ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 7th March 2022

Episode Date: March 6, 2022

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The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. Welcome to the podcast and a happy birthday. I received a message. Do you guys follow the Burger Appreciation Club?

Wow. No. I don't think that would be good for me. That looks good. Instagram account Harriet CEO Harriet Barnett Is having a birthday today Okay

I believe They're spread out a bit now But I believe The Burger Appreciation Club Was born in the UK And yeah Basically they just go around Looking for the best burgers

Yum I like that sort of research Yeah How does she feel about Brioche buns Huge I mean She's not a fucking idiot.

Huge fan. Yeah, she should be. It's a superior bun. Did I tell you about my fish and chip burger the other day? And it had mushy peas in it? Yes. Oh, you did, yes. And chips.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And battered fish. And tartare. As it comes as a wild ride. And mushy peas. Oh, my God. And it was brioche buns. Of course it was.

It was brioche buns. I'll throw the bread at them if they come back with anything other than the brioche bun. I mean, a soft steamed sesame. Yeah, but when it's a hard sesame and it's a bit meh. No, no. It's a real letdown, isn't it? You know when people try to put like a replacement and they do like a ciabatta or something, you're like, are you trying to break my mouth?

No, yeah, yeah, no. Maybe for an open steak sandwich because you don't have to eat the bread. It's not a compulsory part of an open steak sandwich. Open steak sandwich, you can use a knife and fork with a burger. It's got to be hands, and that's why your brioche is always going to be your classic. Side note, also behind the scenes, today we were talking about a lovely recipe, weren't we? The pulled pork mac and cheese. Yeah.

Which I've saved that recipe. I got targeted advertising on Instagram From NZ Pork It's a big pork Big pork Big pork Yeah, big pork And Big Pork was telling me about

Pulled pork mac and cheese So you make pulled pork As per usual And then you slop it in the bottom of your Mac and cheese dish Then you make your macaroni and your cheese And then you put it all in You give that a stir And then put it all in You put your usual cr cheese dish. Then you make your macaroni and your cheese, and then you put it all in. You give that a stir, and then put it all in.

You put your usual crumb on top. Holy shit. And then it just adds. Because, you know, some people put a lot of bacon-y bits in. It's never enough. Would you put bacon bits in with the mac and cheese? So it's bacon on bacon. Bacon on pork.

Pork on pork. Pork on pork. Two pork products. I don't want pork. Big pork would definitely tell you to put bacon on bacon. Big pork would say yes. But that would probably tell you that it's the's it's it's the healthier option this is no this chat is no good for me i literally said last night oh my god what a week of food i've just got

to clean myself up and now my smoothie's stuffed so i'm gonna go get a brioche and we're already talking about porky porky macaroni cheese and burgers that's not fair because i had diarrhea yesterday so i feel like i'm ready to eat again. Yes. You've made room. I've made room. I had a spring clean, if you will. Yeah. It was so bad, my wife's like, are you okay? Oh, dear.

She was in bed and I was using the onslaught. She's like, oh, my God, are you okay? Genuine concern. Not like usually. She's like, yuck. Close the door. That stinks. Whatever.

She was like, oh, my God. But I am okay. Thanks for everybody's concern I didn't think I had COVID Because some people say That that's the first sign of COVID Yeah The runny bum

You still got a burning ring? Nah I've got a ring of leather It's a leathery old ring I never get a burning ring Really? Never get a burning ring? Nah

I eat exceptionally hot food Most days of the week Okay I think we'll leave it there For the listeners No No Burning ring for me.

Haz ring is A-OK. Happy birthday, Harriet. Thank you, Hayley. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch. Thank you, Hayley. Oh, did I say Hayley? Well, thank you.

Oh, no. I'm not thanking you. I accept your thanks. Thank you, Rachel, for that professional, as always, news update. And thank you, Hayley, for being here. And thank you, Hayley, for being here after drinking how many bottles of wine last night? I don't know what happened. Well, it was because we were sorting out the garage.

Oh, yeah, yeah, a couple of work beers. Oh, my. I get that when I'm mowing the lawns and I can see, you know, I've only got a few to go. I'll crack open a beer and do the last couple beer in hand. Yeah, so we sort of started at lunch and then, I don't know, into dinner. And then I was preparing for the week and I was like, oof, I'm a bit tousled. And I went to sleep.

It's good. Well, we've managed to turn up to work another week free of COVID. According to our rat test, I don't know how. I thought yesterday when i was he had a rip a case of the squirts because that's that's one of the that's one of the squirty poos let me tell you about i but it might have been the mango chicken i had from the um curry place the night before right because i got it and it wasn't hot enough. So I sliced up my own chilli from the garden and put it in it. And it changed everything.

Yeah, that's what it was. Did it ever clean out? It really shows you how many times you wake up with a bit of a dry, scratchy throat. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Like most days. And we sleep with a fan on. And sometimes, you know, if the blanket comes off, I get a little bit chilly.

Yesterday I woke up and I was like, I'm going to take my rat test early because I've got it. And I didn't. And you celebrated with a few bottles of wine. And so I had a couple of bottles. I've actually booked in my COVID. You booked in your COVID? Yeah. This isn't your COVID vaccination or booster?

I did the week of the 28th. No, no, no. You're picking when you want COVID. Yeah, actually, I'll put it on my calendar. COVID week. Because you're too busy up till then. Well, I know it's going to happen happen but I've got a lot of social occasions right

you know I don't want it for Easter so yeah if I get it just before Easter I refuse like I'm not taking those

holidays the Easter days no right I don't know if that's how it works no you can't transfer no I'm transferring Easter that's why you should

book in with me the week of the 28th I mean if we're all going to do it, we might as well do it all the same way. Should we do it all the same way? Yeah, I'll book in. Week of the 28th. Yeah, sure.

Although, knowing friends that have had it, it's not a walk in the park. Oh, no, no, no. You don't want this. You don't want this. No, we don't. But I feel like if it's inevitable, I mean, if I can come out the other side

without having got it, that'd be great. But if I had to get it, week of the 28th, please. Right. Okay, you just book that in. It's in the calendar. We've got a big announcement at 7 o'clock.

We've got the return of something big. I'm fizzing. I know you're very excited about this. You know I love a promo. You do, you do. All right, well, I will give you all the details at 7. The top six is coming up. You're the only person left in radio that loves a promo Yeah the top six

Signs you're staying in a Hotel that was an MIQ hotel Lots of these hotels given that MIQ's changed Yeah Fully vaccinated Kiwis can now just Romp home So they're still keeping some MIQ's For the unvaccinated

Or the people that maybe live overseas Not Kiwi citizens Or that live overseas and maybe couldn't get one of the recommended vaccines. Right. Or don't have access to a vaccine. Okay. Do you reckon because the hotels will only be for unvaccinated, they'll just keep the real crap ones?

Yeah. You know, like they'll get rid of the fancy ones. Well, we're paying the taxpayers. Yeah. So, yeah, a lot of the hotels are going back into circulation, so you'll be able to book rooms in them. What are they going to do with all that seven-foot-tall temporary fencing? Well, yeah, probably...

They're going to surround every single hotel. I mean, I'll put my hand up for a couple of pieces. I think the beans would grow up them lovely in the garden. Yeah. Great bean-growing frame. As long as I don't have a white first, I don't want my beans getting COVID from the exercise yard. The top six dealing with this soon.

Next on the show, though, our study has found the most leftover food takeaways-wise. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, the most thrown away takeaway food has been found this comes from the UK chips Yeah they don't reheat well unless

Can you can you fry You can air fry them Have you done that though? Can you say if that's a good No I won't vouch for it I haven't done it but that's the only way

that makes sense You can't microwave a chippy No I hate soggy chips You've got to eat chips hot. ASAP. Somebody gave us the advice on how to do this. It's you put them

in a flat oven pan in the oven. Yeah. And it's like cooking oven chips except they've already been cooked so they don't take as long and if you give them like a light spritz

with some oil they'll crisp up again. There is a way of doing it. You don't ever reheat leftovers with that much effort. It's in the micro. It's got to be able to eat them cold. Yeah. Although once we did make like hash browns out of old fries.

I was going to say, could you do that? Like fry it up? Smash them up and make hash browns out of them. They were bloody good. 72% of people that were surveyed said they always had chips left over from a meal. And they blame the portion sizes being too large. Is that a problem here? That's not a problem for me.

Absolutely not a problem. Aaron gets a bit of chip anxiety if we get fish and chips, so he'll always order two scoops. I'm like, that's a scoop per person in our house. That's too many. It's better to have leftovers than finish all your chips and have to eat the little wee brown broken crackly ones. Yeah, There's too many. It's better to have leftovers than, you know, finish all your chips

and have to eat the little wee brown broken crackly ones. Best bits? Yeah, I hate the little chips. Oh, no, no, no. You don't like the crackly bits? No.

I pick through the chips. Get out of the way, potatoes. You don't want that soft, delicious doughy fried take. You want the hard little brown nuggets. I want the nuggies.

So, yeah, apparently this is research from the Sustainable Restaurant Association has found that 1.8 billion of takeaway food is thrown away every year in the UK. That's awesome. It's awesome we're doing that. It's a big number, right?

It'll be the same here. I'm pretty bad with leftovers. Unless it's something that gets so much better, like curry. Curry the next day is so good. It's something like, that gets so much better, like curry. Curry the next day is so good. It's so good, yeah. But sometimes if you get like a stir fry, predominantly vegetables,

it's not so good. Nah. You can't reheat bok choy again and again and again. No. There's no reheating bok choy. No, there's not. So they're saying that if households cut food waste, so all the food you throw out,

not just takeaways, by 30%, that would save families on average about 160 pounds a year. So that's like 300 bucks. At least. And that would be the equivalent of taking 2 million cars off the road. Wow. That's nuts, eh? Just for throwing out your chips or your rice.

I've been throwing out a lot of carrots recently. They go all manky too quick. They go wibbly wobbly. Because you buy a big bag? They look like a semi. A semi carrot. A semi. Give me the full carrot.

Yeah, the full hard carrot. Would you be full and hard if you'd been in someone's refrigerator for four weeks? You know what, Thickle? Probably not. You'd be a bit floppy and soft. Unless I'd been stored in an airtight container, I probably would go a bit flop.

Well, that's the thing. Should we be storing fridge carrots in a Sistema or something? I reckon it would make them last a little bit longer. Yeah. Yeah, I reckon. Well, maybe you should do that. I know. If you want some firmness.

I'm not coming to work with this, Amy. Well, they're hard to dip in your hummus, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. 13 past six, next on the show. There's been a decline. Oh, I was going to give it away again. See, that's the tease. It's the tease.

The decline in the number of Kiwis doing this interesting thing. Yeah, that's vague enough. That's good. She's good. She's learning. What on earth could the Kiwis be doing? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. The number of Kiwis sitting their driver's licence in a manual has plummeted since, in the last decade.

Is it because it's very hard to get a manual? Like you'd really have to go out's very hard to get a manual? Like you'd really have to go out of your way to buy a manual car now? Oh, they're silly. They're just silly. Well, my friend James has a manual. Why? The Suzuki Swift, the little blue Swift.

Well, when I bought my Jimny, they were like manual or automatic. And I was like, oh. What? Automatic. Yeah. And that I am. I don't know.

What does this little four-wheel drive people like a manual? Do they? Did you feel a little bit of judgment when you said auto? They were like, oh, yeah, like a go-kart. But when's the last time you drove an automatic? Because I'll borrow his car sometime. Sorry, a manual. Yeah.

I'll borrow his car. I love driving a manual. Oh, my Land Rover's a manual. It's weird, though, isn't it? I love driving a manual. When you haven't driven a manual for a long time. Love it. Oh, it's bizarre.

And then you find yourself on a hill doing a hill start. And you're like, what is this? It takes you back to doing your test. The worst part about manual is traffic. Like being stuck in stop start traffic. I don't know anyone that's stuck in regular heavy traffic could consider it. Your foot would be on the clutch the whole time. Aaron's car now, which he's only had for like a year and a half,

is his first auto. He's always driven manuals. Yeah. Because he used to work in like car mechanics. I was like car shops. He used to work as an auto electrician. So like he was like a car guy. And if you're a car guy, you've got to drive a manual.

You're not really driving. Yeah, that was him. Well, it's dropped. Not a lot of people sit their license. I couldn't believe this. 66,000 people sat their restricted test in the last year. Would that be because of COVID? In the last year?

I don't know. Because you'd think there would be more per year, right? Well, only 12,000 of those sat in a manual compared to a decade ago where it was 33,000 of them. Because there would be a lot. Because I remember, was it the same when you got your license that people would be like, oh, you've got to do it in a manual? When I got my license. Because then you can drive both.

Exactly. You had to do it in a manual to drive both. If you did it in an automatic, you were only supposed to drive automatics. Yes. But whereas now, do you think only supposed to drive automatics. Yes. But whereas now, do you think no one cares? I don't know. I set all of mine in auto because that rule was out by the time I did it. Because the Audis only came in auto someday.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I set it in a Lexus, actually. Right. Sorry. But I did learn how to drive manual from my granddad taught me like much later right in his like

old 90 something Mazda what was that like going from driving all the time in an auto to then learning a manual

that would be weird yeah it was really frustrating because I felt like I was back to basics and I loved driving and then I had to learn how to right

like bunny hop I still struggle I still struggle with getting out of first gear. It's hard. It's that perfect. It's the shift, the clutch accelerator. How good is learning to drive when you're like. Second gear.

Yeah. And mum and dad are like, there goes the gearbox. When you miss one, you're trying to get into two, but you go straight to four. And you're always learning on some jiggly, janky thing. Yeah. No, it's fun. It is fun.

Well, no one's doing it anymore. We're all just driving go-karts, really. Stop going. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Brinner is, what do you call it, where you take two words and you push them together We're all just driving go-karts, really. Stop, go. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Brynner is, what do you call it where you take two words and you push them together and they become a new word? New word. New wordentons.

No, that's not it. It does have a name. Two words are mashed to become one word. Two words become one. Spice Girls hit? No, that was two Compound No no no not what we're after

What is that word? Portmanteau I'm not going anywhere I've never heard portmanteau Portmanteau yeah Two words become one word Well Brunner is a portmanteau And it is dinner and breakfast.

It's because people like breakfast. They think breakfast foods taste better at dinner time. I feel so vindicated at this news because I love, and you know I love, a dinner omelette. Yes. But that's because of the Ryman. Sometimes the people can't. The Ryman where you live,

they can't be bothered cooking for all of you old people. When I have dinner at 5.30, 5pm. Well, you've got to be home for the news, don't you? When you make a dinner omelette though, do you go a little bit more all out? Like add an extra egg in there? Yeah, I do four egg omelettes. Far out. Yeah, that's lots.

That's the game though, isn't it? But you can do like anything in there. Lots of cheese, obviously. Yeah, lots of cheese. But you can put broccoli in there. Ham. Yeah, ham. lots, eh? That's the game, though, isn't it? But you can do, like, anything in there. Lots of cheese, obviously. Yeah. But you could put broccoli in there. Ham. Yeah, ham. Veggies.

Everything. So, eggs were the top of the list for the most popular breakfast. Even scrambled eggs on toast I'd do for dinner. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff. All the time. Followed by omelettes, then pancakes. Oh, no, not pancakes. That's absurd.

Pancakes are Too sweet for dinner That's like My parents Every time the girls Go there to stay Over school holidays One of the nights They have pancakes for dinner

What? It's become like this tradition You would never have been allowed In my life I don't even remember Having pancakes Now pikelets I remember having pikelets

Oh yeah they love pikelets Nana Yeah yeah Nana made a killer pie clot. Yeah. And I can remember having pie clots, but not for dinner. That was always like morning or afternoon tea. That's rude, though, because they would never have let you do that.

Absolutely not. Although you probably wouldn't have been a good idea. I would not have been able to stop myself. The metabolism. A little bit sluggish. Especially because by the time they made you pancakes, you would have already demolished a bag of farm-baked cookies. Obviously.

Very heavy on the carbohydrates post-3pm at the Smith house. And boys that love to eat. We were a crepe house. Oh, my God. I was about at private school, girl. Yeah, we didn't do pancakes. They were too dense. So we did a light crepe.

So what, less carbs? Light crepe with lemon and sugar. A light crepe. And a pikelet. Yeah, pikelets were always easy. Well, a pikelet was the same amount as a crepe, wasn't it? But it was just in a much smaller surface area. Yeah, yeah. Thicker. It was a big dollop.

Now I want dinner for breakfast. I want breakfast for dinner, I mean. I love baked beans on toast with a fried egg on top for dinner. Yum. A breakfast burrito for dinner is top stuff. Oh, yeah, breakfast burritos. Make yourself a little breakfast burrito for dinner.

That'll be right on the mark. But anyway, yeah, so if you're... I'm sorry, but not your cereals. Oh, no, no. There's further down. People are having cereals. Not unless you're like a student and that's all that's in the house and you don't have any money.

Yeah. You can have cereal for breakfast. And you have it with watered down milk because you've got to make that milk go to the distance. Oh, yuck. No, you can't have that for dinner. Yeah. No, I was not privy to this discussion before

that Jared enjoys a bit of talc. This is producer Jared. So this is when you hop out of the shower. You just have a little poof. A little poof only on special occasions. What would mark a special occasion? When I've gone to visit my parents because they can afford to buy talcum powder and I can't. Do you know I can remember getting talcum powder for our birthdays when we were kids?

Yeah. Great gift. What? Yeah, yeah. It was like you'd get a G.I. Joe shampoo or something and you'd pop the head off the G.I. Joe and the body was the bottle. Right. And you'd also get like a talcum powder,

but I don't know if G.I. Joe did talcum powder. I can remember getting a Muppets baby talcum powder. Right. Well, I can only imagine that, Jared, you've been rung out about this before because you shared a video to try to vindicate your feelings on talc. It is comedian Rob Beckett.

He's on the Jonathan Ross show and he is talking about talc. Basically, I've been getting back into talcum powder. What does that mean? You don't use baby powder, talc. You like using it on yourself? Yeah, do you talc? I do talc a bit.

He's good at it. What? You talc? Do you know? Is that a thing? Yeah, I go through phases of it. What? You guys, what the hell is this?

And that's Jamie Dornan. I go through phases of it. Go through phases of it. He goes through phases of it. So is it maybe same as you, Jared? Yeah, I also go through phases of it. Go through phases of it. So is it maybe same as you, Jared? Yeah, I also go through phases of it. You go through phases of it. So why do you baby, what's the difference between baby powder and talcum powder?

It's the same thing or a different name. Same thing, baby powder has talc in it. Does it? Yeah. Right. Right. So isn't talc Now... Does it? Yeah. Right. Right. So isn't talc really bad for you? Yeah.

Well, I googled Johnson & Johnson paid $4.7 billion in damages after it was said that it caused ovarian cancer. Wow. In some women. And the state of Missouri, a jury awarded compensation. So the ladies are talquing as well. Why would, what? Yeah, my nan, I remember when you'd stay at your grandparents.

Yeah. It's a stocked case. And they'd rock your talc, they'd just be like, you'd just be like, ha, coat it in talcum powder, and then you'd be in your nice warm jammies, and they'd slip, slide around like nobody's business, and then into bed. See, but I feel like it's the opposite.

Now I want to be moist. Oh. Moisturise it. I like a thick moisturiser. I want to feel it all day. Why do you do it? Is it because of chafing? No, maybe.

I don't know. It just feels nice. You want to feel smooth. What feels smooth? Your bits. Just all my downstairs bits. They're not like dry. They're not sticking or anything.

God, how sweaty is your gooch? It's not that sweaty. That's what I was thinking. Like, if you get a sweaty situation down there, does the talc congeal into somewhat of a paste? Yeah. I've never found that. You know when you chuck in a snitchel into the egg?

What did you say that was for? A snitchel. Yes. A snitchel. You're putting those snitchels. You're doubling down on the schnitzel. You know when you put your schnitty into the egg and then you put it in the flour?

Yes. Then you go flour, then egg. You go flour, egg, breadcrumbs. Oh, well, whatever. It's when you initially put a slightly moist piece of schnitzel in the flour. That's it. A paste.

A batter. Almost a batter situation. Right, yeah. Not until you fry it again. But that's what I'm imagining the gooch and stuff like. I haven't. Almost a batter situation. Right, yeah. Not until you fry it again. But that's what I'm imagining the gooch and stuff like. I haven't got like a tempura gooch or anything. It feels like a tempura dip.

You're not deep frying yourself so it must just be all batter-y down there. Nasty. Is it batter-y down there? It's not. I promise. It's not batter-y. Stop being a battered scrote, is it? That's what it feels like to me.

I don't know where the talc goes. It just disappears throughout the day. Well, celebrities are talcing their bits. Yeah, it's good. But only on special occasions. Josh just sent me this. He's like, did you have this in the 90s? Did you have crossbones talc?

Does that ring any bells to you? No. I just had this. Crossbones talc. It says real gunpowder because it was pirate themed. It wasn't. It wasn't gunpowder says real gunpowder because it was pirate themed. It wasn't. It wasn't gunpowder. It wasn't.

Real gunpowder for real bad boys. I remember we got crossbones. Crossbones talc. And you'd talc. Did you? Yeah, you'd talc. How weird. Why are they trying to make talc?

Pirates wouldn't have talced. No. Stop trying to criminalise, make it seem a whole lot of a bad boy thing to talc yourself to dry your jennies before you're off to bed. Do you do one at the back? Do you give a puff at the back? Yeah, you do a puff at the front and a puff at the back. But you don't...

Where does it go? Like on the floor? Nobody knows. Yeah, if it goes on the floor and you're on the carpet, you just kind of walk over it. I'm getting some talc. I'm getting some talc on the way home. Don't get talc.

Get a special, it's the new talc. The talc that doesn't have talc. Well, I just saw that Lush... What the hell is talc on the way home. Don't get talc. Get a special. It's the new talc. The talc that doesn't have talc. Well, I just saw that Lush. What the hell is talc? Lush does like a, you know, earthy talc. Oh, I can't walk into that. They call it silky underwear. I can't do that, Stuart.

It's too much smell. It's a lot. I can't deal with it. It's coming from everywhere. It's a headache in a jar. Talc is a, or talcum, is a clay mineral composed of hydrated magnesium silicate. Okay. With a chemical-

Is it asbestos? Could you use- Yeah, it sounds a little asbestos. Everything sounds a little asbestos-y when you break it down scientifically. Could you use corn flour? You can. So talc is in powdered form, often combined with corn starch, as used as a baby powder. So you are basically battering your bits.

Yeah, but I was battering with basically asbestos. Now I'm pivoting to cornstarch. Primarily. Do you squeak when you walk after a cornstarch? I haven't tried the cornstarch yet. Your cheeks will be all squeaky. Hey! From the yummy ZM Think Tank, this is the Top Six.

Hey there. Well, with the MIQ... What do you call it? Scheme. The MIQ plan changing. The MIQ... Yeah, that's good. The plan changing.

Yeah, the facility's been downsized. Kiwis fully vaccinated can just pop on home now. No quarantine required. That means MIQ facilities aren't, we don't need as many as we've had. That'd be good if you came into Auckland for the weekend for something. There'll be more hotels. Yeah. Bit of competition.

Yeah. Maybe a good price to be had. Yeah. In these times of everything costing a little bit more. But that does mean you might be staying in a place that's an ex-MIQ hotel. They will be thoroughly deep cleaned, etc.

The hotels didn't get a choice, did they? No, I think they did. But then, if the government was like, hey, so tourists, it's not happening. But we can pay you to house New Zealanders for two weeks. And you'll be paid for.

You would have been like, mm-hmm. Yes, please. Yeah. Yes, please. So the top six signs you're in an ex-MIQ hotel. Number six, the towels are all brand new. Or at least they should be. Yeah.

You're wiping yourself and it's not really drying you. It's more just moving the moisture around your body. What you've got there is a brand new towel. Yes. And you're going to be, for the first time in your life, stoked that you're not really dry. You've just moistened and moved the moisture around. Our number five on the list of the top six signs you're in an ex-MIQ hotel. All the doors have claw marks on them.

Aww. Because people like cats. When they're locked in a room,, will just sit clawing at the door and meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. And the army would come on and be like, stop it! Hey! Spritz water at them. Although one of my friends

that's been locked up has just recently had COVID, said MIQ was way better than just being stuck at home. Really? Because you can't leave when you've got COVID. You can't leave your house. No. Yeah. Okay.

But MIQ, you could what? And they bring you dinners. Yeah. You go on walks. They're bringing you the food. Number four on the list of the top six signs you're at an ex-MIQ hotel. When you try to check out after a three or four day stay, they panic for a bit.

Oh, no, you can't let... Sorry, sorry. It's not a two week minimum stay anymore. No, no, no, no. You're good, you're good. Number three on the list of the top six signs you're in an ex-MIQ hotel.

There's a massive fence around the outside bit that they've forgotten about. Yeah. Yeah, it's a big fence. You can climb that though. Some people did, didn't they? They did.

The time of MIQ, they're up and over that's a big fence. You can climb that, though. Some people did, didn't they? They did. They broke free. The time of MIQ, they're up and over that little chain link fence. You want to make sure it's well secured at the bottom, because if you get to the top and it starts going one way, and you're one leg either side, you're going down. You're going down. Number two on the list of the top six signs you're in MIQ Hotel. Everyone that works here is still in full PPE,

mostly out of habit, but also, you know, just best be safe. Yeah. Best be safe. And number one on the list of the top six signs you're in an ex-MIQ hotel. The hotel you're at is called Pet Jar Hotel, and it looks like the J and the P have been pried off and switched around. Pet Jar.

I believe it's pronounced Peja. Peja. Peja Peja The new Auckland Airport Hotel Peja Yeah Jet Park are definitely Renaming it

It's a full rebrand And the government I reckon on the government too Oh 100% 100% It'd be the least they could do At the very least That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Let the following sink in. Someone listening to this message will not have the same life next month because they'll have $100,000 tax-free dollars. ZM's $100,000 tax-free dollars. That is $100,000 secret sounds. And the National Party tax-free policy.

Well, this is it. This is our big announcement. Soundkeeper Els joins us in studio. She's back. Good morning. I'm here. Round three. You've even got your notebook.

I know. I thought this time maybe I'll have a bit more clearer idea if I have the things I need to say in front of me. I'm so excited for this. I know, because you're quite new to radio, Hayley, so these kind of competitions, they still make you jazz. They get me so jazzed. There's nothing I love more than giving away money that's not mine.

And a lot of it. Tax free as well. We're jaded veterans born of Secret Sound. Nothing gets me going anymore. Even giving away $100,000, would that give you jazz? Might give me a little jazz. Any goose bumps? Any gooses? I've got gooses.

You've got gooses? Yeah. I've got a grin the size of Africa. If someone cries when they win, I might give my heart rate, might go up a little bit, you know? All right, well, Secret Sound returns $100,000 up for grabs. And again, all thanks to Neon. Our friends at Neon back on board.

You can sign up now for your 14-day free trial at neontv.co.nz. T's in C supply. Love Neon. So many great shows on there. I know. Including Raised by Refugees, which I just watched, by our very own friend Pax Asade.

That's on there. I'll give it a watch. What's the sound? What's the sound? I'm not going to say that. That's the whole point. Text me. Text me what's the sound.

When does it start? When are we starting? Next week. Okay, so Monday. Monday next week. Monday. We'll give you the very first listen to The Secret Sound. We'll do that at 7.

And then again, like we have done with Secret Sound, chances to get through 7 o'clock, 8 o'clock, 11, 1, 4 and 5. Every day until it's 1. Yeah, you need to give me tips on how to wake up early. Because that... Coffee? Nah. Hayley has a lot of alcohol before bed.

Yeah, I like to get nice and booze the night before. That's not a good idea. Knocks you right out and then you wake up in the morning and you're just feeling like rubbish. I'm not trying that. Alright.

I sit on the toilet for 10 minutes. Just to wake up. I lean my head on the counter so much that there's a dent. That's what I do.

Okay. And then you're ready to go. And then I'm rearing. Alright, well, Monday morning it all starts at ZM's $100,000 secret sound. Thanks to Neil on returns.

Soundkeeper Al's a big week to get ready. Money, money, money. Yeah, I do have to get ready. Alright. Exciting stuff. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, a young woman is taken to the tock to reveal a very embarrassing

situation. So she went to reveal a very embarrassing situation. So she went to get a tattoo which you know is a big moment in life. It's going to be with you to the day you part this mortal coil. That's why I like to pick mine

out of the folder they have at the tattoo parlor. Yeah you just go and flip through. Randomly. Flip, flip, flip, flip. Stop. And win drunk

on a Friday night. Yeah. Absolutely. Well this she wanted to get something really sentimental, something to remind her of strength. What? Strength. Why are you saying it like that?

Strength. Why are you saying it like that? Strength. Strength. Strength. Strength. Why are you not giving it the G? Strength.

Yeah. No. Strength. How strong is your strength? There it is. Strength. Yeah. Strength. No. No. Strength. How strong is your strength? There it is. There it is. Also, that was a terrible sentence. I couldn't think of something.

What a great way to test your strength. You're like, how strong is your strength? The reason I'm saying strength like that. Oh, you're kidding me. So she wanted a few butterflies and then the saying with pain comes strength. Yeah. First of all, what's that got to do with butterflies? And not always. Butterfly, it must hurt in the cocoon.

When you're a caterpillar and you're like, right, it's time to turn myself into goo. And somehow wings are going to come out. It must be like a, imagine that. Imagine if caterpillars, if you listen closely, maybe it's in a frequency where we can hear. Every time a monarch. We get excited because it's like, oh, it's attached at the end.

He's going to start doing his thing. But they're like. Ah! Oh, my God attached at the end. He's going to start doing his thing. But they're like, ah! Ah! Oh, my God. I regret this. And even unfolding the wings. Ah! Crack, crack, crack.

That's it. That's where the saying comes from. With pain comes strength. Every time I see it, I want everyone to do this. Every time you see a caterpillar in a cocoon, imagine it's just a muffled scream. Well, she got with pain comes strength. Spell wrong.

S-T-R-E-N-T-H. Yeah. And there is no space in there to put the missed G. It's in this like cursive, right? There's nothing. Right. So she has to get it fully removed if she wants to get the whole thing done again. Which apparently

I'm absolutely not an expert in the area, but friends that have had it done have said it hurts. I have a friend getting it done. She had a little, you know, something behind her ear. Swastika. I don't know. You put it behind your ear and you started doing like lines. My immediate thing was, she's drawing a swastika.

No, it's a flower. I don't have friends with swastika tattoos. Anyway, she said the pain of getting it removed is excruciating. Is it the same kind of laser as hair removal? No. It's different. It's slightly different. Deeper?

I don't know, but you see it and the skin like bubbles underneath. That doesn't happen when you get laser hair removal. No. So, yeah, with pain comes strength. Strength. Strength. Strength. So, yeah, with pain comes strength. Strength. Strength. Strength. Oh, no.

And we just want to ask you, what is your regrettable tattoo? Maybe it had a mistake in it. No, it wasn't. What's your regrettable tattoo? What's your regrettable tattoo? Maybe you've got a mistake in it. Maybe it's like. Well, a lot of people get the X's or the ex-wife or partner.

Get the name. I'll get a name. No. No. Me and Aaron thought about getting one in Thailand, but it was going to be, I know, getting a little. But something that means something to us. Hello, it's me, hepatitis.

I remember being in Thailand and seeing like the worst tattoos the next morning. Everybody gets tattoos. I had a phone party afterwards at like 2 o worst tattoos the next morning. Everybody gets tattoos. For my own party afterwards at like 2 o'clock in the morning, a guy getting a sheep tattoo and the sheep's got a speech bubble that says moo and I'm just looking at him and he's like, get it? I'm like, I don't know, man.

I get that you're a bit of a dick. I don't know, man. Maybe you went to go get like, you know, you see those people that get like a portrait of someone they love and they just look absolutely munted. Oh, yeah. Or like people get their favourite celebrity and it's like. Well, a woman took to TikTok to share her embarrassing botched tattoo that misspelt the word strength.

Stent. Oh, my God. No, it's worse than I even thought. Oh, my God. So he's missed the G and he spelled it Stent. Oh my god, no, it's worse than I even thought. Oh my god, so he's missed the G and he spelled it stent. I've just looked again. Through pain comes stent. I mean, I'm not a tattooist, but

and I'm not the greatest at spelling, but I would always do a spell check. Always do a stencil. What do you call it? Tracer. Yeah, I've Googled. Always do a stencil. You always do a, what do you call it? You know, when they put the trace. Yeah, they put you up against a light. And you look at it and you go, yes, before they put the ink in.

Yeah, but then if the tattooist and the person are not great spellers and they're like, yep, yep. If they're not, it is with pain comes strength. That's terrible. Jessica joins us. Jessica, what was the regrettable tattoo? Morning, guys. Morning.

I suppose at the time that wasn't regrettable, but 16-year-old me thought it was a fabulous idea to get two dolphins in a circular formation on my belly button. Just next to my belly button on my abdomen. Oh, no. I couldn't do that because, yeah, I'm a yo-yo-er. They'd go from dolphins to whales. No, exactly. So I'm 39 now, and in that time I've had a baby,

and at that point they did resemble whales. Yeah. So have you ever considered having them removed? I have considered it, but I've heard that the pain is horrendous. Oh, yeah, especially on the belly. Yeah. That would be horrible. I'm just thinking about even just laser hair removal there would be horrible.

Even if it was a better design, no offence. Do you think a belly tattoo is a wonderful idea? In hindsight, not so much. But if there are any 16-year-olds out there, just do it. What are you doing? They're not your 16-year-olds. You can't say that. How many people would have one of those, you know,

those flaming suns around their belly button? You know those? You're talking late 90s suns? Late 90s. Late 90s suns? Yes. Late 90s. Late 90s suns. Yeah. It's like a real Cisco vibe.

Yeah. It was. That's not the only one. Someone messaged in, Jessica, that they had a dragon around the belly. Classic. Like, it's a classic. It's a classic. Around the belly button.

I don't know if they were clawing at the belly button, if this was some sort of umbilical dragon. I bet that aged real nice. I bet fantastically, too. Jessica, thank you so much for sharing this morning. Logan, what's your regrettable tattoo? Hey, Tim. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. I was due to marry this girl back in the States, and I thought it was a romantic one and bought her a star and got some coordinates, and we both bought a romantic one and bought her a star and got some coordinates and we both bought, you know, and tested our coordinates to the star on our shoulders.

And you'll guess it, we're still not together. So you have the, like, GPS coordinates? No, none of the spaces. Oh, yeah, the GPS coordinates and everything. And I'm actually due to get married now next March. And, yeah, I feel like it's just good to have to remove that so that I'm not carrying my ex with me.

No. Are you going to get some more coordinates of the place you get married? Yeah, hang in there long enough that Star will sort of implode. You could have a supernova on your hands. Good. True. Exactly that.

Logan, thanks for sharing. Some more messages in. Olympic rings. I got the Olympic rings before I sharing. Some more messages in. Olympic rings. I got the Olympic rings before I even qualified to represent New Zealand at the Olympics, but I thought I was a sure thing. No. And they didn't go. I never got close to qualifying again, and I don't want to talk about it.

I always see people at the pool with the Iron Man tattoo on their calf. I think it's when you've done one, you get one. It's just like that. It looks like the Nutri-Grain logo. Or was it that it was on the Nutri-Grain box maybe? It's like the Red Man logo. And you see lots of those. But what's stopping you not doing...

Oh yeah, this guy. It's like an I, M. So it's an M, but then that's the I, but it looks like a broad-shouldered individual. Loads of people get those on their calf or their shoulder. I mean, you did an Ironman. You probably want to talk about it. But then what's stopping me getting one?

Nothing. You've just got to know. You've got to have some stories about when you hit the wall, how you imagined your children at the finish line. How you trained. I need to know how many Ks each thing is too. Oh, it's horrendous. Because it's a marathon, right?

100 and something on the bike? Yeah. And a forever swim. I'm sure it's not that much of a swim. No, no, you've got to swim to Australia and back. Yeah, it's not that far. I think you've got to tow the inter-islander. The swim would be the easiest thing for me.

So 3.8 kilometre swim. Jesus. So a 3.8 kilometre swim Jesus And a 180 kilometre cycle ride And a 42.2 kilometre run How many pays on the bike? 180 There's too many And this swims in the ocean

You could do a half That's what I don't like That's 3.8 kilometres of sharks Sometimes it's a lake I could do a lake Oh no weeds Did you say you could do a half of the bike? You could do a 90.

No, no, no. Not on the same day. I mean, I'd need some training. I was going to say my balls would hurt, but you're growing. I like how none of us, we haven't even addressed the running distance. Oh, you know the running. Oh, no, that's impossible. No, no, no, no.

No one's ever run that far. So, yeah, Olympic rings. On the last trip of our year 13 class, a whole bunch of us got our school name tattooed on us. What the F were we thinking? Yeah, that's stupid because no one remembers the school. Their school name. Yeah.

Queen Margaret College. So passionate about the school. Oh dear. First one on the ribs, they got me to raise my arm or they placed the stencil. Three kids later, you can't even see that tattoo. I've got a rib cage. Lost in a fold.

I've got one of my ribs. Do you? What does it say? It's my marching team's dirk, like a knife. It's very symbolic. Does your team have a dirk? Yeah, we had like little knives. Anyway.

You be careful. You could be caught up for war. I know. When I go like this, it's definitely squishy. And then when I go like this, it's lovely. Yeah, hold it up. Hannah messaged in, I got the number seven written on my bum, but it looks like it says semen.

That tickled you, didn't it? Hey, I want to know, Hannah, why you've got seven. And was it your favourite movie? What's in the box? But now you've got semen. And was it your favourite movie? What's in the box? But now you've got semen on your bum. How do we feel about a removal of semen? Yeah, that's regrettable. Very regrettable. Play.

Sid Eames, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, if you've watched a great American comedy of late, he's probably worked on it. Michael Shaw, he's worked on The Good Place, Parks and Rec, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office. He's now written a book called How to Be Perfect. And he joins us beaming in from LA. Good morning, Michael. Hello. How are you? Thanks for having me. We're so good. We were just saying to you that we're in the future. We're a day ahead and things are still pretty shit.

All right. Well, listen, just keep giving me updates and Yeah, still pretty shit. All right, well, listen, just keep giving me updates and we'll take this one day at a time. We'll text you when it's all over and you can come to the house. I am so looking forward to sending that text. Michael, hang in there 12 more hours. Hey, now, look,

I have to resist talking to you about my favorite show, The Comeback. Maybe we can do that privately because we are going to talk about your book, How to Be Perfect, which comes on the back of The Good Place. Yes, the show was on for four years and in order to write it properly, I had to read a bunch of moral philosophy and ethics and talk about those things with a lot of smart and funny people. And at the end of it, I thought that if I could collect everything

that I've learned into one book and present it in a conversational and humorous way instead of a dry, boring, 19th century German way, maybe people would enjoy it. And so the book is sort of the summary of all of the stuff that I learned while I was writing the show. I have to say it makes some pretty big promises. It says that at the end of the book, we'll know exactly how to act in every conceivable situation. That's right.

Yeah. This is all you need. This is all you need for life. You will be a perfect human being if you read the book. It's a good sales pitch, right? Also, I like that you said you rather than presented like a 19th century German. 19th century German, slightly better presentation style than an early 20th century German. Yeah, fair enough. They changed.

If you have to read something German, yeah, go 18th century or 21st century. There's a period you can skip in there. Skip the 20th. There was some terrible publishing done in Germany, let's say early, early 1900s. So what's next then? Like book, done. Multitude of TV shows, done. What?

Do you have plans or have you ticked them all off now? I'm currently adapting the movie Field of Dreams into a limited series. Really? Which is exciting. Yeah, that's the thing I'm working on. I won't be out for a long time, but that's my current project.

So there's always a bunch of other stuff at various stages of development. You've written on so many amazing shows. Do you have a highlight of any of the shows you've worked on? The office just working. Like no one thought the office was a good idea. Everybody thought it was doomed to fail

and that we were stupid for trying it. So when that show actually became a hit, that felt like a highlight. And I didn't adapt that show, create it obviously. But the feeling of like, we felt like when we were writing that show that it was good and interesting and that we were being unfairly judged because American TV had never seen a show like that before. But we really liked it and we felt like it was good so when when it actually started to work and people started enjoying it that that was really exciting you've obviously got such flair at working on shows that make you i mean laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh but also make you like cringe at humanity you know like you watch the office you're like oh my god

michael scott stop it or like with lisa valerie you're like, you almost need to like turn the TV off and walk away. You have to watch it like a horror movie. Yeah, I mean that Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant kind of invented that genre. That wasn't a thing that you could see on TV before the British office. And the American office made it just a little more hopeful,

I think a little more optimistic. Is there someone that you'd love to write a character for? I mean, you've written for the likes of like Steve Carell, Lisa Kudrow, Amy Poehler, Ted Danson, like a huge, you know, long list of amazing and lovable actors. Is there someone like with the new adaption for Field of Dreams, for example, is there someone in the back of your mind you're like, oh, I'd love them to get that role?

To some extent. I mean, it's different when you're adapting something because there's someone you're comparing it to, right? Like whoever plays the lead role is like stepping into Kevin Costner's shoes. And Kevin Costner in 1988 or whatever it was was like the ultimate movie star. He did romance, he did action,

he did drama, he did action. He did drama. He did comedy. Like it's a, those are big shoes to fill. And we're not sure at this moment, who's going to play the role. I think the more exciting thing, honestly,

is to discover people. There's a casting director I work with named Alison Jones, who's cast like every great comedy, rest of development and the office and parks and rec and curb your enthusiasm and all those shows. Wow. And she has this incredible penchant for finding people. I mean, if you look at the cast of Parks and Rec,

the only known quantity was Amy Poehler, everybody else. And when you look at that cast, it's Aziz Ansari, Chris Pratt, Rashida Jones, Aubrey Plaza, Nick Offerman. It was so many people that no one had ever seen before. And she just has this incredible eye for finding those people. I remember watching Nick Offerman's audition and thinking, how is this guy not famous? Like this guy's incredible. And he has an enormous mustache. And that's really exciting. And how do you not, how is this guy not a known quantity? So that, that to me has been the really

fun part of doing these big ensemble shows is that you discover people that have, haven't made it yet. That's awesome. Yeah. And then Nick Offerman literally did a video where he sat in front of a fire crackling for like hours and millions and millions of people watched it. You did right. Like how was he not a big deal beforehand? I know. Yeah, he did that. He sat motionless for an hour and then they looped it. So it went on for like 12 hours. But still to sit that motionless for one hour is a pretty incredible feat. Well, we've all been reading your book in the studio here and you can absolutely see your iconic humor through the whole thing.

And it's such a great book and it's out now. So go and grab it. Michael Shaw, thank you so much for chatting to us. My pleasure. Thank you. Stepping up to the podium for the 10th year of Nero, your gold medalist. Where's my medal?

Did we win a Paralympics medal overnight or yesterday? Did I dream that? Well, you do have a lot of medal-based dreams. Famously. Famously. You're always lot of medal-based dreams. Famously. Famously, you. You're always telling us about your medal dreams. Corey Peters wins second medal at the Beijing Paralympics.

Go, Corey. What sport? He's in the skiing? Yes. In the Super G sitting. Super G sitting, yeah. So he sits and there's a ski underneath and slip, slip, slip, slip. God, bloody fast. There's no way I could do that.

Good on you, Corey. Yeah. Amazing. Great stuff. So what we're doing every Monday in March, awarding medals to people that have gone above and beyond. Something maybe that was in the too hard basket. Yeah.

And small achievements. Yeah. But very meaningful achievements that they don't feel they have been recognised enough for at a national level. Like when you clean

the oven at home and your wife doesn't care. I'm not doing that. That's too hard. That's a yuck job. I got the ice maker working again. Oh yeah, that's good.

Did she lay praise on me? Yeah. She did. She did cheer me in applause because I checked this morning when I left. I said, great news, Ice Maker's working again. Do you know what I want to do is clean the cupboard, the top of the cupboard shelves in the kitchen?

Yeah, do it. Yuck. It'll be so yuck. I dusted the top of the fridge yesterday. I never do that. And then I spray and wiped it. That thing was filthy. Yeah.

The house has dirt all on it. I can see it. Yeah. Because we've got to, like, you know got the cupboards that your fridge fits in. Yeah. And then on top I put a plant. Oh, yeah. I thought the whole shelf went back, but it didn't.

It tipped back and tipped dirt on top of the fridge. Just leave. I'm going to do that. I yesterday dismantled all of our moving boxes. Oh. With a knife? With a knife. That's the kind of thing we're looking for, for Where's My Metal.

So you can register for Where's My Medal every Monday, and we're doing this all thanks to our mates at Xero, helping businesses get their admin out of the too hard basket. And we're joined first up this morning by Sarah. Good morning. Good morning, guys. Why do you deserve a medal? Well, I have three children, so we do a lot of bushing,

and I decided the other day that when I put a load into the dryer, today could be the day that I burn the house down. So I decided I was going to clean the dryer filter. Oh, well, you should do that every time. I probably should. Famously. It's a big gun. My dryer is always like, beep, beep, beep, and it stops.

It tells you. It tells you, and it's like, lint. And I'm like, beep, beep, beep, and it stops. It tells you. It tells you, and it's like, lint. And I'm like, I just did the lint last week. How much lint? Every time. How much lint was in there, Sarah? A lot. Like, it was, like, bulging into the machine.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Sarah. Sarah. But, again, it's one of those things you just forget about. You can't be bothered. I just couldn't be bothered. I just couldn't be bothered. I definitely didn't forget about it.

Right. Well, those are... Bit of lint. Yeah. Bit of wax. Yeah. You guys have a great little fire lighter. Waste not one.

Oh, really? Waste not one. For winter, yeah. Okay, hold the line. Our medal ceremony's soon. Sarah, Emma, why do you deserve a medal? Well, the other day, I made some muffins with some overripe bananas instead of just putting them in the

freezer to live forever. You hero. Hero. You're an absolute hero. How many bananas have retired to the freezer to never leave? I had to clean out the other day, but I'm pretty sure there's at least eight or nine in there at the moment. Oh, I know. Do you peel them before you freeze them? No, I just tuck them in whole. Oh my god, you're a

monster. You're a monster. How are you going to peel them? It's a mess No, just chuck them in the hole. Oh my god, you're a monster. You're a monster. How are you going to peel them? You know what I mean? It's just, it's a mess. You defrost them in the microwave. Oh! You're going to get a sloppy nurse! Yeah, but that's perfect for a muffin. Yep. I always abbreviate and I won't abbreviate

that one. Not muffin. Alright, okay, Emma, wait there for our medal ceremony. Santana, good morning. Good morning. Why do you deserve the medal? I climbed into a stump to unblock it at work

and no one really noticed that it was unblocked. It was kind of annoying. What did you climb into to unblock? A stump. Oh, a stump. Like a sand trap noticed that it was unblocked. What did you climb into to unblock? A sump. Like a sand trap where all the cow crap and the washed down water

and everything goes into. Oh God. It was pretty gross, pretty deep. Right, so you did this disgusting task and nobody noticed. No, it was yeah, it went unnoticed for a while and everyone was like, oh, the sun's working really well

and I was like, oh, yeah, okay. Santana, we noticed. How much have you noticed? How much of your body had to like get involved in this pooey sand? I was very, it was up to my rib cage. Oh God, oh yuck. And nobody gave you credit.

Nobody gave you thanks. No. What did you smell like after that, Santana? It was pretty gross. I was wearing my work clothes for about a good hour and a half afterwards. Before I could get home. This is why I couldn't be a farmer. It's so yucky.

Too much food. This is the only reason why. I can think of a million reasons why I'm not up for the job. All right, Santana, wait there. It's time for our medal ceremony. The judging panel now deciding. Bronze. Where are we feeling?

That one? Yeah. And then silver? Or are you still at silver? Yeah. And then gold? Yeah. Okay, gotcha.

Oh, okay, wow. Now, we do have prizes, cash prizes. Holy shibboleth. For today's medal, bronze, winning $100. Are you kidding me? I've just looked at the prizes. Holy moly. Where did we get that from?

Our friends at Xero. Thanks, Xero Thanks Xero Simplifying everyday business tasks Making it easy to see all of your business information online Bloody Nora Fantastic $100 Bloody Nora $100 and bronze medal today

For her services to Sump And also a wicked duet with Rob Thomas in 1999. Santana! Congratulations. I like that late 90s, early 2000s reference one. That's fantastic. Congratulations Santana, $100 in our bronze medal this morning.

Awesome, thanks guys. Silver medal for services to her freezer by not just chucking whole bananas in there and then also services in the microwave

because I don't feel like it would like defrosting bananas. They start to smell weird. She made banana muffins straight away rather than squirrelling away those nimes for muffins

she'd never make. Congratulations, Emma. Thank you very much. Congratulations. You win thanks to our friends at Zero. $200? Amazing. Wait till you see gold, Emma. Thank you very much, guys. Congratulations. You win thanks to our friends at Xero. $200? Amazing. Wait till you see gold, mate.

Shivers me timbers. Well done. And that means... She didn't burn her house down, which I reckon any day that your house doesn't burn down is a pretty good day. It's a good day. She finally cleaned out the lint filter on her dryer.

Even though it wasn't raining at the weekend, she probably could have hung it on the lawn. Just saying. Judgey, judgey. She's got three kids. I'm just saying. It's one more than you. You don't know what it's like. Also, by the way, Vaughan's wife uses the dryer all the time when he's not home.

Yeah, absolutely. But I tell you what, she had a point about the crispy towels. You've always got to zhuzh your towels in the dryer. You've got to zhuzh them. Because she said to me, all right, Mr. No Dryer, here's your towel, and pass me a towel. Exactly the same type of towel. Crispy.

That had been dried on the line, it was crispy, and then she said, and this is mine, and it had been done in the dryer, and it was softer. Yeah. So I scratched myself dry. So she not only wins the metaphorical gold medal, she also wins $500. Thanks to our friends at Xero.

Shit, love, turn on the dryer again today. You'll flush with cash. That's so awesome. I'm so proud of myself. Yeah, we're proud of you. And I'm sure everyone's happy to just be alive in your house. Yeah, we really are. So there's her, there's Wordle, there's Quirtle, there's Worldle, there's...

This guy doesn't know where to start. Flirtle? What's Flirtle? I don't know. You flirt. You flirt with people? Loodle. That's the lewd words.

That's the lewd words. Rude words. That's a good one. There was a Taylor Swift one. Turtle? Yep. There was. Turtle?

Just where you've got to... Just poo based? Now there is a music version of Wordle. Called Hurdle. It gives you approximately one second of a song and you have to guess what the song is. It goes up in increments, doesn't it? So it'll give you more of the song. Right, yeah.

The more guesses you take. And I think, is it like Wordle? There's one song a day on Hurdle. And you get five guesses. Okay. Six guesses, sorry. Today's was easy. I'm going to say easy.

Ready? Yesterday's was ridiculously hard. I don't know. I didn't see yesterday's. Are there any particular genres? I think everything. Anything, yeah. Decades? That's what makes ridiculously hard. I didn't see yesterday's. Are there any particular genres? I think everything. Anything, yeah. Decades?

That's what makes it hard. Yeah. Any song in the world. What was today's? I'm just pressing play. So you only get... That's all you get. And again?

It's a very definitive sound a very Like very definitive sound Hold on I can't play it again Because I've got to do it again Here listen It's obviously Ariana Grande It's obvious It's obvious Yeah

It's obvious Which one? I didn't get it One of them But then that's the thing. One of the Arianas. This one, it does help. If you've got a feeling it's one of them,

you can type in, like I typed in Ariana Grande and it offered me three options. So then you pick one. So it can't be any song. They must have a database. Yeah, because if you've got a feeling, oh, it's an artist but I don't know the song, I typed in Ariana Grande

because I wasn't sure if it was Thank You Next or Seven Rings it's Seven Rings it's Seven Rings yeah but then it gave me the option there was only three options

from her which helps you a little bit I think right and that's today's hurdle so we've kind of ruined that for people I'm going to be terrible at this

producer Jared has tested us. Yeah, you heard Ned Sheeran's song the other day and you're like, what's this? And we're like, it's Ned Sheeran's song. Yeah, I'm absolutely terrible with music. Okay, well, Producer Jared's made us our very own hurdle. Feel free to play along at home. Okay. That's a hawk.

Oh, that's on the tip of my tongue. That's some kind of American hawk. No, it's not a bird. It's a song. It's an eagle of freedom. It's a hawk Oh that's on the tip of my tongue That's some kind of American hawk No it's not a bird It's a song It's an eagle of freedom It's a song And again What?

I just heard it in my head So someone messaged in And they got it right Did they? Boyfriend Justin Justin Bieber. I can be your boyfriend. Those are lyrics, are they? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's exactly it.

Okay, here's another one. Oh, easy peasy. Miley. Can't stop Miley Yeah Can't stop Miley Someone said So basically this is Face of Music With Simon Barnett

Yeah it really is Isn't it And that's show Benny Show Rural Yeah It's Benny Super Lonely

With Gus Yeah Fringadang Gang Easy there you go Okay I'm better at it than I thought. Yeah, see, you're, yeah. Is it, we good anymore? Nah.

Can we just keep playing this? How long have we got? Can we keep playing this? I'll get into Hurdle, because I've given, I'm, Wordle's, I've gotten worse at it. I'm sharing less with Wordle. I'm still achieving, but I'm not sharing results as much. Right. I don't share, because I'm usually a five. Yeah, you got a five today. You're a loser. Absolutely. I'm still achieving, but I'm not sharing results as much. Right. I don't share because I'm usually a five.

Yeah, you got a five today. You're a loser. Absolutely. I've had so many fives lately. I'll share if it's a three. I feel like threes break delicious. Three's shareable. Four's like, okay, you did the Wordle.

Yeah, four's you did the Wordle. Before I got two tenths. Five, exciting. All right. Six. Oh, don't talk about it. Don't share that. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. Wow, the impossible phone-in topic. We tried this last week. I thought, does your house have a ghost? It would be completely impossible. It's not impossible. But that was... This goes surreal because I've seen one.

Wow, it was ridiculous. A lot of eye-rolling from Vaughan and I. So much eye-rolling. Even after it finished, my DMs on Instagram were like, girl, I believe you, and then sharing ghost stories. Yeah. Well, today's impossible phone-in topic, we think this will be so impossible that no one will call.

Yes. So this... I read this article that was about a poor woman who was getting married and she had her bridal party all organised. The wedding day was all go. Yeah. And then, oh, you could have been hit by the sunlight. Oh, yeah, the sunlight just smashed in.

You look gorgeous. Your eyes are glistening. Oh, my God. Why don't you take a photo? Yeah. I always wonder how the sunlight. You absolutely look incredible right now. Oh, my gosh. I might just take a photo. I always wonder how the sunlight... You absolutely look incredible right now. Oh my gosh.

I can see it in my eyes. It's gorgeous. It's sparkly. I'm urging on blue rather than the usual. Obviously, listeners can't see, but there's certain times of the year where the sun hits the building opposite the studio and just shines right into our eyes.

I'm sorry, I interrupted the story. That's how beautiful he looks right now. Look at how good that is. I might put that on the FVH Instagram. As a post. Yeah, that's beautiful, isn't it? No, no, not a story. No, that's a post.

Like a post. That's a post. Yeah, poster. I think I might put this on as a post. Carween, do you reckon it's on the feed? Carween, you should see this thing close up. You'll see it close up whenever there's a post. He's glistening.

I'll look at him. Do you want one? No, I don't want one. You're hopping the line. No, I don't. Stand here and I'll get a photo of you. Well, we can do this when the song is playing.

And then I'll do it as a rote. No, we're not going to miss this. The sun's not going to... The sun moves, fool. No. Come on, Hayley. No, no, no. Come around, come around.

Quick, quick, quick. I'll take it. It's a vanity project. This is. No, no, no. Come around. Come around. Quick, quick, quick. It's a vanity project. This is. Hold on. Spin that around. Oh, my God. That does look amazing.

That does look amazing. That does look amazing. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Now you get one. But I'm not going to look. Mine's not going to look like that. You're going to look good. Guys, honestly.

Oh, gorgeous. Oh, my God. Did it work for you? Nah. Yeah. Oh, gorgeous. Oh, my gosh. Did it work for you? Nah. I just exposed. It blew him out. Nah, you look good. I'm going to put them all on out there.

Yeah, yeah. I'll shut the blinds while you... I'll tell the story. You tell the story. Everyone's got a job here. I want to direct traffic to Vaughn's Instagram page. No, no, no. I'm going to put it on the FVH one.

Oh, perfect, perfect. I'm not putting you on my rotator. Oh, I was going to say. Wow. And so, there you page? No, no, no. I'm going to put it on the FVH one. Oh, perfect, perfect. I'm not putting you on my rotator. Oh, I was going to say. Wow. There you go. No, that's enough. Leave the rest of it up. Okay, back to the story. What is the password? Oh my God. Just say it out loud.

They won't log on. She's going to message you. Yes, please. Okay, back to the story. Yep. A bride has her whole day organised. It is the day of the wedding. She gets please. Okay, back to the story. Yeah. A bride has her whole day organised. It is the day of the wedding. She gets there. Her husband doesn't turn up. Her fiancé does not turn up. She's ghosted at her

own wedding. She is ghosted at the altar, which is something you think you only see in movies. What had happened is the sister of the bride got all jealous because she got demoted from maid of honour to just bridesmaid. The most basic of roles. She wanted to be the maid of honour. Still a role though.

Still a role, still get a pretty frock. And so she sent the fiance, husband to be, a video of the wife at the hen's do with a stripper being a little too far, a little risque. Not doing it, but just like being a little too far, a little risque.

Not doing it, but just like getting a little too involved. What was his stag do like though? I don't know. Perfectly innocent, I'm sure. Sure. The video was enough for him not to turn up. She got ghosted.

Isn't that terrible? So the impossible phone-in topic today is Were you left at the altar? Surely not. Have you been stood up on your wedding day or even the day before will accept? You know, you have to

cancel the wedding. Or it just got too much on the day that Bridezilla came out or Grimzilla and they just left. They ghosted. Surely that doesn't happen. Like, it happens before, right?

Yeah, like. Or you go through with the wedding and then you're like, we've made a mistake. Let's annul this. I've always said this. I would never. Do you, Hayley, take Aaron? No, I would never.

I would be like, yeah. And then annul it. Annul. Or just don't sign that. You're an actress, actor. And the best you can come would be like, yeah. And then annul it. Annul. Or just don't sign it. You're an actress, actor. And the best you can come up with is, yeah. Is that $40,000 drama acting degree? Yeah.

Yeah. For as long as you both shall live. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What are you insinuating? Of course. I do.

Why is everyone looking at me? I'm not in love with someone else. I'll do it. Okay, well, I think, I honestly think this could be the first time the impossible phone-in topic won't work. Proves impossible. Were you left at the altar? Or do you know somebody?

Were you at a wedding or did you have a friend? Oh, yeah, we'll take second-hand stories. Absolute second-hand. We'll take second-hand. We'll take your sloppy second-hand stories. We'll have second hand. We'll take your sloppy second hand stories. We'll have your hand-me-down stories. Yeah. Well, the impossible phone-in topic comes to us from a story where a bride is just...

Left at the altar. Yeah, ghosted. Fiance didn't turn up, ghosted on the day after he saw a video of her at the hens do having a little bit too much fun with the stripper it's rude not to have

a bit of fun it is they've gone to all their effort they've taken off their clothes they've shaken their willy at you yeah it'd be rude not to touch it and all your gal pals

well I don't know if I'd go that far it'd be rude not to that's what I'd say maybe prod it. Give it a slap around. Whack it out of the way. Bat it out of your way.

Yeah, like a fly in the kitchen. You know when a fly flies in? Get out of it. One of those sorts of swings. Enough for her just to be, or for him to just be like, I'm not coming. He didn't turn up. And what's worse is he didn't tell her he wasn't going to turn up. He ghosted.

See, that's way too bad. Yeah. So we asked you, have you been left at the altar? Which is our impossible find. Or just on the day. It was just done. Yeah. Over.

What happened? Natalia, good morning. Morning. Oh, my gosh. We have a call. Yeah. It's not impossible. This was your ex-husband?

Yes. Okay, so he was going to get remarried. Correct. Okay, and what happened? He didn't turn up to the wedding. He stripped the bank accounts clean and his bed. What? Like fled the city or the country?

They don't know where he went to, but he just disappeared. What? Like, fled the city or the country? They don't know where he went to, but he just disappeared. And have they ever tracked him down? Yeah, he's resurfaced. He decided that he wanted to finally get in touch with his three children, which don't want anything to do with him. Wow.

Three children? He ghosted three children? He didn't ghost the wedding. No, no, no. The three kids are mine to him. Oh, right. Okay, yeah, right. The new wife-to-be, He ghosted three children. He didn't ghost the wedding. No, no, no. The three kids are mine to him. Oh, right. Okay, yeah, right. The new wife-to-be, he ghosted her and stripped her bank account.

Sounds like a top bloke. And this happened on the wedding day. So, like, the decorations were up, the chairs were set. Yep. The guests were... When did she find out it wasn't happening? Was she on the way there or... No, she was there waiting for him.

He didn't turn up. Oh. Oh. Oh, they're spares. This is why I always do the wedding gift bank transfer the day after the wedding. Yeah.

Write them a little card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make sure it all happens. Oh my God, that is, that's terrible. Agreed. I don't think

that's despicable, but anyway. And did he ever give a reason? No. I don't think, I'm feeling from your tone, Natalia, that you don't. Yeah, I don't have much time for this meme. I'm not surprised.

I don't like him. Obviously, I do have a disdain for the man. Yes. I can feel your disdain. I can smell it. Yeah. Wow, that disdain could strip paint. It had a real taste to it, a real aftertaste, didn't it, that disdain?

Natalia, thanks for your call. Some messages in. Not the only one. Friends of mine, the groom, had cold feet three days before. They'd been together for over a decade. Oh, my Lord. Three days before the wedding. He said he voiced his concerns that he had cold feet.

Went through with it anyway. Four weeks later, he was shacked up with a makeup artist from the wedding day. Wow. How does he... Doesn't even see the makeup artist. She's presumably with the bride. Well, she might have been doing some... At least the bride was doing a wonderful job of saying to the makeup artist, like, oh,

my husband's bees, the best man ever, and she sold him. Wow. This isn't real estate. Absolutely isn't real estate. Oh, my gosh. Oh, maybe he was getting a little powder. Maybe he wanted to rock a little eyeliner on the day. You never know.

Maybe. A little something, something. Somebody else said, my groom cancelled our wedding the day before while we were decorating our venue with our families. He really didn't have a reason. He just freaked out. We did get back together after several months,

but in the end it failed. Oh, dear. Wow. All right, we've got an anonymous caller. Good morning, anonymous. Hi. Who, what happened? So this was a large group of friends that I had growing up and I became a makeup artist and she asked me to be her makeup artist for the day. And then the night before, I got a very tearful call. And I thought, are you all right?

She said, no, something's really wrong. Can you come around? And she just said, it's all off. And so I called, you know, went around there with a bottle of wine, as you do. And we were sitting there chatting, and she kind of revealed very quickly that he wasn't interested in females as much as he'd been saying he was. Oh, wow. And he chose the day before the wedding day

to let her know this. Oh, yeah. We always thought that, you know, he kind of gave off that slightly feminine, masculine vibe. And, you know, being the day and age that we were in, there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. You know, being in touch with your feelings is fine.

Yeah, it's not really the 1950s, is it? No. You don't need to get a wife to cover things up. No. Wow. Okay, and then, yeah, so that was it. Everything's just gone to waste. Everything kind of went to waste,

and the very next morning, she kind of put herself together, and we actually threw a massive party instead of having a wedding. So it never went to waste. But then a couple of days later, there was sort of messages floating around and he'd run off with the best man. Turns out that they'd been more than

best friends. Oh! Double deceit! That's a double deceit! Holy! Wow, I like this a lot. I like this a lot. This could be a miniseries. You need to This could be a miniseries. You need to turn this into a miniseries. What about the guests?

Like, how did your friend on the night before, she's called you, you're having a wine, how did she let all those guests know? We just took to Facebook and sort of messaged everyone that we could and got on the phone, just texted and called everyone. A lot of them, obviously, the family, a lot of the actual, like, you know, grandparents and parents didn't turn up to the little shindig

we ended up having, but everyone else did. Wow. Did the best man have a girlfriend as well? He never really seemed to have them for very long, so that kind of put question marks over his sexuality. He likes the boys! Wow.

Are they still together now? Like how long ago did this happen? About six years ago. And they're happily married. And she's happily got a partner and some kids. So everyone's happy in the end. Happy ending. Fantastic.

What a wild story. Anonymous, amazing. Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you. Yeah. Don't tell me there's for sharing. Thank you. Yeah. Don't tell me there's more. Yeah, there's more. Oh, my gosh.

A friend of mine stole his now wife from the altar of her wedding to another man. Say that again. So a friend of mine stole his now wife. So he's married to her now, but he stole her from the altar of her wedding to another man. Whoa. So at the wedding he went. Maybe he did the this is the reason he didn't want to get any reasons. Oh my god, yeah. Objections. On my hen's night, we were at the pub

and this bride came in in her wedding dress and the bridesmaids in their dresses, and I was like, this is intense. Because you know, you might chuck on something that looks a little bit like a bridal gown before your hen's night. It turns out that they were actually on the way to... I got talking to one of the bridesmaids, they'd been telling the bride for years

that he was a dickhead and on the way to the church with a little bit of evidence that they'd acquired, she changed her mind so they went to the pub and said, do that a few weeks before. They might have had the evidence, Your Honour, may have not have been.

Exactly. They might not have had the evidence at that stage. Wild. Wild. Wow. Mm. That's so expensive. So it happens, just like the movies. Just like the movies.

Not impossible. Little old New Zealand. Yeah. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. You guys heard of Thomas Edison?

I. I. Yes. I. I. I, I have. Yes, I, you have. Okay.

Just, what? Yes. So Thomas Edison Was an inventor If you haven't heard Of Thomas Edison He invented lots He sort of specialised In electric stuff

He invented The incandescent light bulb The gramophone Film as we know it Movie cameras He's got a long list Of amazing inventions Yeah

I don't buy it The little carbon microphone That used to be In telephone receivers Down the bottom there Movie cameras. He's got a long list of amazing inventions. Yeah, I don't buy it. The little carbon microphone that used to be in telephone receivers down the bottom there. You don't buy it. He has come from the future with all the ideas. It's too many for one person. Do you ever have that thing? It's a bit fishy to me.

If you could go back to the 1300s or whatever, and people were like, if you could go back, you'd be revered for your knowledge. I could go back and I could be like there's these things right on the wall and you can pick your one up and push some numbers and then somebody else with a thing on the wall answers

and they say hello and they'll be like, make one for us and I'll be like, I've got no idea. Sure, sure, yeah, yeah. There's these carts right, but they don't need a horse to pull them. There's this flammable liquid and it goes into it and it lights and then it makes the piston go and it turns the thing and it makes the wheels go round. Oh, my God, sir.

It'll revolutionise travel and transport. Make us one. I've got no idea how. I just met this guy with weird stories. He's an idea. From a distant land. He's an ideas man. Yeah, yeah.

How do these things work? I've got no, you can hold a device and you click a button and a flash will go off and then the very thing that you saw through the lens will be stored and you'll be able to have it for perpetuity. Make us one. I don't know how. Nothing. You'd be the worst time traveller ever. So maybe Thomas Edison did come back. Yeah. Make us one I don't know how Nothing You'd be the worst time traveller ever

So maybe Thomas Edison did come back Yeah With a great knowledge But he just made what he could You know with at the time But you know Just saying jury's out on him Magnificent

Magnificent inventor However he had a son Called Thomas Edison Jr Okay Original Yeah very original Whom he was so ashamed of Oh really He had a son called Thomas Edison Jr. Okay. Original. Yeah, very original, whom he was so ashamed of. Oh, really? That he paid him $35 a week to use a different name.

Whoa, was he dumb? Was he an actor or something? One of the... Was he a comedian or something stupid? He was a quack. Which doctor? Yeah, a tonic salesperson, a snake oil salesperson. Comedian or something stupid. He was a quack. Witch doctor. Yeah, tonic salesperson, a snake oil salesperson. Their version of like an anti-vax protester.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, with like Pete Evans' anti-5G vaccine crystals or whatever they were. Fix it all with keto. Yeah, those sorts of things. So one of his most famous one was called the Magno Electric Vitalizer. And this could conquer pain, suffering. It would relieve all manner of things.

And the best part about it was it didn't require any electricity like his father's dumb inventions because it just used the electricity that you created. Right. Here's a picture of it strapped to somebody's head. Sort of a belt around the head, a suction cup on each side, and from the suction cup

a swimmer goes up your nose. I would absolutely buy that. And you wore that around and that would just cure whatever ails you. He wanted nothing to do with his own son. There's absolutely no scientific proof that this works. Yeah.

Like, show me how it turns human electricity into anything. Show me where it does. You're making claims that it can fix kidney disorders. If someone's having erectile dysfunction, it'll sort that out. Women who are suffering infertility, nagging, congestion, any manner of what is just falling under

this giant umbrella of lady troubles. Oh, wow. So he's just a snake oil salesman, really. So he was dragging the name into the mud. So his father's like, I will pay you money to not use my name. Which in the day, $35, what did you say? A lot.

That would have been a lot of money. What did he change his name to? Thomas Willard. Okay. That's quite nice. Was the name he used. And then nobody would be like, oh, you're the son of the famous, or you've got the name of the famous inventor.

But then trading on the Edison name, who at the time was a household name for his inventions, might have been worth more than $35 a week. Yeah, true. And sales of this head strap thing with an up your schnozza. Thank goodness it wasn't Facebook. Otherwise, everyone would have a face schnozzy thing. Yeah.

But then maybe in the modern day, a little bit of block the nose. Yep. Keep the COVID in. Yeah, true. Yeah of block the nose. Yep. Keep the COVID in. Yeah, true. On the temples. Do you still buy them? No. I mean, you can make your own.

I've got a myriad of lady troubles, and I would absolutely love one of those. You can make your own. Pretty easy design to follow here. Bit of bent wire. It's like a stethoscope up your nose, doesn't it? That's attached to a headband to describe that picture. A headband. It didn't work and it did nothing.

But today's fact of the day is world famous inventor Thomas Edison was so ashamed of his son's snake oil salesperson that he paid him $35 a week to use a different name. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. release the countries that are fastest at solving Wordle, which has taken the world by storm. The list includes the average amount of guesses. Does the list include us?

Yes, it does. Oh, okay. And sadly, we are tied for the 18th spot with the United States. Oh. Yeah. Americans. So, we're tied with the United States. Oh. Yeah. Americans. So we're tied with the United States,

18th in the world for Wordle, with an average of 3.92 guesses to complete Wordle. 3.92. That's 18th? Yeah. Australia, though, is fourth. And Australia's cities dominate the top ten cities list. We're not even in any of the top ten cities.

To me, it shouldn't all be on how many guesses. It should be timed. And surely the computer program knows from your first guess to the correct guess how long it took you. Well, no, it's not, though. So Canberra, which I guess is their Wellington. Because they might be cheating. Home of all of the, you know, the, what do you call them? Bureaucrats?

Bureaucrats. The, you know, government workers, politicians. 3.58. That's quick. That's quick. And that is the number one city followed by Jerusalem in Israel. 3.63. Followed by Sweden, Durban in South Africa, Paris, France, Perth, Australia, Melbourne,

Australia, 3.7 average guesses, Adelaide, 3.71 average guesses, Manila, the Philippines, beat New Zealand, 3.72, Geneva, Switzerland, 3.72. So those are the best cities for Wordle but the number one country 3.72 average guesses to finish Wordle Sweden and not even their first language

the other Scandi countries don't do as well and we beat them Finland 3.81 Norway's 4 suck it Norway Norway's 4. Suck it, Norway. Yeah, Norway's 4.03. But again, not their first language.

New Zealand 3.96. Who's the worst? Who's the bottom? There's a lot of countries they're not playing. Oh, 4.42, Egypt. But again, not their first language. A lot of the South American countries and Mexico are all around the fours as well. 4.21 in Ecuador. Anyone looked into Australia cheating?

Yeah, I think it's a name. Yeah. They love a cheat. They're posting it and then everyone's just getting it in one. Yeah, or they just tell your mates. I wouldn't put it past them. Would not put it past them. Those.

But we are. Sandpaper all over. Yeah, we're pretty much better put it past them. Would not put it past them. Those. But we are. Sandpaper all over. Yeah, we're pretty much better than most US states as well. Well, that's good. But also expected. Yeah. Especially the middle ones. I don't know why I feel so insulted to be at the same level as America.

Yeah, it is. It hurts, doesn't it? It does hurt. Especially when Australia is so far ahead. I don't think it's America. Yeah, it hurts, doesn't it? It does hurt. Especially when Australia are so far ahead. Yeah, I know. Australia might also ban, have they banned people playing who aren't good? Yeah.

Maybe. They might have banned Wordle. The website's not working anymore. Yeah, there's a filter on the Australian internet and if you fail two Wordles, that's it. You don't get to play Wordle anymore, so only the strong survivor brings up their average. Yeah, that's exactly what they're doing. That'll be it. Trust the Australians to cheat.

I can't believe this. Silly Little Pole Today's Silly Little Pole. Are you planning overseas travel this year? 2022. It's a question, isn't it? It's like... I don't know, fool me once. Yeah. You know, I had a trip

booked an absolute six weeker over in Europe with my family and Aaron in 2020 in June 2020. And did you get credit

for those flights or a refund? Refunded. Refunded most of the flights and then my little connecting ones I've got like Ryanair

100 bucks that I'll just never use, and it just rolls over. I actually managed to get everything back, everything but the leg room. Because you're just a variant away, aren't you? A new variant away from having to cancel your holiday. Wow. And then get even more credit. Michael Baker, epidemiologist Michael Baker. This isn't just some guy on Facebook who classes himself as an epidemiologist.

This is the one. He had three predictions for this year. New variant. Yep. New advancements in vaccines. And I've forgotten the third. Oh, damn. I was hooked.

Is it biscuits? Is it biscuits? A new biscuit? You talk percentages. I'll find Michael Baker's what he reckons. Well, this is surprising to me. I mean, I'm guessing we're including Australia as overseas. Yeah.

And I'm wondering if that's a large contingent of this. Nah, 64%. No, I'm not going to do it. 36% of people have plans to travel overseas this year. So a couple of things on that. A friend was saying they wanted to go to Australia to see friends and family, maybe just for like a long weekend.

There, you still have to have a rat. You still have to have a test before flying to Australia. Yeah. So that's like a lot of admin. You're either going to have to pay a couple of hundred bucks for a test. If you get a rat, it has to be witnessed by like a doctor

or a pharmacy or whatever. So that's an appointment. And then yeah, it's a lot of admin. I'd like to go over to Melbourne. My brother lives there. I haven't seen him for a while. I did sneak over in the Gap last year.

They just came out of lockdown. It was something like the top of August and I left on Monday, and then they went back into lockdown on Tuesday. I was like, how did I get away with that? I think that was when my parents snuck back. Yeah, just like quickly zipped over, zipped back. Yeah.

But I would love, I'd love a Bali, I'd love a Thailand, I'd love a Italy. But it's a risk, isn't it? But yeah, so what are most people saying again? Nah, 65% basically are not going, but 35% have said yes. Well, lucky we live in a beautiful country. Danny messaged saying not this year,

but definitely next year. I think that's what, don't they say three years for a pandemic? Do they? That's what they say. That's what they say. They say. That's what they say.

They say that. 2020, done. They're always saying that. 21, done. Well, I looked at flights just out of interest for Australia over Easter, and there were like hardly any flights. Like maybe three, four. They'll increase it, though, once we start going.

They say. Jacob Messagen. You're crazy, Jacob. I'm going to Europe in five days for three months just because I can. But if you can, if you don't have work or whatever, if work's giving you three months off, why wouldn't you? But then Europe is teetering on the edge of war right now, so maybe not the best time to go.

Yeah, what part of Europe, dude? Is it within range of a Russian intercontinental ballistic missile? Yeah. Great news for Portugal. They're as far from Russia as you can get and still be in Europe. Did you find the third Michael Backers third thing? Was it cookies? It was not cookies.

It was New Zealand will find a long-term strategy. So it was... That's boring. Yeah, that is. That's a boring one. It was more Omicron waves and a new variant. Because what are we rolling?

We're rolling a new variant about every six months. Like a good variant. Yeah, well, I think, fair to say, if you are going to book anything and you're in that 30, 40% of people that do want a holiday,

make sure you've got the option to get credits. It's refundable. Shania's messaging, going to Coachella, baby. Oh, is Coachella happening? Yeah, no, it is. And they've dropped all their mandates too.

After having my trip cancelled two years in a row and not having any border restrictions. I don't see much point in cancelling a third time. I'm aware there's a high chance I'll catch COVID. I'm prepared for it. Fully backed. Well, if you're going to go to America, make sure you've got health insurance

because you don't want to be stuck in America with a giant bill. Ashley messaged, and I've got a friend at the moment who's just popped over from Melbourne with her newborn. Finally gets to meet, you know, her parents finally get to meet. Ashley messaged, I'm off to Canada with my new baby. I mean, that makes a lot of sense. It'll be hard to have a baby and not have your own parents around. A lot of people planning for next year.

So they're going to give it one more year. Yeah, Ruth hasn't seen her family since 2019. It's tough. All right.