ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 6th September 2022

Episode Date: September 5, 2022

Top 6: Aussie Phones  Silly Little Poll!  Reserving Public Spots  Good Good Bad Good!  School Camp  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Hello, welcome to the Fleeche, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download, scan and play the Monopoly game at Maccas to be in to win. Now, I don't know about technology, guys. Oh. Because it's meant to be all helpful and good, isn't it? Yes.

Not all technology. Would you say guns are technology? Yeah, but they help. Help what? Control possums. Okay, you got me there. No, you got me there. But no, you do raise a good point. No, but I was at the supermarket yesterday and... Sorry, sorry, sorry. Just pausing.

Why are you wielding a knife at me? It's a bread knife. It's a bready cake knife. Because it's the only knife in the kitchen I can cut my apple with. It's so aggressive, the way you were punctuating. Yeah, punctuating. I'm just using it as a tool just to get attention. So you were at the supermarket yesterday.

And I was just buying a whole lot of stuff. And I was like, you know what? I just feel like one banana. Why wouldn't you buy a bunch? Why wouldn't you buy a bunch of bananas? No, because I don't normally eat bananas. And I was like... Who doesn't normally eat bananas?

More of an apple guy. Why would you eat an entire bag of fruit, why not eat a banana? I don't know. What do you got against the humble Nars? Nothing, but I was like, I'm going to eat this banana. Why are you being a fucking asshole to bananas? I'm not being an a-hole to bananas. I just felt like I was like, I'll walk from the supermarket to home,

and in that time, I'm going to eat this single banana. I get it. I get it. I get it. So I put this banana on the self-serve checkout, and it's one of these new fandangle ones that- Oh, my God. You've never sounded older. New fandangle ones.

No, it's AI. They scan what's on the scales. Oh, so you don't have to go search fruit, veg, banana. So when you go into code, it will scan- No one buys one fucking banana, you lunatic, you madman. It will scan No one buys one Fucking banana You lunatic You mad man It will scan The produce

On the scale And then it will Give you the options It thinks Are on the scale So the idea is That this will Stop you from

Miss From basically Shoplifting Oh so like Putting through a potato Putting through a kumara As a potato And yeah

So that you'd get Something cheaper Or pistachio As a cashew. Yeah, exactly. Although the ones in Australia, they now have your face. Have you seen that? Oh, they'll capture. When you go to a self-serve checkout, they've got a little picture of your

face and the camera's always looking at you. I didn't say they could do that. That feels invasive. Yeah, people did have a bit of an issue. I want to steal in private. We haven't got to that in New Zealand. But anyway, so I put the single banana on and I'm like, enter. And it was like, supervisor, supervisor, supervisor. Should have just gone to the checkout in the first place.

And the supervisor's helping some old person that doesn't know how to use the self-serve checkout and then has to ID someone for alcohol. So it takes them like, I don't know, an hour to get to me. And then they get to me. It was not an hour. No, it was an hour. It was more like a minute. But it felt like I was highly inconvenienced. It felt, an hour to get to me. And then they get to me. It was not an hour. No, it was an hour. It was more like a minute, but it felt like I was highly inconvenienced. It felt like an hour.

Yeah. And then she, it's like, you know how they've got to put in the checkout code? She put it in. And then it brought up a picture of what a banana should look like. Yeah. And then almost like a grayscale x-ray of what it had taken. Oh, like an infrared situation. Yeah.

It didn't recognize the banana.. Didn't recognize the banana. Didn't recognize the banana. And I said, oh, did you think I was trying to steal this banana? Or does your computer not know what a banana looks like? And she just said, ha, ha, ha. And then walked away. Does your computer not know what a banana looks like? All right, smart ass.

It's new technology. Wow, I haven't tried this technology. If you slap down a pack of ham. Oh, no, that's got a barcode. It's got a barcode. It's just stuff that doesn's got a barcode. It's got a barcode. It's just stuff that doesn't have a barcode. And it's not every supermarket. It's only like the new self-serve checkouts.

I've got a banana story too. But it's good. It's normally good because it saves you time because you don't need to search for all the stuff. It'll know that's either an orange or a mandarin because it'll just see the orange. Have you got a banana story? I've got a banana story too.

Maybe you've got a banana story. I've got a banana story too. Maybe you've got a banana story. I've got a banana story. And banana is the theme of the day. Banana. Yesterday it rained so much at our house. You grew a banana tree. No, but I saw a banana tree at Mitre 10. No, don't get them.

Don't get them. Don't get them. Why not? We've got so many of them in our house we can't get rid of them. Don't. The banana trees. Yeah, yeah, the roots, they grow. And then you like cut it out and then we're like on the other side'll be like, on the other side of the... Don't do it.

Okay, I'm not going to do it. Or plant it in a pot? You can put it in a pot. Put it in a pot? Because I don't know when you finish it, you just machete it off at the bottom and it grows from the stump again. Oh, shit. Anyway, that's not the banana story. God, no wonder Ecuador's got so many fucking bananas. They're just slowly taking over the world. They probably didn't want

to be a banana exporter. They were probably like, let's stick to cocaine. It's not sexy at all. Bananas are very sexy. No more sexy fruit than a banana. Well, it's phallic. Very phallic. A peach.

Very hot. Thank you. And nectarine's even hotter because it doesn't have the fur. I'm a stone fruit guy. It's like it's fresh from the Brazilian bar. So it rained and rained and rained and rained and rained and rained. And the culvert that goes under our driveway, it's just a little pipe, got blocked. Oh, yeah.

So the water was flying over our driveway. So it was actually quite a lot of fun. And I wish I'd videoed it because I stuck my hand in and grabbed this. It was just like a stick was blocking all the stuff. What if there was something in there? Oh, that's just life, mate. You've got to get this thing unblocked. So I pulled it out and it went into a whirlpool and

boom blew it out the other side of the culvert but then the neighbors was also blocked downhill so i went and unblocked theirs as well and then i noticed some rubbish flowing down so i went and stood down in the other end and was like i got so many cans and bottles and stuff and then a banana floated past oh my god it was fucking weird. Just a rogue banana. Just one, like you, one banana. And it wasn't, I was at a banana skin. I was like, no, it's a whole banana. And I don't know.

You know what it sounds like? It sounds like your girls don't eat all their lunch fruit. They don't take bananas to school. And they're doing a straight biff. Yeah, they come home and they biff it because what they've done is they've gone to the tuck shop and spent all their money on lollies. There's no tuck shop at their school and they don't take a whole banana because they don't like it doesn't fit nicely in their lunchbox. They have a banana when they get home or they have a banana for breakfast. But this was a whole banana.

And I was like, do I grab it? I'm only here picking up the plastics. No, it's still fine. It's got a skin on it. No, it's a storm water banana. That's yuck. And it went wee! And I just turned and kind of like silently it was passing down with rain.

I'm in my wet weather gear standing there with an armload of plastic and I'm just like watching this banana go down and then it goes through the next neighbour's culvert, pops out the other side because it's yellow in this sea of brown. I watched the banana go all the way to the creek. Like one of those yellow duck river races they do with the rubber duckies. I wonder what its life journey is. From tree.

Where is it now? To stream. That's amazing. That's probably. But that's one of those moments. That river kind of goes towards your place. Oh, my God. I'm going to look.

Oh, my God. What if I see the banana today? I'd keep an eye out for the banana. What's your banana story? I have been having banana on toast peanut butter banana on toast and then i've been cutting because i don't use the whole banana on the toast and i've been keeping half bananas in my little lunch bag and i keep forgetting to take them out and then i had the peanut butter in there and i was cooking a satay stir fry so i said to aaron can you go

get my lunch bag from the back of my boot and And as he was leaving, I was like, because he was about to see that I've got four half bananas in the bag. Oh, yeah, right. And why would you not want him seeing that? Because it makes you grubby or he'll be like, you've wasted bananas. Both, grubby and wasteful. Grubby and wasteful. But now if I see this famous cumu banana floating past the river behind my... That would have been so manky.

I'm literally going to go home. I'm going to sit at the river and wait for this banana. Just to down the river. Don't eat it. That would have been so manky. I'm literally going to go home and sit at the river and wait for this banana. Just to float on by. And then I'm going to eat half of it and leave the other half at the back of my car for days. And you will get giardia and E. coli and everything else that was in that manky, manky storm water.

Banana. Thank you, Sam. Now I feel like I'll be one. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Two minutes past six. Got a little spider friend on my hand. Yeah.

Where are you going? Is it a baby daddy long legs? Yeah, he does have very long legs. Where are you off to, buddy? If I go in the sleeve. You'll be screwed if that goes in your sleeve. Yeah, I really don't want to go in sleeve. You'll never, ever find it. Chilly start to the day this morning. Oh, yes, I crossed the country.

I saw snow in the octagon in Dunedin. Yeah. On the throat. A friend in Oamaru showed it was snowing last. It started snowing, like little flurries. Steampunk snow? Yeah, it was black. Steampunk snow.

Yeah, it was black snow. Cool, cool, cool. That's cool, man. Did it have all these sort of like cogs in it? Yeah, it was black. Steampunk snow. Yeah, it was black snow. Cool, cool, cool. That's cool, man. Did it have all these sort of like cogs in it? Yeah. Was it snowing cogs? It was snowing cogs. It was.

Goggles? Goggles, yeah. Two degrees in Dunedin at the moment. It's minus one in Timaru. Christchurch, one. And most of the North Island single digits as well. Goodness me. Like five or six.

Cold, cold, cold. A brr, a brr, a brr. Yeah, a brr, a brr. A brr, a brr, a brr. Good luck to you. Chuck another jumper on, you know. Yeah, it's all about the layers. Yeah, gotcha.

It's about the layers. It's about a bloody good set of thermals. Yeah. Some wet weather gear. I've got very little sympathy at the moment. I'm living in a house with no floor, no walls, no roof. Yeah, I saw you ripping up your floor on your Instagram and I was like, you're ripping up your floor.

What a time to be able to play. The worst week to rip up your floor. I know. It's not hard either. It's biscuit. Do you know the old saying, like the house is being held up by the borer holding hands? That's our house.

That's the situation. Oh, right, okay. We were like, let's lift it up and see how many we can save and it was like... Oh. It was very cold. But yeah, you can stand on those floorboards, but when you take them off, they're dust.

I know. That's so weird. Being held together by the bits and pieces over top of it. Yeah. Yeah, wow. Anyway. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, Australia is going to ban phones in schools.

Like the whole country? Apparently. Oh, wow. Looking to ban the use of phones in schools for their public schooling. So I've got the top six ways students will have to communicate. Delving into my own history of inter-student communication pre-phone. That's right, because, yeah, you can speak from experience. Yeah, yeah.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I suppose, well, the private schools did this as well, because you're a private schooler. They wouldn't have implemented a phone ban, would they? Yeah, you weren't allowed your phone. I started in 2003, so only just phones were becoming more common. Right.

Not everyone had a phone. But we had deep pockets, so you'd keep it in your pocket and you'd be able to, like, text in your pocket. Tick, tick, tick. One, two, three. Oh, that was the good old days. One, two, three, four. Where, you know, C was three presses of the two button.

Yeah. Oh, that was good stuff. God, we had it hard, didn't we? Oh, wow. It was a tough life. You could do it without even looking. It was really, really hard. Next on the show.

Some shoplifting advice. Yeah, this is in the news. Unimags love a bit of publicity, don't they? Yeah, they do. Love the student magazines. Yeah, they love a controversial story. Well, we're absolutely going to give it to them, aren't we? Yeah.

They've got some advice for people. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. going to give it to them, aren't we? Yeah. They've got some advice for people. The University of Queensland's causing a little bit of a stir over they've got a student magazine. Yep. My uni didn't have this. Did you guys have a student mag? No. Your Polytechs?

No. Oh, no. You know? Well, no. But all the big universities have got them. Yeah, they do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are they called?

Nexus was, I think Nexus was Waikato Uni. I don't know if it still is. Was it Dunedin? Crackham was one of them. Variant? No, not Variant. Haviant. Salient.

Actors? Salient was Vic. Salient. God, such pretentious names. Oh, no. God. Last thing we want to hear is more 21-year-olds and their opinion pieces. You know?

A hot take from a 19-year-old. Yeah. Well, the University of Queensland, in their magazine, they publish an article called The Subtle Art of Shoplifting. And it's sort of a how-to guide of how to shoplift based on the store. Oh, wow. Time to hard. They're calling it frifting.

So instead of thrifting. That's not thrifting. Frifting is free shopping. Oh, right. Yeah. So for working class people to take on an ongoing class war, you get a frift. Free shop.

So here's some of the advice for you listening. Well, I don't know if we should be giving out this advice. Oh, no, only do it from like the big corporate chain. No, we shouldn't be saying that. And I'll tell you what the local community constable will say when he's got you in handcuffs. All right. So here is, it's a short guide.

From grocery stores. Oh, look, I don't think we should. We should preface this by saying do not do this. That goes without saying. It's illegal. Yes, it is illegal. But this is just what the student magazines are doing.

We're talking about it across the ditch. Well, I'm just not going to prison for this. Hayley can go to prison for it. Hayley can go to prison for it. Hayley can go to prison for this. Here's what not to do. Grocery stores, they say wear a mask. We're all wearing masks.

Well, no, but not in Australia. This is from Australia. This is from Australia. So they're not wearing masks. They're not wearing masks everywhere. In fact, if you wear a mask in Australia, as we learnt when we went there

not long ago, everyone tells you. You don't have to wear that. I know. I got told that in a store in New Zealand Everyone tells you. You don't have to wear that. I know. I got told that in a store in New Zealand the other day. You don't have to wear that. Well, no, you do. I was like, I think you don't want to,

but I don't think it's not that you don't have to anymore. You 100% do. They say the main reason to wear a mask is to cover your identifiables, like piercings, tattoos and facial hair. So that they can't see you on a camera. Yeah. Take, oh, clothing check.

This is, they've really broken it down. Ensure that you can, oh, no. Ensure you can afford what you are thrifting so that you can say, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I totally forgot. I'll pay for it now. And then you can pay for it and not look like. I didn't mean to have a block of cheese in my pocket.

Yeah. Yeah, no. If it's hidden on your person have a block of cheese in my pocket. Yeah. Yeah, nah. If it's hidden on your person, they're not going to believe that. Yeah. And then you're going to get trespassed from the supermarket and then you're not going to have anywhere to get any food. Remember that time you didn't have a basket so you put an avocado in your pocket. I got it in my hoodie pocket.

And you were actually going to pay for it and you just... That's correct. You forgot. So riddled with guilt was I, I went back. Yeah, and paid for the avocado. So one of the main things that this article tells you to do is pick a character, like LARPing, like live action role playing. So to play a character, here's some characters they've suggested. Confused, stressed, and clumsy nerd.

Dressed like an IT worker. Take a phone call. That's really insulting to IT workers. Yeah, I know. They're all flustered by social situations. Here's the next one that really makes me laugh. Flirtatious, sexy and slow to understand. That's

where I would go. It's a hot dummy. What? Oh my gosh. I'm so confused as to what you're saying to me. Because your eyes. As she unbuttons another button. Revealing what I've stolen under name. You can be a stressed parent. Take your kids along they're saying. Jeepers creepers. Yeah I don't know. You're revealing what I've stolen underneath. It's hot in here. You can be a stressed parent. Take your kids along

they're saying. Jeepers creepers. Yeah I don't know you don't get your kids involved in your crime do you? You leave them out of that. It's absolutely wild. So this article

obviously got some hate. Yeah people are like what? And they were like no we're not removing it. They were saying because it's on a website as well and people were like

you can't do this. Yeah. Because like times are tough for you sure you want to Because like, times are tough for you. Sure, you want to be stealing, but times are tough for the retailers

and the grocery stores. Well, maybe not. But yeah. And then they were like, no, you know, do with the information

what you will. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Phoebe from Friends, Lisa Kudrow, currently in the country. Working on a secret project. Yeah.

Is this a Taika Waititi project? I don't know. Time bandits. I think so. Okay. Well, she's been dragged into a thing. She has. And you weren't happy about this from the outset because you're a huge Lisa Kudrow fan.

She's my number one. Like, she is an incredible comedian, an amazing writer, a fantastic actress, and just a great person. And so when this came out over the weekend that Spencer Pratt, who? From the Hills. From the Hills. Had said that she was the rudest, like I was like, get a grip. He was doing an ask me anything on TikTok.

This is what he said. That's easy. Phoebe from Friends. Hands down, one of the worst humans I've ever come in contact with. So somebody asked him, like, what's your worst celebrity you've met? Who's the rudest celebrity you've met?

This is a real thing, like, was it last month? Jojo Siwa said that Candice Cameron, who was DJ Tanner on Full House and Fuller House, and presumably the sequel to the sequel Fullest House. Yeah. The Fullest of Houses.

Full of the Brim House. Packed to the Rafters. The ultimate sequel to Full House. She said she was the worst human she'd ever met. And so now everybody's obsessed with like what celebrity has one other celebrity met That they had no time for So he said He wouldn't reveal initially He did though say

If I get a million likes I'll reveal who it is No I'll tell you why I'll tell you why Why I think Lisa Kudrow is the worst human I've ever met And of course like this exploded on the internet And he did get his million likes And then we found out exactly

What Lisa Kudrow said to Spencer Pr heidi and i were invited to our first real a-list elite party as we're sitting there consuming a little caviar phoebe approaches she then says right in front of me to heidi and right in front of me she tells Heidi that she needs to get away from me as fast as possible because I'm going to murder Heidi and that I have the eyes of a serial killer. It's unfair though. The article

I read this on, this follow up at the moment it has the quote of like the eyes of a murderer. They have a photo of him and he's like eh. They're set in and close together aren't they? Yeah they really are, they're piercing That just

makes me love her even more I know, I feel like this and then I think afterwards he was like, they were waiting to see if it was a joke like if she was going to be like you guys are alright then she just walks away after saying like, your partner is going to kill like you guys are alright. Then she just walks away after saying like your partner

is going to kill you. He's got the eyes of a murderer. Yeah. I think Kate. I love her even more now. I know. And they're like very clickbaity. 100%. I mean he's doing it for the likes right? Doing it for the gram.

Play it. Cdm's Fletchch Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Hello there, mobile phones will be banned in all public schools and New South Wales of Labour wins the state election, says New South Wales Labour leader Chris Minns.

Chris Minns. Chris Minns. Chris Minns. I love a Chris Minns pie. Pie. Chris Minns women's pie. Christmas tart. He hopes the ban will improve results and keep teenagers safe online.

Most schools would probably already have a semi-ban, right? You kind of sit in class texting. Ours was they had to be on silent. Because we were new to phones, 2003. On silent in your bag. Right. on silent because we were new to phones 2003 on silent in your bag right that was the thing

because it was all about you know being able to contact yeah yeah in emergencies or whatever open up the old lines of contact apparently

I didn't hear about this but several Knox Grammar students this is like the controversy oh yeah I saw this controversy

Knox Grammar is it the school of hard knocks is it no school of hard knocks? No, it's like an elite Sydney hoity-toity private school. And yeah, that was some big drama last week. Expelled for sharing racist and misogynistic content through online chat rooms. They had like WhatsApp groups and they were feral.

A double disc. I love that. Disappointing. Oh, I'm reading some of the... It would be like the equivalent here happening at King's. You know how everyone loves a King's drama? Are you just reading some of... Yeah, it's bad.

These comments are crazy for high school kids. Like, yeah, I know. Who is teaching them this way of thinking? Oh, my God. Yeah, it's horrible. You couldn't even say them all. Oh, no, I was looking for one I could.

No, you can't. Absolutely not. That's horrible. Horrendous. So I've got the top six ways for Australian students to communicate in school without phones. Number six, smoke signals, except it's vape signals now. Yes.

Yeah. Are you allowed to vape at school? No. God, no, but they do, eh? Yeah, they love a little hoon on there. Vape in the bush? A vape in the bush. You just see smoke coming out of a bush?

What could ever be happening in there? Yeah, in the bush. You just see smoke coming out of a bush. What could ever be happening in there? Yeah, in the hedge. You go back to class smelling like grape soda or hokey pokey swirl.

It's got to be better than going back to class thinking of ciggies. I wonder if they do a boysenberry swirl. Oh, like a ripple. Yeah, like a ripple. Like a vanilla.

Like a tip top. Boysenberry swirl. Oh, like a ripple. Yeah, like a ripple. Like a vanilla. Like a tip top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boysenberry swirl vape. Do they have vapes that are just tasty air and not nicotine? Boysenberry swirl limitless vape. Yes, yes. Big vape. Man, no wonder everyone is hooked on this.

I hope each puff is like some of it's boysenberry and the next one's a bit more vanilla. Name another scent and or flavour. Orange choc chip. Oh, you know there's going to be. Orange choc chip. Orange choc chip e-liquid. We want to know the difference between orange chocolate and orange choc chip.

I want to taste the chips. I think they'd be the same. Yeah, 100%. Okay, one more. Gold Rush. Gold Rush? What is Gold Rush's flavour though? It's a hokey pokey. There is literally

a one called Gold Rush. There's a vape, but it's Virginian tobacco, sweet creamy vanilla and rich caramel drizzle. Drizzle? Yeah. Man, these vape companies are out of control.

Do they have any savory? It's bad for you kids. Oh, there's so much hokey pokey flavor in vapes. Is there any savory? Like a sausage roll. Yeah, like baked goods. Like pork and chives? Pork and a troll vape flavor.

Pork sausage flavored elixir. Jared, why aren't you vaping sausages? Jared's always on the grape. He always smells like Hubba Bubba. Sometimes I walk past Jared when he's filled up his vape and it smells like a Hubba Bubba factory. I'm more into the fruit flavours than the meaty flavours. Pork sausage.

You need to get into some pork and chives. Pizza. Pigs in blanket flavoured vape. That's just a sausage roll. Yeah, yeah, I know. Yum. Yum. Is there like a meaty pizza?

Pizza. There's got to be a pizza. Pizza vape flavour. Yup. Tomatoes and herbs de Provence. What about a bolognese? Is there a bolognese? Spag-bog.

Bolognese. bolognese? Is there a bolognese? Spag-bog. Bolognese. Bolognese. This is a hard word to spell, isn't it? Bolognese, yeah. Oh, here we go. Or meatballs. Bolognese. Vape flavour.

You know it! Okay, one more, one more. Mince and cheese pie. Okay. Well, that's very Kiwi. Mince pie. Vape flavour. What a cracker. Festive mince pie. Oh, okay. So that's very Kiwi. Mince pie vape flavour. What a cracker.

Festive mince pie. Oh, okay. So that's more your Christmas mince. That's more your Christmas. Yeah. Yeah, it's a Christmas mince pie. Wow. Wow, I had no idea they did savoury vape flavours.

It's wild that all these flavours are allowed. Like a lot of, some countries have cracked down on the flavours and got rid of them. So that young people aren't drawn towards them. You're actually getting a festive vape flavour just for a special treat on the day. It's Christmas. What about like hot cross buns at Easter? Okay, we're betting a load. We can just change it.

Top six vape flavours. That actually exist. Hot cross bun, e-cigarette liquid. Jesus of Nazareth. This is insane. We're only up to number five on the list of the top. This is insane. We're only up to number five on the list of the top six. Real quick. Number six.

Passing cute little coded notes. Oh, we used to do that. Yeah, a little note note. Do you know I've kept them all? Have you? Yeah, I've got a bag of all the notes I passed in class. What do they say? What are you doing after school?

I love Ben. I have like massive handwritten letters. Yeah, same. That I wrote and people gave to me and stuff and I kept them and then a few years out of school I read them and I was so embarrassed by them I got rid of them.

Yeah, they're so embarrassing. But now I would love to read them again to me. Yeah. Horrendous. It would be so embarrassing. I'd burn them. I'd die. Number four on the list

of the top six ways for Aussie students to communicate in school. On your computer, write a note. Write what you want to say. Change the font to Wingdings. Email it in Wingdings. And then they select all and change the font back to Arial. Yes.

How good was that little trick? But remember when it would backfire and it would just turn up as squares? Yeah. And you'd be like, what? That's pretty much how spies communicate. Wingdings. Yeah, Wingdings. Yeah. And you'd be like, what? That's pretty much how spies communicate. Wingdings. Yeah, wingdings. Yeah.

What? It's spies. That's how they communicate. Spiders. Spies. Spies. Spies. I was like,

you highly understood that. Yeah. Spies. Because spies and spiders are two different words. They do webs, not wheels. You need to flush out

your ear holes Spies Gotcha Gotcha That makes perfect sense Number three on the list Of the top six ways For Aussie students

To communicate in school I mean have you ever seen A spy to use a laptop No but I thought you meant It was some joke About how they do their webs And it looks like Different little symbols

You know how Charlotte's web Though she would write messages She would write messages But I think she just used Like aerial She didn't use wingtags. Yeah, no, she's a Helvetica girl. She's a big Helvetica. Facsimiles between

classes. Pop the facts in. Send it through. You've got to heat transfer paper baby. You've got all day, no ink required. Number two on the list of the top six ways for Aussie students to communicate in school. Leaving notes for the next class on the chalkboard or whiteboard or whatever has replaced the whiteboard now.

I'm assuming the whiteboard's kind of gone. No. I know there's those ones where the teacher can, like, draw on a tablet and it goes on the magic screen. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. Well, that's pretty good stuff. Surely there's still a bit of whiteboard.

That's what crushed my dreams of being a teacher because I'm a left-hander. You drag your hand through your whiteboard. Ride it and rub it off. That and you hate kids. That and I hate it. Particularly teenagers. They're the absolute worst.

And number one on the list of the top six ways for Aussie students to communicate in school, a nice Hallmark greeting card. Oh, lovely. Yeah, on this occasion. See, you don't need your phone in class. You don't need your phone. What do you need your phone for? What you need is a hot cross bun flavoured vape.

I got my head out this sunroof. I'm blasting my favourite tune. for. What you need is a hot cross bun flavoured vape juice. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well a British travel company Slasher, Stasher, they made this claim online that the middle seat passengers were more likely to get an upgrade. If you're in the middle seat passengers were more likely to get an upgrade. If you're

in the middle seat. Because they feel sorry for them because that's famously the worst seat. Yeah, because they're squished in there. And they're like, well let's just pluck someone who's squished in the middle seat. Between two people they don't know, presumably. Because then you're actually pleasing three people. Yes. Because then the two others on

either side, they've now got a gap between them if all literally moves. Yeah, so they're happy. And, you know, the internet was like, well, you know, this is a great thing. And they've been saying this for a while, book this seat. But then don't book that seat. Never. Because if this doesn't work, you're stuck in the middle. And it can't work for everyone.

Well, yeah, and also planes aren't that empty these days. Like planes are slammed at the moment. And that's why this has kind of been debunked by the internet. Well, yeah, and also planes aren't that empty these days. Like, planes are slammed at the moment, and that's why this has kind of been debunked by the internet. An Australian travel expert shut down that age-old myth about the middle seat, saying that this has been a thing for as long as they can remember, and the fact is that the people that get upgraded on, excuse me, long-haul flights

are normally, like, the airline's frequent flyers. Yeah, frequent flyer program. Or remember we talked about this recently, like if you've got to dress up, you've got to dress the part. See, that's another myth as well. Because even if you're like a frequent flyer in trackies and jandals, you're probably going to get upgraded over someone. Who's not.

An ironed slack. Yeah, exactly. Especially because like most of these airline programs have like upgrade, you know, like in New Zealand they have the one up that you can do. You can get free upgrades and apply for them. So they're going to go to those people before they go to anyone else.

Yeah, but I did iron my slacks. I noticed you'd ironed them. I ironed them. I put a crease in the front, down the front. Yeah, why'd you do that to your Subi jeans? I was hoping for an upgrade and I was told to iron my slacks. Yeah. No, it's not happening.

Just that crease will never go away now. Yeah, but my slacks. It's kind of almost like when I was ironing it, it took colour out along that crease. So even with the crease not there, there's a line that indicates there has been. Right. You've done the same on your shirt as well, you know,

in that crease down there. Yeah. But I'm not getting an upgrade? No. No, now you're just stuck in a cheap seat in the middle at the back with iron slacks. With iron slacks. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fletchvornughn and Hayley. Rikie, it's a silly little poem. Do you make your bed every day? I'm not the last one in it. Oh, yeah, you get out of this, because you leave at like four o'clock in the morning. Yeah.

And Sade would always make the bed, eh? Correct. Yeah. Aaron usually does, but at the moment, no. Bigger fish to fry at our house. Right, he's out of bed straight into the bloody building site. Into the building site. But we, I'll always make it before I get in. Like, I'll usually make it if I get home

and he hasn't had time to do it. What kind of make? Are you doing a hospital corner? Or are you doing a flip? I'm tucking sheets. I'm tucking sheets and folding over. Really? Yeah, sometimes a quick flip if it's too late and I'm like, alright, I'm going to get in the shower, quickly make the bed. And then all the pillows are on. It's all looking beautiful. Messy bed, messy head. Honestly,

if I see a shambles of a bed, it makes my brain in shambles. I can't handle it. In summer, I'll make the bed. But in winter, because I've got this massive duvet, I get all hot and it gets all sweaty and stuff. And so I leave it unmade and then I get home and then I'll make it. Otherwise, if you make it while it's all, you know, you've just slept in it, it seals in all the bugs. Dampness. That sounds like bullshit. That's the it, it seals in all the bugs. Dampness. That sounds like bullshit.

That's the thing. It seals in the dampness. Exactly. It seals the dampness. Do you want your best friend hopping into a moist bed at night? Yes, I do. It would make me sleep easier knowing Fletch was sleeping in the wet spot. Wow.

Do you make your bed every day? 59% of people, yes. 41% no. That's pretty close. Your mum's going to be so angry at you. Look at little Anna pretending like she's having a chat with Carwen. Do you want to throw her under the bus? Yeah, I do.

You never make your bed. Nah, it's just not for me. What do you mean it's not for you? You grubby bubby. Nah, see, I've got to... Grubby bubby. Who's a grubby bubby? You're a grubby.

I think that's an HR. You're a grubby bubby. That's HR territory. Do you like being called bubby. Who's a Grubby Bubby? Gross. You're a Grubby. That's an HR. You're a Grubby Bubby. That's HR territory. Do you like being called Bubby? That's a hard no from me. All right. You're a Dirty Bertie. I appreciate the offer.

Yeah, you're a Messy Nessie. Please, could you refrain? You're a Mankey Hanky. No, that's way worse. It's gross. No, but's way worse. It's gross. No, but I have a linen duvet cover. Oh! Get out of here.

You look quite well-frozen. What's that? That's a waffle linen. My radio, could you? But it looks like kind of like cozy and lived in. You know what I mean? Like you don't need to do anything. But do you pull it up at least?

Nah, I should, but I don't. If I have guests over, yeah. Right, so you do it only for sort of showcase purposes. Yeah. I've got a satin trimmed blanket and I like to... Ooh. I don't. I was just trying to think of the most nannery bed covering there could be.

Yeah, I've got sort of an embroidered quilt. Itchy blankets with the silk around the edge just to really take the itch off the edge of it. Well, some feedback in about making the bed every day. Dan says, I'm a single man who lives alone, so of course I don't. Mum's not nagging me to do it, and Dan, you'll long remain single

if you don't make your bed, my friend. I bet Dan would make it if he had a hot date coming over, though. Oh, yeah. I feel like Dan doesn't change his sheets. Dan, here's another. Yeah, no, change those bet Dan would make it if he had a hot date coming over. Oh, yeah. I feel like Dan doesn't change his sheets. Dan, here's another. Yeah, no. Change those sheets, Dan, if you've got a hot date coming over. And, Dan, when the hot date's about to come over,

another little tip for people who don't make their bed properly, don't clean the toilet properly, clean the outside of the toilet too. Because if there's a whole lot of dust settled on it. Oh, yeah. No, you've not cleaned that toilet well. Olivia says, I never used to and then I made it my New Year's resolution to

make it every single day for a year and it put me in a good mood to start the day and made me feel like I had my life together at the start of the day even if I hadn't. I was more likely to start other good habits and I've just carried on ever since. That old bloody TED talk over there. Yeah, inspiring. Thanks for that,

Brené Brown. Char says, yes, but I make it before I get into it at night because CBF in the morning. That I've never understood. Like just before you get into it, you make it again. But if you, because we're a top sheet family, Aaron and I. Oh, yes. So that can often get tangled, you know. So you've got to sort it out before you hop back in.

Flick it and I just Oh, yes. So that can often get tangled, you know. So you've got to sort it out before you hop back in. Flick it and I just climb back in. No, I'm not remaking. I'm not making it just to hop back into it. Hayley says, I used to remake it after Hubby had made it because it was never right. Wow. And then we had kids, so now CBF. Yeah.

Lee says, we have a rule that whoever is out of the bed last makes it, so I'm always up first. Yeah, I am too. Even on the weekends, I'm always out of bed first. I don't make it very often. But if I have a little afternoon nap, I just do that thing where I grab the corner of the top sheet and the corner of the duvet, hold it up,

and then run my hand like karate chop the bed flat. So I feel like masculine when I'm making the bed, you know? Like, ah, yeah! Consider yourself made. If pulling up the blankets count as making the bed, then yes, I make the bed, says Chantel. No tucking there. That's half us.

Kate says, mum always said, what if the queen came by? 31, and I still think that every time. The queen can't even bloody go to a royal occasion. I don't think she's popping into your house to see if you made your bed. Unless you've got a ramp. Yeah, you're going to need a ramp. I think you're going to need a ramp these days. I think the Queen's going to need a ramp.

And you live quite close to Buckingham Palace. Yeah. Dylan says, I do because my flatmates don't, so it's a real alpha male power move. Oh, yeah. That's a good call, actually. Yeah. That is a bit of a power move. There you go, silly little pole.

Make your bed, you filthy animals. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. actually. Yeah. It is a bit of a power move. There you go, silly little pole. Make your bed you filthy animals. This irritates me and I have been I have been I've taken part in a passive aggressive note before. Right. Mine was always like someone parking over my driveway or that kind of usually parking. Well we

listeners, long time listeners to the show will remember that your neighbours once urinated in your car air vents because of your passive-aggressive notes. That car's gone now, but RIP. Well, a note left on a park bench has torn the internet. So the note says it's like a public park, and there's a park bench, and there's a note stuck to it.

Stapled, mind you. Oh, stapled. Stapled. And it says, reserved for a birthday party. Please respect the space we have set aside and do not use the tables. This is a four-year-old's party. Don't be the one to mess it up. Thank you.

Oh, no, no, no. That's a first in situation with those park benches with the hot plate barbecues beside them. Yeah. If you want that, you're going to have to go early, set up your gazebo, put all your chilli bins on the seat and claim it. And someone's got to be there.

A human must remain there. I know. It's like when you see people standing in a park, in a parking space. A car park. In a car park. Yeah. You know?

I'll do that. Didn't you do that, Producer Jarrah? Didn't you stand in a baggy? No, I saw someone do that. Nah, I saw someone on the weekend. Did you just back into them? That's what I do. Nah, I was waiting outside a lovely little bakery

and I saw someone like sprint down the road to an empty parallel park spot. Yeah. And then just stood there with their arms out like plane wings and they were just shaking their head at any car that tried to come down. That's not how it works. From a legal perspective, you couldn't run them over or even nudge them. Like just gently, could you gently nudge them?

Give them a tap on the thigh. Because that's technically using a motor vehicle as a weapon, isn't it? I suppose it is. Reckless driving, something like that. So you could lie down and, you know, they couldn't run you over because then they'd be

the one in trouble. Well, they could, but they would be in trouble. They would be in trouble, yeah. Well, this is what people say. So people who worked at the park or had been at the park for a long time,

it's a park that's gated, so it opens, it has an opening hour. Oh, yeah. That person had obviously turned up at that opening hour and they buggered off again. Oh, no, no. No, no, no, no.

Someone else said, I was there on that day. I was there for four hours, no sign of them. So they would have had, say, the party at 1pm, got there at 7am to reserve and then left. People said it's the same as, you know, like back in the days of travel, like pool chairs and stuff and people reserved them with towels. Have you ever seen hotel pool chairs,

like the people rushing for them at early morning? Yeah, you put your towel on and a book. And then they leave. And then they leave. That's a dirtbag move too. Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. A lot of people say, yeah, it's basically like that, reserving a pool chair at 7am and not showing up to the pool till 3.

Yeah. And then someone said, people reading the note, if they wanted to use the park bench, just say they're there for the party. Yeah. We are here for the party. Or just rip out the note.

Yeah. And say it wasn't there when you got there. Yeah, it was gone. It's so aggressively written. I know, yeah. Don't be the one to stop off a four-year-old's birthday party. What are you? Anyway. No, there was no't be the one to stop off a four-year-old's birthday party. What are you? Anyway, no, there was no follow-up as to whether or not the party went ahead

or if there was trouble or not. People sitting on the park. Yeah. Because I don't know, a lot of councils and that around the country, New Zealand, will let you reserve a little area in a park. Did you know that? Yeah, you have to, like, contact the council. A lot of the time you need their

tick to use the area if you're going to use it. Especially if you've got a big group. I take it back, there is an update. There is an update. They finally showed up about six hours into the day. Like six hours into the park being open. Immediately they set up a noisy boom box which attracted the

park rangers. That then got them a lengthy talking to and they've been low-key ever since. Best part is, though, that several families set up blankets surrounding the tables they'd reserved, like families that weren't invited to the parties, which I think got the message across that it's a public park and you can't reserve it. So

passing. I love it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Give them some good news. Give them some good news. Give them some good news. Then give them some bad news. Good, good, bad, good. Good, good, bad, good.

I mean, there's so much bad news in the world, but we can't deny it's happening. So you'll get one bad news story and then the rest is good. We literally sit here trawling the internet like we need some good news. Oh, your voice broke there, didn't it? Yeah, I know. I was giving it drama. We need it.

It's okay. It's okay. But plenty of bad news up for offer. Yeah. You've got a shocker. You've got some good news to start, Vaughan. I do have some great news from Rotorua. If you've ever been swimming in the two main lakes there,

you'll know, well, the one right by town's a bit ducky for me. A bit ducky? It's a bit ducky, a bit goosey. It's a bit ducky, yeah. Yeah, but the Raitoiti next door, beautiful lake. Oh, gorgeous. The worst part about us swimming in there is getting weeds all tangled around your feet. Well, a lot of them are invasive weed species.

You might be thinking, Vaughan, this doesn't sound like good news. Well, here's the good news. An age-old tradition, a traditional method, is working a treat. Woven flax mats have been pinned to the lake bottom, which blocks the sunlight getting through the water to these invasive weeds, and then the part underneath them is dying. And the good part about it is you can just leave the flax mats there.

Yeah. Because eventually they'll break down. Rather than like a sheet of plastic. Exactly. Like weed matting. Wow. Weed matting that you put

in the garden. I'm dealing with it. At the moment, someone put down polythene. In your garden? How ridiculously short-sighted is that? Because then the weeds

just grow on top of the polythene. Yeah. Yeah, be better with a thick mulch. I've been dealing with a lot of mulch lately. No, I'm not into the mulch. But I could get down for flax mats.

Yeah, flax mats as a weed. That's great. As a weed stopper. You missed out Blue Lake where we did float. Oh, yeah. That's my fave lake. But that doesn't have as much weed in it as Rotoiti from my swimming. My somewhat limited swimming experience because Blue Lake still looks very blue.

What's float? It was a concert where the stage was set up right on the lake front and everybody floated on floaties. from like floaties

and in the water. Fun. Yeah. It's great fun. We'll have to experience that at some stage in the future. COVID, you know.

Yeah, surely. Yeah, still present but not dominating our lives as much. You've got some more good news. Yeah, well, that's good news. Good, good, bad, know? Yeah, surely. Yeah. Still present, but not dominating our lives as much. You've got some more good news? Yeah, well, that's good news. Good, good, bad, good. Good, good.

The second good news, the wife of a man who was declared clinically deceased has shared that he has miraculously woken up minutes, not hours, not days, minutes before they were going to cut him open and take his organs. So he was fighting Listeria, which is a rare bacterial infection. It's a mouthwash, isn't it? No, that's Listerine. It's a total care six in one. I think this is what happens when you swallow Listerine.

Nine out of ten dentists agree that Listeria will kill you. Always the brown. Got to go for brown. You're going to blow it apart. No, pink. I'm a pink Listerine. You're a pink Listerine. I'm a pink Listerine. You're a pink. I'm a pink Listerine.

I'd go green, purple or pink before I went the brown. The brown Listerine is the most. The OG original Listerine. Yeah, it looks like Sunday morning wheeze. Yeah, but it blows you. Jesus, you need your kidneys checked if you're Sunday morning wheeze. It's Sunday morning wheeze. God, you're having some big weekends, aren't you?

Yeah, what are you drinking? No, Listeria is a rare bacterial infection that's basically eating him alive. He was declared brain dead. There was nothing, swelling in the brain. Total was a neurological death. Right. So his body is still kind of ticking along. Brain is dead.

Yeah. So the only option really is to end the life support. And because his body was kind of okay, they can harvest his organs and save a lot of lives with them. Yeah, great. Instead, minutes before they were going to cut him open and take his heart and his lungs and his kidneys and everything else, twitchy-witchy, a hand starts moving. Oh. A hand starts moving.

Can you imagine being in a morgue? I'm adding listeria to my do not resuscitate tattoo. I'm going to add my do not resuscitate tattoo. I'm going to have my do not resuscitate tattoo and then a list of things underneath. Yeah, right. Or reasons why I'm undead. If I've been declared brain dead, I'm out. Don't resuscitate. Same.

She demanded, the wife demanded that they do another test to see if there was any signs of life in his brain. And there were. Some had come back to life. Now, this is an ongoing story. No sign as to whether or not he's going to be able had come back to life. Now, this is an ongoing story. No sign as to whether or not he's going to be able to, like, come back from this.

This feels like good news short-term or bad news long-term. It feels like good news pending. You know, like a credit card charge that hasn't gone through yet. Yeah. Good news TBC. Yeah.

But it's pretty, I mean, it's a bit of hope. All right, are you ready for the bad news? I don't know, I know it's pretty bad. As we deal with, it feels like climate change stories every single day. You know, I feel like five years ago, it was like, oh, this

is a one in 100 year event. And those happen every six months now. Yeah, we've kind of stopped saying that because they're every week now. Well, in America, in California, Death Valley National Park in California has scorched a world record for high temperatures. Now, this happened at the end of last week. The park's Furnace Creek thermometer hit 127 Fahrenheit, which at a quick Google Translate, 52.7 degrees.

Too hot. And do you know what? It didn't stop the tourists flocking to Death Valley. I've never been. You go. I've never been. It's on the way. Is it between LA and Vegas?

Yeah, somewhere around there. Yeah, and then you turn off and you can just... Because that's the whole thing of it. You imagine being able to say, I was at the hottest place on earth on the hottest day. I got out of the car for two seconds. What do you wear? They were telling tourists, like, yeah, don't go too far or don't even go at all, but they

didn't stop anyone. Oh, yeah, you wouldn't want to trek too far because you won't make it back. Yeah. Well, that's really bad news. Well, it's bad news. The planet's heating up, guys. Well, I'm going to follow. I'm going to end Good, Good, Bad, Good with not only good news, but cute news.

Okay. So there's a very little town, little English village called Brinklow in Warwickshire. And every year they have an annual scarecrow competition. Okay. This year, the winner, there's 80 displays, incredible displays. People make scarecrows out of straw and whatnot. They display them on the front of their driveways.

Right. So you walk around like you do with the Christmas lights. Exactly like that. There was Mr. Beans. There was an Edward Scissorhands, Spider-Man, Shrek. There was the Queen. The winner this year, and I know you'll like this, Fletch, three minions. Three.

That's so well done. That's a sweet minion. And is that an inflatable banana? Banana. Banana. It's an inflatable banana. We've got an ET on a bike. Wow, it's so well done.

That's actually worth having a Google just to brighten your day. The, what is it, Brinklow Annual Scarecrow Festival. And it's three years off because of the pandemic. It's back. Right. And the minions have taken it out. Now, is there any word, has it worked? No crows to be seen. No. I don't see a single crow

in these photos. Not a single crow. That's great news. Fantastic. Always good not to have a crow. 724. Next, if you've ever done any marathon, half marathon situation, you know how Here we go. He's crowbarring in the fact he did a marathon

10 or 13 years ago. And I don't need to ever do another one again. I'm happy. You've ticked it off the bucket list. Yeah. It was recently the Mexico City Marathon. Well done to all those. Yeah, congratulations.

Congratulations to all involved, to all who partook. However, there was an issue at one of the drink stations. Now, if you've ever done a marathon, you know that those drink stations, you're like, oh, you pass the first one. You're like, I don't actually need it. I'm a high performing athlete. And then the next one, you're like, I could do it. I could do it in a sip.

And then you'd be like, when's the next drink station? Please. Normally like trestle tables and they've got the paper cups. The cups. And then you just chuck them, right? And there's water or like a electrolyte drink or like a flat sugary Coke. Yeah, some people swear by that, don't they?

A flat. A little sugar hit. Yeah, a little sugar hit gets you going. And you're meant to pinch the paper cup, eh? To make it easier to drink. Tip it down your throat. Because you can't be running along. And once you stop that far into it, it's hard to get going again.

I mean, you'd know you've... Upcoming 13 years ago, yeah, I did a marathon. Wow. I usually, because I've been known to run a couple of 5Ks every year. Gotcha. I usually put one of those little backpacks on, you know, the camel backpacks for a 5K. I don't have time to stop on a 5.

Yeah. Marathon runners don't use those, eh? No. Not as much. Because it's weight, isn't it? It slows you down. Yeah. Sloshing, it sloshes too.

Yeah. A lot of sloshing back there. Ruins your running gait So the Mexico City Marathon Happened And a man has been Identified as the person That did the following

A video appeared on social media Of the big trestle table Set up with all the drinks He stumbles out of a bar at 6 o'clock With a bottle of rum that he stole from a bar and just walks down tipping rum in all the cups. And then back. Was it white rum?

Or would they have noticed it was brown? No, no, it was dark. It was dark rum. But it was like a yellowy drink anyway. Yeah, so they just think it was electrolytes. Darkened it a little bit. Oh my God. That would really throw you, wouldn't it? Because I don'tened it a little bit. Oh my God. That would, that would really

throw you, wouldn't it? Because I don't think, Oh, yup. I think because you don't, like you say, they're not sipping,

going, oh, oh, that's rum. Yeah. Open the gullet, like a pelican. And it would,

it would really take you by surprise. Especially rum. He said, this is the translation, I'm going to pour this damned Marsulium rum brand.

The runners will be on a cloud. It'll be the greatest race ever, he said as he laughed. But no, it wasn't. It's like

insanely backfired. Oh, really? And now he's in a lot of trouble. Yeah. Because he's effectively spiked somebody's drink.

Yeah. Yeah, true. He's effectively put something in a drink that people believe are being served one thing and are being served another. Yeah. Granted, it's not to the extent of actually spiking somebody's drink. Yeah. But it's, you know, in the same family of offence.

And especially because some people, that would be their one marathon, right? They'd be like, I'm going to finally do a marathon. Well, you only need to do one. And then you do one and then you retire. And then you go on about it for the next 13 years. Yeah, look at him.

He's still wearing his bloody medal today. Yeah, well, I wear my medal under my shirt every single day. Under here, I've still got the shirt they give you

and my race number on as well. Oh, yeah. Just looking at this, it was at the 21K mark. So halfway. Yeah. So you're really like, that's where the mental game comes. As you'll know, the mental at the 21k mark. So halfway. Yeah. So you're really, like, that's where the mental game comes, as you'll know, the mental

game. Wow, yeah. I found my wall at about 34 kilometres an hour. An hour? An hour. 34 kilometres of running. But that was the Auckland Marathon. The last half of that's all flat. Yeah. So what are you wondering about? But no, you run out to

St Halley's. It's the turning around that really gets into your head because you're like, I kind of remember exactly how far that part was. Yeah. And then you've just got to slow. Maybe you should have

stopped at Baker's Delight. That's true. Carb up. Get a cinnamon scroll. Oh no, I could have done it in a sweet scroll. I would have gone

for a ham and cheese scroll. Yeah, right. Yeah, carb load. Yum, yum. Yeah. Well, hey, I'm not, well, I haven't done a marathon. You have. I'm not one to tell you how to run a marathon. Yum, yum, yum. Yeah. Well, hey, I'm not... Well, I haven't done a marathon.

You have. I'm not one to tell you how to run a marathon. Oh, I wouldn't take your advice anyway. I'd ignore it completely. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. It was the Emmys yesterday. So Sunday, American time.

No, it was the Emmy... The technical Emmys? The technical, the pre-ceremony Emmys Like the Like we don't televise them Not so Yeah Not as important Emmys

Yeah But still it's an Emmy Well let's Let's not say Not so important Paris Goebel Yeah Won an Emmy

That was for the Rihanna show Wasn't it For the Rihanna show And Peter Jackson won an Emmy For the Beatles For the Beatles thing Yeah He won in everything he was known in, all five categories.

Yeah, and a lot of people became egos. Because I saw the other day Adele, all she needs is a Tony. A Tony. Eminem, same. All he needs is a Tony because he's got an Oscar, an Emmy, and a Grammy. Why is there not an Eminem Broadway show? Surely there is, right? Oh, my God.

It's a sit-up. These weak arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already. It's all spaghetti! They absolutely need to do an eight mile. And giant spaghetti noodles come down from the... No, no, no. It's actors. It's actors fresh out of drama school

playing mum's spaghetti. You've got to lose yourself in the music the moment you own it. They're sitting on this. He needs to do this. If he doesn't do it, I'll do it. And I'll face the legal action. The National Party are doing all right. They've been sued by him.

Yeah, they've been okay. I'm sure he's going to do this because now he's going to Ego. He doesn't have the Egot. He has to get into the theatre world for the Tony. That's where, for those that don't know, the Egot is the Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony. The Tony Awards are for Broadway. Yeah, big theatre awards. Yeah.

Anyway, so at these Emmys yesterday, not only did the Kiwis do us proud, but Barack Obama won an Emmy for Best Narrator for his documentary series on the Great National Parks called Our Great National Parks. A fish that can walk.

Surfing hippos want to catch the waves. Species found nowhere else on Earth. He's got a great voice. He really does. It's his rhythm. It really lends itself to nature documentaries. Like it's the same with Attenborough.

Like Attenborough's got the voice, but Attenborough's also got that pacing and that. Yeah. Well, here's the thing that people are like, I mean, winning an Emmy at any time must feel amazing. He beat David Attenborough for best narrator. So he was up against a number of people full of famous names, including Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Lupita Nyong'o, and David Attenborough.

What about the guy that narrates Air Crash Investigations? I love his voice. He's got a great voice. What is his voice like? I don't know. What about the guy that narrates Gold Rush? Meanwhile, over at Parker Schnabel's. Oh, yeah.

Something mine. It's not all smooth sailing. So American. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Meanwhile. And then they explain how the gold sluice works. He's like, heavy gold nuggets drop into the sluice. It's like, okay, tell me more.

So many people were like, oh, my God, I can't believe he beat David Attenborough for best narration because David Attenborough isice. Yeah. He's like, okay, tell me more. So many people were like, oh my God, I can't believe he beat David Attenborough for best narration because David Attenborough is iconic. Yeah. They say the difference is

Obama's sexy. Oh, yeah. Like, Attenborough has a very incredible voice. It's wisdom, right? It's wisdom versus charisma. And we trust that. Yeah.

We'll say he's probably won a hundred times. Oh, so many times. He doesn't give two cents that he didn't win this one. So Obama, they're saying like, yeah, he's knowledgeable. He's wise, but also hot. It's a sexy voice. It's a hot voice.

So I want to listen to some more hot voices. What did he say? That was one of the words that he said, species. Species. He had three different S-y sounds. Yeah, sexy S-y sounds. The species Species Yeah You had three different Essie sounds Yeah Sexy Essie sounds So we want to know Who you think

Has the sexiest voice You've ever heard Maybe it is a celebrity Mine's Scottish actor Richard Marden So from Game of Thrones He was in the

Out and John film Yes He's hot The bodyguard The bird Yeah The scene under the sheets The scene under the sheets He The scene under the sheets.

He was a start, wasn't he? He was a start. I don't think you've got a chance there, hon. Hey, I think he likes all people. Does he? I think so. That's my impression of him. Right.

But there's some famous sexy voices. Well, the Scottish have always, like Sean Connery, for example. Yes. It's that accent. Jared Butler, he's another sexy Scottish. That's just accents, though. So, do you want to hear from people that have a particular celebrity accent they find very

sexy? Or does it have to be a celebrity? No, no, no. It could be, like, maybe the voice is what led you to your partner. You heard, Hey, can I take your order, please? And then you were like, I'm going to marry that woman. You know, maybe her voice is that hot. Maybe you've been listening to my voice since I've had COVID

and you're thinking, my God. It's just down. She has never sounded better. It's those half-blocked nasal cavities that just do something. Just the left is blocked and the throat is dry. Maybe it's half-blocked nasal cavities that just do something. Just the left is blocked and the throat is dry. Maybe it's working for you. We want to know who has the sexiest voice in the world for you. Well, Barack Obama,

former president of the USA, has won an Emmy Award for his narration beating out David Attenborough. Incredible. People are amazed. People are amazed, but they think his edge was his sexiness. His sexiness. We want to know what accent or what voice you find really sexy. Maybe it's a celebrity.

Maybe it's how you met your partner. Just because they spoke and you were just like. Someone did say it's their wife's voice that they think is the sexiest, but only when she's sick. So they quite like when she's like, I'm not feeling well. They're like, good. And they're like, don't wear a mask in public. Yeah.

Yeah, get COVID-ing. Get COVID-ing. And maybe your long COVID will be forever husky. Sarah, what's the celebrity voice that you find sexy? Oh, I just, Irish accent's man, Christopher O'Dowd of Bridesmaids. From Bridesmaids. Oh, from the IT crowd. Yes.

Now, I did, when I saw this name pop up on the call display, I was excited to look up my favourite part from IT crowd. With Chris O'Dowd. With Chris O'Dowd, where he's talking about the girl that he's seeing whose parents died in a fire at a sea parks. So this is the voice that, if you're not familiar with Sarah's crush, this is Chris O'Dowd. Her parents died in a fire.

Oh, God, I'm sorry, that's horrible O'Dowd. Her parents died in a fire. Oh, God. I'm sorry. That's horrible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was a fire. At sea parks. Oh, my God.

Canned laughter. Wild. That show's so great, though. So good. Very great show. Yeah, Irish accents. It's the Irish, isn't it? Yeah, we used to, when I was in uni, before I met Aaron, of course,

we used to just go to the Irish pubs in Wellington because I often had Irish bartenders. Right. We would just chat to them. There was a real Christchurch influx post-earthquake in the rebuild. Yeah. Lots of Irish construction workers came over. Oh, my God.

If you put Irish and construction worker together in the same sentence, you're there. You're there. You're walking down the street saying, I think it's time Cat Callen came back. Yeah. Caitlin, what's the celebrity accent you find irresistible? What in our team?

It is by far going to be Idris Elba. Oh. Ladies and gentlemen, hi, my name's Idris Elba, and I have been set up. Oh, yeah. Pommy, it's like any of the like British, Irish, Scottish. But it's the tough guy because like David Beckham, Victoria Beckham have got their like...

Hello. Hey, they're almost comical accents. It's got to be those rough, industrial sounding British and Irish accents. All right, keep them coming through. 9696 to text. Then you can give us a call. 0800 dials at M. Who do you think's got the sexiest voice in the world?

We are talking about the world's sexiest voices, according to you. Vaughan's laughing. Because the person on the phones is... Like, we're all just like, I've just never heard this person speak. Yeah. Anonymous has called up.

Good morning, Anonymous. Good morning. Good morning. Now, what is the celebrity's voice that you find the most hottest? Pitbull. Mr. Pitbull. Which, I'm just looking at a photo of him. It's wild that his singing voice comes out of this body.

He looks like he's going, like, Hell I am. You know, like this. Yeah, like an Italian opera, yeah. But we were just saying, I don't think, apart from hearing him in songs, yelling, I don't think, apart from hearing him in songs yelling, I don't think I've ever heard him in an interview. Yeah, what is it about his voice, Anonymous,

that you... that tickles you? It's just sexy. It's sort of deep and hustly and just, you know... Are you sure it's not the bald thing? It could be the bald thing. It could be the bald thing. It could be the bald thing.

Whoa, whoa, hey, hey! Oh, gosh, you jumped away from that one, didn't you? It could be. Can we... Hey, whoa! Hey! Hey! Oh gosh, you jumped away from that one, didn't you? It could be. Have you got a little pitbull for us? I haven't. All I know is that this is the part where he's speaking in the interview. I don't believe it's got swear words in it. Okay. I don't let the game play me. I play the game.

So with that said, we've worked very, very hard to be able to create our own agendas, our own schedules, and create our own opportunities. Well, it sounds like he's talking about scheduling and calendars and stuff there. Yeah. Does that get you going, Anonymous, talking about schedules and calendars?

That's true, it does. Yeah, it's like it's called glottal fry. Have you heard much of him speak in interviews, or just songs? Just songs, really, but yeah. Yeah, right. Okay, well, there's Have you heard much of him speak in interviews or just songs? Just songs, really, but yeah. Yeah, right.

Okay, well, there's a whole wealth of YouTube interviews there that you can delve into. Do you know who's got a hot voice in songs? Who? Tom Jones. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, I was listening to him yesterday. What news, Cap? Yeah.

She is a lady. Anonymous, thank you. Some messages in. Somebody messaged in Michael Sheen. Michael Sheen is a fantastic British actor. Yeah. He's so... And he was married to Kate Beckinsale.

Yeah. For like years. Did you not know this? They've got a daughter, Lily Sheen, their daughter. Really? Yeah. Is his daughter with... Wow.

Okay. Kate. Kate. Which I'll just... Tip my hat to her. Tip of the hat. Well done to you, sir. Sir, this is Michael Sheen's voice. Kate. Which I'll just tip my hat to her. Tip of the head. Well done to you, sir. Sir, this is Michael Sheen's voice.

Hello, I'm Michael Sheen. This will be my AMA, my Ask Me Anything. Oh, for God's sake. That is good. They need to bottle that and sell it. What about Jon Hamm? Oh, Jon Hamm, yeah. He's got a great voice. Get a little bit of Mad Men. Yeah. Mad Men, Jon Hamm, yeah. He's got a great voice.

Get a little bit of Mad Men. Mad Men, Jon Hamm. I don't know. Oh, my gosh. What? This is Jon Hamm and David Tennant in one video. David Tennant's got a beautiful voice too. Doctor Who, David Tennant.

Broadchurch. My name's Jon Hamm. And I'm David Tennant. And we're going to be doing the Wired autocomplete interview. They switched. In Scottish. Oh, yeah, right. Any sexy women texts coming in?

So somebody said Alicia Vikander, who was in the Tomb Raider movies. She was an ex-marketer as well. She's a Swedish actress. Right. I just found a little clip of her talking to Jimmy Kimmel. And then I'm gonna give them The Swedish version And then they're not gonna

What is the Swedish version Of your name? Alicia Vikander Yeah that's beautiful Oh yeah That's beautiful That's Swedish That Nordic

Accent But I've got My latest What about Natasha Leon Is it her last name? Oh

What was she She's so frantic Isn't she? You're Russian dog That was the thing She's done frantic, isn't she? You're Russian Doll. That was a thing she's done lately. But no, any Kiwis? No. Vinnie Jones, Jason Statham, Jared Butler.

No votes for Reece Darby in there? No, Reece Darby. No. No Kiwis on our list. Killian Murphy when he plays Thomas Shelby from Peaky Blinders. Someone said Hayley Sproul, especially when she says daddy. Don't say it. I feel like this is just fetishising.

Just careful. Careful. Someone said, I'm about to marry one of those Irish tradies you mentioned before that came to Christchurch for the rebuild. Hayley's going to need to see photos. Look, I love Aaron. I love him with everything I have, but if an Irish tradie turns up to my renovation.

Yeah. It's all over, mate. Is it a pass card? Have you spoken about this? I'm not even asking for a pass card. Go and get the needle good. No, that's not quite right. It's a trance, isn't it?

Go and get the needle good. I can't even do it. I can't even do it. I'm flustered. You need some new doubts. I'll sing it loud in case you don't already know. Pack up your shit and go. We need some new doubts. So this survey looked at adults who drink alcohol. Yeah.

Now I would say all present to varying degrees enjoy a drink. Yeah. Now, I would say all present to varying degrees. Enjoy. Enjoy a drink. Enjoy a drink. Yeah. Particularly looking into cocktail drinking. Okay. That they have included a beer and a wine. But cocktails in particular, and that's cocktail season. Look at the sun outside.

It's coming. Yeah, it's coming. I know South Island, you're absolutely drenched in snow. You change your cocktail of choice depending on season, don't you? If they're not cocktail season. But if you've got like a, what's the thing? Your final meal. You know, if you were on death row. I don't think they do cocktails

on final death row. Do they? Some prisons. Right. In the States. Just do a one litre bottle of Jameson's. So that you're like basically out. Out to it.

Good luck carrying this guy. Drag me down the bloody dead man walking. Good luck getting some current through this body. The current just comes in and is like, what the heck? What is the resistance here? Yeah. I believe it's Jamesons. We have to try again tomorrow and then you've got a hangover.

You're like, oof, I regret that. Just get it done with me. I feel like shit. Anyway, so they looked at, I regret that. Just get it done with me. I feel like shit. Anyway, so they looked at, I don't know how they put it all together. What's your favourite cocktail? And then asked them a bunch of questions. And it has revealed what your favourite cocktail says about your love life. Right.

So I'm trying to think about my favourite cocktail. I think if it came down to it, it's a margarita. Tequila, triple sec, lime, salt. Yeah, yeah. How good is a salty margarita? Chili, chili, chili margarita. Tequila, triple sec, lime, salt. Yeah, how good is a salty marg? Chili, chili, chili marg. Yum, yum, yum, yum. Well, they say that we

as lovers, margarita lovers, are more introverted. Oh, you're a very extroverted lover from what I've heard. What, through the walls? Yeah. Or just in passing. That's what I've heard word around the campfire. Right, okay.

They say that mojito lovers... I was going to say because you and I love a mojito. That's you. You love big, strong men. What about... I would have put you

as an Aperol Spritz as much as a mojito. I did have an Aperol Spritz phase. Have you grown out of that phase? I told you it was just a phase. Well, they said that mojito lovers are the most successful in the bedroom and the most successful in terms of numbers when it comes to dating. Oh, lovely.

Is that aligning with anything in you? Successful in the bedroom with hundreds of people. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. aligning with anything in you? Successful in the bedroom with hundreds of people. And... You'll be hearing from my lawyer. Salacious. And you are also, in general, the happiest with your life. Okay.

It's because you're out dating. You're not bogged down by marriage. Drinking a sweet little minty limey muddled... Oh my God. Mojitos are the best. Only in summer. No, in winter too. Oh no God. Mojitos are the best. Only in summer. No, in winter too. Oh no.

But you've got to get a place that does them right because some people use cordial or they teep out on them and they yuck when that happens. Do you do soda water in your mojito or a lemonade? You do a soda water. A soda water. That's too much of lemonade. Too much sugar.

They literally smash sugar in the bottom with the lime. Yeah. But I just put Tabasco sauce in anything. Right. I put Tabasco in my margarita. I put Tabasco in my mojito. Really? Yeah, man, I love a spicy cocktail.

I mean, I would definitely try that. And sometimes some cracked black pepper and Aaron's like, what's going on here? What is it? Okay, it's not scrambled. It's not bloody poached eggs on toast. Calm down. Cracked black pepper, a bit of hollandaise in my mojito.

Oh, I love it. Vaughan, what is your favourite cocktail? It would be whiskey based. A whiskey sour? It would be like an old fashioned. Sours. Hang on, let me find a sour. Oh, it goes into music that you'd like.

Extroverted in the bedroom. Well, yeah. Extroverted in the bedroom. Well, yeah. Extroverted out of the whole bunch. You're just lucky to be there. Just pleased to be in attendance. Sangria drinkers. So your wine, fruity. I also love a sangria.

I wouldn't class that as a cocktail, though, to me. That's more just a... Yeah, but it is. A cocktail is like mixing. Yeah, okay, it's mixed alcohol. There's some juice in there. Most likely to have had less than five partners. So you can't love a mojito with your hundreds

and a sangria with your five. You've got to choose a lane. What does it say about the beer? You said beer and wine drinkers were on the list. Ice cold beer, also very extroverted. And belchy, are they belchy? Quite belchy. Quite farty.

Quite farty. And they did mention a wine. Where's your wines? Oh no, just saying that wine was the third most popular drink out of all. So they said it went beers, margaritas, and wine. Were there any introverted lovers in the bedroom? We heard a lot about the extroverted.

Or just run through some of the other cocktails and what it means. The introverted is the margarita. No, that's all of the ones that they tested. Okay. So you've got your margs, your sangria, your wine, your beer. Oh, daiquiris. And I don't hear the, what's the one that's the Long Island?

Martini. No, Long Island iced tea. Are you getting to the bedroom? You'd be passed out in your own spew. You're not getting anything in the bedroom. She's like, give us a minute, I'll get it going. How many Long Island's I see? She's like, four.

Four Long Island's is like 50 drinks. I'm out. Sorry about that, love. Try again in the morning, eh? 17 past eight. Next on the show, I've got a daughter at school camp. It's our first kid off at school camp. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Our daughter is at camp at school camp. It's our first kid off at school camp. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Our daughter is at camp at the moment. School camp. The oldest. And I remember camps fondly. I used to love school camps. Yeah, there was all the prep in the lead up to school camps. Did you do that? Yeah, man. Like studying the area you were going to go. Yeah. Learning how to cook on a burner

or whatever. Yeah, making that dough that you'd wrap around a stick. Damper. Wrap around a stick and cook over a fire. Yes. Now, is this quite an emotional time for you? I'm actually handling it better than Sade, which is surprising. Sade, yesterday it was raining hard out in Auckland. Yeah.

And that was the day that they left to go to camp. And Sade was just like, I hope she's okay. I hope she's not too wet. I hope she's not too cold. I hope they're all okay. And she was very like, it's still raining. I hope that her... I thought you'd just be stoked to get them out of the house.

But there's still one there, so it's not total freedom. Yeah. The young one's still hanging around. And August has just been... Shade said to her, you're the only child for the week. And her eyes lit up. So we talk about, you know, when you've got more than one child,

how you talk about only children? Yes. You know, when there's like two or three children, you're always like, that one's an only child. Yeah. They've obviously heard that because she's like, yeah, fully embracing only child life. Right.

Me, me, me. Yeah. No compromise, no nothing. So yeah, she went away and yeah, Shade was worried about her. But like school camps are so much different now because it kind of blew my mind thinking about it. I hadn't really thought about it. When we went to school camp when I was at school,

you were gone. You just disappeared. Your parents were like, bye. And you're like, see ya. Chucking on the bus. You were gone for like a week with zero contact with the outside world. Cell phones wouldn't have been a thing until what, like early 2000? Early 2000. You might have been the odd person that would have had them in the outside world. Yeah, true. Cell phones wouldn't have been a thing until what? Like early 2000? Early 2000.

You might have been lucky. I would have been the odd person that would have had them in the 90s. It was a real. Late 90s. Rare though. But not in the bushes either. No.

No, and there would have certainly been no coverage in the bush. No. Yeah, you're right. You would have gone away on a Monday or a Sunday and then come back on a Friday or the weekend. With half of your clothes missing

and everything's muddy and... And your ankle in a bloody strap or something because you twisted it. And your sleeping bag smells like wheeze because you did wheeze on shoes that night, but you're too scared to tell anybody, so you just slept in a wheeze the whole way. That was, I never. Hayley, why didn't you say something? I was embarrassed. As a bedwetter, did you have that anxiety going to camp?

I kind of stopped wetting the bed once I had my kidney surgery and I was like nine, so I don't think we'd really gone to camp yet. Not like super going away ones, so I didn't have to deal with it. Fuel. Because I never wet the bed, but it was always your big fear that you were going to wet the bed on school camp because no one would ever forget. Well, my mum used to do a trick which was like before my operation,

if I was staying at a friend's house, she'd always see me with a sleeping bag and she'd put like a little pull-up in it, like a little nappy. Like a big black sack, a rubbish bag. No, like a nappy. Oh, right. So I would hop in and then wriggle your undies off and then wriggle this pull-up. Oh, my God.

That is great. So then I didn't have to like announce. Yeah, right. I was getting changed into my nappy. Well, the most embarrassing thing, I can still remember at school camp, the adult supervisor was coming around making sure everybody was in bed

and brushed their teeth and everything. Yeah. And one of the kids' mums came through and was like, good night. And I was like, night, mum. It wasn't my mum. Oh, shame. And everyone was just like,

what did he say? And I was, that's kind of how beautifully naive we were at the time. The biggest mistake you could make was either wet your sleeping bag or call someone that wasn't your mum, your mum. Did he call someone that wasn't his mum his mum? He'll never forget it.

We've just had a little message from producer Jared who would like to take this opportunity to share a story from year five camp. What happened, young man? I did a little wee-wees in my sleeping bed. Little wee-wees. Well, your mom needed to pack the nappy. No, and it never happened before. I never had a thing about wetting the bed,

and then I think it was my first night in a little tent by myself. I got a little bit scared. Oh, you see, was it kind of like a mix of too scared to go outside as well as the nerves? Yeah, but was this in South Africa? No, no, no, New Zealand. Oh, because I was going to say. The smell of urine would attract the animals. Yeah, you wouldn't want to be eaten by a rhino or something.

That or your urine marked the territory and you became the alpha male. Hopefully option B. And what, or you were in Mark the Territory and you became the alpha male. So hopefully option B. And what, you became the leader of the kingdom? Is that what you mean, of all the animals? Yeah. Oh, right. Sort of inadvertently, you are the new Simba. Right.

Fantastic. So how did you handle the whole situation? Well, like, I woke up, like, at the end of the wee-wee. Oh, that's the worst. The best is when you can wake up right at the start, so it's just a little dribble. Yeah. So it wasn't a huge one, so it wasn't like a major operation, but I like quickly got out my tent in the middle of the night,

real cold, like shook out all my sleeping bag. Oh, man. Yuck. Oh, you poor kid. And it was like the last night of camp. I wasn't going to tell anyone. I managed to clean it all up and no one knew. Did you tell your mum when you got home, though?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She was like, there is wheeze in that sleeping bag. Sleeping bag smells a bit funky. Oh, mum. Put that in the wash and get it on the line. So somebody said, my dad famously pooped his pants on school camp. Oh, you'd never live that down.

That sounds worse. You'd never live it down. You've got to change schools. Yeah. You've got to change schools. Move towns, even. Yeah. Oh, somebody said, what about at the end of school camp. Oh, you'd never live that town. That sounds worse. You'd never live it down. You've got to change schools. Yeah. You've got to change schools. Move towns even. Yeah. Oh, somebody said,

what about at the end of school camp when all the lost property was laid out and there was always a pair of undies? Yes! And no one would own up to them. No one would own up to it. And then the teacher would be like, I'll read the name in it.

And then there was just this whoosh across the crowd. The teacher would pick it up and be like, Smith. I'd be like, please, please, please. Please, please. I'd be like, please, please, please, please.

I've got my whole life ahead of me. We're getting photo updates and everything every sort of couple of hours, so it's not like the school camp of yesteryear where your children were just gone in the bush for a week. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Facts of the day.

Day, day, day, day. I reckon that's got to be our worst one of the year, I reckon. Did you inhale too hard, Fletch? Up there, yeah. And then you got a cough. Croaked it. May I please take this moment to read from volume 265, issue two,

of the Journal of Theoretical Biology? You may. Yes, please. Yes, please. I would like, if I may. I've already read it, but you can read it now. Yes. Well, it came out in 2010, so a bit of a catch-up,

a bit of a reminder. It's a classic edition, though. One of my top five. About a paper written by Donald N. Henderson and Darren Naish. Okay. What does Naish N. Henderson want? It is titled, Predicting the Buoyancy, Equilibrium and Potential Swimming Ability

by Giraffes by Computational Analysis. What? This is theoretical biology because they couldn't practically test this because zoos just won't let you borrow a giraffe and chuck it in the deep end of the Olympic pool in Newmarket. See if it'll float. Ruthless.

Have you ever seen a giraffe swim? There's a new baby giraffe at Auckland Zoo, isn't there? We can't chuck that in. But it's a good size one. To take your babies to swimming lessons so that they are safe around the water. I guess when you think of giraffes, you think of them in dry African sort of plains.

Very dry African. But not in water. Elephants you do too and elephants are very capable swimmers. I know. I've swum with some. You've swum with elephants? Yeah, I swim with elephants.

I'm going to admit it. I did a Thailand swim with elephants. Oh my God. Did you do a cancer? I did. It was like years ago and I didn't know. Because we did our

It was a rescue. We thoroughly, thoroughly researched before we went to one. The worst part about swimming with elephants at this rescue centre in Thailand

was they were just like pooed in the water the whole time. Oh yeah, yeah. So you were like in the water Massive floating dumps. Yeah, there's huge dumps That does not sound appealing.

Yeah. I wouldn't do it again. Right. Well, giraffes just can't swim. People have never seen giraffes swimming. Look at them. Of course they can't. Well, they did analysis on them because they'd never seen them swim.

Yeah. And they tried a few different theories on how it would swim. And it just sounds like a really cute model that they built. They based it on a horse but changed the proportions. Yeah. But there's also some other differences between horses and giraffes that will make them unlikely to be

able to swim. Now, the body of a horse is round. Yeah. Like if you think about it, if you just lopped a horse in half. And then looked at it, it would be round. Like a potato. But a giraffe's more oval shaped. Sort of teardrop. Which would lead to wobbling side to side.

And their legs are very, very long and very, very close. True. So they wobble. It would wobble and tip over. Terrible design. Also, it wouldn't be able to keep its head above water. You know when you're lying on your back and the key to keeping your body floating is to push up at the hips? Yeah.

If you try to keep your head above water too much, that's when the body sinks. Yeah. And it goes skew-iff. So they said even if the giraffe, imagine seeing a giraffe swimming and its head was horizontal to the water. Yeah. And it was going like that.

They said it wouldn't be able to do it because its head would then be underwater and it would drown. Yeah. So they tested a whole lot of other things. When giraffes run, they run two legs at a time. Like their front two legs work. So a gallop, not a trot. Yeah, whereas horses can swim because they can go back to the leg at each time and it keeps them balanced.

Oh, right. But horses can gallop two at a time, but giraffes apparently can't. Wow. Which leads them to, if they did that, they'd just be going. Down, down, down. Squish, squish, squish, squish. You're not really going anywhere in the water. Silly giraffe.

Silly giraffe. They don't make a lot of sense. No, they're silly. What's the little nibby knobby bits? The little. At the top. The little half horns. Yeah.

The little antlers that aren't antlers anymore. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. So. Bizarre creature. They found that a full size adult giraffe Would become buoyant

In water deeper than 2.8 metres Yeah But unable to swim in it They would perform Very poorly Compared to most other mammals And hence likely

To avoid swimming If possible Or it would lead to Almost certain drowning Yeah I'm almost amazed That they even got on the ark To be honest

Because they would have been A logistical nightmare Oh my god Have you not seen the photos? Aren't they even got on the ark, to be honest, because they would have been a logistical nightmare. Oh, my God. Have you not seen the photos? Aren't they the heads out the top? They had the heads out the top. Yeah. They were on the top deck and the heads out the top.

Yeah, but I just wouldn't have bothered. Even with that, I wouldn't have bothered. The photographer captured it quite clearly, Fleck. You can see the heads are at the top of the boat. The painter who saw it all happening. The historical event. Yeah. The painter painted it as it was happening

and then tossed Noah the painting and said, I understand why I'm being left to drown. Good luck on your journey, sir. Here's a painting I've done of your admirable endeavour. Yeah. And away they went. Okay. So today's fact of the day is giraffes can't, won't and should not swim.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I want to know if anyone who is listening this morning has been named after something funny. Is there a funny story behind their name? Because there is a British couple that have welcomed a beautiful daughter into their life. Congratulations of course

first. Yep. And they decided to name their daughter, humming and harring, what are we going to call her, after their favourite dish. Pecora. Pecora. So if you don't know what a pecora is, it's like a beautiful Indian fritter. Offered like a spicy fritter with like, kind of like a bhaji.

P-A-K-O-R-A. P-A-K-O-R-A. It's like, yeah, yum, yum, yum, yum. This was the thing. What thing? This was the thing. Pakora. This is the thing.

I had the time and I didn't get the name and it had like a little. That's right. A little sour creamy situation on top. I don't even want to eat sour cream. Vaughn was very upset because he said I had this thing at this restaurant and it was real yum. Pecora. And then he couldn't work out what it was and

never knew. This is fate. It's not a bhaji. It's got, because it can, like bhaji is usually like just onion, right? Yeah. But pakora is, like, different veggies. We can even have meat in them. But at the same time, this is like parents saying, we're going to call our new daughter butter chicken.

Thai green curry. Yeah. Pad Thai. Pad Thai. This is pad. Yeah. Short for Paddington? No, short for Pad Thai.

Mr. and Mrs. Brown, what have you named your son? Hash. Yeah. Ah, what have you named your son? Hash. Yeah. Ah, Hash. So this is what I want to know. Have you been named after something funny? Did your parents name you after their favourite cigarette brand? Talking to you, Benson.

Yeah. And Hedges. Well, they famously were twins called Benson. Benson and Hedges. And Black and Decker. Maybe that you were named after your parents' drink of choice. Or favourite celebrity. A lot of parents name their kids after celebrities or celebrity kids.

Yeah. Maybe they named you after where you were conceived or in the backseat of the car they called you... Backseat. Prius. They called you Prius. Yeah they called you... Back seat. Prius. They called you Prius. Yeah. Because you were conceived in a Prius.

There's a lot of room in the back of a Prius. They are actually quite roomy. It's like a perfect sort of taxi or Uber. Yeah, an Uber, yeah. All right, well, 0800DARLS at M. We want you to give us a call now and you can text as well, 9696. Were you named after something funny? Or have you named your kids something silly?

Give us a call. So we want to know this morning. If you were named after something funny, because a couple in the United Kingdom have named their little baby Pecora because they love an Indian Pecora. And so do I. I do too. I just didn't know the name of it. Yeah.

I also love a Samosa. So maybe you were named after a food. Maybe you were named after an object or something funny. Do you think if Aaron and I have a baby I could call it Samosa Cortese? Yes. Samosa Cortese. Very puzzling. Though with his Italian last name maybe more of a Bolognese Cortese. Yeahamosa. Yes. Samosa Cortese. Very puzzling. Though with his Italian last name,

maybe more of a Bolognese Cortese. Yeah. Yeah. Garlic bread Cortese. Or, I love a Mama Fiorellis. Mama Fiorellis. I'm telling you,

that is a great garlic bread. That is a chunk. That is a chunk. To the garlic bread. Some messages in. My friend is named Middlemore after the hospital he was born in. Sorry. No, no, no, no, no.

Middlemore. But then you couldn't have it as a middle. What's your middle name? Middlemore. So more. No, Middlemore. Yeah, your middle name. Jane Sproul. Yeah. Middlemore. Middlemore. What do you call him? Middy. My wife's name is Emva. E-M-V-A. Emva. What do you call him? Middy. Someone said, my wife's name is Emva.

E-M-V-A. Emva. After a while I said, I've just never heard the name before. Where's Emva from? I was named after a cream sherry. Oh, wow. Her parents loved Emva cream sherry. Oh, my God.

So there's a bottle of Emva cream sherry that somebody's wife is named after. Like a Bailey's type sort of. Yeah. Someone said, we were at one of those indoor playgrounds for kids, and I heard someone say jet ski. And I was like, I must have misheard it. I heard jet ski said again. So I snuck over and had a peek in the kids' shoes.

And sure enough, there was the name written in the shoes. Jet ski. Jet ski. Jet ski. J-E-T-S-K-I. Jetski. That shouldn't be allowed. Jetski.

Jetski. Get in here, Jetski. Yeah. Jetski. Have you said it like that maybe? It's sort of like Husky, you know, Starsky. Yeah, yeah. Starsky, Jetski.

Jetski and Hutch. It's definitely sort of a pretentious single person boat isn't it? Yes very much so a two person jetski you're holding on to somebody else so tightly

Yeah My best mate named his son MacGyver after the TV show Aaron would 100% do that if we had a kid

MacGyver Yeah Because their last name was Smith so they were like we just had to liven up the first name so Gavin MacGyver

So a couple in the UK have named their new kid after their favourite Indian dish, lamb korma. No, pakora. Pakora. It's actually quite a beautiful name. It is. But it is. But it does bring up images of sort of deep fried spicy fritters.

Yeah. Rather than a fresh new bebe. Now, we want to know from you this morning if you're named after something funny. Or if you've named your child something funny. And Lauren, you've actually named your son something funny. George. Okay, after what?

A vacuum cleaner. Okay, there it is. I was like, George is not a silly name. What? Is that a brand of vacuum cleaner? The George? I'm pretty sure it's big in England. The George?

The George. He's got a green head and he's got big, bright lovely eyes. Smiling. Yes, with the googly eyes. Yes. Oh my god, and so you liked this vacuum cleaner. You thought it was cute, and then you thought,

that's a good name for my son. I was a cleaner, and everyone used to joke that I loved this vacuum cleaner more than anything in life. And if I ever had a son, you should call him George. But I did. And so you did. Is his middle name pneumatic vacuum GVE370-2? They wouldn't allow that on the birth certificate

if I had to settle with Peter. Amazing. That's so funny. Laura, thanks for your call. Jolene, it might be in the name as a bit of a clue. What were you named after? Jolene is after Dolly Parton, of course. Jolene.

Jolene. Oh, look, I knew it was going to happen. Jolene. You're named after the potential home wrecker. Yes, apparently. Are you a home wrecker, Jolene? No, I'm not. Not yet.

I'll tell you what. I'm not going to steal your man, for goodness sake. Keep your eyes off my man. That's all I can say. I'm begging of you. I'm going to, I promise. Named after a Dolly Parton song. That's brilliant, isn't it?

That's a good name. Jolene, do you have wavy locks and auburn hair or whatever it was? I guess actually I do. Oh, my God. Brilliant. Jolene, thanks for your call. Some other messages. Shout out to the twins that somebody went to school with.

Gin. Wigmore. And tonic. Oh, no, no and Tonic. Oh. Oh. No. No. Not serious. Yep.

That's some twins they went to school with. Gin got away with it. Yeah. Tonic, not so much. I always like to put it in front of my own name and think,

is it a name? Tonic James Brown. No. No. Tonic Peter Fletcher. No. It's not happening. I'm named after a Star Trek character for some weird one-off episode in 1979.

Apparently my parents heard it. What's their name? Ailea. Ailea. Ailea. That's quite a nice name. That's a nice name. That's a nice name.

Oh, Irish name or something. Get away with that. My cousin knew of someone whose name was Sinjana. You might be thinking, oh, that's nice. Sinjana was named after synthetic marijuana.

It was the first half of synthetic and the last half of marijuana. Sinjana. No, no, no. Now the child is just called Jana.

Jana. My parents had a big night on the Sambuca and that's why my name is Sam. Oh. It'd be very funny if they made his middle name Booker. Yeah, Book.

Sam Book. Sam Book. Smith. I've got 12 cousins and all of them in some part of their name have some relation to alcohol. It's either their first or middle names. Chardonnay. Chardonnay. Little Pino.

Little Pino's quite cute Gin Voddy Tattoo Yep There's KGB of course Bailey They've had a hell of a year at school

Yeah Bailey Bailey Mudshake Schwarzkopf Not Schwarzkopf That's him Kristoff Schwarzkopf

Tracy Longwhite Yes Oh yeah And Little Pals Yeah Little Pals. Yeah. Little Pals just out of the candy. Love it.

Oh, my God. We named our son Mars because his last name is Barnet. So he's Mars Barn. Oh, wow. I feel like people have too much power. Maybe we need to go, like, we all just get a name. We all just get given one. Yeah, I've always said there should be a naming committee and you've got to pass the committee. You've got to pass the test.

My brother had a friend at school and I always remember the first time he came around to our house and his name was Sherlock and Dad laughed and said, bloody Sherlock Holmes, is it? And he was like, yes. Oh, no. Their last name was Holmes? Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah. No, don't do that. Um,

there's lots. People are just dobbing on other people now, but we want to know your name. My 10-month-year-old is named Freya after the band and brand of bread. I was going to say the bread. Good bread. That's good bread. That's good bread. Pretty good bread.

Our last name's Russell and my cousin's name's Jack. Jack Russell. Jack Russell. Oh, my God. We're getting so many So many I'm naming after the Beatles song Dear Prudence

So I'm Prudence That's nice though I like Prudence That's nice It does make me think of someone Who's a bit like Prudy I mean Prudish

Prudish Prudence Um I My name My son's name's Forrest Not after Gump Gump

Whittaker Forrest Named after Whitaker instead. Both great forests. You didn't mean the black forest, Whitaker's chocolate. Oh, I mean, that also works. That also works. A guy came into my work to get something repaired,

and I said, oh, yeah, we'll just get you to put your name down there. And he's like, oh, yeah, it's Casio. And his middle name was G-Shock. Get out. No, it wasn't. Are you just making these up now? Are you just lying? No, you can go and check all these.

These have been, people might be trolling, but. They might be. It sounds like they might be. All right. Okay, if you had to rate, review, or marry Fletch, Vaughn, or Hayley, what one would it be? Okay, I would marry Hayley. I would have sex. Wait, which one is it? No, I would marry Hayley. I would have sex.

Wait, which one is it? No, no, no, no. It's only rate, review, marry. Oh, okay. No comment. I could have sex with the podcast. I don't know how that would work. Give us a sexy little review, though.