ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 2nd February 2023

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

Top 6: IG Spots  Same Boyfriend Facebook Page  Prime Minister, Chris Hipkins!  What should we ask Ed?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Drive through and get a cup of barista-made McCafe coffee on the go. God, he's absolutely slaughtered that. I... Get a...

What do you call those vessels in which you consume a hot beverage? Cup. Cup. Get a cup of delicious. We got there. My phone's ringing. Hello? Hello, Ronald McDonald?

You're pulling the show sponsorship. Oh, no. Over a long pause. Please. It was bloody unprofessional. It was a pregnant pause and I apologise. Yeah. I'm going to tell everybody about Grimace if you don't.

Oh, we're back on? Sponsorship's back. We're back on. Sponsorship's back on. Thank you, Ronald. Bye. I'm going to tell everybody about Grimace if you don't. Oh, we're back on? Sponsorship's back. We're back on. Sponsorship's back on. Thank you, Ronald. Bye. Thank you. That was head of McDonald's marketing, Ronald McDonald.

Oh, thank God. Now, on yesterday's show, you would have heard that we talked about who's been to the most countries in the world. Yeah. You worked out that you'd been to 40. 40. Exactly. Yeah.

And then they told us about this app called Bean and I went on it and I selected all the countries Vaughan tried to count Rarotonga three times

because he keeps going back he can't do that oh I did not get to count how many times he's been to the same one no no Jesus so that takes my gold coast

from seven to one yeah it really does I sort of feel so well travelled but I've been to a lot of places in our place But I've been to a lot of places In our place

Like I've toured around England Or like been around Italy So my number was 22 Some surprises on there Oman Because you went for marching Went for marching And then you did spend a small time in Oman

Married to a sheik Shake He was a sheik, as I recall. Sheik. Sheik, sheik. He was a sheik sheik. He was a sheik. He was tre sheik. Tre sheik sheik.

Yes. Like the way he wore, so sheik. And you just fled the country. Yeah. New Caledonia. Have you been there? Yeah, bonjour, bonjour. I'm in the Pacific Islands.

Was that a school holidays parents taking you in the 90s, 2000? No, no, this was a high school French trip. What? They did this. Are you kidding me? This was some horse shit. Yeah, ours went to Vanuatu. Oh.

Because that was French, wasn't it? That was a French colony. I think so. I think they do a little bit. Who's Bora Bora? That's Tahiti. That's of Tahitiiti which is also French. If the school trip

goes to Bora Bora the teachers are taking the piss. They just want a holiday. Yeah it was so sweet. Our school we went to like Auckland on a field trip

like that was as exciting as it got from Taranaki. I will say as part of May 22 you've got Vatican City so that's just like in the middle of Yeah but it's still

it's a country. It's still a country. It counts. It's still a country. Yeah, but it's still a country. It counts. It's still a country. Yeah, I mean, it's quite fun to find this out and to see it and be like, it's good. You know, like I've just makes me want to get back out on the road, man. I want to get back out on the road. Yeah.

What's the country you most want to go to? Both of you. If budget wasn't a... Budget's not an... Iceland. Really? I'd love to go for a look Okay Yeah I think it's a fascinating place

But a lot of people say it's very Because I'd love to go as well And in winter I want to go in winter Yeah But people say it's very similar to New Zealand And a lot of people go from New Zealand And they say

Eh I've had people say Eh Like cool But like It's just New Zealand Yeah I'm not sure where I'd want to go.

I want to go somewhere crazy, like Antarctica or something. Yeah, I really, I think Antarctica is where I'd want to go. Yeah, but a continent, not a country. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I want to add to my list. So you wouldn't, you'd be able to say you stepped on the continent, but you're not adding another country.

I haven't done South America. Oh, yeah. Which you've just, you know. That's so cool. Yeah, I haven't done anything in South America. I haven't done south america oh yeah which you've just you know it's so cool yeah i haven't done anything in south america i haven't done south america in this life but in my previous oh yeah iterations here on earth i i did i was a conquistador a conquistador i did terrible things okay i did terrible terrible things in south america i'm not proud of them. Okay. But I did them. What was your weapon? A spear.

A spear? Not a sword? Not a sword. I thought it would have been a sword. No, it was a shield and a spear where the spear had a hook on it. Okay. The details are slightly fuzzy. I don't remember the name of the weapon.

Right. But I remember poking it at people. Okay. A lot of people. Right. So you'd land in another country and- And poke them with the spear. Oh, yeah, right.

And say, give us your country. Right. right and they'd say we don't speak spanish i'm sorry we don't speak yeah and i'd say well this is the problem with you people who aren't from spain yeah you don't speak spanish you'd spare them and i'd stab them okay so you've actually been to a lot of countries so many countries i didn't know we were counting past lives neither Neither did I because I was Cleopatra. Well, that means you've been to Egypt. I've been to Egypt. You've been to Egypt. In my previous life, I was actually a flight attendant in the 60s and 70s.

Yikes. Well, we didn't include touchdowns that you didn't explore. So I didn't put Germany in there or ones that I didn't get out of the plane and have a good time. Well, when you were Cleopatra. No, no, no. In my real Modern Hayley Jane Right I didn't include

Airports I've touched down No your transfers Don't count Because I did a lot of Asia when I was Genghis Khan's Right hand man In a previous life

Is this before Or after You were his Press secretary It was It was Before Right

1400s Conquistador Yeah Wow Yeah it was his press secretary Not a lot of arguing Not a lot of arguing With Gangu

And if any of the media Had many press conferences If any of the media Got offside You'd just sword them Wouldn't you Yes you would Yes you would

Yeah Because I had a sword That time Yeah but not a pokey stick Not a pokey stick I'd have sword a horse And a shield that we use As a walk

Right Yes Gosh We saw some places Again I don't want to talk about The atrocious things we did Yeah Because that was past life you

Not you currently Yes You're not responsible for that We're not going to cancel you out On behalf of your past life Not current Vaughn's problem No I mean I've got to live with

The fuzzy memories Yeah But Yeah In my past life I was was the couch on Friends. Were you? Were you? At the Central.

So you've actually had Matthew Perry sit on your face. What about those years of time where you existed as both the couch and yourself, as you would have been born when the couch was on Friends? It was. It was replaced. Crazy, man. I would, like like come in and out i really kid yeah so i'm at school i'm not at school where am i my parents would be like where

the hell have you been and i was like i don't know i don't know and then i got hypnotized and they took me back and they said when you leave your body here on earth yeah you go back to your previous life as the couch on friends so were you the couch on friends or were you the tree that was made into the couch on friends no it was you the couch on Friends or were you the tree that was made into the couch on Friends? No, I was the finished product. You were the finished product. Post-craftsmanship. Post-crafting. Post-sale or

sort of when that last staple went in. Season two, season two on. Right, you were on. I was the couch. It was wild, man. The stories I could tell. Matthew Perry was drunk. You'd be able to smell it with your couch nose. Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Sam.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. That is sad news about the Lantern Festival in Auckland for the fourth year. Yeah. It won't be going ahead. I'll tell you who does a good Lantern Festival. I'll tell you. Who?

Christchurch. Do they? It's along be going ahead. I'll tell you who does a good lantern festival. I'll tell you. Who? Christchurch. Do they? It's along the Avon. And some of it's in the Avon. In the Avon? And it's around and in the Avon. It's a good lantern festival. Do you think the Avon is swim safe?

Oh, well, we've been in it. We've floated down a portion of it. And remember I got a cut in my foot And I was like well this is how And you caught duck Yeah I caught duck malaria Yeah duckleria Oh my god not duckleria And his feet turned into webbed duck

Is that why they look like that And then sometimes if I see a gaggle I quack But I can't control it You should see him go ham on a piece of bread Even though I'm yelling, no, no, don't feed him bread. I gobble it up. I gobble it up.

He's a gobbler. He's a gobbler. Yeah. Oopsie. That is sad, though. RIP the Lantern Festival. It is. But I mean, people are dealing,

I don't mean to sound heartless. It's at the Lantern Festival, but people are dealing with a lot at the moment. Yeah, it is. The Lantern Festival but people are dealing with a lot at the moment yeah it is it's uh I know the Lantern Festival being cancelled is sad

but it is down the list of sad things I've seen in the last week yeah the homes teetering on cliffs like people throwing out their entire house content

teetering on cliffs it's slipping off cliffs sliding down cliffs yeah it's horrible out there and this morning there was a detour

so we're all going through our own bits you know I won't say how Vaughan managed a detour, so we're all going through our own bits, you know. I won't say how Vaughan managed the detour. Because you got a ride today. I did get a ride today. You ended up being no earlier than you normally are. No, I was later.

You were later. But I was early. Only by like two minutes. Like two minutes. Yeah. But he would have been the same as usual. We were here nearly half an hour before I am. You're normally here. No, that is not true. We wouldn't have been if it as usual. We were here nearly half an hour before I am. You're normally here. No, that is not true. We wouldn't have been if it wasn't for me detouring the detour. Right, so you ignored the detour.

He took the law into his own hands. Oh, yeah. He's an arrogant white man. I'm a sheriff. I'm a sovereign citizen. I'm a sheriff. I won't be vaccinated. I don't need a license.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He prepped me. It's funny you say most arrogant white man. He said what you are about to witness is the most arrogant thing you'll ever see. And it was. And it was. But it inconvenienced nobody.

My arrogance is victimless. Right. It's just arrogant. Right, okay. I drove the wrong way down the road. I went through some cones. I cut across the street. I mean it's 5am.

Who cares? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I wouldn't have done it if it had put's 5 a.m. Who cares? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I wouldn't have done it if it had put a whole lot of people out. Now, coming up on the show, Zero sleeps to go for those going to Ed Sheeran's Wellington show tonight. That's us included. That's us included. Sky Stadium.

Coming up, I've got a list of the biggest touring bands in the world, like an artist, and who's making the most money. Ed Sheeran is on that list. And you are not going to believe the amounts of money that some of these bands and artists are making. And the Wiggles on this list? Or are they not included children?

I just don't think they do the volume of people and shows that these artists are doing. Like you think tonight, Ed Sheeran is packing out the cake tin. Whereas the Wiggles do like a little town hall or a, you know, they do like

two or three hundred people. We saw them at Spark Arena. It was packed. I mean, that was amazing. It was. So we've got the richest touring bands and artists coming up

on the show, including Ed Sheeran. The top six soon? Yes. Today's top six is the Instagram bubble spot. The North Island

has been listed as one of the most Instagrammable places in the world. North Island of New Zealand. Are they really? Are they really? Are they really? Really? They don't have a swinging love seat

looking out over a beautiful sunset. They don't have a Bali seat. They don't have a Bali seat. Oh my God, how sad is I? I saw when I was on holiday, someone had done like a hug together, a Bali seat. And I was like, you've tried.

You've really tried. Bless them. It's got to look nice. If I owned an ice cream shop, I'd definitely try to huck up a barley swing just because, you know, you stop, you get the thing

and then you see the ice cream place. Yeah. I think if I had an ice cream store, I'd get like a caricature and I'd do holes in the faces so people could poke their heads through.

That's always fun. That's a fun one too. Yeah, that's a fun one. That's a fun one. What about the top six fun. Yeah, that's a fun one. It's a fun one. What about the top six Instagrammable spots on the North Island that they missed? All right, next on the show, though. Basically, if you and Hayley were parents, you would have done this thing that I'll tell you next.

Oh, dear. It involves travel. Not have had the kid? Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Oh, we forgot to mention, BT Dubs, Chippy's coming in. Chippy. Chippy.

Oh, we've got Chippy. Yes, well, we can't be the mouthpiece for the left if we haven't got the Prime Minister, the new left-leaning Prime Minister on the show. Of course. The Prime Minister, Chris Hipkins, joins us after seven this morning on the show. We'll ask him about what they're doing to help people that have been

hit by the floods. Do we bow? You curtsy. I curtsy, you bow. You curtsy. I'm wearing a dress. A small frock. Yeah. I might curtsy too. It's 2023. You can do whatever you want. You can. I might just dance for a bit.

Don't do that. Don't bump and grind on him. Yeah, okay. I was going to get I might bump and grind. Should we all forever surround him and bump and grind? I think we back it up and bump and grind. You wouldn't know what hit him. Yeah, no. Okay. Well, if you've ever travelled with

children, you're very well aware of the evil looks you get when your poor infant during the descent back down to ground starts crying because they've got sore ears. And you wish upon the people like Fletch and Hayley, they look at you and go, that they could experience the sore ears without the explanation that your darling child is also experiencing.

I'm usually pretty good, but I have sat next to Fletch. And he shushed them? He has gone, shh. To like a crying baby. A baby that's far too young to understand. I know. Yeah, not shushing the mum or the dad. Yeah, but it's more for the parents.

Why can't they put that little thing in its mouth? Dummy. Yeah, that thing. Well, not all babies have those, and sometimes they spit them out. Oh my God, you're a monster. It was the most embarrassing thing. I wanted to slide out of the, and sometimes they spit them out. Oh, my God, you're a monster. It was the most embarrassing thing. I wanted to slide out of the seat and be like, I don't know this. I did a feminine shush, too, because I wanted Hayley to be blamed for it.

Yeah, but it looked like I was shushing. And this is a shush, shush, shush, shush. This is a shush you give a baby. A shush, shush, shush, shush. Like a calming shush. A bit of white noise. Not a shush. Like a hissing snake.

Also, what are you thinking? Like a predator. Psss. Yeah, it's. Like a hissing snake. Also, what are you thinking? Like a predator. Psh. Yeah, it's more of a psh. Can you show us the difference between a masculine shush and a feminine shush? That's mask. That's mask.

And I'm like, psh. Oh, my God. What was that? It sounded like a Disney snore. I've got to work on my feminine shush to blame you. That's not believable. I'm like, psh. And then, like, look at you like, oh, that was I've got to work on my feminine shush to blame you. That's not believable. And then, like, look at you like, oh, that was a bit rude.

Oh, my God. I mean, we're flying to Ed Sheeran today, so, I mean. Oh, my God, I'm changing my seat. I want nothing to do with him. You are sitting next to me? No, move. Oh, yeah, okay. Move. Well, there's trouble in Tel Aviv.

Oh, okay. There's normally quite a bit of trouble in Tel Aviv. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's not your usual trouble in Tel Aviv. Okay. It's not new that Tel Aviv's in trouble. Oy vey! Trouble in Tel Aviv! Well, this trouble is that some parents turned up for their Ryanair flight.

Oh, well, that's your first mistake. Yeah, to Brussels, and they hadn't paid for their baby because they were of the opinion that children under two just sit on your knee and you don't need to pay for their seat. Oh, at airlines that is the case, isn't it? Yes, under two. Not the case in this airline. They were told that they would need to pay a 25 euro fee for the infant on the lap.

So the infant doesn't even get their own seat. No. It's still on your lap, but you've got to pay the infant lap fee. But it's your lap. It's your lap. But this is Ryanair. This is Ryanair. Everything's a hidden cost.

This is the airline that wanted to charge you $2 to use the toilet. Remember that uproar? And people were like, how dare you? We'll just piss in our seats. Dump right here right now, and we'll see how much your cleaning fee is. But I'm not paying to pee. Or I'll pee in a Gatorade bottle and just leave it

in the little seat flap in front of me when I leave. Good luck with that one. No, they don't have flaps. They don't have seat pockets. You've got to pay extra for the flap. No, they literally do not have a seat pocket on Ryanair. Well, I'm just going to put the Gatorade bottle on the ground and let it roll around willy-nilly then. Hitting people in the face. Yeah, and they'll be like, what's this? They don't have a floor. on Ryanair. Well, I'm just going to put the Gatorade bottle on the ground and let it roll around willy-nilly then.

Hitting people in the feet. Yeah, and they'll be like, what's this? They don't have a floor. There's no floor. There's no floor to put it on. Your legs dangle like a roller coaster.

They truly have got me. They've got you, yeah. Well, if there's no floor, I'll just wheeze straight onto the floor. No, but with the pressure it'll blow up at you then only you will suffer.

They've got you. Damn it. Anything you want, you've got to pay for. Well, including taking your child on your own lap on a flight. They refused to pay. They left their baby at the check-in counter and they proceeded to security. You're right. That is an ass move.

Oh, wait, no? Oh, my God. Not even I would do that. Yeah, Israeli, sorry, the, Orion Air called the Israeli police, and then the parents were located, taken into custody, and removed from the airport, and their baby returned to them. Returned to them? Yeah. No, no, no, no,

no. I don't think the baby should have been returned to them. If you're going to leave your baby at the check-in counter. So that you don't miss your holiday. Yeah. I mean, it does. Should you be getting a baby? That's a big fee. What was the plan? Just to abandon the baby for how long? Ever?

And get it when they came back? It must have been an important flight. Can we leave this here and their grandparents will come and get them? But 25 euro. It's your baby. I mean, yeah, you're flying to wherever. You'd be angry, but what do you pay for it? You're flying somewhere. Like, you can afford the ticket. Yeah, if you're going on holiday to angry, but wouldn't you pay for it? You're flying somewhere. You can afford the ticket.

Yeah, if you're going on holiday to Brussels, you've probably got a spare 50 buck to pay for your baby to join you. It's a five-hour flight time from Tel Aviv to Brussels. So that's quite long form. That's quite a long, yeah, especially on a Ryanair flight with no floor. Oh, my God. Because you wouldn't want to knot off with your baby on the lap

and it falls off your lap onto the knot floor. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So this page was only created two days ago on the 31st of Jan. On his Facebook. This page is wild. This page is wild. And we're not the only place that has this. So the page, there's a Facebook page that's been created,

a group, a private group. In two days, it's gained 15,000 members. And the name of the page is, Do We Have the Same Boyfriend? And then it will say a location. This page we looked at is, Do We Have the Same Boyfriend, Auckland NZ. But then I've seen Sydney, Australia and all sorts. And so these are popping up all over the world and country. If you're going to have multiple girlfriends,

make them in different cities. Yeah, because how many, it should just be one page, right, for New Zealand. Yeah, because New Zealand is small enough. We should start the page. Have we got the same boyfriend New Zealand-wide? NZ-wide. NZ-wide. Wait, now can the gays join this? Or is

this just a straights? Absolutely. Gays, straights, bi's, anything. No matter what tickles your fancy. If you've got a fancy to be tickled, who's tickling that fancy? Are they tickling somebody else's fancy or having their fancy tickled by someone else? Someone else. So the idea is you join this group, this Facebook page. You go on and you post a picture of your boyfriend.

And their name because some people look similar. This is wild. Yeah. So you post their name and photo and then someone would go that's my boyfriend and you'd be like that's my boyfriend. And then you've answered the question, do we have the same boyfriend?

You both say one of you says okay, I'm going to go on a date night with him. We're going to go to Botswana Butchery. Jesus, we made him money? Okay. One last good meal out of this guy. Yeah.

This joker. Yeah, right. Okay. And then when you're there and you've just had your steak, maybe a pud. Yeah. Oh, we got to save the pud. The pud at Botswana. We have room for a little bit of pud.

Oh my God. And you have your pud. Then you get lady number two to come in and be like, I knew it. And then you're like, I knew it.

I'm not paying for this. I knew it. You're paying for this. And then the girl who just walked in, she gets a pud as well. She gets a pud. On the bill.

She stays for a pud. He's not going to stay while she gets a pud though. Yeah, but he's put his card down. Yeah, well, he's going to start a tab. I forgot to mention that at the Botswana Puts.

Is he? He's going to make him start a tab. And then so his card down. Yeah, well, he's going to start a tab. I forgot to mention that. The Botswana Butcher. He's going to make him start a tab. Yes, yes, yes. And so his card's still on there. And then when he gets up and leaves, he said, I need my card. You scream out, don't you dare shut that tab. Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. And then you both sit down and maybe the Johnny come lately or Johnette come lately.

She gets a steak and a pud as well. And then you just chill and finish the bottle of wine. Right, so everybody's getting a pud. Everybody's definitely getting a pud. But do you think this page is problematic? Or, like, if you're a girlfriend posting your boyfriend, you might think it's a bit of fun. But do you trust them? No.

I think that you joining this page is a sign that there's no trust in your relationship. Well, we turn to producer Jared because his girlfriend managed to join the page last night. Yep, she got accepted. She hasn't, I don't believe she's posted a picture of me yet. You won't know, you're not allowed in the group. Yeah. No men.

No men. No men allowed. Has she said what is happening inside the group? Because I'm fascinated by this. Yeah, she's had a quick look and she said it's just pictures of people's boyfriends, comments. She hasn't found anything like

super juicy yet. I want the juice, I want the juice. Yeah, me too. But also, imagine, so say... I want the pud. I know you want pud. It's only 6.22. Are we getting pud tonight? We're getting pud later. Dude, what a dumb question. Oh, sorry, sorry. We're gonna get pud on the company per diem.

You always get pud when you're away for work. Per diem pud is the best pud. Well, okay, so here's a thought. You go on this Facebook group, do we have the same boyfriend? You post a picture of your boyfriend, but he's super hot. And then you're like, well, I'll just click on that person's profile. And say.

You stalk them, and then you slide into the DMs of the hot boyfriend. So it's backfired on you. He wasn't cheating. And steal the hot boyfriend from the girl that posted. Shoot. Women wouldn't do that to each other. No, we've always been sisters.

They cannot hurt the sisterhood. Yeah, the sisterhood, mate. Women famously love other women and will do anything for them. We do nothing but raise them up. I'm just saying be careful because this could backfire on you if you have a hot boyfriend. JP, can you keep an eye on the page for us, please? Yep, I'll have a look.

We want some scandal. And in the meantime, we'll start our group for the bi's, the guy's, the gay's, the straight's, New Zealand wide, do we have the same partner, we'll call it. Oh yeah, because that's more inclusive. But then everyone's going to be joining. Yeah, I've have the same partner, we'll call it. Oh, yeah, because that's more inclusive, isn't it? But that's just ambiguous. But then everyone's going to be joining. Yeah, I've thought about that with, like,

being the admin of a page is a nightmare. You've constantly got to be watching it because if someone says something defamatory, you're also in line. Or should we make Carwin do it? Well, that's the other thing, yeah. If somebody posts, like, something that's untrue, then you've put their photo on this page and then if you're running this page, you's, you've put their photo on this page.

And then if you're running this page, you're screwed. Yes. I don't want that. I don't want that. I don't want responsibility. Maybe you should just make a page. Do we have the same pud? Oh yeah.

What's your favorite? Oh my God. And each, every time you go to a restaurant, you post, I got the brownie. And then someone else on that night, who's at a different restaurant,

is like, dude, I got the brownie. I got the brownie. Did we eat the same pud tonight? That's like, dude, I got the brownie. I got the brownie. Did we eat the same pud tonight? That's much more wholesome. Join our new page.

It's much more wholesome. Well, tonight, Ed Sheeran at Sky Stadium in Wellington. And we've been very lucky to be invited to a little behind-the-scenes tour. Oh, I'm so excited. Of the stage set up tonight because it's a stage in the centre of the stadium. The Eden Park shows in Auckland, both of those, and still tickets available for those two shows next Friday and Saturday. In the round, we call it, in the theatre world. Yes, in the round.

In the round, as opposed to traverse or thrust or prosarch. Like Adele did this and she got snuck out in a suitcase. So how's he getting to the to the round in a suitcase do you reckon you could fit in a suitcase remember when Taylor Swift

human cannon remember when Taylor Swift got carried out of her apartment in a suitcase to avoid the Papa Rots oh my god we've got to leave

these people alone that's horrible right oh poor woman so we get a behind the scenes look at the stage tonight so we'll put that all over social media. We have a little press conference,

a meet-and-greet with Ed Sheeran this afternoon, so tomorrow on the show. Am I going to try to look hot? Like, what vibe are we going for? Sexy? Professional? Because I've packed it all. Have you?

Yeah, I've packed a sexy number. Oh, you've got your wheelie suitcase? I've got a wheelie and a little Jeep suitcase. So you've got a couple of options in there? Yes, I've got something really inappropriate as well. I could wear that. Okay, right. Let's go all out. It's a family concert. Is it? No. Well, the list

of the 10 highest grossing tours in US dollars has been released. So the artisan bands that have made the most money in the last few years I was going to say of all time. Touring the world. Not all time. In at number 10, Metallica. They've made $416 million US dollars between 2016 and just recently.

I love Metallica so much. And I missed them last time because the lead singer, they pulled out of their tour because he went into rehab. That's right. He was having, which was good. Because they haven't toured since 2019, so maybe that's why. Guys, Slipknot on this list. It's right, yeah. He was having, which was good. Because they haven't toured since 2019, so maybe that's why. Guys, is Slipknot on this list? It's not, no.

Slipknot's coming to New Zealand. ACDC is next on the list. They have made $441 million with the Black Ice World Tour, which started in 2008. Still got it, eh? And still on the list, yeah. Roger Waters, Pink Floyd, The Wall Live, $459 million. Did I read about Roger Waters?

Yeah, he's a problem. Is he cancelled? He's old mate grumpy. Old mate grumpy. He's old mate grumpy. Somebody sat down with him and asked him about modern artists or other things, and he just bagged everybody. But you would if you were Pink Floyd,

because you're in the old days. And he even bagged out Pink Floyd. But wasn't he anti-vax or was he? Oh, I can't remember. Oh, look, I don't know, but yeah. Probably. There's problems there. But he's still going.

Coldplay are next in at the list of the highest grossing tours. They, with their Head Full of Dreams tour, have made $523 million. They're still at that spot on the list. Everyone loves Coldplay, you know? Even though this tour was touring 2016-2017. The Rolling Stones have made $546 million since 2017. Look at these old-timers on this list. That's the No Filter Tour.

The Bigger Bang Tour is next on the list, earning $558 million. So they've earned, is that a billion? A thousand million is a billion. So they've made a billion dollars since 2005. My parents went to that tour in Italy and he had literally gotten out of his COVID isolation the day before.

And I said to mum, I was like, how was he? Because he's already old, right? And he puts out so much energy. Mick Jagger, yeah. Mick Jagger. And she was like, rough. Rough. Like fresh on the back of COVID.

Rough. Guns N' Roses. Not in this Lifetime Tour. That's just recently what was here December, November last year. They've been touring since 2016 and have made $584 million. You two, a third on the list of the highest grossing tours. This music sucks. This music is all of this.

$736 million. You two. You two. I could do it. $736 million. You too. You too. I could do it. I could do it. Elevation. Look at one good song. Okay, next on the list is our boy, Ed Sheeran.

His Divide Tour. So the mathematics tour is what we're seeing tonight. So the Divide Tour between 2017 and 2019 and then the pandemic, that made $776 million. He's a huge star. He's a huge star. Who's number one on the list? Taylor Swift.

No. Isn't that amazing she's not on the list? Well, she hasn't really been touring. Not enough touring. It's not a female. It's an old queen. It's probably the reason he didn't reschedule his concerts this weekend. it's the reason he just got on his private jet and left to hawaii he doesn't

need to do two more shows in auckland how much he made uh he's made since 2018 the farewell yellow brick road tour 817 million dollars yeah yeah Like, that's nearly a billion dollars. Well, and he couldn't just stay and leave. Look at that concert. No, he couldn't just stay another two days. He doesn't need to. He's made $817 million. I know, but that's for the people.

That's so amazing. Look at all these old-timers on there. When I say old-timer, I mean, I love all the old-timers on this list. Yeah. Hey, also, tours, tours, tours. Beyonce just announced a tour. But here?

World. World tour. But here? And did I mention Slipknot? They're also coming. World tour. They're also coming. The Renaissance tour.

You've got bizarre music taste. I know. I'm excited about Beyonce and Slipknot. You can go to a Slipknot concert and then a Beyonce concert. It's wild. Only Europe and North America so far for Beyonce. Okay. But, I mean, that's going to send,

people are going to get into a bloody frenzy over that. Well, when she was here last time, she did back-to-back three, was it three or four or five shows at Spark? All sold out. She probably could have done like three or four or five, like Eden Parks or Bounce Smart. Could have done a residency in New Zealand alone. Yeah, wow.

Well, yeah, have fun tonight. If you're off to Ed Sheeran's Sky Stadium and still tickets for that show, those two shows in Auckland as well at Eden Park, all the details are at ZM Online. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank,

this is the top six. Hello there. The North Island has been named one of the world's most Instagrammable places for 2023. Interesting. Did they, um, like work out the most Instagram spots in the world, like hashtags? Yes. Okay, right. Yes, yes, yes. Did they

go to the South Island? Yeah. And TikTok, um, hashtags as well. Okay. Do you want to know that we finished 11. And TikTok hashtags as well. Okay. Do you want to know that we finished 11th? That's pretty cool. Who's above us?

Out of the whole world. 10, Sydney, Australia. 9, Sri Lanka. Oh, I've heard the beaches here. Because people hang out the trains. They hang out the blue train

and they get when it's going around the corner and get the train. That guy died. Yeah, a New Zealand guy. But also the beaches here I've heard are amazing.

It's like an untapped Bali or something. Sri Lanka. Love Bali. Bali's number eight, but no one on the show has been there, so we can't talk about that. I went. I went last year. Chicago, number seven.

Oh, I went. I was here like two weeks ago. I was here two weeks ago. We don't need to keep going on about our travels. Some of us had to cancel their holiday because it was raining so much, okay? Nepal is number six, which surprises me because it's cool and it looks amazing, but I didn't think that many people would go there. It's had 31 and a half billion TikTok tags.

I'd love to go. I would love to go. Views, rather. But not known for being hugely accessible. No. You know what I mean? Nepal. New York, USA is at five.

Ah, I've been. I haven't. Istanbul and Turkey is number four. Paris and France is three. London, England two. And Milan, Italy number one. These are not the most beautiful places in the world. They're cool places.

Milan, Italy is a top destination for social media enthusiasts and travel. 22 million Instagram hashtags and 97 billion TikTok views of the Milan hashtag. Do you reckon that's like the fashionistas? Yeah. Because Milan, fashion capital of the world. Yeah. Milan. The Duomo di Milano, 14th century Gothic cathedral.

Well, they've missed a few spots. Okay. On the North Island of New Zealand. The top six Instagrammable spots in the North Island That didn't make the list Number six on the list The top twins, Muriel and Huntley But now you've got to go there

Yeah, you've got to get off State Highway 1 Because of the bypass There was always a treat driving past that There was I saw it the other day Yeah, in December Because Aaron took the wrong exit He was panicking

Did he hear about it? And then he heard. We made him aware. Yeah. But then we got to see the mural. So it was all worth it. Decker sign's still there. How did you accidentally get off at Huntley?

Oh, my God. He just panicked. Yeah, if you're in the left lane now, it shoots you off. But the left lane was the old State Highway 1. He doesn't strike me as a panicky driver. He's not panicky at all, but he did, and I was like, now we're in Huntly. And then the panic set in.

Number five on the list of the top six most Instagrammable spots in the North Island that didn't make the list are Auckland beaches when it rains and the sewage runs into the ocean. Oh, it's so beautiful. That pooey foam. Yeah. Just laughing at the beaches. The foam is so off, eh? The pooey, smelley foam. Yeah. Just laughing at the beaches. The foam is so off, eh?

The pooey, smelly foam. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six Instagrammable spots in the North Island. The list, the Big Apple in Otorohonga. It's a big-ass apple. I've been inside that. You can go inside it. It smells a bit like weeds.

Yeah, people have weed in there. Yeah. A couple of nangs on the floor. Was there a nangy on the floor? Nangs and weeds. It's seen better days. You don't want to be climbing those steep Was there a nangy on the floor? Nangs and wees. It's seen better days. You don't want to be climbing those steep stairs on the nang. No, I know.

Number three on the list of the top six Instagrammable spots in the North Island that didn't make this. The lovely cruising spots along the Waikato River at Karapiro. Of the boat cruising. Well, that homosexual cruising. Oh, right. It still happens. Really? We're coming back from Tauranga.

Yeah. And the girls need to go to the bathroom. So we called into one of the facilities and there was like some old men just sitting in cars by themselves. On a work day. They could have. They were probably just having a little sandwich. Could have been having a sandwich.

A little sandwich or something. Third row. Have they not heard of Grindr? A little penis sandwich. There it is. What is not heard of Grindr? Little penis sandwich. There it is. What is it, the 80s? Get Grindr. Dude, they still do that.

I know, but they're old school. You never know. It's analog. Analog. Analog. Analog. It's analog Grindr. Analog Grindr.

Yep. I'll tell you who loves some analog Grindr. George Michael. George Michael. R.A.P. R.A.P. R.A.P. Loved an analog grinder. Loved a penis sandwich.

You left. Number two on the list of the top six Instagrammable spots. Also, by the way, the Prime Minister's about to come in here. Clean it up. Can we just clean it up? You should mention to him about, you should mention to Chip that he should clean it up. But do you want him to make homosexuality illegal again? We can't ask his point of view on penis sandwiches along the Waikato River.

We don't need... We need to talk to him about the issues. Bread and butter issues. It has nothing to do with cruising. Gay cruising. It's about sandwiches. Penis sandwiches. Famously bread and butter.

Have gone up in price. Because the white bread's not a dollar a loaf anymore. Or you have to go down to one slice of bread and then a peanut sandwich becomes a hot dog. Becomes an open sandwich. Carry on, please. Number two on the list of the top six Instagrammable spots in the North Island that didn't make the list are Wellington's dribbly old Lambton Quay

after a bit of rain. The dribbly... Do you know what I say? The dribbliest street in New Zealand. It's beautiful. Plop, plop, plop. Every... Awning, yeah.

Every shop awning is dribbly. I love it when it gets to the back of your neck or something. You're like, oh! Yeah, I love it when you get a drip

down the back. You cannot beat it on a dribbly day. Isn't that the same? Oh, dribbles. And number one on the list of the top six

Instagrammable spots in the North Island that didn't make the list. New Plymouth. How dare you? That's beautiful. The mountain. That gets Instagram

more than Morrinsville. Yeah, but no, it doesn't because you can see the big cow regardless of the weather. Guys, it's not a hometown off. 99% of the time you go to New Plymouth

you don't even know that it has a mountain. Very rude. You just know it's got a very strong westerly wind. Very rude. The sunniest city in the whole country.

And you still can't see the mountain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's odd that, isn't it? It's very odd. It's such a shame. It's the next up six. Prime Minister joins us soon, about quarter past seven.

We all need to calm down before he gets here as well. Yeah, we just had a... We need to tidy it up. We just had a bloody... We just had a finger gun standoff, didn't we? We were all just pointing at each other. Everybody calm down. Everybody calm down.

Get out of my face. Everybody relax. Out of my face, sir. Everybody relax. Now, it's normally you that has the issues with the Lazy Hair Clinic. The intimate areas. Famously, you've gone viral. You went viral online.

For my butt. For your butt. Didn't I? For my bum bum. Yes. Don't go viral. That's had ridiculous amounts of views, hasn't it? But this time, Carween, bit of a whoopsie doodle.

What happened? Look, I was at work quite late the other day and I knew I had a laser appointment to go to, so I was like, I'll just go straight from work. What are we addressing? What are we addressing at the clinic? Pits and bits. Pits and bits. Pits and bits. Oh, that's a nice way of putting it. They do a little package deal, pits and bits. Pits and bits.

Pits and bits. Oh, that's a nice way of putting it. They do a little package deal, pits and bits. Do they? Okay. And so as I got into my car, I was like, oh, I didn't go to the toilet. Oh, well, they'll have a toilet there. I get there with a little time to spare.

They don't have a toilet there. They don't have a toilet. I know. Oh, they don't have a toilet. Which one? Well, don't say because I don't have a toilet. No, but the one I go to is in a mall. So the only toilet is the mall toilet outside of the business.

No, I wasn't in a mall. You go to one in a mall? Yeah. What is it, underneath the escalators? Yeah. You don't want someone. They just draw a curtain while he goes shopping. You don't want someone on the escalator going up to farmers looking down and seeing your pits and bits.

You're under the down air escalator and they're going up and they get a right view. They would be so lucky. Because my one doesn't have a toilet either, but if you ask, they give you the key to go to the toilet around the corner. Right. No, I said, hey, do you guys happen to have a bathroom?

She said, no, sorry. And I said, all right. That's wild. Where did they go to the toilet? They do have one, but they're not telling you. I'm going to assume that it's a staff-only toilet situation. Right. Yeah, but you don't have wheeze

on the seat vibes to me. Thank you so much. It's a pleasure. You don't know people. You don't know people. You don't know anyone. You don't know who we are. You can't trust anyone. Okay so you're busting to wee? Yes just a wee. Thank god. And so obviously I was addressing

Pits and Bits so I was a little bit scared and then I text my friend and bits. So I was a little bit scared. And then I text my friend and said, oh, this could be interesting. And she said, oh, my gosh, what if you react to the laser and just wee a little? Like it zapped your right ear, your waist. And so obviously I was nervous about that. I'm, you know, thinking about it, but not trying to think about it. And then the girl says, oh, so what do you do for a job?

And I said, oh, I work in radio. Because I usually just try and keep it to that. Did she say, oh, sorry, I don't listen to Spotify. Yeah, I don't listen to the radio. She said, oh, what station? So I said ZM. Oh, I don't like that one. Is that what she said?

No, she said, oh, I love Fletchford and Hayley. Listen to them all the time. Oh, no. Now she's seen your bits. She's seen your bits. She might be listening right now. It's too intimate. I just,

I just, and she's like, oh, what do you do for the station? I was like, oh, just behind the scenes stuff. Yes.

Yeah. She's seen your bits. Not our producer, just, oh, just an intern, just not much. She was like,

would I have heard you on air? I was like, nah, nah, not at all. Maybe tomorrow though when I wheel over your laser clinic table and talk about it on the radio.

Yeah, did you manage to keep it in? Yeah. Laser's pretty quick, so it was all good, but... Pretty quick? Yeah. My woman really takes her time. You've got quite a forest down there. She's really working through all of it.

Yeah. They're deforesting the Amazon down there. They truly are. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I think your watch thinks you've had a fall. Oh, babe. Is that how old you are? Oh, no.

Excuse me, I'm 43. It's alerting St. John's. Not as old as the new Prime Minister, who is, I believe... 44. 44. We welcome in Chris Hipkins. Hi, Chris. 44 and the 41st Prime Minister of New Zealand. That's the one. So I'm told, yeah. 44. We welcome in Chris Hipkins. Hi, Chris. 44 and the 41st Prime Minister of New Zealand.

That's the one. So I'm told, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just did the quick maths on that. I added up every single Prime Minister that I can recall off the top of my head. He's good. Good in a trivia quiz. Vaughan went to school with the last Prime Minister

and used to pester her all the time on Instagram. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. We've got to come to some sort of agreement, you and I. Did she ever reply back? Always.

Always. Like, ridiculously so. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, how does she have time to talk to you? Does he? Yeah. Maybe I'll take over with Chippy because we're both hut kids.

Yes. From the hut. Yep. I'm sure we can compare notes. Yeah, there we go. Well, Chris Hipkins is with us next. The Prime Minister's in studio. Good morning.

Good morning. And congratulations. Thank you. Is it congratulations? Well, it's been a big couple of weeks, actually. The dust still hasn't quite settled yet. We were just talking about actively avoiding stress, but you seem to be leaning into it.

Well, that goes with the job, really. You never quite know what's going to happen one day to the next. Why would you want to? Is that the term when you go to university and they do hazing? Oh yeah, to get into a fran house. It's like an initiation. Like, here's a flood. Well, I mean, a flood in the first week certainly

was a new challenge that I wasn't necessarily anticipating right from the get-go. At least Wayne Brown had it taken care of. Well, look. Well, I've seen the memes. No comment. Have you seen the memes? The look?

Well, from the press conference. I may have seen one or two of them. What were you thinking when you were like... Yeah, maybe I'll stick with my no comment on that one. I think we've got to work on our blank facial expressions. Yeah, I've always had a rubbish poker face. I'd never be a gambler in that regard because my money would just disappear. But you make one hell of a meme.

It's not your first meme. Yeah, usually by accident though. I never really intend to. I don't know what it is, but it just sort of happens. All the best memes are by accident. The spread your legs at the... Yeah, that was famous, wasn't it? Well, that was one of those things where, you know,

you say something and you think, I'm pretty sure I've just said something that I didn't mean to say, but I can't actually figure out what it is. And then about 10 minutes later, it just sort of clicks. And you're kind of like, oh, okay, I just said that, right. So I then had to get through the rest of the press conference without thinking about it. And then, yeah, I don't think I'm ever going to live just said that, right. So I then had to get through the rest of the press conference without thinking about it. And then, yeah, I don't think I'm ever going to live that one down, though.

So, Vaughan, you asked, like, why? Why would you want to be the Prime Minister? Yeah, I love this country, but not for all the... Do you say tea in China still, or is that a bit inappropriate? I've still got a lot of tea. Not for all the tea in China. Look, it's an amazing job. It's an amazing opportunity to make a difference.

I love New Zealand. I think we can make a big difference. And you just have to be able to filter out all of that kind of other stuff that goes with the job. How, though? When there's people driving around, I saw a car with the faces of politicians behind bars and they're tying a billboard saying, like,

arrest them all, Nuremberg trials. Like, how do you blank out that? Look, I don't look at it. I don't look at the social media stuff because when it comes to politics, sadly social media becomes a bit of a cesspool and it's just best to avoid it. Otherwise your mental health just wouldn't really cope with it.

Absolutely. Do you have a family? I do, yeah. What did they make of this decision? It's been a big thing for them to kind of get their heads around, I think. But they've adjusted. They've been great, yeah. Because it's a lot, isn't it?

Sort of a team activity with your family. So when did you, do you get, have you got the office already? Yep. The big beehive Prime Ministerial office? So as I was driving up to Government House to get my warrant, you know, as Prime Minister, Jacinda So as I was driving up to Government House to get my warrant, you know, as Prime Minister, Jacinda had gone up about half an hour before me because she has to go and resign to the Governor-General. Is she going to bond back?

Yeah, that's right. No, I think she does want to bond back. She does want to bond back. And so, yeah, as I was driving up the driveway to do that, she sent me a text message, said, tag, you're it. And that was pretty much it. Then we came back to the building and moved a few boxes and it's taken a few, you know,

it's amazing how much crap you accumulate in five and a half years in an office. I mean, imagine what my house is going to be like. But yeah, so it just, it all happens. Who's your favourite Prime Minister, New Zealand Prime Minister of days gone by? Oh, well, you know, look, Jacinda's probably the one that I know the best,

so I have to say her. Right, she's your favourite. What about historically, going back? Right, she's your favourite. What about historically? Going back. Look, people like Norman Kirk. I think Norman Kirk did an amazing stuff as a tragedy for New Zealand that he didn't live longer. Michael Joseph Savage as well, you know,

our first Labour Prime Minister. No Jenny Shipley, interesting. Not at the top of the list. Wow, iconic. Well imagine if the Labour Prime Minister picked the National Prime Minister. So with you, Nick, you've created a minister for Auckland. Yep.

Was that an immediate response to what's been happening over the last couple of weeks and realising that we need maybe a little bit more attention? It was probably a response to what's happened over the last couple of years. So I look at, you know, particularly towards the end of 2021, you know, with the COVID lockdowns and everything, you know, Auckland took an absolute, you know, hammering during the COVID period. So, you know, and I think

the whole country should say thank you to Auckland for that. Thank you. You're welcome. They won't. Yeah, they won't. But, you know, I think Auckland does need a bit of attention. We need to get Auckland pumping again. And, you know, even as I, you know, drive around Auckland, we're not quite back to where we were pre-COVID. And I think that's where we need to get to. That's cool. And you've announced the extension of the tax fuel cuts

and the half price public transport. Thank you. Yeah. How long is that? That's till June, is that right? That's till June. And then we've got a budget in May. So we'll be able to determine the future of that kind of stuff

during the budget process. But, you know, fuel prices going up, food prices particularly going up. And actually there's a relationship between the two because all of your food has to get to the supermarket. And that's actually part of the cost of the food that you pay for in the supermarket. So the fuel tax cuts will help with that as well. What about like the floods around Auckland? A lot of food producing areas were affected. And I mean, as you said, food prices are already under strain and a

lot of the ones affected were the fruit and veg areas around. New Zealand and Australia in the last you know the last couple of years have been really clobbered by weather and that's had an impact on on our food prices here and in Australia as well you know a lot of those primary food producers we pay international prices for those because you know the people who are producing and go well I can sell it offshore for more so so they'll sell it offshore. So we have to pay the same price here. And that means that when the weather reduces the supply, the price goes up. And so, you know, the weather's had a big impact on the cost of food, you know, cost of fresh food in New Zealand.

Do you think, like, because I feel the image that, not that we're being presented from you, but, you know, we call you Chippy and you're a boy from the heart. Is that something that's important to you to still remain very much a down-to-earth man? Yeah, look, I'm still going to be me. I'm not changing that for anybody. You know, I am who I am. I think, you know, if you're going to be Prime Minister,

you have to just do it on your own terms. Otherwise, I don't think you'd kind of get through. So I'm not going to be anybody else. I'm just going to be me. Are the bodyguards going to let you cycle to the Beehive every day? Because you used to cycle, didn't you? Yeah, I did used to bike from Upper Hutt

into Wellington. Your bodyguard looks like, I don't want to cycle every day. They're standing awkwardly out there and looking at me as I'm talking about this. They look great in lycra. Yeah, I know. But look, probably not because, you know, when they indicated maybe it would involve, you know, closing a lane or something like that, I was thinking, oh, I don't want all those angry morning commuters looking at me.

No, you couldn't have a whole lane for you to cycle. No, so I might have to give up on that one. It might be the extra cycle for a wee while. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, Prime Minister, thank you so much for joining us. Yeah, thanks, guys. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey.

Play ZM. Someone online has posed the idea of, because they're sick of living next to kids and living surrounded by kids and kids always being on the street and with their bikes and living happy lives. Hitting tennis balls over the fence. Oh my God, always playing joyfully in the backyard.

Yeah. Put out the call for adult-only suburbs. You know how there's always adult only resorts yeah overseas and like hotels yeah when i went to bali we went to an adults only one and it just means there's no kids around is that the 10th time you've brought up bali since we've been back in two weeks in like nine shows yeah at least yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah still adult only suburbs would be so expensive why do you think they'd be more expensive? Because it's just exclusive. It's exclusive.

And then people are like, people without kids have more money to spend because they don't have children. Yeah. So they would move there and they would pay a higher dollar.

It'd be at a premium. It'd be at a premium. Yeah. And then you'd be paying more. Aren't they just called retirement homes? No, but they're kids'

visit. This would be like no kids allowed. No kids to visit. Are your grandkids allowed to stay with you in a retirement village? Oh, and it's part of your village, right? Did you? We did.

When my grandparents had a house in a village, you know when they've got your own house but within a community, through gates, behind a gated community, we would stay. Right. So those are their own houses. Imagine though if like you Lived in this place You loved the house Loved your neighbours

It was all working out You loved it And then uh oh Someone's knocked up You'd have to hide it You'd have to move out You'd have to get like a basement Where the kids could live

Yes So you didn't have to leave And then you'd have to like Gain a whole lot of weight So that the belly Was less noticeable Because you were bigger all round Yeah Yes Or just stay in for nine months to like gain a whole lot of weight so that the belly was less noticeable because you were bigger all round.

Yes. Or just stay in for nine months. Who is seriously suggesting this? Like actually for real? Nah, not for real. It was just, it was trending online because someone was like, I'm sick of the kids. Yeah. And I mock her, but you know, me too.

Do you have like noisy kids around your place? No, we't i'm doing that to them they look a bit like they look a bit like me yeah they do though you got your 100 your responsibility oh yeah i can hear them i've got a great set of noise cancelling headphones those on or start at the lawnmower yeahown them out with a two-stroke petrol engine. We don't live in a very kid street. Kid heavy street. Our neighbours got like a two-year-old, I think. No, no, no, no, no. Like a one and a half year old.

But they've only just moved in because you had a lot of fertiliser factories around that neighbourhood. I think that's probably sorted out the no kids thing. Yeah, it has. That's why they all keep dropping off too. Well, they are trying and trying and trying. Yeah. And then our other neighbours are... Boy, that grass is green though. Isn't it?

Jesus. Oh my God, luscious. Luscious grass. Luscious. So no, we don't deal with it. So I sort of feel like I'm in a... And I like, I like, I mean, I genuinely, one of the things when we were looking at our suburb

is we would come in, right, to like get a feel for the place before we bought our house. And you'd see kids on the road, you know, no parents and stuff and you'd be like, that's how it was when I grew up. So it was actually one of the things that we liked the most was that there were kids. That you could run over. That I don't have to like, raise.

It's different these days. Those kids in the street that you see without their parents, they were carjacking. They were a roaming gang of carjacking, carjacking children. There's two dairies in our village and they just keep getting rammed. Yes. But they carjack and then they're rammed. Yeah. Carjack and rammed.

Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. ZM, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to the segment of the show where we go around New Zealand having a look at what's happening on local community Facebook pages. Our first for 2023. It's community notices. Yeah, if you see anything that pops up, send it in.

Love receiving them. Here we go. Rolleston. Tyler writes, I found this cat in my house this morning. And there's a picture of a cat. You two all like that. You cat people. Cute.

Little tabby. Cat. Looks playful and friendly. Well, it was trying to have Intercourse with my dog If this is your cat Please DM me Because I don't want

No half dog Half cat babies Running around my house Thanks I don't have toilet I don't know how Species stuff works Alone in the woods

With a little cat doll Yeah Hey there's always A first time though Isn't there There is How do you think We got those weird

Horse human things From Lion the Witch In the wardrobe Oh the trot The trot Centa the centaurs. Centaurs. Yeah. They're hot.

I want to hear another thing about them. Really? Centaurs. I would. Where are their genitals? In their chest. It's a controversy. Where the humans, just under where the human ends and the horse starts.

That's where the genitals are. Are they horse genitals or human genitals? Human genitals. Where the humans would have them. Or are they horse genitals where the horse would have them? Or are they human genitals where the horse would have them? I think Tyler is right to raise a point about the half cat, half dog. You don't

want to be dealing with that. You don't want that. You don't want that on your watch. Yeah. No. This little situation is also happening in Roleston. Sally Ann writes, if the lady who said hi to me at Joe's Garage at about two is on the page, can you message me?

I think you had a yellow cardi on. I know you, but I don't know where from, and it's driving me crazy. So someone said hi. I hate that. Yeah. I can remember a face. Terrible with names. Yeah. Because I can remember a face. Terrible with names.

Same. But if I see a face, I'm like, how do I know that person? And if I don't know, it bugs me all day. Yes, same. Well, she worked it out. Did she? She said, relax, everybody. I remembered who it is.

It's my son's old swimming teacher. I didn't recognize her with clothes on. Because that is, will you only ever see someone in one spot, in one place? Like I saw someone from the gym the other day in civilian clothing and I was like,

oh my God. You're used to seeing them in Lululemon. Yeah, how do I know that person? And then I was like, oh, that's right. You have no idea of their style either.

Yeah. Because athleisure or athletic wear is very much one look. Well, it's kind of. Smaller degrees, but then you're like,

you're a goth? Yes. What the hell? A goth at the gymnasium? My God. You're almost unheard of. You wear lederhosen outside the gym? Didn't pick it.

I did not pick it. Did not pick it. Graylin Ponsonby Gravevine Kitty posts, I have ice cold beers and I don't even drink beer. Visitors leaving their crap in my fridge. How ungrateful. Oh.

Anyone want to swap for ciggies? Not menthol. I have three Carlsberg, one Heineken bottle and nine Heineken cans. You must be over 18. Carlsberg. Carlsberg? It's unusual, isn't it? You've got trashy friends.

Not where I would go immediately. Carlsbergs and Heinekens, but you want to swap for ciggies. Again, not menthol. It's a, isn't it? You've got trashy friends. Not where I would go immediately. No. Carlsbergs and Heinekens, but you want to swap for Siggy's. Again, not menthol. It's a good trade. And also, quite grown up, you know, being responsible, they're not trading with children under 18. Yeah, and not wasting. Like, she could have just chucked them out.

Oh, yeah. No, it's a waste. You leave them in the fridge so that you've got guests. You've always got to be able to guest pop over. Gigi, this is from the Gold Coast Community Board. This is from one of our international listeners. Yeah.

I'm looking for recommendations for a pet psychic in the Gold Coast region who is able to connect with animals currently still in the living world. I wanted to communicate with my cat.

Sounds like a cat's MIA. I'm sure I know where it's at. I saw a news story earlier this week of an airline, I think it might have been in,

I don't know, somewhere overseas and they lost somebody's cat or dog this week of an airline, I think it might have been in, somewhere overseas and they lost somebody's cat or dog. Like, you know, they checked it in in the baggage. Oh my God. Put it in the hold,

in the cargo hold and then they don't know where it's gone and they're looking for a pet psychic to get through to the pet so they can track it down. They need an Ace Ventura

pet detective. Yes, they do. That's exactly what they need. Yeah. But no, no psychics have come forward so far to claim that they can work out where that cat is. We've just got, producer Jared found this one. On the Beach Haven and Birkdale community,

no judgment here, please, and I'm not taking the mickey or having a laugh. I'm actually terrified and strongly believe in this and I'm very sensitive to insults, etc. at the moment. Okay, okay. Does anyone know who I can contact

to have my home blessed to get rid of some dark energy or dare I say it, ghosts? Oh. I've contacted Haunted New Zealand to no avail.

My home is haunted and the activity is getting a lot heavier and darker. Like what? Like what? Yeah. I have been scratched with no explanation.

Oh my God, mosquito. Two weeks ago and the marks are still there. Things are disappearing. Voices and noises that are unexplained. And last night there was the final straw when I closed and locked my ranch, loader and curtains, went into the kitchen,

came back out, it was wide open and the curtains were hooked back. Spooky, spooky. Okay, no, I'd be moving out. Oh my God, I love this. Absolutely no way. I ran straight out to the side to see if anybody was there and the gate on my deck was still closed

and our upstairs unit in one big house downstairs has activity too. My son and I hid in the kitchen with a knife. That'll go straight through a ghost. Yes, it will. You need a proton pack. You do. I would be getting some Arlo or some home security cameras and seeing what's happening.

Yes, there could be, I mean, very likely there's an explanation for this. Yes. I've never been more terrified in my life. The energy in my house is off and it's heavy and it almost felt like a blanket of smoke but without the smoke. Wow. Can you break a lease if the reason is ghosts? Like a lot of people are talking about the floods at the moment.

If you've got a flooded flat, you can actually, if it's unlivable, or partially, you can either get a rent reduction or get out of the lease in two days. So you would cite ghosts as the main reason. You might have to ask the Citizens Advice Bureau there for official ruling on haunting, poltergeist, ghosts. Is this enough? Because you've talked about wanting to do a segment on ghosts

and the unexplained. You love this kind of stuff. Because I saw a ghost. I was not a believer in ghosts until I saw a ghost a couple of years ago in Palmerston North. It was an old man in a grey suit and you described the hotel.

And then we went to the hotel when we were in Palmerston North and it was not at all like I pictured. Yeah, no, it was very... It was a new build. Very clinical. Yes.

Very sterile. Maybe the ghost lived in the old house at the Quest Apartments. Oh my God, yeah. Maybe he refused to move. Yeah. He refused to move.

It was like in an old villa, right? Yeah. And they bowled it. They bowled it. He refused to move. He was like in an old villa, right? Yeah. And they bowled it. They bowled it when he was in there. He was under the house doing some electrical work. I wonder why he was dribbling. He was dribbling on me. But then also when you went back, he didn't bother you again, so.

No, but I had COVID, so I was in a feverish stream. I didn't know what was happening. Yeah, right. And finally, from the People's Independent Republic of New Brighton, Keita writes, I'm looking for a taxidermist in Christchurch for my dog. I didn't know what was happening. Yeah, right. And finally, from the People's Independent Republic of New Brighton, Keita writes, I'm looking for a taxidermist in Christchurch for my dog. I'm just looking at options for now so I can be ready when she passes.

She's still alive. Here's her with Santa. They put up a photo of her with the dog with Santa. I couldn't imagine seeing like a pet that I loved so much and loved having around. It would just be a reminder. I wouldn't like it. I like lying on the floor watching TV. Now, if the golden retriever was to

pass, I could get him in a curled up posse. Oh my god, pillow. And I would just lean against them like that. Like those tri pillows. But could you put memory foam inside a taxidermy doll? Or just in the tummy. Just in the tummy so I could lay on the tummy. Oh god, that would be the

most comfortable pillow. Oh my god, yeah. Lovely long hair on the retriever. Those are today's community notices and as Fletch said before, if you see anything on your local Facebook page, screen cap it and send it to ours. F-E-H-Z-M. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Tonight

Sky Stadium. Ed Sheeran. This is not a test. This is not a test. This is happening. Sold out, I believe. It has, yes. Now, we will be this afternoon at a press conference with Ed Sheeran. We're going to have a little tour of the stadium because I don't know if you know this,

but the stage will be in the centre of the cake tin and also at Eden Park in Auckland, a centre stage. It's been the talk of the town. So it means that you don't have to just have the front tickets to get a really good view. Yeah. You know what I mean? 360. 360. And we're going to get a tour of this art because how does he get out to the middle? Like, do you remember when Adele had the centre

the centre con? Flying Fox. Flying Fox. Flying Fox is in. And Lad's in a pool of mud. That would be amazing. I reckon he'll be hiding in there. Flying fox. Flying fox is in. And lad's in a pool of mud that's in the middle of a stage. That would be amazing. I reckon he'll be hiding in there from the moment the audience starts coming out. Or they've dug a tunnel. We can answer these questions this afternoon on socials. We're going to give you like a behind the scenes tour.

Yes. Of Ed Sheeran's concert set up if you're going tonight or you're going to any of the Auckland shows. Now, I just will quickly say that the Ed Sheeran tour, there's the odd ticket for the Auckland show on Friday the 10th of Feb. They look like resales on the Ticketmaster website. And there are still seats for the Saturday show, both of those at Eden Park, on the 10th and 11th of Feb. That's next Friday and Saturday. Yeah, that will sell out, though.

So, like, be quick. But this afternoon, we get to go to Sky Stadium earlier and ask Ed Sheeran one question at a press conference. We're going to a press conference. Yeah, round table. Like after a tennis match or a rugby match and they're always like, Steve Henson. Where did you go wrong?

Yeah. Was it down to the boys in the end and they played a good second half? Yeah. Or is it our fitness? Is it the curse of our fitness has held us back? Why do you keep losing? How are we going to get just one question? We're all about the banter. And I think it's going to be

it'll probably have to be about the music. It'll have to be, like, you won't be able to ask a personal question. Yeah, probably. We don't want to shut you down. What's your favourite key on a piano? Yeah, but do people want to know that? I don't care. Mine's C sharp, if you're asking me. I was going to say D flat. Which is C sharp.

I like the white ones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because they're bigger. They're bigger. But then sometimes I like pressing the black ones. Yeah.

Dong. Ding. Dong. That's right. You're a clever musical genius. Thank you. Watch out, Mozart. Did you ever do that thing where you roll your knuckles across the black keys?

Brrring. Ding, ding. Brrring. Ding, ding. Brrring. Brrring. Or you just run your hand down the keys. Brrring.

Yeah. That's my extensive knowledge. That's exactly how a piano sounds. A piano. Brrring. We asked you on Instagram what question, one question, should we ask Ed Sheeran? Now, let's run through the list because we did get quite a few replies. CJ said, who's the best opening act? It's a short,

it's a simple, but then he's just going to say who's there? I'm very much looking forward to Yeah, exactly. Very diplomatic. Yeah. Yeah. Mary says, has there ever been a celebrity who you long admired who's been a major letdown? He won't answer that because that's negative. It's very

a positive fellow. He is, yeah. He's a positive fellow. Should gingers get the bad rap they get? That's from a fellow ginger. I'm not asking that. I'm not asking the ginger question. I'm ginger now. Since the last time we talked I've got red hair. You're fake. You're faux ginger. Hey, I'm authentic. I'm real. Everything about me is real other than the colour of my hair.

Okay. Well, that'll get us kicked out. Out of us... See, this is a little self-indulgent. Who would you kiss, stroke, or spoon? Kiss, stroke, spoon, that's a very gentle version of the usual game. If Ed could describe himself as a cake, what kind of cake would he be and why? And what kind of cake would this latest album be?

I do love that question. Doesn't he like the caterpillar cake or whatever that weird cake was? The hungry... Oh, maybe. Yeah, that's right. The strange cake he was into. We talked about that. What's his favourite New Zealand treat or food? Classic. Classic Kiwi. And then we chuck a bag of pineapple lumps at him, right? And be like, have you

tried those? I think there'll be at least four people there with a bag of pineapple lumps. Yes. Classic Kiwi medium. Let's not do that. None of those about the music. Apart from the cake the cake album yeah if this album on tour was a cake what kind of cake would it be yeah odd is that it oh okay yeah what we did there was we tried to source out work and get somebody else to do our work and it's and the lesson has been sometimes you have to do you know if you want a job done right you got to do our work. And it's failed miserably. Sometimes you have to do, you know, if you want a job done right, you've got to do it yourself.

See, sometimes I think these journalists, like, they get all like, like they're all scrambling to ask a question. I'd just go back to the newsroom and say, I couldn't get a word in any way. Well, that's what all I'm going to do. And I'd just take all of Jessica Much's answers. And record your voice asking the question. Yeah, exactly.

I think we should do that too. I'm going to sit next to a journalist today and just look over and see some of their questions and then pick their best question that's not their first question and then ask that question. Yeah, love that idea. Yeah, okay.

Well, heck, I guess tune in tomorrow. Could we do a compound question? What's a compound? Where you go like, what's your favourite song in the album and where were you when you wrote it? Two questions for the price of one. Oh, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We could do that. We could get bang. I'm just talking bang for buck. What's your favourite song? Who's it about? Where were you when you wrote it?

We can get the what, the where's, the how's, the who's. Are we just running a journalism class here or what? But also, what's your favourite flavour of chip? So you get something at the end. Yeah, a little bit of something else. Also ASL. Because I reckon he'd be a salt and vinegar kind of guy. He'd love a vinegar.

And then everywhere he goes from then on out, he just gets pounded with free chips and it's salt and vinegar. Yeah. And he grows sick of it and he wishes he'd never seen anything. That's the level of fame Ed Sheeran's dealing with. Yeah. Oh, well, we'll do you proud and ask a good question that we steal from a proper journalist.

All those concert details are at ZM Online. Don't even know how to run a background check. How does one do this? Well, there's the official. The police check? The police check. But no Tom, Dick or Harry can order that, right? Don't you have to have rights?

No, Sergeant Dick can. Lieutenant Tom and Constable. And Finance Manager Harry. No, they've got to have your permission. So you've got to fill out the form and sign it and then the organisation can run a background check on you, like a police check. Yes, because any time I've had a police check run on me,

all clear. All clear. Yeah, you do. You get an email saying this person wants to run your permission, you give a form. Well, apparently, Finding Love in 2023 involves running background checks on the people that they're meeting online.

And one in six people are doing this. So I would say they are running background checks informally as in stalking their socials. Yeah, probably. Because you can't just run a police check on someone. Yeah. So you'd be stalking Facebook, you'd be stalking Instagram, LinkedIn. Going right back.

Although, let's not go past a good old-fashioned Google. Yes, that's true. It could pop up that they won the pumpkin growing competition at the local town fair. And that's fodder for chat. Yes, pumpkins. I like them. But would you bring that up?

Like on a date, I Googled you and I found out that you like pumpkins. No, no, no, but if you really liked them, you'd get the menu and they'd say, what would you like to order, ma'am? And you'd say, I think I'm going to have the pumpkin soup. And then they might go, oh, I love a bit of pumpkin. And I'd be like, I love pumpkin. I've always wished to grow them.

Cue natural conversation. It's a little creepy. And then he'll say, well. Garth, grow them for what is what I'm being hung up. What would you grow them for? I mean, there's only so many pumpkins you could eat. Maybe I'd have to like. You'd eat pumpkins?

They're my best friends. I grow them to be large and they're my best friends and I live inside them. Really? My name is Peter, by the way. Peter, Peter, pumpkin grower. Or it's that guy that, do you remember that guy that canoed down a river last year in that giant pumpkin? Oh my God, and he said it hurt so much. Yes.

That he got a really sore bum. I love that. Okay, but if you were single, because you haven't been single in the dating app era. Yeah, I know, but let's not write it off yet. But you would do this, right? One hundred percent. Everyone does it. I Google lots of people all the time.

Yeah, right. If I meet people and I'm interested in them. Okay. Well, okay, I think we should take some calls. Absolutely. Have you? Have you done this? Have you done this?

But what did you find out? Like maybe you just started dating someone or you matched on Tinder or Bumble or Happn or whatever. Quick Goog. And then, yeah, what did you find out? And maybe you were like, okay, I'm not dating this person anymore. Because, you know, like news articles always come up. Yes.

Like because with us, because we're, you know, massively famous. Obviously, if you Google our names, it's usually interviews we've done in the news. But if you weren't, if you were just a normie and you Googled your name, but you had been, you know, you'd taken a bat to a car and then robbed a bank with it, that would come up. That would come up. Maybe you've done something like that. Okay, 0800 dials at Emerson number.

Give us a call. You can text as well, 9696. Have you run a background check on a date? And if so, what did you find? We have asked you if you have ever run a background check On an online date You know maybe you've been swiping on the apps You find someone you like And before you take things further

Or go on a meet up date You've tried to find out If they are a murdering criminal Or anything else Or a vegetarian Or they've got a weird Yes Or they've got a weird hobby

Maybe And you're like Well I couldn't see myself Growing to you know Love this person And be in a relationship Yes And then having to go to marching Every weekend or they've got a weird hobby. Maybe. And you're like, well, I couldn't see myself growing to, you know, love this person and be in a relationship and then having to go to marching every weekend. Could you imagine that? I can see that coming.

No, you couldn't. They would be lucky to be invited. I'd go to the performances. I wouldn't go to the practices. No. Not performances. They're competitions. I'd go to the days where they strap on their boots.

He is a bit thick. Is he dumped? He's a little bit. Flop about. Yeah, but I like Andy. Right. So have you ever run a background check on somebody? Anonymous joins us.

Anonymous, what did you find out about someone before a date? Hello. So a bit of a weird story. But I was interviewing this guy for a job. Yeah. And I had a little bit of a crush on him when I was interviewing him. That's unprofessional, Anonymous. That's really unprofessional. That's why it's An job. Yeah. And I had a little bit of a crush on him when I was interviewing him. That's unprofessional, Anonymous. That's really unprofessional.

That's why it's anonymous. Yeah. And I got to do a background check as part of my professional requirements. Oh, okay. So when I saw him on Tinder,

I was like, absolutely swiping right. Yeah. But lucky, just green flags only through the background check. Nothing embarrassing. So it was all good to go.

So you abused your professional privilege of getting to know this man intimately with his background check. Yes. To make sure that he wasn't a psycho to go on a date with him. Yeah. But that only shows he hasn't broken the law yet, doesn't it? But it doesn't...

He has the potential to be a criminal. Yeah, did you do more like, did you try to stalk socials as well? Yeah, but nothing there either, which means all good things I'm thinking. Okay. Yeah, because it sucks when people have their profiles on lockdown, right? I know. You've got a request, you're like, just let me look. Just let me have a little look.

Just let me have a look. Let me have a little taste. Let me have a little taste. Let me have a little look. If they send you, if you link, you shouldn't be on lockdown. There should be some sort of preview. Yeah, like a selected five. Like if they send you a friend request and you're looking at the little photo and you're like, I don't know who that is. You should be able to get a little taste.

Yeah, anonymous thanks, of course. A message is in. Whenever you run a background check on somebody, yourself, before a date. Ruby said everything. I found out about his family history, his address. Ruby, you're a creep. You did a drive-by. You did a drive-by to see the state of his heart.

Yes. You could probably pay to do a license plate check too. If he owes money on the car. Yes, if it's been reported and stolen. Just chuck it on Car Jam. That'll tell you your basics. No, but they're tracked because my dad used to run a finance company. And so he was able to do police checks, credit checks, and vehicle checks.

And I remember I used to ask him, like, can you do a credit check on me just to see? And he was like, yeah, but then you'll get bad credit because it looks like a finance company is like consistently looking at your credit. Yeah, yeah. That's interesting that it benefits your credit. And same if you did a car check on my car, it would come up and I would know. And then you'd be like, who's doing a car check on it? You just get an email.

Do you? Yeah. Someone checked your car. Yeah. If you pay to do the full thing. Yeah, just do the free car jam. Yeah. Kat says, I Facebook stalked a Tinder match

and found he was not racist, but, and never ended up going on that Tinder date. Yeah. Carolyn says he just got out of prison for assault. I found his name in a news article about the assault. Oh, wow. Okay. Didn't go on that date.

Good girl. Good girl. Good girl. Stace says, I found out that he'd been in and out of prison for the last seven years and had only been out one week. Oh, wow. I'm sure the ankle monitoring bracelet would have given that away. Bit of a dig of a way.

During the day. Yeah. Merrick said he'd been convicted of selling stolen goods on Trade Me. Wow. Yeah. So people would have ran their own little background checks and found out. Yeah, someone that's, you know, fraudulently selling goods on Trade Me is not going to be a great partner, are they?

Or are they a hustler? And you know that for the future together, they're not going to be a great partner, are they? Or are they a hustler? Or are they? And you know that for the future together, they're always going to be hustling for you. They're always going to be hustling for you. Yeah. Never going to be out of a job, always hustling. But then how do you know that they're going to hustle for you and not hustle you?

Oh, shoot. Yeah. I think it was Beyonce that said that. Hustlers be hustling you. Hustlers be hustling for you. Hustlers be hustling. Hustlers, hustlers, hustlers. Was it? Yep. Wordsustlers be hustling. Hustlers, hustlers, hustlers.

Was it? Yep. Words to live by. Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day you know that farmed salmon are deaf? Pardon? Pardon?

Literally? What? What? What? Hey! Well, no, no. Have you ever tried to listen underwater? Salmon farms are really, really noisy,

but it's not the noise that makes them deaf. Okay. So maybe their deafness is sort of a gift in this situation. Ah, because then they don't have to put up with it. Yeah, too much noise. It's because they grow them too fast. They're an accelerated growth in farmed salmon. Wild salmon take longer to grow. We're growing them too fast. They're an accelerated growth in farmed salmon. Wild salmon take longer to grow.

We're growing them too fast, and the little crystals in the ears called otoliths don't grow as quick. Now, they're sort of like little crystals. My crystals got out of whack once, and I got vertigo. We have them. That's what I was going to say. Our ones aren't necessarily used for hearing as much as they're used for balance. And knowing which way gravity is pulling and linear acceleration.

Because when I got vertigo, it was the weirdest thing in the world. Like the craziest feeling. And then I went to the doctor and she said my crystals were out of whack. And I said, babe, I'm at the doctor for a reason. Are you a doctor or are you a crazy? Yeah, I bloody charged my amethyst last night. She's like, no, ear crystals. And if they get out of balance, you get out of balance. That's amazing.

That's where they sit and they have to be pointing a certain way and they sit against your ear and work with your balance. Which way are they pointing? Towards the moon. Well, there's one that points up. That's your gravity one. And then one that points sideways, and that's your lineal acceleration. So you can tell how fast you're going.

We're like a Segway with a gyroscope. Yeah. Wow. Except crystals. So they, fish, use it for hearing. Right. And because these fish, these salmon are growing so quick, they're growing too big for their little ear crystals,

which can't keep up. Because they're not growing with the food that the salmon are being fed. They grow at the same rate, regardless of how fast the body around them is growing. So it means that it's not touching the sides, and the salmon can't hear. So it just skips it, just skips that bit. Yeah.

And so they're not registering as much sound. You could say all sorts of nasty things to them. Yeah. You're not as nice as tuna. Yeah. Although it is nicer. Excuse me, I can lip read. I can see what you're saying.

Oh, God. I could read your little mouth, your fish mouth. I'm so sorry. You should be. Not as good as tuna. But salmon is better than tuna. Salmon is. Oh, a steak of salmon.

All the time. And the omega-3s. Yeah. If I had to live on one meat for the rest of my life and I was thinking about my health, it'd be salmon. Wouldn't it be chicken? Oh, high in fact, though. I'd get bored.

I'd get bored. You can do more with chicken than you can salmon. Everything you can do with chicken, you can do with salmon. No, but chicken you can take on any flavour. Salmon is so flavour. Yeah. Yum. Yeah, I think you'd get sick of it.

You made a big call there, Vaughn. I know I made a big call. I think you'll regret this call. It's absurd, but I've thought about it. No, when you have more time today to think about it, I might ask you later at the Ed Sheeran concert. I will think endlessly about this. Mid-Ed Sheeran concert.

When he plays Shape of You, I want you to turn to me and say, now what meat would you eat for the rest of your life? You'll get, like, gout. It's so rich. Who cares? I think you'll agree your answer. I'm just saying. I'd probably go beef.

Okay. I just love red meat. Oh, God, you're dying. Again, you're all over the place. I know, blah, blah, blah. I want you to have a good think before you settle on an answer. The answer is clearly chicken. The answer is clearly chicken.

It's clearly chicken. Yeah. Thighs. Thighs. Yeah, I know. Don't tell me I'm eating breasts for the rest of my life. That dry, stringy nonsense. Yeah.

Let me suck The succulent thigh Off the bone I am again Talking about chicken Yes Eating nothing but chicken Well salmon don't have

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not on like grassy farms, you know, the ones that you see in big open water, are deaf. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Silly Little Pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole today.

When on Solante, or sorry, I was just dipping my toe into another one of the many languages I speak. Silent. That's your phone, eh? Phone I speak. Silent. Does your phone. Phone. Vibrato. Vibrate. I don't think you know what you're saying. Da?

Oh, sorry. Bloody hell, I'd slipped in there. Or na? Da. Da or na? So, okay. When your phone's on silent, does it vibrate? You can turn this on and off.

This is up to you. This is at your discretion. See, I have the do not disturb sleep mode. Nothing vibrates. How good is do not disturb mode? Nothing comes through. But when I'm here now, I'm on silent, but it will go. Same.

Oh, no, mine's gone off. You have no vibrating at all. No vibrating. Okay. No vibrating. Do you ever, on your watch, put your phone onto theater mode? What's theater mode? You swipe up and it's this happy face, theatre mode. What's theatre mode? You swipe up and it's this happy face, sad face.

What does that do? It puts it on like I'm in the movies and I shan't be disturbed. It's like a quick do not disturb. But that's the drama masks. That's for live theatre. That's what I'm saying. It's theatre mode. No one's going to the theatre, I can tell you.

Well, should they go to the theatre? They should, they should. They have the perfect setting for the theatre. Wow, I didn't even know that was there. I didn't know what that was about. Yeah, because I was sharing a room with my friend James when we went away over summer, and he, in the bed next to me,

we both had our phones on the table, and he sleeps with us on Vibrate. And I was like... Shade does this, and I crawl over her, and I literally, I don't go off the bed and around the bed, I crawl over her and swipe it down and put it on do not disturb. I was like, you're going to need to change that. Now, when you were away and sharing a room with James,

if one of you bought back a lover, what was your way of letting the other person know a lover had been purchased? Purchased, sorry. Acquired. Not purchased. You weren't paying. Wow. You weren't paying. Wow. You weren't paying.

Was there a sock on the door? Well, there was one. I don't want to give away too much, but there was one moment where I had to find something to do in a small town. Right. Because he had acquired a lover. You don't need to go into details. We don't need to go into details.

You had to go on your own. How long? I'm not going into details. I've said way too much. No, no, no. I'm going to on your own. How long? I'm not going into details. I've said way too much. How long did you have to entertain yourself? Not how long was the lover? I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do. Was the girth that got him?

Anyway. Anyway. When on silent does your phone vibrate? Okay, you're in trouble for these comments, not me. I'm not in trouble. I'm not playing along with this. Yes, 65% of people have their phone on vibrate when it's on silent. 35% of people said no.

So 35% no, it's 35% silent is silent. Okay, 65% silent vibrates. Silent vibrates. Interesting. Because the vibrator goes... We should have asked that. But do you think that's for sleeping as well? Oh, fuck off.

It's got to be, right? What? I almost swore. I know you did. You did swear. I did swear. I thought I stopped myself before the final syllable. It just stresses me out as someone that wants to get to sleep.

You got F-U-C, but you didn't hit the count. I got a soft... I got... As someone that just needs to get to sleep and stay asleep for the best they can for as long as they can and I love my sleep I can't have it vibrating you're monsters

I get it during a meeting Kathy says it's so I secretly don't miss my messages or calls at work so it's a discretion but it's still an alert usually I'm silent when at the movies or meetings but I still want to check so it still vibrates if I don, but I still want to check. So it still vibrates.

If I don't and I just want to be totally uncontactable, such as when I'm sleeping, it's do not disturb mode. Do not disturb. Apple Watch, baby. That's all somebody says. Yeah. Because you can turn that to vibrate. Your phone can not vibrate, but your watch can. Is that correct?

Yes. But also, you don't want that vibrating when you're sleeping. No. Or take it off. You sleep with yours on. Technically want that vibrating when you're sleeping. No. Or take it off. I take mine off. Technically, you die while you're sleeping. That's what makes me wake up is my wrist vibrating. It's way nicer than an alarm. When do you charge it?

When do you charge? I have a little charge in the evening for like half an hour, an hour. Controversial. Why is that controversial? Controversial. I'm closing my rings. You're getting them calories, baby. You're getting them last calories.

I've already closed my rings. Unlike you who didn't close your ring. Oh, my God. I was on a 100-day streak. And then I even walked home from the pub for a bit. And then Aaron picked me up on the side of the road so I could close my rings. And I thought I'd done it. I looked.

And I was just short. And I thought, oh, my God, I have to do. And you fell asleep. Fell asleep with a watch on. And you took yourself the streak. Midnight. Yeah. Streak ruined.

Wow. Okay, we'll start again. Yeah, with a watch on. And you could, midnight, streak ruined. Wow. Okay, we'll start again. Yeah, I started again on Monday. Lisa says, I have my phone on me at work, so we'll feel it on my ass

and my watch. And then I look at my watch and I decide if I need to get my phone out of my pocket. Oh yes, if it's important enough. She must have a standing job. You wouldn't have your phone in your pocket

if you were sat. Or it might be nice. No, my phone does not vibrate when it's on silent, but my stupid Or it might be nice. No, my phone does not vibrate when it's on silent, but my stupid Garmin watch vibrates. Oh, okay.

That's because you've got a Garmin. You've got a Garmin. How embarrassing. Yeah, George has got a Garmin. Oh, look, there it is. Ew.

Garmin. Garmin. She looks so sad, it's because she's got a Garmin. What are you, lost in the forest? Are you doing a trail run?

No, it's great for when she's playing golf, apparently. Oh, it's a golf thing, isn't it's great for when she's playing golf, apparently. All the time. She's a fanatic. You can't get her off the course. Oh, God. Hannah says, I don't care if someone's trying to get a hold of me. Silent is silent. Yeah, right. And

Courtney says, I'm absolutely exhausted from getting notifications. I just leave my phone on Do Not Disturb and I just will check it at my own discretion. I like that. I like that. That's cool. That's wild. You're unreachable. What if the emergency happens? The emergency. I don't know why I said the emergency. It's like going to sleep. If

you're on Do Not Disturb, you can set it so that your important contacts like your parents or your besties can get through if they call. Yeah, just like Baycorp and all the other people chasing you. Shoot, I haven't played that ever. You better do that. Oh, they're coming for you. Not again.

I've got a dating term, and I know you're always like them. This one is called anecdating. So anecdotes and dating going together? God, you're a smart boy. Did you go to Queen Margaret College, private or girls' school in Wellington? No, actually I went to a decile. What's the worst one?

One. Oh, one. Oh, ten. Ten is where it's at. Sorry, no, I went to a decile one primary school and then a decile, I want to say, five or six intermediate in college. Wow.

Yeah. You figured out that anecdoting is the combination of anecdotes and dating. And you know what else? I know the right there, there, your, your. No, no, no. The other day though, didn't he say? I know.

In the group chat, he said your and your and the second one was wrong. And then like 10 lines down the track, you corrected it. I know because I read it and I was like, oh my God, I can't believe like my phone did that. Not me. And then so I put the right your in because you cannot leave it uncorrected for normal notice. I didn't like my phone did that, not me. And then so I put the right you're in because you cannot leave an uncorrected, vulnerable notice. I didn't like it. No.

He didn't like it. And his respect, your respect for Fletch popped down a bit? And then popped back up. Popped back up. Because I noticed. I noticed. You made a mistake.

My phone always does me dirty on where, where. Oh, where. Yes. And always where. Where and we are. Yeah. We're on our way and it always changes to we're on the way.

Yeah. Why does it do that? Get and we are. Yeah. We're on our way and it always changes to we're on the way. Yeah. Why does it do that? Get out of it. I put the apostrophe... I put them into the effort of clicking the up thing and putting an apostrophe in. Yeah. Don't do me like that.

It's annoying. Don't do me dirty like that. So when are they going to just put in the swear words? Oh my God, ducking. I'm not ducking. All the time. You're ducking kidding me? Yeah.

I'm done with that. Okay, so anecdating is when you are dating and the primary reason you're dating is that you've got a good yarn for your mates. No. Do you know, I actually listened to a podcast. It's terrible. I was listening to a podcast, great podcast,

iHeartRadio, and it's all about modern love. What's the podcast called? Modern Love. Oh, okay. And it's all about, love. What's the podcast called? Modern Love. Oh, okay. And it's all about, it's these New York Times stories about little essays about love. And one of them was someone's friend was dying. Yeah. And they had been off the, and then the friend of this dying friend had been out of the dating scene for ages

and got back into it so that she could go to the hospital and tell her good yarns about all the crap dates she was going on, that's anecdating. So to keep you guys entertained, right, if I was single, he's hooping this year, if I was single, I would go on dates just so I could come to you guys and be like,

ugh, last night, and tell this really great yarn about the dates that have been going on. So even if it was terrible, you've got a good story out of it. I've got a good story out of it, so it doesn't matter because I'm anecdating. But then you're going on all these terrible dates. Yeah. So 65% of people on this dating app said that at least when the date doesn't go to plan or it's a bad date, at least they know they'll have a good, funny, memorable anecdote to

share with their friends. Wasn't this 90% of sex in the city? Yeah. Or just the entire storyline? Well 90% of sex in the city? Yeah. Or just the entire storyline? Well, that's what she wrote about. Yeah. And that's what they talked about. Sex in the city.

And? Or in the city? And. Sex and the city. I thought it was sex in the city. No, it's sex and the city. It's the relationship that she's having

with people and the city. Oh, right. Okay. Were you today years old? No, I think I had heard people, but I just never watched it. I always say sex in the city and I say I had heard people But I just never watched it I always say sex in the city

And I say it's in Like an in Because it kind of covers both bases Yeah As in rock and roll Rock and roll Or in as in inside the city But do you think that's bad though

That people are going on these dates? I mean Because you could still find someone That you like really connect with And then the story is I've met a person That I had a good, great connection with. And so you've still got a good story.

Yeah. And if you had bad date after bad date after bad date, you can kind of allow yourself to just be like, ah, and not give up or be like, oh, there's no one out there. Because your mindset is, oh, at least I got a good story out of it. Yeah. That's anecdotal.

Oh. Who did your tummy go to? Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That's anecdotal. Oh. I just heard your tummy go. Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Ah, not for me. Okay. Oh, no, nowhere even close.

No, nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. Oh, you haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating? ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.