ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 4th May 2022

Episode Date: May 3, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe. Grab any size McCafe coffee for only $4. Conditions apply. Conditions like you've got to be in New Zealand. I don't know what McCafe's doing in bloody Botswana.

I don't know. If you listen to the podcast in Botswana. I've had McDonald's around the world. I went to Rome. I was in Italy. And then me and my mum were Botswana. I've had McDonald's around the world. I went to Rome. I was in Italy. And then me and my mum were like, God, I'm craving a bloody cheeseburger. And we went there. And I've had McDonald's in Hong Kong.

I have it around the world. It's everywhere. Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it? Globalisation. Yeah. Hey, guys, I don't know if you've noticed. I'm wearing jeans. It's the first day of jeans.

You did tell me this this morning. First day of jeans. I've been in jeans for a few weeks. I'm still hanging on to the shorts. We've got shorts. You've been rocking jeans for ages. I'm on jeans. I'm of jeans. You did tell me this this morning. Who saved jeans? I've been in jeans for a few weeks. I'm still hanging on to the shorts. We've got shorts. You've been rocking jeans for ages. I'm on jeans. I'm on jeans.

I'm on boots. Oh, you have. The Tims are out. These will be out till, what's that holiday in October? Labor weekend. Labor weekend. Yeah. And then you switch back to the Birks.

And then back to the Birks. May, yeah. Back to the Birks. Birks and jeans for a little while and then your full shorts burks. I mean, we're speaking to you from Auckland in the upper North Island of New Zealand. And I tell you what, having been to Wellington and Christchurch in recent weeks, we're bloody, we get the warm temperatures longer. Like, geez, like down there I needed jeans.

I know. Well, Carl Wayne at the social media desk said that maybe I've gone a bit early because today I'm out and about running errands and I'm in jeans and maybe I'll get a bit hot. Well, it's dipping lower in like a week and a half's time. I feel all right. A week's time. I will say these are the same jeans that I always wear every season, but I did have to go and get the size up.

And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go and buy them. And then so I've got like three sizes of the same jeans. Yeah, I've got that too. So I can constantly be comfortable no matter what my body's up to. mean when you find a good pair of jeans you gotta buy them yeah the only problem i have is like i'm smaller in the way this is gonna sound like such a brag i'm not trying to i'm smaller in the waist thicker in the thigh and the bum so i always get like you gotta i will say it and if i'm if i'm out of line please correct me but badonk i've got a big badonk now would

you like me to call hr no no no no no he's, no. He's coming. Is that fine? Itty bitty waist and a big... Itty bitty waist and big old badonk. Big old badonk. Okay, okay. I mean, if we're talking about badonks, these new pair of jeans I got. I just, I... For weeks I've been looking at your badonk.

Yeah, it's... Look at that. You've got the subies. They pop the badonk. Yeah, they... Yeah, wow, look at that. I haven't been doing any, like, specialist arse exercises.

I haven't been doing that thing at the gym where you lie on the ground and you do your sexy thrusts. Oh, you know I love my thrusts. Yeah. Love my thrusts. You've got a good ass. Yeah, the jeans are doing a lot of the heavy lifting. Fletch, what are you rocking back there? Well, I've just got my shorts.

He's got a very flat ass. He's got a very flat ass. I know, I've got no ass. We need a little bit more happening there. Not a lot of meat back there. You need to come do some thrusts. You need to come hump the air with a big bar on you. I think I need to hump the air little bit more happening there. Not a lot of meat back there. You need to come do some thrust. You need to come hump the air with a big bar on you. I think I need to hump the air a bit more.

Do I? Is that my problem? A little less actual humping, a little bit more air humping for you, I think. Have you maybe... That's why you should try going on the bottom. Yeah. Oh, no. I'm more on the top.

On the top? Are you a top? Yeah, top. Oh, no. Get on the bottom. You're humping down. You've got to start humping up. Right. If you want the badonk to pop. Okay. That's why you've got a couple of cutie you a top? Yeah, top. Oh, no, get in the bottom. Push ups, you're humping down. You've got to start humping up. Right.

If you're on the badonk to pop. Okay. That's why you've got a couple of cutie patooties right in the studio next year. We're humping up. A couple of bottoms. A couple of bottoms with nice bottoms. Humping down, humping up. You sure you don't want to go to HR?

No, I'm comfortable. I'm great. I mean, if we go to HR, she's in as much trouble as me at this stage. Thanks, Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You two are a bit lost and confused. You also look like twins this morning, by the way.

Oh, thank you. We're both wearing our grey tops. God, Fletch just goes, oh man, it's only Wednesday. And Vaughan very confidently says, no, it's Tuesday. I thought it was only Tuesday. It's Wednesday. Well, good news for you.

No, it's not because I've got so much to do. You're out of time. I'm running out of time. Can we help you? What do you have to do? Should we do a working bee? This garage has got to come down so Earthworks can commence. Right. What do you have to do? Should we do a working bee? I wouldn't know This garage is going to come down

So earthworks can commence Right And I'm just going to like Be tidying up As it gets taken down And it's like a lot Right It's like a lot

Oh she has to do Some actual hard labour Well I'm a trade After all you know She's not used to it I don't clock off After I finish Flapping my gums

With you lot I'm back on the Bloody work site You're on the tools. Yeah. We'll come help you. We'll do a little working bee. Remember, you guys are going to come over to my house this weekend.

For payment? We'll have some Prosecco and then we'll head over to yours. No, I don't think drinking before working with primarily bladed tools is a good idea. A couple of Proseccos before getting on the tools. Absolutely. Did you guys see Scott Morrison on the bloody... What was he wielding? I think he used a band saw and he wasn't wearing any safety gear.

Yeah, like he just hopped in for a photo op and used the saw and everyone was like no goggles, no gloves, nothing. Silly boy. It's the silliest thing he's ever done. Is that what they said? No. He's done a lot of silly things. Alright, coming up on the show the top six. Yeah, there's a new he's ever done. Is that what they said? No. He's done a lot of silly things. All right,

coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, there's a new anti-gang police operation. Right, a unit. A unit, yeah. Now, these always need a neat name.

Yeah. So I've got the top six neat names for the new police unit. Are they going to stop the ram raids? Because there were more yesterday.

The problem is the ram raids aren't gangs. It's teenagers. I thought the gangs were getting the teenagers to do them. Oh, maybe like some initiation.

Hmm. Oh. Yeah. Is that what it's called, initiation? Well, you remember when there was like a problem with people doing skids

and they said, let's build a skid pad then you can do your skids there. Maybe they just need to build a whole lot of doors. Fake malls. Fake malls. Yeah, everybody can get it out of their system.

I'd go down and drive my car through a window. But they're like spongy and made of sugar glass. Well, sugar glass, yes, but you want that authentic smashing and scattering. But you just have to keep rebuilding it. I was entertaining myself yesterday reading the stories about the ram raids about building a fake

Noel Leeming's front in front of a brick wall. It looks like an incredible store with doors and everything and the Noel Leeming sign and you put some iPads in the window. But a foot behind that is a brick wall. I don't even think there need to be real iPads in the window.

No, you have dummy iPads. And then you set up the cameras and you just watch them plough into a brick wall. How funny would that be? It would be funny. I'd laugh. I can see there'd be problems. Like what?

With 13-year-olds smashing into a brick wall and permanently injuring themselves. Yeah, but it's their fault, isn't it? It is their fault. But our health system will still look after them and perhaps for life if they're injured badly enough. Well, it's a good life lesson, Vaughn. Okay.

It's a hard life lesson. I think they need it. This was like when in the 90s everybody was smashing letterboxes, rural letterboxes, so farmers were like setting them in concrete and having like a big letterbox and then putting a thick pipe in the middle and then filling everything around it with concrete. So people would just crack and spill it. Not that that ever happened to me.

Also bring back that TV show where they rigged up the cars to cut out and fill with fog and smoke. We need that stuff back. How good would a show be that just had a bunch of Toyota Aquas around so people were trying to steal from them? Yes. And then they fill it with foam. Yeah.

Disco lights come on. A couple of ideas men here, isn't there? Oh, I love that show. What was that show? The British did it really well, eh? Yeah. I want to say Dom Jolly. Was he the one with the giant Nokia phone?

He'd always use that in the... Yeah. There was one where literally someone got into a car to steal it, the doors locked, they couldn't get out the window, and then they towed

the car up into a truck that was like a mobile jail and drove them around town with a loudspeaker and they were like, we just caught these people stealing a car. Amazing.

So good. All right, the top six coming up on the show, but next... Well, I'm going to tell you what age women decide to stop having bad sex. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Wow, wow, wow. Sorry I interrupted you. How rude of me. A survey has sort of tried to get to the bottom of when women, or those who identify as women, stop settling for less than satisfying sexual encounters. They stop settling for bad sex, basically. And the age that they landed on was 21 years old.

Is that when you met your fiancé? That is when I met her. Oh, okay. Landon and I have stayed there. So the women they surveyed were between the ages of 18 and 45, and 30% of them said it was 21. Right. And that's the largest percentage that sort of agreed on a number.

21 was the years that they just went, I don't want to do that anymore. I'm going to start going for some more enjoyable experiences. But how would they, how do you know? How do they know? How do you know? You've got to have an initial bad encounter to be like, oh, that was bad, I won't go back there again.

But then technically you're not stopping having bad encounters. You're just not going back for a repeat performance of a bad encounter and not taking into account that somebody might learn from the first to better themselves the second. Yeah, but I think they're meaning it's just the age that they kind of draw a line in the sand and seek better experiences. Not that they stop altogether having bad sex because if they remain single or whatever for a number of years,

they're more than likely to have some not so enjoyable times. But that's more the age that they go, I'm going to stop sort of just not thinking about it. Right, right. Maybe offering some constructive criticism. Some constructive criticism. If they're going to stop having bad stuff, they could...

A feedback form. Yeah, yeah. So I've just done the company... Have you guys done the company survey? Yeah. Could be like that. But you didn't put your sexual preferences in there, did you?

Because I didn't see that category. No. I just added it at the end. Is there anything else you'd like the company to know? I said, yes, cis white male. Yeah. Heterosexual. Love a bit of the nipples.

Yeah, love nipple pay. Yeah. Not against a light bit of air, sucking, biting. Yeah, yeah, some nibbling, some neck nibbling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a pinky. And now that I'm 40, willing to try some stuff I wasn't before. Yeah, absolutely.

It's great for the company to know. Yeah, if 20-year-old you had a feedback form. Oh, gosh. Because sorted out things way earlier. Gentle feedback. Yeah, well, constructive criticism. Fragile, very fragile. Yeah.

An ex, a sexpert, says that they reckon it's because 21 is around the age that a lot of people are moving from one stage of life to another. So leaving that sort of wild, late teens, early 20s phase and leaving like university typically, if you're going straight from high school, into like a working life and you're going, oh, I'm more of an adult now. Any sort of like comparison to men?

When men start, or they'll just, any is good. And they'll have it wherever and whenever women in this one and they'll have it wherever and whenever. Any is good they'll have it at all times of the day of all qualities. It's like ice cream you know.

Just lucky to be just grateful for the opportunity. Yeah yeah. Just so thankful to be with someone. Yeah really appreciate this. 12 past 6 next on the show

Well this is wild there's a video that's resurfaced from the 1960s of kids predicting what they think the year 2000 would be like. And they're not that off. Let's get a little bit spooky.

This makes me feel ew. I don't know what it is about clips of like young children talking in the past, in the 1960s about what they think. In black and white? In black and white, yeah. Because they would have only put

the best behaved, well-spoken kids forward. Very well-behaved children, yes. To be filmed by the BBC. Yeah, so this was indeed a BBC science programme called Tomorrow's World. It aired in December 1966. Okay. It took some very well-spoken,

very well-beh very well behaved young children and interviewed them on what they thought the world would look like in the year 2000. Have a listen to some of these opinions. I think I'll probably be in a spaceship to the moon dictating robots to robots

or else I may be having a in charge of a robot court, judging some robots. A robot court? A robot court? I mean, not far off. It's not fair that robots should,

you know, be judged by humans. No, exactly. In a human court of law, robots should be judged by other robots. But then haven't they even said that, like, AI robots can be racist? Probably. Like, yeah. Emb even said that like AI robots can be racist? Probably. They probably, yeah, embedded that chip in them.

I love that he's like, I'm going to be in a spaceship on the moon dictating to the robots on Earth. Good for him. So this was unearthed recently, but these are predictions for the year 2000, not even now. For the year 2000. Some of them are really spooky. One of the boys later in the clip says sheep and and cows and livestock will be kept in, like, battery farms. They won't be allowed to graze on pastures. They'll be kept all in buildings altogether.

You've got another one here. I don't like the idea of sort of getting up and finding you've got a cabbage pill to eat for breakfast or something. So she thinks there won't be any food in the future. But also, like, of all the things to have a pill, it's going to be a cabbage pill to eat for breakfast or something. So she thinks there won't be any food in the future. But also, of all the things to have a pill, it's going to be a cabbage pill. People have cabbage for breakfast, apart from a kimchi, of course, which is... Oh, I love a kimchi. Significantly more than just a cabbage pill.

Absolutely. We still haven't experienced this kimchi omelette that you speak about in Christchurch. Oh, yeah, and cry the kimchi omelette. It's amazing. Another opinion? Well, I think that it'll be so overpopulated that there'll all be wars. All nuclear explosions and everything to make the Earth, you know, too much radiation on it.

It'll become too hot to live on. So this is where it starts to get a little bit correct. So she's going, lots of radiation, lots of wars. The planet's going to be too hot to live on. Everyone's going to have access to bombs. I mean, she's not... They believe. She's 20 years off, but she's not wrong.

Yeah, people are going to be out of work. There's going to be a great population, too many people. And then this boy was like, I think that's something that I would like to get into. Help the population problem. This is in 1966. Boy, oh boy, if you can see it now. Another girl said there's going to be machines everywhere. Everything will be run by machines.

Self-checkouts. Yes. Absolutely happening there. Computers taking over. People, this is a really on the money here. Another girl, I love that they say, a girl with side bangs. Said people in the future won't be able to live in regular houses.

It's going to take up too much room. They'll be in these flats all piled on top of one another. That's happening. That's happening everywhere here now. How do they know all this? Well, I guess it was like in the 60s it was starting. So there would have been apartment buildings starting to be more popular. Oh, God, yeah, and this is in England.

All they had was townhouses. High-rises, yeah. Yeah, all crammed in together there. And then in the 60s, like, radiation and, like, nuclear stuff was kicking off. It was all they talked about. It was all they talked about. Nuclear war was the ever-present threat. Yeah.

Anyway, everyone's in the comments being like, this is too spooky. These kids are creepy. I don't want to listen to them any longer. And they're not wrong. They should catch up with them because they'd all be alive, right? Most of them. Yeah, young in the 60s. They'd be my parents' age. Yeah.

Yeah, they should and see how they how they're feeling about the situation. They probably all have farms with battery cows. Well, actually, I predicted and I've made an absolute fortune. There's a story about Candice Kloss. She's a model

from New York and she, Candice Kloss. She's a model from New York and she... What a name. Candice Kloss. I feel like it's a stage name. Oh, yeah, of course. K-L-O-S-S? Kloss. K-L-O-S-S.

106,000 followers on Instagram. Having a looky? Oh, my lordy. You can kind of see why. She does not want to waste her time. That's why I've got so many followers. Just pure hotness. Your lingerie pics? Yeah. Your lingerie pics?

Yeah. Your lingerie pics, I've told you, they're a real thirst trap. I know. You wouldn't want to put her too close to a fire. Let's put it that way. Do you think some of what she's wearing is part of a Kmart pyjama recall? No, no, I mean her face would melt off. Oh, right, okay.

A lot of plastic. Not the lingerie. No, no. Some of that lingerie would be very flammable. Because is that flammable? Lingerie wouldn't want to get too close to the heater. Oh yeah, it's all polyester or nylon. There's not a lot of silk.

Right. Okay, well with winter coming up, please don't stand too close to the heater. In your knickers. Not in your sexy knickers. No, the elastic, everything about that's quite highly flammable. She said men find not only her body but her intelligence intimidating. And she's been going to extreme lengths to find Mr. Right. She makes them take a written IQ test on the first date.

Oh, so she, I was just because I've Googled this Candice Kloss to look at her. And I will admit I summed her up quite quickly based on her face. Yeah. But she has an extremely high IQ. Really? So she says, because in America, does everyone have to do an IQ test? Yeah, they're not a thing here.

No, because in America, everyone seems to know their IQ. Yeah, I've got this IQ. I've got that. But also, it's very American. It is. Like, in New Zealand, if you're like, oh, yeah, I've got a high IQ, everyone will be like, oh, right, oh, it's time. Okay, then, where's your millions of dollars?

What's a million divided by 76? Yeah. Don't know the answer. Guess that IQ just was bung then. Yeah, it's just not a Kiwi thing. No, it's not. But, yeah, if you were on a date with someone, like a first date, she's like, okay, fill this out.

Fill this out. I'd be like, eh. IQ tests? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it's been years, but I remember doing one online when I first started hearing about IQ being the marker of intelligence. And I was like, I wonder how smart I am.

How dumb were you? Thick. I'm a thickie. When she finished, people showed up at the door to see if she needed help. Yeah, exactly. Took me back to Queen Margaret College. I don't remember much about it. It's like general sort of things, isn't it? But it's weird because I remember we did one

at uni. Yeah. And... Hang on, you went to a polytech. Okay. I did one at the- Did you hear that? He said- I did one when we were studying for our diploma.

I did one at course and- We wrote down the answers. Yeah. And then did it again real quick, got all the right answers, but got a lower score. Oh. How? Did it know we were cheating? Was it like too quick?

You cheated. Well, mum's messaged on the WhatsApp and she said they used to do them at school when they were kids in New Zealand. Really? Yeah.

When did they stop that? So an IQ test consists of taking various tests measuring intelligence including spatial recognition, short-term memory, mathematical ability and analytical thinking.

Spatial recognition. You're too close to me. Well, you're smart. Well, maybe we need to bring this back because people at the checkouts stand too close. Yeah, oh, absolutely. We'll turn around and ask them what their IQ is. God, remember when we had to keep our distance at the supermarket and people would be so close behind you and you'd just turn around and be like.

I still think we should all just keep that far apart oh i know yeah we're all done with the pandemic you're not a touchy i'm all for two meters from strangers from the bustling zm think tank this is the top six hi there and welcome to the top six uh today dealing with names for the new police gang unit. I didn't remember. You just found the news article that said like a couple of years ago this was tried and then it was poo-pooed. Well, they were special tactical units.

They were like SWAT-looking units that had officers going. Then they had those big black SUVs that looked very American. Right. And they were ready to pounce on any crime. And then everyone's like, it's a bit much. It's a bit much. So why now? Are they not having black SUVs?

There's an election next year. Right. And getting tough on crime and gangs is going to be a thing. Right. So call me cynical, but... What do they do with these rad black SUVs? I think they've still got them around. They park them up somewhere.

Yeah. Put a tarp over them. But I think this is a different name for them. Yeah, well, oh, have they got a name? Have they? Because I've got six that they can possibly use. Well, just gang units. Gang units.

Nah, nah, nah. You need to be more specific. Well, let's get started. Number six on the list of the top six names for the new police unit that specialises in gangs. The not-police, just cool young possible gang recruits. Nah, not cops at all. What do you mean?

Nah, we're not cops unit. Yeah, that's good. You've got a say if you're a cop. Yeah. That's a rule. What do they call that? I don't know. The honesty policy.

Honesty is best policy. There was the, if you ask them if they're a cop, they have to tell you, and if they don't, then you can't be criminally charged with anything. That's not it. Wait, so you've got a gun and a pocket full of weed, and if they lie that they're a cop, you're lame. Well, same as like, oh, they can't arrest you if they're not wearing their hat.

Yes. Oh, that was always a good one. They can't give you a ticket if they're not wearing their hat. No, don't tell me. Have your hat on. Hold on. Where's your hat, babe? I can't.

Oh, you can't arrest me? I'm just going to drive off. Just put the hat on because it looks on. Where's your hat, babe? I can't. You can't arrest me. I'm just going to drive off. Just put the hat on because it looks good. It's a good hat. Fits the whole thing. Oh, my God, the police uniform. Well, they're tailored, aren't they? It's a whole uniform.

Oh, I hate the police uniform. The blue pants don't do anybody any favors. The blue pants. Then they updated the polo. Yeah. The light blue polo was daggy. A good set of police arms in those shirts. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, please. Oh, do you love it, man. Yeah, Aaron got into police college and it's such a disappointment that he didn't see it through. Why did he not? Aaron got into police college and he passed the test of the physical and all that. Yeah. And then he got accepted at the same time he got accepted into drama

school and he went that way. Wow. Yeah. We still got the uniform. He wouldn't be Greg Grover from Nova, would he? He'd be Detective Greg Nova. Greg Grover from Nova. Yeah. Detective Grover.

No, he'd be Bruce Reese from the New Zealand Police. Oh, yeah. Hello. Oh, are you here to sell broadband? No, I'm here because your neighbours have reported you're growing marijuana out the back. I'm Greg Reese from the Police. I'm Greg Rees from the police. Number five on the list of the top six names for the New Zealand police gang unit.

Operation Your Nan is going to be so disappointed in you. Oh, yeah. She will be. Nan doesn't want you joining the gang. Mum's got to tell Nan. I know. You know? You're going to have to.

Or when you did something wrong, your parents were like, you're going to have to tell your grandparents because I'm not telling them. I'm not doing it. I'm not telling them what you've done. You need to tell them what you've done. This is on, yeah. And then you tell your grandparents and they'll be like, oh, okay. Or because they're your grandparents.

Yeah. So they're a bit cooler about it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, did you? Silly boy. Number four on the list of the top six names for the new police gang unit, the our body cameras weren't working when we got there, Brigade. Let's just assume the gang headquarters must have had an EMF device

that pulsed and wiped out all the electronics. Because you'll notice our body cameras somehow got switched off just as we arrived. But we got them. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. One fell down the stairs.

One ran into a cupboard. Yeah. But we got them. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. One fell down the stairs. One ran into a cupboard. Yeah. But we got them. Number three on the list of the top six names for the New Zealand police gang units. Operation Stop the Naughty People. Oh, okay. Just nice and simple, that one. Yeah, yeah.

Says what it is. Yeah, totally. Number two on the list of the top six names for the New Zealand police gang unit. The Leather Jacket Wearer Repairer Units. They're repairing the people. Yeah. Repairing the community. Yeah.

Okay. And number one on the list of the top six names of the new Police Gang Unit, the Gang Bang Unit. Because they're exploding the gangs from the inside. So that's like the bang

and then bang. Yeah, right. I could have gone with boom, but it doesn't rhyme with gang. So that's like the bang and then bang. Yeah, right. I could have gone with like boom but it doesn't rhyme with gang so I just thought gang bang. I think it's got a nice sort of punch. Yeah, it's got some

other meanings though. It's got some other meanings. Leather weather repairer wearers. I don't know about that one. Gang bang. Gang bang rolls off the tongue quite honestly. The gang bangers.

Gang bangers. That works for me. Anyone from the New Zealand police listening? I might flick it to the police. Okay, Okay, yeah, right. The gangbangers. Gangbangers. That works for me. Anyone from the New Zealand police listening? I might flick it to the police too. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. It might just hit straight up on there. You know how big these guys are on social? Oh, yeah, they love their social.

You measure that with a TikTok dance. Maybe you could make it da. We are the gangbangers. Yeah. We are the gangbangers. Gonna stop the gangs with some bangs. We are the gang bangers. Gonna stop the gangs with some bangs. We are the gang bangers. That's today's top six.

We've all bought something on Trade Me or Marketplace that we've regretted, and such is the case for a guy in Wisconsin who bought a secondhand, I don't know if that's the right term, a secondhand cockatoo off Craigslist. So that's like, Craigslist is like, we don't really have an equivalent, like Aussie have Gumtree.

Gumtree. And here, I guess just Trade Me, yeah, would be the closest. And he bought this thing. He says he's a very responsible pet owner. He's owned pets in the past. He got this thing and then he shared his experience on TikTok. So this is dumb.

I just bought a cockatoo from a guy on Craigslist and it keeps on making these noises. If you guys know what he's saying, could you tell me? What are you making? Hello, pretty bird. What are you making? Hello, pretty bird. What are you saying? Okay, so if you're listening to that and you don't know what the cockatoo is singing,

this might help. Wait, what? It's like a heavy metal? This is a heavy metal song by Drowning Pool, Let the Bodies Hit the Floor. Oh, it's called Bodies. It's an absolute banger. It's on my gym playlist. Is it?

One, something's wrong with me. It's so good. 2001, and I just looked up the video. It is peak 2001. Oh, my God. I'd say, would you call it new metal? You know, it's not like heavy, heavy metal. It's like that kind of like.

Yeah, it was that weird, really aggressive white male metal. Soul patch. Did it come out when like it was Limp Bizkit season? Limp Bizkit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So this. This cockatoo only knows this song.

So I'm assuming somebody got this cockatoo and then this was their favourite song that they played on loop? Yes, if you watch it on TikTok, he shows a photo of the guy who he bought it off and he's just a metalhead. He's a real dreadlocks, metal tea kind of a guy. It's a really beautiful cockatoo, but it won't stop singing the song. Wow, okay.

So what's he going to do? He just has to put up with it. He's saved the pet. He was like, I can't. I can't get rid of it. Crank it up. So good. Play something more mellow.

I don't know, maybe some Adele? Yeah, some Burt Bacharach. Yeah. Yeah. He only knows Dead Pools. I think it's... Drowning Pools. Drowning Pools?

Drowning Pools. 21 years after its release, if that is still your favourite song, you probably shouldn't be in charge of birds. Oh, I reject that. Or anything. Or have dreads. This is on constant loop on my gym playlist.

Tell you what, this will get you thrusting. Your music taste always surprises me. You'll be like, I came to work this morning. I was listening to some death metal. I was like, what? Oh, my God, do you know what I listened to this morning on the way in? And this will relate to no one who's listening and no one in this room.

New Rammstein album, guys. Rammstein's got a new album. See, I can remember like Rammstein. It is so good. Historic Rammstein around the same time that this would have been big. Maybe a little bit later, but yeah. And then they played a big day out and stuff. They played a big day out and they were awesome.

I don't think I'd need it now. God, your mum must have been so happy when you started listening to My Chemical Romance and Paramore. I know, she was like, what a relief. Something a little bit lighter, something a little bit more poppy. Yeah. There was two of us in the house as well. My brother was a metalhead.

And then we got into this. Well, luckily you dropped the dreadlocks a long time ago. Dropped the dreadlocks, cut them right off. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Hold my hand, it's from the... Fletch, you're still going. Sorry for interrupting

Lady Gaga. Gaga! That song's bloody epic for 7.10 in the morning, isn't it? And you know why? It's for the new Top Gun movie. Oh, it's got real film vibes. It's got that film, you know, flying an F-45. What do they fly? F-45.

F-45. Oh, that's a gym class. Yeah, F-15. Is that a fighter jet? What's a fighter jet? What are the fighter jets in Top Gun? There's an F in there. Fighter jet for sale.

Yes, please. F-35. F-35.. Yes, please. F35. F35. The Lockheed Martin F35 Lightning II. Yeah, there you go. F45 are a gym with burpees. A lot of burpees. F35 I could do because 45 minutes

is too long. 35 is a bit more me. Let's really start on arrival. F35. But then that's probably trademarked. I'll undercut you with F30. What about F30-ish? What about F10? No, I'm going to go straight for F5.

You turn up. F5's the refresh button on your computer. That's how I'm marketing my gym. You turn up. It's a quick refresh. Five burpees. Yeah. Go home.

I'm going to go control alt delete. That's my gym. $28. Control alt delete. Task manager force quit. FQ, force quit. $28 a sesh. Force delete. That's my gym. $28. Task manager, force quit. FQ, force quit. $28 a sesh. Force quit.

That'd be good. After a big weekend, you've got to force quit. You've got to force quit. Close all your windows. Control alt delete, reboot system. Start again. Yeah. Absolutely.

Good. I saw this story. I don't want to dwell on this story. A parent shared a story about how they got a new bus driver and their kids got dropped off in absolutely the wrong spot on the side of State Highway 1. It's a wild ride. And you're just like, holy shit, someone's definitely in a lot of trouble.

But it got me thinking about growing up and always catching the school bus. Yeah. It was a wild place. A crazy place. They literally changed the school bus. Our school bus at Primary School took the same block but they changed directions at one

stage only to get the naughty kids off first. They kind of did a juggle on where the naughty kids lived and then they went that way to get the kids off the bus first because you're on the bus because that way we could have literally walked home in about 15 minutes. We were right on the cusp of even being able to catch the school bus

at mum and dad's place. Right. So we could probably walk home in 15, but because they changed the bus direction, we got the bus home and it would take like 45 minutes. Oh, I would have walked home. Lazy. I can only write it off to laziness.

But it was a wild place where there were too many kids who had just been released from school. They were all charged up. You maybe saw people you didn't see at school. And the older you got, the wilder it got. Like I remember when I was at college and I'd catch the bus home, Sylvia was her name. She drove the bus.

She ran a tight ship. If you sprayed deodorant on, and you would because, man, that school bus stunk because we were all like horned up, sweaty teenagers. The stink was disgusting. Yuck. But she'd stop the bus. She'd stop the bus and get everyone to open all the windows. Oh, really?

She didn't stand for any deodorant. Did you pass a can of Lynx Africa around? No, we weren't. Oh, you weren't deodorized? We were not allowed to put on deodorant. Oh. She liked to sit in the stink She told us when she was allergic to it But I don't know if that's a thing

Yuck Or she just didn't want everyone loading up Yeah, right On Lex Africa At the start of the trip But the single-handedly The wildest thing that ever happened And I feel like this happened

It must have been 30 plus years ago Because I'm 40 now And this happened at primary school Yeah So I feel like we're What's that thing called where you can't be charged? It's not a thing in New Zealand. Statue of limitations. Yeah, that's not a thing, but okay.

I feel like enough time's passed that I can share this story. We had the coolest bus driver, Bob was his name. He was a World War II vet. Aw. He had tattoos on his arms and stuff from like, and we were like, what does that one mean, Bob? And he'd tell us, he'd be like, oh, I went to the war and that was when we were in Egypt,

we got this one. And when we were in the south of France, we got this one. He killed some Nazis. Well, I won't really assume if you've done a few campaigns in different parts of the theater of war. But you want to talk about, we always used to pick field mushrooms from, loved Bob, great guy. Yeah.

Loved mushrooms. The edible kind, not the psychedelic kind. He would eat mushrooms given to him by the kids Bob. Great guy. Yeah. Loved mushrooms. The edible kind, not the psychedelic kind. Wait, he would eat mushrooms given to him by the kids on his school bus? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Shit, yeah. He loved them. What? Raw? Take an ice cream. He'd probably have a bite of one, but he'd take the majority of the mushrooms.

I think this is the start of a magic school bus. Yeah, it is. All right, kids, everybody eat a mushroom. It didn't happen like that. He had an old Bedford bus and we always asked him,

don't you want one of the new buses? And he'd say, I don't like the new buses. He liked to drive the old bus. It's a tank, isn't it? Yeah. And it had a little pop nose on it. Cute as all hell, this bus. We didn't know how lucky we were.

We were driving an absolute piece of engineering. And one of the deals was it had this lever on the side and you pulled it back and the door went clunk, clunk, clunk and opened. Yeah, right. Now, the deal was you were allowed back and the door went, clink, clink, clink, clink, and opened. Yeah, right. Now, the deal was you were allowed to open the door for the kid that got off before you. Oh, that's cute.

So you'd move slowly to the front of the bus and then like someone would get up to get off and you'd move into the front seat. You'd reach around the right-hand side of Bob, click, goes the lever. Now, there was this kid called Ian Gray on the bus. Now, he was a problem. Yep.

Ian Gray, it says it all in the name. He's like, I want to open the door next. He was sitting in that seat up by the bus driver. Equal footing with the bus driver. Probably usually reserved for teachers on school trips. And Bob said, well it's not your turn yet. And he

reached across Bob and flicked the door open while we were driving. Good Lord. Ian. Ian. Ian. Bob was like, whoa. And we swerved off the road onto the grass, back up the road. Boom, boom.

On the camber of the road. Boom, boom. Straight over the other side into the grass. Boom, boom. And then back up onto the road. And then the brakes went on and World War II vet Bob Booker ripped shit out of Ian Gray. He nearly killed us all.

Bob survives several World War II campaigns. Ian nearly killed him. It was nearly taken out on Starkey's Road. Cheapest. In the early 1990s by bloody Ian Gray. Ian Gray. And I just remember everybody was just like dead quiet for the rest of the trip.

Did Bob give him a hiding? No. Because I feel like back in the day you would have been able to. Yeah, clip around the ears. Yeah. He'd seen some things. Oh, yeah, right. Wow, that's wild.

It was wild. And then we lost the rights to open the door. Oh, fair enough. We got those rights. Thanks, Ian. He stripped off us. Thanks, Ian. What are you doing?

Ruining it. I don't know what are you doing now? Oh, the school bus. A lot of fun. I was wondering, stories this morning of your wildest trip on the school bus.

Yeah, the things that went down on the school bus. Passion. We didn't do too much passion because everybody knew each other too well. There was no passion. So much passion.

Maybe you can tell us about that next. We're talking about the wildest things that happened on your school bus and I knew we were going to hear the stories. I absolutely knew it. Like, how many people live in Auckland that weren't born in Auckland?

Like, you moved to the city after you finished your life as a rural kid. So I knew there'd be tons of rural kids with wild yarns about school buses. And not just rural. Urban, some urban. Like, you travelled from Eastbourne into the city every day. Eastbourne into the city every day, there and back. And this was high school, so from 13 to 18. Yeah. And, oh, it was a

wild bus. You had some, you had wild, this was a very hormonal bus. Yes, so we had, it was Queen Margaret College girls, all girls. Yep. Wellington girls college, all girls. And Wellington College, all boys. And we were just, it was an absolute horn fest back there. And I remember I used to like, because I always got on first

because my house was right near the Eastbourne bus depot. So I was one of the first to get on our chairs and I'd go in the back and I would get glam, I'd be dolled up to the nines and I'd hitch my skirt up because my uniform had real long, like embarrassing shame skirts. So I used to roll them up so they're nice and short. And then I can't remember who I liked. I think Dan was his name or something.

We were texting and stuff. Then I gave him a big fat pash on the way to school. You had a morning pash? The morning bus was always quiet and, like, kids were still, like, trying to sneakily eat because they'd run us no eating on the bus. God, no. This was like a community and we're all like, what's going to happen today?

Oh, my God. Yeah, big pashes. Chelsea, what eating on the bus. God, no. This was like a community and we're all like, what's going to happen today? Oh, my God. Yeah, the cashers. Cool that. Chelsea, what happened on the school bus? So while we would go to school, my bus driver was stopping off at random houses. Yeah. And he had like a lunch box full of what I thought was like

wrapped up tinfoil lunch. I was like, why is he dropping off all the lunch to all these random people. Yeah. And when I went home and I told my parents, they were like, oh, no, no, no. Tinnies. No, we think, yeah, we think that, yeah. Anyway, so. He was doing this.

Oh, my God. He was doing the school run and the tinny run. He was doing two jobs, two jobs at once. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. He actually ended up getting like a secondary job where he would look after the PD workers. So along the run, he'd stop and pick up PD workers on the way to school. And put them on the school bus.

Yeah. Why not? Why not? I mean, it sounds very economical, doesn't it? I mean, yeah. He's probably selling them tinnies as well. Absolutely. He's a businessman.

Amazing. Thanks. You called Amanda. What happened on the school bus? Well, we lived out in a rural area in South Auckland, and we had an old Bedford bus as well. Yes. I've just been Googling imaging Bedford buses.

They're absolute classics. Even when they went from the nose to the flat front. Beautiful piece of engineering. Yeah, I reckon. It's a real piece of Kiriana. But I was five years old, sitting on the back of the bus, and I was the last one on the bus,

and I had just started school, so it must have been my first week. In rural areas, everyone knows each other, so the bus driver must have known my parents. And Freddie was, oh, he must have been in his 80s. He was really old. So I was the last kid on the bus, and we get to my bus stop. He turns the bus off, and then he walks, gets out of the seat

with a big Alcathene pipe, walks down to the end of the bus, and he gets the Alcathene pipe and he smacks it on top of the seat in front of me and says, you don't suck your thumb on my bus. What? He's parenting you. Also, I love Alkaffin Pipe as the rural, we used to get smacked with Alkaffin Pipe

as kids. That's the rural the black, thick water pipe. Wow. I love that he had one on the bus just to deal out you know, discipline. And so you didn't suck your thumb on the bus again ever? Hell no. It really freaked me out.

I ran all the way home. But then when I got older, I was quite a naughty kid. And being out in the rural area, you know, all the kids are ragamuffins. And I remember being on the bus and I had a pet possum. And I had it in a box. And someone opened the box and said, what's in here? And they ripped open the box and this possum sunk in. What the hell?

Amanda, you don't put this possum sunk in. What the hell, Amanda? You don't put a possum in a box. And the possum just went animal all inside the box. We were like, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee. Yuck. Oh, yuck. God, Amanda, you were a naughty cat. We were all school kids.

Meanwhile, on your bus, you were just kissing boys. We were kissing boys. I don't know. I love it. It's just in a box too. It's not like in a cage or a cat cage or anything. It's just in a cardboard box. Amanda, thank you for your cool messages and so much trouble on the school bus. Man, there was a rubber seal around the back window

and a couple of guys noticed it was starting to perish so they started picking at it and then pulled it and the back window of the bus fell out and smashed on the road behind us and then everybody just was like, hmm? And like stood up and covered it and the back window of the bus fell out and smashed on the road behind us. And then everybody just was like, hmm? And like stood up and covered it. So the bus driver didn't know. I assume it got reported.

It smashed right on the road in front of a car following us very closely. Oh my God. I was in the last year of primary school. A college kid lit my hair on fire with a lighter on the school bus. Someone said, our bus driver was driving towards a railway crossing and the lights started going and half of the kids were yelling, go, go, go. And half of the kids were like, no, please stop. And she hit it.

And then we went and hit it because, you know, they're always a little bit raised. Hit it, bang. It felt like we got air and then the train flew by behind us. They went to court and lost their job. It was terrifying and they got charged, put in endangerment of a lot of children.

That is crazy. Level crossings are so dangerous. Kai Howell Road in the early 2000s. Everybody on the bus was intermediate aged, so I was about 11 and some lady flashed us from the passenger seat of a trailing car. I still remember them perfectly. As often you will.

Always mooning. Do you remember mooning out the bus? Did you guys used to do that? It was always like something that the bad kid did on a school trip but they always got in trouble.

We were the bad kids. We were going at 100 kilometres an hour on a bus and one of those huge mollyhawk seagulls hit the windscreen. Shattered the windscreen, exploded feathers all through the cabin. It went through the window.

Most of the feathers and everything were all through the cabin. Oh, there's so many, so many great stories. Do you like to share with us? This is hashtag Te Aroha So being from Morrinsville We've got a fierce rivalry With our under the mountain cousins

In Te Aroha On our school bus in Te Aroha There was always a kid That would take a dump In his lunchbox On the way home from school Oh my god My sister is now married to him

What? Often if it's bumpy Oh my God. My sister is now married to him. What? Often if it's bumpy and the roads, rural roads in the Waikato can be bumpy, I'm guessing they were on an old bus as well and it can't get things moving. Oh no. Shaking his turds out. Don't pull on your lunchbox. How do you explain that to your mum?

I can't believe that kid got a wife. He must have had a fantastic glow up. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's Community Notices. I'm just hearing from people that I used to go to school with on the school bus about stuff happens. Tyrone was a school bus monitor. He got booted off and had to cycle to school

because he threw a sandwich at the driver. We've had so many messages. We could have kept going for hours. I think this is that straight up one of my favourite topics that we've done lately. Okay. So much fun. Alright, it's time

for community notices. A segment of the show where we have a look at what's happening around New Zealand according to local

Facebook pages. For you, by you. Okay, for you, by you. Yeah, you see these, screenshot them, send them in to us.

We're just the messenger. Let's pop on to the Mozgiel notice board where Frank has ridden. It's a lovely evening. Any ladies 60 plus feel like some company and maybe sharing a drink on such a lovely evening?

Frank's putting it out there. I like this for Frank. Yeah. Come on, you're Frank. Yeah, like life's short, you know. Frank's out there trying to get it and people are just tagging in their single friends. Oh, lovely. I love that.

I don't know, age appropriate. But if any lady, by the way, can I say, it's nice that Frank said any lady's 60 plus. Yeah. Really, you know, gave a few more details. You think that Frank's like in his 70s or whatever, and we're all grateful that he didn't say ladies 30 plus.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's kind of what I was getting at there. This one from the People's Independent Republic of New Brighton. I would say this is easily the most sent in community notice we've had. Oh, yeah. Like over the last few weeks. So many, everywhere I've received it. Derek, obviously very concerned about a loose dog.

I've just seen a brown labia running down Marine Parade towards the shore. Looks like a're a lab. Anyone missing one? All right, so you're missing a labia. Now, is he specified majora or menorah? He hasn't gone into detail. He didn't say if it was a big one. It was an indoor dog or an outdoor dog.

Yeah, he didn't say. But it is brown, so I guess that's slightly more identifying. Yeah, identifiable. Yeah, I'm not. Some more information needed. Yeah, I think we need more information, please. So what's his autocorrect doing there, eh? Yeah.

Yeah, interesting. Interesting one there. This is a classic situation from the Timaru by South Swap. Dylan's looking to offload his 2002 Skyline, I think. Just serviced. New engine oil, new oil filter,

transmission oil, transmission service kit. You've got air filter, cabin filter, all new spark plugs, brand new battery. Rear brake pads. This sounds like a sensible wagon. Can we see a photo? You can see a photo of Dylan's feet

as he's standing on scales, currently weighing 131.5 kgs. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, he's done that thing where he's accidentally uploaded. He's gone out

and taken photos of his car for the listing, but then also taken photos of him away in. Now, here's what I will say to Dylan.

It looks like your scales are on carpet. You need to put them on. No, no, no, no. Tiles are hard. Yeah. Yeah, don't do it. Make it. Knock a couple off there.

Yeah. Congratulations on your weight loss. Yeah, yeah. Just by weighing yourself on a harder surface, you've absolutely, you've nailed the brief. Shredded. Yeah, good shredding. Good shredding.

And into a veggie grind kit for sale in Taupo. AKA. Yeah, you betcha. You shredding. An indoor veggie growing kit for sale in Taupo. Okay. Yeah, you betcha. You betcha. It's tall. It looks like it's got room for three tomato plants to grow side by side. It's like the height for a tomato plant to grow, you know, to its full five and a half, six foot.

Perfect for a salad. Yeah. You could actually level it, couldn't you? And grow some lettuces. And finally, another one from the People's Independent Republic of New Brighton. Again, I will reiterate, a brown labia is still on the loose. We're hoping to catch it and scan its microchip. Oh, God.

I didn't know you were supposed to get a microchip. Have you been to the vet to get your labia? I haven't had mine microchipped. We would have got it. Get on to that because if you end up in a pound. Oh, I know. Got to be able to identify me. Also, there's a lot of Pavlovirus going around at the moment.

The kennel cough. Oh, I don't want that. Have you had your brown labia? For my labia. I haven't had the shots. It's just a squirt up the nose. Okay. Yeah.

But anyway, that's just a general sort of PSA there. But the People's Independent Republic of New Britain, Kate, posts, to the lady on Estuary Road across from SBS who started sleeping with my partner who lives next door, thank you and good luck. Wow. Thank you and good luck. Oh, that's an airing of the laundry, isn't it? I love that.

Adele's waiting. She said same thing happened to me a couple of years ago. He found her in bed with a MM dude. Munger mop? MM dude a few months later

after she rinsed his bank account and credit cards. So yeah, good luck. Oh wow, it's all going down in New Brighton.

What an exciting place. Those are today's community notices. If you see anything on your local Facebook page, Facebook page, that tickles your fancy, screen cap it and send it to us. We are FVHZM on all social media.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's Star Wars Day, baby! Happy May the 4th. May the force be with you. End of this month, we're getting our Kenobi series. That's Ewan McGregor returning as Obi-Wan Kenobi in the time between the prequels and the original trilogy. I was going to say, you want big Disney money,

but they're taking you to... They're taking me to Disneyland. But also, this is just great because I finally get to talk about Star Wars on air and you're not like... Well, I wouldn't say I'm a Star Wars fan, but I think they're great films, but I don't follow the world.

So they're not in order. They're not linear, are they, in their storytelling? That confuses me. So the original trilogy is in the middle, and then the ones that were in the early 2000s were the prequels, and then we just had the sequels. Oh, I don't know.

So for Star Wars Day today... Yeah, we thought we'd I don't know. So, form Star Wars Day today. Yeah, we thought we'd talk to people who have never seen a Star Wars movie before. Good morning. Tessa, good morning. Good morning. May the force be with you.

Thank you. Thank you. There you go. That's what you say. See, she doesn't care. I love it. That's what they say in the film. What would you say

if I said, hello there? You'll tell it that my husband is British who loves Star Wars and Star Trek, and I can't tell the difference. If I say hello there, you say General Kenobi. That's the rule. Oh, my God. If anyone ever says hello there, you say General Kenobi. That's from the prequels.

All right, so. Such a nerd. Tessa, tell us, explain to us if you can, the general idea of Star Wars. As someone who has never seen a Star Wars movie. Just have a go from what you've seen and characters' names you know. Well, I know

I know there's Luke. And Darth Vader. Luke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Darth Vader. Yeah, Darth Vader. And that's about it. How do they know each other? Well, I know Luke, you're my father.

I mean, Darth Vader says, I'm your father. Oh, he does. Yes, he does. Yes, yes. But that's about it. That's it. Sometimes I think I'm talking about it, but I'm actually talking about Star Trek,

and my husband really does not like that. You're like, so Spock is his father. Yeah, and he's like, beam me up Darth Vader. Live long and prosper. Beam me up, Luke. Yeah, okay. Melissa, good morning.

You've never seen a Star War? Never, ever. Okay, so hang on. You've never seen a Star War? That's the singular of the movie. So we've established all we've got so far from Tessa is that Luke Skywalker is Darth Vader's son. How can you add to your Star Wars universe with your knowledge?

The only thing I know is that Ross from Friends liked Princess Leia. Okay. Don't bring Friends into this. No, this is good. We've got a new character, Princess Leia. Okay. Don't bring Friends into this. No, this is good. We've got a new character, Princess Leia. Okay, Leia. Do you know how Leia fits into the Luke-Darth Vader dynamic? Wouldn't have a clue.

Okay. Okay, do you know what she looks like? What her iconic look was? She's got the white dress with the buns. Yeah, the buns. Now we've got a bit of visual element to Leia. Don't know why, but Chelsea Buns' cinnamon scrolls always make me think of her hairdo. Cinnamon scrolls? Yeah, the buns. Okay, now we've got a bit of visual element to Leia. Don't know why, but Chelsea Buns'

cinnamon scrolls always make me think of her hairdo. Cinnamon scrolls? Yeah, cinnamon scrolls because I love cinnamon scrolls. Do we want to make the connection there?

Leia? No, Rebecca's here to tell us. Rebecca might know. Good morning, Rebecca. Morning. So we've got three characters named out of literally

a cast of thousands across a dozen movies. What can you add to the lore of Star Wars having never seen a Star Wars movie? I know they fight with glow sticks. They fight with glow sticks. Do you know what the glow sticks are called? White Sabers? Now we've got a weapon.

We've got a weapon. We're building. We're building lore. Anything else? There's that man in the furry suit. In the scary suit? Furry or scary? Ewok thing. Chewbacca is not an Ewok. He's a Wookie. A Wookie.

Different. Did he do it all for the Wookie? And do you know who he was with? He was always flying around with? No. No. But we've got another character. Yeah, no, that's good. Yeah, no, we do.

And we've got some props. We've got the glow sticks. Maddie, good morning. Morning. You also have never seen a Star Wars. No, never. You've got to fill in some blanks here. We've got a big Yeti man with a glow stick.

No, Yeti man doesn't have a glow stick. Okay, we've got some glow sticks. We've got Luke, whose dad is Darth, and there's Leia in there, and she's got cinnamon scrolls on her ears. They're not on Earth. They're not on Earth! Yeah!

Space, baby! Yes, anything else? Anything else you can add? No. Do you know anything about the robots in the film? There are some more I can't... Is it E2? No.

E2? That's an energy drink, isn't it? That was the energy drink, yeah. You're thinking of E.T.? No. The E2 is the alien. E2 is the energy drink. What's the little...

C3PO. C3PO is the big golden one. Yeah. R2D2 is the little blue and white one. Are you thinking of R2D2? Yeah. Yeah, no, brilliant. Okay, finally, Willow, you've never seen a Star War?

Never. Okay, can you add anything? I haven't learned so much this morning just from listening to those other people. You've basically seen all 12 films. Jim and Mac, let's go and watch some movies. I'm pretty much, I'm a pro now, and I never once, like, is that the one that has writing

that goes up front at the beginning? Yes! The writing that goes up at the beginning! It tells a story. A little forward. In a galaxy far, far away. Now, no one's mentioned, mentioned no one has

one particular character. Yeah. Yogi. Yoda. Yogi. Yoda, because of course now everybody's like, gateway drug to Star Wars was Baby Yoda from The Mandalorian. Oh, you're very cute.

How many people were just like, oh yeah, I could probably get into it now? Do you know Yoda? No. What about Baby? I was listening to the people prior, and they're talking about some robot, and I was like, isn't that the guy on the live? And I was like, no, no, that's Short Circuit.

Oh, 25 is alive. 25 was a robot. Amazing. But a different robot. I think a lot of us have learned a lot today. So based on that... You guys have got so much to learn. Born, based on what we've learnt from our callers, can you

give us the rundown based on their information of Star Wars? A quick summation. A quick synopsis with the information we've been given from our callers. This is their movie. That Luke Skywalker's father is Darth Vader. This doesn't cover

any prequel by the way. This doesn't address Anakin Skywalker whatsoever. In a galaxy, once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away. Anakin Skywalker was corrupted by the Sith.

He was the chosen one to bring balance to the force. No, you missed the brief. What? Oh, okay. In a galaxy far, far away. Darth Vader's son is Luke Skywalker.

Leia wears a white dress with buns on her head. There's big hairy dudes called Wookiees. There's little hairy dudes called Ewoks. And there's robots. And there's glow sticks. And they fight with glow sticks. Sounds like a movie I want to see. Yeah. Silly Little Pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole.

Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Today, Silly Little Pole, do you wave a thank you to cars that stop for you at a crossing? And I've spoken about this at great length before. Something I'm very passionate about. If you don't wave at me when I've stopped for you, I will toot.

And then be like, huh? Something you would like to say to me? I also do this, I figured out yesterday at the gym, I do this not just giving away in the car, but giving away in the stairwell. At the gym,

going down to the changing rooms and you've got to sort of stop and make way for people. It's too narrow at our gym. Our gym has like a one person per stairwell. I stopped yesterday, shoved myself in the corner, delayed my day by 10 seconds, let three people pass.

One, two, three, not a single one. I turned and I said, you're all welcome. And I left. Like, I cannot stand it. I cannot stand it. I have delayed my day for you. The least you can do is acknowledge me. I just give like a little nod or a little thanks.

Yeah. When that happens. Thank you. Thank you. That's all you have to do. Awkward silence. I stopped at a non-pedestrian crossing To let someone pass

Because they were like Looking all frazzled and stuff And I was like Well I'll let them over And then I thought This frazzled person Will be so thankful For this charitable time

I've given Nothing Nothing Did you hit the horn? Nothing I was just like Hello Well you should have done

What Hayley does And just toot Toot toot And then give your attention Too frazzled for a surprise beep. Oh, okay. Bad day. Very, very resounding poll result.

Yes, of course. 94%. Well, you must be the people that I don't stop for. I must be getting the 6% that say, nah, I don't stop for a wave. Some feedback. Nixie says, because it's the polite thing to do. Yeah. That's right, Nixie.

Megan says, thought of this today when I was crossing the road, a guy crossing just in front of me and already did the wave. So he led the way and I've done the wave, but I was thinking about, do I still have to wave? In case the driver is Hayley Sproul, who will then toot at me. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I had to check that I wasn't missing something about this.

Yeah. But there's something that started popping up again fashion-wise, which I'm wildly out of time with. Yeah, Vaughn, don't be so hard on yourself. You've got your new Subis. Yeah. Don't his new Subis look good? And you've got your Birkenstocks and your Subis. Yeah.

You're a trendy dad. No, no, no, no. That's just a plant. To me, that's just like, that's very run-of-the-mill. It's established. It's settled and it's timeless. Sandals, jeans. There's only four holes in that T-shirt.

Have you smelled bats? How do they get holes up here? There's little holes. How do you get those little t-shirt holes? I don't know. I think just old t-shirts. I get little t-shirt holes down here because it gets caught on the belt. You puke.

It's your bristly pubes. After I've gone to the toilet. I reckon it's your bristly pubes piercing through the fabric. There's no bristly pubes piercing through. Then you take this fashion and then you put a Pikachu backpack on and you leave and it's undone. Yeah. But then I've seen lately popping up the return of the shell necklace.

Far out. And I don't know, it made me feel old because I remember my parents saying in like the 90s, oh, those were cool when we were kids. Yes. Like when flared jeans made a comeback in the late 90s. I remember my parents being like, those were cool when we were kids. Yes. Like when flared jeans made a comeback in the late 90s. Yeah. My parents were like, those were cool when we were kids. Like, gosh, be quiet, old people.

The fashion now, the baggy jeans. It's all back. That was like kind of early 2000s, right? Yeah, late 90s, early 2000s. Cargo pants. I saw a kid the other day when I was leaving work here and they were standing outside and I was like, that kid could literally have gone to high school with me

dressed like that and no one would have batted an eyelid. Yeah. I've heard so many people say things like that. Like, oh my God, it's like a blast from the past. Yeah. Like watching that Woodstock 99 documentary. Yeah. Everybody's just dressing like that again, basically.

Like all the girls are wearing like the big baggy hoodies and baggy jeans and tiny little crop top, little like butterfly clips in their hair, shell necklace. Not a lot of makeup. What was the one that was, I reckon it's going to be next, the halter neck. That top that came down on straps.

No, they're back, bro. Are they already back? They're back. I should have bought stocks and halterneck.com. Crops and like spirally mesh tops but I tell you what, how long have you relentlessly

mocked me for? the shell necklace because there's some photos of early back when we started working together where I think I had one on in a photo we started working together in April and I think that summer of April, summer 03, 04,

was your, like, you were hot into the shell necklace. Oh my God. Maybe it started easing off. No, I was a goth 2003, 2004. But everybody had them. No, I think you were a little bit late. A lot of people had them.

In the 90s, the shell necklace was rocking. No, you're forgetting the Jack Johnson influence. Because I remember my brother would have... I'm a Jack Johnson. That's him. My brother would have skatey jeans, etnies, a Planet 8 hoodie, and then a key chain, a wallet chain. Of course, always a wallet chain.

And then a shell necklace. Wallet chains are back now too. Shell necklace. And I remember when he got a shell necklace and I looked at my brother, he had frosted tips, and I was like, man, my brother's cool, man. Like, he's cool. I didn't realise my brother was so cool.

The outfit you just described, I remember not the shell necklace being teamed with it, but that weird, like, metal-linked... Like pewter? Yeah, and it was like peas, like beads, like steel. But they were, like, metal. Yeah. Yeah, I had one of those too.

How was your plug attached to the plug chain. Yes. That little thing there that gripped around the ball. Yeah. But you have always relentlessly mocked. I just tried to find the OG photo of Fletch with spiky, and not spiky, like individually twisted spiked. Yeah.

With the shell necklace. A lot of fudge in those spikes. Can't wait until the social media has done a dramatic reenactment of me wearing a shell necklace in modern times. Because we couldn't find the old one. Because we couldn't find the old one. I think you could do it. I think as a fashion warning,

I want to say to people now that may be engaging in shell necklaces, don't do it because you'll be relentlessly mocked for the next decade or more until they come back again. That's your fashion warning? That is my fashion warning now for people listening. My fashion warning is the hipster gene. Why is that back? Were they the low-riding gene?

Low-riding so much you've got your G-banger out the back, almost your pubes out the front. I never had enough low body fat to pull that off. I was just going to say, did muffin tops not exist in the 90s? Yeah, I muffed pretty hard. When I went skinny jeans, I muffed pretty hard. But like real low, like on the hip bones. Yeah, no, I never wore them that low.

Only skinny people can pull that off. No, that's my fashion warning, guys. When you can see a bit of butt, like a bit of a crack at the top. Crack at the top, or whale's tail we used to call it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's your G-banger. Even just looking back at photos of all of us

that come up in memories of us wearing baggy jeans, I'm like, what were we thinking? And I thought, could we do this now? What is your fashion warning? Like when you see people or you look back at photos of yourself now from maybe your teenage years or 20s And you're like

Don't do that Don't do that What were we thinking? No matter what generation you're from as well Because people from the 80s as well would be like Guys, don't, you know, perm your hair I know We don't need to be perming anymore

I know you see pictures of your parents Or like from the 80s Thin brows? Tell me thin brows aren't coming back Yeah This took you're just like, Thin brows? Tell me thin brows aren't coming back. Yeah. This took me years to recover them.

Thin brows were the brow in the 90s. I got mine done when I was 12 because I've always had bushy brows and I was so embarrassed. Got them done pencil thin,

like by a professional, pencil thin. And I remember I went to intermediate the next day and my teacher literally saw me and went,

whoa! They were so thin. Alright, well, 0800DARLS at M. We want to take your calls now. Text as well, 9696. What is your fashion warning? Yeah. How good were baggy jeans with frayed around the bottom and they were always a bit wet? Oh my god, they got under your

shoes? Yeah, they were always a bit wet! To avoid from past us, who were there the first time? How many people do you reckon are rocking around now With a nick in their eyebrow from their eyebrow piercing? Oh yes You know that they're all like

God that hair just doesn't grow back on that scar does it? No it doesn't Same with the nipple piercing by the way The nipple's never the same Yes Well yeah you could end up with a crater If that gets ripped out I had snake bites

I've seen those holes there on your face Yeah I've got a couple of holes. Did you? Yeah. My poor mother, eh? 16 years old, shoving holes everywhere. Did she have to sign a permission slip or did you just get them done and turn up home?

No, you just get them done. At 16, you were allowed to at Flesh Wound in Wellington, but I had to take them out for school and then they just closed up. Just doing the maths there. My daughter's 10. That means I've got six years to wrap this all up and move to the forest.

So she's getting snake bites. No, no, we and move to the forest. She's getting snake bites. No, no, we're moving to the forest. She'll never be allowed in the city. No, no, no, no, no. Stay away from the evil big city. Well, I still to this day, years later, teased about shell necklaces, which have made a comeback. So I'm now saying to people, don't do it.

No, I think you should jump on board. Well, the poll, we've asked the people on Instagram, she's running a pretty straight 50-50 at the moment whether or not we get Fletch back in a shell necklace. Yeah. Yeah. I love this idea. I don't know.

I don't love it. Especially when you've got the sun-kissed tan, it's like you've just come back from Bali. I'm going to Bali this year. I'm going to get you one. Okay, great. I'm going to get the whole team a shell necklace. I don't know if it's a good idea a second time around.

No. So we want to know your fashion warnings to people listening now and their future selves. Some text messages. Belly button piercings. Someone said it's nice when you're young and tight and you can have a dangly little situation and a jewel in it, but after a few babies it's just a big saggy flap of skin

with a giant hole in it. But then, that's different to me. Yeah. Because it's like, I don't know. I don't know. You've got kids out of it, right? You can be like, and one day you can be like, look what you did to me. Which is a real healthy thing to do to your children.

Yes. Hope, what is the fashion advice that you would give? Leave the black eyeliner alone. Oh, yeah, put it down. Yeah, put it down. And all I can think of, which was a major fashion faux pas, was Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse.

Oh, Dream Matte Mousse, babe. Dream Matte Mousse. Did you used to apply it with your fingers? Like you'd never use the eyeliner. Yeah, and I'd have to have that jawline. If there wasn't that very defined line, my makeup was not done. You cannot blend.

You cannot blend. Tell me what this is called. So it's Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse. Oh, girl, every 30-year-old knows. Every 30-year-old knows. That's right. And it was like a foundation and a pothole and it was mousse textured

and you'd rub it onto your skin and it was so heavy, eh? And it was like flat. Oh, great coverage. Great coverage. What would it do? Make your face all one tone. All one tone and you'd stop there and you'd just have like this line.

And it was so heavy. There was no such thing as contouring back in those days. Yeah, you had no blush, no bronzer, just a flat, matte face. Who was a celebrity that we would be able to say? Oh, I don't know. It was a real Kiwi girl thing. Oh, really? Yeah, you had to cover the lips as well.

You had that nude lip. You had to cover the lips. Cover the lips. And then eyeliner all the way around. Do you look back at photos now, Hope, and you're like, oh, God, I can't look at that? Oh, I just wonder why I didn't punch myself in the face, to be fair.

Someone should have said something. I reckon if you're not looking back at something you did as a teenager and thinking, or early 20s and thinking, why didn't I punch myself in the face for that? You've not come very far as a human. You didn't do it right. You've not changed. You're probably still rocking that look and thinking it's cool.

Yeah. Hope, thank you for sharing. Trixie, what's your fashion warning? Fashion warning. Trixie. Hello. Trixie. Good morning. Yes. Good morning.

Yes. Good morning. Turn your radio off. What's your fashion warning? My fashion warning, I'm an 80s teenager. Yep. And the jeans that had, they were really high cut, but then they had all the pleats at the front and pockets on the side.

Oh, yuck. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Why would you add pleats at the front and pockets on the side. Oh, yuck. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Why would you add pleats around the groin area? Totally. The last thing a lower stomach needs is more pleats. It's more pleats. I haven't seen those kind of... Exactly, not good.

I haven't seen those kind of... It's okay probably if you're quite thin, but... Yeah, but I don't think they're making a comeback, are they? Well, I bloody hope not. Oh, yeah, they're hideous, aren't they? Yeah, I'm just showing Fletcher photos. Okay, all right. Thank you, Trixie.

Olivia, what's your fashion warning? Oh, definitely those slicked back hair with two little bits hanging down in front of your face. Now, come on. What was wrong with them? A good stripe of blue eyeshadow. Oh, yes. And, Olivia, did you also rock with your blue eyeshadow,

a little bit of blue mascara? Oh, definitely. Always the blue mascara. Yeah. In the 90s. Yeah, 100%. You're ready to attract all the males after that. I just felt so cool.

Were you wanting to attract males with shell necklaces? Oh, no. No, I was looking for the shell necklaces. Yeah, no. I was looking for the shell necklaces. Yeah, see? I told you they were absolute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, 100%.

If you had the blue eyeshadow, the shells were coming for you. Oh, absolutely. You were attracting the shells. You were shell bait. Amazing, Olivia. Thanks for sharing some more fashion warnings. Text in. Someone said, from someone who's been there,

don't go near the air stretchers. When you decide to finally take them out, you've either got to deal with having big saggy lobes at 28 or pay the fortune to get the surgery done. So many of my friends

have had the surgery. The big emo, all my emo mates to get their discs sewn up. How do they do it? Well, you cut the bottom. They cut a whole lot off. Yeah, you cut a whole lot off

and then you kind of stitch it together. Does it look okay? It looks like a cat's anus. Like a pursed cat's anus. A little pursed anus. You don't want to be known as old anus ears. Anus lobes.

Not at all. Someone said, I saw a kid wearing tearaway pants the other day, and I was like, uh-oh. What's going on here then? Are they back, are they? Even just looking back at photos of us, like, when we're hanging out in baggy jeans, I'm like,

don't do it again, people. No. But at the time, you're like, this is great. This is cool. My primary school was mufti, and the fun thing with tearaways, because you'd always have to have the bottom one open, was just walk up to people and rip them up to the leg. It wouldn't happen

then. That should not have happened then but it certainly wouldn't happen now. Someone said I would put a warning out against tramp stamps. Oh yeah, okay. Are they back? I don't know if they're back. Were they ever gone, man? Yep, they definitely were.

Someone said I've seen a few lately of a long sleeve shirt underneath a t-shirt. I promise you it doesn't look good. Yeah, right. Somebody said, my mum always said if you wore the fashion the first time never wear it the second because you'll be old by then. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We can't

get back into it. It's the cycles like every so often. Yeah. Somebody said I saw somebody, my daughter goes to school with wearing a cycle like every so often. Yeah. Somebody said, I saw somebody, my daughter goes to school with wearing a lace plastic choker the other day. Oh, yes. You know those ones

that were like that, like spirals around the neck, plastic chokers. Yeah, and you'd stretch it, right? Yeah. And put it in, look like it should have been like a tattoo.

Like a tattoo, yeah, yeah. It should have been holding your hair back. Whiskers on jeans. Don't know what whiskers on jeans are. These are a few of my favourite things

It sounds like a place Fact of the day Day day day day Today's fact of the day is In America before there were Public publicly maintained spaces known as parks, the most popular place to picnic was... The beach or lake? The beach or lake?

The beach? Cemeteries. Oh. They would picnic in cemeteries Because it was an area Where there was grass And it was kept in Like a reasonable condition And it was fenced And it was nice

And there was trees to sit under And park benches to sit on It's quiet The grass was wet Maybe a stone You could sit on Well yeah There's a photo here

Lots of them There's a photo here That guy's just up Right on it isn't he Oh yeah Sitting up on the actual Whole thing Sacrilege

When I was a kid I was terrified of cemeteries. Well, because of horror movies. Yeah. Even, like, driving past them, I was scared of them. Yeah. Like, now I actually find them, like, such a fascinating place. Really fascinating.

Love going for a walk around an old cemetery. They're always beautiful as well. Like, nowadays, they're so well kept, and they're always, like, on top of a mountain with the best view. Yeah. Great place to build some apartments too, aren't they? We can somehow shift these ponies. I could sell apartments here for a fortune.

You should be cremated because we're running out of land in some places. We're running out of space. Yeah, but that'd bloody ruin your sandwich, wouldn't it? If you're having a sandwich in a picnic or someone's flicking dust around. Well, no, they do. I've got Fletcher in my sandwich. That'll get in your potato salad. Yeah, and that stuff's expensive because it weighs so much sandwich. That'll get in your potato salad. Yeah.

And that stuff's expensive because it weighs so much more than you think it's going to weigh. Yeah. Potato salad. But have you watched the, because now I've seen those videos where people go around and clean gravestones, headstones. Like on TikTok and stuff. Yeah, yeah. They've got the people who go around and clean them.

Like real old ones from the 1800s. Yeah. And I guess just all the families passed away and there's nobody in. I don't think the council, it costs a fortune. Well, could we build apartments here? It's not their issue. They mow the lawns, but they won't clean the headstones.

But then there's this really old cemetery down the road from me and I'd love to give cleaning one a go, but I also don't, like what if I wreck it? That's creepy. And what if you get caught and someone comes along and they're like, what the hell are you doing to my great-great-grandmother's grave? And I'm just exit moulding it. Yeah.

I'm sorry. Have you seen what the stuff will do to your bathroom? And they're like, are you trying to sell me exit mould? I'll be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's amazing. But it is amazing. And I'm just in my undies because when you exit moulding, you're always getting in your undies.

Only ever in your undies. And your worst undies as well. Yeah, I've got a pair of exit moulding undies. A specific pair of exit moulding undies're always going to be in undies. Only ever in your undies. And your worst undies as well. I've got a pair of exit moulding undies. A specific pair of exit moulding undies because the first time I wore them, it stripped all the colour out. I have to be very quick exit moulding my shower. Well, you've got no ventilation.

You've got very little ventilation. But you've just got to mould and get out of the exit mould and get out. Yeah. So I hot boxed myself once. Well, I haven't had to exit mould the new bathroom yet because we got rid of the old bathroom because of how often it needed exit moulding. But it's all tile. So, man, I just't had to exit mould the new bathroom yet because we got rid of the old bathroom because of how often it needed exit moulding.

But it's all tile. So, man, I just can't wait. I'm just going to go ham with the exit mould. And a respirator in my undies looking like Walter White from Breaking Bad when he first starts making meth in the caravan in the desert. Doesn't want to get his suit dirty. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is before parks,

the most popular place to... And this was also just quick, you know, cities were booming. Like so many people were moving to the cities and they were used to living in areas of farms and stuff where they had their own land. But of course now they didn't have like big public spaces to share with friends. So they would go and have it in the most popular place to have a picnic before parks were cemeteries. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now I don't believe in all that. And I don't believe in any of this fairytale nonsense. But I do agree that sleeping with your head by the door of your room is a bit weird. I kind of sleep with my head by the door. Yeah, but you've got no... Oh, you could spin it. Actually, good point. That bed you've got, why Oh, you could spin it. Actually, good point. That bed you've got,

why don't you spin it 90 degrees? Where are your electric switches? Yeah, they're by my bed. That's what it becomes more about. I know. That's what it is to me. Where your power points were situated versus what makes more sense.

Yeah, your electrician didn't feng shui, did he? No. So this article that you've found, what is it saying? It asks people which way their beard faces. Yeah. And this was by literally not even feet towards the door, north, south, east, west.

Oh. Like, where's the head of your beard facing? My head is west. I'll have to get out my phone with the compass. I've got no idea. I'm not sure where I am. I'd say west. It's even southwest, actually.

My head's a southwest head. Sunrises in the east? Correct. I'm not sure where I am. I'd say even southwest actually. My head's a southwest head. Sunrises in the east? Correct. I'm facing north. Feet north. Your feet are north. Head next to the door. Yeah, my head's facing the Little India restaurant.

Two blocks up, two doors up. Oh God, that must be nice. In the other building. That's a compass direction too. It goes north, east, little India, south. Yeah. No one eats soggy north Indian wheat mix. That's the one.

That's the one. Well, apparently the study asked people like which way they face and about any health issues. If your head is facing to the east or the south when you sleep, you're more likely to have a lower heart rate, blood pressure, lower cholesterol levels. Well, this is a bad problem for me. Because I woke up this morning with more low heart rate alerts.

Yours is so low. Pop your head to the north. Is that what I have to do? Maybe just, you don't have to move, relocate your bed, but just put your pillows on a different end of the bed. Yeah. Your head faces east. My heart range.

This is the problem. You need to flip. You need to sleep upside down. My heart range today has been from 37 to 123. 37? Yeah. Every morning I wake up and my heart rate goes. Phew, you're alive.

Yeah, my heart rate, it's like you dipped under 43 or 44 times during sleeping. Oh, that's no good. Am I dying? Am I going to die soon, guys? You are dying. Okay. How do you find this out? We all have to. Well, it's no good. Am I dying? Am I going to die soon, guys? You are dying. Okay. How do you find this out? We all have to.

What's my Apple Watch in the house? He sleeps with the watch on. I sleep with my watch on. I sleep with my watch. I charge my watch overnight. I charge. Yeah, I charge overnight. I charge overnight.

And also, it just feels like a feeling charge. But is this different than feng shui, which is your feet can't be facing the door? Is that what that... I think it's all... This is all nonsense, right? Is that what that... I think it's all... This is all nonsense, right? Is it? I just...

Some things make sense, right? Like your head, if your bed's against the wall, that's where your head is. You don't sleep feet against the wall, head in the middle of the room. No. That's nonsense. Unless you're a kid and you're topping and tailing.

Have you ever been to a hotel or a motel and the bed's in the middle of the room because they've built a wall in the... You know, I've stayed to a hotel or a motel and the bed's in the middle of the room because they've built a wall? I've sat in a hotel like that and the bed was in the middle of the room. And they've got a wall behind that and you can go behind the wall. Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah. And it was real weird. It was like a wardrobe behind there or a bathroom or something. I've seen people do, some people do their bedrooms like that so they can use the space behind because it might be a massive... Yeah, use your clothes and stuff.

Yeah. For a walk in. You've got to have a big room to be able to run that. Yeah, you've got to have a big room. But I don't mind it. I wonder if that's feng shui, feng shui. I don't know. I thought the feng shui thing was about the direction your feet towards the door

because that's the way the dead get carried out. Oh, God. I remember something like that. Of course it is. We don't shui. We go, our shui is based on where the PowerPoints are. Oh, God. I remember something like that. Of course it is. We don't shway. We go, our shway is based on where the PowerPoints are. So this is- PowerPoint shway.

PowerPoint shway. This is a little bit different from feng shway. Yeah. It's a little more east. It's from Maharishi Vastu architectural studies. Some of the principles are the building's main entrance should face east or north. Yeah. But you can't- You live in a apartment building. Just of the principles are the building's main entrance should face east or north. Yeah.

But you can't. You live in a part of the building. Just turn the building. You can't just say to the building. Up and turn the building. Next body court meeting you go to. I say, look, guys, some architects are saying that we need a new exit. Building walls should align with the cardinal direction.

So walls should be north, south, east, west. Right. Basically, that means they should run in those directions. No angular. Just stop it. It's just nonsense. Floor plan clearly assigns key functions to specific locations within the building.

The floor plan also allows occupants to face the most ideal directions for work and sleep and emphasises the use of non-toxic natural materials. Bring back asbestos. That stuff was fireproof. You wouldn't have buildings for Hardy Hardy Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley

Mother's Day this Sunday And rather than just getting your mum The stock standard robe And box of Cadbury roses I've got some tips to help you Find the right gift for your mother Because apparently according to a survey 82% of mothers are expecting a gift

Either from their kids or their SO. Their significant other. What age can they start looking after this themselves? I've got a 10 year old and a soon to be 8 year old. I feel like they should just be... They're at the age where they can craft a gift, make a gift maybe.

You can just drop them at the mall with $10 and say go. You've got to give her a rub. What? A little rub. I give her and say go. You could give her a rub. What? A little rub. I give her a rub? Yeah, you give her a little rub. It's Mother's Day.

How long does it have to be? Technically, you should be looking after Christine. Yeah, you wouldn't do that to your mum. No, don't rub your mum. Rub your wife. Because she's not my mum, but this is my wife's name. She's not my mum, but this is my wife's name. Yeah, I know.

I always remember dad always got mum something for Mother's Day growing up. Yes. And I was always just like, what's he done that for? Sade will be expecting it. Sade will be part of the 82% of people that are expecting it. Oh, absolutely.

Foodie mums, if you've got a mum like mine who loves her food, loves to try new foods, give certificate to a local restaurant. Even though that's probably a good idea for your mum

because we did mention earlier it is International Firefighters Day today and she did set the kitchen on fire that time. She did. Back in the 90s, however, but she still hasn't learnt. If you think about your usual soccer mums, the mums that whole life is about taking their kids to the... Admin mums. Admin mums.

They prefer homemade or household gifts. Homemade, like, you know, put some effort into it, but a heart. They want to know that you've thought about it and also invested time because that's how they show their love is that they invest so much time. Sade's just signed up

to be Indy's bloody netball team manager. Oh, God. The coach is better than the manager. The coach swans in, chuck pass, listen for this, stay outside the D, centre, that's where you stay.

Manager's got to do all the admin. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm so glad I don't have any kids because then I don't have to put their shitty clocks they made at woodwork on the wall. Oh, I know. The aesthetics. You've got to have that on your wall forever. I'm making you a clock on the lathe.

You better put it on your wall. I am your kid, so you've got to put my shitty artwork on your wall. Now, I did say that my mum was a foodie mum, but I found the next category, wine mums. Oh, she's more of a wine mum. Patsy's a wine mum, and that's obvious. You get a slightly nicer bottle of wine. So we're talking your $25. Your $25, not your 17s.

Yeah, okay. And also, I find if you kind of go around the $22 mark, but get one with a slightly flasher-looking label, that sort of adds... Maybe some gold? Some gold winning stickers? Yeah, or rather than just going for your standard bottle of Lindau, looking label. That sort of adds some gold winning stickers. Yeah,

or rather than just going for your standard bottle of Lindau, sometimes they'll do for the same price like what they call a special edition and it'll just look

like it's got a whole bottle wrap on it and it adds $12 to your average bottle of wine, I think. Black sticker. Anything with a

black sticker, she'll love it. She'll guzzle that right up. Have you ever read what those stickers on wine say? No, we've talked

about this. The stickers are absolutely meaningless. Oh, yeah, yeah. They just can put them on themselves. Yeah, when you look closely, it's like gold sticker. Yeah, yeah.

That's literally what it says. Gold sticker. This is a gold sticker. 94 out of 100. Gold sticker. God love wine. Gold sticker. 94 out of 100.

What do you mean? Yeah. Raewyn's favourite. Gold sticker. Yeah, yeah. Who's Raewyn? Well, we don't know. That would actually be funny just to make up a whole lot of gold stickers

that say inane or crazy stuff. Yeah, I've told you I used to do this when I do my solo shows. On my show posters, I always put laurels. You made your own quotes. Yeah, and then I just put best this and that and that from this imaginary festival. The New York Times will sue you one day for that. Yeah, I know.

But the problem is it's such a big situation like the New York Times or like the Herald in New Zealand is that there's so many people that could have reviewed it. If it just says four out of five stars New Zealand Herald, the Herald would just be like, that must have been somebody else. And you just write Brian Macron. I'll say you work for them now. They won't sue you.

Yeah, thanks very much, guys. They'll be suing themselves technically. Well, anyway, go get your mum a gift for Mother's Day because she's expecting it. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.