ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 2nd May 2022

Episode Date: May 1, 2022

Carweeens B&E  Top 6: Annual Leave  Date Disasters  Anniversary Meatloaf  Silly Little Poll!  Vaughan was asked a Question  Am I a Bad Person!?  Nadia Lim!  Hayley's Bloody HairSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCamp. They grab any size McCamp coffee for only $4 conditions apply. And I'll tell you what, I put up a story quite early this morning on my way to work. You did, 5am. And it has been popping off.

Is that what you say? I think that, is that the correct term, Carween? Carween, what do I say when it's going really well and getting high engagement rates with the people on Instagram? Do we say popping off? It's insights of popping off. We have no choice but to stan the SoshMed queen. Oh my God, don't do that, please.

Stop him, please. What do we do? Just great insights. Do I just say great insights? It's kicking off do that, please. I hate this character. Stop him, please. What do we do? Just great insights. Do I just say great insights? It's kicking off. Yeah, sure. Kicking off? It's popping off.

What would you say? It's popping off. Okay, it's popping off. So I walked out the front door of my apartment this morning and I just noticed some rubbish in the gutter and I was like, God, this neighborhood, the crime, the tagging. It's absolutely, it's going to hell in a handbasket. We need a new central police station.

The kids ram-raided a toy world. Yeah, there's ram-raids everywhere, and now there's rubbish in the gutter. And I look down, and I see a shape, and I'm like, I know that shape. I recognise that. I recognise that from a mile away. Is that what you thought?

I thought, is that Grimace? Grimace is rounder. I was like, initially, I was like, Oh, you would Grimace. The bloody size of this one. And it is,

I'll just let my, it's on my Instagram story if you see this, if you're hearing this in the next 24 hours. Yes. The Screaming O, it is a vibrating XL butt plug

how-to warranty card. So you plug it and you vibrate it. Well, yeah, apparently it's, yeah. It's a lot. You can see that's grimace. It is grimace. If it's purple. Yeah, I know.

And I tell you what, yeah, like. You'd have to have a bloody. So that means that somebody opened that, like, on their way home. On route to usage. Or in their car and they just chucked it out. Well, maybe they opened the door and it fell out of the car. Or they put it in their, you know, CBD bin and it blew out. Yeah, a bin could have been tipped over.

But sometimes when you're heading for a hookup, you knowup You don't want to waste any time when you get there Opening up the plastic and the likes Opening up the what? Opening up the plastic Oh right, okay Opening up the plastic when you get there So maybe you were travelling to a hookup And you were like, I've got to quickly

I've got a brand new butt plate My old one's absolutely torn to shreds And so you opened it en route Wow, it's, yeah, it's bringing, yeah, a lot opened it on the on route it's um yeah it's um bringing yeah a lot of messages and vibrating what is it made out of well it just looks like it's whatever they're made like a silicon yeah you said that very quickly so it's silicon well you said that your last one had had been torn to shreds but like silicons literally you can bake muffins and silicon like it's a wonderfully resilient material.

Yeah, but if the dog gets it as well. Because one of those, I saw one of those things. Yeah, the Kong toys. They look like. What's a Kong toy? A Kong is a dog chewy toy. It's a fact of the day. A guy who owned a Volkswagen repair shop said his dog loved chewing on the Volkswagen's air suspension.

Yeah. And so he turned them into a dog twin it made millions and millions of dollars. Yeah, I remember those. Maybe that butt plug's made out of that. Super resilient. Or maybe, yeah maybe. It's just a question for the manufacturing sector. Hey, I'm not here to kink shame anybody. Absolutely not, enjoy it. If you want to do that at 5am

in my neighbourhood, absolutely fine, but please pick up your rubbish. Pick up your rubbish. That's the moral of the story. My wife, however, would like to connect shame. She said, I just got to the gym and a lady that is in the same class as me said, I just heard your husband talking about his pubes on the radio. Now that's something you can look forward to hearing in the podcast today.

Sade hates this. So maybe if I do talk about personal things in the future and you hear it, enjoy it in the moment, but no need to tell my wife that you also heard her husband being a silly boy talking about silly things. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Monday. It's going to be a long week, guys.

Yeah. No short week. We're going to feel every day. Every day. Yeah. Five out of five days. No, no, no. It's a fun, free week.

Although it does smell like meatloaf in here. Oh, yeah. I love it. Of course, I'm burping it up as well. She did a little vomit in her mouth before. I did. I did one of those little burps and it all sort of came back up, mixed with water. You've had meatloaf for breakfast.

Hayley beat me to the microwave this morning. So I go to put my oats in the microwave and it just smells like meatloaf. Tangy barbecue meat. Pretty sure my oats, my porridge had a tinge of meat to it. It's very meat. That's exactly what meatloaf is. It's just a loaf of meat. Oh boy, did I make one hell of a meatloaf.

It smelled good. I'll give you that. Smelled good. Yeah, thanks. Coming up on the show this morning, before seven, I'm going to give you a chance to win. We have our Netflix quiz coming up. Actually watching Ozark.

The last episodes came out on Friday. I'm behind. I haven't even watched the previous season. Behind. The first part. I'm behind. I haven't even watched the previous season. Behind. The first part. Yeah, right. I haven't watched it. Oh, you haven't.

Oh, it's amazing. I've got three eps left. So we're going to quiz you on Netflix. Before 7 this morning, with our competition, a chance for you to win a 12-month Spark broadband plan with Netflix. So listen out for the Activator Your Chance before seven this morning. The top six on the way as well. Yeah, companies are trailing unlimited annual leave.

If you get your work done, you can have some days off. Here in New Zealand. Surely unlimited means there's still a limit. You can't take 300 days. Well, if you can get all your work done in the remaining 65 days of the year. Yeah, true, you just get fired. I'm not saying that's not a problem. And if you can. And your work done in the remaining 65 days of the year, you're saying that's

not a problem. And if you can, that's a part-time job. I feel like Bourne would be the court case that tests unlimited annual leave. We'll be sitting here every morning being like, you reckon Bourne's taking some annual leave today? It's the annual leave lottery. Sure. But

the top six dealing with this unlimited annual leave And how I would indeed Try and really push I think you could come up With some inventive holidays To get some days Or weeks off

Speaking of lottery Did it go? Yeah it did One person Wow congratulations Was it me? I haven't checked my ticket I don't want to scan

My ticket live on air But let's imagine if it is Oh my god And then you have to read. Because then if it's $12 million, I will be taking forever annually. No, I don't think it was me. No, it wasn't me. We'll just get it.

Oh, you can't scan it. We can't scan it. I never got a ticket. I never get a ticket unless it's a big one. And I saw the poster and I was like, well, I've got to, it's $12 million. I thought you were going to say you didn't get one. I was like, what, is $12 million not big enough for you? Not big enough. No, $12 is when I start. Yeah, I think this is well, I've got to. It's 12 million. I thought you were going to say you didn't get one. I was like, what, is 12 mil not big enough for you?

Not big enough. No, 12 is when I start. Yeah, I think this is about when I get in. 12 or 16 is when I start dipping a toe. And then I lose and I'll be like, that's me for six months. Yeah. Yeah. But no, not you, I don't think, Vaughan.

You can't check the app because it doesn't open until 6.30 because you're not allowed to gamble this early. It's the Lord's Hour. I don because you're not allowed to gamble this early. Yeah. It's the Lord's Hour. I don't think we're allowed to gamble at work. Oh, really? You can't go on the Lotto website. Oh, really? Just in case you spend all your income on it.

Cheeky. It's pretty to stop vampires. Yeah, that too. You know what they're like. If they're awake, they're prolific gamblers. Yeah. Burger lovers, rejoice. We've got a new burger joint coming to town in Auckland only,

but they are going to be opening in multiple locations. We can only leave Queenstown as next. Right. Bloody love a burger. I love a burger. I love a burger. What's it missing? Tell me what's it missing.

Nothing. It's got it all. It's got meat. It's got meat. Cheese. Bread.? Tell me what's it missing. Nothing. It's got it all. It's got meat. It's got meat. Cheese. Bread. Pickles. Sauce.

Pickles. Tang. I love it so much. You can have a sweet one. You can have like a hot one. You can have a cold one. You can have a cold one in the morning. Oh, that's sad, babe.

That's real sad. If you're eating a cold burger for breakfast. No, you just wake up. It's in bed with you already. Why not? Well, you shamed me for eating meatloaf for breakfast and you're having a cold burger for breakfast. No, you just wake up, it's in bed with you already. Why not? Well, you shamed me for eating meatloaf for breakfast and you're having a cold cheeseburger. It's Wahlburgers, which is, of course, the Wahlberg family,

Mark Wahlberg's family. They've got a burger joint. They've got a reality show about it. Yeah, his brother is a chef. Brother's a chef. Chef brother and then there's Donnie and then there's Mark. And then there's Mark. Right.

It's coming to the Wharf. This is the bit that's confusing us. In Auckland. Yeah, I thought it was kind of like a dinery vibe, you know, like a sort of chips and burger joint. But it's going to the old Euro on Princess Wharf, which is a fancy restaurant. And so it's going to be old Euro on Princess Wharf, which is a fancy restaurant. And so it's going to be like a full

sit down. Euro? Yeah. The white one? Yeah. Both the people and the food. And the decor. And the decor, yeah. What about the Euro? Shut down. RIP, yeah. COVID. I went there once when work took

us, but I never paid for myself. Same. Oh, I actually went once with Sade. We got given a voucher. Okay. And Dan Carter and Honor Carter were sitting. Oh. Right.

A couple of tables over. This is why it went under, because only people went when they had a voucher or work was paying. Yeah. Or you were an international rugby superstar. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's going there. 240 capacity.

It's going to create 75 jobs in Auckland. Does this mean we'll get Mark Wahlberg over for the opening? No, we'll get a dud. We'll get a dud Wahlberg. We'll get a dud Wahlberg. Yeah, we've got Donnie vibes, New Zealand. Maybe Mark wants to get out and see the world. Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe. Good excuse to get out And see the world Maybe Maybe Maybe Good excuse to get down to Ultero The burgers look good But I will say this They say that the menu's gonna be Not the same as the American one It's gonna be influenced by New Zealand cuisine

Huh So it'll have like Lamb burgers I guess Right Kiwi fruit burgers Kiwi fruit Yeah Yeah

Kumara burgers Yeah but Kumara Fijoa burgers Yeah I guess. Wrong. Kiwi fruit burgers. Kiwi fruit, yeah. Kumara burgers. Yeah, but kumbra. Feijoa burgers. Yum. Yum. Feijoa and beetroot. Yeah.

Double brown burgers. Yeah, yeah. Low-end booze burgers. Tadakiji burgers. Yeah. Kiwi meat burgers. You've just done the whole menu. Done the menu. Easy.

I'm in. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, millennials, those aged between 24 and 34. That's me. That's you, 32. I've just said your age there. Wait, that's not right. What do you mean?

24 and 34. Yeah. I'm always like upper crust millennial. No, you're a boomer. I'm not a boomer. You're a boomer in a millennial's body. I'm pretty sure you're a baby boomer. I've definitely got a boomature. What's the one after baby boomers?

Gen X. No, the other side. The silent generation. Yeah, you're pretty much a silent generation, old mate. Why are they called the silent generation? Because they didn't make a fuss. They just got on with it. Got on with it, head down. They came back from war generation? Because they didn't make a fuss. They just got on with it. They came back from war.

No, they didn't go to war. It was their parents that went to war. Oh, well, what are the war ones called? Millennials? No, yeah. The great generation?

Millennials born, it's a little bit longer. 26 to 41 in general. Okay. Well, this study, let me give you. The lost generation. The lost, that's the one. 18 me give you. The lost generation. The lost, that's the one.

1883 to 1900. The greatest generation, 1901 to 1924. I think they were in charge of naming generations by the sense of the word. The silent generation, 1925 to 1945. Boomers, baby boomers, 46 to 64. Gen X, 65. 46 to 64, that's a big boomer. Boomer is two decades.

It's two, yeah. Yeah. Whereas 15 years for Gen X from 65 to 80. Gen Y, 81 to 96. Gen Y is millennials. I always thought that was millennials. Gen Z, 97 to 2012. Generation Alpha, 2013 to 2025.

Alpha? Yeah. Is that a grip? Are they going to be your kids? Are 2013 to 2025. Alpha? Yeah. Are they going to be your kids? Are they going to be Alpha? Well, yeah. Indy's 2012, so she's the very tail end of Gen Z. But yeah, more of probably that generation Alpha. Wow. Well, this study looked at 25 to 35 year olds here in New Zealand

in the workplace and here they're not happy. Are you happy? No. I'm so glad you brought this up. I hate working here. This is why we don't ask.

42% of millennials said that they would be looking for a new job this year. Wow, that's a big number. And at the moment, it's the job seeker's market, isn't it? Because companies are clambering to retain staff and offering all kinds of perks. I'm very happy in all of my jobs, but that's me. I like to add jobs. So when I get a new job, I just keep all the old ones as well. You're, what's, I can't say that word.

Weird? You're not allowed to say that anymore. Oh dear, what word was it? You I remember I talked to you About it once And someone asked you To do something on the weekend

And you're like Yeah I was like That's your weekend And you're like Oh I've never had weekends Because I've always done marching So I don't mind working weekends

I'm like The weekend is sacred Never give Never give anybody Your weekend Yeah I collect jobs Well you were used to being a freelancer though, aren't you? A freelancer, yeah.

Working bits and bits. You grab them and grab them and grab them when they come across. And now that I'm here in a more stable fixture, I guess, I haven't lost that mentality. So yeah, I'll get a new job this year. What do I want to do? Grab another one. I'm just handing them off. I could get a job at

Wahlburgers. Do you get free burgers? No. I'm just handing them off. I could get a job at Wahlburgers. Do you get free burgers? No. I don't need that either. Sorry, I was finishing another burp and it turned into a yawn. A burp yawn? A meatloaf burp? If you've just joined, I did have meatloaf for breakfast. Well, it must have been pre-5.30 because it was all yummed up by the time I got here.

I used the microwave. It was quarter past five. Yum. And it smelled like meat. I'm proud of you. It's never too early for meat life. Anyway, a relationship expert has shared the five most common money fights people in relationships are having, what they're caused by, and how to sort of get through them.

Right. What would your most common one be? Because you don't know this list. Vaughan? Most common money fight. Spending it. Yeah, well, that's number one. Drastically different spending habits?

I would say drastically, yeah, different spending priorities. Yes. Yeah, okay. Yes. So this is when maybe someone likes to treat themselves for something that's just for them. Yep. And, you know, maybe that's something that doesn't feed the relationship in any way. Like a dress, a new dress.

I think, see, this is where I will argue that that does feed the relationship. Yeah, because I look fantastic. Yeah, right. And Aaron likes that. Whereas Vaughn's power tool isn't doing anything. Yeah, but also sexy in its own way, isn't it? Yeah. Come out to the shed like, hey, do you want to go?

Oh, my Lord. Look at you on that weed whacker. Oh, if weed whackers are here, I think you should have been around my house yesterday. Whacking some weeds? Oh, whacking weeds. Hours of whacking weeds. How long were you whacking off for? Doing all theacking weeds. How long were you whacking off for?

Doing all the edging. I was out there whacking off all day. I did it all around the entire property. Yeah, right. And then there was just a garden with some weeds that have got to wow me a little bit. So I just whacked off in there. Yeah, wow. Down the driveway.

God, you must be tired when you got in. Yeah. Sore back. Yeah. You might have to come over to our house and whack off there. You've got a lot. Aaron struggles a bit. It would be great if he could do that.

Does he? I could come around. I could show him how to whack off. Yeah, it would be great. Great, yeah. Yeah, I'll get you guys some beers. Yeah. Do you use that one that, because I just remember growing up,

we did the weed whackers. It's got that plastic stuff in there and it always comes off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate that. And then you've got to feed it through again. Oh, no, no, no. I've got one that you wind it on. You wind a whole lot on and then you push the button in the top and pull yourself out a couple more inches. Oh, okay. Brutal

stuff. Add a couple. Anyway, drastically different spending habits. Plague people. 60% of people said that they, you know, one person in the relationship spends more than the other. They say to have a conversation, judgment free about what their values are because you're putting your money where your value is.

I value a $400 moochie dress. Aaron values a $200 bottle of whiskey. The second most common fight around money and relationships lack of transparency around debt, hiding debt, credit card debt, student loan debt, credit cards.

I mean, we all know, you'd know your partner's student loan debt, right? But are you talking about like someone signs up for a sneaky credit card? Yeah, got a bloody gym financing, you know, gym visa on the go so I could buy something I couldn't afford. Again, trust and communication. It's all about talking about it. Number three, expensive passion projects. Oh, like a hobby?

Yeah, a new hobby. Okay. I told you guys before, actually, I'm going to take up the drums again. Yeah, my problem is you've got to stick to it. I've got no problem with spending some money on a hobby. Famously, I love hobbies. Yeah, yeah. But I don't, you know, you've got to give it more than a couple of goes.

You had a partner with a model train set and he's like, oh, I just need a new station or a new mountain today. I guess like how much joy is it bringing them? Yeah. Because again, it's like how is it feeding me? If it makes you super happy in your life, you get your little choo-choo train, baby. I'd say make

your own hill. Out of paper mache. Teach a man to hill. Hill for a lifetime. He'll train his whole life. But what if you need a new level crossing? You can't just build one of those yourself. You've got to buy it from the model train. Have you seen these clowns at the council? Have you seen these clowns?

I can do that. What are my rates paying for? I love this. It says expensive passion projects can include things like fixing up old cars or launching niche businesses. Oh, people with car hobbies as well. Or saying to Aaron, I think I want to get into McCrame. I've got a light car hobby. One, my old Land Rover.

Yeah. The money you could spend on these things, insane. I know. I can just imagine that could be, yeah, like car parts are arriving. You're like, what is this? In this situation, they say to sit down. I mean, it's all talk. It's all communication.

Talk about it. Financial infidelity, hiding purchases. Oh. I've admitted to this on air. You infidelity, hiding purchases. Oh. I've admitted to this on air. You look very guilty. Yeah. Walk in a business account. That's got nothing to do with your SO.

I'm not even going to look at the advice on that one. I don't need to read it. And number six, sorry, number five, the last of the most common relationship fights about money, unexpected financial hardships. Things like COVID, losing jobs. most common relationship fights about money. Unexpected financial hardships. Things like COVID, losing jobs. Yeah.

Curveballs that life throws you. People argue about them. Yeah. The ever-growing cost of, rising cost of... Which we could have probably afforded... Renovation. If it wasn't for your model train hobby. Yeah, exactly. Have you seen the price of a capsicum?

We can't afford it. Because you bought a new engine for your stupid car. A capsicum. That is how expensive fruit and veg is, ladies and gentlemen. One capsicum will buy you a brand new engine. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Car Wayne at the social media desk is not just proficient in all things social media,

she's a criminal. Well, she's been the victim of crime as well. She's just, you're really in the system at the moment. Yeah, yeah. Running around in terrible circles. Yeah, I thought they've got me, I'm just going to try it out myself. Now, your Toyota Aqua was used to ram raid the Versace store on Queen Street in Auckland. Or a Sterling sports.

It was one of them. And now you have become the criminal. Yes. So on Friday afternoon, I was running late to get back to work for leaving drinks for Ben. And as I closed the door, I went, oh no. Oh no, I hate that feeling. Uh oh. Yeah, I realised my keys were inside still.

Yeah. I was like, it's all good. My flatmate's downstairs, was knocking. She wasn't hearing me. I went round the back because her bedroom has a door onto the ground. She's not there. And I was like, oh. Where had she gone?

No idea. She was out getting it. That's the only explanation. The only reasonable explanation for leaving. Yeah. What do you think I mean? Groceries. Carry on Carwain. And so I was

like, oh no. And in the process, my next door neighbour saw me frantically running around trying to call my landlord to see if they could come and lock the door, ringing my group chat with the flat to see if anyone's around. No one was. And she comes out and she's like, right, how do we break in? Oh, wow. She went there quickly.

Yeah, for sure. She was like, you've got to get in. We tried getting into the garage But it's an automatic door, it didn't work Oh yeah And then I discovered that the bathroom window Which is actually substantially quite big Was open

Fantastic Oh it's high though Is it a high bathroom window? In fact on the second story of the house Oh okay So we grabbed a ladder She said I'll hold on and I won't look up In fact, on the second story of the house. Oh, okay. Right. So we grabbed a ladder. She said, I'll hold on and I won't look up because I was, in fact, wearing a dress.

She loves her dresses, Carween. This neighbour is like, let's break in. I won't look up. Yeah. I love this neighbour. No, she's like my second mum. She's lovely. Oh, that's cool.

Don't tell your first mum. She's not like, your first mum's dead or anything. My first mum is aware of the second mum. Okay, good. And so I pulled myself into this window and fell into the bathtub. You did it. So from the ground floor, you got in through a second floor bathroom window. Yeah, so there's a bit of a staircase that kind of helped with the height, but it was mostly me climbing to the very top of the

ladder, which was terrifying. And you never go on the top stair. No, but I had to. And then pushing my weight in and then falling into the bathtub. You're talking like you've never climbed through a window before. No. Have you never climbed through a Why? When I was a kid, I used to get told off

all the time because I'd just be like, oh my God, the window. And I'd just go, whoop. I'd be in my bedroom and I'd be like, oh, I've got to go outside. I'll just go out the window. And just whoop, out the window. And I think it's a genetic thing because my sister's kids, like, love climbing out windows. Her boys are

just like, we looked out, we were at Mum and Dad's and looked out the window. They were climbing out the toilet window. You know toilet windows are always like little Out they go I just love climbing In and out of windows It's on your ancestry.com It's like It's a trait

Part Scottish Irish Climbs out windows a lot Yeah yeah yeah Wet sticky air wax Loves climbing out windows Well I'm glad you got in Carl Wayne You should get a rock

Outside a fake rock With a key in it To stop this happening again Everyone needs an outdoor key We just don't have spare keys I'm glad you got in, Carl Wayne. You should get a rock outside, a fake rock with a key in it. Everyone needs an outdoor key. We just don't have spare keys. I guess we should ask the landlord. Get a spare key. Don't just cut them.

Go and cut one. Okay. I've got a hot spot. I don't know you could do that. I don't own that. Oh, my God. Does your key say do not copy? I don't know. Maybe.

No, it'll have a little tab on it. If it doesn't say do not copy, you'll be able to get a new one for like $5. Oh, okay. And you'll be able to pick your colour. And maybe even have Lisa Simpson on it or something. Oh, yeah, they do. I don't know why I went with Lisa Simpson for you. Are you a Lisa Simpson fan?

I've never watched Simpson. You scream Lisa Simpson. She's got big Lisa Simpson vibes. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Hey, a New Zealand founded software company.

Excuse me. It's very unprofessional. I'm into the crook, but it's wearing a leather jacket. It's pretty wet. Apologize to everybody, please. Sorry. I apologize for sneezing. To the listeners as well. A New Zealand founded software company is offering its employees unlimited annual leave.

What would this look like? Well, it means that there's no cap on days off. So if you get all your work done, you can... Have time off? You can have time off. You can take a long weekend. If you're meeting the agreed-upon markets. But then could they fire you because you're meeting the agreed upon markets. But then could they fire you

because you're not working hard enough? Like if you weren't doing your job? That would be the thing. If you were smashing out a week's worth in three days, they'll just give you more work, right? This is what I think. Because you don't have a finite amount of work, right?

You finish what you're working on and yeah, you move on to the next thing. I remember reading an article, American companies tried this, and people didn't take the piss because they don't want to lose their job or they don't want to, you know, they want to progress up the ladder. Yeah. And so they feel like they can't take too many. Because it would still be noted, wouldn't it? 100%.

Like you still apply for it and then take it? Yeah, the people that take the piss out of it are the sort of people that are unproductive when they're at work anyway. Yeah. So maybe it would actually encourage them to get it done. Sounds like a great workplace for me. How many would you take?

Yeah, but imagine with the radio, just people tune in in the morning and there's just radio silence. Nothing, music. Yeah, but imagine with the radio, just people tune in in the morning and there's just radio silence. Nothing. Music. Yeah, it's not going to work, obviously, for every industry out there. But I've got the top six reasons

I'll need some annual leave. Okay. With unlimited annual leave. Number six on the list, June 4th I'll need off. Yep. That's National Hug Your Cat Day. And my cat died.

I don't want to talk about it. But I do have another cat. You've got another cat. You've got another cat. So that'll be a long weekend for you, will it? Yeah. And maybe Queen's birthday weekend. So will that be an extra one?

I'll take another one on there. Okay, yeah. So are you going to go a Friday and a Monday? Well, I'm Monday-izing my cat hugging day. Oh, yeah. But what if it's on a Wednesday? You have to take Tuesday, Thursday. You might as well take Friday.

You know you've got unlimited. Just take the whole week. Take the week. Oh, I'm not taking the piss. Okay, right. I'm not lazy. Okay, yeah, right. I'm just doing this, you know, for my cat.

While we're in June, June 18, number five on the list of the top six reasons I'm going to need some time off with unlimited annual leave. June 18, panic day. Oh, what about? What are'm going to need some time off with unlimited annual leave. June 18, panic day. Oh, what about? What are you going to panic about? Well, the idea is you're not supposed to panic on panic day. It's a day to identify that maybe you are panicking. Okay. But I was just thinking I might just panic. And just have it off. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So you don't panic at work. Yeah. Okay. Just have a real good panic. Yeah. But obviously

not at work. I don't want to bring those vibes into the workplace. I reckon think about some of the things you did as a teenager that you regret. That are just some helpful things

to get a panic going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something that you remember really clearly from 25 years ago but nobody else has any recollection of. Something you said

to your parents. Yeah. And let it just really run around in the head. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six reasons I'm going to need some time off, even though I've got unlimited annual leave.

I don't want anyone thinking I'm lazy, but I am going to need August 20th off. Oh, why? World Mosquito Day. Okay. Is that because you're going to hide from the mosquitoes inside? Yeah. Okay. You're just going to honour them.

I have a mosquito net. I was going to put a mosquito net up. This celebrates the day that somebody, a biologist, recognised that mosquitoes could carry disease between different humans. Yeah. Big day. Do you remember when we were, like, all freaking out about Zika? Oh, yeah.

Bring back Zika. I would kill for a little Zika right now. I'll freak for the Zika. Yeah. That's right. And it was like, you know, in the scheme of things, was not COVID-19, was it? Absolutely.

Absolutely not. Our number three on the list of the top six reasons I need some annual leave with unlimited annual leave. Our number three, count your buttons down on October 21st. That's a day. That's a day. Okay, do you have many buttons to count? Who knows?

Just your jeans. You have one? That won't take, you don't need a whole day. No, he's have many buttons to count? Who knows? Just your jeans. You have one? That won't take, you don't need a whole day. No, he's got a whole lot because he's got his fancy jeans. That's four on my jeans alone. He's got another pair of jeans at home. I'm buttonless. I can literally see

four. I can see four and a shirt. You've got domes. Those are domes. That's the next day. No, those go into the thing. Those are buttons. Well, maybe we need to take October 20th off to define a button, and then on the 21st we can count our buttons. I've got seven buttons.

It's going to take seven days. Well, you're more than welcome to have those seven days. Unlimited leave. Thank you. Number two on the list of the top six reasons I'm going to need some time off. April 7th, no housework day. Oh, okay. Yeah.

So why are you taking it? Why do you need it off? I mean, I'm not questioning you taking leave because it's unlimited. Well, I need a supervised shower to make sure she does no housework.

Oh, that's good. I don't think she could do a day with no... Well, she loves to... Because you'd put something on the bench and she'd tell you to clean it off. But no. Well, not today. That's technically housework. Yeah. And number one on the bench and she'd tell you to clean it off. But no. Well, not today. That's technically housework.

And number one on the list of the top six reasons I'm going to need some time off with unlimited annual leave. This one's coming up, actually, in a couple of weeks. World Migratory Bird Day, May 13th. Oh, okay. Birds go north, birds go south. I've been hearing them recently. I think they're off early. The birds.

Yeah, they've been in the rush. Maybe we should take from now till May 13th. Well, if it's unlimited, surely a three-week break wouldn't... Yeah, you've got to watch the birds. It's the equivalent of smelling the roses. I'll catch up on the work. Yeah, I'll probably be able to do a little bit of work while I'm watching the birds. Anyway, unlimited leave, so I might actually head off now.

Yeah, all good. Even though I've been here for part of the day, so this counts. This counts as a day at work. Yeah, half day. Even though I've been here for part of the day, so this counts as a day at work. Yeah, half day. They could never give us unlimited annual leave. No way. There'd be no show. There'd be no show.

We'd be in Thailand. There could be a show from Thailand. We could do the show from Thailand. Yeah, but I'm not having my annual leave. I'm not working and getting annual leave. But it's unlimited annual leave. Yeah, but it's still annual leave, isn't it? I'm not going to work when I'm taking annual leave. When I take annual leave. But it's unlimited annual leave. Yeah, but it's still annual leave, isn't it? I'm not going to work when I'm taking annual leave.

I'm on annual leave. I'm going to put a thing in my emails. Yeah, sorry, I'm on annual leave. Currently on annual leave. Forever. For emergencies, please contact Anna Henvest. Yeah. That is today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Here is a story vest. Yeah. That is today's top six. Here is a story of a date that a woman went on in the UK with her ex-boyfriend. Okay. Which might explain how the date got to where it went to. Trying to rekindle, were they? Yeah. So they were sort of off and on, off and on. They part ways, but they kept crossing paths.

And they said, you know, there were things about that relationship that they just couldn't shake off. So they went on a date. They're like, let's have a go again. You know, they tried dating other people, always got bored, came back to each other, let's go on a date. So they went on a date, had a few drinks, had a nice time chatting. Yeah, really nice date. They were feeling nervous

They were feeling all giddy Wanting to give it another go It came to that time A few drinks on board I will keep mentioning this A few drinks on board Yeah And it was time for them to catch the bus home

Eco Warriors Couple of Eco Warriors on our hands here And they decided to go back to her house They were like let's do this And then when they got back home, I guess filled by alcohol, they made the choice to have a bath together. This is why, I mean, because I don't know if they'd jump straight into a bath with a first date.

Nah, 100%. You wouldn't. You wouldn't. You swampy human soup. It's like, here's me naked already. No, naked's fine. I'm fine. But there's something.

Bathy. Bath. It's not like hot. You're naked. I'm fine. But there's something. Bath-y. Bath. It's not like hot. You're naked. I'm naked. Boom, boom, bam. No, no. Bam, bam, bam.

And they're small. They're too small. It's sat still, intimately naked. Right. Yeah. And she said the bath was not opulent. Okay. So there's legs akimbo everywhere.

Yeah. You're going to get a chock there. Absolutely. Toe slips somewhere you don't want not opulent. Okay. So there's legs akimbo everywhere. Yeah, you're going to get a time there. Tick him in the nuts. Absolutely. Toe slip somewhere you don't want it to be. Yeah. Anyway, they hop in there, but she lights some candles because she's like, let's absolutely crank up the romance.

Lights some candles. They hop into the bath. And they're having a great time. She pours another drink. Yeah. Again, a bit boozy. Made some cocktails. She even put herbs in the cocktails.

Oh. I don't know. Rosemaries or thyme or something. Yeah, mint. Gin and thyme. They had some music playing. They hopped into the bath. Candles going.

It was very romantic. Yeah, absolutely. 30 minutes later, their flatmate was banging on the door and was going, something's on fire, something's on fire. And they'd fallen asleep in this bath. How in God's name do you fall asleep in a bath with somebody else? They must have been

absolutely drunk. I don't know if they fell asleep or they passed out in the bath. Right. They were rinsed. I mean she's telling the story. She remembers it well. Also with two people in a bath it wouldn't require much water. Because you know when you get in a bath the water level goes up to the displacement of it. It'd be more body than water.

Yeah. Well, the flatmate burst in on her naked flatmate and her boyfriend in the bath and instantly poured cold water over her head because her hair had caught on fire. How did it not just

all go up so quickly? I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I think maybe like something else around them was on fire and then when she woke them up, she would have gone like, what's happening? And then her hair was on fire. So they had fallen into a drunken slumber into the bath, fallen asleep and her hair caught on fire.

Oh, my God. Great day. Absolute disaster. Then they went to bed. Absolutely, they were fine, but they're still together. They're married, and they have two children. Oh, wow. Yeah, amazing, eh?

But what a disaster of a date. And third-degree burns. So not only did her hair catch on fire, but her flatmate came in and saw her absolutely drunk and naked in the bath. And saved them, yeah. And, you know, if they've been asleep for half an hour in the bath, the bubbles are all gone. Oh, yeah, and they've got wrinkly fingers and that.

Yeah, wrinkly bits. So cold. Yeah, it's cold and gross. Oh, yeah, and they've got wrinkly. Yeah, wrinkly bits. So cold. Yeah, it's cold. Apart from the head being on fire. But a disaster date with a good outcome, at least. Disaster date with a good outcome, but I want to hear about all disaster dates, whether the outcome was good or not.

What went wrong? Did you catch on fire? Did you catch on fire? Did you? Was there a little toilet incident? Did you fall asleep on your date? Oh, God, that's embarrassing. First dates or any dates?

Just our date. Do you want to hear from couples that have been married for 10 years and went on a date? No, no, no. I want the juicy, like, you don't know them. There's got to be a... Your dating. You hardly know them. Yeah.

Okay. Well, give us a call with your story. 0800 dials at M. You can text in as well. 9696. Just tell us about your disaster dates. We're talking disaster dates. A woman in the UK went on a date with her ex-boyfriend,

took him home, hopped him in the bath, and then her hair caught on fire. Somebody said their flatmate does this. Listen to this. It's not a disaster date, but there must be something about baths. My flatmate has had a couple of baths. Baths? Baths. Baths. Baths. Baths. Baths. My flatmate has had a couple of baths with Scott.

Baths? Baths. Baths. Baths. Baths. Baths. With guys she's brought home from town. Didn't sleep with them.

Just had long baths and big D&M chats. Yeah, God. We're on something. Really? We all thought it was really crazy and really weird

but it must have worked. She's with one of them now that are together and have been loved up since. So you get out of the bath and then you don't bang. Is this her way of sizing them up? Yeah. Literally?

Physically. And emotionally, literally? Yeah. It's a lot to sit eyeballing somebody in the bath. Especially with your knees all up and stuff. Where do your legs go? You eyeballing somebody in the bath. Especially with your knees all up and stuff. Yeah. Where do your legs go? It's so open in the bath.

Maybe they're wearing togs. We haven't even put that. Yeah, no, I wonder. Keep your undies on? Undies on. Maybe they do a bubble. A bubble. A cute bubble.

Bubbles fade away. Yeah, bubbles fade away. Put some more on. Put some more on. Yeah, yeah. Evan, what's your disaster date story? So it was one of our first dates. And like our first story, we had a few drinks.

Yeah. And got a bit lost on our way home. A few drinks. Yeah. Well, we weren't in our home city. We were out of town. Okay. You had more than a few drinks if you can't remember your address.

So, yeah, we came up to the top of this hill and kind of looked out over this field and could see where our accommodation was. I went, oh, we'll just cut across here and didn't look down and fell down the bank into a big, massive rosebush. Oh, ow, ow, ow, ow. Ouch. Did you have to pick any out? Yeah, so when we fell, she landed on top of me.

So all the thorns basically went pretty deep into my back, but then we found ourselves in the middle of this rosebush with basically no way to get out, and she was wearing a skirt. Wow. Yeah, we just had to push our way through. So, yeah, her legs got pretty shredded. So we had to wake up a friend of ours who was pretty good at first aid and he came and pulled some thorns out and cleaned up her legs

and did all that sort of stuff. You're in the middle of the bush and the only way you can get out is through more rose thorns. You can't go under it. You can't go over it. You've got to go through it. Wow. Evan, thanks.

You call some more messages in. Someone said, I went on a date with a guy who ordered $70 worth of food and drinks, and at the end of our date did the haka. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's like a thank you. I reckon 100% this guy's Pakeha as well.

Oh, 100%. But were they overseas? Like, was this a treat for the other? Oh, yeah, was he in London? Yeah. I don't know. Compliments to the chef. Yeah.

And a hucker. My friend went on a date with a guy who revealed he was a sperm donor and his sperm has been used 80 times. Wow. I'm sorry. There should be a limit for that, right? Aaron did it. Donated sperm.

Have I told you this before? No. Yeah, so Aaron did a show once about fertility. Years and years and years ago. He was like early, early 20s. Yeah. And he was like, I'll just go research it by going to a sperm donor place. And then while he was there, he just ended up giving them a sample.

And then I think 10 years later, they let him know that no one had used it because they also do a profile on you. And no one wants to birth a six-foot-six man's baby. No, I was going to say, yeah, really tall dudes. Everyone was like, whoa. Everyone wants like a high-fives early sixes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, but nobody wants a six-six.

I'd do a little jockey. Yes, a little pocket rocker. Yeah, just to, you know, make it less painful. He's got to be, yeah. Well, he was a little bit offended. Aaron was always like, oh, no, one of my babies. That's tough. That is tough.

Sorry, as you were carrying on. Somebody else said, after the date, I found out he was married. So I guess you'd call that a disaster date in another way. Someone said, he was driving me home from the date and had a turn while he was driving and plowed into the side of the road. Had a turn? Had a turn, like an epileptic fit? They don't say what the turn was.

They just say turn. I'm imagining they're like 80 and they just have a spell. Oh, yeah, right. Old people go on dates, I guess. Or a turn. I'm imagining there was just, they're like 80. And they just have a spell. Oh, yeah, right. Old people go on dates, I guess. Or a turn. At a fold. Yeah. Wow.

Should I just read this one ahead? Because it happened in Palmerston North. Oh, yeah, you want to make sure that it's. I went on a date with someone I met off Tinder and we met in a Palmerston North bar. Just making sure that it's radio friendly. No, it's not. It's not. But it's Palmerston North bar. Just making sure that it's radio friendly. No, it's not. It's not.

But it's Palmerston North, so let your imagination run wild. They met in a bar and then Palmerston North happened. Yeah. All right, 7.23. Well, from crazy dates to good dates. It was my 11-year anniversary yesterday

and I put on a hell of a day. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Yesterday, and I put on a hell of a day. Well, yesterday it was our 11-year anniversary, 11 years since we went on our first date. This is you and your fiancé? Me and my fiancé, Aaron. How long have you been fianced? Like three and a half years.

I just wanted to, like, poke that little sore. I think it's three years. half years. I just wanted to like poke that little sore. I think it's three years. Three years. Three years this year. We're working on it. Anyway, so yesterday, well, we sort of said like, what do we want to do? How do we want to celebrate the day? And we agreed on a few things.

One of them was at any point in the day, you had 11 opportunities to ask for a compliment. What? Just like something like, it could be something like, you've got great skin. Right. Or I'm really proud of this immense achievement. Right. You had to ask for it. Well, you could just be like, I want one now.

And then on the spot, the other person would have to give you a compliment. Right. Oh, okay. So you'd be thinking of, you'd always, once you'd said one, you'd be loading up the next one. Yeah, I mean, we did try to think about it too. Yeah, you don't want to have like, I don't have anything nice to say about you.

Did you use all of your 11? Did you ask all? I don't think we reached 22 exchanged compliments What were your top ones that he complimented you on? Oh no, they're too intimate Oh okay, oh no no, they're intimate No no no I mean one of them was

No Yes Just a radio friendly one One of them was, I've got good skin. Okay. Right. One of them was, oh, he really likes that I, he said not, he doesn't personally like this for selfish reasons, but he respects that I give an immense amount of time to my friends. Oh, yeah.

There was stuff like that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. What did you give him? Yeah. Oh yeah nice There was stuff like that Yeah Okay Yeah yeah What did you give him? Yeah Ones that you can't say on the radio I mean we've all seen Greg Driver

He has to duck to get through a door You do the maths Don't don't don't Why do you think that old lady invites all three of them Into this latest ad for a cup of tea? I said things like He's learnt so much about renovating the house It was just a strange thing.

Okay. We love to express. Shada and I would struggle on that so hard. Words of affirmation are our thing. Yeah, that's a good idea for your next anniversary. Try it. How many compliments? Yeah, I mean, for us it's easy because words of affirmation is a big love language for us.

But if it's not, yeah, I think it would be a real struggle because especially if they give you a crap one and they're like you've got a lovely shaped nose you're like

get out give me something about my soul and then they've got to really think about it anyway so then we kicked that off we had mimosas

and we had toast with Vaughan's chilli jam smashed avo chilli jam a spicy start to the anniversary yeah but above a prosecco and juice and we had toast with Vaughan's Chili Jam. Oh. I spiced things up. Smashed avo, chili jam. A spicy start to the anniversary. Yeah, but above a Prosecco and juice. And then we hit the road, so we only had a couple. Yeah.

I just wanted to say. Just one. I had one, he had two, I drove. And then we went to an antique store. Oh, no, we went to the rock shop. Very romantic. Eddie bought a little, he bought a new hand drum. He bought a new what? He bought a a little. He bought a new hand drum. He bought a new what?

He bought a new, I bought him a new hand drum. Like a bongo. Like a, like a, you just said drum. A bongo. No,

like a, like a pan drum with like a skin on it. Yeah, but without the jingly bits, just a hand drum. Does he have elephant pants from Bali or Thailand?

Yes, well, when's the prayer circle? No, he uses it for teaching. It's based on this French clown teacher. He bangs the drum and you have to walk on and stuff, and Aaron does that. So he got a new hand drum.

I need a compliment. You play the hand drum like no other. Boy, do you know how to bang that hand drum. Only one person ever compared to you with a hand drum and it's that French clown. He was very stoked about his new hand drum. It wasn't cheap. Anyway, and then we popped to this antique store

because we love antiques and the likes and we each decided we'd get to buy each other one thing that we found. And we were in this antique store for two hours. It was amazing. I got a mid-century decanter. Oh, nice. Green glass decanter.

And he got a bucket. A bucket. He got a bucket. A bucket. Yeah, because it was like a vintage bucket. He put the kid thing in it. Or a foot drum, as they're known in the French clown circle. Then we went home, we played some pool, had some cocktails,

and we had to make a memory cocktail. So you had to choose a memory from our relationship and then get inspired and make a cocktail about it and present it. That's cool. That's nice. That's cool. That's interesting. Mine was the tickled pink because when we first got together,

we used to get this wine called Crimson Rose and it was pink and we used to stick it in the microwave because it tasted nicer warmer. So I made this like pink cocktail based on that. And he made the Greeny Stevens. Yeah. Because we like the colour green. It was a cucumber minty. And then, boy, did we crank up the hate.

We rented Batman. We rented the Batman. The Robert Pattinson Batman. The Batman. Because we haven't seen it yeah good and I was like this is good

and then I made him meatloaf which is why I had meatloaf for breakfast because there was meatloaf left over tell you what

yeah and then the whole time he oh babe I mean the neighbours would have thought and there's an anniversary happening in there

the way that Aaron was moaning and groaning yeah but it was all meatloaf. Meatloaf moans. Meatloaf moans. There would have been no time for actual moaning afterwards because you'd be so full of meatloaf.

We were so full of meatloaf. Yeah. But we didn't need it because I think the endorphins came from this meatloaf. You're half cut from all the... Half cut from the day long. Yeah, yeah. Probably feeling a little self-conscious

because, I mean, I felt self-conscious after that Batman movie because I couldn't fit that Catwoman suit. Oh, no one can. I don't think she can even fit it. It's computer, she's got to be computer generated. Yeah. And then full of meatloaf.

Full of meatloaf, full of compliments. So everything but. On the anniversary it was everything but. You don't need it with Patsy Sprouse meatloaf recipe. It's good. It's that good, you don't need the hanky-panky. Is it a shareable recipe or is it a family secret recipe? I don't know.

I have to ask her. People want it. Yeah, because that's what I'm going to say. I've got to hammer up meatloaf. It's everything. It's meat. I'll check with Patsy but I'll share it. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. It's gross. Is it okay to pop someone else's pimples? This came up because, Vorni, you've got a bit of a neck pimple. I had it. It's goneples. And this came up because, Vorni, you got a bit of a neck pimple. I had it.

It's gone now. Shit. Yeah, it has. Look at that. It's absolutely gone. Yeah. Excuse my upfront swearing just then,

but my pimples take so long. Yours just came for a day and then went away. Gave it a hard squeeze and then it's gone. But it was like right on my neck. Right on.

Yeah. Yeah. But it was Executive Intern Ania that offered to squeeze that for you. Yeah, but I said it was already done. Yuck. Yeah, you won't even hug your dad, doesn't he? Doesn't your dad get one hug a year?

Or two. Two hugs a year. Two hugs a year. But you were going to squeeze your workmate's pimp. Yeah, I'm not. I don't love a cuddle or snuggling, but pimples are my love language. Blackheads? Blackheads? Those deep blackheads?

Oh my god, don't get started. We've known each other a long time, you know, six years, I think of you as a brother, I wouldn't squeeze any random on the streets pimple, but when someone close to me says, I've got a big one brewing, what's a gal to do? Oh my god, I wouldn't squeeze my brother's, my actual brother's pimples.

I wouldn't squeeze anyone's pimples. I wouldn't squeeze Aaron, your fiancé's pimples. No. Yuck. Okay. Yeah. What if you just see one and you're just like, oh, God, he won't squeeze it. What if he had one in a position he couldn't reach?

And it was like on his back. We've never had to encounter that. It's a fantastic skin. Well, that was one of his compliments. It've never had to encounter that. It's a fantastic skin. Well, that was one of his compliments. It was one of the compliments I gave him yesterday. So would you actually, if Vaughn had said yes, Anna, would you have done that? It was like right here to the intimate spot, like right on the throat. That's a you squeeze that pimple, Vaughn.

Well, I would have said, may I? I would have asked for consent. Mother, may I? And then I would have approached. I would have got some gloves, maybe like some dishwashing gloves. And then a couple of paper towels. I would have laid down. Maybe would have gone to a different quiet studio.

Oh, like real Dr. Pimple Popper. Yeah, and then I would have started my incision. Do you make your boyfriend, Mr. Bun Buns, lie down? And do you just go absolutely to town on all the blackheads? It's like my treat. But he wouldn't be a very blackhead guy. He's got beautiful skin. God, I wish he didn't.

You wish he was a grub. You're just like, don't have a shower tonight. Go get all grubby at the skate park. That pizza sauce, rub it on your back. Well, the results from our silly little poll are confusing to me. You're right. They're absolutely split. 52% yes. Wow. 48% nah. So more people are like, yeah, yeah, right. They're absolutely split. 52% yes.

Wow. 48% nah. So more people are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, get me Adam, let me Adam. But did we specify who you were squeezing?

Because a workmate, no, but a partner, acceptable. We just said someone else's. We didn't specify. James says, it hurts when I do it

and the missus loves it. Let's add a big Hoo-yah With everyone There you go Hoo-yah Is it Hoo-yah

Or is it Hoo-yah Hoo-yah Ashley says I reckon Only If they ask you For help

Oh yeah I had a friend Who just went for it If she saw one on me. That was not cool in my books. Do you have the Dr. Pimple Popper tool? Yep. Have you seen this thing?

No. Give it a hot rinse. Oh, it's good on anyone. A hot rinse. That's what they do at the dentist. That's called sterilization, a hot rinse. A hot rinse. Spoiler joke.

Pour it over there. Hell no. Blackheads, on the other hand, are okay, says Mark. So he's a no for a standard whitehead. Oh, yeah. But he's... Maybe he wants the whitehead glory. You know, that's quite satisfying.

No, because there's a... I think it's the unpredictability of the whitehead explosion. Oh, yes. He doesn't like. He doesn't want that squirter, you know? No, no, yeah. He's more of a slow oozer. I wouldn't do it, but the better half loves to do mine

yeah okay so that's that's a one-sided situation there if it's my sister and it's on my back which I can't reach I'll get her to do it

she's amazing at it oh no is that a skill is that a CV-able skill you know like, skills include LinkedIn, great at black hair Yeah, they need like a longer nail to get like

Yeah, you know like how bus drivers used to have like longer fingernails So they could get the tickets You could have a longer fingernail so you could do the pimples Yeah, grow it a little bit longer Mel said, only if it's your partners That's the only acceptable person to pop Consensual popping is absolutely okay Says Grace

And Kendall says Not a random, but if you know them well enough Then sure Imagine seeing someone in the bus or something With one in the back of the neck And you just reach in and go Because when I was at the gym at the cycle class I was in the second row and the person in front

of me, the guy was wearing like a singlet and on his shoulder blade, which was exposed, was the most gigantic white head. Like, you, Anna, you would not have been able to control yourself. You would have wanted to reach over. Yeah. Would you offer to pop a stranger's?

God, no. Oh. Just sneak in there. No, and then what's that? Just bump past them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, knock it. Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. What was that?

Yeah, but yeah, pretty evenly split there. Outrageous. It's not for me, but each to their own. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. At the weekend, I found myself in Northland. Okay. And I needed to pop into a store to purchase something. Beautiful up there.

Lovely. Absolutely beautiful. So I went into a store and I was at the checkout with my few items. It sounds suspicious now that I've not mentioned what the items are, but they were like nonchalant items. Toilet paper. Yeah, a bag of nuts for later. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A tube of Pringles. So you're in like a store, but it's not a supermarket. It's like a store. Like a general four square, but it wasn't a four square. No, it wasn't a four square. It was like bigger than a dairy, but smaller than a market. A superette. Yeah. I think that's what they're called.

So when I was at the checkout, I was just checking my internet banking because they didn't have credit card facilities, and I'm a credit card heavy user, and I just pay it off as I do it rather than F-Post. But anyway. He's all about the points over here. He loves the points. And I was just like, I don't know, just check this.

And she's like, where are you from? Very lovely lady. Where are you from? I said, oh, just up from Auckland for the day. And she said, no, no, I mean your people. And I was like, my people? And she's like, where are you from? And I was like, this is that question you get asked.

You don't get asked. I don't get asked. I got asked it at the weekend. Did you? We're in Wellington. Did you? No, just friends asking what my ethnicity and background was because I'm very tanned at the moment.

Right. I'm like,anned at the moment. Right. I'm like, no, just plain white. Yeah, yeah, no. I'm in that guy in Christchurch. I thought you were Middle Eastern that time. Yeah. He asked where in the Middle East you were from. I would go like Sweden, Norway. No, because when I tan, people will ask, but yeah, not you.

Not me. Not old little white Irish. Not white, white through and through. No, your people are from white. Yeah, but I believe we're from the nation of white. We're so white, we say white. So what, did she assume your nationality? I don't know.

I didn't get around. I was like, my people, I was like, oh. Like, my family on both sides has been in New Zealand for like five or six generations, but like Irish, English Irish. And she was like, oh, I thought there was a little something in there. Did she say what the something? No, she didn't say what the something was.

Because even though... You know the worst part about this? No one was around. My wife wasn't there to witness it. You were so delighted though at the idea of people thinking that you were anything other than a vanilla piece of toast. I was thrilled. But you don't, like, you've been working outside all summer,

so you're a little sun-kissed, but not really. I wouldn't say anything exceptional. And I don't have the features. Of anything other than white or white. Of anything other than white. Look at this cute little button nose. That can only be a pasty white man's nose. Yeah.

The pastiest white mixture. It's like PVA glue. I really want to know now what ethnicity or nationality. I'm thinking of going back. Just to see. Be like, where do you think I'm from? What did you think? Your wife gets confused for all manner of ethnicity and nationalities.

People just, wherever we are, people assume Sade's local. When we were in Samoa, people would talk to her in Samoan and she'd have to say, sorry, I'm not Samoan. And like around New Zealand, Māori people are, you thought Sade was Māori for like years. I thought she was Māori, yeah. And when you told me she wasn't, I'm like, oh yeah. Oh, what?

Yeah. So she gets it all the time. Yeah, right. But now I've had it once. Once. And I liked it. Wow. Congrats.

I don't get it. I know some people hate it. And, you know, it is bad when people are like, where are you from? And it's like, oh, Auckland. And where are you from from? Yeah. No, where are you from from? Well, I was born in New Zealand.

Where are your parents from? Yeah. Well, they were born here as well. Yeah. But if we want to go back far enough. Yeah. The worst one a friend of mine has had, I wonder if Sade's ever had this, what kind of Asian are you?

And you go, what is that? What are you asking me? I'd have to ask her, but I think so. I think she's, yeah, had that. Well, as a very, very pale woman of Māori descent, the only one I've ever had, when I say Māori, they're like, oh, yeah, like a slither. I'm like, no, no, heaps.

The only one I've had is Dalmatian. Oh, wow, okay. Someone said, are you Dalmatian? Sort of your Dalmatian coast, your Croatian, modern-day Croatian. I think this is when I had, like, black hair, a bit of a rock and a tan. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah.

But mind you, those bloody sneaky Dalmatians loved popping into Northland, didn't they? Well, they might have had a little bit of a dabble in Tenepai. They might have. Flex, Ron and Hayley's Sneaky Little Word. Our sneaky little word brought you a super quack. Good morning. Good morning. Yeah, nicely slipped in there too, Vaughn.

I missed it again. Banking, banking was the sneaky little word today. You were the first one through, Brooke. And thanks to ANZ, who want Kiwis to talk about their finances, you know, from what they're spending to what they're saving. You can get conversation starters at the ANZ Financial Wellbeing Hub. We have for you, Brooke, $500. Woo-hoo!

That is so cool. I've got the biggest smile on my face. That's so cool. Thank you so much. I want to start to the week. Yes. All right. Congratulations.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Am I a bad person? We have been emailed. From Alive.com. From Alive.com. From Alive.com? Yeah, it's been a while. Right out there with MSN and Yahoo.

Yahoo, yeah. What did my mum used to be? At Asterix.com. Asterix? Oh, yeah. A lot of extra. Remember extra? Yeah.

Well, from Alive.com. It says, hi, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. So they've got that right. Yeah. Very formal. Hello. Hello. I currently work away for two weeks at a time and come home for one week.

Oh, like on the oil rig or a fishing boat or something. Maybe in the mines, perhaps. Oh, yeah. Okay. Last time I was gone for work, my flatmate, without asking me, lent one of my shirts to another mate. The thing is, I didn't find out until I saw the other mate and didn't even notice the shirt was gone until then.

I've constantly been asking about where my shirt is now and it's starting to get a little bit silly. It's not the fact that it's a shirt, but the principle of lending out someone else's belongings unconsciently. Unconscionably? Like without consent. I am.

I learnt a new word today, didn't you? And making no attempt to get it back for me. If he had have lent it out and got it back clean without me noticing, I wouldn't have even cared. But the fact that I now have to keep chasing it is what gets me. Unlike them, here's a little dig, I care about my clothes and the way that I dress.

So, Fletchford and Hayley, am I in the right here by being annoyed by this or am I the bad guy for taking this more insultingly than others would? No, I'm with them. It's a principle of it. And also you don't loan anything, anything

of someone else's. It's not your... And it's also the middle step. Like maybe if the flatmate had gone, shoot, I'm going to borrow a shirt from my flatmate's wardrobe. That's one thing. But to then go, I'm going to go into my flatmate's wardrobe and then lend it to someone else, a third party. And then they also don't give it back?

They don't give it back. No. When they've asked? Yeah. That's bizarre. I've borrowed a friend's shirt when I stayed at their house and I was performing a show and I didn't have

the right shirt. So I went into his wardrobe, staying at his house and he wasn't there and I borrowed a shirt and I brought it back. But that's but I didn't lend it to someone else to wear as if it was my property. You still didn't ask though. No, but I told him afterwards and he was like, that's fine. I didn't lend it to someone else to wear as if it was my property. You still didn't ask, though. No, but I told him afterwards and he was like, that's fine.

I didn't even wash it because I was only there for a night. And he was away for ages. I didn't want to leave a wet shirt. Yeah, right. Okay. Sorry, James. You're not the bad person, especially it's still not returned. Yeah. It's still not back.

So what has happened to it? Well, as this person said, look, I wouldn't actually be that mad about it if they had just brought it back, it was clean, it's still not returned yeah it's still not back so what has happened to it well as this person said look I wouldn't actually be that mad about it if they had just brought it back it was clean it was back in my wardrobe otherwise

but they're keeping it it's gone yeah they've sort of I mean if they stolen it they've soiled it there's also nothing more awkward like when

you might leave an item of clothing at someone's house and then they just start wearing it have you ever had that happen yes I have yes and then they just start wearing it. Have you ever had that happen? Yes, I have. Yes, that's...

And then they might catch them. That's different though. It's completely different. That's completely different. But it's still awkward. Because I've inherited a couple of good hoodies like that and I tell you what, no regrets. Whose hoodies?

No regrets. I don't know, they were left behind. Are you missing a couple of hoodies? People would come for a party and leave a hoodie behind. I'd be like, oh, that'll do. Oh, yeah. And it smells of the other person for a while. So every time you put it on, you're reminded of your deceit.

Yeah, you've got to work hard to get your stink on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wash it a few times with your laundry detergent and knock it up a little. Well, we want you to weigh in now on am I a bad person. 0800 DARS at Emerson number. You can text as well, 9696. Maybe you've been in a situation where friends have loaned something of yours. Lent out your stuff.

Or you've lent something to someone and they haven't returned it. And it's just got weird. Yeah. Like, what should this guy do? Is there any advice for this guy? Like, it seems like he's asking them. Yeah, well, because now he probably doesn't want to keep going on about it. Because you're like, now you're making me look like I care so much about this shirt.

I just want my freaking shirt back. It's the principle. It wouldn't have been a cheap shirt either. They're not cheap shirts. Well, as you said, I care about my clothes and the way that I dress. I'm imagining a Barker's. Oh, okay. It's certainly going to be a label shirt, isn't it? It's not a Country Road linen. I hate to say.

I hate to hypothesise. You remember that I got the Country Road linen for Vaughan's birthday party. I know. And the wedding that I went to. It's very remember that I got the Country Road linen for Vaughan's birthday party. I know. And the wedding that I went to. It's very lovely. You got the linen. I got the lovely shirt.

I got the linens. How upset would you be if someone took that shirt? It wouldn't matter where it was from. And it's not a linen, cotton, wool. It does not matter what the fabric is. PVC. You just can't take other people's stuff. Linen, cotton, wool all like really nice fabrics

What else is there? You care about your flammable polyester Ah polyester Alright spandex 0800 dials at M you can text in 9696 Is he a bad person

for just wanting his shirt back and being annoyed by this? Maybe you've been in a situation where someone won't give you a shirt back Give us a call Am I a bad person?

So just to recap, we received an email. There's been a shirt that's been loaned out. Yes, a rogue shirt. The person who emailed us went away for work and while they were away, their flatmate got a shirt out of their wardrobe and lent it to another friend and they haven't given it back yet.

Yeah, and it sounds like he's asked several times. This sounds like one of those flats, if I was away for two weeks, I'd get a lock. A lock. Yeah, lock your door. Stuff flatting, eh? When you've got a lock on your door, it makes me want to get in there so much more.

Yeah, what's behind there? Why have they locked the door? It's like when you go to an Airbnb and there's a cupboard. Yes! That's got a lock on it. I'm like, what have they got in there? It's all the family stuff for when they own this. Yeah. Stay there, right?

Good stuff. Yeah. The good board games, the good coffee. The good sheets. Yeah. The, like, stuff. The good boogie boards. Make sure you wanna buy one of those lock-picking things off eBay or Amazon. Yeah.

You know, those kits. Oh, yeah. And you teach yourself, like on the movies. Yeah. I want to do it. Then I could be that friend that would always get invited to the Airbnbs because you get to pick the lock. And you listen.

Yeah. Your stethoscope. No, that's a safe one. You don't need that for the keys. I don't think you've got a tourney lock on your family cupboard. Why not? Look, if you want to put one on. But wouldn't it be advantageous to have a stethoscope

so that you'd hear when you're clicking the keys in the right place? I don't think you're taking this too seriously. Yeah, I think you've been watching too many movies. We'll see who gets into this lock quickest. All right, so what do we think? Have you maybe been in the situation? Are they a bad person? I personally do not. For getting all racked up about it? I would

just be on to them every day until they gave me that shirt back. Anonymous, what do you think? Are they a bad person? Yeah, I think they kind of are. They probably shouldn't have taken it without permission. Oh, you think the other person's a bad person. You're the flatmate.

Yeah. I am kind of half guilty of this. My friend who lent me a t-shirt, well, a little crop top a few years back, and she went on holiday. It was a white crop top, and I spilt something on it. So I had it in a little drawer of, like, find the original and replace it. Yeah. Moved back to New Zealand, completely forgot about it and now after three years

of not seeing her in lockdown, she's coming to visit and I'm like, damn, I've got to find this shirt. She's not going to let you forget about that crop top. You just have to be honest. Go and get her a different crop top. Are we still cropping?

Are we still doing crop tops, Carween? I'm still cropping. I don't work hard on my... You love your crop tops. I love my crop tops. I don't work hard on my midriff. You love your crop tops. I love my crop tops. I don't work hard on my torso to not let everybody see my belly button. You love showing off your snail trail, don't you? Oh, yeah.

He's got a beautiful one. I do. I love it. Anonymous, thank you. More messages in. Nobody thinks that this guy is the bad guy here. In fact, I want to see some more messaging. I want an everyday relentless

barrage of give me my shirt back. Yeah. Do you know what we've heard from a few people? People borrow things or even give, they give them permission to borrow things. Yep. And then they ask for it back and they say, oh, I didn't know you wanted that. I've sold it.

What? Like, someone said, my daughter lent her sweatshirt to a friend, asked for it back and the friend said, oh, sorry, I didn't know you wanted that. I've sold it. What? Like, someone said, my daughter lent her a sweatshirt to a friend, asked for it back, and the friend said, oh, sorry, I sold it. Somebody else said, give me the money. My partner had a motorbike,

lent it to one of his cousins. They never returned it. But, you know, they always knew they had the motorbike. And then my partner was like, hey, that motorbike. Can I grab it back? And they said,

oh, God, no, you wanted it. I sold it. This is why you've got to be... A motorbike, can I grab it back? And they said, oh, God, no, you wanted it. I sold it. This is why you've got to be. A motorbike. But they didn't get any cash out of this thing. You've got to say, I'm loaning you this. I want this back. Obviously, you have to be so.

I just say, that's why you don't lend things. Yeah. But what about the days of DVDs? Oh, my God, yeah. People come over and be like, oh, can I borrow, you know? And then they'd lend it to someone, and you'd fletch out an Excel spreadsheet. I did. Did you?

It got so bad. Because then you'd be going on Facebook, putting a photo, be like, who's got my grand Budapest hotel? I want it back. Yeah. Yeah. We got so caught up on discs, eh? Yeah.

Now look at us. Look at us. A thing of the past. Look at us. A thing of the past. Look at us. We don't need discs anymore. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now it's more like this guitar was looked at by Jimi Hendrix

Halfly Yeah And it's just like, put it in the case on the wall Take a photo of me with it That's so good Find some connection to some band that you liked one time And be like, I can't believe this Alright

Today's Fact of the Day Is not about What was it called? The Hard Rock Cafe No Nor is it about Planet Hollywood Is Planet Hollywood

The one that Bruce Willis And that all had shoes in Yeah And there was one In Auckland Back as Sylvester Stallone Bruce Willis And a whole lot of celebs

Gotcha Gotcha Gotcha Gotcha Gotcha Today's Fact of the Day Is not about any of that What do you think Is the most diverse country in the world for languages?

Oh. I'll give you a clue. 12% of the world's total languages are in this country. As in most spoken by the people that live there. 856 known and recognized languages. Africa is a continent. Yeah, that would be. Good save.

I was like, is it a country in Africa? Is it a country in Africa? Or South America? No, man. South America was my second guess. Well, then would it have to be the United States, wouldn't it? No, sir. China. No, not China. Oh, it's have to be the United States, wouldn't it? No, sir. Church, China.

No, not China. Oh, it's got to be Europe then. No, sir. Antarctica, penguins. Yep, that's it. It's the penguins. No, it's not. What's left?

Great Britain. Australia. Close. Above Australia. The islands. No, it's below. Great Barrier Reef. Yeah, Great Barrier Reef.

Darwin. What's it called? Solomon Islands. No, Indonesia. Indonesia. It's coming out of my mouth. Papua New Guinea. Oh.

Papua. Papua New Guinea. Why do we say Papua New Guinea? It's Papua New Guinea. Papua New Guinea, yeah. Papua New Guinea. A population of 7 million people, 856 known languages. That's a tiny amount of people for that many languages. I know.

So the most spoken language only has 200,000 people that can speak it. Right. Yeah. Well, it'll be Mandarin soon, won't it? Yeah. When they sign this agreement with, not to get geopolitical on things, guys. No, Well, it'll be Mandarin soon, won't it? Yeah. When they sign this agreement with, not to get geopolitical on things, guys. No, no, no.

You've really taken a stance there. You've really taken a stance. Should China be allowed to set up military bases in the South Pacific? We'd love to have your opinion. Oh, $800 at the end. Pro, con, let's make a list. No, let's not. So, yeah, it has the most languages of any country. Wow. Yeah. Let's make a list Nah let's not So yeah

It has the most The most languages Of any country Wow Yeah That was a real surprise What are some of the languages? So there's four official languages

English Tok Sign language And Hirimoto Tok TikTok Tok

Yeah TikTok is their language Tokpison Tokpison is what they call their language It's like an evolved English Oh okay Yeah It's not It's not like It doesn't have a

Right A talk sound in it Right It's mostly Like a clicky language It's a language that if you spoke English You'd probably be able to work out what was happening. Okay, that could be a good one for me.

Like Trinidad and Tobago, you know how they speak a type of English? Yeah, heavily accented with some words that are different, some sounds that are different. But you'd be able to kind of follow it. And then what about the other? Have we ever got time? What are the other 8,000? I don't have a list of

They didn't do a list of 8,000? Or 856 known languages 856 12 of which are documented like languages Yeah But no one no longer speaks them Well that doesn't count then The people who spoke them just passed

Right Oh right Like dead generations, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like very recently to the point where it could have been documented. Wow. And explained and everything. Yeah, so today's fact of the day is there are 856 known languages in Papua New Guinea.

And this is the other thing. They believe there could be more because they're still isolated tribes. Crazy. In between China and Australia, there still could be isolated tribes in the area. So good. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Master Chef. It's coming back. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley

Masterchef It's coming back And of course Since 2016 was the last season of it Really? Yeah Masterchef New Zealand We've had overseas Masterchef

I guess that's why it feels like it's not that long ago But 2016 it was like we're done, we're cancelled And then It's back She long ago. But 2016, it was like, we're done, we're cancelled. And then... It's back. She's back. Coming soon. She's back. And one of the three host judges, food experts, Nadia Lim.

Good morning. Yeah, it's back, baby. Oh, we've just got a bit of a... We've got a terrible phone line, but it's definitely our end. It's our end, not yours. And the exciting news. It's been a year hiatus, so I think it's about time that it came back.

Yeah. Sorry, we are having phone technical difficulties here with our... Look, Anna's got her head in her hand. I can... Should we call Nadia from my phone and just plug it into the thing? Yeah, Nadia, we're just going to call you back. We're going to call you back, Nadia. Sorry, I'm just going to hang up on Nadia.

I look like a damn fool. I hope you guys feel as foolish as I feel. Well, you've got to get you back. We're going to call you back, Nadia. Sorry, I'm just going to hang up on Nadia. I look like a damn fool. I hope you guys feel as foolish as I feel. Well, you've got to get the number. You've shut your laptop. Oh, hang on. Just read out Nadia's number. I don't think I should be trusting you. Nadia Lim, National Treasure.

I'll be pissing her the whole time. I'll be like, what should I have for dinner tonight? Anna's sent you through the number. Just dial that through and then we'll put up the line there. I had a TikTok open. Apologies. I was like, what dial that through and then we'll put up the line there. I had a TikTok open, apologies. I was like, what's that sound? No, we've got a dongle. We've got a dongle. Thanks, Jared.

Producer Jared, thank you. I found a dongle. This is live, isn't it? It's live and it's juicy. Good thing we've got five minutes with Malia. Just double check that. Okay, so this should be going through. Okay, here we go. You guys are going to have to talk loud, though. Oh, yeah.

Well, you just ask the question. Is that better? Yeah! So much better. That's so much better. So a seven-year hiatus, and it's back. Yes. Yeah, about time.

I totally agree. I'm such a MasterChef fan. I'm yelling because I know I'm across the phone. Yeah, she's on the other side of the room. And, Nadia, you've got the advantage of having won this and knowing how hard it is. What's it like jumping into the other seat?

Well, I've got to tell you, it's much nicer being on this side, that's for sure. But there were actually times where I would have preferred to have been a contestant. Like, some of the challenges, I was like, oh, this is such a good challenge. I want to be at the end of a bench cooking. And Vaughan and Michael, my fellow judges and my mates,

had to keep saying to me, just calm down, Nadia, calm down. You're not in the competition. Stop being so competitive. Where did you do the filming for it and stuff? Because, I mean, you and Vaughan are kind of – In Queenstown. Nice. Oh, yes.

In kind of near Arrowtown, which was actually really lucky. It was just complete coincidence because, you know, the show was going to be filmed down here and I happen to live down this way as well. So it was really convenient. Yeah, we were rural. So we were actually out in the country, like surrounded by the mountains. The actual studio is at Vingard Winery, which is surrounded by the mountains. And, yes, it was a really cool place to be every day.

Now, so you've already filmed this season. It's done. We have. Yeah, because I've got an idea, because I know that, you know, they're always trying to look for spin-offs and off-shoots, like Celebrity MasterChef or the Kids MasterChef, but it's Masked Singer meets MasterChef.

So you have a giant lizard or whatever, and they're all cooking stuff, and then you take the thing off, and I don't know, it's like... Osh would be all over that like a ranch. It's Mike McRoberts. It's Mike McRoberts in the lizard. That has legs.

But I just have this vision of like these big, you know, plastic costumes probably going up in flames. Yeah. It turned into an absolute disaster. It adds to the drama, Nadia. It adds to the drama. I think that way needs a little bit of workshopping. You should be a TV producer.

Full of ideas. Speaking of going up in flames, last time we talked to you, you had discovered a coal range in the paddock and you were considering a coal range renovation. Have you renovated the coal range? The people want to know. I've got it. We took it out of the paddock and we've kind of cleaned it up,

but I don't quite know what to turn it into. So it's still there. A coal range, Nadia. Could you turn the coal range into a coal range? It's missing too many parts of that. So we think it has to become a shelf or a table or something. We had a coal range in our house that we bought, a very old house, 1910 Villa.

We had a coal range. We took it out because it didn't work anymore. We put it on the side of the street with a free sign and it's gone. Oh, it would be gone. For free. Oh, my goodness. I would have bought it off you. No, I wasn't there to make money. I'm a woman of charity.

Someone literally took it to a scrap metal dealer, I reckon, and sold it. And made a ton of money out of it. Well, Nadia, super excited. Coming soon. Do we know how soon? Soon, soon. Well, yeah, I think it's just soon, soon. I actually don't know the actual date. Like, I'd say maybe weeks away. It could be

end of May, June. I reckon once these clowns wrap up their dancing. Yeah. Boy, you've done that as well, haven't you? I think they're doing great. I'm cheering all of them on. This is just being jealous, basically. Actually, that's another idea.

Dancing with the MasterChef. And they do a dance, but they're also – Cooking a meal. Yeah. Another terrible idea. I danced with the Stars three years ago and I was terrible. What were you? You were great. I'm a massive fan of both.

You were fantastic, Nadia. Thank you. I mean, nothing on my cooking. Nothing on your cooking. Just as well. Thank you very much. We'll let you get back to your Colerange restoration. Great to talk. And the new season of Masterchef coming

soon to three. If you missed this last time, it's a saga. It's a real saga. Hair loss, losing quite a lot of my hair because of polycystic ovarian syndrome and because I work in telly and I get my hair done all the time.

Does that work getting your hair done all the time? Does that make it fall out? Well, it can get damaged and I also was like, I want to be blonde a couple of years ago if people remember that moment and I got addicted to it. I think that's why my hair fell out because I did Simon Barnett blonde frosted tips. You did some frosty tips. I warned you. I told you not to. I just wanted

to have Simon Barnett frosted tips. Everybody wanted Simon Barnett frosted tips. And did some frosty tips. I warned you. I told you not to. I just wanted to have Simon Barnett frosted tips. Everybody wanted Simon Barnett frosted tips. And look like the guy from Sugar Ray. Oh my god, yeah. Everybody at the time. Every morning when I wake up there's a halo hanging from the front of my boss bed. Shut the door baby, don't say a word.

Anyway, a number of reasons. My hair's falling out and then I had a whole chunk of it ripped out. Was it a ponytail? Was it a clip-on ponytail? Yeah, it left a patch. Anyway, so I looked up this treatment called PRP, which stands for, well, they call it the vampire facial.

You can get it in your face. Platelet-rich plasma injections. So what they do, but you get it in your hair and it stimulates hair growth. So they take blood out of your arm. Right. And then they, what's that word? Centrifuge.

Oh, shake it up. Shake it up. Yeah. Split it, get the red out and get the good gold stuff. Oh, yeah. And then they inject it all back into your head. About like, I don't know, 70 times, like 70 injections or so. I mean, over the course of like an hour.

But it's like, they'd be tiny. You obviously feel it because I remember you said the first time's painful, but it wouldn't go in far, would it? No, it doesn't go in far, but I mean, look. It's death by a thousand paper cuts. Yeah. I will say, already I went there, there's my second treatment over the weekend and they were like this is amazing. The hole in the back of my head

is gone. The little fluffy hair is growing everywhere. Is it too late for me? It's a little too late. You've got to have something to work with. It would be weird if I grew hair back because I'd probably just shave it anyway or keep it like clipper short. There is a revolutionary new pube transplant you can do. Yeah you can get your pubes but they'll be

bloody coarse. You'd be all wiry and stuff on top. I've actually got soft soft organs. You'd get quite downy feathery pubes. I wouldn't go as far to say feathery.

Right. Straight though. Straight as an arrow. I'd say silk. Silk like. Silky pubes. Oh, silky pubes. Smith over there.

Yeah. Well, anyway, it was like good news. It was going well. Like nylon, like fishing line is how I would... See, but that's quite wiry. It's like smooth over there. Yeah. Well, anyway, it was like good news. It was going well. Like nylon, like fishing line is how I would. See, but that's quite wiry to me. It's like a brush. It's like a brush.

It's like a dish. What, like a nylon brush or a boar bristle? No, you know those brushes, your dishwashing brushes you buy from the supermarket? Yes. No, no, no. Your $1 brush. Please, like a Stilo. Yeah.

Your home brand. Home brand Stilo. Your home brand dish brush. Yeah. Anyway, I'm an advocate for it. It is working for sure. It's not guaranteed for everyone, but it's painful. But it's pain at the time and then it goes and then...

And then hopefully your hair grows. And then hopefully your hair grows. We're only doing an update on that. There's no funny story to it. I got it at her and then I went home and then I had a nice party. But we're only doing an update on it because every time I talk about it, people are like, what is this? What does it do? Because how many people would it affect like women? Because you don't...

Predominantly men would use... Well, I think I would say a lot of men use it. So if you are starting to bald or say to thin, you can stimulate that growth and get it going again. But a lot of women have hair loss as well. And don't talk about it because it's very shameful. And it's having great results of lots of people. PRP. Look it up. This is the Kardashians did it. Kourtney Kardashian.

No, which one is she? Kourtney Kardashian. Kourtney Kardashian. She lost a lot of hair and so she got it. It worked for her. And you can get it in your face. It makes your face all juicy and plumped up. Does it start growing hair on your face? No, it doesn't grow hair on your face.

It just stimulates healing. Right. Anyway, watch this space. Or if you want to see it, I'll put a photo on my Instagram.