ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 29th July 2022

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Top 6: Zuck   Silly Little Poll!   Queenstown Sallies   Vaughans School Show   What did you say during the procedure?   Final Rankings: Fizzy Drink Edition   Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. As we record this, there is a man outside. He's water blasting the pavers. He is doing the worst job. He's holding the nozzle too far away. He's got a kink in the hose, so the water pressure's going to be off. But he's also just blowing. He's not close enough to be removing anything. He's h the nozzle too far away. He's got a kink in the hose, so the water pressure's going to be off. But he's also just blowing.

He's not close enough to be removing anything. He's hosing, basically. He's hosing. He's high-pressure hosing. He's not waterblasting. I've got nothing to do now. I've got a weekend ahead of me. I'll do that.

Leave that with me. Also, you say man. He does look like a sort of 19, 20-year-old. I tell you what, in his inexperience on the arse end of a car, it sure is showing. Look at the kink in that hose. The water pressure is not going to be. To be honest, there's not really any dirty spots.

There are. Look at the green. Okay, let's watch what he does when he gets to this particularly grimy spot here underneath the trees. It's coming up. Oh, he's walking away from it. He gave it a blistery spritz. He's scared of it.

You know, this is why There's a game now Where you can water blast things Like an actual Virtual video game Well he needs to play it a bit If you are He's dropped the hose

If you game on a PC Heads up Because somebody sent this to me Unfortunately I don't have A gaming PC Lawn mowing simulator Is free at the moment Okay

Lawn mowing That's alright And you can drive like up to You can mow like massive paddocks and all sorts of things. Can you mow a stadium and do the lines? Yeah, you can.

And there's stadiums, I think it's like, what's Manchester United stadiums called? Etihad. Are they Etihad stadium? I don't know. Yeah, but. Etihad was in Melbourne.

That's right, it's Marvel Stadium now. Yeah, right. But you can actually mow there. Yeah, you can mow those. And then it's like, it gives you a mark at the end. When we went to that Manchester Stadium,

they wouldn't even let you walk on the grass. They wouldn't even let you touch the grass. No. Because I'm guessing people want to take a couple of blades home. Oh, yeah, especially if you're a big Man U fan. That's like your home. What's he done? This guy doesn't give a fuck.

He's just dropped the water blaster on the ground. He dropped it. You can't drop a water blaster. He's on his phone. He's missing the mossy bits. He's missing the mossy bits. He's missing the mossy bits. He did just look before

and see that we're all looking at him. Well, I hope he bucks up his fucking ideas. Jesus, unless he's doing some sort of pre-wash and that's got some chemical in

it, well then he just has to loosely spray around, you know, you sort of wet and forget. He's got a chemical bottle at the moment. Oh, okay.

Well, here we go. Spray and walk away. Yeah, this will be the bit where he gets out the chemicals. What kind of water blaster has he got? Is it petrol or is it electric? It looks petrol. Okay, I'm on board with that. Okay, all right, we'll stand by.

Fuck around with an electric water blaster. Get a big bloody Honda motor-powered water blaster. Well, you know how this goes anyway. Oh, that. Look, look at that grime. He's looking at me, He's looking at me. Pretend not to. Write him a note. Point out to the sky.

No, he's walking over. I'm sorry. I know that was a natural wrap up there, but I'm just continuing it all because he's walking over with a large bottle. He's got a large bottle. Here we go. He's got a large bottle. Now he's going to do the, because I reckon he was just getting it wet. He keeps opening up the cap and looking at it. If you don't know what the chemical is, that's not good news. Oh, he's going to do the, because I reckon he was just getting it wet. He keeps opening up the cap and looking at it. If you don't know what the chemical is, that's not good news.

Oh, he's pouring the chemical onto the benches. What the fuck? What is he doing? He's going to kill the plants. No, you know what he's doing? He's going to brush them. He's going to get a broom out. No, that's the good thing about water blasting.

You don't need to brush the water blasts. He's just tipping it. He's going to kill the plants. We'll keep you updated. We'll keep you updated. All right. This is hot. This is hot it. All right. He's going to kill the plants. We'll keep you updated. We'll keep you updated. All right. This is hot. This is hot content.

Hot content. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Happy Friday morning. And you look radiant. Thank you. After your colonoscopy yesterday and your day off. Yes. What a day off it was.

Just a casual. Just easy casual day. At home day off it was. Just a casual... Just easy, casual day. At home, day off. Yeah, we will be giving you a bit of an update on that later, including some particularly embarrassing moments. Yeah, because you said something under the influence of the medical drugs, didn't you? Yeah, something that I thought was sort of a private chat

between the three of us, and now I've opened it up to... Yeah, a number of nurses and a doctor. I love that. Do you know what you got? What did you get? Propofol. Propofol and a little bit of something else. I brought in my form if you want to look inside my anus.

You brought in what? I brought in some photos. I didn't take any photos, huh? I don't ever think I've seen the inside of a colleague's arm. Yeah, you can see my vocal cords and And HD? And you can see my... Is it like 1080 or HD? It's pretty high quality. You've got vocal cords in your anus.

No, I got a gastroscopy as well. Oh, so in top and bottom. Top and bottom. Top and tail. Oh, wow. Very versatile. Yes. Okay.

I was getting a lot of messages on Instagram, though, asking why. No concern. That's all I'll say. No concern. I think people were though, asking why. No concern. That's all I'll say. No concern. I think people were like, are you dying? No. Not yet. Not yet.

I mean, we're all dying. I mean, we're all dying slowly but surely. Slowly but surely. I think it's oxygen that's killing us personally. Well, you guys just think about if you want to see the photos or not. But it's not like you're not seeing a puckered butthole. You're just seeing a colon. I've seen. Why don't it just look like

that? Because before I got mine done, I looked up. Yeah, why don't it just look like that ad, you know with the firefighters? The Gaviscon ad. And they're spraying the Gaviscon inside. Why don't it just look like that? There were some areas that could have used a bit of Gaviscon. For sure. It looks slightly inflamed. Alright, coming up on the show, the

top six Yeah For the first time ever Since they started making money Facebook's lost money Like their Advertising revenue Has gone down I knew not using it as much

Would hurt them Is that a conscious decision You made Yeah I was like This will teach them You cold hearted bastard Yeah

Well I've got the top six ways Zuck can save some money With budget cuts. He's obviously going to have to, you know, pull back a little. Yeah, Vaughan's pick for Friday flashback today, 8 o'clock.

No pressure. I've got one in mind, but I was going to look to see if anything had happened this week. Music-wise? Music-wise,

it could have led to a real banger. Right. But no, nothing yet. Drake took a 14-minute flight on his 767. Yeah, talking early Drake, are you? You're a little bit of

Degrassi-hide Drake, do you? Okay. Well, I'll have a look. 8 o'clock for Vaughan's Flashback Friday. What are they calling them? Eco- Terrorists.

Yeah. Celebrities being eco-terrorists. Next on the show. Something you use every day. There's a version of it that you only have to use once a week. And I, no, I wouldn't trust this. Okay. It's next.

ZM. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So there's a miracle deodorant that is going viral at the moment because it claims you only have to use it once a week and it will stop your pongan. Now, it's a natural deodorant, and I've used these in the past when I was toying with the idea of being an earth mother. You were toying with the idea?

I was toying with the idea of being sort of like a natural woman. Right, okay. For some time. And then I used these natural deodorants for a while and they, I haven't found one that works. Because they don't stop you sweating, they just stop you smelling. Right, so you're still, yeah.

But you're still wet. Yeah. You're still wet under there. And you don't want the wet pits. You don't want the patch. You don't want the wet pits. I want all those chemicals in there. And you don't want the wet pits. You don't want the patch. You don't want the wet pits. I want all those chemicals in there. But apparently this is not a new idea.

It was originally designed for soldiers in wartime. Oh, which wartime? Hot war. World War II. Oh, okay. Cold war. It was designed for the Soviet army. Okay.

Because you can't just be waking up every morning and having a beauty regime. Well, no, because you can't stand up in the trench to put on your Nivea dry, which is what I use. Oh, you couldn't have aerosol in there. Not a lot of trench warfare in World War II. Russians mostly on the eastern front. Horrendously cold situation.

They froze the Germans out. They had holes, though. Little foxholes. Yeah, but not the trench warfare of World War I. Tank warfare on the eastern front there. They froze the Germans out. They did a little retreat, a little scorched earth policy.

But even when you're cold, you still sweat. Yeah, true. And you stink. So what's this particular deodorant? So it's called it is called Lavellin. Yeah. It's an aluminium particular deodorant? So it's called, it is called Lavellin. Yeah. It's an aluminium-free deodorant that only applies once a week.

It launched in Australia in 2017, this particular version of this recipe, of this deodorant, and now it's like so popular and it's gone viral because everyone's like, you just put it on. And you only need like a little drop of it. It's like a liquid. Oh, yeah. And then you rub it in. So if you've got a tub of it, like, you just put it on. And you only need like a little drop of it. It's like a liquid. And then you rub it in. So if you've got a tub of it, like a whole pot of it,

it costs $27 and it will last a year. Oh wow, okay. It's got all this stuff. It's got chamomile, vitamin E, zinc, arnica. You've lost me at arnica. Arnica. No, that's the natural bruise remover. Yeah. Vitamin E, zinc, arnica. You've lost me at arnica. Arnica.

No, isn't that the natural bruise remover? Yeah. Castor seed oil, probio balance. I don't know what that is. Trithon citron. It's yogurt, I think. I don't know. And some kind of wax. Calendula.

Calendula. Right. That would hold it all together. And a bit of talc. Oh, I thought everybody was out on talc. I thought you were anti-talc. Yeah, right. Oh, well, apparently it's talconate.

All of that mixed together and you'll only need it once. And it will stop you sweating. Yeah, and so many people are like. And stop you smelling. No, no, it doesn't stop you sweating. Doesn't stop. Okay, you're saying that's what you need. You're still wet.

Nice smelling wetness is what it promises. We're going to talk later in the show about targeted advertising. Yeah. But I just want to touch lightly on it here. Please do. I've been targeted advertised deodorant specifically for the balls. You don't need deodorant for the balls. You don't need deodorant for the balls.

I didn't think I needed deodorant for the balls either. It's a very delicate pH down there. You don't want to be messing with your Jenny. They're saying you shouldn't just be putting any deodorant on your balls. Don't put any deodorant on your balls. Apparently, so I looked and I was like, well, I'm interested. You've got me. Have I been the only one?

Because I haven't talked to my friends about this, my lads. Well, I don't deodorize my balls. You don't deodorize your balls? No, absolutely not. And of everybody, I would say you'd probably have the stinkiest balls. Or no, just because of how active you are. You mean with the gym cycle classes? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He does squish them a lot on the bike. Outside of that, I would imagine your testicles, personal hygiene. Well, thank you. Chef's kiss. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Couldn't agree more. But I didn't know.

And that's what it said. It's like, you shouldn't be putting ordinary deodorant on your balls. I was like, well, I never ever have. I don't think you should put anything on your balls. Don't put anything on the balls. Well, this was apparently like a deodorant that also reduced chafing. But then I don't have an everyday chafe on the balls. We did talk about this not so long ago about people talquing the balls.

Talquing the balls to dry them up. Producer Jared, massive fan of talquing the balls after a shower. Are you nice and talqued this morning, Jared? Are you here to share with the nation? No, I was in a rush this morning, so I had to forego the talc. Pat dry and then a talc, right? Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.

If you leave it a bit damp. So I thought talc had been cancelled. Not in the pig stock household. Okay. They're rolling the dice on that. Did they take out that lawsuit ingredient? Did they change the recipe? I don't know.

He's got dry walls. That's all he cares about. Yeah. That was, speaking of you, the deodorants, the once a week, this guy was, yeah,

telling me to put it on the, hmm. Well, if you run out of time like Jared, you don't have time to deodorant or talc the balls. Maybe this could be for you. Yeah.

And it's all natural, so it could be safe on the pits and the balls. Yeah, so is a bloody leech, but I'm not putting that on my balls, am I? Don't put a leech on the balls. People are like, oh, it's all natural, it'll be fine, but then so are some acids, you know? Yeah.

Don't acid the balls. Don't leech the balls. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. All right. Sexually active people, listen up. I'm listening. Not you. Aw. I'm listening. Not you. Aw.

Aw, sorry. Well, unless you're sexually active outside of your relationship. Well, there's been rumors about you. There has been rumors that I am a swinger. There's a difference in a swinger and an open relationship, though. Yeah, there is. They're labeled open relationship. I've been told that.

To be honest, he's a big man. I think you should cheer him around. Yeah, there's. They're doing a labelled open relationship. I've been told that. To be honest, he's a big man. I think you should cheer him around. Yeah, there's plenty of them to go around. So many people want their own Greg Rover from Nova.

Yeah, they do. That's why that latest ad got everybody hot and bothered. So, monkey pox. Yeah. Let's talk about monkey pox. It's coming.

Because if you're sexually active and not taking necessary precautions, this is just another thing to worry about. On a long list of things to worry about. I caught up with a friend who just got back from Europe yesterday.

Oh, nice. And he said it really stopped him hooking up with people. Oh, really? Because he was just like, in the last few weeks he's like, because Spain is exploding. Spain and New York are the worst hot spots. That's where all the hotties are. I know.

Such a shame. What a missed opportunity. So this is the activity risk rating for monkeypox transmission from the World Health Organization. Yeah. Because what have they said is the best way to limit yourself to one sexual partner, to be in a mahogany relationship? Mahogany? What?

Mahogany. Mahogany. One person. And this is quite a lot for you to grasp. Let me explain to you the last. So do they go home afterwards? They can go home afterwards, but the next time you have one, you have them as well.

Wait, they come back. They might as well stay. They come back. They might as well just stay. They might as well move in and start chipping in for the mortgage. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah, right.

Okay. But obviously get them to sign something that entitles them to absolutely zero part of that apartment should the relationship fail. Oh, absolutely. That's what they want. Right. So if monkeypox like last two years and they're still around, prenup. Prenup before that.

We want prenup. I get prenup in on date one to be totally honest. Okay, right. Yeah. Get them to sign a little thing. The World Health Organization is saying, try not to sleep with hundreds of people. Just try, just try. Try your best.

Try and let that laugh that you just did really spoke volumes. This is the activity risk rating for monkeypox transmission. You are unlikely to get monkeypox if you are dancing at a party outside with mostly clothed people. That's very specific, isn't it? Mostly clothed. Well, no, because there are dance parties with mostly unclothed. Inside with mostly unclothed people.

Yes, I've heard about these. Unlikely to experience co-worker to co-worker transmission. So it's not like COVID. It's not going to hang in the air. It's not airborne, is it? Yeah, but what about hugs? Because you're always trying to hug people. I know, I love a hug. Again, but if you're mostly clothed,

you should be fine. But I'm always trying to take your tops off. You've stuck a hand up, haven't you? Bit of skin to skin. You cuddle people and you put your hand up the back of their shirt. Unlikely to get it trying on clothing at a store. Unless someone with monkey pox has tried it on. Tried on those undies and they didn't use the

wear your undies while trying on undies rule. Unlikely to get it touching a doorknob. It totally depends what you're touching it with, to be fair there. Travelling in an airport or on a plane. Unlikely to get monkey pox. In a swimming pool, hot tub or body of water. Unlikely to get monkey pox. Unlikely to get it from a public restroom or public transit.

Or at a grocery store, coffee shop or gym via the equipment. So they're really trying to distance themselves from COVID because those are all the places we'd get COVID. Yeah, those are definitely COVID. Touching doorknobs and the likes. I thought you said it could stay on a surface for a long time. Yeah, I read an article this week saying it could stay on a surface for 15 days. That's why you wipe your gym equipment.

Yeah. Wipe it thoroughly. Okay, now it is possible to get monkey pox from sharing drinks, sharing a bed, sharing a towel or sharing personal toiletry items.

I'm talking your once a week natural deodorants, your ball deodorants. Yeah, yeah. It's possible. It is possible. Right. Possible to also getting

dancing at a crowded party inside with fully clothed people. That's to clubs. So you see their clothes but now they're inside with fully clothed people. That's to clubs. So you see their clothes, but now they're inside. Plumping and grinding. I'm all about that grind, that dirty grind. I know you are. You drop a low, Vaughn. Drop a low while I practice knocking over bottles when I was in my teens. Drop a low.

Boom. Thrust a bottle of it. Now, we're getting into orange territory on their more risky ways of contracting monkeypox. It is risky if you are kissing and cuddling. Okay. That's fun though. Or dancing at a crowded party inside with non-fully clothed people.

I'm talking tops off. I'm talking assless chaps. I'm talking singlets. Yep. Singlets. Or your singlets would, because there's a lot of skin. Yeah, a lot of skin showing. Great question.

Do they have to have like the poxy poxes? That's a good question because it seemed like with COVID, people were the most infectious at the very early stages of it, right? Yeah, yeah. The viral shedding. Yeah. Yeah, that seemed to be when they were getting it. And the most risky contact.

Yeah. This is in red. I've color coded this. We've just moved from orange to red. Direct contact with the infectious rash, scabs, or bodily fluids. That makes sense. Yeah.

Yeah. Direct contact, like touching it. Yeah. If you're about to give it a jab and you see a scab, run away. Put on the brakes. And isolate.

For goodness sakes. It's a handy little rhyme. Most risky, also sexual or intimate contact. Please note that condoms do not protect against monkeypox transmission. So what are you supposed to do? What's a dental dam? Full body dental dam. Full body dental dam. Full body dental dam.

Full, like, contagion suits. PPE. PPE. PPE sex gear. But it's got a little zip for the willy. No. No, no, no. No. The willy is, you know when COVID was a thing

and you saw people hugging their grandma and they put their arms through the thing like that in a sandblasting unit. So it's just hand stuff for a while. No, it's probably just... No, no, you can use that, but I'm just saying that's got to be part of the costume. So hands and the little woolly one and...

It's all going, oh, wow, okay. Or, like the World Health Organisation say, this is a fascinating idea. One, the same person. I don't think you're quite grasping it. But over and over again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so let's... So you're like me, look at me. Yeah. I don't think you're quite grasping it. But over and over again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so let's.

So you're like me, look at me. Yeah. And then Sade. Yeah. I mean, there's probably more of a stretch of the imagination because we've been married for 10 years. I don't think we even class each other as sexual partners anymore. But if it was just us, as it has been.

Yeah. But if you start, like you see the same person over and over, would you like do stuff with them,, go to the movies and stuff? You don't have to. That's not compulsory. You can be exclusively. Fascinating. Exclusive bedroom friends.

Okay. And that's how I want you to introduce them as well. This is my exclusive bedroom friend. Right, okay. Next on the show, the top six and Zuckerberg's taking a hit. Yeah, Facebook's revenue is down for the first time in history on previous months. So I've got the top six ways that Zook can tighten the belt, man. He's on a budget

now. Yeah, he's doing it tough like the rest of us. He's so tough. Hi there. The Facebook revenue department has some bad news. For the first time ever, they've actually lost revenue. Not lost money, but graph them going up, how much money they've made for the first time. It's not gone up.

It's gone down. So they still made money, but just not as much. Aw. I know. Thoughts and prayers. They don't need to be depressing their dollars and cents. Yeah, they're thoughts and prayers. Dollars and cents. Yeah, they're losing to TikTok. Yeah, all the other ones coming for the crown.

I feel like I hardly, I've still got Facebook. Messenger use it obviously daily, but there'll be days where I don't even check my feed. My feed doesn't change for weeks on end. That's the problem. Their algorithm's all up the wazoo. Up the wazoo. So that's gone down.

But, you know, I'm a bit of a consultant when it comes to businesses. Yeah, you are. And so I'll say a way to make money is to save money. Okay. So I've got the top six ways Zach can save some money with the budget cuts. Number six, less zinc on his face when he's out foil boarding. That can't be cheap. He's pale, though.

Yeah, but just get a good sunscreen, you know, like the SPF 50. Do you remember he came out and he said he was doing that on purpose? Yeah. To avoid the media? That's exactly what a robot would say. Yeah. If it puts zinc on its face rather than sunscreen, when zinc's just for under the eyes and on the nose.

Our number five on the list of the top six ways a Zuck can save some money with a budget cut. Speaking of foil boarding, he better put the foil board on Marketplace. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well used, though. Well loved. Well, well, well, well gnarled, man.

Well hammered. Well pumped. Dude. Out in the ocean, my dude. Number four on the list of the top six ways Zuck can save some money with budget cuts. Maybe start a give-a-little. You see some give-a-littles and you're like, hmm, I think you've misread the room there, person who started this give-a-little.

It's not what give-a-littles for. It's not because you want to go on a trip overseas or import something. I think that's primarily for sick people and families that have lost a loved one. You've lost everything in like a house fire or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of more your give-a-l loved one. Yeah, who lost everything in like a house fire. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of, you're more, you give a littles. Yeah.

But it'd be a popular give a little. Everybody would have a look. They'd have a look. I don't know if they'd give any money. Number three, well, if enough eyes get on it, it wouldn't matter. You only have to give a little. Yes, not a lot.

A little quickly becomes a lot. Number three on the list of the top six ways Zuck can save some money with the budget cuts are more ads. More, more. I mean, Facebook's already 90% ads and paid for political propaganda. Why not make it 95?

Yeah. All right. 95%. Make it so you have to really scroll through to see your friend's baby. But you really have to, that's the treasure at the end of a long trail. Number two on the list of the top six ways

Zuck can save some money with budget cuts. You know those scams that people always fall for on Facebook? Yeah. What if the scams were Facebook? So you go there to get scammed. Facebook all was straight in the scams. They were scamming you the whole time. Yeah.

And then you pay to get out of the scam. Yeah. But you don't get all your money back, but they give you a little bit of something and then they're making money off everyone that falls for the scams. They were scamming you the whole time. Yeah. And then you pay to get out of the scam. Yeah. But you don't get all your money back but they give you a little bit of something and then they're making money off everyone that falls

with the scams. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's evil but it's good. The obvious next step. Wouldn't put it past them. Nah.

Nah. And number one on the list of the top six ways Zuck can save some money with a budget cuts drugs. Oh yeah? I hear that drugs

are still very popular. Yeah right. In some places even on the rise. On the yeah? I hear that drugs are still very popular. Yeah, right. In some places, even on the rise. On the rise? Yeah. Goodness me. And a hell of a moneymaker, both legal and illegal. Yeah.

The people who are dealing with drugs always seem to be quite well off, so that could be their next step. That is today's top six. It's about damn time. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Coriander. Yay.

Oh, no. Otherwise known as cilantro. Cilantro. Cilantro. Yeah, cooking Mexican food. Yeah. And it's like, and then you need cilantro. I was like, well, I've never heard of that before.

Yeah. Is it like a parsley? Yeah, and it was coriander. Didn't grow up in a coriander-friendly household, me. Neither. Very, I've talked about coriander-friendly household, me. Neither. Very, I've talked about it before, salt and pepper were about the extent of the seasonings in the Smith house. Yeah, I'm big on coriander, love it. Love coriander.

I used to hate it, and I thought I had the gene that makes it taste like soap. And then you grew up stopping a little bitch. Yeah, I grew up stopping a little bitch stopping a little bitch that's mostly what I say to people when they say they don't like coriander

oh my god and now I just like cannot get enough I put in salads sandwiches wraps tacos nachos

anything freshens everything up doesn't it curries yeah yum Chinese soup yum yum

yeah so good yum yum I want some I thought this would be more in favour. 59% of people said yes. Coriander.

41% are little bitches. No, that's more than I thought it would be. Really? I thought it would be way, way more people hating. When I voted yesterday, it was very much in favour of coriander. Yeah, right. So the little bitches have come out overnight. Danielle's a little bitch.

We're probably going to start calling everybody a little bitch. Danielle says, oh my God, the actual devil's herb. That shit disguises itself as flatly parsley some days and it can really ruin a whole day.

Yeah. I mean, it's strong. Yeah. It's better than parsley, though, right? You love parsley. I know, but I love coriander more.

But if you have the gene, I can see what she says. Then you're making your entire dish taste like someone's just put a squirt of soap in it. Soap sandwich. Yeah. I'll just get used to eating soap. Becky said, I would vote yes multiple times. Favorite herb, I'm obsessed.

Okay. Because Becky's going hard for coriander. Yum. Jamie says, love it so much. That's the thing. It's not like a eh or a meh. It's like a for coriander. Yum. Jamie says, love it so much. That's the thing. It's not like a eh or a nah. It's like a no or a yes. It's a passion.

It's a lifestyle. They love it. Autumn says, I grew it for the first time this year to see what the fuss was about. Just the smell of it makes me want to vomit. Oh, yeah. Hard to grow? It booms.

Really? I'd like to know the secret to coriander Oh I can grow it But the thing is You go there one day And you're like Oh a couple of leaves Next day you come back

It's gone to seed Yeah the secret's Buying those little pots From the supermarket Yeah but you plant those And then when they grow back It's the same It goes

Bah seed Their seeds are cool though Their seeds are like These perfectly round little balls And they'll sell seed as well Maybe you know what Maybe coriander needs some shade Well maybe You know like a part shade situation Oh absolutely Because it burns You can't have it out with your mint balls and they'll sell seed as well. Maybe, you know what, maybe coriander needs some shade.

Well, maybe. You know, like a part shade situation. Oh, absolutely, because it burns. You can't have it out with your mint. Yeah, big bags of it at the supermarket. Yeah, I just buy the bags. Yeah, well, I mean, I'm trying to save the world over here. No, you're not.

You have a car, I've got a four-wheel drive. Yeah, you've got two of them. You've got two four-wheel drives and three four-wheel drives. And I have a bicycle. Why am I being attacked? Because you're an eco-terrorist. You're basically Drake. I'm not Drake.

Did you private jet to work this morning? I did private jet to work. I was running like, where is the runway? Where is the runway near work? No, it's a straight up and down one. Oh, like a fighter jet. Yeah, a fighter jet takes off vertically. Really pisses the neighbours off when I get it started at that time in the morning. But, you know, suck it.

Courtney says it's the devil's herb. Lots of people saying it's the devil's herb. The devil, but it's fresh and it's light and it's bright. The devil is dark and dirty. If that's the devil, count me in. Hell sounds great. You're telling me Jesus didn't have coriander at the last meal? Jesus would have loved coriander.

He would have loved it. You're telling me the dude rocking around in Roman sandals with a beard and long hair wasn't liking fresh herbs of all shapes and sizes? The dude rocked a taco. Yeah, are you kidding me? He loved a taco truck. But Jesus would have gone hard shell taco. Yeah, he would have.

Made a real asshole of himself holding it sideways and slopping it all down his throat. It would have been filled with mints as well. It was the people's demigod, you know. He's a hard shell, mints taco guy. He's the people's demigod. I'm sure there's a passage on it in the Bible. I bet. If you looked hard enough, you can find anything in there.

Coriander's the bomb, makes all food so much better, says Hannah. Also eat it with people who hate it because then you get all of theirs. Yeah. Fair call. Jess says, I'll eat it if someone put it on my plate, but I wouldn't choose to. So I voted no, but I'd still eat it. Look, Jess, pick a side, mate. We're not here for your dilly-dallying. Here I am. Another Jess says it tastes like soap. She's got

the gene. She's got the gene. Oh, she's got the gene. You know what? More coriander for us. Yeah. Yeah. Play. ZDM's F coriander for us. Yeah. Yeah. I can't even remember how this came up. Pass the Pigs. What were we talking about? And then we talked about Pass the Pigs, and then I was like, oh my God.

You need it. I need it. Well, and I remember playing this as a kid. We had Pass the Pigs. It's a game where you are, and you can still buy it now. You can buy it now, but it's alligs. It's a game where you and you can still buy it now. You can buy it now, but it's all new. You actually found a retro version on Trade Me. You get

a little case and inside are two little rubber pigs. And you've got to throw them like you throw dice. And then however the pigs land, you get points. So sometimes if you want the big points, they land on top of each other. That's going to be a tough toss. But that's like mega points. Yeah. So sometimes if you want the big points, they land on top of each other. That's going to be a tough toss. That's a tough toss but that's like mega points.

And they've all got names. The Sider, the Trotter, the Double Trotter, the Razorback, the Double Razorback, the Snouter, Double Snouter, Leaning Jowler. There's all these things and they correlate to points. So Vaughan, you're going to have a little go. So basically what you do is like say we three were playing and you would start and you toss the pigs and you keep going

until you're happy with your score. You're trying to get to 100. And then, but there's one really easy one that wipes all your points. You need to know when to tap out.

You know when to hold him, know when to fold him. And then you would pass him along to Fletch and he would do the same until someone gets to 100. So I do all of my throws in a row.

No, but you can do one and then you can get 10 points and be like, I'm going to leave it there. Because if you throw the pig out, which is opposite sides, you lose all your points. And you're out.

Yeah. And you never got to play this as a kid. Never played past the pigs. I thought when you guys were talking about it, you were talking about that one where there was this little fluffy ball and you had a pig that you squeezed and it blew air at us. Oh, no. No, these are like the size of dice.

So how do you get them to land on each other? They're not going to sit on top of each other. They do. Yeah, there's some. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do. This is my first. At the age of 40, my first ever pass the pig.

Oh, my God. Oh, he's got one on his back. One on his back and one on his side. That is called. Also, I would say one on her back because I can see some teats there. One pick lands on back, one on side. That's five points. That's a great start.

That's great. That's a great start. Okay, do you want to have another go and pass on? All right, I'm addicted now. Do they play this at the casino? So you think same side. Both are on their sides. Both are on their same sides.

This is the dumbest game. That's one point. That's one point. You've got six points. One point. You've got six size. Both are on their sides. Both are on their same size. This is the dumbest game. That's one point. That's one point. You've got six points. One point. You've got six points. Keep going. What's the one that's worth the most?

How can I score? Is there a 100 point move? Okay, so if you can get them both on their snout to land face down, that's 40. No, you do. You do. You do. And if you get them both on their back, that's 20. One on his feet and one on her side. One on his feet and one on her side.

One on her feet, one on the side. Love a genie neutral, five points. You're at 11. You're climbing. You're really good at this. What do I do? What's the one? If you get one, if you get a make and bacon,

which is both pigs touching in any position, you lose all your points and you go to the next player. In any position so they can't be touching. Yeah. If you get the piggy back, which is, honestly, I've never seen it, and I started playing this in the 1990s. If they get it like that, one on top of the other, you're out of the whole damn game.

What? I think that's impossible. It's near impossible, though I can't even get them to balance. Oh, there, that took a lot of balancing. So I can, but it would be very hard. No, it seems very silly, doesn't it? Oh, one on the back, one on the side. I tell you what, though.

Five points, you're at 16. It does look very innocent, but this, just like Monopoly, can end in fights. Because you're going, you're 16 now, right? And you're going, your next throw could be one on either side or your points are gone and you're going to start again and then it's Fletcher's turn. So you've got to know, like,

or you want to hold on to your 16. Oh, he's going again. My God. He's got a snout! He's got a snout! He's doing a snout lane! And one on the feet! One on the feet and one on the snout. That's got to be some points. That's a hard one. That's 15 points, mate. What, what, what? He's a natural.

He's a natural. You're on 31. I can't believe you've never played this game before. I mean, I'm guessing there'll be people listening now that haven't played it. Thank you to the very rich lady in Hearn Bay who sold this to me. Look, you keep on going. You're bloody good at this game. You've found your game.

I want to roll an out. All right. You're out. That's it. Zero points. Zero points. Well, because they're both on their sides. Yeah, on opposite sides.

You're a loser. You're a loser. That's technically the same side. Because look. Well, you can find out for this later. A couple of minutes away from 7. I will not go out. Give me that shit.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's ironic I've got my mouth full with what I'm about to tell you. Wow. I have been getting targeted advertising lately and I just want to kind of like talk this through. Talk it out. Talk it out. Right. Because it's been offensive to you, hasn't it?

Oh my God. I was just like, I wonder how far down I have to scroll. I just refreshed Facebook, scrolled down. It's like the third post. For trueclassictees.com. Have you seen them? Yeah, I've seen them. It's a T-shirt for what they describe as like dad bods

or like older dudes who maybe aren't in shape like they used to be. It's this T-shirt that doesn't sit like an ordinary t-shirt. And it's got all these like quite hefty dudes. Some of the dudes are like muscly, but you know, like hefty muscly. Yeah, yeah, right. Just junky. And it's tighter around the bicep to make it look like you've got guns. Yeah.

Shaped around the chest. Yeah. And then baggier around the tum-tum. Yeah. Because a lot of men when they get older and maybe puff out a bit, they just wear a tent and think that they're

covering their bod. But it makes it look so much worse. So this is like nipping where you want it nipped in. So a mate of mine actually bought a six pack. Really? And he said day one of wearing them, got three compliments. Like people have been like, even his partner,

his long-term partner that he's been with for nearly 20 years, was like, have you been going to the gym at lunchtime? Oh, yeah, I see how they come out at the bottom. Yeah. Okay. And they're longer as well. So if you've got a bit of a pook pooks. They go over the pook pooks. They go over and then continue to go down.

So it makes you look a bit taller and longer then as well. Yeah, because if you've got little pookies, sometimes it'll, they do a raglan. See, look, you were annoyed that they were targeting you for your dad bod, but now you're into it. I didn't know they did a raglan. Boy loves a raglan. I love a raglan.

Well, maybe you should talk to AS Colour, who dress you, and say... They don't have an official sponsorship of this hot piece of ass. Okay, so that. Yeah. And then I got another one. I wonder if I scroll down. I guarantee how far down am I going to have to scroll to see this. This is the thing about targeted advertising.

The minute they target you, you can't escape them. Here it is. Oh, my God. Like five posts down. Manscaped. It's for shaving your nether regions. Pretty much calls you a hairy mess. I get the shaver ones quite a bit.

For your balls. Have you been uploading pictures of your penis to the internet? And I've seen it and gone, good lord, he needs a trim. The AI sees the pubes. And they're like, we're not doing pubes these days. No one's doing pubes these days. So they're like, advertise. Yeah.

I'm not getting the one where they stick it into a kiwi fruit. I get that one sometimes. That had a New Zealand connection, right? Wasn't it? I think so. I'm getting one now. It's got a flashlight on it. Look at this one.

Manscaped. It's waterproof and it's got a bloody headlight on it in case it's a dark night when you're trimming. You'd never trim your pubes in a poorly lit room. No. Do it in the bathroom with all the bathrooms. Chuck the heat lamp on as well. Right.

But you've been very offended because of the four packet offers. This is the weed whacker for air and nose hair trimmed. But mind you, as an ageing man, it's very important to have one of these. Yeah. You've got to get rid of it. And certainly nose and ear hairs need to be taken care of. But calling it the weed whacker, now you're getting a 15% off. Oh, well, if you're going to buy now, you might as well do it while you've got the code.

And here's the other ones I was talking about. This is like specific deodorant for the balls. The ball spray is just what theodorant for the balls. The ball spray is just what the doctor ordered for the buds below it. Soothing aloe and witch hazel extracts. Keep your high friction areas cool, calm and protected after a good shave. High friction. But wouldn't a shave make more friction?

Rather than the puff of a pube? Yeah, it would. But that's what they're saying is this stuff is to, you know, reduce that. I don't have any ads at the moment. Oh, my God. I'm just, all it is for me is ads. Look, there's this neat little four-pack. There you get the ball toner, the ball deodorant, the weed whacker, a pair of their undies, and the pube shaver.

My ad's turned off or something. I'm just going like this. I've got an air blocker. That's right. But does that work on a Facebook feed? That's a way to... No, because this is different. That's not...

It doesn't have an ad pop-up, though. It's literally an in-feed ad. I thought those were impossible to block. I'm scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and I don't have a single ad. Anyway, I'm offended. Because I'm old with the fat guts

and smelly balls, apparently, according to this Facebook algorithm. You've got to hide your moobs and your pubes. The moobs and the pubes have got to go. So I was wondering if there's anybody out there who has been offended by their targeted advertising. Now, I've just texted our friend Sean, who's a doctor. He said, should you put deodorant on your balls?

He said, what? And I said, Vaughan's getting targeted advertising. He said, I would just clean them rather than deodorant because it balls. He said, what? And I said, Vaughan's getting targeted advertising. He said, I would just clean them rather than deodorant because it's a sensitive skin. And then he said, ha, ha, ha, what has he been Googling? I wonder if my wife has Googled how to tell my husband he needs to wash his balls. He's got stinky balls.

And then you know how these algorithms work. They know they're like, well, there's another guy that kind of fits that age group. Yeah, right. I think if you've got that problem, you just need to come out and say it. Honesty is the best policy. Absolutely.

Babe, I love you, but. Maybe jump in the shower with them and wash them, you know, for them. Make it playful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we want to take some calls now. 0800 DALSATM 9696. When has targeted advertising offended you? Somebody said, if you think it's offensive receiving the ad about using the t-shirt to hide your moobs, I'm a woman and I've had that ad, so that's more offensive.

Okay, well, this is what we want to hear. When have you been offended? Deeply. Deeply by targeted advertising, something that's popped up in your feed, maybe it keeps popping up and you're like, why am I getting these ads? So we're talking when targeted advertising on Instagram, Facebook or any of the socials has offended you

because you're like, I'm not too old for that. I don't need that yet. Or like Vaughan is suggesting that his balls stink. You're getting a lot of ball deodorants. I've been checking them so often. Every time you're in the toilet, you just bend down a bit.

It's not a thing you need. You don't need to deodorize. You just need to wash. But you know, they always say that people that smell don't realize they smell and people are afraid to tell them. So now in my head, I'm constantly like, when I leave and go to the bathroom, are you guys like, cool, smelly balls?

No, let's just do a flat deal. If anyone ever has bad breath, bad BO or bad balls, we're saying it. I don't think Hayley and I have ever caught a whiff of anything. This is to a flat deal. If anyone ever has bad breath, bad BO, or bad balls, we're saying it. We're saying it. I don't think Hayley and I have ever caught a whiff of anything. We've never had a personal discussion about your balls. This puts me at great ease, and I thank you for it. Thank you. I was even after being married for, like,

however long I've been married for, coming up 12 years, I still feel like Charlotte wouldn't quite know how to bridge the subject. Yeah, yeah, it's tough. So you're getting the old man t-shirts. Yeah. That are targeted advertising at you. To be honest, I seriously consider purchasing them. Well, they do look very flattering. Very flattering. Heidi, when were you offended

by targeted ads? I wasn't super offended, but it was weird because for about six months I keep getting erotic fantasy novel books. Had you been branching out and reading erotic fantasy? No. No, it's just, I mean, I like fantasy books,

but not in their major erotic. But I'd be, I would be offended because that's the literature, the realm of the, you know, the mum at home, isn't it? The older mum at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're calling me an older mum. Was it more fantasy than Mel's and Boo?

Are we talking elves and dwarves sort of thing? Werewolves and vampires. Oh, okay. It's not just one crowd doing it. It's a few different companies. Because once they start and you give it a five-second pause and you look at it, then they know. Do you share?

I think that's what happened. I sort of stopped and then it's picked up. start and you give it a five second pause and you look at it, then they know. Do you share... I sort of stop and then it's picked up. Do you share a device with someone or... No. Because you've Googled something at some stage, Heidi. Or someone who you're in a close relationship with.

Someone you interact with heaps, one of your best friends might be really into werewolf erotic lit. Yeah. And you hang out with them and it picks up on it. Yeah, it picks up on it. Totally. Heidi, thanks for your call.

John, when were you offended by some targeted advertising? Well, it started about a month ago. Yeah. And I got the strangest one, which was 2022, Auckland. The cost of gastric balloon surgery may surprise you. Wow. And would you say, John? I saw this on the news the other day.

Have you seen this? The balloon. When you swallow the tube and then they pump it up. Yes, so then you can't eat as much. And I really don't think I need that. I was going to say, do you feel like you're in the realm of weight loss surgery? I don't remember Googling it. Maybe I was very drunk.

John, can I just say you've got one of the loveliest voices I think we've probably ever talked to. You've put me at ease. Yeah, I would love to hear you read an audiobook. Yes. That's very kind. What? What? John's

audiobooks You should do it We should keep him on the line And get him to do some voiceover work for us Yeah let's get John's details I'm not the only one Flutters Maybe he could read one of the fan fiction The erotic literature

Yeah From our previous caller Maybe could you give us a little taste John could you say The werewolf pulsated Through the forest What? Yeah

You're terrible at erotically. Let John, let John. Okay, go. The werewolf pulsated through the forest. Oh! You said that was weird. That turned me on. It made no sense when you said it.

But John says it and it's... Yeah. I don't know what you did for a living, John. You should start a channel. You should just reading stories. Yeah, just read the Herald every morning. I'd download that. That'd be fantastic.

Thank you for your call, John. Susan, good morning. Good morning. Oh, Susan, you're lovely sounding too, but you've got nothing on John. Did you hear that nice voice, Susan? Did you fall in love with him? He's got a gorgeous voice. Wasn't he beautiful?

Wasn't he beautiful? Wasn't he beautiful? And then the gall of Facebook to offer him a gastric balloon. No, he would not need that regardless of what size he is. Are you a pom as well? Susan, are you a pom or did you just pick up the accent from John because you wanted some compliments as well? No, I actually, I'm a Kiwi by birth, but unfortunately was taken to the UK for my adolescence.

Oh, okay. So you've got a mix. We're welcome home. When were you offended by a targeted ad, Susan? A few days ago, I started getting some advertisements for a thing that looks like a ring, but it's got lots of screws that go inwards on it. And I was like, what on earth is this thing?

And I Googled it, and it's like a chastity device for the male manhood. God, is John still on the phone? Pulsating through the forest with a clamp on his Johnson. Wait, so why? What? What? Why? I have no idea. I'm quite happily vanilla.

I do not need anything like that. Maybe that's what the algorithm thought, is they look at what you look at, whatever it may be, and they think, gosh, she's a bit vanilla. Let's spice it up for Susan. Yeah. Get a clamp on that man. Susan, thanks for your you Call some messages in

To finish up Being over 45 now I get all the menopause ads Popping up Everything from dry skin To natural remedies To libido helpers I am now in the menopause

Demo apparently As a mildly closeted lesbian The am I gay quiz Pops up very frequently The am I Gay quiz. They know. The older of them knows. What's the mild closet?

The door's ajar? You can peek out of it. You can get your... Bourne Smith. I had to stop myself. It's the forest. It was the pulsating through the forest. John's got us all bloody hot and bothered.

John could definitely read us a story about a mildly closeted lesbian. And what's in that cupboard. He can call you on your own time. I sent my partner a text saying it was my time of the month. Two minutes later on his Facebook feed he got an ad for a period tracker app. That's just Facebook helping a brother out. He's got to know where to have chocolate ice cream, you know, just when you come home with it.

I get the Moobs t-shirt ad all the time. I'm not offended, as I think guys with Moobs are hot. So they're just providing me with a distraction for my day. Oh, okay, there we go. You're targeting a gay dude, and he's just like, thank you for the hot content. Vaughan, you need to order one of these t-shirts,

and Fletch and I will, don't tell us what day you're going to wear it on. I won't, yeah. But it'll be obvious because I wear the same t-shirts every day. Yeah, it'll be the day it's not the Mighty Tin Trade t-shirt or the Land Rover t-shirt. Or the Aubergine one. Yeah. Or the purple t-shirt. Or the purple.

That's the three tops he wears. You'll know. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. The Salvation Army. The stores. The Sally's. They're an iconic shop.

I've spent my life flicking around Sally's looking for a good bargain. But the one in Queenstown on Gord Road is under fire because they've got some exorbitant prices. And people are not happy about it. There's a 24-year-old who's down there and she said, I was moving into a new flat. I went to the Sally's on Gorge Road in Queenstown

to look for some cheap furniture for the new flat. And that's what you do. That's what I did when I moved into a flat when I was at university. I feel like... You just did it to see

what it was like to be poor though, right? It was nice to sort of be with the people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice to be with the people. What, did mum and dad cut you off after private school? Yeah, my mum gave me her couch

from Country Traders so that was fine. It didn't match the ciggy bins in the carpet of the flat. Yeah, right. So you needed some... I just wanted something a bit more approachable.

Yeah, right. I feel like, like, I mean, op shops and op shop clothing has always been like a thing but I feel like vintage in the last, especially the last five years, huge. And prices, especially in auckland like op shops in the main like wellington auckland

the main cities christchurch yeah it's pretty crazy it sucked when they worked out that hey yeah it really did they worked out people were coming in buying it giving it maybe a slight zhuzh and then selling it online yeah yeah they were like well why don't we just do that you're like no no no no you're not supposed to do that. Like, I'm a big Save Mart girl. I've always gone to Save Mart since I was a teenager and bought clothes. This shirt's from Save Mart. This bounce from Save Mart.

Really? You'd never know. Thank you. I feel like I could smell old dead people. I have had it for years, so that's terrible that it smells like that. But yeah, then even them, suddenly, like, the prices, because they're like, all these fashion people keep coming in and taking our clothes for 12 bucks.

Anyway, she went into this Salvation Army to buy a couch. One was $300, which she said, I don't want to buy a really shitty couch for $300. I can't afford a $300 shitty couch. That's why I'm at the Salvation Army. There was a rug for 120, a pair of jeans for 150, another pair of jeans for 290 because they were designer. $290?

What kind of jeans? For jeans. Because you could literally buy some designer jeans for $300. I can't see the brand on them. But it's crazy. They just know the brands now that people pay really good money for. And so if you're someone who's chucking out designer clothes and you can't be bothered selling them and you take them to the Salvation Army,

they're picking them up and going, we'll get good money for this. And they're charging heaps and heaps and heaps. That's what I was thinking about. Like couches, surely like rich people in Queenstown, maybe not this time of the year because it would like get wet and be ruined so quickly. But like, you know, in really rich neighbourhoods when they do organic. Yeah.

And they put out like. Go for a drive And you're just like what's wrong with that Nothing Like yeah We just all sit and cheers there We were in Sydney once and my brother-in-law lived there And we'd just been like down to get some beers

And we were walking back up and it was organic And we saw like a near brand new barbecue And we were just like is this all like a prank? These Kiwis And then we just like started wheeling it away And no one ever said anything It was like a They were just like,

oh, it's taking up room or we don't need it or whatever. Yeah. Surely someone's going to put a couch on the side of the road. Well, the national manager, the general manager of the store hasn't said anything,

but the national manager is like reminding people where the money goes. It goes back into the community to help people in need, which is absolutely true. But like $300 for a pair of jeans, like just buy new ones. Well, that's the thing is like,

if you're going to Salvation Army to look for a bargain and to buy clothes, you don't want $300 jeans. You just go and buy $300 jeans. You're there to try to find a $20 pair of jeans that you can wear the hell out of. Anyway, I mean, and you can't even say it's inflation or that it's, you know, because of increased prices and stuff. People put it in a bag and drop it off to your store. You don't have to pay to get it there. I miss the old days when those places were run by 80-year-olds that didn't know, you know, what a brand was.

I remember when I moved out of my first flat, I had like a gross couch and I moved out of the house and my mum was like, we'll just call the Sally's and they'll come pick it up. And they came and they're like, no, we don't want that. It's gross. Ouch. Excuse me? Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I mean, give it a go, but don't be disappointed if you fail. That's another way of putting it. Well, I've always been a big. Try, try, try and fail and fail and fail and then just be like, F this. That's your life kind of motto. Yeah.

I've always been a big fan of managing expectations, not expecting too much. I expect the world. In life. I expect the world. Do you? Like anything. Movies is a perfect example.

Don't expect too much. Oh, yeah. No, I mean more sort of within myself and my greater life. Not so much watching a Batman. Don't expect too much from friends. I expect heaps from my friends. No, don't. They'll let you down and then you'll be angry at them

and then they won't be your friends anymore. Don't expect. Because you didn't manage your expectations. But you are getting what you're putting out and I am getting the same. So I expect everything and I expect a lot and I get it. Right. My life is 10 out of 10.

But then you hear about people that have dreamed big and then they don't achieve all they thought they would have by a certain age and then they think, what have I done wrong? And they've done nothing wrong. And they have a crisis. Yeah, they have a crisis and then they go on the internet and they get really nasty.

They do. That's basically everybody, right? Like everybody that was trying to tell you that they knew more than doctors were people that considered themselves quite smart and were like, well, why haven't I been offered all this stuff? Because I'm, in my opinion, quite a smart individual. And then they overcompensate by buying into all the nonsense and then they get so far down the rabbit hole

and it's a trap. So don't do that either. Manage it all. A study's backed you up along the lines of just don't try. Yeah, study has revealed that dreaming big and the disappointments that could follow have a negative impact on life satisfaction during early adulthoods.

So if you're not a pop star and you were young and you're like, I'm going to be the biggest pop star in the world. Yeah. And you're a tone deaf, pitchy. Wait, don't point at me. Don't point at me. You did point at Vaughn. You did point at me.

Well, sometimes you're here and you need to be here. And I'm down here. But, you know, this is, and being a parent, it's a fine balance between like like, saying to your kids, yeah, do it, give it a go. Yeah, that rules. Do this. It's a fine balance.

Yeah, having fun, that's the main thing. But then also you're not. And then being able to put the brakes on them before they go on, like, New Zealand Idol, because you know that they're going to be in the first episode and people are going to laugh at them. You don't want people laughing at your kids. But how do you tell little Timmy

that he's not getting into NASA's astronaut program? He doesn't even know the difference between there and there. Oh, God. And there. Yeah. Yeah. How are you telling little Timmy he's not going to be on it? And he's right.

There are aliens. But he writes, there are aliens. There are aliens. And the aliens belong to them. Yeah. And someone back at NASA HQ is like I don't know what he means Yeah

But it would be hard Like what do you do? Like you can't do like I want to be this Or I want to do this Yeah I know It's managing expectations I grew up with a mother

Who wasn't afraid to tell how it is Now at the time Sometimes I was like Ouch We had our very own Simon Cowell Yeah I'm grounded My parents blew smoke up my ass Yeah At the time, sometimes I was like, ouch. We had our very own Simon Cowell. Yeah. Right. I didn't.

I'm grounded. My parents blew smoke up my ass. Yeah. You can be whatever you want to be. And I said, I want to spend $40,000 on drama school. They said, do it. And it's all worked out. Yeah, it's worked out.

I'm famous. People recognise me at the post office. You still use the post office? She only goes there because they have the people that watch TV, the old people. Oh, yeah. They recognise you from the baking show. Yeah, I know you.

You're that baker. And I go, close enough, babe. Close enough. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Went to a weeknight talent show thing, a West Auckland showcase thing. Yep. I was light on details. I just knew I had to be there last night.

The worst thing about being a parent is having to go to all of these. No. I actually genuinely enjoyed it. Did you love it? Genuinely, I actually had a good time. That's honestly one of the only parts of parroting that is endearing to me. The show, yeah, but you've got big show mom energy. I do.

You've got like dance Tuesdays, music recital Wednesdays, marching on the weekends. Point your toes, darling, point your toes. And then on the car ride home, Mom, did I do something wrong? You certainly didn't do anything right. I'll try better. You'd be that mum if your kid was cast as a tree.

You'd be like demanding a better position in the play. You'd take home the tree costume and you would get a proper costume made so that someone's like, that tree's obviously going to do something. My mum did this. You'd actually hollow out a tree and put the kid

you'd put your kid in a tree hello we're to workshop it's Richard there please clear the schedule we've got a costume that needs designing my mum did this

when I was like eight years old we did Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat at Murtagh School in Eastbourne and everyone was wearing sacks

because we were all sort of you know back in the day and I was Potiphar's wife and my mum was like Potiphar's wife is not wearing a sack. So she made me this like purple and gold. Of course she did.

Oh my God. This would be you. This is problematic. And it needs to stop. You're shaming all the other children. I know. And then she made Sarah Darziel a fan. So Sarah Darziel had to fan me.

What? But Sarah Darziel was wearing a sack. She was wearing a hessian sack. She was already sweating more than you were. Yeah, I know. Because she was wearing a goddamn itchy sweaty sack. Potiphar's wife doesn't have to sweat. Wow.

She's the wife of the richest man on the Nile. Sarah, come here. Fan my daughter. So you would be your mum, basically. I would be my mum, absolutely. Times ten. So it was awesome. And it was, like I said before,

there was kids playing guitars, and I don't know, I don't hang around high school, so I haven't seen a kid playing a guitar for a while. I figured they were all bloody playing Roblox and Nintendos and stuff. Quite a grumpy old man over here. Why, they played a Super Groove song. These kids, they played some music that I knew.

Wow. Anyway, the absolute peak of it was a lady who was sitting in front of us. I think she had to go to the bathroom. Oh, yeah. So she snuck out between acts. Yeah, right. When she came back, the next act had started and it was dark again. So she couldn't see the way to get through the crowd.

And obviously it was like, I can't push back through my row. What I'll do is I'll nip down to the stage and i'll boost it across the front of the stage and come up the other side which was easier to get to her seat from oh yeah nice so she um bent over yeah to run across okay because she didn't want to be in front of the stage she didn't want to block the stage and it's kind of like i would say if i stood beside the stage it would maybe be hip height. Yeah, right. So she was shorter than me. Yeah. So she bent over and started running.

Scuttling. But then I saw it happen the very minute the fulcrum changed. And because she was bending over, her weight was forward. Yeah. And her legs had to run to keep up. And then she ran faster and faster and faster because her legs have got to stay under her body until her legs could not keep up with her body and she ate shit.

The whole crowd. It was like Roadrunner and Coyote get going. Yeah, right. Their legs looked like they're like, too much. Face plant. Was there a cathart? Arms went out. Oh, no.

No, but there wasn't a cathart because she was going so fast, she just had like skin like a rock. Right. Well, she was trying to get back before the next thing started. Well, they were in the midst of the. Oh, they were in the act. Oh, no. So everybody's eyes were on the stage and they just sort of.

Sliding into home. Didn't put their arms out. Just used their face as a break. Did all the kids stop? No. They just carried on like professionals? There was this gasp from everybody. And her best friend, rather than being like, oh, my God, are you okay?

Just burst out laughing. I feel like that's what I would do if it was you. Yeah, totally. So then she, the lady kind of gathers herself, stands up, is a bit like, whoa, I just absolutely ate it in front of this crowd, dusts herself off, comes up, sits next to

her friend who is like uncontrollably cry laughing at this stage, like can't hardly breathe. And she turns around to me, the lady that ate it, in front of everybody, she turns around to me with a little carpet burn on her face from where she used her face as a break and says

you better not talk about this on the radio tomorrow. And I said hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, I wouldn't dare. And her name was I don't dare. And her name was? I don't. It was. That part. Rise.

Absolutely stole the show, though. We thank her for her contribution to our show. It was fantastic. I wasn't going to, but then. It's too funny. Yeah. It really, like, on the drive home, I just started laughing again. Shade's like, lady falling over?

I was like, you bet, you bet. Play it. CDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Friday Flashback. Flashback. Flashback. Well, it's Vaughan's pick for Friday Flashback. The rules are each week it's got to be, when we take a turn picking,

it's got to be at least 10 years old and a banger. Yeah, I saw that this band was, band, group, dance duo, were coming to New Zealand at some stage soon. And I was like, I didn't even know you were still a thing. Okay. 1999, the song was released in 2004 and received the Fatboy Slim treatment. Yeah, I know this song.

You know this song? Which one are you playing? The 1994? Yes, it was, No, no, no. 2004. The remix. The remix. It's an absolute, like, gym class classic.

Like, if you do, like, group classes at the gym, you would have definitely shaked it, shook it, stepped it, wiggled it, push-upped it, pull-upped it, pumped it to this song. I would have thought it had charted higher. It only reached number 20 in New Zealand. Oh, okay. We did say that it had to be a banger. Is it a banger?

Slow burner. I think so. I think it is. It's a good song. It's a banger. I like it. I haven't figured it out. Let's just play it then.

From Groove Amada. Is this Groovers in the House? No, it's I See You Baby. Oh! Shakin' it ass. See You Baby. Oh. Shaking it ass. Shaking it ass. Shaking it ass.

It's your Friday flashback. Groover Marta, I See You Baby on ZM. I See You Baby. Shaking it ass. Shaking it ass. Shaking that ass. Shaking that ass. Shaking that ass. I see you, baby. Shaking that ass.

Shaking that ass. Shaking that ass. All right, don't touch me. Don't touch me. I see you, baby. Shaking that ass. Shaking that ass. Shaking that ass. I see you, baby.

Shaking that ass. Shaking that ass. Shaking that ass. All right, don't touch me. All Alright, don't touch me I see you baby I see you baby Shake that ass Shake that ass Shake that ass.

Shake that ass. Shake that ass. I see you, baby. Shake that ass. Shake that ass. Shake that ass. All right, don't touch me. Don't touch me. I see you, baby. Don't touch me.

Don't touch me Don't touch me Don't touch me I see you baby Shaking that ass I see you, baby. Shake that ass. Shake that ass. Shake that ass. I see you, baby. Shake that ass. Shake that ass. Shake that up. I see you, baby. Shake it up.

Shake it up. Shake it up. I see you, baby. Shake it up. Shake it up. Shake it up. I see you, baby. Shake it up.

Shake it up. Shake it up. All right, don't touch me. Shake it at ass. Shake it at ass. Shake it at ass. All right, don't touch me. It's your Friday flashback. Groove Armada, I See You Baby on ZM, Fleeche Vaughan and Hayley. It's nine past eight.

I see you, baby. Someone said... It wasn't my best work. Someone said I took my hearing aids out. It's not as... I remember it being up. Maybe that wasn't the Fatboy Slip. That was the one that we had in the system that got played at the time. I always thought it was more, yeah, more up and more pacing. Maybe not, though.

Yeah. Anyway, you can't win them all. Someone said take this song out the back of the farm and shoot it. Oh, what was the one? Did we play a Shania Twain? Yeah, we played the one that was in the system. Again, we're trusting the system. We shouldn't trust the system.

This song reminds me of me and my mum. My mum and her mates drunk at book club when I was like seven. The best part about it is all the parents that are like, yep, cool, got a three and a four-year-old in the back now singing, I see you, baby, shaking that ass. The minute it's got an ass or a bum or a fart reference in it, kids are like, add it to permanent memory. So you're welcome.

What was this at the time complained about? Like, you know, the people that always complained about South Park episodes? They added this to the Lisette song because you were shaking that thang. Yeah, that's what I said to Jared when he was finding me the version. I said, as long as it's not the shake and the thang version. Yeah. Oh, I hate that. It's 11 past eight.

I'm back. Yesterday, I got a colonoscopy. Welcome to the club, Fletch. Not anything up there lately? No. Well, this is the thing. Vaughn had sort of pre-warned me about the experience because you spend one day prepping the day before. That's the worst day.

I get a camera up my bum every day of the week rather than have to do the prep for it. You've got to drink this juice and it flushes you out. You drink the drink and it flushes you out and you wee out your bum for a while. And mine was very mild, I think, compared to the one you did. I had a better drink. Anyway, I went yesterday and it was all kind of fine.

And then you get into this, you know, you take off all your clothes. You put on one of those robes and a bonnet and some little boots. Yeah. How was the Thailand rash? Had that disappeared? It has gone. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

My expired cream that I gave you. Expired hydrocortisone. Absolutely cleared that up. So I wasn't embarrassed about the state back there. Yeah. Oh, Siri's talking to us all. Siri's like, why thanks? She's not talking about your anus, Siri.

Talk about mine. Anyway, so I went into the thing and they put an IV drip into your arm and then they put a blood pressure thing on the other arm and it's kind of all go. And then they sprayed a thing into my throat, because I was getting one in the throat, one up the bum. Oh, right, you had both hands. To have a good proper look.

And then as they turn you on their side, all I remember is, like, they sort of turned me on my side, and they were kind of bringing up all the cords and stuff and saying, like, all right, well, here we go. Like, you're going to feel really nice soon. And I was like, oh. And then I woke up in a different room yeah yeah yeah

you had propofol I had propofol that's the stuff that Michael Jackson had it is that he liked a bit too much and name a more successful musician

yeah so then oh wait my my next memory is me sort of touching my face and thinking it was

my mask and I was like why am I wearing my mask? But it was an oxygen mask. Oh, yeah. And then like reaching behind. I had all these claws and I was just causing a ruckus. I was just reaching for stuff.

And then the woman came in and was like, are you all right? And she was like, oh, you know, you're feeling all right. You're all good. And then I, for some reason, mentioned something about Bali. I said something like, she said, you'll be feeling nice and relaxed, just like you're on holiday. And I said, yeah. Well, I've just been in Bali.

She said, yeah, we know. And I was like, how do you know? And she said, well, you're very chatty. And I went, oh, what did I say? She said, well, you didn't say too much. One, you were trying to keep putting your arms above your head because that's how I sleep, with my arms like this. She said, but you've got all these cords attached to your arms. So I kept being like, ah were trying to keep putting your arms above your head because that's how I sleep with my arms like this. She said, but you've got all these cords attached

to your arms. I kept being like, trying to put my arms up. Two, I was telling her what a wonderful time I had in Bali. Yeah, right. And the third thing she said, you mentioned something about Ryan Phillippe's penis. Now this has been a hot topic of conversation around here. I would say ongoing

three weeks. I laughed so much when you said this in the group chat. I instantly was ongoing three weeks. And I instantly... I laughed so much when you said this in the group chat. I instantly was like, of course I did. Because, yes, you're right, Vaughn. For the last sort of month or so, it just came upon us that on Reddit there's this rumour that there was a picture of a celebrity member and then it was Ryan Phillippe's.

And it is... Heartthrob. 90s heartthrob. 90s heartthrob. Still a very good looking man. Very good looking man. Very good looking man. And good lord.

And so we looked at it. It's magnificent. I'll say it. Purely plutonically. It's the sort of PNI5 that you... Yeah, right. You sort of aspire to as a young lad and fall short of when you turn 22

and you hear it's not getting any bigger. Yeah, so at various points, we'll drop it into conversation. I think you were showing people drunk at the awards. Right, and I had a few drinks at the radio awards and I was showing Ross Boss as well and he laughed. And then so to wake up and hear that as I'd gone to sleep, I had said to them, you simply must, the words were, you simply

must check out Ryan Phillippe's penis. And you have no recollection of this. Not one little bit. Oh my, they must hear some things. I went to sleep, she said I was chatty. Vaughn, you were chatty as well. Yeah. When you were under the same drug. But I have zero idea of what I said. Nothing. And that's what they say, they say you were chatty as well. Yeah. When you were under the same drug. But I have zero idea of what I said.

And that's what they say. They say you will not remember a thing. So you're still awake. No, you're like, you're still asleep. So you get the spaghetti drug. That's the one, the propofol's the painkiller. It relaxes you. It puts you to sleep.

But then the other thing they inject you with stops your brain from being able to create new memories. So you don't remember a thing. Yeah, right. But they have the ability to, especially if they're going in the mouth and the bum, they have the ability to kind of like maneuver you and ask you to do things. How did you tell them about Ryan Phillippe's penis

if you had a tube down your throat? They did that first. Oh, then. And then they took it out. So it was more comfortable. Up she goes. Yeah, yeah, wiped it off. Wiped it on his T-shirt and then went up.

And then at that point I apparently said. Ryan Filipe, you simply must. You simply must check out Ryan Filipe's Facebook. The Reddit three. Absolutely mortified. By the way, I've been waiting to tell you. Now that this is out of my throat, I can tell you about this magnificent member. You had flirted with the doctor when you went under.

I told the doctor he was very good looking. I remember Telling him that Because I had to relax his stuff Yeah right And I said Oh you're a good looking man Yes

And I have told them To look up the celebrity Dick pic basically And so we want to hear from you What did you say When you were under Or when you were In a medical procedure

Under some kind of Anesthetic Yeah like high on medical drugs, what did you say? High on medical drugs, what did you say to the doctors, the nurse, your family? Because they told me afterwards that even yesterday when I got home, even though I was lucid, they were like, you might still forget some

of the things you say while you're at home. So they're like, don't call your family and tell them all your secrets. Don't do any online shopping or banking. Don't make any huge decisions. Don't buy a house. They were like, don't do anything major. Because you'll just forget it. And then you'll be like, what's this house? I was going to say, I like how the option

was things you might forget you did. Buy a house. I went and saw the Justice of Peace. I filled out the 85 page contract with the bank. Alright, well, give us a call. 0800 DALS at M. You can text as well, 9696. What did you say when you were under medical drugs?

Maybe you got picked up from the dentist getting the wisdom teeth. Oh, yeah, that's a classic. Yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, yesterday during Hayley's colonoscopy, high on medical drugs, she told the staff about a Reddit thread that some say is 90s, 2000s,

heartthrob actor Ryan Phillippe, the ex-husband of... I will stop you right there. Apparently we're saying his name wrong. Someone said, as someone who was, I would say, Ryan's number one fan in the 90s. They say posters all over the bedroom. We're saying his name wrong. It's Philippe. Philippe, Ryan Phillippe. No, it's not. I always thought it was Phillippe We're saying his name wrong. It's Philippe. Ryan Philippe.

No, it's not. I always thought it was Philippe. We've always said Philippe. Philippe, like French. Ryan Philippe. Okay, well anyway, Ryan Philippe. Yeah, it's Philippe. Kick the ball like I told you, Philippe. No, it's Billy. Kick the ball like I told you, Billy. Isn't it Billy? No, it was kick the ball like I

told you. Come on, Philippe. It was a yogurt ad, wasn't it? Boom, and then that kid rockets it in and blows it through the back. It's French for yogurt, but it's not. Well, most of my French comes from your play. Anyway, high on medical drugs, Hayley, you told the medical staff that they should find this Reddit post that people are saying is Ryan Phillippe's Willie. That was the news I wanted to share with them in my moment. That was in the forefront of my brain.

They won't let you take your phone into the operating theatre. Right. Spoil sports. But how much fun would it just be to hit record on audio notes? Oh, yeah. So you had a full recollection of what you said. Or is that like waking a sleepwalker? Is that traumatic?

Yeah. Yeah, because you don't remember saying it. Yeah. So you wonder what full recollection of what you said. Or is that like waking a sleepwalker? Is that traumatic? Yeah. Yeah, because you don't remember saying it. Yeah. So you wonder what else you've done. So we want to know what you've said high on medical drugs. Yes. Anesthetic of some sort. Sarah, what did you say?

Good morning, Sarah. Sarah. Sarah, I think she's on. Sarah, good morning. Sarah, good morning. Sarah, hello, Sarah. Sarah, we're just going to Sarah, good morning Sarah, hello, Sarah Sarah, we're just going to Sarah, I'm here

Sarah's gone Lisa, good morning Hi What did you say? Just long time listener First time caller Yes Ding the bell

Oh yeah Welcome, welcome Welcome, welcome Christ, welcome What did you say? The drugs topic that got her here. Yeah. Yeah.

We probably got her. So what did you say hi on medical drugs? So I was getting my arm, like, put back in the right place, so they put me under. And, like, just before I went under, I was like, are you guys even doctors? I don't think you're actually allowed to do this to me. No. And I was, like, calling for my mum. I was like, mum, I don't know if you want allowed to do this to me I was like no

and I was like calling for my mum I was like mum I don't know if you want to go and do any more and stuff and they're like

you have to your arm needs to be fixed and I was like no call the police and it was just putting up a fight you thought you were being abducted by aliens

or something and I was like it's a bit too late they've already given me the anaesthetic and stuff it's like when you go it's horrible when you go bungee jumping

and you just quickly check that they're a qualified person. And their big joke is, I'm qualified first day on the job. Oof! And they push you off. Lisa, thanks for your call. Apparently Sarah is back with us now. Good morning, Sarah. Good morning. Sorry, technical issues. No technical issues, it's fine.

What did you say when you were hiring medical drugs? Well, I've come back to a room of four women after having a procedure where I was completely under general anaesthetic. And the next day, one of the women in the bed opposite me said, oh, my God, I've got to tell you something. And I'm like, oh, okay. And she says, look, I don't know what was happening,

but when you came out of recovery and came back to the room, what you were saying was unreal. She said, we didn't know, you know, we thought you were talking like a porn star. We didn't know whether. Embarrassing. They said it was very hot, but it was really disgusting. Sarah! You tapped into some sort of inner primal sex demon.

I think so. And apparently there was another woman in the other bed and her parents were visiting and the mother was saying ooh, she's not a very nice girl. Sarah, you are a nice girl. Amazing, Sarah.

Thank you for your call. Kelly, this was your husband that was high on medical drugs after a surgery? Yeah, it was his first knee surgery in Wellington, and he woke up and I said, hey, hon, how you feeling? He goes, the nurse touched my dick. What? Wasn't expecting that. And then he proceeded to show me how she touched it. Oh, he's like this.

And it was a quick swiping motion. And I went, oh, my God, put him back to sleep. Oh, my God. That's the nurse that touched me on the penis. Wait, was the nurse standing there as well? No, but when she came in, because he was like, oh, you know, she's so hot, she wants to touch me. I'm like, oh, my God.

She came in and she had, like, the real yellow teeth with the pink lipstick on her teeth. Oh, yeah, cute. Oh, yeah. That's what he's into. That's what he's into. I like how all these years later, you still haven't forgiven that woman for your husband

thinking she was hot. Anyway, that yellow tooth lipstick bitch. Kelly, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Anyway, that yellow toothed lipstick bitch. Kelly, thanks for you call some messages in. Oh my God, there's so many of them. So many of them are good. When I had a quad bike accident

the ambulance came and gave me ketamine. When I was high as a kite I ended up telling the paramedic that I was going to chop off my husband's penis and feed it to the ducks.

And then I started going quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. So I don't know if she was the duck. St. John's should rig up some cameras and do the best of the year for this. They should. Blew their face.

My dad, apparently when he was getting his vasectomy, asked the doctor while he was down there how hard it would be to give him a penis implant at the same time for a bit more size. Oh my God. I'm sure they get that quite often. Yeah. I told a gynecologist while high on the relaxi drugs

that had the most massive hands I've ever seen and there was no way he was going to be able to fit a finger in there. Oh my god. I was in recovery and apparently I was cold. The nurse said I'll go get you something warm. And I said, you better bring me back Sonny Bill Williams. And then made a series of very inappropriate noises and motions.

Motions? Bring me back Sonny Bill. I love it. Why is everyone so horned up? Everyone is so horny. This propofol or these drugs just absolutely brings it out. That's great. Well, this one's not horny.

I had my wisdom teeth removed in the minute. They took them out. I started screaming, put them back, put them back, my sweet wisdom. Oh, my God, there's so many of them. I woke up from a colonoscopy and FaceTimed my partner in the waiting room and said, you need to come get me. I don't trust her. While eyeballing the nurse who was standing literally right next to me.

She tried to offer me a sandwich. I turned my head away. I said, she's trying to poison me now. She's trying to poison you. I was in labour with my daughter. They gave me the... The gas. We'll know no, the anaesthetic because I was getting a C-section.

The doctor had a very sexy Irish accent. I told him he was hot and we should go on a date and maybe he can put the next one in me. All while my husband was standing right there holding my hand. So many...

Does that make you feel a little bit better? Yeah, I actually feel so much better. Thank you, New Zealand. Oh, my God. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Today's Fact of the Day is about the Commonwealth Games, which starts now.

It's on. It's underway. Oh, exciting. The Queen's not attending. Aye. They announced that a while back. Did they? Yeah.

Is it in London? Birmingham. Birmingham. Birmingham. Over the cheeky blinders. Peaky blinders. It's not cheeky. They are cheeky boys, though. They the cheeky blinders Peaky blinders Not cheeky They are cheeky boys though

They play cheeky though So yeah Kicking off 2022 In Birmingham The last ones Were in the Gold Coast So they're kind of I'm not saying COVID's over

I'm not one of those people That's going to say Post pandemic Because I'm very well aware That the numbers That I still get The daily reports of Are still right up there

But it's kind of got A leg each side, doesn't it? The 2020. So the last ones were in the Gold Coast. Looking forward to it, actually, because we always get a few more medals because all the big countries that are republics can't compete. Yeah. But today's fact of the day is there's only two cities

that have hosted the Commonwealth Games twice. Sydney? No. Wellington. Sydney is hosted once. It was hosted back in 1938. And they haven't hosted again since. Wow, okay.

Wellington has never hosted the Commonwealth Games. It is a New Zealand city, though. Auckland. Auckland, correct. 1950 and 1990. I remember the 1990 Commonwealth Games. Yeah. I was a young fella.

You're a young lad. But I remember, yeah, people would catch the train up from Waikato to Auckland to go to like various Commonwealth Games events. Where? Where were the, what big stadiums? All over the place. I remember there was one at Mount Smart. There was some aspect of it at Mount Smart.

That old stadium that was below the War Museum in Auckland and Maine that's apartments now. What was that called? That was called... Carlore Park. Carlore Park. Yeah. That's where the league there.

Yeah, most of the parks and stuff. Wow. Yeah. So the next Commonwealth Games will be in Victoria, in Melbourne, Australia. Yeah. Australia. Yeah. Using the whole thing there. The other Victoria, in Melbourne, Australia. Yeah. Australia. Yeah.

That's in the whole thing there. The other city that's hosted it twice is Edinburgh in Scotland. So they hosted it in 1970 and 1986. Do you know? And I will say it's in the news. Our government's saying that they are looking at putting a bid in for the future. Oh, really? For games back in New Zealand.

As you say, Wellington's not had a turn. No, but I don't think they've got enough. Enough space. Enough space for it. There's the cake turn. Enough. And the weather's pretty unpredictable. Can't beat it on a good day.

Can't beat it on a good day. Yeah, but if it's this time of the year, not a lot of good days. No. It would have to be somewhere where it was warm. It would be in our summer months. There's a bit of space. Timaru. Yeah.

So much space. You could bowl it. Yeah. Is wall months there's a bit of space Timaru yeah so much space you could bowl it yeah is wallaby hunting still a commonwealth sport yeah skeet shooting wallabies skeet shooting wallabies

yeah that's a commonwealth that'll go down super well and I know exactly where Waimati there's heaps out there they're predators aren't they I also did not know this until

researching the commonwealth games that there was a short lived commonwealth winter games oh okay yeah until Switzerland left and then we didn't have researching the Commonwealth Games, that there was a short-lived Commonwealth Winter Games. Oh, okay. Yeah, until Switzerland left, and then we didn't have anywhere that could be reliable for snow. They tried it, and they were going to have a,

so it was 1958, 1962, and 1966, all in St. Moritz, and Switzerland, Moritz is where they make the ice creams. And then they were thinking about having one in India in 2010, but then pulled the plug on it before it got too far down the track. God, the British Empire certainly did love taking over warm countries, didn't they? Have you been to London? Well, not right now. It's a bad example because it's like a million degrees, but, you know.

Yeah. Miserable and wet. They were pretty keen on sunny, warm spots. Yeah. So today's fact of the day, the Commonwealth Games, which starts today in Birmingham, there's only two cities that have hosted it twice, Edinburgh in Scotland and Auckland, New Zealand.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do you ever get a little bit tired of life? Like you're not really happy but you don't want to die. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. I don't know why I do these dating tips. I haven't been on a date since my first one with Aaron. Yeah, which was a long time ago. Nearly 12 years ago.

We're trying to stop the spread of monkeypox. I don't think we should give Fletcher's dating advice. Yeah, I know. Everybody be out there. Ticking time bomb. Absolute ticking time bomb. Anyway, so a dating expert has shared on the talk, and I bring it to you now

here on radio, the very best chat up lines to use on Tinder, they surveyed a number of people about what they use, what's successful, what sparks the most exciting conversation. So this is from Tinder, but I mean any dating app you'd imagine would be fine to work on? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay, so the first one is, and this is wild to me, you look like my future ex-wife. I like that. See, that's funny. That's funny. You look like my future ex-wife. Just acknowledging that divorce rates 50% most of the time.

You're being realistic. I tried this once introducing Shada as my first wife. Yeah. How did that go? Not well. Do you like that? Not well. Don't do that again.

It kind of shows that you're a bit playful. You've got a sense of humour. But then also, if you got one of these lines, would you just think someone's copying, pasting from a list that they've found on the internet like you just have? Yeah, probably. But would you let them have it? You admire their effort.

Okay. Yeah, fair call. To do a Google. The next one is, hey, trouble. Hey, trouble. Hey, trouble. Kind of cutesy. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it reminds me of, you know, things your aunties and uncles would say to you when you walked in. Oh, here's trouble. Yeah. So I don't know that that's particularly sexy for me, but you've got to sort of make a little wink maybe at the end. Yeah, okay.

Hey, trouble. Let's get a little bit naughty. You look like you're having a stroke when you do that. You've got quite dry eyes today. They're sticking. There's a lot to unpack with that one. The final one is it's cold, let's couple up. Those are the best ones they surveyed?

That's terrible. Yeah. That's a terrible one. It's cold, let's couple up. That seems weird. And then the last one is, you seem like my kind of girl. You seem like my kind of girl. Would that work on you?

You seem like my kind of girl. No. No. I'd be like, I'm engaged to a very big boy. I don't need this. I was imagining that you weren't. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you weren't, would that work on you? Hi. You look like my kind of girl. I'm confused. I would say I'm more than just my appearances. Yeah, sure. You shallow piece of work. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Grab the podcast on iHeartRadio. It's nine to nine. It's time for final rankings. You could play the jingle. Play the jingle. You were congratulating yourself. This is what just happened. He said...

Was that company synergy? Did you hear the company synergy? I heard the company synergy. I was waiting for you to say something about the company synergy. He looks to the producers and puts his hands out like, I'm the man and misses the intro. Don't make me do it live. I was waiting for the company synergy.

Tie your belt and pull up your socks, Fletcher. It's the final ranking. Look at the little jingle. Look at the little jingle. Well, Friday rankings today, we're going to debate our favourite fizzy drinks. Do calories count? No. Ginger beer.

Yo! Do calories count? No. Ginger beer. Oh! Okay, mate. I drank so much ginger beer. When I saw you drinking the little cans of ginger beer, crikey, I was jealous over here and non-ginger beer. I love ginger beer, but Jesus, it's sugar. It's sugary, yeah. That's the problem.

That's why I... Disregard. Yeah, I'm a go-to, like Coke Zero, no sugar would be my go-tos. If I do, but are we doing sparkling water? Oh, my God. You said fizzy. Turn his mic off. You said fizzy. I don't know which one's yours.

Turn his mic off. You said fizzy. Shut up. You said fizzy. Oh, fine, I'll go with kombucha then. No! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. A good kombucha.

We're talking about lab-grown artificial. Absolutely. Your Sprites, your Cokes, your Pepsis, your Fantas, your Dr Pepper even, your Iron Brew if you're in Scotland. I've never had an Iron Brew. Oh, my God. I've got my number one. Golden Circle Creaming Soda.

I knew there was one of us. I knew there was someone in our mix. Keep my mic on. I knew there'd be someone. I'd come across one day. I always there was one of us. I knew there was someone in our mix. Keep my mic on. I knew there'd be someone I'd come across one day. I always see people drinking it and I'm like, yuck. It is bright green and it tastes like ice cream float.

Golden Circle Creaming Soda number one. I mean, that's good. And you can only buy it from dairies. Yeah, they don't sell it for real. I'm really sorry. What was its original purpose? Creaming soda. I'm really sorry. What was its original purpose? Creaming soda. I don't know.

It was just when I drunk at primary school, there was always creaming soda. Remember, Golden Circle did that drink that was called SARS? Do you remember that drink? It didn't age well, did it? Yeah. Maybe don't drink that. What else did Golden Circle...

Golden Circle, sort of the unsung hero of the fizzy drink market. Are we including jolly drinks? Yes, absolutely. At Christmas only. They're a Christmas drink. Or a birthday. Yeah. Okay, so, I mean, what are you going?

Ginger beer? That's got to be in the top three for all of us. I'm going Golden Circle Creaming Soda number one. You are unbelievable. Ginger beer. Thank you, Carl Wayne's on board. Ginger beer number two. I Carween's on board. Ginger beer, number two. I do love a ginger ale.

Oh, but I think ginger ale and ginger beer, same umbrella. No, they're so different. No, they're not. They're very similar. Ginger beer's the better ginger. Yeah. Okay, then I'll go vanilla Coke. What are you doing?

You are just out of control. Golden Circle Creaming Soda, ginger beer, vanilla Coke. You're making me question ginger beer now because your other two choices, I'll say it, are abhorrent. Oh, my God. They are abhorrent. It's abhorrent. Vanilla Coke rolls.

No, vanilla Coke was paint stripper. Oh, my God. It was nasty. What are you? Mountain Dew. You know what I had? I had a little something recently and I was like, oh, my God, it took me back to the 1990s.

I'd probably go Coke Zero or Coke No Sugar or even a Pepsi Max. Love a Pepsi Max. You're a cola boy. Any of the no sugars. And then I would go ginger beer. And then I would go... No one's hitting the Sprite?

A raspberry. A raspberry. Who does... Pams. No, who did raspberry back in the day in the cans? Miranda. No one's hitting the Sprite? A raspberry. Who does? Pam's. No, who did raspberry back in the day in the cans? Marinda. No, it wasn't Marinda.

Okay, passion fruit Marinda has entered the conversation. Passion fruit Marinda has strutted right in here shaking its ass. Schweppes. Schweppes. Okay. Duet. Yes, duet. Schweppes sparkling duet.

A fine beverage. Yeah. Holy moly. Now I've got a list of drinks I want to have over the weekend. Miranda. If calories don't count, the sugar and the rot in the teeth don't count, it's got to be ginger beer. Yeah.

Fanta. You can't go past the Fanta. Yeah. And passion fruit Miranda. God. Fanta. You can't go past the Fanta. Yeah. And passion fruit marinda. God. I remember. You're calling my choices trash. And you've got marinda in there. Well, you're abhorrent.

Passion fruit marinda, baby. Passion fruit marinda is abhorrent as well. It's disgusting. I remember pre-pandemic being in America. And I think it was like a burger place. And they had like one of those fountain machines. But it was touchscreen. And you could make

like there were so many flavours you could have like a Coke or a Coke Zero and then add raspberry or lime or lemon or anything

but we're talking like you just gotta get it from a can you gotta get it from a can because otherwise it's raspberry Coke all the way

well it's anything but Miranda passion fruit surely okay so just some feedback this is generally we get it wrapped up this has been quite an

impassion. It has been. A lot of messages in. Some messages in. Golden Circle Creaming Soda is amazing. And The Market. You know the market.co.nz? Yeah. They sell cases of 24. I've never seen those things other than single. I've never seen them in... I'm on here. I'm on. Someone said,

Hayley, you are my soul friend. Thank you. SARS was Sarsaparilla. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what they called their sarsaparilla. Oh, my God. 24 pack, 26 bucks. A decart. A decart.

Coming home with me. A decart. A decart. Coming home with me. I counted 79 all rights today, Fletcher, but that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count?

Oh, yeah. 79 of those, too. All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? Oh, yeah. 79 of those, too. All right, well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.