ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 31st August 2022

Episode Date: August 30, 2022

Top 6: AI Cat  Bit of the News!  Silly Little Poll!  It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. I got my head out this on the roof. I'm blasting my favorite tunes live. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. Hayley is back in studio with us. Kia ora, kia ora, kia ora.

Good to be here. And we've received an exciting little package. From Ireland. Yeah. From a place called Rat Oath. Rat Oath. It might be Rat Oath or something, but it's sp called Rat Oath. Rat Oath. It might be Rat Oath or something, but it's spelt Rat Oath.

Like you made an oath to the rats. Meadowbank Hill. I've got the exact address. I can see what the house looks like. Does the pack... That's creepy. Ah, brick wall. All brick over the top of the concrete.

They obviously wanted a couple of foot extra on the wall. What? Trampoline in the backyard. Comparing the address to another map that Fletch has opened. Well, no, so I was just on Facebook and Vulture, you know, the pop culture website. Yeah. I don't know why I follow them because they've got a paywall

and I always get sucked into their content. But this one here is, see a map of penis size across Europe. Wonderful. Have me look up Ireland. What's the black the bigger? Hang on, let me zoom in. That's black on the map. Hungary.

That's the biggest. Yes, 16.51 centimetres average. 16.5. Yeah, and so Ireland, let me zoom in here, 12.78. Good for them. Good for them. Good for them. What's that one that has no data?

No, Willie, it's just all ladies. Is that Belgium? Above Belarus. What's above Belarus? Oh. Yeah, right. Poland, 14.29. That's right, up there too.

Poland. Show me that map again. Political map of Europe. Which one's got no data? Below the little sticky out Is that Lithuania Oh right Yeah that's Lithuania

Right Lithuania They refuse to have Their penises measured I wouldn't open my door For somebody saying They wanted to measure my penis In a survey

Would you I wouldn't But I don't believe For a second you wouldn't Anyway this package This package has arrived This other package From one package to another

This other package From Ireland package to another This other package From Ireland This is a beautiful day in Ireland When this street view photo was taken What's in it? I don't know I don't know Treats

Fletch 1 and Hayley ZM headquarters 2 Graham Street That's us Gotta say the French are lying about this Yeah the French We should do a mailbag Segment on the podcast Right

Where people just send us weird and interesting things. It would give us something different. I don't know if we want to encourage people to be sending. That costs nine. What? Oh, yeah. No, no, no. That's a lot of money.

That's nine euros. Oh, my God. That's so much. That's a lot. Okay. You don't have to. I'm just saying maybe. Or like if you've got like someone that listens has got a little funny little business.

Yeah, or maybe you'll hear Vaughan mention today, maybe you've got a little tractor you can send Vaughan. Oh my God. Well, this is the other thing I keep getting because I've searched for little tractors. I keep getting targeted advertising for little tractors from Alibaba and they're like $400. I'm like, how is this possible? What's the shipping going to be from China? Oh, put it into your card and see what it says. It is a gift.

Let me read the note first. Okay. Hey, guys. Hey. Okay, so they mention what the gift is in the first. Don't give it away for us. I saw these, bleep, and thought of bleep. So here are some just in case they haven't reached New Zealand yet.

Love the show all the way from a little village called rat oath cometh ireland that's lovely bark on the day or it was your first date specific international podcast shout out oh lovely that's not irish though i was Or sort of like British farmer. No, unfortunately, that was quite good. It was all right all your wish. You thought you were doing like country, like Margaret. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's where you talk about your little tractors. I'm going to take the little tractor. Back in the day, I was your first date-specific international podcast. Shout out.

Anyway, I love the show. Hayley, you're a beautiful addition. I-L-Y, Debbie Andrews. I love you, Debbie Andrews. Thank you, Debbie Andrews. Now you Debbie Andrews Thank you Debbie Andrews Now I go back and tell you What Debbie sent What did she send us?

Do you know what would be great Again the cost involved I certainly don't want Anybody spending Money they don't have But it would be funny To get like Weird little things

Your country has That other countries don't have Yeah And then we can talk about The weird little things But don't also Don't get us in trouble Because what if they start

Sending drugs You guys don't have this thing. But the podcast I'm listening to is American, and they're talking about microdosing with edibles. Yeah. I was like, could you just order some of those and roll the dice on if they got on or not? No, because we've got all sorts of dodgy stuff.

The dogs, the dogs. Yeah, no, don't be doing that. White chocolate, white chocolate Smarties. Oh, you're loving that, Flair. Chocolate Smarties Thank you so much I just about threw one at you With the lid off

You did There's one for you One for you And then Oh there's two So the producers will be asked To fight to the death Oh yeah that's good stuff

Thank you so much Is Anna not here Oh there she is Uh oh She's hands on hips I was just about to say If Anna's not here She misses out.

I haven't had a Smartie for either. When's the last time you had Smarties? These are delicious. Thank you so much, Debbie. Debbie, these are yum. And actually, we were just feeling like a little bit of a naughty snack. We were just saying on our journey to health what we were going to eat. Snack.

Thank you so much, Debbie. Thanks, Debbie. I-L-Y. Those are yum. Ellie. And the whole thing Oh no Hold on Don't try to justify

That that's healthy to us One Fifteen sweets Equals one serving Jesus I've had three servings already That's only four percent Of your um

Daily sweets Daily recommended intake So Lovely Thank you Debbie Eat up Thanks Debbie Thanks so much Debbie

Top of the morning to ya Fiddly dee No that's offensive Oh okay sorry I highly recommend Intake. Lovely. Thank you, Debbie. Eat up. Thanks, Debbie. Thanks so much, Debbie. Top of the morning to you. Fiddle-ee-dee. No, that's offensive. Oh, okay. Sorry. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Sam.

Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. She's back in studio. Hi. Hi. I'm back in studio. Hi. Hi. I'm back. COVID be gone.

My taste is back as well. Oh, that's good. Now, was that scary when you lost that and you're like, this could be forever? It was more, yeah, like how long is this going to last? Because so many people

were messaging saying it lasted ages for them. So, not for me. I guess I'm still superior. You're better. You're better than them. Yeah. Got your box of stolen tissues.

Yeah, well this is... Are they hotel tissues, are they? Hotel tissues, yeah. Good stuff. And quite a bit in there. Yeah, good. Happy South, mate. Yeah, because the last couple of times

I've tried to steal hotel tissues, there was only a couple left and it wasn't worth it. Not worth it at all. Heartbreak, absolute heartbreak. You've got to get your money's worth from these hotels. When the company's paying and you've not paid a cent.

Exactly. Absolutely. Coming up on the show, the top six. Cat AI technology now exists, apparently. I want it. You can hold this thing up to your cat. Your cat meows. It tells you what the cat...

Surely each cat's got its own individual quirks. It's mainly the cat Surely each cat Has got its own Individual quirks It's mainly a tuning To your cat Is this another app That Sees and knows What your cat's saying You know those buttons

Have you seen the dogs The buttons for dogs Yes I love you Yeah Walk Yeah or food And you give it food

And then it knows That's the button It pushes when it wants food That would be annoying I don't think it's good I don't think my cat Would press any Food food food Push the I love you when it wants food. That would be annoying. I don't think that's good. I don't think my cat would press any of... Food, food, food, food, food, food, food.

Push the I love you button. Food, food, food, food. He doesn't have a button at 3am. My face is the button. The face is the button. Yeah, with his paws. So, yeah, it's not like that because I don't have to learn to use it. Apparently it's AI to understand your cat. So I've got the top six things your cat's trying to tell you today.

Alright, it's coming up in the top six. Next on the show, though, French authorities have cracked down using Google Satellite and AI. Sacré-Cœur. Oh, la, la. Mon Dieu. Tell you what they've cracked down on next.

It's a funny story. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, in France, it gets very hot. Tell you what they've cracked down on next. It's a funny story. Well, in France, it gets very hot. It does. And so, in fact, a friend... I mean, the world on a whole. Well, yeah, that's what a friend was saying. He'd just been in France,

and he's got some family that married, like, into, like, a French family. And so they were over there for a while, and they said it's never been this hot in, like, as long as I can remember. It was getting in like the late 30 degrees. The last time I was in Paris, I was there during a heat wave and I was wearing a pair of green pants and I sat down on a bench

and I stood up and my whole ass mark had soaked through the pants. And I had to walk. I was literally on the Champs-Élysées walking with his big ass. And destroyed a 14th century French oak bench. I did. With your sweaty ass. My butt sweats. Well, many people have swimming pools.

Or if you're French, how do you say this? Le swimming pool. Le swimming pool. Le piscine. Le piscine. Je suis nage à la piscine. Apparently, if you have a swimming pool in France,

you've got to declare it because they tax you. I don't know if it's a water thing or the councils or the government just want to make some money off of you, but for a long time, many people have just dug a hole in the backyard and chucked a swimming pool away. Oh, keeping it off the record. The French tax authorities, their version of the... It's because they boost a property value.

Permanently constructed pools increase property taxes because they boost a property's value. So it's like your rates go up. So people are dodging rates, basically, by having a swimming pool. Keeping their rates nice and low. So the French authorities, the L'IRD in France, took to Google satellite images and AI and had a computer program basically go through

before and after satellite photos. Sneaky. And find 20,000 undeclared swimming pools. What else did they find? Lots of like French naked people in their pools? It doesn't mention any reports of French naked people or like illegal sleepouts or carports. Oh, yeah.

Or anything like that. They were just looking for the piscines. Yeah, but apparently they reckon it's about $10 million worth of uncollected tax revenue from these 20,000 swimming pools. Do they have fencing laws as well? That's the thing in New Zealand, there's a whole lot of things about having a pool. You've got to have the fence all around it.

Shit, like if something went wrong in your pool and it turned out you'd done it all illegal-ah. L'illegal. L'illegal. That's what they say in France. You would be in. Just we illegal. Show much trouble.

Yeah. Show much trouble. So apparently the average 30-metre square pool costs only 200 euros taxes per year. Oh, sorry. God, my brain went 200,000. No, no. So that's just a fee for a pool.

That's not bad. No. If you've got enough money to have a pool. Yeah. That's a luxury item. Yeah. But so I guess you could like put a cover over it. And then when you like put a green like, you know, that fake grass,

you can just have plywood with some green fake grass on it. And then when you're not using your swimming pool, put it over the top. Have you seen those decks? Yes. That like, that's like, it looks like a deck and then it slides over. I don't know why, but I keep getting Instagram advertising for a pool with a motorised cover and I'm like, I don't even have anywhere to put a pool. I'm in an apartment.

Well, you need to dream bigger. I don't know. Do you know what I mean? Instagram's broken. It thinks I need a pool with a retractable cover. You've got that spare room. What kind of retractable cover? Like a deck.

So it's like a deck. They motorise and they go. Yeah, and then they move. But then knowing my likers, I'd go to all this extent to hide a pool and then just when I uncover it and dip in, that's when the Google satellite is overhead and takes a photo.

I remember this happening in Greece as well. It was a fact of the day about the people hiding their pools. So in the entirety of Greece there was only 324 households that said, yeah. So in the entirety of Greece, there was only 324 households that said, yeah, we have a pool. 300?

Because it was really heavily taxed. No, no, no, no, no. So when they did a satellite imagery upon further investigation, just in Athens' northern suburbs, they discovered 16,947 pools. At that point, you're so outnumbered. You know, you're not going to claw that back.

You might as well just be like, have your pools. Yeah. I'm pretty sure you can find like more than 300 places with pools on Airbnb alone, right? Yeah. If you were looking in Athens. They all have them. Somebody else said there's another way around it in Greece.

You have to pay more tax when your building is considered finished. So a lot of buildings have rebar sticking out of the roof so they can say, oh, we're adding another floor. The building's not finished. No way. But it's completely livable. You have to live with scaffolding. I couldn't do that.

No. I would do my head in. I'd have to cover it over with plants or something. The rebar. Well, you probably could grow plants up it because it would be wonderful stakes. Or vining. Vining plants. Yeah. Oh, then you've got a beautiful natural rooftop. La labar. Well, you probably could grow plants up it because it'd be wonderful stakes. Or vining. Vining plants.

Yeah. Oh, then you've got a beautiful natural rooftop. La la. It's 11 past six. Next on the show, a woman can't volunteer because she's missing something on her person. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

There is a woman, she's 60 years old and she wanted to, she's retired, but she wanted to do some volunteering at her grandkids' school. Okay. And where is she? France?

Are we still in France? She looks French. Let's say she's in France. But you have to get a criminal. I would like to know what quantifies a woman looking French. Like hot, healthy. And she's on a bicycle and it's got a basket and there's a breadstick in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a dead giveaway that you're French. It's like hot, healthy. And she's on a bicycle and it's got a basket and there's a breadstick in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a dead giveaway that you're French. Like effortlessly cool. Yes. And she's wearing a stripe shirt. Is she wearing a helmet? No. Moncton. No, where's Moncton?

Is it in Canada? Yeah, well, she's French-Canadian. I told you, that's why. Ah, okay, right. There you go. Yeah, yeah, there you go. French-Canadian. I told you, that's why. Ah, okay, right. There you go. Yeah, there you go. French-Canadian. She's eating poutine.

That's how you can tell she's French-Canadian. She's not just eating bread. She's eating... We're on a journey to health. Don't come in here with your poutine. You guys should try poutine. We try it. We can't.

Sticky gravy. We have it almost weekly. Chunks of curd. Chunks of curd. Who would have thought chunks of curd? Who would have thought that by curd. Who would have thought that byproduct would have been yum, yum, yum

with gravy and chips. Anyway, she wanted to do some volunteering but in Canada, you have to get a criminal record check. So she went to go get this check done with the police

and they were like, we can't do that. And she was like, why? And they said, because you've got no fingerprints. And she didn't realise but at some point in her life, she has lost her fingerprints. Like they've faded and gone and she just has bare skin.

Was she like, what was she doing? Was she pumicing something? Was she sanding? She said that she can think of no reason as to why these fingerprints had disappeared. And then what made it more complicated was, so they couldn't get a criminal record check because she didn't have fingerprints. They couldn't identify her. Right. And then the other issue was that she shared the same name as someone with a criminal record.

Oh, okay. Without the fingerprints to prove that she wasn't that person, they were like, you can't volunteer because you might be. And at this stage I'd be like oh that sucks. What did this person do? The other person with the same

name. Because surely if someone just had a little minor whoopsie daisy and then later in life they wanted to volunteer to sort of make good. But I think if you get a criminal record check, sometimes they're not making sure it's completely clean. They're just making sure that it's not disastrous, right?

You haven't had a crime that would prevent you from working at a school, for example. Anyway, she said that she's now, like, she got it all sorted, basically. She went through this entire process to identify herself and, you know, went through all the paperwork and whatnot, and she's fine, she can do it now. But she has no answers as to why she's got no fingerprints. I wonder, she mustn't have, because do Canadians have to do that fingerprint thing

that we all have to do when we go to the States? She may never have been. You know, you have to do each of your fingers, each of your hands. She may never have done that. So I've Googled that. I think maybe eczema was the answer. Yeah, there's a couple of skin conditions

that can lead to loss of fingerprints, with nonspecific dermatitis leading the list. Yeah. Your eczema, there's lots of them. Because I remember when I used to have horrendous eczema and it just disappeared for some reason. And you'd do a lot of burglaries, wouldn't you? I used to steal everything I ever wanted.

No, I used to use quite intense hydrocortisone and they always said to me, like, you have to wash your hands afterwards because hydrocortisone and they always said to me, like, you have to wash your hands afterwards because hydrocortisone is essentially like burning off layers of your skin. So it'll burn off your fingerprints. So it would burn off your fingerprints. And they told me a story about a guy

who wanted to be a surgeon, but he'd had terrible eczema and used hydrocortisone his whole life and he couldn't do it because he didn't have the sensitivity in his fingers to be able to use the tools properly. So what did he do instead? He became a radio announcer.

Vaughan Smith, everybody. Sorry to the world of medicine for not being able to save lives. I was the best at what I did. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley from the yummy ZM Think Tank. This is the top six. Hello there. Hello. Hello there. Hello. Hello there.

How are you? Entrepreneurs, good, thank you. Entrepreneurs looking to get Meow Talk, an app that can translate what your cat is trying to say into an app so you can have your cat meowing, which is always for food, and it will be translated. So at the moment, it's just an AI program. Meow Talk provided the most plausible translation.

Plausible. Momo meowed. I don't know how to describe a product. It's plausible. It's plausible. Momo meowed and then purred, which translated to nice to see you after I've been away for four days. So that added up.

Okay. And then let me rest. Let me rest, woman. Yeah. Stop patting me. Yeah. I'm about to scratch you. So, yeah, outside was another one, which they just, our cat does that thing where it sits on its back legs

and goes scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch scratch do you not have a cat flap yes we do oh useless cat yes we do

yes we certainly do ah so yeah this uh this cat scratch like this is and if you know like if your cat is

making a meow apparently you can log that as like the hungry meow like when you're about to feed it oh okay I'm about to feed my cat this is what the meow, apparently you can log that as the hungry meow, like when you're about to feed it. I'm about to feed my cat. This is what the meow sounds like. You're going to have to teach the app a little bit.

It can help. Right. It can help. You already know, right? That's what it means. But then, yeah, you do, but they're saying by it analysing what that means, it might be able to help other parts. Decipher when it's saying something different.

Yeah, decipher other parts of the cat's language. So I've got the top six things your cat's trying to tell you today. Number six, I do not give you permission to upload so many photos of me online. I would like, if you're going to do this, Vaughn, if you do the meow and then say what it means. Okay, okay. I do not give you permission to upload so many photos of me online and

I'm hungry. No, this is like on the news when you know they've taken a shortcut with the when they translate. The translation. The person was speaking for like a minute and then they go I'm really good, thanks. You're like, you've taken a shortcut there.

They're just cutting out the fluff. They're the news. They don't have time. Number five on the list of the top six things your cat's trying to tell you today. Meow. I did a poop in a pot plant. And I'm hungry. Yeah.

Because the poop was a big poop. Now I'm empty. I need more food. Number four on the list of the top six things your cat's trying to tell you today. Meow. Oh, I need more food. Number four on the list of the top six things your cats are going to tell you today. Meow. Oh, I know that one. I've scratched the back of the couch some more where you told me not to scratch it. Yeah.

And I'm also peckish. Yeah. Always. Could have a snack. Always, always, always good snack. Always good snack. Number three on the list of the top six things your cats are going to tell you today. Meow.

Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. There's a dead rat somewhere inside the house for you guys and I didn't eat it. So I'm hungry. We found a carcass on the walls yesterday.

It was a mummified, what, like a mouse or something? It was mummified, yeah. Who knows how old that thing is? So old. It's the minute you pull out an old house, yeah, and you pull down

the internal walls or put the jib off the inside an old house and you pull down the internal walls or put the jib off the inside of the walls. You remove the hessian lining. They love a hessian lining. Edible. Nestable. God forbid it caught a blaze. It would have been up. Hessian. What a beautiful building material.

Very flammable. Number two on the list of the top six things your cat's trying to tell you today. I just drank out of the toilet, a dirty puddle, then I licked my bum hole. Now I'm rubbing my face against your face. That's love. And I am hungry. Always hungry.

Always hungry. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six things your cat's trying to tell you today meow meow meow what bird are you

voting for in bird of the year this year I'll try to catch you one I won't eat all of it because I'm hungry

but not for that I want something else biscuits I want some of them yuck dry biscuits that I ate too fast of them and then

spew up in the biscuit log. I think if my cat Murray was an outdoor cat, he'd bring home some kereru. He'd bring home some big birds. Oh, you need to take on a kereru. He would, yeah. He always looks at the seagulls. I'm like, you're never taking down a seagull. It would be good if when you leave home

he jimmies up in the window and he does catch seagulls. Yeah. And he just cleans up before you get back. That is today's top six. Hey, did you know, reading this, that there is a break-in, a home break-in in the United States every 26 seconds? What would that be?

I mean, now it's crazy in New Zealand. I was reading a story about how, like, home security system, like, people searching for home security systems or buying them has just gone through the roof in the last, like, six months. Because it's so much fun to look on your app and see what your house is up to. But do they actually do anything? Like, do they stop them?

Yeah, well, it's a deterrent. You can video them and get their faces, but also they've got, like, sirens built into the camera. So you can be like, or you can even speak through the cameras and be like, I can see you. Put that down and it's gone. I'll give you a five-minute head start. You could say I'm calling the police.

And they're motion activated. So you know if you're with your phone and it alerts you. Immediately. You're immediately seeing someone's breaking into your house. So they're very good. So you could say I'm two minutes away. You better get the hell out of my house. I've got a shotgun.

Because I thought they were just these cameras. You're getting cool footage and you might get them afterwards. But the old school alarms, right? Like you break in and the whole house goes. Or you get the footage of people breaking into your house and everyone's like you can't put that online because of the privacy oh my god that person's personal that person's got a privacy

but they're stealing my television yeah I think they'll lose their privacy did you try speaking to them first? you can't do that they might have a family they might be embarrassed oh my god speaking of which did you see the video of those You can't do that. They might have a family. They might be embarrassed. Oh, my God.

Speaking of which, did you see the video of those West Auckland school kids stealing their, well, apparently their mates. It was like a joke on one of their mates, but they kicked down his letterbox and stole his letterbox on the way home from school yesterday afternoon? No. And it was like, it got put on the local Facebook page being like, does anyone know these boys? And apparently it was just like, yes, I know all of them.

Here are their names. So that got taken down. But then it got on Reddit. Oh, okay. And it was just people like. No rules on Reddit. And I'll tell you what, I'll admit it, as someone who in the 90s as a teenager knocked off a couple of letterboxes, their technique was past board. Oh, really?

What are we teaching these kids? It took them like a solid minute and a half to get the letterbox on. Oh, no. Amateurs. Did they drive past or did they do it on the floor? No, no. That's the other thing. Like, they were young.

They would have been primary school age. Yeah. But then the thing was, people were like, what about their privacy? It's like, well, I don't know. How does a person whose shit's been ruined feel about it? Yeah. Yeah. Well, this person who broke into this house of this story has no privacy.

So there was a guy in America who broke into a house and he was obviously going to rob them. And then lo and behold, the person who owns the house comes up behind them and he's filming them. And of course, this makes it to TikTok. And you can see the person's face. And he's like, can I help you?

And the guy's like, oh. And then, so the the person the homeowner said i won't call the cops yeah but you have to clean my bathroom and then they film this poor dude who honestly looks i reckon about like 17 18 years old yeah he wouldn't be very good no i'm not gonna clean the bathroom and they they show him cleaning the bathroom, and he's just this young dude, and he's got long hair, and all he's doing is complaining about the hair that's in the bath. He says something like, this isn't my hair. This isn't my hair.

This is your girl's hair. I'm not your girl or something. It's just this young little kid. What about his privacy? No privacy. They did a zoom in on the face. I reckon he's maybe like 15. But to be fair,

like have you ever cleaned out hair of, like in my situation, my wife's hair out of a plucker? That's gross. That's not a suitable punishment. Would you rather go to court? Would you rather go to prison for two months? I just wouldn't put it,

well, you'd probably have to go to prison for putting someone through that because it's a, you know, the punishment doesn't suit the crime. Well, there's a minimum sentence of five years in prison in America for home invasion. Okay, yeah, clean up.

So breaking and entering is when someone's not home, but it becomes home invasion when they're home, eh? When they're home. What if they come home after you're there? Because technically they're invading their home after you've invaded it. You're broken and entering and then you're being held captive. Wow. Sue them.

The tables turn. In America, always sue. It's just a bit of the news. Well, it's time for a bit of the news. We've found a feat of endurance. Ah, incredible. We've beeped out the important parts of the news story. We've censored them.

You've got to tell us what's missing. I thought, what a cool thing to do with a... I went 38 miles down the river without standing up in that... My knees still hurt. I've never been in a... going down the river. But I probably won't try this again. And if somebody breaks this record,

I will like bow down to them because they are tough. The beeps just make it sound all I can hear is swearing. Yeah. I was standing in this. Now this man is 60, by the way. Bear this in mind as we uncover this news. Matt, what has the man gone down the river on? I think he's going down on skis or maybe a board or something being pulled. Skis?

Okay, no. I will say he is propelling himself. That is, sorry, Matt, incorrect answer. Joseph, what do you think? Inflatable dog? Inflatable dog? Inflatable what? Dog. A doll. A doll.

A doll. A blub. No. I don't know if those would be... I don't know if that would lead to sore knees. Yeah, definitely. Wait, we're doing an experience, Joseph.

We're going to cut you off right now before it becomes problematic for everybody listening. Thanks, mate. All right, Strauss, what do you think? What's he going down the river on? I'd say a may, a paddleboard. Oh, a paddleboard. Oh, no.

It's not. I think that would be... Hard on the knees. Hard on the knees, but easier. Yeah, well, it makes more sense than that. Easier than this thing that he did, yeah. This took the knees but easier. Yeah, it makes more sense Easier than this thing than he did, yeah. This took a bit more prep.

Yeah, Strauss, thank you. Robert, what's he going down the river on? I think he went down in a pumpkin. He did, Robert.

He did go down in a pumpkin. He did go down the river on a giant pumpkin. Well, kind of in a pumpkin. He kind of dug it out

and made a little pumpkin boat. I thought, what a cool thing to do with a giant pumpkin. I went 38 miles down the river without standing up in that pumpkin. My knees still hurt. I've never been in a pumpkin going down the river.

But I probably won't try this again. And if somebody breaks this record, I will, like, bow down to them because they are tough. Can I clarify he's never been in a pumpkin before? Yeah, a giant. It is a giant pumpkin as well. Is he sitting on something in the rear or is he crouching? So he's sitting on a jelly bin.

He's sitting on a jelly bin. So he's in this giant pumpkin. The pumpkin he grew himself is 384 kgs. One of those pumpkins you see at like a world record pumpkin competition. He went down the river and set a Guinness world record 61 kilometres in the giant pumpkin. He was 60. He went down the river and set a Guinness World Record 61 kilometres in the giant pumpkin.

He was 60. He did it on his 60th birthday a couple of days ago. So I reckon this is a record. If we can find a stretch of the Waikato River. You could do this. But can't we grow big enough? Yes we do. We hold the world record for biggest pumpkins.

Do we? I don't understand big enough. Yes, we do. We hold the world record for biggest pumpkins. Do we? I don't understand how he's staying upright. Is he not? Are there any, what are those fins they put on panel boards and stuff? No, I don't think so. I think it's just the pumpkin's wide enough that you hollow it out. It would have been hard work balancing. And so he's got his life jacket on. He's sitting on the chili bed.

He's got a paddle. Safety first. Safety first. Because how big was his pumpkin? 384 kgs. So the New Zealand's biggest pumpkin, I know about this because it's a bloody moronsville. It's behind the town. It's a guy called Tim

Harris. He grew one 844 kilograms is his record. But was it a pumpkin or was it just a gourd? No, it was an actual, it was a recognized actual pumpkin. And he hollowed one out. He hollowed one out and floated in the lake at the Hamilton Gardens in one. I remember they did that when he set the record.

Yeah, they hollowed one out. Well, Robert, fantastic. You've won a little bit of the news today. And your prize, Bracey South, we're going to send you a pumpkin. Probably not that big. Jeez, man, pumpkins aren't cheap at the moment. They're not in season.

We'll find the biggest one we can at the supermarket, Robert. Congratulations. Winner of a little bit of the news. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I'm sorry if you heard screaming when you came back from that song. There's a ginormous seagull. Yeah. I don't know.

It looked like it was going to come through the window. Yeah, I think it must have landed on a tiny leech. Do you know what? Side thought, just really quickly. I was once sitting at a pub. It had a deck, and I saw a seagull catch a pigeon in the sky, and then it came down on the deck and ate it in front of us. It was too much.

Oh, yeah, they don't muck around. Birds eat each other. What? It was too much. And then the pigeon don't muck around. Birds eat each other. What? It was too much. And then the pigeon just like sat there stunned and then just got eaten. I saw a pigeon pecking at a dead seagull, so I mean it's ebbs and flows. Oh, table's turned that way, doesn't it? Yeah, it really did. Karma. Karma. What do they say about karma? I want to

talk about a guy who was so dedicated to his love of fishing. He's a fisherman, not by trade, but just that's his hobby. Yeah. And he got absolutely sick of having to return to the boat or bring out a tool to measure the fish to make sure that it was

you know, regulation. And not undersized. Because that's something I didn't know, but you go fishing, it's got to be a certain size, otherwise you throw it back. What do you mean you didn't know? I don't really know. I don't go fishing. What do you think, you're eating little baby, newborn fish? Well, I wouldn't eat a baby

but I don't know the sizes for things and the rules. Is it 29 centimetres for a snapper from snout to the middle of the V? See, I don't know. Is it? I think it's 29 centimetres. And then it's only illegal

if they catch you, right? Is that the... I mean, that's... You son of a bitch. That's how the law works. It's only illegal if you get caught. Okay.

Well, this guy, well, he's a stickler to the rules, obviously, because he wanted to make sure all of his fish were of size. So he got a tattoo from his ankle right up the top of his thigh of a ruler so that he doesn't have to measure it against the boat or against an actual ruler. He just holds it against his leg. But then do you have to be standing? Yeah, straight.

Completely straight, right. So he just kind of puts his leg out and like hangs it to the thing. And then that's a great, like that's handy. It's handy, yeah. Yeah. Though some people have pointed out that as we get older, we shrink. And your skin sags. Well, he'll have to pull it taut, won't he?

He'll have to pull it, grab it at the top, pull it taut, and then hang the fish there. Well, that's why, do you remember when I was 20 and I had like a six-pack and I got the New Zealand map on my stomach? Yes. And now it's just... It looks like England, doesn't it? Now it looks like England.

It looks like Australia. Yeah, it's really spread wide. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's gone quite wide. Stewart Island looks like a whole other country. It's gone all skewered. Stewart Island is the size of Antarctica at the moment. It's all out. Anyway, so yeah, he's got

this tattoo. It's on him for life. I don't know how he's going to deal with the fact that it is going to change, but I did want to ask how dedicated people are to their hobbies because that's dedication. It's a big tattoo. It's all the way up his leg. I mean, people get right into hobbies. Because that's dedication. It's a big tattoo. It's all the way up his leg. I mean, people get right

into hobbies. They spend a lot of money. I've got a marching tattoo. But I, yeah. It's like my team's dirk. Like a sword thing. Like a sword. Like a dagger.

Right. It was like part of the logo of my team. And did you get it when you won or something? I got it in Edinburgh, yeah. Like a sword Like a dagger Right It was like part of the logo of my team And did you get it when you won or something? I got it in Edinburgh, yeah Oh, right I got a tattoo at the tattoo So that's dedication I don't know if I've ever been

Oh, that's huge It's got a schtissel on the top It's got a schtissel on the top and a blade thing It's a thrusting dagger Right It's a thrust See, I don't know You're into hobbies, Vaughn But you don't go I mean, you get You've got a lathe You can just polish this all on the top in a blade thing. It's a thrusting dagger. It is. Right. It's a thrust. See, I don't know.

You're into hobbies form, but you don't go, I mean, you get, you've got a lathe. You got given a lathe. That's a hobby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you don't. Yeah, a bit of woodworking. It's like my brother-in-law has a, like a gaming room, but it's like, it also paints more hammer and. So it's a nerd room.

I wish I didn't bring this up. I got some things I need painted. I'm not good enough at the painting. We could go around to my brother-in-law Rob's house. Yeah. So he's got this painting gaming situation. Yeah. And then his wife who loves crafts, she has a craft room.

So they have a room each in their house for their hobbies. I would never be allowed a dedicated room in the house. Yeah. I'm too flash in the pan with hobbies. You know like I'll give it a go. You made that lovely cross stitch for Vaughan and I and then we just never got another one. And then do you remember when I got into model

trains and I remodeled my whole house to have a sushi train? Yeah. And I never use it. No. And now it's just sort of hanging there. With old bits of salmon on it. Yeah. Your partner left you. That's the problem. Because someone's got to load the sushi in the kitchen.

And then send it to the lounge. It's not as exciting when you do it in the kitchen, put it on the train, and then walk to the lounge. It's a sad, sad sight. And then all the good food was on the expensive plates. And that's how they get you. Yes. Because you don't want the dollar train.

Yeah. You want the $4 plates. But maybe you are so into trains that you have put up an entire set that runs the circumference of your house. Yeah. I like it when hobbies feed into other hobbies. Okay. Like people who do the trains,

then they have to learn how to do the painting, and then the painting, they have to learn How to do the painting And then the painting They have to learn How to do the woodwork And then the woodwork Upskilling Upskilling And then it's just

Constantly like evolving And these people get Down a rabbit hole on hobbies Maybe you have a whole room For your hobby How into your hobbies are you? 0800 DALES That M is the number

Give us a call now You can text as well 9696 How dedicated to your hobby Are you? We're talking about the length you've gone to to show support for your hobby, I guess. A fisherman's got one of those fishing rulers on his legs. Like right from the top to the bottom.

Like tattooed on. Is he thinking of catching a shark? What's he measuring the length of there? Well, the minimum fish length for a kingfish is 75 centimetres. Okay. Snapper, I said 29. It's 30 Auckland East and 27 out West and in the Kermadecs. Why is the West allowed smaller fish?

Hungrier. We eat more fish. Yeah. That's weird. That it's a few centimetres difference. Yeah. Well, either way,

this guy's going to shrink when he gets older. I'm going to tell you how long it's going to be. Groper. Is that a fish? A groper. Does it have another name?

It does, eh? What else is a groping? Harpooka. This game sucks. You suck at this game. You just said, hit me with a fish. Yeah. Oh, here we go.

No, it's up in the top one. No minimum length. But a daily limit of five. Okay, I've got another one. Sweet and chilli tuna. Or lemon cracked pepper. Tuna, the bluefish tuna, none, but you're only allowed one per active fisher.

What about a red Thai whole fish? What do they generally whack? A bit of a cod? Or a green curry. Yeah, green curry whole fish. Okay. Heave included. I'm going to be giving you a red gurn at that.

25 centimetres for the gurn. Is that with rice? Yeah, yeah, with rice, with rice. Sat on top of rice. Trevally, 25 centimetres. Tarakehi, 25 as well. Does salmon have a... No, these are just salt waters.

Right. Well, how dedicated to your hobby are you? You can text in 9696 0800 DALS at M. Dylan, how into your hobby are you? Yeah, pretty into it, obviously. Right, so what do you do? I'm a fully qualified mechanic. Oh, okay.

And so all about the cars. All about the cars. Love them. Wait, so your hobby is also your work. See, that doesn't work for me. Oh, I love. Love them. Wait, so your hobby is also your work. See, that's not, that doesn't work for me. Oh, I love it that much. Right. Don't act like you don't go home to your own personal radio

studio. Oh my God. I've got a little shortwave radio studio set up in the treehouse. I'm like, good afternoon. Good afternoon, QBO. It's your local radio DJ. How many cars do you have, Dylan? I have seven myself. Seven?

Is that like, what's the cutoff before you become a dealer? Well, legally it's supposed to be six, but that's only if you sell them. Yeah, and it's within a certain period of time, right? You're allowed to sell so many a year. So what kind of cars? Old cars, new cars, drift cars? Japanese cars. Japanese cars. Japanese cars.

Oh, okay. These have gone up. These 90s Japanese cars have gone through the roof in price. Have they really? What's your prize? What's your prize position? Yeah, what's the crown jewel? I have a 93 Toyota Supra.

Okay. I'm guessing that's northward of $100,000 now. The good ones are, but my one's getting there. Oh, okay. It's knocking up towards it. Wow. Geez. What else is in the collection? I have the 88 Toyota

Super as well, which is the model before. A V8 Lexus. A 1980s Cressida. Oh, how classic was a Cressida? It was a family. A family vibe in the 80 family. I don't know.

It was a family. We had a family vibe in the 80s. I've got a Mazda XLR, so take that. 2015, baby. Offer the right amount of money, Dylan. You can have eight cars. Yeah. Let us see.

Dylan, thanks for your call. Sophie, how into your hobby are you? Yeah, fairly into it. I should probably sell my belongings and buy a house, but I can't quite bring myself to it. Right, so what's your hobby? Horse riding. Oh, that's expensive, isn't it? That's expensive.

Yeah, she's pretty pricey operation. How many horses do you have? I have three. Oh, that's three horses. You need a wagon. You need one of those wagons so one horse goes at the front, two horses behind it, and then your wagon's behind it, and you run.

Yes. Ha! Yeah, so you have your three horses, and then they've all got to have their own little saddle, and then you have to have something to tow them in, which is fairly pricey, and then you have to have something to tow the towing machine with, which is also fairly pricey,

and then you've got to feed them and drag them all over. It's very expensive. And you've got a feed them and drink them all over. Do you have... It's very expensive. And you've got a bloody fine time to read the Saddle Club books. Oh, yeah, they're good books. And horse and pony subscription often, you know. Yeah. Magazine subscriptions, that is wild. Do you use that tail and mane shampoo?

Yes, purple shampoo too. Purple shampoo, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really got to get that gloss. We've not even talked about feeding them yet because they can't be on the grass all year round, can they? Well, I mean, they can, but you do want to feed them a bit more. Give them an apple. Sounds like you could probably have three houses instead of three horses.

And all that's gone up. Everything's gone up in price. So, you know, you're starting to wonder if you should sell one. But they're like your children, so you feel a bit guilty. You can't take your kids out the back and shoot them, can you? I don't know. Sophie, thanks for your call. Phil, also car-based.

How many cars do you have? Currently, I've got 21. That's too many cars. Jeez, that's OK. You're into your hobby. You're a car dealer. Can I ask first, do you have a partner? I do. And she puts up with a car dealer. Can I ask first, do you have a partner? I do.

And she puts up with a bit. She thinks I've got a disease, but she's starting to understand. I'm bringing her around. I like that she's not like he's got a disorder. It's a disease. It's a disease, yeah. Where do you park them? Sorry, say again? Where do you park them?

Well, we were actually looking for a rental property and the house next door came up for sale. So basically we bought that and I picked the fence up, moved it 90 degrees and then used the whole backyard and the 3K garage there and filled that up. Man, I bet the other neighbors were stoked. They're like, oh god,

at least the guy with all that crazy cars has two houses down. What's that? He's bought the place. Phil, thanks for your call. Some messages in. How into your hobby are you? I've got a big garden shed dedicated to my hobby. People are always like, what's in the shed?

It's all my camping and fishing gear. I'm a kayak fishing chick. Some of my favorite fishing rods and reels take pride of place just outside of the kitchen window so I can ogle over them as I'm getting ready. Ogle or ogle? Ogle. I think you ogle. Don't you ogle?

You ogle. You don't ogle someone. You google someone. You google someone when you want to know more about them. Yeah, but they ogle over their reels. Okay, fishy check. Yeah. My friend's dad Is really into Star Trek

When the kids moved out He's got a full room Full of figurines From floor to ceiling That's sort of obsessed Yeah One day I went round there

And he had purchased A life size model Of the Enterprise's bridge The part where they all sit And set it up In the rumpus room I think your wife Will divorce you

When the girls leave So you don't do Something like this. Yeah. Because that's going to be you, but with Star Wars. Yeah. We'll come over to just check that you're all right and you're getting some social contact.

You'll be like, guys, come look at the lounge. Leave me alone. I've got to go back and turn my head. My Millennium Falcon lounge. My wife and I play. Well, this is nice. This is a joint hobby. We play Warzone together and each of us have more than a month of total playing time.

We've also dedicated gaming rooms so we can use our headsets without hearing feedback. Call of Duty, Warzone? Oh, okay. Yeah, nice. People rave about that. A bit much for me. A bit full on, a bit brutal. A bit realistic.

Oh, is it? Game of flashbacks to my time in... Nom. Nom. Nom. Nom. But realistic. What was it? Flashbacks to my time in... Nah. Nah. Nah. Soviet Russia. Right. When I was into ballet dancing,

a group of our bored husbands got together and learned drumming to accompany the dancers. Oh, that is the sweetest thing. They got on the bongos. They called themselves Unfortunate Repercussions. Oh, yeah, that's nice. That's nice. Nice.

Bloody good. Look at that. But that's just a way of having a perv at your wife's hot mates, right? Yeah, yeah. It's the best. Yes. We'll come along and drum. Play.

ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. It's still a little pile. Play the intro for you. I was waiting for this song to finish. You damn fool. You weren't looking at me watching. Silly Little Po. Silly Little Po. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little

Po. Silly Little Po. Silly Little Po. Silly Little Po. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. Howdy. This woman online. This woman. This woman.

I get this. A female. Yeah. Has caused controversy online by calling for adult only flights. It may have been a jest, but she was sitting next to a crying baby for an entire flight, so she's saying maybe there should be adult-only flights. Do you think there should be adult-only flights? And, like, I've got kids, and I think adult-only flights are a great idea.

I don't get why people are so offended. You can still go on flights. Yeah. But with your kids. But it will just be other people who chose to travel with their children or, you know, pay whatever because I'm imagining there'd be a premium. I'm always amazed when it's a short flight on like a regional plane and it's somewhere they could have driven.

Yeah, like get off the plane. Get off the plane with this shitbag kid and drive and do us all a favour. You don't know their situation. They might need to get there in a hurry. Well, leave earlier. Dad, dad, dad might be... Leave earlier. Mum or dad might be driving down later.

Leave earlier. I mean, we don't have kids though, Fletch. There's another... So... Yeah, after I... I don't like toddlers making a whole lot of noise and kicking seats and stuff. No time for that.

But when a baby's crying now, I feel sorry for them because their ears are sore on the up and the down. Yeah, their ears are sore. Yeah, it must be wildly disorientating. Leave her home. Or if Grandma wants to see little baby Timmy, she can come up and stay with you, you know? She might be unable to travel.

Nah, get her a bus in the city if she can't fly. From Kitty unable to travel. Nah, get her a bus and then to the city. Get Nanny a bus? From Kitty Kitty to Wellington. Mum and Dad might want to get out, you know? I will say, and it's a completely unpaid endorsement, these Sony noise-cancelling headphones will drown out any shitbag on a flight. What is happening? Do you need a pair or something? No, no, I've got a pair and they are incredible.

I'm just saying that if you've got them, you won't hear a baby on a plane. Okay. If you're watching something or listening to something. My mum, because she's grandchildless, she likes to offer unsolicited help to people who are struggling with babies. She's like, can I please carry it and walk around with it?

Thank you, that woman, a grandchild, you know what I'm saying? I've got other shit to do. Also, I would like to nominate my children to be sort of foster grandchildren to your mother. Yes.

Because they'll charm her. She's probably had enough of your shit. They'll end up in the will. There's a bit of money there. There's a place in Italy this month. Oh yeah,

there's a place in Italy, yeah. I can see, I can see, they're not coming into the money. They're definitely coming into the money. I can see August,

you know, doing a... Are you trying to sell off your children to Hayley's mum to get in the will? You're not. Well, no, I'm not selling them off. They'll just be, you know, doing a... Are you trying to sell off your children to Hayley's mum to get in the will? You're not. Well, no, I'm not selling them off. That's not how this is working.

They'll just be, you know, we're in a long scam here. Why do you think Sam and I are not having kids? Because Sam and I are the only inheritance of my parents' income. Well, not anymore. We've got Indian August Smithsprout out there looking to get that place in Italy, baby.

Oh, my gosh. It's ruthless, isn't it? Long scam. Buongiorno. So are you on board with adult-only flights? Good pun there also, by the way. Are you on board with adult-only flights? They were very proud of that at the social media desk, weren't they?

They were very much so. Yes, 54%. No, 46%. They don't want adult-only flights. Kids. They've got kids. Adult-only flights also sound like... Naughty.

Yeah. Boozy. Some airlines have tried this in the past, haven't they? Sections where kids aren't allowed. Yeah. But you can still hear them. A kid knows how to break through a curtain. Oh, that's what it's designed to do.

You know, a child's scream is designed to travel far and alert its parents. Maybe they could make some soundproof boxes. Put them in the hold. Yeah. Put a little playpen in a babysitter and put them in the hold. Christine says that'd be so much more expensive and then the demand for normal flights would go up. Not worth it.

Suck it up and get some noise-cancelling headphones. I mean, Sony's got some great ones. Sony's got some great ones. I just said, yeah, they do. That's CEO of Air New Zealand, Christine. If she's not, she should be. Emily says, bro. Bro.

Bro. Bro. The environment. Well, no, people are still flying either way. Yeah, I don't think we're asking to double the amount of flights, Emily. I just think, like, this flight's child-free, this flight's for everybody. Yeah. This flight's child-free, this flight's for everybody.

Yeah, I don't think we're, like, just starting to flow around. I mean, if we're talking about the environment, maybe don't have less kids. Maybe let's have less kids. Quite the carbon emitters. Also, what's wrong with the environment? We have lovely weather lately. Well, Pakistan, we barely had a winter at all. Pakistan would beg emitters. Also, what's wrong with the environment? We have lovely weather lately. Well, Pakistan, we barely had a winter at all.

Pakistan would beg to differ. It's underwater right now. Sorry. Taranaki's got bugger all snow on it. Oh my God, my mum sent a photo of the mountain and for winter,

there's like hardly any snow. Mums love sending photos of mountains, eh? Every time my mum drives from Wellington to Auckland, she's like, here's the Ruapehu. I'm like, yeah, I know.

My dad hits me with a sunset. Oh, yeah, yeah. And every now and then he's like, do you think this is good enough to centre Renee for the weather? Oh, my God. You Smith boys need to stop pestering Renee at the weather desk. We are a couple of pests. She's got stuff to do.

Speaking of someone with children, she's just had another child. Yeah, right. She loves to travel. Maybe we should get her on. You can tell her she's not allowed to take her children anywhere. Nicole says, if you had the choice, then why would a new book? Adults only. Can you imagine the carnage of an all-kids flight?

I think people are misconstruing. No, they're still adults. It's just an anybody flight. Yeah. It's not just children. What about if we had the plane and adults are on the plane and there's a glider plane attached to the back? With all the children on it.

And we're like towing them along. And they're all wearing little pilot's uniforms. Alicia says, I clicked no for adult-only flights, but I've actually changed my mind. As I'm a mum, I'd be keen for a flight without any judgy Karens like that woman on board. Yeah. So she's saying... Yeah, yeah.

From the other side, it's kind of a good idea as well. I'll just shush other... I'll just like... Do that. And that normally... I've sat next to you and you've gone...

To a crying kid. Yeah. And it worked, didn't it? It was quiet. It was terrified though. It'll be... And if they're a bit older, I'll shoot them this look like,

you shunt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll be exploring that childhood trauma in an upcoming therapy session. Blake says, there should also be a dusty Sunday flight to and from all major centres on a Sunday. Adults only, soft lighting, limited interaction with the flight staff, and the options are tea, coffee, cookie time, and a Panadol. Yes.

Or like a beer. Yeah, just hear of the dog. Hear of the dog. Knock the tip off it. And Kelly said, why not? If people will pay for it, I can't see a problem with there being an adult only. Let's do it. Yeah.

Well, something for any Zealand to think over. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I didn't realise there was anything wrong with this. Truly. So there's an article that there's been some research into. This is in Britain. Okay.

But, you know, we do as the Brits do. And it said that over a third, 38% of problem gamblers buy scratchies for their underage children. Now, just remembering back to our childhood, we definitely scratched a scratchy under the legal age, right? When you get a card from Nan and Pop, always had scratchies in them. Yeah, because it was a fun kids thing.

It was a fun, bright coloured... Lotto was for grown-ups, scratchies was for children. Was for children. That's when we were growing up. That's how it worked. My granddad would always be like, and my granddad would buy the crosswords or the bingos or, you know, the $5 ones that were a bit more involved. And he'd be like, I don't know how these bloody work, mate.

Knock yourself out. Oh, my God, I know. Same. And you'd scratch them and he'd be like, if you win big, we've got to go halves. Yeah, and if you won, they'd always have to cash them in for you. No. No, I think always have to cash them in for you. No.

No, I think I used to take them in. I just remember passing over a ticket and getting the cash back. Because it used to be 16 for Scratchies, didn't it? And it was always 18 for Lotto? Or did it all change to 18? But then the Cassies are 20. Look, I don't know, mate. I was an eight-year-old having a durry and a beer

and I was scratching my Scratchies at the pub, putting a cheeky fiver on the horses, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the most Waikato thing you've ever said. So lots of people do it. 38% of people who identify as problem gamblers buy scratchies for their kids. 22% of people say they've got a low-level problem.

Right, which is just a lotto ticket every weekend. Lotto every weekend, maybe a couple of, yeah, pints at the ponies. Right. And then 8% of non-gamblers buy them. So, like, lots of people are buying their kids scratchy. It's so much fun. But when you, I mean, they are fun, but when you take a step back,

it's actually a gateway into gambling, isn't it, really? It is gambling because you're putting money in to take a chance to get more money back. Yeah. And you're disappointed. Hey, that's the housing market, you know? That's true, man. That's the stock market. That's the stock market, you know? Yeah. Everything's a gamble. Man, every time you get in your car, you're rolling

the dice. I know, but there's things you can do. Get out of bed, drink from a tap, roll the dice. You know? What's in your water? Well, a roll of the, well, who knows, man. You live in New Zealand. No, I know, but. Whoa. Giardia.

Yeah. Every time, everything's a roll of the old dice. I love a scratchy. Every now and then I'll be leaving the supermarket. It's always on the way out, eh? And you just like. And you think, I just love a scratchy. Right.

And you get in the car and you're like, I might win $10,000 right here and now. And you never know. When you do it in the car, do you scratch the stuff like into a pile on your hand? You hold the... It always ends up all over you. No, I just... Oh, no, no, no, no.

Maybe you should see my car. Like you couldn't tell. Oh, yeah, you couldn't tell in that car. Also, I can do it with my nail. There's some people who can't do it with a nail. No, I do it with a nail. It's better than a coin. A key or a coin. What about the back of a spoon? Some people use't do it with a nail. No, I do it with a nail. It's better than a coin. A key or a coin.

What about the back of a spoon? Some people use like the... But then you've got to eat your yogurt. I was just going to say, my kids always use a spoon. They... I know it's bad. I know it's bad. It is bad.

I know it's bad. But they love it. Oh my God. I can hear the police sirens. One, one, here I go. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

I just went to the bathroom and said, there she is to a woman who's coming out of the toilet who I've never met before, who I thought was someone else. And that just reaffirms that I need to go and get my eyes checked again. There she is. There she is. I don't know how I would receive that from a stranger. There she is.

Did you apologize and say, sorry, I thought you were someone else? No, it all happened too fast. There she is. And then I squinted, realized it wasn't the person. And then they would go on and I was like, that's the end of my career. Why do you not prioritise your, like you haven't been to the dentist

in 10 years, you've got a temporary crown. You're falling apart. You're falling apart and you don't, baby, I'm freewheeling. You need to sort out your health. I'm living.

I hate to think of the state of his prostate. Oh my God. No, I regularly check. He's always up there. I self-check, wife-check. Anybody who wants to have a check-check. All right.

Here a check, there a check. If we were a check-check. Old Mick Prostate isn't swollen. A hundred. Yeah, yeah. We are, like, tomorrow. Today's the 31st of August. Tomorrow, it's September, by the way.

And that means only, what, three weekends till Daylight Savings? It is 115 days, 16 hours hours and three minutes away from Christmas. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good.

Good. Yes. Me. Ridiculous. Also, a lot of prices going up tomorrow. Why? On renovation goods.

Why? Why the 1st of September? I don't know. I got a lot of emails saying order today, order today, order today. Prices going up

September 1st. Sounds like a scam. Just make sure you're looking at it. Well, I've spent thousands this morning. Right, there you go. Okay, that's interesting. Wednesday late Saturday, next weekend. No, three weeks away.

The 25th or something? Well, reports of Christmas are flowing in thick and fast, ladies and gentlemen. Expect a thick and fast suffering ladies and gentlemen. Expect a fucking, fucking fast. Suffering. Fuck a tash. There's a reference maybe 30%, 40% of the listeners will get. Well, if you've got the Sylvester the Cat, that one's for you.

Will messages in Bunnings Tower Junction Christchurch absolutely popping off now that's that's damn right the hardware stores are really stepping it up you might attend to your Bunnings I was in a Bunnings

at the weekend I didn't see any didn't you? any Christmas decor I saw lots of boxes of trees at Mitre 10 ready to go

God placemakers need to step up their Christmas chair. Grizzly old bastards. No, they're just for like tradies. Tradies, but what? Tradies can't celebrate Christmas? Yeah, true.

How's ITM's Christmas get up? Yeah, ITM's Christmas is pretty low as well. Well, people are just going there to buy poles and stuff and bits of wood. Yeah, I know. At a discounted trade price, but you know, you want it all. Alicia says it's beginning to look

a lot like Christmas. I've actually received this from a few people. Targeted advertising for a booze based advent calendar. So every day. Yeah. You know those little bottles that used to be on planes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those little bottles.

You get a different one of them every day. I brought one in this morning for Jared. A little bottle of booze. Yeah, Jared, yeah. Those little bottles. You get a different one of them every day. I brought one in this morning for Jared. A little bottle of booze. Yeah, Jared had a really cute little container and I promised him I'd return it with something exciting in it. So because he drinks Red Bull every morning, I put a shot of Jägermeister in there.

Because I had one of those little bottles. Has he had it yet? A little Jaggy and Red Bull. No, apparently it's too early in the morning. For a Jägerbomb, man up. Whatever, never too early for a Jägerbomb. But Alicia says, yes, it's targeted advertising for booze-based advent calendars. Okay.

Somebody else said, Elise Hawkins actually sent in. She saw it in person. Let's have a closer look at this. Oh, yeah. What is he looking at? You are so close. You need to get your eyes checked. Put your tongue back in your mouth.

Yummy booze. What a great excuse to drink more in the season where everybody already drinks enough. Andy is reporting in internationally. Leyland in England. This is Andy. We've talked to Andy a couple of times on the show. We need a British correspondent.

He's our UK correspondent. He talked to us about Aldi. Remember? Yes. And his one fateful trip. What did he buy on one trip? A Harry Potter book, a kayak and something else.

Great supermarkets over there. Ridiculous. Leyland, England, the Christmas cards are out on High Street. He said, and they're the bougie Christmas cards too.

But I guess if you're going to buy them and write in them, International Post might take some time so you've got to get it out there. Yeah. More reports of the Auckland Santa Parade, even though we did report on that last time.

Mark, and we actually had this reported from a few different places. Mark messaged us. It's also a post in our International Podcast family. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas because Die Hard, the pinnacle of Christmas movies in my opinion, is on TV.

So this was at the weekend. Right, there's been debate over that and it's been dispelled as a Christmas movie, hasn't it? No, I've never thought of it as such. It's set at Christmas. It's Christmas. Look, I think we need to support Bruce Willis in these trying times and say it is a Christmas movie. Christmas Wonderland pop-up store reported. Finns let us know about that from Willis Street in Wellington.

Kelsey said, we're already being told we need to be booking our Christmas parties. Brewtown Upper Hutt has said Christmas 22 is going to be massive. And we're already getting booking, so you might want to get in there if you've got a large team and make a booking. And Gary said, I just dropped a bloody package off at a customer's house. And they've got a Christmas wreath on the door. What? No. They've got their Christmas wreath.

That's a great. That could be no other wreath. That's not leftover from Anzac Day. No, they don't do. You don't put a wreath on your door on Anzac Day. You present a wreath at the memorial. The place where we remember our. I don't know, do I? Where we remember our fallen.

All right. With all that in mind and 115 days away from Christmas. Mrs. Claus, my coat and hat, please. Christmas penetration is at... 13%. Jesus. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I was also enthralling the group with a classic Vaughan yarn yesterday about how I had to go to the dump at some stage soon, take a big load of stuff to the dump. Sad to have missed it. I know, you went here for it. Everybody else was regaled with a story that I've just recounted in about 15 seconds that took somewhat in the vicinity of three minutes to tell in person.

So it was when I was talking about going to the dump that Carl Ween pipes in with, what were your exact words? I absolutely frothed going to the dump. You frothed going to the dump when you were a kid? She used to froth going to the dump. So as a kid, you would request to go to the dump? Yeah, absolutely. I'd be like, ooh, that

wheelie bin's looking a little full. Dump trip? Aww, cute. That is cute. But so what would you do when you got to the dump? Oh my gosh, throw things, you know? Down into that little pit. Yeah, and then the bulldozer things just like...

Smash it all into a big pile. You get to see what everybody else is throwing out. I used to like going because my dad would, we went up a big bumpy road and my dad would stick us in the trailer and we'd go like

all up the road. With the rubbish. With the rubbish, yeah. I don't know if that's safe. Yeah, nails. We were renovating. Yeah. Fun times, fun times.

The dump's fun. The dump is fun. As an adult now, I like going to the dump because there's a dump shop and you can go and see what somebody else has thrown out that could be your treasure. Yeah, it's less cool now because you don't throw it into a pit.

You can't throw things, can we? No, you still throw things. Yeah, but it's not into like a big hole in the earth. Were you throwing it straight into the hole in the earth? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. In Morrinsville, we never went to the dump because we had a big hole

on our farm that we put all of our rubbish in. Don't worry. Good to know. Every farmer does. You don't do it anymore, but you used to do it beside the creek and then it flooded and washed away half your rubbish. Perfect. Another problem for another time.

Yeah. Downstream's problem. Yeah. But when we got a bit older, we'd go to the dump. And it blew my mind in Morrinsville because there were seagulls there. Oh, yes. You had seagulls. We were nowhere near the sea, but somehow seagulls were like, we'll migrate there.

So it is weird as a kid what you like. I mean, the classics like watching planes land or watching fire trucks. That's trauma for me that you bring that up because we were promised the trip to Rambo's N1 school holidays. And the weather was fine when we left and the weather was looking okay in Auckland and then as we got into Auckland it started drizzling and mum said I'm not paying to go to

Rambo's End in the rain and we went to the airport instead and sat we had lunch in the car eating a filled roll we'd made before we left home watching the occasional planes land. I don't know if Rainbow's Inn would have let you B-way-o-fill roll. Yeah.

You would have been smuggling that. Christine definitely would have got her own rolls into Rainbow's Inn. Mine was going to the gym. My mum was a big gym goer and she'd do the pump classes and there was a crèche at the back and it had a glass window into the gym class. Yeah.

And I used to always watch them do their deadlifts and they wore G-string leotards over bike shorts. And I always used to think, them do their deadlifts and they wore G-string like leotards over bike shorts and I always used to think like, those look funny 80s ass, but you liked it I loved it, it was fun the music, I loved it there was fun it's classics

Producer Gerard, did you have a mundane activity you liked or a place you liked visiting as a kid? I really liked going to the public library getting the books out on my library card. What a nerd. What an absolute loser. It used to blow my mind at the library how quiet it was. This may be a surprise to you,

but I grew up in quite a noisy household. Yes. And going to the library and it was so quiet, and you'd be like, hey, have you seen... So you're just going and get out books, and then you just utilise the features of the library. Yeah, I'd get out the books. I'd go look at the little fish in the fish tank.

I'd go peruse the X Books bookshelf where you could buy books for a dollar. Oh, I thought you meant X-rated books. Our library didn't have that section. What about the garden centre? I'll put the garden centre out there. I hated going to the garden centre. Why? We'd always get dragged there.

Always. But you got to play in those. Why? We'd always get dragged there. Always. But you got to play in those wicked trolleys. That was the deal. Two of you sat in the trolleys with the pump-up wheels with the hard grates that you sit on that hurt your bum when you're in too long. Or you'd put a bag of blood and bone in there or a bag of compost and you'd sit on that

and the others would drag you around. No, ours are in a cafe so we get a slice. Oh, always a slice. So we want to take some calls this morning. Maybe like Carl Wayne at the social media desk, you loved going to the dump as a slice. Oh, always. So we want to take some calls this morning. Maybe like Carl Wayne at the social media desk, you loved going to the dump as a kid.

We want to know what mundane place or activity you loved as a kid, which now you're like, as an adult, you're like, oh no, no.

Yeah, get the girl some toys, you know. Yeah. Get her a pony. Carl Wayne at the social media desk let slip yesterday that as a kid,

she loved going to the dump. Yeah. It was her number one activity. She liked to throw things, to smash things, was the big one. Yeah. We want to know if there was a place like that as a kid you loved going to. Maybe it's a mundane activity now as an adult, but back then you just loved it as a kid. I am noticing that tough farmer bloke Vaughan Smith across the table

from me has tears in his eyes. Well, I was really forcing them out because do you know what the most common thing is of all these stories? It's just spending time with mum and dad. Regardless of where you're going, it's just spending time. The thing the kids like the most is time.

Put down your smartphones, mum and dad. Mum and dad. Put down the bottle, Mum and Dad. Mum and Dad. Put down the bottle. I want to go to the dump with my dad. So lots of texts and calls coming in. Let's start with Brittany. Brittany, as a kid, where did you love going? My parents owned a business when I was younger,

and we always went to the bank, and I absolutely loved going to the bank with my mum. To the cash-up. Yeah. She'd give me, like, the deposit book to put in. Yes! Because before, like... Someone should even let me go by myself.

Oh! Why'd you trust him with a bag of cash? I wouldn't have been trusted. I would never have trusted him with a bag of cash. It was like fabric sacks. I would have been straight to Decker for a Sega game. Or lollies. Yeah. They had a good pick-and-mix, eh to Decker for a Sega game. Or lollies. Yeah.

They had a good pick and mix, eh, Decker? Yeah, they did back in the day. They did. Brittany, thanks for your call. Shane, as a kid, where did you love going? Growing up, I was a little kid from a little town outside of Hamilton. Yep. Which was a Decker sign.

Yep. Which could it be? I'm not sure. So when you had a day off school and it was supermarket day, we used to always come through to Hamilton and you'd, Bourne might relate to this one, you'd go to Big Fresh.

Yeah! Big Fresh! Big Fresh on, was it Collingwood Street? And they had all their animated animals. Yeah, it was like Anglesey Street, just behind the Pack and Save there.

Yeah. And then you'd get so excited for a bun. Did you get a free slice of luncheon? I don't know if I was that fired up. Nah, Big Fresh was

always a free bun. Yeah, free buns. Yeah, yeah. And you'd press the button. Whereas now as an adult, you hate going to the supermarket. Oh, what a joy. It's horrible. Well, there's no free buns. That's press the button. Whereas now as an adult, you hate going to the supermarket. Oh, what a joy.

It's horrible. Well, there's no free buns. That's the main reason. No, no, exactly. Just the free banana. No, there's free buns. There's those bins and you lift them up

and you can just take the buns. No, no, they're free. You have to pay for those. There's free lollies and nuts and all. Free lollies, yeah, yeah. And that free raw fish is pretty good too. Oh my God. Crack open a couple of mussels

while I'm walking around. Free mussels, yeah. If it's not in a bag, I'll maintain it, you know what I'm saying? Shane, thanks for your call. Brooke, as a kid, whereabouts did you love visiting? So, not me. My three-year-old daughter, we were on a farm, and you know when you've got animals on a farm,

there's a dead hole where all the dead animals go. Yeah, we had an awful hole. That's what I mean, there's a dead hole. A dead hole? Yeah, we had an awful hole. That's what I mean, yeah. Small dead animals. My grandparents had a naturally occurring tomo hole. What is that? Like a white tomo. It's a Māori word for a hole.

Yeah. And they'd chuck the dead animals down there. There was probably a water source at the bottom of that. There probably could have been some cavers down there. Just some cow coming down. Someone was speaking. Thirteen Thai voices were down there, but we just filled it up with dead horses. Until the voices stopped.

I didn't even know this dead hole was a thing, Brooke. Well, when you've got a couple hundred animals on a farm, they die and you don't really have You don't give them all a little tombstone and a funeral and a send off and a white man? No, you just chuck them in and once it's all filled up, you just dug another one. Brooke, and your three-year-old loves visiting the dead hole. Yeah, so she's got a wee dance and a wee jingle she sings to herself if she's got to go. Hit us, hit us. I need to hear this dead hole jingle.

She goes, the dead hole, the dead hole We're going to the dead hole And then she has a little dance The dead hole, the dead hole Are you worried she's going to be a serial killer, Brooke? Yeah Oh my god, that's I was like, this is a little bit like some sort of ritual

But, you know She's going to become a murderer And then she'll come up behind people and be like The dead hole, the dead hole We're going to the dead hole Yeah, open up her drawer And she's got trinkets from each of the cows. Like a little bit of ear tags. Ear tags and night tags.

Candles burning. Yeah. Brooke, thanks. You call some messages in. Oh, God, there's some good ones. Someone said, I can beat the dump because I grew up in Canada. So we used to go on a Saturday night and watch the beers and the headlights. The beers are like scaring.

We've got seagulls in our dumps. Seagulls are never going to measure up to a bear. Wow. So much cooler. What would that be being a bear?

Someone said, I can't believe no one's mentioned how great the car wash is a kid. Oh, fun. And you were like, it's just whack

in the shit of your car. Especially in the 90s. You're like, is this bar going to come through the window? Yeah. It's going to come down. You're like,

oh my God, we're going to die. Senses, eh? Someone said, my dad the window? Yeah. Yes, when it would come down, you're like, oh my God, we're going to die. Yeah. Senses, eh? Someone said, my dad managed waddies. So we used to go to the paddocks where all the peas and corn were. Oh my God, the actual peas and corn. So I'd grow up with maize and corn and you'd just run through it until you fell into a ditch or

cracked yourself into a trough. But, like, peas. Imagine peas on that scale. Yeah, there'd be a lot of them That was so good Oh yeah Farmer's child Someone said

What about a trip to Wrightson's Or RD1 Yeah And you'd always just look At the gumboots And you'd be like One day I'm gonna get A pair of gumboots

One day I'm gonna have Big gumboots Yeah I'm gonna have A pair of tens like dad Well guess what I wear a 12 now So the big boy Has become the biggest boy Big gumboots Yeah I'm gonna have A pair of tens like dad Well guess what I wear a 12 now So The big boy

Has become the biggest boy Just for all those wondering The son has become the father My dad used to let me Caddy when he went To play golf And I loved it Because I'd get a can

Of coke at the end Now I realise It was just using me To carry around this bag And it was way cheaper To buy a coke Than hire a trundler or a cart. Yeah.

My mum used to have to identify bodies at the morgue. What? And I used to beg to go with her so I could look around at the headstones at the funeral shop next door and pick one out that I wanted. Planned my entire funeral by 10 years old.

In Hamilton by a roundabout over the road from Hamilton Gardens there was a headstone store that I was obsessed with as a kid. Why? I don't know why.

I was terrified of death. Terrified of death. But for some reason the idea of someone going in before they died and picking up what headstone

was going to be above them I was fascinated. Mum never stopped even though I asked all the time. Can we stop at the headstone store? She'd be like, no. I'm like, please. Lots of reports of loving going to the pub with mum and dad when they were a kid.

Oh, yeah, get a raspberry Coke. Yeah. Someone said, I used to get chips and lemonade, but I did also inhale a fair bit of secondhand smoke because you were still allowed to puff the durries inside at that stage. Rugby club with dad would get a raspberry lemonade and a big jug

and play on the slot machine. Another problem gambling story we've had on here this morning. I used to love going to my dad's workplace so I could spin on the office chairs. Homes never had

spinny chairs in the night. No, no, God no. They always had four legs and you weren't allowed to lean on them. I used to love going and visiting sick relatives at Tauranga Hospital. The absolute highlight would be the roof garden. God, there wouldn't be a roof garden still, would there? Not with the DHBs being stretched as thin as they are. Maybe it's sort of a zen area for the Tauranga medical staff.

If you could let us know the current state of the Tauranga Hospital roof garden, that'd be great. Got to go to the freezing works with Dad as a little girl. It was so fun loading the lambs up and riding in the truck. You would never be able to do that now with health and safety. No, no, no. I used to love loading the lambs up, even though she knew where they were going. Yeah.

Okay. Somebody's... Oh, my God. Yeah. Somebody, oh my god. Okay, I thought I was alone. I am hearing from everybody else who drove regularly past the headstone shop in Hamilton that was always like, can we stop and have a look at the headstones? Was it the font? I appreciate that everybody's still looking on that one. Was it a lot of typography? It may have been fonts.

Well, now we know where to get it from. You couldn't see the fonts from the road. It was just the headstones. And that was the other thing. They had some display headstones out the front of the store. And I was like, are people buried there? Of course they weren't, but that was in my mind. They made them and they didn't pay their bill. Can confirm that the rooftop garden at Tauranga Hospital is still there.

So there you go. That's still happening. Oh, yeah. I could talk about this all day. I used to go with my granddad when he'd go and get horse feed. And I loved going into, like, the massive warehouse full of sacks and sacks and sacks of feed because of the smell. Poos. But, you know, again, you know what the common thread on all this is?

Just spending time. With your parents and your loved ones. Because the greatest gift you can give to your child is time. Look up, mum and dad dad Get off your smartphone mum I'll be here for you Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Play ZM Fact of the day

Day day day day day. Today's fact of the day is about the snooze button on your watch or phone or alarm clock. Originally alarm clock radio, wouldn't it? No. No? No. The original snooze button was on an old analog clock that ran on gears. Right? It came out the same year.

Snooze buttons were added to alarm clocks the same year that the first digital clock was patented. Right, and these were the ones that didn't come on with the radio. They just came on with a... My parents had a faux rooster. And you'd hit it and it would go... It's 6.55am. See, that's well down the line of flash clocks, though. Because, yeah, when they were first,

the first news buttons were literally on those old... And you'd hit it. Like that. And the minute you hit first, the first snooze buttons were literally on those old ring-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a- The closest they could get to 10 was over 10. But then they thought people would rather wake up earlier than after 10. Like 11. 9 or 11. So they went for 9 because it was earlier. But now you go 10 and a half. It was about 10 and a half.

But they're like, people aren't going to like 10 and a half. We're going to make it 9. So if you are like, I've got 10 more minutes, that includes hitting it off and then going, pulling yourself out of bed. But if you're already past 10 minutes later, so that was their thinking behind it. And just because the gears wouldn't let them do exactly 10, they had to pick nine or later on in the tens.

And so then snooze became nine. Is it nine on your smartphone? I thought it was 10. No, it's nine. It's 10. No, it's not. The universal time for snoozing is nine. All because of the gears on this original analog clock.

All because of the gears on the original analog clock, even though at the same year that snooze was added, 1956, in case anybody's wondering, 1956 is also the year that marked the patenting of the first digital alarm clock. Right. Yeah, and do you want to know the year that marked the patenting of the first digital alarm clock. Right. Yeah. And do you want to know the year that the first digital watch came out?

Have a guess. 1981. 70. Is it Casio? Six. It was 1970. It was created by the Hamilton Watch Company. But they let other people, yeah, make them.

Right. At a cost, of course. And then, yeah, digital watches were 1970s, but apparently very expensive to make. Right. Like they were, you know how like... Little computers. Yeah, digital watches now, you'd be like, oh, that was a cheap little pickup. Yeah.

But then, yeah, in the 70s, they were very, very expensive to make. Right. So today's fact of the day is the reason snooze, the time that you can snooze is nine minutes long is because in the original clocks, when snooze was first put on, couldn't do exactly 10. So they thought they'd better do a little bit shorter and made it nine. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Vaughn, you are rocking a look here. Yeah, I just got sent something and I had this, I thought it was going to be a flat piece of material, but it's a case. Like a linen case. It doesn't tie around my head as much as I thought. You look like an oil tycoon. Yes! That's the energy I want. Somewhat problematic, but

we'll just turn the cameras off for now. Now, yes, we've been talking about phones and parents. We've been telling parents to look up. Yeah. We've really been on their case today. I don't know why. I'm addicted to my phone. Don't take your kids on flights Spend more time with your kids

Yeah That's been the We are really giving lessons here Yeah Two of us don't have kids We're weighing you down with guilt Even though you probably live quite a guilt filled lifestyle Yeah

Well if you don't want to hear it from us Why not hear it from the inventor of the world's first mobile phone His name is Martin Cooper He invented the first mobile phone many moons ago. He should be dead by now. That feels like he would be very, very old. No, because if you were young, like if you were 20. In 1973, he was 49 years old.

Oh, wow. Okay. He old. So he old, yeah. He old. 1973, 49-year-old Cooper invented the Motorola Dyna TAC-8000X, the first wireless cellular device. Isn't that insane they did the first mobile phone?

I mean, there's still a company that does, like, communication, mostly, what, radios and stuff, Motorola. Yes. Like, they still make a lot of communication devices, but they made the first phone, but they're not, like, the big dog now in terms of, like, all the smartphones we use? Yes, exactly. Yeah, they kind of got left behind. They got overtaken. Yeah, they did.

Well, he has a message for the people. Get a life. Put down the thing I invented that you all use. Get a life, he says. When he invented it, it was strictly sort of a communication device. Yeah, it wasn't

a smartphone. He says the smartphone is more of a dumb phone these days. He said he would use his mobile phone less than 5% of his time. He's telling people to get a life and stop using their cell phones so much they're missing out on the world. They

interviewed him on BBC Breakfast and the host went through her thing and said, I spend five hours a day on the phone and he was aghast. I mean, he's a gramps. He's old, but it's also his fault. He started this. He started this.

He can't come in chucking rocks and accusations. Yeah. He said, do you really spend five hours a day? Get a life. Ouch. Sounds like he's turned a corner, eh? Yeah, real grumpy old man. He's going to be running strongly worded letters

to the council. Anyway, that's his message from the creator of the cellular phone. Get off your phone. She's actually looking on Trade Me for a little tractor. A little one? I think I'd like a little tractor. You don't need a little tractor. A little one? I think I'd like a little tractor.

You don't need a little tractor. What did you put in the search bar? Did you put little tractor? I put little tractor. You have a quad bike. No, but I want a little tractor. I see people with a little tractor and I get so jealous. I get jealous.

Why can't I have a little tractor? If he has one, we can go on and ride it. It'll be fun as hell. I want a little tractor with a little front end loader on it. But you don't need this. What do tractors do? They tract things. You're being silly. Does he want to know about this?

You get a mower on the back. It's got a PTO on it. You can drive like, you know, log splitters, post rammers. You're being silly. What's your oyster when you've got a little tractor. Wait, man, I could die next week. What if I die with that little tractor? I reckon life's too short.

You could get hit by a car. Get a little tractor. Anybody listening got a little tractor? Because if you are, let's dodge these trade me fees by just going direct. That was really beautiful. Can I just say, any radio students listening, that was an incredible segue. I can't believe it.

Chef's kiss. I'm kind of a radio student. Every day, working with these two. Yeah. Well, you're more than welcome. Write it down in your book. Well, there's been fee changes to successful sales on Trade Me. The following listings will move from 7.9% success fee to 9.9%.

So you're paying 10% now. It's an agent's cut. It's ridiculous. An agent's cut. Yes. People in the entertainment industry, that is an agent's cut. The following listings, 7.9% to 9.9%. Motor parts and accessories.

Would that be a little tractor? No, because that would be a vehicle, wouldn't it? It would be tractor parts, wouldn't it? Yeah. That's taking a piss. Yeah, 10%. Like you sell something for like $2,000 or $1,000, 10% is either $100 or $200 of that.

That's a lot of money. That's a lot. 10% also on toys and models. Toys? Yeah. Taking the money off the kids. I know. 10% for toys.% also on toys and models. Toys? Yeah. Taking the money off the kids. I know. And 10% for toys.

10% for toys and models. So you'd just sell your toys under a different category, wouldn't you? Nah, because when you list it. And take furniture. But then what do they charge for that? 7% or 8% anyway, so I don't know that. Well, that by the sounds of it, I don't know what the across the board is. Right.

Baby gear is going from 7.9 to 9.9. So that's your prams, your trolleys, your prams. New mothers and fathers. Yep, hitting them. Oh, no, because it's the people selling it that pay this. You always forget about the success fees, eh? Because I'm not a huge trade music, but then when I do, I'm always like, oh, they took lots of money.

I got stung $75 on a sale that we did over the weekend. We've been selling some furniture. Sold a really nice thing, and $75. I was that we did over the weekend. We've been selling some furniture. Sold a really nice thing and it was $75. I was like, get out. Taking the pos. Taking the bloody pos, Mark.

Taking the pos. Several subcategories in business, farming and industry is also included. Now this might affect little tractors. This sounds like a little tractor for sale.

If you've got a cute little tractor. Well, that's what I was going to say. This is just going to force more people into Facebook Marketplace which is for sale. Facebook Marketplace. If you've got a cute little tractor. Well, that's what I was going to say. This is just going to force more people into Facebook Marketplace, which is a... Dude, Facebook Marketplace is the Wild West. I'm looking up little tractor on Facebook Marketplace. There'll be.

I've already seen the little tractors on Facebook Marketplace. Oh, are there? Show me the little tractors you've got. No, that's a big tractor. I don't know. What's a little tractor? Like a little Massey Ferguson or an old David Brown or something. What are you going to fit?

Like a mansion of two big tractors. Like a little Iseki. Two big tractors had a baby. Imagine what that would look like. Baby or a baby tractor. No, that's a big tractor. No, no, no. That's more in my wheelhouse.

That's a little boat tractor. That's a boat tractor. You said Massey Ferguson. Yeah, that's kind of the size I'm thinking. You don't need that. Stop being silly. It's not expensive. Did you need a cat?

Yes, I did. Yes, for his heart. Well, that tractor would do to your heart what the cat did to yours. Yeah, but a tractor doesn't purr at night in bed with you, does it?

It purrs when you're chugging along on that little tractor. Hey, what about this little tractor? A tractor for kids. That's also very, very cute. That's what Vaughn needs.

A tractor for kids. If that had the power, I'd be into it. Bub me kids car. There's one more category on Trade Me that has exponentially hiked. This has gone from 5.9 to 9.9. So TV accessories. So what are you talking about?

Soundbars? Freebie boxes? Anything that goes under TV accessories. DVD players? The problem is it's just going to cause more people to go to Marketplace where there are no success fees but where everyone gets ripped off. Yeah, it's wild. Well, not everybody, but...

There's definitely some scams going around. Yeah, we've talked about this in the past. Just do cash, you know, meet people outside police stations. Oh, yeah. Or, like, where there are security cameras to do any trades. Would I be best to meet outside a police station when I do my little tractor purchase? That's a massive tractor. That's bigger than my little tractor purchase? That's a massive tractor.

That's bigger than my dad's tractor. That's a big tractor. That's a big tractor. Yeah. Have you never seen a big tractor before? I can't have a bigger tractor than my dad. No, but I've seen a big tractor, but it's bigger than that tractor. Well, you see your gumboots are bigger than your dad's,

so why not have a bigger tractor? But when you're a kid, you see your dad's tractor, and it looks massive. And you're like, I wonder if I'll ever have a tractor that big. Yeah, and you're like, when will I get my man tractor? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's a toy tractor. That's too small.

You said you want little. Too big, too small. There's no pleasing you. You've gone. You're Goldilocksing this. Get me right in the middle.