ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 7th February 2023

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

Aussie Dog Rego   Top 6: Cancelled by Wayne  Silly Little Poll!  When did you make an Expensive Mistake?  Indie & August Sold Out!  What Boring thing did your Partner drag you to?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Start your day with a great tasting McCafe coffee made just the way you like it. He's feeling a bit bloody chipper this morning, isn't he Vaughan? He is. He's got a little package in the mail room that's arrived.

We talked on Friday that Fletch has ordered clip-clops shoes for his spin classes. So not a real bike. Did we get that in on Friday? Not a real bike. Not going anywhere. The reason why he couldn't fall off the bike. I could put them on my actual bike as well but I think that's a step too far.

Hang on. So you think wearing clip-clops on your actual bike is dumb but not wearing them on a fake bike? Well, it's not a fake, it's a cycle. Inside non-movie stationary cycle. Okay. Well, no, for those that missed the other day, I purchased some clip-clop cycle shoes for the cycle classes at the gym

because my other shoes kept getting scratched on the side. Boo-hoo. Yeah, boo-hoo. But you just said then, I'm waiting for the shoes. And I said, well, what's that package? You said, that's just the clip-clop bit. You've got to order the clips that go into the clops. It's weird that I slept in one bed with three men at the weekend,

and it's not the most embarrassing thing that happened. Yeah. Yeah. We chose to push our beds together, and we all chatted one big bed, one big bed, one big bed as four grown men slept in a bed together. Yet, that's not as embarrassing as this. Were there no stray boners?

No stray... Well, I can't speak for the others. I wasn't checking, but I can speak for myself. No stray boners. How did the middle people go for a wee-wees in the middle of the night? I slipped off the end of the bed. Oh, so you slipped right the way down. Yeah, just skiddity off the end.

You were middle. I thought you would have been in the middle. No, he's got middle energy. That's shut. I was very surprised I was middle as well, but I likeity off the edge. You were middle. I thought you would have been in the end. No, he's got middle energy. That's shut. I was very surprised I was middle as well, but I like to be surrounded. I'd pick you. By men. You're by men.

Where was Producer Jared? He was on my left. If I was lying on my back, he was on my left-hand side. Right. My friend Callum was on my right-hand side, and then Auburn was far over, but Auburn was snoring. Oh, God. Then I had this long decorative pillow that I was using in place of the body pillow, so

I didn't hurt my back by twisting myself like a pretzel in the night. So I was like, whack, whacking him with that. And he'd be like, oh, what? I'd be like, stop fucking snoring. Did your toes brush against Producer Jared's toes? I don't think we had any toes. When you share a bed, JP? We had little to no.

I don't think we ever accidentally brushed against each other. There was one slight brushing, but I think you were retwisting over the body pillow. I was retwisting. Now what brushed up against you? The knee? Was it a knee or an elbow? It was something to do with the leg range area.

I told him. Oh my God, he's opening up his clip cloths. I got told. I'm just listening to this hot story about four men. I've lost all my boners and potentially my potential to ever get another boner ever in my life. Clip cloth shoes and dudes in beds.

It's definitely not called clip cloths. Do you know the best thing was we were all in an Uber and Hayley was like to my two friends, do you know what Fletch has just bought? Oh my god, no! And they were alright with it it we picked up two of um fletcher's friends well and your friends and my friends my new friends but your long-term friends i said oh my god guys did you know this and they were like oh yeah yeah so now i've lost three

friends now i've lost three friends because i have gym cycle shoes i really thought you would have been uh for this being a gym cycler as well. Let me make it clear that I'm not. So what's in this stupid box of yours? Oh, my God. The little clips. These clip into your shoes that clip into the... But you had your shoes.

You told us the shoes clip directly to the pedals. No, the shoes, you have to buy clips for the shoes. What? But you bought shoes as well. It's like buying a snowboard. Like an adapter. So the shoe is the boot, the bike is the board, and you But you bought shoes as well? It's like buying a snowboard. Like an adapter. So the shoe is the boot, the bike is the board, and you've just bought the bindings. Yes.

So these are like the bindings for a snowboard. Yeah. In that analogy. So wait, these clip-clop shoes don't come with their own clip-clops? No, clip-clop shoes don't come with their own. They only go clop. And then you have to buy the clips so they go clip-clop. I hate this whole process.

Yeah, little clip-clops. Yeah. Oh, for God's sake. He's going to go home. He's going to have to set them up for him. He's going to have to sit there and set them up. I can't wait to do a cycle class with you. I'm not doing any with you anymore.

Actually, producer Carwin's joined Les Mills, so I'm going to go to the gym with her and not you. Wow. Yeah. Wow. You can clippity-clop your little patootie all the way across the gym to the cycle room. And all that great boner work I did sharing a bed with three of my buds is gone.

Boners are dead in this room. This is a zero boner design. And I arrived at work fully erect. And now it's utterly gone. Flaccid. Do you know how boners work? Well, I'm sorry that everybody has to start the podcast flaccid. Yeah.

Enjoy this flaccid. Inverted. This lip load you've just done an excessive amount of exercise and your penis has receded up into the inside. Yeah, it's sucked back up inside. Yeah, I apologise to everybody. Will you imagine after a cycle class what it's done? Oh, for God's sake.

Back, teamed up with the Clip Clops. Yeah, it'll be an in and an eat. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Short week. Yeah, a little squat week.

Thank you, Sam, for that great news about a possible new tropical cyclone. Sam never has anything other than nice things to tell us. Yeah, God damn it, Sam. Miserable, isn't she? You cheer up, Sam. Don't, hey, she's just the messenger. Don't shoot the messenger. Well, who am I going to shoot then?

I demand someone be shot. Maybe you could try firing at the cyclone. Bump it off course. That would work. I've got a wedding this weekend. I can't have... Can't have it. Can't have bad weather. Can't wear gumboots to a wedding. It's got a wedding this weekend. I can't have... Can't have it. Can't have bad weather.

Can't wear gumboots to a wedding. But it's not your wedding, is it? Yeah, but I don't want to get wet. Oh, yeah, true. I don't want to get wet. Oh, you're wearing grey as well. Oh, yes. You can't get wet in grey.

Why can't you get wet in grey? Because it... It goes very dark. Accentuates the raindrops, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Grey is the number one colour changer in wet. Shivers. So why don't you do grey male T-shirts in summer?

You simply could not. That'd be madness. Madness. You aren't both wearing grey T-shirts. Yeah. True. You absolutely look like twins this morning. Well, we do.

We do. Yeah. Except you went labelled. And I went cheap. Well, he's a bit of a brand. We do, we do. Yeah. Except you went labelled and I went cheap. Well, he's a bit of a brand. He's a brand boy and I'm just the basics bitch. But aren't these your man t-shirts? No, this is what I bought.

I went to AS Color in Wellington. Oh, is this a new one? And bought a new t-shirt. Yeah, I need some new socks. Right. It's the best for basics. I need socks, actually. Yeah, great basics.

Great basics at AS. I have to hit up the mart today. The's the best for basics. I need socks, actually. Great basics. Great basics at AS. I have to hit up the mart today. The what mart? The mart. The K. Have you decided which mart? K. Smile mart.

Smile. Can mart. K mart. Your foot's too big for a Japanese sock. It is. Size 10 hooves. We can't. We simply can't.

No. All right. Coming up on the show this morning, the top six is soon. Yeah, Wayne Brown, Auckland Mayor. Huge fan. You'll be, Hayley's message, so glad she voted for him. He's doing such a great job, isn't he?

I voted for him three times, because no one else was voting, so I just started taking other people's sheets. Yeah. You keep getting all your old, the people that lived in your house. Yeah, yeah, so I was like, Wayne Brown. Yeah, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne.

Well, Wayne wants to cancel Christmas to save money this year. I've got the top six other things Wayne Brown will cancel to save Auckland Council some money. Alright, next on the show though, Queenslanders. Some Queenslanders

are losing their licence. Oh dear. And it's nothing to do with their driving. I can't lose my licence because it's expired. He's still not done that. I feel kind of cute today though, so I might go get a little photo. I got a rental car at the weekend

and when I handed across my licence, he said, cute photo. Yeah, yours is cute. It is a cute photo. It's a cute photo. I went, oh my God, thank you. Okay, yeah. The bizarre reason, which I hope doesn't catch on here in New Zealand,

why they're losing their license next. So there's a thing that's happening in Queensland, which I hope doesn't catch on here. Dog registrations. No, that's already a thing, which I hope doesn't catch on here, dog registrations. No, that's already a thing you do have to register your dog. I know you run those dog fighting rungs, and you like to keep those guys off the books. I like to use unregistered dogs for those.

Well, yeah, then it's much easier. It's just easier. How much is dog registration? A hundred in Auckland Council. For a small dog, I think it's like a hundred. I think our big dogs are 170 bucks each. Wait, they do it based on size? Yeah.

But like you're still going to have a dog that's pooping, big or small. Yeah, but little poops. Yeah, but my dog's pooping at home. Right. When you take them out for a walk, they don't do a tootie poopie? Or take them on the side of the road and then you just kick it into the drain. Oh, no, that's not how it works. So in Queensland, it's saying here

that the people that miss their dog registration fines of $24, a registration fee. Right. Do you think that's the fee on top of the annual cost? Surely not. No. Is it a one-off payment, the $170, or do you pay that a year? You pay that yearly.

Oh, my God. Oh, God. Get a cat. Put them down. Get a cat. Put them down, I reckon. It's too much. They shouldn't.

I reckon you should have to register cats. Right. So last year. Shut your mouth. No. Cats should have to have. Bird tacks. A chip put in them where you can turn them off.

The cats. The cats. Well, you shut them down. Yeah, you're like, the council's going to be like, that cat's about to pounce at a beautiful kereru or tui or any of my beautiful native birds. Yeah. And the council are like, not today, cat.

And they have a remote and they point at the cat and they press it and the cat goes, like it's just a shock that goes delivered to the cord. This guy's a monster. To the brainstem. That's the way, monster. To the brainstem. To the brainstem. Major Murray Fluffington isn't even leaving the apartment.

Well, no, he'd be exempt because he's not allowed to leave the apartment. So the reason that people are losing their licenses in Queensland is because all their systems are talking to each other and the people, the 500 people that failed to pay for their dog registration have now lost their driver's license. Their driver's licenses. How ruthless is that? Is it just to, like, try to get their attention to pay their dog fine?

Well, yeah, it's just a penalty for not paying. And some people are like, well, I had the wrong address and now I don't have a license. But, I mean, that's on you for not getting on top of your life, admin. Okay, well, that felt directed at me. That felt really targeted, didn't it? Well, you are getting your license renewed today. I'm going to walk you to the AA.

Because you don't have a license, it means it voids your car insurance. So it's like these people just can't get on with life. And people are like shocked in Queensland. They're like, I can't get to work. I can't drop my kids off. I can't make a living just because I didn't pay a $24 dog registration fee. Hey, just on me getting my photo taken today, could we pop past Mac and maybe do a quick plan?

Get your colours done. You know, get my colours done. Oh, yeah, okay. Totes. And then we pop past a hairdresser and get her to do just a soft blowout. Okay. You know, and there's something cute. Why don't you just have a bad license photo like everybody else?

So I look bad today. Wow. Okay. Okay. How do you do this? That came out. Deal with woman. Oh yeah, it's emotional terrorism. It is, it is indeed. I'm just looking. There's a loophole.

I can pay less for my dogs. How? They've got to be a working dog. Like a farm dog. You've got a be a working dog. Like a farm dog? You've got a farm let. I've got a farm let. But what do your dogs do on the farm

other than poop? Play with chickens gently by grabbing them by the neck. And going Also that other dog you have is nearly dead. It's like a walking

dead dog. Yeah. I don't think that's a farm dog. Oh no I don't think I'm convincing anyone Lulu's a farm dog. But yeah I hope this doesn't catch on here.

Like, government systems talking to each other, that's not fair. Oh, no, no, no, don't worry about that. Our government departments are useless. They can't even talk to themselves, let alone each other. Thank God. All right, 12 past six, next on the show. There are a quarter of people in relationships having this terrible issue. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

There's a new term called the social media widow. So that could mean if you are a social media widow, you are the person who feels that you have basically lost your partner to social media. And actually it's made worse by you having to be involved in it. So there's this massive survey of people in the Britain land. Okay. And a quarter of people said that they feel this way. So they have to...

But they love a whinge, don't they? They moan about everything. I'm sick into this social media. Oh, my God. But they have to, like, they're the ones who have to take the photos of their partners. They're also the ones on the couch next to their partner while their partner's on social media probably too.

But 8% of them said they had to lay on the floor outside to get a good photo for their partner's social media. 8% of them risked their lives for a perfect picture by standing in front of traffic. Oh, yeah, yeah. In front of, you know, tourist attractions. 29% said they got weird looks. 22% said they spend more time taking pictures of their partner on holiday

than they do having pictures taken together. Oh, yeah. That's a bit sad. Because you also don't want to be on boyfriends' Instagram account. Yeah. And because you're not as good looking as them, so they obviously need to be prioritising photography.

20% said they've eaten cold food. It was a result of waiting for the other half to get a perfect picture of their food. I wouldn't stand for it. Aaron wouldn't stand for it either. Just eat. Also with, oh, I mean, I get this idea where you're like, your partner's the person you spend the most time with,

so you get them to take photos of you and stuff. Aaron is so bad. Oh, my God, the photos. Because he loves to Zoom. You know, like he just thinks. Oh, you know. You don't Zoom. You don't Zoom.

You can do that later. I can Zoom and post. Thank you. Zoom and post. You can do that later. He'll, like, I'll go, take a photo of me here, and he'll just zoom in so that it's just, like, blurry me with no surrounding, no angles.

You don't get good at taking them because then that's all you end up doing. Yeah, do you think he's purposely doing this? Yeah, absolutely. Probably. He'll always, he's a reluctant photographer. That's why I'm very bad on Instagram because I'll go, like, God, I haven't posted on Instagram for a while. Because you don't have any photos. And then I'll go, I don't have any photos.

Right. Unless I've put them, I've linked something up and put a timer. Or someone else. Because Aaron is just shocking at them. Oh yeah, you need to get yourself a little tripod there. Yeah. So are people still doing selfie sticks? Oh, dad. If not. Oh, dad. No. When did I have a selfie stick?

Oh, I did, I travelled Europe alone. Oh, okay. No. When did I have a selfie stick? Oh, I traveled Europe alone. Oh, okay. As a woman. And I, as a woman. As a woman? As if there was any question about how you traveled. Still a woman. Yeah.

And I took a selfie stick to, where was I? Like Paris and Pisa. That was the embarrassing one. Oh, yeah. Because you know how everyone does the picture of them trying to push it back up and I felt I was like I was that person

who was like I'm way too cool to do that photo so instead my picture of me and Pisa is just a selfie stick with the stick in the shot

was like I don't know half of the Leaning Tower of Pisa it's terrible but it's the only way when you travel alone as a brave, independent woman.

Yeah. Reconsidering her life at the tower. It's leaning. I'm leaning. Which way will it go? Yeah, okay. There's a lot to... A lot to unpack.

A lot to unpack, yeah. With a selfie stick. But anyway, put your phone down. Do they offer any kind of, like, fix for this? Leave them. Leave them? Yeah, get out. Find someone that's not as Instagrammy?

Nah. I don't know. Talk to them. Be like, look at this. Look at this beautiful meal we've got. Look at this beautiful vista. You don't need a photo of this. You don't need a photo.

Also, you're never going to look at them. How often do you take a photo? You know, like you see a nice sunset, you're like, oh, I've got to get a snap of that. Every time you're on the desert road, you get a snap of the bloody mountain looking gorgeous. But how often do you? Never will I review it.

Yeah, that's so true. The only photos I go back to look at are like recipes. Yeah. You know? All right. Top six is next on the show. And they're looking like some cutbacks. Yeah.

Well, that's what he promised when he said, elect me mayor and I'll get the budget sorted. We're going to cut out some fun. I've got the top six things along with Christmas that Wayne Brown wants to cancel. Yeah, they want to cancel the Christmas parade. They want to cancel the Christmas parade. This could be some good ideas for other councils around the country too. What about the marching girls? Where will they march?

Oh, do you normally do the Christmas parade? Not me. The young girls. Right. You're too good for a Christmas parade. Too busy. Too busy. Too busy.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Hello there. Cost-cutting measures in place for Auckland City Council include, from the mayor himself, Wayne Brown, who just seems hell- hell bent on making friends.

He really does. Just hell bent on it. Christmas parade on the chopping block. Wow. On the chopping block. Also... How much does a Christmas parade cost?

I thought it would have all been sponsored. Farmers. Yeah, are they still sponsoring? Decker. What does a Christmas parade cost? I thought it would have all been sponsored. Like everyone. Farmers. Yeah. Are they still sponsoring? Decker. Do you have to close and set airlines? Yeah. No, I don't think so.

Big Fresh. Big Fresh currently sponsoring. Currently sponsoring. They could use the animatronic little animal thing. I guess they have to, what, close off streets and put up some grandstands and I guess it probably costs a bit. Costs a bit. So, yeah, traffic management is expensive.

So Christmas parades, shorter library hours and local climate change action. Sorry, shorter library hours. Yeah. Because did I also read they might cut citizens' advice? No. From the library? Was that a thing?

Where am I going to find a justice of the peace? Exactly. Or an IA meeting. Do they have them there? They've always got the pamphlets, don't they? They've got all the pamphlets in their libraries, full of pamphlets. They're cutting money allocated towards local climate change action.

Didn't Auckland just get absolutely, wear the wrath of climate change? That wasn't climate change. What was it? We've had floods're the wrath of climate change. But that was last week. That wasn't climate change. What was it? We've had floods since the beginning of time, mate. Have you read the Bible?

True, that was a big one. What about the fact that they seem to be happening with more regularity and more ferociousness? Oh, coincidence. It's just that we're on the internet now, so news travels. Oh, right. So we're just hearing about it more often.

Yeah. Yes. Well, that makes sense. That makes sense. So I've got the top six other cost-saving measures Wayne Brown will take this year in Auckland. Number six. Sorry, kids. Tooth fairy money's straight to

the council now. Oh, are you kidding? So after the tooth fairy drops it off, the council fairy will swing in and nick it from under your pillow. So you won't even know it was there. It'll be there and gone before you know it. It's like GST. They give it to you and then you've got to give it to someone else. Yeah.

Then eventually it comes back to you. I don't know how GST works. I don't think anyone does. I don't think anyone does. Why are you giving it to me? Give it straight to them. Number five on the list of the top six money-saving measures Wayne Brown will take this year,

the Auckland War Memorial Museum will be sold to a billionaire to either use as a superhero headquarters or a supervillain lair. It would be good, actually. Yeah. I was there only a couple of weeks ago. Great lair.

Did you see the two T-Rexes? Did you? What are they called? Like Sally and Peter? They've got funny names. Jenny, maybe. Peter and Jenny. Peter and Jenny.

Peter and Sally or something. They're amazing. There's two of them. Yeah, I know. Wild. Because there was one. Yeah. And then there was two.

They added another. They added more. Amazing. Number four on the list. Dime a dozen, aren't they? T-Rexes. Yeah, get a bit sick of them. Keep tripping up.

We've been doing some excavation in the backyard. Keep tripping up over these bloody T-Rex bones. You're just taking them straight to the dump, aren't you? Straight in the skin. Keep tripping up over these bloody T-Rex bones. You're just taking them straight to the dump, aren't you? Straight in the skin, yeah. Beside the asbestos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like your dinosaur bones, you keep it wet like the asbestos.

You don't want to breathe in the dust. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six other money-saving measures Wayne Brown will take this year. Hey, do you kids like skate parks? Because they're mobility scooter parks now because old people will look after them better. Yeah, they would. They'll look after them better

and they like to do little zoomies over the rocks. I don't know if you can drop into a bowl on your wheelchair, though. You have to have confidence to do so. When you're late in life and you've got nothing to live for, just go in. Nothing to live for. And then when enough of them end up dead in the bottom, we'll just conquer it all over and make it a car park.

There you go. Good idea. With the T-Rex bones. Yes. Fill them in with some T-Rex bones as well. Number three on the list of the top six other cost-saving measures Wayne Brown will take this year. The Skytower will have no lights on it.

But don't come crying to me when it's got smashed helicopters all over it. I don't know if that's their domain, though, is it? The Auckland City Council. Yeah. The Skyt Tower lights. Yeah. Who pays that bill? Sky City.

Probably the pokies. Oh, yeah. I would have thought it would have been the pokies. So, me. Auckland Council, am I right? Auckland Council need to get some pokies. Yeah. You'd never be short of money if you had pokies.

No. I mean, arguably, you are taking money from people who don't have money to spare. Yeah, I think what the council called the pokies, bus lanes. Ah, yeah. Gotcha. And as Hayley knows, they're making a lot of money out of those. You put a lot of money in and you're not getting a lot of money out. House always wins.

Number two on the list of the top six other money-saving measures Wayne Brown will take this year. A Rambo's End will have to produce a pot of gold every day or risk losing their right to call themselves Rambo's End. Yeah. Okay, good. And the council get the pot of gold. Exactly, of course.

Brilliant. Of course. And number one on the list are the top six other money-saving measures Wayne Brown will take this year. This one's kind of genius. The SPCA will be teaming up with Kelly Talfins in the worst possible way. Let's just say you might want to hurry up and adopt those dogs. Oh, no.

Because they can't swim forever. Okay. Born Alan Snow. And that's a very hungry shark. Very. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM.

What do you mean there's a problem? I'm trying to get the boys to scan my lotto. And I have promised $10,000. The lotto? No, I can't log into my app. I'll check it old school. Did you scan them? No, no, it wouldn't work.

Yeah, there's a problem with the app. It just said, we're not working. Call us on this number. Who did Lotto New Zealand pay to make their app? Because it's rubbish, isn't it? It's rubbish. It's absolutely rubbish. That's not the best.

Saturday the 4th of February, is that the last one? Pass me your tickets. I don't think anyone won, Hayley. I think you've got to keep working here. Yeah, but I might have won a little coin. I think you've got to keep working here. Could be me. Yeah, I don't know if it's Hayley, though.

I don't think. Why? Have you just got a feeling in your gut? Why? No, didn't they say the region and it wasn't here? All of the bad news. Strike, so far, nothing. Second number, also nothing.

Can you just do it quietly while I share an article? Because I don't think Hayley wants everybody to know if she wins Lotto. Yeah, and then I have to really use my acting degree and be like, oh, well, better luck next time. Even though I've just won millions of dollars. Can we just go to a song actually? Anyway, there's always debate around how often you should wash your clothing.

Especially jeans. When I used to work in a clothing store, we got told so often by jean manufacturers like you've got to tell them to stop washing their jeans so often. Or buy a special jean wash. She shadow washes her jeans way too much. Does she? Way too much.

I say, you know, these don't need to be washed. She can get away with that because she's skinny. Yeah. Thank you. I know. Pass on that compliment. No, because that way she'll be like, what, like too skinny? You can't win. Don't talk about bodies.

They say I'm scrawny. I'm quite a strong woman. You're talking about my body at work, are you? If I wash my jeans, I know that I'm going to have to wear them uncomfortable for a couple of weeks. Booty pop. Because you've got to stretch them back out, right?

And get their booty pop. Jesus, a lot of tickets not looking good. It's brown. Yeah. A lot of lines where you've missed numbers. A lot of nothing. All you've got one number. This is great acting.

This is great acting. It's not acting. It's not acting. Oh my God, guys. Let's go out for brunch afterwards. So the debate started when a TikToker was like, do you remember when we were kids and we would wear our pyjamas for like a week?

Yeah. You know, like your pyjama bottoms and your pyjama tops. You'd wear them for ages. Whereas, I mean, for pyjamas bottoms, I'm like, that's just like undies. Because, you know, I don't wear undies for pyjama bottoms. Well, you don't wear for pyjamas, bottoms, I'm like, that's just like undies. Because I don't wear undies for pyjama bottoms. Well, you don't wear any pyjamas. When I was a kid, I wore pyjamas.

I always wore undies. Well, up until I had my kidney operation, I was wearing a... A nap-nap. A sort of a... Well, we didn't call them nappies. They were big girl. Big girl nappies. Big girl absorbable, white, padded, big thick undies with tape on the sides.

They were not nappies that I was wearing at the time. They were just little cute undies. But apparently you should be washing your pyjama pants a little bit more often. Okay, we're not doing that enough. Because we're crotching straight into them. Right. You know, you wouldn't reuse your undies. You've got to wash your PJ pants a little bit more.

Every day, like washing after every use should be underwear, socks, tights, leggings, like your pantyhose. Yeah. And active wear. Because you get two days out of your pantyhose, don't you? I do, yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't want to wash my pantyhose too often. They get a run in them.

Oh my God, the image. Because you've got such delicate ankles. You do. That's why I wear a full foot pantyhose. Oh, yeah. Oh, you simply must. Also applies to clothes of stains, sweat, odour or visible dirt.

Now, you've slopped your plum. I've already slopped a plum on my grey T-shirt, which I just got off the clothes rack this morning. Plums are stainy too. Yeah, I'm going to have to get straight on. I've already slopped a plum on my grey T-shirt, which I just got off the clothes rack this morning. Plums are stainy too. Yeah, I'm going to have to get straight on. I've got some Sard. Oh, get on straight on the Sard. God, I love a Sard.

I've got a Sard. Yeah, yeah. When you travel. Sard bar. A Sard bar? Yeah, you get a Sard bar. So it's like a soap bar, but it's Sard. Oh, gran.

No, and then you wash your gruts and your socks and stuff in the sink. No, and you hang your tea bags on the line so you can run out of them because we're in a goddamn war against Hitler. And you line your couch with plastic. And we've got to stop them. And we've got to put all of our spare money to the war effort and government bombs. That's right. When I travelled recently, I just had

Tide Pods, all those Purcell pods, and you just put them in a little container. And at the Airbnb You'd crack a wash Crack it into the sink Yes you don't need To take a whole bar You crack it into the sink

Oh the bar Cause then you get No Or you use a washing machine No I just use a washing machine Cause off the bar You get a bit of friction Nah

You get one of those Wooden boards And you go up and down Like this Yeah So basically Any part of our body That

Jumping down I almost finished Cleaning your clothes. You say things like that. I really don't know if that's a great impression, Vaughn. I reckon keep working on it. So clothes that are close to areas of your body that contain a lot of natural bacteria.

So would that include your T-shirts? It would be T-shirts. I'd do a double. Yeah, I'll do, if there's no stain, if there's no plungers in my T-shirt, I'll do a couple of days. Will you? there's no plunges on my T-shirt, I'll do a couple of days. Will you? Yeah.

No way, one day T-shirt. Well, Vaughn, I'd literally wear it to work at 5 a.m. and then go home and then get into my gym gear at like 10. Yeah. So you spend the rest of the day in your gym gear. What do you wear after the gym? What do you get into? No, I just get into some casual homewares. A different T-shirt for homewares.

Yeah, a different home. So they're saying you can re-wear your T-shirts, but only if you wear an undershirt. Ew, like a singlet. So I guess if you were wearing a shirt and you had a T underneath, you'd wash the T, but you might not have to wash the shirt. Or if you're wearing a singlet. Do men still wear singlets? I don't know either.

I don't know. Too hot. I have never seen a worse lotto ticket in my life. Oh my God! No! You got five numbers on the whole ticket. The entire ticket, you got five numbers. This is the worst $18 invested I've ever seen in my life.

Wow. Or another week of work for you. See you tomorrow, I guess. Valentine's Day, 14th of February. Do you celebrate, Vaughan? Do you do anything? Sade's birthday is the day after. So it's the old December baby situation.

Yeah, yeah. Fantastic. Me and Aaron have never. It's just sort of, there's so many of these birthdays and there's anniversaries and Valentine's Day. I don't know. I've never really celebrated except once. Oh my god. Do I want to? I mean

you're here now. No, I don't feel that you have to. When I was in high school my mum found a note and I had forged my mum's signature in a note saying please excuse Hayley from the afternoon she has an appointment. And it was dated the 14th of February

and I had forged her signature. I don't know how she found it. I must have like shown them and then had it in my pocket. My mum found it and was like, what was the appointment you had on Valentine's Day that I had nothing to do with? And I was like, my boyfriend. It was my boyfriend.

Anyway, that's the only celebration I've ever had. Wait, so you, what did you take it up to? Movies. Movies. So you went in the afternoon, like during school? Yeah. Wow. Just got on a bus to Kuroi.

Anyway, so this Valentine's Day, there's a new website launching, a new dating site. Okay. Do we still have dating sites? Or is this all app based now? Is Trade Me still doing? Trade Me Dating. Trade Me Dating. This one's called

Desperate.Dating. That's the website. And it's specifically for desperate people. You have to have been single for at least three years to get on the app. It's not really appealing though, is it?

The name. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine the photos on desperate.dating. When you're at that point where you're like, please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone.

Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone.

Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone.

Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone.

Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone.

Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone.

Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please anyone. Please let me do it for you. We're obsessed.

Let me do it for you. It'll be that kind of like desperate face. Please, please name me. And I'll do it for you. For you. So the creator of the site says the more desperate the better. The more desperate the better. The more desperate the better. Isn't that just like a giant red flag from the outset? He said that he hopes it will appeal to people

who are so fed up with being single and with the usual advice of like, play it coy in this kind of photo. Just being like honest and open about like, I am desperate. Right. Not here to play games of like, should I text him?

Yeah, babies after six months. Yeah. Marriage engaged after three. Oh my God, what does this message mean? Just like going on a text him? Yeah, babies after six months. Marriage engaged after three. What does this message mean? Just like going on a date and just being, I'm desperate. And I like this. And they've had thousands and thousands of people sign up already. So they're joining at a rate of 200 a week.

Based in the UK, but maybe here? Yeah, well, I mean, these things tend to go a bit global, don't they? You see, the more desperate you are, the better. And if you are, we can come to the rescue. So you have to kind of put in your key information. Right. Why you are desperate, what you're looking for,

and just go for it. Desperate.dating. Well, you've got seven days. Seven days till Valentine's Day. Well, Japan's sushi train industry is in turmoil. Oh, my God. In turmoil. It is a $5.7 billion US dollar industry a year.

It's so much fun. Big chains in Japan. If you've been to Japan, you would have been to us. I have. Yes, I have. I assumed the sushi train was a Western bastardisation. Could be. Like, it's like, look, here's a Japanese train. There's sushis on it.

Yeah, cute, cute, cute. Look how fun this is. How Japanese and the Japanese would be like, we don't do that here. We don't do trains. No, but they do. They do do trains. And you may remember like a couple of years ago, people in a similar vein to that, people are licking you know, remember when people were licking the lids of ice cream containers and putting them back?

Ariana Grande licked something once, remember? Yeah, and they posted videos on TikTok and social media and people were like, that's not funny. That's feral. Weren't they trying to arrest them, like identify them and be like, that's endangering people's safety? Well, similar things have been happening in Japan with videos on social media going viral.

Some of them with millions and millions of views. Things like a teenager opening the top of a communal soy sauce bottle and licking it. Licking teacup rims and putting them back on the shelf. Fingering sushi as it goes past on the sushi train, licking sushi as it goes past on the sushi train and then putting it back and posting the videos on social media. It caused stocks to go down 5%

on one of the big chain sushi. That's not fair. Yeah, I know. And it's caused this huge uproar in Japan because, you know, they're very hygienic. Yes. The Japanese. Very high standards of hygiene.

Absolutely. And so it goes against the culture as well. Oh, that's so feral. Is it tourists doing this? No. Locals? It seems like it's local, yeah. That surprises me.

This has tourists written all over it. No, so it's... You know what I mean? They caught one teenager who apologised and is now facing criminal and civil cases because it's causing people to say they're not going to go to these sushi trains anymore. Yeah.

And some places have even changed the way that they're serving food, like utensils. You have to go get them yourself and they might be sealed as opposed to just leaving them on the table because people were licking forks and chopsticks and putting them back. This kind of reminds me of the time

I took a bite out of the butter sculpture at Valentine's. Yeah, but nobody was using that butter sculpture where they were very dusty. That wasn't butter. It wasn't butter, right? That was margarine. I don, right? That was margarine. I don't even think it was margarine. I think it was much harder than marge.

Where are those artists now? What are they doing? The sculptors from Valentine's Butter. You still get the old ice sculpture around, don't you? But I don't know the butter sculptors. Oh, $100.00 ZM. If you are a retired butter. We've got a job for you. The impossible finding topic.

Are you a butter sculpturer? Sculptor? What do you say? Sculptor? You say a sculpturer. A sculptor. I just Googled sculpturer. Sculptors sculpt sculptures.

Sculptor. Sculptors. Sure. Sculptors sculpt sculptures. Sculptor New Zealand. Butter Sculptor New Zealand. Butter Sculptor New Zealand. Why don't you look it up on the yellow page? Have we got a yellow pages?

It'll be in there. A Butter Sculptor at Valentine's Restaurant back in 1997. Oh, okay. It's a video. It's been digitized. Of them sculpting. Oh, look. It's an oldie time news report.

Who's that guy? He looks familiar. Vaughn, you're describing a video on the radio. Yeah, I'm about to play the video. Terribly, you're doing a terrible job. I'm about to play the video, if you'll give me the audio. We've gone wayward. Why are we playing a video on the radio about butter sculpting?

Most people use margarine as a spread, but Tim Aspinall has found a new use for the substance. That's the name. He makes statues out of margarine and is at Valentine's restaurant in Invercargill this week sculpturing a new one. The sculpture, which is a pastry margarine applied to a steel frame, is a

half man, half snake complete with wings and a bow and arrow. If you had a bit into it, my God. Tim Aspinall taught himself to sculpt margarine 25 years ago and is the only full-time margarine sculptor in New Zealand. He makes margarine sculptures for the 15 Valentine's restaurants throughout New Zealand and

Australia. How would you courier a butter sculptor? No, he goes to them and does it. He goes to them. In situ. Who the hell is this? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that guy. That face. I thought it sounded like, what's his name from Prime?

Eric Young. Eric Young? No, it's not Eric Young. So we only had one butter sculptor. We had one full-time butter sculptor. And he taught himself 25 years ago. This guy would either be nearly retired or... Well, this was in 1997.

Wow. And if he'd been doing it for 25 years... So he would have been in his... Prior, 72, he started. 1972, he started. He'd either be very old 25 years prior, 1972 he started. He'd either be very old or RIP. Parked it. He'd be an old fella. And on his funeral, on his grave, they put all these margarine sculptures.

And sculpture takes 30 to 40 hours to complete. You missed how long it takes. 30 to 40 hours to complete. This one should be finished by Thursday. That's a week. It's a work week. All right, let's go on to the next video It's a week. It's a work week. Oh, it's gone to the next video. What was that?

It was a UFC fight. That's a weird algorithm. I don't UFC at all. It scares me. Play ZM's Fletchford and Haley. Today's silly little poll. Public proposal. This is of the marriage variety. Yes or no?

Wow. 10% of people said yes or no? Wow. 10% of people said yes. Yeah, no. Dude, overwhelmingly no. 90% of people, no. Like you always see the proposals online, you know, like someone will hire a cinema and it'll be a big ad or a flash mob or the Eiffel Tower.

That's a point. I'd love to know the percentage of people that were publicly proposed to her at a later stage renege on the yes. Yes, because they feel... Whenever you see someone say no to one of those big public proposals, I'm like, I would never.

I'd be like, oh my God, yes, and get in the car and be like, are you kidding me? What have you done? What have you done? Absolutely not. Take me to my mum's house. It's over.

I'm out of here. Lydia said, absolutely no way, because you'll be forced into saying yes. Yeah. A lot of pressure. Do you think that's why people do it? They're worried and they're like, well, if I do it in front of people. She'll have to say yes. She'll have to, yeah.

Hannah Marie says, being proposed to in public? Absolutely not. Watching someone else be proposed to in public? 100% yes. Okay. Love me some peer pressure. Kidding. That's irresponsible.

Yeah. I couldn't even watch it in public. I find it, I just find it so cringe. So cringe. Kayla says, it's a no from me because I'm not ugly crying

like Kim Kardashian in front of people and I'd think he was all S-H-I-T anyway. Yeah. Like he's joking maybe. She's with a joker. My proposal is very public, says Louise. Think popular surf beach plus riding in the sand.

It still gives me the ick and it happened 12 years ago. It gives you the ick. Oh dear. So does that sound to you like she went through with it? Well, long term? Still with the guy. I don't know. Oh, dear. So does that sound to you like she went through with it? What? Long term? Still with the guy? I don't know.

Also, because you could just imagine your fiancé or your now husband spending, what, two hours writing the letters in the sand? I know, and then, like, cocking it up, and then so you have to walk down the beach and try again. Well, you'd have to get a roller, wouldn't you? A roller. I'm just thinking the tide. Oh, then you've got to beat the tide. You've really got to do it

on the outgoing tide. Do the work. Go up quick. Get them at low tide. Get back down before it starts turning. Yeah, and she's like, oh, I just need to stop by the shops. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Quickly, the tide's coming in. We can't stop at the shops. Tash is absolutely cringe and gives no chance to the

proposee to be truly honest while under that sort of pressure. Yeah, good call. Melissa said ours was public like in the middle of some random street in Copenhagen. So people around but actually no one was like paying too much attention. Yeah, right. Wonder what Copenhagen. Might have been on an OE.

Great ice creams. Denmark and Denmark, maybe they were taken by the... Windmills. Hmm? And Denmark. Are there windmills in Denmark? No, I think you're thinking of Amsterdam. Amsterdam, sorry. Little Mermaid, traditionally.

Yeah, Little Mermaid. Beautiful city. It's a beautiful city. I thought she was in the ocean. Nah, she comes... She was in the Copenhagen Harbour, wasn't she? Yeah, she comes up for kebabs. Loves a kebab.

Comes ashore for a kebab. You know what? Beautiful. Yeah. And a fish taco, which is quite on the nose. Yeah, it is. For mates. She's half fish.

Yeah. Sarah says, absolutely cringy. I saw someone get proposed to at the Ed Sheeran concert in Wellington. Oh. Oh. I didn't see that. That's another thing thing because people are always like,

quite like, oh, when it happens at a Harry Styles concert when Harry's like, hold on, what we got going on there? I was scared.

And then get someone up and they propose to someone and everyone's like, oh, but that's public proposal to the nines. Hannah said,

I had one of these early in my life and look back now, so cringe. So that Hannah said, I had one of these earlier in my life and look back now, so cringe. Assuming that she's had one earlier in her life, it doesn't sound like

she went for it, does she? Yeah. So there you go, don't. Don't. I can just don't. Numbers wise,

don't. It's Beyonce, Cuff It, on on ZM She's today becoming the most Grammy winner, winner, winner, winner Cheese, you do well The most Grammy winner chicken dinner She's won the most Grammys Yeah, that makes sense Like of anyone ever We love Beyonce

For a solo artist Yeah They said Does that mean there's a band who's won more? Probably you two. Me and Hayley, we haven't won any. With sludge.

Not with jokes like that you won. What band has won the most Grammys? Stand by. Who? It's you two. Are you kidding me? What, me and Fletch? Are you kidding me? What, me and Fletch? Are you kidding me? Have they actually?

22. Yeah. Oh, my God. No, but she's won more than that because it isn't her to haul up to. 1,000. I think it's 1,000. 1,000. Yeah.

Wow. Good on her. Okay. You two. This story we're about to tell comes to us courtesy of the New Zealand Headdresses Facebook page. Okay. Why are you on that?

I'm not. I'm reading the story that the journalists wrote about the story that was posted on the Headdresses page. Do you think that all the stories on the New Zealand Headdresses pages are just like, oh, my God, this woman came in today, said she wanted to look like. Rachel from Friends. Rachel from Friends.

1994. And then she ended up like I accidentally cut off half her hair. She cried. Do you remember these stories like that?

Yeah. That and does anybody have any parts for a Toyota RAV4? Yes. Because hairdressers love a RAV4. The hairdressers

are a car of choice. Mind you, it's probably moved to the Suzuki Jimny now. And the Swift. I reckon they'd be big on the Suzuki's. Big on a Swift! Yeah, big on a Swift. Big on a Swift, the hairdressers.

So, somebody posted on there that they had experienced Creepy Christine. A call from Creepy Christine. Jodie Boland is a hairdresser in Canterbury. Yeah. And a few weeks ago, she got a call from somebody who asked to speak to the lady barber.

That's my first dot, dot, dot. Yeah. Lady barber. You're just a hairdresser, wouldn't you? The voice was described as kind of like

Agnes Brown from Mrs. Brown's Boys, but with an Australian accent. Okay. Right. And she said she was unsure of the caller's gender. Right. The caller says, hello, Dallin. And then she introduced herself

as Christine and said she had two lesbian daughters who had been very naughty that needed their heads shaved as punishment. The older daughter had shoulder length hair and would have to have a flat top, says Christine. A flat top? And then asks Jodie, how would you do that? So Jodie said, well, I'd use the number two clippers, and then the number one, and then zero to fade. Ooh, and then she gets giggly. Christine gets giggly.

And then says, I wish I could be there to hear her yell, no, mummy, no. Tease her a little bit, but be stern with her, says the caller. What? What is happening? I would have hung up by now. She's on the phone with her for a whole lot of time, like 15 minutes, she reckons.

Yeah. And then she's like, well, I'll book her in for Tuesday. Yeah. She takes down the number and books her in for an appointment, and then they didn't show up. She calls them, and it's an unallocated number. Right. So the number that she gave was a fake number.

Right. She told another hairdresser about it and she said, oh my God, you've had the call. It's totally somebody with a weird fetish. Then posts on the hairdressers of New Zealand Facebook page and it's not just in Christchurch. Steph, who's a hairdresser in Hamilton, she said, I get the call every few weeks.

What? About a couple of naughty lesbian daughters? Yeah. It's a male. They said it's definitely a male putting on a slightly feminine voice. Okay. It's always the same every time she's bringing in her naughty teenage daughters for like a flat top or a short hairdo

because they were naughty and needed to be taught a lesson. Oh, my God. Who is this man? Who started this? So other hairdressers are like, this has happened to me. Yeah. And it's been happening for a while. Yep.

Christine called another one and said they would like to book themselves and their mother in for a perm. They want to look like the queen and the queen mother. Right. Yeah. G'day, love. It sounds like a call a radio station would have done in the 2000s. Yeah.

It's not us. It's definitely not us. Well, that's so bizarre. Yeah. This article, they talked to a psychologist who specialises in dealing with people with sexual problems and sexual offending problems. And he said that they were concerning

and they met the criteria of abuse. And they seem to be trying to get material for a deviant fantasy. Oh. What? Yeah. A deviant fantasy? Wow. Do you think it might be somewhat sexual in nature? Yeah, A deviant fantasy. Wow. Is it sad?

Do you think it might be somewhat sexual in nature? Yeah, that's what the psychologist thinks. It's sexual in nature. Oh, no. Okay, well, if you're a hairdresser and you work in a hairdresser's or a salon. Yeah. You just hang up, right? No, I would engage.

I just play it out. Yeah. But they're obviously using, what, like a burner phone? Or withholding their number? Well, I'd say they're withholding their number or calling from a private number and then giving a fake number for you to call back. Oh my God. Should you book them in for an appointment?

How bizarre. And it's been happening for a while. Yeah. Wow, look out for creepy Christine. I would really want to know who this is now. Oh, they'll have name suppression if they get caught. Yeah, because they'll be high profile. Everybody's a high profile New Zealander when they're in court.

I saw this news story over the weekend. I was like, that happened when I worked at the petrol station in 1999 when petrol was $1 a litre and an old man threw a rag at me because petrol was $1 a litre. Now I had to go and pick up that rag because that rag was also his petrol cap. Oh, dear. And he had to stuff it back into his Cortina, his Mark 5 Cortina, white with a different coloured roof.

Isn't that also how – I've still got a visual – Are you trying to find this man? I've got the most vivid picture of this guy pointing at this big sign at the petrol station, the big sign that wasn't digital at the time. We had to go out and change the letters. Oh yeah, okay. It was one of the funnest jobs at the petrol station,

changing the price of petrol. Apart from when it was going up and people were like, you're so shitty. And then you got drafted into World War II, didn't you? Yes, I did. And we went out there and we did our goddamn best to stop those Nazis and their trains. Fought hard, fought hard.

But somebody's done it in New South Wales over the weekend. A New South Wales fisherman who can't be that much of a regular fisherman because he'd know the petrol goes in those little red tanks on the back. Unless you've got an inboard petrol tank, like an onboard petrol tank. Yeah. But then that's marked petrol. Yeah. onboard petrol tank. Yeah. But then that's marked petrol. Yeah. It's marked.

Right. He just popped the he just popped the petrol bowser into the fishing rod holder and clicked it on and walked away. And 230 litres

of petrol later $536. Is he not a cut off? Because how big does he have? It'll just keep going. It'll keep going. It'll keep going until it gets that air.

When it gets full and it pops a little bit of air back and the thing's like, oop, enough, stop. But if you've got big trucks or someone might be filling like a towable tank, there's no limit. It'll just keep going and going and going. So you put it in the fishing rod holder. So you put it in the fishing rod holder. So the back of his boat

was just full of petrol wow where did it go did it just like flow all over it pull the yeah pull it because boats sit

a little bit skew if on a trailer front up so it just flowed to the back instead of filling up and then well this

yeah this is what happened when we and they just they pulled the bung though we called someone because wouldn't you get the sucky people that come?

When people put petrol in diesel or diesel in petrol, they come in through the sucky sucky. That would be safer, surely. Yeah, I'm pretty sure these people came when we did it. But these guys just pulled the bung and the petrol was just pouring out onto the forecourt, which is crazy dangerous. I'd be catching it. That's liquid gold.

Yeah, that's liquid gold. Yeah. Or siphon it back Into your petrol tank Yeah Don't waste it At least a little bit I was so full of petrol But that happened

Yeah I've seen it happen in person And I've talked about it a lot I know yeah And this is the first one I've ever heard about Happening since Good stuff

Good And If it's not happening to you How much would that have cost him? It cost him I told you It cost him $536. And that's just the petrol.

I don't know if he was in for any trouble when he pulled the bung and the petrol just started going everywhere and I assume drained into the local street drains, which of course all drain to the ocean. Yeah, great stuff. I don't know if you got a fine for that. A fine for the fishes. Is that as well.

But we were wondering this morning if you've ever made a silly expensive mistake. Gosh. Well, people do it all the time with diesel and... Diesel and petrol in the wrong car. You could have a little sticker on your cap. Yeah, but it might be a friend's car or it might be a rental. Yeah.

You know, you don't read it. You're in a rush. You just don't autopilot. 91. Yeah. I don't know if anyone's ever driven the wrong way in those ones. You know, there's the spikes that you drive over the right way and nothing happens because you just drive in and pushes them down.

But when you drive over them the wrong way, they just literally carve out your tires. They're ruthless, those things. I feel like they're overseas more than they are here, though. They used to have one at the Domain Campground at the base of Mount Maunganui. Oh. Which I thought was very aggressive. Yeah, like how many people were going there?

Were nipping in the wrong way. Yeah. I don't know. Okay, so any kind of costly mistake, it doesn't need to be a survey. Oh, no, it doesn't need to be car related. Just one little mistake that cost a fortune. Maybe insurance covered it.

Maybe it didn't. Oh, God. I mean, it's always better when insurance covered it. The mistake would be not having insurance. Yeah. That's the expensive mistake. That's the costly mistake. All right.

We're talking your silly little mistakes that were very expensive. Yeah, like the guy that filled up his boat. With petrol. Yeah, it was in the fishing rod holder. Somebody said,

I just recently made a very expensive parking decision. Oh, really? I parked in the basement a couple of Fridays ago. Oh, dear, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What did they just say in the news this morning?

Sam just mentioned. 10,000 vehicles? They reckon 10,000 cars will be ridden off completely. Yeah, you could see them like underwater. That'd be terrible. I worry about all the things that are in my glove box. Like? There's all sorts.

I've got a fork. I've got a fork. I've got a moisturizer. I've got a set of chopsticks. I've got a pack of extra gum that I've had one stick out of and then remembered I don't like gum, but I've got the gum out so I can get cash out because they wouldn't give me cash out unless I purchased something. There's the car manual, of course.

That'll be ruined. How will you know how to adjust your timing belt? How would I know? Anna, what was your costly mistake? I got a friend who's accidentally run his chainsaw with that two-stroke oil on. Oh, no, bloody idiot. What happens when you do that?

Well, they run quite well for the first time, but then the next time when you go to start them, they won't start, and they've completely burnt out the engine on the chainsaw. Toasted the rings, mate. Toasted the rings is what we say. What do you need to put the special two-stroke juice in? Well, you need a pre-mix.

You've still got 91, but you need to add in the two-stroke oil. Oh, this sounds very confusing. At a 50 to 1 or at a 40 to 1 ratio. I'm a 40 to 1 guy. Sometimes it runs a bit smoky, but you're guaranteed a little bit more life out of you. This is why I've got an electric chainsaw. Vaughn cut down some trees

for me, actually, Anna, and he broke it as well, but because he was being silly. Yeah, that would be right. He'd be right, excuse me. Thank you, Anna. Ange, what was your costly mistake? Hey, guys. Hi. Oh, have we lost you? Oh, no.

Oh, what was that? She ponged. She ponged. She ponged and she's gone. She's ponged and she's gone. Let's go to Rog. Rog, good morning. Don't pong us, Rog. Hi, how are you doing?

Good. What was your costly mistake? First, I just need to let you know that I do have Baxter the truck dog sitting next to me. Oh, that bloody dog. G'day, Baxter. Baxter the truck dog sitting next to me. Oh, that bloody dog. G'day, Baxter. Baxter. Hey. The truck dog.

Okay. Roger, what kind of dog is Baxter? He's a truck dog. He's a truck dog. It's half dog, half truck, half poodle. He's a what? He's a beaker. A beaker.

He's very rare. He's a beaker. Beaker. Yeah, me doing for you. Long nose, gets down the chips. Is this Beaker, Bunsen Beaker dog? Okay. He's half Beagle, half English Cocker Spaniel. for you long nose gets down the chips i know i'm familiar with max of the truck that's why i had no further questions yeah but you didn't say you knew this truck dog. I don't want to start any arguments on a Tuesday morning.

Well, no, you certainly have. Too bloody late, Roger. Roger, what was your costly mistake? Well, okay, so I was working at a major meat processing plant, which I will not name. Okay, Teagle. And needed... Mints, the Mints factory.

Mints.com. I needed to turn a hose on and I turned this yellow tap, which happened to be the main gas feed to their cookers. And the minute I turned it off, Oh, no. And this alarm went off, and they automatically dumped $25,000 worth of product. $25,000?

$25,000 worth of stuff. Did you get a small slap on the wrist there, Rog? Well, as it so happens, my kid went to the same preschool as the CEO, and when he found out it was me, he told the engineer not to worry about it. Wait, the CEO was in preschool? God, that's advanced. He's meant for children. Who is running mince.com these days?

Seriously. Who the hell is running mince.com? I like to buy my meat uncooked, so I might cook it myself. What are these cookers doing? They're boiling the chickens. Rog, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Your costly mistakes. I married my first husband and it cost me $25,000 and it was the biggest mistake ever.

That's good. Let's all get it off our chest. A lot of these coming in. A lot of bitter people on Taco Tuesday. Yeah, I know. It is the most taco day of the week. Who wakes up on Taco Tuesday? Or Cheap Movie Tuesday.

Is there still a Cheap Movie Tuesday? Absolutely. Can you get a new release from United Video for $5 today versus the standard seven? Yeah, you can. Oh, Vaughn, I'm about to break your heart. Oh, please don't. Please don't.

Not today. Don't be so bitter on Tuesday. I forgot to call StudyLink to extend my holiday to have another six months interest-free and no payments. So when I came back, I had some fees and payments that needed to be paid all because they

missed an admin costly mistake it's all on you no insurance wrote my car off and wrote another car off and caused over $4,000 damage to a truck and trailer

now you're going to be paying that off at $10 a week for the rest of your life yeah I forgot to cancel my phone insurance on my old phone

which I sold so I was paying for two phones for about a year and a half I think it worked out that I paid an extra $1,500. Never gonna get that back. No. A couple of years ago on the launch, I filled up the diesel tank

with water because we were going out, we needed fresh water, so I popped open what I believe to be the water holding tank and filled the diesel tank up with water. Oh no. What would it do? It would do nothing. You'd need to drain it. You'd need to drain it. Suck it out. Badge it. Drain it. You'd need it drained. You'd need it drained. Yeah. Suck it out. Badge it.

Drain it. You'd need it drained. Yeah. Suck it out. Badge it. The drainy people that come, they charge you a fortune on the forecourt, but if you've got a launch, they see money. Yeah, yeah.

They're adjusting their prices. They're adjusting their prices. Play ZM's Fletch for the Daily. Play ZM. Well, I talked about it last week, week before. God, they're all merging into one. How many weeks have we been back for? This is week three.

This is our third week back. This is our third week back. I have so much fun with my two best friends. Time flies. Time flies when you're having fun with your best friends. At some stage, I have talked about how my daughters were making candles. You know, have you ever heard from a koi? Have you heard from a koi or are they shaking in their boots?

They are shaking in their boots and I've told them if they want to make a company offer, you know one of those ones where they buy them and shut them down just to eliminate competition? Yes. I told them that it's going to cost them a pretty penny. Yeah, okay, good. Yeah, good. I told them it's going to cost them a... Lucrative business in the work there. A damned fortune. So last night they opened up their Shopify.

Which is an online... Where was the countdown? Because I missed it. I said to Sade, I was like, are you going to do one of those like, the shop goes live in two and a half hours? And she said, it's too late. It's too late.

Because I want to do it at 7 o'clock. Right. So the girls have been spending weeks of school holidays making these candles. Yeah. And there were different flavours. Scents. Scents.

I tried to eat them. I tried to eat them. No, no, no. They don't taste like they smell. It's the old lip balm quandary. It's the lush conundrum where you go into lush and you're like. Lick a buffer. Yeah, they had four flavours.

Franja Pani. They made that because my mum loves Franja Pani. I love Franja Pani. Loves a lovely flower, the Franja Pani. I was just about to say, it's a bit of a boomer smell, isn't it? A little bit. And I love it. And she loves it.

Vanilla and caramel. Yum. Which smells like cookies are baking. Yum. What's the other one? Was there a sea salt? French pear. French pear and sea salt and vinegar.

What makes the pear French? No, sea salt and vinegar. Sea salt and lime. Sea salt and lime. Did they do a salt cream and chive? Salt cream and chive candle. It'd make you open a bag of chips though. It would.

It's dangerous. Anyway, it sold out in 14 minutes. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Did they only make four? No, they had made 40. I didn't even get a chance. And they're all gone.

And they all went in 14 minutes. What were the prices for these candles? $38. That's pretty good. For a full candle. That's pretty good. They could up that. Oh, they could up that.

$50. Go $50 next time. $50. $49.99. full candle. That's pretty good. They can up that. And then a bit of postage. Oh, they can up that. 50, 50. Go 50 next time. 50. $49.99. We're taking a piss now. Boutique. Oh, bespoke.

Bespoke. Artisan. Yeah. Small batch. Limited edition. Charitable. Limited edition. Charitable. Why?

Yeah, because they donate a dollar from every candle to the chain dogs. Yeah. Chain dogs. Do that. No, no, 50, 50. $49.99. Always makes it seem a little bit cheaper. You know, that's a psychological trick. If there's a 99,

like if you're selling something on Trade Me, you go 99. And people are like, oh my god, it's cheaper than a bit of marketing here. It's basically 40 bucks. I've got to get my pen out. I'm going to be taking notes. Yeah, so write the candles should end in.99. Countdown.

Countdown..99. Okay, countdown. I'm going to get confused later when I read countdown. I'm going to think I'm talking about the supermarket. Well, they could branch in the countdown. Instagram countdown. Somebody did message saying they've got a shop and they'd love to stock them. Oh, my God.

What does that mean? Well, it means that they'd, but then they'd put it. It's a stockist. They'll mark it up. But then you can have on your website, stockists. Stockists. Yes. Yeah, stockists. Yeah, coin save. Cue me.

What was the other tip? Countdown. Oh, the price. You've got to have the 0.99. But also hike the price. I also think French pear is common. Maybe go like, you know. Afghanistan pear.

Afghan pear. Ah. Yeah. Cinque Terre pear. Yeah, Italian pear... Afghanistan pear. Afghan pear. Oh. Yeah. Cinque Terre pear. Well, what does make that... Yeah, Italian pear. Italian pear. Italian pear.

Italian pear. Oh. It's like a French... It doesn't matter. They're all just pears. They're all just pears, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nashi pears.

Somali pear. Somali pear. Do they have pears in Somali? I don't know. Somali are. Somali are. Somali are pears? I don't know.

To our Somalian listeners, do you have pears in Somalia? Well, Somalia was a French colony. Oh, yeah, so they'd have... So French had a big stranglehold on Africa for a while. They'd have French pears, but they have Somali-grown French pears. Somali-grown French pears. Oh, yeah. And their back that came up, though.

Does anybody look into it? It's like pals. Are they really getting limes from Hawke's Bay? I would like to see their receipts. I want to see pals' receipts. You want to see somebody squeezing Hawke's Bay limes into their drinks? Yeah, I want to see a Hawke's Bay winemaker squeezing limes for pals. I want to see receipts from that.

I want to see if they claim they got a watermelon from somewhere. Didn't they? Jerusalem. I need to see some receipts. Pals, Jerusalem watermelon. No, because it's always somewhere in New Zealand. Oh, is it? It'll be like a whole pair of watermelons.

Potatua peaches. They even grow there. Exactly. Yeah, we don't even know. Yeah. Christchurch, because I'll tell you what, I've had a bit of an insight on Pals. Oh, yeah.

The next one is Rangiora carrots. Oh, and what's that going to mix with? Vodka. Carrot. Vodka and what's that going to mix with? Vodka. Carrot and soda water. Carrot, vodka, and soda water. Ginger. Ginger. You have to have ginger.

You have to have ginger with carrot. Wow. Otago ginger, Rangiora carrots, vodka and soda water. Are you sure you've got an insight there? Because that doesn't sound like it would sell. It's an orange can. Right, okay. Yeah.

The girls will lap it up What about Dargaville Kumara, pals? Yes Delicious Dargaville Kumara Yuzu and orange It's so thick It doesn't take too many Kumara to do an entire batch No, no, no, just a little bit

So thick Okay Well, well done to the girls Are we expecting another batch? Because I didn't even get the chance. Indy said, because I've been like, Indy's been quite interested in how like all the tax and stuff works. And I said, you know, if you spend money on your business, technically you don't pay tax

on that because that's now a cost against your business you claim it back so why don't I spend all the money I've made on more like another wax melter and another

da da da da and I was like we're expanding the business God like father like daughter eh? No because I'm too lazy you see I'm an ideas guy no avoiding paying tax avoiding paying tax

yeah that's it. Well, I come from a long line of farmers. It's kind of our thing. It's what you do. It is what you do. I've got absolutely shocking news. Please break it to us gently. Welcome, Mr. and Mr.

Smith. Thank you, because I believe I would be, if we were to be married, you would be my name. The dominant. I'd be dominant. I would take your really plain name that everyone has. Sorry, Fletcher. What is that? Some exotic

overseas thing? Fletcher's also very plain. You need to move away from the construction. And the home building. And the arrow making. Yes. Which back in the day did arrows before construction. It's what a Fletcher is. It was a person that made arrows.

The Fletchers are those things on the end of arrows. The little feathery things. That is very exotic. We just made lots of things. Goldsmith, blacksmith. The Sprouse. We worked this out recently, didn't we? You made car windows.

You did car window repairs. Yeah, we do. They repair and they replace. It's important to address the chip before it becomes a crack. Yeah, you can put stickers on it. No, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, I have terrible news. Blondes are a dying breed. We will no longer see.

That's okay. That's okay for me. I am not. He loves a brunette. Handle there on my blondes. He bloody loves a brunette. So just what the actual blonde head people are dying out or just people coloring their hair? They're calling the term recession brunettes.

So recession brunettes are people who can no longer afford to maintain blonde hair. Dying it brown because it's so much easier. And having been blonde before, and I'm not a natural blonde. I'm like a mousy brown-gray colour. Right. But being blonde is so expensive. So expensive. How much would it cost if you were to say today, go, I want to be all blonde?

How much would it cost you? If I had to dye my hair from this colour currently to blonde, it would cost up to 500 bucks. Because you've got to bleach and bleach and bleach, and each session is like $200. Oh, my God. And I'm out of touch as well, because my hairdresser's my friend, so I get a bit of a mate's rates.

Right. But deal. We've got three blondes actually in the producer's booth. Well, Carwen, you've let that go brown, haven't you? The roots are a bit bloody. This is the whole point. You don't dye your hair that easy. Yeah, she gets highlights and stuff.

Sorry. I thought you were just naturally that colour. Do you think half my hair just naturally doesn't grow the same colour? When I was a young man and I had hair, over summer, it would definitely lighten out. A lot towards the end. That's because you were putting lemon juice in it. I was putting sun in. This is what bleach looks like.

You're quite a naturally light haired person anyway. Mousy. Is mousy blonde offensive? No, she's mousy. I'm not offended. I'm mousy. Flannelette pyjamas, you're mousy. No, she's mousy. I'm not offensive. I'm mousy. Flannelette pyjamas, you're mousy. No, she's blonde. I'm rocking the natural.

I don't know what it is, but it is natural. Well, her mum had the hottest legs in Australia. So she's a hot blonde. And, Jared, something tells me that's not natural. Yeah, this is bottle. Yeah, this is bottle. Right. And that's from the Eminem range, isn't it?

That's from the Stan range. So, Cowan, how much would you be spending to maintain blonde highlights? Look, here in Auckland, I've spent, at most, over $400. Yeah. In one go? Yes. What? So, my new plan is that I... I hand them too much.

I've said for a long time we're paying these producers too much. No. Oh, paying these guys, yeah. No, so now I fly back to Hawke's Bay, see my mum, but also get my hair done for cheap. Yeah, right. But you are including the price of the flights? Yes, but if I'm already going to see my mum.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, right. But it's constantly because I've got more of a darker mousy than you. When I had blonde hair, two weeks later. Less of a mousy, more of a rat. Ratty brown. Ratty brown. Ratty brown. Ratty brown.

You're saying as well, Carween, you've noticed influencers or TikTokers, you've noticed this trend before we even mentioned it. Yeah, everyone is deciding to go brown. It's just easy. Because it doesn't cost as much. Yeah, and I think everyone's starting to think blonde's a little chuggy, which I don't believe. Well, it's blonde chuggy because I was considering going back.

What, just to rub your wealth in everybody's face? Oh, yeah. I'm doing well for myself. I can change it. So don't the TV people want you to be blonde? The TV people really want me to be blonde. TVNZ, TVNZ, love a blonde. They absolutely hated Brunette's brow.

Yeah, they do. What are they going to make of the redhead when she arrives? Who knows? They won't know how to handle that. It's an absolute firecracker. But even like, I think just in general, brown is an easier hair to maintain. You guys are going to love bald. You have never had a cheaper haircut.

I'm going to go recession bald. Razors are expensive to keep buying, like, you know, the Chiquitro. Yeah. But you'll get a few out of them. But you get a few shaves out of them and it's not as bad as going to the hairdresser. Yeah, I suppose. No, definitely. I'm heading there anyway.

Why not? I will be debuting tomorrow. My recession bald. Clay, Zed Ems, Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is the weather balloon, or the satellite balloon, shot down by the US. God, isn't this a big thing at the moment?

How good is that footage of the... The torpedo ripping through the sky and the person being like, oh my God, oh my God. And not the first time these Chinese weather balloons have drifted over the United States because the Republicans came out and said the president didn't act fast enough.

It wasn't good enough. And then they were like, well, actually, a couple flew over during Trump's presidency. Really? Yeah. So they're at 60,000 feet. Which is twice as high as a commercial.

Yeah. Jeepers. What can they get from the balloons that they couldn't get from a satellite? Yeah, I don't know. I would have thought a satellite, you would have been able to maintain a little bit more of a steadier. I think also you know when satellites are passing over. So you could have aircraft outside, for example. Surely there's just satellites going across all the time.

Well, yeah, that's what I thought too, but yeah. I think they should give you a heads up when they're doing your area for Google Maps. Same, because I want to look cute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you also want to be able to hide the pool from the council. Oh, my God, absolutely. Correct.

And give the yard a bit of a trim. Yeah, maybe a bit of a spruce. And I want them to do it in like spring. When it looks good. When everything looks lush and nice. spruce. And I want them to do it in like spring. When it looks good. When everything looks lush and nice. Yeah. I don't want them doing it in summer. Everything maybe, well, not this summer, but everything might have dried out.

Or in winter, you know, you don't have the lush, beautiful, bright green leaves on the trees. Clean your gutters too. Yeah, get up there. It's always a great reminder that you've got a huckery roof. Yeah. When you look at your house on satellite. Hide your tomato plants. Yeah, put a camo net over your tomato

plants. Yeah, absolutely. And finish your underground bunker. Yeah. You know, maybe chuck a tarp over that. Yeah. But today's fact of the day is that this isn't the first time the US has gone to war with a weather balloon. Oh, okay. The date was the 24th

of February. The year was 1942. Oh. The US was 1942. Oh. The US had not long entered World War II. Mm-hmm. And on the night of the 24th into the early hours of the 25th of February over Los Angeles, California, they went to war with what they thought was an incoming Japanese war balloon. Holy moly.

Yeah, they thought it was a really slow-moving Japanese aircraft. So they assumed at the time that it was like a Zeppelin or something coming in with a giant bomb attached to it. And they absolutely went ham on it. Anti-aircraft guns that were put down the West Coast to stop any Japanese fleets attacking the mainland of the US after Pearl Harbour. All lit up.

Spotlights in the sky. Air Force. She was all go. And it was a weather balloon that had broken its mooring and just exploded in. However, people died. Oh. Three people died in car accidents where they were just looking up

as it all went crazy and just slammed into other cars. And two people died of heart attacks. Directly related. Yeah, they were overwhelmed when the gun started firing and they thought they were being invaded. I always think this when I drive from my house, there's a strawberry picking field that's got a huge inflatable pool world in it at the moment.

Yes. And I always look at it with great detail. Now, have I not died yet? I'm still driving at the same speed as... And you're just looking at this giant inflatable wheel. Yeah, for like quite a good amount of time. Watch out for me. You're easily distracted.

If you see a giant inflatable world in a strawberry patch, just watch out for a Maserati Dina drifting across the centre line. 2015 leather seats. Right, yeah. Leather seats. You'll recognise it by the leather seats. Apple CarPlay. Apple CarPlay.

Apple CarPlay. Both speakers. You are out of touch. No spare tyre. You are out of touch. Do you still not have a spare tyre? No, I do not. Oh my God.

I'm literally walking you today to get your licence. Yeah, I'm going to get my licence, but I'm not getting a tyre. She likes to live dangerously. Why do I pay for my AA? Exactly. If they can't come and help me on the side of the road. When I've got no tire. So today's fact of the day is the weather balloon shot down, the

Chinese spy balloon shot down at the weekend by the US. It's not the first time the US have gone to war with a balloon. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. day. Yeah. It was the Grammys yesterday. I love the Grammys. The fashion's always better, more risky.

It's way more fun than like Hollywood actors. You know, it's just a lot of fun. Beyonce was late. Stuck in LA traffic. Who does she think she is, Beyonce? Yeah. Anyway, so obviously J-Lo was there. J-Lo got new music.

Oh, no. I don't know when the last time JLo released. JLo, new music. Oh. She's done some features, right? She's featured on... Oh, okay, right. No, she's got a whole lot of new music. Oh.

Is that what it's called? That's called This Is Me Now. Oh, yeah. Right. That's in 2023, but that is yet to be released. Oh, I can't believe that. Previous to that, 2014 was the last J-Lo album. A-K-A. Right.

But you know what I mean? There's always those artists that haven't released music for a long time. Like, at what point did they stop getting invited to the Grammys? Yes. You know? Like, when did? But then she's such a star. You couldn't not have her there.

She's J-Lo. I know. it's different. And she did look very happy to be there yesterday. Very happy to be there. However, her new husband, Ben Affleck, looked utterly bored out of his mind. There's so many memes, like he can't even pull on a smile. His suit is a suit, you know. Did his face look like it had a bit of work to it?

It looks different. It looks different. It looks different. Guys, guys, guys. Or is he using the same skincare as J-Lo? Because she hasn't of work too. It looks different. It looks different. It looks different. Guys, guys, guys. Or is he using the same skincare as J-Lo because she hasn't had work either?

Why do you say like that? No, I'm just saying that she, you know, she's come out and said she hasn't had any work and that most women

in their 50s look like that. Or is it just that he's not sad having a ciggy in his driveway and he's... Maybe he's eating well.

Maybe he's eating well. Maybe that's it. His face did look like a little weird. Why was everybody saying that he looked like he'd rather be at Dunkin' Donuts, though? Why did everyone... Because that was the popular... Can we check with the... Did the Gen Z's know?

Why... Gen Z, help. We're old. Help, Carween. I had to look up the origins of... Yeah, I don't know. Let me know it for you. I think that it's just because that's just like such a boring place to be.

You know, like he would rather be doing literally anything. Right. That's right. He did, yeah. Like it wasn't a one-off moment that was captured for a meme or on video. It was just he constantly looked bored. There is such a good video of everyone around. Like obviously an artist is performing, like clapping and dancing.

And he's just sort of like nodding his head like a dad at the disco. Anyway, bored out of his mind. So we thought maybe we could take some calls of when your partner has dragged you to the most boring thing. Like what is your, in Vaughan's case, any social event that's not specifically geared

for me and my friends. Yeah. Or me specifically. Me and the girls from high school, you know, my old friend group, you know, we're all going to get together and the boys are Yeah. Or me specifically. Yeah. Me and the girls from high school, you know, my old friend group, you know, we're all going to get together and the boys are going to come as well. No. It's going to be loud

because they like to go to like restaurants and stuff. I have a real trouble hearing people the minute there's a light murmur in the background. Yeah, right. How far are we going to have to drive? How long are we going to be there? I don't want to eat what's on the thing.

Yeah. Maybe you are a bit of a rock and roller, but your husband plays the oboe in his local non-professional social orchestra. Or maybe your partner is into a sport or a hobby. Do you ever drag Aaron along to your marching nationals? He doesn't go. He doesn't go because he'd be bored. I feel sorry for girls whose partners play well, guys or girls actually, come to think of it, who play cricket.

And they don't play cricket. Cricket goes all day. Even the short one goes all day. And there's some that take five all days. I know, yeah. Almost a week. I don't want that. No. I'd rather be with a rugby player. I mean, over

in 80 minutes. Yeah, but then like, they're probably sleeping with hot girls on tour. Yeah, granted, they are skelly wags. They are skelly wags. Far more skelly wag than cricketers, but I'll tell you why. No, cricketers have been at it all day. They're tired. They've been standing in the sun. You stand in the sun all day.

So maybe your partner plays a sport. We want to know from you this morning what you get dragged to with your partner. What is the most boring thing your partner drags you to? Maybe your partner's a scientist. Poor old scientist. But what are you getting invited to if you're a scientist? The presentation of their new theorem. Their doctorate.

You have to go along and watch them argue with a panel of other doctors. Oh, my God. Maybe with a professional debater. You have to go to debates. Yeah, you've got to go watch debates on a Friday. Ben Affleck is famously a fan of Dunkin' Donuts and is doing a Super Bowl commercial for them. Somebody messaged him.

Oh, okay. Of all the donuts. How did you not know that? Come on, Gen Z. Unbelievable, Gen Z. What are you doing? She's slipping into bloody millennial territory, that's why. All right.

Well, yesterday at the Grammys, Ben Affleck looking very bored. So bored. As Jennifer Lopez's plus one. He was just like, these aren't my people. No. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm super famous, but these aren't my people.

He's like old and grizzled and probably enjoys the quiet. Yeah, 100%. It wasn't his, it definitely wasn't his crowd. So we want to know what your partner drags you along to. Maybe something you don't like. Something that absolutely bores you to tears. Maybe it's a sport or a work thing. Kirsty, what does your partner drag you along to?

Well, it's actually me that drags my partner along to horse events with me. I do show jumping. Oh, show jumping. Oh, my God. You're there all day. So you're the boring one. Yeah, yeah, because, like, you're there for the whole weekend.

So it's like, you know, leave on Friday afternoon, get home late on Sunday night, and you ride for a total of about 10 minutes the whole weekend. Oh, my God. Couldn't you just go to that for the weekend and they can do their own thing? Yeah, but I have two horses, so he needs to hold them for me and help me out.

Oh, so he's getting involved. No, no. Stephen, you moved it and now it's, tail's not planted as tight as it should be. Is that a thing? Is that a horse thing? Stephen, you've scuffed my leather saddle and now I'm going to lose points for presentation.

Yeah, it's more the other way around. I'm the sort of messy one and he's the one that's like, actually, should we clean this up a bit? And I'm like, oh, okay. He's a horsey dad. But what is Stephen doing his downtime? He's a

sport watcher, so he watches cricket. So at least he doesn't play cricket. Oh, so he'll just watch it on his phone or something while you're in between. While you're horsing around. Literally. Amazing. Kirstie, thank you for your call. We're talking about the boring stuff your partner drags you along to. Ben Affleck had to go to the Grammys.

Poor Ben. Oh, my God. How dreary. Yeah, it looks like the sort of place where they stop serving canapes. Canapes. Canapes. Early in the piece, too. And he looks like a boy that loves his canapes.

But maybe he's on, like, some sort of health kick with J-Lo because she eats very well. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like she'd be the person that shoots a lot of green vegetable juices. Yeah, shots it straight into the anus, I think. Yeah, the green juice enema. Because then you go straight to the source. Yeah, get it in there.

Ask them text messages. And my husband works in the transport industry, so every work function is boring AF. Do you know who they're generally uninteresting? Truck drivers. Oh, that's not true. That's their thoughts, not mine. We've got a lot of truck drivers listening to the show.

Great people, great New Zealanders. Well, there's three truck drivers right here. Qualified. You'll remember. Yeah, we have driven the first trucks, haven't we? Yeah, class four, class five. My partner now refuses to go to Warriors games with me. That might be the losing part.

I don't know. Yeah. They don't go for that long. Not much happens. It's a bit of fun. Get yourself a corndog. Smotch it. A lion red.

Get me back with corndog. You'll always get Sproul back with a corndog. My husband took me to the construction awards and one of the categories was most effective ditch. That can't be right. Most effective ditch? What, like a side of the road ditch?

It must be like a proper canal sort of situation. Drainage. How long does it have to be? Because maybe we could dig a ditch at your place and enter the award for this ditch. How do they measure effectiveness? I think it's carting water away, isn't it? But does the ditch have to be quite sexy and straight?

Probably a sexy straight ditch. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, like nice corners. You know when they dig it out and it's like perfect. Yeah, yeah, and that's nice. We don? Probably a sexy straight ditch. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. Like nice corners. You know when they dig it out and it's like perfect. Yeah, yeah. And that's nice. We don't want a hucky ditch.

Somebody else says, I'm a scientist. After that first gathering of academics, my husband would rather stab himself in the eye before coming to anything, anything related to my work.

Even spiffy evenings with free drinks. Yeah. I tell you what, I once emceed a science awards night and it was just scientists there and dry crowd. Dry.

Dry crowd, yeah. Dry, dry crowd. Did they not get your fart jokes? Yeah, really. I came with my best fart gear. Yeah, it didn't work. A little low for their brow. It wasn't hitting.

For 13 years, I had to drag my husband to my daughter's two hour annual dance concert She's now in about eight dances And he sits on his phone, no interest at all I have to nudge him to make sure he at least watches her dance See that's the thing, I'm into my kids dance But they're very much about this like you've got to stay for everybody's But I don't give a rat's ass about these kids that aren't my kids

Imagine if your daughter was on stage dancing your little heart out and then you hear all the shuffling of people leaving. Well, no, they should say, the next dance is so-and-so, you've got two minutes to vacate if this isn't your child. Yeah, but then the lame, dud child is going to come out and no one's watching. Must be the worst part about parenting is pretending

that your kids are good at dancing and drawing and all of that. Yeah, I know. Thankfully, for my parents, I was actually good at it. Great at dancing and drawing. all of that. Yeah, I know. Thankfully, for my parents, I was actually good at dancing and drawing. Were you? Phew. I had to sit in a room with my hubby at his old horse stud farm while they sorted out what stallions they were going to use for each filly to mate with.

It took seven hours, and that was really boring. It could have been done without you there. Yeah. I can just shove them in a paddock all together and see what happens. Alice says fishing. It's the most boring and useless activity. It's not useless because it's, well, you could be getting fed. Yeah. Not guaranteed.

You could be getting fed. But not for her because she says it takes ages and it smells bad. Yeah. My other half thinks it's a romantic day out to go and watch him lawn bowl. Lawn bowls. See, I would join in on that. Lawn bowls. See, I would join in on that. Lawn bowls.

I'm surprised this elderly person knows how to text in the show. I don't think they're elderly. Oh, really? I think they've been dragged along well before their time. Right. So you cut them loose. They don't have to come. No, it's the price you pay.

We have to hang out. Yeah, you have to. You have to feel supported. Mmm. Mmm. I've got so much to do at home. I've got so many jobs that need me. Yeah, but Sade has to hang around and be around when you guys play D&D at home. Yeah, but I'm at home.

I'm not going anywhere. So technically she's in her zone. Yeah, but you're invading her home with nude. Yeah, you take over the house. She literally goes to the wardrobe to drink wine. She does. That's her favourite place to drink wine. It's the quietest spot in the house

Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners You've reached the end So I would assume if you've listened all this way through You're either asleep, in which case Wake up! Or you enjoyed it So drop us a review and tell your friends That's how podcasts work