ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 3rd August 2022

Episode Date: August 2, 2022

Instagram reversalTiktok HackSunday ScariesTop 6 Ways to slow down the earth SLP: Sending back your mealFact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. I rocked in my first rat test for a while. Oh yeah? Yeah, I haven't rat tested since I had COVID. Mostly because I haven't felt or gone. I haven't felt like I needed one or gone anywhere that required one.

Yeah, you have a little bit of a throat thing. Yep. Oh, okay. Still gaga. a little bit of a throat thing. Yep. Oh, okay. Still gaga. I'm still a big gaga. God, God, God.

Because a friend of mine, she was like, I'm sick. I don't feel well. And she's like, I've done a couple of COVID tests. I'm like, you've got to swab the throat.

You've got to do the throat. And then, you know what happened? COVID. Yeah, it was positive. Yeah. Because up the nose,

people don't realise there's two holes. They get the wrong holes or it just doesn't show up. You've got to go back. You've got to go back. Yeah, back down. Yeah, it was positive. Yeah. Because up the nose, people don't realize there's two holes. They get the wrong holes or it just doesn't show up. You've got to go back. You've got to go back, not up. Yeah, back down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go in low and kind of follow that path.

Yeah. I'll be honest. For the first month or two, I was going straight up. I was doing it wrong. I might have had it at that point. I did a rat test this morning as well. First one in ages. Oh, no, that's true.

Not true. I got one last week for my colonoscopy But I did one because I had a vivid dream That I got COVID So you woke up and you were like I've got to have it I just was like I better make sure

That I'm not some kind of psychic People do talk about COVID dreams don't they With a sickness they have the dreams If your dream was that you had COVID Because you had COVID Which is technically a COVID dream You have the most vivid dreams when did you have vivid dreams when you had covid like insanely vivid yeah feverish dreams yeah yeah fever dreams yeah yeah when you're sick i always have like wild dreams why everything's going a

bit crazy isn't it yeah but you're fine you're just what coughing uh yeah just just a common cold i think it's not it's not influencing you thank you i came back positive do you give people But you're fine? You're just, what, coughing? Ah, yeah, just a common cold, I think. Oh, that's good. It's not influencing you. Thank you. Mine came back positive. Do you give people the, and you're still here, do you give people, like, because I noticed the other day

at the gym in the cycle class, before it started, I was just, you know, cycling and waiting. Warming up the legs. And you just hear, oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I don't know if it's always been that. I hear every single cough within a mile of me now. But do you remember in 2020

when you, like, before we went into lockdown and New Zealand was kind of free from it, and then someone would cough and you'd be like, Burn them! Burn them at the stake! I still say that. Should I not be lynching?

I don't know if you would. I've got a drawer and a quarter of them. Oh, dammit, I just lit my torch and sharpened my pitchfork. Put it out. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Today broadcasting live from the Garden City after Banger's bingo last night. She's a windy start. I was going to say the bloody windy city.

Oh my God. Sorry, Wellington, that title's just temporarily was going to say the bloody windy city. Oh, my God. Sorry, Wellington. That title's just temporarily been given to Christchurch this morning. It has. We never wanted that title in the first place. Wellington, Christchurch can have it fair and square. Today. Today only, sure.

I just saw, did you see what Hayley just did? Just used a hanky. Yeah, yeah, a hanky. Yes. She's a hanky girl. How we feel about hanky. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a hanky. Yes. She's a hanky girl. How we feel about hankies? Well, because I used to keep tissues down my bra, and then you'd get sweaty,

and then they'd get manky and wet between the breasts. Right. So then I switched to a hanky, which is a bit more absorbent. And where do you keep that? Between the breasts. Right, between the breasts. I was thinking you were going to say up the sleeve. What do you mean between the breasts?

Are you going to put them on top of the breasts? Nana was a big hanky lady and if it was up the sleeve and if it wasn't up the sleeve it was just like in the top of the bra strap. Not between the breasts. No, it's the best place to hold all sorts of things. No, you've got to waste tissues. No. If I had boobies I'd keep

drinks between them I think. Yeah, I've got a little drinky poo. If I had boobies, I'd keep drinks between them, I think. Yeah, I've got a little drinky poo. You'd keep a pint glass between them. Yeah, yeah. Or I'd keep my Guinness at room temp. A straw coming up the shirt. But breasts, they're fantastic. They're so great to have.

I'm a lifelong fan. Yeah. Yeah. Coming up on the show today, more chances to win cash. We gave away $1,000 yesterday. No big deal. No big deal, thanks to Bluebird. So we've got our Bluebird.

Actually, we checked in five packets of Bluebird chips. We did. And we are going to open one of them for you before 9 o'clock on the show this morning. And inside a cash amount, depending on which flavor you choose. What, we gave away $7.50 on Monday, $1,000 yesterday. $1,000 yesterday. They're not little piddly amounts. No, so your chance to win, it'll be after 8.30 this morning.

Also at 8 o'clock, it's our grocery grab, thanks to the warehouse. Got loads of warehouse credit up for grabs. Just got to name as many items on our convey about. We'll do that after the news at 8 o'clock. Just call us Robin Hood, you know. We're just giving. We're just giving, giving, giving. Who are we stealing from, though?

Because we're not stealing from... The man. The man. Stealing from the man. Next on the show... Oh, my God. Praise be. Praise be.

Something that absolutely drove me insane has been put right. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, I'm referring to it as the Dark Ages. Okay. Because there was just a day. The 1800s when there was like a plague and stuff. No, no, no, the Dark Ages of 2022 was the day.

When was the plague? 1800s weren't when the bubonic plague was around. That sounded like, did you think that sounded legit? No, way earlier. 1400s. 1400s. 1200s. The Dark Ages, historically, are like, yeah, 1200 to 1500.

Well, that sounded roughly right. You should have just let that slide. What are you doing? What are you doing? I expected it to be like two degrees down here. I know. We've all brought so many thermals and buffers. It's 14.

I brought two big jackets, neither of which have been required. I've overpacked. Yeah. It's that north-westerly's blowing into Christchurch. It's very windy, but also very warm. It's making me crazy, though.

Oh, what? Do you feel like you want to do some crazy stuff? Yeah, yeah. Let's get crazy. Because people get crazy when there's an office. We were driving here this morning.

Yeah. You know, I was all for a ram raid. Yeah. I know you were. Anna was driving. He kept grabbing the wheel. Yeah. This one, this one. Yanking it into the... Yeah, I said, that's for a ram raid. Yeah. I know you were. Anna was driving and he kept grabbing the wheel. Yeah.

This one. This one. Yanking it into the... Yeah, I said that's not going to have quality stock. But anyway, I was expecting cold

so I bought these thick socks and I just realised if I had them on inside out and I do this thing where I take my socks off at home

when I've been using them and I just, I leave them inside out and then Sade never puts them the right way in or whoever's doing the washing. Yeah. And so I had it on inside out and And then Sade never puts them the right way in or whoever's doing the washing. And so I had it on inside out.

And it was just littered with like chainsaw shavings. And it was just itchy. So I've taken my sock off to remedy the situation. Okay. There's a foot in the room. You know what I mean? The show's just started. There's a bare foot in the room.

It's hard to concentrate. It is a good looking foot. It's not a bad foot. It's very white though. It's very pasty and white. It's quite hairy too. It is a good looking foot. It's not a bad foot. It's very white though. It's very pasty and white. It's quite hairy too. Hairy on top. Yeah, a little hobbit foot there.

Yeah, not bad. Sexy hobbit. What was I talking about? The Dark Ages. That's right. Which are not the 1800s. No, no, no. Well off.

Famously not. So there was a day that you just went on Instagram on your life, in your normal life, and suddenly it had turned black. Yeah. And everything was bigger, and it wasn't normal. And videos started playing. There was random suggestions.

I was like, who? I don't follow these people. What is this place? And I hated it. I use that excuse too. I don't follow these people. This is a suggested post. I don't know why.

She's wearing a disgusting swimsuit. Oh, my God. It's barely there. Who are? Anyway, so Instagram tried something new. Yeah. And they made it all black and they made the videos basically TikTok. They made TikTok and they called it Instagram.

And everyone hated it. Like if you went on Twitter on that day, as I did, to try to see what was happening, because they were rolling it out account by account. So having to meet before it happened to you. I never got it. No. You didn't get it. Never got it.

And people were irate, including Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian. They hated it. And if you remember, last time Kylie had an app, Snapchat. It lost billions of dollars. The company's market value plunged $1.3 billion. Wow. So if Kylie Jenner says she doesn't like the changes to your app, you change them back. And yesterday, that happened. Instagram, they did a rollback.

Right. They were like, whoops. And they're like, what did they say? Did they say it's not ready yet? It's not right. Yeah, they just said, the head of Instagram, Adam Mosseri, said, I'm glad we took the risk. If we're not failing every once in a while, we're not thinking big enough or bold enough. Right. But we definitely need to take a big step back and regroup

based on the feedback. So if you go on your Instagram, suddenly it's back to the glorious app that it once was. You can shoot, there's photos, everything's just normal. It's a normal scroll. I mean, they're still going to try and be TikTok though, aren't they? Absolutely. They're more focused on reels.

Yeah. And the little videos and stuff. Just need to work on their algorithm because that was what was annoying people. The stuff that was coming up was not interesting. Are we still doing ugly Instagram? Remember that was a thing? Oh, is that when the photo dumps? Yeah, it was like blurry photo.

And then like three photos and it was you looking absolutely like schmack and hot, like the best you've looked in months. But you've got to hide that. Well, you put it in the middle, don't you? Because people know it's in there, so they go looking for it. You've got your thigh gap going on in some sort of photo and you're like, oh, oops. Just in my photo dump. I would have to stand very wide to get your thigh gap going on in some sort of photo, and you're like, oh, oops. Jeez, I just did my photo dump. I would have to stand very wide to get a thigh gap this winter.

I'd have to stand very wide. I'd have to be basically doing the splits to get a thigh gap these days. Next on the show, there's a hack on TikTok. Oh, you're so old. Oh, my God, TikTok. You're so old. Do you know, I saw TikToks the other day? I was like, who still eats TikToks?

The orange ones are so yum, though. Do you still, but who buys TikToks? Like, it's only if someone's got some and they might give you one, right? Like, when's the last time you bought TikToks? Don't plummet the stocks of TikTok. Are they, he's not exactly Kylie Jenner. I don't think he's got that much influence over TikTok. Excuse me.

They're a breath mint, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, but loosely. No, they're a tiny, small lolly. They're a tiny mint, aren't they? Yeah, yeah, but loosely. No, they're a tiny, small lolly. They're a tiny lolly. Tiny lolly. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Airport hack has gone viral on TikTok. And I was actually just talking to Jared.

I was trying to remember who this was. I think producer Anna wants you. Remember she rolled her ankle? Yes. And we were wheeling her through the airport in a wheelchair. Yes. Do you remember the hate we got from that on Instagram? There were a few messages.

People weren't happy. I don't. They thought we were taking the mick. We thought we were taking the mick. I wouldn't. I wouldn't take the mick. This is the airport hack on TikTok that has received a bit of hate. Because this is the...

Because, you know, in Europe, the UK, the US at the moment, with all the COVID sickness, all the staff shortages at airports, airport lines are insane. Like we, we don't have it as rough here in New Zealand, but overseas it's hours to move like meters.

People are saying. Even Melbourne airport has been terrible. And Bali was bad. Yeah. Guys, it was really hard to be in Bali. It was really, yeah. Like, really hard. It's hard to complain, isn't it, when you're on holiday?

But a hack has gone viral and it has received a backlash because the hack is you fake a leg injury, like a broken leg or a sprained, and you get a wheelchair. You know, the free airport wheelchairs, because they wheel you to the front. Do they? Have you ever seen anyone? They wheel them through right to the front, and the staff take you through. You wait, right?

You wait to the side, but you don't wait in the curly queue, because you can't fit a wheelchair in there. Right. But what about people, and I hate to sort of be the voice of reason here, what about people who actually need a wheelchair? Well, there's like 40 of them. In total? Wheelchairs, yeah. But you're going to be waiting somewhere,

because then if you skip the queue and get on the plane, you're just going to be waiting for everybody else to get on the plane. There's going to be waiting somewhere. Yeah, but you're not going to be waiting two hours in a line. You're going to be waiting two hours in a line. You're going to be waiting two hours in a seat. And then you're not going to be able to get up because you faked an injury to get on the plane. Yeah, but in the wheelchair, they put you to the front of the airport screening. Yeah.

But where are you going? I don't know. You just get it. You leave the wheelchair and just go to the cafe and pay $18 for a muffin. Oh, I'm all for riding a wheelchair if you're at a hospital and there's one in the corridor that's not being used. Just a little quick up and down the corridor. I'm certainly not condoning this.

Vaughn, I'm not condoning this. It feels like you're telling me off. It feels like you're condoning this. It sounds like you, an able-bodied man. Yeah, it's real ableist. It's very ableist. Right, I'm cancelled like Beyonce. You're over.

You're off. You're cancelled, man. Well, she's changing her. She's changing her, yeah. I would have thought, just on the Beyonce thing, I'm cancelled like Beyonce. You're over. You're off. You're cancelled, man. Well, she's changing her. She's changing her, yeah. I would have thought, just on the Beyonce thing, if you haven't heard, her new album has a sort of an ableist slur in it. Right. It does. Which is changing.

Yeah, if you're over 40 and you're like, what's an ableist slur? It would be casually using a derogatory term at someone who's not able-bodied. Yeah. And she said, I'm going to change it just like Lizzo did, to which I said, shouldn't you have already changed it? Shouldn't you have gone, wow, that was big backlash for Lizzo.

Two months ago? Yeah. Lizzo did that? Before Beyonce released the album, this was a very public situation. Yes. Which Beyonce probably could have headed off at the pass. Yeah. Lizzo did that before Beyonce released the album. Yeah. This was a very public situation. Yes. Which Beyonce probably could have headed off at the pass. Yeah. When that exact same word was on her album,

she could have been like, oh, hey. Yeah, even someone in her staff or record company, no one picked it up in two months. Is this the problem? No one dare speak to Queen Bee in a critical manner. Or maybe they tried to be like, hey, remember what happened to Lizzo? And she was like, don't touch my lyrics. Yeah, shut your mouth on Beyonce.

I stand by them. And then when there's a little bit of public backlash, she's like, oops, sorry. I don't know. It's like, I think you did. Well, I'm certainly not condoning this, but I'm just saying maybe be on the lookout for this sordid behaviour at airports. I just dress up as a pilot. But also... That's a good one.

I don't know if it is. But don't go up to every person in a wheelchair being like, you don't look like you need that. What's wrong with you? Yeah. Because you also don't know what anybody's going through. That's ableist. Primarily, that's ableist as well.

All right, next. We're pretty woke over here, right? We're not Fletch remember five minutes ago when Fletch wanted to use the wheelchair I did not say I needed to use

the wheelchair we need to separate ourselves from him yeah professionally we need to professionally sever the ties and personally

we're distancing ourselves the Sunday scaries you might not have heard of it but you've probably experienced it it's that feeling on a Sunday night when have heard of it, but you've probably experienced it. It's that feeling on a Sunday night when you're lying in bed and you've had your weekend and suddenly you're just riddled with stress and anxiety and anticipation for the week ahead.

Now, I get this every day, but on a Sunday, it is bigger because I don't know what it is. Sometimes if you've had a big boozy weekend, I can feel really anxious. But also without booze, you just sort of lie there being like, your mind starts racing. You've had a couple of days off.

So it's anxiousness about the week ahead. Yeah. Okay. But I think the people used to just be like, ah, the Sunday scaries. It's like not really a thing. It's like a casual sort of... Or it's a come down

from your Friday and Saturday night. Yeah, yeah. Like that's on you. It's your hangover still. Yeah. And now you're just wondering like how bad

did I embarrass myself? Did I say anything rude to anybody? I lost my handbag. I've got to deal with that tomorrow. Yeah. That's scary.

But research has found that it might be just more than a little bit of like urban dictionary slang. Yeah. That's scary. But research has found that it might be just more than a little bit of like urban dictionary slang. Right. More than just like, yeah, I'm a good at thing. And it is to do with the fact

that in particular, Gen Z's are millennials. Yeah. Now, I always forget. Millennial cusp form? Millennial, yeah. Jesus Christ, you sound like you're 60s.

You sound like a boomer. I think they call us the great generation. For those that missed it on Instagram, Vaughan did a bit of a piano rendition last night, didn't he? He sung. Yeah, but I've also got COVID. It's a combination of things. Flu, COVID, monkeypox.

It may be a reaction to those disgusting butterscotch lozenges. The lozenge, the sweet, sweet butterscotch. The body is rejecting this. Yeah, lozenge is the only thing keeping this little bit of our purse together today. That's what's happening there is the body's rejecting it. And you're... I'm an ex. Ex.

I'm only just, but I'm like an exennial. I'm like a cast millennial ex. Sure. Try to slip in here with the cool kids. So it's found that Gen Zs and millennials in particular are the ones that have a difficult time, more of a difficult time falling asleep on Sunday night compared to other days of the week. And it's because we're just blimmin' stressed.

Yeah, but Gen Zs and millennials wear their hearts on their sleeves. They're not like the good old generations that just kept burying stress down until one day they just have a massive stroke and die. Or like their heart just goes, and it explodes. But they talk about it, don't they? And then other generations think that they worry too much, but everybody else has just been pushing it down for so long.

Yeah, exactly. But we're just saying, oh, I'm feeling a little bit anxious. And they're like, we never had that. No, we certainly didn't bloody talk. Ah! From the yummy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there.

This is one of those fascinating stories that, you know, the headline is interesting enough in itself. Scientists baffled as Earth spins faster than usual, making days shorter. God, not now, Earth. Not now. So it's indistinguishable to us, but using

the nuclear clock, which is insanely accurate, they have said on June 29 this year, Earth's rotation took 1.59 milliseconds less than 24 hours. So if that continued for some time, they might need to remove a second from the atomic clock. Which then has,

you'll remember Y2K. Yes. Well. They didn't know what was going to happen when it ticked over 2000 because apparently that hadn't been calculated for. Now nothing went wrong. And they're saying we're not sure the effects on technology could be colossal and a major

source of pain for hardware infrastructure. You've heard that before haven't we? Yeah, see I remember the millennium and nothing happened so I play fast and loose with clock resets. Yeah, or we just pretend that the earth's not spinning faster and just get a little bit out of whack but our machines don't kill us.

I reckon, because as a marching girl, I have incredible balance. And I'll say I've been feeling it. You've been feeling it's a little bit shorter. I've been feeling the increase in the spin. Spinning a little bit faster. That's actually the wine. Ah. And the mojitos that you had last night.

Sometimes you stand up too fast and your blood pressure can't keep up. So some scientists have said this is due to something called the Chandler wobble. Could the Earth be any more wobbly? No, the Chandler wobble, which I've never heard of, is about three to four metres at the Earth's surface. But between 2017 and 2020, it's disappeared. The Chandler wobble. chandler wobble other other experts said the melting and re-freezing of the ice caps and on the world's tallest mountains yeah because it's the difference between the seasons now is more extreme than it's

ever been yeah uh may also be contributing to it. Wow. Okay, well, you've got the top six ideas. Well, we've got to slow it down. Yeah. Slow down the spin. The top six ways to slow down the Earth. It's spinning too fast. Number six is space anchor.

Okay. So we just chuck an anchor out into space. Where does it anchor to? Where it's weightless. Yeah. So nothing. I don't know. But I just think it would be a great tourist attraction too.

Just another planet? The sun? Hook onto the moon? No, we're far too powerful. No, because the moon's going round too quick. That would probably just drag the moon into it. Okay, yeah, right. Imagine the tides. Yeah. Also, I've just thought,

because everything's weightless in space, if you could get a massive anchor out to space and then rope back down to Earth. Yeah. Would it hold the rope out? I don't know. It'd probably be a bit floppy. It'd probably be a bit floppy.

Oh, we didn't learn that at drama school. Yeah. That wasn't part of my degree. Oh, I'll contact your school and make sure they spend some time on it. Thank you. Number five on the list of the top six ways to slow down the Earth. It's spinning too fast, sails.

Like effectively parachutes. Oh, yeah. That's a great idea. Until the space wind starts blowing the other way and all of a sudden we speed up, you know what I'm saying?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. We'll need to detect it. Tack and jibe. Tack and jibe and put out the... The big one. The big sail.

Pete Montgomery, he knows what he's talking about. Yeah, he can sort it out. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six ways to slow down the Earth Put out the big one. We'll get Pete Montgomery. He knows what he's talking about. Yeah, he can commentate the whole thing. Number four on the list of the top six ways to slow down the Earth. It's spinning too fast. Just ask nicely. If you tried using your manners.

Sometimes it's just asking nicely will do it. Number three on the list of the ways to slow down the Earth. Massive booster rockets. We built some massive towers with rockets on the top. Okay. Do we send Bruce Willis anywhere to sort that out? He's not doing so well at the moment. No, he's not doing much. I don't know that we would put our trust

in him. Arnie, maybe? He turned 75 this week. Yeah, but he's still ripped. If we're going to send anyone we've got to send a modern day action hero. Maybe Chris Evans. Oh, I don't want to lose Chris Evans. Chris Pratt? Yes. Yeah, we could win lose Chris Evans. Chris Pratt? Yes. Yeah, we could win.

It feels like we could afford to chop Chris. Yeah, we could lose Chris Pratt. Yeah. Okay. Okay. All agreed. Chris Pratt's going into space. Motion passed.

The eyes have it. Yep. Number two on the list of the top six ways to slow down the Earth that's spinning too fast. More massive dams. Oh, okay. Because that's what... Do you remember when China built the Three Gorges Dam, biggest dam on Earth?

Yeah. And they said a lot of Earth's rotation is to do with the tides. Yeah. And because all that water was getting pulled towards but then stopped by the dam, that actually slowed the rotation of Earth by 0.06 microseconds. Thanks, China. Thank you, China. No, that's good. We want that.06 microseconds. Thanks, China. Thank you, China.

No, that's good. We want that. But we want more. So maybe another megadam. Or could they just top up the megadam? They could make it a more mega megadam. Yeah, just build another couple of inches. If we start tutu-ing with the tides and the moon and the likes,

what's it going to do for women's menstruation? That's the big question. Oh, yeah. And your horoscopes, which are also tied. Your horoscopes, your hormones. I've never thought about it. I know it's it ties into the lunar cycle, but so if you have your period on a full moon, do you always have your period

on a full moon? No. If it's like regular. Oh, if you're regular. It slips out of but it can slip out of. So you could always be on the good fishing cycle too. Yeah, you could be. So Bill Hohepper's Maori fishing guide is also Bill Hohepper's Maori fishing guide is also Bill Hohepper's your missus is having her period guide. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amazing. Interchangeable. And he knows when to plant your kumara. Yes, good man. Gosh. And number one on the list of the top six ways to slow down the earth if it's spinning too fast, everybody else walk in one direction at the same time. So we effectively make it like a treadmill. Right.

Do you and your friends ever do that in the spa pool or the little pool? Yes. Yeah, great for it. So you think that we all time up and say at this time... You could lead this rather than Chris Pratt because you're a marching girl. You could get everybody in time

marching the same way. Yeah, left, right, left, right. And when we walk against the spin, it just slows it down ever so slightly. Okay, that's a great plan. Lovely. Thursday? Sure. I'm free.

It's Thursday. I'm free. That is today's top six. Now, a very important, highly demanded, highly funded, I imagine, study has been conducted in America. Okay. But as we know, America is the voice of the world. Yeah.

So they speak for all when they speak. Around what is the perfect cookie? What is the number one cookie? And we're talking about your fresh baked goods. Yeah. Not your packet biscuits. Your supermarket ones, yeah. And at the end of all this hard work,

at the end of all this hard work, at the end of everything that they asked, it came down to the humble chocolate chip cookie. Yeah, but if you were making biscuits at home, what other biscuits would you ever make? Well, you can make a yo-yo. Are they the ones with a lot of work in a yo-yo? Yeah, a lot of work. Oatmeal. A lot of work.

Oatmeal raisin. Anzac. Oh, yeah, Anzac. But it's just a New Zealand-only biscuit. I'd imagine this is an American survey. A Belgium. They're delicious. Yeah, a lot of Belgian biscuits.

Yeah. Make your own shrewsberries. Now, they said that because you've got the crunch of the chips, you've got the chewiness that you get in a chocolate chip cookie, especially if you make it with brown sugar. Yeah, always make cookies with brown sugar. What are you doing with this white sugar? Brown sugar.

Some people put in condensed milk, cinnamon, vanilla. Yeah. You can do it all sorts of ways, but when it comes down to it, it's still just a chocolate chip cookie. Yeah, you can't beat it. You can't. I used to make Anzacs all the time,

you know, with the cornflakes. No, they're Afghans. Oh, to make Anzacs all the time, you know, with the cornflakes. No, they're Afghans. Oh, sorry, Anzacs. Afghans. Yeah, Afghans are my favourite. Cornflakes, yeah. Cornflakes. They're a real New Zealand biscuit too, aren't they?

Little walnut on top. Yeah. Chocolate icing. And because you get the chocolate icing mostly. Yeah, you don't typically ice a biscuit, a cookie. No. That's why I think the chocolate chip wins. Because it's got the chocolate inside.

It's beautiful in its simplicity. Do you know what wins? It's those giant chocolate chip cookies you get at the tuck shop. You know the ones that fill the bag? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The cookie times. No, no, no, no, no. Like the homemade ones that were like the size of your head.

We had those at primary and high school. Really? You know those? No, I think we just had the cookie times. You weren't a fan of the Vaughan Airdropped me a note about the cookie yesterday on the plane. They had the plant, on the flight to Christchurch yesterday, they had the plant-based cookie times. But cookie needs butter, and it needs butter from the teat of a cow. I tell you what, it sure does, because these things were like leather.

Oh. They were not a fan. Not a fan. They were not good. I wanted the Airdropped, I wrote a note. This is another favourite thing of mine to do on a plane, is write a leather. Oh. They were not a fan. Not a fan. They were not good. I wanted the airdrop. I wrote a note. This is another favourite thing of mine to do on a plane is write a note. Yeah. And then see who else has got the airdrop open to receive the note.

It's a little bit pesty. That's pesty. It's a little bit pesty. No, no, it depends what you're discussing. If it's an open forum discussion on the biscuit that just got served with tea and coffee, I don't think that's pesty. Eh, it's a little pesty. If it's a picture of your genitals, absolutely not.

Yeah, but when you're accepting it, you don't know which one is which. You don't know if it's a picture of your junk or a commentary on the cookie. I thought you got a little preview. Do you? A little airdrop preview. Oh, okay. It wants to send you a note. I just clicked accept very quickly.

Yeah, and then you didn't reply. Well, it's a bit pesty. It's a bit pesty, airdropping. Eh, it wasn't pesty. You know what? It makes every biscuit or cookie better. There's a little nuke in the micro. A little 10 seconds. Yeah, 10 secondsropping. It wasn't pesty. You know what? It makes every biscuit or cookie better. There's a little nuke

in the micro. A little 10 seconds. Yeah, 10 seconds. A little 10 seconds in the micro. Put your cookie time packet in there. Play ZM's Fletch,

Vaughan and Hayley. This is terrible. So Spain has had to apologise. The entire country? Yeah, they all had to get together one by one and apologise to a group of British women

who had, so they saw this campaign that Spain was doing They all had to get together one by one and apologize to a group of British women. So they saw this campaign that Spain was doing about, it was done by the equality minister. And it was a summer, I didn't know they had an equality minister, a minister for equality. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. The Spanish equality ministers, it was a summer campaign. Yeah.

It was like, come to Spain. It's summer. It's great. All bodies welcome was the kind of thing. You don't have to look like Claudia Schiffer. I don't know why she was there. Why did you go for 1980s lingerie

just came to mind. You don't have to look like Marilyn Monroe. You don't have to look like Cleopatra. Queen of Egypt. Ruler of the Nile. You bring your own body to the beach. Anyway, so this campaign was this body positive campaign.

It shows an older woman with a mastectomy, lots of different types of bodies. Just on the beach, enjoying themselves. And I will say the Photoshop job on this is absolutely terrible. The beach is like a cartoon. And the women are clearly not on this beach. But they are all in togs. A third woman has had to complain about this campaign

because none of these women consented to being on this thing. They've just taken images or used their face to promote these bodies on the beach. So where did they get their faces? Instagram, just their like personal things. Or, so this is what I thought. I thought that was the end of the story. They've taken their bodies and put them on this campaign

as a body positive summer campaign for Spain. But it gets worse. So one of the women that complained was simply like, that's me and I didn't say that you could have that. The second woman that complained said, that's me and I didn't say you could have that and why have you edited out my prosthetic leg? The equality minister.

Yeah, just to promote equality. Equality in all bodies on the beach. Yeah. They photoshopped out her prosthetic leg and she said she was shaking with anger when she saw it because she was like, that's my body.

That's not my leg. That's my face. They're using that to promote a body. Then the third woman, the latest woman who's come out, who is the, say, older woman in the beach, she has had a double mastectomy. But on the beach, she has had a double mastectomy. But on the campaign, it shows a woman who's had a single mastectomy.

And she's like... So they gave her a boob? They gave her one boob. And she's like, one, I'm on the campaign and I didn't say that you could use my likeness. But two, you've given me a breast that I don't have and this is a woman who like, has done campaigns before about

Right. being a woman without breasts and being proud of it and she's like, so why, you've just insulted me twofold by giving me a breast.

So rather than pay for people to be in the advertising campaign like normally you would do. Yes. They've just stolen people's images from Facebook and Instagram. Yes.

Wow. And then advertise in the UK where they've stolen these images. Yeah. They're so photoshopped that the people who made the campaign said, you know, we sincerely apologise for any damages that may have been caused to the women in this campaign. We did not know that the images were of real women. But they're photos.

Are real. Whose bodies do you think that they are? I just Googled it to see, and you're right, the Photoshop's terrible. So bad. What about the woman in the bottom left-hand corner who's had her armpit hair Photoshopped on? On.

So she's like this absolute stunner, and she's like pointing up in the sky doing the peace sign, and you can literally see that her armpit hair which I'm guessing is her horrible

disfigurement yeah is is is just like someone's turned it onto Microsoft paint the spray can

tool and been like because it is it's like super cartoon yeah anyway the women are not happy they've apologised but it is just not on but it got us thinking. Anyway, the women are not happy. No.

They've apologised, but it is just not on. But it got us thinking, and this is, I guess this is such a funny question to ask, but like, when did you end up on an advertisement? Yes. And maybe you didn't know that was happening. Could we also include when you've ended up like on the news and you didn't, you know, like you could be stock footage of a smoker or an overweight person. An overweight person.

I was still, I listened to a podcast recently that was like, you see those shows like Super Size Me and they just video quote unquote fat people. Yeah.

And you're like, those are people. You didn't go up to them and be like, can I use you as an example of what? Those people just walking down the street

of an undesirable body. That's terrible. On the news, they'll just cut the heads example of what... Or there's people just walking down the street. Or an undesirable body. That's terrible. On the news, they'll just cut the heads off. Yeah. And so they'll just have a midsection. Of someone smoking a durry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or someone doing something.

Or someone overweight. And you're just like, okay, they never signed up for that. Yeah. So that's what we want to hear from you. Yeah. Is if this has ever happened to you in any way. Maybe you've seen yourself. Someone's taken your Instagram post and used it to advertise a product.

Slim tea. Maybe you got... A slim tea? Yeah. Or a weight loss thing? How they'll take like well-known New Zealanders and put them on like weight loss things. Some weird scams online. I remember Petra Bagus had one of those.

She was like the face for older woman. Right. Yeah. Ouch. She didn't deserve that. No. Maybe a bar took your photo and then you were ending up on their advertising.

Yeah, or you see those big screen printed, sign printed things of people at a concert. And they're like, ah! And you're like, that person was just trying to enjoy a concert and now they're advertising your event. Or maybe we used you in our footage of this year's Friday Jams live advertisement that we've made. Maybe you've got a bone to pick with us.

Well, it'll be interesting to see if this has happened to anyone. 0800 dials at M is the number. You can text as well. 9696. When did you end up on an advertisement? Alright, give us a call. We're talking about when you have seen yourself on an advertisement and you went, that's me. What? I didn't say you could use that. This has happened to some women in Spain or some women in Britain who were used by Spanish advertising. Yeah, to

advertise a body positive campaign, but in the campaign they've edited their positive bodies. It's very weird and the women are like, why are you giving me a breast and a leg and I don't have that and I don't want it. So it turns out somebody messaged in, they have looked into this, they work in advertising apparently, this is all the talk in the industry.

Wow. The woman that I said had her armpit hair photoshopped on is the woman that had her prosthetic leg photoshopped out. Oh. So they took her prosthetic leg out and gave her armpit hair. Right. That's the double whammy. That's the double whammy. That's the double whammy.

Yeah. They've removed the actual thing you can be positive about and photoshopped you with something that's no big deal. Yeah. If you change someone enough, can you get away with it? No, because it is her face. It's your face. It's your face.

Okay. Well, some people, we've got some calls. Scott, let's start with Scott. When were you used in an ad, Scott? Morning, guys. Thank you for the timing. 32 years ago, I actually was running for New Zealand at Commonwealth Games in Auckland. Oh, wow!

Congratulations! How'd you go? Yeah, I went. Proud of you. Proud of you. Proud of you, Scott. Yeah, New Zealanders aren't sprinters. No. I had a photo taken, and a couple of years later,

I was actually down in Queenstown picking a friend up. She was staying at a religious camp, and I walked into this camp, and here was my photo absolutely plastered over all these photos, all these posters saying, run to God. Oh, Scott! Are you a man of the Lord, Scott? I believe, but no, not that much.

You're not running to God? Yeah, we certainly would like a small payment maybe for your likeness being used. I was going to ask, but being a religious organisation, I thought that your likeness being used. I was going to ask, but being a religious organisation, I thought that probably wasn't really appropriate. Oh, wow. They asked for money, so I'm pretty sure it's all right if you ask for money.

True, true. Yeah, nice. Scott, thanks for your call. Let's go to Jackie. Jackie, when was your image used in advertising? When did you see yourself? Good morning. This was a little while ago,

but I rocked on up with my daughter to a fair and she was on the side of a tent. What? The side of a tent? Advertising what? Boom. She was playing football. The photo had been taken of her while she was playing football.

And, yeah, they put it on tent and then we went to the club and she was on cork flip banners that popped up. Like, they just used their image all over the show. But what was it advertising? Football. So it was a local football club. Oh.

And I think they were trying to sort of do a bit of an ethnicity thing because she's half Puka'i and Maori. Bit of a diversity tick. Yeah, they were like, look, diversity in football, guys. Yeah. Wow. But that would be quite freaky, though, eh? That would be something you would ask a parent to do.

You'd ask the parent, for sure. Yeah. There were three kids on it and none of the parents knew. And so we were just sitting there going, oh, my gosh. Did you say anything? Well, there wasn't anyone there. Someone had borrowed the tent to put up for a fair. So even the person that was there,

there was no one there that actually owned the physical tent. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. It lives on forever. It does. Jackie, thanks. You're called Troy. Troy, when did you see yourself in advertising?

Well, good morning, everyone. Good morning. It was actually my kids. Okay. We sat down one night to watch, I think it was called The One, that was Adidas were plugging the new all-black jersey. Oh, yes. And they were showing off punters walking to the Twickenham game in England, and there are my two kids all dressed up in all-black gear

to go watch the All Blacks. Wow. My kids have, well, one, never been to England, and two, never been to Twickenham. Oh, so it was just like from a New Zealand game. Well, we live in Wellington, so it must have been when we were Zealand game. Well, we live in Wellington, so it must have been when we were going to the stadium to watch the ABs. We had to sit down and ask some questions and say,

hey, you know, did you tell us you've been to England? Yeah. Or should we be asking for some Adidas shoes? Yeah, I would have been asking for some free Adidas shoes. Oh, yeah, same. Hit them up for some shoes. Troy, thanks for your call. Some messages in.

Someone said, my photo was used to promote New Zealand as a gay holiday destination. Oh. The mission was not sought, and the major problem was I was still in the closet. Oh. Not many people knew. Okay, yeah, that's not good. That's not good. I went with a friend to a school gala at St. Cuths.

This is a college. Yeah. It's pretty ooh-la-la. It's ooh-la-la. Yeah. When I was about 12, someone took my photo and he ended up putting me on the cover of the school's Term 3 magazine and I wasn't even a student at St. Cuths. I mean, just take the compliment, right?

Take the publicity. They thought you were hot enough to be on the cover. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was looking for Foodtown in Lower Hutt and I was getting rebranded to Woolworths and was asked to do some photos

of the new uniform. Oh, yeah. A few months later, my ugly mug was on a big billboard by all the bus stops and many other locations around New Zealand saying,

best thing since vine-ripened tomatoes. Wait! What? That is something you should be paid like a lot of money for. Do you know, I've just remembered that this actually happened to Aaron. So...

Your fiancé. My fiancé. My to-be-husband. And his brother landed in Italy to a giant cardboard cutout of Aaron. And he was like, what? And it was, like, Aaron all dressed up as this like Roman warrior from something totally different. Like he did it for like a Samsung promotion.

And then it was just like, welcome to Rome. They had him as like a Roman warrior. Wow, okay. And his brother was like, that's my brother. And just got a photo with it. Is it still there? No, no, this was a few years ago. And then Aaron like let Samsung know.

Oh, wow. And they were like, oh, thanks. So then Tourism Rome or this airport didn't even ask Samsung's permission.

Let alone Aaron. They just found it online and thought, this guy looks Roman. He looks, yeah, I mean he's Italian. Some other messages in,

my partner ended up in an Instagram ASICS ad. He ran the Auckland Half Marathon last year. He had all ASICS gear on. So someone just took a photo of him and put him in an ASICS ad. They never even asked. He should get some free stuff. Yeah, I'd ask

for some free shoes. Someone said there was a massive divider board at Bayfair when they were doing their huge extension renovations. That was a photo of my whole family, including my mother-in-law and dogs. We were walking along Mount Maunganui Beach. We never even knew the photo had been taken. And then we were being used as like... That's creepy.

Yeah. Yeah. I would have asked for some butter chicken vouchers for the food court. Oh, yum. I love a more curry. Like free butter chicken for a year. I'm just trying to think if they've got an Indian in the food court there. Oh, do they not?

Surely they do. How do you can't have a food court and not have an Indian? You've got a McDonald's. There's sushi. There's a fish and chip. There's McDonald's. A tank or a pitta pitta. Maybe ask for an entire food court credit for the year.

Maybe just a mall credit. A mall credit. Yeah, that'd be lovely. Yeah, but imagine getting credit for a mall food court and getting there and they don't have curry. Yeah. They don't have mall curry. My auntie was at the swimming pool doing laps and the pool staff took a photo of her for promotional use.

She had a swim cap on and goggles and a big grin and two thumbs up. A couple of weeks later, she went back to the pool and saw her picture on a new promotional poster which was supporting Down Syndrome people learning to swim. And she is not. She doesn't have Down Syndrome. No, she doesn't have down syndrome. She was like, I think there's been a mistake. Someone just said smile.

She did two thumbs up. Cheapest. Are you gonna check this? I'm not checking this stuff. Is it just going through one person and no one else is coming in and being like Wow. You ain't nothing but a dog player. I get it.

The Wi-Fi is terrible. Today's Silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole, sending back your mail if you find a hair in it. Harley Jane. Yeah, just the other day I did go to a well-known franchise, salad franchise, who will remain anonymous. Okay, yeah. And I opened up my orange box and I... I have no idea what you're talking about.

Yeah. Yeah. I just want to respect the brand because I love this brand. Okay. And yeah, I was eating my salad and then it was a little hair in there and I recognised the hair to be from the man

who served me my salad and I just pulled it out and kept on eating because that's what you do. If my own hair fell into a meal, you just pull it out. And if it's your hair, you know where that's been. I think I'm kind of with you on this. I can't. Like, unless it looks puby, like wiring pubis, then I would send it back.

But I'm not going to send a restaurant meal back over a hair. It's one hair. It's not going to make you sick. The only person that's going to do it is you. What if the hair's wrapped right around the potato? What, like it's... Like a string. Like a string and it's bow. I'd probably get rid of that potato, but I wouldn't send the meal back.

See, if I'm sending a potato back, I'm not eating the potato, I'm sending the whole thing. No, I would just, like, put the potato to the side and just carry on with that plate. Okay. Well, I'm surprised by this. I thought it would be a higher number of people. Only 57% of people

would send it back. 43% nah, just pick it out and keep eating. I'm so glad we're talking about this finally. My mum's a real sender backerer. Yeah. Yeah. It's that generation whereas I think we're a little bit more, you know,

faster loose. For some reason, eyelashes freak me out quite a bit. More than like a hair. Why? No, they're both gross, but eyelashes are so tiny.

I don't know. It's right next to the eye. Okay. Would you send, would you, if you got a meal, it came out and it had like someone had chewed their nail off, and it was a nail. Dude, are you kidding me?

That's the most disgusting thing. That's not the poll. That's not the poll. That's not the poll. You'd send that back, though, eh? Obviously. Yeah. I'd send back a nail.

I'd send back a finger. Yeah. Okay, yeah. How big a finger? Which finger? Yeah, pinky. I could probably just shove it to the side. I'd just put it to the side. What if it was a plaster? Would you send back a meal with a plaster? Yeah, pinky. I could probably just shove it to the side. I just put it to the side.

What if it was a plaster? Would you send back a man with a plaster? Of course I'm sending back a plaster. Was that a couple of blokes? Okay, okay. I'm asking. I'm not. What about a scab?

I'm making a scene. What about a scab? I'm making a scene. You're so mangy. Okay, right. What about a crutch? Someone's crutch. What do you mean?

Someone's crutch. Like a crutch is, yeah. A moon boot. What if there was a moon boot in your salad? Would you send that back? Would you send crutch? I couldn't be angry. Someone's crutch. What do you mean? Like a crutch. A moon boot. What if there was a moon boot in your salad? Would you send that back? Would you send crutch? I couldn't be angry. And I was like, someone's whole crutch?

Is it in your salad? Is it in your pasta? Yeah. What? I couldn't be angry if there was a moon boot in there. I'd be too curious. Okay. Some feedback.

Ashley writes, I usually pull it out Unless it's so Enmeshed Enmeshed Enmeshed Like entangled Never heard this word before Usually pull it out Unless it's so Enmeshed in your fried chicken

Within your burger You have no choice But to return it So she's saying If it can be removed She will remove it Oh yeah But if it's like

Caught up in a batter Or something Yeah It's too much in Emily says Look I'm sorry But I just tell my but if it's like caught up in a batter or something. Yeah, it's too much in. Emily says, look, I'm sorry, but I just tell my brain that it's wrong. So she's telling her brain, she's telling herself, no, you're wrong. It's not a hair.

I say it's not a hair. It's a figment of your imagination. And once it's out of the mail, was it ever really there? No, it's definitely a hair. It definitely exists. Yeah. Emily just feels like she's lying to herself. Does that work for like if you get a speeding ticket yeah that never happened emily happened you don't have to pay the emily the government doesn't exist emily yeah i don't need to go to court yeah what

court that was a dream that was a dream court is just what judicial system yeah i dreamed up that system we're living in a simulation yeah uh todd, I usually pick it out and keep eating, but let the staff know at the end so it doesn't happen to another person. No, because then the whole staff knows that you're manky. Yeah, it's too late then, isn't it? Either way, there was a hair in it, but I quite happily devoured that keratin dose. Paula says, I'm too chicken to complain, but I did complain when I found a human tooth in a muffin.

How? How does your tooth fall out into a muffin batter and you don't know? You've got to get rid of your batch of muffins. Yeah. Dare I say it. I love a muffin. But if I dropped a tooth into a batch,

I'd probably discard the batch. Chelsea said, this is semi-related, I worked at a restaurant as a teen. They had coupons. It's too long a story. Wrap it up. James,

I found glass in my food and still ate it. I said to the waitress, what a great meal when she asked how everything was. It's so Kiwi of you. You could have died

if it's all in glass. How was everything? Oh, it was lovely. It's so Kiwi of you. Dude could have died if it's all in glass. How was everything? Oh, it was lovely. It was beautiful. There's a hole in my throat but other than that, delicious. Chevelle says,

I just get my husband to send it back. Sarah said, if my husband sent it back to me each time one of my hairs was in it, he'd never eat. Oh, yeah, right.

She's molting. She might need a hairnet at home. I'm a shedder. She might do. I'm a shedder. And Tessa says, he'd never eat. She's molting. She might need a hairnet at home. She might do. And Tessa says, ooh yuck, you don't know what head that came off. Yeah, but the majority of people, the majority of people who are able to hold a job

are clean. Yeah, I mean it's not a dreadlock, is it? Would you send a dreadlock? Would you send a whole dreadback? Yes. I want to chew on that. Apparently the government is teaming up with Shortland Street. To infiltrate our minds? Yeah, to get in there, no.

To encourage nurses. Okay. Nursing and nurses. Which we need more of. We desperately need more of. Yeah. I tell you who else they should team up with. I we need more of. We desperately need more of. Yeah. I tell you who else they should team up with. I'm paying them more.

And also just giving them better conditions. The government should team up with the government to pay nurses more. Yes. It's a wild idea. It's crazy. It's a crazy proposition. The government has said

that it's going to be running some integrated storylines. Okay. This sounds like, god, this sounds like the sort of sales pitch bullshit we have to deal with at work, doesn't it? Yeah, integration, integration. We're going to run some integrations, some seamless client

nonsense. See, the idea is that people watching Shortland Street will be encouraged to take up nursing as a profession. Yeah. Okay. I mean, Shortland Street's been doing its part for years, like attractive doctors and such. I was...

Hot nurses. Yeah. Yeah. I was talking to James Rocke, and he's talked about, he does stand up on it, how Shortland Street just got its first Filipino nurse. James Rocke being Filipino New Zealand. Yeah.

And the majority of nurses in New Zealand also first Filipino nurse. James Rocke being Filipino New Zealand. Yeah. And the majority of nurses in New Zealand also being Filipino descent. It was like they got one Filipino nurse however many years in. And that's the other problem. Shoreland Street has been very far from reality for a long time. You've never been in the middle of a volcano

in the middle of town? I don't think doctors and the nurses are hooking up that much, are they? Oh my God, yes they are. Really? Yes they are. They've got those little spare wards where they just go and have a little nap.

I don't think there's such a thing as spare wards anymore. I think they're all real cool. I think they're real. Remember the Dave's? Yeah. You remember pre-COVID spare wards? Oh my God, now they're literally keeping people in broom cupboards.

Yeah. It's a... Beep. Beep. pre-COVID spare wards. Oh my God. Now they're literally keeping people in broom cupboards. Yeah. Excuse me, Beryl. I'm just going to reach over and get the mop and bucket. We've had a bit of a sick down the hallway. It's okay. Beep.

Oh, shit. I'll just lock that door while you guys come back to deal with this after I've cleaned up that sick. That's a tomorrow's problem. Poor Beryl. Yeah.

Yep. So they're putting that into the storylines, an encouragement of... They're going to work through various ways to get people, yeah, to encourage people to get into nursing. I just genuinely think the only way you're going to encourage people into nursing, other than their want and desire to help to heal people, money. And conditions.

And again, hot doctors. Very hot doctors. I think at Otago, less concentrate on the Grady Grady's, more concentration on the Hottie Hotties. You don't want your doctor to miss a tumour or a cancer. I would rather him skip tumour class and get himself to the gym.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hot. Don't worry about knowing how to read the bloods. Bloods, bloods. Squats, baby. Bloods, bloods. As long as it's read.

Let's get some bench presses. Let's get a brow trim. Yeah, yeah, but let's not skip cardio. Yeah, no, definitely not. You can skip cardiovascular studies. But not the treadmill. Get your ass on the bike. Do a leap.

I'm trying to more. We're hurting. Do a feature. For Christ's sake. It's lost frequencies. On ZM, Fleach, Vaughan and Hayley as we battle bad Wi-Fi. We've got terrible Wi-Fi. Give them some good news.

Give them some good news. Then give them some bad news. Good, good, good, bad, good. It's our segment, Good, Good, Bad, Good, where we give you some good news. Some good news, some bad news, bad news. Just hide the bad news in there and then some more good news? Some good news, some bad news. Bad news. Just hide the bad news in there and then some more good news because there's so much bad news around.

You'd like to start, Hayley, with some good news? I would. This was a heartwarming good news story. There were conjoined twins that were joined by the brain. Their brains were fused and obviously their heads was where they were conjoined.

Wasn't there a hilarious movie starring Greg Kinnear and Matt Damon? Yes. Where were they joined? Hitch. Oh, okay. Joined at the HIP. What was that movie called? At the HIP.

At the HIP. What was that movie called? I just started a new Greg Kinnear show. Oh, yeah, you were telling me at the airport. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. It's really good. Raving about that one, isn't it?

Yeah, it's on Apple TV. It's called Black Bird. Okay. Stuck on you. Stuck on you. There we go. Problematic, eh? What?

Them two men playing conjoined twins. That weren't conjoined twins. Was she in it? Was she there? Why? Is it problematic because you should be conjoined to play that role? Absolutely. I don't.

These conjoined twins are there begging for a role. We're at Toy Fakari right now. Anyway, these gorgeous little boys, they were conjoined by the head and the reason that it was like they had to try to unfuse them is because the way they were conjoined, one was always upside

down so they were never going to be mobile. Well, the good news is a British surgeon has successfully separated them, including their brains. Wow. Like, it was such a dangerous surgery, but it was kind of their only choice. The two boys are now

separate, and there's a photo of them separated, and they're holding hands. Okay, that's pretty heartwarming. That's pretty heartwarming. They're still joint in the heart and the soul, but they can now live these individual lives. Like when you get a packet of lollies and two of them are like melded together and you're just like... What do I do?

What do I do here? Eat them both? I just eat both of them at once. No, I split them. Do you? You do a surgery. I do a surgery. I do a surgery to break the fuse.

Anyway, beautiful news. Some more good news is that we've been hearing about interest rates going up and everything. Yeah. ANZ yesterday reduced its one-year fixed home loan rate to 5.59%. Oh, it's coming down. It's good news. It's good news. It's going down.

Good news if you've got a mortgage. Well, that's the thing. I'm not going to ANZ. No, ring your bank and tell them you're going to ANZ unless you see some change. Yeah, but I did that to ANZ, and then I moved to someone else. But then you can go back. Do you flip-flop? Yeah, just flip-flop.

Yeah, just lie. All right. And then everybody else has to drop their pants. Yes. And then they're in a bidding war to get you back. Good stuff. Also, for the first time in a decade, the house prices have fallen. The house prices are down.

Interest rates are down. Get out there and buy it. Snap up some homes. You couldn't buy a house last week. You can buy five now. You can buy five now. Great. Okay.

Some bad news. I've got some bad news, guys. You're the bearer. FedEx have lost a package. Now, were they the ones that Tom Hanks crashed it or was that? Yeah, that was FedEx. That was FedEx have lost a package. Now, were they the ones that Tom Hanks crashed at or was that? Yeah, that was FedEx. That was FedEx. So they don't have a good track record. What, since Castaway?

Between Castaway and today, I think they've been doing alright. They've had a terrible track record with losing packages. FedEx have lost a box. I've used FedEx many times. I will say they've been very great Have you?

None of my packages None of my packages have ended up on a tropical island with Tom Hanks Saving his life But they have lost a package that contains

a suspected murder victim's body What? They've lost a body? Who's FedExing a dead body? So the remains of a suspected murder victim are still missing. They were the remains of someone that died in Atlanta, Georgia in 2019. His remains were sent to the medical examiner and then to a facility in another part of the country for testing.

But somehow the shipment has just gone missing. And so now this whole murder case is kind of like... Because there's no body. In the trash can because there's no evidence because it's gone missing. Sounds like a great way to get away with murder. Get them to courier any evidence and then you become the courier driver.

Yeah. And you chuck it away. Wow. Let's end with some good news. Okay, this is great news. Earlier, Vaughan, you shared with us that the earth is spinning too fast and that's really bad. Yeah. And you chuck it away. Wow. Let's end with some good news. Okay, this is great news. Earlier, Vaughan, you shared with us that the earth is spinning too fast, and that's really bad. Yeah.

And it's environmentally, because of our environmental impact. Well, quarter million, a quarter million, quarter million pounds? Quarter of a million pounds. A quarter of a million pounds of plastic has been cleared from the Great Pacific garbage patch. How? This is done by the Dutch. The Dutch have done it.

They've created like a big kind of... Scooping machine? Scooper. Scooping net machine. It's been deployed since August 2021. They've just pulled it in and that's how much plastic they've taken out of the sea. That's 113 tonnes. Okay. My question is, this is 2021. They've just pulled it in and that's how much plastic they've taken out of the sea. That's 113 tonnes. Okay.

My question is, this is great, I'm glad it's not in the ocean. The turtles' noses will be less poked. Constructed. Can I start throwing my... But where are they putting it? They're burning it. I think they recycle it, don't they? Does this mean I can start throwing my Coke Zero bottles back into the ocean? Back to the ocean because there's space

now. Oh, no? No. Is it a no? I think it's a no. And, you know, I'm just looking at, after you said quarter of a million pounds, I was like, that's a lot. And then 113 tons, we're probably easily putting that back into the ocean every day. Oh, easily.

Yeah, but step by step. God, we're ratbags. Why are you taking my good news and turning it into more bad news? We're ratbags. It's because of the human condition. I chuck plastic in the ocean and I find the bad in everything. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Broadcasting the show today live from Christchurch, our Christchurch studios. A wonderful night last night at Fat Eddie's, Banger's Bingo. So much fun. Thanks to Smirnoff Soda. We've got another one coming up in Dunedin next week. Do you think we should form a band? You know, like in the halftime, producer Jared's there. We could jam this out, perform a band, do a halftime show.

Because you got on the piano last night, didn't you? Yeah. And Vaughn just couldn't help but get on the mic. Yeah. But it's something we want to talk about. It was when we got back to the accommodation last night, staying at the lovely Crown Plaza. It's so nice.

It's very nice. And we've got an executive room, like a business executive. Yeah. Very, very posh. And got onto bed last night. And, oh, my God, the beds were so comfortable. The bed's so good. But it was the pillows that we want to talk about. Because Vaughn and I jumped in the beds were so comfortable but it was so good it's the pillows that we want to talk

about because vaughn and i jumped on the car this morning and i said did you have like the pillows and vaughn's like yeah oh my god i want one of these pillows so the pillows were long body pillows that women usually get when they're pregnant yes but you spoon them and you oh my god they're amazing very bad habit i've got a sore lower back because when I sleep, I roll half of my body. You're a twister. I'm a twister. You're a twisty. And I just spend a long amount of time each night in this twisted position.

And then when I get up, I'm like, oh, and I've got a sore lower back. Yeah. Now, I bought this little thing at the supermarket that you wedge between your knees. Yeah, I love those. Yeah, but that always goes loose. But this last night, I grabbed this long pillow and I like spooned Yeah, I love those. Yeah, but that always goes loose. But this last night, I grabbed this long pillow and I like spooned it,

leg each side. Like a pregnant woman. Yeah. And I tell you what, this morning's the first time in ages I've woken up without a really sore back. I don't have a sore back.

I just love spooning this body pillow. It was amazing. It was so good. It's because you're a single man. You're lonely in bed most of the time. Would Sade not appreciate a spooning pillow in the bed?

No, they're so ugly. This is the thing. Well, this one wasn't the ugliest one I've ever seen. It was in a white linen pillowcase. It just looked like a long pillow. You'd put it under your two pillows when you were making the bed, and I don't think you'd notice. Well, I had four of them.

Four super long pillows. Because Hayley didn't even have one. I didn't even get one. I got four normal, comfortable pillows. Well, you were four of them. Four super long pillows. Because Hayley didn't even have one. I didn't even get one. I got four normal, comfortable pillows. Well, you were in the normal room. Vaughn and I are executives. Executives need body pillows. No, I was in an executive suite.

I just didn't have the... Well, you should have come down. I had four of them. Well, you didn't invite me into your bed. You know? I would have. You know me, I love to touch. But I didn't get a body pillow.

I am like, well, Fletch is searching for them now. We're going to buy a decent body pillow. Oh, they're so ugly. They're going to stuff up your bed because you're going to get it. So you think that you're going to put the body pillow at the back and two pillows at the front, right, to make your bed not look ugly. And then I've got two more on the top to hide the body pillow. Because then you go, you're going to turn the body pillow

and then Sade's left with one pillow. That's not odd. But she always sleeps a body pillow. You're going to turn the body pillow and then Sade's left with one pillow. That's not on. But she always sleeps with one pillow. I think you could always put it in the wardrobe if you wanted to. You didn't want to ruin the aesthetic of your bed. Why are we hiding this pillow? I'm not ashamed of that.

I see. I've found something that's going to stop me getting a sore back. Right, because I've found one online. Body pillow and case that I think is going to be perfect. Oh, my God. Kmart had them as well. Kmart had the Anko ones.

This is a real... Like 24. Why did Carmen just look at me? Did you say... She can't hear us. There's nothing wrong with an Anko. She can't hear us. Let's talk about it.

It's so embarrassing. It's such an old person thing. No. It's like next you'll be getting a triangle pillow. I think Shana had a triangle pillow when she was pregnant and then used it as the breastfeeding pillow. Yes, yeah, they're good for that, but not, you know, for anything else. Real 80s, early 90s move, the triangle pillow.

Yeah, with like a frilly case around it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Nan would prop herself up in bed with one sort of situation. But this is different. This is a long, straight pillow. Hayley's been teasing us all morning in studio while the songs have been playing. And we thought we'd ask the question this morning. Is there something that you own or you've purchased that you get teased about?

And maybe it's an old, a quote, an old person's thing. Yeah. Like a body pillow. Or maybe you're old and it, an old person's thing. Yeah. Like a body pillow. Or maybe you're old and it's a young person's thing. Sure. Like a backwards cap. Is there anything I could think of? You bought a backwards cap.

You love it. You love it. People are like, how embarrassing. Yeah. You bought it specifically because it looks good only backwards. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe you've got a friend.

Maybe you just want to rag out your friend that's purchased something. So embarrassing. You shouldn't be ashamed of things that you've purchased that you like. No. I don't think so.

Yeah, and you should stop caring about other people's opinions on things. If it makes you happy, unless it's Nazi memorabilia, then yeah, you've got a problem.

If it makes you happy, it's probably not good. If it's a Make America Great Again hat or any sort of trough stuff, then yeah, probably take a look at yourself. But you could rock the MAGA hat backwards. No.

Make it a bit cooler. No. Because then just the people walking behind you know that you're a douchebag. Okay. So 0800-DARLS-AT-M 9696. Maybe it's a body pillow. Maybe it's a secret shame, something you've purchased. What do people make fun of you for buying?

Well, I've been making fun of you for buying? Well, I've been making fun of the boys who are now actively looking on multiple websites to buy themselves a body pillow. And I'm not sure it's comfortable, but it's just they're so sort of tacky and functional. They don't need to be. They can be fun and exciting. Right. We want to know what people tease you for buying. When you get to my age,

nothing's more exciting than waking up without a sore back. Yeah, true. The thrill of your day. Yeah, it's all I ever hoped for. It's all that hard manual labour you do on radio, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, my God. Sitting with a hunched back.

Yeah. It really is. That's a root of the problems. So we want to know the things that you've purchased that your friends tease you about. Maybe they are the things for the older person. I tell you what, we're hearing from a lot of people with body pillows.

I own a cuddle buddy pillow. Yeah, okay. I'll write it down. Cuddle buddy pillow. I can't sleep without it, and my husband used to mock me, and then I bought him one, and now we both love our cuddle buddies.

Wow. There you go. But you've got each other. Yeah both love our cuddle buddies. Wow. There you go. But you've got each other. Yeah. Yeah. Our cuddle buddies. Excuse me. It's like a long bean bag.

Oh, okay. Can you text them back and ask when the last time they made love was? They made love. Let's go to Caitlin. I would make my buddy buddy make love to my husband's buddy buddy. I'd like push them together. You're still not making love to your actual wife. Caitlin, what is the thing

that your friends tease you about buying? Owning? Caitlin. Do we have Caitlin? Caitlin. No, should we go to Lena? Lena? Lena. Hello. Hello. What is it that your friends tease you for buying?

Well I do cross stitching Which is already a little bit old person But then I bought this tray That goes across your lap And it's got little holders for all your Bits and pieces as well as a great Service Wow

Hot That's hot content right there. I want to see a photo of this sexy setup. Yeah, cool. I'm sure that can be arranged. Yeah. Are you someone who has like a full crafting room? She doesn't need a whole room.

She's got her lap. That would be my goal. But for now, I just have a little corner of the lounge. You know what? It's fast. It's functional. Good for you. Yeah. And if you're having fun, who cares what everybody else thinks? Exactly. Lena, thanks. Let's try Caitlin

again. I believe Caitlin may still be on hold. Caitlin, good morning. Hello. Hello, Caitlin. No, you're right. What is it that your friends tease you about owning? So I buy my jeans from Caroline Eve and I get to tell this old woman. Caroline Eve!

Caroline Eve! What is their target demo? Oh, look, I would say maybe not my age range, but hey, look, when you like

what you like, you've got to buy it. Who cares where it comes from? What kind of jean? Is it a skinny jean? A wide leg? It's a mum jean. It's kind of, no, no, it's more like a, you know, a regular fit, you know.

But I'm quite tall, so it's hard to find good things and stuff. So I've got it all, so I'm going to keep going back. Do you ever dip a toe in a Miller's? No, I haven't ventured out that far. Posty Plus? Yeah, Posty Plus. Posty Plus cataloguing, do you do that? Yeah, well, you know, once I know the market, I just browse over every now and then. Posty Plus Posty Plus Cataloguing Do you do that? Yeah

Well you know Once I know the market I just browse over Every now and then Right She sounds like She used to love Chanton Yeah

But do your friends You wouldn't see the label Would they? The Caroline Eve Or do they Yeah right Just tell them It's another brand

And if they were asking Will you get the Jean Strong Because they look good Then you know Egg on their face When it's Caroline. Eve! Caitlin, thanks for your call. Jen, Jen's called.

Jen, what is it that your friends tease you about owning? Morning. Well, it's not just my friends. It's pretty much everyone. Okay. So I take all my things to work each day in like a plastic picnic basket. Oh, that's pretty cute. Like a hamper. No, like it's a steamer plastic basket, you know.

And it started in lockdown, so it was really handy to move things from the kitchen table and get it off the table and just load it all into a basket. And I've just continued it. Right. So everywhere you go, you've got your shopping basket full of all your goodies. Why don't you just use a bag like a normal person? No, because this is way more efficient because you can of stuff on top.

I also work in fundraising at a hospice. Okay. You know, you'd think that I'd be all right with a basket at a hospice, but no, everyone there still makes fun of me. Yeah, it does sound silly. That dying. That dying and that taking time to make fun of you. I mean, that precious seconds left on the earth, and they're like, to make fun of you. I mean, precious seconds left on the

earth and they're like, I know how I'm going to spend some time ripping into this basket. Amazing. Jen, I love the basket idea.

Thank you. Some messages in. Are my cat carry backpacks? I get a lot of slack for these. The cats go inside and then they can

peek out the window. I get tagged in so many of these. You should get one for Murray. Yeah. I get hassled about my ceramic butter dish, but I've got room temperature spreadable butter on everything, so joke's on you.

Ooh, butter in the fridge. You know how I feel on this. I get teased for my super long hot water bottle. I'm 27, but it's comfy and warms far more than a normal small hot water bottle. It's the best to snuggle up with, so I won't hear it. Okay. My tongue scraper won't hear it. Okay. My tongue scraper. People think it's weird.

I get teased about it, but it's so good for getting rid of gross morning breath because it cleans the tongue. Yeah. My partner's just turned 50. He drinks whiskey with milk so he doesn't get reflux. We all give him so much shit. 70-year-olds do. Does she mean like a whiskey and then a milk? No, I think he puts by the sounds of a whiskey in his milk, right? A whiskey smoothie.

That's rough. Jesus. Somebody said, I got a massage chair, an electric heated blanket and an uddy. Comfy. You're a comfy. It's all efficiency, isn't it? Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day is that in 2013, a British surgeon was struck off the medical register after he used basically a machine that can cauterise wounds. It's used in surgeries, Argon beam machine, to seal it up, burn it shut. Yeah, yeah, like if you take a little biopsy or something and then it'll just kind of seal it. I've had one, yeah. Quarterise it.

Yeah, yeah, they quarterise it off. He used that machine to write his initials on, for what they know, two liver transplants, people's new liver. On the actual organ? He wrote it on the organ. He tagged someone's liver. He tagged somebody's liver as he put it in.

How did they know that he did this? Because one of the livers failed and another surgeon removed that liver. Oh. And they were like, this is weird. There's writing on this liver. There's writing on it. There's initials. Was it Bloom?

Infamous tagger group. Infamous Auckland tagging group, Bloom. No, Simon Bramhall, although it does sound a little bit like Bloom. It starts with B, but yeah, he wrote SB on these livers. Does that damage the liver? Well, it's only the outside, but it was like, it's considered assault because you're burning somebody unnecessarily. It wasn't part of the cauterising or wasn't what the tool is usually used for.

Oh, my goodness. And they were four centimetres high. So is it like a soldering iron kind of? Like a little heat? Right. Did you say it was four centimetres? The letters were four centimetres? The letters were four centimetres tall.

That's big. I'd imagine a liver's a good couple of handfuls. Oh, yeah, I don't know. I've never held a... I think mine's probably about three handfuls. It's a. Yeah. How big is it? I'd imagine a liver's a good couple of handfuls. Oh, yeah, I don't know. I've never held her. I think mine's probably about three handfuls. It's a little bit small. It's engorged. It's engorged, yeah.

Wow, that is crazy because you're right. It is a salt because if someone was to come up to you and on your arm brand you... That's a salt, yeah. ...without consent, that's a salt. The liver is one of the largest and most important organs in the body. It's the size of a football. What? A rugby ball of a football. What? A rugby ball or a football?

A football, soccer. That's from the CDC, so that's American, so they might be probably talking about American football. You're saying I've got a soccer ball inside me. No, no, no. Not like a small rugby ball. A small rugby ball. Oh, a small rugby ball.

That is, oh, that's big. That's just hanging out in me. Like those little rugby balls you win from the claw machines? A little bit bigger. A little bit bigger. A little bit bigger. A little bit bigger. Wow, okay. And it sits in there doing its thing.

But yeah, he scorched his... So they found another person. The liver succeeded. Yeah. It made its new home. But yeah, upon investigation of some of his previous clients, they also found that he'd done it to at least one other person. Struck off the list and convicted of assault.

Ah. Was here. Yeah, convicted of assault. Was here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was here, yeah. He was here. Well, maybe he was concrete, you know? Unless, you know, lovers sometimes carve their initials into trees. Yes. So it lasts forever?

Yeah. Totally. So today's fact of the day is Simon Brammell, a surgeon in Britain, was struck off the medical register and convicted of assault when he burnt his initials into at least two liver patients' livers. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- like there's a lot more kind of sharing of baby duties and the likes in the households.

The world's changed, hasn't it? Yeah, the idea of a stay-at-home dad is pretty normalised at this point, I reckon. Yeah. Still a way to go. I think we even talked about a study recently that was saying that like women are still doing the majority in the household when it comes to rearing children.

Not in my household. No. I do 100% male. 100% male. All of it. You do 100% male. 100% male? All of it. You do 100% male? All the time. I know.

I said 100% male doing the work. That's the workload. Workload. Workload. All men, all the time. Yeah, there's 100% male workload. Yeah. Let's say that.

Your workload is 100% male. Gotcha. You're a feminist. Yeah. That's basically what I'm trying to say% male. Or feminist. Yeah, that's basically what I'm trying to say here, is a feminist. Well, so just reading this article, I was like, there's actually some really interesting stats in here. For example,

back in 1982, there was a... That was when I was born. That's when you were born. A massive survey was done asking fathers of children a number of questions. And it found that 43% of fathers in 1982 admitted that they had never changed a diaper. Never changed a diaper,

even though they were fathers of babies. Your dad would have? I'm sure he did. You should message. I don't know for certain. You should message him. Whereas just a couple of years ago, they did the same survey

and then it came up that it was 3% 3% of fathers had never changed a diaper How much was it in 1982? 43% Close to half Never changed a diaper So that would have been the old school thinking The mum raises the babies

The man earns the money I'm out working all day so you're on nappies So today's dads are more an egalitarian sort of egalitarian belief about childcare. Don't get me wrong. I think everybody, and mothers included, have smelt a dirty one and just kind of been like, go and see what dad's doing. Oh, absolutely. What's mum up to?

Or just chuck it nappy and all in a bath and just let that happen. I don't know. I don't have children. Let it soak overnight. Yeah, likeppy and all, in a bath and just let that happen. I don't know. I don't have children. Let it soak for a bit. Yeah, like a stinky pot, you know, you let it soak overnight. Yeah.

Yeah, put it in the sink with some dishwashing liquid and be like, that's just soaking. Yeah. One study from a few years ago found modern dads are devoting 30 more minutes a day

to household chores than their fathers did. 30 minutes. Wow. Well, clap, clap. My dad is always pretty good with the chores. their fathers did. 30 minutes. Wow, well, clap clap. My dad is always pretty good with the chores. Yeah, totally. I mean, this is an overarching statement here.

And the big thing is that millennial dads like yourself, Vaughan, are spending three times as much time with their children. I get to spend way more time with my kids than I think a lot of dads my age do because I don't work a conventional work day. Yes. Yeah. Like, I get to spend way more time with my kids than I think a lot of dads my age do because I don't work a conventional work day.

Yes. Yeah. Like, I get to pick them up from school and then hang out with them all afternoon. And that's just not even dads. There's so many kids in, like, after school care who don't get to see mum or dad. Well, it's hard. Both parents have got to be working. Totally. Totally. They've got to be working to make their financial ends meet. But then, like, I also

grew up on a farm, so we'd be down the farm with dad heaps. Yeah, yeah. So, again, maybe, hey, I'm lucky at both ends of it, guys, and I'm realising my privilege. Just now? As both a father and having a father. Just now. It's a new privilege that I'm realising.

Father privilege. Yeah, add that to the long list of Vaughan Smith's privileges. Nice. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, if you're currently at university and you're studying a language, I've got terrible news for you. You've blown your money. It's been a waste of time.

Cue the break! That's probably not what somebody studying a language wants to hear. No, I know, but they did a recent study that showed that Duolingo, the very easy, kind of like once a day app. No, that's Dua Lipa. Right.

Duolingo is the app where you can learn, I think it's about 20 languages they've got on there now. And it's like a once a day, they send you challenges, you complete the day, da-da-da-da. And as you go on, you get better and better at doing the language. And I did this recently. I did French. So by the end of what, after a few months, are you just quite... I mean, you wouldn't be fluent. Not fluent,

but you know enough words that when you go to France, you'll be able to order a baguette. Absolutely. Je vous donne baguette, s'il vous plaît. Oh, please. I learned that in high school, not on the app.

Yeah. But yeah, it's a really fun app, but they've shown that Duolingo outcomes are just as, are exactly the same, comparable to people studying a language at a university. Wow. But in such a significantly shorter amount of time.

And a way cheaper time, because I'm imagining, is Duolingo free? Duolingo? Yeah. Yeah, it is free. I think maybe as you get more advanced, you might have to pay for things, but I'm not sure I didn't get that if I got bored.

That sounds like if I was to download this. I said au revoir to that app, you know? But it taught you to say it, au revoir. No, high school taught me... Au revoir? Au revoir. It taught me to say it, but I was freshening up.

Yeah, right, okay. Right, right. Yeah. So, yeah, they said that you can learn four semesters worth of language proficiency in half the time. Less than half the time. Oh, wow. By just doing the once a day app thing.

I don't even think you need to do that. You just go to the country and do an impression, don't you? Yeah, yeah. It's a me, a Mario. Where is the spaghetti? Wait, wait, wait. It's a me, a Mario. Where is the spaghetti? Wait, wait, wait. Oh, Jean-Claude. Yeah.

Fraction. Why don't you tell me where to get the baguette? I mean, French people know and for their tolerance of someone learning their language and trying. Yeah. I can't imagine they'll be upset with that at all. Anyway, if you want to learn a language, you do not have to spend tens of thousands of dollars on it. Don't worry about it. Just get the app.

Download Duolingo. Du app. Download Duolingo. Duolingo. Do you want me to show you the voices I did when I went to other countries? When I went to China? No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think we need that. I don't think we need that. I don't think we need that.

I thought the show was pretty good, but the Fact of the Day jingle, guys, a bit pitchy. Tomorrow, eh? Oh, my God. Would you just leave it with your private high school and music training? You were the pitchiest. Give us a sexy little review though.