ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 3rd February 2022

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. Available now at Macca's. I'm feeling really stressed out because I've just got a lovely gift sent to me by Candy HQ. Nana's Lolly Jar. Because I've been talking about how much I love fizzy Coke bottles.

And they've sent me like a whopping bag of coke bottles of gummy coke bottles but we're shredding for the photo shoot next week. Oh yeah. Oh.

Oh far out. These are like heroin to me. Yeah they're your number one lolly aren't they? Yeah I can't have it now though because they will make me a little bit like

I get like a sort of a situation going in my ears. Like a reflux't they? Yeah, I can't have it now, though, because they will make me a little bit like... I get like a... Sort of a situation going in my ears. Like a reflux or something. Yeah, and I'm on my way, of course, to an audition. Yeah, well, now, what's this an audition for? I know you can't say... I can't say what it is, but it's an American pilot. That they're filming in New Zealand?

Yeah. Oh, okay. You're playing an American pilot. No, no, no, no, no. Flaps down. I'm a pilot playing an American pilot. No, no, no, no. Flaps down. A pilot for an American TV show that's here. And I haven't used an American accent since drama school. Oh, you have to do an American accent?

Yeah. I like when they have a Kiwi on American shows. I always need someone to drop in, like a Paris. I know, but then they don't want that. There's that accent. I listen to that. Like a California. Woman that does accents that we were watching a video the other day. That neutral

American accent. General American was so hard at school because you'd be like, I like to drive my car. And then you're like, then you get into a scene, you're like, I like to drive my car. I'll just be out here driving my car. Well, mercy.

This car sure does go fast. Yeah, see, it's a car they want. It's a car they'll drive. But they haven't given me a region, so I could just, I could go in like I'm from Jewish New York. Yeah. And they're like, oh, this is like set in Miami. Okay, Miami, I can adjust, I can adjust. Yo, Miami.

Sure does get hot down here i'm just popping over the road to the beach i live in new york and now i'm retired down here to miami um fletch do you think that you could read a scene with me how's your american accent i don would like to drive a car it wasn't too bad this is terrible because now i'm confident i'm gonna have that in my head in this audition and i'll be going i would like to drive a car. Are you going to do that thing with your mouth too? Because you know you're on TV. Yeah. The worst part is this has happened to comedian and friend Chris Parker.

I'm sure he won't mind me sharing. You do your, what are they called? Like profiles or whatever. And you say like, hi, my name is Hayley. I'm with Auckland Actors. And you do a little like, this is my body. Yeah. Oh my God. I wouldn't want to do that. And you go like this and you say like, hi, my name is Hayley, I'm with Auckland Actors, and you do a little like, this is my body. Oh my God, I wouldn't want to do that.

And you go like this, and you go. Are you allowed to say like, it's been a long lockdown? It's been a long lockdown. Not a proper bra. I'm Hayley, Auckland Actors, long lockdown, not a proper bra. I'm not wearing a bra. Not pregnant, not planning to be in the near future. Slightly irritated in the bowel.

IBS, undiagnosed. But no, and and he like sometimes They want you to do it in an American accent Or the accent of the audition But I don't often practice saying like Hayley Sproul How do you even say my name in an American accent Hello my name is Hayley Sproul

And I'm with Auckland Actors Let's get on with the audition Son in Miami Hey Forgot about it But so what happened To Chris Parker Wait

Oh Chris did it And he said Hello my name is Chris Parker With Johnson And he just Just like Had it

Practiced it Oh no I'm auditioning For the part Of the Swedish chef Maybe I want to do Like a No Who's the one?

Oh, Fargo. Oh, yeah, I like that. Yeah, that's good. Try to put the plan on the paper. Do you not have any paper? Does it say anywhere where this is set? Oh, you're fucked. No, so they'll be looking for general, but as I mentioned, my general.

Can you just start screaming at them? It's got to be set somewhere. Yeah. You're fucked No so they'll be looking For general But as I mentioned My general My general's no good Can you just start Screaming at them It's gotta be set somewhere Yeah Give me a region And I'll find her Yeah

And they're like No Hayley you're confused I wanted you to play An American pilot No but she's a Kiwi Damn it Thanks Rachel Good morning

Welcome to the show Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Three minutes past. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Warren and Hayley. Three minutes past six. Welcome to the show. Welcome. I've already slopped my breakfast down my shirt. So that's two stains in two days. Two stains, two days.

White t-shirt today. Do we need to buy you a bib? An adult bib? Yeah, I think so. Okay. It is gung-ho. We were just talking about gung-ho. Like, Fletch was questioning the storm, and I said I thought it was all gung-ho. Like, everybody was all go down to the west coast of the South Island prepping for this.

Yeah, for the rain. Insane amount of rain. And then I said gung-ho, and you said, is that right? And I said, hey. Gung-ho. It's not. It's gung-ho. Oh, gung.

But most people probably say gung-ho just because it's lost its. No, I've always said gung-ho. Gung-ho. It's not. It's gung-ho. Oh, gung. But most people probably say gun-ho just because it's lost its... No, I've always said gung-ho. Gung-ho. I've always thought it was gun-ho because, like, cowboys and stuff, and you'd be like... They probably got it, but they may have got it from the Chinese immigrants. Oh, okay.

Because gung-ho means to work together. Hmm. Oh. Yeah. Like a team. Yeah. The Chinese Industrial Cooperative. Gong-ye, and then a long word that starts with H that I'm guessing,

much like my white predecessors, I can't say, so I'm going to shorten it to something I can say. And then just, you know, ignore its origins completely. Yeah, right. White people. We're the best. Kang Ho. Right.

Okay, well, that's good to know. Stay safe if you're on the west coast of the South Island. Yeah. Some wild weather. Coming up. It has just been Chinese New Year. Yeah. And my father-in-law of Chinese descent.

Yeah. He didn't give me a little red envelope. That's some bullshit, hey? He meant to get one. Yeah, with money inside. Yeah. Are you? Hong Bao, I think they're called. The little red envelope. That's some bullshit, hey? Are you meant to get one? Yeah, with money inside it. Yeah. Are you? Hongbao, I think they're called.

The little red envelopes. It's the envelope itself that's lucky, but it's always got money inside it. Well, he's a renowned tight ass. I can't imagine you getting him. He's not even a tweeny. No, nothing. Not a bloody.

Is he meant to give everyone in the family something? I don't know if it's then just meant to be the youngest. Like, my daughter should get the red envelopes. Right. But I feel like there should have been some red envelopes. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you got nothing. I'm so sorry.

I've got a fiver in my wallet. Happy to wrap it up for you. Thank you. All right. We'll put that together. The top six is coming up on the show. Yeah, guys. Bad news for Vikings.

Yeah. The Viking festival's been cancelled. I'm going to add that to the list of the cancellations. I know the West Coast is already going through this horrible weather, but the wild foods, that officially was cancelled yesterday. For the first time. Ever. Ever.

Yeah. It's kind of always popped up in the gaps where we've, you know, had minimal or zero COVID in the community so that it could happen. But unfortunately this year, no. Such a great time too. We've been a few times. Oh, the food. Fun. Hoo-hoo, grub straight from the stump. Yeah, I was just going to say, but unfortunately this year, no. Such a great time too. We've been a few times. Oh, the food. Fun.

Hoo-hoo grubs straight from the stump. Yeah, I was just going to say, I've never been and I've seen you guys eating the bugs and stuff. Mmm. Not for me. Great, so very sad to hear that.

So the Viking Festival's being cancelled too, but worry not, Vikings. I've got the top six other things that you can get up to. Also coming up, the region that's been named the most welcoming

in New Zealand. It's been a study done. I'll tell you what that is soon. Up next, Kiwi has come up with a new invention. And we have been questioning its purpose. I didn't even, I don't, I'll be honest with you, I've never heard of these things. We never knew they existed. I thought they were a bit of a joke.

Are you ready to watch me stumble through another sexy article with absolutely no radio skills and no idea of what I can and can't say? I'll go out there. I don't think this is sexy. What? It's sexual. Sex-based. Sex-based.

This is sex-based radio. I'm about to make some sex-based love to you. So there's a student at Christchurch University who is doing a degree in product design. Okay. She won a scholarship to partake in the Canterbury Centre for Entrepreneurship Summer Startup Program where they create prototypes

and like new things. Okay. So what she noticed was in the that a lot of STI protective devices, your condoms and whatnot are aimed towards heterosexual relationships.

Basically condoms. Okay. And she was like, what about your other forms of sexy stuff? So she, I don't know, and this is the news to you. She obviously saw a gap in the market. She's in the entrepreneurial program. I shan't question her market research. So the thing that she wanted to remake

and make it both sexy and appropriate for same-sex relationships is the dental dam. And as we started talking about this this morning, Vaughn, you didn't even know that dental dams were a thing. What did they teach you in sex ed? Because I remember they talked about them in sex ed. Yeah, I vaguely remember. I've never seen one in my

life. No, never seen one in my life, ever. I remember there being zero information in sex ed on anything other than straight up heterosexual sex. Yeah. And there was protected and there was unprotected. That's it. Unprotected. Yeah.

It's all going to fall off. And you'll have a baby. Yeah. You don't want a baby. That's what they'd say. So the dental dam is a small sheet. It's like a latex sheet, isn't it? A little latex sheet that you would lay upon the... How thick a latex? We're talking a couple of mil?

Like a little thinny, a little thinny sheet. Like a super thin sheet. Like a piece of shaved ham. Well, you know those like at the gym... Don't need that imagery. At the gym, those elastic bands that you use for stretching and yoga. No, those are so thick. Those are like a drive belt.

Thinner than that. But anyway, dental dams are like, we all agree, the most unsexy thing. I didn't even know. I didn't even know. I didn't even know. So you lay it down over. How does it stay on? Do you have to hold it in place or has it got an adhesive strip?

You tape it. No, you don't tape them to the pubis. Yeah, just a bit of duct tape. Bit of double-sided. Yeah. Slap that on. No, you just sort of lay it on top if you're going to perform oral sex on a woman, usually, is where they angle towards.

But so this student wanted to sort of reinvent this, and she has by making The Dam, which is what she has created here. The Dam. Right. Because it's a damn good idea to use it. I'd be too embarrassed to go in the newspaper. Like, she's in the newspaper, like, hey, I've invented this. Yeah, I know. Good on her. Good on her. But she's trying to make... I couldn't do it. I'd be too embarrassed to go in the newspaper. Like, she's in the newspaper like, hey, I've invented this. Yeah, I know. Good on her. But she's trying to make, where do you buy a dental dam?

At the dentist? I would have no idea. But the difference with these is that, like, normal dental dams are angled towards oral sex on a woman. Right. These are also good if you wanted to perform a little bit of round-the-back action for a man.

Oh, right. Okay. So you wanted to lay the table and have a little time. But these are the— Legit. What? What? Hold on a moment.

If you wanted to— Why would you want to? Either be on either end of that. Why would you want to be on either end of that? Come on, it's that 2022 this is what i'm worried about this is what i'm worried about this generation yeah they won't eat takeaways but they will eat but they will just do that yeah right well maybe they want to use these the thing with these it makes it they won't eat gluten particularly different is that these are wearable

so you like slip them on like an undie I believe. Oh, okay. So that you don't have too much fluffing around and then you can either go... So you can wear them before you go out. I don't know if you want to be wearing them that long. Your latex undies. I've googled where to buy dental dams and I put

NZ because I want to know. You can get this a... Did that say 12 pack? 12 pack for $112. Which he's obviously found a gap in the market. Yeah, well, because no one uses them or buys them. So the dental dam companies have to claw their money back somehow. Is that a thing?

Far out. That looks like a torture device. You know that fun game where you put that thing in your mouth and then you've got to say a word and everybody's got to guess what word you're saying. I think that's for something else, Vaughn. I think that's for dentistry. What Vaughn is showing us is less of a dental dam

and more of a sort of mouth apparatus. For the dentist to get into your mouth. A dental dam is honestly like a little square of latex. Anyway, good for this girl. And if dental dams are your jam, try a pull-on pair. Jeez, I'm almost 40 and I haven't even started down that track. You've got a lot of life to live, boy. I don't know.

You know, you get to a certain age and you're like, I'd probably miss that chapter. Like, you know, if you haven't read Harry Potter at 40, you probably don't want to read Harry Potter. And if you haven't, later put a latex on your... Genies? Yeah, and had somebody, I don't know. I love this too much.

Yeah, fantastic. Too much. How did I do? Great entrepreneurship anyway. You did really good actually. Good on her though. She's seen a gap in the market. Yeah, for sure.

She's seen a gap, she's put some latex over it and now she's really doing... Go downtown. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, Booking.com has named the most welcoming cities in the world. Booking.com, the website where you book the hotels. Never heard of it. I have a vague memory of something similar. Right.

Well, Canterbury has been named one of Booking.com's most welcoming regions in the whole world. Really? Yeah, for 2022. I've always found Canterbury quite welcoming, but I am white, so... Okay. Helps. I look great in a pair of shorts for the farm. You've got your hat too, your big farmer's hat.

Yeah, the Akubra. That's pretty much a passport to Canterbury, rocking it in the old Akubra hat. Yeah. The swatty. That's a Canterbury uniform. Yeah, no Akubra. That's pretty much a passport to Canterbury, rocking it in the old Akubra hat. Swatty. That's a Canterbury uniform. Yeah, no, it is. So Canterbury, six out of ten on the list. Wow.

I don't even know how to say this place, but it's in Slovenia. Gorkinska? Sure. Sure. Taiwan. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Flood of complaints from Slovenians listening. You've got that wrong

They have come out Of the woodwork How would you say that I don't know I daren't try that Right The Taitung country In Taiwan

Is second Tasmania Australia third I'd love to go I'd love to go to Tasmania Always It looks beautiful It does

Burgenland Austria Is the fourth most Welcoming region on Earth. The Seychelles in Africa, number five. Canterbury, six. The Seychelles is... That's the islands.

It's islands. Did they fall under the African umbrella today? It's got Africa in brackets, but yeah, it's obviously the island nation. Canterbury, as we mentioned, at six. Santa Cruz, Argentina, seven. Nova Scotia, Canada at eight. And Le Mans in Costa Rica, nine. And number 10 in Spain, La Roja.

La Roja. The most welcoming regions on earth. But they have broken it down into the 10 most welcoming towns in Aotearoa. Oh. And I've got the top 10. Parmi. At 10. At 10.

Kerry Kerry at 9. Martinborough 8. Martinborough is very welcoming. Really? Well, if you've got money to spend. Yeah, I was going to say, if you're wearing nice clothes. Do you not wear nice clothes when you were there? No, I'm always rocking around in a pink gear.

Parmi's interesting. I've never found Parmi welcoming. It's too big. It's too like spread in sort of wide. It's not, I wouldn't think of it as a sort of

a welcoming town. Towns to north. Yeah. Invercargill is seven on the list of the most welcoming towns in New Zealand. Wild.

Well, yeah, Tim Shandbolt's always welcomed us. He's always welcomed us. He's always welcomed us. I don't even remember any lovely people, but you know.

Picton at number six for the most welcoming. They've got the toasted sandwiches we talked about. Yeah, they're stoked to have you. a room to lovely people but you know Picton at number 6 for the most welcoming They've got the toasted sandwiches that we talked about Yeah they're stoked to have you Oh yeah that toasted sandwich place in Picton Had a few people message me

over summer that were there being like we stopped here because you guys talked about it and it's absolutely off the chain Yeah Yeah Yeah friend Mike stopped in sent me a photo

God that looked amazing Stop it How good's a Reuben? Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it Stop it

Cambridge at 5 for the most welcoming towns in New Zealand Cambridge Amazing. Stop it. How good's a Reuben? Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Cambridge at five for the most welcoming towns in New Zealand. Cambridge? Whanganui at four with the big pencils. I've still got to see the big pencils. Oamaru at three. Beautiful. I love Oamaru.

I love Oamaru. It's beautiful. Lake Tekapo at two. And Hokitika, having just cancelled the wild foods yesterday, the most welcoming town in New Zealand we've been a couple of times. It is welcoming. It's a beautiful place. Auckland not on there. Nah.

Those top ones are more touristy. They'd see a lot of traffic. And they're small enough that people are nice and friendly and welcoming. Whereas I remember when I didn't live in Auckland, you'd come to Auckland and you'd be like, what's up with Auckland? Oh, yeah, so everybody's busy.

They've got their own schedule. Yeah, someone's a bit ready to pickpocket you. Yeah. When have you ever been pickpocketed in Auckland? You steal your vehicle at the lights, you know. Oh, you're thinking Johannesburg. Oh, yeah. You get them to be confused again.

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. This is gross. This is really really gross Of course We all know this We grew up knowing this That dentists Recommend brushing your teeth

At least twice a day Yeah At least twice a day Can you brush your teeth too much? Yes And take the old enamel off You can take the enamel off And you can recede your gums

Yeah you can I used to be I used to be a hard Brush I'm a soft toothbrush now. Yeah, you've got to be soft because it's too much. It's too abrasive. Because they were on a real dentist,

were on a real receding gum buzz last year because you and Sade Fletch went to the dentist about the same time and you both came back with the receding gum chat. Yeah, I've got it. Yeah, and, you know, my dentist called the electric toothbrushes chainsaws. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine too. called the electric toothbrushes chainsaws. Oh, really? Mine too.

They hate them. You've got to use a handheld one step up from like a baby's one, like super soft. I've got a real super soft one now. So you've got to brush your teeth twice a day before you start your day and at the end of your day. But they have done a study in the UK that found that during the pandemic, we've mostly gone down to brushing just once a day.

And a quarter of us don't floss at all. Oh, wow. So during this pandemic, we're getting worse and worse and worse. It's the same because we're leaving our house less. So we might brush at the end of our day because, you know, we've eaten all of these things. But in the morning, because we're not getting up and leaving the house, we're sort of meandering around a little bit more.

We're not brushing in the morning. And you're not in your routine, so you're not going to work. So you're like, well, you just end up going from breakfast to the couch or to your desk to do work. You're not leaving, so you're not like, oh, I've got to brush my teeth. That routine, man. 28% of people in the survey said that they just had other health issues on their mind, i.e. COVID.

Yeah. So dental hygiene just wasn't a priority. But then I thought masks would have made it, when you put your mask on, probably you put your mask on, you're like, I haven't brushed my teeth. And you'd brush your teeth if you were leaving the house, but so many people weren't leaving the house. Yeah, that's the thing. They weren't leaving, so they weren't getting that breath check. And also when you do go out to the supermarket,

you've got a mask on, so you're less worried about your stank breath everywhere. But yeah, you've got to inhale it. Yeah. Brush your teeth twice a day at least. Good news for dentists, though. When things pick back up, everybody will need fillings. They're going to make a pop out of us for sure. You've got to floss.

Have you been to the dentist yet? Nope. Born? Nope.'ve got a floss. Have you been to the dentist yet? Nope. Give us a smile. You can't see it, but the one at the back's the one that needs work. It's got the temporary crown on it that came off. Yeah, 10 years ago. Jeepers.

Coming up 12 years. This year it'll be 12 years. Just keep writing. Give him a floss. I give it a floss. I get my floss on And then there's I got a mouth full of blood And then I do a Like a

Full strength Listerine Oh my god You need to go to the dentist Not the brown one Not the brown one My family's a brown Listerine We grew up on brown Listerine It used to pull through my mind

Yeah and it literally Said on the side I remember learning The meaning of the word Dilute Because it said on the side Do not dilute. But as kids, we used to just put a tiny bit in

and then fill the rest up with water. And that's when my dad's like, that's not how it works. That's his do not dilute. I was like, what does dilute mean? He's like, water it down. Don't do it. But mind you, Ian. You have to do that to Listerine.

It's too strong. Dad had the same theory with juice. You can't water down juice. That's a good theory. You've got to water down juice. Juice is too full noise. Oh, that's a good theory. You've got to water down juice. No. Juice is too full noise. Well, that's why we've got terrible teeth.

We were having a full juice, weakening them with the sugar and then blasting them with full strength brown Listerine. Jeepers. Too much. Just when we thought we'd seen it all on reality TV, there's a new reality TV show in the US. It is called Adults Adopting Adults. Did you ever think we would be adopting a grown woman?

And here we go. I realised I had no one in my life to be my legacy. The reason I want to be adopted by the Scots is I just want stability. I want us to work on us before you bring another human into our marriage did you guys do a background check of bianca do you trust her in your home this is all so weird this is all so weird what obviously twitter is blown up about this people are are like, this is predatory behaviour. This is like a bit creepy weepy.

On both sides, right? Because if the young person's getting taken advantage of, that's predatory. They're not even young. Younger. Younger. They sort of range from this. The series follows six different stories,

ranging from a US-based elderly German prince looking to adopt an adult son to carry on his legacy to a 23 year old college grad with a rough background who desperately wants a stable family. And that's the debate on Twitter is people being like ooh creepy ooh this is weird. Yeah.

And like I get it. People just want a family. People want to feel like they're part of something and a bit of stability. Yeah. I'm kind of on board with the second until I read that one of the couples on this show, Danny and Christy, before this was filming, they had previously tried to adopt an 18-year-old girl when the husband, Danny, who has a history of infidelity, started developing feelings.

Oh, Danny. For the young 18 year old that they'd adopted. So they halted the adoption process and now in this show they're in the process of trying to adopt another adult into their family. That's where I'm like

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Do you remember last year everyone was like, what? Sia announced that she'd adopted like two 18-year-old boys. Men. Men, who were like aging out of the foster system. Yes. Which is nice.

But then when you're 18, you're on your own, right? Yeah, I guess it's so that they had parents or a parent. But yeah, everyone was a bit like, oh, it's strange. And then she became a grandma, right? Yeah. Like really early. But then it's like... But then, I mean,

it's reality TV. We love this kind of train wreck stuff. Oh, God. It's going to be great watching. Oh, no, this Danny character's not good. Oh, I first came... Adult adoption came to my attention when a young 18-year-old came

and bought a puppy from us. Her dad had passed away and we felt like we wanted to help her. Unfortunately, I couldn't pursue her as a daughter because I actually started having feelings for her. She was very beautiful. Oh, please. Okay, yeah, wow. Danny, no.

I think that was the voice in the thing where the wife is like, we need to work on us before we bring another 18-year-old into our house. And then there's the other side. What about like really crafty 18 year olds that just see wealthy like the dude who's the prince without an heir and that somebody can get in there and like scam them. But in a way like that German prince, that's what

they want is someone to carry on their legacy. Someone to like inherit their family line I guess. Money included. So if it works for both of them. Yeah. Otherwise what are they going to do? Give the money to charity? That's just getting a sugar daddy, right? That's exactly what that is. Minus all the work

you've got to do for a sugar daddy. From the bustling ZM think tank this is the top six. Hey, Norsewood. A town in the North Island. A rural settlement in the Tararua district in the Manawatu a rural settlement in the Tararua District

in the Manawatu-Fonganui region of New Zealand's North Island. It is situated east of the Ruahine Mountain Range and is located 20 kilometres northeast of Dannevirk. Dannevirk? Dannevirk. Dannevirk. Dannevirk. This looks cool.

So absolutely like settled by Vikings. It's the Vikings. Of Scandinavian descent. And it's like the Viking capital of New Zealand. Yeah, it is. It looks cool. I love Denny Burke. Good fish and chips.

Good fish and chips? It's so inland though. Yeah, on the side of the road. Really? So inland. Oh, I know. There's good luck trolls. How do they get the fish there?

They swim. Up the river. They call them. I would say they're frozen. There's upper and lower Norsewood. They lie on either side of State Highway 2. There was a logging settlement. There's lucky trolls.

Good luck trolls carved out of wood. And sadly, yesterday, the Viking Festival was cancelled along with the wild foods. Just add that to the list of everything that's been cancelled, sadly. The Norsewood Viking Festival actually looks really cool. There's some LARPing, some live action role play, like battles with swords and shields that people make themselves. Armoury. You can go around and see how blacksmithing would have been done.

Oh, do they have any catapults? Did Vikings have catapults? They can't see any catapults in the photos. There's like tents and stuff and ladies showing the wares. Tents and ladies. Tents and stuff and then ladies showing their wares and blacksmithing. And you can see those Viking fjord horses. Oh, okay.

Try out some Scandinavian treats. This has got Aaron written all over it. Oh, Aaron would be... Aaron's welcome to come. My fiancé Aaron wants to have a Viking funeral. Yes. He wants to be put on a raft. So does Vaughn.

Sent into a lake and then bow and arrow set him ablaze. Yeah. The only problem is a family will be having a picnic the next day and his body will wash up charred and with an arrow in it. I know. That'd be horrible for the family. It would be quite traumatising. Before it was cancelled, you could have also on Sunday,

the 7th of February, seen the Pixie Chicks. That's a band that would have been playing. Like the Dixie Chicks. Like the Dixie Chicks, but the Pixie Chicks. Right, okay. Yeah, it looks good. So I've got the top six other things Vikings

that you can do this long weekend because you'll be at a loss now. Yeah, you will be, can't you? Twiddling your Viking thumbs. Yeah. Number six on the list. The top six things

for the Vikings to do this long weekend. Grab your axe and do some gardening. Great time to get into the garden. Garden with your axe. Yeah. Well, it'd be great for like trenching

or just like breaking up some hard soil in these dry times. Not so good for tending the roses. You'd have to be a dab hand with an axe. You'd have to be a little mini axe. Number five on the list of the top six things for Vikings to do this long weekend, some socially distant Pilates.

It's important to remain limber and flexible while swinging around swords and axes and attacking other villagers for their wares. You could probably do with some Pilates with your back at the moment. I've been told again. Oh, they love telling you about your flexibility when you've got a sore butt.

Flexibility is to physios what flossing is to dentists. Yeah. Have you tried stretching? Boring. I've got better ways to film a day. Yeah, and you know, and to add another one.

Yeah. When doctors are like, stop being morbidly obese. And you're like, I'll be morbidly obese. I'll just go home and work on that, shall I? Yeah, good.

Cool. Number four on the list of the top six things for Vikings to do if they're at a loss this weekend. A lovely walk along the beach with a loved one. I will encourage you, though, because I know when you're often walking up a beach, Viking, it's to do some pillaging or murdering.

I will say not this weekend, please. No, be nice. Be nice this weekend. Number three on the list of the top six things for Vikings to do this long weekend. Get an ice cream. Oh, yeah. Basically because it's hot and you deserve an ice cream. Yeah.

And you shouldn't feel bad about having an ice cream, a delicious, cold, creamy treat. Yum. Take your helmet off first, though, because otherwise you'll make a real mess. You will. Number two on the list of the top six things for Vikings to do this weekend, how about getting your pelts ready for winter?

It's warm at the moment and we're off to forget that a cold winter doth our way cometh. And we don't want to be caught short with a lack of pelts. You don't. When the winter turns. And number one on the list of the top six things for Vikings to do this long weekend. If they're at a loss, take the boat out. Sure.

Have a row somewhere. Yeah, have a row. Have a row and a sail. Again, no pillaging, please. No burning. No murdering. Yeah. Just take it easy.

It's a nice, casual, long weekend. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Netflix has finally done us all a solid by, if you start watching a show or a movie and you're like, this is a poll toad, but then you're constantly reminded because when you go down to continue watching

something you actually like it's there teasing you. And if you finish the things in front of it it moves its way further closer to the queue a little bit of a hey remember me?

Yeah. And you're like yes Red Notice I do remember you but despite being an insanely popular movie you're a pile of junk. Yeah.

So they've now got it where you can delete it from continue watching but you'd still have a continue watching list for the stuff you want yes i'll never find it i'll be like what show am i watching at the moment yeah so you go you click on it like you would to continue watching yeah and then you scroll down and in all the options yeah like play episodes more like this audio and subtitles and then you can down. And in all the options. Yeah, like play episodes, more like this, audio and subtitles. And then you can put remove from continue watching. Because I think they had a little hack where if you were on the web browser logged in, you could start, you could do this like last year they announced that.

But now it's on all the TV apps. Yeah. Great. On the app itself on iPhone or Android. I thought they were removing the, hey, are you still watching when you're about eight episodes into a thing? Do you have that?

Oh, yeah, between when it goes, because you've just let it play. Autoplay, autoplay, ticks over, ticks over. Maybe having a day on the couch. Yeah. And it goes like, are you still watching? I thought that was being-

Do you have to click yes? Like if you've fallen asleep and that comes up It just pauses It just pauses and that's handy It's quite confronting when that happens So I

But I hate clicking yes like yeah I am I am yeah What about it? I'd be all for having a smart TV because you know there's some like really flash cars

that like know when you take your eyes off the road or know if you shut your eyes and they go Or vibrate your bum. Have you been in those?

Where it's like. You're like, hello. Might cross over this barrier again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut your eyes. What a fun drive. Very dangerous fun drive. But there should be.

If there was a TV that watched your eyes and the minute they shut, it was just like, pause. That'd be great. Yeah, because when you get really sleepy and you start dozing off you always miss the last. And you rewind it

right to the start and you fast forward you're like oh yeah I was up to this bit and you keep watching and you're like no I've seen this bit and you're like oh

that's right that wasn't the last bit I watched. No I've seen this bit as well. That means that you'd have to have a camera in your TV meaning someone's

constantly watching you and then watching you sleep. The TV's watching you. Yeah. It's like somebody at a Philippine call centre watching you and then watching you sleep. The TV's watching you. Yeah. There's not somebody at a Philippine call centre watching you and be like, and pause. TV's are as smart as humans. Smart.

Some TV's are smarter than some humans. Are smarter than humans. I'd put it out there. Yeah. Do you know what Netflix needs to get? What? And it's Amazon Prime's absolute best feature. Oh yeah.

Because when you're watching a movie or you're watching an animated show on there and you're like, who's that? Pause. And you pause it and it brings up everybody that's in the scene, the music that's playing in the scene. There might be a little fact about the scene. Oh, and because Amazon owns IMDb, right?

Yeah. So it's linked and it's time linked and it is. Yeah, it is good. And I wish everybody had it. Shame about the catalogue, though. You know, I think it's got somelinked. And it is. And I wish everybody had it. Shame about the catalogue, though. You know, I think it's got some good stuff in there. Yeah, but once you've watched it. Right.

You know, you've watched it. You've clocked out. Yeah, but the boys season three. Yeah, that's imminent. Yeah. So that's going to be good. There's some good stuff on there. Yeah.

What did I watch? You know, when you go to like an Airbnb and they've got like a resident log on and you go to the continue watching, you're like, hello. Yeah. What did I watch? You know when you go to like an Airbnb and they've got like a resident log on and you go to the continue watching you're like hello. Yeah. What did I watch? It was a sexy thing.

Ah, 50 Shades of Grey. They were having a little sexy day. Yeah, someone had paused it. They didn't get finished. They got a little excited. Yeah, I clicked it. I clicked it and continued

where they left off. And where were they up to? Oh, like early on. Oh. Just the main thought. I made it to the end. You were like is that all you got Christian Grey? Yeah, yeah, on. Oh. Just the main thought. I made it to the end. You were like, is that all you got, Christian Gray? Yeah, yeah, right.

Give me 50 Shades Darker. A wild ride on Wordle today. Holy moly. We were word for word this morning before we went arrived, and then I got it in four. Has everybody ever shared on Wordle? I had the chance. You can't say it. Oh, I mean, I can't. I'm not going everybody ever shared a wordle? I had a chance. You can't say it.

I mean, I can't. I'm not going to say what the word is because I know a lot of listeners do wordle. But I had the chance to get it in two. Yeah. We both had the chance to get it in two with our first word. What a journey. Shared experiences, eh? They bring us closer together.

What a world. What a journey. What a crazy journey. Black, foreign, hailey, silly a journey. What a crazy journey. Black spot and Hayley's silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole,

silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Well, today's silly little pole. Keeping money you find on the streets? Yes, I will. I wonder if we should have set a dollar amount.

Like, say, for example, you find $200 or $20 or $20,000. Ah, yes. Everyone's going to have a different response for more money, right? Okay, so $20, do you keep it? Yes. No. What? You don't keep $20? What, you go to the Okay, so $20,000. Do you keep it? Yes. No. What? You don't keep $20,000?

What? You go to the cops with a $20 note? You're a pain in the ass. No, I thought you said $20,000. No, $20,000. Oh, no, I keep $20,000. $20,000. But I look around for cameras because it could be like a Jono and Ben show where they're

pranking you. If you bend over to grab it and all of a sudden it goes, Yeah, it's on nylon. Yeah, I stabbed him. I'm keeping it too. $200,000. Do you keep it? Yes.

Fletch? Yes. Me too. $2,000. Do you keep it? No. Fletch? Yes.

Yes, I would. $20,000. Do you keep it? No. Fletch? No. Yes. I keep it Porsche to find his feet.

I keep $5,000 and say I found $15,000. Yeah, right. I think the most I've ever found on the street was a $50 note. And I was like, cha-ching. I hit the big time. And I was like 17 maybe at the time. I was in an ATM a long time ago and somebody had left the money in the thing. And I don't know why it hadn't swallowed it back up.

No, it sets off an alarm. I did it once. It goes like, dee, dee, as you walk away. And so I was like, I just got the cash out and the receipt, and I could see they didn't have a lot of money in their account, so I just took it into the bank. Oh, Fletch. I know.

What a hero. I do not like to go on about my good deeds and charity, but in this instance, I will. Some angels don't have wings. What a white saviour. Tell us what else you've done. Take your time and tell the world what a great person you are. I don't know.

But I should definitely get an MIQ spot. Yeah. With this kind of... Me too. Well, we didn't set... Imagine if MIQ spots were doubt out on like... What are the five best things you've done lately? Like deeds?

Yeah. Tell us your five deeds. I wouldn't get one. No, no, I'd be on the streets. Would it count if, like, you massaged your partner for longer than they massaged you back? Yeah, absolutely. That's a good deed. I think you're a good person, but I don't know if you should get a spot. Yeah, well, we didn't set a monetary value on this.

We just said, keep the money you find on the streets. Yeah, keep it. Nah, it's not yours. 86% are pocketing the money. Wow. And just 14% are saying, no, it's not yours. I'd like to imagine people finding money on the streets. It's like a 20 in their head, right?

A 5 or a 20. You're keeping it. Absolutely. But yes, if you found a sack of money. Like at the back of an Armour Guard truck. Yeah, you're probably best to go to the police with that one. Keep a little for a rainy. No, you don't keep a little.

What's a bit a little? You hand it all in and if nobody claims it. Right. And what is the cut off? Like two months or something? You get to keep it. So someone, Georgia messaged in saying, I found $200 sticking out of an ATM. The bank wasn't open. It was a Sunday and no one was around. So to keep it. So someone, Georgia messaged in saying, I found $200 sticking out of an ATM.

The bank wasn't open. It was a Sunday and no one was around. So I took it. I knew the bank wouldn't honour the finder's keepers except if the true owners can be identified rule. At the time, I also assumed that the bank would have refunded their customer, whoever they were. So instead, to ease my guilt,

I called the local police station and told them that I had found money on the street. The cops offered to come and pick it up, but they wouldn't specify when. In the end, it was too much of a hassle. So they kept the money. Can you imagine how much money it needs to be for the police, the time, the effort, the paperwork? I'd imagine $20,000 or less is too much effort for them.

Here's someone who lost money. When I was a student, I just sold my textbooks to someone, lost the cash on a two-minute walk back to my flat. I was gutted, and it was a few hundred dollars. It would have meant a lot if the person who found it had have handed it in to the police. But how do you, because if it's cash, how do you identify? Could I just ring the police today and say,

I dropped $500, I've lost cash. You'd just say I found it here and then the person would make a, yeah. And then the cops would say, well, where did you go when you lost your money? Yeah. Put two and two together. Kat said that she learnt about the rules of finders keepers because she found $130 on the side of the road, took it to the police station, no one claimed it.

They called me in three months saying it was mine why wouldn't the police just be like let's go to the pub because I think when you become a policeman you've got to have

all this integrity and stuff yeah man it's $130 bags Kat's just going to assume it's gone back to its rival owner yeah I'd have just put it

into the staff Christmas party the police staff Christmas party totally like they do with all the drugs they confiscate right absolutely old cocaine corner out the back its rival owner. I'd have just put it into the staff Christmas party, the police staff Christmas party. Totally, like they do with all the drugs they confiscate, right? Yeah. Absolutely. Old cocaine corner out the back. Yeah,

that's why they hire rainbows in and just do... That's why they've... And pingas and then... Yeah, yeah. That's why they've started doing those helicopter trips to find drugs again.

The last couple of Christmas parties have been real dirt. Exactly why, yeah. So let's get that helicopter back up. Charlie, this is a great one from... Can't wait to get pulled over on the way home today. Yeah. This is a great one from Charlie.'t wait to get pulled over on the way home today. Yeah.

This is a great one from Charlie. Someone pushed in front of me in a line in town without even acknowledging the fact that they were doing it. They then proceeded to drop five bucks, which you best believe went straight into my pocket. Yeah, that's caramel. You can absolutely keep a fiver. I back that.

That's fine. Oh, I found $400 in a bag out the front of the local dairy as a 10-year-old. That's so many lollies. My mum and dad knew I wouldn't be able to keep it a secret, so I had to hand it in to the police. Mum! And did they get the money back?

I like how mum and dad only handed it in to the police because they were afraid if they kept it, the kid would blab. Yeah. Nobody claimed it, so I got it back. Do good and good will come back. Because you don't know, that could have been drug money and those people aren't going to the cops. That's what I would think about $20,000 in cash

if I found it. It's drug money. So I'm doing everybody a favour by taking this out of the drug circulation. You're doing your part in the law. And popping it into the slow cooked meats industry. The whiskey industry.

You know, the other good industries. Drew messaged saying, anything under 20 bucks is for keeps. You're telling me if you found a $50 note, Drew, what, you're taking that to the cops? Yeah. Goody, goody, Drew shoes. Come on, goody, Drew shoes.

Treat yourself. Yeah, I'd keep it. So, all right. So we're keeping money Under a certain amount A hundy $20,000 No you can't take

$200 to the cops No there's a One to five Under $500 We're keeping Under $200 We're keeping Under $250

We're keeping You can keep it Somebody said There's been a change In ATMs now If the money's left in there For so long They suck it back in

Yeah That's what I think happens Yeah So you can go in there for so long, they suck it back in. Yeah. That's what I think happens, yeah. So you can go to your bank and be like. It sucked it back in. Yeah. That's why they give you your card back first. Because people would just leave their cards in because as soon as they get their money, they're off.

That's what they wanted. Yeah. Somebody said I used to work for cash in transit. Oh. One of the vans dropped $1,000 in $1 coins. Is that like in a sack? Yeah. That must be so heavy. That'd be so heavy. We got it all back. Why don't you just come across a sack? You'd feel like an old school

burglar. Burglar. Over the shoulder. We got a tree. We got a bag of coins. So it's 8 grams a coin. So that's 8,000 grams. Which is?

8 kgs. 8 kgs. That's not much. That's not much. It's not much at all, is it? I can kill that amount. All right. I don't want to.

Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. This year could be the first time ever in New Zealand that divorces outnumber weddings, marriages. Oh, that's sad. This doesn't surprise me, though, because so many people will just be putting off their big day, won't they? Yes, but if you look at this graph that I've got here, which obviously... You said graph. I pronounce it graph. It's definitely

graph. The listeners can't see the graph I'm holding up. It's a graph. The graph. But this graph starts at 1960. And Vaughan, if you could describe to the listener the graph. What's the red line? The red line is the marriage rate. I tell you what, it probably peaked around 1970.

It's per 1,000 people, the marriage rate I've got here. And it's just been absolutely plummeting ever since. And the black line is the divorce line. Divorce lows peaked. What is that, 1980? What's that? 1982 had a peak. Hell of a year.

Hell of a year. What happened in 1982? Because there was a huge surge. Well, I was born and people saw me as a baby and they were like, well, my children aren't as cute. I've got to divorce my partner immediately and find a better looking spouse. And remarry. Falklands War?

Oh, the Falklands War would have kicked off many. You know, people were like, I'm on the Chilean side. And people were like, no, the British are right, it's theirs. And it just destroyed households. So the marriage rate as of Jan 1, 2020, was 8.3 per 1,000 people aged 16 plus. The divorce rate, 7.6 per 1,000 people. So they're saying this year,

with the fact that there have been lockdowns, maybe people are putting off their weddings. And the fact that it's just declining anyway. And nothing makes you want to not marry someone, like locking in a house with them month on month on month. Yes. And knowing what they're really like. This was a major thing for marriage counsellors and therapists and stuff. Their books were booked out. So lots of couples were coming out of, just speaking on behalf of like anonymous couples, were coming out of lockdown

looking for some professional help. Totally a hypothetical situation. Hypothetically, we're looking for some professional help to sort of deal with each other. Gotcha. And couldn't find any kind of therapist. They're totally booked out because all couples were coming out going,

I need to learn how to not hate this person anymore. Wow. I honestly think I was on the other end of it. It made you stronger. Yeah, we thrived in this. That sounds awesome. I mean, don't get me wrong, there was

disagreements, but it certainly like wasn't that bad. I think you either like thrived or hated it. Yeah. I think, yeah, you either went either way with couples. Also, it makes sense with all these marriages being, weddings being postponed.

And I guess there's sort of like lots of couples now are like, why get married? You know, it's not such a thing anymore. We don't have to get married to live together or have children. Yes, we do. Our Lord and Saviour Jesus said we do. Yeah, did he? Okay.

But if you want to buy a house, like a wedding could be quite a good deposit. Yeah. And so why bother? What do people spend on a wedding? Like $20,000 to $40,000? Yeah. That's a big chunk of money. That's one hundredth of an Auckland house.

So, you know, just hang in there. Hang in there. Skip 10 weddings and you've got a house deposit. Hello, stop being greedy, Generation Z. ZM's I Spy with OPSM. Chance for you right now to win $250 cash and a $200 OPSM voucher. We're going to play I Spy with OPSM. And it's famous New Zealand places and landmarks

today, Vaughan. We are in Dunedin and I spy with my little eye something that begins with L L I'll tell you what, this game really makes

me second guess how I say my letters because when I say L and when I said R, the other day I was like, am I saying that right? Like a pirate. R. Okay, but it's something beginning with L. L today. L. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Long weekend group tour, the first of 2022. Free fuel every 15 minutes for grabs. Just giving it away. Yeah. Absolutely giving it away. Which is good because it's bloody expensive at the moment. Oh my god, I know. Some place it's $3 getting close to. I filled up the chimney for the first

time yesterday. How much? $70. Oh, that's good. Pretty good. Because I'm back on the 91, baby. I'm back on the 91. Welcome back. We don't need premium. No, no. Good. No one needs premium. Yeah. Well, car manufacturers and mechanics might disagree with that. No, no. Good. No one needs premium. Yeah. Well, car manufacturers and mechanics might disagree with that. It's an absolute flex.

Speaking of a man who loves premium things, Simon Cowell. Poor guy. He is lucky to be alive after he was rushed to the hospital on Thursday after another horror crash on an e-bike. You may remember a number of months ago, 18 months ago, he broke his back on an e-bike. You may remember a number of months ago, 18 months ago, he broke his back on an e-bike in Malibu. He's got this whopping scar up at the centre of his spine. Recovered from that, bought himself a new Daz Spitzing Evolution S-Pedelec bike.

What? What is that? Which is about... Daz Evolution. Daz Spitzing Evolution S-Pedelec bike. What? What is that? Which is about... Daz Evolution. Daz Spitzing Evolution S pedelec bike. Have you seen how expensive e-bikes are? So expensive. This bike is 8,000 pounds.

So about $16,000. Wow. And he crashed that too. It's like a mountain bike. It's like an e-mountain bike. It goes up to about 45 kilometres an hour on a bike that's very fast. Well, he's come off it again. He flew over the handlebars

while not wearing a helmet. A dickhead! Don't not wear a helmet! I don't think the rest of the world takes helmet wearing as seriously as we do in New Zealand. I'd never not wear a helmet. Well, they bloody should. He gets drilled into us as kids. He's lucky to be alive. He had a horrible crash.

Facial cuts, broken arm, concussion, slammed into the road, not wearing a helmet. Lucky he's not dead. Do you think he's crashing on purpose? And so he goes into hospital and he's like, while I'm in here, can you tighten up a bit of this? Tighten up my face. Suck out a bit of that.

Get a bit of that. Because he's had some work done. Yeah, but I think he's had a lot done. I don't think he cares what people think. Right. Look at him driving around England, driving around the streets of London with no helmet on, like an absolute idiot.

So the last time the crash happened was in Malibu and this time it happened in London. Yeah. Yeah. Intercontinental. Yeah. He said he was pedalling along, he had the motor going

when the wheel suddenly went out from underneath him after hitting a wet patch. He slipped and went flying over the handlebars into the middle of the road. On a mountain bike? There would have been so much tread. What did he hit?

Like an oil patch or something? Yeah, I don't know. He must have hit, the tread must have been worn thin. Well, he's bad luck. He's got terrible luck. This isn't his thing. I would have given up after the first crash. I would have been worn thin. Well, he's bad luck. He's got terrible luck. This isn't his thing. I would have given up after the first crash.

I would have been like, mountain biking or biking? Not my thing. Not my thing. I bet you the dork will get on a bike for a third time with no helmet and he'll come off again. So we wanted to ask you, what keeps on happening to you? What terrible thing do you keep on being a victim of?

Whether it, maybe it's, maybe you've got your own sort of injury or incident. Maybe you've, like me, you've broken

your left arm three times. What if you keep going for the bad boy and it just keeps blowing up in your face but it just keeps happening? You won't learn your lesson. Or your car keeps

getting broken into. Yeah. Maybe you just keep getting UTI on UTI on UTI. You know? And you just... And you're not learning your lesson. No sooner have you emptied the cranberry juice, it's bad.

Sometimes that's a pH imbalance. Some people are just not chemically compatible in the region. We had a friend and her boyfriend was a bit acidic, wasn't he? Yeah, and she was a bit base. And she was a baseline. Base, outline. Yeah. Oh, dear. And it fizzed, alkaline. Yeah. Oh, dear.

And it fizzed like when you put vinegar in baking soda together. It was a volcano. Volcano? Is that what that was? No. So, 0800-DARLS-AT-M. Give us a call.

You can text as well, 9696. What just keeps on happening to you? Well, Simon Cowell has had his second e-bike incident. Yes, said to be lucky to be alive after he flew over the handlebars. No helmet on. That's on him. But it was the second time he's come off his bike in 18 months. E-bikes might not be for him.

No. So we want to know, what keeps happening to you? Yeah, what is the bad thing that just keeps on tapping at your door? Somebody messaged in saying, kidney stones. I've had one every three to four months. How do you get kidney stones? Was it kidney stones you had, Jared?

Horrible things. Vitamin C overdose? You have to weed them out. Yeah, I think so. Through the ureth. Yeah, ureth. Yep. That's where I weed from anyway. Never had them. Sometimes. Yeah, no, so. Through the ureth. Yeah, ureth. Yep. Oh, far out. That's where I wee from anyway. Never had them. Sometimes. Yeah, no, luckily.

Touch wood. Nathan, what keeps happening to you? Oh, guys, I have an issue with my sneezing and I constantly dislocate my ribs. My dear. Nathan, are you holding it in? No, I don't hold it in. I'm just super, super aggressive.

I wish we could get some black pepper under your nose now. I want to hear this aggressive sneeze. No, we don't want him dislocating a rib. So does it just pop out? Do you pop it back in or do you have to go and see a physio to do that? No, they can't do anything about it. It just sort of has to work its way back in. It's about three or four days of agony.

All right. That sucks. Wow. You need to get some Clariton. Just not the sneezing. Yeah, hay fever season. Pollen's yonks up. Brilliant, Nathan.

Thanks, you're cool. Nathan's going to be out of ribs. We're talking about what keeps on happening to you. Simon Cowell has come off as an electric bike for the second time in 18 months and had massive injuries. Yeah, some text messages on maybe people who are just now

realising they've got to stop doing something or... But how about this? This isn't even this person's fault. I've had the same back left door of my car replaced five times after five different accidents. The same door, back left. Get a new car. It sounds

cursed. Yeah. You've got yourself a cursed vehicle there. I mean, I don't believe in any of that. My back left tyre keeps getting blowouts. I've replaced the same side, the same tyre, five times in the last year. I'm hoping 2020 is kinder to my rear left tyre.

Have you got an unbalanced car? Sounds like it. I don't know. Or a proclivity. That's right, he said proclivity. Proclivity. To cutting a corner on a left-hand turn. Yeah. And just slowly carving out the tyre. Something's up there. Cheyenne, what

keeps happening to you? I've broken my foot three times and I'm currently in a cast for the third time. Has it happened differently each time? No, fairly the same. The first time was in the step class at the gym. Oh, don't do a step class, honestly.

No. A lot of coordination required for a step class. So much coordination. Yeah, exactly. And then the other two times were just, I just rolled it as I was just walking down like a step. How do you do that at a step class? Do you just, you've obviously realised you've hurt your foot.

Do you just kind of sit there and wait till the class is over and then everyone leaves and then hobble out? Well, my friend was behind me. She sort of just laughed at me and waited for me to get up and then I was like, I'm not getting up. So yeah, I had to be sort of carried out. And yeah, the whole class stopped and watched and was like, I'm not getting up. So yeah, I had to be sort of carried out and yeah, the whole car stopped and watched

and it was highly embarrassing. Oh no. Have you guys ever seen you guys go to the trip, the cycling class? Yeah. Has anybody ever come asunder on one of those bikes?

Like it all gets, because the screen's moving and everything. No, I've never seen anyone keel over. No, but they do encourage you to sort of lean a bit

when you go around the corners and I'm sometimes like. Right, but motion. A bit of motion. A bit of motion sickness. I wonder if anyone's ever leaned too far and it's toppled over the stationary bike. Thanks, Shane.

I'll let you know if that happens, Vaughan. Chris, what keeps happening to you? Yeah, hey, guys. So the Black Clash. I've been to the Black Clash a few times now, and first time we went down in Christchurch, we got robbed. Yeah, so after the black clash, we went back to our motel, went to sleep.

My partner sort of woke me up in the middle of the night, said, do you hear something? And I was like, nah, it's nothing, go back to sleep. And then woke up the next morning to catch my flight back, and my bag was missing. So it turns out they put their arm through the window. There was a gap in the window, and they put their arm through the window. I took my bag, took everything out of it, but then left a few things.

I took my Carl's Jr. burger that I left in there for breakfast the next day. That was a bit of an upset, yeah. That's the worst thing. You pre-planned your breakfast. Yeah, yeah, I know, exactly. And so they left the bag on the doorstep, and so I was like, okay, call my flight. So then the following year, we went to the next Black Clash.

This time it was in Napier. Yeah. And on the last day when we were leaving, I got back to the car. Someone had broken into the car, and they hadn't stolen anything, but they just thought, we'll break the I got back to the car. Someone had broken into the car and they hadn't stolen anything, but they just thought, we'll break the window and break the ignition barrel. And so we spent the entire day going around

Napier to like all the wreckers trying to find an ignition barrel to get the car back running so it could drive back to Wellington. So I keep getting robbed at Black Clash, so I just sat the next couple out. Right, you didn't go to the Tauranga one this year? No, no.

I thought I'd just watch it on TV. I don't want to risk getting robbed again, you know? Yeah. Well, that's the thing, it keeps happening. You'd think it would, wouldn't you? Chris thinks you call Victoria. What keeps happening to you? Last year, my car got broken into a total of eight times.

What? Wow. Do you lock your car? happening to you? Last year my car got broken into a total of eight times. Do you lock your car? I absolutely did and it was like in different locations too. Was it one of the cars that's like always on the top five break-in cars or stolen cars? I mean, I'll be honest, my car's not that good but

there's nothing inside to steal so I don't know what they were after. Your car doesn't do anything good to Ram Raid a pharmacy. No. Or a vape store. They seem to be the absolute Ram Raid favourites of late. Would they smash the window each time? Yeah, every single time the window was smashed.

What? That sucks. Was your car always parked on the side of the road? Yeah, on the side of the road and car parks down the riverbank. My insurance company hates me. They wouldn't believe you either. After it gets to like break in five, they're like, what are you doing? What kind of car have you got, Victoria?

It's like a Toyota. I don't know. It was very cheap. A Toyota? I don't know. I mean, Victoria, you've only made eight insurance claims. You need to write that out a lot. Do they ever take anything of value?

Literally nothing. Like, there's absolutely... Even the car's not valuable. I would start leaving little treats just for their efforts. Yeah, I'd leave treats outside. I'd leave maybe a box of chocolates on the roof. No, I would have put a GoPro in there to find out who it is. They would have stolen it.

Oh, yeah. Victoria, thanks for your call. Some other texts. I'm a teacher. Anytime there's a staff versus student sports game, I always get injured. I've broken my thumb,

torn my calf, and the latest injury was on the second or last day of school last year. I was fighting a student on an inflatable jousting ring.

Imagine being able to fight your teacher on an inflatable jousting ring. Imagine being able to fight your teacher on an inflatable jousting ring. I would have gone so hard. I fell and dislocated my shoulder and tore my rotator cuff in two places. So far, two months of physio with at least another month. Sit them out from now on. When a teacher goes down, there's nothing better, right?

Oh God, yeah. Yeah, you're just like... You smash the teacher. Somebody said, I keep getting married to guys that rip me off. There won't be a fourth?

There better not be. Because what was that? Is there a podcast or a TV show where someone on Tinder got ripped off like 200K? Oh, yes. There's something. I keep seeing it.

Oh, I don't know. I listened to that podcast last year by that Australian. We talked to her, that Australian journalist who was from New Zealand originally, and her podcast was tracking down that scam artist. Yeah. Pretending to be a king or something. And this woman's like, here's $200,000. Oh, dear.

And he wasn't real. Kings don't need to borrow money, do they? They just take it. No. No. They just take it. They just steal it. I keep running out of gas by rolling the dice on Fuel Light Roulette.

Yeah. It won't happen again. It will. It will. It will happen again. I've been made redundant eight times in 10 years. Oh. Oh, that sucks.

You're not very good at your job. There could be that. Like, that lies you're told to get the job? Then you've got to, like, really try to. Oh, yeah, when they're like, what are your Excel skills? And you're like, oh, you know. All of them? I'm really good. Yeah, exactly. Intermediate to experienced. That's

called conning the con. Somebody just messaged in. Conning the con. Conning the con is that podcast that you're just referring to. Yeah. I'll tune in. Yeah.

I keep ending up going on dates. I've made a pact with myself that not this year we will not be dating. As I speak, I currently have three dudes in my DMs

and I'm probably going for a dinner date with one of them next week. Whoopsie daisy. At least you lasted until February. Yeah, yeah. And someone else says I keep getting

bit of my white tail spiders. So far five and counting. Do you look like a fly? Or maybe they emanate some kind of smell. Fly. You smell like a fly. Do you have wings and vomit onto things and then eat your own vomit because it dissolved the things that you're

now eating back? Could you be a fly? Has a fly? Has a fly texted? It was from Louis. Louis the fly. Yeah, Louis the fly. Louis the goddamn fly. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM.

ZM's Add to Cart. Well, Add to Cart, giving away some amazing stuff every day, and it's super easy to play. We give you the first Add to Cart item now at 8 o'clock, and then you've got to be listening across the day at 11, 2, and 4. If you're the first through with Brianne Clint at 5 o'clock and you name everything in the cart, you win it all. I don't think we should have these in the room when I arrive at 5

because I've looked. And I looked last time. You can't have a peek. I look every day. Maybe we should actually put it in an envelope so you can't do that. Oh la la. First item added to the cart. Don't act surprised that you didn't know what that was. Oh, my God. It's some AirPods. AirPods. AirPods. Does it say what generation? I was going to say, is that the new generation,

or are we going to cheap out and get the old generation? And get old one or two. Maybe we'll get a parallel imported. What happens when you lose one? You're screwed. You're stuffed. Cool. Good to know, but there you go. That's the first item in the cart.

Yeah, AirPods. A pair of AirPods. All right, so write that down if you're making notes. Yeah, the next item, Georgia will give you that this morning at 11. Tomorrow on the show, just a quick plug. It's a return of the Long Weekend Group 2, so please do join us in your car with your horn at the ready. We've got free fuel as well tomorrow from 6 a.m. every 15 minutes

in the lead up to the Long Weekend Group 2. Can I bring in, I've got like fuel as well tomorrow from 6am every 15 minutes in the lead up to the long weekend group too. Can I bring in, I've got like a little instrument horn. It's a very horrible noise. Do I have permission to bring it in and play along? Is it like a ooga? It's like... Oh. Um.

No? Sure. I'm going to bring it anyway and then we'll see. I'll just bring it out and see what happens. Let's vote on Hayley's local reporter. Well, the news is so bad at the moment. It's all Omicron this. MIQ this.

Wah this, wah that. Wah, wah, wah. We want some good news, New Zealand. Let's have some good news. Some good news. Let's hit the regions. The regions are always full of positive people with some good news. And that's where you could become our local reporter.

We cross to you, you tell us the big news, and then you sign off. What's the sign-off going to be? For example, I would say, and that is Vaughan Smith from central Auckland for Fletch, Fawn and Hayley's Local Reporter. All right, that's pretty, that's a thick sentence. That's a lot to ask a civilian to. And then our three names and then the title of the segment. Yeah, Local Reporter.

Local Reporter. All right, well, we're going to start with Corrine this morning. Good morning, Corrine. Good morning. Whereabouts are you reporting from? I am in Tauranga CBD. Oh, yes, the hustle, the bustle of Tauranga. Now, what can you report this morning, Corrine?

People have been queuing outside the new Farmers Building since I went past at 7 o'clock. Now, Corrine, why would they be queuing at the new farmer's building? Because it opens today after four years. Wow. Because the CBD has a new farmer. Four years. Is that how long farmers have been out of action?

Out of the CBD, yeah. I mean, they're still around Tauranga and, you know, the mountain, what have you. But, yeah, yeah, we haven't had a... We've been farmerless for four years. Oh, my God. Marina can't imagine. How do you buy makeup and the likes? Oh, I tell you what, $2 shop to take it a hammering. Not comparable.

It's a $2 shop, Lippy. Now, are they doing, like, a special opening deal? Well, rumour has it around town that the first, I think, 60 people in will get a present. Oh! So that's why everybody's lining up then. Yeah. I mean, it's probably a $20 voucher when you spend $200 or more.

Yeah. I'm always a little reluctant. Or a pair of socks. Yeah, I'd love socks. I'd want to know what that present is before I spend hours lining up for something, though. Yeah, me too, me too. But, Corrine, very exciting news.

There are new farmers in the CBD of Tauranga. Would you like to sign off, please? Okay, so this is Corrine signing off from Tauranga CBD. For Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's local reporter. Okay. I think it was good. It was good. Fantastic.

That was fantastic reporting. Let's go now to Tatahi Bay where our local reporter, Hannah, is standing by. Good morning. Good morning. How are we? Good, thank you. Top notch. Can I simply say, long-time listener, first-time caller.

Yay! We love that. we love that. Well, Hannah, what's the big news to Tahi Bay this morning? Well, Fletch, it's controversial news. This is Tahi Bay. After a long time, a vehicle's been allowed to drive onto the main beach. And on Monday this week, it has now been stopped.

No vehicles allowed on the beach. I heard this. I read this, actually. And a lot of people upset, actually. It's a community divided, Hayley. It is. Look at you. She's hitting some real good news. She really is.

Thank you, John. What side of the fence are you on? Well, you know, many a summer by going off the beach and having fish and chips in the back of the ute while walking the way.

But, you know, it's all about the tamariki and keeping them safe. There's been a few, shall we say, hooligans on the beach. Well, that is often the case, isn't it, Hannah? A small percentage of the population ruining it for the rest of us. Yeah, absolutely.

Were there any squashed penguins? Was that an issue? No, I don't think we tend to get penguins on the beach. The squashed sandcastles were an issue. That's why you always put a sharp stick in the middle of your sandcastle. It's karma, isn't it? They run over that in their car, it'll go straight through the tyre, and then you can ha-ha-ha.

Yeah, right before the dog poos in it too. Exactly. So we're looking forward to seeing how this develops. Keeping a close eye. Have they put like a fence up or something, or like a gate? I'm not 100% sure what they decided on there. Maybe I'll do a drive-by today and see what's the go. Do a follow-up report in the

afternoon news. That'd be great. It would be. Alright, would you like to sign off for us, please, Hannah? This is Hannah and Tuesday day for Fletchbourne and Hayley, local reporter. Yes! That was top-notch, wasn't it? Let's go to Huntley. Did I just hear an

oh god? Ashley, good morning. Yep, that was me. Good morning. Was it because Hannah signed off so brilliantly? Oh, I'm not going to be able to cope with that. I'm not going to keep up. You can do it. Ashley, what's the big news in Huntley?

Because I'm going to be honest, Ashley, it's been a while since I've been through Huntley. Since the bypass. With the bypass. What's happening? Well, we've got a bit of a geese problem down at the local lake and they have been taking lots of dumps on the field. This isn't ongoing. We've dealt with this before.

We've talked about the poos problem in Huntly on the fields. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So we're up to about a third year of the geese problem. Yeah. And the council have introduced a new strategy called Operation Coyote. I can...

And they have... Carry on. And they have two silhouettes of coyotes on the field. I'm currently looking at a photo of it now, Ashley. Two coyote silhouettes. And the geese are absolutely just strolling past them. Yeah, they're like, why have they put silhouettes of geese? Is it working?

Absolutely not. No, no, no, no. Given that this was an accountable initiative, I'm guessing those two silhouettes of coyotes probably cost about $180,000 as well. Well, you've got to get consultants to get the shape right.

Coyote consent. And then you've got to find someone who's the shape right. Coyote consent. Yeah. And then you've got to find someone who's actually seen a coyote. Yeah. And then they spent $100,000 on a coyote, and it turned out it was the cartoon one from the Roadrunner cartoons. Totally unrealistic. That doesn't work on the geese,

so they had to go back to the drawing board. So could they have not just got people's dogs down there, Ashley? I weirdly did try that last year. I gave up after a week of taking them down um i'm going to trip the light fantastic and sound a little uh insensitive here about could we shoot the lot of them oh um the council aren't keen well they were all set up to be poisoned last year because you can only shoot them at a time of the year and the Huntley Facebook page did not allow that. Poison? Yeah, I don't like poisoning things either, like, if it can be

avoided because it can be a long, drawn out and like the geese might be like, oh yum, I'll eat that. Oh, I don't know if that was right. They fly off and they mid-air die and crash into somebody's backyard. Yeah, that's not good. All over their children in the trampoline, but shoot them. Who cares? What about just getting a large panel van with a ramp and offering them

free bread, and they all... Like a child catcher. Yeah. Come inside, little geese. Yes. And then they all waddle up the ramp for the bread. You shut the door and then just drive it down to, I don't know, Hamilton. Just put them on the river.

Let them float down. No, that's just making it somebody else's problem. Exactly. Shoot them. The Hamilton can handle it. Ashley, a fantastic report. I'd like to try a goose. I'd like to eat a goose. Really?

I don't know about that. I'd try it. I haven't eaten a goose before. A Peking goose? Oh, you definitely want some hoisin sauce. Yeah, yeah. Is there a little orange marinade? Oh, delicious.

Hello. Are we making goose pancakes? I think we are. I think we are. Ashley, a fantastic report. Would you please sign off for us? And this is Ashley all the way from Huntley, signing off for Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Go follow the fan brigade. Yes! Fantastic reporting, Ashley. Some messages in for some local SMS reports. Yes, let's have a tip around. Let's pop out to Great Barrier where there's been reports that Kiwi heartthrob Martin Henderson has been holidaying.

Ooh. The Barrier, very excited about that. Is he still on Grey's Anatomy? He's been on a few shows since. Oh, he's been in my dreams, tell you that much. Is he? Oh, he's a hottie.

He's a hottie that we have not forgot-y. I think. Oh, look at him. He gets better with age, too. Somebody said we may have taken some woman's weekly type snaps of him swinging a kid in circles and then emerging from the surf, flicking his hair back and knee up over each wave. Goodness.

Fun times. Stop him. I'm at work. I can't be feeling this way. We've all talked about it for days. Big news from Rolleston. Apparently getting the triple threat, a Costco, an Ikea, and a Countdown Distribution Centre.

Hello, is that Rolleston coming up? Yes, it is. I saw the photos of the Auckland Costco. That's coming along nicely. Yeah, I drove past it every day. I feel like I'm going to be like, I'm not going to shop there, and then I'll go there once. I'll be like, my life is forever changed.

Give me 2,000 rolls of toilet paper. The article I was saying was saying how it's like, you know, the bulk buy place. And then it said they also sell coffins. Well, that's good. What kind of coffins do they sell? Cheap ones. Polystyrene ones. Yeah, ones you don't want to be in for longer than a few hours.

Keep you warm. Well, you're dead. Why is it better? Someone said the big news in Waimāti is that the Destiny's Church has bought a forestry block down here. Well, hopefully they're going to build some cabins and piss off into the middle of nowhere. Not to Waimāti. I don't think people want to. Yeah, totally on board with that.

Someone's got to have them. But then the forestry block will be a church asset. Are they getting that tax free? Absolutely they will. Bloody, bloody hell. That's why you're doing it all wrong. I'm a church. Yes, I am.

I don't pay any tax. Ah. Hayley and I are churches. I just bought a brand new church. We're renovating. Ah, you. It's going to be gorgeous. Ah.

Then I'm going to sell it. Weird that no one comes into your church, so just you and your fiance. Yeah. They're very particular. We are. Very particular about their clientele. So that's Local Reporter.

That's all good. Fantastic reports, New Zealand. Next on the show, my children are back at school today. It's their first day back at school. Praise Jesus! Can I come to your church now? Oh, now you want Jesus.

But something happened last night on the eve of returning to school to my oldest daughter. I just couldn't believe it. I was watching it happen right in front of my eyes. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. The return tomorrow of the long weekend group to 8 o'clock, and we've got free fuel tomorrow in the build-up from 6 every 15 minutes. Something that's been sadly missing from our culinary palette,

I would say for at least 20 years has been delicious white pepper. Powdered white pepper. Now if you grew up in a white rural New Zealand household, I'm imagining you never saw blacked cracked pepper. I never did. We never had it. There was peppercorns, but they went in a

corn silverside. And then you had to pick them out before you ate them because God forbid you should actually accidentally eat a peppercorn because it was the hottest thing your little white mouth had ever tasted. Yeah, because it was always salt. Iodised table salt in the blue and white container. Yep, Cerebos. And the white pepper was like a smaller, shorter.

Yep, a stout little herb container. Little thing. But it got put into the salt and pepper. They both, in our house, got put into the salt and pepper shakers. Shaker. Which were small, white, transparent Tupperware with a sealable lid to keep the and pepper. They both, in our house, got put into the salt and pepper shakers. Shaker. Which were small, white, transparent Tupperware with a sealable lid to keep the moisture out.

And like one hole on top. Yeah. One hole for salt, multiple for pepper. Yes. Because salt's bad for you and you should have less of it. Yeah.

But my nana, my dad's mum, who's passed away, she, growing up, she was the one that, I reckon she was my gateway to spicy food. Oh, okay.

Because this is what was always on the table. Salt, white powdered pepper and Worcestershire sauce. Always. Right. Worcestershire.

I'd say it's a Worcestershire sauce, I think, as a gateway to one day being able to handle spicy. I know it's not spicy, but I think it's an introduction. It's a first step.

It's just something different. It's a first step. That and a good layer of white powdered pepper on top. Now, white powdered pepper, I don't think in all of my time flatting or being with Sade, I don't think we've ever had white pepper in the house. And you're nearly 40, and you haven't had white pepper since you were a kid.

Yeah. So this week, Sade was making a traditional noodle dish for Chinese New Year. Yeah. And she said one of the ingredients is white pepper. And I got so excited. I was like, I haven't had white pepper for years. I don't even know what it tastes like. God, you're a simple.

As exquisite as you would ever imagine. You are so easy to please. You get so excited about white pepper. So I've been having white pepper on everything. Like lunch. I had a tomato sandwich the other day. White bread, tomato, butter, and just this absolutely over-the-top amount of white pepper.

So you would go a tomato, so say based on a tomato sandwich, would you go heaps of white pepper over just a cracking of cracked pepper now? For now, I'm reliving a childhood. I'm reliving. But you think you may return? Yeah.

So last night I said I might put the white pepper on the table for dinner. Okay. And Shado's like, okay. This is a little unusual. Usually it's the cracked pepper or nothing. Yeah. So I put the white pepper on the table and my children have never seen white pepper before. They've never seen it.

Why would they? And when I sat down and I started eating children have never seen white pepper before. They've never seen it. Why would they? And when I sat down and I started eating, I smelt the white pepper and I was immediately transported to my nana's formica extendable table with the chairs

that had, I'm not 100% sure, it was like a weird material that cracked but you didn't replace it and then when you sat on it it would stretch open

and then you were just getting off it would pinch you on the way off the chair. Oh, yeah, we had that. It was like a fine leather. Yeah, and it had those white thick seams around the top of it. But you'd sit on it and it had a little crack. And you'd be like, oh, ach, ach, ach, ach, ach.

It'd pinch. I had everything. I had all the emotions flooding back, all from the smell. It's like when some people smell Play-Doh and they're transported back to their childhood. And a little tear formed in the corner of my eye. It was a whole emotion. Pepper does that.

And I was taken there by white powdered pepper. Now, I'm not on big pepper money. It certainly sounds like you're an influencer for white pepper. You know what? I would happily influence white pepper. I might do it for free. I might put up a post later, me, you know, powdering it over my food and be like, have you guys had white pepper lately?

Hashtag not sponsored. Hashtag no money in pepper. Yeah. So August, our youngest, who's seven, she'll have pepper on her food. I said, you should try some of this on your food. And she tried some. She's like, that's really nice. Indy doesn't like pepper.

But then when I said, man, does that smell like, does that remind you of your grandparents' house? And S she's like, that's really nice. Indy doesn't like pepper. But then when I said, man, does that smell like, remind you of your grandparents' house? And Sade's like, yes. It's like, you know, and we were both transported back. And Indy said, what does it smell like? Now, Indy is 10 on Sunday. Yep. 10 years old, never had white pepper,

never smelt white pepper. And when Sade and I are reminiscing, out of the corner of my eye, I just see Indy grab the white pepper pothole, put it right up to her nose, and just effectively go, and hoon a rail of white pepper. Straight out of, because it was on the. Wow, like straight out of the bag.

She couldn't even wait for someone to light it up on the club mirror. She's just like, I'll give this a test. At least put the toilet seat down and get the credit card out. She even did that thing people do on TV shows without snorting drugs and they take too much and they grip both their noses and they go, and move their nose around. She's like, and I was like, you should. I literally like panic screamed and Sade's like, no I was like, you should, I literally like panic screamed

and Sade's like, no, that's not how you sniff things. And she's like, immediately, like her eyes just start running water and she's like,

it's too much. I was like, you just vacuumed up Yeah. two full, like a full nostril of white pepper. She's like,

how do you get it out So then we are like Panicking Like somebody's just Taking too much And they're on the verge Of ODing You need a sinus

Sinus rinse To the bathroom Wash it Pour it And we got her Like she Stuck her head Under the tap

And she's like I can feel it in my eyes And that's how she learned The valuable lesson just shy of her 10th birthday on when you want to smell something, you hold it at an arm's length and you waft it towards you. Yes. You don't do half a bottle of white pepper on your first time in the club, you know.

Let's hope it's many, many years until the next time you have to clean something out of your daughter's nostril because she's getting it in her eyes. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is a little bit for me because it's about Star Wars, but it's a little bit for other people because it's about Michael Jackson. That's the two main parts of today's. Today's fact of the day is Michael Jackson wanted to play Jar Jar Binks in the Star Wars prequels but George Lucas said

no because we're going to do CGI and Michael Jackson is like no no no no no make me full prosthetics and they're like the makeup will take like 14 hours a day and then we won't be able to get any filming done and Michael Jackson was like

no I want to play Jar Jar Binks he wanted to do the voice and everything but Michael Jackson was like, no, I want to play Jar Jar Binks. He wanted to do the voice and everything. But Michael Jackson's voice is like this. I know. How different Jar Jar Binks would have been. And already, like at the time, everybody hated Jar Jar Binks. Then a lot of people still do hate Jar Jar Binks. Yeah.

The character of Jar Jar Binks. I personally don't have too much hate in my heart for Jar Jar Binks. Yeah. The character of Jar Jar Binks. I personally don't have too much hate in my heart for Jar Jar Binks. You don't have Binks beef? But imagine when the height of the hate of Jar Jar Binks and then the Michael Jackson revelations. Oh, yeah. The whole thing would have been like tenfold worse

than just those two as individual entities with their own. Why? What did Michael do? Dramatic. Yeah. Did George Lucas have some foresight there? Did he see what was coming? The main reason George Lucas said no is because Michael Jackson refused

to do the voice without doing the acting, and he wanted it to be all in prosthetics, and George Lucas is just like, it's too much. Was Jar Jar full CGI? He, yes. Or was it like a guy in a green suit? Yeah, no, a guy with the, was it the ears that were real? Yeah.

You can look at the behind the scenes and yeah, it's just this tall guy with an even taller thing on top of his head playing Jar Jar, but he did the motion capture for the walking and stuff. Right. And he was there during the filming of it, but yeah, not played by Michael Jackson.

Yeah, the behind the scenes is... It's pretty good. It's pretty good stuff. It's pretty good stuff. Will you imagine if it was Michael Jackson in a full prosthetics?

The guy who played it is ripped. It's a shame we didn't get to see him. Well, we can book Mark there for later, can't we?

Okay. Book him there for later. But today's fact of the day is you could have seen Jar Jar Binks played by Michael Jackson if Michael Jackson had had his way. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Victoria Beckham, a.k, do. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Victoria Beckham, a.k.a. Posh Spice, a.k.a. fashion designer, singer, entrepreneur and wife to David Beckham. Turns out she's got a very odd eating habit. So David Beckham was talking on a podcast and he admitted that he loves having the house to himself because he gets to eat whatever he wants. And they dove a little deeper. Dove? Dived a little deeper? Dug a little deeper? Dug a little deeper into that.

Doved a little deeper. Yeah, it's doved. Yeah, yeah. Doved a little deeper. And then David Beckham revealed. Did they dive a little deeper? They dived a little deeper with Dave. He revealed that for 25 years,

Victoria Beckham only eats grilled fish and steamed vegetables. Oh, my God. Just eat something that tastes. So she will very, very rarely deviate from that. He said once about 23 years ago, she grabbed something on his plate when she was pregnant. Oh no, this wasn't 23 years ago. A number of years ago when she was pregnant with Harper, she grabbed something from the plate and tried it,

has not eaten it since. How boring is that? What does she have for breakfast? You can't have grilled fish. She's probably one of those people that doesn't eat breakfast. I'm sure this is like one meal of the day, right? Or like for dinner she eats grilled fish. It doesn't say what meal.

And then she said she once went on the same podcast and we're talking about food. And she revealed that her favourite comfort food was plain toast with salt on it. This is why I'm never... That's the worst comfort food. This is why I'm never going to be skinny. Apparently she's...

Is this what it takes? No, it doesn't. That's not worth it. I don't think that's worth it. No, that's not worth it. Apparently she's framed it saying that it's not because of a diet thing. It's because she's an immensely fussy eater.

You know, she's got all all sorts of food hangups. But so bland. Everything like steamed. Grilled fish. Doesn't like herbs and spices. So doesn't like oils and butters. What does she eat if they go out for dinner? Well, probably has to go somewhere where there's grilled fish.

She'll probably get the chef to make a grilled fish and steamed veg. Yuck. You gotta eat a nana every now and then. A nan or a nana. Is it all about a nana inside a nan? Oh my God, what about like a chocolate nan with banana on it? In 10 seconds, we've imagined a more creative dish than she's had for 20 odd years. You call it banan.

Banan. Banan. Banan bread. But do you know there are those people that it's probably just like, you know, a routine thing, whereas I think of my dad, all he's ever had for breakfast my entire life, and still to this day when I go home, cornflakes. Cornflakes and milk. Every single morning.

My dad's a creature of habit too. No, we're not. I eat something different every single day. What about dad? Well, my dad has a muesli with a couple of We too. No, we're not. I eat something different every single day. What about dad? Well, my dad has a muesli with a couple of Weet-Bix on top and then some stewed fruit, be it rhubarb or apple. Oh, my God. I had the stewed rhubarb at your house when we stayed the night

and the week at your parents' house. It's amazing. They had it in with oats and it was incredible. Christine loves stew. Oh, it's beautiful. Loves stew and a rhubarb. Yeah. And then a bit of yogurt.

And he has this monstrous plate for breakfast and that sees him right. But loves stew. Oh, it's beautiful. Loves stew and a rhubarb. Yeah. And then a bit of yogurt. And he has this monstrous plate for breakfast and that sees him right. But every day. Same thing. I'm a family of foodies. Like, food is like an event. Every single meal is like, ooh, what can I do here? Yeah. We want to know from you guys.

Do you eat the same thing every day? I mean, breakfast is maybe a bit more common to eat every day. Like, I have a smoothie every day or I have toast in same thing every day? I mean, breakfast is maybe a bit more common to eat every day. Like I have a smoothie every day or I have toast in the morning every day. Yeah, I don't think that's unusual, the breakfast thing. Yeah, but what about your lunch? Or your dinner? Or your dinner?

Same thing every day. Like people that have sushi every day for lunch and that's all they eat for lunch. Would there be people like that? Surely you'd get sick of that. Yeah, maybe you work next to a sushi place and you're like, I'm not going anywhere else. This works for me. Or I had a friend, you know how you do those skin allergy tests

and you put all the allergens up your arms and the ones that go flare up are the things to avoid? Every single one flared up. And so he was like, oh, well, couldn't eat meat, couldn't eat this, couldn't eat that. Chocolate? So, oh, yeah, dairy gone. Oh, no.

So he probably eats the same thing every day. Yes, and iced. He's thought about it. 0800 dials at M. Imagine turning up to the clinic in Holland. I'm here for your grandmother? No, no, myself. I'm going to allude you to everything.

I just don't see a point, to be honest. Yeah. 0800 dials at M is the number. You can text as well, 9696. Do you eat the same thing every day? So it's been revealed that Victoria Beckham eats the same thing every day. For 25 years. Grilled fish, steamed veg.

Which is why she keeps that amazing figure. It's not that amazing figure. I mean, it's her. It's what she's dealing with. That's what she's got. But I don't think anybody listening out there should be putting food to one side in an effort to look like Victoria Beckham. You'd be happy with who you are and what you like to eat.

And I like to eat everything. I like to eat pizza. Me too. Yeah. Tell you what I don't like to eat, grilled fish and steamed vegetables. That's boring. Anonymous has called up, probably because the workmates are listening. What does your workmate eat every day, same meal?

She brings to lunch a wholemeal pita with marmite and cheese, and then she toasts it in the toasty maker. Actually, though? Yum. Yum. Yeah, that does sound good, like, because the melted cheese, it'd be like a cheese and white scroll, but it's a pita. You say pita, I say pita.

Which one is it? Pita. Pita. Pita, pita. Yeah, maybe pita. You don't say pita. Besides the point. So she eats this every single day?

Yeah, every single day without fail. And I've worked with her for like four years. I hope for dinner she's adding in some grains. No. No? What do you reckon? She goes home and has another one? I'm not sure.

She lives on her own, so I think she eats, like, eggs on toast and that kind of thing. Fletch lives on his own. I love eggs on toast. Love it. But for breakfast, not dinner. Sometimes I'll do a dinner omelette, though. Oh, I love it. Dinner.

Eggs for dinner. Anonymous. No. Do you want to come over for dinner? No. You okay, Daniel? I'm absolutely fine. He gets a bit lonely.

Anonymous, he gets a bit lonely. Piss off. You okay, buddy? Yeah, I'm fine. Do you want me to order you like a food box or something? I think we should. I think we could all chip in. I think we could all chip in and get him a little something.

I think we could do a work. No, mate. So my friend James, I woke up to a message. He's like, oh, look at this dinner I made. It took an hour and a half. It was one of those food boxes. I'm like, what a waste of time. Oh, it's okay.

I'll do a bulk bake tonight. I'll do a big cottage pie. Nobody's died. It's not like. No, no, no. You're treating me like a widow. Like Terry's died

at the mill or something. Oh, don't pick up Terry now. Oh, come on. It's not the time. We'll talk about it after. I don't want you

getting upset. It's a terrible incident with the sore. We'll take more of your calls next. Long ways or did I get him through the middle?

In half. He was in half. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Long ways or through the get him through the middle? In half. He was in half. That's what I'm saying. Long ways or through the middle? Through the middle. Oh. Well, at least it would have been quicker that way.

R.I.P. Terry. Because you're being sawn in half. Just drop your shepherd's pies off later. Talking about the meals that you eat that are always the same. Victoria Beckham always, apparently, this is according to a podcast. She said it or David? Her husband revealed, I'd be mad if I was her, revealed that she only eats steamed fish and, no, grilled fish and steamed vegetables every day for the last 25 years.

It doesn't have like any sauce on those. No sauce, no butter, no oils, no. Spices. Spices, probably a bit of S&P I'd say. I don't even know because it's about how fussy she is. It's not like I'm watching what I eat. No. That's just all she can.

That's what she says. Some text messages in. I worked with a guy who only ate hot chip and gravy sandwiches on white bread and drank Coke. He did not look well. No. And I bet what, ideally what, he probably didn't smell well either If you followed them To the bathroom I made it high school Every single day

For the five years Of high school For lunch Would have a cheese And spaghetti toasty Every single day Yum Your nutrition value

There is not a lot No So low So low But yum My man I met He was a farmer at the time Every morning for breakfast

A coffee And some honey puffs. Honey puffs? A man? A man eating honey puffs is weird, isn't it? Isn't it weird? It is a little bit weird to see a grown man eating honey puffs. No offense, I just haven't seen it.

Yeah, they're just quite dainty, aren't they? They're a little puffy. They're little sweet honey bees, you know, a little bee character. When I met him, he would also only eat white bread sandwiches for lunch and if he ever cooked, it was nuggies and bacon and eggs for dinner. Not seeing any vegetables. Very few vegetables mentioned. Chicken nuggies.

And I imagine those are just a box of frozen, you know, the blended nuggets where they blend up the whole chuck and then shape it into a nugget form. Bit of foot. Yeah, got a bit of foot in there. The foot's the bloody fibre, mate. I thought, I'm not surviving like this. But now we do eat different meals, but he does stick to a meat and three veg. Right.

So now he's on the veg. Alana, you eat the same thing? I'm super boring. I have the same lunch and the same breakfast every day. Oh, okay. See, breakfast I don't think is unusual. What do you have for breakfast? So it's two slices

of good old Vogel's, one with PICS peanut butter, one with Marmite. Oh! You're a girl with a marmite heart. Which one do you eat first? Usually the peanut butter one.

Oh, crazy! I thought you were going to eat the Marmite. Yeah, I always go, I'm a Vegemite girl, I always go Vegemite and then peanut butter because the peanut butter

coats the mouth too much. Yeah, okay. And what's for lunch? Lunch is pretty similar. So they're like those little rice cake things that you get. Yeah, I love them. They're pretty good. So there's eight of those.

Two with the peanut butter and two with Marmite. And then the other four have like a sun-dried tomato hummus-y thing with cheese, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, basil, salt and pepper. I'm happy to hear some vegetables in there. I got a bit worried for a second. I thought you were going to get scared of yourself. I don't know. It's a lot of that polystyrene.

That stuff tastes like polystyrene to me. You must have floaty poos. I'll watch you down on the coffee. She'll be right. Oh, there you go. Alana, thanks for your call. Some other text messages. You're right there.

Yeah, sorry. I don't have great mic technique. Some other text messages. You're right there. Yeah, sorry. I don't have great mic technique. Some neither. I've been doing this for nearly 20 years. Well, hey. Somebody said, I actually was diagnosed with a phobia of eating the same thing every day.

I don't know what was wrong with me, but I started getting anxiety and I went to a doctor and then I went to a, how do you say this one again? I can't get physiotherapist out of my head. Psychiatrist. Psychiatrist. It's written in front of me, but I'm still struggling to. Psychiatrist.

We went through a whole thing. I kept a journal and it turned out the days where I ate the same thing every day was the days when my anxiety peaked. So they needed variation. Variation, yeah. And they didn't even know it was happening so it wasn't like they were pinned to it but once they identified it as a problem.

C-I-B-O phobia. Kyberphobia or syrophobia is the fear of eating the same food. Because I've heard of phobias of trying different foods. People that have a very limited amount of food that they play around with. But that's interesting.

Actually, no, that's a fear of one specific food or many foods at a time. Oh, wow. Well, good luck with your phobia. I have a food hang-up. I can't deal with other people making sandwiches for me. I just won't eat it if anybody else has made it. It's not that I don't trust them. I just need to see a sandwich.

This is slightly off topic, but I just thought it was worth a mention. Yeah, but that's because I'm on board with that because some people use margarine. Oh, my God. As the chief cook in my house, I'll eat anything that anyone makes me. Because if I eat anything that I don't need to make myself. I love a sandwich. How good is it

when someone else makes you a sandwich? Oh my God. I love when someone makes me a sandwich. Imagine if I said to you right now, hey Vaughan, do you want a sandwich?

I would absolutely say yes please. Same. I wouldn't even ask what's in it. Oh. Unless that was tuna. I'd be like, yeah.

Do you want a punch in the face? Unless that's going to be mixed in with a ton of egg, some mustard and some mayo. Yeah. Have you ever cut a big sandwich with one of those cutting? Did your mum ever have one of those cutting things? Electric cutting things?

Electric knives. Yeah. But you shouldn't use the electric knife with filling inside. Like this. The ones that go back and forth. The carving knives. Yeah. The carving knives.

Yeah. That would destroy a sandwich. Oh, fun. No, they were just for big tough loaves. Yeah, that would get you in trouble. Yeah, use. No, they were just for big tough loaves. Yeah, they weren't to get through. They used that on anything. Or like a mutton roast that your mother had cooked within an inch of being leather.

The powdery lamb. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.