ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 5th December 2022

Episode Date: December 4, 2022

Spicy Food Analysis  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Signs your Car shouldn't have a WoF  6 Second Kiss Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, Simply Good Coffee. Try their delicious and refreshing iced coffee now at Macca's. Just, what a day. Is this Hayley's last show? Is it? Is it? Guys, we had a boo-boo today.

We did have a boo-boo. Now, the podcast won't hear it. No. I think we're popping in on the end. No. Producer Jared's shaking his head. This has to be a live moment that never gets clipped up. Yeah. Here's the story. We've got a photo shoot, right? a live moment that never gets clipped up yeah

here's the story we've got a photo shoot right we've got a photo shoot after work and then so my friend Rasheen's been in here

doing my hair and makeup and we were talking about something that led to a conversation of a night out that Rasheen and I had had where she was up

a stripper's pole and she was slipping down and struggling so I put my hand up her rear end to help her and thus the story continues, had a slippage. Yeah.

Oh, wow. And the mics were on during the ad break, and New Zealand heard it. I'd love to know what ad. Pretty much listen to ad of that ad break. I hope it wasn't Magnus Penrose, because they're just too sweet. Well, it would have been different in each market around the country. No, but it wouldn't have been. How – that doesn't work that way, though, does it?

Yes, it does. I thought it gave up our broadcast and just went purely to the local broadcasts. Yeah, but our mics can still go over the top. I didn't know that. I thought it pulsed out and pulsed back in. No, they can. Oh, we can still go over the top. Yeah.

Oh, so you were hoping it was only sort of central Auckland. Well, I was hoping it could have just been one market. Yeah. Just 1.5 million people over four or five nearly, yeah. God, I hope they were over like 18 because of what I was talking about. But, you know, these things happen. Producer Jared said where he listened to it was over a Countdown ad. Well, I'm a New World girl.

That'll teach them. I want to give a toss. Well, yeah, podcasters, you will hear us mention it and issue a brief apology in the podcast today. But that's why, just to bring you up to speed. Wild, isn't it? Yeah, and of course the blame game is happening, isn't it? I'm not going to apologise for what I said,

because it was in the privacy of my friends. Correct. And I didn't know it was being broadcasted. Correct. I don't think you should apologise, because you didn't put the faders down. I mean, I certainly didn't turn the mic on. Because, no.

And my mic button got turned on, I think, by Rasheen, who was packing up the makeup. Do you know what we need for you is, you know those fighter jet pilots, before they fire a missile, they always clip open the little plastic protective cover so they don't accidentally fire the missile. We'll get you one of those. If we could just have this removed. So you can't knock it?

Because I say some things to you, too. I say some things. Look, that could have been a whole lot worse, couldn't it? Yeah. What is Jared throwing his hands up for? Oh, we've got to go. We've got to go. All right, bye, guys.

Bye, Aaron. Enjoy. Play Zeddy's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Thank you, Lee. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Two minutes past six. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fleech, Vaughan and Hayley. Two minutes past six. Good morning.

The 5th of December. Remember, remember, the 5th of December. You can really make it work with a lot of dates, can't you? A lot of months, yeah. Vaughan, we need to sort out your deodorant. Oh, the white marks? The white marks when you're pulling it over. I hate when that happens.

Yeah. This is why you put your deodorant on after you put your T-shirt on. I like not having to sneak it up. You know, like you have to go like this. But yeah, that's a problem. Little white marks. I told you about the time, eh, that I was wearing a top and no bra and I was talking to someone and I went under this

and it came up like this and I just had a boobie out. I don't know. I don't want to see, but we kept titty-picking out. It's a little boobie. And they were like, hello. Were you deodorising in front of somebody?

Yeah, I was just getting ready and I went like that and it was like popped out from under the top. I'm wearing a singlet now. But I wasn't then. I wasn't even wearing a bra. I was like, boodoink. Wow, okay.

Goodness me. Lucky them. I've got to say, you're wearing a nice blue T-shirt today, Fletch. Thank you. Is it new blue? It's new blue, yeah. Yeah, cute. Get those baby blues popping.

Thank you. Cute for you. Thank you. Coming up on the show, thank you, Producer Jarrod. Did you see Producer Jarrod? I've been making Producer Jarrod do some of my own personal printing as well. Oh, my God. Is that a script

for an audition it is thank you Jared that's company money do you want to run lines run a line give us a line

I can't confidential oh oh okay I'm getting a lot of trouble goodness me okay

but producer Jared's seen it now but I trust him with my life wow that's a lot I trust producer Jared with coming up on, that's a lot to put on. I trust Producer Jared. Coming up on the show, the top six.

Warrants have been recalled. Dude. And not just like a couple. Over 2,000. Yeah. Warrants. There's a place that has been investigated, and they've just been giving out warrants.

Willie Snilly. I was about to say, where is this place? But it sounds like it's been shut down. Or at least... Sounds like it'd be affordable, though. Growing up in rural New Zealand, you always knew you might have to drive a little bit further for a warrant.

You know, there was always some place within Kui that would give you a warrant, you know. Overlook a couple of whoopsies. Because they could say, like, here's your warrant. You might want to book it for a service, but it's past the warrant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I won't do any work on it.

That's what I need. Mine's due. That's always a good time. But I've got the top six signs your car shouldn't have a warrant. Okay. It's coming up on the show. Next, though, a neighbour has had enough of a noise. So.

They dealt with it. Dealt with the noise. Killed the noise. And maybe The doubt with that. Doubt with the noise. Killed the noise. And maybe something else as well. Someone has been driven up the wall by the sound of their neighbour's ventilator. Now, a ventilator keeps you alive. So. What kind of ventilator keeps you alive. So... What kind of ventilator?

Just sort of a small one or are we talking a full iron lung situation? Not a full iron lung situation. This is in hospital, isn't it? When you say neighbour. Or do you mean neighbour over the fence? No, no, no. I mean neighbour like next to her.

Right. In hospital. In hospital, yeah. In a German hospital. Okay. So she just reached over and hospital, yeah. In a ward. In a hospital. Okay. So she just reached over and flicked it off of the wall. What the hell? Oh, that's making the noise, is it?

Flick. God, that nasty hum in the room. Yeah. So a 72-year-old has been arrested because she switched off the 79-year-old neighbour's oxygen supply via the ventilator. That's not good. Wow.

Yes. Wait, is the person on the ventilator still with us? She required emergency resuscitation because obviously when she slowly passed, you know, like slowly. Due to lack of oxygen. Due to lack of oxygen. Went flatline. That set an alarm off

and they rushed. There was an emergency resuscitation and the condition has since stabilised but she's still in intensive care. Oh my God. So if that... That would have been my way out. Yeah, but maybe she didn't want that.

If I was in hospital on a ventilator, I'd be like, can you, when I nod off, just switch that off. Yeah, but you've got to take off the things that beep too. You've got to switch off the thing beside it as well. Yeah, switch off everything. In fact, when I fall be like, when I nod off, just switch that off. Yeah, but you've got to take off the things that beep too. You've got to switch off the thing beside it as well.

Yeah, switch off everything. In fact, when I fall asleep tonight, just go along and go, flick, flick, flick, flick, unplug the multi-box. Yeah, the multi-box. Trip the multi-box so it all turns off. That'd be great. So if the person who was on the ventilator had passed away, would the other person have been done for manslaughter?

She was arrested on suspicion of attempted manslaughter. And if she's found guilty, she will have to spend like several years in prison. Yeah, but she's old. And in hospital. And in hospital too. Do we know why she's in hospital? No, no word what was wrong with her.

Right. Maybe she's having a mole removed. It would be pretty good if it was just something a one night stay and she's like, that noise has got to stop. Oh my gosh, terrible.

I mean, I quite like, anytime I've been in the hospital and had to stay, I quite like the hum. It's been a while since I've been in a ward, like not since I was a kid,

but those, it's just a curtain. You can hear everything. Do you not go private? Do you not go private? Do you not go private? No. Oh, man, I get a small boutique. Oh, do you?

Is it like a hotel room? Seaside Airbnb. Yes, yeah, exactly. Lovely feathered pillows and the works. No. There's always someone coughing up a lung in a ward. Yeah. Full. What do they call it? lung in a ward. Yeah. Full.

What do they call it? The death rattle? Yeah. You know, when someone's dying and their lungs start making strange noises. The last time I slept in like a proper hospital was in a maternity ward. Right. And it was, I've got kids. Why are you looking at me like that?

Why did you sleep in a children's room? No, when my best friend had a baby Oh, right Yeah, that's an awful sound Because someone's either There's either crying babies Or someone's having a baby Yeah

I've told you the story when I think it was with Indy When my mum and dad came to visit Dad was walking along the Hallway Yeah Of NICU, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, where you have a premature baby, you go in there.

Yes. Walking along the hallway. And he tells the story that he heard a milking machine. Now, he's a dairy farmer, so he's immediately interested in what milk. But he was like, that's a familiar noise. So I'm like, what's one of those doing in here? Not thinking, I'm in a maternity ward. Yeah, someone's a familiar noise. So I'm like, what's one of those doing in here? Not thinking, I'm in a maternity ward.

Yeah, someone's getting milked. There'll be a woman getting milked, and he pops through the door and looks. Oh, Dad. And he stuck his head around the corner, and there was a woman with two. Pumps. Getting pumped. And he was like, oh, what model's that? Oh, Dad.

And this woman's just like. He's like, I'll leave you to it. And he came back, he's like, didn't even think about it, just walked straight in. Oh, mate. Oh, no. Oh, God, he's cancelled. Yeah, cancelled. Absolutely cancelled. He's famously terrible at handling

awkward situations where he doesn't know what to say. What model's that? This woman's just looking at him like, get out, get out. 12 past six. But he didn't unplug her. No. Which is just as well.

Just as well. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I don't know what this says about me. There is a study that has looked into what your spice level preference in food says about who you are as a person. Okay. And I'm a convert. I used to be a Kiwi mild, and I'm not afraid to say my go-to was a butter chicken.

Mild. Mild, yeah. I mean, it's a great way to be introduced to Indian cuisine. It's delicious. The butter chick. Oh, because we never had Indian food growing up. I can literally remember the first time I had sushi. I can definitely remember the first time I had sushi.

I was like, what's going on here? Yeah. I was in Auckland. I moved to Auckland to study and someone was like, I was like, what is this? Dude, I think back to how sheltered my upbringing was, especially in cuisine. What is this? This, I think back to how sheltered my upbringing was, especially in cuisine. What is this? This is sushi. I was like,

is it going to be cooked? Yeah. No, it is. You eat it cold. I was like, alright. Cold and raw. Mexican, I can remember the first time I had Mexican food and I can remember the first time I had like a mall curry. We did like, we had curry but we'd have like, yeah, sweet curry

and our Mexican would be like, you know, like mum's sort of mince on nachos with sour cream and cheese and stuff. We never had nachos. It was not spicy. We never had nachos and we never had like tacos. Oh. But now that's, you have taco Tuesdays. Oh my God.

But yeah, I'm a convert. I used to have a real mild palate, couldn't handle it at all. And now I'm definitely up to a higher medium. You've got to train yourself. Yeah, you've got to just start mild and then just add a bit more each time. And have good spice. You know, like there's some spices, some heat that is just heat. Yes.

And you're like, why? Whereas like some heat is like flavourful heat. You learn to love the flavour. Anyway, so I don't know what it says about my personality because they say, according to the survey, that if you reach for spicier foods, the spicier the food you reach for, the spicier your life is.

Oh, so you've got a spicy life. He's a spicy life. Boy, do I want. They say spicy food eaters are more likely to enjoy trying new things. They're braver. Consider themselves more attractive. Okay. You know, the mild. Rate yourself.

The mild people. Yeah, calm down. More content with their lives than those who like a mild heat. What does it say about sweet chilli sauce eaters like myself? So I'm going to include that to in the mild side of things. Okay. You mild kids are more likely to describe yourselves as empathetic

and even shy. Oh, he's a shy boy. He's a shy boy. Our Fletch, he's shy. And if you fall somewhere in the middle in your sort of medium heats, I say that's more you. Yeah, I'm more of a medium heat. A bit of heat.

Calm and curious. And dog people. God, I don't know how they get these stats. Who ran the stats? Big Spice. It was Big Spice. Was it Big Spice? Or was it Patax?

It was one poll on behalf of Frank's Red Hot Sauce. Oh, Frank's Red Hot Sauce is pretty yum hot sauce. I had to do... It's really American. I did a live stream the other day for the warehouse, and I was with Santa, and... He must be so busy right now. He popped by.

Wow. I know now he popped by wow I know he popped by even in the middle of everything I know because we were giving we were giving away gifts and stuff and Santa he just came and he was like I'm going to give away some gifts

before the gifts yeah but as part of it we tried because the warehouse oh my god free plaque they've got some new sources oh right

called their market their market kitchen market kitchen sources but they made she's on big she's on big warehouse big red this is. She's on Big Warehouse, mate. Big Red.

No, this is free. She's on Big Red. So you're on Big Red. This is free. What's it called? Market Sauces. Market Kitchen Sauces. But it's made by Cully's.

Oh, yeah. Good sauces. What Cully's got in bed with the warehouse. Yeah, mate. Good sauces. They had some of the new sauces there, but they also had the Cully's, and they had the Cully's 10, which I've never tried before, but that's their hottest sauce.

I've got a bottle of that and it's been in my fridge for about three years because it's one of those ones when you're making like a stew or a curry, you put a dollop in. So we had like a classic sausage sizzle situation going on and I said to Santa, like, let's try the 10 live stream. It was for kids, so I couldn't swear. You couldn't kill Santa before Christmas. It was for kids, so I couldn't swear. You couldn't kill Santa before Christmas?

It was for kids. I couldn't swear. I didn't know. I didn't pre-taste or anything, and I put a slather on a sausage, and me and Santa had this sausage. Holy! And then for the rest of the livestream, which was like 30 minutes after that, I was like snotting and crying.

And I couldn't, I couldn't, yeah, I was like snotting and crying. And I couldn't, yeah, they had to bring us in some milk. That was hot. It was fun. Santa's okay. He was all good. He could handle the jandal more than I could. I don't know, I nearly killed Santa.

Jesus. Wow. It would have been a lowly Christmas. I would have had to gone up there and delivered gifts around the world. And I'm a busy girl. That's how it works. That's how it works, yeah. According to the Tim Allen movie, Santa Claus. If you kill Santa, you've got to do it.

Yeah, you adopt the mantle. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little boy. Silly little boy.

Silly little boy. Silly, silly, silly, that silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. Sleeping positions. Sleeping. Has anybody, I saw someone very interesting, a question on Twitter. As an adult, has anyone successfully changed their sleeping positions?

Oh, yeah. I remember for a while I had to sleep on my back. It was horrible because I'm not a back sleeper. I've been trying to do more back because even with the body pillow, I still have a little twist when I'm on the side. Yeah. I'm on the front or on the side. I love a bit of front.

You're crazy. The front's the best. You're crazy. The front is the best. I'm plain old on the side? I love a bit of front. The front's the best. You're crazy. The front is the best. I'm playing all on the side. Duvet tucked between the legs. Yeah, that's a hot play. Yeah.

You need the body pillow. You need the body pillow between the legs. I know, and I've got my teddy bear that I've had since I was four years old. He lives in the bed with us. And I put him in between the boobs to keep them apart. Yeah. Ever hump him as a fr boobs to keep them apart. Yeah.

Did you ever hump him as a frisky teenager? No, no. As a teenager? What are you shaking your head for? This childlike behaviour. No, I had a very good pillow. You had a very good pillow for that.

I had a pillow for that. I knew it was something. But do you remember years ago, you know, on like infomercials? Wow. That's early. We can talk about humping things.

Yeah. A little bit of a rub. We can rub up against things. Absolutely. What, you never have sort of a sexual awakening during boogie boarding or something over there? You didn't lean over the bloody kitchen bench a little hard sometimes? Never find an erotic corner of something?

Yeah, yeah. What is wrong with you? You prove? You never mounted the back of the couch? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. You even lingered a little bit too long while climbing over a gate?

That's right. Gosh. I want to prude. I don't know where we're working with a prude. Oh, God. Do you remember those infomercials for there? There was like a tube. It was like a tube pillow like this.

It was small, and it was for women to wedge between their boobs. What is this? When you sleep on the side, they squish into each other and it can be uncomfortable. Really? It's like a sausage. Yeah. And you put it between your boobs so they would stay apart. You're keeping a tally.

That's another reason being a woman sounds harder than being a man. Yeah, I am keeping a tally. Boobs move around. Boobs and sleep time. But I sleep on my side. But if I sleep on my back, I have to have my arms above my head. Same. I love a man. Yeah, I am keeping a tally. Boobs move around. Boobs and sleep time. But I sleep on my side, but if I sleep on my back, I have to have my arms above my head. Same. I love a nap. I love

a nap where you put your arms up underneath the pillow and just fall asleep on a couch or something. That's good stuff. Good stuff. Apparently when I was under for my colonoscopy of late, that's what I kept trying to do. When I was rolling on my back, I kept trying to put my arms up. I had to tie them down. You had to be restrained. You had to be restrained.

I had to be restrained. Wow. Jesus. Well, we asked you about your sleeping positions for today's silly little poll. The three options on my front,

on my side, on my back. On my side's the most popular, 64%, but on my front, quarter of the people. Yeah. Bad for the neck,

but it's so comfy. Not a good pillow. I can't do it. It's the neck alone that I can't do. Look at you. You can't. Oh, no, I can, but just all night like that. You can't put your...

Is that the most you can twist your neck? No, that's pretty good. That's real tough. I'm almost like the bloody exorcist. Like an owl. Yeah, you are like an owl all the way around. And on my back, only 10% of people sleeping on their back. I don't let Aaron. The moment he And on my back, only 10% of people sleeping on their back. I don't let Aaron.

The moment he's on his back, it's an elbow in the side. Maybe that's why. Kelly says, team chronic backache from sleeping on my front. Yeah, I thought you would. Yeah, because you do as well. It arches your spine a little bit. What is the recommended posture sleeping? It's on your side.

You need the ceiling post-eopedic. Ceiling post-eopedic feeling silly, really. That's a free one. That's a free one. We're on big bed, aren't we? Josh, I'm a combo frontside with one leg hiked halfway up, I assume on account of my homosexuality. No, because I hike a leg up, Joshua, and am I homosexual?

You could be. Maybe. Have you tried it out? I haven't tried it. Okay, well, you don't know until you try. You don't know until you try. That's exactly right. Avalanche Romper says, sleeping on my front gives me back pain.

Sleeping on the side gives me neck pain. Welcome to your 30s. It's all downhill from here. I was just looking up what is the best from the Sleep Foundation. What's the best position? They say sleeping on your stomach is the worst. Why? Because of your back. You're arched. And even if you tilt your head to the side

it's still you. You go dip and then up. That's no good. On the side's the best. Not if you've got a good bed and good support. It's got nothing to do with bed. If your pillow's up. No, but you just don't have a big pillow. You're supposed to sleep like the cavemen sleep

and the cavewoman sleep. Not on rocks. A rock for a pillow. Anne says... What? That was retro as a Little Britain reference. Wow. Anne says... A 2000 a Little Britain reference. Wow. Anne says, a 2000s Little Britain reference. Oh, my God.

I was just like, Anne. Anne. I was like, Anne. You wouldn't get away with that these days. You wouldn't get away with most of that show these days. No, no, no. Anne says, on my front gives me shins. What? Shin splints? G gives me shins. What?

Shin splints? Gives me shins the best sleep ever, and then I'm dead asleep within 30 seconds. Oh, wow. Straight out. The next one's just taking a little water load, I blame. Make it up, make it up, make it up. Nikita says, sighed, but sometimes I wake up on my back with my arms across my chest like I'm an Egyptian mummy.

Yes, you've been entombed in a sarcophagus. A what? A sarcophagus. I was saying it wrong on purpose. Holly,

who loves plants, according to her username, Holly loves plants, all of the above need to be an option. I'm a real bedworm. Can you imagine sleeping next to this thing?

Wiggle, waggle, wiggle, waggle. Wiggle, waggle. Wiggle, waggle. Wiggle, waggle. The next one, it's still loading. I'm going to make one up. The next one says, whoa, man, sleeping's great. What were these loads? You're on the right Wi-Fi. Maybe you're on the guest Wi-Fi. They give the guests slower Wi-Fi. Yeah. Just to show them who's alpha. When you're on the right Wi-Fi, maybe you're on the guest Wi-Fi. They give the guests slower Wi-Fi. Yeah.

Just to show them who's alpha. Yeah. Guys, started getting chest wrinkles sleeping on my side. Yes. So, and that's all I can see because of my load. She needs the sausage. My dog takes it. This is what happens is you get your chest wrinkles.

Save the wrinkles in the middle. Can you get Botox to stop that? The cleavy wrinkles. A cleave wrinkle from squishing your tat-ats together. Tat-at-at. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, earlier this year, you mentioned a few times, Hayley,

you went to Bali. Are we doing a break on Bali? We are doing a break on Bali. Tell you what. Oh, I had the time of my life. I did have a small scooter accident, though. You've got to be careful. It's easy to forget when you go to Bali,

when you look around and you see the scooter accidents, you see the drunk Australians. Yeah. It's loose. It's easy to forget that it's a very strict country already. Indonesia. Yeah. Yes, very.

They're not so strict with their tourists because they need tourists so they'll let them get away with tiny outfits and drunkenness. Yeah. All sorts. But yeah, as a people, what's the main religion there?

I think it's Bintangs. Yeah. I don't know. No, because we were there during Hinduism. Right. We were there during a Hindu holiday of sorts. Right. And, like, basically on that morning,

everyone had gone to the temples. Well, at the moment, Indonesia is set to pass new draconian criminal codes. Wait, so they'll go dragons? Yeah, yeah. Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick. I don't know. So they are going to outlaw

sex outside of marriage is one of them. So tourists... Who do they outlaw? Well, they're going to make it illegal so that if you're caught... So if you're holidaying in Bali or Indonesia

and you're caught outside of marriage as you are currently, one year in prison. Wait, so how are they going to catch people? Ah, gotcha. Hinduism, you say. This has got Christianity written all over it.

It really does. I thought Hinduism was pretty chill. I thought it was a chill religion. Not as chill as Buddhists, but I thought it was pretty chill. I beg your pardon. So in Indonesia, it's predominantly Muslim, 86%. But in the island of Bali, it's the exception. We're about 80% of those people identify as Hindu.

They're still governed by a predominantly Muslim country. So yeah, there will be stiff penalties for abortion. No, there won't be. Yeah, nothing stiff. Black magic, in commas. Black magic? Is abortion black magic? No, well,'t be. Yeah, nothing, Steph. Black magic in commas. Black magic? Is abortion black magic? No, well it says comma, black magic, insulting the president and co-

habitation before marriage. So even just living together? Yeah, I'd say so, yeah. What? So I don't know if they are just going to turn a blind eye to all the tourists. A bit like how, you know, gay travellers, Dubai and yeah. No, I don't know if Dubai turns too much.

I was going to say Dubai turns a blind eye to, like, drinking and such, but you hear about people still in those countries. Yeah, I don't know if you check in together as a gay couple in Dubai. I think even as an unmarried couple, you have to say you're, like, brother and sister or something and they'll give you two beds. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Which is gross.

Yeah. So, I mean, that's just something to be aware of. Currently, yeah, about to be passed they say. Wow. So, man, that's backwards. I don't know. I mean, I love Bali, but then, like, you support these kind of backwards laws, don't you, when you go there? I mean, yeah.

I mean, I don't know a way to comment on what a religion believes, but it definitely feels like a step backwards. Yeah. To make it illegal, you can have your own sort of moral opinion on things like that and say, oh, you shouldn't do this because this is what I believe, but to criminalise

it... But yeah, they would apply for both Indonesian citizens and foreigners. And your business groups in Indonesia have been warning on the impact of tourism. Because it's only going to take a couple of people to get charged with this and end up in prison for people to start saying, well, we shouldn't go to Bali. I wonder if Chappelle Corby could write a list of sort of some hot helpful tips of how to survive

in a Balinese prison. Yeah, I don't, I mean, I went past that prison when I was in Bali. And they love pointing it out. They do. The Aussies and the Kiwis

all know about Chappelle Corby and they say that's where Chappelle Corby stayed. And you just, like, that looks horrible. Do you know, Chappelle Corby's really gotten into

resin clock making. Has she? Yeah. Do you follow her on? I follow her on the gram with great interest, and she's really into making this sort of beach scene resin clocks. It's so expensive, resin. Very expensive.

So I thought you were setting up a gag. Nope. I was like, where is this? I was trying to pick the pun you were going to. She makes clocks. Oh, my God. It looks like a resin. That's not bad. She does look like a clock. You know what? No, no, no. That's not too bad. Beautiful.

That's not bad. Yeah, there she is. One of those for the bitch. One of those for the bitch. One of these for the bitch. One of those for the bitch. And support. Play.

ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six Q's Auto in Henderson is under investigation Wakakotahi

discovered numerous significant inspection errors at Q's Auto in Henderson goodness

every one of the 2674 active warranted fitnesses or issued by them

will be revoked and you have to go and get another one what a pain like and 674 active warrant of fitnesses or issued by them will be revoked. And you have to go and get another one. What a pain. Like, it's not your fault. Who's paying for that? Yeah, exactly. You shouldn't have to pay for the second warrant.

And then you've got to go out of your way this time of the year. What an absolute pain. Speaking of cars in West Auckland, there's an incident on Lincoln Road that's been going on for a while. Well, because Hayley and I saw it on the way to work this morning. Right.

At different times. Lots of police cars. Yeah. I saw two police cars, two ambulances, and then you saw a couple more. And I'm just looking at the webcams of the Lincoln Road on off-ramps from both directions and the traffic's pretty chocker. Okay. So that's why.

Avoid the area. There's cordons and stuff. But you have to get another. Warrant of Fitness. If you got these. They're not legally liable for the... Waka Kota, he said, we are not legally liable for the costs

relating to Warrant of Fitness revocations. They'll revoke it. Yeah. But they won't pay for it. That's rough. Yeah, who's going to pay for it? Cues. Yeah, I don't know. But they won't pay for it. That's rough. Yeah. Who's going to pay for it? Cues.

Yeah. I don't know. But I've got the top six signs your car definitely shouldn't have a warrant. Number six on the list. It's a horse. There's been a paperwork error there if you've got a warrant of fitness to car on your horse. My Landry, I've got a warrant of fitness last week. How?

You sound like Sade. Did you take it here? Did you take it here? Did you take it here? Very rude. No, I didn't. Yeah, this place. I took it to a very reputable dealer. Okay.

They said they were just, a guy came in to get a warrant of fitness. Yeah. Had just bought the car. Yeah. But the warrant was due. So he took it in and he was like, oh yeah, I just bought it. And look, it's got a recent warrant, so it should be sweet. And they're like, have a look again.

Someone had, you know how they hole punch out like 2022 is hole punched out. If that's the year it's got a recent warrant, so it should be sweet. And they're like, have a look again. Someone had, you know how they hole punch out, like 2022 is hole punched out if that's the year it's due. It was, the warrant expired in 2021. They'd punched it out of 2022 and taken the punch hole out and put it in 2021. Oh my God. And he said he had, he just looked real quick when he bought it, looked and was like, oh yeah, it's got a current warrant.

And bought it and it didn't. It's cheeky. Could you do anything about that? 100%. You were sold a car under, like, false pretense. Wow. Cheeky. So cheeky.

Yeah. So just keep an eye out for that, because if it's done with the same size hole punch, it will slip into that old hole. How do you get the hole through the glass? How do you get the hole punch through the glass? You peel it back. Ah, hard. Just smash. Yeah, hard. Just smash.

Yeah, right. Fascinating. And then you've got a glass fillet. I mean, it's why Novus is bloody absolutely so much money. Number five on the list of the top six signs your car shouldn't have a warrant. It doesn't exist. Whoa. Whoa, man.

So it doesn't need a warrant. It's just a hologram? Is it? We're all a simulation, man. Dude, doesn't need a warrant. It's just a hologram? Is it? We're all a simulation, man. Dude, exactly. We're just cells. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do I need a warrant? Because we're all just vibrating cells in this universe made of space dust, man. Oh, man. Whoa. Whoa. Number four on the list of the top six signs your car shouldn't have a warrant. You sold it in 1997. Yep.

It's not your problem anymore. Stop paying for its warrant. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six signs your car shouldn't have a warrant. It's in the bottom of the ocean. That's another place where you don't need a warrant. How did they get there? That's a story for another time.

Number two on the list of the top six signs your car shouldn't have a warrant. The wheels are square. I mean, I actually don't know if that is one of the warrant checks they do. Yeah, wheels around. If it's got tread. I think as long as it's got tread and they're on.

And they're on, yes. It would be a rough ride. You'd probably get up some stairs easier though. Maybe. And they're on, yes. Donk. Donk. Donk. Donk. It would be a rough ride. Uncomfortable drive. You'd probably get up some stairs easier, though. Maybe. You're kind of gripping on. And number one on the list of the top six signs your car shouldn't have a warrant. It's just been through the car crusher.

Yeah. I don't think you're going to get a warrant. No need after that. I don't think you're going to get a warrant. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Not bloody long to go now. Not bloody long to go at all. Well, yeah, 5. That is today's top secret. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Not bloody long to go now. Not bloody long to go at all.

Well, yeah, 5th of December today. 20 days. 20 days. Can't wait. Well, 19 days and however many hours, but let's just say 20 days. 19 sleeps. That's the better way to do it. So we'll get our Christmas tree at the weekend.

Cool. A real one. A real Christmas tree, yep. Yeah, you do this every year. They're not doing Christmas trees anymore. They sold their farm. Really? Apparently somebody said it's been there for as long as they can remember. This is the people you

get yours from. This is the people we always go so yeah, if you're anywhere near West Auckland, Pukie Road in Kiumiu, you might as well go and get a Christmas tree from there because otherwise I guess it's just going through the chipper when they sell their farm because the people who are taking it over apparently aren't going to do Christmas trees.

I've always wondered how people that do Christmas tree farms make any money. Like you're just literally your only time of business. No, but you do other stuff as well. What do you do? Well, I think they've got cattle and storage. Still though, to have a paddock of trees that are growing for a whole year is not that. But look, a big Christmas tree.

There were big Christmas trees. Big, thick, luscious, well-shaped Christmas trees. Well over $100. Yeah, but you could fill up like 800 townhouses there. Oh, yeah. Sell the land. Yeah. Sell the land.

And townhouses, though. Yeah. Yeah. And townhouses. So we went and I put up a little video picking the great Smith Christmas tree debate begins because that's all it is. Shardé likes a small Christmas tree. I've always wanted, because our house is gay bull.

Gay bull, yeah. And, no, not gay, gay bull. Gay bull. And in the middle of the house, the ceiling's quite tall. Are your bulls gay? How can you tell? A lot of humping. Yeah, right.

In the middle of the house, the ceiling's quite tall, but on the outside, it's got to fit under the small side. One year, I just want to get a massive one that hits the peak. Oh, yeah, that goes right over the top. You should. But then the problem is it's so much wider at the bottom, it would take up a lot more square footage at the bottom. Yes.

So that's always the debate. And I always say to the girls, let's bully mum into getting a big one. But there's no bullying. You should have. You should have when you were renovating is actually growing a pine tree. Through the floor. Through the floor. And then every year it's there.

Perfect. Yeah. That's the only way. That would be cool. Perfect. That's the only way. How do you stop it growing? Just keep cutting it.

Keep trimming it. Yeah. Because that's what I want, is I want just the top. Just the top of the tree. Because I only want a petite tree. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Well, there were some petite trees there.

Were there? Yeah, there were some petite trees there. They were thick trees. Okay. T-H-I-C-C. Whoa, that's me. That's me. That's what I want.

I want some backs and squats bit more money, those ones. Some facts and squats. Some little squat boys. But I put up the video and I had received, I would say, half a dozen messages from people in the South Island saying, I wish we had those sorts of Christmas trees down here. What do you mean? And I said, that's what I said, what do you mean? And this woman said, it must be the climate But our Christmas trees Don't grow as well

We don't have The thick lush boys Oh they've got those Like real wiry Thin ones Oh yeah You know those ones That are skinny and tall

Wildling pine Is a real problem Like it's when pine trees Just kind of like spread And they grow And they gross And they're in the places And they kill everything

Around them And they're bad bad bad But they kill everything around them and bad, bad, bad. But is that also a problem due to the climate? Well, I'm just trying to think. They have pine forests in the South Island, right? Yeah. But do they take longer to grow so they grow differently? Because a pine tree that you grow for the wood,

you want a big, thick, straight trunk. Yeah. But the pine tree that you grow for the wood, you want a big, thick, straight trunk. Yeah. But the pine tree for Christmas trees, you want lots of foliage. Yeah. And it doesn't matter, you know. Are they different? Are they the different kind of pine? Pine is for the artist.

Oh. It's the pine tree, right? Where did you post this picture of your tree? Oh, no, it was a story. It's disappeared. Oh. Why? I want to have a look at your tree. It was lush. It was perfect. It was disappeared. Oh. Why? I want to have a look at your tree.

It was lush. It was perfect. It was a great size. They're perfect trees, aren't they? Yeah. So maybe the South Island's got a growing issue because of the um, it's more southern. Is it a climate thing? I don't know. Would the South Island be better to

buck the trend of the New Zealand pine tree tree Christmas tree and go for a more traditional Douglas fir, which grows more like a Christmas tree in a colder climate. But it doesn't look like a Christmas tree. Douglas firs do. They're the original Christmas trees. Are they?

Yeah, they're the ones that are all like classic American Christmas movies. Those aren't pine trees. Those are Douglas fir. Douglas fir is the original Christmas tree. We just grew pine trees. Those are Douglas fir. Douglas fir is the original Christmas tree. We just grew pine here because they grow so quick. I'm having a look. Right. Oh, no, they're a bit spindly.

Well, I've just Googled a Christmas tree farm in Christchurch. Look at those. Those look all right, don't they? Those look nice, don't they? What are people on about? Are they moaning about nothing? Someone said most of the forest are in the South Islands and the Nelson Marlborough region. Oh, so Christchurch. Don't they? Those look nice, don't they? What are people on about? Are they moaning about nothing? Someone said most of the forest are in the South Islands and the Nelson Marlborough region.

Oh, so Christchurch maybe struggles. Maybe there's a certain line it gets to. Yeah. Yeah, see, look at those trees. Are they importing them or are they growing there? No, they're growing here. This one here is a needle fresh Christmas trees. And they look all right, don't they?

When the first person said it to me, I was like, maybe they're just going to a dud Christmas tree But then Look at that person That man's got a Christmas tree there Does that look nice? That looks nice doesn't it? Looks alright

Okay someone said Pine trees take five years longer to grow down south So they don't grow as many down there They can grow them quicker And make more money off them up north Of course if you save five years on a pine Could we chuck them on the inter-islander? Get them some lush northeast.

Oh, yeah. I'd die by the time they got there. Yeah, they would. Not if we dug up the whole soil around it. I find ideas. Yeah. I get served lots of videos of those big sorts of machines that they park and they go scoop,

and they scoop entire trees out of the ground and everything. Wow. Can you transplant a big tree? Because the root system is so massive. Yeah, it would depend what kind of tree it is. I don't know if you came with a palm, eh? Because the palms go knotty. They like stay quite close.

Yes, we sold a palm once actually. They scoop. But yeah, I didn't know. That's fascinating. Yeah, so you wouldn't grow as many Christmas trees because if it takes so much longer, it wouldn't be worth it at all, would it? It might take another year to get a decent-sized Christmas tree

and then is it going to be as decent? Yeah, well, I mean, there's places in Christchurch of Google that are doing them, so... Well, shut up. Quit your moaning. What are the bloody Christmas trees up top like? What's Whangarei's Christmas tree? Fluffy bushy boys.

Fluffy little bushy boys. Now you've got your Christmas tree up, is it a festive in your house? Yeah, there's a festive tinge. There's a tinge in the house? There's a tinge of festive. Yeah, the smell's good. Yeah. Because the apartment building that I'm in just got a Christmasinge in the house? There's a tinge offensive. Yeah, the smell's good. Yeah. Because the apartment building that I'm in just got a Christmas tree in the lobby,

and every time I walk in, I'm like, oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah. But they've done a thing where all the residents bring their own ornaments, and it's all mismatched, and I want to vomit every time. Oh, yeah. That's a bit gross. That's so embarrassing. I know.

It's so embarrassing. They should have a uniform like the one in our studio. It's beautiful. Oh, my God. It's classy and elegant. We've decided. Classy and elegant. I tried to get amongst the Christmas spirit.

I went to the QMU Christmas show. Oh, yeah? On Friday night. Were you boozed? Well, I went to go and support Vaughn's children because Vaughn didn't go. And I thought that'd be so. I played eight and a half consecutive hours of D&D. Now we can clear some space in the show, I'll give you a recap.

So you played nerd games and while your children were performing on stage. Well, one. Yeah, so one of them was performing... Hayley was having the impression both of my children were up there. She knows them. We were really far back from the stage and really quite deep in the

Prosecco. Isn't it Prosecco, it was me and Aaron. And then I saw Sade and, wait, which one was on stage? Indy. Indy. And I said, oh, we can't wait to see Augie on stage. And then she was like, no, it's Indy. And I was like, the whole time I've been screaming out the wrong kid's name. And then I said, no, there she is then.

She was like, that's neither of them. Wow, how many bottles of Prosecco? Oh, before we left, plenty, and we had cocktails. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Now, it's probably not news that

after some time in a relationship, things can cool down a bit. You know, they can sort of cool off and maybe your romantic sides, you know, they don't come out as often as when you were first dating. And Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington has prescribed for couples that are suffering from this lack of intimacy the six-second kiss theory. So he says the longer that you're together in a relationship,

the less and less that we are kissing intimately. So you always make out when you're first together. And then now it's like a hard when you leave the house and that's sort of it. And then, hey, how was your date? That's sort of it. He says that couples should

kiss for at least six seconds non-stop twice a day. Now to me, this just seems absurd. That's a pash. So you're saying that... Are you saying just go... No, no, no.

No. Like, kiss intimately. I'm always down for a bit of a pash. I know, but like he's saying... Every day, twice. When you leave the house and when you come home... Well, Sade's asleep when you leave the house. That'd be weird, wouldn't it?

What are you doing? I'm doing what the doctor said. It's so weird. Well, you can do it when you get home and then when you go to bed. Beer, a six-second patch to increase intimacy and to return you back to that first, those early days. Well, why don't you try that when you get home? I'm going to be so put off, so taken aback. If we went in for our usual kiss and I just went

macking. I just got in there. You got really six seconds. Imagine kissing this whole time. Three, four, five, six. It's too long.

I don't know why this is so long. Which is weird because at the start of a relationship, you would. You patch all the time you make out. He says that it creates a, it brings back into your relationship a ritual of connection, physical touch. It can be a bid for connection if you're sort of maybe, you know, like missing that from that person and you sort of leading this can get that from them.

It can turn you on. It boosts fondness and admiration. It builds appreciation between you. It can lead to humpty dumpties. And it can be self-soothing because of the dopamine. Right. Well, there you go. Try it.

Lowering your cortisone level. Try it when you get home. My cortisone levels are famously high. Please know when I get home today, I'm going to... Maybe you want to report back and see how... I thought you were going to say, do you want to record it? No. Report back, let us know how it goes.

I'll report back and let you know how my six seconds... If you stop at five, do you have to restart? Yeah. Or can you just tack on an extra second? Yeah, but a one second pash is silly. Yeah. Start again. Start again.

A TikTok. A man posted a TikTok and it has caused a lot of debate about advent calendars. And I think he's got a point. I've always kind of thought this. His main argument, his main point is that we are opening advent calendars all wrong. How? What is? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 62, 63, 64, 64, 64, 64, 64, 64, 64, that we're doing it all backwards, we should be starting at 24. And working our way down to one.

It's a countdown. Yeah, it's a countdown to Christmas. And then, like, you know, when you finish on one, it's one sleep till Christmas. No, it stands for the date that you open it. I understand that. Me too.

But it should be a countdown. It's counting down. Often the big one is the 24th. I think the big one should be at the start of the month to kick it off. Like, let's get going because on the 24th it doesn't need to be big because you know tomorrow's going to be Christmas. No, but you're working towards the big gif. We got one. We got sent one from Whittaker's this year.

It's beautiful. It's like a material one and it's got little pockets and stuff. But it says. Ooh la la. It must be nice and it is. And they sent us all these chocolates to fill it up with as well. Right. You know what's on the 24th?

A whole block of Hazella. Now, I don't know if you're supposed to put a whole block. Wait, how big is this? A whole block. It's like a meter. It's like a three foot across and maybe two foot. Jesus. Why are you using imperial measurements?

Yeah, what's with the feet? I was just thinking that. Why did you do that? Feet? We're not in America. But I always find with a small one, if I say three feet, people are like, oh? I was just thinking that. Why did you do that? Feet? We're not in America. But I always find with a small one, if I say three feet, people are like, oh, yeah, three foot. You either say it's a metre and a half or it's four subways.

Well, three foot's not a metre and a half. It's 90 centimetres. Oh, God. I just guessed that. But if I said 90 centimetres, it's a hard thing to know it's not. It's just short of a yardstick. Three foot. It's just short of a metre.

It's a, it to know its structure. It's just short of a yardstick. Three foot. It's just short of a... It's a... It's a Lee. It's a... Yeah. You know, it's one 32nd of a... And how much does it weigh? It's so much that I hung a little 3M hook on the back of our clock. So I was like, that's cool. The clock's there and the thing's ripped it off.

Oh, wow. God. Is that heavy? Pounds wise, there and the thing's ripped it off. Oh, wow. God. Is that heavy? Pounds-wise, it could be three pounds. Four pounds, yeah. But this says at the top, I'm very thankful. I don't want to sound, you know, ungrateful. It says, countdown to Christmas.

So to me, it should start at 24 and we count down. Why did one sleep to go. Why did Hayley and I not get sent one of these from Whittaker's? I also, yeah. I was like, when are we going to bring this up? Absurd. It's far too big. You're by yourself.

I could add a whole block of Hazel I buy myself thing. I know, but they can't be behind that. They should be. They can't be behind it. And then on the 28th, ZM has to issue a statement that Fletch died sometime before Christmas. We only just discovered his body and his cats had a good gnaw on it. Oh, yeah, the cat would.

And the last thing he ate was an entire block of hazella. And leading up to that, he was eating a block of hazella a day. We believe that Whittaker's may have been intricately involved in his passing. They don't want that sort of publicity. That's probably why they didn't send a single man an entire advent calendar for a family. This is why I think this guy has a point. It's a countdown.

And the advent calendar should be... No, it's the dates. So you're against this. Absolutely. The 1st of December, you open up the first window. The 2nd, you open up the first window. The 2nd, you open up the 2nd window. No. Well, I don't get to open up any windows.

That should be silly little poll tomorrow. Should advent calendars or just a poll. It should just be a poll. Yeah. Because those cheap ones you get at the supermarket or, you know, the budget ones, they're only a few dollars. The numbers are all scattered. Yeah, and they're all the same chocolates.

You're not getting a special chocolate on the last day. It doesn't matter. And I like the idea of you open it, 13, 13 sleeps the guy. Yeah. It's not the 13th. It's the 13 sleeps the guy. I like that. You're counting down.

You're trying to get yourself excited, and that's why we do lists backwards. Yeah, exactly. Start at 10. What's that moment going to be? And you're excited to get down excited and that's why we do lists backwards. Yeah, exactly. Start at 10, what's up, and you're excited to get down to one. You work your way from 24,

which is a big number, down to one. Yeah, but 24 is the biggest gift, which would be the headline, and then number one is the worst gift. It's the kick off

the festive season. It's a big one to get yourself going. I'll start at one, you start at 24, we'll meet in the middle. I mean, this is the great part about democracy, you know, we can just do whatever we want, really. Yeah, that's true.

At the moment, there's countries where people don't even know if they're going to have, you know, freedom of their own choices about their bodies, and we're deciding what order to eat chocolate in, aren't we fortunate? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, a new study has found that two out of three people or couples. Two out of three ain't bad. Two out of three couples or people are doing DIY projects themselves

or aspects of a DIY project. This would be so up because I know so many people when we talk about the work we're doing on our house who are going, oh my God, I could never be bothered. I'd just rather pay someone to do it. Yeah, that's the thing. Painting sucks. Painting is hard because I'm, and I've found this with like when I've plastered something

myself, I just see every little imperfection and I'm like, okay, that's got to be redone. I've got to do this until it's perfect. I'm trying to like remember the bigger picture of it and be like, no one's going to look at that little rough bit. No, I know they don't. No one's going to look at that. I do. I see I know they don't. No one's going to look at that. But I do. I see.

Like, I still see spots on my wall that I'm like, I noticed that. That's why, yeah, if somebody else does it, then you're less likely to notice it. If you've done it and you saw it there, you'll never not be able to see it. But because of inflation and the way the economy is at the moment and people are wanting to cut back and save money, people are like, well, you know what? I'll get the builder to put up the walls and even maybe a plasterer to do the plastering, but I'll paint. Or I'll do this aspect of the project.

Yeah. And so more people are doing it themselves and that is leading to more DIY disasters. Yeah. Where, you know, it's actually probably better just to pay someone to do it. I know, because painting, I mean it can look bad,

but painting's pretty safe. But, like, you can do your own electrics to a certain point. You've got to get it signed off, though, right? You do have to get it signed off. Sparky's going to come around and sign it off. I've signed it all off. But you can get in there. See, as a person who's had a wall fire with, like, dodgy electrical.

An internal wall fire? That wasn't us. That was the previous owner. That's because somebody did their own wiring 50, 60 years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean a lot of people building their own decks. You're allowed to build small structures without consent. Yeah.

To a certain level. 30 square metres shed. 30 square metres baby. 30 square metres. 30 square metres. That's big. That's an apartment. Yeah. You could literally build an apartment. But it can't have plumbing in it. Can't be plumbed. Can't be plumbed.

You've got to wheelie in a bucket. Yeah. Well, I wanted to ask the question this morning. When have you had a DIY disaster? You're like, you know what? I'm going to save money. I'll do this myself. I can do this.

And then you end up having to pay more because someone had to come and clean up the mess you made, take it down, and then redo it. That would be the most embarrassing thing is when you make such a disaster that you have to bring in a professional and then be embarrassed all over again. Yeah, and it costs you literally three, four times as much. Yeah. I haven't, I think I've been lucky. I mean, I've had some sort of unsuccessful. You look at it, you're like, oh, that's rough.

Yeah. But I haven't've had some sort of unsuccessful. You look at it, you're like, oh, that's rough. Yeah. But I haven't had any disasters yet. Yet. This is our biggest project. What about the other day when you tried to dig your own hole and you cut through the water mains? Multiple times. These things happen. At least it wasn't.

That's a DIY disaster. I'd rather cut through a water pipe than a power cord. Yeah, that's true. You know, if we're talking about digging through things. But there'd be people that have done that. They're like, well, I'll just dig my own hole. Oh, and my water mains, I could literally, like, take five steps and flick off the pump switch.

But if you dig through some mains that are powered by, like, city pressure, oh, they're going, there'll be a water fountain in your backyard. You've got a big problem. Yeah. Or the fibre cable, and your whole town's got no internet. Yeah, well, that happened when the local election signs were on, eh? That's right. Someone hammered their signs through the fibre

and cut off all those houses. You cut off your fibre to your own house twice now with your renovation? Just a little cord, yeah, twice. Twice. It's getting expensive. You pay for it every time. It's like a little skinny little wire.

Well, you can't break it, can you? Otherwise, yeah. Yeah. Isn't there a glass thing inside it? Fibre? It's like glass. That's fibre. It's glass.

That's why you can't bend the cords too much. Well, we've been bending them willy-pinnily. Hence why you've been paying for chorus call-outs. Chorus that keep coming out. We're like, hey, us again. We'll snap the cable. All right. 0800 DALS at Emma's number.

We want you to give us a call now and text 9696. Whenever you had a DIY disaster, maybe you tried to save some money doing it yourself, but it ended up costing more, or it just didn't look good maybe. Yeah. Ugly. Or maybe your partner said, I've got this.

And they didn't got this. And they didn't got this. All right. Give us a call. Talking about those DIY disasters, two thirds of people, an increase, are turning to DIY in these tough times. Somebody said, I work in an electrical wholesaler and honestly, at least once a week, we have people come in who have dug through their power mains. No. And they all say, oh, I'm lucky to be alive.

Isn't there a thing for that where you can check? One, two, four, before you dig. Oh, that's it. But it's also supposed to be 600 deep and covered in electrical tape. Covered in a tape that's like danger. Yeah. Digging and you see any orange or like if you hit some scoria or whatever, I'd probably stop, I reckon.

Yeah, but it's supposed to be, Vaughan. Supposed to be. It's not. Yeah. Well, I don't know when that law came in, but yeah, lots of houses were built before that, weren't they? Yes, yes, they were, Vaughan. Yes, they were.

Yes, they were. Somebody said, my DIY disaster, I sliced my leg open with an angle grinder trying to sand my deck. That is deck, D-E-C-K. It was a 10 centimetre by 2 centimetre gash. 15 stitches required. Oh, no. How are you sanding a... You used an angle grinder to sand. Yeah, I was just thinking that.

You used a sander to sand. That's where they went wrong. Don't sand with an angle grinder. That's where they went. They probably don't need to be told that. I think they know. They've picked up the wrong tool there. Talking about DIY disasters.

Yeah, when it goes bad, when you're trying to save some money, which is good, but then you have to spend more money, which is good. Yeah, but more. You have to spend more money, which is bad. Which is bad. To get it fixed because it wasn't good. Yeah, well, more people turning to DIY with the cost of living at the moment.

Yep, yep. Somebody said it's not only DIY that does it. Professionals make mistakes too. Yeah, of course. My friend had professionals during a renovation. They dug through the water and the power at the same time. Oh, that's a good experience. That's a recipe for disaster.

But at least it's on them to fix and they have insurance, right? If they're still alive when they dig through the water and the power at the same time. Yeah. That's going to be a bloody spot. Dale, what happened with the DIY disaster? So a couple of years ago our neighbour, we had piped gas and he was doing some digging in

his backyard and he hit the gas pipe and gas went everywhere and it was like flowing out and then two like fire trucks came the police came and they had to close like one of the main roads in Christchurch for like three hours. Did they had to close, like, one of the main roads in Christchurch for,

like, three hours. Did they have to pay for any of that, like, using those services? I think so. He, like, came round that night with a box of beer to say sorry. And he said that he had hoped his insurance would pay for it. Hoped. Oh, my God. Yeah.

We don't need beer. We're not leaping. We're high on natural gas. Wow, that's a nightmare. Like, how much do you reckon he was just saving, like, digging that hole? Like, in the end, nothing. Yeah, yeah. He would have ended up paying a lot of money.

Yeah, I think it would be, yeah, tens of thousands of dollars, I think. Was he just doing it with a spade or was it a digger job? No, just with a shovel, I think. How the hell? You shouldn't be able to put a shovel through a gas, mate. Yeah. You know, you shouldn't be able to. Well, you wouldn't think so, no.

No, it must be very sharp shovel. Thanks, you're cool, Dale. Jess, when did the DIY go wrong? So it was this year sometime and and I was a few wines deep, and I thought, you know what, I'll just do it myself. Always a great place to renovate from. Yeah. I had some time.

And my BMW had this, like, charger built into it, and this interconsole. Must be nice, Jess. It was very bulky. It took up a lot of space. And it was obsolete. It was for, like, the older iPhones with the square plug. Oh, yeah.

And I really wanted like my precious space. So I like got a screwdriver and took all the hardware out. That's fine. And then there was this cable. And I was like, well, that can't be important. Like it's just an iPhone charger cable. I'll just cut it right out. So what I did is I cut it right out.

And then the lights on the dash just lit up like a beautiful Christmas tree. And there was all these different little error messages going. And it turns out that cable was somehow connected to the iDrive system and the transmission. Oh, my God. What is wrong with you? Don't you sort of go, that doesn't look important and cut it out? I don't tango with modern cars.

I don't take anything off. That's wise. I took a thing off once and I didn't do anything. I just took it off. I was like, too much. I couldn't even go back in properly. How much did that cost you, Jess, to get a new cable? It wasn't too bad in the end.

I think it was about $300, but a lot of humility because they laughed at me. Yeah. I totally, I never, if anything ever happens like this, I will never tell a professional I was the one that was at fault. No, you'd have to drive the car into a lake.

Yeah. No, I'd be like, the bloody missus had a go at this. I'd throw anyone under the bus. Oh my God, wow. Absolutely. So rude. This mate of mine,

this mate of mine said he knew what he was doing. Turns out he doesn't and he wouldn't bring him to get a fix. Yeah, but they can read that from a mile away. Oh, yeah, they know that's code for that's you. I absolutely don't care. Ed, what was your DOA disaster?

Hey, g'day, guys. Renovating an en-suite, as you do. Yeah. Working with the old man. We were trying to install a toilet, one of those in-built toilets. Oh, yeah yeah with the internal system oh yeah yeah yeah bloody nightmare yeah um had the old plumbing uh the old plot like the water inlet um capped off and i was we do a lot of standing around just having a chat about

what we're going to do of course yeah yeah And also, I was trying to show off, and I gave the plumbing a bit of a tap, just talking about, oh, yeah, she'll be right, that kind of attitude. And it actually broke the elbow joint, and so all the water came, like, spurting out. Oh. A couple of seconds to figure out what was going on,

and then the actual tap to cap off the water is under the house. And you have to, like, army crawl to get it. So Dad and me busted and got under there while I was just, like, buffing towels and trying to cover the water as much as I could. How much did this end up costing you? It was a few hundred dollars. Jesus. And it took about three days

For the en suite to dry Oh my god Disaster Ed thanks you called A couple of texts to finish Decided to paint my son's room I put the paint on the step of the ladder And my son knocked on the door

And I said don't come in But it was too late He already opened the door And the ladder went down Along with a whole bucket of paint and now we have a very large mat in his room

yes I bet you do you're not recarpeting it we're just putting a mat over top of it until we deal with it later we tried to rip

tried to rip out the handrail out of our concrete steps I ended up stabbing myself in the leg with a crowbar

when I pulled it back with force on a positive note I got the rail out too. Oh, that's good. It was worth it. Ups and downs. It's been a hot minute, hasn't it? Yeah, it's time for Better Can Guess Your Mum's Name.

Rosie joins us. Good morning, Rosie. Good morning. All right, Vaughn now has five questions to ask you about your mum and then 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. If he can do that, you win $100 cash. That would be amazing. That would make my day.

Do we have the radio on in the background there? Are we on a hands-free switch? there, or is your phone just echoing? Are we on a hands-free switch? Are we on a hands-free or something? Just a little bit. Yeah, I'll take you off. Give me two seconds. Okay.

How about now? Oh, my gosh! Rosie! The shift in quality. Oh, the quality has just gone up a notch there. Rosie, it's been a hell of a year for me on the Better Can Guess Your Mum's Name. You must be at like 80%. Oh, at least.

Your psychic abilities. I listen to you guys every morning doing this, so I'm really interested if you get it. Thank you, Rosie. Why are you interested? Is it a hard one?

We wouldn't. That's not a question. That's not a question. I'm not going to answer that. Okay, first question. You know, I was going to say I'm on a hell of a run, so what I've decided to do is I've decided to paint myself into a corner. All questions today, Christmas themed.

Oh, okay, good. Yeah, good. My first question is, does your mum like Christmas? Now, I want you to think about this, because yesterday I found out Sade's mum's never really liked Christmas. But she loves decorating things. Yeah, she finds it too stressful. And I said, I stopped sort of blaming her for making the stress up on herself.

It's only as stressful as you want it to be. But yeah, she said she always dreaded Christmas. Yeah, but that's... I mean, I know that you contribute on Christmas. But a mother... Whoever's doing the hosting is doing the... I think my mum likes the family aspect of Christmas, but she does get, like, super stressed.

She does get super stressed. It's a patsy. Well, I might put a Robin on the list then because that's my mother-in-law's name and she's... Yeah, chuck a patsy on there because she loves being with the family, but, you know, it comes down to her and her delicious ham. I tell you what, she's got a couple of hams.

Yeah, there's a lot of food pressure. The food pressure on mums in the kitchen. Yeah. Then I'm going to put... A lot of food pressure. I'm going to put a little under. Leanne. Leanne's gets stressed at Christmas.

Leanne is so stressed. Leanne's is stressed. Leanne's is stressed at the drop of a hat. Yeah, yeah. Leanne's are very stressed about prize giving. Oh, my God. That's why she's always supp at the drop of a hat. Yeah, yeah. Leanne's a very stressed about, um, prize givings. Oh my god, that's why she's always supping on a shardy. That's out of your hands Leanne. Let somebody else worry.

I can imagine a Sharon just getting really stressed at Christmas too. Yeah, I've got a Sharon. I'm gonna put a Carol, but that's probably more because of Christmas Carol. Okay. Like I might have been like on to this a long time ago, you know? Yeah, you always need a Karen on there too. Yeah, put a Karen. Can you put a Claudia as in Mrs. Claus?

Oh, yeah. I can put it. I don't feel, I don't feel lousy. Any psychic connection to that whatsoever. Leave it off the list. Okay. Don't put it on. We've got a Helen. Okay.

Got Helen stressed out. Oh, yeah, they get stressed. They get stressed. They're all wound up. Go outside and ask Helen if she needs some help. Yeah, I've got an auntie, Helen. She doesn't like flies in the kitchen. You know mums don't like flies in the kitchen.

I don't like flies in the kitchen. Shade always tells me off because if there's flies, I just feel like, bugger it. I just get out a big can of fly spray and just walk around the whole house. Might as well do a crop spray at the same time. You and Aaron does it too. Like, bombs the house.

Yeah, bomb the whole house. You're gassing yourself. It's a purge. We're purging all the flies. Shut the doors. We're purging. Yeah. And then you just go hard out.

And it's great when that first one hits the bench and starts doing upside down spins. And you're like, that's right. Tell the others. I may love to tell them, but I'm dying. Flick! Off the bench. Flick! And they always end up in the slidey window rails

or the ranch slide rails, don't they? Sorry, Rosie. Back to you and your mum. Back to Rosie. What are you getting mum for Christmas this year? If it's a surprise, maybe we can talk about last year. What you got your mum for Christmas last year? If it's a surprise, maybe we can talk about last year, what you got your mum for Christmas last year. Um, I didn't get my mum anything for Christmas last year. Rosie!

Rosie! Rosie! She birthed you? I know, and she's amazing. But, um, yeah, it's all about my kids Christmas now. All right, so you've got kids, so it's moved a little bit. Yeah, gotcha. Yeah, my mum's always like,

no, we don't need anything. Yeah, my mum is like, the gift of Christmas is my grandchildren. Oh, wow. Wow, that just

made Hayley feel extra guilty. Oh, you shut up. Patsy's listening. She gets no gifts and no grandchildren. Is that giving you some ideas on

some mum's names? Yeah, I'm feverishly writing down. Yeah, okay. Some mums' names here. And she's a grandmum as well. She is. She's a grandmother, yeah. She's going to have a granny's name as well.

Yeah, maybe Maud or Beryl. No, because granny's names... We've changed. The granny's names have slightly evolved now. Yeah. That is... Quite a few, I'd imagine, quite a few of the mums that we've guessed for mums' names

are grannies as well. But grannies are Yvonne. Liz? Liz? Did you say? Yeah. Yeah, put a Liz on there. With a I'll put a, brackets, Liz, close brackets, a Beth. A Beth, yeah.

A Beth. I might put a Beth. Could be a Beth. Beth's a bit young, isn't it? All right. What does mum's Christmas afternoon look like? My mum's, like, is she a relaxer or is she all go getting ready for the next meal? Like, what does she do after Christmas lunch? After Christmas lunch, she is all relaxed with a couple of glasses of Savvy Blanc, my mum.

A Savvy Blanc? Oh, yes. Couple of glasses. Mum likes bottles couple of glasses of Savvy Blanc, my mum. A Savvy Blanc? Oh, yes. Couple of glasses. Mum likes bottles. Bottle of Sav. Yeah, that's probably more accurate, but I was being polite. Okay, so a mum that loves a Sav. Is that helping you out? Pauline, yeah, okay.

Yeah, Pauline. You know a Pauline that loves a Sav. Pauline loves a Sav. And Leanne. I'm glad you got Leanne on there. In fact, I don't know a Pauline that doesn't love a Sav. It's more of the case That they all love a Sav

Rather than finding Knowing one that does I've got Trish Have you got a Trish on there I don't have a Trish A Pat or a Trish I might put a Trish

Pat Trish and a Pat Yeah Shout out to my Aunty Pat Aunty Pat 90 years old Got COVID Didn't even have symptoms

Wow what a battle axe I know yeah yeah, yeah. She's funny. Pick all this up probably. All that Sam. What's mum's best Christmas dish? What does she cook? Oh, my mum doesn't do the dinner, she does dessert.

So my dad does dinner, mum does dessert. Tell me. That's okay. That can be like, what's her best dessert in your humble opinion? She does a mean chocolate pudding in a pav every year. That's her thing. Yes, I do a good pav as well. What do you mean by a chocolate pudding on Christmas?

Yeah, like a self-sourcing chocolate pudding. Oh, yeah. Does she do an ambrosia? She does not do an ambrosia. Does she rock with a trifle? She does not do an ambrosia. Oh. Does she rock with a trifle? She does rock with a trifle. Okay. She really does it all.

She's giving me big Margaret energy. Margaret energy. Okay. Now, is it weighing in the back of your mind, her earlier comments, that it'll be interesting to see if you can guess this name? Has that weighed into your... Oh, not really.

You think we're going a bit trad? I think maybe we're going a bit trad and we need some that are out the gate. Felicity. Yeah. I'll put a Felicity on the list. Simone. Okay, final question.

What's mum's Christmas tree theme? What's mum's Christmas... Tree theme? Like, does she have a colour theme or does she just go higgledy-piggledy? Is it a lot of homemade decorations from the kids? It's a lot of homemade decorations. Like, my mum has decorations that I made as a kid in the 90s.

Oh, I'm sorry, but those are just... Oh, tacky. Is the macaroni all mouldy? I would call that... Yeah, it's... I would call that heirloom. Heirloom. Heirloom.

I'd say these are nice, kids. We'll put these in a box for later. Yeah. Oops, the box caught on fire and it's in the bag. It's been a Christmas disaster. The box went to heaven. Yeah, she did try to offload it to me last year. Oh, did she?

She was like, these are yours now. Yeah, she did. And I was like, oh, we're good, Mum. We're good. Oh, you're like, no, no, I made that for you in 1989, Mum. How dare you try to give it back to me now. Okay, I think we're ready to go. We're ready to go.

All right. Rosie, Vaughn now has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. If you hear your mum's name, yell out, stop, that's my mum's name. Here we go, Vaughn. Your time starts now. Robin, Patsy, Linda, Leanne, Carol, Sharon, Karen. Whoa, that all kind of rhymed. Claudia, Helen, Andrea, Suze, Suzanne, Jane, Yvonne, Elizabeth, Beth, Pauline, Trish, Pat, Vicky, Judith, Margaret, Kim, Felicity.

That's my mum's name, sorry. Which one? Which one? Judith. Judy! Judy! Judy's on the path. Judy, Judy, Judy.

What made you pick Jude? It was Sav. Yeah, right. Jude's love of Sav. It on the pad What made you pick Jude? It was Sav Yeah right Jude's love of Sav It was the Sav I think You said yeah Because what does the afternoon look like It came in under that question

And you said Relaxes with a couple of Savs I was imagining Judith Collins With her feet up Nah Judith's on the shards For sure No she's on the gym She's a whiskey

Yeah she'd be Burbs Burbs Hard on the burbs She'd be hard on the burbs Hard on the shards for sure. No, she's on the gym, man. She's a whiskey. Yeah, she's on the gym, man. Hard on the burbs. She'll be hard on the burbs. Hard on the burbs. But bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Well, Rosie, you've triggered the bonus round.

You've won $100 cash, but a bonus $100 of just like that. Vaughn can guess your dad's name. I always feel it works better on this if we... You know, the hive mind always brings the death. We ever get the dad, it's the hive mind. I mean, only if you want us, because sometimes people get annoyed. Do they?

That we're ruining your superpowers. You don't want us. Simon? Judith and Simon. No, Bridget, you're thinking too political, too national. Yeah, I've gone too national. I've gone two ticks blue, haven't I? Bear in mind, he's a whiz in the kitchen.

I'm feeling a Robert. A Rob. I'm feeling a Rob. A Rob and Jude. I'm feeling a Rob. I was feeling a Simon, so I feel like we're in the right area of the alphabet, you know? Chris and Judith?

Chris and Judith? Or have I gone nationally and you've gone two ticks blue? You've gone nationally and you've gone two ticks blue. You've gone Chris Bishop there. So is it Chris Bishop? Is it Simon Bridges and Judith? Or have I gone nationally and you've got two ticks blue? You've gone nationally and you've got two ticks blue. You've got Chris Bishop there. So is it Chris Bishop? Is it Simon Bridges and Judith? Is it... Who else is it?

John. John. John and Judith. No, that's silly. That'd be comical. It's... Yeah. I knew a John and...

I think we had family that were John and Judy. John and Judy. My mum's cousins were John and Judy. That's quite cute. Could it be John? Could it be John? No. Well, it's up to you, Vaughn. Will you... Fletch always thinks John and Judy and you're like, no, this time I think it's Paul. No, I don't. No, I don't. I think it's Paul. Yeah.

I know, I don't normally, but this time it's definitely Paul. Definitely Paul this time. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P. Paul and Judy. P-P-P-P-P-P-P. Vaughn, what is Rosie's dad's name? S-S-S-Sam.

S-S-S-Simon. P-P-P-Paul. P-P-P-Peter. P-P-P-Peter. Peter and Judy. Peter and Judy. Pete and Jude. Pete. Peter. Peter and Judy. Pete and Jude. That's a goodie. I'll put it in Pete.

Rosie, what's your dad's name? My dad's name is Ralph. Oh, that's so cool. Ralph and Judy. We were in the right part of the alphabet though. With the R's and the S's. Remember I said I felt like we were in the right part of the alphabet, though, with the R's and the S's. Remember I said I felt like we were in the right part of the alphabet? Yeah.

Well, you've won $100, Rosie. Ralph. Winner of Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name, Vaughan maintaining his stellar psychic abilities for 2022. Congratulations. Well done. Awesome. Thank you so much.

Fact of the day is next. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, guys. Thank you And hey Is next Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas guys Thank you Love to Judy Love to Judy And to Ralph Play

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Fact of the Day Day Day Day Day Yeah I do Day, day, day. And not taking photos. Okay. Here's why. Can I just say, humble brag, I went to Billy Joel on Saturday night.

Didn't take a single video. Oh, yeah, nice. Do you know why? Because I was sitting with old people. Do you know what I mean? It was like an older concert. Yeah. And we were sitting with, like, people my parents' age,

and they're just, like, less into that. They're just watching and... We were just present. Living and being present. Some friends did say, though, that there were some boomers with iPads at the concert. Oh, my God. They took an iPad into the stadium? Well, because that's all mums got.

That's how they film. That's how they film and take photos and stuff. I don't know, but I can understand if they take it to, like, their grandkids' prize giving or something. But to take it into a stadium? What did they take it in? A little mum backpack? Yeah.

In the purse. In mum's handbag. A bloody handbag. Because you know she's got to have a big ipad it's not he's getting her an ipad mini because she's got the full she's got the whole she's got the full the big old 13 inch ipad well uh it's been 13 inch it's been oh yeah it's a big one it's been proven by uh scientists who work with the memory retention part of the brain that if you actually just enjoy something and don't take a photo of it,

you're far more likely to remember it because our brains have effectively an outsourcing or offloading of responsibility. So if you take a photo, you'll be like, oh, your brain's just like, that's right, we've got the photo of that, so just don't worry about remembering that. Because if you want to remember it, you can just look at the photo.

Yeah. So you look at the photo and then your memory technically is a memory of when you were looking at the photo rather than you remembering being there. I've got memories, like, especially from childhood where I'll, like, look at it and I'll go, yeah, I remember that day at kindergarten. I'm like, no, I think I remember the photo. 100%. I spent my life looking at the photo.

There's a baby stuck in a cattle stop. We had different upbringings, eh? Just so different. A rural, the gaps, when you run over in the car, they go, brr, brr, the gaps. The cattle can't walk over them, so you can still drive through, but it's not a gate. Or hedgehogs love falling in them.

So there's one of me stuck in the tankers coming up the driveway. It's a funny photo. Now, in my memory when I was younger, I thought I could remember that, but I don't. My memory is looking at the photo and being told about it, so I've created a memory on it. Yeah, okay. So your brain will pretty much outsource memories because they're like,

well, this is an unimportant thing to remember because you've always got the backup. So you don't worry about things on your computer if you've got it all backed up to the cloud. You play fast and loose. Willy nilly, delete that. Oops, time machine, get it back. But when you're taking photos of things,

the brain recognizes that this is being remembered somewhere else. Right. So I don't need to remember that. It's effectively like if you are somewhere learning, but someone has a real passion for it, and you're like, well, that's my friend. So if I don't know, I can just ask him anyway.

You've outsourced the remembering to somebody else who you can draw on at any time as its own resource. Wow. Yeah. So if you want to remember, they tested this by taking people places, and some people got to take a photo, and some people got to just live it.

And then they asked them specific details about it. And the people who took the photos just couldn't really remember. They'd be like, oh, I've got a photo of it. And they're like, yeah, but without looking at the photo, what can you remember about it? Is this why some unis are like no laptops in lectures because you're more likely to remember things if you write them down in the moment as opposed to

if you're distracted by your laptop typing away. And there's a hundred other things going on. If you're writing it down and living in it at the moment, you're more likely to retain it. So does that mean if you go on a holiday, you should not take photos? Well, just not constantly.

Like take a few snaps of like golden moments or like, I don't know, something beautiful or a posed picture. But people that are just like, do, do, do, do it. Like how many photos on your phone will you actually look at? Yeah. Versus if you'd enjoyed it at the time, you'd be able to remember it better anyway.

Yeah. Look up, guys. Look up. The world. It's a beautiful world out there, guys. You've got to look up. But remember, just before you tell your partner that they're always on their phone,

make sure you haven't been on your phone for about 10 seconds. The key is to put your phone down, slowly count to 10, silently of course, and then accuse your partner of always being on their phone. Oh my god. You're starting a holiday fight.

I know. And I love it. You're a monster. So today's fact of the day is when you don't take a photo of something, you actually remember it better. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- rhythm of me. Hooray. Why am I getting a talking turn? You didn't turn the microphone sliders down. The faders have to be down. It's weird because I always do, don't I?

I think because we were going to record something and then we didn't. And then we didn't because we ran out of time. Now, we will apologise because during the ad break, Hayley's microphone button was bumped on. At a moment where I decided to share a story about... You've been getting your makeup done

because we're going to go film something after this. Now, a makeup artist that you wouldn't know. Because we are such broadcasting professionals, you wouldn't know a makeup artist has been in the studio for about an hour. The last hour doing my hair and makeup. My very good friend Rasheen, she's staring at me. You're not getting out of this nameless, Rasheen. Is she the one that bumped the mic on or you?

Well, you were tidying up around the microphone button, Rasheen. It was Rasheen's a noose that was mentioned, not a sheep's a noose. One of the text messages said, what have I just heard regarding a sheep's a noose? I don't think we need to go into any of the story. Not into the details, but it needs explaining that. They were at a party. Rasheen was trying to climb a pole and Hayley tried to assist her

and there was a slip. Now, that is the conversation you heard. That's the conversation that you heard. We do apologize. As much as maybe it sounded it was, it was not of sexual nature. There was no sheep involved. There was no sheep involved. Zero sheep involved.

I didn't do anything to a sheep. It was an honest mistake. I accidentally did something to my friend Rasheen. Who was here and also very much laughing about the retelling of the story. Oh my lord. I nearly made it. I nearly made it through my first year without anything like this.

And there you go. But Fletch didn't turn it down and you said it. No stains on Smithy. They call him Teflon Smithy, don't they? They call him Teflon Smithy. Nothing sticks.

Well, we do apologise for it. But also, it's nice to know people are listening. Let me read some of the text messages. Is anyone saying, how am I supposed to explain this to my kids? Dude, your mics are on. Guys, guys, guys. To be honest, if anything, Vaughan, guys, guys, your mics are on. To be honest, if anything,

Vaughan was not monitoring the text machine, Hayley. I was too invested in the story about Rasheen up the bowl. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Monday Maestros.

Well, today we were given the challenge over the weekend of learning the longest place name in New Zealand. Now, this is in the Southern Hawke's Bay region. Tau mata whakitangi hanga kua wawa o tamatea turipu kaka peke maunga horonoko pokai whenua ki tanatahu. Long. Very long.

Very long. Now, I've just realised we will be shutting our laptops, of course. Absolutely. For this. There's two different spellings. There's two different spellings. One's significantly longer. Yes.

Oh, which one have I spent all weekend learning? My guess would be neither of them. Much like actual school homework, I didn't do that either. Shall we throw to the producer Carwin Now Carwin there's the long long version Or there's the Slightly shorter version

It's the long long I think go for the long long right Is Hayley disqualified for what she said on air just moments ago Um It's got nothing to do with Some of the parts of this place name were mentioned explicitly. Different language, but, you know, same sound. Yeah, right.

Okay. Yep. Let's move on. We're just going to move on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Let's go to the longer version. Hot and Nippy Pokai, remember?

It was a bit of Pokai. Born. Good girl. I used to say I won't be going anywhere near a stripper's pole with you. I gave an assisting hand to get her higher up because I believed in her. What? Because she was wearing a skirt and flimsy knickers? It's not my fault.

We don't need to keep going into detail. I mean, it's not surprising. We've really painted a picture of me being a pretty rough boozer. So anyway. All right. So who's going first, Carween? Let's go with Thorn. Oh, no. I was just hoping

to try to remember it. Close your laptop. Close your laptop. Can you say it one more time? T-A-U M-A-T-A Play the thing. Just one more time. No. You've already started.

You've started. That's it? Tomata. Wow. Okay. Well, started. You've started. That's it? Tau mata. Tau mata. Wow. Okay, well, you got the first bit. Wow. Congratulations.

I listened to the song. Someone sent me a song and said this will teach you. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. You got seven. Can I go next because it's in my brain? Okay. T-A-U-M-A-T-A-W-H-A-K-A-T-A-N-G-I-H-A-N-G-A-K-O-A-U-A-T-E-A. P-O-K-A.

Am I out? Oh, she said A. Your last letter was T-E-A. There was no P. Tumatea. Mm-hmm. Oh. Your last letter was T-E-A. There was no P. Tamatia. Mm-hmm. Oh. How many letters was that?

Jared, producer Jared, just counting. I could do this. I could do this. I did pretty well there. I got to Tamatia. Oh, and this is where the spelling, because I was going Portainese. You were, but you missed two letters.

30. Okay. 35, I believe. with the spelling because I was going poor Thai next. You were, but you missed two letters. Tui pukapukimanga. Okay. 35, I believe. 35. I'm pleased with that. Just better than seven. But I also didn't graphically describe

what I did to a co-worker at a bar. Don't. No, no, no, no, no. Don't do this to me. Hayley should have nothing to do with that. That's got to be penalty level.

Hayley should have a Broadcasting Standards Authority minus 15 penalty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What does that mean? For my mortgage. All right, Fletch. Well, it could mean up to $10,000. Well, I just need to beat Vaughan, so as long as I don't lose.

T-A-U-M-A-T-A-W-H-A-K-A-T-A. I've beat Vaughan. Is that beating Vaughn? Yes. I'm out. You're out. What were you looking at there? Yeah, I can see.

Where you had your big, as it's spelled out, on your screen, what you've accidentally forgot to realise is that that's the screen that's shared up. This is sloppy broadcasting today. He forgets to put the faders down. And he forgets to hide his cheater. I've done you dirty. I've done you. No, that's the notepad of the right letters that I bring up when we each completed it. But it was up the entire time you were.

No, that was down. That's why you were staring at the screen. I beat you. But he cheated, so did he beat me? Not really. I could see him reading it. Yeah. But Hayley.

This is a clear win. Hayley minus 15 letters for an inappropriate check. Even if you minus 15 letters, Hayley has still taken it. I said a 30-letter deduction. No, no, no. I got 35, and you're going to deduct 15 because I was talking about solicit things. This has been a hell of a half an hour for you. She's still got 20.

Another podcast in the bag. The plastic bag. Are they back? No, no, still banned. Okay. They never left. That's where you come in with the line, boy. Boy, man, if you enjoyed that.

Okay. Oh, and if you enjoyed it, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell all of your friends. God, I need some sleep. Yeah.