ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 4th February 2022

Episode Date: February 3, 2022

Attractive Traits  Vacuum Theft!  Silly Little Poll!  Friday Rankings!  Sharde's Crypto Journey  LONG WEEKEND GROUP TOOT!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Try their refreshing McCafe ice coffee, available now at Macca's. Sorry, I'm just going to take a seat. We, okay, so. Your mic wasn't in the right place.

I didn't know if it was going to work. We have... Oh, it's going to sit down for a little bit. We have in studio whoopee cushions. So, to be fair, the way that these were introduced to me is I came back from the toilet and they were on my seat as if, oh, I wouldn't see them, but I would just sit down and... Yeah.

Whoopee cushions. But it's been... Do you know what? It has been a little bit funnier than I thought it would be. It's still funny every time we sit down

on that chair. We've been putting double down and so both cheeks are farting in the whoopee cushion. Yeah. You guys keep saying

every time I sit on it though you're like oh queef. I'm like hang on. Why can't mine come from the back as well? Hang on. Not every time. Who from the back as well? Hang on. Not every time.

Who's to say? There was one. Ladies can do multi-farts. There was one where before you worked out how to sit on it and spread the thighs where it came out a little whooshy. And then I accused you of a queef. Yeah, I've worked out my technique. See? When you go slower, listen, you go slower. I've got a real slapper.

Oh, no, hang on. Oh, no. Undeniably. Has there ever been like a whoopee cushion that's been marketed as the queef cushion? Yeah, I'm not sure. The queef cushion. The queef cushion. Anyway, welcome to the podcast.

I think Vaughan's high on pain meds. We're delirious after a long week. It's so fucking hot in here. It's hot in here. No, it's still funny. Farts are funny. Play Zitium's Flet, Vaughan and Hayley Happy Friday, happy long weekend group

Toot day Yeah it's here, it's here baby I'm fizzed Excuse me Vaughan, how have you forgot to whistle? It's here. It's here, baby. I'm fizzed. Excuse me, Vaughn. How have you forgot to whistle? There it is. Oh, that's good. Wasn't that embarrassing before?

Yeah, I know. He can't whistle. I can't whistle. No, he's it. I've got a good strong whistle. Oh, that's just air. Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. How do you ever let the honeys know that they're looking pretty fly as they walk down the street? That's the thing, the honeys never know. They just think I'm wheezing. They think a ranch light has been left a little bit open and the wind's blowing past it. That wind's picked up, hasn't it?

Yeah. Coming up on the show, 8 o'clock, the long weekend group two returns. We've got the top six on the way. Yeah, Otago boys, they're banning cell phones at school. I don't know if you can check them in on the way in and check them out on the way out, or you're just not allowed to bring them. It seems like... They're already banned during class time, which I think most schools would do, right?

You wouldn't be allowed to be on your phone during classes. But your lunch breaks, playtime. Do they still call it playtime? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Playground time. The thing is, when you're at school Playtime. Do they still call it playtime? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Recess. Playground time. Playground time, yeah. The thing is, when you're at school, you don't want to call it playtime because it makes you sound like a kid.

Yeah, but it is totally playtime. But then when you leave and start working, you would do anything for playtime. Oh, you would. I love a bit of playtime. 100%. Yeah. Make sure you go to the jungle gym here. Yeah.

So the top six. The top six things we used to do at school before cell phones. Because everyone's like, oh, no cell phones at school. Like, what will we do? Yeah. That was years one through thirteen for some of us. Alright, it's coming up. Let's go on and Haley's Free Fuel. But leading up

to today's long weekend group two, we're going to give away free fuel every fifteen minutes starting now. And when we say every fifteen, fifteen-ish. Ish. Don't go timing us now. And when we say every 15, 15-ish. Ish. You don't go timing us now. Don't go timing us being all like, you're two minutes late or you're a minute early. 17 minutes 50.

Where are you? Where are you? Close enough. Like an untrusting partner. You said you'd be home in 20 minutes. I'll just leave you dead in the microwave, shall I? The first caller through 0800 dial ZM right now. ZM, good morning. Who's this?

Good morning. It's Chelsea. How's it going? Chelsea! Chelsea! Free fuel. Congratulations. How much are we? $100. We said a three or five hundred. Oh, we didn't check. Was that a three or 500?

500? No. I believe Executive Intern Daniel was holding up one finger for $100. Congratulations, Chelsea. Well done. Thank you so much. I sure hope it wasn't $1. No, it's not.

She did the zeros with the fists. Oh, she did two zeros afterwards. Chelsea, wait there. We'll grab your details. Ms. Warren, would you like to reset the timer please for 15 minutes more free fuel, next on the show Well, speaking of cars

the dirtiest spot in your car has been revealed and it's not where you think it would be This is what we all want to hear this morning as we're in our cars driving off for a busy day. Scientists have revealed that the inside of your car is dirtier than your average toilet seat. I'll stand by that for sure. I've always been a filthy car keeper. Yeah.

My car at the moment, because it's pretty new, is very clean. I did that thing where I'm like, I'll look after you. And then this morning it spilled protein powder all through it. And I was like, well, that's a job for another time. Yeah. I'm a constant car eaterer. So I spill, slop. There's like a Rocky Road ice block dripping down the side of my centre console at the moment.

A lot of crumbs, a lot of pastry flakes. You don't even have kids. No, no, no. When you've got kids, you just blame that all on the kids. Yeah, I think I might put a car seat in the back just to justify it. And then you never go in the back seat, but then when you move that car seat, there's going to be like half a McDonald's

chip under there. And you're like, still good? How'd that get there? Also, you can use the parks too. Yeah, you can. The parents' parks. Yeah, you can. I use them anyway. But they've listed the dirtiest. This is why you need that mum car, because of your big mum energy. I need my big mum energy.

Yeah. I got called a milf the other day. I'm very upset about it. So they've listed the dirtiest parts of your car based on how much and how many different varieties of bacteria they found. Steering wheel, number one, or gear stick. Steering wheel is number six. Is it?

On the list. Did you just call the gear stick a joystick? The joystick. You're using it wrong. You're getting joy out of that. It's up to you. It's up to you. Well, to be honest, it's yours.

You might want to give it a wipe beforehand, though, because it was dirty. The gear stick is third on the list. It's got 407 different bacteria identified. Second on the list. Where your bum 407 different bacteria identified. Second on the list. Where your bum bum goes. The driver's seat. Oh, okay. 649 bacteria identified.

The dirtiest part of your car. Stereo. No. Center console. Mine is. Yeah. But no, not that. The candle.

No. Where you put your arm? No. The armrest? It is your boot. With 1,425 different bacteria identified in your boot. But I don't ride in the boot. Is it because you put your groceries here and you might have a bit of meat juice?

Yeah, I guess so. So to put that in context, 1,425 different bacteria identified. For comparison, 34 different types of bacteria are generally identified on a toilet seat. So, I think that's pretty good. Because toilet seats get cleaned more often,

they're less porous. Yeah. But at least you're like furthest away from the dirtiest part of the car. Yeah, that's true. Unless we're on the way to town and all the seats are taken,

then you have to go in there. You've got to go. Oh, you're getting the bacteria boot. Mine's definitely the centre console because once I couldn't find the, like, lid, you know, the sippy lid adjustment for my Nutribullet, so I just took the big open cup, which is too big for the cup holder.

I just sort of put it in and I was like, that'll be fine. As I drove and I had to, like, brake. Slop, slop, slop. It just went, like, oof, and, oof and like threw like right into the gearbox. Oh, yuck. Yeah, it's gross. So every time you change gear, you get a little sniff of whatever was in that Nutribullet.

Yeah. Old spinach. Gross. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So Long Weekend Group 2 returns at 8 this morning. I'm fizzing. This is my kind of day. Yeah. Give it away, stuff. Toot, toot, toley. It's a long weekend. Group 2 returns at 8 this morning. I'm fizzing. This is my kind of day. Yeah.

Give it away, stuff. Toot, toot, toot. Talking to people all day. This is why I got into the biz. You're very excited. I am. I'm easily excitable, though. I have a cool little study here that looks at the most attractive traits that we see in a partner.

And this is when you've established your relationship. So it's beyond sort of going. Dating. They're a hottie. They're a handsome person. I want to have fun times with them. This is when you're sort of looking to go forward. What do you find most attractive?

We've got the top five. Three of which I don't think are very sexy. Number five, career stability. Oh, okay. Talk dirty to me. You've got a job. Yeah, how long have you been in the job? Yeah. five, career stability. Oh, okay. Talk dirty to me. You've got a job. Yeah, how long have you been in the job? Yeah.

Media, you say. That sounds like a good crumble any moment. What's that? You've quit your job as an accountant and you've got into NFTs. No. Number four on the list, being able to plan ahead. Is that a hot little diary in your hand? Oh.

Oh, what are you doing on Tuesday, February 9th? I am swinging and missing a lot here. Right. Career stability and I have a huge inability to plan ahead. No, but your wife is a big planner. Right. So maybe that's what you found. There only needs one in the relationship.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, because I find two planners. Not too many chefs in the kitchen. Yeah, yeah, that's great. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely yeah yeah good call number three on the list financial security so though there's a so i'm out oh i'll see you guys back at the dugout financial security we love a we love a partner that's got a little bit of money behind them number two intelligence can they hold a conversation well you want someone that gets a wordle in more than four. Oh, my God.

Was it a wordle in five today? It was a hell of a wordle. What did you get? Well, I'm still on my second. Okay, will you talk a bit, Gabriel? Okay, let's, yeah. I haven't finished yet. I've got three green letters.

I'm looking for a net. I had three green letters on word two, and it took me to five, and I could have easily handled it. Were your three green letters the last three? Correct. Yeah. There's so many words that it could be. We did the same second to last one as well.

It's a waste of a word. Hope you don't get dragged into that. All right, number one on the list of most attractive traits that we see in another person is a sense of humour. You've got to be able to laugh. You've got to have a laugh. Sometimes when I, do you ever meet

a truly humourless person and you go, how do you get by? Yeah, well, it's why he doesn't have a partner. It's a bit of a source. You need. No, but you do it every now and then

you meet someone and then later on, I don't think they had a good time and whoever's with them's like, no, no, no, they had a great time. That whoever's with them is like, no, no, it's that. They had a great time. That's them, they just don't have humour in their hearts. There you go.

My grandad was a lot like that. You had to work really hard to get a smile. One of my grandads, you could just like the most humour filled man that maybe ever, but the other guy absolutely the opposite, stoic, old. I'm not even sure if he ever had fun in his life. Right. Is that why you are like you are now?

Because all you wanted to do was entertain him and he never laughed. I tried. Love me. Love the court jester grandfather. Let's burn Hayley's free fuel. All right, free fuel every 15 minutes this morning. 0800 DALS at M right now. The first caller through gets it.

We're going to do this in the build-up to the long weekend group two at 8 o'clock this morning. Very excited about this. All right. Thank you. ZDM, good morning. Thank you. Hello. Fiona.

Fiona, good morning. Fiona, good morning. Fiona, free feel for you. Oh, fantastic. Thank you. You're welcome. So we're going to reset the timer. We'll do that again in another 15 minutes.

And do join us for the long weekend group too, the 8 o'clock. 8 o'clock. Next on the show, the top six. The top six things we used to do at school before phones. As Otago Boys is saying, no phones this year. Not even on break. Nope.

Yep. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello. I've learnt what a rector is today. Alright. It's um...

How'd you learn that? I thought it was a spelling mistake. Okay. I thought they meant director. Oh yeah, or rectum.

But I believe, I, yeah, but then I thought if it was a rector, you would have got rid of that in the modern age given its proximity to the word rect. Oh, yeah, or rectum. But I believe, yeah, but then I thought if it was a rect-or, you would have got rid of that in the modern age, given its proximity to the word rectum. Well, yeah, there's teasing ability there, isn't there? Yeah, it is.

At high school. Because at Otago Boys High School, they have a rect-or called Richard. What does rectum mean? It's like a direct-or. It's literally Latin for ruler. Oh, is it? I think direct-or comes from the same etymology. Is it a religious school?

Because you went to it. Was your school religious, your private school? Yeah, Presbyterian. Okay. I don't know what that is. Well, a rector can be a member of the clergy as of Protestant Epstis, Jeffrey Epstis the Hopple Church. Right.

Yeah, in charge of a parish. It just means like director. A hipster hopple. An Epsticopple. Okay. Yeah, in charge of a parish. It just means like director. A hipster hopple. An ipsy copple. Okay. An ipsy copple. I don't know what that means. But anyway, old Tricky Dicky down there,

who's the rector, said that no more cell phones at Otago Boys. If parents want to contact their children, they can call the school office. Or you get a note. In the old days, you get a note to come to the office because your mum called. And then they just slip you that note.

They learnt that because the first time someone goes into a classroom and said, oh, this note's for Stephen because he needs to go call his mummy. Everybody rips shreds off Stephen. Yeah. And he absolutely begs his mother to never call the school again. Yeah. So laptops are loud. Right.

Because they are learning devices and they use them and they use the internet, but phones were not designed for learning. But you've just got your iCloud, don't you? Yeah. So you can text still. You can use Messenger. Probably still do some communications, but don't tell the rector that. Oh, God, I've given away.

He doesn't know. Sorry, rector. He doesn't need to give away all the clues. But they are hoping to go back to the days before school, before cell phones in school. So not even on your lunch break or your playtime. Nothing. No phones.

Why not on your lunch break? Because they want people to have face-to-face contact. Yeah, they're like, look up, man. Yeah, they've just been in a pandemic for two years. Yeah. They want people to communicate. And so I've delved into my

memory archives to remember what it was like at school before cell phones. Did you not even have an Alcatel at school? An Alcatel OneTouch. The final year of school I got a Motorola silver Motorola. It was a beast. The bullet. The silver bullet. And there

was only about two other people at school with a cell phone, myself and Brooke Sinclair. I remember Brooke, but it was 20 cents a tick, so Brooke only heard from me a couple of times a day. So you had a phone at school, but you couldn't use it? No. It had a game on it, but it was like super, it was like Hangman or something. Oh, okay.

Yeah, I had a Nokia with Snake. 33.10? Yeah. Bricks, absolute bricks. I had a Nokia with Snake. 33.10? Yeah. Bricks. Absolute bricks. I mean, we all got there in the end, but some of us had to start out with a Motorola. But before that,

these are the top six things we used to do at school before phones. Number six. We used to eat our lunch with our mouths closed and our napkins on our lap. How do you do, Dan? It was a different time. Yeah.

We were little gentlemen and little ladies. I'm struggling to say that at Morrinsville College. Yes, I am actually. Flicking out the reusable napkin, wiping your mouth at the end, saying something like, delicious. My compliments to the chef. Yeah, I must say to mother, that sandwich was tops. It was jolly good.

Number five on the list of the top six things we used to do at school before cell phones. Winning. Sully the waters. We used to help the librarian return books according to the Dewey decimal system. We used to say might I assist you

in the book returns? Again, I'm struggling to see this happening at Morrinsville College. And she would say, one book at a time until you earn the right to use the book return trolley. Oh. Oh. Number four on the list of the top six things

we used to do at school before phones came in and made us all cretins. Spend our lunch times picking up rubbish and maintaining the school's perfect reputation People would drive past We'd either not engage with them at all Avoid eye contact Or we would give them a hearty wave

And they would say Don't they represent that school beautifully And this was all before cell phones Where everyone was just looking at their phones and sex talking. Number three on the list of the top six things we used to do at school before phones came along and made us all

trash. We used to help old people cross roads while helping them cross the roads, offered to do any maintenance or chores around the house for free. Sure. Because it was the 90s and there was an era of class about the youth. They weren't all screen addicts with fat thumbs and bent necks.

Number two on the list of the things we used to do at school before phones. Why, at lunchtime, sometimes we'd play sport and be physically active, but all the while maintaining near-perfect personal hygiene and never smelling anything other than angelic. Because we weren't screen-addicted monsters. And number one on the list of the top six things we used to do at school before phones came in and made us all criminals and pee addicts. We used to have a cup of tea and a biscuit with the staff and discuss our future and how best to serve the world

as citizens of the world. What a loser. I know some of your stories from school and it wasn't anything like that. We were actually way worse in the 90s. Before there was something to do to fill your lunchtime, like playing games or socialising, we just sometimes would have fights. Yeah.

For no reason other than there was nothing else to do. That is today's Top 6. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, yesterday, an email was received. This vacuum has been missing for months, removed without permission From reception sometime last year I put notices up on Connect Me

Which is, what is that again? I've never been there I think it's the internal intranet I think it's that place I need to go When I need like payslips and holiday stuff Yeah But it's not And Vaughan always messages me.

How do I get that? I've bookmarked it now. Oh, good. I've bookmarked that page, but I've already forgot my password, so. Yeah, we'll deal with that later. I'll do a reset. It's one of those things

I literally reset my password every time I need to go there. I didn't even know it exists. Apparently on there, I think there's like staff discounts for things. Hey, what? What is this? What?

What is this? How does one access this? Oh, I've forgotten. Don't you just, we're on the Wi-Fi, don't we just type in intranet? No, but connect me, I think it's different.

Oh, look, I don't know. But sometimes they'll be, they might give you like, like a place might do like a free bun or something. Well, I love a free bun. Or a free something. Or 5% off glasses or something. For employees. love a free bun. Or a free something. Or 5% off glasses or something.

For employees. For 5% off. Absolutely. I don't even need glasses, but with 5% off. I want to get a couple of pairs. So yeah, it's on there. So apparently this,

what looks to me like one of those $29 vacuum cleaners from Kmart, apparently it being missing warranted, of course, a company-wide post. Like a lost and found. Who has seen this vacuum? Yeah.

It's gone. And then the email goes on to say, an anonymous source said the words ZDM, confetti, and Fletcher and Vaughan in one sentence. Finally had a clue. It has finally been found, but there will be repercussions for those responsible. Now, hang on.

The vacuum has been found. I have never seen this vacuum cleaner before in my life. Or I've seen it, but it was so non-consequential, I've deleted it from my memory because it's a $29 Kmart vacuum. And the issue is solved. The vacuum has been returned. But it says in the email someone has has fingered us vaughn and i all right and well that's what i'll if you'll please let me continue to read the email chain

i wouldn't steal a vacuum cleaner so disgusting in color when i have a dyson at home how was that for an absolute flex by the way that? That's really going to get you onside. That's a real flex. Vaughn, on the other hand, is a kleptomaniac. I threw Vaughn under the bus. Yes. Then an email comes back from the accuser. Yep. I have it on a very reliable source, whom I believe 100%.

Does confetti not ring a bell to you? Fletch says I refuse to clean anything at work It simply can't be me That's not wrong I would not clean anything at work You're painting quite the picture of yourself Through these emails

I then finally see This, I don't check my work emails Outside of work Because I need my me time I'm here for four hours a day And I think they're pushing their luck with that I don't check my work emails outside of work because I need my me time. Absolutely. You're a family man. I'm here for four hours a day, and I think they're pushing their luck with that. So I'm having my 20 hours of me time a day.

That's fair, that's fair. Oh, I hurt my back from laughing. Oh, no. It pinched again. That'll teach me more me time. I said, look, I'm incapable of cleaning at work or home. Also, my mother raised me to put things back where I found them. I'm sorry, but it wasn't Fletcher Vaughan with the vacuum in the library this time.

Cluedo continues. LOL. Because. Not us. Not us. I stand accused. Wrongly accused of a crime. Didn't, producer Jared, didn't you get the vacuum cleaner after we gave away the secret sound? We popped the cannons. And then didn't you get the vacuum cleaner after we gave away the secret sound? We popped the cannons and then didn't you get a vacuum cleaner?

Yeah, I went and borrowed a vacuum cleaner and then came up and cleaned up all the confetti. But I returned said vacuum cleaner. Did you? But weren't you wearing the Ghostbusters vacuum? No, no. I wasn't allowed the Ghostbusters vacuum. You know, they don't let staff use the Ghostbusters. I've used the Ghostbusters vacuum. Have you? You've't let staff use the Ghostbusters. I've used the Ghostbusters vacuum.

Have you? You've used the back strap. The backpack. Wow. Where you put it on. I love so. If he's the last person on record to have used this. Like, you've just admitted that on air.

Did you see Vaughn or I using the vacuum cleaner? I've never seen you guys lift a finger. There you go. There you go. Carwin, you love true crime podcasts. Now, granted, there's not a white woman missing, so you probably don't care. No.

Imagine. Imagine. What would you, if you listen to enough sort of real life crime, who has the vacuum cleaner? From your experience, what character? I think it was someone not even that's being accused. Oh, you just pushed it away from the whole show. Yeah, you think we're so early in the series

that the real criminal's not even on the radar yet. Yeah, they don't even know this person. Like, you're the obvious choice to pin it on, but the twist at the end is going to be... People think it's us in episode one, and then again in episode five. Yeah. It could even be the CEO in the final episode.

Yeah. It absolutely could be. Let's have the rich get richer. Yeah. They steal vacuums from work. Yeah. Yeah. They steal vacuums from work. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly.

Today's Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Today's Silly Little Pole. Sit on the aisle seat or the window seat? Never the centre seat. Never. We didn't even put that as an option. No one wants to be in. No one wants to be in B or D. What is the middle?

A, B, C, D, R, E. It's been so long since international travel, but I know sometimes there's a J and a K. Domestically, it would be a B and an E. B and an E. B and an E. You don't want to be a B and an E. And they skip them.

They go on big flights. It's like A, B, C, E, F, G, H, J, K, L. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? People don't like the D. No, because the aisle is the D. Oh, right. In case they need to squeeze another seat in one day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? People don't like the D. No, because the aisle is the D. Oh, right. In case I need to squeeze another seat in one day.

Yeah, right. I'm split on this, but the poll that we put up, that was still a little poll, 71% said window seat. Yeah. 29% aisle. I'm split because the aisle, the window's good because if it's a long haul, you get to lean against it. Yep, 100%.

You get to look out and get the view in the gram. You get first picks on the gram shots. But I did once sit on a flight where I was busting to wee and a stranger beside me had fallen asleep. Yeah. And I was locked in and I was so distraught with my internet. That's why I'll go aisle and long haul. Yeah.

Window on domestic. Will you? Because you get to look out. But on a long haul, I'm absolutely fine with an interpelling. That's why I'll go aisle and long haul. Window on domestic. Will you? Because you get to look out. But on a long haul, I'm absolutely fine with an aisle. Because you can even extend a wee leg. You know, every now and then when the carts aren't tripping up and down. You get woken up by the carts

and people going past you. I mean, I go a step further and we book the exit. Pay extra for the exit. You've got a big boy on the hands. You've got a big boy in the hands. You've got a big boy. He needs the exit. If I saw him, I'd be like, oh, this is an exit situation. Because how tall

is your fiancé, Aaron? 6'6". When you check in, do you quite often do that little thing like, oh, I'm big? I'm a big boy. No, we don't risk it. We don't risk it. We prepay for the exit rows because there's some planes that he can't actually origami up enough to fit it. Yeah, right.

Has he ever flown Jetstar? Yeah. Oh, yeah, many times. Yeah. And how did he like the taste of his knees? Gave him a good little lick. Yeah, it's good, though. He's already in the brace position.

Yeah, exactly. Which is safety first. But you're 71% said window seat. Yeah. Feedback? Yes, 71% said window seat. Yeah. Feedback? Yep. Yes, please. On the SU.

Taylor writes, my first long-haul flight, I chose a window seat, 13 hours. For the last three hours, I was vomiting every 45 to 30 minutes, never choosing a window seat again. Oh, because you feel locked in. But then when you're on the aisle,

you've got to get up for everyone. Yeah. All the time. Do you, though? And if it's a long haul, you want to sleep. And if someone wants to get up while you're sleeping. Yeah. All the time. Do you though? And if it's a long haul, you want to sleep. And if someone wants to get up while you're sleeping. Yeah. Yeah, I've got absolutely no problem clambering over somebody if they want to sleep.

And if they're in the world, I'll 100% clamber right over those. You just clamber. I tap and wait. You tap and wait. No, you're waking them up. Yeah, I know. Well, they're going to wake up if I'm sitting astride them. And they're like, who are you? up. Yeah, I know. Well, they're going to wake up if I'm sitting astride them. They're like, who are you?

Yeah. Oh, Gemma. Clever old Gemma's messaged in. International aisle domestic window. That's the Vaughan Smith seating plan. No, I'm always window. Even on a lot? No.

Sophie writes, window. I tend to sleep on planes and I don't want to be disturbed. So if I sleep in the window seat, no one has to climb over me and I don't get hit by people walking past. Yeah, good. Yeah, I'm a little elbow-y on the sleep. So I could like, I always wear a drinks trolley on the elbow. Yeah.

It is good to have a wall, isn't it? It's nice to prop you up. Logan writes, aisle seat for sure. Some form of weird power move knowing no one will wake me up if they need to get up. Oh no, Logan, we've just told you we will be waking you, sir. You're either going to get

an arse in your face or Hayley's tapping you. Yeah. You're waking up. Sinead says, aisle, leg room and quick exit. No one blocking my route

to the bathroom. Yeah. Right, okay. But as you say, the aisle, leg room is temporary because every, you know, you've got to tuck them in. You've got to tuck them in. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. But as you say, the aisle leg room is temporary. Because every, you know, 10 minutes.

You've got to tuck them in. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. A famous mum blogger took to her channel and she was asking teachers if they judge kids based on their names. And she got a whole lot of feedback. And essentially, yes. Yes, they do. They do, right. on their names and she got a whole lot of feedback and essentially yes yes they do

they do right a lot of judgement comes from simple names spelt in an interesting way so Emily spelt Emma hyphen Ellie IGH

isn't this there's also is it Freakonomics is that the Malcolm Gladwell book where he looks into how your child's name will affect it from day one.

Yeah, there's been studies. Before they go to school, before everything. Yeah, for sure. Phoebe, another one. So instead of spelling Phoebe Pohebe, spelling it F-E-E hyphen B-E-E. No. Don't do that to a kid. Well, that's the thing.

Their job application's sitting on someone's desk and it's spelled F-E-E-B-E-E. With a hyphen in the middle. With a hyphen. That's the worst bit. Phoebe. A lot of naughty names come out. Jake, Max and Jack. Hayden and Jayden.

Those are dogs' names. Yeah. Those first three. Didn't your sister have trouble naming her kids? Yeah, she said it was really hard because, yeah, she'd worked in early childhood and so she had a long list of, like, misbehaviors.

Yes. And I honestly think when you're naming your kids, yeah, it's hard. You've got to put the time in. Yeah. It's strange that you associate so much with a name. Hayden and Jayden, naughty. Jessica and Isla, chatty. These are the things that came up.

Martha, high maintenance. Martha? Oh. Yeah. I think it's called Martha. Alexandra can be a bit of a bully. Oh. So teachers do judge their students based on their names.

They hear that, you know, a young Kayden's joining their class and they go. Oh, not another one. Get the padded walls out. So we thought we were going to do the same. We want to know from you teachers out there, do you judge your students based on their names and what are the worst names? Yeah, you've probably had a couple of days back teaching now. You probably have already established in your class this year

the names that are going to be the problem. Absolutely. You get the list day and you go, uh-oh. Maybe you had the same problem naming your own kid as a teacher and you're like, I don't know how I'm going to do this. Yeah. Oh, look, there was one teacher said the funniest pairing they had was a pair of twins

called Denim and Suede. No. Denim and Suede. Wow. Alright, well, 0800Diles.com You can give us a call, teachers. 9696. What are the red flag names when it comes to your students?

We're talking about the red flag names for teachers. What are the names that you hear all the time and associate with D-bag kids? Yeah. This is based on a mum blogger came out and she did a bit of research herself. A lot of Kaydens, a lot of Jaydens, always a naughty boy. Well, she was like, do teachers really judge kids on their names? Yeah, do they? So we asked you the same.

A lot of responses in. Dudes. I taught brothers called Chaos and Havoc. Jeepers. Nice kids. Yeah. But rather full on. I wonder why.

Yeah. You name your kids Chaos and Havoc. Yeah. They're not going to be fans of Havoc and Newsboy back in the day. Super chill. I was going to say Havoc feels normal because we're from New Zealand, but Chaos, Chaos James Brow. Yeah.

Jeepers. You're not giving anyone called Chaos Boy Havoc a job, are you? If they apply for it, right? Yeah. Chaos, can I get you a couple of copies out of these for me? Somebody said, someone else just messaged in, I also had a chaos and he was a real handful. Oh, okay.

That's a nice way of putting it, isn't it? More than one. Courtney, red flag names as a teacher. I really should have probably said anonymous, but you know. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Not your fault, my fault. No, no, RIP me no no no r.i.p me who cares all right go on kindy um so 110 percent like cooper oh yeah really yeah yeah and it's it's just i don't know

what it is and you can't change it by changing the spelling it's still a cooper you know like don't need you instead of another oh is that't change it by changing the spelling. It's still a Cooper, you know? Like, don't say you instead of another O. Is that just sheer volume of Coopers, though? Because it's very popular name. I mean, the thing is that, yeah, percentage of names outweighs the, you know, like, option if they're going to be a cool Cooper or, you know, a difficult Cooper. But, yeah, pretty hard work at times. You've had already two very quick texts in agreeing with you.

Yes, Cooper's a little shit shit and a massive yes to Cooper. Yes. I like that the teachers are bonding this morning. Katie, thank you so much for your call. Anonymous, good morning. Good morning. The names that are red flags for you as a teacher. Luke and Kane.

Oh, Kane. Those are timelessly. Yeah, we're doing the naughty. Naughty, naughty boy. Yeah, I had a naughty's. Oh, Kane. Those are timelessly. Yeah, we're doing the naughty. Naughty, naughty boy. Yeah, I've had a naughty Luke and a naughty Kane. And just angry. They're just always such angry children. Why are they always angry?

I don't know. They just seem to just really struggle with the strong feelings. That is the best description of me as a child. I struggle with my strong feelings. Yeah, they need a lot more love, I think, those children. As hard as they are, they just need that little bit

of extra love just to try and soften them before they go out into the world. Gotcha, so you're saying if you know a Luke or a Cain, they might just need a cuddle. Yeah, just a little bit of love

and a little bit of understanding. I think they've got a lot going on, they seem to. Yeah, right. We've actually heard from a Cain. He said, I'm a Cain, love and a little bit of understanding. I think they've got a lot going on, they seem to. Yeah, right. We've actually heard from a cane. He said, I'm a cane. I was a prick. But I like to think I'm a little bit better now.

Right. People have got cuddles. That's probably why Anonymous sent you. Cuddle cane. Some more messages in. Oscars, Masons, Xaviers, Rockies. I like giving teachers a chance to just completely offload. Xavier.

Yeah, that's got big bad boy energy. Yeah. Well, somebody asked if Xavier fits the bill. Any name that can be spelt with an X or a Z interchangeably. Zachary. Yeah. Zebra. Yeah.

With an X. I don't know if this is legit, but somebody said there was a kid called Shy. Like Cheyenne? Shy. Or like Shiloh. No, just Shy as a first name, and the middle name was Thed. But when you wrote Shy Thed,

it looks like shitehead. What did you do that to a child for? Yeah. What did you do? No. This isn't like the Johnny Cash song, Boy Named Sue, where he called his son Sue because he wasn't going to be around

to make him tough, so he had to make him tough. Right, okay. You called a kid shite-headed. Shite-headed. Don't do that. Work in the health industry. And I have, on my own personal time, compiled a list of most unusual names I've come across.

And this year's leader so far is Devious. Oh, dear. What? There should be... I thought naming... Your name should have to pass a panel. No, but there is a list of names you can't have, like General, Captain and all that kind of stuff.

Yeah, yeah, military titles. It should be bigger. Devious. I thought when people named their dogs Loki, you know, the mischievous character, I thought that was, you know, pushing your luck. But to name your kid devious. It's a no-go for me for Connors, Tobias's and Jackson's.

Okay. Oh, wow. My mum was also a teacher and she picked my sister in my name just because she'd never taught one and there were none at her school. Okay. Zaquecia. She was a really nice kid. She just really struggled to spell her own name until she was about seven.

You're fair enough. There's a lot going on. I'm an adult and I don't think I could spell Zaquecia or whatever it's called. Z-A-Q-U-E-I-E-I-O? E-I-E-I-O? E-I-E-I-O? Z-A-H. Z-A-H-Q-I-S-H-A. Oh, God.

Yeah, somebody else said I had a devious. It was spelled D-E-E-V-U-S. But to be honest, that's probably just how their parents thought devious was spelled. What ever happened to a Joan? Yeah, this is a kid on a personalized plate. What ever happened to a Pat? Yeah, this is a kid not a personalized plate. You know, what ever happened to a Pat? Yeah. A Patricia with a casual Pat.

With a little Pat. Yeah, with a little Pat. J names. We've heard this before. Yeah, a lot of J names. Any name with J. Jade and Jared, Jake, Jacob, Jamie. Just avoid Js altogether.

If you name your kid Hunter or Logan, I can guarantee your kid's going to be a dick at one stage of their life. Logan's out there. If you haven't yet had your dick period, expect it to happen. Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. A number of relationship experts

have given the top five signs that your friendship is not going to make it, not going to last. So friendship with like friends or is this relationship? Friendships. Friendships, okay. What is it? Platonic friendships. Yeah. First, it's consistently

one-sided. They've got to be equal and so if you're like always talking to them and then they... They don't message you first. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

You're always initiating things. That relationship's going to be over. Okay. Don't pursue. Forget about it. The next one, being around that person

makes you feel bad. That's a real red flag. Yeah, I don't... Whenever I'm around this person, I really hate myself. Yeah, don't hang around with people that make you feel bad. So every time you hang up the phone or you drive away from time together and you feel like, ugh.

Drained. That's not a, yeah, nah. Life's too short to get friends like that. Life's way too short and sometimes you hear people talking about someone and they're like, oh, I don't really want to get I'm like, don't then. Cut them loose. Set them free. You don't have to be friends with people.

Don't be mean about it, but at the same time, just let them fade into obscurity. I mean, I think sometimes, you know, you feel a bit drained by a friendship if they need to rely on you, but if it's consistently draining you of your energy, dump them in the trash. The next one, you don't have any real plans to get together. You're constantly like, hey, we should catch up Yeah, those ones

Yeah, I'll text you, I'll text you Friday, Friday Oh, hey, I can't do it anymore Okay Making time together should be easy If it's a real good friendship Otherwise, burn them The next one, they don't celebrate your success

Oh, that's a bit sad Another sign of a toxic friendship is a friend who's just bringing you down. So anytime you do well, it makes them feel bad about themselves. They've got to pull you down. That's hard in New Zealand because we're just kind of built like that, aren't we? We can't really get ahead of yourself. Yeah, I know. You speak for yourself.

Don't you dare speak on my behalf. Yeah. I have a friend who's getting really ripped at the moment. We can't talk. We can't hang out. I'm not happy my behalf. Yeah. I have a friend who's getting really ripped at the moment. Oh, yeah. We can't talk. We can't hang out. I'm not happy for you. Yeah. I preferred it when you were a bit soft.

And the last one, they don't listen to your perspective. A healthy friendship, you should be working through conflicts openly instead of pushing away and pretending it's not there. And if you're having a bit of a disagreement and they're not listening to your side of things, Get rid of them.

Throw them in the trash. I've already made it quite clear that I don't want any more friends. I've got too many. Me neither. And they're all just, you made a new one. It's a remix of the last one. Yeah, exactly. I kind of have your vibe sorted.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Unless you're a better version of that vibe, in which case I'm going to have to cut somebody else loose. Just a swap in, swap out situation. I'm too old to maintain more than 10 friendships. 10? Too much effort.

Way too much effort. Yeah. It's your chance right now to win all things to OPSM up for grabs. We have $250 cash and a $200 OPSM voucher. So we're playing I Spy with famous New Zealand places and landmarks today.

Would you like to take this one being a Wellingtonian? Yes, I will. I'm a proud Wellingtonian, and this is a personal favour of mine. I spy with my Wellington eye, something beginning with B. Oh, easy. ZM's Eye Spy with OPSM. Well, it's your chance to win with OPSM. You can get 30% off lenses when purchased with a frame

and 20% off contacts at OPSM. Offer ends Feb 20. Playing Eye Spy with famous landmarks. Today, Wellington, your home. My hometown. Your hometown, your home city. Shout out. Shout out. Go the Canes.

Welly hard. Welly hard. Good. Yeah, cool, man. Yeah, go. Yep. Natural. Go Lampton Key.

Boy for life. Yeah. Go the Phoenix. Yeah, Phoenix. Boys. Get the boys. Use the boys and the balls. Enter Islander Terminal.

Enter Islander. What up? What up? What up? What up, dear papa? Yeah. And how are you? Oh, Phoenix. Boys, get the boys. Use the boys and the balls. Inter-Islander Terminal. Inter-Islander. What up? What up? What up, dear papa? Yeah. And Hayes. Oh, man, I'm so cubistry. Fidels. Emily.

Emily. I spied with my little eye something beginning with B. What's your guess? The beehive? It seemed obvious, didn't it? Oh, no. It seemed obvious. It seemed obvious. It seemed obvious.

That's not what Hayley's spying. Emily, unfortunately. Let's go to Heidi. Heidi. I spy with my little eye. Something beginning with B. What is it, Heidi? I think it's the stolen and now come back bucket fountain.

Yes. Yes. Yay. Congratulations. Yes. Yay. Congratulations, Heidi. I mean, you just can't go past the bucket fountain. What a fountain. It is amazing. We have for you a $200 OPSM voucher and $250 cash.

Well done. Legends. Thanks, guys. All right. The long weekend group toot is up at 8 o'clock. Next on the show. We are going to partake Friday rankings. Last week, snakes.

What colour, what flavour is the best in a gummy snake? Yeah. This week, the Griffin's Sampler Box. The Vickies that are a bit of a Kiwi summer trad dish. Sledgeborn and Hayley's Free Fuel Salad. And leading up every 15 minutes to the long weekend group tour, Free Fuel, 0800-DARLS-AT-M. If you would like to be the first caller through,

if you can get through, Free Fuel. ZM, good morning. Who's this? It's Katie. Katie, you've done it. Free Fuel. Yay. Will you be joining us for the long weekend group tour at 8?

I would love to, but I've got training at eight. What are you training for? Just general good health. Oh, right. Skip it today. The toot's more important. The toot's very good for your health. Where are you going?

Upper body, lower body? I think it's lower today. Yeah, legs, babe. Get the glutes. Got to get that glute. Got to get that fat dumpy. Got to get that fat dumpy. Pop it. All right that glute. Yeah. Gotta get that fat dumpy. Gotta get that fat dumpy. P-P-Poppers.

All right, well done, Katie. It's the final rankings. Oh, that's terrible. Wow. People thought Hayley could sing, and she has just absolutely proven she cannot. Jared, you have stitched me up here. That was beautiful.

Jared just pointed to me before and got me to sing, it's the final rankings. Didn't give me a key. No backing music. And then said, higher. And I did it at higher. And then said, higher. You didn't give me the context and said you were going to lay it apart.

So that needs some work, doesn't it? I mean, thank you, though. We really appreciate your work. That's great. Jared, we'll work on this for next Friday. It's the final rankings. Last week we ranked a bag of snakes.

Yellow lost, you'd say. Don't even start. Yellow snakes, the worst. We're not going to get back into that. No, no, no. You can hear last week's podcast if you need to. But today, it's the Griffin Sampler Biscuit Box. Yes, let me reintroduce you to the

Griffin Sampler. The biscuits in no particular order. Pink wafer, butter shortbread, toffee pops, dark chocolate whedon, crispy chocolate chippies, choc thins, hundreds and thousands and a chit chat. Discuss. Chit chat, the poor man's Tim Tam.

Yeah. I've got to say, you'd have to be team Arnott's for biscuits, wouldn't you? Like, they've got the Tim Tams. Is this a shoes... Who's got a shoespree? Who's a squiggle? Griffin's beer. He's the beer, right?

Yeah, Griffin's... The Griffin's... Yeah, because the chocolate chips are in here. I don't know who does squiggles. I usually like a chocolate chip biscuit. Who does squiggles? I'm just realising there's not a shoe spree in the Griffin sampler. No, there never has been.

It's too thick a biscuit. You can't put enough in. What? That's the thing. You only get three chit-chats in there because of their thickness. Another thickest biscuit in the world. I'm already out because shoe spree would have been top of the list. That's why you get so many crispies is because they're thin.

They have absolutely zero icing on them. You can put about seven crispies in a sampler. No time for shortbread or crispies. They're the worst. They're the worst. I'd actually chuck them out with the empty box. Okay, let's work our way around then. Shortbread, let's start there.

I love a shortbread, but it's got to be a shortbread you put in your mouth, and that thing immediately turns back into its natural form of butter. Shortbread has to be 90% butter. It's got to be baked by an old lady across the fence who drops it off to you in a sistema with a paper towel and it's boiling hot. This is dry trash. This is trash shortbread.

This is trash shortbread. We all agree this is trash shortbread. Finally, we've come to a consensus on there. Okay, let's move down to the toffee pop, which I think could be the star. Could be the star of the sample. No, you're wrong there, but it's towards the top. It's second for me.

It's second for you. Second, I reckon towards the top. It's second for me. It's second for you. Second. I reckon I'm third. Okay. Third for me. Let's move around then to our dear friend, the chocolate Wheaton. Oh, yum. I love a Wheaton.

It's like a digestive, isn't it? With chocolate on one side. With chocolate on it. Yeah. I'm a fan of them primarily for how much surface area they've got covered in chocolate. Yeah. Yeah. We used to have those growing up as kids a lot.

Yeah. I could eat half a pack of those. Yeah. They're just sort of like dust with chocolate on them. They can get a little in chocolate. Yeah. We used to have those growing up as kids a lot. Yeah. I could eat half a pack of those. Yeah. They're just sort of like dust with chocolate on them. They can get a little bit dry. Yeah. They can get dry, but if we're talking about dry, let's visit the crispy, which will absolutely punish your mouth.

Second to last. Second to last for me too. Second to last for you too. The crispy. Shortbread's last. Shortbread's last for you. Yeah. I'll take it.

That's fair enough. The only thing crispy is good for is to beat up, pour butter on and make a cheesecake. Yeah, cheesecake base. Cheesecake base. Hot plate, but you're not going to get enough on a sampler. But even then, a ginger nut would be better. And I see that's not present either. No, they don't.

Disappointing. Next up, the chocolate chip, which I'm a fan of a chocolate chip cookie, but these are trash chocolate chip cookies. These are trash. These feel like the seconds. These feel like dry old, rubbery old. I'm going to make Bev's Contro, or Sherry's soaked in chocolate chip cookies.

But then you'll need a whole packet of chocolate chips. You could soak broccoli in booze and it would be amazing. You know, like, it's not the biscuit that's doing the heavy lifting. Tell me more about this flambe broccoli that you're inventing on the fly. No, don't flambe because it burns off the alcohol. You want to keep it all there. Oh, okay. So we can agree. No, they're trash.

Chocolate chip biscuits are trash. Third to worst. Okay. So far we're pretty much on an even keel. Choc thins, then make an appearance. I'm a fan of a choc thin.

Yeah, not bad. I prefer a choc thin to a Wheaton. Oh, no. I'm going to go thins after Wheatons. Chocolate on one side, plain dry biscuit on the other.

Yeah, but it's got to be Jaffa thins for me. It's got to be a Jaffa Thin. It can't be just this thing. Okay, next up, the most overrated polystyrene trash. Here we go. Gloves are off. The Hundreds and Thousands biscuit.

It's been nice walking this road with you, Vaughan, but we're diverting on a different track here. I think it's my favourite. Number one. Are you kidding me? It doesn't even have chocolate on it. It doesn't need it. It's this or the toffee pot for me.

I could eat a whole pack of hundreds and thousands. I put the whole biscuit in my mouth and then go, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. But there's nothing to it. What do you mean it doesn't have chocolate on it? It's just a dry old yucky biscuit. It's white chocolate on top. The icing is like a white chocolate icing.

It's too thin. It's not even putting it in appearance. And it's ruined. It's got a texture because of the... I think you're confusing the texture and the colours with some sort of flavour. No. No, there's flavour. It's candy flavour. Why? the... I think you're confusing the texture and the colours with some sort of flavour. No. No, there's flavour. It's candy flavour. Why, the last time I did have some though, I wonder if they've

cut back on the thickness of icing. Do you remember when they did that to the animal biscuits? Yeah. To save money? Yeah. I wonder if they've done that. Keep it thick. Okay, next up. It's the poor cousin to the Tim Tam, the Chit Chat. I mean, it's good. Middle of the road. It's not a Tim Tam. But as far as it goes in the sampler box the Tim Tam, the Chit Chat. Yeah, I mean, it's good.

Middle of the road. Yeah. It's not a Tim Tam. But as far as it goes in the sampler box, that's always the first eaten at our house. Because it's more bang for your buck. It's a total straight chocolate biscuit. Yeah.

Okay, and let's end on what could only be described as the most disgusting invention. Number two. Man has been responsible for the pink wafer with that gross cream in the middle. It is number two on the list. I love a wafer. What don't you love about a sweet, dusty wafer?

Yuck. And some white icing. Yuck. It's middle of the road for me. And the icing in the middle is just filth. What? What is it? What is the stuff in the middle of the plate?

What does it need to be? It's sweet. Sweet goodness. Sweet white goodness. No, it's not for me. Not for me at all. Okay, so where did we end up here? We're really torn, all three of us.

Two of us have voted that Hundreds and Thousands is the number one superior biscuit. I am so disappointed to be part of this trio. What are people messaging in? Oh, I haven't even been caring about their people's opinions. Chit chats. Chit chats. Oh, no, this is just a general chit chat propaganda. Chit chats are better than Tim Tams.

They're not. Stop listening. Do you know what? Happy to lose a listener today. I'll sacrifice one. See you later. No, see you later. See you later, guy.

You can't say chit chats are better than... You're drunk, Tim Tams. You're Tim Tams. It's too early for this. He must be someone that works on big chit chat money. They're on Big Griffin's court. They're on Big Griffin's court. Okay, so...

You're on well. I don't agree with hundreds and thousands being the top. Yep. At all. But if I'm outvoted, I know how democracy works. Yeah. And now I have to go and start an extremist party with wildly opposing views to you

to pick up the minority of people who no longer agree with you based on your biscuit choice. Second biscuit, toffee pop. Yeah. Happy to lock on to Toffee Pop? Yeah, happy to lock that in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Third?

The wafer. No. Chit Chat. Yeah. Chit Chat. No! Chit Chat. I'm happy now because we've got a pretty chocolate heavy top three.

Okay. You can have your rice hundreds and thousands. Yum! Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Let's take a little walk down memory lane. Let's take a little walk down memory lane. Vaughan's got a sore back. I've got a sore back.

And Fletch has given me... No, he hasn't. Fletch hasn't given me these pills. The pharmacist has. And that's it. I definitely did not give you any of my back pills. These are the right ones, isn't it? A little bit woozy.

I love you guys. Yeah, I got to go back. Anyway, it would be a few months ago. Shade and her mother were talking. Now, this can often lead to one of two things a new animal or it's going to cost me some money

sometimes sometimes it's both so anytime you see them having a chit chat you're like okay yeah when they start talking about ideas and I can tell

the old wallet's about to get a punish and so this one involved her brother as well okay and well by goodness me I walked into this conversation.

I think I was barbecuing. I came back in and I'm like, I could just tell. I could feel the energy. Yeah. I was like, what is this now? Yeah. And they were getting a little bit of a chat about how well Reg is doing with crypto. Oh.

Who's Reg? Reg. Reg is, I'll give it to Reg. He does all right for himself. Yeah. But I would imagine we hear more about the times Reg is doing good for himself versus when Reg is, you know, it's this famous, you meet a gambler who's a good gambler.

They don't want to tell you about the times they weren't a good gambler. Yeah. Because that makes them not a good gambler. Yeah. Well, Reg gambles with a thing called life. And his latest moneymaker was crypto. And I rolled my eyes because I've been around these crypto sorts for a little bit. Now these get rich quick scheme, crypto, same people that probably in the 90s thought they were going to make their money on the stock market.

And I've watched it plummet ever since. But they went on and on and they got shown the crypto wallet and all this bullshit. And then at the end of it, Sade's like, I want to give this a go. And I said, this, you always want to give things a go. It's whether or not it's going to get followed through. Reg is going to send us a message to our group every day about the ones he's putting money into. And Reg is doing very well.

And I was like, God damn Reg. Shaliza, I won't put much money into it. I was like, how much? And she's like, what if I start with $200? I said, you will start and end with $200. No more than $200 is going to go. And if Reg is the moneymaker, you're going to make yourself a little bit of pocket money. Otherwise, see and end with $200. No more than $200 is going to go. And if Reg is the moneymaker, you're going to make yourself a little bit of pocket money.

Yeah. Otherwise, see you later, $200. Yeah. So anyway, by the by, the first week there was a bit of checking the wallet and doing a bit of trading and Reg's messages. Yeah. Then old Reg's communications dried up somewhat. I like to imagine Reg is out there somewhere now investing in non-fungible tokens. Oh, God.

Reg has moved on. Did those messages clear up about the time the bottom dropped out of the crypto market? Yeah, I'd say so. There was the first week, how's it going? It's not going great, but you've got to hold in there. That's what Reg said, and I swore, and then I said Reg's name straight after it. Yeah. Ebs and flows. Ebs and flows. Ebs and flows. He's what Ridge said, and I swore, and then I said Ridge's name straight after it. Yeah, straight after my switch.

Ebbs and flows. Ebbs and flows. He's old Ridge piping in now, isn't he? No, I'm just saying. Anyway, forgot about it. Yeah. Yesterday, for some reason, it popped into my head, and I said, how's your crypto going? Silence.

I said, how's your crypto going? And, oh, I don't know. I haven't checked for a while. When did Ridge last message? No reply. I said, I asked when, when did Reginald last message? I'm checking. And?

Not for a long time. Yeah. And I said, well, how much is left? Yeah. How much? How much, how much is left? Yeah. Not much. Oh. How much? I don't want to say.

So I said, look at me. She looked at me and I said, I want you to look at this face and drink in this big I told you so I'm about to give you. How much was left? I told you so. I don't know. She won't tell me. And I can't get into her crypto wallet because it's...

Do you reckon she won't tell you because it's all gone and she's added more? Yes, she could have added more. How do you add crypto? I don't know. I don't know. Top it up. Top it up with a credit card, yeah? Well, someone's about to...

Ow! Hurt their fingers trying to crack their fists and have a look at the credit card statement. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. ZM's Add to Cart. Well, Add to Cart back today and yesterday. What did we give away?

AirPods. We gave away a Wonderboom 2. Apple TV. And the Philips Hue smart lights. Not a bad card. That's worth nearly $1,000. I finished mine yesterday, and I'm pretty excited about it. Your list for Add to Cart.

My list for Add to Cart. Your chance to win that in the coming weeks. Yeah. Today, though, a whole new bunch of items that we're going to add to the cart. So you've got to be listening across the day, now at 8 o'clock. And then we'll do it again with Now at 8 o'clock and then we'll do it again with Georgia at 11, 2 and 4. If you're the first caller through

with Bree and Clint at 5, you win it all. The item we're adding at 8am. Potentially the biggest one we've had yet. It is a Samsung frame TV. I love my frame. That's nice. I love my frame. It's the TV you hang on the wall and it looks like a piece of art when you're not watching

telly and then you turn it on. Yeah, but you let your cat scratch yours. It doesn't scratch it. And also, I can't help it. Every time he sees any bald sport or birds, he's up on it. There you go. Samsung Frame TV. Add that to the list. Friday you go. Samsung Frame TV.

Add that to the list. We are just moments away from the long weekend group two, New Zealand, ahead of the long Waitangi weekend. We need a song that's going to put us in the mood. Flashback Friday. Every Friday we take a pick, take a turn, to pick a song that's at least 10 years old, and it's got to be a banger, something we haven't heard for a while.

You considered a bit of Hootie and the Blowfish and the fray was being tossed around for a while. Yeah, but not quite what we needed today. Hootie and the Blowfish could have been a possibility today, but I might put that in the back pocket for next time. Always got to save a bit of Hootie. I've been on a bit of a 90s buzz lately for two reasons. I'm still absolutely loving the podcast, which is now,

it was 60 songs that explained the 90s. It's now 90 songs that explain the 90s. I told you he should have done that and I knew he... He's a brilliant man. He explains why. He said, when you start out,

you could get cancelled if it doesn't go well. So if I said I was going to do 90 and then only got four and it got cancelled, I'd be too embarrassed to show my face in my room again. Yeah, it was exactly 60.

You're like, oh, four out of 60. So someone said, why not 30? And he's like, well, you can't do 30. It's not like ambitious enough. It's a great podcast.

It's phenomenal. It's so good. Phenomenal. I listen to every single one, but you can't just listen to the ones of the songs you don't like. Oh, yeah, I skip over

the songs I don't like. Yeah, I skip over ones I don't know as much. Oh, no, it gives you a new appreciation for the 90s. What's the other reason? And Yellow Jackets. The show, it's an HBO new appreciation for the 90s. What's the other reason? And Yellow Jackets.

The show, it's an HBO show. It's on Neon. It's set, the first part of it, when they're young. This isn't a spoiler, because it happens in like the first 20 minutes. But they're playing Crashers in the Wilderness. And that happens in 1996. So they keep playing songs from like the 90s in that. On their CD Walkman?

Exquisite. No, no, on the show to like reflect the times. So is this a song from that show? No, but it's a song I stumbled across in my recent, you know, delve back into the 1990s. Okay. I can tell you this was released initially in 1994, and that was just mostly a European release. It saw a more worldwide release in 1996,

where it broke into the US and got into the top five. Okay. Australia, it was eight. New Zealand didn't do that well. Really? You'll know the song. It is from German Eurodance duo La Bouche. Ah!

And it is Sweet Dreams. It's your Friday flashback on Sydney. Sweet dreams of passion through the night. Sweet dreams are taking over. Sweet dreams of dancing through the night. I want to get into motion, a better devotion. So I can make it through the night. So the music is playing, You know what I'm saying Now everything will be alright

Sweet dreams of rhythm and dancing Sweet dreams of passion through the night Sweet dreams are taking over Sweet dreams of dancing through the night Hola, hola, hey Well, I'm as a creation, a better sensation That will lead you through the night When your body's moving, the music is grooving I wanna take you home tonight. Sweet dreams of rhythm and dancing.

Sweet dreams of passion through the night. Sweet dreams are taking over. Sweet dreams of dancing through the night. Oh, oh Sweet dreams of rhythm and dancing Sweet dreams of passion through the night Sweet dreams are taking over Sweet dreams of dancing through the night Sweet dreams of rhythm and dancing Sweet dreams of passion through the night Sweet dreams are taking over

Sweet dreams of dancing through the night As your Friday flashback, LaB Bouche, Sweet Dreams on ZM. What's the list of feedback like, Vaughn? Yas, Vaughn, Yas. It says one, I know there's a Spotify playlist for all your Friday flashbacks, but Vaughn should have his own because he never disappoints. That's horrible. People are absolute kiss-asses, aren't they? Sorry, Vaughn, just awful.

Well, that brought back memories for you, Hayley. Memories are flooding back. My mum, Patsy, was a massive Les Mills pump girl in the 90s. Nothing, that's what you were going to say. My mum was a massive lesbian in the 90s. Well, who's to say? But she used to rock him with her G-string

leotard and her bike shorts. She'd ditch me in the crèche that had a window. Yeah. And I would say they'd be doing their deadies about now. Down and up and up. Come on, Patsy. Ten more kgs on the bar, please. And what, you'd just be pressed against this window staring at your mom? With these, like, G-string butts. Yeah. No matter what. We used to be, like,

vomiting in buckets and she'd never miss a pump class. She'd shove us in the crèche and be like, you're spewing to that. So I dream. Shoulder press. Somebody said it did bring them competition aerobic routines. Oh, it's a good aerobics number. Has Liz Mills Pump been going for that long? Yeah, man.

Even longer than that. Yeah, it's a real 90s vibe. Yeah, right. Patsy still crush a watermelon with her ass? Oh, mate, she's got quads of steel. Yes. The Long Weekend Group Tote. I'm horning, horning, horning, horning.

So horning, I'm horning, horning, horning in the morning. Well, it is here, New Zealand, the first for 2022, The Long Weekend Group Tote. If you are new to the show, new to ZM, we have been doing this forever. 12 years? Yeah, every time there is a long weekend, and you join us,

if you're in traffic, you give us a call and you give us the first part of the long weekend group two, which goes like this. And then somebody else around you, also listening in traffic, finishes off the long weekend group two with... So in a perfect world, it would go like this. It just drags the nation together. It does.

It really does. It's emerging. It does. Now, Vaughn. Speaking. How's your mood today? Because you've got a sore back. You're a little bit agitated.

I'm okay. I'm okay. Vaughn gets grumpy if this doesn't work. I'm like a professional sports person. I'm going to ignore the pain of an injury and probably end my own career. Just push through. Yeah, just push through thinking I'm, you know, stronger than I am and, you know, end up just costing myself years of income.

Yeah, okay. All right, well, if you're in traffic, give us a call. 0800-DARLS-AT-M right now. Where would you like to start, Vaughan? Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi. Or where do you want to start, Vaughan? Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. Hmm. Or where do you want to start? Auckland?

Wellington? What have we got? Well, we've got a... Let's go to Auckland. We've got a fan favourite in Wellington. Oh, it's a Wilson. Okay, we'd better go to Wilson. He's a great opener.

He's an opener. Wilson! Hello. Hello. Good morning. It's been a while since you've sent me a Christmas Penet penetration report, Wilson.

Yes, I'm sorry. I'll hopefully start that soon. Well, yeah, you do like to let us know when Christmas is creeping in, Wilson, but you'd love to give us the first long weekend group to worry about some Wellington, are you? I'm just driving up to the tunnel right now. This could be a great start. This could be a momentous start. Okay, Wilson, when you're ready,

give us the long weekend group tip. Window down, phone out, and toots. Just a bit of traffic. Just a little round of... That's what we want. A little bit of traffic. How's your day been? No time for small chat, Wilson.

Let's get straight into it. Thank you for asking that. It's good. Stop. I've been familiarising myself. Just before we get to the tunnel, just like 10 seconds maybe. Okay, well, it's a bit better. Wilson, stop edging us on this. Let's we get to the tunnel, just like 10 seconds maybe. Okay, well, let's just banter a little bit.

Wilson, stop edging us on this. Let's get straight to the main course. Wilson, what's the day like in Wellington? Is it a good day? Just a bit cloudy. It can't be better. All right. Okay, we're in the tunnel.

Here we go, Wilson. Wilson. Yay! Yay! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Wilson, you crafty son of a gun.

Almost similar. There were a couple of replies there actually. Yeah, quite a few. Yeah, good Wellington on the board. You're proud as well. I'm wiping a tear from my eye. Wellingtonian. We're going to go to Auckland now, and we've got a car full.

Who have we got here? Femke, Scotty, Phoenix and Savannah. You sound like an indie band that's going to play us a folk hit from the Lumineers. I do. Hi. Hi. Hi. Whereabouts in Auckland are you?

Well, before Wilson took forever, we were on Oniwa Road. Oh, bloody Wilson. That would have been perfect, wouldn't it? Okay, whereabouts are you now, though, on the bridge? No, we're just outside Stool and Milford, and I'm just going to stop the car so I cause heaps of traffic. Yes, people love this. Okay, they do love this.

Give us a long weekend group toot. How does it go again? One, two, one, two, three? One, two, three, four. No, that was a vocal response. You can't toot your own horn. No, you definitely can't. You know, that was pretty good for someone who literally said, how does it go again?

They nailed it. Now they're on the rhythm, but no reply in Milford. Well, unfortunately, no. Let's go to Hamilton. Good morning, Portia. Morning. Whereabouts in Hamilton are you? I'm just coming off the Auckland Motorway by Taraha.

I'm alive. Okay. Okay. Give us a long weekend, group two. When you're ready. Okay, here we go. Do you see it? weekend group two when you're ready okay here we go it's very noisy it's a bit noisy and also the end there was a bit skew if i can give it another Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I've got to reply. Oh, no, Portia.

No, Portia. All right, we're going to go now to Steph in Mount Maunganui. Good morning. Good morning, guys and gals. All right, let's have the long weekend group toot. Steph, bring us back. Bring us back. Bring us back to a half. Okay, I am going to do my very best.

I'm just outside the mountain college here, so here goes. Okay. Your rhythm was a bit chunky there. It was a bit chunky there. You got there, though. You got there. You got there. Can I give it one more go?

Yeah, if you want. If you want. Okay. Yes! Steph, you're on the board. Oh, that was good. That felt good. That was really good.

That felt good. It was a story of redemption. It was. Debbie in Hamilton, good morning. Good morning. Whereabouts in the Tron? Actually, just coming up to St. Joseph's School. So there's not too much traffic here at the moment.

So I'm hoping someone will be back. When you say not much traffic, do you mean no cars? Not a lot, no. Deb, we'll put you on hold. We were in traffic before. We'll put you on hold and come back to you. You'll find some traffic. Excellent.

All right, let's go to Ali Christchurch. Whereabouts, Ali? I'm on Tunewe Road, Corobanus Road and Henson Road. Oh, okay. Well, when you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot. Okay, shall I just wait for the lights to change so that traffic builds up again? I reckon just give it a run. Hot guy.

Just go. Yeah, I reckon just go. Give it a runner on Papunui Road. Alrighty, here we go. Yes! And what a cry. Riley, you took your time with it, but you were very purposeful on that horn.

And I think Christchurch had no... My husband's going to be thrilled. They had no option but to reply. I think that could be our new demonstrator, too. That was beautiful. For the next Long Week King group. That was perfect, wasn't it? Absolutely scorched it, Ali.

I'd say tutor of the day. I'm going to put, Ali. I'd say Tudor of the day. I'm going to put a little mark with Soda Nome for Tudor of the day. It's too early yet. Don't go too early. Hayden, also in Christchurch. Good morning. Kia ora, how are you? Kia ora, good, mate.

Whereabouts are you? We're on Brom Street, possibly the busiest street in the whole country. Okay, perfect. Give us a long weekend, Group 2, when you're ready. All right, I'll stick the phone out. Oh, there's a police car. Yeah, they're on board. Oh, that's a lead down.

Yeah, the siren sort of... The siren might have absolutely blocked anybody out. Yeah, have they gone now? Yeah, they're gone. Okay, try again. Go again, go again. Yeah! Yeah!

Christchurch is coming in hot today. I reckon the first one people were just scared because a cop was driving by. Yeah, yeah. No, the cops are on board. We've actually had the New Zealand Police participate. We have, yeah. Legally. Thanks, Hayden. That was fantastic. Wonderful news. We're running. We have, yeah, legally. Thanks, Hayden. That was fantastic.

Wonderful news. We're running four from six, by the way. This is really good. That's really good. Caroline in Auckland, whereabouts? I've picked up Jonah accidentally. Jonah in Morrinsville, I believe. Hello.

Hello. The spiritual birthplace. Are you by a giant cow, Jonah? No. Okay. Piako Road a giant cow, Jonah? No. Okay. Piaco Road. You can probably see it, though. Piaco Road.

Okay, that's the way out there. Oh, Piaco Road. Is there much traffic over Piaco Road this time of day? Yes, a lot. Road work. Road work. Road work. Yes.

Here we go. On Piaco Road, if you're listening, toot back. Give it to us, Jonah. Oh, no. Nothing. Nobody. Oh, no. Nothing.

I'm sorry. I'm disappointed. Let's go again. What? You want to go again? Go again. Okay, go again. Yeah, you get a... Okay, come on.

All right, come on, guys. You ready, Jonah? Yay! Someone did the whole long way. That's bad to you. No, that's not how the really was. They were behind us. They just need to do two toots back. Okay, go again.

Go again. If you're listening in the car behind, you don't need to do the whole thing back. Just the beep beep. Just the beep beep. Okay, go, Jonah. Go, Jonah. Go. thing in the car behind you don't need to do the whole thing back just a bit just a bit okay go jonah no i see the person behind they're doing the same thing you're on you're on it you got two alphas there you got two alphas you can't have two alphas. We can't have two alphas. I don't know if we can accept this.

Oh, come on. I don't think so. It's not the right answer. Okay, one more go. Oh, yes. That was on you that time. That was on you that time. No, it was them.

It was them. Yeah, okay. I'm sorry, but my patience has worn thin. It's an absolute catastrophe in my eyes all this morning. Too many alphas. Too many alphas. Too many them. Yeah, okay. Well, I'm sorry, but my patience has won them. It's an absolute catastrophe in my eyes this morning. Too many alphas. Too many alphas. Too many shares to ruin the suit. Sometimes you've got to learn how to take the back seat, you know, in a situation.

Big problem with people from Morrinsville. They don't know how to shut up. Going to go to Palmy now. Lizzie, good morning. Good morning. All right. Whereabouts in Palmy? I'm just coming down Rangitiki Street, and I'm just about to come to a red light.

Oh. Okay, perfect. All right, well, when you're ready, Lizzie, give us a long weekend group tour in Palmy. Give me a minute. We probably don't have a minute to give you. We're putting him a minute, Lizzie. We're live on national radio. 60 full seconds is a big ask.

Time is money, Lizzie. We are willing to give you a minute if you pay us for it. Ready? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay, Lizzie. Oh, did you hear that one? No.

Go again. Go again. Go again, Lizzie. That person needs to toot back louder. I'll go again. Ready? Yeah. Oh, it's way behind me you can hear it oh yeah you can hear it but we can't oh lizzy now we did pop debbie uh on hold before in traffic dba you in any better traffic uh yeah we just

played that on the bridge and in fairfield okay it was like bottleneck okay give us a long weekend okay for god's sake i don't know if you can hear those no i did somebody reply we couldn't hear it go again now go again now. Go again now. We're obviously on board. Yes. No, someone's just. Multiple replies. Yeah, but someone's being stupid. Someone's just going.

Well, you're not going to accept. Because I heard two. There's someone going crazy. Still tooting. But I heard a distinct other person give a two-tone reply. Yeah, we did get a two-tone. Yeah, I heard a two-tone reply there. Hayley didn't hear that.

I didn't hear that. I didn't hear it. I'm very industry standard headphones. Okay, so. All right, let's go again, Debbie. Let's go again. Okay, okay. Yes!

We'll take it. We'll take it. They're still going. They're still going. I won't let somebody ruin it for us. You're accepting that. We'll accept that, Debbie. Fantastic. All right, Deb.

Thanks for hanging in there. Now, we're going to take a halftime break now for the long weekend group two. What are our stats? We're at five out of nine, so we're rocking just over 50%, which isn't a bad percentage to go in, but, like, to be honest, five at halftime is shy of a record breaker. The long weekend group two show. bad percentage to go in, but like, to be honest, five and a half times shy of a record breaker. The Long Weekend Group Tote. Horning, horning, horning,

horning. So horning. I'm horning, horning, horning in the morning. And let's just check out that leaderboard again out of nine Long Weekend Group Totes so far today. Five achieved. Five achieved. Christchurch, our top city as well in the country. Absolutely. And achieved. Christchurch, our top city

as well in the country. Absolutely. And Ali from Christchurch, tutor of the day. So far, I mean, that is, it's,

you know, anything's possible at this stage. All right, well, let's start in Tauranga. I believe we've got

Lorelei. Good morning. Good morning. And you've got the whole family there. Yes, I've got my kids in the car on our way to school.

I thought you were one of the kids. Yeah, I know. I sound really young. I promise I'm not. I promise you're not. Okay, well, Loralee, with the kids, you've got Noah, Macy, Olive and Molly. Whereabouts are you for those that are around that could help out with the group too? So we're just coming up to the Cambridge Road turnoff in Tauriko on the way to Bethlehem.

Oh, busy. Oh, busy, busy. All right, when you're ready, give us the long weekend group two. All right. No. Should we go one more time? Yeah, I'll give it a go. Yo!

Was that a toot back? That made the baby cry. Oh. Did you get a toot back there? Yes, it sounded like an angry toot coming past us. Was it a toot part? Like, was it toot toot? Because your phone call was just one long, angry tone.

Yeah, it was aggressive. I think it was a long, angry one. Unfortunately, Lolly, we cannot accept that. Sinead and Molly in Christchurch, good morning. Good morning. All right, well, we've had a bit of disappointment, Sinead. We have. You've got to pull us out of this.

All right, whereabouts are you? What location? I'm in the city, so I'm on our mile street, just coming off from Sanmore Road. So I'm just coming to an intersection. Is this Sinead O'Connor? Are you Irish or are you drunk? Or both.

Both. Both? Both. Brilliant. Okay. All right. When you're ready, Sinead, give us a long weekend group toot. Gosh, Sinead, give us a long weekend group toot. Gosh, Sinead.

The guts really falls out of you, eh, doesn't it, when no one toots? Especially when Sinead hit that so with such authority. Sinead, can we go again? Because that was a great toot. A great toot. Might have intimidated them. Okay. Okay.

Come on, New Zealand. It's a simple rhythm. Nothing. Nothing. Sinead and Molly, thank you. We just actually had reports from the Te Riko intersection before. Amy, who was on site, said people were definitely turning back. Lowerly just couldn't hear them. And we couldn't hear them.

This is heartbreaking. Well, as you say, you've got industry standard headphones. Industry standard. These were not cheap. No, okay, okay. Okay. Five from 11. We've now fallen under our 50% mark.

Not how I imagined starting 2022. Mel, good morning in Taupo. Good morning. All right. How do we feel about Taupo? Small towns don't normally deliver. I'm going to be honest. They don't normally deliver for the long weekend group.

They're very... We need them to traffic us fast. We need them to this morning. Yeah, I'm just coming through the Norman Smith Street intersection. I'm just coming up to the roundabout in town. Roundabout's good. Roundabout's good. That's good. When you're ready, give us a long weekend group toot.

Okay. Okay. Yeah! Fletch negged the small towns. He negged them, and so it happened. I got someone to say, I'll show him. I'll show him small town New Zealand toots. I'll show him.

Mel. Well done, Mel. You're on the board. And you take us to six. Successful, too. Good stuff. Back to Wellington. Kim and Zoe, whereabouts?

Hi. We're right in the middle of the basin. Oh, go for it. Oh, perfect, perfect. The world's biggest roundabout. Yeah. Alright, when you're ready. Okay, here we go. New car, so I hope it works. Oh, nice one. Oh, fancy.

Yes! I heard it. I heard that. Industry standard headphones. What kind of new car have you got? It sounded like a European. Is it Fiat? It's a little electric Leaf Generation 2. Oh, necessarily.

That's why the horn is so quiet. You don't want to drain your battery. No, you don't. Very true. All right. I'm surprised it hasn't got a... You squeezed. Dan and Skylar in Rotorua, good morning.

Good morning. All right. How's the traffic around you guys? It's fairly light, but we'll give it a go. Yeah, yeah, I believe, I believe. All right, when you're ready, Dan. Okay, here we go. Are you in a boat?

No, nothing. Well, what kind of car are you driving? That was a very interesting horn. Oh, work van. Oh, work van. Okay. Do we want to go one more time, Dan, just in case? Yeah.

Okay. Fancy car. Let's see if people fly. Okay, fancy car. Yeah. Too fancy. Nothing. You're too fancy.

Too fancy. Too snob. Too fancy. These Aucklanders coming down, buying lake houses, not turning back to the locals. Nothing. You're too fancy. Too snob. Too fancy. These Aucklanders coming down, buying lake houses, not turning back to the locals. Unfortunately. Thank you, Dan Flynn. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. Whereabouts are you? In Invercargill. Oh, nice. Wide streets. The wide streets of Invercargill. Yeah.

Are you old enough to drive? No. Okay. You're giving it a go. Give it a go. It's basically like a go-kart. Just slam it. Slam it now.

All right, Flynn, give us a long weekend group toot when you're ready. When I'm ready? Yeah. Yes. We heard something. We heard something. I heard a reply. I heard a reply.

What? Is there a police chase now? What? You okay? Are you okay? Yeah. Oh, good, good, good. It's laughter.

Oh, good. We thought they'd hit you or something. Yeah. Oh, no. I'm going to round it out. Okay, thanks, guys. Thanks for taking over the driving too, Mum. All right, our last long weekend group tutor. Before we go to our last long weekend group tutor,

Vaughan, what are the stats at? Currently we're sitting at eight toots from 15 to 10. Percentage-wise, that's not bad. It's still over 50%. If we can get nine for 15, that's really... That would be way better. I'd be really happy with that. Chris.

I'm interested. You've said this is our last caller when we usually hit the 20 mark. And I know it's 8.35, but I don't give a goddamn. Chris, the last long weekend group tutor, whereabouts in Christchurch are you? We're just coming down

Harewood Road. Oh, okay. Harewood Road. Plenty of traffic around you? Well, we're about to go into a merge, so if I boost it up a little bit, I might catch the merge.

Yeah, pedal to the middle, mate. Pedal to the middle. Well, obviously safe driving. No, no obviously safe driving no no no no never encourage it was like a zip and i'm like as if getting behind some vin diesel type driving right now i've ruined the bird so we're in all right when you're ready go No. No. One more. Go, yeah. Yes! Claire is down. Yes, yes, yes, Chris.

Nine from 16. What a brilliant effort. So we end up today with a long weekend group, too. Over 50% success rate. Yeah, great percentage. I can't work that out. You can't? Good work, New Zealand, but it's over.

What do you do? Nine divided by 16 times 100. Nine divided by 16 equals times 100. 56.25% today, guys. That's a pretty good turnout. Seas get to grease. That's a pretty good turnout because a lot of people, you know, they're working from home. Yeah, exactly.

Drive safe if you're away this long weekend. Have a lovely weekend. I was going to say ripper of a weekend, and that changed to lovely of a weekend. I'm going to go for a ripper. Are you going to go for a ripper? I'm going to go for a ripper. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Today's fact of the day

Today's fact of the day is The top five Universally appealing smells to humans Oh, I'll go Aviation gas Whiteboard markers, methylated spirits. And lavender.

And potpourri. Oh, and dissolve it, that citrusy removal thing. Bleach. Am I a solvent huffer? I like a bit of bleach. Bit of genola. The morning. It smells clean Yeah

Doesn't it But no But you could Add these scents to Match A blown out match No A blown out match

Do you like that smell Oh my god yes Yeah Firing chemicals My favourite combination Alright Cece Arsonist The arsonist

Who's got a solvent problem I just can't decide what to smell today The school I'm going to burn down Or this silver spray paint bottle I just found Oh yeah, silver's always the best When you see someone with pink you're like, for God's sake Have some class For God's sake, take a look at yourself

Of course we are joking and we do not condone. Don't speak on my behalf. I was doing this thing called balance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course we are joking about solvents and it's horrible. If you guys want to get out of here and sniff your solvents, we better get on with this is all I'm saying. Wow.

That's a first. Vaughn telling us to hurry up. Who's driving this ship now? Sorry, Vaughn. No, no, you're fine. Have your fun. Your father and I are wet. All right.

Give us your fact. It's just that, you know, we both work all day to put food on the table. But if you two just want to talk all through dinner and not eat, then I guess. Okay, I'm eating, I'm eating, I'm eating. I want to be fed. I want to be fed the fact of the day. Well, open up wine. Here it comes.

I've got five, but the number one, the number one most appealing smell across the board for humans. Yeah. Lime. Oh, beautiful. Yeah. Like the citrus. Oh, yeah. Not, beautiful. Yeah. Like the citrus. Oh, yeah.

Not the fertilizer. No, not the fertilizer. No, not lime. That powdered lime. I do love lime. That is a good smell. Yeah. Yeah, beautiful.

Never off-putting it. It's always so fresh. Citrus kind of dominates the smell that people like. Peppermint in at number five. Okay. Is like the herb. But other than that, orange at number four. Just the hit of orange, although

very similar to orange, is that word that I've only ever seen written and I've heard nobody say. Mandarin. Bergamot. Bergamot. Bergamot? Yeah, Bergamot. Okay. Hard tea or soft tea? It looks French. Is it part of the orange family? Bergamot. Well, it's a citrus. It's

very much, yeah, it's like an orange. Okay. Bergamot Well, it's... It's a citrus. It's very much... Yeah, it's like an orange. Okay. But it's like the crinkly guy. Oh, yuck. You know, little wrinkles. Oh, okay. And you'll see it in a lot of perfumes.

Oh, okay. Okay. Grapefruit too. I love grapefruit. The smell of grapefruit. Yeah. But no aviation fuel on that list. No.

That's upsetting. No, no, no, no, no. I love walking to the plane and be like. There's nothing even similar to aviation fuel at all. Okay. In there at all. Right. Not at all.

There's some flowers and stuff in the top 10, but other than that, it's just fruit up top. What flower? What's flowers in the top 10? Mimosa is a flowering tree. That's a drink. I thought that was a drink. It's a brunch thing. Smell of booze in general. That is top of my list. And a flowering tree. That's a drink. I thought that was a drink. It's a brunch thing.

Smell of booze in general. That is top of my list. And a freesia. A cow. No, no, that's a freesian. This is a freesia, the flower. Okay. And a fir tree is a tree.

But anyway, today's fact of the day is the most universally appealing smell to humans is the smell of lime. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. This weekend You've got a wedding to go to And you didn't tell us about this wedding Do you get a plus one? What's the vibe? What's the vibe on this wedding? Do you get a plus one? Can we come?

It's a wedding No you can't Do I know them? No you don't know them Can I come? No Can I come to the reception? I'm such a good date

I'm such a good date You don't like functions I don't But I like food and booze I know you do You know my favourite type of booze? Free booze Free booze Yeah it is good do. You know my favourite type of booze? Free booze. Free booze.

Yeah, it is good. Just taste that sweat, I've done nothing for this. And this is my thing, you know I don't own shirts, Vaughn. No, famously every time you're asked to wear a shirt, you say, well, that's impossible, I don't own a shirt. Because then when I do own a shirt, I either get too fat for it or I chuck it out so I don't have to go to a function with a shirt.

And then when you buy a shirt in a huskier phase and I'm speaking for myself and I'm not saying you're husky although. And then when you get out of the huskier phase you throw the shirt out

as an act of defiance to your huskier self being like I won't be that husky again and then guess what? Guess what's around the corner? The husky phase! I feel like husky

is not the right word. Chubby. I wouldn't be called chubby by you. Husky. I don't think husky means. Husky is nicer than chubby. Warm for the winter. Warm for the winter.

A layer. Husky is nicer than chubby. Husky is nicer than bubbly. Husky isn't what you say if you put on weight. I feel like I've got a little husky. I say husky. No, it's not. I'm in a husky phase. Your voice goes husky. I'm feeling, I got a little husky. I say husky. No, it's not that. I'm in a husky phase.

Your voice goes husky. I'm like the moon. Yeah. Okay, I've got phases and you can almost set your clock by them. Currently, I'm in a husky phase.

I'm trying to get back to the not husky phase. Yeah, I'm in a husky phase. Yeah. I kept all my clothes from the not husky phase. Same. Oh my God,

I can't wait to put those clothes on. I'm just looking at them like, I miss you. There's nothing in the... I'm so sorry. I do occasionally put them on and you're like, whoops, they're not there. Why would you do that? Why would you do that?

I thought I was in the waning phase. I'm not. No, no. So when you have one good day, you're like, I'm going to wear this dress. Oh, I'm not ready. So you've got nothing to wear. So I've got to just go out today. That's my mission is to find something for a summer wedding, which is not

formal formal, but it's not short. I don't think it's short, so I think it's in between. So it'll be like chinos. A chino and a linen shirt. Yeah, but I don't want to look like Richard Branson. Yes, you do. Who's always in a linen shirt. Your hat? That's the only look for men at the moment. Yeah, but have you seen the weather forecast? You can't go

white linen because it could rain. Everyone will see my nips. No, I reckon for you, you love a blue. You love a deep dark blue. Yeah, I'm a blue. I found you a linen navy blue shirt. Yes. Tick that. What are you going to turn that up with on the pants?

Some brown? I was thinking. Some light brown khakis. Sandy. Sandy Chino. Sandy Chino. Brown belt, brown shoe. How big's your head?

I've got a hat that would fit you. Oh. What am I, a Cobra? Because I've got a Cobra that's a little bit too small for me. Well, that might work. If you want linen head? I've got a hat that would fit you. Oh, what a hat. One of my Akubras. Because I've got an Akubra that's a little bit too small for me. Well, that might work. If you want

a shirt, we'll pop behind you an Akubra. Yeah, you'll be making that. Because normally I don't go to weddings that won't let me,

well, they won't let me wear my flexi fit. It's weird to ask you to take it off at our wedding just for the photos. Just for the photos

we just pop that off. And then he popped it back on. Yes. You can hold it in your hand but we'll just pop it behind. Yeah. popped it back on Yes You can hold it in your hand But we'll just pop it behind Yeah

Well my head gets very sunburned So if you go today So you've got today disorder Which is great That you just left it to a busy Friday But if not If I don't Because you know when you try stuff on

You see it on the website You're like And then you don't like it Yeah you don't I'll just say I'm a close contact of someone Yeah I can't make it That's probably the best way

How good's a close contact? I'm feeling a bit of a close contact happening on Tuesday to be fair. You can extend the week. I have a feeling. Make it a longer weekend. I have a feeling I might

sort of brush shoulders with someone this weekend. Oopsie-daisy close contact. Do you want me to come with you to the mall and get you sorted in an outfit? What about a pink shirt?

I have done a salmon. I've famously worn a salmon before. Yeah, a salmon. A deep dark dirty pink. I did get a compliment. What shop? Where were you looking? I was looking at Country Road. Great for the older huskier gentleman. This gentleman

who is modelling clothes is certainly not husky. You were actually inappropriately objectifying him. Show off a little bit. You got a real Cantab vibe. Yeah, man. He's got a bit of dragon boating energy. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like private school dragon boating team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say urban Canterbury, not rural Canterbury. He looks like an urban poloer. Yeah, he went to Christ's and he was the captain of the dragon boating team. And you look at him and you're like, hmm, that's all right. And then he strips down into his jocks and puts on that little hat that they wear when they play water polo. And you're like, damn.

They have done a close up of the t-shirt. But it's actually close up of his bicep. He's got a vein popping. Yeah, okay. It's from all the dragon. It's the dragon boating. The knickers be dropping.