ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 31st October 2022

Episode Date: October 30, 2022

Reduced to Clear  Top 6: Alexa  Vaughans Fly Machines  Silly Little Poll!  Hayleys Halloween  How to end the party  Hayleys Perfume  Monday Maestro's!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Cheers to McCafe. Great barista made coffee on the go. I normally do that. We don't need you. But you're not here, you've got COVID-19.

You're no longer our fearless leader. We are co-leaders. Yeah. And that's never gone wrong. We sound like the Green Party. We are. Make your mind up. Pick one fucking leader, you know?

And we've got one man, one woman, and one Maori amongst the two of us. Oh, right. Why don't you include everybody? Why don't you have 30 leaders then? Have someone from every community. A gaggle of us. Oh, right. Why don't you include everybody? Why don't you have 30 leaders then? Have someone from every community. A gaggle of leaders. Yeah. Nothing will get done.

Now, why aren't you here? COVID. Got COVID again. Spoiler alert. COVID again. Yeah. Not as bad this time, would you say, at this stage of proceedings?

Yeah, we talk about this in the podcast, but yeah, I wouldn't even know. I wouldn't have even known. Are you allowed? Because I didn't realise this. A friend of mine had COVID recently. She went and walked her dog. Yeah, I didn't know that either,

even when I got it the first time. But yeah, you're allowed out. You just got to wear a mask. You're not allowed to go, like you wouldn't go to the supermarket and stuff, but you're allowed to go outside and just distance and wear a mask. You know what I bet people are.

100%. Yeah. What? You don't even, like, people don't even register their case. Did you register your case? I've registered. Yeah, apparently. It's really spiked the last couple of weeks.

It's a bit of an explosion. I haven't received my notification that someone I've been in Bluetooth vicinity of. I think I might have deleted my COVID tracker. I don't use that. Oh, okay. You don't use that anymore? Sweet. Just me. Just me doing my part then. Cool. Open it in a long time. Record a visit. Sweet.

Where? Where to? Everywhere else we were going beforehand? Okay. Yeah. Spoiler alert. It's everywhere at the moment. Happy Halloween. Yeah. Scary, spooky time. I was doing anything? Reading. Well, you'll hear about my Halloween plans. Coming up. In the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Scary, spooky time. I was doing anything. Reading.

Well, you'll hear about my Halloween plans. Coming up. In the podcast. Yeah, I think the girls want to go trick-or-treating tonight. I'm not 100% sure. What do you do there because you live in the middle of fucking nowhere? No, we go to the local suburbs. It's the best of both worlds. We don't have to give any candy, but we get to get candy.

Right. Do you go to the rich suburbs? Wow, yeah. The new suburbs, just the ones with lots of young families are the best ones to go to because everybody's prepped for it. Hey, I listened to another episode of our podcast, Cautionary Tales with Tim Harford. Oh, his voice.

He did an episode about, like, drug-spiking Halloween candy. Ooh. You know how it's, like, this big? It's called, like, it's called like the, oh, there's a name for it. You. Urban legend. No, it's where you get a sadistic pleasure out of ruining something for somebody else.

You're a masochist. Yeah, like a masochist. Seder masochist. Halloween masochisms. Masochism. Maka. Masochism. Macachinos. Halloween Maxisms That basically that people would Poison candy or drug Them more It's never happened

He delves into it it's a really good episode It's called cautionary tales this podcast Remember there were pins in the strawberries A couple of years ago Oh that happened Schadenfreude Meaning damage or harm and the strawberries a couple of years ago. Yeah, but that wasn't. Oh. Oh. Schadenfreude, meaning damage or harm. And schaden is German for damage or harm, and freude is joy.

So it makes sense that schadenfreude means joy over harm or misfortune, suffering by another. Wow. So, yeah, and he talks about how, you know, like, oh, these kids had lollies dosed an ant killer. And it was like this urban legend that you had to watch out and test the candies and stuff. And he's like, if you look into the stories where it did happen, I don't want to ruin the podcast for anybody who might listen to it. No, please ruin it. We want them to listen to our podcast.

One of the kids died. He had anthrax or something. No, cyanide. Powdered cyanide in the top of like a fizzy stick. His dad killed him for insurance purposes. Oh my God. What a dick. I think that's the scientific term for someone that enjoys watching other people be in pain.

Yeah. A dick. Because he thought he could get away with it because he said, oh, it's so well documented, all of these cases of people getting poisoned by strangers on Halloween. But it's not. It's this urban legend that never has. and one other one where this kid was like my candy's got ant killer on it it was a prank he played on his parents but his parents reacted so poorly to it he could he was too scared to tell them it was a joke oh dear so they like put it

out and the papers wrote articles about it he was in too deep and everybody recalled the candy and they all like binned candy en masse and then like like years later, he was like, I've got something. I've got to get this off my chest. It's killing me. I was the one that put ant poison on the candy because I wanted more candy and I thought you might get me more candy. Oh, dear. And then it got out of control. So, yeah, really fascinating, really fascinating little Halloween themed podcast recommendation there from me to you.

Cautionary Tales with Tim Harford, who's an Englishman with a very, very lovely voice. Wow. Anyway, not right now, because you've got another podcast on your hands. This podcast right here. Enjoy. Enjoy. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley.

Thank you, Nork Norks. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley. Oh, no. One, two, one, two, one, two. There we go. Now we're going. Go, go again, go again. one, two, one, two. There we go. Now we're going. Go, go again, go again. This is what happens

when I'm not pushing the buttons and Vaughn's in charge. And why aren't you pushing the buttons? Because I've got COVID again. Yeah, round two, baby. I mean, it's going to happen, right? Can we talk about 46 almonds a day? No, no, no, no, no, no.

I thought she said that. She said four to six almonds a day. Oh, thank God. That's what I was no, no, no. I thought she said that. She said four to six almonds a day. Oh, thank God. That's what I was like, 46, and then I thought about it. I was like, that's an entire box of scorched almonds. Yeah.

Which is completely doable a day, right? Oh, absolutely. Christmas day. In a day. Christmas morning before lunch. In a bloody afternoon. The great news is I've had four to six almonds already

in my breakfast. Have you? So gut health. Reduces bloating, gut health tick. Yeah, fantastic. I might need some more almonds in my day. You've had that many almonds and you do regularly. You've got COVID second time around.

We can now put almonds on the list of things that won't stop COVID. Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's quite scary the messages I've had over the weekend about people surprised that you can get it twice. I know. Yeah, you said to me someone's like, oh, no way, not again. And then also the amount of people that message saying

that they haven't even had it once. I know. I know so many people still that have avoided it. Unbelievable. God, you must get around, eh? Well, I think I had it in March, which was a long time ago, so I'm due. Yeah, you're the OG of our team. Yeah.

I'm blaming Kings of Leon, those dirty bogans. Ah. Yeah. I thought it might have been your extensive use of the gym facilities. It might have been that. It might have been that, too. It was suspected first time around was a gym facility. Yeah, but no, no symptoms this time.

So it's like, I don't know, it's weird being stuck at home. I know. I've come to work in the past with far worse colds and flu. Because what was the giveaway? You had a little... Well, yeah, I finished the gym on Friday and I was like, oh, it felt like maybe my long COVID was coming back. My breathing wasn't maybe a hundy.

And I was like, maybe I'll have a test. This is good because when I've done spin classes with you before, no one sits next to you. So I don't think the risk of spreading infection is very high at all because people avoid them for some reason. I did put up my story of my COVID test and someone messaged me

saying, great, I was next to you at the gym today. I was like, you're welcome. Enjoy a little one week break. Is that the person that you shared a drink bottle with? was like, you're welcome. Enjoy a little one-week break. Is that the person that you shared a drink bottle with? You were like, can I just have a little sip on your drink bottle? I forgot mine. Yeah, you know I just love passing my drink bottle around. Yeah.

All right, coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, you can get a masculine option for an Alexa voice here in Aotearoa, New Zealand now. Wow. You know, we've always had Alexa as being a young woman. Oh, yeah. Well-spoken, articulate female voice.

Well, now there's a male option and I was thinking, well, this is on the cards. The top six Kiwi voices we need on Alexa. Are you auditioning? All right. I'll put my name forward

but nobody wants this. Yeah. Nobody wants this. What? Blaring out of their speaker? Like what on the radio? Play me this song. Ah, but nobody wants this. Yeah. Nobody wants this blaring out of their speaker like what on the radio. Play me this song. Ah, nah, that shit. Ah, nah, nah, I'm not playing it. Ah, miserable bloody day

outside. What's the weather outside? Oh, nah, nah, nah, nah. Why don't you look out the window, you prick? That sort of thing. Alright, next on the show, Hayley, you've found Christchurch. Something in Christchurch that's happening. I know, a very cool initiative. They've opened a store, a very unique store in Christchurch, something in Christchurch that's happening. I know, a very cool initiative. They've opened a store, a very unique

store in Christchurch. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. We're on air, you naughty boys. We're just being very silly about measurements. Producer Jared only deals in imperial measurements

and I deal in centimetres. Yeah. Fletch said, mate, put it up two centimetres at tops. Jared was like... I said that might be too much. I said Jared only deals in imperial. So we've gone down a half an inch. Okay, well, fantastic.

I'm glad that we've sorted that out live on air. Yeah. Lewis Capaldi on CDM. Nice for you to wrap it up professionally. This is going Capaldi on set in. Nice for you to wrap it up professionally. This is going to be fun I reckon.

I know, I mean, I'd obviously love you to be in studio but last time. Four more days of this. Me and Vaughn

absolutely run amok. Remember when we had to run the show and we couldn't even get you on? Yeah, that's why I'm here. That's why I'm here.

Yeah, you've done well. Even if it is on whatever this computer is, Adele. Is it Adele? Adele in your house. Oh my God. Got, you've done well. Even if it is on whatever this computer is, a Dell. Is it a Dell? A Dell in your house.

Oh, my God. Got a Dell in my house. Oh, dear. Hey, now, here's a very cool initiative out of Christchurch. It's been going for a while, but now it's really starting to take off. It is a store called Bargain Me that is created by a guy called Sean Thomas who's trying to carve out a bit of a market for short-dated products. So stuff that is like going to expire,

I guess within six months or has like, he was saying like a frozen by 2023. Yeah. Kind of stuff. Stuff that's not going to last a long time. And he just had a normal grocery and he was like, the cost of living so high, groceries are part of the biggest problem of that.

People can't afford good food. And all this food is going into the landfill because it's short-dated and they can't sell it. So he sells it for super, super cheap, sometimes up to like $4 less than a supermarket. Oh, I love this. Because I love, at the supermarket, I love a reduced to clear.

You do. Especially the mints. We love a reduced to clear. You do. Especially the mints. We love a reduced to clear mints or chicken. You like a browning, don't you? You like a pre. Slightly browning. You like a slightly browning mints. It's going on.

It's never that bad. Scrape the brown stuff. If you're that fussy, scrape the brown stuff off. Give that to the cat or the dog. They don't care. No, they chew on their own butthole. And then you have the fresh pink delicious mints hidden under that film of brown, you know? Yeah, absolutely.

Absolutely. It's never that bad. The meat, as reduced to clear, always goes off like the next day. You just have it that night. Yeah, and you cook mints until it's dry and powdery, don't you? I do, like the 80s and 90s. Like a meat crumble, kind of. Yeah.

Yes. Like a mince dust. He loves his mince dust. Well, they sell like your normal groceries, but also like some bulk stuff that you'd freeze, like packs of pies. But you know, usually if you bought like a big tray of pies, they'd have a longer freeze by date.

But because they're going in the freezer anyways, like, well, just defrost them quicker and eat them. He's been saving, since they started, they opened in March, seven months. Since they started, they have saved five tonnes of food from going to landfill. That's fantastic. I know.

I mean, my brother used to do dumpster diving when he first moved to Melbourne. And I was always like, eh. And then he was like, no, because they just have to chuck stuff out that's perfectly fine, absolutely fine to eat. But they have to do it because it's, you know, short-dated and they can't get rid of it because people are like,

this is expiring in a day. When they chuck stuff out that needs to go be chucked out, do they chuck it out in the bags? Yeah, in packaging and all. Because if it's bread and it's in bags, then surely like you'd tip the bread out of the bags and give it to like a pig farm or something. That seems like less wasteful.

But it doesn't. They don't. It's all time consuming, isn't it, for them to do that? It's easier for them to chuck it in a bin. A big skip out the bag. A big skip. Anybody tell Chloe Swarbrick this? She'll be livid.

I reckon she's aware. She'll be livid. She'll be aware. She'll be aware. I hold these supermarkets accountable. Well, look, if you're in Christchurch, I mean, I would absolutely use this. The food's absolutely fine to eat. Or it's freezable stuff that you would consume within the next couple of months.

Or if you've got a wife like mine, just don't tell her and just scratch off the best before you is by date. She's a fussy woman. Yeah. She's a fussy woman. She freaks out when it's like the week that the milk's not going to be good. But you could go a week past that. Yeah, you can go a day.

I'd go a day or two past milk, but give it a sniff test. Oh, yeah, same. Always a sniff test. Same, sniff test. Have a little sniffy with me. Do you remember when there was that person at the workplace, Fletch, who was testing the milk by pouring it into the lid of the milk and giving it a little lap like a cat.

I do remember that, yes. Gross. Someone was like, you can't do that. They're like, no, I'm not taking it from the, I'm not swigging it from the bottle. I was like, no, but your tongue's touching the lid. And then you're putting the lid back on. Pre-pandemic.

Pre-pandemic. We were living in a different time. It was wild times pre-pandemic. Wild times. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, a study's been done and it's looking ahead to 2023 and all about the pre-pandemic body next year.

Two in five people believe that next year. What are you claiming? Your pre-pandemic body will never come back. It's gone. It's gone. It's a thing of the past. Yeah. You know the idea of like this kind of like coming back thing?

But journey to health. I know journey to health, but it's never going to be the same. How old are you now? 33. My hottest bod was post 33. You reckon? My hottest bod was post 33. Took some work, but my hottest bod was post 33.

Mine was 26. Holy, I was dying. So what was the year then, Borg? Well, I think 2018. The start of 2018 was where I had my hottest Borg. Was that because somebody ran a... No, no, no. It was ages after the marathon.

Oh, God, he's going on about the marathon. Oh, my God. The Auckland Marathon was yesterday and it did nothing but rain all day. And I saw people like... Because I went to Yumcha like any absolute monster would and I sat in Yumcha watching people who were finishing the marathon. I didn't feel bad about it. I offered them a shumai.

Shumai? Shumai? Would you like a shumai? It'll warm you right up. You're almost there. Well done. And because they've been running for so long and been running so much, they all were running wide-legged with chafing, bleeding nipples.

Oh, shit. Oh, good. Oh, gosh. But no, it wasn't my marathon bod. That was a skinny bod. So, Fletch, do people think that their body's coming back next year? Well, so two in three Americans credit the past two years of the pandemic for teaching them how important their health really is.

And they say that the top goal for them next year is health. Boring. That was... I mean, the three of us have been them next year is health. Boring. That was... I mean, the three of us have been on a journey to health. It's boring. So boring. So boring. Yeah, it's all my salads.

I've been taking weekends off. I've been taking weekends off. And even like, I haven't even really started again this week. I'm already bored. But I don't... I don't... When you say you take a weekend off, what does that look like? Because I've been going like whole hog.

Oh, you know, I just, I, maybe not as crazy as, like it's indicated taking the weekend off. Like it doesn't just hit Friday and I'm just like, all right, line up the sausage rolls, line up everything. I try to be a little bit good, but I don't hold back. Cooked a beautiful beef short rib at the weekend. Succulent, big, delicious, fat. I ate a lot of that.

Sade made her absolutely amazing potato salad. So, you know, off the rails, but. When was, what are we considering pre-pandemic? Like December 2019. 2019. Yeah, I'm saying anything before that. I'm just opening up my photo album. I think it was the end of 2020

that first lockdown it was just like, oh well, eat, eat, eat yum, yum, yum, don't do anything, go for your walk. No, but I worked out heaps in that first one, because everyone was like garage workouts Yeah, yeah, but it was the next time the next lot of lockdowns that was just like wheels

off. Okay, I'm just having a little looky I've just opened up my photos to look at december 2019. oh don't do it no don't do it so since the onset of the pandemic and this is why i say don't do it 64 of people's uh surveyed admit that their physical health was affected and half of the people surveyed and they surveyed thousands of people said that they've gained weight in the past two years. This body's gone. One, it's blonde. Two, it's got a tan. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Three, it wore shorts to the TV awards. That's how confident I was in these legs. I'm more of a sort of a long maxi skirt girl now. Yeah. The knee was on show. Did you ever get a knee? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Knees wore out. Oh, yeah. Look at those thighs. They've quadrupled in size, but they're a lot stronger now. You've got to have a strong thigh. To me, like people talk a lot about core strength. I think thigh strength. Same.

I think thigh strength is the new core. These are the ones that carry us around. Yeah. What's the core doing? It does nothing. It's where I rest my chippies. It's stabilizing your entire body, but okay. When I'm lying down on the couch watching telly. It's where I rest my chippies. I mean, it's stabilising your entire body, but okay. When I'm lying down on the couch watching telly,

it's where I rest my chippies. Stabilising your body, spoken by two men with back injuries. Yes. I think your core is leaving a little bit to be desired. That's true. Play ZM's Fletchvorner Nelly. Play ZM. From the Panoramic ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM.

From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hey. Hey. Hoey. You wouldn't want that one. Apparently you can get a new voice for Alexa, a masculine voice. Okay. Now, all you need to do is on your device say, Alexa, change your voice. I did this on my phone.

Oh, I don't know if it'll do it again. I don't know that one. Oh, no, it's a man. It's a man now. It's a man now. Do we just call him Alex or? Alexa, tell me a joke. What do you call the incorrect pig?

What do you call it? Mistaken bacon. It's not as funny. I'd say a lot of people don't think women are funny. I think Alexa's funnier than Alex. So a lot of people had a problem with the fact that it was a woman, didn't they? That it was a sub-servient. Oh, I thought it was more like, I remember, was it BMW?

It was one of the German car brands, Mercedes or BMW or something. The default voice and navigation in them was female. And so many German men had problems taking directions from a female that they released a male update. But you're right, Fletch, because there was a bit of uproar that a lot of these voices like Siri and Alexa are there to serve you at your beck and call and they're all women being like, how can I

help you daddy? That's what mine says. So now you can have a man saying, how can I help you daddy? Yeah, how can I help your mummy? I would just like if they worked shifts. Maybe Alex did the day shift, Alexa did night shift, and then they switched around. Yeah. You know, week on, week off. Well, Alexa's got to go

home and breastfeed the kids. Breastfeed the Amazon Dot. Of course. I hope to grow into an Alexa show one day. Yeah. And it needs, you know, breast is best. Yeah. We don't actually mean that, by the way. We don't stand by that. No.

Fed is best. I've got the top six Kiwi voices for Alexa if we can now do this. Please. Top six Kiwis. Number six, what? Please. Please, oh,

please go on. Okay. Yes, ma'am. Oh God, am I Alexa now? Top six Kiwi voices for Alexa,

number six, friend of the show, Lily from Big Save. Oh, yes. And you can have hyped Lily of yesteryear or like current,

chilled Lily. Yeah. But is she going to be trying to plug her specials, get her specials in there for the couches? And as damn well she should be allowed to. She's a company woman. Yeah, fair call.

Yeah, absolute company woman. She's a national treasure. Number five on the list of the top six Kiwi voices for Alexa are Dr. Ashley Bloomfield. Oh. Oh, yeah. My man, hello. Put me at ease.

Hey, Alexa. Tena kato katoa. Every time. Yeah. Every time. Our daily case of pollen count is high. So if you've got a fever, take your pills. Number four on the list of the top six Kiwi voices for Alexa are Bumble, the bumblebee.

Zzz. Yeah. Hello to you. An iconic assistant. Iconic. Number three on the list of the top six Kiwi voices for Alexa, the mad butcher. to you. An iconic assistant. Iconic. Number three on the list of the top six Kiwi Voices for Alexa, The Mad Butcher. Yes. Your old mate.

Number two on the list of Kiwi Voices for Alexa, Helen Clark. Oh, okay. How can I help you? Yeah, there you go. I knew you had one in you. And help the nation. And number one on the list of the top six Kiwi Voices for Alexa, Thingy. Although I know this will be harder because the man help the nation. And number one on the list of the top six Kiwi voices for Alexa, Thingy.

Although I know this will be harder because the man behind the voice of Thingy has passed. You'd have to do an AI. Yeah. Sort of an AI. Watch some of the old shows. There's so much old content to go through to be able to AI it. So there you go, the top six Kiwi voices for Alexa. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

It's Harry Styles falling on ZM, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. His new album, no, his new movie, I should say, My Policeman, streaming in some cinemas this week, but on Prime Video, Amazon Prime, this Friday it comes out, My Policeman. What are the reviews like, Fletch? Well, I mean, the critics don't seem to like it. Critics are panning it, aren't they? Oh, are they?

Critics, 41% on Rotten Tomatoes, 6.3 out of 10 on IMDb, Metacritic, which gets all the reviews as well together, 51%. Of course, being at home, Fletch, you can't see that producer Carween is absolutely shaking her head she's living she so google users who have seen the movie 94 like the film car when you saw it last night loved it 10 out of 10. you're all dosed up on harry's style but it's not because of harry it was just such a like moving movie like it really made you think you Void of drama. What moved you so much? You sound very moved. I'm so moved.

It's just such a complicated love story, you know? Oh my god. Did they have some post-credit scenes where they show Spider-Man coming back or something? Yes, that's what I love about these movies. That's what I love about the Marvel movies. Is he a good actor though or are you just blind to anything he does?

I won't say he was the best actor in the film, but he did a good job, considering his role was quite crucial. Okay. Right. Okay, that doesn't sound like a great answer. That's where you want to put your not best actors, in the crucial roles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I stack your supporting actors with the ones that have really got the chops. Yeah.

Front man, front woman. Yeah. But it kind of worked for his character. You know. You need Daniel Day-Lewis in the supporting roles and Harry Styles as the sort of poster child. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Well, I loved it. I'll be watching it again on Prime Video

on Friday night. Oh no, I'm gonna give it a watch. Somebody's on big Prime money, aren't they? Yeah, Jewish. We're a month away from summer. Yeah, and smooth segue. Thanks. Well, someone had to from summer. Yeah, and smooth segue. Thanks. Well, someone had to do it. Yeah, you were going to write in there.

I was about to, and then you did it, and I was like, what's happening? Flies are coming back. I hate them, eh? And we get those big blowflies out home. Same. Booty fatties, eh? Big, butt, fatty flick boys. Yeah.

Yuck. Sounds like the bloody Air Force's helicopters accidentally flown in your ranch slider. Gonna land here. Whatever they do, they have a big black spot and then they leave again. They crap everywhere. I hate them

so much. So I took the initiative yesterday to re-battery and re-can our little automatic machines. Oh, must be nice. God, they give me a fright. So there was one we had in the kitchen, and every time Sade said, every time she walked past it,

it squirted her in the face. And I was like, well, that's just poor timing because it was going off once every nine minutes. Every nine minutes she wanted a little snack. Yeah, yeah. She was like, if anything, someone's going to and from the kitchen too much, I think. So I moved positions, but we have throughout the house six of them. Oh.

Yeah, I know. Because I don't muck around. You hate a fly. I hate them so much. Wait, and these are going off every nine minutes. You have six and they're going off every night. How often do you have to replace the juice? Well, quite often, quite often, especially in summer.

You've got to crank it up to high because it's got a setting. Mind you, this is the weird thing. On the settings on the side, it says indoor low, indoor high. Now that I can understand. It's got outdoor settings. Who's taking it outside? Yeah, you can if you're a covered deck. Wait, no, that's a waste of time.

The air's just going to take the shush away. Yeah. So anyway, when I restocked, I rebatteried, and they were all sitting beside each other on the bench, and I went along like this. Number one, on. Number two, on. Number three, on.

Number four, on. Number five, on. Number six, on. It's a wave. I think we just call it a wave now. Oh, cancelled. She's done. She's cancelled.

Can we get Hayley out of here? No, but this is just a wave. This is just a wave. Wow. What's the ripple crowd wave? That's a far better name. I apologise to our Mexican listeners. The ripple crowd wave.

I was raised wrong. And then you know how you've got about ten seconds and then it just gives you a little spray, a little test. So then it went. No. And I was like, this is fantastic. That's just like a ripple crowd wave. A ripple crowd wave.

It's just like a ripple crowd wave. So I then placed them around the house in what I deemed to be the best order. Number one, on top of the heat pump because then it's high and it squirts because I don't want any, I don't want any getting up high. Number two. And it could get into the jet stream of the air con. Exactly! If the heat pump's on, which is

sometimes in summer if it's really hot, we'll crank it onto air con, it'll circulate that a little bit more. The jet stream. I like where your head's at because that's exactly what I thought. Yeah. The next one, high shelf in the kitchen so it doesn't shoot shadow in the face. Next one, high shelf in the lounge. Then another shelf in the living area.

And then one in the hallway and one in our room. And then I had the great game of the first, every time the one on the top of the air con unit would go, I'd mute the TV and listen for it and you'd hear, You've missed a great opportunity

here to do like a cool rhythm. You know, like a famous rhythm, like a I don't have that many. I've only got six. It has to be a famous six note rhythm. Well, you've got to get more. You've got to get more. I mean, it's the only logical choice.

Pss, pss, pst, psst, psst. Happy birthday to you. So it's all on pacing. It's not on the changer. What about psst, psst, psst, psst, psst? Jingle bells. Yeah, it's not instantly recognisable. Psst, psst, psst, psst. But it's all the same note,

which is crucial because they don't have different notes. Psst, psst, psst, psst, have different notes psst psst psst psst psst can can you just can can

you need to get more you need to get more yeah and it's all on timing I need a similar a song that's very similar and then I was like

thinking about it and I was like I could totally do a review I could do a review for these why? you know because there's different brands and is the cheaper fly spray as good as the more expensive fly spray?

Because you buy off brand I bought off brand Because it was at $1.10 and you could get a bulk of them for like significantly cheaper So I was like, I'm going to go off brand Just walk through your house spraying a can like most people do My mum, I still love doing that in summer But I grew up in a household where we were going through two more teens a week like because my mom just walks through the house how bad does lemon fly spray smell I love it all so bad if I hear a mosquito in a room in summer I literally just point a fly

spray in the air and just shut eyes like no don't and I'm like get under the covers we're killing mosquitoes and you know look we're we're And I'm like, get under the covers. You're guessing the smurfs. We're killing mosquitoes. And, you know, look, we're alive. I'm alive and well. Billy, a couple of brain cells are gone. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe.

Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole.

When fixing a typo, do you backspace all the words until you get to the mistake or arrow across to it? So by arrow across to it, what do you mean? Well, I took that as meaning you could, like, move the mouse or you could, like, arrow key or tab backwards. Oh, yeah, so you, like, go back to it, maybe highlight it, then backspace it. I'm lazy. I backspace everything.

You backspace... What, even if it's, like, three words? Yeah, I'm like... I use the mouse to drag it. I click to exactly what I need to change and then delete. Nah. But I'll never delete the whole lot. I'll definitely arrow over backspacing.

Nah, because I've typed so fast that I'm always like, diddle diddle it, and then I'll just include the delete backspace as part of my frantic typing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, but what if you're on your phone? Do you do that thing where you hold the spacebar down and then you can tab backwards? Nah, nah, I just go xxxxxxx. What do you mean you hold the space bar down and then you can tab backwards? What? Nah, nah, I just go xxxxxxxxx.

What do you mean you hold the space bar down and you can tab backwards? Well, you hold the space bar down and then if you hold the space bar, the cursor, you can move it anywhere in the paragraph. What? Okay, let me practice this. I didn't know you had to hold your space bar down.

I just click on the screen in the text thing and wait for the thing to pop up. Wait, so you hold the space bar down. So I just wrote, hello team, how are you this morning? Hold space bar. And then you can move that up with your, you just drag your thumb up to wherever you want that to be.

Oh my gosh! I know, I know. I only learnt that like maybe, what, I feel like two years ago. Okay, that's a much more efficient way of doing what I wouldn't normally do. Which is like hold your thumb over the text. Yeah, and it'll be like, select all, you're like, no, no. No, that's a much more efficient way of doing what I wouldn't normally do. Which is like hold your thumb over the text. Yeah, and it'll be like select all. You're like, no, no. No, no. So not

that one. No, not. Yes, I. Oh my God, you've changed my life. You're welcome. Wow, Fletch. Nate Hack. Oh my God, you just scroll your finger around. Because especially when you're on your phone, if you go back, it can quite often delete way too many words if you hold it down too long.

Yeah, because then it goes like, uh, uh, uh, uh. It goes letter, letter, letter, word, word, word, word, line, line, line, line. You've also got a phone hack that you absolutely love, don't you, Vaughn? What is it? The calculator. Yeah. I used it again the other day. I was like, I've made a mistake, and I cleared the entire thing,

and I was like, I should have used my swipe, and then I made the same mistake again on the second time, so I like, I've made a mistake. And I cleared the entire thing. And I was like, I should have used my swipe. And then I made the same mistake again on the second time. So I got to swipe deleted one letter. Also, do you know another hack if you accidentally, like you were saying, delete too much if you're on your phone? I don't know if Samsung's do this, but

Apple, you just shake your phone and that's undo. It'll come up with undo. And you can just click yes. And there's a thing where you can tap the back of your phone three times, eh? Oh, I set that up to do something, but it was too annoying because it goes off accidentally too much. Exactly. If you're carrying it in your hand and you're like bumping it around, it registers three taps.

Great one if you grab somebody else's phone and... No, it's up and down. He's watching me try to shape my phone. Mine just says report problem. No, no, you've got to go up and down, like, vertically. So like that? Yeah, like real hard, like... Okay. That's quite...

Report technical problem. I've got bad technique. No, it's like one quick... Show me how you want me to do it. I like how you tried it with the other one. It's like one quick like that. Up and down, up and down, up and down. No, just one up and down. Report technical problem. Oh, look, I don't know what's wrong with the other. It's like one quick like that. Up and down, up and down, up and down. No, just one up and down. Report technical problem. Oh, look, I don't know what's wrong with your phone. Maybe it's a setting you don't handle.

Maybe it's a setting. Mine doesn't do anything. Yeah, yeah, it's like, we know what you're doing. I don't even feel anything anymore. No. All right. Well, what about the people? What did they say?

Let me tell you, Vaughn Smith. Backspace everything, 48%. It's a pretty even split. Arrow across to the typo, 52%. I think that's going to get a few more now that everybody knows about the spacebar trick. Oh, I know. Kaylee says, all depends how far I have to backspace. Three words is my limit.

Otherwise, just arrow across. She's sensible. Laura says, computer equals backspace. Phone equals spacebar as cursor. Yes. Which we've just learnt. Yeah. Laura knows. Brenna says I've always backspaced everything

and it triggers my sister so hard. So of course I make sure to show when I do it when we're together. Yeah, people hate it. They're like, what are you doing? Michaela says actually I think I'm a double tap on the word and retype. No, but that's the one that, oh, I actually know that worked quite well. That works.

She says Samsung for the win on that one, but that works universally. Yeah. Also, shame on you. Mel, both. It really depends on how long it is before I realise there's a typo. Another Mel says, and that's confusing, but there's two Mels who have reported back. The second Mel says

I hold down the space bar to go to a specific letter. She knows. How did you not know about this? People know. I don't know. I feel like you know too much about phone hacks, Fletch. You need to get a real hobby. Not just phone shortcuts. Well, there you go. I've changed my answer. I'm need to get a real hobby, not just phone shortcuts.

Well, there you go. Well, I've changed my answer. I'm going to become a space bar holder. I'm going to hold the space bar too. Yeah. We're all learning. We're better. We're better than we were five minutes ago.

We are. But today is definitely, it's definitely Halloween, 31st of October. Happy Hallows Eve. All Hallows Eve. All Hallows Eve. This is obviously a big day for me being a witch from a very young age. And last week I shared that we received something in the mail and the new community in which we live, it's our first Halloween in our house,

you can register your house as like a trick-or-treat friendly house. And then me and Aaron had these great plans that we're going to dress up tonight and scare the kids and give them treats and decorate. I've bought all the

spider webs and stuff to hang out. We're going to do that this afternoon. And yeah, we're going to put red light bulbs into the house so that when they come, it's all scary and spooky. Have the best lollies on the block. And then on Saturday night, we

were fancy. Can I just say, this just sounds like a West Auckland sex den at this stage with red lights and spider webs. Yeah, well who knows who would come knocking on my door. That's why Fletcher's got COVID for the second time. He sees everything as a West Auckland sex den. Yeah, he just knocks on doors and goes inside and sees what happened. Is this a West Auckland sex den?

No, sir, it's where your local Chinese take away. Oh, right, just the name. Well, Chuck is a chow mein, but not what I'm after. Anyway, so Saturday night we went to a bar to get some dinner. And as we were leaving our house and heading out to this restaurant, we saw all these kids trick-or-treating. All these sort of little ghouls and witches and pumpkins and characters. And I was like, what's happening? It's not Halloween.

It's not Halloween. You crazy fools, go home. We've missed it. We've actually missed it. I went back and looked at the flyer that you had to register and it was on Saturday the 29th. Oh, what? So you bought all this stuff?

So I got all this stuff, this costume and everything for tonight and no one's trick-or-treating. Some kids will be trick-or-treating, surely. No, it's like the only way you can trick-or-treat where we live. Is on a preordained evening. Yeah. This sounds like nanny state trying to tell us when and where we should trick-or-treat. I know the whole community meets up at the local town hall,

the local community hall. Right. And they all kind of go on a bit of a convoy. I take you to it. Yeah. Night. And I've missed it. That's the thing about trick-or-treating,

you can't just, you don't open your door once the entire night and just deal with a stream of children. It's throughout the night, multiple. No, no, no, they're staggered.

They're staggered. They are staggered. And they were kind of like, they've got a map, which we were on. So I was like, while we were at the pub, were people knocking on our door

and we didn't have any surprise? Honey, you're lucky. You're going to get toilet paper. Because we registered our house and then no one was home. So now you've got bags of junk lollies. Bags of junk lollies? Nah, just junk. Cheap. Like off-brand. Yeah, cheap.

Went cheap. And we've got our costumes all sorted out. Maybe, you know what? Maybe Flutters onto something. Just whisk it up on sexting. Yeah, make a sexting. Open up the doors tonight.

Always good to have lollies and norgy. Good little bit of glucose beforehand. Energy hit. Yeah, beforehand. Okay. Really ride that energy wave. Well, if you want to. And Cheryl from next door.

Ride Cheryl. Ride the energy wave. I don't know if Cheryl wants off-brand junk lollies, though. Well, she doesn't have to have any. If you went know if Cheryl wants off-brand junk lollies, though. Well, she doesn't have to have any. If you went trick-or-treating, if you took your kids trick-or-treating on Saturday night and now you want a night out for yourself as an adult, please come to my West Auckland sex den.

DM me for the address. You can find the map. It's on the map. It's on the map. Just get the map. Yeah. Yeah. In Auckland at the weekend, Just get the map. Just get the map. Yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

In Auckland at the weekend, a father had given his daughter permission to host a small Halloween gathering. Oh, okay. A cool dad. A cool dad. Dad wasn't so cool. Don't call me dad.

Call me Jeremy. Yeah. He doesn't say his name. Tonight, Sasha, I'm not dad. Call me Jeremy. Yeah. He doesn't say his name. Tonight, Sasha, I'm not dad. I'm Jeff. I'm Jazza. I'm Jeff. I'm Jeff, responsible party host.

I feel like that would be you, Bored. I've got some mini savories in the fridge. No way. Are you going to leave your kids at my house? No, I don't want anybody. I don't even like when they have friends over. Yeah, but what about if your girls are going to go to parties at other people's houses? Well, no, they won't because they'll be locked in their room doing their homework.

Doing their studies. Doing their studies and playing their harp. No, no. They'll be sneaking out the window, Vaughan. No, because our new windows are only open so far. It'd be very hard to get out them. A couple of slim girls you've got on your hands. Yeah, true.

Slippery little ferrets, that's for sure. So when the party started getting out of control, at approximately 11 o'clock, after 100 people had turned up uninvited to the party, Dad called the police on his own party. Why not? He said it got to the point where my wife and I could no longer control

who was entering our house. At that point, we called the police. Whereabouts is this, sorry? In Auckland. Oh, God. Uwairaka, the suburb. Do you remember the days, was it in the 2000s, where there were just out of control Facebook open wild parties?

Yes, it was in the early days of internet and social media and events and it was just like open and the address and strangers would come. Thousands of children would turn up to Browns Bay and it was always on the North Shore. That shit never happened in West Auckland because somebody's dad would just literally go into the

garage and get his baseball bat and say you've got two minutes, I'm going to start swinging. It was always on the shore of Auckland. Fancy rich houses. The fancy ones, it was always in Christchurch, it was in the poshest suburbs when it happened. Thousands of, and then the police would turn up and there'd be just youths everywhere all over the street and then the, you know, the riot gear would come out and that would just hype the situation up.

Yeah, there was so many shenanigans. They'd always put photos on social media afterwards. And sometimes they'd get, like, expelled, you know, from their school if it was, like, a high school party. Oh, absolutely, yeah. Oh, God. For inciting it. So anyway, called the police and then apologised on the local Facebook page saying, I'm very sorry about the disruption.

This was, you know, it got completely out of control. Now, I might be wrong in saying this, but producer Anna, I believe she has done this to her own party in some way. Yeah, I have actually done it so I used to call noise control on my own parties and then I also

had a life hack for because our flat at uni was always the kick-ons flat. Yes, yeah. It would just go and go and go until kind of 5 o'clock in the morning. So I would Bluetooth connect my phone and then find a YouTube video

of a door knocking. This is well thought out. If anyone was in various states of haziness, would just constantly be like, the door's knocking and just continually go and check the door and then go to bed.

What a manipulator. What about- It's five o'clock. It's time to wrap it up. What other- Five o'clock. That's ridiculous. The sun's almost up.

You're going to waste a lot of tomorrow. Yeah. Oh, the day's gone. The day's gone by the time you crawl your lazy ass out of bed. But what about other sound effects you could have had? Like the police? Yeah. What about the siren?

The chopper? Yeah. It's the police chopper. Barking dogs? Yeah. But what are you? Because I've rung noise control a lot. I've never hidden that fact about me.

I'm quick. To call noise control. As damn well you should hidden that fact about me. I'm quick. To call noise control. As damn well you should be. I'm like, I'm going. But they ask you where you live in relation. And would you be like, the room next to the lounge? Nah, I just give the neighbors a drink. Oh my God, you're rooty tooty.

I just turn on the lights and start cleaning up. Now that's a great way to indicate to people it's time to leave your house. Yeah, Vaughan gets out the big black sack. Big black sack. That's the sign. The big black sack, the rubbish bag, and you know it's time to leave Vaughan's house. I'm starting to clean up.

Lights on. Music down. I'll always turn the music down a little bit too because I've got to concentrate on my clean up. I do the classic. Well, but some people don't get that hint. They don't get the hint because they're drunk. Big day tomorrow.

I think we should take some calls on this. The ways that you've ended the party. Have you called the police on your own party? Is there a way, a technique that you use, like Vaughan, bringing out the big black sack? Do you know what Vaughan should do next time we don't get the hint that he wants us to leave is bring in all your fly spray machines. Just turn them off.

And we're like, ah! Start doing a pre-bed spray for mozzies. That's a great idea, actually. Fumigate the place. We're talking about when parties got out of control, how did you end your own party? It didn't even have to be out of control. You just might have had a guts full of it.

Yeah. You might have just been like, I wish these people would leave my house. I used to just go to bed. You know, like I'd just close the door, turn the lights off, hop into bed, and people would come and be like, ugh, no. I couldn't leave people unattended in my house. Yeah. You've all got to go.

I've got to make sure the doors are locked, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Security and such. So we've had lots of messages in and some calls as well. Who are we going to first there? Tony! Hey, guys. Hey, Vaughan. Hey, Hayley. How are you

guys? Good, Tony. Thank you very much for the individual greetings. Anyone else in your household we can greet? Tony, who else is there? No, just me today, unfortunately. Alright, Tony, we'll just see you. Good morning to you, Tony. Unless you want me to ring up the Brain Clinic show as well and get them on the phone as well.

No, no, no. They're already sleeping. Lazy. How did you end the party? So, yeah, I would end the party using fart bombs because we used to use fart bombs at Intermediate. Fart bombs? I thought you said fire bombs the first time you said it.

I thought you said it in a South African accent. Fart bombs. Yeah. I'm letting off a far bomb. Fart bombs. No, no. So what you do is you get these fart bombs, you push the little tool inside and it just blows up itself

and then it releases the potent smell. So it's so potent it would clear a party, Tony? It would, yes, because you wouldn't want to be in the same room as that fart bomb. Wow. But aren't you making your own house inhabitable? Well, yes, but hey, if it gets people to leave, if it gets people to leave, then I can have peace and quiet.

Why not? Yeah, true. Yeah, true. Because you're going to go to bed anyway. Block your nose. You're cool. You're all good. All right, Tony.

Thank you for that piece of advice. Again, fart, not fire for the bombs. Oh, he's gone. We've got to go to Tony. Emily, hello. How did you end your own party? I've done it a couple of times where you just kind of convince everyone it'd be a really good idea to go to town and then you can kind of just choose whether you go.

Oh, I love that. I do this all the time. We should go. Yeah, we should. It's full. I'll catch the the time. We should go. Yeah, we should. And you're like, oh, it's full. I'll catch the next one. Straight to bed. Yes. Yeah.

That's a great idea because the words a drunk person loves the most is, shall we go to town? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, let's go to town. Espresso Martinez. Yeah. Let me just scull two more Red Bull vodkas

and then we can go. Emily, thanks for your call. Emily, some messages in. Morena, someone says, my 16th was an out-of-control garage party in 2011. My actual birthday was the next day, so at 12, my mum brought out the cake. After I blew out the candles,

Dad opened the garage door, turned on the lights and told everybody it was time to depart. Fair enough, get out. I don't dare taking care of things. A roller door, a garage roller, turned on the lights and told everybody it was time to depart. Fair enough. Get out. I don't dare taking care of things. A roller door? A garage roller door? Yeah. So loud and obnoxious as well?

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Guess we're leaving. My issue is that I can't bring myself to kick everybody out, so I'm always the last to bed. Stone cold sober by the end of the night, clearing bottles when wiping down benches and floors at 3am. No hangover though? Yeah, but...

Yeah, true. You're not going to get a good sleep. That's so late. I entered the neighbour's party once, snuck down the side of their house and pulled the clay circuit breaker from their power box and hifted over a couple of roofs. Job done. That's very hard. Where are you going to get another clay circuit breaker?

The old school. At 2am you just knock. The old ceramic situation you had to pull out. And they're very sketchy. You put your fingers on either end and you pull it, and you're like, God, I hope I'm not accidentally touching something. Yes. I'm going to get a massive boot. Ashley has called.

Ashley, how did you end the party? Yeah, hey, it was actually my father-in-law at our engagement party was getting a bit antsy about wrapping it up on time, and he was standing in the corner and did a quick glance around and then just yelled out, fire. I mean, that'll do it. Yeah. Yelled fire.

We're actually at a fireplace company hiring this place, so there was plenty of fires around. So I guess he thought that was a good idea. Why didn't he take the next step and actually, like, hit the alarm, you know? I've done that before. Actually flick the switch, no, because if it calls the fire, you've got to pay the call out. Yeah, I know.

Yeah. If it's just primarily your own smoke alarm. It was a dark day for me. Yeah. Thank you, Ashley. I got a family friend to come down and pretend to be my dad. He was ruthless. The party got out of

control. Needless to say my parents did actually end up finding out because it was supposed to be like they were out partying at my house because my parents had a situation. I've never done that. I've never thrown a, because my mother I don't know if I've painted a clear enough picture of Patsy but she loves a sort of knick knack

or a vase or a glass egg, you know? Faberge. Oh, no, not Faberge. She's got an extensive collection of Faberge eggs. She stole them from the Russian czars at the overthrow. She's been around a long time. But I couldn't do it.

Too much breakable stuff in my parents' house. Yeah. And I'm a good girl. Yeah. Someone said, my dad walked into his own house with the hose. Jesus! He walked into his own house with the hose. Jesus! He walked into his own house with the hose. That is a dad who wants you gone.

There you go. That's a great little list of how to break up parties as well. TikTok's where I get all my news these days, all my information. That's dangerous. All my medical advice. That's dangerous. My financial advice, investing advice, fashion advice and dating

advice. And this is why I want to share this with you now. The red nail theory. Now I hadn't heard this about the red nail theory, but it's had the videos with this phrase tagged in it have been viewed over 74.9 million times,

rounded up to 75. 75 million times. I'll allow the roundup. So the red nail theory is the theory that having red nails will instantly get you a boyfriend or a date. Red nails. What if you're a boy with red nails? Same goes, I reckon? Same goes I reckon Same goes

What kind of red is it? Sexy red Classic red Like not a plum Not a deep Not a pinky or a coral Marilyn Monroe red I don't know why I associate Marilyn Monroe with red

Is it the dress? She was a sexy woman The dress was white No the Red lipstick Mr President was red Yeah But wasn't

She always wore red lipstick Yes Very red lipstick And probably red nails as well So it goes everywhere Everyone's saying Guys the red nail theory is real People have been struggling with dating

Who haven't been able to Nab themselves a Handsome fella They paint their nails red And voila I haven't seen red nail polish for a long time. Back in the 90s, it was red. Yeah.

If it wasn't black. It's classic. It was red. I know. Now all sorts of pastels and mine's green and gold. Yeah. All the colours of the rainbow. Yeah.

Carween loves getting her nails done. Carween, you're our nail queen as well. She does her own gels. Oh, she is. I don't know what that means. Could you do an open a side hustle? Yeah, but then I have to touch other people's hands. She hates when there's an office full of people that hate to touch, isn't there?

Do you paint your left hand with your right hand? Yeah. But then so when you paint your right hand with your left hand, is it not as good a job? Because what are you, left-handed or right-handed? I'm right-handed. Yeah, sometimes the right side's not as good if I'm doing art. But if I'm just doing straight colour, I'm fine.

She does little doodles and hearts of flowers and such. Do you have that machine, Karween? You put your fingernails in afterwards? Yeah, because you need that for gels to set them. Let them set. Oh, my God, you've got everything. I know, but would you, Carween, would you rock a red nail?

I was talking to Georgia about this the other day from our day show. I've never worn red. I think it looks too old on me. It does. It is quite a traditional nail colour. Like the red lipsticks, the red nails. Yeah, I mean, the Tik Toksticks, the red nails. Yeah.

I mean, the TikTok, she's quite young. Yeah, very young. And it looks great on her. Very young. But everyone's sharing this. And they went, is there any sort of theory behind it? There was a study done a few years ago that revealed that red leads men to view women as more attractive and more sexually desirable. I suppose it's sort of sexy, isn't it, Red?

You think about Red, lace, passion. Like a bull and the matador. Like a bull. We're simple creatures. We really are. We flash a little bit of red at you and you're absolutely weak at the knees. And then we charge at the woman with our horns and then they step

out of the way and stab us with a sword. Yeah. And they keep doing it until we die. The metaphor works. It does. The metaphor works. It's a great metaphor. The red nail theory works. There you go.

If you want to find yourself a date or you want to find yourself a bull, paint your nails red. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I have had some accusations flying at me over the last few weeks at marching training. Oh, no. Now, there's a few elements to this.

Recently, maybe, I don't know, six months ago, I thought I deserved a treat. I thought I deserved a little treat. I think it was just after I'd been filming Bake Off And doing radio in the mornings I'd been working my little tushy off And Aaron said get yourself a little treat Did he say sweetheart and pat you on the arse on the way out of the house?

Get yourself a little treat Yeah he tweaked me on the nip and said go on No I don't do it in the way Is that not what you were picturing? I was just more of a snack of that cake you know Yeah nah Whack Nah he said get yourself something pretty Hun Is that not what you were picturing? I was just more of a snack of that cake, you know? Yeah, nah. Whack. Nah.

He said, get yourself something pretty, hun. And then, yeah, gave me a little tweak. Anyway. What did you get? Well, I was allowed to choose. And I was like, do you know what I don't wear often is perfume. I've been meaning to say something. You smell like the great unwashed.

Yeah, great. Okay. So I was like, I'll get a perfume to deal with this undeniable stench that I naturally carry around. Yes. And there's a perfume that is like, I guess you'd call it a bit of a cult hit. It's very bougie, and I'd smelled it on a few people before, and I went, oh, my god, like I love

that. What is it? It's called Santal 33. Now, a few people hearing it will be like, I know this perfume. What is it called? Santal 33. S-A-N-T-A-L. S-A-N-T-A-L 33. I spelt it wrong and I didn't put 33 and Google knew what I was after.

Yeah. Right. So anyway, I bought this perfume. Understated? The bottle's very understated. Very understated bottle. Holy Jesus of Nazareth, I've just seen how much it costs. How many a Neenie Panini Bing hoodies would this cost? It's like a Panini Bing in a bit.

Oh my God, Hayley. I know. Well, you said a small gift. Hold on, Jared's come around to look at my computer. So this is, oh no, you've seen the price. Hang on, Jared's come around to look at my computer. So this is, oh, no, you've seen the price. That much for 100 mils. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. This is, yes, yes, yes, yes.

I love this because women will have this in their house and they've lied to their partner about how much it costs. Santel 33. It looks like an old school tonic bottle that you'd see like in the cowboy days. This is a sacred circle of Santel 33 women. You can't do this. Santel 33. 100 mils. 100 mils of Santel

33 cost $527. $527. What? $527. Hayley. I've been working really hard. I've been working really hard. I've been working really hard. $527!

Oh, my God, I think a bit of wheeze has come out. I'm panicking. Wow. It's quite a strong perfume. This better never show its face in my house. Okay. Well, you better check when you get home. It's probably already there.

I reckon Shana Socrates will have taken it out of a bottle of that and poured it into an old bottle of Elizabeth Arden Red Door. Well, look, it is very, very expensive. Oh, my God. My eye won't stop twitching now. It's very expensive, I know. But you only need the tiniest amount. It's a very strong perfume.

So anyway, to my horror. 15 mils of it costs $153 15 mils a tablespoon a tablespoon it's quality though and it's like the amount of times

I walk into a room and someone goes Suntail 33 and I go yes and they go and there's a level of respect anyway so I wear this perfume maybe just like

once or twice a week and I'll give a little spray. And I don't know why, but I've, I put it on a couple of times at marching. And a few weeks ago, my marching coach, I got to training and she, for reference, I've talked about this before, my marching coach is a, is a scientist and she works with drugs. So she works, she knows a lot about drugs. And she was talking to me, she said, oh, we're going to go from, um, did you do MDMA last night? so she knows a lot about drugs and she was talking to me, she said, oh we're going to go from move Did you do MDMA last night?

What? She sniffed me and said Did you do MDMA last night? I said, no She said, are you sure? She said, I don't care, you know She obviously hates drugs because she knows so much about them. I said, no, Erin, I didn't

do MDMA last night. She goes, oh, my God, I can just absolutely, I don't know what it is, I can smell MDMA. What, like the manufacturer of it? Like the chemical compound of it. She sounds so fascinating. So then, right, we move on, and I just assume one of the younger girls in my team has just dropped so many pingers.

She's had so many pingers she's sweating drugs and then cut to yesterday i get to training yesterday she goes and i come up and i was like oh how was yesterday she goes hayley you did mdma again and i said i didn't do mdma she's like you absolutely stink of mdma and if you don't know what mdma is like ecstasy is molly it's it's like, you absolutely stink of MDMA. And if you don't know what MDMA is, it's like ecstasy. It's molly. It's the concentrate, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The concentrate.

The concentrate of ecstasy. It's the quenched, you know, when you buy your porto as a concentrate. A thrifty concentrate of MDMA. So I'm standing in front of my friend who literally busts drug labs for a living. And she said, I know you've been doing MDMA. I said, I haven't done any MDMA. And she sniffed me and she goes, it's your perfume. And apparently my $527 perfume straight up smells like straight MDMA.

Are you kidding me? Like methylene diamexyl methamphetamine. Distinctly like mesaline dialyze and dysmethamine. So I paid $500 to smell like a weekend druggy. Like a tweaker. There you go. Outrageous. Because it's described as a sandalwood perfume.

If you, yeah, it's quite rich. If you smell me in a workplace, please know I have not been doing pingers in the morning. I've not been doing lines before work. It is my expensive perfume. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Today's fact of the day is about travelling by rail. Ah.

Is this because Fletch is feeling unwell and he loves a train? Sure. A little gifty. Do I love a train? I love a miniature train. Oh, how good is a miniature train? I know you love the planes. I know you love the planes. Yeah, I love the planes.

Trains, yeah. I just blows my mind that train tracks were built, you know, like in the early 1800s. They were train tracking. And then in like the mid-1800s, after America's Civil War, they were like, let's build one right across the country. And then they just did it. That blows my mind. It's wild. And steam locomotives, they were like, let's build one right across the country. And then they just did it. That blows my mind.

It's wild. And steam locomotives, they blow my mind too. I've had a few facts today about steam locomotives. Those things are fascinating. Your mind constantly getting blown. Just by trains and train stuff. Alright, so today's fact of the day, I'll be asking you a question. What country

do you think travels by rail the most per capita? Which country? So this is kilometres per person per year travelled by rail. France. France is one, two, three, four, fifth. Oh, it was pretty good then. Pretty good guess from me.

Japan. Japan is second. Well done to you, sir. But Japan has a huge population, you see. This place doesn't have the most massive population. Okay. Is it in Europe? you, sir. But Japan has a huge population, you see. This place doesn't have the most massive population. Okay. Is it in Europe? Yes, sir.

Is it? Nah. Amsterdam? No, it's not. No, they look fine. Is it Spain? No, it's not Spain. Is it Portugal?

No, it's not Portugal. Is it? I was talking about this country off air before. Oh, Germany. It's got to be Germany. No, it's not Portugal. No, it's not Portugal. Is it? I was talking about this country off air before. Oh, Germany. It's got to be Germany. No, it's not Germany. Oh, Switzerland. Yay, Switzerland.

The Switzerland. The Switzerland. Because in my mind, like I said to Hayley, Switzerland is in my head because I've never been. It's always talked about how it's small and it's just plonked in the middle. It's the size of Rarotonga. It's definitely not.

But it's not. It's significantly larger. I've looked it up. I've looked it up. I've travelled on train in Switzerland, like between Germany. It's beautiful. And it is. It's so well connected.

Yeah, very well connected. So their rail network has 5,000 kilometres, 5,323 kilometres. And every year, the average Swiss citizen travels 2,500 kilometres of train travel a year. Wow. Jeepers. Yeah. So they win.

I can tell you, Japan was second, Austria third, Denmark fourth, France fifth. Where's New Zealand? Skiddle-de-de-de-de-de-de-de. Not even on the list. I love, when I take the train in Auckland, I do think it's a lovely novelty. And I used to take the train a bit in Wellington because my parents live in the Wairarapa.

Wellington big train, yeah. So the train from Wellington through the hills in the Wairarapa and you come out. It's beautiful. But the train doesn't go where we live. No. There's trains, but they're logging trains. Yeah.

It's not the most well-connected rail network of any city ever, but, you know, it gets around. The last time, I haven't been on it for ages and ages in Auckland, but the line out west used to, like, really rock side to side. Oh, yeah, but of a chunny. Not enough to make you have a chunny, but it really, like, felt like a novelty train because, you know, when you go on, like train at a theme park,

you go around Steve Irwin's Aussie Adventures Park or whatever. What does he have? Australia World. No, what's it called? Wherever the animals are. Australia Zoo. Australia Zoo. You go around the outside.

Like a Dream World one, you go around the outside, there's always a little bit of a chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga. You like the way it rumbles, do you? You like the vibrations of the train. Not particularly. Not particularly. Not like overly, but yeah, it felt wobbly, bobbly. But I imagine they'll fix that.

It's been many years since I've been on it. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is the average Swiss citizen travels 2,430 kilometres a year on train, making it, per capita, the most train-friendly nation in the world. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Well, we have your chance to win return economy flights for two to Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport, Texas,

and then onwards to the city that we are now giving the boarding call for. So thanks to American Airlines who are flying non-stop to Dallas-Fort Worth starting tomorrow, the 1st of November. And you can basically get on that flight from Auckland to Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport and then be connected all over the United States

and Latin America. I've done the flight pre-pandemic. I went American Airlines from Auckland to LA. Great airline. And this prize will be awarded at the end of the two weeks of competing. So we're going to have two weeks of boarding calls. And I believe, Vaughan, are you at the departure gate today? I am at the departure gate.

Okay. Bing bong. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. This is your boarding call for American Airlines flying nonstop from Auckland to Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport and carrying on today to their destination, which is home to Lady Liberty. That was close. Home to Lady Liberty herself. The city's nickname refers to a big red fruit and its citizens can speak over 800 languages.

You are a terrible gate attendant, Vaughan. Lady Liberty. Lady Liberty. Okay, so we need you to tell us right now to go in the draw to win these flights on American Airlines. Where is the boarding call for?

What city in America? 0800 dial ZM now. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Monday Maestros. Well, we were given homework over the weekend for Monday Maestros. We were. We were.

Producer Anna, on her last Monday Maestro, has tasked us with the humble yet powerful haiku. The haiku, a short poem originally from Japan. Traditional Japanese haiku consists of three phrases that contain a

crege, or a cutting word. Oh yeah, no, this is long. And the haiku originated as the opening part of a larger poem called a ringa. Ah, well, we'll just be delivering the haiku, I believe. Five, seven, five. Five syllables, seven syllables, five. Five, seven, five.

Anna, where did the inspiration come for the novel haiku? It's low resource. Okay. Yeah, so we couldn't get some sort of expert or some kind of instrument budgets blown out, is it? Look, I'll be honest, guys, The Departure Lounge, it's pretty nice in here. Yeah, I bet. It's pretty good. It's pretty special, and I love a bit of poetry.

You might not know that about me, but I love a haiku and I would love to see you perform yours. You know, sadly, most of Japan's most well-known haikus don't translate to English because it doesn't translate to the same amount of syllables. True. Yeah, like one of their most famous ones

says, Old pond, frog leaps and waters sound. But that doesn't work. It's not enough. Not enough syllables per line. Oh, there you go. Hey, sicky boy, do you want to kick us off with your sick haiku? Well, I am at home with COVID for the second time.

This was to be inspired by our weekend. Is that correct? That's right. Yeah, so I've drawn inspiration from my weekend. You know, there was a lot of rain. Yes. I was stuck inside. I couldn't leave.

I'm in here for seven days. I'm looking forward to hearing how he does his hailing because already he's putting a lot of imagery out there. It was raining. Painting the picture. He's in prison. It's like he's in prison. He's staring at his cell.

I am, yes. Very much so. I missed all the Halloween parties. You know, I'm stuck inside with COVID. Do you want some special poetry background ambiance? Yeah, absolutely. Where would we be doing this? Maybe like a cafe poetry reading.

A library. Welcome to Fletchbourne and Hayley's Poetry. I don't know where the... Gerard, just put it in the log. No, no, there is none. Just tune that music down, Gerard, and we'll all be in a hustle bustle of a cafe. Oh.

Okay, first up to the stage, cool cats and kittens, for your poetry reading, please welcome Carl Peter Fletcher. COVID, a haiku. Showery fountain before virus COVID coughs on the Halloween. Oh, my God. That was quite good. That was quite beautiful, wasn't it? That was quite beautiful, my God. That's quite good. That was quite beautiful, wasn't it? It was quite beautiful.

Thank you. That was quite beautiful. Thank you. Oh, my God. Could we have Fletch's first win? Let's see. Let's see. That was good.

I mean, no pressure. No pressure. I didn't know he had it in him. Okay. Should I go? Sure. Save the best for last. Oh, no, no, no. Don know he had it in him. Okay. Should I go? Sure. Save the best for last. Oh, no, no, no. Don't build me up like that.

Oh, please welcome to the stage our next poet. He's a man full of the snaps and the paps, waps, whips, waps, whips, waps. It's Vaughn. It's Friday. Yay. Blink. How's it Sunday evening? This is bullshit, man. I mean, aren't they meant to be beautiful?

Yeah, they are sort of supposed to be quite serene and deep, but I love it. Yeah. I love it. I drew inspiration from the passing of time and how a poem, a haiku passes fast, so does The Weeknd, man. Wow. Yeah, you're not wrong.

Okay, last and potentially least, stepping up to the stage, it's poet Hilly Sprung. My Weeknd, a haiku. Spagliato, please. Yes, with Prosecco in it. Just keep them coming. I love it. I love it.

Spagliato is five syllables. Yes, with Prosecco in it. Just keep them coming. I love it. Well done, Fletchford and Hayley Poetry Society. Snaps. Snaps. Back to you, Jazz Cat at the jazz desk and a hen vest.

Working her best to put us to the test. Wow. Okay. That was very good. I'm so impressed. You all nailed it. Well done. It's going to be a winner, though.

The winner is Vaughan Smith. Yay! I mean, it was the most ruthless of all. Speaking for the people. It was. It was unexpected. It was surprising. Because you have a long weekend,

and you're like, that's how long a weekend should feel. And then you go back to these two days. Ah, that's a chunk. Junk weekends. Junk. They're too short. Let's get twice as much length to them.

Well, I'm glad you approved of your final Monday Maestros, Anna, and I can't wait to see what we get to do next week. Are you allowed to do poetry in North Korea? Oh my god, I'm not moving to North Korea. She is. Now she's gone quiet on it. Oh yeah. Kim Jong is not going to be happy at this absolute lack of

respect for the dynasty. It's David Guetta, Bebe Rexha, I'm Good Blue on ZM. Fletchforn and Hayley, we have had a text message in. Is it just me or does this sound, bits of this song really sound like that old song, Blue? Yes, it's because it's sampled. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's good for noticing the song. You might also notice a lot of other songs at the moment. I'm doing the same thing. People are running out of ideas for songs. Maybe songwriters have had a creative lull. And that's okay. You can't be on all the time.

Dude, it's also not an inspiring world at the moment, is that? God, that was depressing. You're the one with COVID at the moment at home. Yeah. He's inspired by it. Inflation. Keep going. Cost of living.

War. Russian. Building costs. I mean, we're all feeling that. Should we carry on down this dark and dreary path? I reckon you could pick it up for us. Yeah, pick it up for us, please. Should we have a bit of light relief?

Yeah, a bit of light relief. A bit of light relief? I'm up for it. Well, it's that end of the year. Prank time is rolling around. Some schools already telling their students not to bloody bother. I love it.

They're like, all right, Halloween's done. Tell the kids not to do anything stupid for the end of the year pranks. It was like, well, primary schools are probably, it's more high schools that do pranks. We do.

And it's the students that are leaving forever. They've got nothing to lose. Like, is it a tradition thing? We chugged milk on the last day. You chugged milk? Yeah, we chugged milk. Take that, lactose intolerance.

What was the idea of chugging milk? To spew. At the end of seventh form, everyone's got to chug a litre of milk. That's so stupid. Everyone was spewing on the front lawn of the bloody common room. It was awful.

I think we just turned on each other in the last bit of seven four like everyone was just like letting each other's tires on cars down or like we put a fish in the wall see that's madness because you're just kind of attacking yourself really aren't you no but i'm leaving the building you're leaving the building so you're saying whoever inherits this building we're just going to have stinky fish it's actually a heritage protected building now it's got a dead fish in the wall. Uh-huh. Queen Margaret's.

Is it still there? Probably still stinky. For all these years later it still stinks. That was a very oily fish. But yes, teachers and staff are saying

don't bother this year or remember the rules or remember it's not too late for us to absolutely ruin your university application. Oh yeah. Because when are exams?

This week. This week. They kick off. Yeah. Well, one of my nephews, he's in his first year of high school. His exams kick off this week. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I don't know when the NCA ones do.

Yeah. Well, I think it's in the month of November. So it must be in the next couple of weeks that they kick off. So some students don't come back after the exams, do they? The senior students. So they're going to be off. They're going to be done. Why bother?

So we were wondering if you had an end-of-year prank that stuck in mind. Was it Marlborough Boys and Marlborough Girls? I've got a bit of a back and forth, don't they? And they're always in the paper apologising. Yeah, aren't they always doing an undie run? And Christchurch love an undie run and Christchurch love an undie run. The boys go through the girls

college in their undies. Who wants to see your gruts? Unless it's a rich school. Then they must have nice gruts. They've all got Kelvins, don't they? I would have had to have done an undie run in my rip-off Homer Simpson silk boxer shorts.

And that was always like, silk boxers are always just absolutely asking for a slipped ball. Or a slipped ball because they ride as well. Yeah, they never sat where they should. They either rode up or rode down. Or to the side, flip to the side, all out the side. Yeah. Do you know another, roundup.

A lot of people round up lawns. Don't do that. Don't do that. Round up, like kill it. Yeah, and they do a C and a B, or they write something and round up, and that's the end of your prank. No, because that's just the caretaker's problem.

I know. And I don't believe the caretaker gets the entirety of the holidays off. No. I'm telling you, you've got to put a fish in the wall. Because that's a caretaker's going to have to deal with that too. No, no, because then you seal up the wall. In the heat of January. What are you, jib-stopping a school wall? We pulled out the big, there were these lockers in this room

and we pulled out these lockers. I can't remember the name of the room, otherwise I'd say it, but pulled out the lockers and there was a little like hole in the wall and we put a fish in there and then we put the lockers back against her. God knows when they would have ever moved these lockers. As a future groundskeeper of a school, which is what I plan to do next with my career, because honestly, you get to growl at kids.

You get to drive a little tractor. You're constantly mowing lawns and doing gardens. He's always got EMFs on, he or she, so they could be listening to whatever, podcasts and stuff. This sounds like my dream job. Yeah, beautiful. It's raining. I find something else to do, tinker about. This sounds like my dream job. Yeah, beautiful. It's raining. I find something else to do, tinker about.

A drain needs clearing. How much fun would that be, clearing a drain? No, you have to scrape pastels off the radiator. Yeah, but that's cool as well because then I'd be like, well melted there, little Caden. No, you've got to be scraping off wads of toilet paper with water. Yeah, yuck. Horrible job.

I'd paint the bathrooms in a thing that didn't allow adhesion. I'd be one ahead of these little baths. A hype loss. We want to take your calls this morning remembering those high school pranks from when you were at school. Maybe it was something to this day that is still very legendary. I'm like, I'll sprout, dropping a fish in the wall. It's end of interview prank season.

By the way, exams start this week. Someone said the first exam is November 5th. Oh, God, even you just saying that. On next week, sorry. I just got like the feeling and the smell of study and exams. I remember it all. I every now and then will have a dream that I'm back in the final year of high school and I haven't studied and it's like

And you've lost your pants? No, my pants are on but I'm also my age now. When I ask people, they're just like yeah, you keep failing and I'm like man, I've really got a knuckle down. Why did they let me come back to the school for 23 years

in a row? Even though I keep failing the final exams. So interview pranks Why have they let me come back to the school for 23 years in a row? Yeah. Even though I keep failing the final exams. So end of year pranks. We want to know about them. Some of them are verging on terrorist attacks. I'm not going to read those ones. Jeepers creepers.

But the simplicity and the shortness of this text rules. No names. Cambridge High School, 2015. Someone took a poo on the roof. Just a nice short one there. Wow. Cambridge High School, 2015. Someone took a poo on the roof. Just a nice short one there. Wow. Okay. Somebody said, I would like everybody to think about the damage that they would be

doing to a school and how much money it's going to cost the school to fix that when schools don't have much money. I can say this as I work at a school and one year, students superglued the doors, door locks shut. Oh God. Now that ruined

the door locks so it was thousands of dollars worth of damage. Surely that's an insurance claimable thing though, right? But school insurance premiums are through

the roof. No, they're in the excess to claim. Joke's on us guys because we're the taxpayer, aren't we? Yeah, we're the one that's paying for that

and short-changing our next generation in their education. You can go absolutely ham at a bloody private school, though. Tons of money. Oh, yes.

Stick as many fish in the walls as you like at Queen Margaret College. Someone said, the year was 1998 and after five years of being told we were never allowed

on a specific lawn because it was always too wet, even in summer, we set up camps and 50 of us were just tented on the sacred lawn. Did they sink? You know what ruins a lawn? A tent.

It literally smothers it. Yeah. The groundskeeper would not have been happy. No. He'd be very unhappy indeed. I would have taken my little Kabuto with, this is the brand of tractor I'll probably have when I'm a groundskeeper, with my topper on and just run over all the tents.

You're going to be a weird groundskeeper. Hayden, what was your end-of-the-year prank? Yeah, g'day, lads. Hayley, how are we? Oh, I like that. G'day, lads. Hayley, how are we? I like that a lot.

We are good. Thank you, Hayden. Oh, very good. Yeah, my end-of-school prank a few years ago now, but the main quad area in our school was grass, so we ended up fencing it and putting about eight sheep in there, and all the students turned up to our school, and there was sheep in the school.

Did you go to, like, a rural school? No, no, middle of town, Dunedin. Where did you get the sheep from? One of the boys had a farm a wee bit out of town, so we just chucked them on the trailer and brought them in, and you sort of left them there and wiped their hands of it, so it was quite good. Did you number them?

Because somebody else messaged in, the great sheep prank's always good when you say you've got five sheep, but you number them one, two, three, eight, 12, and 14, so it appears that there's some missing sheep in the midst. No, no, we didn't quite get that far, but I might have to pass it on to someone to do that. To the next generation. Yeah, yeah. That's a good prank. I like it.

Yeah, it's good. Well done. Thanks for your call, Hayden. Some other messages in. Again, a few more that are bordering on terrorism. Somebody else said, we managed to source a huge roll of caterers food wrap. Wrapped at the canteen,

a standalone building a number of times and right on the outside, the 76th Hunger Games have begun. May the odds forever be in your favor. Amazing. Yeah. Emma, you got a little bit of water involved in yours. Yep, we had, Hayley, you will appreciate this. involved in yours. Yep, we had.

Hayley, you will appreciate this. Morning, boys. Morning, Hayley. Good morning. You will appreciate this. Hayley, I went to Queen Margaret. Oh, my God, did you? And we had a massive water fight.

Must be nice. When were you at Queen Maggie's? What's that? When were you at Maggie's? My last year was 1989, Hayley. That's the year I was born, Emma. So before the fact. So you went to this building that we went to school in,

a very fancy building. Whereabouts did you do it? So it was the new one at the time. What's it called where we had like one entrance was on Hobson. Oh, yeah, it was like the 70s block bit. Yeah, the 80s block, Hayley. Yeah, 80s, 80s block. They've torn it down now, Emma.

It was too old. It was riddled with asbestos. It wasn't earthquake-proof. Oh, they said old. See, it had a water fight inside. And we stood at the top of the stairs with a rubbish bin full of water and tipped it over people as they came in the door that was off, you know where the driveway

was, where Hopson House was? Where he was at now? And I tipped it over one of the teachers. Cheapest! I thought you meant like little squeegee bottles, but no, you were going big bins in the ocean. I was going whole hog, yeah, and I

was the junior school prefect. Oh, naughty. Were the teachers allowed to beat you in those days, Emma? Oh, no. They gave us discredits. Oh, yes. Yeah, we got credits. I could not care about their stupid discredits.

Jeepers. We're rough as guts, I tell you what. Absolute waste of money Come on, come on, we were angels on the outside Street angels, home devils Of course We could behave how we liked at school Lovely to hear from you, girls of Queen Margaret

Sing of our college What? Luce Veritatis, Emma, Luce Veritatis Thank you for your call In 2015 someone egged the school's performing arts centre and caused thousands of dollars worth of damage and three students failed the entire year by disqualifying them from exams.

This is what I'm saying, kids. This is what I'm saying. Egging's bad, eh? Terrible for paint, terrible for everything. Windows, any tint on the windows, anything. It'll cook on there and it'll be an absolute risk. This is what I'm saying. You've got to think of the long-term repercussions

of your silliness, all alright? Leah's been getting the animals involved. Leah, what did you do? So, it wasn't necessarily my year, but the year above me. They brought two cows into the school and this is a school in South Africa and we were a three-storey building. And

cows, of course, can't walk down the stairs but they can walk up. So, they walked them up to the third level, and then the teachers had to try and figure out how to get them down. They ended up craning the cows out of the school because there was no way to get them out. You had to get a crane into the school? Yes, they did.

It was quite interesting. And we also did the chickens thing. So we did let chickens loose and named them thing one and thing three. And then the teachers were looking for the second one, but couldn't find the second one because it wasn't actually there. Wow. That chickens in the loose. I can't believe you've got a crane to crane out cows.

Absolutely ridiculous. Leah, thank you very much. People are naughty. Very naughty. No respect for authority. Obviously, I like a bit of this one because I like a prank that involves a garden gnome. Huge fan.

Aranga Toto College, late 1970s, took gnomes from the gardens all around the North Shore and exchanged for other gnomes. Lots of people were very unhappy to discover different gnomes. And then we took a whole lot of gnomes and delivered to the school and they were all in the field like they were attending some sort of gnome concert.

Yes. There were hundreds of them. And then the school had to put were all in the field like they were attending some sort of gnome concert. There were hundreds of them. And then the school had to put a notice in the paper saying if you're missing a gnome, please come and collect it from the school and people would walk around being like, that's my gnome. How dumb are students when they stole your gnomes? It was the naughty gnomes. They came alive for the night,

you see. They wanted to go for a meeting at the college. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, the news came out on Friday. A lot of people upset at this news, tip top announcing that they will discontinue two ice cream flavours in its two litre tubs. Those flavours, goody goody gumdrops and cookies and cream. What reason did they give for that? So they say it's to maximise its ability to keep up with customer demand during summer.

So no one, oh, so they're going to bring in some like summery flavours and stuff. Yeah, and it's not known if they'll return after the summer. And I'm assuming they'll still be making the giant, how big are those ones having dairies? Like 10 litres? Oh yeah, no, they've got to have those. That's a classic. You can't go to a Kiwi dairy and not have goody goody gumdrops. But then I, you've

got to have goody goody gumdrops at home in the freezer for the kids. I know Or the adults. Or the adults It's my absolute number one I had two goody goody gumdrops cones from my local dairy last week Did you? Yeah I did. It's the best flavour It's so yum. I was a little derailed on the journey to health

but I don't care. It's so yum. Lollies and ice cream. Yeah, bubblegum flavoured ice cream. Well, you know, silver linings, the good news with the bad news, and we've spoken about this many times, Vaughan, in the past, the alternative to tip-top goody-goody gumdrops,

which I think for a long time has actually been a better product. Marvel are much more, that's the ice cream brand, much more, more like a surname, two O more, that's the ice cream brand, much more, more like a surname, two O's,

Marvel's Groovy Gumdrop. It's so close. It's so close to Groovy Gumdrop. Groovy Gumdrop's Groovy Gumdrop. I haven't tried, I know that you've spoken of this before with great fondness and I'm yet to try the much more's. I'm not on the payroll

for much more ice cream. I assume you are. I'm happy to be though. I I'm not on the payroll for much more ice cream. I assume you are. I'm happy to be, though. I would happily be on the payroll for much more ice cream because they're also the ones that, like, regularly do the tubs with four flavours in one. Oh, yeah. And four good flavours.

It's not like Neapolitan, which is chocolate, strawberry, vanilla. Vanilla's always left at the end. There's two poo ones in there. Chocolate's always gone first. What's the second poo one in Neapolitan? Strawberry. Strawberry, yeah. No, that rules.

Get rid of it. No, because it's not like strawberry ice cream with chunks of strawberry in it. No, strawberry flavoured ice cream. It's like strawberry flavoured ice cream. Yeah, get rid of it. No, it's poo, you're right. But they do the ones that are like four, and one will be like chocolate and one will be like maple

and one will be like squirrely, whirly caramel. Squirrely, whirly, gir caramel. They don't muck around with three dud flavours. They'll put four good flavours in one thing and it's a family pleaser. So you don't have to miss it for long because you can just go and get the other version of it. Yeah, and cheaper. And it's better. It's better. And cheaper. And they do the posh version.

So you know posh ice cream's always come in in a small like potty thing? Yeah, yeah. They do a posh pottle. Poity, toity gumdrops. Yeah. Little posh pothole. Poity-tweety gumdrops. Yeah. A little posh little pothole. Oh, yeah. Well, did you get an email, did you?

Yeah, who's hitting you up? My weekly screen time report. How was it? It's just come out. How was it? Share it because you've been inside with COVID. It's gone. I don't know where it's gone.

Sure. It said nine hours ago. Yeah, I reckon it's embarrassing it'll be bad I've got COVID I've been locked up all weekend he's locked up

yeah so yeah fret not RIP Goody Gumdrops long live Groovy Gumdrops oh another one in the bag and it's a Versace bag as well

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