ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 30th December 2022

Episode Date: December 29, 2022

Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley on doing a Career 180See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try barista-made iced coffees available now at your local McCafe. Okay, this crossed my mind the other day because I thought, hmm, I'd be good at that. And I wanted to ask, I wanted to put it to the group, the three of us,

the three musketeers. Before you even tell us what it is, I very rarely see something. I think, hmm, I'd be good at that. Really? It's not in my, I don't know, it's not in my rhyme. You know what I mean? I never see something like. But you're an arrogant white man that's got an opinion on everything.

Why do you not think that? No, I often just think, I'll do that. Or this is how it should be done yeah right right so it should be done a little later well i wanted to know if you were not in the entertainment industry not on uh radio or not on television or anything like that what would you do for a living that you wouldper. That you would find... Sniper? That you would find fulfilling. Sniper. Sniper.

I'd be a crack sniper for the armed offenders squad. You're wrong, crack. Defender. You can be a sniper. I don't think it's armed offenders. It's armed offenders. You can't sit still. No, it's armed offenders.

It's not armed defenders. It's armed offenders because they're there to take care of the armed offender. But everyone, especially Kiwis Like it's armed offender squad here But aren't they defending No You want to say armed offenders because they're not Pulling up arms in defence

They are there to take care of the offender with arms And I'm not a glory hog Because quite often you're behind the belly clover And so you know You're definitely saying that wrong Did you say glory hole I said I'm not a glory hog behind the balaclava. And so, you know, people just see your baby. You're definitely saying that wrong. Did you say glory hole? I said I'm not a glory hog.

I'm not a glory hole. And I was like, don't tell me twice. Why are you always waving a balaclava? He goes to a glory hole but also wears a balaclava. Just for double anonymity. Always in the media. Well, if they can see through the toilet wall, that's one thing. But you don't want them to be able to see through wool. So that's why he always wears a full face balaclava in a glory hole.

Do you know how you can get here from me asking you what other job you wanted? I don't use glory holes. We was like, at the weekend, I went into a store and they had a big sign. It was like, if you're going to wear a face mask, it's got to be a face mask. You can't wear. And it was a picture of, you know, the glory hole balaclava. Oh, yes. It's like you can't wear a balaclava in the store.

That's not a face mask. All you could do is eat a carrot and that's about it. Basically, yeah. Well, this is what got me thinking about it is because I was drinking a bottle of wine and it was a really nice bottle with a really nice label. And I remember thinking, like, I would love to be a designer of wine bottles. A bottle, to me, the bottle is the advertising.

Yeah, yeah. The bottle tells you so much. And there's the classic bottles like your Tanqueray gin. Yes. I mean, Coca-Cola's the most famous bottle, perhaps of all time. Or like Rogue Society. Oh, no. Scapegoat?

Scapegoat is Rogue Society. Scape Grace. Scapegoat? Scapegoat is Rogue Society. Scape Grace. Scape Grace. With the black and the silver. Yeah, and the flat sides, but they curve in. They're kind of a sexy hourglass shape. The vodka that's a skull. Yes.

And a bottle skull. There's another one. Yep. Like, I just go like designing alcohol bottles. Yeah, I'll open it up from wine because that's what got me thinking about it. But yeah, booze bottles. Yeah. I love a nice bottle. Yeah. And you open it up from wine because that's what got me thinking about it. But yeah, booze bottles. Yeah. I love a nice

bottle. Yeah. And you kind of want to keep it. But you don't because it's trashy. And don't let anybody tell you anything else. Don't have every bottle of spirits if you're drunk this year lined up on any sort of windowsill. It might sound like a cool idea at the moment, but it's not. No. So that's what I'd do. I'd design

booze bottles. Yeah, okay. That would be cool. What would you do, Fletch, if you were out of the radio industry? Well, I've said I'd be a sniper. Oh, yeah? Sorry, you were serious about that? I reckon a cool job would be something at an airport, because I just love airports. Oh, my God.

I mean, I say this with respect. They always look miserable. I would always. Sir, take your belt off. Oh, no, I wouldn't do. Just wait here. No, I wouldn't do. Okay, I wouldn't do security. But just, I don't know. I would always. Sir, take your belt off. Oh, no, I wouldn't do. Just wait here. No, I wouldn't do. Okay, I wouldn't do security.

But just, I don't know. I just love airports. I just think they're great. Traffic controller. No, you want to be down in the buggies on the ground. Ran, hooning around. And I just love to like, I don't know, if someone was just like having a whinge about the weather,

I'd just love to be like, I'm so sorry, Sue. There's nothing we can do about the thunderstorms. Oh, yeah, great. That's out of my control, sir. That's out of my control, Sue. Have you heard of Jesus? And just being really sarky with customers, like, would you just like me to clear the skies then, sir?

Oh, yeah, you'd be good at that. I'd be really good at that, wouldn't I? Maybe that could be your day job and at night you go and snipe. I could sniper. You could be an airport sniper. I could sniper the seagulls that fly into the plains. Yes. Great idea.

Shoot the birds. What would your job be? Two jobs. I'm a simple man. Simplifying the land. I'd love to own an orchard one day. That's my plan. What would you orchard?

I don't know. No, it's too stressful. When it frosts, you've got to get out your helicopter and helicopter away the frost. Oh, boo-hoo, I have to go in a helicopter at night. You want to be a sniper, you can be up in the helicopter too, sniping pigeons. I'm not going in your

rickety fucking helicopter. Yeah, homemade helicopter. Do you know what I really want? On a serious note, what I would love to do is replant an area in native forest. Dude, have you seen that guy who just started one day? Is it that guy in India? Yeah.

He's like, I'm going to replant this forest. Millions of trees now. He just goes around with a sack of seeds. I would love to, if somebody's like, well, this bit of land I don't really use. There's something about replanting native forest. It's good. You're outside. It's exercise. It's therapeutic. You can clear your mind.

You can do anything. It's not overly brain-consuming. No. There might be a bit of planting and stuff beforehand, but that's kind of cool. I know someone that's done that up north. They look after it and they've regenerated it and all the native birds are back. They've got rid of the pests.

It's beautiful. How cool. That's something I'd very much like to do. Might have to look into that in the coming years, I think. Okay, because I would have thought you would have got a Mr. Whippy franchise. Nope. I can't say no.

They'd be like, Mr. Whippy, have you got any ice cream? Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. And if anybody asks who ate it all, fuck off. You've've eaten it fuck off and if anybody asks who ate it all I say

fuck off you got a little bit of flake in your beard and sprinkles let's get it gone it's all

fucking gone you're just so fat I can't ever get out of this room because I ate all the

ice cream you're never going to go through the window yeah you're going to sort of leap

out the window and eat the shit I just back up the window and shit out. And the kids are like, what's happening? And I'm like, fuck off. I said, fuck off. And I just pull up to the picture station. I'm like, fill it up with diesel.

And then fuck off. And fuck off. Oh, can we get an ice cream? So he's filling it up with diesel. I said, fuck off. Like a hermit crab. He said, I can't get out and find a bigger shell. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars

because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends, and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know.

Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review, and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants.

Oh, I was going to say, because that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.