ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 30th June 2022

Episode Date: June 30, 2022

Do you leave the toilet door open?What did you see weird on a planeTop 6When did a celeb push in front of youMost addictive foods Guy MontgomeryFact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe and

grab a rich, smooth barista made coffee. Let's make this quick. Get to the airport and get home because today is my only chance to have a... Oh, maybe tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow afternoon might also be a good chance for me to have a play on the digger. There's a digger at my house doing the earthworks for the shed. And I'm allowed to play on it. The guy who drives the digger said... Did he say that you're allowed to? Yeah, he gave me a quick rundown on how it all works.

Does he know that only just at the weekend you got your car stuck down a... Yeah, but that was a car on a hill in mud. This is a digger on the flat in mud. Do you need a special license to operate a digger? You should do. I don't think so. No. Maybe for a commercial.

I'd imagine you could probably just buy a digger and dig a hole. No license required. But if you're doing work for people, you might need some sort of proof of professionalism. Does this mean that you won't be having a couple of cheeky mimosas in the Kuru Lounge? I definitely will be. I find that loosens me up for a little digger driving. Yeah, perfect. What are you going to dig?

Is there something to be dug? Well, there's so many. I was thinking about The long list of things I could do There's a few tree stumps Because this digger Not only has a bucket You turn the bucket around

And it's got these pinches And then you can like Pinch tree stumps And just rip them all out As one You should take it down To that supermarket And get that claw machine

In the claw Get the claw in the claw machine You'd get something with that You'd actually get the whole toys All the toys I thought you meant Go down get the whole toys, all the toys. I thought you meant go down to the supermarket, pluck out the bollards

so we can do a ram raid. Like all the cool kids are doing. Either or would be fun. I think the idea with a ram raid is the speed and efficiency of the break-in. I mean, I could also just smash

with the digger. There was the digger in the BP, right? Yeah, they did, yeah. In Wainui Amata. Oh my God. Someone drove into it with a digger. I won't be doing any of that.

I've got nothing but respect for diggers. Do you want to drive it down to my house? It'll be quite fun. It'll take a very, very, very long time. Very slow. But I'm a digger. I could just go in a straight line. Nothing can stop me.

Hills. Straight through West Auckland. Yeah. Fences, gates, houses. No worries for the man and his digger. All right. Well, join us on tomorrow's show when Vaughan tells us what it's like to bust through some pipes that he didn't know were in his backyard.

Uh-oh. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. So we are not even hungover. No, not at all. No. I'm just going to turn you right down, though. Am I quite loud?

I've got sensitive ears this morning. Help me, Jareed. Help me, Jareed. Thank you, that's perfect. Did you hurt them at karaoke last night? Yeah, I did a little bit. They've become finely tuned instruments at karaoke last night. So she's not used to you barking on and...

Because, of course, you weren't at karaoke. Well, I'd gone home to get changed. I had a spill. Someone had a spill. You did a fresh T-shirt. Yeah. Exactly. Granite had a spill, so he had to pop out.

Tell you what, the women of Four Non Blondes, God, they set some high notes, didn't they? I tried to reach them. It's a challenging number, isn't it? What was her name? Linda. And I say... Not this Linda. Not this morning. Not this morning, no, no.

So today, broadcasting the show in Wellington at the Nomi Hotel. We're in another boardroom today, another boardroom show. Boardroom show. Overlooking Cuba. It's great to just be seeing the Wellington Sea Market in action this morning. Yes, I see some gurnard there. I see some gurnard.

Huge fan of gurnard, although I'm always disappointed when gurnard's fish of the day because it's a smaller fillet. Yes, I see some gurnard there. I see some gurnard. Yep, a huge fan of gurnard, although I'm always disappointed when gurnard's fish of the day because it's a smaller fillet. Yeah, you like a bigger one. I'm a size queen. I'm a terakihi man. You love a terakihi.

I love a terakihi. Do you reckon they'll quickly drop one in the deep fryer for us? Oh, I could absolutely hurt anything deep fried right now. You just told us you wanted a quesadilla. I know. My cravings are just going left, right and centre.

Fistaco. Oh, you've absolutely hit the nail on the head. I believe it's pronounced quesadilla, by the way. It is quesadilla. Jalapenos would be nice. Yes. Your Spanish, very good this morning. Hola.

Joining us on the show this morning, we've got a special guest, Guy Montgomery. He joins us. I believe there's a milestone for seven days. Yes, it's their finale tonight for season, I don't know, 11 or something like that. But they have been, and I say this as the host of The Opposition show, like cracking the ratings. Absolutely an amazing season for them.

So Guy's going to join us. He's going to tell us about something that happened at one of his shows in Australia. Oh, my God. Which is horrifying. If you've not heard, it's a wild story. Coming up on the show, the top six is coming up before seven. Yeah, the National Party of New Zealand have declared themselves the party for women. Oh, okay.

Thank God. Hmm? Thank God. Yeah, thank God someone's willing to, you know. To stand up for us. Thank God someone's willing to say, yeah, we'll do it. We'll look after the Sheilas. Fantastic.

Yeah. Okay. You know, because they're just pretty little flowers, aren't they? That need to be guarded, loved, looked after. Smiling as well would be nice if they slept a smile on their face. Yeah. Oh, they're so much prettier when they smile. So much prettier when they smile.

God. on their face. Yeah, oh, they're so much prettier when they smile. So much prettier when they smile. I've actually got the leaked memorandum from the National Party. Oh, okay. Yeah, and it is the top six ways the National Party will become the party for women. Clay, Zed Eames, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. In New Zealand yesterday

announcing its biggest cabin overhaul in 20 years. New seats are coming and what they're calling the Sky Nest, which I believe Vaughan Smith. I invented. You invented. Someone go into the archives. There was a top six. There was a top six where I talked about

ways for airlines to make the most out of the space they've got. And everything I described it was in this press release yesterday. Yeah, but this is some serious, and I'll say it, bullshit. Didn't you also say seats on the wings, though? Probably. I mean, you can't... It would be nice to feel the wind through your hair, though, wouldn't it?

It would be. Yeah. The cold, cold, cold, cold. Absolutely. So the Skynest are going to be... This is the other thing that annoys me, is all these new seats that they're announcing and the Skynest where you can lie down in economy, are not coming until 2024.

In economy? Yeah. So poor people can lie down as well. Yeah, so this is, the thing people have been able to lie down for a long time on the plane. Well, only when like the other three seats next to you were empty. Yeah. You could lie down. Or on the floor. Or the, you did that thing, next to you were empty. Yeah. You could lie down. Or on the floor.

Or the, you did that thing, what's it called? Sky couch. Sky couch, yeah. So they're still going to have sky couch. But this is going to be. No good for a leggy lady like me, though. No, because you are a leggy lady. These will be pods that are at the front of the economy cabin,

and you will be able to have four hours. I know, I designed it. And I don't know why you're telling me like I didn't invent it. I can't help but feel like they're going to charge more for these. So four hours. Is that enough? So say you're going to New York, and the flight's 18 hours.

You have four hours of allocated sleep time. Oh, wait, and then someone else gets into your bed. They wake you up, and then you're out of there. But you're also paying for it on top of your seat. Oh, wait, and then someone else gets into your bed. And then they wake you up and then you're out of there. But you're also paying for it on top of your seat. Oh, get a grip. That's not economy. That's premium. No, they've got a brand new premium seat.

They've got a brand new business class. Would you, if it was the sleeping option, sleep in a coffin? Yeah. On a plane? What, do they shut the lid or is the lid off? Yeah, the lid gets shut. Oh no, if the lid's on they're going to stack here. I think what you're just saying is the overhead bin, aren't you? You're saying the overhead luggage bin. Yeah, but it's a coffin.

They're padded though, aren't they? They are padded. And you don't hear any complaints from the people who usually sleep in coffins. I'd panic. I'd start doing a Kill Bill. The one inch punch. The one inch punch. Big Kill Bill. I have played the one-inch punch. The one-inch punch. Big Kill Bill fan.

I haven't watched Kill Bill for ages. It was one of those movies when I first watched it, I was like, I feel like this is a movie I'm going to watch a lot. Volume two, absolutely perfect film. But no, you don't, yeah. This is not going to be a $59 flight. No, well, these will be on the long-haul flights. They're not going to be on the domestic routes.

Ah. We can't have a nap between Auckland and Tauranga. Well, you can just do it in your seat. A 25-minute flight. But how much do you reckon they're going to charge for this? Like, you've already paid your ticket to New York. And you get to have a four-hour sleep shift. Yeah.

Do you reckon they'll charge, like, $500? $100. That's an expensive nap. Because you think these big pods are taking up like two rows of seats, which on a flight would be thousands of dollars. Yeah. So then they're going to get their money back somehow, right? Yeah.

I'll tell you what, talking about expensive naps, I napped through the stock exchange crash that time, of course. I didn't get my money out. Yeah, and you missed out, didn't you? I missed out. I lost everything. That's the most expensive nap in history. Wow.

On record. So sorry. God, I've been trying to recoup my losses ever since. You have been. expensive nap in history. Wow. On record. So sorry. Yeah. I've been trying to recoup my losses ever since. You have been. And now your KiwiSaver's down. Don't even talk about that. Yeah.

And the New Zealand's stealing my IP. Oh, no. Well, just take a sleeping pill. That's free. Yeah. I don't know why we need these sleep pods. Where do you get your sleeping pills from if they're free? Well, you go to the doctor, so you're paying for the doctor.

Are you roofing yourself again? You've got to lay off that ketamine, man. But literally, you just went to Disneyland. Did you take a sleeping pill? Yes, sir, I did. Yeah, and then there you go. You take a sleeping pill. Yeah, but I need sleeping pills.

There's plenty of leg room. Plenty of leg room. All right, our silly little poll is next on the show. Toilet, when you're home alone, a door open or door closed? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.illy Little Pole Silly Little Pole Today's Silly Little Pole. Leaving the toilet door open when you're alone. So you're home alone.

No one else is there. You need to go to the bathroom. It's a sit down I'm imagining. Because I leave the door open for a stand even when we've got guests. You do? Yeah, I do that too. You absolutely do. I'm nip in the... You absolutely do. I nip to the toilet at my own home.

I'm like, I'm only going to be a second. I can't be bothered closing the door. Yeah. I'll just get it done. I'll do that if I'm doing a wheeze. Yeah, a little wheeze. Your toilet open almost 24-7 as a solo. Yeah.

Well, that's the thing. I never shut the door. And when I do, I'm always like, I always forget there's like a hook on the back of the door. That old moldy towel you forgot about. Yes. No, I actually did. I had lost a towel because I had six towels.

You know, my Sheridans. I don't like to go on about my nice Sheridans. You've got half a dozen towels. Six, yeah. Jesus, that's a lot. Is that a lot of towels? No, because per person, six each. Yeah, but then if you have a guest, six collectively.

And I go swimming and gymming and stuff. Yeah, right. And then there was one, I had five, and I was like, has the washing machine eaten it? And literally for months I was like, where is this towel? And someone had been staying, and they put it on the back of the door. And because I'd never shut the door, I didn't know that my nice Sheridan was there. I think that would be a great thing. How many towels do you have per person?

Oh, yeah. We'll do that. Carwen for tomorrow. Do you like that one, Carwen? Yeah. She's not talking to you, though, at the moment because you put up all the karaoke singing on the story. You made too many dots on the story. But we've become siblings this week.

I think it's unfair. I'm so emotional. Yeah, you are. Choking up. Beautiful family bond you have. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah. How many towels are you rocking per person? I like that.

That's great. That's really interesting. So leaving the toilet door open when you're alone is the day. Silly little poll. 85% of people said yeah, for sure. Yeah, man. I only ever close the door even when Aaron's home for Tuesdays. Right.

Every now and then I'll sit down for a onesie and I'll have the door open. He'll walk past and then I'll feel a Tuesday and Iie and I'll have the door open and he'll walk past and then I'll feel a twosie and I'll go oh can you close the door actually and he'll go oh my god for god's sake

and he'll close it yeah I'll only close the door for a wipe on two what you two with the door open with Sade's I'll two with the door open because I want to talk to her when you're doing a two

yeah oh that's disgusting but then I'll say do you mind just flicking that shut because because I don't... I'm opening up here.

We were married for 10 years before she finds out that I'm a stand to wipe. Oh, yeah, I'm a stand to wiper. I'm like fully stand and then wipe. No, you perch forward. No, no. Wait, wait, wait. Are you standing erect? Straight up and down.

You're clenching your wipe area. Yeah, I know. I don't wipe the whole thing. No, wait, wait. Are you standing erect? Straight up. You're clenching your wipe area. Yeah, I know. I don't wipe the whole thing. No, you stand. And she's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm wiping. She's like, why are you standing? I was like, I don't.

This is how I've always done it. But you're literally closing your cheeks. No, no, no, no. I stand. You kind of do a squat. It's a stand squat. No, it doesn't work. It does.

No, it does. You're standing up straight. Yeah, you've got to squat. Like squat. It's a stand squat. No, it doesn't work. It does. No, it does. You're standing up straight. Yeah, you've got to squat. Like that. Yeah, it's a stand squat. That's very silly. That's very silly. This is now why I asked you to shut the door.

I do that too. You guys, just do this. Is that not the norm? No, no. No. You're going to touch the bowl. Open. You're going to wash your hands regardless.

I know, but I've always been a stander. You guys are psychos. No, I're going to touch the bowl. Open. You're going to wash your hands regardless. I know, but Noah's always been a stand-up. You guys are psychos. Noah's always been anything different. All right. We've got some responses. Well, leaving the toilet door open when you're aligned. Josh, keep it closed. I refuse to be caught out pooping by a burglar.

Lock the front door, Josh. Lock the front door. You've got to watch that. I'm going to rob you. Close the doors. Evie says, close the doors. I don't want the smell. Lock the front door. You've got to watch that. I'm going to rob you. Close the doors. Evie says, close the doors. I don't want the smell going into the other rooms. My room is the closest.

I don't want smelly wheeze in my room. Oh, you need to drink some more water. And lay off the asparagus. Yeah. Tamsin said, close. If I leave it open, my cat will come in and jump up onto my lap. So she's truly never alone. Rolly always jumps on my lap when I'm doing a ones or a twos.

Always. I would throw a cat out so quickly. That's fun. Ash says, I do it when I'm not alone. Door's open. Door's open. We took the door off our en suite, says Antonia. Flex there that she's got an en suite.

Yeah, got an en suite. To paint it and haven't put it back on. It's been well over a year. Only time any of us close the main bathroom door is if we have friends over. And Krista says, I'm voting yeah for sure while on the toilet alone. So they were literally on the toilet alone at home

with the door open at time of voting. Oh, okay. That's truly authentic. Very intimate. Yeah, very, very. Thank you for having us with you during this experience. At time of voting. Oh, okay. That's truly authentic. Very intimate. Yeah, very, very. Thank you for having us with you during this experience. All right.

Well, we're a nation of door open. We're free. Here we are. All right. Good on us. I can put you in my first class. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. I'm going to say this makes me embarrassed to be a woman.

Okay. This next story. So a lady has gone viral online on the talk because of a, she said it called it a hack, but this is in no way a hack. It takes 55 minutes for her to do this thing. It's how she washes her vegetables, which she should always do, by the way. Oh, but just under the tap. Yeah, I do a rinse under the tap.

And a shake. Sometimes in a colander, a bit of a shake. Yeah. I don't have a salad spinner or anything like that. Oh, some people have. Have you seen salad spinners? Yeah, I have. Crazy.

I used to own one, but I just never used it. Right. I just roll up the dice and get that package stuff. I know you meant to wash it. They say wash it. You still got to wash the package stuff. I'm alive. Yeah.

You're alive. Aren't I? Better round up, never hurt anybody. Yeah. This voice break brought to you by the lovely people at Monsanto. Thank you. Thank you very much. They're lovely people.

Oh, lovely people. Lovely people. So her life hack, quote unquote, if you can't see my fingers, which you can't because it's radio, is to wash your vegetables in the washing machine. So she puts her greens, for example, a lot of kale, lettuce leaves, curly lettuce and the like. She puts it into her washing machine. Bit of broccoli? Is there a bit of broccoli in there?

No brock in this one, but I'm sure she would. Oh, I don't wash my broccoli. No, neither. Why not? It doesn't feel dirty to me. I don't know. But it's exactly the same as a lettuce. Always leaves. You've got to wash the leaves. But I never wash a brock. Oh, okay.

I don't wash tomatoes either. I always give a... This is a horrendous double standard. It is. You're saying leafy. Can you see the irony here? No, I am. It's just coming to me now that I only wash leaves.

Yeah, leafy greens are harbouring all this bad stuff. You don't wash a cucumber. That's roughly delightful plastic. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If it comes plastic. Anyway, so she puts them in. She selects a 55 minute delicate cycle and puts it on.

What an idiot. Is it like a cap of Persil? No Persil. I think she lets the Persil out. Well this is the thing. Everyone was like, ew, yuck. You're going to have residual washing powder in there. And she was like, no, it tastes absolutely fine. It's just a water cycle. But sometimes before she does this,

she puts it on a little rinse cycle with some vinegar. So she's taking 90 minutes to... I don't think she does this. I think she just did it for TikTok. I'm going to go out there and say I don't believe that she actually this is a thing. She just thought this would be this will get everybody talking on the talk.

Well, we are. Get people following her. Broadcast radio. Yeah. Terrestrial broadcast radio. We've fallen into her trap is what you're saying. Yeah, we've fallen into her trap. Damn it.

Don't do this. I'm cynical. I'm cynical. Put it in a colander, give it a little shade, and you'll be all right. Yeah, silly, silly people. Like, people aren't happy about it. How old is this wahine? I can only show you visually.

I'm guessing she looks like she's in her 20s, desperate for attention. Look at her. So you're calling fake? I'm calling fake. Hashtag fake. I'm calling fake. I'm calling another TikTok ruse that we've all fallen for. If it's true, it's the stupidest thing I've ever seen on TikTok,

and I've seen some things. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the sophisticated ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six. Yes. Hell of a week for Simon O'Connor, who I hadn't heard of at the start of the week,

but now I know that he's a big piece of shit. He's a National Party MP that when Wade versus Roe was overturned in the States, he put out there, today's a good day, in reference to the fact that women would no longer be... Have the right to... Have the right to do what they want with their body.

Yeah. I was reading his backstory. He, for nine years, studied to be a, what are those religious people? Priest. Pastor. Yeah, one of them. A priest. A leader of a church.

A Catholic. A Catholic one. Yes, a Catholic. They're the worst. And then I think after. I'm allowed to say that because I was raised Catholic. And then I think after nine years, I guess he was like, boobies, and then stopped it. Boobies.

He wanted boobies? I don't know about that. Oh. Well, he's not a priest anymore. Well, I don't know. I don't know what happened there. He might have been like, money. Oh, yeah, true.

Or boobies. Yeah, money or boobies. Money and boobs. You know, that's the two things that will derail the best Christians. So, obviously, the party he represents, the National Party, said,

take down your post. And people are screaming, oh, bloody, the nanny states got to the wokeness of infiltrated Big Blue.

Who told him to take it down? Christopher Luxon. Christopher Luxon said it's not the party's line. Well, it's his line, though. It's Christopher Luxon's personal thing. Yes, he to take it down? Christopher Luxon. Christopher Luxon said it's not the party's line. Well, it's his line, though. It's Christopher Luxon's personal thing. Yes, he voted against it.

He considers himself a Christian. A pro-lifer. A pro-lifer. Well, you've got a leaked memo because National have come out and said, we're actually a party for women. The National Party is a party for women? Did you know this, Hayley? I'm listening.

I'll change my vote. I'm a greenie through and through, but happy to change. Happy to. Well, throughout the interview with Breakfast's Maddie McLean, Luxon sought to reassure a woman in New Zealand that the abortion laws won't be revisited if the National Party get into power. And, you know, the National Party is a party for women. So I've got a hold of their memo that's going around the top six ways

that the National Party will become more of a party for women i'm listening number six chalkies for the days that are in a bad mood but sugar-free we don't want our ladies blowing out oh god no number five number five on the list of the top six I can't wait for the complaints for this one. The National Party will become the party of women. Men will now have to carry anything weighing over 3kgs if they ever see a woman. Oh my God, thank God. I simply don't have the strength. No, I wouldn't have thought so. And I don't want to get bulked.

I don't want to get too bulky. Except babies. We won't carry them. Those are yours. Those are your problem. That's your problem. That's why they gave us hips so they can rest on the hip. To rest on the hip. Exactly, to rest on the hip.

Yeah. Exactly. What are these hips for otherwise? But if it's shopping and such, let me take that off your hands, love. Am I supposed to pick it up? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Number four on the list of the top six ways the National Party will become the party for

women, we've just heard at the National Party about periods. And we think they must be awfully inconvenient. Terribly. Terribly. So we're going to give you a discount to buy super pads for all of our menstruating friends. Oh, my God. I tell you what, women love pads. I've seen these other things, these moon cups.

Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. How's that getting in there? Have you seen these pads? They're like nappies. Yeah. Fantastic.

Thank you so much. Fantastic. That's all right. That's all right. Thank God. Number three on the list of the top six ways the National Party will become more of a party foreman. Are the pads still going to be taxed?

Heavily. Heavily. I just want to make sure I'm paying my way. Heavily. Oh, when I say discount, minimal. Yeah, yeah, great. Minimal. Minimal discount.

But we've got you another voucher in at number three. Oh. For when you're not on your periods. Which is seldom. You might want some frilly knickers from Peaches and Creams and we'll get you

a frilly knickers voucher. Oh, we love a frilly knickers, don't we? We love frilly knickers. Every single woman. We want them to feel like the angels

they are by forcing them to wear frilly knickers. We love a frill. Yeah, you do. Famously, very breathable and good for the pH balance. Huge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fantastic. And red, of course. Oh, thank you. Lacy and red. Oh, we love a red undie. Yeah. Because it hides the menstruation.

Of course it does. Which we here at the National Party just want you to know is disgusting. Oh, that's right. That's gross. Number two on the list of the top six ways the National Party will become the party for women. We might buy you some flowers, but just cheap ones from the supermarket. Because they're going to be dead in a few days. So no point going crazy, you know.

Right, to plastic. Yes. Yeah. You're welcome. Oh, thank you. It'll make you feel better with all this perioding. Yeah, flowers absolutely fixes everything when you're doubled over. Yeah.

And the number one in the top six ways the National Party will become more of the party for women. We'll buy you a drink, no strings attached, but also say no strings attached while buying a drink. Make it seem like there are strings attached, but honestly, no strings attached. All right. I just wanted to put a smile on your face. Great. You're so much prettier when you smile. Yeah.

And as you can see, we're very serious here about becoming the party for women. Yeah. Okay. The party for women. There you go, two ticks blue by the sounds. Yeah, two ticks blue. Yeah. And as you can see, we're very serious here about becoming the party for women. Yeah, okay. Well, there you go, two ticks blue by the sounds. Yeah, two ticks blue. Yeah. You've swayed my vote. Wait, do you get votes?

We were the first. But you just vote how your husband or father tell you to, right? I just do whatever Aaron says. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuel, fuel. Which I believe is

typically two ticks yellow. Yellow? Big act, man. Huge act supporter. Oh, no, they've got absolutely no interest in being a party for a woman. No, no, no. Or humans. Or humans.

That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley's Community Notices. Hello and welcome to Community Notices, a segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local Facebook pages. And now they're on the back straight and you can see it's going to be a clear winner today. Jared used to work at Trackside and when I started doing that, he has PTSD. Yeah, he's got PTSD. Shakes.

It's alright, Jared. You're in a safe place now. You're safe now. We got you. Yeah, he's like one. Shakes. It's all right, Jared. You're in a safe place now. You're safe now. We got you. Yeah, he's like one of those greyhounds we rescued. Oh, who quivers every time a man walks past. Yeah. Especially a man in like a cheese cutter hat.

Yeah, with a best bet. Friday Flasher and best bets. Yeah, you slash piece of shit out of your whack. Yeah, cost him a fortune. Oh, really? You're racing an animal. Yeah, I don't like greyhound racing. You're quite political today.

You are very political. I'm not afraid to touch some hot stones. I'm in Wellington. Some hot stones? You're in the political capital. It's the political capital. I get political here. Yeah, you do.

It's the hippy-dippy-arty-farty Wellington rubbing off on you. Yeah, but I'm a real political mixed bag, you know? Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Because you love a tax break, don't you? Huge. He loves a tax break.

Owns a few houses. This guy loves a loophole. He loves a tax loophole. He loves ring-fencing his losses. That's what he loves doing. He loves sitting down with the accountant and being like, how can we screw him? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Could I start a company to get around that? But then he's a huge lefty. It's a real juxtaposition. Yeah, I know. I'm hard to read. Let's start with a house for sale advertisement. Advertisement. This is for sale at Morrison Ave, Papua Newi and Christchurch.

This is how the house is described. Freehold, renovated, and walking distance to Kmart. Oh! How much? I'll buy. Selling point. I don't know. It's a deadline sale. It's on Morrison Ave in Papunui, so I mapped that out and they're not wrong. You'll get

from your house to Kmart, and this is taking the streets too. You could probably take a little bit of a shortcut and get there quicker, but it's a seven-minute walk. How is it one of those 24-hour Kmarts? Because I think there needs to be a documentary on the people that go to Kmart between midnight and 4 a.m.

What's the latest you've been to Kmart? Who? Never. That's a good little poll. That's a good little Instagram question there. What's the latest time you've been to Kmart? Look at that. We're just doing work while we work.

For tomorrow's work. Always on for tomorrow's work. I think I've done maybe, I've rocked a 10pm once. Wow. Maybe at Christmas. It felt wild. People have gone late, but who is going after midnight? Like shift workers?

Or is someone just can't sleep and it's 2 o'clock? They're like, I know what I could do. Go to Kmart. I remember when the, this is going back many years, but the warehouse did a 24 hour stint just before Christmas one year. And I went at like 11.30 I was at a mate's place in

Monaco and we went and it was insane. It was like a post-apocalyptic shit. It just dragged off the shelves. Chocolates had fingers through them. Like it was the Wild West out there. Everyone there on behalf of Santa.

Yeah, just going nuts for Santa. So yeah, if you want to buy a house, there you go. That one's up for sale and within walking distance to Kmart.

Sam's got a very good question. Christchurch-based question. Recommendations for the best bakery in Christchurch. I'll be hung over AF tomorrow, so need the best comfort food before work at 7.30am. What's that one that we went to? Bakerman's?

Yeah, that's correct. There's a few of them, though. There's a few of them, though. Good stuff. You can definitely get out there. I think we met last night and I was like, no, it was a night and day. It was a night and day.

It was a night and day, but we'll just put that behind us. Hibiscus Coast questions. So we will turn to our Hibiscus Coast representative, Executive Intern Anya. Isaac wants to know, where's the best spot that all the cougars

hang out on the coast? Wanting to have a couple of brewskis and hoping to have some fine older whas around. Crow's Nest. Crow's Nest. Crow's Nest. Okay, all right.

Crow's Nest. Well, Tracy says, right now if you pop down to the Silverdale Rugby Club, Kevin Green's showcase is on rock and rollers everywhere. Oh, okay. I don't know what... Some very helpful

people. Someone said the Evelyn Hodge Retirement Village might be slightly north of what you're expecting. There's some older gals up there. Do you hang out at the Retirement Village bar? Not yet, but look, I wouldn't rule it out. You know what? You need to become one of those black widows.

That's what they call them when they get in with someone in the retirement village who's about to die and then they get in their will, they get all their money. I'd love to get in some wills. There you go. Become a black widow. I don't even want money. I just want to have the first pick of the trinkets. I just want to be around the table as they read it out.

Yeah, I want the trinkets. I just want to be around the table as they read it out. Yeah, I want the trinkets. I want a barn find. You know, you go into this old boy's garage and there's a bloody 1960, I don't know. Coca-Cola sign. Oh, no, I was thinking cars, but yeah, Coca-Cola sign. I just want to fight with their kids who are like, you've only been on the scene six months, and I'll be like, well, suck it, I'm in the world. Yeah, well, where have you been?

I've been nursing your father. Exactly. Let's go to Wigram, the Wigram Skies community page. Oh, this is spicy. And the backstory here is something I need to hear more about. Spray painted on the road and red spray paint outside someone's house. Whose husband is next? Oh!

I love that. Mama! Because it's not like a derogatory swear word or a cheater. It's whose husband is next. Oh, I love that. I love that because it's not like a derogatory swear word or a cheater. It's whose husband is next. Oh, I love that. I love that. I know. And really neat writing too.

So I think there's a primary school teacher that's been cheated on there. Oh, yeah. Now, do we have a back story? Would you like one? No, nothing. God, if anyone knows, text in 9696. Please do. Where is it?

Wigram. Wigram. Well, Megan, who posted it on the Wigram Sky's community page, said, has anybody found out what this is all about? I know, juicy. Sassy Sally up the road. Local gossip hound Megan is out for it. Wrote through a notice board.

Claire says she's pictured four rings, one plain gold band, one extravagant diamond engagement ring, the wedding band to accompany the thing, and then I'm guessing another gold ring with three rows of diamonds. $10,000 for all four, she says. Pay me for more details. Oh, that's a break-up, isn't it? Yeah.

Not a bad price for four bloody diamond and gold rings. Yeah, look, I think she even got his ring. Oh, yeah. Because that's very... That's his. That's his ring there, right? Wow. So I don't know if you're in the market.

Well, you get the whole set, couldn't you? Yeah. Save money. Yeah. Would you wear a secondhand ring? No, not personally. Gals, would we wear a secondhand ring for our engagements? I mean, they're not engaged, are they?

No. I am. Wow. I am. You're almost at the point of taking any ring, aren't you? Yeah. Take a burger ring at the end. Yeah.

Get a ring on that finger, Mr. Bun Buns. And finally, from the Bishopdale Community Group, Emma's given everybody a klepto cat update. Somebody said she has once again escalated her efforts, and I don't even know what to do with her right now. If these are your robes, we can return them. This cat's dragging robes. Oh, wow.

Like bath robes. Yep. Kid sizes. One has a size 12 on the tag the other has a size 14 otherwise i'll hold on to them for a week and then likely um donate them oh wow yeah so she's got a klepto cat who's out there stealing everything yeah if you see anything pop up on your local facebook page uh screenshot it send it in to us yeah fvhzm so this has uh is a study using science the science being they asked people what foods are yummy on a scale of one to seven. Okay. Why seven? Why not go to ten or five? Psychopaths. Psychopaths.

Seven. Seven being the most addictive and yummy, one being not addictive. So that was the food they asked, like which food can you not give up? Cheese. Cheese is up there, right? You know cheese is in there. I know for a fact that there have been studies

that have found that it gives you the same hit as drugs. Cheese. I was going to say cheaper, but no, not really. It's whatever food you get your kicks from. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Well, I've got the least, we'll start at the bottom with the least addictive foods with an average of 1.53 on the one to seven addictive psychopath scale. Cucumbers. Okay, right. No one's addicted to a cucumber. No one's 1 to 7 addictive psychopath scale. Cucumbers. Okay, right. No one's addicted to a cucumber. No one's addicted to a cucumber. No one's addicted to carrots, just above that. No one's addicted to beans, bracket, parentheses, no sauce.

Okay, when are we getting to the yum foods? So baked beans, a possibility of addiction. Black beans. Yeah, yeah, but black beans. Plain, broad beans. With the aquafaba sucked out of it. Yeah. Beans, apples,

brown rice, broccoli, bananas. No one's addicted to salmon, are they? It's yum. I love a salmon. I love a crispy skin salmon. Now, corn, parentheses,

no butter. Corn with butter. Top of the bloody list, Yeah, that goes up the list. Boring stuff. We've got crackers. We've got water.

I'm addicted to water. I'm going to drink it all the time or I'll die. Yeah, we all do the list. Boring stuff. We've got crackers. We've got water. I'm addicted to water. I'm going to drink it all the time or I'll die. Yeah, we all do, don't we? Nuts, least addictive. Then we move into the most addictive foods. Okay. We've got muffins. Oh, okay.

Yeah, but she's got to be a moist. She's got to be a moist. Love the muffin. I won't have a dry. Oh. Put it in the trash. If I'm doing like a raspberry white chocolate muffin, I'll get it heated up. Oh, a little bit heated?

Chocolate goes a bit gooey. So it goes a bit gooey. I only heat a savoury. Oh, okay. Unless it's straight from the oven, in which case you've lucked out. Steak, just above a muffin. Yum. We love a steak.

Love a steak. Gummy candy. Now, that's something I'm very passionate about. Yes. And I'm very addicted to. Yeah, see, I can take or leave a gummy. You're a psycho. Breakfast cereal, just above that. You're a cereal boy. I'm an oats to. Yeah, see I can take or leave a gummy. You're a psycho. Breakfast cereal just

above that. You're a cereal boy. I'm an oats, which isn't cereal. Oats is 100% cereal. I believe that you switched teams there. Hayley and Joanne team oats is definitely cereal. In the supermarket it says cereal. That oats. It's a different thing. And this is

specifically talking about your sugary, your fruit loops. Fruit loops is the picture they've got here. Above that, parentheses, buttered, popcorn. No. Okay. Yes, but addictive in like, you're just like, once you have a handful. You just keep going. Yeah, it is.

Good Lord, you can't stop. Especially like caramel popcorn or like coated. Yeah. And when you go to the movies, you do have a cubic meter of it to get through. Absolutely. Absolutely. Fill the gut. Plain rolls, just above that.

Like bread rolls. Buns. Okay. Like a dinner roll at Christmas. Spoiler. You get your par-baked rolls. Or a dinner roll. Yeah, yeah.

Dinner roll. But don't buy a fully baked dinner roll. It doesn't heat as well. Buy a par-baked. Par-baked. Which means it's all butt-baked. You just give it 10, 15 And I tell you what I tell you what

Well you can see why they're on the most addictive foods list Well you know Because you're not so much rolls, you're a garlic bread bringer So we know this about you Only the best Mama Friales That is a premium garlic bread I'm wrapped in tinfoil because I'm a

Piss a shit Wow, okay That is a premium garlic bread. I'm wrapped in tinfoil because I'm a pisser shit. Wow. Okay. Last time I bring premium garlic bread to your barbecues. Just above that, fried chicken. Oh yeah, man. How much fried food have we had in the last three days?

A lot, but do you know what I could go home and hit tonight? The teagull. Takeouts. Have you had it? No. They're addictive, aren't they? But do you know what I could go home and hit tonight? The Tegel. The Tegel takeouts. Takeouts. It's crazy. Have you had it? No. The Tegel takeouts? No. They're addictive, aren't they?

Are they? Let's talk. You go get some. Have some tonight. We'll talk tomorrow. I love me a nuggy. Above that, bacon. Oh, yeah.

I'm not a big bacon gal. Okay. So what number are we up to on the one to seven addictive food scale? We're at a three. Okay. It only goes up to a four though of most addictive. So then I'll just

smash them out. We've got cheese above that obviously. Yep. Yep. That's pretty good. Then cake. Get in the trash.

No. What's wrong with cake? Cake sucks. It's muffins and ice cakes. I thought we all agreed that cake sucks. No, no. Cake rules.

Cake is amazing. Oh my God. Cake sucks. Why do you hate cake? We celebrate our special day with it. Yeah, but only because we've been told that that's how we celebrate. But it's. Oh, my God. Cake sucks. Why do you hate cake? We celebrate our special day with it. Yeah, but only because we've been told that that's how we celebrate. But that's how I want to celebrate. I had the moistest, our daughter's birthday recently, the moistest drink.

Why would I have a cake full of pudding? You just said you like cold muffin. I'm not a huge muffin. That's Carwen. I was speaking on behalf of Carwen. She doesn't have a microphone. Right. Moving above that.

Cake trash. Soda. Parentheses. Not diet., cake trash. Soda. Parentheses, not diet. Oh, yeah. Full shugs. I would have thought diet soda would have been more addictive. Now, just above that is a Chas burger and now you've hooked me. Yeah, you've got to put it up. I've got to eat five of those. French fries

above that, you can't stop. Once you start, you can't stop. Ice cream above that, any flavour. Yeah. Cookies above that. Chips. Yeah, good stuff. Because the next one, crisps. Yeah, well, you've got to punish the whole bag, don't you? Yeah, absolutely.

They'll go sour if you put them back. And then our top two. Okay. Just above that. Have a little guessy. You haven't said pizza yet, and that would be my number one, I think. Taco's. Oh, taco's not on there.

Chocolate is number two. Oh, yes. Our old friend. Yep. And then pizza, number one. Yes. Pizza, the most addictive. More than chocolate.

Is it too early to order a pizza? No. Breakfast pizza. Let's do it. Yep. What's on a breakfast pizza? Egg. Egg, ham.

Yes. Hash browns. Onion. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, today, tonight, in fact, it is the finale, the season finale of Seven Days. And this season it's been a new time slot, longer air time, and the ratings have been insane. And on the show tonight... Are you just saying that because you've been on it?

Yeah, I've been on it a fair bit. She's trying to book a few appearances next season. I'm also treading lightly because obviously it's not my show, is it? But anyway, on the show tonight is the one and only Guy Montgomery, and he joins us now. Kia ora, Guy. Kia ora. Are you in a car? Wait, wait, wait.

I'd also like to say kia ora to Fletch. And also, if I may, like to say kia ora to Vaughan. Well, thank you for including all of us. A big kia ora. Do you want to do the producer's team, or are you just going to keep it to the talent? No, no. I have no respect for the people in the back room.

Fun finale tonight with you guys. Tom Sainsbury, heard of him. Laura Daniel, heard of her. Nad Sami, Ray O'Leary, and of course, Jeremy Corbett. I think he'll make an appearance. Yeah, he's going to do his best. It's going to be, I tell you what, do you like to laugh, Hayley? Are you one of those people who likes to laugh?

Oh, you know me. I like to laugh, Hayley? Are you one of those people who likes to laugh? No, you know me. I like to laugh on the minute, every minute. Well, you know, you might be laughing too much on this show then because we'll be laughing at least twice every minute. That's the goal we've set ourselves. Big promises. You know, it's been proven

to be medically good for you too. A laugh reduces the blood pressure. Absolutely. That's right. In fact, there was a movie about that called Patch Adams. And the actor, Robin Williams, he played a laugh doctor. And he'd go around the hospital. I don't know if you see it. I assume a lot of people died because you need medicine as well. That's the combination of the two.

Now, Guy, following you on social media, you've just spent a lot of time in Melbourne. How's that been? Oh, yes. Well, it's very nice. They call it the cultural capital, and for good reason. This is a city that is drowning in shows and sports and cafes, and I was there recently.

Can you believe this? I filmed an hour-long comedy special. It's just me for an hour. I know. And that one, the goal was to make people laugh thrice on the minute. What? The hit rate.

And so I did this show and I was understanding, you know, it's a big opportunity for me, first time. And I went out before the cameras were rolling

just for a preamble and I said, look, this is very exciting for me, please. They're filming this. So if you can, just stay in your seats. Don't get up unless you really have to.

Obviously, don't piss yourself or spit to yourself. Just, you know, whatever you'd expect. And then went out, performed the show. It went pretty well. And I was backstage having a drink with the whole production team, breaking my cardinal rule of not associating with or acknowledging the production team. Of course.

You're famous for it. And someone said, okay, I'm going to go. And they went to leave. And then a minute later they came back and they said, just so you know, you made someone shit themselves. And I said, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, that's a very funny joke. And they said, no, no, you go out and look. So I went out onto the stage,

because the room had been cleared, and there were four ushers in sort of like the sanitary equivalent of PPE. They had like plastic all over them in their hands, and they put white powder all over the seat. And I said, what happened? And they said, someone filled their pants. But here's what I respect, is they didn't get up

and interrupt the flow of the show. Good, but you asked them not to, Guy. You asked them not to. They knew. If they stood up, the whole operation grinds, because it becomes a health and safety issue. Of course.

The whole operation grinds to a halt and then everyone looks at them, seven cameras in the room, and they're pointed at that person saying, this person has soiled themselves. So they just sat in it like a champion. Oh, my God. Everyone around them is watching your hour-long stand-up special

with the waft of faeces. I know. What I really want to do is before it comes out, I want to find this person and do a podcast. Yes. Because we have very different nights. Wow. Did nobody around them

smell it? I sort of sniffed around online conversations to see if anyone was saying as much. There were a few who were saying they were relieved the smell wasn't them but it's hard to draw the line between what sort of ironic posturing on the internet and people who were genuinely saying, oh, I thought I smelled, but it was someone else.

People sitting there, and they're not concentrating on your content, Guy. No. Well, they might have been for a minute. But yeah, it's an interesting thing. And the thing is, I wouldn't want to do this, but you could track back. We know the seat number. Have you reviewed any footage, any crowd shots

from one of the many cameras? I've not seen any of the footage yet. But, you know, obviously it's a crisis for this person, but what a marketing tool. Huge for you. Well, hopefully tonight at the seven days finale, no one, panel or audience, shits themselves. No, God, I'm gunning for Sainsbury's.

I'm on that point of course. Yeah, absolutely. Weak constitution, that lad. Weak constitution. Well, Guy, have lots of fun on the show tonight. Great panel, great times. It's been a great season. Thanks, Hayley. And I'd love to encourage you guys to just have a really good morning on the radio. Yeah, we will. Great panel, great times. It's been a great season. Thanks, Hayley.

And I'd love to encourage you guys to just have a really good morning on the radio. Yeah, we will. Just relax, enjoy it, you know, have some laughs. Thank you. And I'd also like to send my worst to everyone in the control room. Work harder. Suck it, guys.

They're acknowledging that, yeah, with a head shake. Yeah. Go on, Montgomery. Thank you. Thanks a lot, guys. So yesterday we flew from Tauranga to Wellington. And I will say, Fletch, you checked us in. And when I saw on my ticket that I was in 17B,

I thought, what a monster. I'm in the back of the plane. And you deserve to be at the front, is that what you're... I deserve to be at the front. Right, okay. I want to get on and I want to get off as quick as possible. Amateur though, because it's a plane that loads from the rear. Good for you. Yeah, so I'm all about I knew what seat and we were sitting next to

each other. We were. And then I had a little snooze for a bit. Yeah. You were also saved by the fact that you were wearing a mask on a plane because you don't see your open mouth. Like open mouth. You're an open mouth sleeper. Yeah.

And I woke up and looked out the window for a bit. God, it wasn't the view. Beautiful, beautiful view. Saw a maruapaihu there. Oh my God. Gorgeous. Anyway, so I looked over and then the woman in front, I noticed that she was reading a, what are they called?

A Kindle. I've got one. Yeah, a Kindle. Reading a Kindle. And as I want to do, I thought I'll just have a little nosy and see what she's reading, see if I recognize it. And then I thought, I saw the word thrust. I thought, oh my god.

She's reading a little bit of erotic fiction. Yeah. My favourite sort of fiction. I've actually rewritten the Lord of the Rings books with a real erotic. Have you? Okay. An erotic sort of take.

Yeah, yeah, slant. I think we call it in the literary circles. Okay. Enough to not be sued by the Tolkien estate? Well, I haven't published it yet. It's just a free PDF. Oh, right. So it's fan fiction.

Flick it my way. It's fan fiction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you know, I just changed out words. Yeah. Like Legolas shot his arrow has changed to something else. Shot his arrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. I mean, you laugh, but that's that's how 50 shades of gray became a thing yeah sure yeah it was fan fiction wasn't it well this one uh was slightly more subtle i saw the word thrust and i was immediately intrigued and then she turned the page as you do on a kindle uh and then i i did a big note on my phone that said you know because he couldn't bring it up i don't know how loud i am on a plane i I said, the woman in front is reading a sexy novel, I think, in a couple of spaces. And then showed me, and I was like,

and then I could see the Kindle, but I couldn't see the words, so I, in a complete invasion of privacy, took a photo on 2.5, zoom in. Yep, zoomed in. And, oh my god, did we get some... Well, I just want to share it, you have got half of her head in it,

so it's cutting out some important detail. Well, yeah. I've got a background in erotic literature, so I'm more than happy to fill in the blanks. Well, here we go. Yeah, right. Her chest and burrowed as deeply as she could. Did a little up.

He laid his hand on what he hoped was her... Bum. There you go. Something or rather her name. She surprised him by bolting upright with enough force to knock him on his ass and... Donkey.

You're really good. I don't know because you're not telling me what the next word is. Well, it was hard because we only got half the Kindle because her head covered it. If I'm going to fill in the blanks, you've got to give me the before and the after. Now, I've got a sort of a sentence there.

She blinked. Now I'm thinking this is Belinda Blanks after. Now, I've got a sort of a sentence there. She blinked. Now I'm thinking this is Belinda Blanks. Belinda Blanks from My Dad Wrote a Porno. It does sound very similar, doesn't it? I don't believe it is. She blinked, but something rather him confident. She was aware of him. He pee, starting with a P.

He pee something inched closer and clapped her lightly on the head. He pee something. He perched. He perched. He... Head. He peed something. He perched. He perched. He perched. Perched on the edge of the bed, maybe inching close and clapped her lightly on the...

You don't expect when you're on a plane... Wobbly bits. You don't expect... Woman like that. You're on a plane, the lady in front of you is getting all horned up reading a novel.

Well, when he clapped her lightly on the wobbly bits and watched her spine go rigid, he kept his palm flat and waited. Have you ever shaken your unloved one's wobbly bits? They go very rigid. Oh, very rigid. What are you doing?

Well, Phoebe breathed in deeply. And there's another bit where Phoebe shivered hard. I could not believe it. I was like, there were people on the plane just, you know, listening to music or working on their spreadsheets on their laptops. And this woman is reading. She's getting all hot and bothered. Yeah.

Good for her. Yeah, good for her. She doesn't read what you want. Yeah, good for her. Yeah, but I mean, you're not allowed to like flick through a playboy on a plane, are you? No. No. This is art. Because it's the written word. Because it's literature. Yeah, but I mean, you're not allowed to like flick through a playboy on a plane, are you? No. No. This is art.

Because it's the written word. Because it's literature. Yeah. This is just pictures. Well, good for her. I'm going to Google Phoebe and Shivering Hard and see if I can find the book. And try to get a copy of this book. Because you were looking for a book yesterday for your upcoming holidays.

I was. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we want to know this morning what you've seen on a plane. What was something you saw on a plane that you were like, I don't believe this? I love being nosy and looking at what

the person next to me is doing on their screen. Do you remember that time I was sitting next to a lawyer and she had printed out her clients, I'm assuming exes' Facebook messages and was just going through them, highlighting bits and just turning them. And she had like a ream of them. And I was just like, oh, so juicy.

That's juicy stuff. That's juicy, man. Yeah, juicy stuff. I've pried into Zespri. I was sitting next to that guy from the Kiwi Fruit place. I got some inside goss on the Chinese gooseberry market. Yeah. Okay.

And recently looked into someone that was on the plane with us too, Tauranga. Found out all of his details. I've got all his background story now. Oh, yeah, because he wasn't. Yeah, okay. Oh, okay. We won't go into why he needed investigating, but he needed investigating. Right.

He had an exemption form. 0800-DARLS-AT-M. We want to take your calls. You can text as well, 9696. What did you see? What did you spot on a plane? Yeah. I watched Brokeback Mountain on a long haul and was like, oh, here we go.

We all know what's coming in this bit. But see, that's like nothing compared to some of the shows, you know, like if you get an HBO show, like Game of Thrones. Yeah, full frontal nudes. Yeah. And you're watching that on the plane and you're like, ah. Ah, cover, cover. So we want to know what you've seen on a flight. Have you been peeking on someone's screen or seen something a bit weird or unusual?

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. So many calls and tears. Let's go to Sophie. Sophie, what did you see? Hi, guys. So I was on an international flight pre-CO, and I, you know, tootled to the toilet and I saw someone near the back of the plane trimming their toenails.

Oh, yuck. No, you do that pre-flight. You do that before you leave. Yeah, you do that outside too because they'll pang off sometimes and you can never find them. Oh, yeah. Even when you do that at home, they do pang off. They pang off.

And you're like, where has that gone? Yeah. Sophie. That's feral, Sophie. Thank you for. They pang off. And you're like, where has that gone? Yeah. Sophie. That's feral, Sophie. Thank you for your call. Jen, what did you see on a flight? I was on a flight to Invercargill last year to the Oyster Festival, and I was sitting next to a middle-aged man who was texting explicit messages

to his sugar baby, and it wasn't sugar baby because she was calling him daddy and thanking him for the money for the manicures and things. Daddy! And then I spent the whole weekend, we stayed at the same hotel where he met his wife, his adult friend, her partner, and we just kept bumping into each other the whole time. No!

Scandal. Wow. That is so scandalous. Thank you for your call, Jen. Someone texted something similar like that, didn't they? Yeah, they were sitting on a plane. They had a lovely chat to an older man. You know, he told them all about his wife and his kids.

And then during the flight, he had his phone open and he was messaging and booking an escort for when he got to his destination. Yeah. Right. I mean, that might have been in his agreement. Who knows? Oh, my God. There's so many horrendous ones. I sat next to a guy on a flight to Auckland, and he was reading very, very confidential

and graphic information about a case that's currently in the news. Oh, okay. Oh, that's good. It was horrific, but I couldn't also not read it. No, you have to. Yeah. He was also writing a speech. He was drafting a speech like he was going to be addressing a board or an association.

Oh, wow. Probably not the sort of thing you should do, like, out in the open on a full flight. No. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Hey, you on the phone, I bet I can guess your mum's name. What just happened? I just saw a polystyrene box fall over,

and we're opposite the fish market, and when it started to fall, I was like, I'm about to see fish go everywhere, but it was empty. Oh, bugger us. Which is great for them, but a damn shame for us. I would have liked to have seen that. All right, today broadcasting the show live from Wellington, it's I Better Can't Guess Your Mum's Name.

Vaughan, you're going to have five questions. And I don't know if your psychic abilities will be hampered by the fact that you're not in studio where you normally are. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Maybe that's the key. Maybe that's the secret. At that spot, there's a spiritual junction. A portal.

Yeah, a portal. A strong point, a beacon of spiritual energy that enters me. Hayley, we have Heidi on the line. Good morning, yeah. A portal, yeah. A strong point, a beacon of spiritual energy that enters me. Hayley, we have Heidi on the line. Good morning, Heidi. Morning. Hi, Heidi. All right, Heidi, hi. Heidi, hi, campers.

Don't do that. I've heard that before. Yeah, there you go. Heidi, hi, campers. All right, now, Heidi, we've got five questions for Heidi about her mum. I do, yeah. You're using the Nomi Hotels pad there. I am, yes.

That's lovely. They give you a pad. Great pad. Nomi says, don't stay within the lines. Yeah, good. But it's unlined. Yeah, good. That's what I like about them.

They make you think. Wacky. Okay, question number one for Heidi about her mum. What's your mum's favourite animal? Oh, goodness. I don't actually know if she has one, but I'll just say birds. Birds.

Does she have birds? She's got a bunch of bird feeders, so we'll go with that. Oh, she loves birds. Does she shoo away the thrush or the blackbird from the bird feeder? I'd love to put a bird feeder up for the tuis, the kitadu.

Yeah, it's tuis. They've got a couple of corphi trees. Oh, God, they lap it up, don't they? Is she like a cat or a dog person? We have a cat, but I think it's more mine from prior to leaving home. Right. I love that. So you've abandoned it.

Okay, so mum's a native bird. She's got big native bird energy. Yeah. Is that kind of helping you, Vaughn a native bird. She's got big native bird energy. Yeah. Is that kind of helping you, Vaughan? Do you know any mums with native bird energy? Paula. Put Paula because Paula loves a ketidu. God, Paula loves the ketidu.

Paula Bennett did love the ketidu, didn't she? Paula loves a ketidu. The Tom Sainsbury version of Paula loved the ketidu. I'm not sure of Paula Bennett's actual thoughts on the ketidu. Tui's. Tui. I think Ruby Tui. Ruby. Ruby there. Just ketidu. Tui's. Tui. I think Ruby Tui. I've got a Ruby there.

Just, you know, word association there. Tui. Sparrow. Spoozan. Spoozan. Samantha. Susan. Susan.

My gosh, Susan. Susan. A Deborah? Do you reckon a Deborah would love Native Birds? Debs would probably be all about Native Birds. Debs puts some bloody bird seed out, doesn't she? Debs. Maggie. Margs. birds. Debs puts some bloody bird seed out, doesn't she? Debs. Maggie, Margs.

Maggie, I think Maggie, Barry. Or Maggie Pie. Maggie Pie. Mag Pie. Maggie. Okay, I will put Maggie. I will put Maggie. I was thinking Maggie, Barry

and I was thinking those birds would muck up her garden so she'd be out there with a gun shooting them. She'd have a BB gun. She'd be lying like a sniper. Don't put a Gareth.

Gareth hates cats. But loves, because he loves birds. Oh, he does love sniper. Don't put a Gareth. Gareth hates cats. But loves, because he loves birds. Oh, he does love birds. So what is the female version of Gareth? Garetha. Garetha. Garetha. Garetha.

Now that's about the same as Gareth, but with an A on the end. Garetha. That is a terrible name. Garetha Franklin. Yeah. Fantastic artist. Yes. Okay.

Next question, Vaughn. Does your mum have the same name as anyone that's been on Shortland Street? I'm going to say no, but I've watched like three episodes of it, so. Yeah, okay. See, this is, I feel, when did you watch your three episodes? Oh, recently. So she's not on the recent season. Yeah, okay.

I'm worried. I think that might be a wasted question. Really, that's a dud. I was of the assumption that everyone loves our soap. So you think she could be a Waverly? Could I leave? And she tells you no because then you'll know the name and I can read you like a book. Yeah, I guess I scrapped that.

That's a terrible question. You've blown that. You've really blown that. Scrap that question. Okay, next question. Does your mom like fish? Did you ask this question because you can see the Wellington Sea market? Correct.

Yeah, and I was looking down there. There's some beautiful fillets if you're in Wellington. Yeah, there's some good girndad out there right now. There's some beautiful fillets. Fresh from the ocean. I would change. I will tell you this. Yeah.

I've just fizzled and it turns out my mother was on one of the seasons or someone with the name. Oh. Donna. Donna. Donna. Donna. Donna. Waverly. We've got to go.

This is a clue within a clue. She said back. So old. Yeah, Donna. Yeah, right. Donna. Barb. Donna. Marge.

Barb the boister. Who was Barb? Barb the receptionist. Barb the receptionist. That was Kirsty. No, no, no, no, no. Like older. Barb. Yeah, Barb. Oh, she wasist. That was Kirsty. No, no, no, no, no, no. Like older. Barb.

Yeah, Barb. Oh, she was a mum. Yeah. Or she, Barb. Now, who did... Who did Robin Malcolm play? Alan. Alan, you put down Alan.

This is an absolute... Because I'm a huge fan of early... What was Geraldine Brophy's character? Big red hair. Yeah, what was her name? Geraldine. You're going to have to Google, yeah, that one, because that's a classic Kiwi name.

There was a Tiffany. There was a Tiffany. She was with Chris back in the 90s. Yep. Oh, Rachel. Rachel, of course. Yeah, Rachel McKenna. No, Geraldine was...

When you say this name, I'm going to remember. I'm going to be like, damn it, of course. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Give me a moment. We can move on. No, we can't move on. We simply cannot. I mean, it's every name has been on Chorland Street,

hasn't it, really? For God's sake, Moira. Moira! Moira! You watch it. It's going to be Moira. Oh, Christ. It's going to be Moira. She was a legendary character. Oh, you're just iconic. Wasn't she? You call her a Rani or a Lionel?

No. What was Marge, Jenny? Oh, Marge. Bless Marge. Yeah. She was a lovely. I do feel like maybe Marge is a little bit too old. All right, next question.

Did your mum like fish? Yep, she liked fish. Does she have a favourite fish? I'm assuming you mean to eat, and it would be salmon. Salmon. She's a rich woman. She's a salmon. Full of omegas.

One, two, three, four, five, and six. So what mums do you know that loves salmon that that have a rich mums colleen colleen colleen's a rich name a rich name for a rich lady who loves okay herbs on the top we're gonna check out diane and diane yeah i'll put a die i'll put a diane on the list yeah colleen diane i don't know if these were names on Shortland Street, but again, Shortland Street's been running for 30 years. It's got to have been, yeah. Probably. Is mum, to heat the home, is mum a fire lady or a heat pump gal?

She's got both. She's got a fire with some ducting systems that goes to the rest of the house, and then she's got little air heaters for the upstairs rooms. She's bi-heatual. Yeah, she's bi-heatual. She's bi-heatual. Yeah, she's bi-heatual. She's bi-heatual. She'll take it from either source. Also, a mum that's just running all these heating options.

It's very unlike mums. No, this has got Christine all over it. My mother won't be cold. Yeah, right. She gets it from her mother, who would not be cold. She's worked too hard to be cold. She works, yeah. Okay, you're putting a Christine on the list? Yeah, I've always got a Christine on the list.

You know what I haven't put on the list? I haven't put a Karen on the list. Oh, always got to put a Christine on the list. You know what I haven't put on the list? I haven't put a Karen on the list. Oh, always got to put a Karen. Karens don't like being cold. That's for sure. The cows come home. They will. I'm going to put a Linda, actually.

Lindas don't do well in a cold environment. Yeah, I'm sitting. And finally, what are your mum's siblings' names? Should she have any? Erina, Julie, Kate, and Regan. Oh, okay. Is Regan a boy or a girl? It's a boy.

Regan's a boy. Okay. I'd like to hear Regan. Yeah. Regan, Regan. Okay. Quite young. Quite young sounding.

Yeah. I think your mum. You've gone too old, haven't you? Well, I was going to ask your mum's age after the Shortland Street debacle. Yeah, right. Well, you've run out of questions. It's tough. Well, no.

Yeah, I have. You just blew your load on that Shortland Street question. Yeah. And stupid fish question. All that gave us was Moira, which I truly don't think is right. All right. Well, Vaughan, you've had your five questions. Yeah.

You now have 15 seconds to try and guess Heidi's mum's name. What was Grace Palmer's character on Shortland Street called? Quick last edition. Does anybody have that for me? Grace Palmer. Shortland Street. Also, what was Kimberly Crossman's character on Shortland Street called? Lucy.

You do Kim. There's a Lucy, there's a Sophie. Yeah, okay. Oh, she was Lucy. Yeah, Kim. There's a Lucy, there's a Sophie. Yeah, okay. Oh, she was Lucy. Yeah, okay. All right, okay, well, 15 seconds to try and guess Heidi's mum's name. Now, Heidi, if you hear your mum's name,

yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Your time starts now. Jane, Paula, Ruby, Susan, Debs, Maggie, Garetha, Donna, Marge, Barb, Jenny, Tiffany, Rachel, Teresa, Carmen, Rebecca, Moira, Colleen, Diane. Which one? Carmen. Teresa Healy played Carmen on Charlotte Street.

Yeah. Ah! There you were, saying it was a stupid question. Where was the key to the treasure? Teresa Healy. Because I wrote down Teresa and Carmen because I couldn't remember what was the actress's name and what was the character's name.

But as soon as I said Carmen, I pictured St. Teresa herself. Yeah, right. Teresa Healy. Wow. Okay, well, you have won $100 and you have also triggered the bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name.

It's one guess for the dad's name. $100 extra if you can do it. It has been done before. Well, also, well done on Carmen. Teresa. I'm a big fan of Teresa Hewitt. Carmen and Guy Warner. Chris Warner's brother, Guy Warner, was played by that super handsome fellow, Craig Parker,

who used to be the voice of the National Bank. Yes. Craig. The big black stallion, they called him. Craig and Carmen? Craig and Carmen? Could be a Craig. Who's Craig?

Gareth, Gary, John, Tim. You're always pushing for a John, aren't you? They're the classic names. There's a lot of Johns the classic names John, Tim So every second You haven't guessed both my parents middle names Wow Okay

So Craig John No John's the middle name for sure What are you thinking Steve What about a Steve born Steve or Dave Steve John yeah David and Carmen thinking? Steve? What about a Steve-born? No, you wouldn't be a Steve-John. Steve or a Dave? A Steve-John, yeah. David-John. Dave and Carmen? Dave and Carmen. Oh, I like that. David and Carmen.

David and Carmen. I think you've landed on it. David. David-John. DJ? Yeah, right. DJ. DJ. Could be Peter-John. This is Dave and Carmen's girl, Heidi. That all flows pretty nicely. You want to lock in that then? Yeah, I might go for a Dave today, I think. We might go for a Dave. Okay, Heidi, Heidi. That all flows pretty nicely. You want to lock in that then?

Yeah, I might go for a Dave today, I think. We might go for a Dave. Heidi, what is your dad's name? My dad's name is Colin. Oh, Colin! Colin! It makes so much sense now. Colin. Yeah, of course it is.

Colin and Carmen. Hey, well, we didn't guess dad's name, but you have won $100 because Vaughn has correctly guessed your mum's name. Congratulations. Awesome. Thanks, guys. Just proving that Vaughn...

I didn't think you'd get Carmen. Yeah. Yeah, neither did I. That's good. Neither. It must just be the fact that you're in Wellington. It was the Shortland Street thing. Yeah.

I don't even know why Shortland Street popped into my mind. But you did it. You did it. From the capital city. Psychic abilities work anywhere in the country, it appears. I can't explain it. Gift. I can't explain this gift.

This gift, this curse. Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvorn and Hayley, it's time for... Fact of the Day, Day, Day, Day, Day. Pepe this morning It was Pepe Yeah Well I think it's the acoustics Of the

Nomi boardroom It is Little Pepe in the step I I just realised I haven't watched The Crown Neither I've seen the first season

And then I was like I mean we know what happened yeah you kind of know what happens yeah but maybe this would be a fact that the watches of the crown might already know it's that Prince Philip's nickname for the Queen was cabbage oh I don't remember that from that you know that hello cabbage what cuz what did she call him was she after he passed she addressed him by oh that's right yes he did yeah yeah um he called her cabbage uh speculated to come from the french phrase a french way of saying my darling, but it'll also mean my little pastry puff.

Love is alive. Well, not alive. Well, you did now, but it was. Half alive. Have we heard of the Queen's going this week? Well, not yet. I've been very concerned. There's been a lot of concern that she's, yeah, has definitely gone downhill a bit.

Is she at death's door yet? Still amazing for her age. Yeah. So, yeah, she was a little pastry puff. In this article that taught me about cabbage, as Prince Philip referred to the Queen as his little cabbage, apparently Prince William calls Kate Middleton Poppet. Okay.

And Kate calls him Babe. Oh, yeah. Babe's normal. Poppet's gross. I don't like poppets. What did you call your fiancé the other day? What does he call you? Oh, he'll hate this.

Bean. Bean. Bean. Yeah. You're Bean. He's Bean. He did it the other day because we were at Countdown. We got lost.

Yeah. And then he just here, Bean! And he was like, that's silly to yell, isn't it? Yeah, it's not quite as romantic as a softly whispered Bean. Was he in the Bean aisle, though? No. People could have just... Yeah, could have thought, we need Bean! Yeah he was like, that's silly to yell, isn't it? Yeah, it's not quite as romantic as a softly whispered bean. Was he in the bean aisle, though? No. People could have just... Yeah, could have thought, we need beans!

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Or just singular bean. Yeah. One bean. Poppet's what you call like a grandchild. Yeah. Hello, Poppet.

And then she calls him babe. I didn't figure she had big babe energy. I guess she does. Maybe a hon. A bit of hosh for babe. Dahl. A hon. A hon.

Yeah. Yeah. Or a hun. Or like for babe. Dal. A hon. A hon. Yeah. Or a hun. Or like your wife, Sharts. Sharts or mate. I call all of my, like my daughters, I call them mate as well. I was like the other day, Indy helped me. Hey, thanks, mate. I really appreciate that help.

Sharday's like, you call us all mate. I'm like. I hate mate. Only my nearest and dearest get mate status. I hate the idea of calling a romantic partner mate. Whenever Aaron calls me mate, I'm like, don't you dare. But it's the very origins of

the term mate. You're mating. You mate with them, don't you? Sometimes, yeah. You're mate for life. Every now and then. What do you reckon? Three times a month? A year?

Don't ask this guy. He's still fresh. Every now and then. What are you rocking? Three times a month? A year? A year. A month? Don't ask this guy. We don't try to count. Don't ask this guy. He's still fresh. I will throw this apple at you. I thought you were just going to change. It's not alright.

That's you, the audience. So today's fact of the day. Why weren't you at karaoke last night? Anyway, we can talk about that later. Didn't he spill? I thought he spilled something on his t-shirt. He spilled something, all right. It was a weeknight, you disgusting man. Anyway, today's...

There's nothing sacred in this group. There's nothing sacred. You would think not. You would think not. I'm just saying we couldn't do the full S Club 7 because there was only six of us. There was only six. You really let us all down. I let the team down and I apologise.

You are our Joe. I had to come back and get my jacket. He is Joe. He's big Joe energy over here from S Club. Absolute Joe. Very cold in Wellington last night. I had to come back to the hotel to get my jacket. Oh, that's right.

I thought it was changing a shirt because you spilled some. I don't know. Yeah, no, and I changed my shirt. You've got to get your lies straight. You're changing a T-shirt. You've got to get your jacket. Oh, that's right. I thought it was changing a shirt because you spilled some and I was the Yeah, no, and I changed a shirt. You've got to get your lies straight. You're changing a t-shirt.

You've got to get your lies straight. Today's fact of the day is Prince Philip's pet name for the Queen was cabbage. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Now, people are not happy with Drake.

Okay. Now, I believe he's a singer. Is it because he won't start writing bangers? Banger after banger after banger. It could be great if the guy missed once. He's just hit, hit, hit, hit. That's the only one I know. Hayley's finding Banger's Bingo

quite a learning experience for all the songs aren't you people keep saying to me what was that what was that artist and I'm like Doja Cat

I'm like no it was Justin Bieber yeah music's not your forte you're more of a classical musician yeah I'm only to chat you know

I'm not here to know about the music yeah but people are not happy with Drake there's some dash cam footage which is my favourite kind of footage

yeah I love a dash cam the Russians love a dash favorite kind of footage. I love a dash cam. The Russians love a dash cam, don't they? The Russians love a dash cam. Well, it's so crazy there. It's the Wild West. People just deny it. So you've got to have the footage. Yes, I've got a dash cam.

Do you? Yes, but it doesn't have a card in it. I need to put a card in it. Oh, put a card in it. Because then if you have a crash. What's the deal with dash cams? Do they program themselves like they record over themselves? I think so, yeah.

Unless you're like, emergency and you hit a button and it saves it off or something. Yeah. Okay, that's cool. Yeah, right. I'd love to get a dashcam, but it would just be how bad I am at driving. And then if you have an accident and it's your fault, you delete it. It wasn't working. Nah, it wasn't on.

It's much like the police with body cams. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oops, that's turned off. Anyway, so this dashcam footage shows someone driving along a very busy street. I'm not actually sure where they are. It looks like Melbourne to me, but I don't think it is. LA, I imagine. Yeah, right. Driving along the street, and there's a car that kind of cuts in from the side.

It just like cuts in front of them. And then in the video, the person's like, what the hell? Who the hell is this? And you can just see very carefully in the back. It's Drake. Oh, wow. And then his security people are in the truck behind, and they try to cut in as well to get in front of this person.

And the person's like, absolutely not. Who do you think you are? So they just keep driving behind Drake's car now. Now, they come to a little pedestrian crossing, so they stop. And then the car behind kind of takes over and starts to like nudge the nose in so they're behind and then one of the bodyguards

gets out and just like puts his hand up and goes like stop and just stops them. Drake must be protected. In the middle of the road and the guy's like who the hell do you think you are?

And the guy starts yelling them like Drake! He'd have no authority to stop them. He's like a bodyguard. You can't just get out of your car and go, I'm just going to stop traffic. Yeah, although that is a good tip. I've done that before.

You just flip your wallet open and if you're just walking across the road, you just look like a policeman. Yeah. Yeah. I actually have a police uniform, so I just dress up like one. Yeah, but yours has the ass cut out of it. Yeah. But, you know,

multi-use there. You've booked Sydney Pride for the next time. Yeah, you've booked Sydney Pride. It's costume. Yeah, yeah. Uniform. Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, everyone's like the audacity to sort of get out and think you can stop traffic because you're a celebrity. All because you're a celebrity. And this is what we wanted to ask. Have you ever had a celeb cut in?

Absolutely take liberties. Like cut in line. Anna, do you want to tell your story? Don't be scared of Tony. Don't you be scared of Tony Street, Anna. I'll tell the story. You're in so much trouble. But it's not Anna's fault.

She just witnessed it. And other people do too. She's the nation's darling. She's the nation's darling. Not for long she keeps carrying on like that. I'll have a word with her. I'm not scared of Tony Street. We've got beef. Historic beef.

Wow, you've got beef now. I was supposed to be the Commonwealth Games reporter for one year. In swoops, Tony Street. I was supposed to be on 7 Sharp with Mike Hosking. In swoops, Tony Street. So she's cut in on your career. I was supposed to marry Matt, her with Mike Hosking in Swoop's Tiny Street. So she's cut in on your career. I was supposed to marry Matt, her husband,

in Swoop's Tiny Street. Jeepers. I was supposed to write a book in Swoop's Tiny Street. You were meant to do all those Ants of a New World in Swoop's Tiny Street. Jeepers. I was supposed to be hosting Coast Breakfast

in Swoop's Tiny Street. I can't really see you on Coast, Vaughn. Because of Tony Dam Street. Yeah, yeah. All right, well, we want to know when you've can't really see you on Coast, Vaughan. Because of Tony damn street. Yeah, yeah. Tony damn street. All right, well, we want to know when you've had a celebrity cut in on you, if it's a line or a restaurant or whatever. I'll 800-Diles-at-Emerson number and give us a call as well.

We're talking about celebs cutting in, using their fame to cut the line in life. Drake's cut in. Do you think it's just because they've just become accustomed to not waiting? They're always driven around. They're always flying around. VIP service. Yeah, they get everything.

When they want it. Yeah, and so when they go into a supermarket, they're not used to... I mean, there's no excuse for it. I'm not defending them, but yeah. Did you see there was an episode of the Kardashians where one of the... It's like 30 minutes is based around them going to the supermarket and they're absolutely tickled by it.

Because they don't do it. They don't go. Oh, wow. Yeah. I mean, you just couldn't, right? No, you couldn't. Yeah. We've got further details

on the time Hailey Sproul pushed in. Do tell me. It was her and Reese Matthewson at a slam poetry kind of gig of Brendan Greene's.

She pushed past me to get the good seats. It's okay, though. I'm over it. Well, you clearly haven't let that guy. I did push past, actually. I will. Right.

Okay, right. That's my friend on stage, not yours. He wanted someone that was going to give him something. Yeah, exactly. To support him. Yeah, right. If you look quiet, you're going to get pushed past. Absolutely no regrets.

Some other text messages in. Glastonbury a few years ago. Someone in their posse cut right through between me and my French crown. That's the caller. Oh, let's go to the caller then. I thought that was the caller we couldn't get. Oh. Oh, I've made it.

It's off to a meeting. I don't know who we've got here. Who's on the phone? Name yourself. Hello. Hello. Was that your story I started to tell there? Yeah.

Okay. It's so cringe. Yeah. So you take it away. You take it away. You take it away. You should have said that. You knock it out of the park.

We went glass debris a few years ago, and we stood in front of the pyramid stage for like hours waiting for this spot. And then we had all of our bags between us and someone and their whole group of people just trampled right through the middle of it all over our stuff. Who was it? Well, like, excuse me. And they ignored me.

And I was like, oh, you're so rude. And then they turned around with an Australian accent and were like, oh, sorry about that. And it was Kylie Minogue. Oh my gosh. Kylie Minogue. Of Kylie Minogue rosé. Of rosé. That's a top-selling rosé.

Yeah. Do you drink the rosé or out of spite will you not buy a Kylie Minogue rosé? Absolutely out of spite will not buy it. It's trash.

Trash rosé. So her whole entourage just on a mission On a mission Trampled right through Wow But then I find Always when celebs

Just walk around big festivals Like they need to have A big team around them Yeah you would She's tiny eh Yeah You should get killed She's taller than me

And I'm like 5 foot 1 Yeah I think she's 4 foot 11 4 foot 11 I think she's clocking in at under five. Is she? Yeah. She'd be lucky to even get on the roller coaster. Let me have a looky.

How tall is she? She's 1.52. That's like tiny. Oh my goodness. That is, isn't it? That's amazing. Kardashian tiny. Thank you for sharing.

More text messages in. Someone said that in 2008, their mate went to Key Street Countdown after work one day and there was one chicken breast left on the shelf.

She put her hand out to grab it and arm reached around in front of her. A man grabbed it and said yoink as he took it. Oh.

That man was John Key. John Key. John Key. Mind you, would you want to face the wrath of Bronner coming home without a chicken breast when you told her

you picked it up at lunchtime even though you totally forgot it? Yeah, no. Bronner wouldn't stand for that. Yeah, or maybe even he promised her he'd get it out of the freezer then he totally forgot

so he had to nip down to Countdown to get a chicken breast. I love that he made a yoink. Yeah, I would have him have it. I mean, that should be a rule, right? Someone's going to pinch something from you

as long as they say yoink. I go to that supermarket all the time. I don't see John down there, the former PM. Maybe not. Goodness, I thought he'd be a new welder. Maybe not anymore. To be honest, anyway. Sean Connery pushed in front of me at Heathrow Airport.

Sean Connery. Oh, you'd let him just to hear him say sorry. He's dead now, though, isn't he? I'm very sorry. Did he die? He died. He's dead. He's absolutely dead.

He died. He went absolutely dead. He died. He went to live on that island in the Caribbean. That's right. Well, that's where they were headed. They were both flying to the Bahamas. And both first class, I won a competition. And he just barged right past me. Well, they can tell when you've won a competition if you're in business class.

Yeah. I managed to bash. It's like when we got free business class. People knew we didn't belong there. They don't know what's going to sniff out the trash. Yeah. I managed to bash his head with my handbag when I finally got on the plane and sat behind him.

A vindictive strike upon the head of an elderly gentleman. Of James Bond. One of the best James Bonds. Someone said it was the 1980s. So if I could take everybody back to the 1980s. Murray and Lorraine Mextead tried to take our seats at an

Alison Moyet concert. Is that the most 80s New Zealand sentence I may have ever read? Wow. We were away getting drinks at the interval, and when we came back, they'd moved into our seats. Now, is she? I called security on Murray Mextead. And showed them the tickets, and then had security move them.

Is Lorraine still on the probiotic yogurts? She was peddling those for a while. Was that her peddling those? Yeah. Yes. Yes. I mean, isn't yogurt in itself probiotic? I'll just put that on the table.

Yeah, but they add more to it now. It's sort of ridiculous. Well, there's already billions in there. Yeah, but they add more billions. More billions. Yeah. Acidophilus. Acidophilus.

Acidophilus. Acidophilus. Snuffleupagus. Snuffleupagus. That's the one. A thousand million Snuffleupaguses. Did we even dip our toe into our Instagram responses? I nearly ran over Fletch one day when he jaywalked in front of me on Union Street in the city.

You are a chronic jaywalker. But the problem is there's no footpath. So I have to go across the motorway there if I'm walking that way. Okay. Or maybe avoid it. Clint Roberts once cut in front of me in the missus at a massive line at Beretta in Christchurch. This is big Clint energy.

Oh, yeah. Clint would do that. He doesn't care. Big line cutter. I didn't know this about him. Elijah Wood drove into me while I was riding my bicycle in the year 2000

while he was here filming Lord of the Rings. Dick. Dana said, Lord ordered a sammich after me in Topol but got it before me. So that's not Lorde's fault though.

She's just been getting priority services. She's been getting priority sandwiches for the last five years. A couple of reports of Taika Waititi

up to no good. Really? Just cutting in. No, but being nice. No, no, no. There's two of them. Taika pushed in front of me and my friend at Blueberries Inn.

My friend said, I don't care who you are. It's our turn next. And he didn't know what to say. Blueberries though. Delicious. Yeah, I can see why he just wanted. It's our turn next. And he didn't know what to say. Blueberry's so delicious. Yeah, I can see why he just wanted to get in there. He just wanted to get in there.

Yeah, I mean, pop around to the ramen place around the side. That ramen's the best ramen. I was waiting for a lift at university, and as soon as it opened, Winston Peters literally said, I'll take this one, and pushed through and took it and wouldn't let me in. That's big Winnie energy, though. He would do that. Big, big.

I cut in front of David Guetta for the last table at the VVIP at Ultra in Miami. He wasn't happy about it. That's from Tom. Tom, absolutely. What a play from Tom. And Tom will forever tell you that story. I bet you Tom would forever. I would. David Guetta. Amazing.

Thank you for sharing your messages. That is our show today from Wellington. We've been live at the Nomi studio in Wellington. Coming to you live direct from a hangover. Yeah. Vaughan's had the, you've had the executive suite at the Nomi. You love that, don't you? Yeah, roomy.

Yeah, it's gone straight to your head. It has. I'm out of control. I'm a maniac. But yeah, amazing place to stay. The staff have been looking after us this morning. So good. So good.

And if you're down for a weekend, it's the perfect location. It's very Wellington. Very, yeah. I'll say that. They're arty farty. Yeah. We love that in Wellington. Being arty farty.

We're very arty farty.