ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 7th March 2023

Episode Date: March 6, 2023

China Bans Live Modelling   Top 6: Toblerone   Silly Little Poll!   Hayley got Mail   Ny Oh!   August's Hustling   Census Day!   Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Drive through and get a cup of barista made McCafe coffee on the go. I'm re-recording this intro to give you a warning. So this is how it goes. We do the show and then after the show we record the podcast intro.

Now after the podcast intro we're recording a podcast intro intro to say to you that the podcast intro today gets off the rails. It's probably not suitable for younger ears. Absolutely not suitable for younger ears. There's sexual content. There's sexual content. Foul language. Foul language. You get stuck in a wine rack.

Yeah. That was right at the end You won't see that coming I certainly didn't No So now let's just If you're with younger people Or you know

One of our more conservative listeners I would just 15 second Until you hear the show intro Of the actual show. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe.

Drive through and get a cup of barista-made McCafe coffee on the go. Discovery during the show this morning. Fletch doesn't know how old he is. No, I've just figured it out. I went to agecalculator.net or calculator.net. But you thought you were 34? I filled out, no.

No, 44? 42. 42? And I filled out my census because it's Census Day here in New Zealand today. We'll talk about this on the show. Yes. Because you've got an issue with your census.

I sure do. And your household. Now, the dwelling form, I think, needed an age, and I put show. Yes. Because you've got an SU with your census. I sure do. And your household. Now, the dwelling form I think needed an age and I put 42. Yeah. And then when I did my next census form

about me. Where you put your date of birth. Where you put your date of birth. It calculated it at 43 and I was like, oh, fuck. And I can't change the dwelling form.

So when we're talking about going to your hometown to celebrate your birthday, we're celebrating 44, not 43. Yeah. Which I told everybody 43 it's my 43rd birthday I don't know about you you're younger than Vaughn and I but I have to think about it now because it doesn't register as much as saying it's not so exciting anymore you're not like oh I'm 30 this year and then you're like 30 30 and all you think about is that now I'm just like it's just another year yeah and so i am actually like do you do this as

well vaughn that's an old person thing like if i had to quickly like if i wasn't thinking about my age and then someone said real quickly like you got a second to answer how old are you i'd be like ah 27 because you still feel 27 yeah i think so Yeah I don't know I'm 19 still I've always been 19 You're 27 How old are you Fletch? In your heart In your soul

10 Because I still like Lollies lots He likes lollies so much So much He really likes lollies Nice baked beans Yeah but I don't know

You just And holy shit I'm a year older Than I thought I was You just lost a year. You just lost a whole year. Is this long COVID? Yeah, man.

Messing with my brain. If it's like, how old are you? I take ages to think about it. Yeah, same. But if it's like, pick your date of birth. I just go, wee! 82. Yeah.

Yeah, right. Like, I know what I'm looking for immediately, but if you ask, my date of birth, done. Locked in. But if you ask me how old I am, I have to really about it what year is it how old am i how old do i feel but my last digit is always the last digit of the year no so is mine yeah so i don't know why i haven't noticed that or thought about it no only until june only till june only till june and that's literally half the year yeah but it's so that doesn year, you're on the piss. Whereas I say that because my birthday is October.

So I'm 33 now in 2023. Yeah. For most of it, other than three months. Oh, because you were both born with a nine at the end. Yeah. You're 89 and Fletcher's 79. Yeah. Yeah.

Ten years apart. Keeping it tight. Who's keeping it tight? Fletcher's keeping it tight. Fletcher's Keeping it tight. Who's keeping it tight? Fletch is keeping it tight. She's keeping it tight. Fletch is the best face out of all of us. Thank you. What's wrong with my face?

Will you hide half your face? We don't even know what the fuck you look like. It's just, give us a look at it. It's just, oh yeah, look at that. It's like putty. It's like Play-Doh. I wasn't going to say that. It's like Play-Doh. You go like that. It's like putty. It's like Play-Doh. I wasn't going to say that. It's like Play-Doh.

You go like that. Mine's the same. You've got a very youthful face when you get rid of your beard. He's a boy. People constantly say when you shave your beard, oh, he's so much younger. But also you're a father. You wear the fatherhood on your face.

Yeah. You've raised two great young girls. And if I shave my beard off People will say Do you want to meet John Cena If you're a wooden wish? I'm like You're like, I don't have cancer

John Cena, oh I don't wooden wish Oh I wouldn't mind Many more John Cena, please I don't have cancer Yeah, I don't No Oh shit, do I? None of the boys have cancer

Fuck We're in your 40s now Fuck, fuck am I? Get a finger up the bum And make sure it's all good Oh no, the finger up the bum? That's okie-divey. All right.

No prostate cancer. Yeah, good. I learned from a doctor that I heard on a podcast, like an official doctor, not like a podcast doctor. A TikTok doctor. Like a proper medical doctor who has arsed on a podcast. He's not a freedom doctor. Doctors for Freedom.

That's not one of those doctors. No, no, no, no, no, no. He's a doctor for medicine. Okay, yeah. He's a doctor for research, scientific results. Not a doctor for Jesus. Okay, yeah. Well-researched scientific results. Not a doctor for Jesus. Thoughts and prayers. He said that the prostate, you've just got to consistently abuse it

or consistently deprive it. It's not good for the prostate to be absolutely wrung out in the 20s with a prolific masturbation schedule, and then you go cold, zero dark 30 in your 30s. You've got to stay consistent. So you set the pace. You set the pace in your 20s. It's an

organ that responds best to consistent treatment. It sounds like someone is looking for an excuse to be a bottom. No, well I... What? No! No, a little maz. He sees a little maz. Because I read that article this morning that didn't make it into the show. God knows why. Oh, well, Car. What? No. No, a little maz. I didn't excuse to be a bottom. He's a little maz because I read that article this morning that didn't make it into the show. God knows why.

Oh, well, Carlin said it was too dirty for 16. Oh, I know. She's a prude. Yeah. That men should be masturbating 21 times a month. Wow. Well, Carlin said that's too crude to go on the show. But yesterday she sent us the sign language interpreter

for Kim Petras' performance at Sydney Mardi Gras. The horniest thing. The sign language interpreter was just constantly going, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. We're doing a gag on something. Yeah, the song's called Throat Goat. What do you expect? Can I just say, this is what we do.

Oh, don't do that. That's rude. Oh, you can't say that. Yeah, she thinks it's filth. It's a banger. It's a banger. Do we play Throat Goat on Zed? No.

Zed's so confusing. What they find offensive and what they want to hold up as some sort of national treasure. When I said no to 16, it was more broadcasting standards that I had in my brain, not my personal thoughts. It's not the wild west of audio out here in podcast world. Indeed, yeah. We can say anything. Shit. Squirting porn's illegal in New Zealand.

Oh, my gosh. Boy, now we're just like the word squirting. Trigger warning. Oh, trigger warning. Trigger warning. Squirting content ahead. I'm going to put my rain jacket on. Trigger warning.

Get yourself a poncho. Trick or warning. Squirt porn, illegal in New Zealand. Yeah. Only female though. Yeah, but all you've got to do is say it's just wheeze. Because wee-wee's porn isn't. How did it become illegal?

So in the early 1990s, the chief censor who decides what can and cannot be broadcast, distributed and watched in New Zealand. Was apparently a conservative Christian man. Oh, goodness. And for some reason he drew the line at school. For some reason. For some reason. Some reason.

That's where he decided to draw the line in the sand. But he didn't make homosexual porn illegal. This man of the Lord. No, no, no. Because I think. It was just the act of. It was something about that. Something about that. This man of the Lord. No, no, no. Because I think. It was just the act of. There was something about that. Something about that.

Yeah, right. Okay. And he was like, oh. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Maybe from a laundry point of view. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, maybe.

But he would have had to have watched so much of it to know how full on it is, I guess. The chief censor has to watch everything to give it a grade. He's got a team of people, right? He's got a team of people, but they have to watch everything. Everything. The chief censor came and spoke to us at broadcasting school, and at the time I was just like, you are the most fascinating guest here. Yeah.

Because you've watched stuff that we couldn't even dream of. Yeah. The internet was in a fledgling shape. They have to ban stuff. Yeah, yeah. None of that. Yeah. That's what they have to say. None of of. Yeah. The internet was in its fledgling shape. They have to ban stuff. Yeah, yeah. None of that. Yeah. That's what they have to say.

None of that. Or RAT. I'd be like, it'll be fine. Let everything through. Oh, my God. You know my wine rack that I got made? It's like this long sort of tunnel with holes in it that I get my wine rack in. I thought of you the other day, Paul, because I put my arm in the hole and I said, hey,

Aaron, look, I'm stuck. Stuck porn. He didn't have a problem with that. of you the other day, Paul, because I put my arm in the hole and I said, hey, Aaron, look, I'm stuck. Stuck porn. He didn't have a problem with that. Mind you, that's more of a 2000 situation. Wait, what is stuck porn? What's up with your stepsister stuck in the laundry out of the machine? She, like, puts her hands into the washing machine and she's like, oh, no, where's the remote?

Down the couch. Oh, no, I'm stuck. It's like, you're not trying to get, that's the thing that frustrates me the most about it. You're not stuck. Get your hand out of there. You could get out of there quite easily. Oh, absolutely. I got stuck. It's like, you're not trying to get, that's the thing that frustrates me the most about it. You're not stuck. Get your hand out of there. You could get out of there quite easily. Oh, absolutely.

I got stuck in the one rack. What are we going to do? What are we going to do, stiff bro? How did you get out of there? Jay, this is going to be the worst podcast intro of all time. Sorry, out of control. I apologise. I forgot where we were.

Jesus. And joy from here on out, a relatively calm show. Play ZM's Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Happy Harry Styles Tuesday.

Yes. Happy census day. Yes. A million people have already filled out their sensei early. I've got mine here along with some other life admin I need to do today. Oh, well, we've got a lot to talk about. Read that pile of paper that you're holding. The census, you've got an issue with the census.

I've got a little issue with the census. You've received a new letter. Well, I've got a water bill. We'll just deal with that. That'll be an easy one to sort. Right. And then, yeah, I've got another letter bill. We'll just deal with that. That'll be an easy one to sort. Right. And then, yeah, I've got another letter. Quite an aggressive one.

Where do you sit on the water usage? On the back of the water bill. It'll tell you what range you are in. Ooh, quite high. Average daily consumption. Oh, no, you're only mid for two people. That's good. Mid for two people. mid for two people. That's good. Mid for two people.

And there are two people. You've got a big man, though. There's more of him to shower. More body to wash. More body to wash. That's right. So he's going to be in the shower longer. Okay, well, I'm happy to pay that then.

I'll pay it. All right, on the show this morning, we'll give you today's cash combo, the chance for you to win $1,000 cash. All you've got to do is listen for the three artists after 9 o'clock. We'll give you those after 7 o'clock. The top six is coming up. Yeah, something to do with Toblerone.

Because the people of Switzerland have voted to have the mountain. Matterhorn? Yes. It's Matterhorn, yeah. Matterhorn taken off Toblerone because they're moving production. Right. And they're like, well, if you don't make it here, you can't use our beautiful mountain. I mean, that's fair enough, isn't it?

Yeah. I never even thought it was an actual mountain. No, it's a real mountain. But then I saw a photo, somebody held up a Toblerone block in front of the Matterhorn. And that's why it was. And it, like, finished the mountain. Yeah, nice. It was quite neat.

Quite neat, was it? And quite yum. Yeah. What if they just changed the overall Toblerone shape? No, you've got to have the triangles. What about the more jagged thing, like a more sort of star, like a star? More spikes. More spikes for more parts of your mouth to be stabbed by.

Like an anti-tank spike. Yeah. Yeah, but it's all chocolate. Like one of those beach blockades from World War II. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently they've made a gold one. Some people messaged me that. Like a caramel.

Toasted white chocolate. Yeah. Oh my God, so exciting. Hold me back. I want to buy it. The top six is coming up, but next on the show. China has banned something. Something that I was honestly considering giving a go.

Okay. I didn't actually know about this. The live stream shopping scene in China. So it's like how we have shopping channels. Yeah. Here I am wearing a lovely frock. It comes in blue, green and yellow. You can get it for three easy payments of

$900. Hurry, there are only 20 left. Sorry to deride you, Janice. Only 18 left. Oh no. See, people are snapping them up, aren't they? They're gorgeous. I've got one in every colour. Go, go, go. Go, go, go. Oh, 15. Oh, they're flying out the window.

So like we have that on telly, China is live streamed online. Right. And apparently it is a booming industry. Makes about $700 billion a year. So just what, like TikTok live or Instagram live? All of them. Whatever. What do they use?

Weibo. Weibo? Yeah, they don't have Facebook. That's their Facebook. That's their Facebook, hey? That's their Facebook. Oh, interesting. Apparently, yeah, the industry accounts for about 10% of the country's e-commerce revenue. I mean, for China, that's massive. Which makes sense.

Like, we've had online shopping since television started, right? Yeah, I know, but we don't live stream. Like, Glassons doesn't do a bloody live stream with their latest bandeau top. You know? Their latest hipster jean. Isn't that what they're doing now? I've seen some trash on TikTok live. They might be like oh it wouldn't be good for the brand.

Duh, don't worry about it. There are some things on there that aren't good for humanity. You'll be the classiest one on there. I was going to say, is that how you could sell your old jeans? But the reason you're selling your old jeans is because you bought them in the hope that you'd fit them. So you couldn't model them. Well, the modelling is the issue here. China has placed a ban on females.

Well, I think this has been in place for a while. Females modelling lingerie. And the selling of lingerie is a huge part of it. Like really like elaborate stuff, like little 90s and singlets. So what, they have to hold it up now? Well, that was sort of, I guess, what they wanted to happen. Or to just use a blank sort of mannequin

with not too much sexiness going on. But instead, the way a lot of brands are retaliating is by getting men to model the lingerie. And I've got to say, they look beautiful. These men, they've got... I love... This one here's got a gorgeous décolletage and he's packed himself into a little sort of velvet pink teddy

and a little robe on top. I love the exploitation of a loophole. This is the thing. I love it. Will it get closed? I wouldn't risk a loophole in China. It feels like a loophole you could disappear into it, you know? You die for, yeah.

Well, apparently if a woman was to pop up on one of these things, people just try to go, oh, it'll get lost in the masses. It's like seconds and it's taken down. They've got so many people scanning this thing. But look at the boys, aren't they? Aren't they gorgeous in their little negligees? Their sexy little lingeries. It's weird that they didn't ban that first.

This feels sort of more... Not that I think it should be banned, but if we're talking about sort of like... China's sort of conservative views. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, this is the loophole. And some people are saying,

we've got to say it, the guys wear it better than the girls. Well, I've always said with your legs, Vaughn, you'd be good at this. Well, do you remember the other day I had a dress delivered to me to try on for a photo shoot and it wouldn't go near me, but Vaughn gave it a red hot wave and I squazzed into it. I thought you wouldn't go near it.

Yeah, the excuse I gave was that it wouldn't go near me. Oh, right. It was a bit of a weird thing. And, yeah, Vaughn, you slipped into it and I've got to say, you could wear it on the streets and I wouldn't go near me, but... Oh, right. It was a bit of both. I wasn't wearing that straight. Yeah. And, yeah, Vaughn, you slipped into it, and I've got to say, you could wear it on the streets and I wouldn't be mad. The legs. Namaste. Thank you very much.

I appreciate it. You could wear it to Harry Styles tonight, actually. Yeah. I'm not going to Harry Styles tonight. Aren't you? No. I thought everyone was. That was by choice.

Right. Right. It's Tuesday. It's Taco Tuesday. I don't care how hot this Harry foul is. Yeah, but I'm doing Taco Tuesday and then Harry Styles. Oh, no, It's Taco Tuesday I don't care how hot This Harry foul is Yeah but I'm doing Taco Tuesday

And then Harry's size Oh no Taco Tuesday So you've got to eat So many tacos You simply can't do anything You're worried that You'll be at Mount Smart

And the tacos will hit Oh yeah You can't have that Those toilets Is he playing at Mount Smart Yeah Ambitious He's Harry Styles

He's Harry Styles He's going to sell that Many tickets does he Yeah What do you reckon He should be at bloody Oh one fifth of it He's Harry Styles. He's Harry Styles. He's going to sell that many tickets, is he? Yeah. What do you reckon he should be at bloody? Oh, one fifth of it. He's only like one direction.

Where are the rest of the boys? Maybe he could be down at bloody Power Station or something. I reckon he's at Power Station. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Situation. What is Power Station? 200? I'm negging him. Yeah.

I reckon he needs to know. He'll be into it. Yeah, yeah. We don't just build you up. We'll cut you down. Yeah. I'm negging him. At what point of the day? I know we're going to talk about this soon, but at what point of the day is he needs to know. He'll be into it. Yeah, we don't just build you up, we'll cut you down. Yeah. I'm negging him. At what point of the day, I know we're going to talk about this soon,

but at what point of the day is he going to rock his census? Or do you think he's going to get staff to do it for him? I think someone will do it for him, surely. Surely. He has to answer the questions, though. They'll be yelling it at him. Is it the hotel's responsibility? Yeah, I think so, yeah.

Because it poos under the roof, right? Is it? Yeah. Do you know that they slide it under your door at the start of the day. Really? Fill this out, please. Here's a pen. Fill it out.

Yeah. We've actually got an interview this morning about 25 past 7, 20 past 7. Which one is it? Because people might be tuning in at 20 past and they won't have enough time. I can tune in at 20 past 7. In preparation. In preparation for this interview. You won't miss it if you tune in at twenty past seven.

I just don't go anywhere. We have the Kiwi connection. Yes. The Kiwi that's in Harry Styles' band. Yeah, Naomi, who names Naomi but goes by Naomi as an artist. She's in the band, but she also has her own career and plays so many instruments and she's amazing. So we get the goss from her this morning.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fitness isn't fun. Fitness isn't fun. The girls at the gym are always like, how was it today? And I said, as torturous as yesterday. And I assume as awful as tomorrow. Are you closing your rings? Closing those rings.

Good, good. I haven't been closing my rings because the band's giving me a bit of stress, a bit of eczema. Oh. So I just take it off. It gets annoying. That's the only reason. But are you still closing your, like if you were wearing the watch, would you be closing them?

Oh, like twofold. Yeah. Twofold. Yeah, okay. How many calories? I'm up to 120 pull-ups a day. Oh, that's good. And lots of 20.

Good Lord. So it is six lots of 20. Jacked. Vaughan Jackman. How do you even, you're Vaughan Jackman. How do you even lift? You're Vaughan Jackman. How do you even lift yourself up? I just do. I'm just like, well, I've got to get my head above that bit.

Wow. And then you just pull it up and then you do a few more the next day and then you keep going. Do you do it like me and have like four sort of bands helping you so you weigh about 10 kgs? Nah, no bands. Wow, no bands. White bricks, white goods.

Don't go like that. That's going to come in. Oh, I'm all about that. That's going to come in. I'm all about that. That's going to be so handy one day when you're on the edge of a cliff. Oh, I know. Yeah, I'll just be like, oh, I'll be back. I'll go back down. Yeah.

Don't fall. Because that's good as well because I'm more of a puller that way. I can't pull up, but I can pull that way. So I'll be on the other side of the cliff considering pulling you up. Yeah, you pull up. I'll pull myself up. Great. What are you doing, Fletch?

I could take the video. Squats in the corner. I'll do some squats on top. Drop some squats. I'll do some burpees. Yeah, do some burpees. Sort it. Well, this is kind of like

trying to make fitness fun. Okay. I'm listening. Yeah. This was, I think Pokemon Go was about as fun as fitness got for me.

Yeah. Because you'd just go for a walk or a run and then it would be like, oh, you put your little egg in the thing and then it would measure how far you run and the egg would hatch and you'd be like, oh, it's a bunny Charizard. Is that how it worked? I know it wasn't a Charizard. It was a Charmander that evolved into a Charmeleon that evolved into a Charizard. I'm no fool.

Yeah. Semantics. I didn't come down in the last shower. But that's how it worked. You'd put the eggs in the incubators and you'd hatch the eggs. And so it was encouraging you to walk. Are people still playing that? Yeah, I saw a group of dudes playing Pokemon Go the other day

and I slowed down and I went, Pokemon Go? And they went, yeah, and gave me thumbs up. Or you slowed your car down and yelled out the window. Pokemon Go? No, they weren't kids. A man in his 40s slowed down and yelled at some kids out of his car window. Mid-20s.

Oh, you guys, what have you got? There's some Pokemon in my car. Yeah, probably. We've got a Jigglypuff in the back seat. Get your Jigglypuffs in here. Still playing. That's wild after all this time. People are loving the Pokemon Go.

It gets you walking. Well, this one is the Run Until Challenge. My daughter actually showed me one of these last week. The Run Until. Run Until. You decide or you take a challenge from someone. You're going to run until you see a dot, dot, dot. Right.

Audience suggestion. Yeah. And so I was showing Nat Runs, who didn't invent it, but apparently has made it very popular. She's the British one. She's the British one, yeah. She's the one I follow. It's so much fun.

Run until you see a, like, golden retriever. Yeah. She just runs and then it's like British one. She's the British one, yeah. She's the one I follow. It's so much fun. Run until you see a golden retriever. She just runs and then it's like, okay. What if you don't see a golden retriever for ages? She just finds it. I'd run straight to the dog park, straight down to the park. You'll see one down there. I'd get on a bloody Uber and find one. But what if it's a Labrador?

Because sometimes, I mean, I don't want to say they all look the same. Labradors. Wow. I'm just saying a golden lab and a retriever sometimes I don't know. You've got a hair length

you've got an air difference. Yeah but I'm running. I'm like running. The Labradors are like lighter in colour as well most of the time. Golden retrievers are more golden.

With long flowing hair. I'm just saying sometimes they look the same. Wow. They don't want to be Wow. You're cancelled want to be. Wow. You're cancelled. So one of the ones she did was run until you see a polar bear.

And she was just running for ages until she sort of stuffed polar bear in the window. Oh, right. And she was like, that ticks the box for me. Okay. Otherwise, she might have to run up to the Arctic Circle. Well, that's a long run. That's a long run. Yeah.

God. She says she always carries extra food and water. And sometimes she'll just get to a point where she's exhausted. And she's like, today I fail. Today I lose. Oh, wow. Okay. I haven't seen a loss yet.

Could you, like, the run until you see hedgehog. Yeah. You could be running for days. You could see something like the hedgehog. Oh, that is a loophole. She did run until you see a hedgehog the other day. And so she just timed her run for a night time. Right.

And also you could find a squished one. Yeah, totally. I mean, that counts. Run around the New Zealand rural roads enough, you'll find a squished one. Squished hedgehog. What a good idea, but also, does she have a lot of time? Well, I think this is kind of her...

How she makes her money on her channel. What's her fitness? Her thing. And she prioritises her fitness. Right. Not like you. Not like you fitness. Right. Not like you. Not like you. Why'd you look at me?

Over there with a bloody block of chocolate and an episode of The Last of Us. He's been getting into that blondie biscuit. Don't. Don't.

I was working last night. I was working last night. I don't know why but HBO have decided nine episodes will be season one. So next week is the last episode

of The Last of Us. How is it right now Pedro Pascal is in the two biggest shows that everybody's talking about? The Mandalorian started last week and he's in The Last of Us. He's so great. Killing it in both. Did you see he got interviewed? Like he's a little bit, I read an article this morning

of like he's a little bit sick of the whole daddy thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like someone asked him an inappropriate question and he was like, I feel like I'm working harder than that. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I feel like I'm working harder than that. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I feel like I'm doing more than just like being sexy. I wondered last, when he was doing promo for, was it last August?

It was pre-Mandalorian. And someone said, I read these like thirst tweets out. And some of them were quite a lot. Yeah, that's what happened to him this week. You would never, you would never do that. You should do that to a female actor. Yeah, I know. You simply wouldn't now.

Can you read out these disgusting tweets that men have tweeted about you online? Horned up fans. Yeah. I was surprised they did it the first time, but obviously wanted to stop it from becoming a thing and stopped it. Yeah, well, we're not allowed to talk about The Last of Us because Hayley hasn't seen it. No, just today.

I'll watch it today. Play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Yes, hello. The Swiss have said, well, if you're not making it here, you can't use our mountain, the Matterhorn.

Yeah, they've got new rules that kicked in in 2017 involving Swissness. Swissness. Swissness, that's that holiday with Snannis and Alls that happens in Snissnember. We wish you a nice Swissness. Swissness. That's that holiday with snails that happens in Snissneber. We wish you a Merry Christmas. So these rules are applied to the marketing of goods from Switzerland. And because it's no longer made there, they can no longer use the image of the Matterhorn Mountain, Switzerland's iconic pyramid-shaped mountain, on its packaging.

So where is Toblerone being made now, if not in Switzerland? They apparently opened a factory in Slovenia. Slovenia? Slovenia makes Toblerone now for Mondelez, which is, I believe, that's Cadbury, right? Is that the big parent company? That's the big parent company of Cadbury

in all those. Right. Well, Slovenia's got some churches. It looks beautiful. I'd love to go to Slovenia's got some churches. It looks beautiful. I'd love to go to Slovenia. I'd love to go there one day, yeah. Love to go anywhere. But here? Just anywhere.

I thought Matterhorn was the one in the Paramount movie logo as well, but it's not. What's the one in the Paramount movie logo? It's generally agreed upon that it's a rendering of Ben Lamond, a snowy peak near Ogden, Utah. Oh, okay. Where the guy who started Paramount Pictures

operated his first... But then this guy's got his hands up. People are saying it could also be a mountain in Peru. Huh, okay. Well, the top six thoughts

on Toblerone. I'll tell you, did you know, just a side fact, following pressure from factories, Swiss army knives were told that at least 60% of production must happen in Switzerland.

Otherwise, they'd have to drop Swiss Army. What would they call them? Knives. Just knives, yeah. Foldable knives. Foldy knives. We've been letting Switzerland away with too much shit for too long. Like in World War II, they were literally in the middle of it.

Yeah. And they were like, yeah. Pick a side. No, no, no. But then weren't they going to send some aid to Ukraine? Were they?

And everyone was like, what? How very un-Swiss. Venture neutral. Wow. Do you know there's an alternative life in which I live

with a very rich man in Switzerland? What, like a sugar daddy? There was a young Swiss man who fell in love with me when I was a bit younger. Like for real? Yeah. This happened? Yeah. Tell us more about this. And he comes from a very

wealthy family and he asked me... Did they make Swiss army knives? Well, his family. Yeah, what did they do? I don't know how they were rich, but I went to their house and it was like an estate. Right. Yeah, and he wanted to fly me over from New Zealand to come to the Swiss ball.

Why didn't you go? He was too clean. He was too like... He's such a sweet boy. He was too clean. Yeah, he gave me his military dog tags, which you're not supposed to do. I've got those still. Poor Philip.

Poor Philip. Philip. Yeah. Philip. There's an alternative world in which I live In an estate In Switzerland Just out of Basel, Switzerland With a very rich man

Wow I imagine It's on the border Isn't it Basel? Yeah I imagine you'd be skiing To a bar in winter Me and Philip

Were going to the bar I'd have an accent By then as well I'm going to ski Down into France Yeah In my white ski suit And then I'm going to ski

Into Germany Yeah I always forget Where Switzerland is If you gave me a map Of Europe Yeah, in my white ski suit. And then I'm going to ski into Germany. Yeah. I always forget where Switzerland is. If you gave me a map of Europe that was just outlined and named the countries, I'd be like, um, France? Italy? I can go around the outside.

The minute I get in, no idea. I always forget. Switzerland's so low. It's just above Italy. Yeah. It's so low. Yeah. I think it should be up with the other ones, personally. I know.

It should be more snowy. It should be more Scandinavian, personally. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, don't get me wrong. I'm happy with my life. Happy with my life. Happy with my choice.

Switzerland should be Denmark. I'll say it. Yeah. Switzerland should be Denmark. Wow. Okay. I'll go on the record. Well, here's some top six thoughts on Toblerone.

Number six, Mount Taranaki is the same shape as the Matterhorn, effectively, and the same shape as the Toblerone. It's more a bit round. It's a bit more round, though, isn't it? Except, great news, new flavour options as well. Oh, yeah? Meth, ciggies, and bourbon. Yeah.

Those are three new fantastic flavours. Oh, same. The Mount Taranaki version. They all hurt the roof of your mouth as well, meth, ciggies, and bourbon. Famously do. Famously. Famously. Yeah.

Number five on the list of the top six thoughts on Toblerone. The Swedish and the Swiss are always confused for each other. Yeah. Sorry, I can just give it to the Swedish. If the Swiss are going to be like this. Yeah, okay. The Swedes. I don't think the Swedes are a fussy people.

What have they got named after them so far? What's their most well-known thing is the Swede. The Swede. The gross, hard, bitter turnip. They'll like it. Yeah. At number four on the list are the top six thoughts about this whole Toblerone thing. Change it to Mount Maunganui.

Round the top. Easier on the top of your mouth. Yeah, that'd be great. Beautiful round bit of chocolate. But the idea is, with the Peaks, is that you're meant to use your thumb and finger to push them together. To snap them. To snap them. To break them. You don't put the gap in your teeth and pry it.

Why have they left a tooth gap? It's not a tooth gap. It's a push together gap. You put it in a roof and you can't crank it like that. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six thoughts on Toblerone. It's like a beer at 10am. Toblerone and a beer at 10am.

Only acceptable to purchase at an airport. Yeah. You never buy Toblerone unless you're going through duty free. You know, it's so weird when you see Toblerone at the supermarket. You're like, what are you doing here? Get out of here. Little Toblerone. Get out of here, mini Toblerone.

Number two on the list of the top six thoughts on Toblerone. It's too hard. Even when you do snap off a triangle and you go in sideways, there's no risk of roof penetration. It's always... It's not a great chocolate, is it? I don't think it is. I think we just get excited. The white one is.

The white one is. I don't mess with the other ones. Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six thoughts on Toblerone. What about all the pubs called Matterhorns around the world? They're not Swiss. RIP Matterhorn Wellington. I know.

That was great. I missed that. Get a booth at the Matterhorn. Get a little booth at the Matterhorn. Hey, should we catch up? Where should we go? Oh, get us a booth at the Matterhorn. Get us a booth at the Matterhorn.

Am I correct in saying they used to do a pretty good pizza at the Matterhorn? Yeah, they had great food there. Yeah, they did. Pretty good food selection, didn't they? RIP. What went wrong? What went wrong? Hard to run a bloody. What went wrong? What went wrong? Hard to run a bloody...

What went wrong? I watched James McConey. Crow Goes Wild, James McConey really tried on with Jacinda Ardern at the Matterhorn and Wilder. Really tried on.

He kept saying to me, you've got to get me her number. You've got to get me her number. I'm like, this is like going back a long time ago. I think Jacinda Ardern just got back from London. Yeah. Like a long a long time ago. I think Jacinda just got back from London. Yeah.

Like a long, long time ago. Wow. Didn't work out. He shot a shot. God bless him. He's out there somewhere. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley.

Play ZM. There was a study conducted. This was done in New York. New York, New York. And it was done by younger singles, they're calling them. Younger singles, meaning your Gen Zs. And your millennials are included in there, so we're still young guys. Yeah, yeah.

Hell yeah. And what they found, it suggested that 70% of younger singles Claim that they are the reason Their past relationships fizzled out And that a lot of them Were because they self-sabotaged That they know exactly why and how To end things

So they did it consciously So 75% of men Said they believe they know exactly What they did to botch their last dates Including 46% of them looking at their phone too much. Teach you some manners. Are you saying that

they don't want this relationship that they've kind of situationed into? Yeah, and they'll just be like, ugh, I'm just not going to put much effort into it, and then it'll come to an end and they'll be like, yeah, I did that. And I don't really care. Arriving late, 39% of them said they did that and that was the reason that their relationship didn't turn out.

39% not offering to pick up the bill. I wouldn't leave someone for that. You just pay for what you get, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I only got the salad and a lemonade. You know, and he got the steak and a couple of beers. She does this all the time. She eats half my chips.

And then I have to buy all the chips. Yeah, but I'm not, if I didn't order chips, it doesn't count. You don't have to log it in MyFitnessPal. It's only on purchases. It's only,

you've got to line it up with your bank transactions as well. Okay. I don't think I've ever consciously, like people saying that I constantly,

I consciously will sabotage potential relationships or current relationships or new relationships. I don't think I've ever done that. I'm trying to think. I haven't really had that many relationships.

Like, emotional. What happened to, what about Swiss guy? Yeah, Philippe. What happened to Philippe? Did you sabotage that because he was too clean? He was in love with me, but I just wasn't in love with him. I gave him a kiss once and that was it. That was all he got.

All you gave him was a kiss and he was going to fly you to Switzerland. Yeah. Must have been some kiss. Yeah, I reckon. Got a hell of a set up. I got one hell of a pout. You could have been living in a Swiss chalet. I know.

I met his parents as well. And they were like, oh, they do, oh, Swiss. Like, oh. They'd have like champagne and cheese in the afternoons. What were they doing here? I don't want Aaron to feel bad because he's provided me also a very good life

in other ways. Yeah. Not in a chalet in Switzerland. And he's not clean. And he's not clean. And that's what I like about it. I've got a dirty boy. And that's what I like.

You wanted a dirty boy. And you got your dirty boy. Philip was, I'm just going to give a quick Google and just see where he's up. Where he's not clean. And he's not clean and that's what I like about him. I've got a dirty boy and that's what I like. You wanted a dirty boy and you've got your dirty boy. Philip was, I'm just going to give a quick Google and just see where he's up to. Oh my God, imagine if he's got like a private jet and he's got like eight chalets.

Oh. And a whole lot of Nazi gold. I'll show you. You will know. I will show you this and you will know he's the most Swiss looking man you'll ever see.

Oh, yeah. He's suave. He's so clean. He's too clean and good for you. You know what? I reckon a big thing, I could judge the sort of person you are by the sort of sunglasses you wear. Yes. Oh, really?

But I don't really. When I see sunglasses, they tell me so much about the sort of person. Really? Yeah, hell yeah. Hell yeah. Remember that time you used to wear wooden sunglasses? Yeah. What does that say? The wood. you used to wear wooden sunglasses? What does that say?

The wood. He used to wear bamboo. They were recycled bamboo. I've seen those sunglasses. Environmental, baby. Environmental. Yeah. They were a comfortable pair of sunglasses,

but I think they showed you I didn't really care. Yeah. Is that the same as people that wear service station sunglasses? Are you saying they're lesser people? Mm. I wouldn't say that. I would never say that. Right, okay.

Oh, God, look at this photo. He's posted a rosé over like a bloody... It could have been you. It could have been you. That's a light rosé. Yeah, it looks dry. It's full of a bit of a bitch. Where is he?

Port Elizabeth. That's exactly why. Scared. Is he scared of a full-flavoured rosé? He was a little bit. He would. He'd have a little bitch rosé? He was a little bit. He would. He'd have a little bit of rosé. A little white rosé.

Not even like a heavy, full-bodied rosé. I can't do this. Not a pinot noir-grade rosé. Right. It was Aaron. He's like chugging whiskies. Yeah. And that's my man.

Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little po. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Today's silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. What side of the pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

What side of the bed do you like? Left, right, I don't mind. Standing at the foot of the bed. Standing at the foot of the bed, looking at the bed. Right. Left. Left. 46% of people said left.

39% of people said right. 15, I don't mind. I just happen to be in a bed. And shouldn't we all just be happy to be in a bed? And shouldn't we just be grateful for our beds this time grateful for our bed yeah

but you wouldn't swap the other day I had a nap on Aaron's side of the bed and I was like what is happening over here but then sometimes if we're in a hotel and I'll sleep on the side

closest to the door and that's the right side and it's weird yeah sometimes I'll switch it up in a hotel you sleep closest to the door like a big protective man yeah like I'm protecting myself.

Your cat. Your cat. You go home. Yeah. Alex replied saying, Left, but I feel like there is a side the man should sleep on and a side the woman should sleep on, which changes depending on the position of the bed.

I think that sounds more... Very heteronormative. Yeah. Get those old 1950s bed views out the window. Yeah. You've got to change. This may shock you sometimes. Men love men and women love women.

It's crazy. I know it's a lot to digest. It's also incredibly hot. Where do they put their parts? They find a place. They find a place for the parts? Yeah, man. It all makes sense when it makes sense. Love.

All of that. Love can overcome anything, it turns out. Yeah. Except for global warming. Yeah, we'll all die because of that. Tash said, I don't mind whatever slide is away from the wall or the side closest to the best area to move around in, the room, e.g. the wardrobe or any of these places.

Oh, my God. Beards up against the wall. Like, we've all had a flat with the bed up against the wall. Horrible. Oh, I know., e.g. the wardrobe or any of these things. Oh my God. Bed's up against the wall. Like, we've all had a flat with the bed up against the wall. Horrible. Oh, I know. Horrible. Yeah.

You don't want that side. The head's always against the wall. Yeah. And it's so hard to make the bed. You've got to pull it out. Yeah. Yeah. It's a real mission.

You've got to reach right over and... Bit of mould, bigger than the size of an A4 paper. Bit of mould in there. Put that in your census. Stick that in your census. Oh, Hayley said, both sides because I'm in a single.

Okay. What? I sneezed. It sounded like you laughed. No, I sneezed. It sounded like you laughed at Hayley. Have you ever been in a single bed? Not since I, I got upgraded to a queen bed

quite early when I was about 11. Ooh. Massive. Okay, everybody screwing up their face. It wasn't because I was ooh-la-la.

It's because my mum always renovated houses and sold them and so it just made the room look better. Right. It had to be a double... The first room I had

when I went to uni wasn't big enough for any bed apart from a single. That was embarrassing. Yeah. You had a single bed at uni? Yeah. Yeah, I flattered enough for any bed apart from a single. That was embarrassing. Yeah. You had a single bed at uni? Yeah.

Yeah, I flattered with a girl and she had a single bed in her room. And I was like, why? And she said, I've just got all this space. It's awesome. Yeah, more room for activities. Yeah. Makes sense. Yeah.

But my bed had more room for activities. And those, at that age, are the activities you want. Those are the ones. I don't need to be doing stretches on the floor. Yeah. I like sleeping closest to the door because the husband

leaves a trip hazard on his side of the bed and I don't want to be breaking my neck going for a midnight wee says Tegan. Yeah, fair call. Yeah, that's fair, Tegan.

Sam, sleeping in separate beds is amazeballs. Once you get over the fact you don't have a separate side of the bed you can spread out. It's a game changer. It's from Sam.

Yeah. Adam says, left when lying in the bed. Not sure why.. It's a game changer. It's from Sam. Yeah. Adam says, left when lying in the bed. Not sure why. When my partner and I moved in together, we only had we'd only ever been single before, so just gravitated towards our own sides. Our side. Unless it traps my partner

against the wall, this is how we always sleep. Even if we're facing the door. Yeah. Tessa, always closest to the door. Feng shui or quick escape? Quick escape. My partner and I are that psycho couple that switch sides any night of the week.

No! But the pillows smell different. Dana. No. Dana. I want my stitch. Dana recently won an award at a farmer's competition. Did she? She did. The department store? No, no, she's a farmer's competition. Did she?

She did. The department store or the agricultural sector. No, no, she's a farmer in the agricultural sector. I imagine when they hear this, they'll renege on the award. They could do, yeah. They can't give it to a psychopath. They can't give it to a woman that just sleeps on either side of the bed willy-nilly. That is crazy to her.

Well, I hope you enjoyed that award while it lasts, Dana. It's about to be ripped from under you. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Canadian woman, which is not nice, eh? I'm really bad at Canadian accents. Oh, how about the moose? That's good. That's fine.

That's possible. That's quite good. Oh, yeah. Like that. Oh, I like a glass of milk with me dinner. Anyway, Canadian woman, she has been praised by women worldwide for a video she posted on TikTok. Yeah. Where she told the nation, told the world, in fact, that she has blocked her boss, his phone phone number from being able to contact her. Now she mentioned

I'm at home sick today from work and he has felt the need to text me about work tasks. This is something he does often and I pay about $50 each month to have a separate work phone so that he can text that phone and when I'm not at work I just turn that phone off.

She pays for that. Well I guess she probably pays to have her personal phone, right? To have them just separate. And then the work phone. So when she's not at work, the work phone goes off. Work stays at work. That's the thing. But then her boss starts texting her on her personal number.

Oh, how did he get that number? How did he get that number? It'll be in your records, I guess. Everyone's got access to your bloody phone number these days. That's why when you know work has for your number, you give them a fake one. to your bloody phone number these days. That's why when you know workhouse for your number, you give them a fake one so then they can't contact you.

Yeah. Ever. Yeah. 022-222-2274. No, put like a seven at the end so they don't think it's 022. Yeah, 022-222-227. So she blocked him.

She straight up blocked him from being actually able to text or to call her on her days off. And everyone's like, hell yeah. I mean, we don't get, like if we get a message from Ross, it's normally Goss, isn't it? So it's quite fun. You know, Aaron did say to me the other day, like,

you guys work together all morning and then chat all day. Well, I'm sorry, Aaron, that we're best friends. I'm sorry we enjoy who we work with. Our various group chats, of which I'm part of three, and there's probably some that I'm not in. Well, you're not in the no Hayley one. No, I'm not in the no Hayley one. Yeah.

But I am in the no Vaughn one. Yeah, yes. And I'm in the no Vaughn one too, which is weird. It's so weird. Because I'm Vaughn. How did he get in there? But I'm in the no Vaughan one too, which is weird. It's so weird. Because I'm Vaughan. How did he get in there? But I'm in the no Vaughan chat. But we do.

We just chat all day long. Is this why you do not disturb us yesterday? No, because I was working. I was working. She did not disturb. I'm do not disturbing for the rest of the day, she said yesterday. Made an announcement, if you will. Well, you were working.

I let you guys know. I didn't just blank. I just said I'm D&Ding for now. I'm going into Dungeons and Dragons. Do not disturb me. A lot of it is planning for the show. No, it's not. It is just riff raff.

It'll be, Vaughn, buy some trees. I am often buy some trees. There's a lot of farm chat. There's a lot of goss and farm chat. A lot of just of goss and farm chat. A lot of just sharing TikToks and Instagrams. Yeah, yeah. It is constant. Aaron was like, you guys

just talk all day. And then we talk all morning. But it's fun. It is fun. But if it was your boss constantly messaging, you would just do not disturb or block or ignore. Well, if your boss wasn't part of, yeah, like a friendly social kind of thing, and they were like, hey, I need to know where the spreadsheet is.

Hellyard block. Yesterday, a lot of them, just looking back on the chat yesterday, a lot of the chat was what Hotel Harry Styles was saying because he accidentally put that photo of him in a hotel gym. But he wasn't even in New Zealand at that stage. We later found out. He didn't land. Oh, really?

Yesterday he didn't land until like nearly 5 o'clock. It was earlier in the piece. Surely if Harry Styles was going to go to the gym today, he'd go to our gym because our gym is where the celebs go. No way he would not go to Les Mills. It's too busy. It's too busy. No, but the celebs are always there.

Have you been at the gym when even the all blacks walk in? It's always like, wow, And everyone's like asking for photos. Doesn't he tell Les Mills, douchebag personal trainer, walking up and being like, how about if you need any help, I've got a couple of programs for the week. Oh, yeah.

And then Harry Styles leaves, but he had to give his number because he's a guest. So for the next like month, Les Mills is calling him every day and being like, oh, you came in, is there any, would you be interested in coming in

for a one-on-one? I think he's like, he's a hotel gymmer. So like a Swiss ball, would you be interested in coming in for a one-on-one? I think he's like, he's a hotel gymmer. So like a Swiss ball, there'll be three weights. I'm just saying, there are a lot of people that have been questioning whether or not Harry Styles has been queerbaiting and going to the men's bathrooms at Les Mills Auckland City would prove one thing. It's a well-known spot.

Very well-known. Next on the show, we're going to... He's got a chance to prove himself, that's all I'm saying. We're going to go through your mail that you got yesterday. Oh, God. Why are people... Why can't people just leave me alone? Play it.

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. My mailbox has been busy. Really busy at the moment. I don't get any mail. I think that census letter and then the following census letter I got. My spoons that look like shovels got arrived yesterday. Are they cool? Yeah, I got mail.

They're cool. They're not like, you know. Why do you buy spoons that look like shovels again? I just think it would be fun to eat with cake with a little spade. Are these going in the drawer or are they going in a special box in the pantry? I don't think she's seen them yet. They're on the bench because I forgot. I've got the package but I forgot to open it

and then I opened it last night just before bed and I said to the girls, look at these spoons. They look like shovels and spades and they were like, those are the coolest spoons we have. Oh, hey, that's cool. That's cool.

I think they'll go in the cutlery drawer for a bit. In the main drawer? Yeah, I think they'll go in the main drawer. She's going to put them in there. She's going to relegate them to drawer two or three. Yeah, I think so. Also in there. I think they'll go in the cutlery drawer for a bit. In the main drawer? Yeah, I think they'll go in the main drawer. No, she's going to put them in there. She's going to relegate them to drawer two or three. Yeah, I think so. Also, I said last night, speaking of drawers, we've got a drawer and it's like for the kids' plates and bowls and stuff.

And they're that melamine, you know that plastic? Yeah. You have it for like camping stuff and if your kids drop it, they don't break. And I said to Shade, I reckon the kids can probably just use our chipped plates. I said, I was just thinking, because when I was cleaning out the drawers on the weekend, that's a valuable bit of real estate in the drawer community. Yeah, yeah, it is.

I could use that for implements and such. And I mean, it's like she's chipped a plate as an adult. Yeah, I know. So what does it matter? If the kids have a chip on it, and she got a bit like, and I kind of, then I thought about it, and like when your kids start using adult crockery.

It's a big scare. Are they kids anymore? Yeah. And so then I was like, and then I backed down and I got a bit emotional. And then I was like, okay, no, they can keep using those. Oh my God. They're going to start drinking bloody water out of a wine glass soon. Oh, I know.

Oh. Oh no, he's getting upset. Not about a cup. Why are you getting all teary? No, I'm not getting teary now. Oh. Oh, no, he's getting upset. Not about a cup that can be dropped. You are getting all teary. No, I'm not getting teary now. I bit yesterday. Yeah, it got me a bit.

God, the girls are going to be living at home at 18 Stewie Blade. No, you've got to have the plastic. You've got to have the plastic cups. Bedtime, bedtime, girls. Bedtime. Mum and I want to watch

the last one. No, Dad, we're going out. No, I don't think you are. Bedtime. No, you're not. I'll pick you up. I'll drop you off. I'll come.

I'll come with you. Anyway, yes, I got some not. I'll pick you up. I'll drop you off. I'll come. I'll come with you. Anyway, yes, I got some mail. I got some mail. I've got my census letters. I've got two of those. I'm going to pick which code I want to use today. I've got my water bill, which I'll pay right now. And I also got another letter.

Now, you may remember I had a New Zealand police fine recently. No, was that the council? Well, it was the end of last year. Oh, no, that was the council. That's right. That was the bus lane. No, it didn't go to the police, did it? This went to Baycorp. No, that went the council? Well, it was the end of last year. Oh, no, that was the council. That's right. That was the bus lane. No, it didn't go to the police, did it? No, that went to Baycourt, though.

To Baycourt. That went to Baycourt, yeah. I've got another fine. Great. I got an envelope and it just says, like, Hayley Jane Sproul, my address, and it doesn't, it didn't have, like, any marking on the envelope. Oh, that's when you know you're a traitor.

And I just had that pit in my stomach that I was like, what the hell is this? I always get those and I rub my finger down it, and if I can't, because that's how they send you're in trouble. And I just had that pit in my stomach that I was like, what the hell is this? I always get those and I rub my finger down it and if I can't feel it, because that's how they send you your FPOS cards and stuff as well. Yeah, you try to like feel a card. Yeah. No card, just a nice thick letter from the New Zealand police. Oh.

Are you joining the police? Another driving infringement? Yeah. On the 18th of February, 2023 at 4.34 on a Saturday. Now I've just finished marching. Okay. So you're rushing home, are you? I'm rushing home for a hard-earned wine.

And then I was like, what? As if. I have not. I didn't speed. I looked at the area. Nope, this is not me. And then it said, offence in that you drove a vehicle on this road at a place controlled

by a traffic control device, aka... Red light camera. Stoplight. Yeah. And did fail to comply with the instructions given by that device, namely a red signal in the form of an arrow.

Being an offence detected by approved vehicle surveillance equipment. You nipped around the corner, didn't you? No one was there. It's a red arrow. No, the path was clear. There was absolutely no one there. It was one of those red arrows.

I think the red arrow should be a suggestion rather than a... And having driven in America where you're allowed a free turn if you're at a stopped red light, it's like a giveaway. Yeah. It's amazing. It's so good for traffic flow. I'm sure there would be some easing into it but there was genuinely no one around and there was no cars

coming either direction and I just I did it consciously. It wasn't like it went orange and then red. I looked the red light in the eye and I thought, not today Satan and I turned. Because there was genuinely no cars there and I had no

idea that anyone would be watching. I did a little cop check. And look out for the pigs. Everybody look out for the pigs. Where are they? You say dedicated, don't you? Committed. Committed is what you say when you go through an orange light and then in the quarter of law you can say, quarter of law? Court of law

you can say, Your Honour, I said committed as I went through the orange light. Right. And you didn't look for the cameras? Well, I didn't know there were cameras. You've got to drive with Waze on. I'm telling you, Waze tells you where the red light cameras are. Because I've been in a car with Vaughn when he ran a red light. What are you dragging me into this for?

I'm just saying. Which red light was it, though? This was that morning that you'd picked me up and the road was blocked and so we looped around and then you ran a red light and went the wrong way down a one-way street. You ran through the red light too, so I don't think that's it.

But we are in an all-wheel drive utility vehicle. I don't think that counts. He drove over a boom. I think the New Zealand police do a fantastic job, the officers, upholding the law and I think you've broken the law and rightly so you have been fined. Knock! Knock!

Knock! Knock! Knock! He's an undercover cop. I'm not giving the pigs more money. Are you an undercover cop? If I ask you've got to tell me where it's entrapment. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I have. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say pigs in a very joking manner of course. I have nothing but the utmost respect for the New Zealand police.

And you'll be paying that money. It's $150. Yeah, well, then don't drive through a red light. But no one was there. That's not the point. And I'd had such a hot, long day. Very sore feet. Yeah, that's not the point.

A martini was waiting. That's not the point. Well, my apologies to the people of New Zealand, New Zealand police. And please accept my kind donation. And I'm going to pay it right now because I'm not having another Bay Cor Zealand, New Zealand police. And please accept my kind donation. And I'm going to pay it right now because I'm not having another Bay Corp issue on my head. I cannot afford two of these. She's learnt.

Has she? Find out next month. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Well, obviously Auckland is very excited. New Zealand is very excited. Tonight, Harry Styles is in town. Play ZM. Harry Styles, arguably the biggest pop star in the world. I did say the same thing about Ed Sheeran, but now I'm saying about Harry, and please don't, you know, fault me on that.

You've got to read material sometimes. You just have to at these hours. But we're always so proud to see a Kiwi with these people up there on the grand stage. Do you feel that behind you tonight when you're playing in front of a Kiwi crowd? Definitely. This has been the gig for me that when I started this job, I was like, this is going to be the gig that I'm most looking forward to.

And it's taken us four and a half years to get here. So I'm really, really excited. How did you get the job? You say since you got the job. How did you work your way in? Was it on Seek? Wow. Maybe.

Seek.com, isn't it? Or Trade Me Jobs or whatever. Yeah, it was Trade Me Jobs. It was actually find someone and then go to a job. Yeah, that works. But like for a young, you know, musician who's at school who might think,

what's the path from where I am to where she is? What's the path? Be annoyingly persistent with everything in your life. I lived in London for like nine years, just hacking away at music. And just before, I mean, I gave up a few times, but before the last time I was about to give up,

I just kind of out of the blue messaged this guy called Jonathan Wilson, who's an amazing musician and producer in America, on Instagram and said, I want to be in your band. And six months later, he was like, all right, come on tour then. And so I was on his tour and Harry's producers and a few of his friends saw me at the gig and then they just came and asked me afterwards.

It was really casual. So, I mean, one thing you're leaving out is remarkable talent because you are obviously a musician in your own right. You're not just in this band. You've got your own music. You've got a new single. You are. You play.

You sing. You play the keys. So do I. We can talk about that. What's your favorite key? Well, my favorite key is C sharp. What's your favorite key? Ooh.

I'll go C sharp with you. Hell yeah. I'm a D flat guy. It's always C sharp. Oh, no. We know your type. Yes, we do, Naomi. Yes, we do.

Are you rocking a major or a minor if we're rocking around in C sharp? Because I'm hitting C sharp minor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all about the C sharp minor. Thank you very much. Now we're on the same board here. But obviously, like, you've put in many, many hours to get to this point. It's not just like, I was here and then someone saw me and it happened.

Yeah, yeah. What's the question? The question is, are you aware that you're so talented? Cool question. More of a statement. But no, I just mean like, you would have, I'm asking like,

how many hours did you put into your music? Because a lot of people think, oh, I can't learn the guitar, it's too hard and they'll give up. But you didn't, right? You just kept learning. I was talking to some kids last night at Ponsonby Intermediate

and they kind of asked that question as well. But if you're doing something that you love you're not you don't feel like you're working away at it or stacking up hours towards it um I wake up and I I want to pick up my guitar and noodle all day rather than have a real job so that's what um encourages me to keep going with it and keep playing it um just the love of it really um what are you most looking forward to for tonight for the concert in front of this epic keep going with it and keep playing it. Just the love of it, really. What are you most looking forward to for tonight, for the concert, in front of this epic crowd?

I'm just excited to be in front of a home crowd. And I've also been dictating some bangers to go on the opening playlist as well. Ooh, okay. I'm looking forward to seeing what lands, because I don't know if what I've chosen actually is going to connect with the younger generation. Yeah, right. Because I've got a great version of the New Zealand anthem, don't I, boys? That me and Aaron just love.

We could play that as well. It's seven verses long. Yeah. Too many verses. It's all the verses, Naomi. It's too many verses. The band made me sing the national anthem in the van yesterday, about three times after we got out of the airport.

I said, oh, can we hear it again? It's one of the good ones. It is. How many shows have you done now? I think I'm on nearly 150. Oh, my God. How's the hearing? What?

No, I don't know. I mean, it's pretty loud. I wear in-ears every night, so I'm hoping I've protected them enough. But am I yelling? I don't know. No, you're also in good company. These boys are so deaf after having their headphones on for years as well. Yeah.

I'm the only one who can hear you and I think you're doing fine. That's why I wanted the camera on for your Zoom. I'm lip reading the entire thing. It's your last resort. Well, we wish you best of luck for tonight. We're watching. We're so proud. And yeah, go and check out Nao's music anywhere you find your music

these days. Thanks for joining us. No worries. Thank you for having me. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. these days. Thanks for joining us. No worries. Thank you for having me. Harry Styles, super fan. Carween, producer Carween, who has been honestly like stalking him so hard

since she knew he was in the country. And that's coming from a woman who's been stalking Jason Momoa for months now. I had someone in the country to stalk if you left out. Stalk your wife.

It'd be like a role play. Sexy. Rap, rap, rap at the door and then run away. Also, if you were talking like Hayley talks about Jason Momoa or Carl Wayne about Harry Styles, you'd be cancelled. Interesting, isn't it? Interesting, isn't it? You would be.

Everybody was all for equality. I'm not that bad. How's that working out? Feminism. Or whatever they say. This photo got sent to the group chat yesterday. It's like, Fletch, what gym is this? Like I know every single gym in the country.

You know a few. I will say, you did immediately reply, already looking. You do have a weird knowledge of what hotels look like. We literally just looked up Nio's hotel. So, okay, so we were like, I wonder where they're staying. And I looked up hotels, like all the nice ones, and then clicked on the rooms. And, oh, my God.

Trying to match your background. Do you think he's staying there as well? That's like a block from my house. You're closest. He was down the viaduct yesterday, wasn't he? That's like a block from my house. You're closest. He was down the vineyard yesterday, wasn't he? Yeah. Harry Stiles, he went for a run. Should we go hang around?

It's a bit creepy. We could go get some shit. It's a bit creepy. I'm not interested. So, wait, so you've been stalking hotel rooms. I haven't. And you've been at the airport for two hours, lest we forget.

Was he your favourite One Direction-er? Yes. Okay. So you've been Harry from day one? I was always Harry, but here's the thing. When you were that age, all your friendship group all had a boy

and someone who'd already taken Harry and I wasn't allowed Harry. Yeah. Who had Harry? You used to get Dudwan. I had Liam. I'm so sorry. Why are you a pushover?

Why did you just let Dorothy take Harry? Look. What was her name? What was her real name? What was her name? Who had Harry in your friend group? No, I'm not. Say her name.

Come on, say her name. Shame her. I'm not saying it. Proclaim now that you are claiming him. It was Katie. Yeah, I'm claiming him. Abby. Abby.

It wasn't Abby. It was Brett. It was Brett. It was Brett. No. Claim him. Claim him. Sasha.

Ashley. Grace. It was Brett. It was Brett. No. Claim him. Claim him. Sasha. Ashley. Sarah. Drive the flag of Halloween into Harry Styles and claim him now. Okay, that sounds weird. On behalf of your republic. Okay, so you weren't stalking, but you followed him on social media for like, kept like refreshing, refreshing, refreshing, refreshing. No.

So he did his classic thing, and this isn't the first time he's done it, where he posts something on his story and immediately deletes it. Like, I've got a screenshot of like two seconds ago is when he posted it. Posting notifications on. What an attention seeker. Now, everyone thinks that he does this because he has a close friend story, which a lot of celebrities do have and have accidentally posted before. So he posted himself in front of a mirror at the gym wearing a One Direction t-shirt with all their faces on it.

Have we got a photo of this? Yeah, it's in the group chat. So it was only up a few seconds. You got a screenshot. Yeah. Along with half the world. Yes, it's everywhere on the internet. He just doesn't do this for a bit of fun, does he?

To see if people will screenshot it. But surely you would know that they're going to. So you're claiming Harry Styles is useless with social media. Yeah, he has a close friend. He just hit that post instead of close friend's post. I mean, it could have been worse. It could have been. I'd be annoyed if a close friend had me on close friends

and did a gym selfie. I don't need that. I don't need to see that. What are you sending that for? But I think it was the fact he was wearing One Direction merch. Like, what a meme. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it looks cute.

Little yellow shoes on. Yeah, the gym. You've found it. You've definitely found it. No, I haven't found the gym. That was from Australia, that photo. It turns out that now, we all thought that that was New Zealand. It's not.

He was still in Australia. He didn't land here until like 4.50. But she's definitely not stalking him, guys. She wants to reiterate that what she's doing is not in any way, shape or form stalking. It's not stalking. Sort of a casual interest. Why is he not wearing any sweat-wicking gear? Is he wearing a cotton t-shirt?

Yeah, he's wearing a cotton t-shirt at the gym. Rub his nipples down to a nub. Yeah, I know. He's going to have bleeding nips. The moment you said that all these celebrities have these close friend things and they post them to their main feed, that just filled me with fear. Yeah, anxiety, right? I did it the other day.

It wasn't something terrible, but I think it was something more personal than I would have wanted to share. And I just go, like, my story. And I'm like, oh, no, my close friends. Do you have a close friend? I think I do. Interesting. Do you have a close friend? I think I do. Interesting. Do you have a close friend?

I never post on it. I never post on it though. I feel like a lot of New Zealanders don't because they're like, oh wow, close friend am I? No, because you know me, I'm an open book. I'll share with the whole nation what I'll share with my close friends. But I've had a friend do this Snapchat. I think I've told this story before.

Remember, she had a few drinks and got home, took a nude selfie, sent it to me on Snapchat. I woke up in the middle of the night with a very dusty head and I was like, what the hell is this? Jesus! She's keeping it tight, but She meant to send it to a potential Oh, wow. To her boyfriend. Well, that's the thing. It's one accidental click, isn't it? And you're sharing it.

I think we need to hear some of your embarrassing stories, humble listeners, of when you've accidentally posted something. And you're up there with the best. Harry Styles does it all the time, apparently. Absolutely. I mean, it would just be like, even when you're clicking through your photos, trying to do a story, if you're doing a series of stories, it'd be very easy to get a partial nude. I took a photo the other day.

I keep trying to show photos. I took a photo the other day of the roof of my mouth because I was trying to see if my teeth were still straight. That is an incredible photo. I was trying to see how did you were still straight. That is an incredible photo. I was trying to see how did my teeth are straight. Selfie cam? Selfie cam in the mouth. Oh, like that.

That's really good. And then I can see that, yep, my teeth are still straight. Wow. Just wanted to make sure. But that would be quite full on on social media. Yeah, but it's not like it's not a nude or anything. Accidentally posting a nude. Well, unless my nude mouth.

Unless nostrils are your thing. Well, yeah, that's true. You could just look at that and it looks like something else. We want you to text us now 9696 0800 dials at M is the number. When did you accidentally post something you weren't supposed to? To the story.

To the story, to the chat, to the group message. Yeah. I think out of anyone here, Producer Jared's the one that most unsends messages, right? He unsends messages all the time. Remember that time he said goodnight, love you? To the group chat? Yeah. He's always

doing it. Love you too, JP. So we want to know from you this morning. Whether you've posted something accidentally, you know, like an accidental upload to Snapchat or to the stories, maybe something, a little TMI or something just for one particular person because Harry Styles has done a gym selfie and then deleted it, basically.

And apparently he does this all the time. Yeah, apparently. But we are beating gym selfies, are we not? We are. Kate, good morning. What did you accidentally post? Good morning. I didn't post, but I'm a teacher and I was scrolling through my photos to try and find a particular photo,

and then went past all my birth photos. Your birth photos. And how close did the lens get to the action? Oh, it was right on there. Yeah, I mean, it's a beautiful thing to watch, I will say, but maybe not for everyone. Yeah, and definitely not for 11, 12 and 13-year-olds. Yeah, I tell you what, though, thank you for your work in keeping teen pregnancy down.

Single-handedly. Single-handedly. Thank you, Kate. Another Kate. Kate 2, what did you accidentally post? This must be a Kate thing. Yeah, well, it's also birth-related, but I don't think it's quite as bad. I sent my mum a photo right after my baby was born, and she replied and said, oh, congratulations.

It's so lovely, but maybe don't send that photo to anyone else. So I had a closer look, and in the edge of the photo, all my bits. Like, I still have my legs in the stirrups. And there was literally a spotlight on this down there. And that's posted for all to see, okay. I mean, it's fine to see to a mum, but... Yeah. What do you mean there was a spotlight on it?

Was it like at the dentist, you know, where the dentist pulls down the light? Yeah, man. They pull around the light to get in there. If they need to get involved. Yeah, well, yeah, because I had an obstetrician, so if they have to do any kind of intervention, like have the suction or whatever,

they have to have a big light. Good Lord, the ingrowings. A bit of a heat lamp. Yeah. Yeah, and also keep the chips warm. Yeah. Or the server can bring them out to the table. Keep her in the warmer until she's ready.

Thank you, Kate. Cam, what did you accidentally post? It wasn't me, but it was my cousin. So we've got two group chats, two family group chats, one with just the cousins and one with all of our aunts and uncles and grandparents. God, I couldn't imagine anything worse than that. It's out of necessity, I tell you.

Okay. But so we've got a gay cousin who accidentally uploaded a photo of him and his boyfriend on a very romantic picnic date to the wrong group chat and outed himself to his very conservative parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Wow. In a way that's almost... Sweet release. Yeah. I mean, at least it wasn't...

Honestly, that would have been a lot worse. At least it wasn't an X-rated photo.... Sweet release, yeah. I honestly thought it could have been a lot worse. At least it wasn't an X-rated photo. Hey Nana, I'm gay and here's me proving it. Cam, thank you. Some messages in. I sent a boob shot to my husband, and thought it was my husband posted to the story, didn't know I'd done it,

until my brother called me at lunchtime and called me a hussy. Your brother saw your boobies. No. I took a selfie in the toilet saying poo time and sent it to my sister but posted it to Snap Stories. Didn't know until someone said, I think you sent this to the wrong person. Oh, I love that. Poo time.

I was MC at an event and I was flirty with the much younger sound guy. Okay. So that he would be responsive when I needed a microphone instead of a... Yeah, right. Older gal needs a microphone. I had his number so I could text him during the event when I needed the microphone.

I later texted my husband to come down to the event and bring a few drinks, winky face. An hour later, I thought, how rude, my husband hasn't replied. I texted the sound guy. Come on down and bring a few drinks Oh my god And that microphone Oh baby

Somebody said That they Accidentally uploaded a Booby pic to their Instagram story when it was supposed to be like a direct Message to somebody I don't know how they did that.

I was absolutely going off with my kids one afternoon but my youngest who wasn't getting told off was on my phone and opened up Facebook and went on Facebook Live. Oh for God's sake.

So posted you having a tanty. About the kids and then at the end of it explaining to them that I was angry with them because I'd had a terrible day at work. And then I started slandering

everybody at work with who I'm friends with on Facebook who saw the live. Don't give your kids your phone. Yeah. That's the golden rule. The worst. Lock it all up. No, no, no, no, no. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Well yesterday

Sade forwarded me a message on Messenger. It just came through saying photo and it took ages to load. I was like, what's this? It was a message she received from one of the teachers at school. Right. I was like, uh-oh. Hi, Sade, how are you guys? A teacher aide at school wants to give August four passes

to the QMU show this weekend as they were having a chat about it and she had some tickets to give away because this teacher aid's on the board. Right. Is this like the big A&P show? The big A&P. It's massive. Oh, I hope I get to go on Sunday.

So she said they were having a chat about the QMU show and August said that the dad will talk about it on the radio. The dad's going to talk about it on the radio? Dad's going to talk about it on the radio. The dad's going to talk about it on the radio. Dad's going to talk about it on the radio. How about some freebies? Now I'm proud because she's hustling. She's hustling. Wow.

Your daughter is a mini you. She's a mini me. Wow. She's a hustler. It's the 100th year of the QMU show and they're wondering if they could do a big push for tickets. So August has promised some advertising here. So she got the family some free tickets

and here I am paying my debt saying this weekend is the 100th QMU show. It's a wonderful event. There's livestock. There's sort of

a great little taste. Of course there'll be candy floss, you fool. There'll be a real taste of rural life. There's rides, of course there's rides. The Sizzler?

Will the Sizzler be there? I don't know if the Sizzler will be there. Usually McMahon's Entertainment. Yeah, right. The car's rides. The Sizzler? Will the Sizzler be there? I don't know if the Sizzler will be there. Usually McMahons Entertainment. Yeah, right. The carny rides. The carny rides.

The carny sauce. There'll be some carny sauce on some hot dogs. I'm literally messaging Aaron. Kimu, rides, hot dogs. Sunday. So, okay, your daughter promised radio advertising, which she has no authority to be doing that. Free promotion.

People, to promote their events or their wares on the station, they pay money. They pay good money. Well, apparently August said, yeah, we'll take the tickets. Dad will talk about it on the radio. He does this sort of stuff all the time for free. She's not wrong, baby. She's not wrong. for free things. She's not wrong, baby. She's not wrong.

Not that wrong. She's not wrong, baby. Can't help but feel like there might be another couple of There might be another couple of tickets in there, I think.

What would you Maybe I sold the Cumi show because they said it was a real taste of rural lifestyle with some rides and some carny sauce and stuff.

But I mean, if you want free tickets, you're probably going to sell do some selling. Okay. I'll be there. You don't promote yourself as being there. You're not even there. I some selling. Okay. I'll be there. You can't promote yourself as being there. You're not even there. I will have a stall

and I am the free ticket. You're a stall? I'm a stall. A kissing booth. In this day and age. 2023 kissing booth. Me and Fletch will both be there. Still a lot of people dying every week from COVID. I don't think they want that. I don't have it. I've got the vax. I had the vax about a year

ago, so I'm alright. You're fine. Yeah, no, I'm good. No. I don't have it. I've got the vax. I had the vax about a year ago, so I'm all right. You're fine. Yeah, no, I'm good. No, I really want to go. Yeah, it's fine. I love this stuff. This is Aaron. Aaron's literally said, oh, my God, yay.

And then he's asked, is there a car we can beat up? Because that's Aaron's favorite. Oh, I remember at school galas back in the day, and you'd pay 50 cents or a dollar. You wouldn't be able to do it nowadays. It's too dangerous. It was insane. And you've got a hammer or a sledgehammer and you beat up a car. Yeah.

This is when Aaron proposed to me and we started dreaming about what our wedding might look like. He was like, let's do a carnival, like an old school A&P show. I love that. And he said, as long as there is a car we can beat up and a car with a carpet attached to the tow bar, just driving around the field with kids on it like, yeah. That would be fun. Because that's what they had in Pukekohe.

Oh my God, we're going to go. This is great. I'll be sending your daughter a bill for the radio advertising. The invoice. Do we have to pay tax on this? And she'll have to pay tax. Yeah, she will. Fringe benefit tax for hustling.

But if we're there the whole weekend, is it going to be like, yay, we're here. Hashtag gifted. Hashtag paid partnership. Nah. Nah. Nah. Vaughan didn gifted. Hashtag paid partnership. Nah. Nah. Nah. Vaughan didn't do that for Rainbow's End.

Nah. Nah. Nah. Nah. He definitely paid for 10 kids to go to Rainbow's End. Yeah. Mr. Generous. Mr. Generous.

Nah. Yeah, so generous. So generous. Next on the show, it's Census Day today. Everyone has to do this. Yeah. Because it helps The government

I don't know What does it help them Know how much mould We've got in our house Apparently It just lets them know How mouldy we are And how gay we are

Basically Yeah As a nation And if you're a homosexual Block of cheese A boy A boy Yeah

Wow A homosexual blue van Yeah So much mould So much So much gay You are trouble. However, yes, I was very excited that it's Census Day

and I talked to Aaron about it this morning and I don't know, my alarm bells are going off. Oh! ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Merry Census Day! This is an exciting day, a chance for you to let... Let your you to let Chris Hipkins know you exist, I guess. So the government use all these statistics to kind of plan for the future. So that's why it's so important that we do it.

Yeah, that's basically like, who are our people and how can we make our country for them? It's so much fun. I'm one of the one million people that have already done the census. A lot of people have done it early. I did mine in the eight o'clock break. Yeah, it doesn't take long. It literally took me not that long. I was quite underwhelmed.

Like, do you know what I mean? Like the questions. You wanted more juice. I know. I think there are like 50 questions, but it didn't seem like that many. It was very easy and quick online. Because they're not difficult questions, not things you're like, oh, I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Maybe because we've grown up with BuzzFeed quizzes. Yeah. And at the end it's like, you're Rachel, and I'm like, thanks. No, it does ask you. It sort of sends us, you want to be told who you are. Yeah, which Friends character. No, I just think. Or what cocktail you are.

Yeah, but it's such a great opportunity to get so many stats about New Zealanders, and I just felt the questions were a bit meh. We could have asked more. Ask more. The general questions are about you, yeah not even really about health. The one that got me was like, oh do you smoke? Not vape or e-cigarettes. But like why

not ask about e-cigarettes and vapes because it's such a problem. Wouldn't you want to know how many people have gone from ciggies to vapes? Like just stuff like that, I'm like surely that's such a problem. Like, wouldn't you want to know how many people have gone from ciggies to vapes? Like, just stuff like that. I'm like, surely that's a lost opportunity. Or if you just started on vapes. Yeah, exactly.

Versus not going from ciggies to vapes. Or even like recreational drug taking. I mean, this is like a very anonymous thing. Surely people would want to know stats like that. Like, what are people doing out there? How much do you drink? Well, yeah, you can tell that. You're peeing out your party pills.

And the question about how much, do you have mould bigger than an A4 paper? That was sad. That's a sad question. Yeah, I guess it's a big concern for our old houses in New Zealand. Anyway, so I've done my census. Great news for exit mould, though.

So good. Although that's just a bleach. Exit mould. I use exit mould to get stains out of my T-shirt sometimes. No, that's a bleach. No, you can't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a white T-shirt sometimes. No, that's a... No, you can't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a white T-shirt. You go...

Give it a little bit of water. Gone. Because people are like, oh, vinegar works better. I tend to disagree. Exit mould your bathroom, shut the door and walk away and come back and spray the whole thing down later. Nah, or close the door and stay in. Woo!

That's how the last of us starts. Bad exit mould headache. It's not good. That's another thing's how the last of us starts. I've had a bad exit mould headache. It's not good. That's another thing. On the last of us zombies, did they try exit mould? I don't know. They did, idiots. It could have been one episode.

Yeah. They come out and they're like. Zombies. Gone, done. Yeah, but then it wouldn't be the hit TV show that it is. It would be a movie. It would be a movie. It was a one hour movie. So, but then it wouldn't be the hit TV show that it is. It would be a movie. It would be a movie.

Just a one-hour movie. So, yeah, I've done my census. I have registered the household because I am the master of the house. And I said to Aaron when I left this morning, oh, no, it was last night, I said, we're going to do the census tomorrow. And he was like, do we? I was like, yeah. He said, how do we do it?

I run the house. I do the admin. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. He's done a census before though. Yeah, he's done it. But he didn't know like whether we got papers or, you know, I'd check the mailbox. And you've got the code. And I've got the code.

And I said, we've got a code and I've got to set up the household and then we can do it. And he said, oh, great. And I know he's got a really busy day today. So I said, I'll just fill yours out. I know everything about the guy. I know everything about his health and his stance and his... Mould. You know his mould.

I know his mould status. Yeah, you know it. Better than most. And I think I know everything about his health and his stance and his... Mould? You know his mould? I know his mould status. Better than most. And I think I know his sexual orientation. Though I don't know if he knows what I ticked. I wonder how many people would be like, with a partner, would be ticking bisexual or something when their girlfriend doesn't

know? We were wondering this day, people just like hovering over a box like, do I do it now or what are we doing? What are the options for sexuality? It was straight, gay, lesbian, gay slash lesbian. Dabble. Bisexual, dabble. After four pals. After four pals was one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. After four pals. Only in college was one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After four pals. Only in college was one. Yeah. And then it was like other. So they didn't say like pansexual, asexual, all the sexuals. I don't believe they ticked every LGBTQIA plus box. However, you know, I said to Aaron, I was like,

I'll just do yours for you because it's nice and easy and I'll have the thing open and I'll be doing it and he was like oh no no no no i'll do it and i was like why it's it's super easy i can just finish it for you no no it's fine i know how i'll do it do i get my own code or do you just do you have can you see the thing and i was like no i can't access your form but oh my god he's gonna say he's got two girlfriends what's happening is he gonna say he's got two girls is he gonna say he's got two girlfriends What's happening? Is he going to say he's got two girlfriends? Is he going to say he's got two kids? Because you do that was another question

Or is he going to say he's a staunch Roman Catholic? Or it'll come to how much money he earns and he's got a secret Oh my He's got an escape fund He's got an escape fund

Because you do you tick a box Or is he going to tick bisexual? Is he going to tick bisexual Catholic rich boy Yeah with two kids out there Yeah

that you don't know about. And then it'll say like, is this your main household? Our address? He'll be like, no. Where does he go? Where does he go at night? I think if anyone's out at night,

it's you. Aaron doesn't have the ability to even dream of an affair. But I just was like, what are you afraid of? Why doesn't he? But maybe he just wants the fun of filling it out. I think he does. Everyone likes to fill out a form. They're good fun.

What a hoot. He's a wild boy. Man, I love, man, I don't know about you guys listening, but man, I love forms. I know you. I do, I love a form. I love, I love, man, woo, hold me back, forms. Can you get in once he's done it? I don't think you can. As the done it? I don't think you can.

As the household person? I don't think you can. I think it's like once it's done, it's submitted, it's submitted. Right. I don't think I can go back into my own one. And neither do I want to. I'm not that kind of person. But it is weird that I don't know the pin code to his phone.

It is weird, isn't it? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day. Watch this, okay? Watch this. This is a This is a

Sort of a TED talk If you will Yeah On broadcasting Okay We're doing From a master We're doing

From a master It's a master class Oh let me sit back It is We are now about to embark On a much loved feature Of the show Fact of the day

Kids sing the jingle Some people hate the jingle But they're back to tell me They hate the jingle So they're still here. Yeah. They hate listening. Master class.

And that's fine. Because they're, you know, I take it. The kids, they sing the jingle. Oh, check out my little kids singing the jingle. Much loved part of the show. Now, another very important part of broadcasting is making money. Yeah, right. Okay.

We're going to make money. How do we make money every day? Well. The show sponsor. Yeah, show sponsor. Yeah, show sponsor. And the show sponsor is? McCafe. You watch this.

Okay. Because today's fact of the day is about McDonald's. Oh. Thank you. Thank you, McCafe. Watch this. Wait, is this a fact they're going to like? They're going to love it.

Okay. It's a little bit of McDonald's history. Oh, okay. It's about the golden arches. Or should I say golden arch? What? The original McDonald's didn't have. McDonald's.

So they had buildings. Yep. With a flat roof. But they said it didn't look like big and grand enough. So they had one big golden arch with McDonald's holding the sign. Yep. Now, it wasn't until later that Ray Kroc, that clever, that Michael Keaton.

Yes. Oh, that was a great movie. And there was one at each end of the McDonald's. Yep. And he was driving and he's like, huh, from this angle it looks like an M. Oh, okay. We should make that our logo.

The golden arch that we're kind of known of, the golden arch is, two of them, looks like an M. McDonald's becomes synonymous. People are already familiar with the big golden arch. Yeah. An attention-grabbing sign holder. Yeah. And now the rest is history.

But there are still single- arch McDonald's that exist. They're kind of like mid-century buildings, eh? Yeah. The big arches. These are single arched McDonald's paying homage to the original arch. But I've got a photo here. This is no good for anybody listening at home, but if you imagine a big arch like the end of a barn,

that's what was established to hold the sign. And that's what he saw, one at each end of the McDonald's forming an M. Amazing. And he was like, we should make that. Trademarked it. Bingo. Of course, now if you see a big golden M, it could be nobody else. Exactly.

What if they had the arches, but the place was called Ronald's? And it wouldn't have made sense. It would have never worked because the M is irrelevant. It's just sort of... It's all fallen into place. It's all just clicked into place, isn't it? It's a very happy coincidence. Wow. Hold for applause. Thank you. Masterclass there.

For both you and McDonald's. Everybody, a masterclass all around. So today's fact of the day is the McDonald's Big M started life. Everybody, a masterclass all around. So today's fact of the day is the McDonald's Big M started life out as one single golden arch. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM.

Well, Harry Styles tonight at Mount Smart Stadium. The box office will open at midday, 2.30 for the VIP early check-in, but gates don't open until 5 o'clock. Show starts at 6.30, but he's probably not going to be on stage. They won't say what time. You'd imagine sometime between 8 and 9. But that hasn't stopped people lining up all ready for the show. I know.

So, Brooke, you're in line. I am, I am. How long have you been there for? I got here at probably just before 6.30 this morning. And believe it or not, I was late to the party because there's been girls who have been here since 4. I wouldn't want my teenage

daughter hanging out at Penrose at 4 in the morning. No. Oh my god. All those truck drivers. There's a lot of questionable warehousing out there. So what are you just wanting to get as close to the stage as possible? Yeah, I think

that's the aim of the game for them to be in the front so they don't have to do as much pushing and grafting later on. Are there any adult nappies, Brooke? Yeah, I think so. People have really brought supplies. One girl I was talking to said that she got paralysed the first time she heard as it was.

She got what? She got paralysed. Physically, she got paralysed. She couldn't heard As It Was. She got what? She got paralysed. Physically, she got paralysed. She couldn't move. Why? By a song. She felt like she died. By a song. Right, okay.

Okay. Wow. Wow, he just has a power over women, doesn't he? Yeah, it's going to smell like wheeze in the front row tonight. It's going to be so wheezy in that pit. You don't start lining up at four and then just nip to the toilet. Well, that's because they're paralysed and they don't know that they're not weeing. Right, okay. When they hear the toilet. Well, that's because they're paralysed and they don't know that they're not weeing. Right, okay.

When they hear the song. Yeah. Jeepers. Would your parents have taken you somewhere four in the morning? No. No, neither. How old are these people that have been there since four o'clock in the morning, Brooke? I'd say they're mid-teens, late 20s.

Wow, okay. Well, that's the thing. When you've left home, you do what you want. You can go to a concert at four in the morning and line up. Yeah, I did line up for a couple of hours in the sunshine before Good Charlotte in 2004. I wanted to be quite close to the front, but that wasn't as big a crowd.

Yeah. That was at the town hall. Probably could have just gone when they opened the doors and just pushed to the front. Just walked on out. All right, Brooke, thank you. Good luck. Have a long day ahead.

Long day ahead for you. Keep hydrated. Thank you. No, but if you keep hydrated, then you've got a wee more. Keep hydrated. Get some diapers. Good luck.

It's a horrible cycle. Good luck with that. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. There was a couple who were on a trip and they did what all couples do, is you go for a little snorkel. Don't you? You have a little snorkel.

You take the boat out, go to the reef, and you'll get out, and you're just like five minutes. I've known this, and I count myself as a blessed individual to have done this on the Great Barrier Reef. And I said, what, a toidal? Yeah. This is when I did it with you. You did it too. You got real seasick.

Oh my god, on the boat there on the way back. It's like two hours to get to the reef. Yeah. It's a long way. Two hours in this one. Paul Vaughan. Very close to giving the reef a bit of burly. Last time I went

snorkelling was in Bali. Did you go to Bali, did you? I went to Bali last year. Interesting. Yeah, about July last year. That's the first you've mentioned. Yeah, I know. I had a great time.

Bali's a great holiday destination. But I got caught in a rip. I got pulled out. Did you? Yeah. That's good. No, ride the rip if you've got the snorkel on. Get out further and see the good stuff.

It was full on. Yeah, I did see some good stuff. Relax. And then swim to the side. This couple were in Hawaii. And they were using a Hawaii-based tour company, went snorkeling and then,

you know how you're under and they like guide you a bit but then they leave you to just do your own thing and have a look around for a bit. Yeah. And then they came to the surface

and they're like, where's our boat? They left. They just left them in the ocean. They abandoned them in the middle of the ocean while they were snorkeling

and this couple had to swim all the way back to shore. So it was quite a lot. There was 42 of them. See, that's too many. That's how you're going to lose people. But you would think if you ran a tour, any kind of diving, snorkelling tour, you would do a head count before you leave, right?

Yeah. Well, they were kind of given a roundabout time of how long they were going to spend there, and then they were trying to get back to their boat, but the water started getting a bit choppy. Oh, they swam too far from the boat. Yeah, they went too far. They never swam too far from the boat. And I always say to the people, don't you leave without me? Yeah. Like that. And so they're always like,

where's the guy that said don't leave without him? Yeah. Well, they left, and they literally had to swim for a long time. I'm trying to find out how far it was. It was a bit of a while. And this is in Hawaii, well, they left and they literally had to swim for a long time, trying to find out how far it was. It was a bit of a while. And this is in Hawaii, right, you said? Yeah, well, there's lawyers involved now. Yeah, I was going to say, they'll be suing. Yeah.

So the nearest land was the island of Lani. And they had told people not to let the snorkelers get too close to that land because there was some shallow reefs. They can cut you to pieces. But they had to. And they were fatigued and dehydrated when they arrived. They were scared. It took them a long time to get there.

I mean, this is a very scary version of being left behind. But I wanted to know when you were left behind. If you were ever left, like I remember going. Families with like eight kids do this all the time. Yeah, but they're just trying to thin the pack. Yeah. I would too if I had eight kids. It happened to me one Christmas.

It was terrifying. You got left at a service station. No, I got left at home and got burgled. Boy, oh boy, did I get those burglars. You're quite the booby trapper though, aren't you? I'm trying to think if I ever got left behind anywhere. I remember my mum used to work for a real estate agent and at the back was this dodgy toilet

and I was busting to wee. And I went in there and mum was like, okay, go in there and go for a wee. And then I came out and I was stuck in the main door of the thing. And she'd left, she'd gone back into the work to deal with something. For a moment I thought I was abandoned.

So your tale of I've been abandoned is your mother was 10 metres away. Dude, it would have been like 15, 20. It would have been 15 to 20 metres. Wow, tough, tough. I was in tears. I was in tears. I think probably peed my leggings or something like that.

Well, we want to take calls now. 0800 DALS at M9696. Maybe this happened, you left a kid behind or you were that kid that was left behind. Yeah, or a friend's trip and you're popping into a gas station for a mummy and then the car's gone. Or the tour group, they leave you behind. kid that was left behind? Yeah, or a friend's trip and you're popping into a gas station in front of me and then the car's gone. Or the tour group, they leave you behind. When were you left behind?

We're hearing some wild stories of when you have been left behind, like some snorkelers in Hawaii were left behind, had to swim back to shore. I mean sharks. You'd just be thinking sharks the whole time. My number one thought in my head would be sharks. Olivia, when were you left behind? So I'm from a family of nine children.

I'm sorry. I'm happy for you. I don't know how to feel about that. Did you have a minivan? Yeah, we actually did. We call it the Queen Bee van. Wow. Where do you sit in the line-up of the nine?

The second youngest. The oldest is like 41. Oh, okay. And how old are you at the second youngest? I'm 23. Okay. And the youngest is 19. They weren't mucking around. No, they weren't. No. They had five and six years.

Wow. Was it one of those situations where the 41-year-old, the one that's 41-year-old now, has had a baby that's older than the 19-year-old, the one that's 41 now, has had a baby that's older than the 19-year-old? No, none of us have had children. Probably because you've already had your fill. I think we've put off, to be honest with you. Yeah, you're like, yeah. Been around too many of them.

Yeah. But my mum, she left us at the supermarket all the time. It wasn't, it was a reoccurring thing. But she one time left my brother in one of those, like, trolleys with the red car at the front. Oh, yeah, the little, like, rides. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah.

And my brother was, he's autistic, so he was, like, real interested in the, like, the beeping horn thing and the up and down things. He was just all over it. Yeah. And we left him in there and went home. We live an hour and 40 minutes away from the supermarket

because we live in a Watt Watt. We were six children already in the car. My mum just didn't even realise. There's so many of you. You're a gaggle at that point. Yeah. We went back like two and a half, three hours later,

four hours later or something and he was still there. Didn't know our phone number. Mum had to call up the supermarket and be like, did I leave my kid here? And he's just like, I didn't just leave my purse or my handbag. It was my child. Yeah. You're like child. I mean, he was so fascinated

by this car he maybe didn't notice. Yeah, I can't imagine the person who found him like, hey kid, you alright?

In your mum's defence, she got in and it probably just sounded loud and enough kids were there. Yeah. Yeah. And all the seats

were filled, majority. I thought you would have a numbering system. Yeah, well. Yeah, although would you find it quite, majority. I thought you would have a numbering system. Yeah, well... Number off. Yeah, although would you find it quite funny if your brother was left behind?

100%. Yeah, you wouldn't say anything. I wouldn't say anything. More food for you at dinner then. Not smart enough to use protection, not smart enough to use a bloody numbering system, are they? Yeah.

Condoms, schmondoms. Why not have nine siblings? Olivia, thank you for sharing. I'll send messages in to finish. I decided to hide from my mum as a joke between the big stacks of toilet paper at Pack and Save. But then mum got distracted by shopping and then forgot that I even went with her shopping

and went home without me and I was still there in between the big stacks of toilet paper at Pack and Save. That'll teach you. I once thought that would be a great place to hide behind the big sugar or the big toilet rolls. You ever been in there? What do you mean?

I've only been in there. Back behind? Well, there's the like pallets of stuff. Well, no, but you always, yeah, but you see there's a gap. Yeah. But I've never gone behind. As a kid, I'd always go in there. I haven't been in there for a little while.

The sugar was the worst because there was always sugar all over the floor. Yeah, there was. Yeah. And if you were rocking a bare foot, as only a child can in a suit. Yeah. Gritty. Very gritty and then it gets stuck to your feet. But I always used to dream as a child, hide behind there and then when everything's shut

up, go get a free reign of the pick and max. Then go back to sleep behind the sugar and then just walk out in the morning. Yeah. A fat little tubby boy. With a wild headache because all you know is lollies and drunk fizzy drink all night. I was seven and I got left at Rainbow's End on a school trip. Fun. Same thing.

You just want to stay there all night. Yeah, it's on the teacher though, isn't it? Number off. Just log flume all night. Yeah. Log flume. Just going to sleep in a log flume. I think they turned it off.

I turned it back on. Nah, it's just a button. Power back up the log flume. Lots of they turned it off. Oh, he turned it back on. It's just a button. Power back up the log flume. Lots of people getting left behind. In fact, this has put me off snorkeling trips altogether. Are you saying this is a big thing on snorkeling trips? Quite a few people have messaged in.

It happened to them too. Someone said, it happened to us, but it was only in Rarotonga in the lagoon. So they just like swam to the beach and then walked down the road in a half. Got back and were like you left me behind. Yeah, mum and dad saying are you guys ready to go

and then they'd get ready jump in the car and leave and one of the kids would just be stuck at home and then they'd be like oh well we'll go back and get them later and then just go out for dinner

and come back later. Kids are very self-sufficient these days. They'll work it out. They'll be fine. They'll work it out. Great work be fine. They'll work it out. Great work, guys. 10 out of 10 if I say so myself.

I'll do a 9.6. Is that enough for you to review this podcast with a high rating and then tell all your friends? You sound very insincere. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.