ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 31st March 2022

Episode Date: March 30, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, try the refreshing McCafe iced coffee, available now at Macca's. Happy end of the financial year to all of our accountants and business owners listening. Yeah, many happy returns.

Absolutely accidental. If you owned a tax company, that would be a great tagline for Vaughan Smith accountants. Many happy returns. That's pretty good. No, but then you'd have to give all your clients bills for thousands of dollars, and they'd be like, this is not a happy return. I was going to say, when you said happy end of the financial year, my heart started racing a little bit.

It's a lot of admin. Yeah. I know. And it's a lot of business expenses to bury, isn't it? A lot to bury. A lot to try to justify. Yeah, yeah.

I'm just looking to see if anybody's got any accounting slogans. Oh, okay. Yep. Oh no, they're all boring Pretty boring Surprise

You can count on us Well what's like a boring one That would be a good one You can count on us Sproul accountants Will do your taxes Tax for the memories What about

Oh tax for the memories What about Sproul accountants Spread your sheets Oh Oh Yeah Because it's a little bit like

Yeah A little bit like, hello. Sproul accountants, a lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets. Spread sheets? Spread sheets. A freak in the spread sheets. Yeah, or Sproul accountants excelling. Yeah, excelling.

Excelling your accounts. These are all great. Just a couple of great ones here. So am I having a career change here In doing accounts I'm quite good at them It seems you're doing accounts I just

It's the task of sitting down And doing accounts That makes me be like Oh for fuck's sake I don't know how anyone Like has Like who runs Like a small business

That's like You know Does a lot of work Not just like a little side hustle But it would be so hard my dad who does or did retire own a small business did like voluntary audits every few months what does that mean his own company yeah so if the iid came knocking it out of all the answers constantly be checking that they're all going because he's a it's a finance company so money in money out money in

money out it's like money is what he does. So he'd do that all the time. So that when it came to the actual end of the tax year, he was like, it's done basically and I'm good. So you couldn't come in after school and just take a 20? No, I could take a 20, but it was always from petty cash and my dad had to like at the end of the month be like, oh God, I owe you, Hayley, fine. So you did?

All the time. Amazing. I even knew where the key to the petty cash was. I never asked. Wow. Hey, Dad. Oh, no. Chinga, chinga, chinga, chinga. Open the tin. That's fraud. Amazing. I even knew where the key to the petty cash was. I never asked. Hey, Dad. Oh, no. Chinga, chinga, chinga, chinga.

Open the tin. That's fraud. Bye. Bye, Dad. What would you buy with this petty cash? I don't know. Just go out and go to the movies. Yeah.

Do whatever I wanted as a teenager. Eat food. How much is a company allowed to write off its petty cash? Well, no. I'm assuming he'd just replace it. Yeah, he'd replace it sometimes. Yeah, with his own money. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. The reception right, yeah, yeah. The receptionist would always be like, it's the end of the year, Craig. Do you want the IOUs out of the petty cash? He'd be like, oh, yeah, give them to me. And then he'd have to go out on his poor lunch break and get out some money from the ATM. God, kids, who'd have them? Me too.

Play Zedian's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. How was it Thursday? I feel like this week... It's gone so fast. ...has flown. It's utterly flown by.

I've had a lot of fun, guys. Bruce Willis has been diagnosed with a... Yeah, he's got a... Aphasia. A what? Like a memory thing, like a brain thing. How did you know this? This is breaking news three minutes ago.

No, no, it was a few... Oh, maybe it was speculation. He talked somewhere and was a bit vacant and people were like, oh, maybe he's got early onset Alzheimer's or something like that. And now they're saying that it's, yeah, there's something going on. Yeah, he's officially announced his retirement from all forms of acting.

This was because this was on the back of people saying he'd enlisted to do like a long line of terrible films that you would never think that he would do. And apparently he was trying to make as much money and get through as much because he knew that his brain health was declining. Aphasia is a condition that robs you of the ability to communicate. It can affect your ability to speak, write, understand language both verbal and written.

And it typically occurs after a stroke or a head injury. Oh, God. Oh, man. John McClane. That's sad, sad news. We love bros. Yeah. What a legend. Good news.

Has he ever had like... He's not dead. No, he's not dead. That's a bad start to the day, isn't it? Has he ever had a real, like, controversy? Has he ever had a... I don't think so. Not really.

I don't think so. He was even like cool guy when Demi Moore was dating Ashton Kutcher. They would hang out. Oh, my God. No, they love each other. They're like a big modern family. Oh, that's so sad. Coming up on the show, Secret Sound returns.

We'll do that at 7 o'clock and 8 this morning. Before 7, we'll give you the chance to win a $500 Resene voucher. But next on the show, you're still doing Wordle. Vaughn, you had a bad day Did you get yesterday's? Because a lot of people didn't Yes, I'm number six Yeah, a lot of people had their first or second loss What was it in the end?

Oh, I can't remember It was one of those words where You could get four of the five letters But the one missing had every option remaining on the board Right, okay Well, we've talked about the music version of Wordle, Hurdle. Yes. Well, there's a new one because we're all in this craze at the moment.

We've tapped out, haven't we? We've given up. We're taking a break. We're on to the next. I guess we're just, yeah, like moving on. You know what I mean? It's in the past. Yeah.

Also, it just got too hard and I got too frustrated. We'll talk about the new craze next. We've all been playing Wordle. We've taken a little break, Fletch and I. Vaughan, you're still going, you're daily Wordling? Yeah, I'll do a daily Wordle if I remember. My daughters are into it. Oh, yeah.

I think all of us just wait until Indy's finished it and then gets the answer off Indy and be like, got it in two. If you're cheating, how did you not get it in one? Well, you can't obviously, you know. Get it in one, it's obviously you're cheating. Yeah, it's hard. Well, there were lots of versions, wasn't there?

There was Hurdle with a song. There was Worldle. Quartle, which was four wordles at once. Four on the go. Well, now there's a new one. They haven't come up with a... Come up? Oh, no.

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Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. They haven't come up with a clever title for this new one. Not a hurtle, hurtle, fertile, myrtle title. It's called Framed. Watched it. Watched it. Watched it. Sawed it. Sawed it.

Filmed it. Filmed it. It could be. Seen it. Because what they do is they show you a frame from a film and you have the guesses to guess what it is, but only on a single frame. Oh, so there's no clue as to what the movie is?

No clue whatsoever. Oh, wow. It's just like a little like, ah. And you get a better one each, you get a more obvious one each time you advance, right? Like you start seeing characters and stuff. Oh, it advances, does it? Yeah. Because Colin said she did it yesterday.

What was it, Shaun of the Dead yesterday? Or Hot Fuzz. And you didn't see any of the actual characters until you were four. Oh yes. So we just did today's and they won't ruin it so people can go and enjoy themselves. We got it in one though. We did get it in one. It's obvious. But I've just gone obvious,

obviously wrong on this one. So I put Die Hard. It's not Die Hard. So spoiler alert, it's not Die Hard. We're talking about Bruce Willis today. And then it does, it gives you another scene and then I might go Love Actually, which spoiler alert, it's definitely not. It's not an animated film, so it's definitely not.

And then it starts to get really obvious. I'll show you the pitch, you know what I mean? So it does get easier and easier as you go along. I still wouldn't know what that is. That movie was on when I took the girls to get vaccinated on Saturday. Right. Which is, the place I took the girls to get vaccinated on Saturday. Right. Which is the place I took them is like a specialist part of,

like a vaccination center where they look after kids. I mean, anybody can get vaccinated there, but it is one of the places where they've got the kids' doses. Yeah. And that was on. And I hadn't seen it for years, that movie. And it's freaky. Like, it's weird.

It's a real sort of labyrinth-y dark crystal. You know when you're a kid and you watch it and it freaks you out and you're as an adult, you're like, I love that movie. And then you watch it and you're like, this is weird. Like, kids. It's a great movie. I love all his movies. Well, I think you've got to say the movie now

because you can't talk so much about it. I'm going to publicly ruin. No, that's what. Just air muffs if you don't want so much about it. I'm going to publicly ruin. No, well, that's what, just earmuffs if you don't want to know. Okay, ready? Three, two, one. Spirited Away

from Studio Ghibli. Which came out in 2001, by the way. Like, it's a 21-year-old movie. I remember watching it as a teenager and just, yeah, my mind was blown.

Do you think there should have been something more mainstream for the kids? Well, I've got no problem with children exploring these sorts of things, but mind was closed. It's beautiful. Do you think there should have been something more mainstream for the kids? Well, I've got no problem with children exploring these sorts of things, but there was a part where heads bounce around on the ground around a cauldron. Oh, it's wild. It's wild and weird and ghostly and just before you're about to be injected. Yeah.

So anyway, if you've done your wordle and your hurdle and your worldle and your quardle today, you can now go to framed. Well, a lot of us craving that overseas holiday. Oh, I just want, I want to be somewhere that smells different, feels different and tastes different. Like even a big, dirty old city. Yeah, absolutely. You're more of an island

I want to smell like some coconut something coconut some sandalwood some sandalwood some free body lotion you want a

five dollar massage yeah you don't have body lotion that's always in tropical island hotels because you might get a little bit

a little bit sun kissed and you've got a lotion up at the end of the day and you lotion yourself up and you're skidding around in your undies. You've dried up like a sultana under the sun. It's good stuff. Now you managed to escape

to Australia when that little window opened, didn't you? Very briefly. That was the last time I went overseas. Before that, like 2018 or 2019 maybe? That's the thing. A lot of people haven't been overseas for at least like two, two and a half, three years. Well, yesterday, and there's good news, airlines are starting to announce flights back to New Zealand.

So yesterday, Hawaiian Airlines are confirming that it's returning to New Zealand with flights. It's going to start flying here from July 4 and they'll go three times a week. Wow. And do you remember like pre the pandemic, like there was a bit of a Air New Zealand, Hawaiian Air flights kind of fight, a fear kind of war. I thought you meant in a fear. I was like, what happened?

And you could get flights for like 600, 500, 600 bucks return. How far is it to Hawaii? Eight hours. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. I've never been. Oh, it's, like, I was not reluctant, but I was like, is this just going to be a big city by the beach? And it was

exactly that when you're in Honolulu, but it's insane. You literally walk off a busy street through a hotel onto one of the most picturesque beaches around. Yeah. And then the places out a little bit are just phenomenal. That's the thing. You can get in a car and drive an hour north

and be on a beach that no one's on. Oh, my God. I want it. I want it. Also, Air New Zealand have said 40% of their international destinations are back up and running. And throughout the year, they're going to start flights to New York. 40%?

Yep. So it's still a lot not happening. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So later in the year, they're going to start flying to Singapore, Vancouver, San Fran. There'll be Chicago flights resuming, Houston, New York.

They're going to start those in September. Yeah, and other airlines, Air Canada coming back from November the 12th. Where were we at with Bangkok? My favourite place in the world. Okay, so there's no Bangkok on the list. But did Air New Zealand ever fly directly to Bangkok? Maybe ages ago, but Thai was going every day.

You go through Singapore. Yeah, yeah. American Airlines, they're going to start coming back in November. Emirates are coming at the moment, but I think through, you have to go through Kuala Lumpur. So no direct flights from Emirates or Qatar. But, yeah, it's kind of opening up. I'd truly go anywhere.

I'd just, I'd spin a thing. I'm still like, not really. I'm still like, not really. Because did you see that article? I think it was at the weekend Or last week It was from like What is it MFAT

The travel The Ministry of Foreign Affairs A lot of places like Are still so bad That your travel insurance Wouldn't cover you Yeah

Oh Okay So there's that I'm just I'm literally on Google Maps Plus you're not vaccinated Remember Yeah

Shh What What What I bought that vaccine pass So there's that. I'm literally on Google Maps. Plus you're not vaccinated, remember? Yeah. What? What? I bought that vaccine pass on Facebook Marketplace. You got it down at the protest, didn't you? Yeah. Yeah.

So there was like a little stall. Also, why are people still protesting? I don't understand the second protest that's been planned. What are they protesting now? And there are still people protesting. You've literally got what you wanted. The mandates are being dropped. What do they want now? I don't know. Kiss on the cheek and

five bucks or something. Don't know. Well, good luck. Well, I want to pull someone in our team down. But in doing so, I want to pull someone in our team down. Okay. But in doing so, I am going to raise one member of our team up, Vaughn Smith. Executive intern Anna mentioned the other day, she said, guys, because we always pace around the room, don't we,

trying to get our Apple Watch stand down. Oh, we're closing the rings. We're closing the rings. And then, Anna, you said, oh, is it worth it getting an Apple Watch? You were fishing around thinking, I might get one of these things. You could come in for our daily walks. And then the generous, charitable Vaughan Smith just said, you can have my old one.

Now, is this the one that fell to the bottom of the poo falls? Well, the poo falls? It wasn't the poo falls. There's poo in the falls. There's poo in all the water around. There was a sign saying fecal spores or whatever. Because you dived into the waterfall, you lost your, it fell off, your watch fell off.

And you thought, this is it, I've lost my watch forever. You bought a new one. And then this young man, Ishmael, dived down and found it. Yeah. Like some sort of modern day bloody Aquaman. What did you do? You put it in a bag of rice?

Didn't even need to do that. It was still working. It was working perfectly. Well, they're waterproof to like 50 feet. Fantastic products. So then I said, but then once I'd lost it overnight that night, I had a few drinks to console myself and ended up just ticking one up. Yeah.

So that arrived. And then I said to my wife, and ended up just ticking one up. Yep. So that arrived. And then I said to my wife, you can have my old Apple Watch. The poo watch. The one that's been in the water. The poo pongs. And she was like, okay. But she never really felt that attached to it.

She's got like a Fitbit thing. She wanted to remain a second rate citizen. Yeah. Embarrassing for you and her. And the Apple Watch was just sitting there. And I said, well, I'd rather see it used. And then when Anna said she was thinking of getting one, I was like, well, I've got one you can have.

Right. She was like, bloody Oliver Twist, you know, standing in front of you, hands out. Who's the person in Oliver Twist? The good person. He says, he wants some soup, please, sir. Yeah, yeah, but who gave him, like, who's the good guy? Is there a good guy in Oliver Twist?

I've never seen her. I can't remember. I'm only familiar with the person. The guy giving her some soup. Anna, you were absolutely stoked, weren't you? Yeah, it was so generous, Vaughan. Thank you. Really generous.

Oh, money bags over here. You don't need a thank you. Anyway, so, and then you turned up the next day, in fact, wearing it. You did join us on one of our morning walks. Honestly, guys, I felt like a million bucks. I felt like it made us. That's what they're there for, you know? And then you were like, you looked at mine,

and I've got like a silver strap. I haven't gone for like a sportswear one like you guys. I've gone for like a fashion kind of elegant one because I like the silvers. And you said, like, that's a fancy strap. Where'd you get that? And I said, I got it on Trade Me. Just a cheapie.

Yeah. And then I turned up today and while we're having our pre-production meeting, what's on your little wrist? It's a fashion strap from Trade Me. It's the same

fashion strap. Your Honour, it's a slightly different gradient. You've absolutely ripped off my look. This is my aesthetic. I'm famous for my stainless steel mesh magnetic strap.

Yeah, you're an influencer. Take that as a compliment. That's what it is. That's people I'm interviewing. But I'm not getting a commission from this brand of cheap trade me $4 straps. I think $4. It's just $4. How much was yours?. Oh, man. It's just $4. You know, you're going to have...

How much was yours? I've overpaid. I paid like $23. I feel validated now. You're going to have one of those allergic reactions you get. I was very worried about that, actually, yes. Yeah. Where do I draw the line?

What's next? Then you said this morning, I like your earrings. Get back off. I just want to be you so bad. I mean, that's understandable. It's understandable. It's full on, though. I guess I got a little fan.

I got a little fan. She wants to date. Don't call me a little fan. I don't know. I mean. Little buddy. I got my little shadow, you know, following me around. She's already made inquiries as to that other guy that goes around with Greg Grover from Nova.

Oh, yeah, yeah. the other guy in the ads. Are we going to try to hook into him? Yes, please. Keep your own Mr Nova. No, don't. He's mine. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, I don't know if you've heard about this,

but the Oscars were on Monday. Go on. And during the Oscars, let's just Go on. And during the Oscars, let's just say it didn't run smoothly. Oh, no. What happened? Oh, well, let me tell you, and this may be news to everyone listening,

and I don't want to shock you, so if you're driving, you might want to pull over. You'd have to be under a rock to have not... Eric didn't know. But this doesn't surprise me. No, it doesn't surprise me. He's not. Wait, when did he find out about this your fiance?

I had to tell him yesterday Wednesday Yeah But to be fair One pop culture He couldn't give two S's about it Yeah And two he's been a very busy boy

And just hasn't been reading the news And then I showed him he was like what? Anyway bless him That is wild I know I like it about him. I like it about him. Sometimes I get to update on him. I'm like a newsbreaker all the time in our relationship. Anyway, so of course, of course we all know

that Will Smith, Chris Rock made a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith being bald, a G.A. Jane joke, and of course she has alopecia. He took umbrage to it. Will Smith took to the stage and slapped him hard on the face. Even that's been debated. If she even has alopecia. Really?

Yeah. I read this article and this alopecia expert was like, if you look at all these other things she said about her hair. Yeah. I thought she was diagnosed with it in 2018 and then shared that, that she'd got an actual diagnosis. But then this alopecia expert, who I'm not saying is correct, but I read an article saying these are the reasons I don't know

if this is even true. Right. Also a clip yesterday of Will Smith hassing a bald man in a crowd on a talk show in the early 2000s. It was on Arsenio Hall. It was on Arsenio Hall. He was mocking the band leader or the stage manager for having a bald head.

Jeepers creepers. I mean, that's the thing. That's what somebody said. That's the thing about the internet. It doesn't forget. No, it doesn't forget. You might have forgotten. Different times, I guess,

and people are more educated about what we should make jokes about. Well, a study found as well, just while we're talking about this, 66% say Will Smith should have been arrested. Wow. I don't know about arrested, but time will tell. Some celebrities would have said, I would have pressed charges. I would have sued.

I don't think Chris Rock would. I mean, anyway, time will tell the impact it's going to have on his career. Anyway, so that night he posted a photo of him and Jada and some kind of funny comment like, you can't invite people from Philly anywhere. Yeah. And then people were like, not good enough.

Yeah. Not good enough. And then, you know, his speech was about, ah, I'm King Richard and it's brought out the crazy in me, protect my family.

And people were like, not good enough. Then finally the day after, Will Smith took to Instagram, made a massive apology about, you know, doesn't condone violence. He apologizes to Chris Rock. Very well scripted. It was massive apology about, you know, doesn't condone violence. He apologises to Chris

Rock. Very well scripted. It was, it's like they have a template for celebrity Instagram apologies and this was to the T. And then Chris Rock made a good couple of tweets about it. His first tweet was, don't worry my gums took the majority of the

blow or something like that and then he's kind of been quite quiet around it because I don't think Chris Rock wants this to follow his career. You know what I mean? Like he didn't ask for this. Anyway, so everyone was like, well, what's Jada's stance? Because a few people were saying, he's just protecting his woman. And they were like, what does the woman think about this whole thing?

Finally now. Because we've all been out with a couple Where the guy is aggressive And the woman is nothing but horrendously embarrassed about it Oh my god If Aaron jumped out of a seat If someone said something about me I would be grabbing him Like I would stop him

Yeah, yeah Don't you dare Don't you embarrass me Anyway, she's finally posted something on Instagram It's sort of not what people wanted It's a little like pink background And it says This is a season for healing And I'm here for it It's sort of not what people wanted. It's a little like pink background and it says this is a season

for healing and I'm here for it. It's an auntie quote. Something aunties post on Instagram. Yeah, it's something you'd see like sort of screen printed

on a wooden slab in a kitchen. Yes. You know what I mean? The season of healing. That's all she's said so far. It's quite, you know.

Oh wow. It's a bit of a But I think I'm not a huge Jada Pinkett Smith fan and I think she's going to's said so far. It's quite, you know. Oh, wow. It's a bit of a. But I think. Bit of a nothing. I'm not a huge Shader Pinkett Smith fan, and I think she's got to be loving the attention. Like, have you ever watched any of those episodes of Red Table? Nah, yeah, but you and her are absolute polar opposite ends of a scale.

Have you ever watched one of those Red Table tours? I have. It's so horrible. Everything's out there. Yeah. Not your cup of tea. Not my cup of tea at all. Well, I mean, it's still unravelling.

And, of course, we're going to dive into this a little bit later. We've got a Hayley's version today. Yes. Now, you're going to do a version of Will Smith's song. It just felt appropriate. And now I don't know if it is. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

This is the top six. It's getting hot in the city. Hot in the city tonight. Tonight. Tonight. That's right. It's getting hot in cities. Cities are getting hotter.

Slightly hotter than other places. Who says? NIWA, Science, Thermometers. Did you guys see Byron Bay? Have you guys been to Byron Bay? Yeah. Like it's underwater. Why? The town.

All the shops. It's nuts. More flooding. More flooding. Flooding. More flooding. Just on the global warming thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's Mars at? Where we at with that? Being able to go to Mars and stuff that up for a while. Still a while. We still haven't sent people, have we? But I believe in us.

We can stuff that up. I believe. Also, I love that people think, oh, it'll obviously be me that goes to Mars out of the bajillion people on the planet. And it would be you. I think, in all oh, it'll obviously be me that goes to Mars out of the bajillion people on the planet. And it would be you. I think, in all honesty, it would be easier to address the issues and start fixing the planet we've got rather than just running away from it. Yeah. NIWA, commissioned by the Auckland Council, showed the number of days exceeding 25 degrees Celsius in Auckland City could jump from an average 20 days a year to 100 days a year by 2090.

Now, 2090 is a long way away. I'm going to be 108 years old. You'll be dead by then. You're not going to be 108 years old, Vaughan. You're going to be a distant memory. You're going to be pickled by 80. Yeah. I'll be a distant memory. But it could be be pickled by 80. Yeah. I'll be a distant memory.

But it could be getting really hot. So how do we combat this? Cities hotter than their rural counterparts. Is this your top six? Your environmental ideas? I'm working on how to cool the cities. They talked to Hal Davis, Auckland Council's principal urban forestry advisor. Yeah.

And he said more trees in public spaces. Oh, yeah. Because recently it was 34 degrees, and then he stepped under a tree, and it immediately dropped to 30 degrees. So that's like five degrees less. Has this guy just learned about shade? Yeah.

It seems super obvious, but he's like, if we plant more trees, it's more cooler air spaces. Yeah, right. Because we're all tarmacs and rooftops. Get some solar panels on the rooftops. Get some trees on the ground. We're all on the way. Get some beehives up there too.

Yeah, get some urban beehives. Then the trees, they'll flower. They'll look lovely. We'll have some honey. Delightful. That's just absolutely solving it. So there's a whole research into heat vulnerability of cities and how they're going to handle it.

And I've got the top six that I'd like to chuck on the pile of top six ways to cool a hot city. Eco warrior. Number six on the list. Everybody turn on their air conditioning and then just leave the doors open. Great idea. Because it doesn't work if only one person's doing it,

but if everybody's doing it, that's just power of numbers. Open the doors and windows. Yeah. Yeah, but it really makes the machine work, doesn't it, when you've got the doors open. But we've got all the solar panels on the roof, powering the machines. Have you ever stayed in a hotel where if you open the ranch loader

onto the balcony, it turns off the air con? Oh, yes, you're like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, you're like, what are you doing? I want both. Yeah. I want a breeze and that cool, cool air. Number five on the list, I've turned to

nature for this one. How does nature cool a hot body? It sweats, so the city needs to start sweating. That's number five on the list of the top six ways to cool a hot city. Ew. I mean, it would be hard for a city to start sweating, so I was thinking, you know, for a city to start sweating.

So I was thinking, you know, the fire hydrants? Yeah. They turn into like sprinklers on a golf course. They just pop up randomly. So what you're saying, sprinklers. Yeah. Yeah, nice. Sprinklers all around the city.

That'll cool it down. Dogs will love that too. Oh, yeah. They love a sprinkler. I mean, everyone would love a sprinkler. I'd run and jump over it. I'd probably sit on it too. Oh, yes. You know when you're a kid and you sit on a sprinkler? I'd run and jump over it. I'd probably sit on it too. Oh yes.

You know when you're a kid and you sit on a sprinkler? Sit on the sprinkler and you're like hee hee hee hee and it tickles my bum hole. You can't do that as an adult.

Well you can. You can. In private. Yeah. Private. Number four on the list of the top six ways to cool a hot city.

Wind turbines generate power by wind turning the blades. So vis-a-vis we turn them so they start going the other way, so they blow air, and then they blow air onto the city like an oscillating fan of city shots. Seems counterproductive.

Like a Dyson fan. Yeah. See, they want to put a big wind farm off the coast of Taranaki. Wind and solar farm, right? Yeah, in the ocean. I've seen an ocean. In the ocean? Yeah, by Denmark.

How did they? Yeah, flying into Copenhagen. There was like 50 of them in the sea. And look how hot they are. They're hot people. There's no arguing with that. Yeah. So you're saying it could turn Taranaki people into tents?

No. God, no. What is it, magic? It's not wizardry. No, have you been there? Yeah. It's not going to magically make them regrow teeth. I'm from there.

Right. Yeah, exactly. Very rude. Mike Payson Point, Your Honour. I'm going this weekend. I don't want to be apologising for you. I beg your pardon. My family only got good looking when they left.

Number three on the list of the top six ways to cool a hot city. Give everybody a pool. Yeah, great idea. Everybody gets a pool. Great idea. Everybody gets a pool. Number two on the list of the top six ways to cool a hot city. Hot breath has got to be contributing to it.

So make everybody breathe out of a small mouth, not a big mouth. You know when you breathe out of your mouth and it's small? Cold. Hot. So when you breathe in. Through the nose. Out through purse. That makes so much sense.

And then it's going to definitely drop the temperature a bit. It'll bring it down. And number one on the list of the top six ways to cool a hot city. I mean, it was the most obvious one from the start. Make a city in Antarctica. It's real cold there. That city's not going to get hot. That'll only cool one city, a new city.

Yeah. And I reckon building a city in Antarctica is going to bring more problems than just making it hot. If you ask me, it's too cold down there. No, it's 40 degrees hotter than usual at the moment in Antarctica. But still negative 130 or whatever it is. Right. Okay, bananas. That's an idea.

Absolutely bananas. That is today's... Tap Sex. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Yummy, yummy. Well, yummy, yummy. A segment of the show where we take a look at new food items or food products.

This is always so cruel. It gets me, it gets me blooming hungry. But here's why. And when we looked at this this morning, you guys were like, ooh, you're a bit ooh. Yeah, I was ooh. I'm still ooh. You're still ooh? I'm ooh.

So this is, I think it's in Australia. And it's in America. Okay. I'm not sure if it's in New Zealand yet. You'd say it would. If it's in Aussie, it normally comes here. They think we're the same place. Yeah.

We're just a suburb. They do. Of Melbourne. It's Chupa Chups ice cream. Like it looks like a... Trumpet? Trumpet. Yep.

Chupa Chups strawberry and cream flavour. This is a good Chupa Chup. But the thing about a Chupa Chup is it's hard. Is it like little chunks of Chupa Chup? Like hokey pokey? Ew, no. So it looks like there's a waffle cone that's choc-dipped on the inside, as it should be.

Yum. And then there's strawberry and vanilla flavoured ice cream like whirled. That I'm okay with. They say swirled. I believe it's whirled.

Whirled? No, it's swirled. Like whirly whirled. Okay. And then on top it looks like a crispy crunchy chubba chub crumble.

Oh no, yuck. No. What is that yuck? No, like a smashed up lollipop. Yeah, that would... No. But I love candy. I love candy.

I'll go candy over chocolate any day. Really? Really. Every day. Okay. You know, these are like the fizzy Coke bottles, any kind of candy, lollies. Is the strawberry like...

Is it like how you'd get on a McDonald's Sunday? Like, is it that kind of gooey, kind of swirly? No, it's like proper sort of thick ice cream. But if you can see in the middle as well, there's some kind of oozing. So it's got an ooze. What is the ooze? Strawberry ooze?

It's strawberry ooze. Oh, here we go. A truly spectacular strawberry and vanilla ice cream sensation featuring crushed candy and a delectable strawberry sauce drizzle. Oh, they've gone for a drizzle. It's a strawberry sauce drizzle. Who's making these? Does it say who's making these? Uh-huh.

Does it on the box? Does it have a logo? It does. Who owns Chupa Chups? Is it street? Oh, Bulla. It's Bullubba Chubs. Is it Street? Oh, Bulla. It's Bulla. Who?

You know Bulla that do the like delicious tropical flavoured? Oh, they're good. Bulla. Bulla Dairy Foods. Fiji and Hello. Yeah. Oh. It's about the same.

B-U-L-A. B-U-L-L-A. Sorry. I've never heard of them either. Maybe it's Beulah. Like Ferris. Ferris. Maybe.

Yeah. Bula do the most yummy, like, creamy, sorbet-y kind of yoghurt-y ice blocks you can get in the middle of the supermarket. Oh, I've got no idea. No, they're so good. Well, that's who they're teaming up with. Chupa Chups and Bula Dairy Foods. Right. So keep an eye out for those. Keep an eye out.

I'm going to absolutely home one of these for sure. Don't screw your nose up at me, you pretentious... I think the last time I had a Chupa Chup, they were 20 cents. How much are they now? They've got to be more than that. Aren't they a dollar or 80 cents? Oh, outrageous!

No, they can't be a dollar. A dollar's too much. Every now and then when I have to pay inside at a petrol place, I grab myself a chub chop. I always go for Coke. Coca-Cola flavour. Yeah, Coca-Cola's the best chub chop. Yeah, that if I had to.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, creamy chub chop. No, no, no, no, no. Especially if you're a bit hungover, they're really nice. You can get a 25 pack, share pack for $5.50 or $5.90. Still, I'm talking individual. But individual. Individual.

That's not going to be that price. Nah, they're way more. That's a bulk order. Probably about 60 cents, you'd say. Yeah, I reckon at least. Outragus. Well, keep an eye out there. Well.

West Auckland, hell of a place. Oh. West Auckland. Hell of a place. Oh, love it. Up and coming. Yeah, for those that don't live in Auckland, how would you describe it? It's everywhere's west. Everywhere's west.

It's everywhere's west. West Hamilton's the same thing. Like Dinsdale and that's like the Bougainy area. Right. West cities are always bogan-y. Are always a bit bogan-y. Why? I don't know.

I didn't know. I didn't even know. It's an odd place, West Auckland, for those out of Auckland. Like you yesterday, you had a compulsory breast test at 11am. Yeah. On a Wednesday. Yeah, on a rural road. Gosh.

Bizarre. Yeah, it passed, by the way. I thought you'd been pulled over again for speeding. No, no, no. Not in the chimney. I don't speed in the chimney. Because you can't. Because you can't.

It doesn't go fast enough. The best part about it, to be totally honest, it sits at a reasonable 95 kilometres an hour, and I'm happy with that. Right. And I'll sit in the fast lane too. Yes, you will. He does.

He stays in the right lane. I hate, I'm such a pet peeve about having to overtake people in a left lane. Hayley pulls the fingers at me every time she overtakes me on the doorstep. He's so slow. So, yeah, West Auckland's, I mean, it's outrageous fortune. We love it. Basically. It's great.

I couldn't see myself living in any other compass direction of Auckland. East Auckland sucks. Have you been to East Auckland? It's miles away. I went once and the sky tower was real small. That's how you... I got real scared. Yeah.

How do you navigate? I can't see the sky tower. It's real little. I'm like, I need to go home. I feel lost. Yeah. I can't live on the North Shore of Auckland. Why?

I'm not South African. I don't think that's a good reference. And I don't like sailing. Yeah. I can't live on the north shore of Auckland. Why? I'm not South African. I don't think that's a good reference. And I don't like sailing. I think you've either got to be one of the two. Or if you're a South African that likes sailing, holy moly, do I have the compass direction of Auckland for you. I reckon South Auckland would probably be the next Auckland I could live in. Right.

Well, something's happened in West Auckland that the nation needs to hear about. Yeah, this is on an Auckland businesses page where I guess people are just like shouting out, but also giving other people heads up about businesses in Auckland. The poster is anonymous because I found this on the New Zealand subreddit. Okay. So I don't even have a name, but I can see a tiny picture of her Facebook profile. And she's about as West Auckland as you get. Okay. I thought you were going to say she's about a one. I was like, oh my god.

No, no, no, no, no. She's a West Auckland six. Yeah, oh absolutely. You can tell she's wearing Ugg boots even though you can't see them, right? Yeah. Yeah. You can tell she's got live, love, laugh somewhere in her house even though you can't see it. Okay. Definitely. And this

is about Hollywood Cafe, Lincoln Road Henderson. This must be what you do. Is this Hollywood Bakery? Same thing? Yeah, I think so. Okay. Hollywood Bakery, Lincoln Road Henderson. I used to love their ginger slices.

Do you remember that when we worked next to one of those? Yeah. They do a good saucy roll. Yeah. It's not a bad saucy roll. It's one of those saucy rolls that are craving for a couple of back that'll leave a grease film in your mouth for a good few hours. You have to have a hot tea to wash it out. Get out.

Get a green tea in you. Hollywood Cafe, Lincoln Road, Henderson. I was out shopping with my grandchildren and found myself taken short. I went to the warehouse right next to Hollywood Cafe. And if you're familiar with Lincoln Road, I can picture this. I've been in that warehouse many times. I went to the warehouse right next to Hollywood Cafe and if you're familiar with Lincoln Road, I can picture this. I've been in that warehouse many times. I went to the warehouse right next to Hollywood Cafe to use the toilet but it was informed it was being renovated.

Oh, okay. I shot into the Hollywood Cafe to use the toilet and was denied access. Yep. I lost it a bit and put my face a few inches away from the staff member and said, if you deny me entry, I'll take a dump in your doorway. Keep in mind, she is out with her grandchildren.

Yeah, and she's busting. Yep. She's setting a great example. Yeah, she is. She's busting to set a great example and busting to do poos. So, yes, if you deny me entry, I will take a dump in your doorway. I left the cafe pulling my pants down But thought better of it as it would be me Whom was fined?

I like with all this talk about taking a dump In a bakery's doorway She decides at this stage we'll say whom It's time for a whom She pulls her pants down She's pulling them down. As if to be like.

You know sometimes you do this in your own home on the way to the bathroom. Oh yeah it's the same time. Start wiggling the trousers down.

Especially if you're really busted. Yeah it's like you know those ones where you get home and you're absolutely like about to poop your pants and you get in

the front door and you're like rock roll drop drop. Colon swing to bowel everybody's like we're home baby and you're like, rock, roll, drop, drop, colon, sphincter, bowel. Everybody's like, we're home, baby. And you're just like, ah! And your wife's like, hello. And you're like, I'll say hello in a minute.

And you run to the toilet and get your pants out of the way. But she's doing that on the way out the doorway of a cafe, starting to wiggle down the trail. Oh, my Lord. But I thought better of it as it would be me whom was fined. And so that's where it ends. When you consider it was lunchtime and there was only one table in use, question mark, question mark, question mark,

please avoid using the Hollywood Cafe as they do not deserve anybody's patronage. That's wildly unfair. You're not a customer and they have a customer-only toilet policy. You could have said kids grab a seat and get a couple of slices of food roll. But do they even have a toilet? I'll get a cappuccino. Some places don't. They do.

Right. Yeah. Okay. But was she planning on buying some food? Because usually those bakeries or any place really is toilet for customers only. Kind of people coming in off the street and taking a dump. 100%. But anyway.

I kind of wish they'd done it now. It would have been big in years. Big in years, yeah. Fantastic ability to use the high ground after you were about to take a dump on somebody's floor. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Well, today's silly little pole. How do we feel about pets on the bed? Yes or no?

I'm a massive petter on the bedder. Petter on the bedder. I was once a bed wetter, now I'm a petter on the bed. But some people hate it. Even little cats, they'll be like, no, they stay outside. I don't like pets on the bed. No. We once had pets on a bed

And I hated it A little one rolled over And wouldn't fail out No I hated the cat on the bed Because when they woke up They'd just like Pour at you Dogs on the bed were bad

I don't like any animals on the bed I do love my cat on the bed But this morning It was twenty past four And he put his claw up on my side Yeah no And put a claw into me And I just whacked him off.

Yeah, they know. They know. He knows it's nearly breakfast time. Rolly does it too. Like if he wants to hop on the bed for a little sleep, hops up, finds a snuggle point, goes to sleep. If he wants to hop on the bed for food, he's like, and he makes this noise and wakes us up.

The thing that annoys me is, all right, I just got a California king bed. Massive bed. Yeah. And still the cat is in the middle of where you want to be. And so we're constantly, like, moving. So we're still, like, short on space. Because of the cat.

Yeah, Raleigh, like, comes in. But then there's space, but it's just in the wrong place. Well, there's plenty of space, but he doesn't go for that space. He goes in your space. Maybe you could talk to Celia about making little cat beds. Yeah, or a little cat sort of attachment. But the cat doesn't care about the bed.

The cat cares about you. It just wants the warmth, wants to moderate its warmth off you. Always the legs. Tucked into the crooked legs or between your legs. Get rid of them. No.

Get rid of them. Kick them out. Some responses from people. How do we feel about pets on the bed? Did we give the poll? No, we didn't. Yes, the poll. We've got pets on the bed.

66% of people said yes. And 34% of people said no way. Just too annoying. But it's nice. It's going to be cuddles. No. Okay, well, some feedback from people. Jordan says, what is the point of having a pet if they don't sleep on the bed?

Yeah. What are you doing? They say, also, have you tried telling a cat no? Yeah. It just doesn't work. You can't. Get out of here. This is the same excuse for, I don't know what went wrong with my murderer child.

Yeah, right. Oh, we tried. We tried for like a year at the start of their life and then we just gave up. And I don't know what went wrong. Of course you can tell a cat no. Squid it in the face with a water bottle. Tell a cat no. We can't kick Rolly out because before our Reno's,

the only place we could put a cat flap is into our bedroom. The doors from outside into our bedroom. So if we lock him in the house, it's not fair. He needs access to the toilet. Well, Brooke said, if it's good enough for my partner's rotten bum, it's good enough for those angels. Have a shower. Why is it rotten?

Emma says, cat, yes. Dogs, no. Unless it's small, non-smelly breed, like a schnauzer. Oh, yeah. Schnauzer stink. You'd have to put a ramp up to your bed, wouldn't you, for a schnauzer? Yeah. Stupid.

The dog left hair everywhere, but they do sleep in our room. Another reason a dog should never be in a bedroom. Not even just not on the bed. It's not in the bedroom. Amy has a during the day yes, but overnight no rule. Yeah, right. She's messaged in. Jess says too much maintenance keeping them clean enough.

Can't be bothered cleaning with a fluff. They've got a fluffy dog. Yeah, right. She's messaged in. Jess says, too much maintenance keeping them clean enough. Can't be bothered cleaning with a fluff. They've got a fluffy dog. Renee says, we upgraded our queen to a super king so we could fit the dog. Yeah, the things we do

for our pets. I know. The dog isn't allowed on beds at my parents' house but when I visit the dog I have an arrangement and a secret look and I invite him

onto the bed for a cuddle. Oh, yeah. Like, come on. Oh, and then they say, don't read my name out. If you do read my message out, please don't say my name. My family all listens to your show and I don't want to be outed. Okay, we can't say their name. I didn't even have the name to say.

Their profile picture, they're on a boat. Get them, family. Get them. Get that dog off the bed. Get them. She's in a dress on a boat. Get them. Get them.

Yeah, if you know someone that's on a boat. And their profile picture. And they wear a dress and they've got blonde hair. Get him. Don't let the dog sleep on the bed. The Oscars. God, it keeps giving us a lot of fodder, isn't it? It does.

For entertainment. One moment you might have missed. A small moment, but it's very funny. I don't know why I really, really enjoy this video. There's a video that someone had posted. It's on the red carpet of the Vanity Fair after party, which is the after party. That's the one that you wanted to invite to.

Yeah, apparently tickets are like $100,000. If you're not invited. Oh, right. But celebrities don't have to pay, do they? Absolutely not. I saw a list of all the celebrities that went to this thing. There was like... The hottest.

The hottest celebrities you hadn't thought about in ages. Celebrities I had not heard of because I'm not on the cusp of who's a celebrity doing what. Who's who. Fashion, actors, musicians. Influencers. Yeah, everybody was there. It was insane. Well, the moment before going into the party,

there's this video that someone's captured of Lady Gaga. She's a singer, an actor. You may have heard of her. You might have. And Caitlyn Jenner of Keeping Up

with the Kardashians fame. And they're having this sort of awkward interaction and like, you can see in Lady Gaga's face that she's like, I just want to go

into the party. I don't want to be talking to you. I don't want to be talking to you. I don't want to be talking to you. And the conversation goes like this, like, hi, hi, how are you? I'm good, thank you. And then Caitlin's like, are you spending any time around Malibu anymore, Gaga?

Yes. And then Jenna goes, oh, I haven't seen you at Starbucks in a while. And then Gaga goes, I've switched baristas. And then she walks away. So that's a thing now. That's a thing now.

You say, I've switched baristas. So when people say to you, it's going to be, everyone's going to use this term, people will be like, oh, have you seen Vaughn recently? You'll be like, well, let's just say I've switched baristas. Yeah. A good way of saying, I don't really want to see that. It was absolutely a court, like, making something up, right?

Who just, in her face, like, I've switched baristas. And then walks away. It is absolutely incredible. But do you think Caitlyn Jenner was purposely trying to run into Lady Gaga at Starbucks? Absolutely. I hate to say it, but Caitlyn Jenner is an absolute piece of work. Not a fan. Yeah, she's homophobic and just really backwards politics,

given the privilege she's had to be who she wants to be. Anyway. You would change baristas. Let's just say I would switch baristas. Or you'd maybe go at a different time. Yeah. So we want to put it to you. When did you stop going somewhere to avoid someone?

Like Lady Gaga so clearly has hair. Yeah, because that's what's happened. Yeah. Also, I mean, Starbucks. Why do they have their coffee from Starbucks? I love that we're switching baristas. Like she's going to another boutique little coffee shop. Yeah.

It's just America, right? They love Starbucks. They don't have the coffee culture that we do here. No. Don't they use like syrup? Syrup and milk? Probably. So maybe there would be a time, say, where you break up with someone and they might say

there might even be a cafe or a coffee shop that they go to. You can't go there anymore. You can't go there anymore. Or maybe an awkward encounter with somebody at a retest or. Yeah. Can't shop there anymore. Can't go there again. Or you hook up with someone and you're like,

oh, I can't go there. They work there. Yeah, maybe you hooked up with a gym instructor. Can't go to pump class anymore. Oh, now you have to change gyms. Yeah, now I'm getting all flabby and soft. I can't go back to the gym. He's there.

All right, well, 0800-DARLS-IT-EM. We want to take your calls. You can text as well, 9696. When did you stop going somewhere just to avoid someone? We're having a good old giggle after a very awkward interaction between Lady Gaga and Caitlyn Jenner has come up online and

Caitlyn's like, wow, I don't see you at Starbucks anymore. And Lady Gaga's like, yeah, I switched baristas and left. So clearly Lady Gaga had stopped frequenting the Malibu Starbucks to avoid Caitlyn. To avoid her. and left. So clearly Lady Gaga had stopped frequenting the Malibu Starbucks to avoid Caitlin.

To avoid her. So we asked you when did you stop going somewhere? Somewhere you used to always go just to avoid a specific person.

Yeah, maybe an ex or you're hooked up with someone. Someone you don't like. Yeah. Maybe you did the dirty at work or something. You know, you'd like

really stuffed up at work and now you're constantly avoiding with someone. Someone you don't like. Yeah. Maybe you did the dirty at work or something. You know, you'd like really stuffed up at work and now you're constantly avoiding your boss around town. I slept with, this is a text. I didn't sleep with a guy. No, no. Okay. Well, you're very, wow, you're very defensive there. Oh, no, I get on famously with all the men I've slept with.

Yeah. I slept with this dude years ago and it was the most awful 30 seconds of my life. Now, it could have been you. This could be me. Years later, I run into him at my daughter's daycare car park. He was dropping off his new baby. He laughed and made a joke as I was running late for work and looking like a hot mess.

I took my daughter out of that daycare and put her in another one closer to my home so I never had to see him again. That's major. It was a terrible 30 seconds. But then followed up with a joke. He laughed and made a joke. I'm assuming it was about the fact that she was running late and looking a little frazzled. Oh, dear. Caitlyn Jenner is pestering Lady Gaga, so she's changed baristas.

Yes, she switched baristas. The whole awkward thing caught on camera. We want to know when you've changed your habits, when you stopped going somewhere because you hated someone or you didn't want to run into an ex. Or you couldn't show your face again. Yeah. You embarrassed yourself last time you were there.

Maybe you tried to take a poo on the floor of the Hollywood bakery. I think they'll be avoiding Hollywood bakery on Lincoln Road. And then they can't go there anymore. Some Instagram responses. Sarah said, I now have to avoid our local garden centre. I drive an extra 10 minutes to buy plant babies. Why?

Sarah? No reason given. Why? What did you do? Well, either there was an accident at the plant store or someone sounds like they might have hooked up with someone at the plant store. Hanky Panky and the Hydrangeas.

Also replied saying, I moved to England to avoid seeing my ex-husband. So they left the entire country. Well, you're not going to run into him there, are you? Rachel, what happened? Well, I've been trying a few dating apps over the last year. And one of them is one where they can message you. You don't actually have to match.

But they can, you know know message to say they liked your picture or your profile right um and a guy messaged me and he turned out that he worked at my local like hardware store and he remembered me coming in oh okay full on yeah and i was like i haven't been to that hardware store in over a month. Well, hopefully I'm left and made a mark, you know? And the last time I went was with my kids. All right.

So now when you need, like, you just need to quickly pop by and get some nails or a paintbrush or something, you've got to go all the way to like a big

Mitre 10 or something? Well, it was a big. Oh, gosh. It was a big one. You could probably still avoid them.

This is more and more complimentary. So you've got to go to a big Bunnings. You've got to go to a big Bunnings now gosh. She has a big one. She's a big one. More and more. So you've got to go to a big Bunnings. You've got to go to a big Bunnings now. Is that what you're doing? I do, and it's like twice the distance away. It's very annoying. Oh, wow. All right, Rachel, thanks for your call.

Anonymous, who are you avoiding? Oh, we've lost. Was it a boing? Oh, we've got a boing. Some messages in. Our dog played with another dog while out walking during lockdown. The other owner went ballistic. Insta stalked us, complained to our employees about how our dog might give her COVID.

We didn't walk the dog around the neighborhood for months afterwards. Get a grip. Goodness me. That's crazy. I used to date a grip. Goodness me. That's crazy. I used to date a girl. We broke up and she said about dating my cousin straight away. So now I just don't see him anymore. I'm avoiding family catch-ups on that side of things.

Avoid Christmas. Yeah, just avoid Christmas now for this awkward interaction. I avoid the entire suburb of Mount Albert in Auckland because of a bad job experience. I had the family I was nannying for Oh really? You don't want to run into them so they just avoid the whole thing I change doctors because a woman I knew

got a job as a receptionist and she was a terrible gossip I didn't want her talking about my bits She didn't know all about your bits, your rashy bits Your bits and your pieces Constantly rashy Stopped going to the closest gas station in my house because of a bad date with a cashier. Could you get a staff discount though?

Would he give you a coupon? I don't know if it was a bad date. Oh God, yeah. I'm just saying with fuel prices, maybe just have a few more bad dates to get five cents off a litre. Yeah, that'd be good. Just an idea. I mean, it all adds up, doesn't it? It all adds up, yeah.

I avoid a self-service car wash as I ask the guy that works there to change a note to coins and each time I went, he'd look out for my car and I wouldn't stop hitting on me

for the entire duration of my car wash. Oh, give him a squirt with the soapy... Yeah, turn it to high-pressure soap. Yeah, blast him away. Give him a bit of that.

I even said I had a boyfriend. That didn't stop him. I just wanted to wash my car in bloody peace. Well, so you're on a timer as well. I even said I had a boyfriend. That didn't stop him. I just wanted to wash my car in bloody peace. So you're on a timer as well. You haven't got time for chit-chat. There's no time for flirting. No.

You've got 60 seconds. I'm only putting in a dollar because you reckon you can get it done in that time. You don't need to get half of your car done in that time. I can foam a whole car in a minute. Oh, same. No doubt. Like the foam brush. Yeah, I can foam a whole car in a minute.

You can foam a whole car? You're going to miss the lower part of the driver's side door. No, I can do it. You're going to finish it. You're going to do the rinse off and you're going to notice some big dusty streaks where you didn't give it a thorough scrub. They do stupid sports like judo at the Olympics. They should do car washing.

Car washing. But you know what you do with the car wash? When it's squirting the foam, you go around and you rub it just quickly and then when it stops and it stops foaming, you can go back and use the existing foam. Yeah, good from you. Good idea. That's what I do

with the brush. Don't pay for another brush foam. He's a minute guy as well. I'm a minute guy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Hey, you on the phone

I bet I can guess your mum's name. See, Vaughan, you can sing. I'm hearing it there in that jingle. Yeah, that's perfect, isn't it? That's why Vaughn will be providing that.

Yeah, for singing. If you don't can guess your mum's name, we welcome Casey to the show. Good morning, Casey. Morning. All right, Vaughn now has five questions to ask you about your mum, and then we'll have 15 seconds to guess her name if he can do that. $100 cash. Okay.

Casey, is it C-A-S-E-Y for you? C-A-S-E-Y? Okay. C-A-S-E-Y. C-A-S-E-Y. Okay. Casey, is it C-A-S-E-Y for you? C-A-S-S-E-Y? C-A-S-E-Y. C-A-S-E-Y. Are you American? I'm Canadian. Canadian. Oh! Is that gonna be like, is that gonna throw you because it's

not gonna be, you know, like your traditional It might not be. Your traditional Kiwi Wahine. Okay. Do you know any like your traditional. It might not be. Your traditional Kiwi wahine. Oh, no. What? Do you know any traditional Canadian mum's names? Patricia. Margaret.

Heather. There's always a Margaret. Heather. Hi, I'm Heather. Oh, this will be great. You might lose today. Hey, Casey's mum might not be Canadian. I'm just throwing that in there.

Yeah, that's kind of... Oh, yeah. I'm going to get rid of one of my questions that I had. And I'm going to ask you... Is mum Canadian or, like, is dad Canadian and you just moved back here because mum's originally from New Zealand? What's the...

What's the tie? Can I give details or just yes or no? Details. You can give details. Yeah. So my parents are not from Canada. Okay. They're from England.

Oh. So your parents are British and you... So you've got a Canadian accent. You obviously grew up in Canada. Yeah. Yeah, I was born and raised in Canada. I just moved here a couple of years ago. So your parents are a Canadian accent. You obviously grew up in Canada. Yeah. Yeah, I was born and raised in Canada. I just moved here a couple of years ago. So your parents are still in Canada?

Yes. But originally from England? Yes. Okay. Oh, wow. But see, I don't think that's... So maybe we're not going here to rage. Yeah, but Margaret is going to be Margaret.

Margaret. Or Margaret. Elizabeth. Margaret. Elizabeth. Margaret. Elizabeth. I wonder if Casey's posh. Canada is a Commonwealth country. It is, yeah, absolutely.

So we might be influenced the same way with our mother's names from England. So you're going to put some traditional English names down there on your list? Are you just writing all the royals' names? I'm writing a few royals. I'll put Diana. Diana, yeah.

R.I.P. Oh, yeah. Cheers to Lady Di. It's always cheers to Lady Di. Always cheers to Lady Di. Raise a glass. Raise a glass. Mind you, this week, the Diana, the stage show musical that got turned into a movie

won a Razzie. Oh, did it? For like the worst one. Oh, it's so good so royal family it's it's crazy um okay uh i got a diana i got an elizabeth got a fergie fergie is your mom's name the queen of Fergie the queen of the black eyed peas Fergalicious put down Fergie

yeah put down Fergalicious as a separate yeah I might go Fergie slash Fergalicious I mean you're wasting valuable time in these 15 seconds she's also known as the Duchess

yeah Fergie and Fergie Fergie from the black eyed peas real name was Stacey Ferguson yes put down Stacey

Stacey's a young nah I don't know if that's nah it's not Stacey alright next Yes. Put down Stacey. Stacey's a young now. I don't know if that's Stacey. Nah, it's not Stacey. All right, next question. We don't know how old her mum is. What's your mum's favourite season? She's in Canada. They have wild seasons, don't they?

Hot, hot summers. Golden crisp autumns. Freezing cold winters. Yeah, her favourite season is winter. Oh, okay. She lives in Canada Bit of a skier, maybe Oh yeah, what are some famous skiers?

Annalise Annalise Coburg That's the only famous skier I know What about people who don't like the sun? The sun? People that don't like the sun? Yeah Vampires Vampires

Kirsten Stewart Kirsten Is she a Kirsten? She's a Kirsten. Kirsten Stewart. Kirsten. Is she a Kirsten? She's a Kirsten. A Kirsten, yeah. Put that down. Imagine if her mother's name is Kirsten.

Kirsten Stewart was in thing. Diana. Who was in Interview with the Vampire? Kirsten Dunst. So it could be a Kirsten. Yeah. I think that's too young. Do you want to chuck a Naomi on there?

Because Naomi also played Diana. Lady Diana. Naomi Watts. Naomi Watts. Okay think that's too young. Do you want to chuck a Naomi on there? Because Naomi also played Diana, Lady Diana. Naomi Watts. Naomi Watts. Okay, that's going back. Again, I think your names are too young here. Can you just mute the microphone for a minute? Oh, my God. I felt silenced.

Yeah. Ben, I was trying to keep connected with Casey. No, I didn't hear you a little. Oh, you didn't hear what we were saying. Casey, they just had a little boys liaison in the corner. I have no idea what it's about. I wasn't part of it. But somehow it's put a name on this list.

Two names on the list, but as individuals. Fiona, because she was Shrek, wasn't she? She was into the list, but as individuals. Fiona, because she was Shrek, wasn't she? She was into the swamps. I feel like you've got to go more tap into some of those British TV shows. Well, that's what I'm going to get to next.

What's mum's favourite sort of movie? Sound of Music. Sound of Music. Julie. What were the other Von Trapp children's names? Sound of Music. Sound of Music. Oh, Julie. Julie, yeah. What were the other Von Trapp children's names? How do you solve a problem like Maria? Do I have Maria on there? Oh, yeah, put down Maria.

Yep. Helga. What is it? Nope, I stopped. I stopped. What about, like, your classic Coronation Street names? Deirdre. Deirdre.

And I don't know any others. Deirdre and... Betty. Gail. Gail? Oh, yeah. I think I've known her. So you think it's Gail.

Okay. I know we asked her. She said Sound of Music and you were just like, Coronation Street. No, but I'm just thinking about like the British names. Sound of Music. Can you put a Jeanette onation Street. No, but I'm just thinking about the British names. Sound of Music. Can you put a Jeanette on there? Because that is my mother-in-law, and she is a massive fan of Sound of Music.

Okay, I can do that. What's Innocent? She's telling us to hurry up. Okay, okay, okay. Why did you send that? Because that doesn't make him hurry up. Now he'll go slower. You've got to hurry up. What's your mum's. Why did you send that? Because that doesn't make him hurry up. Now he'll go slower. You know how to hurry up.

What's your mum's favourite? How does your mum have her coffee? With cream and sugar. Cream and sugar. Like a creamer. Like she says she's a black coffee

and then she cracks up, she puts the creamer in. Yeah, most North Americans do. It's gross. Yeah, it is gross. Polar. I think American coffee in general is pretty... Yeah, it's not gross. Yeah, it is gross. Parlor. I think American coffee in general is pretty.

Yeah, it's filthy. It's not all. Yeah, Casey, now that you're in New Zealand, you'll know. This is where it's at. It is. Okay. And how old is mum? What's mum's age bracket?

She is 62. 62. So born in 19... Okay. See, I still think some of those names you've got there are very young for a 62-year-old. I don't have a good feeling about this.

Patsy's 62 this year. I mean, I hate to say it, but you might want to whack a Patsy on there. You know, it's always good to have a Patsy on there. She may have to whack a Patsy to us. Far out. Sorry, Mum. We've got a special relationship. You know, he was always good to have a patsy on there. She made a whack-a-patsy to us. Far out. Sorry, mum. We've got a special relationship.

Okay, a couple more names going on the list there. Now, Casey, Vaughan will have 15 seconds to guess your mum's name. If you hear your mum's name, yell out, Stop, that's my mum's name. Vaughan Smith, are you ready? I'm going to put one more. I'm going to put a brawn one. Brawny. Put a chuck of brawny on there. Okay, Vaughan, your time starts now.

Heather, Anna, Victoria, Diana, Elizabeth, Fergie, Fergalicious, Beatrice, Stacey, Annalise, Kristen, Kirsten, Naomi, Jacqueline, Joanne, Fiona, Julia. Wait, Kristen, Kirsten, Naomi, Jacqueline, Joanne, Fiona, Julia. Wait, which one? Jacqueline?

Jacqueline? I'm guessing by the look on their faces, that is the one that they had their little boys meeting in the corner about. You know a Jackie that doesn't like the sun. I do. Amazing. Never liked the sun. I do. Amazing. Never liked the sun. Jacqueline.

That was supposed to be an absolute, like, absolute niche reference. Casey, that was just for you, that whole thing. Bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Okay, so Jacqueline. Jacqueline. Jacqueline. Jacqueline and?

Marcus. Does she go by Jackie? No, she does. But not so often. She's more of a Jacqueline. Steve. I'm feeling a Steve. Jackie and Steve.

That's a British. British. Bob. What was the dad's name last time? You picked Steve last time. Oh, it was Steve last week. I can't get you off of Steve. Once you get on a Steve, come on.

You know me. You've got to peel me off of Steve. If you love Steve so much, why don't you marry him? Paul. I'm feeling Paul. Paul and Jackie. You know, like a John. What about a John?

That's a classic British name. My dad's a John. British. Yeah. John a John. British? John, Paul, Ringo, George. Paul and Jackie. Paul and Jackie. With their Canadian daughter, Casey.

And that creamer. You feeling that? Okay. Casey. Peter and Jackie. Casey, what's your dad's name? Duncan. Duncan. Oh, Ghana. Ghana.

It's your dad's Duncan Ghana. Casey, unfortunately, we didn't get your dad's name, but we did get your mum's name, Jacqueline. Doesn't love the sun, but $100 is yours, Casey. Congratulations. Congratulations. Awesome. Thank you so much. All right, next on the show,

Hayley's version of Will Smith's song, Men in Black. I mean, when was the last time you heard that on the radio? Big old slap. Big old slap. Is next. Hayley's version. Woo! Songs sung with different lines.

Wow, we couldn't wait till Friday. The news is hot. The news is so hot about Will Smith slapping Chris Rock in the face after Will

Smith made, after Chris Rock made a joke about Will Smith's wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. Got up there and smacked her.

Yeah. Smacked him. Smacked him. Females were not smacked. No, females were smacked. Let me clarify. I'm getting my story mixed.

So, yeah, we're bringing Hayley's version forward. Today's version is of the hit song Men in Black from the first film written by Will Smith himself. Yeah. And covered in an Air New Zealand safety video featuring people in black. Oh, my God. Israel Dagg.

That was the worst one. It was one of the worst ones. I would call it a national embarrassment. So let's dive in. I've got some backup singers here. Okay. This could possibly... And backup clappers.

I hope we don't ruin this. This is Hayley's version of Men in Black. This is Big Ol' Slap. Here we go. Here comes the Big Ol' Slap. It's the guy from Hitch. Smacking like a... I wouldn't say it.

Here we go. Here comes the Big Ol' Sl it. I wouldn't say it. Here we go. Here comes a big old slap because my wife's offended. Yeah. This year's Oscars will whack. Remember that. Will Smith took the stage and gave Chris Rock a big slap. Turned his back to leave. We're in disbelief

hoping that what we just saw we did not see. Chris was presenting and made a bad joke about Will's wife Jada and the fire was stoked. No sooner was it said Will was out of his seat, stepped up, drew back and whacked right on the cheek The room fell silent, this Hollywood giant was laughing One second, then the next he turned violent Don't know about his mum, but Chris looks scared

Looks like he's moving with his auntie and uncle in Bel Air Here comes a big ol' slap One will all remember. Good chorus. Here comes a big old slap. A person my wife's offended. While the world was watching on the edge of the couch, he yells, take my wife's name out your effing mouth.

The audience laughs, huh, surely it's a bit. Then he yells it again and everyone thinks, shit, tension swell, it's awkward as hell. Worse than John Travolta trying to say Idina Menzel. Worse than Jennifer Lawrence falling flat on her face. Worse than Moonlight thinking they had won first place. Speculations fly, this can't be real. Any second now, Ashton Kutcher will reveal you got punked.

Or it's a publicity stunt for a brand new film starring Emily Blunt, right? Wrong, that's not the case. The Fresh Prince slapped Marty the Zebra in the face. Well, maybe that's the last we'll hear of him. Oh no, best actor, Will Smith wins. Ah, ah, here comes a big old slap. One we'll all remember. Here comes a big old slap.

Bit like the fledge bitch Cause my wife's offended Let me see you make a post about it Make a post about it Make a post about it Come on then let me see you do Oprah about it Do Oprah about it Do Oprah about it Come on I wanna see all the memes about it

All the memes about it All the memes about it Come on I wanna use it as a gif Now scream. Good. Here comes a big old slap. One will I remember. Here comes a big old slap.

Because my wife's offended. That's Hayley's version. That was a goodie. Yes. Good chorus work, guys. Good chorus work. Great stuff. Great stuff.

God, I don't know how this is going to... He's going to live it down. It's going to be around in history for a long time, that slap. Great work. I did good clapping too. You did good clapping. I thought after the first chorus you were going to join in on that second chorus.

No, he was focusing on the claps. Yeah. Focusing on the claps. You did great claps. One thing at a time, guys. He can't clap very well. It's my backup group. Play.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A simple tweet has set the internet ablaze, as it so often does. The tweet that went viral said, middle-aged Twitter, bracket, 22 to 25, bracket, is so interesting. Middle-aged Twitter. Are people younger than 28 on Twitter? I don't know.

Kids. I don't know who's on Twitter. Teenagers, 18 and 19 and stuff, they'd be on the Twits still. I don't think. Kids. I don't know who's on Twitter. Teenagers, 18 and 19 and stuff, they'd be on the Twits still. I don't think anyone uses Twitter anymore. But the wild thing about this is not the term middle-aged Twitter.

It's the fact that they think middle-aged is 22 to 25. And so now the internet's debating what age is middle-aged. Yeah, people are going like, hang on, I mean, that's obviously wrong. 22 to 25 is still your youths.

To me, that's a quarter-life crisis. Yeah, absolutely. 25 is, yeah. That's, yeah, that's a quarter-life crisis. Yeah, absolutely. 25 is. That's, yeah, oh my God, what am I doing with my life? What am I doing? Where do I want to go? I shouldn't have done that at uni. Shouldn't have done that.

That was a mistake. Now I'm going to go again. I'm behind. Da-da-da-da. Everyone's having babies. So now people are debating. And then the dictionary definition, which is always right, of middle age is the period of your life usually considered to be from about 45 to 60 years old.

Now, even that to me, 45, seems outrageous. Well, my mother called me middle-aged when I turned 40. Did she? Yeah, and I said, well, that makes you a geriatric. Sit down. Yeah, but she said that's when they turned 40, that was what was considered middle age. No, geriatric women are... 35. Yeah, 35 and over. That's pregnancies.

Once you're over 35, it's called a geriatric pregnancy. Geriatric pregnancy. They need a rebrand. My mother-in-law told me that she was in hospital at 35, having her fifth child, and then read the sign and was like, beg your pardon? Geriatric.

So now they're saying, absolutely absolutely it's not 22 to 25. They think middle age is closer to 48 is what they're saying nowadays. Yeah, because most people would live to, you know, like late 70s, 80s. Yeah, 96, right. Is that right? Yes, 96. And so 48 being the middle of 96. God, I'm not going to have enough Kiwi saver if that's how long I've got to.

They say that 30 to 47 is just no man's land. There's no term for it. We're just sort of like floating around until we get old. But don't they say 60 is the new 40? 60 is the new 40? Yeah. So 30 is the new 10. Yes!

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, a bit of a disaster yesterday. I was driving my Mazda 3 2013. Lovely leather interiors. And I tell you what, the reason I bought it off of my friend, comedian Pax Asadi, was because it has the most amazing sound system. And we'll come back to this. Right, okay.

Very, very good sound system. So yesterday I popped out to QMU to go to the supermarket. I was driving back and I heard a sound, a familiar sound. And then I turned the corner onto the back roads of QMU and I heard a very familiar sound of... Oh, flat tyre. Flat tyre. Have you ever had a tyre blow out when you're going 100 k's? No, thankfully. I have.

It's not fun. No, I haven't. It's not fun. No. Who was it that had their tyre roll past them? That wasn't you, was it? I just... No.

Why are they driving? They were driving and they were just like, weird tyre, and then the back right hand of their car went backwards and then they spun around. Oh,, tyre, and then the back right hand of their car went, eh, backwards, and then they spun around. Oh, my God, no. Horrible. Anyway, so I pulled over to the side, like the side of this kind of rural back road,

and I was like, oh, what a pain, but also not a problem. I do know how to change a tyre. C'est la vie. It's going to be all right. And then so I pulled over, put my hazards on, got out of the car, went into the back, into the boot, and there's a little, in Mazdas there's this little side thing, and I was like,

I hope there's a jack here. I actually didn't check when I bought it off of my friend, Pac Society, who sold me the car. Yep, comedian Pac Society. Comedian Pac Society. I want his name to stick in our minds. So I pulled this little contraption, and there it was, the jack and the kind of wrench and all that kind of stuff.

I was like, great. I'll just have to put the space saver on for a little bit and I'll deal with this another day. I had a lot on yesterday. It was a busy day. I had two meetings. I was working on my Hayley's version, of course. Lots to do. Anyway, so then I took out all my stuff from the boot.

There's always stuff in my boot. And I lifted up the flap where the where the tire is supposed to be no tire can you even get a warrant can you even get a warrant without it i just got a warrant it's not too late you must be able to because they would have checked that oh yeah i don't know someone said this to me i was sharing the whole thing on my instagram stories of course because i'm always here for the content. Yeah. I lifted it up and then, yeah, there was this kind of polystyrene filler that had all these cutouts.

And I was like, what's this? And I lifted that where the compartment where the space saver is supposed to go. And in its place was like all this stuff for this excellent sound system that Pax Asadi had installed in the car before he sold it to me. So he put in a sound system, the same sound system you're using and loving. Pax Asadi, New Zealand comedian Pax Asadi. You might have seen him on Raised by Refugees, also available on Neon.

Did he cut you a deal with this car? No, absolutely not. Did you do your research? Did you take it to get a mechanical check? Were they checked for all of this? We're putting this on PAX. We're not putting this on me. Okay. So what would you say to PAX?

You should have told me there wasn't a spare tyre. PAX, what would you say to that? I would say, Hayley Sproul, because we've got him on the phone, that it's your responsibility when you're buying a car to check all the elements of the car and make sure you're happy before you buy it. Is that not correct, Hayley Sprout?

Caveat emptor. There's even a Latin phrase for let the buyer beware. I'm sorry. Come and come and come. If I was buying this, Pax Asadi, I consider you a dear friend. If I was buying this off of some random stranger, I would have done my due diligence because I don't trust them. But I trust you as a dear friend.

I would have expected you. But also, you are a dear friend of mine. And you know I am of Iranian descent. And you know you can never trust an Iranian man when buying a car. You know this information. Okay. I didn't take these things into account. That is on you. That is on your head. So where

is the space saver? Where did you put it? Well, I don't know where the I don't know what the deal is with the space saver but okay, I did take the tyre. Also, Hayley, you're a wealthy, wealthy, we all know you're a wealthy woman, right? You could have just called Javier, your manservant,

to come pick you up when you were stuck in CUNY. Javier was busy, Pax. I had to do this all on my own. Well, what about Enrique? I should have called Enrique. Yeah, you should have. I don't have servants that look after me in this case. I did take the tyre.

Where is it? I want it. I paid you. Well, I want it. I paid you. Well, I sold it. I'm so sorry. I sold it to a kindergarten. They made a swing out of it. Well, their last tyre swing got stolen. Oh, my gosh.

So I sold them a tyre so they could make a tyre swing. This local kindergarten is swinging on my space over. I also did steal their tyre swing and sold it to another kindergarten. He's running a lucrative tyre swing pyramid scheme. I just saw it, Paxton. This is information that you pass on when you buy a car. And all you did when I was buying it, Paxton, was like, oh, the sound system, Hayley.

Oh, the sound system. Listen to this. Listen to this. Not mentioning that the cost of the sound system means that I can't have a spare tyre. Do you remember when I screamed at you when you tried to open the boot as well?

It's all making sense now. Oh, okay. It's all clicking into place. Well, I have to say, the bill ended up being hefty. I had to call my road assistance, which was free on my insurance. I got towed from there

back to Kiumiu to Bridgestone Tyres, who then told me, and I will admit this is on me, my front two tyres were basically balled and no wonder they burst. That sounds like a Pax thing, though, too. I will admit this is on me, my front two tyres were basically bald and no wonder they burst. That sounds like a Pax thing though too.

I feel, actually Pax, you sold me a car. Was that a sledge or lawn? Which white guy was that? This is a sledge on me. They did say to me, your tyres are dangerously bald. Pax, I've only owned this car for a year and tyres last longer than that. So you, not only

have you sold me a car that doesn't have a you, not only have you sold me a car that doesn't have a space saver tyre, you sold me a dangerous vehicle. I was a ticking time bomb. Are you trying to imply that I was trying to put you in danger to take your spot as host of Have You Been Playing A Pitcher? You want to host my show. Is that what you're implying?

I am implying that. I feel like, I hope our relationship, our friendship isn't damaged after this. Oh, it's irreversibly damaged. I had to buy two new tyres. I'm $600 short and you're getting the invoice, mate. It's okay. We're both wealthy people.

It's fine. Send it my way. Pax, thanks so much for joining us this morning. Thanks, Pax. Bye, Hayley. I love you, Hayley. Love you too. This is why you don't buy a car off a friend or sell to a friend.

You don't buy a car off a friend. Do your due diligence. Especially an Iranian friend friend Let this be a warning to you New Zealand Yes Every Thursday it's $100,000 Thursday Soundkeeper Owls is in Hello $100,000 Thursday. Yes. Every Thursday, it's $100,000 Thursday. Soundkeeper Al's is in. Hello. $100,000 tax-free.

Tax. Get that tax man away from it. That's sexy. This is prize money. This isn't America where they tax you a lot of winnings. No. They do not. They do.

Oh, no. Like, if you won, like, $50 million, you can choose to get it in installments, and you get taxed on it as well. You get it in installments, but you take... No, you get it in installments, or you can take the whole amount, but you take, like, half of it.

Yeah. Oh, my word. Not here, though. $100,000. Hey, all thanks to Neon as well. You can sign up for your free 14-day trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply.

Joining us this morning is Katie. Good morning, Katie. Hi, guys. How are you? Good, thank you. Good. Now, Katie, Katie, what would you spend this $100,000 on if you win? Well, I fully forgot it was $100,000 today.

This is good news. Yeah, probably. It's my mum's birthday today, so probably get her a quite nice present. It's my dad's birthday today, too. Aw. Happy birthday, dad. Wait, is your nice present. It's my dad's birthday today, too. It's your mum. Fletcher's dad. Could be.

Are they the same person? Twins? They might be twins. They might be twins. They could be. Were you actually born in England? No. Lucky, because if they were your cousins, then you can't enter Secret Sound. Oh, yes.

No family or friends, no. So, Katie, with $100,000, you buy your mum a gift. That's one hell of a gift. And probably also put most of it towards a house deposit, I would say. Yes, yeah, good stuff, good stuff. All right, well, Katie, $100,000 is yours if you can tell us what this sound is. No pressure. What do you think it is?

It's just $100,000. Don't worry about it. Isn't somebody like setting a timer? Like, you know those desk timers and you kind of wind them? Oh, like ones you put in the kitchen? Yeah, like those, like the egg timer ones.

The egg timer, yeah. Yeah, like one of those the kitchen. Yeah, like those, like the egg timer ones. The egg timer, yeah. Yeah, like one of those disc ones. Yeah, okay. Have you looked at the clues on Instagram, Katie? I have, and I mean, I thought it made sense for like the office ones, because in offices they kind of run to a time sometimes. I mean, for the movies, Pitch Perfect, like music, it's on beat, it's on time.

And then 13 Going on 30 is like age, which is like back in time. And then the Miss Congeniality, I kind of just thought, oh, it's more like a throwback movie, so hopefully that will do it. Why not? Yeah, we'll see.

Okay. Love it. I just love it when they not? Yeah, we'll see. Okay. Okay. Love it. I just love it when they try, look at my clues. Yeah. Cryptic little clues. Well, Katie, happy birthday to your mother. Sounded like an insult.

Oops, my microphone was off. Sounded like an insult. Happy birthday to your mother. I'm trying to do it in a suspenseful way. Thank you. Happy birthday to your mother. To your mother. Your filthy animal.

Katie? Yeah? I'd like to say that is not the secret sound. Oh, Katie. Hard luck. Okay, thank you guys anyway. All right, back to the drawing board. Eight o'clock is your next chance.

ZM's $100,000 secret sound. $100,000 Thursday. Yeah, it's big every Thursday. It's a $100,000 Thursday. All thanks to Neon. You can watch TV series and movies handpicked for Kiwis. Buy Kiwis on Neon. Do you know what I'm excited about?

And it'll definitely be coming to Neon because they get all the HBO stuff. They're doing The Staircase. Oh? You know that? This was the wildest. I listened to a podcast. It was like Tiger King. I heard a podcast about it.

Then there was a movie about it. Yeah. And now there's going to be a dramatisation of it. Yeah, an HBO show. This woman's... It's not out for a few months, eh? Yeah.

She falls down the stairs and then they blame the husband. Yes. And then they blame an owl. Yes. No, no, the owl... No, no, no. The owl's a footnote. At the end of the story, an owl expert

is like, have you considered owls? And everyone's like, big part? He's like, owls can fly silently and they attack people with scopes. And everyone's like, the husband did it. With the blow poker. Are you sure? Wild, like great true crime. The trailer's out. It's got Colin Firth and Tony Collette.

Oh, what a duo. And that other guy, Michael someone, who's in everything, who's a great actor as well. I forget his name. Michael someone. The investigator. Michael someone. Or the son.

The lawyer. Starring Michael someone. The guy that was in, oh, I'll find his name. But anyway, that's going to be coming. No, find it. Because the people are going to be like, who is that? And it's going to annoy everyone all day. Now there's the pressure of Googling quickly. Oh, we were ahead of time. Oh, no, we're going to be coming. Find it, because the people are going to be like, who is it? And it's going to annoy everyone all day. Now there's the pressure of Googling quickly.

Oh, we were ahead of time. Oh, no, we're great at Googling. It is. Sophie Turner's in it. Oh, that's good. Good news. Good cast. Michael Cera.

Harrison Ford's in it. What's Harrison Ford doing? Parker Posey's in it. He's acting. What do you mean, what's he doing? He's doing his job. Wait, are you talking about Michael Stuhlbarg? Yeah, that guy.

Niche reference. Not everybody knows him. He's been in a few things, but he's not like a man. He's a great actor. All right. Well, anyway, I'm sure that'll be coming. Anyway, my point is, Neon's got great stuff on it. Yes, it does.

Great point. Thank you. And it's $100,000 Thursday. And joining us is Karina. Good morning, Karina. Oh, hello. Good morning, Karina. Oh, hello. Good morning. Wow.

I'm surprised. Now, what would you do with $100,000? That's the big question because it's $100,000 Thursday. I know. I don't actually know, but I'm a student, so it would probably just help with general life. Booze. That is a lot of booze.

That is a lot of booze. A lot of booze. A lot of books. If you add it all up over three years, sometimes four years, $100,000, you'll barely make it. Well, yeah, exactly. Pay off your student loan, you'll probably be even by the time you finish. All right, well, Karina, the secret sound,

this is the sound that we need you to identify. $100,000 is yours. What is it, if you can tell us correctly. Well, I think it's individual yogurt puddles being snapped apart from each other. Oh, that's a great guess. I remember being a young boy at the supermarket. Do you remember? And the lady telling me off for breaking open the six packs. Yeah, not for individual resale.

Not for individual resale. Because it was so much fun. Do you remember you used to hang them on the outside of the shopping trolley? Still do. Still do. Resale. Not for individual resale. Because it was so much fun. Do you remember you used to hang them on the outside of the shopping trolley? Still do. Still do. Pop them up there. Love that.

Now bananas in a trolley. Bananas like that in a trolley indicated you were up for it. What? Yogurt like that in a trolley indicated you've got kids at home, so leave me alone. Bananas hanging in a trolley means you're D to go. They've got to be a certain way, don't they? Yeah, otherwise they'll just fall off each other.

Yeah. No, no, it's bananas curve up. Yeah. Means you're into it. I'm up. Oh, my gosh. You're up for it. Find love in the grocery aisle. Yeah.

Simply place a single banana in your trolley to show that you're ready to mingle. A single banana? No one's buying a single banana. I'm not going to talk to a freak that's buying a single banana in your trolley to show that you're ready to mingle. A single banana? No one's buying a single banana. I'm not going to talk to a freak that's buying a single banana. That's sus. Who buys one banana? Karina.

Very sus. We digress. I've never heard the banana thing, to be honest. Try it. Try it. Well, hey. Bananas up. Do you want to hear the Urban Dictionary?

Oh, my God. Sorry, Katrina. A phrase common in the gay community means that one is publicly interested in anonymous hookups. It refers to the practice of one turning one's banana bunch curved upwards in the shopping cart at the grocery store. This means that the cart pusher is looking to get his cart pushed. Sounds right up your alley, Karina.

No wonder I get followed to the car. Yeah, all the time. by all those hot gay men. You're just buying one banana there. I'm buying a bunch of banana, but I'm going to curve up. Okay. Okay, great. Lovely. Els, get us out of here.

I will. Katrina, let's get down to it. Karina. Let's get down to it. Bananas up. Your guess wasn't even a banana. You're locking in yogurt bottles. Pottles.

Pottles. Pottles. Snapping. Yes, yes, locking right in. All right. Great guess, but that is not the secret sound. Unlucky. Unlucky. Sorry, Karina.