ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 30th January 2023

Episode Date: January 29, 2023

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: News  Bad News Brad!  Matty McLeanPhilip DuncanFact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try and throw in a cup of barista-made coffee on the go. I said McCafe coffee on the go. I screwed that up, didn't I? No, I thought you did a great job.

I thought it was really good. To be honest, I hear it so often I tune out, but because you did something different, by making a mistake Repeating yourself You really dragged me back in To show it's new It's new today isn't it Burruss made coffee on the go

On the go Yeah yeah exactly Good for you Big weekend up here In Dorkland Rain Well and for the Coromandel Yep

Coromandel Hodecky Plains North Island's Fucked basically North Island got a right fucker I mean overseas podcast listeners may have seen some Some shocking footage Yeah but I think yeah

And we'll talk about it on the podcast today Like off the charts rainfall Like unprecedented Are you going to say off the hook? Dude that rain was off the hook But what we do want to talk about is There is a hero walking next to us Oh there is a hero There is a us. Oh, there is a hero.

There is a hero. It's not me. He's at peace. When a hero comes along. I need a hero. With a chimney full of things. Jesus. Yeah, so we were all right, and we were very lucky.

By the way, Vaughn wanted to talk about this. About my hero, okay. I just want to take some of the hero. I wanted to talk about more of the fact that it's easy to pass yourself off as a hero in these times when really you just want to go out for a good nosy.

Oh yeah, that's you. But then you put your hero hat on. But then I put my hero hat on. So you were out rubbernecking the flood damage. Yeah, but I had spades and stuff with me

so I could deny being a rubbernecker if anybody accused me of being a rubbernecker. Okay. So I was out having a look at the damage. I couldn't find any

like immediate stuff. Right. So I was like having a look at the damage. I couldn't find any like immediate stuff. Right. So I was like, I'll head to where it was really badly affected in those floods we had like 18 months ago. You know how 100 year floods are happening every 18 months now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think they need to be renamed. Yeah. Every year floods. Yeah. Yeah. Just normal. The annual flood. Here comes the flood.

Yeah. Here comes the rain again Lots of songs about rain I learnt over the weekend Yeah So I went down towards And I saw An older gentleman

On the side of the road In his jandals Yeah And I pulled over I was like Are you alright Do you need a hand with anything He's like

Can you rebuild a bridge And pointed at a bridge That had been like Washed out It was still there But it had been shunted Like a couple of metres to the side. And it was all like, actually, yes, I can. I was actually like, how sturdy do you need to be?

So I could go home and get the Land Rover. We could pull that back into place and just nail it down for time. And then I was like, oh, shit, but he was a bit unsteady on his feet. So I was like, oh, let me help you out. Because so much of the bridge had been broken and there were nails upturned and it was slippery and he had to climb over it and there was jandals unseated on his feet. So I moved a whole lot of stuff to help him get through. And then I went back and as I arrived back,

a girl said, a lady, a female. Gee, there was a panic. Look at me fluster. A girl. A female. Boobies, boobies. A bird said to me. A chicken. A girl. A female. Boobies, boobies. A bird said to me, a chicken. A chicken to eat.

A sheila. A sheila. I said, could you give me a hand carrying a hay bale? I've got horses stranded over there. Oh, okay. So I was like, of course. She's like, help. Help.

Marry me. Well, after I untied her off the train tracks and defeated the villain with a long, curly black mustache. Hey, you spoiled my plans again. I said, yeah, sure. And she said, so we're going to go over there. I was like, oh, I just went across that bridge. And she's like, and then the next bit.

And it was like the banks had burst in the river and the low lying bit next to it was all full of water. Oh, right. And I was like, yes, because now I get to walk through the water and I get to have a nosy at what that property is that it says at the gate, private property, no entrance. He's such a nosy old mate. He is, eh? So I was a nosy old mate. And I said, yeah, I'll carry a hay bale. And I picked up two hay bales.

That's hot. And she's like, two? One in each hand. And I started walking and she's like, you're going to be all right with two? And I turned and I said to the Sheila, I said, no, I was like, yeah, yeah, no, no, all good. And as I was walking, I was like, not all good. And my arms and shoulders were burning,

but I couldn't put the bales out. No, you couldn't. I told her I could do it. So once we got across the bridge to the next bit, I took a little bit of a break, and I said, do you need a hand, because she was carrying one. Yeah. And then we got into the middle bit.

Were you going to do three? No, I was going to go back and grab her one so she could you need a hand? Because she was carrying one. Yeah. And then we got into the middle. Were you going to do three? No, I was going to go back and grab her one so she could be, but she's like, oh, I'm fine. And so I stood in the middle and did that thing. You know, when you're at the gym or you're really tired in the arms and you just gently shake your arms, you're like, oh my God. You've got a lactic acid build up there. A lactic acid. A lactic acid build.

So I do a few breathing exercises. I actually got into the cold water and went. You huffed. I huffed in the storm water. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not pleasure. And then I... Back down the road like that. Did you tip your hat? I tipped my hat. You better have tipped your hat. I tipped my hat. And then I went round clearing out culverts on the side of the road that were blocked up with debris.

And so the water was getting there and then overflowing onto the road. Right. That's not your job, though. I know it's not my job, but the satisfaction of... That is such a you attitude. That's not really my job. Is that flesh speaking or Mayor Wayne Brown? Who famously said, what do you want me to do, get in the buckets?

It's not really my place. Do fucking something? No, no, say something. Yeah, no, too many voices. You're the mayor. Say something, you fucking old prick. God, he's been holding that in all show, hasn't he? I've really been biting my tongue on that.

But yeah, two types of culvert blockage. One, like a silt and stones and stuff that got washed down in the heavy rain. Now, you'd get a spade in there and you'd feel the end of the concrete thing and you'd get it in there and you'd wedge it and you'd hear... Oh, yum! And the water would start getting sucked in like the end of the bath. And then you'd just wiggle it and let it go and it'd go... oh, yum. And the water would start getting sucked on like the end of the bath. And then you'd just wiggle it and let it go,

and it'd go, out the other end of the culvert. It was good stuff. That's good stuff. I'm going to need a new chair. It was good stuff. Yeah. You've just released the culvert.

I've just released a little culvert myself. And it was like branches and sticks and debris blocking it up, and the spade couldn't always get in there, so you'd just have to stick a hand blindly into the thing and grab a handful of it yuck yeah you might finger a koi carp but there were eels did i send you the video of the eel and the drain

yuck yuck yuck i couldn't get his little pipe unblocked no that doesn't sound right um but yeah yeah it was crazy and it's horrible and people have lost so much. But I've said to multiple, I've said to you, I've said it to my wife, a bit of a Michelle Obama moment for me. For God's sake, are you reading her book? You're on such an Obama buzz right now. I almost got her book on Friday when it was raining. I almost got her book on the Kindle.

But it sucks that it takes something so fucking horrible happening for people to just be like, actually, I will go just help people. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The community pages were amazing. Seeing people like, we've got blankets, we've got room, we've got couches, we've got space, we've got food. It's awesome.

Step away from the, I don't know, your little entrenched political, you know, warfess spots. And everybody just kind of mucked in and helped out where they could or asked for help. And then people helped. Yeah, that was pretty cool, but horrible that it has to, you know, come at such expense. Indeed.

What about you, Fletch? Anything to add there with that emotional little Michelle Obama moment? It was kind of like four stories up, so I didn't really get affected. Yeah. You actually wanted the water to rise, didn't you? Well, it's like a claim to new carpet. Well, no, you just wanted to see how close it could get. Yeah, you were screaming out the window, is this all you've got, God?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was nuts. But even you were in downtown Auckland. I know. It was up to your knees. Downtown Auckland's not meant to be up to your knees in water. Like, I couldn't get, like, we came back from Elton John, weaved some back roads when that was cancelled and, like, we couldn't get close.

So I just waded through like meter deep water in some parts of the city it was nuts it was yeah it had a real popular vibe to it interesting that you

guys because I didn't wade in the water and I'm an image of health but both you guys went wading through this water you've both got the sniffles today we do we do

you've got the poo poo sniffles I've got a wedding coming up in a couple of weeks a little bout of diarrhea would be good Well you are model dimensions

I am model dimensions but I had a bad weekend Well you don't want too much Not too much diarrhoea That's the problem, it's gone to your head, this model dimensions thing You'll get back in your suit and it'll be a little tight Yeah I got carried away I got pleased with myself at the weekend Spoilt myself, oopsie do

Hello, good morning, welcome to the show Kent, spoil myself. Oopsie-daisy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Apologies. It appears on a public holiday in Auckland, the news department haven't turned up. News is on snooze. The news.

Which would be nice today. You know what? As another wet storm approaches. Oh, God. I just went on NZ Herald, my chosen news source. Yes. She's a company girl. She's a company girl.

And there are pictures of these Auckland mansions clinging to cliffs saying, yes, we are very vulnerable. Why'd you buy a house on a cliff? And I say this coming from Wellington where all houses are on a cliff. Yes. It happened quick. It's happened quick. Oh, my God.

What an insane weekend. What a weekend. I woke up from a nap on Friday afternoon and my daughter said, Dad, it's raining. I said, yes, I can hear that. And they said, no, it's really raining. And there was like rivers flowing around our house and our bin was like, wee, I'll see you later. I was like, bin, you get back here. You get back here, you've got rubbish to hold.

Yeah. And, oh, that was just the start of it. Well, I was in Christchurch, 29 degrees, blue skies. Oh, yes. At a wedding. And then Aaron texts me to say that our macerator, which takes all of our toilet waste. Yeah.

And mulches it down so that our old pipes can handle it. He said, are the alarms going off? And I was like, dude, I don't care. And he's like, no, no, no, there's a flood under our house. And I was like, not now. And then popping off around the wedding was like, oh no, Auckland's underwater. The thing if we'd learn anything from this weekend, it's if you're at the airport and the news crew come and talk to you,

just remember that you're going to play after everybody that's died and lost their house. Yeah. Oh, no. I can't go to the Kauru Club. I know. They won't let me into the Kauru Club. My flight's been delayed an hour. Kind of put it in perspective.

Obviously, thoughts go out to the families affected and people who have lost their houses and lost their family members. When it first started happening, I said to Mawath, I said to Sade, now's not the time,

I said to Sade, I was like, have a guess, what do you reckon the cost, because you know, at the end of it, the approximate cleanup costs or the estimated,

I haven't heard any numbers chucked around yet. When I first heard it, I was like, oh, it'll be in the hundreds of millions. It's got to be in the billions. It's got to be in the billions. Well, there was that car dealership on the North Shore

that lost like 50 Defenders. Yeah, like brand new European fancy cars. They drowned a Defender. And those things have a wading depth of 90 centimetres. So the water was up over 90 centimetres. Do you think they'll be selling them off for cheap? I will have one. Yeah, I'll give it a spruce. I'll get the Bissell out. Oh my god. And then come over and Bissell my new Defender.

Do you want me to Bissell your new Defender? Do you want a Defender? Absolutely. But yeah, I think insane amounts of rainfall. We're going to catch up this morning on the show with Philip Duncan from Weather Watch. We've had another inch of rain so far at my house today, according to my weather station. Jeepers.

I don't need that. We had five. So on Friday, at my house, we had 200 mils of rain in one day, and all of it fell from lunchtime on. So 12 hours, 200 mils. That's nuts. That's a 20 centimetre. That's 20 centimetres deep of water everywhere.

Yeah. Every piece of earth. Wait, it was up to, what, 250 mils in some places. In some parts, yeah, with the extreme downpours. Yeah, it's nuts. All right. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, the top six craziest things I saw on the news over the weekend.

Quite a lot. It was wild. It was like you were watching all of the world. Ending. Yeah, but it was just in Auckland. Yeah. It was like you were watching all of the world. Ending. Yeah, but it was just in Auckland. Yeah. It was crazy. Oh, except one thing happened in Christchurch that was real cute that was on the news last night

that definitely deserves a mention. All right, this is coming up in the top six. Next on the show. Marie Kondo. She's back in the news. The cleaning, the Netflix cleaning lady. Well, that she was. Yeah.

However, there's been an update on Marie Kondo's life. Marie Kondo, who became rather famous for her Netflix series, Tidying Up. Is that what it's called? About decluttering your home. Yeah. And getting rid of things. When was that? Pre?

I want to say four years ago. 2019. Oh, pre. Yeah. And getting rid of things. When was that? Pre? I want to say four years ago. 2019. Oh, pre. Yeah, God, I'm good. God, 2019, eh? What a time. What a time. Far out.

We had no idea. We didn't even know. We didn't even know. Yeah, we were just taking advice from a small, very quaint Japanese lady on how to tidy up our lives. And how to just get rid of things that don't spark joy. Exactly. That was the saying, right?

That was the saying. And then people would be breaking up with their boyfriend and be like, he didn't spark joy anymore. Well, Marie Kondo has a new book coming out. It's called Marie Kondo's Kurashi at Home, How to Organise Your Space and Achieve Your Ideal Life. And then she was doing a webinar to promote this book and then they were asking about her current life

and she's given birth to her third kid. Right. Good luck keeping a tidy house now. As a result, she has said, I've sort of given up on the whole tidy house thing. And everyone was like, hang on, because we threw out a lot of our shit. Because you told me to do that. And now was like, hang on, because we threw out a lot of our shit. Because you told me

to do that. And now she's doing the opposite. Yeah, she said, you know, like tidying up was what she was all about. But at the moment, my home is messy. The way I'm spending my time is the right way for me at this time and stage of my life. She said, I have been a professional tidier, so I did my best to

keep my home tidy at all times. Kind of given up on that. Kind of given up on that? Kind of given up on that? Yeah. Okay. Now I just realise what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home. I threw out two of my older children because they weren't sparking joy. And now she's telling me I should have kept them? Ron and Dana.

I miss Ron and Dana so much. The twins. The twins. Ron and Dana. But when it came down to the four kids, keeping Augie and Indy Were kind of the obvious choice I think they were the cute two Ron and Dana were a bit Because they were the twins

So they looked alike And the look was ugly I didn't want to tell you At the time But I saw Ron having a cigarette I did Ron had a cigarette And I saw it

Bad Little bitch No it was a she Rhonda Oh Rhonda But Ron for short And Dara Because I was confused

We shouldn't have called them Rhonda and Dara Rhondara It's kind of like one name But it was Rhonda and Dara. Rhonda and Dara. It's one name. But it was Rhonda and Dara, so Rhonda went by Ron. Right. Where are they now?

That is a very good question. Chuck them out. Put them in a skip. Okay. They just live on the test. I saw they were driving the overnight for main freight from Auckland, Wellington. Right. Ron would drive down and then Dara would drive back. How old are these kids that you threw out? Oh, they're 18 now. Right. Okay. Yeah, and then Dara would drive back. How old are these kids that you threw out?

Oh, they're 18 now. Right. Okay. Yeah, right. Yeah, that was 2019. So they'd be in their early 20s now. Oh, they'd failed NCEA. So, right.

Okay. Gone. Not sparking joy. All the best to them. Get rid of them. It's probably actually Dara's probably driving now the leg back because Dara always drives back. Daddy, do you want a message to the dinner?

Not really. You've cut them off. Pulled your socks up. Didn't spark any joy, did you? Yeah. Okay. Next on the show, they probably drove a Hino. That's embarrassing for the family too.

Oh, for God's sake. Get a Scania. Get a Scania. Scania. Are we right? Have some pride. Jesus. Dara.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You may have received a Facebook message from one of many accounts that they're all very religious in tone. God is powerful could be one of them, for example. Mine was called My Daily Prayers. My Daily Prayers. Yes, God's blessings. God is good all the time. St. Mary of the Angels.

And they have been in overdrive spamming New Zealanders left, right and centre. Yeah. Well, it turns out it's a recruitment drive. Oh, okay. Because it reads like spam and you're like, what's the deal here? But it is a religious organisation. There's been an investigation into it. And somebody followed the breadcrumbs.

Yeah. and somebody followed the breadcrumbs and came to a lady who is a well-known, if you're in those circles, a well-known online preacher, Vivian Lee. And these are all people that belong to her church. One of the journalists messaged back saying, I'm keen or whatever. And they said, yeah, send me your Facebook, please. And then you do and you get added to a group so if you do say yeah I'm

keen right they add you to a group of other people and there's just like this big online chat of of God chat right so it is like it's it is kind of legit it's not I mean they want your details because they want your money a little bit yeah make a little bit of to make a little bit of a tithe, make a bit of a tithe here, tithe there. Mine was inviting me to a Bible study that night. Yeah, online Bible study or in-person Bible study? Right.

They do a lot of online Bible studies apparently. Oh, no, I believe it's God's plan for us to meet online. Yeah. Oh, yeah, so they get you. How many of these have you got? None. Zero. Oh.

I have not been contacted. Maybe they know. What, even the Korean doomsday cult Shin Joong-Shi have written me off? You haven't even got one from them. I haven't even got one from them? Well, they don't want you in. You'd be the worst member of a doomsday cult. You'd want all the attention.

Can I also just point out? You'd want to go first. Can I point out that you've got Satan on your top today? I do. The Hellfire Club. The Hellfire Club. The T-shirt from Stranger Things. I feel like that's giving off a pretty strong message.

You know? Maybe it's the satanic panic that's freaking them out. They should talk to me and I can talk to Satan. Does it not want a challenge? Send Vaughn a message. Yeah, yeah. Love a challenge. Yeah.

So, yeah, apparently the remnants of a Korean doomsday cult, former members. Right. That's the thing about a doomsday cult. You know, when it doesn't happen, when you say it's going to happen, you've kind of got to admit that you were wrong. And if you can be wrong about one thing, you can be wrong about it all, can't you?

You look a little bit silly, don't you? I look a little bit silly. Like that time we built an ark for the end of the world in 2012. You looked a bit silly. We looked a bit silly. You looked a little bit silly. I love, like, don't get? I look a little bit silly. Like that time we built an ark for the end of the world in 2012. We looked a bit silly. We looked a bit silly. You looked a little bit silly. I love, don't get me wrong,

the Mayan culture. Phenomenal, those pyramids they built and everything. Great chocolate. But I'm, phenomenal chocolate. Phenomenal chocolate. Well known for it.

Cocaine. Oh, coffee. It's got your three C's. Cocaine, coffee, chocolate. Wow.

Well, it's not to trust about these people, but you can't trust a jacked up coke fiend who's got type 2 diabetes with your end of world predictions that happened thousands of years after they've stopped being a civilization. Speaking of meeting God, did you hear about that woman who died for 15 minutes but remembered five years of living in heaven? Five years.

Oh, time passes different in heaven. Five years. Time passes different in heaven, doesn't it? Yeah, so she had an accident, was pronounced clinically dead. Yeah. And what she didn't know is she was dead for 15 minutes.

That's a long time to be dead. And then in that time though, she remembers clearly five years in heaven. She's got all these like details and stories of her years in heaven.

What did she do in heaven? What did she do? Time did not exist in heaven. Well, how did she know it was five years? She could walk at a rate of about three to six miles per hour in real life. She used that to chronicle time as she moved around heaven. So she moved nonstop in heaven to chronicle time. Is there a food court?

She was in a big, oh my God, I would love it. She said it was an incredible place, striking visuals. She found herself in a field of flowers, a mountain range 30,000 times huger than Mount Everest. Oh wow. Her choice of words. Okay, just back to your heaven food court. Everybody's food court in heaven is different.

Your six, what are your six cuisines in the food court? Oh, you've got to have all of the main ones. Obviously, there'd be an Indian. Oh, my God. There's got to be more curry. There's got to be an Indian. Yeah. I would have an Indian, but it's, like, restaurant quality Indian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Same. Because, like, food court Indian's not always good. My food, near me, the food court's good. Sometimes. It's great. I'd have a Thai. What do you mean?

You have a Thai. You've only got six. Calm down. And a food court. Yeah, but I'm going for what I mean. No, kebab. I'm Thai at your food court. You've only got six. Calm down. At a food court? Yeah, but I'm going for what I mean. No, kebab. You've only got kebab. Oh, I see.

Oh, no. Yes. You're going to have a Macca's? Yeah. Show sponsor. Show sponsor. Kebab. It has a McCafe as well, I believe.

Attached, yeah. Yeah, attached as well, yeah. And what about a Mexican? Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Italian? Where does this guy go to the mall?

Italian. What? Italian? You've got to have a... My local food is bougie food. No, you've got to have a Chinese. You've got to have a Chinese. You've got to have a Chinese.

You've got to have a Chinese. Oh, but then you've also got to have a Korean fried chicken. Maybe I'd drop the... Or a Japanese. Oh, my God. Because then you haven't thought about sushi. Sushi. Can we have eight?

Can we have eight? It's heaven, mate. Please, God. Please, God, can we have eight? God, please. Sorry, I... No, God, can we have eight? God, please. Sorry, nope. Please. The same rules for Jesus?

My chosen son as for you, who I made in my image. I think on Friday we should do final rankings food court. Yeah. Rad. Absolutely. Room for a fish and chipper? No, that's not a food court. No, that's not a food court.

Food court fish and chips. Food court fish and chips. Suck No, that's not a food court. No, that's not a food court. I'll say it's the guy who said Italian. Food court, fish and chips. Suck. You get Italian at a food court. You get pizza and pasta. No. I mean, it's not great, but it's there. Chinese.

I'm not getting pasta at a food court. Well, we can debate this on Friday for final rankings. I want Chinese. Sorted. Silly little poll. I want more Chinese. Now, though. Oh, now you want it.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hit the button. Look at me like that. You look at me like that again, I'll slap that. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little Paul. Silly little Paul. It is so silly, silly, silly

that the silly little Paul. Silly little Paul. Silly silly little pole, silly little pole. God, aren't we snotty little buggers? We're snotty little bitches. I blame Hayley. I did this. You did this to us. I had a summer cold at the end of our holidays.

We came back last week and I was a bit rough. And now I'm healed, all but. And you two have got the summer cold. The worst part, I had the sore throat as the precursor. And then I think it was Saturday. Yeah. This all happened. The snot came.

I know because has your sore throat gone and now the snot? But it sounds like I've still got a sore throat, but it's just a bit snotty. To be honest, it's a bit sexy. My throat over the weekend. You're vibrating the table. I'm telling you that. I said something to Sade and she was like, say that again. Oh.

I was like, pass me that salt, please. Well, that marriage is still sexy, isn't it? Yeah. We surprise each other every now and then. Did you have the sore throat and then the snot? No, I didn't have a sore throat. I just had a little cough and a snot. Men get it harder, though, don't we?

We suffer more. It hits us harder. Well, you complain more, yeah. It's the X-Gene. Yeah. The X-Gene, is that the one that we've... We've got the X-Y, you complain more, yeah. It's the X gene. Yeah. The X gene? Is that the one that we've... We've got the XY.

You guys have got the double Y chromosomes. My double Y. Your double Y. We're XY. It's because we've got genitals on the outside. Yeah, mine are like a neat little pocket, you know? Yeah. We should have the Y chromosome because it looks like a little diddle, doesn't it?

That's the diddle. You've got two Ys. Yeah. We've got an X and a Y. You guys should have the Xs. Yeah. With the nipples.'s. Yeah. We've got an X and a Y. You guys should have the X's. Yeah. With the nipples. These dickheads, they were thinking these scientists. It's been sorted now. Well, we've got a silly little poll

for you. Is sushi a lunch only food? I took this as meaning sushi's not for dinner. To me, it's not for dinner. This came to me when a friend the other day on his Instagram story put up a giant platter of sushi at like 8 o'clock at night.

Now, Japanese cuisine is delicious dinner. Oh, don't get me wrong. It's sashimi is part of like, you know. Sashimi and nigiri sushi. But we're talking about the roll, like the California roll, sushi roll. Yeah, sushi rolls. Which, I mean, people will do for dinner. But to me, if you're going to have Japanese, teppanyaki.

Can we also mention the fact that we've had sushi for breakfast quite often? Yeah, you guys have. No, no, that is for lunch. That's his second meal. He has an extraordinarily early lunch. 10 a.m., we've had 10 a.m. sushi. Yeah, but that's when I have lunch. Because we have breakfast at 5 a.m.

Yeah. So that's fine. But there's a sushi place next to where we are now that opens at like 5 a.m. When we get here, it's already open. So often when we leave, if I'm hungry, I'll get a couple of bits of sushi. Yeah, just get it wrong. But for dinner, I've got a hard, if I don't have sushi for lunch, sushi rolls. You can't have sushi that day.

If I had a bento box and it's in there, I'll have a couple, but I won't like it. I'll be like, this could be something else. Reluctantly cram the sushi in. It's relatable. If nothing else, very relatable. No, sushi is a lunch only food. What do the people say, Vaughan? Well, I was just looking at what is a traditional Japanese breakfast, having never been to Japan

and enjoyed their traditional cuisine in Japan. What do they have for breakfast? It was just toast. Toast? You know they love like that real nice thick fluffy white bread.

No, I think you're confusing Japan with Britain. Is London not in? London's not in Japan. Not in Tokyo. No, when I went to Tokyo I just had toast and eggs. Oh.

Was that in a little box? Yeah. It was in a little tray box. You're cute. Steamed rice, miso soup, grilled fish, eggplant. So just kind of what you have next door at 10 a.m. Yes. Right.

Okay. Yeah. It's just anything goes. So we asked you, is sushi a lunch-only food? That's how I assume their name is best said. Is the images not loading for you? No, E-I-L-I-D-H, E-I-E-O, Old MacDonald had a farm. Yeah.

And bingo was his name. E-I-L-I-D-H. Elodie. Elodie. Did you give the poll results? You haven't given the poll results. Jesus. Many thousands of apologies.

I'm sorry. Born suffering from a cold. Is sushi a lunch only food? Yes. 47%. No. 53%. Equals split.

It's close. It's really close. It's close, but some people can't be stopped. They love sushi for afternoon tea. What did a little little bee say? My children all have after school sushi. Yum. Hell of these.

Who's raising these children? Yeah. Not on my watch. They not want biscuits. Oh, they want biscuits as well. Oh, okay. They not want fruit and biscuits. Sometimes they'll eat just a slice of cheese.

Yeah, yum. Yum. I'll do that. Don't say that like it's a bad thing. No, I know. We were never allowed just to eat a slice of cheese. Oh, we were. We had one of those cheese slices.

Yes. And we'd just go in the fridge. Yeah, with the wire. Yeah. And just take a couple of cheese. Oh, we were. Put that on a cracker. We need one of those cheese slices. With the wire? Yeah, with the wire. Yeah. And just take a couple of slices. And then sometimes the wire would get a bit, like, floppy. Loose. And you'd get a real thick piece.

Thick piece. What that means is when you first put it on, if we'd have got slack on one side, you could slack line it down the cheese. Yeah. Yeah, good stuff. Still go tight. A little diddly diddly dee says,

I want sushi, I eat sushi. So that's, like, no rules applied to them. Yeah, right. Sushi, says Mac, sushi is traditionally more of a dinner food, but you Westerners bastardized it. Is it really? Can we just say, they've got a Japanese surname, so I think we should listen.

Yeah, Mac Kaneko. Kaneko. Sushi is traditionally more of a dinner food, but you Westerners bastardise it in a way that it's more suited for lunch. Trust me on this, I'm from Japan. Me go. Oh, sorry about it.

Fair call, though. In general, we're sorry about being Westerners. Also, on all topics. I don't think we owe you any apologies. You want to look at that French bastard, Saint Pierre. That guy. That guy did it. He made it a lunch thing, not us.

There's not a chain called Vaughan Sushi. There's just not. No. There guy did it. He made it a lunch thing, not us. He really did. There's not a chain called Vaughan Sushi. There's just not. No. There probably is somewhere. Somewhere. I hope not. Yeah, Google Vaughan Sushi.

It'll be in New York, I bet you. Sushi Vaughan? No, that will be Sushi in Vaughan. Sushi Vaughan? Yeah, that's again, that's in Vaughan. Did you put Vaughan apostrophe S? No, let me do that now. So it's the sushi of Vaughan?

Vaughan Sushi. Nah, no. Thank God. We're just coming up with sushi restaurants in the town Vaughan. I hear a business. Gemma, if there's one thing this country needs, there's another place to get sushi. Gemma, if there's one thing this country needs, there's another place to get sushi. Gemma says, OMFG, I'm a sushi...

Struggle for that. Why can't you say that? I'm a sushi-making queen, and it's the best dinner when you have your daughter's two friends for a sleepover. Fill them up with carbs, and then they have a coma early night because they're full of carbs. Hot tip. Paul says, it makes a good breakfast and afternoon snack.

Yeah. Paul's just an all-around-the-clock sushi guy. Jane. St. Pierre's style sushi for lunch. Sushi train style sushi. Dinner. Nicer sushi. Aren't they the same sushi?

No, but just nicer. And more options. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it? Samantha says bought from a shop as lunch. Homemade sushi as dinner. Ain't nobody got time I tried once

remember it was so floppy did you buy the rolly yeah I bought the rolly and the seaweed and stuff and then I didn't roll it tight enough yeah it's got to be a tight roll

gotta keep it really tight I don't know what the South Africans have to do with the tight roll on the Japanese sushi but they know it's got to be tight

my son loves sushi will happily have it anytime he likes, says Angela. Because the Tron has finally got an effing sushi train and I'm holding all hopes we

have the population here to keep it open. I will eat it any time. Plus, why does everyone here hate Hamilton? Next poll, please.

Not everybody here hates Hamilton. You're from Hamilton. I love Hamilton. You love Hamilton. I love Hamilton. Love a sushi train. They always put the

most expensive things on the expensive plates, don't they? Yeah. You put your plates back on. Wait, he was back on this. You keep the cheap plates. You eat a lot of the cheap plates, but then you treat yourself to a few nice ones, but just put the plates back on the sushi. No, that's not how it works.

That's actually train robbery. That's train robbery. Yeah, that's the great train robbery. Reach for the skies. I'm taking some eel. And I am a damn man gonna make me pay for it. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey.

Play ZM. Shannon Lett Pajamas at the social media desk was telling me, Shannon, that's her, one of the nicknames we're trying for her. Working title. Shannon Lett Pajamas at the social media desk was telling me, Shannon, that's one of the nicknames we're trying for her. Working title. Shanalee Pajamas.

You were saying Elton John after the, was it the Friday show or when they cancelled Saturday? Straight after Saturday, he took a private jet to Hawaii. Yeah. Wow. And people were tracking his flight and they were like, bye Elton. I don't think that mic's working. You're coming through on someone else's mic.

Are you? Am I? No, I really like it. I don't think that mic's working. You're coming through on someone else's mic. Are you? Am I? No, I really like, I like the tinniness of Shanalee's pyjamas. Like she's in a little box. Right, okay, so he wasn't sticking around then. No. So you went on Friday, but you left the house, right? Like you were on your way. Oh yeah, we got there. We got there and it was like quarter past seven and they said it's not happening.

You and thousands of others. Because wasn't it like be seated at 7.30 or Alton's, yeah. Alton will slap you. It was insane. And so at quarter past seven everyone's there and they're like,

sorry guys. Yeah. But I saw some people like really upset on the news but I was just like, oh well. Yeah. And then we waited back

the two Ks to the car and it was, yeah. It was a wild night. The jet ski, you should have taken the jet ski. Well, if we'd known.

You would have taken the jet ski. I don't have a jet ski but yeah. Maybe after this now you'll get one. jet ski. Well, if we'd known. You would have taken the jet ski. I don't have a jet ski, but yeah. Maybe after this now you'll get one. I think it's about time to invest in one. Yeah. Oh, wow. You just, you buy one and you use it, you know, once or twice.

I saw it out. I saw it out in 2007. I'm all right. I was disappointed, but. I just don't think I'm meant to see him, you know, like last show. Yeah, I saw him in 2020. What, it was five songs and he left? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Now, doctors have done a medical, a scientific medical experiment. Is that the proper name for it? I believe so. A scientific medical experiment. And I don't know why they did this. I think it's because children frequently swallow things. Yes.

Like items, small items. Coins. I used to always swallow coins. Batteries. Batteries are the really bad ones. They'll burn a hole in your stomach. Because when it gets into the stomach, it completes a circuit,

and if there's any charge left in it, it'll just burn through. So the aim was to see how long it would take these items, such items, to pass through the body. From the mouth to the anus. So six pediatricians, healthcare professionals, were recruited to swallow a Lego head. H.

Okay. A little minifig head. Yes. Now, what they did is they called it the primary outcome was the found and retrieved time. The FART score. F-A-R-T. Found and retrieved time.

They're just having a bit of fun, aren't they? The average, how long do you think the average Lego head took to pass from mouth to toilet? They needed to eat corn with it as well to see if the corn got through quicker. I had a cob last night looking forward to spotting that. You had a corn cob last night. Man, how good is corn? Dude. Yeah, corn's great.

Corn. I've been saying it way before that kid. Okay. Yeah, I had, yeah. It's a little competition. It's like he created corn. Yeah. Get lost, kid.

Calm down, kid. I don't know, a few days? No. 1.71 days. I would have said less than a day. But would a child be the same? Quick metabolism. Short colon.

Because they're shorter. The food goes through them quicker. Little colon, yeah. Because remember, I've got a very, very long colon. Well endowed. Yes. There's nothing semi about your colon. No.

That's right, because you had the test, didn't you? I had the colonoscopy and they said, good lord, it's not in there. They had to put an extension cord on it. Yeah, they had to bring it back out and put an extension. One of those Gardena things to put two hoses together. Yeah, join two hoses and keep winding it through. So things, that's why I don't go to the bathroom as frequently as you two.

It takes a long time in my long colon. Because you're endowed, yeah. Why do they do Lego heads? Well, they just swallowed toys. Right. It just feels like nowadays there would have been something they could track. Oh, like an ear tag. Yeah.

Apple ear tag. That's got a battery in it. That's got a battery in it. Yeah, that'll burn a hole in you. But if you could have sealed something and swallowed it, because surely you could make something and then it could... A camera of sorts. Stand in front of something and it's like an X-ray and it in you. But if you've got to seal something and swallow it, because surely you could make something and then it could... A camera of sorts. Stand in front of

something and it's like an x-ray and it scans you, it shows you where you are and so you can see how long it's spent and whatever. A mini drone.

This just sounds like they did this as a gag. Yep. To get in a medical journal? Yeah. Yeah, it does sound like that.

Get a bit of funding. And then just go on a holiday to Fiji or something. Yeah. Or go out and have a succulent Chinese meal to see if it pushed it through any quicker or not. Yeah.

Well, if you're swallowing Lego, well, 1.71 days. It'd be pretty grim when they pop those back on their heads of bloody Darth Vader for the Lego set, isn't it? Oh, God. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the Panoramic ZM Think tank, this is the Top 6. Hello there, Top 6.

Weirdest things I saw on the news over the weekend. You must say the winner at the weekend was TikTok content. Oh, my God. Because people were out in it. It was insane, the videos. Just insane. Bananas. We were just talking about the bloody bridge

behind my house got washed away. Yeah, one got washed away. Like, bridges were just getting smashed with debris. It's crazy. Actually, you know what? The additional seventh thing

of the top six weirdest things I saw on the news in the weekend. Well, it's not the top seven. Well, it is today. Number seven on the list, the floating supermarket. My God. Is it the Parkinson's? The on the list, the floating supermarket. My God.

Is it the Parkinson's? The Parkinson's in Wairau Valley. And the guy just sitting on the ladder eating chips? I know. Dude, let's face it. He's the hero we need, but we don't deserve. I was like, you know what? That would be me too.

Well, I can't go anywhere. And I'm hungry. Because Karimiya from Raw, all I could think when I was watching that was, how are they not being electrocuted? Because fuses would have popped off the minute,

like, the freezers and stuff started getting flooding, but surely there would have been a rogue spark in the water. That's what I thought every time I saw anybody in the water over the weekend,

I was like, get out. Because I had a mate see me in video, someone was on the treadmill at a gym, one of those 24 hour swipe engines,

because they had to close those eventually. Someone was Someone was on the treadmill at a gym, one of those 24-hour swipe-in gyms. Yeah. Because they had to close those eventually. Yeah. Someone was just running on a treadmill surrounded by water. It's definitely plugged into the wall. Lying on the weight bench. Yeah. Yeah.

Doing chest press. The weights would be a little bit easier underwater. Easier underwater, yeah. Get a new PB. Number six on the top six weirdest things I saw on the news over the weekend, the bus driving through water up to the windscreen, and no one on the bus really, like, freaking out like I would have been. Everyone's just like, yeah.

They're all like, yeah, go, keep going, don't stop, don't stop. This bus has just, like, got water on the windscreen. Pressure. That's actually... It was nuts. Like, the next morning, the amount of cars just on the side of the road because they'd obviously stopped working. Yeah.

Yeah. Flooded and abandoned. And number five on the list of the top six weirdest things they just on the side of the road because they'd obviously stopped working. Yeah. Flooded and abandoned. Number five on the list of the top six weirdest things that's thrown in the news over the weekend. Children behind Wendy Petrie swimming in the gross stormwater at the Domain. Yeah, there was poos in that, definitely. All of those children have diarrhea today. Didn't producer Carwin go for a little walk in the Domain? Channelet Pajamas, I think.

Oh, was it Channelet Pajamas? Producer Channelet Pajamas. And what did you say About the water Oh it smelled feral Yeah Disgusting The whole thing

And it was probably A metre deep still And that was yesterday Wow Also Did anybody else Want Wendy Petrie To tell that dog to shut up

Oh my god Yeah If your dog's barking In the background Of a live broadcast Of the 60 o'clock news Shut your stupid little dog up I saw her put her behind the scenes photo up.

She was wearing her sneakers. You'd never know. Oh, you'd never know. Formal up top, sneakers on the bottom. Remember when Tova O'Brien wore, was it Tova who wore sneakers at the Queen's funeral? That is correct. Wow. Embarrassing.

Four on the list of the top six weirdest things I saw on the news over the weekend. Did you see the derailed log train in Te Puke? Yes. That happened yesterday. And it was surrounded by flooded fields. It looked like it wasn't in New Zealand. It looked like overseas footage. That's what so much of this is.

It's like, wait a minute, I know that petrol station. I've got a pie from there when I've been boozed and now it's underwater. Like, that's the freaky thing about all of this. Number three on the list of the top six weirdest things I saw on the news over the weekend, Auckland's new seaport. That looks a lot like Auckland's old airport. Yeah.

Which is now, I don't know, at sea? Yeah. Full of water? What? Number two on the list of the top six weirdest things I saw on the news over the weekend, a welcome reprieve from just, you know, the footage of flood and devastation in the North Island. Ryan Boswell's funny little hat he wore while covering the only story on the news not about the North Island flooding.

He was talking about water quality at beaches in Christchurch and he was wearing a funny little hat. But he's also a bald brother and it was very hot in Christchurch at the weekend. Sunscreen up. He was wearing a full, he was wearing a suit jacket. Ditch the suit jacket. With a funny little hat. Yeah.

Just go light shirt. Yeah, right. He looked like he was one of those punters on the Avon. Or a punter that goes to the Christchurch races. Very smart.

Smart little straw fedora. And number one on the list of the top six weirdest things I saw on the news over the weekend, basically everything Auckland Mayor Wayne Brown did. From the, we'll see how Wellington goes

in a big earthquake, to what do you want me to do, get the buckets, to the stammering insanity when he was finally part of a press conference and he was like, pointing like an angry grandad

that was on the verge of saying something very racist. And Chris Hipkins' face in the background, just like, huh? My favourite was, well the priority is we need to get the rain to stop. Yeah, what we need right now is for the rain to stop. OK.

You know what? It's still raining and it's Monday morning. This rain's not listening to the mayor at all. Oh, my God. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Honolulu Zoo. Have you been? A long time ago. Don't cancel me. It should be called Honolulu Zoo Zoo. Honolulu Zoo Zoo.

Honolulu Zoo Zoo. Why would you be cancelled for going to Honolulu Zoo Zoo? Well, zoos are bad, aren't they? No. Yeah, aren't they? No. Aren't they naughty? Surely there's some good zoos. Aquatic zoos? Yeah, but what? Aren't they all bad? I thought zoos were naughty.

No, no, no, no, no, no, zoos No no no no Okay well I've been No no no What was there That was a long time ago I think it was alright It was an alright zoo It's mid alright No polar bears

No polar bears I don't think Polar bears have got No business being in Zoos No Orcas and polar bears We don't do that anymore

Well Honolulu Zoo Penguins and polar bears though Great album From the early 2000s Fantastic Mill and Cole and Novel F. Tony Hawk skateboarder video soundtrack. These are hot references you're making.

Honolulu Zoo will, if you donate $5, $10 or $20, well, if you get it, you just do $5, right? Because then you get the same reward back. Yeah. You can get a love bite for Valentine's Day. Oh, a hickey. What is that coming up? Valentine's Day is coming up, yeah.

That's only two weeks away. Also hickeys. God, it's been years. Good. They'll give you a hickey. No, they're not going to give you a hickey. Well, you said love bite, and that's what love bites are. Hickeys are called love bites.

Hickeys. Oh, I feel like a teenager again. No, the love bite is you can get them to name a bug after an X and then they'll feed it to one of the animals at the zoo. And then your person, like your X, receives a digital love bite, letting them know that they were named after a worm or cricket or a vegetable and was fed to an animal at the zoo. A vegetable.

Yeah. A cabbage was named after you and then fed to a tortoise. Yeah. And then if you pay $100, you can upgrade your donation and then they'll send a personalized video of the animal eating its dinner that's named after your ex. Oh, wow. So your ex will be like, getting a video and be like, what's this? Click it from Honolulu Zoo. And it'll be like, here you go. Here's. Vaugh ex. Oh, wow. So your ex will be like, getting a video, be like, what's this? Click it from Honolulu Zoo.

And it'll be like, here you go. Here's. Vaughn. Vaughn. The cabbage. The cabbage. Vaughn the. Eat it.

Yeah. Vaughn the mealworm. Yeah. And then every day they're going to announce the most popular name given to their bugs. Right. For Valentine's Day on their Instagram. They put a lot of marks. Marks and Matthews.

Jason's. Jason's. Jason's constantly being dumped. Jason's. Yeah. This is quite a fun, it's a fun way to raise money for the zoo. Fun little fundraiser.

Yeah. Is it bullying though? It's a little bit bullying. Is it bullying? I'm just saying. It's a little sad.. I'm just saying. It's a little sad. Like let it go,

you know, like. Yeah. And it's a little bit. Although if they've cheated on you, then maybe this would be a good healing. I'd let it go. Yeah, watching a monkey

eat your ex. Metaphorically. Could be fun. Could be fun. Watch it. I don't even know Who my ex is So can you do this

From anywhere Like could we do this Here in New Zealand Yeah Oh right Just do it online Have you got someone To mind

Well no I'm just thinking The exchange rate's quite It's going to end up Costing you quite a bit more That's expensive Yeah why do I want to give I'd rather give money To the local New Zealand zoos

Yes Yeah Than the Honolulu zoo And I don't have any Hard feelings towards my ex Amicable We're quite good friends Yeah, right, okay

No cheating then? Nah, no cheating Okay Did leave me for a beautiful Italian woman, but Ah, the dream The dream The dream, yeah Yeah

Last time he was in, everybody told him he was wearing his headphones wrong Today he's taken some time No And got them on his head, straight up and down, not forward in sort of a visor fashion. I loved it. We're joined in studio by Brad Olsen, who's had a promotion since we last saw you.

I think so. I think last time I was here, we were talking and couldn't say anything about it. Because it was the next day. Indeed, yes, but now it's happened. So what's your official title now? So up until about mid-February, I think it is. I'm still just Principal Economist,

but after that I've become Chief Executive as well. Thank you, thank you. Now, so initially before this weekend that we've had, we got you in because there was a report last week. An update on inflation? Was it bad news, Brad? I mean, you can take a bit of good, a bit of bad. The only good news in my mind is

that inflation hasn't accelerated further. Inflation was, annual inflation 7.2%, the same as it was back in September. So it hasn't gotten a whole lot worse. To be fair, it hasn't pulled back as much as people probably would have hoped, so it hasn't gotten a lot better yet.

Is that even with you not buying your family any Christmas presents? Yeah, yeah. I mean, look, I tried my darndest to, you know, keep inflation under control. You literally turned down birthday presents. Exactly, exactly. But I think everyone else did, though, because spending in December was down 2.6% from the month before. That's a fairly sizable drop.

And when we look through the inflation numbers, that sort of made sense because toys, games, all that sort of stuff, cost 8.3% more than they did in September. So, man, if you were buying stuff, you were buying the Legos for Christmas and that, you were paying a megabuck for them. Good God. Did you know it takes 1.7 days for a Lego head to pass through your body? If you have a Lego head? Is this from personal experience?

From earlier in the show. Your doctors did an experiment, 1.71 days. Swallowed them and took them out. I mean, if this is a big experiment, though, how many did they do? Is it randomised trials? Six. There were six. Oh, that's too small of a sample.

I feel like, you know. That's all that Lego here. This guy does his data. People love the podcast special that we did with you at the end of last year. We talked about, yeah, curbing your spending and how it's bad for inflation. Your mortgage rates. Yeah. What is the weekend events, what is that going to do to inflation?

Because people are going to need to redo their houses and replace cars and spend a lot of money. Well, and let's be real. I mean, Auckland houses and cars are not normally the cheaper options as well, are they? You know, most of the time this is an area that, generally speaking, has a lot more money going around it than the rest of the country. So my starting estimate, based on what we've seen in other recent floods, is probably $466 million worth of insured damages might need to come through. But realistically, I mean, what it means is that it's still difficult to find a builder, right?

And it's still difficult to find building materials even before this weekend. There's a whole bunch of houses that need carpet ripped out. If there's places that have fallen down cliffs. And some jib. Well, and jib's already going up, I think, in February by 14% already. So, you know, it's challenging. And I think that the big difficulty as well is that as this weather system's continuing

to move through the country, you know, you look down Franklin, Pukakohe sort of area, that's our food growing area. So, you know, if all those guys have been washed out again, how much worse could food inflation get? Oh, God. I saw a TikTok and somebody said they had onions washed up on their front door.

All the onions from the onion fields. I know it's great to have onions. Yeah, but do you want pearly onions? They might be rotty. Don't want pearly onions. Yeah. I nearly told Brad to F off. I felt it forming in my mouth.

That's all right. That's a common one from people. You're the messenger. Yeah, okay, so it's more bad news imminent. So there's insurance claims. It was wild because my whole house was absolutely fine, but my entire wardrobe just destroyed. Oh, my God.

How did it flood down the street? It was, well, yeah, it just like missed everything. It just went into the wardrobe and destroyed all my clothes, jackets, shirts. That you've got receipts for. Of course, for business purposes. Yeah, of course, of course, yeah. All suffering. What were the Christchurch earthquakes? How much did they cost? Oh, billions.

Billions. And I mean, that's because you just sort of lost so much and you had to buy out so many different parts of the city and then bowl them and they haven't been able to be rebuilt on. I think, I mean, here it's difficult right? Even I, you know, looking around at the news coverage over the weekend, no one's got a clear idea yet of how many houses we're talking about.

We know so far, I think rough estimates are about 5,000 claims have been lodged with most of the major insurers. So to give you a bit of an idea, the Nelson-Tasman floods last year, there were about just under 2,000 claims lodged. And that was over the entire event. So the fact that we're sort of only just through the weekend, of course, it's a long weekend. It's a public holiday today means that there's still a lot to be done. Yeah. And a lot of people would know that they'd be inundated. So you just wait and go, wait a week or so and then make your claim. So you said 466.

That's my starting number. So that's insurable. That's people claiming insurance, but then is that taking into account roads? No. Destroyed, like, sewerage systems and stormwater things that have been just blown out? There'll be a lot more. Yeah, exactly. I mean, there's roads that have gone.

I mean, you were talking about the Coromandel Road before. I think there's State Highway 25 that was already wrecked, you know, and the cyclone before. Now it's completely washed out. You've seen those sort of up and down. I mean, gosh, Northland's cut off still, I think. I'm not sure if they've fully reopened State Highway 1 yet. So there's a lot of work still to be done there. And again, it's not like there was a lot of free time for the roading contractors and similar. So I think what you're going to see here is there's going to be a

lot of work that has to be done quite immediately to get all of those critical functions back up and running. That'll cost some money, but it also costs time because it means that something else can't get done, you know. Do you see them shut down city rail links construction for, say, two weeks and redeploy all of those workers? That's the sort of scale of what you might be looking at at the moment. We just need this. I was going to say, I mean, we were going to talk about inflation, which wasn't good to start with,

and I feel like this has just gotten more grim the weekend over. But I like that you've got a reason for your number, because when I was watching the news on the weekend, I was just yelling like, billions, billions! And my wife and I were like gambling on how much it's going to cost to fix. It's just the scale of it and how far across, you know, the upper North Island. And as you say, it's not done yet.

It's moving its way down the country. We were in Waitai yesterday, a state of emergency. And it's January. Yeah. You know, when we get into the proper wet season, if you will. I mean, I have no idea where summer's gone. But I guess the risk is we continue to see this, right? You saw it in Nelson last year.

They got absolutely hammered. You saw this in West Auckland two years back. Absolutely hammered. This is happening more and more, and, man, it's becoming more and more expensive. Why? Why is it? Climate change.

Oh, he doesn't believe in that. I've been saying it and man it's becoming more and more expensive. Why? Why is it? Climate change. Oh he doesn't believe in that. I've been saying it and saying it and it's real. It'll sink in eventually. No it'll sink in or we'll sink. Sarcastically yeah. Someone's sinking. I think we've already sunk. We are. We're soggy. So how much of a delay, because you know like every time

you come in Brad I want to ask like when is this going to be over? When are things going to reset or come down? Cost of living come down, mortgage rates go down. When can we go back to the good old days? Is this going to delay that further? Well, the one about interest rates and when they might come down, that one is interesting. Now, we've been, I remember talking to you guys last time,

we sort of said, look, over the last few months at that point, we've been raising our official cash rate picks just month on month on month. We've sort of stopped doing that. In fact, last week when the inflation data came out, like I said, sort of good, sort of bad. The fact that it didn't go even further up and that some people could read some better things into some of those figures did lead some of the bank economists to revise down their expectation of how much interest rates might have to rise. Now, I'm still thinking they've got to do a bit more, but it now raises, I guess, a bit of an expectation that perhaps in a year and a half's time, the Reserve Bank is able

to cut those interest rates. Maybe, maybe it doesn't have to raise them quite as much. I think it's got to be pretty careful because it needs to get inflation back in the bag. But there's sort of, I don't think it's hope yet, but there's an expectation that maybe things can be a bit more moderate. Now, the risk, of course, is if you say that too loud and you say that to too many people, everyone goes, woohoo, I'll go and spend a little bit more than I thought I would because maybe it won't be as bad, which means that it could well be as bad. So at the moment, we're not there yet. Look, I think it's important to note that Australia's inflation got worse. Ours sort of stayed in line. So we're doing better than the Aussies. But in the the US their inflation is starting to pull back.

It's starting to slow back to I think 6.5% or so. So they're doing better than us. We've got a little bit more water quite literally to go under the bridge. Great years, Brad. When you get into a Uber or a Ola or a... Zoomy. Taxi. Or a Zoomy.

Or a Tuk Tuk. Or a Tuk Tuk. Or that weird bike where that guy pedals and sometimes you're like... And he's like... Oh my God, and you're like, I'm so sorry. Some guy was doing that before Elton John on Friday and he said to a couple of boomers, 20 bucks. And they took the last like

Penrose train station to the concert. Jeepers. On the bike. Oh my God, he must have quads of steel. Do you know, I only just saw this on the weekend.

There was a tuk-tuk for sale in Hawke's Bay. And a friend of our friend bought it. And Aaron was so upset. He said he looked at it and was like, you know,

we're renovating probably not the time to spend money on a tuk-tuk. But we've always wanted one because we love a tuk-tuk. We missed out and our friend's friend bought it.

So you'd go to the pub on the tuk-tuk? We could tuk-tuk to the pub. What form of tuk-tuk? So like a Thai one, like a scooter with a full trailer with the roof on it.

They're pretty cool. Yeah. Oh my God, I want one so bad. But every Southeast Asian country has a slightly different with the roof on it. They're pretty cool. Yeah. Oh, my God, I want one so bad. But every Southeast Asian country has a slightly different tuk-tuk. Yes, they do. Thailand's the best. Cambodia's tuk-tuks. Oh, yeah, Cambodia tuk-tuks.

They've got goodies, do they? They're like little mini trucks. Yeah, they're great. Oh, yeah, Bali's got little mini trucks. Yeah, Bali's got them, again, a little bit different. Yeah. Yeah, I feel a bit more protection when they, you know, side-swipe a truck. Yeah, yeahley's got them, again, a little bit different. Yeah. Yeah, I feel a bit more protection when they, you know, side swipe a truck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you bounce off the kerb. Yeah. Because they've gone around someone. Me, me, me, me, me, me. You're up on the kerb. Bouncing off it. Oh, yeah, good fun, good times.

Good fun. Well, if anyone hears of a Tuk Tuk, please let me know because I do want to purchase one. Anyway, bad news, Brad just left saying, like, kerb you're spending, I want a Tuk Tuk. Is that a Frank R Kirby's spending a month. I want a TikTok. He's like, is that a Frank Green drink bottle? Yeah. He told you off.

It was gifted. It was gifted. He told you off for having a Frank Green drink bottle. It was gifted. Anyway, so a Reddit thread asked Uber drivers whether or not they actually like having a conversation with you. Because when you get in, do you want to chat? If they ask me how it is, I'm like, yep, good thanks. And I kind of get on my phone to signal

I'm a quiet. I'm not a chatty person. Yeah, Vaughn, I can't imagine you going deep into Convo. Nah. And I do remember ages ago, I think we talked about, they're encouraged to speak to you because they want the stars, right? They want a good rating. Yeah.

But the thing is, so they are by Uber mostly. They were said Uber drivers. I'm sure it's other things as well. They are encouraged to make conversation to enforce their pleasantness or their likeability and all that

in hopes for a higher rating. However, most passengers don't want that. As you say, you just want to get to where you're going. I think you can request it as well. Now you can request it. Well, they ask Uber drivers if they actually enjoy talking to you and the majority don't.

No. The majority say like the best passengers are the ones that quietly sit in the back. Yeah. Another person agreed. Their dream passenger is one who tells them to turn up the music and then just sits quietly. How about the stones on someone if they go by themselves

and they jump in the front seat? By yourselves in the front? It's a bit of a thing in South and Central America to sit in the front of an Uber. Why? They don't like you sitting in the back. Because they can't see you? Because it might be a safety thing.

Yeah, because I remember just travelling recently, they're like, no, no, no, front. Like one of us had to always be in the front. Oh. Even if there were two of you. Yeah, even when there was two. And if I went single, you just get in the front. Maybe they get runners, you know,

and so if you were sitting in the front, that'd be better to, oh yeah, you always run. Must be a safety thing. Yeah, must be. But a lot of people, they just see that any of the conversations they have, they most of the time lack any kind of substance and are mundane and boring and you can tell that no one wants to do it. Like busy night?

Yeah. Busy night. Sometimes you get an old mate who's an Uber driver, he's just doing it in retirement because his wife probably wants him out of the house. They love a chat. They love a chat. They love a chat. They love a chat. Yeah.

Oh, is that your house, is it? Oh, yeah. Well, oh, yeah. We used to own a house similar to... What are you... I just want to be silent. It's like one of the only times in the day you can just have strict phone time. You know what they've been talking about?

You can't ride an elephant anymore. That's PC madness. Absolutely. Oh, my elephants love to ride. Now, I don't have anything against Maori, so I'm going to go, whoop. Now, watch yourself there, mate. Play.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Tonight. Tonight is the night That Celebrity Treasure Island returns This season Slightly different Yes Faves

Versus the fans And one of our faves Is in studio Stop it Maddie But also keep going My favourite He's hot

Tell me what you love about me He's intelligent Each of you Go around the room right now Okay Always got a sunny disposition. Yes. But that might be me that brings that out in you.

It is true. In this trailer for this TV show. How did you flip that about yourself? It's my gift. In this TV show, it does not look like you've got a sunny disposition. No. No. Do you know what the funniest thing is?

I swore to myself, I sat down and I gave myself a little pep talk, looked at myself in the mirror the day before we left, and I said, be chill. Have fun. Is it because we got horrifically drunk the night before you flew out? Yes. And you were probably, like, a little more emotional? Yeah, I had the gin come down.

Oh, no. That was a big night. It was huge. We were meant to catch up, but just a drink, just a little one. And we left there at 8 o'clock big night. It was huge. We were meant to catch up for just a drink, just a little one. And we left there at eight o'clock at night. The first time you went on it, there's the clip

made famous now of you having a cry. And I know that you were hoping maybe to be a bit more chill. And now that we've had a teaser of what tonight holds and you are featuring it heavily. Crying again.

Both crying and this time potentially fainting. Collapsing. And he's pissed because he had to get back on the gins. To kill that down bar. Exactly. And then an upper. Why did you go back for more?

I don't know. Not that I want to compare Treasure Island to childbirth. But you know when women say, I forgot about the trauma of it. Yeah, well, that's a chemical release in the brain that does that, right? That's why you can have more. They don't remember the pain of the moment.

Yeah. So I forgot. I forgot about the crying. I forgot about the tears, the exhaustion, the hunger, and I thought, I need to have another go. This has been a dream of mine, you know, for a very long time. I got to live it out once, and so to get the need to have another go. This has been a dream of mine, you know, for a very long time. I got to live it out once.

And so to get the opportunity to have your dream lived out twice was just a no-brainer. But you're too competitive. You're too competitive. I know. Like, I know you were competitive, but then recently at your wedding, all the wedding speeches that talked about you talk about this dark, dark competitive streak.

It runs down the middle of this beautiful man. bitches that talked about you talk about this dark, dark competitive streak. Runs down the middle of this beautiful man. I once, Ryan, my partner, husband, family came round, one of his cousins came round and we played Monopoly Deal. Why would you do that? And I cried. Yeah, yeah. I'm the same, Matty.

This is why I would never even entertain the idea of doing it once or twice. Because I feel that side of me would come out and I wouldn't be able. You can't once the genie's out of the land. You can't get it back in. There's no getting it back in there. But it's no secret. If anyone watched last season, if anyone knows me in my real life,

they know how competitive I am. So there's no point in hiding it. I'm going to take my view and think chill. Oh my gosh. What can you tell us? I know you can't tell us too much, but in the trailer, you are fainting or collapsing or you look terrible and Brie holds you and she's going, I need help. And then it's all cameras down and medical emergencies.

In all honesty, I don't really remember any of it. I remember maybe the few minutes in the lead up to it and I remember turning to one of the people that's on my team and I remember saying, something's not right. Like I don't feel right. And then that's pretty much the last of what I remember. So watching it in the Super Tees was the first time I'd kind of seen it all play out.

Oh my God. It's very dramatic. Dramatic. Unlike you. The producers would have been sitting there. So unlike me. So unlike you. The producers would have been sitting there

watching you faint on a beach just being like, yes, yes, yes. Teaser trailer. Now I'm going to take your shirt off. Yes. We've got everything we need. Was that hard working with a shirtless Aunt Green? I mean, easy but hard.

Yeah. So to speak. So to speak. Is it different this time around playing against normies? Yeah. And do you know what it does? So it does a few things. One, you bring back eight players who,

they're not coming back because they were the fence sitters of their season. These are people like Lance Savali and Susan Devoy and Josh Kronfeld who won twice back in the mid 2000s. So these are people who play the game and play the game hard. So from day one, you've got one team playing really hard and then you've got another team of eight people who've watched this show religiously for 20 odd years, have dreamt of being on it, have always sat on the couch and gone, I could do that better or I would have done this differently.

And so they're ready to play hard and so it's just these two teams going so intensely from day one. I like these shows that makes me feel so normal, you know. Like I have my moments of rage but then I watch this and I'm like, you know what, I'm on Smith. We all do. You know what, I'm on Smith. You're okay. Have another drink. Do the normies play, because you know

you guys are playing for charity. What charity are you fighting for? I'm fighting for Zeal Education Trust, who do amazing work. God, I feel like I'm on Treasure Island doing my little spiel. They do amazing work with kids in the community and really help them to thrive. I used to go to Zeal and I used to hook up with my boyfriend there.

So I'm trying to raise money for some horned up teens. Oh, I'm just going to a gig at Zeal. Not. Do the normies also play for a charity? Yeah, they do, which is really cool. And honestly, it was beautiful hearing how passionate they were

about their charities as well. So it is intense from the get-go. And you've got people that just really want to play the game hard. Well, you can catch it tonight, 7.30 on TVNZ2 and on TVNZ Plus as well. Best of luck, Matty. Oh, thank you. I need it. You also need to pick up your wine from Vaughan's garage.

How much of it is left? I've got to build. Look, there's a dent. So these are boxes of wine left over from your wedding. We had so... No one drunk the still wine. Yeah, it was bubbles and cocktails. So we put it in the Land Rover

and we delivered it to Vaughan's shed and it's been sitting there for a couple of weeks. Well, then I wanted to use the Land Rover so I had to take it out. I burnt a lot of calories moving this amount of wine out. There's a lot of wine there. I might actually have a garage sale. He keeps drinking it. How much has gone?

Who's to say? Who's to say? Do you remember how much he dropped off? No, I don't think we did. All of it's still there, then. That's wrong. All of it's still there. That's wrong. All of it's still there. Maddie, thank you so much.

Jason Marmore is in town. Filming or production, pre-production? What do you call it? What's the official movie term? I don't know. Can't think about it. Thank you for the actress in the room to come to my aid there. Pre-production.

Pre-production Pre-production Yeah So the Jason Momoa spottings are Flickin' fast Yeah And for those that don't know Hayley this is your Number one celebrity crush If you don't know it

Welcome to the show Yeah This is one of the three things I talk about Barley Barley Jason Momoa And my cat

Yep Yeah he is I just think It's not all about his looks Barley. Barley. Jason Momoa. And my cat. Yep. Yeah, he is. I just think it's not all about his looks. Okay. My desktop background is Jason Momoa eating a carrot and looking at me. And I like it. That's a great photo, isn't it? It's a little carrot.

And you've had the pass card from the fiance. Like, not even joking. That if Jason Momoa wanted to sleep with me, that I would be allowed to sleep with him. Well, the latest sighting over the weekend, literally, like, would you say, four, five hundred metres from our studio right here? Yes, correct.

He must be staying around here, by the way. I know, I know. He's definitely staying around. Where would it be, though? The Cordis or the... I reckon he's here long enough. I reckon he's here long enough to have a house. You know, like a nice Herne Bay, a Ponsonby little house.

Yeah. So he went to the Cav, the Cav Tav, and was turned away because there was a wedding, a private function. This is the wedding of the Woman's Day editor, who earlier invited Alton John to the wedding, given that Alton wouldn't be performing on Saturday Night Live. No, Alton was straight on a jet. Yeah.

So went to go in, sorry private function, sweet as left, could have had Mamora. Wouldn't you just have invited him in? I would be so mad. I really hope that when I get married, Jason Mamora crashes it. Yeah. And then he's like, I object. And I'm like,

oh my God, Jason Momoa, what are you doing here? I've heard how much you love me. And I love you so much. Why does he speak like Sam Elliott?

That's how he talks. I heard that a lady I like to put on my whole arms get married to another man. You crash my wedding and make it our wedding.

And for some reason talk like a really disgruntled man in black from a Western movie. Yeah. wedding and make it our wedding for some reason talk like a really disgruntled i want to marry you man and black from uh from a western movie yeah i've got my six short i'm always outside let's make him scream i want to see him do it i want to hear him do it i want to hear him do a southern accent you just want to hear him do anything i just want to hear him say my name right okay you're getting a little bit creepy.

I don't mean to be, and this is the thing, like it's more than ever. Remember I said to you guys, if you're going to do some stupid radio prank where, oh my God, we've got a special interview, don't. Like, let me be hot. Let me.

I'm going to send you a single W as a text message, as a hint. Why a W? It was just a random thing that popped into my head. It would be so embarrassing, though, if you do that and he's not here and I am gussied. I had so many people message me over the weekend being like, send her the W tonight. No. I'm like, you monsters.

I don't want to waste my foundation. Monsters. No. I just want to look cute. Yeah. Up, tight. Yeah. Lash. Yeah. Looking hot want to look cute, uptight, lash, looking hot. Keep those reports coming in. Yes, please.

Just send them directly to me. Let us know while he's here in New Zealand. Next, we'll update you with the latest news, road closures, and happening. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Wow, blow me down. Well, actually, the wind wasn't too bad. It was the rain. Truly.

Soak it up. I don't know, man. It was a horrible weekend for a lot of the people on the upper North Island. It's moving its way down the country, so those smug a-holes in Christchurch can not go on about how, oh, my God, you'd never guess what was happening up there. I was an a-hole in Christchurch. Yeah, I was a smug a-hole. I was a smug when I couldn't get high.

What was it like watching it just being like, oh, my God? Well, it was a wedding, so I was rather smug a-hole. Were you? I was a smug when I couldn't get high. What was it like watching it just being like, oh my God. Well, it was a wedding, so I was rather intoxicated. Right. And at first I told Aaron to leave me alone because he was telling me about the alarm going off. And I was like, I'm at a wedding, dude. Yeah. And then I realised how bad it was.

Right. Joining us to answer the age old question of when will the summer start and this effing rain end are the head forecaster from weatherwatch.co.nz, Philip Duncan, good morning to you, sir. Good morning. Good morning to all of you. Good morning. Now, this was the wettest day on record in Auckland.

Is that correct? Yes, it was. It was an unprecedented rain event. You know, it didn't just break the record. It absolutely smashed the previous record away. So it was, yeah, quite a bizarre rain event i saw a tweet that was saying when will we return to precedented times everything is unprecedented in the last three years how much how much can you hit us with some stats yeah well i mean what we just came through was five years of a rainfall deficit

so most of the North Island for the last five years in a row, not just summer, but all of the months, most of the months have been below normal with rainfall. So not only did we sort of return back to normal in the last 12 months, but this year we've gone way beyond normal. So we're seeing rainfall totals in Auckland of about 370 millimetres in some areas. That is, in January, you'd normally get 70 millimetres on a normal month. And these places got 370 in like a day or so. So, I mean, that is, you know, there are very few parts of the country that get rain like that. Even the west coast of South Island, if they had that amount of rain at that amount of time,

it would probably cause a civil defence emergency, even on the west coast, where they're equipped to they had that amount of rain at that amount of time, it would probably cause a civil defence emergency even on the west coast where they're equipped to deal with that kind of rain. So it was just really out of the ordinary and it was made worse by a really powerful area of high pressure, which we usually think of as being the good weather guys, you know, the friendly summer

weather, but the high is the reason that the rain stopped moving. It was like a truck that broke down and the rain just got stuck behind it and couldn't move. Wow. Because I live out west and it had asked the real heavy rain. I think we got 80 mils of rain between like 3.30 and 5.30. And then I was like, wow.

And everybody else was like, okay, a little bit of rain, but nothing too bad. I was like, well, you know, we've been hit bad, but thank goodness it's missed everybody else. And then all of a sudden, Central Auckland's like, we're in big trouble. And so is that literally how slow it moved? It took an hour, hours to get across town. Yeah. And it was, and see, here's the thing, you know, being a few people sort of grumpy that, you know, we didn't forecast, where were the warnings? It's like, well, there were warnings. All the areas that were flooded had a rain warning for them. So it was not like people weren't expecting it,

but we weren't expecting it to stall like that and be so intense for that time. And you're right, like, you know, I live in West Auckland. I live in Te Aratu where it's 20-something metres above sea level, surrounded by the sea, it drains away. You wouldn't think that a place like that would flood, and yet there were cars with water up to the halfway mark. And so when you get into the other parts of the city

where you've got actual valleys and places like Glenfield over on the North Shore, those areas, you're seeing cars not only sort of slightly inundated but floating away. And so it's very, very unusual for Auckland to get that amount of rain. And we don't have a lot of rivers and streams. So most of this flooding occurred, you know, in areas without a stream or a river. So what about the next few days and the week ahead? Well, what can we expect around the country? When can we go to the beach, Philip? Yes, well, we've got some good news coming

up, but there's some bad news first. Let me get the bad stuff done. The rain that came down on Friday moved down to sort of Bay of Plenty, Coromandel over Saturday and Sunday. And then yesterday, last night, this morning, it reversed and went back up to Auckland. What is reversing? Don't reverse. We don't want it.

I thought I heard beepers. So it's already done that. We've already had that. That's happened. Okay. But here's the downside. Again, tomorrow, it all comes back down to the south again. It moves back.

Going forward? It doesn't know what it's doing. And it's all due to that big high out to the east, which is sort of like a lung. It's sort of breathing in and out. And every time it moves out, it pushes the rain backward. And when it breathes back in, that rain starts to slide south again. And that's going to happen tomorrow.

But here is the good news. The high is moving away, finally. So this week-long event that started at the end of last week will finish on Thursday this week and be gone by Friday. And for the long weekend, for Waitangi weekend, we might have a bit of the old switcheroo where the North Island has the better weather and the South Island is the place with more of the wind and rain.

Ha, I can hear our South Island listeners. They drained the life out of them then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, better stop laughing at Auckland. But they can do with a bit of rain down there. Yeah, they need the rain. Yeah, they're having an amazing summer in the South Island. You know, places like Hokitika and Greymouth,

who, you know, Greymouth gets teased every now and then for where they are in the country, but they're beginning 30-something degree days in sunshine. They are the place to be at the moment. They have a big smile on their face. You see all their missing teeth? It'll be like... We do broadcast there now. We've been there a few years now.

We should get some dentist ads on there. Okay. So those smug a-holes are about to have their summer ruined. What about, you know, obviously a lot of disappointed people after the Elton John double cancellation. What about Ed Sheeran this Thursday, Wellington? Yeah, this Thursday in Wellington, the system that's coming through from the north

is going to be moving through the Wellington area. So there might be a little bit of unsettled weather, but we're hoping that it won't be too bad. But certainly Wednesday, there's a little bit of wet weather, and Thursday a few showers. It's looking pretty good compared to what Auckland just had. Philip, what if you're in a corporate box? Will that impact those in a corporate box?

You know, the corporate box is the best place to be. If you're in there, you're probably not watching what's going on. Yeah, exactly. So you won't care. It'll be fine. 100% chance of good weather in the corporate box. Oh, fantastic news. Good to know.

Good to know for those people in the corporate boxes that you're sharing on Thursday. Yeah, yeah, fantastic. Philip Duncan, thank you so much for your insights. Weatherwatch.co.nz for more info. Really appreciate you taking the time this morning. Cheers, guys. Thanks very much.

Stay safe. Look forward to the weekend. Oh, yeah, very much so. Next on the show. It's only Monday. I know. What's he saying that for? Because we need the good weather to look forward to.

He's going to put heads down and just get through it. Good news about Waitangi weekend. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Probably should mention Vaughan's left booking accommodation for a stag do this weekend today. For a stag do is going to be

I might not come back alive. It is. You are just I got Oh, what did I have to do with that rental car? Oh my God. Because that's

that's going to need to be changed because I was supposed to pick that up on Friday but we're going down a day earlier now. This is the problem when Vaughan is left in charge. His wife's not going. I'm not going.

Why are you getting a rental car? Because we've got to drive to the Stag Do locations. Where is it? Up. Up. Across. Right. Right, okay. I think I've been there. It's ages away. I'll help you soon. Just don't do anything yourself. Thank you, Daddy. Don't call me Daddy.

Thank you, Daddy. He just 100% weaponised his incompetence. No, 100% looked up a hostel. It wasn't a hostel. It was a hotel. Four men in their 40s. It was a hotel. No, 30s.

Three men in their 40s and one in his 20s. We're taking our little... I mean, Jared, producer Jared wouldn't look out a place at a hostel. It wasn't a hostel. It was a hotel.

You three grizzly 40 men are going to try to sleep in the same bed as this 20-year-old boy. It's not on. On the booking notes, because there are any additional notes,

I'm going to write, we aren't having an orgy, I promise. Because they'll charge us extra for orgies. You'd know. Do you get charged extra for orgies?

No. Your honour, objection. Anyway, that's not what we're talking about. I. Your honour, objection. Anyway, that's not what we're talking about. I will sort out your accommodate. I will sort it out for you soon. Thank you.

Christ, you give me anxiety. That's all I wanted. Jesus. Talk to Sade as well. I think my passport needs a... Oh my God. You are going to need to do that soon. Oh my God,

you need to do that this week. I'm good. No, no, I'm good. I, no, I've got a new one. Just pray the pandemic. Okay. I feel the stress. Anyway. There is a reason that your fiance didn't go to the wedding with you at the weekend.

I went to a lovely wedding in Christchurch in Lyttelton when all of this was happening up in Auckland. I was enjoying 29 degrees sunny day in Christchurch. Christchurch, how lucky you are. I went to a wedding and yes, Aaron said last minute, look, I'm not going to go. When did he cancel for the wedding? Which was on Friday? Tuesday.

But it was a casual wedding in that there weren't placed seats or anything. He wasn't missed. Right. I was going to say because if he'd said yes and they'd placed them and made him a little favour with his name't missed. Right. Oh, I was going to say, because if he'd said yes and they'd placed them and made him a little favour with his name on it. Yeah.

And then, you know, his catering had been paid for. Still, you're paying for catering, right? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. But they did like bulk catering, you know, like trays. It was so good. It was so good. Anyway, but yeah, Aaron didn't come.

And then when he told me the reason why, was like, oh yeah, yeah, well I'm sort of on board with that. And then I told the bride and groom, hey, Aaron's not coming and I thought about lying because the reason that Aaron said he didn't want to come is because our cat Rolly has been quite anxious and so we didn't feel good about

putting him in a cattery or leaving him at home alone for the night. Which by the way... Ring, ring, ring. Let's just go through this call. The groomer, the bride answers? No, I emailed them. Oh, okay. Coward's way.

The coward's way. How did the email go? Do you have the email there? Hang on. Go into your sent items. Hang on. Sent. Or was it a Facebook message?

No, no. It was email. Where is it? God, no. It was email. Where is that? God, I'm a woman in want. While she's looking, can I just take a chance to plug? If you do run an accommodation in central Wellington and you've got a room spare on Friday, four dudes, three in their 40s,

all married with children, very responsible. We're taking a young lad with us. Producer Jared. Promise there won't be an orgy. Right. Hit me up. You found it yet? Because I'll keep going with more of what I'm after.

We want to be close to that Argentinian restaurant that does all the steak. Yeah, I know. Because we want to go out for a lovely steak meal and a couple of cocktails. Again, I will reiterate, after meat and whiskey, no orgy. Promise. Okay, yeah, good. Good to know. We've been friends for a long time.

If we were going to hook up, we would have hooked up by now. Anyway, what I said was... You're making it look like you're really going overboard. It is. You think I've gone too far and it makes it sound like it is going to be an orgy. Yeah, it really does. I feel like it is going to be an orgy now because you've made it such a thing. It would be a shame not to.

Give it a go. Anyway, so I just said like, hey, guys, so excited for the weekend. Can't wait to be there. Sending apologies on behalf of Aaron. He's no longer able to make it. And then I said, look, I thought about lying and coming up with a better excuse and maybe saying that a family member had fallen ill.

Yeah. People don't like doing that because they think then they will curse them. They'll curse. Curses don't exist. So you can just absolutely trot out your nana for anything. That's why you've got to use a dead gran or a dead grad parent.

Yeah, but both of us are already gone. Yeah, but does she know that? Do they know that? I don't know. But you don't want to get caught. You could run a check, couldn't you? With a surprise third grandma. Yeah.

You know? Anyway, and they might send flowers. It would just be a disaster. Yeah. And I said, well, yeah, the truth is that our cat's anxious and has been for the last couple of weeks and we don't feel comfortable leaving Raleigh at home. What did they say when you said that?

They were like, yeah, that's fine. And then when I got to the wedding and I managed to get some time alone with the groom, he said, how's the cat? I'm like, don't you worry yourself with my anxious cat on your wedding day. That's the sign of a good person, though. Why is it anxious, though? Yeah, what are the signs of cat anxiety?

Is it because of climate change? No, it's because inflation. Is it worried about inflation? Yeah, probably. I think it's worried about the size of our mortgage because of the renovation. Well, you're putting your anxieties onto the cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's been anxious because we're ripping up the house. Right. And so every time, we've got no furniture

in the house, so he's like, where's my chair? Where's my stuff stuff where's my rug that I claw and then the other day we ripped off our whole room out the back and he's like

where did that go yeah so he's just been anxious and it worried us to leave him so anxious we thought he'd come in and be like

meow but no that's what cats do though cats meow I don't let my cat meow that's not a sign of anxiety. It is a sign of anxiety. And then aren't we glad?

Because if we had have left him there because he hates the cat or if we had have left him there and just got a friend to feed him, he would have drowned. He could have washed away. He could have washed away. Yeah, that's true.

So it was well worth missing the wedding so that Aaron could have been home to not only keep the cat not anxious but, you know, stop the poo-poos from flooding into my house. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

I do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Did a bit out of breath, did you? Yeah. You ran out there. It's actually long COVID still, is it? You puffed out. He's puffed. Today's fact of the day is according to research from Fender,

the guitar manufacturer, 90% of people abandon playing the guitar within the first year of purchasing their guitar. And 45% of their guitars sold were sold to, every year were sold to people, new guitar players.

Really? So those are just unplayed fenders now. Yeah, there's all these tons of unplayed fenders out there. That's like a top tier brand. Isn't that like, that's top tier brand, right?

I really, really want to learn guitar. But it's hard. Yeah. It's so hard. But you've got the fingers for it. Yeah, I do. Because you play piano. They're not helpful to each other.

You've got dexterous fingers. Thank you. I always struggled with guitar when I played from about nine to 13. Couldn't tell you a single thing. Those chubby little fingers going. Short little chumpsters. Chubby little sausages. Could even get it around the fretboard.

You'd be like. Oh, imagine Prince Charles trying to play that. Maybe you need a little mandolin. A small one, a petite one. A little uke. A little ukey. A little skinny little uke neck. Yes, that would be you, the ukulele.

To get it around there. So that's a little bit depressing. A little yukey. A little skinny little yuke neck. Yes, that would be you, the ukulele. To get it around there. So that's a little bit depressing. Yeah, isn't it? What happens to them? I guess, like most hobbies you take up and then never do, you just put them in the garage. Well, you put them in the corner of the lounge. So when people come over, they're like, do you play?

You're like, yeah. Yeah, do I dabble in a bit of the strings? Yeah, did. They also did some research into, like, if people are thinking of taking up an instrument, guitars on top. Is it? Guitars on top.

Because I guess it looks so cool. Yeah, and it's easier. It's easier than what? Well, I mean, it's just easier to buy a guitar than it is like... Like, where do you put a piano? Yeah, you need the room for that. Yeah. Yeah, and pianos are expensive.

Expensive and big and heavy. Big. Yeah, they're a piece of furniture. Yeah, and the monkeys move them down the stairs anymore. No, no. Yeah. It's a retro callback, but yeah, sure. He's had some pretty retro moments today.

Do you remember that? Yes, I remember that ad. Do you know what's on my foot? Is that what he said? Yeah. It's on my foot. The monkeys were moving a piano. What was that an ad for?

PG Tips? I can't remember. But you're not allowed to use monkeys in ads anymore. You're not allowed to use monkeys haphazardly anymore. No. You've got to computer generate your monkeys. You can't just have them moving pianos downstairs. Do you know what's on my foot?

Rappond PG Tips. Yeah. Do you know what's on my foot? And he's like, not really, but I think I can give it a go. Because he thought it was a song. But it was on his actual foot. Yeah. Do you know what's on my foot? And he's like, not really, but I think I can give it a go. Because he thought it was a song. But it was on his actual foot. Yeah, classic stuff. So today's fact of the day is that 90% of people who take up guitar quit within the first year.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. So, this is a story almost hard to believe. Shakita. Well, it's hard to believe that anyone would cheat on Shakita. She's keeping it tight. Yep. Look at that. Do not lie. Do not lie.

Do not lie. Waka waka, yeah. Although she may have been like a little... Naughty. No, I'm just saying that she's had the whole tax thing. So she may have been preoccupied. Maybe. Yeah.

So she was with a soccer boyfriend, Gerard Piquet, I believe is his name. Right. And they were together and then over the summer it came out that he had cheated on her and they had split and she was releasing music about you know, him and doodly-doo. Now it's

come out how she discovered that he was cheating. And the word on the street is that she came home from being away and noticed that some jam that she had made, some jam that she had made that was in the fridge was nearly empty. Right.

And she went, but hang on. Hello. On the toast is where I put the jam and there's not enough left. What happened to my jam? And she. Am I in trouble? She was like, but like Gerard and the kids don't like jam. They don't eat the jam. They don't eat the jam either. They don't eat the jam.

This she knows. She must say to them every now and then, oh, do you like some toast? And they say, yes, please. And she'd be like, no, I'm about to make jam. No, thank you, mother. And then they'd say, no, we don't like jam. We don't like jam. And then she's like,, we don't like jam. We don't like jam.

And then she's like, who's been in the jam? He must be another woman. Look at the jam, it's small and humble. I can see if someone's been eating it. I don't mean to laugh at another woman's woes. I mean, it's terrible. It must be horrible. But apparently it's the jam was the giveaway.

And so she, what, confronted him and said, who's been using my jam? Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar, essentially. And he said, not me, this woman that I've been sleeping with. Do you think it was that easy? I think it was. Or do you think there were other clues as well? Yeah, probably.

Yeah. So it's all about the jam. Amazing. I know. So I thought that. It'd be hard to argue with her, too, if, you know, he's like, wait, I can explain. She's like, whatever. Yeah. So it's all about the jam. Amazing. I know. So I thought that. It'd be hard to argue with her if you, you know, he's like, wait, I can explain. She's like, whatever. Whatever. You two are meant to be together.

My hips don't lie, but I know that you are. Anyway, we thought that we could take some calls in the, about the strange ways that maybe you've caught someone cheating. Because it is those little things that give people away. Like they have these, you're with someone so long, you know their habits. Exactly. And then all of a sudden they're on their phone and hiding it.

Yeah, I didn't know he wore lacy thongs. Seems a little off. Yeah, you're doing the washing and all of a sudden there are lacy thongs in there. And he says, that's what I'm into now, baby. Yeah. It's hard to believe. But not your classic, you know, I saw him, I saw him. It's me, baby. And he says, that's what I'm into now, baby. Yeah. It's hard to believe. But not your classic,

you know, I saw him, I saw him, it's me, baby. It's awesome, baby. What do you want to know? I've gotten a bit mad. The show's gone very fast.

And I feel like, oh, you just woke up. But not just your usual, like you see a text on the phone or you read an email. Like what is a strange way that you've discovered that someone's been cheating on you?

The little giveaways. The little giveaways. The little giveaways. Was it the jam? Was it the jam? Oh no, oh no, oh no. Maybe it was the jam like Shakira. Or maybe it was something else. We haven't referenced the best Shakira song there ever was.

She-Wolf. Well, how will you work that in? I don't know. But She-Wolf was just like, it's a banger. It's absolute. Absolute banger. There's a She-Wolf was just like... It's a banger. It's absolute. Absolute banger. There's a She-Wolf in your closet. Open up a ladder.

Oh! Perfect. Absolutely perfect. All right, well, how have you busted someone cheating? Maybe those little strange towels or little giveaways, like the Shakira Jam situation. All 800 dials it in. Shakira Jam situation. 0800 DALS at M. Shakira jam situation.

That's a sentence I wasn't expecting. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We want to know the weird ways, the little tales that gave away somebody cheating on you. Yeah, Shakira found a half-eaten jar of jam in the fridge and she was like, my husband or my boyfriend and my kids don't like jam. Who's been eating the jam?

Who's been eating the jam? It was the girlfriend. It was the girlfriend. La-da-de-da-de-da. Keep your spoon out of my jam. Danny, good morning. I didn't know what flavour jam Shakira, like, slash makes as well.

I had somewhat of a jam, strawberry, raspberry. I should make her some Feijoa jam. She'd love my Feijoa jam. It'd be wild if it was apricot. Sorry, Danny. Sorry, Danny. Do you have a thought on what jam it would be in Shakira's fridge?

Plum. Oh! Danny! I like this. I like this, Danny. This red plum jam. Rich red plum jam. What the hell is that?

Yeah, Danny's onto it. Red plum jam. Who's rocking a plum? And by the way, you poo-pooed apricot jam before. I shan't have it. the hell is that? Yeah, Danny's onto it. Red Plum Jam. And by the way, you poo-pooed Apricot Jam before. I shan't have it. No, no, Apricot Jam's my favourite. Oh, okay, good, good. No, no, no, no.

Apricot Jam is my number one. Are we rated jams? Oh, we haven't done jams for Friday rankings. Jams. One of the stories about this says that it's strawberry. Wow.

Okay, well that's pretty predictable. How did you bust somebody? Too many seeds in the tea. Yeah,, that's pretty predictable. How did you bust the seeds in the tea? Yeah, too many seeds. Dani, how did you bust someone cheating? So I was on a girls' weekend with my best friends

and I was scrolling through TikTok on the For You page and a video of my boyfriend with another girl popped up and they were like making out at the Mardi Gras Okune party.

Wow. I've got to say, how good is the TikTok algorithm, eh? It knows. It found you. It said, for you. It was for me. I had no idea. Oh, my God.

TikTok was like, hey, babe, we're just going to send this your way. And then you're crying, you're freaking out, so you swipe to the next video, and it's someone making plum jam. How does it know? Oh, my God, how does it know? How does it know? So what did you, did you send it on to him? What happened?

I actually messaged her and was like, hey, I don't know what's going on. I think that's my boyfriend. And she was like, no, that's my boyfriend. We've been together for three months. How long had you two been together? Two years. Oh, babe, I'm so sorry. Oh, no.

Oh, what a dirtbag. And so what? You obviously dumped him. Did she dump him? No, she wanted to keep being with him. So she was actually at his place at that time. So he was like, oh, I can't talk to you at the moment. I'm a bit busy.

And then she was like, yeah, no, I'm here. Oh, my God. He's trash. And I'm glad you got rid of him. Yeah, they're not together anymore. Yeah, good, I'm here. Oh, my God. He's trash, and I'm glad you got rid of him. Yeah, they're not together anymore. Yeah, good. Where was he last seen? I mean, don't give us any...

Yeah, okay. Unhappy? Is he unhappy? Like... Hopefully he's got... Danny, Danny, hopefully he's got wet carpet. Yeah. I think he's got a mullet.

He's got a mullet and wet carpet. And wet carpet. He's going to struggle. What a combo. Danny, thank you for your call. Play ZM's Fletch Vodanale. Play ZM. Goodness gracious.

Shakira was cheated on and she found out because the jam in the fridge had been eaten. But her boyfriend don't like jam. And the kids. The kids and the boyfriend don't like jam. They don't touch it. So she knew who's been eating the jam. Absolute giveaway. So we want to know from you, what was the giveaway?

How did you find somebody cheating? Little telltale signs. Those little signs. Yeah. Anonymous joins us. Good morning, Anonymous. Hey, how's it going? Good.

How did you find out somebody was cheating? Well, I'd been going out of this shack for a couple of years and then, yeah, went around to her parents' house. And I was normally around there every week. And, yeah, there's a photo of her and another guy on the fridge. What? I went at mum and dad's. Yeah.

What did mum and dad make of you? I don't know. They seemed to like me. They're sort of endorsing the cheating. Wait, who was on the fridge? Her and another dude. An old photo or a new photo?

Um, well, it was never there. It was up there one day. I don't get... Who was he then? Why did mum and dad... At this stage, anonymous, I'm on their side. Why are you on their side? We can't get a straight answer out of this joker, this character, this scumbag who wants to date my daughter

and he won't even look me in the eye and shake my hand. That's proper mad. So did you get to the bottom of this? Yeah, well, she... She would go away for, like well, she would go away for like, her work would go at her fit out, like around New Zealand. She'd always go up north and

get the guy she worked with and yeah, I guess it's been happening for a while. Wait, so it was just a guy? My parents don't have a picture of me, Fletch and Vaughn on the fridge. These are the guys that I work with. So they knew that she was dating him. I mean, they should. Patsy should have a picture of me, Fletch and Vaughn on the fridge. These are the guys that I work with. So they knew that she was dating him. Patsy should have a photo of us.

Yeah, I mean, that's why it's been going on for a while. Right, and they seem to be on board with it. Well, I guess so. Well, they've let you in and there's another man on the fridge. I've got a problem with the parents here. Yeah, the parents letting this happen. So did you call out your girlfriend and say who's that yeah well she'd kinda yeah she's just got all funny about it and

she's just like well yeah pretty much yeah yeah well i just bought a new like had she not tried to break up with you before and you just kind of forgot or something? No. Maybe. Yeah, I'm feeling like maybe you've missed something here. And mum and dad are like, why is he still coming around? Like a crucial conversation or a message or something. This is so bizarre. We literally just bought a vehicle together as well, like a week as well, pretty much. You bought a vehicle together?

Yeah. Why didn't you say car? Is it a people mover? Or is it a truck? No, it week as well, pretty much. You brought a vehicle together? Yeah. What kind of vehicle? Why didn't you say car? Is it a people mover? Or is it a truck? No, it's a four-wheel drive. Oh, okay, right. Four-wheel drive. So she went and Harvey's on a vehicle, but she's got another boyfriend.

Yeah, and then it was just awkward just trying to sort, selling that out and stuff like that. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and I would have just taken it. Who got the four-wheel drive then? Yeah. Who got the car? I just sold it. Now, who is the photo of taken it. Who got the four-wheel drive then? Yeah. Who got the car? I just sold it.

Now, who is the photo of the other guy still on the parents' fridge? Don't know. Don't talk to him anymore. Well, he doesn't still go round. Well, no, to be honest, it wouldn't surprise me. Just because that's the kind of guy it turns up. Anonymous, that's a wild story. Thank you so much for sharing some text messages, Zane.

Some replies we asked on Instagram. Charlotte said, I found out when his other girlfriend posted on Instagram, I'm so proud of you, babe. And I was like, I thought that was my babe. What is wrong with people?

Just end it. Like, just end it if you've found someone else. Why do you have two on the go? I know. I found out it's been cheated on because his best friend's mum called him and said,

you have 24 hours to tell her or I will. What, like an episode of 24? Yeah. Tong, tong, tong. Tong, tong. My dad drove past them, went and got security footage from the shop the next day. So, this is good dad. This is good dad stuff.

You see a guy, you're like, is that so-and-so? He's with another woman. Yeah. Go into the local shop that it was outside of, but you don't happen to have a security camera, do you? Seems a nefarious activity. How did he get that footage? He's Jack Bauer. It's another episode of 24.

I found a necklace in his gym bag. Oh, this has got love actually written all over it. The bag, I got him two weeks before. However, it was not my necklace and not for me. Oh, no. Maybe he's just been rocking a little set of pearls at the gym. Someone might have dropped it into his bag when he was getting changed

in the woman's changing room Was there a man that was after you? Yeah, maybe And then he sabotages this guy So you run into his arms Oh my god, do you know that would be a wild phone-in topic Have you ever sabotaged a relationship

to get the person? Tune in tomorrow Put it down for tomorrow Wild phone-in topic. Have you ever sabotaged your relationship to get the person? Ooh. Oh! Tune in tomorrow. Put it down for tomorrow. Tune in tomorrow. Tomorrow's mostly done. Tomorrow. I found out I was being cheated on when she got pregnant.

We are a lesbian couple. Last time I checked. The maths of that doesn't quite always work. I found woman's hair on the bed sheets. Says Justin. Yeah. But he could have dragged that in from anywhere. Could have had a Velcro, could have had a bit of Velcro,

rubbed up against somebody at the mall. You sound just like her. You sound just like her. So many. Those are just the replies we got. Don't cheat on people. No. Yeah.

Unless the other person's like, Jason, we're more hot. But then always have the pass card ready, right? Yeah, that's right. It's not cheating. I've got permission. You've asked pre-permission. My dad worked on the rigs. Oh, yeah.

I said he had to go back to work early because there was a rig emergency. Oh, yeah. Or a rigmergency. A rigmergency. A real rigamarole. So we went back to the rigs early, and then mum called the rig to ask dad a question, and they said, well, he's not here.

He hasn't been here for ages. He's on holiday in Egypt. Daddy's not in Egypt. Mum's got some questions about why dad's in Egypt. Wild. Great work, guys. 10 out of 10 if I say so myself. I'll do a 9.6.

Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? You sound very insincere. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.