ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 7th November 2022

Episode Date: November 6, 2022

Bad News  Shrimp Men  Top 6: Celeb Spreads  Quick Engagements  Were you in a cult?  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Great barista made coffee on the go. That's where you'd go if you wanted, like, a coffee. If you wanted a good coffee. A good coffee.

However, producer Jared is a new coffee drinker. Yep. So, what took you, oh, this was because you wanted to lay off the reddy bees. Yeah, um, I haven't had any issues with my teeth, but I started thinking maybe I might, so The middie's a

dental assistant. Yeah. So she was already on them. Was she telling you off every time you had a sugary drink? She gave me a look. Oh! There was definitely a look. Has she got you in for any free dentistry? I've had some heavily discounted dentistry. Oh, that's good.

Yeah, that was pretty sweet. Dentistry famously expensive. Yeah, deservedly so, though. They work bloody hard. When we say he went on a coffee journey, he started with canned cold coffee. My boss coffee. Your boss coffee. They went straight through me so i had to strike them off strike them off the list yeah um then i switched to

sachets of mochaccino coffees you're like a little snigger in the background you're like a boomer what is that one that parents jarrah yeah jarrah those littleets. My father-in-law has Avalanche because it's sugar-free. Yes. Avalanche, sugar-free. That makes you crap yourself because they've got artificial sweetness in them. They tear through you.

And then this morning you're trying something new and you're quite proud and you said, hey guys, I'm trying a new coffee this morning. Yeah, a new type of mochaccina. A Milky Bar mochaccina? Oh my God. Like the brand Milky milky bar yeah the white chocolate and so who made this you pour this you pour the sachet into a cup and add water yeah hot water i did a little little of milk right and it's got it's a milky bar flavor white chocolate which let's let's not even i don't i can't even go there it's a white chocolate bar flavour, white chocolate, which let's not even, I can't even go there.

It's a white chocolate mocha. White chocolate is chocolate. White chocolate's not a chocolate. Mocha's not a coffee. White chocolate's not a chocolate. It smells delightful. Dude, it does a nice smell. It smells like paint thinner.

What's the sugar in this? Because I don't think you're doing any better than... Yes. The sugar's on the box, which is in the pantry. I just bring the sachets. I've got Google. I don't need to worry about that. Wait, so this was a...

I thought this was a spare of the moment purchase. This was purchased as part of the weekly shop, was it? A spare of the moment weekly shop purchase. Okay, no, sorry. That's per 100 grams. It's got 25.6 grams of sugar. Per 100 grams. Per serve.

A serve? Yeah. Okay, divide that by four, because that's how many teaspoons. Wait a minute, what did you say? 25.6. Grams per serve, and how much is a serve? I don't know, one sachet. You're telling me there's 25 grams of sugar in that sachet?

Yeah. Which would have been no more than 25 grams. It is sugar. I've just looked at the Red Bull sugar content. Yeah. Which would have been no more than 25 grams. Right. It is sugar. I've just looked at the Red Bull sugar content. Yeah. 10 grams of sugar. Per can.

Yeah. Dude. Dude. My dude. Back to the ready bees. Maybe. Oh, God. Good luck to your guts, honestly.

Play Zedding, Splidge, Vaughn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Two minutes past six. Happy Monday. Happy Monday to you. No.

Stop. I don't like it. Have you gone for a new watch face? No, this is the watch face I always have. Oh, no, I only saw the hands. I thought you'd change. I thought maybe you'd... He's a new man after the weekend.

Yeah, I thought you were a new man after the weekend. No, I do. How do you change your watch face? I've got one. I don't know, but you always go for the hands, and I find that weird. Because it's, yeah, it's a digital watch. Yeah.

Yeah. This is the one I like. It's too much effort. I've got this one that tells me what moon we're currently having, and we're having a waxing gibbous. Did you see the bloody waxing gibbous this morning? No, I didn't see the waxing gibbous this morning. It was huge.

It was huge and low. Huge waxing gibbous. An absolute mammoth of the waxing gibbous this one. Oh my God, huge. It was huge and low. Huge waxing gibbous. An absolute mammoth of a waxing gibbous. I've got this one for when I'm near the ocean. Okay. It'll tell me the local high tide time. Oh, that would be actually quite handy in summer. Yeah.

Well, that waxing gibbous will be influencing the tides, won't it? Oh, of course it will be. Of course it will be. And everyone's menstrual cycles. They're going absolutely nuts. Why don't you go digital time? Like, having hands is too... You've got a digital watch.

I like that. I can tell you in seconds. 603 in 36 seconds. Yeah, Lake and Nugget see that in that same amount of time too. Yeah, but it takes so much time. You've got to look at it and work it out.

I don't have to work it out. I just look at it and see what's happening here. Next, you're going to be reading a bloody book. I go old school. Ridiculous. I like to feel the paper's happening here. Next, you're going to be reading a bloody book. I go old school. Ridiculous. I like to feel the paper between my fingers.

I think you're going to say I go tablet. Like an actual chiseled tablet. Oh, yeah. Stone tablet. Yeah. Well, today on the show, we are six days away from Friday Jams Live, Western Spring Stadium, this Sunday. This,, Western Springs Stadium this Sunday. This, this, this

Sunday. Can't get COVID this week, can we? Well, you probably won't. Well, I won't. Well, I better not. Yeah, back to back. That'll be a bit cruel. Back to back COVID. Someone did message me when I was away saying they got it four weeks later. They knew someone that got it four weeks later. Yeah, it's crazy, eh? Crazy, but yeah, normally

I think you've got a bit of immunity. A little bit. I lasted six months from when I last had it in March. So we've got Friday Jams tickets, a VIP experience, thanks to Samsung and Spark. All you've got to do is when you hear a Macklemore song today on the show, call up. So be listening for Macklemore

for the VIP Friday Jams live experience, all thanks to Samsung and Spark. I'm so excited. I mean, this is easy competition. 0800 dials at M when you hear Macklemore on the show today. The top six is coming up. Elton John's got his own Marmite.

Celebrity Marmite. What the bloody hell's going on now? Is their Marmite. Celebrity Marmite? The bloody hell's going on now. So is their Marmite the same as ours? No, it's like liquid. Have you tried British Marmite? No. It's like runny. You know how ours is like a paste?

Tacky, yeah. Theirs is like the consistency of like maple syrup. Oh, no. Yeah, it's not on. No, no, no, no, no. Also, I watched a TikTok where it said, look at this word, and it was Yosemite, like the national park. And then it said, so what is this word?

And it was Vegemite. And she went, Vegemite. Yes. That is forever how I will call. Vegemite. Vegemite. Vegemite on toast. Do you do marmimity or vegemity?

I'm a vegemity girl. I'm a marmimity. Are you a marmimity? Marmmity. Vegemity. Vegemity on toast. Do you do marmemity or vegemity? I'm a vegemity girl. I'm a marmemity. Are you a marmemity? Marmemity, wow. Alden John's got his own marmemity. So I've got the top six other celebrity spreads that we want, nay need. Alright, coming up in the top six next.

I want to talk about one in seven people they're afraid of sharing this thing about themselves. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. I want to talk about one in seven people they're afraid of sharing this thing about themselves. Well, if you are a single human being, as in you are not in a relationship. Oh, I thought you meant just a one-pack. Yeah, just a one-pack. Just a one-pack human being. A non-conjoined.

Yeah, I suppose I'm a four-pack. What are you? Why are you four-pack? Well, I've got a family, don't I? We're a four-pack. What are you? Why are you a four-pack? I've got a family, don't I? We're a four-pack. We're like a posh yoghurt. Yeah. You don't get six, do you?

You only get four. Yeah, I get four. I'm a posh yoghurt. I'm a dairy food. You could just be a four-pack of, like, Red Bull. Yeah. I want to be yoghurt. I want to be yoghurt because we're joined and you clack us apart

clack clack clack wow I hope you don't get clacked apart no me neither that's called divorce yeah that's what divorce is

not for individual resale that's how you'll announce your divorce is we're clacking apart we're clacking apart we're consciously unclackling we are available for individual resale

well if you are single one in seven of you will be afraid of sharing what turns you on. Your kink. Oh, okay. Afraid of being kink shamed. Right. Whereas 85% of people in a relationship, absolutely happy to share with their partner.

I want to know what those other 15% are into. Yeah, I know. The ones that are with their partner and just can't bring it up. Can't quite. I wonder if like today we should do something like crazy. I don't know.

Like, I don't know. What could we do? Because I don't know. Maybe you put this on and we'll knock on the door and we'll just see what happens. Put that on. Of course, you're joking, aren't you?

Yeah, no, no, no. No, for a laugh. For a laugh. No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, because it's Halloween. If laugh. No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, because it's Halloween.

If it's for a laugh, just dress up. We'll just see what happens. So, yeah, people are afraid of being king-champion. I would have thought in this day and age. Haven't we seen it all, know it all? Well, people are pretty open, aren't they? Yeah, God, yeah. It's all over the websites.

Go on. For example. Like what? I think BuzzFeed does an article or two on kinks. Yeah. Surely NZ Herald's got a kink section, do we? I don't actually. No, I don't think we do.

Is it in the premium section? Yeah, it's premium. You've got to pay $1.29 a week for it. I tell you what, people would sign up. I suppose, I wonder if this though, if you're single, I guess maybe you just don't get around to telling people. And how soon into a relationship do you bring something like that in? I mean, I guess it depends on the level of the severity. The intensity.

Yeah, the intensity of it. I don't know how you bring it up I know that you know I feel like that would be a good conversation with

our resident sexologist Morgan Penn how to bring up that you like to wear a diaper and be fed fed a bottle is that right

is that one no I'm just saying for example picking from the as an old wooden ship and you're Captain Cook and you ride the ship yeah you ride the ship

yeah okay to the new world. Would you just stand astride them and look out with a telescope? I'm not here to tell you how to do it. Or what to use as a telescope either. That could be a bit of a fun. Oh, right. Siri had an opinion then.

I just closed my ass. Siri's like, what, reopen your bookmarked kinks? Yeah, yeah. No, Siri, shush. Not now, Siri. Siri, shush, shush, shush. I reckon just share it. Wow.

How bad can it be? I suppose it could be terrible, couldn't it? It could be terrible. You know, at least I guess if you get it out in the open soon in the relationship, you're not wasting all that time, you know, if they're not into it. Yeah, exactly. I mean, especially as you say,

if the severity of it is at a high level, you're going to want to know. Like if you want to dress up as Captain Cook. You're talking like kinks are a make or break. I just always thought kinks were the icing on the cake for people. Well, yeah, I guess so. Like there's the base, right? You're having your cake.

But then you're like, well, I want a bit of icing. Yeah, but if I found out you wanted to dress up like Captain Cook and go and hang out in a boat, I'd be like, this guy isn't for me. But that would be a break. Like you're with someone. It's all working. You need to open your mind. Do you want to be with Vaughn

when he's dressed like Captain Cook in the back of a boat? Clothes to the idea. And his sexy knickers. I'll give everything a go once. My knickerbockers.

I wear my at sea knickerbockers. You're at sea looking for a country to call another. And I'm riddled with scurvy. Riddled with scurvy.

I mean it's up to you. I always I didn't know the kink would be a break. I thought it was just a little bitvy. I mean, it's up to you. I didn't know the kink would be a break. I thought it was just a little bit more. I mean, I guess it depends. But then the kink could be like next level. Yeah, that would probably be a break for some people and not for others. I don't know.

Yeah, it's fascinating, isn't it? Yeah. I think you've got to be open. You had the idea in that relationship when they wanted to dress up as a porpoise. Dolphins. Big dolphin energy. Well, you wanted them to come around and submarine you or Captain Cockpockets. Yeah, I know.

That's why I said when I heard about it, I was like, they could circle the endeavour. We could combine. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the yummy ZM think tank, this is the top six. Ah! Spanner in the works. What's the spanner? Spanner in the works.

Sir Elton has launched the Rocketman Marmite. Yum. And all I knew was it looks pretty cool. It's Marmite with a caricature of the Rocket Man himself. A rocket shooting up there. Very phallic. Just moments ago, you were like, oh, God, are times tough? Yeah.

He's raising money for his charity, the Elton John AIDS Foundation. Fantastic. Yeah, he's raising lots of money. Sorry, Elton. So I had the top six of the celebrity spreads we need, nay demand, but now... I didn't know I was raising money for such an important cause. Right.

So now I feel bad for making light of it. I don't want to get cancelled on this day, this Monday. Yeah, right. Monday the 7th of November, 2022. Good sense of day, Monday. Are you marking the date You got cancelled Yeah

Oh wow It's just a It's a floating appointment Yeah Recurring Recurring in the IACL daily Yeah

So I'm gonna have to Chuck a charity On the end of these people's Okay Yeah right good For the list Literally Just found out

Top six other celebrity spreads We need nay demand. Number six, Helen Hunt's honey. Oh, yeah, yum. Did you just choose Helen Hunt because of the alliteration? Oh, you very early picked up on the theme of this. Good, okay. How it worked was, here's how the sausage was made.

I googled types of spread, and I found six. So I put them in there. Yeah. And then I found, I googled celebrities whose first name starts with the same letter as their last name. Oh my God, you're revealing your tools. And then I literally just found letters that matched the spreads and I put them on and then what they're raising money for in the end is just going to be absolutely on the fly. It's like I'm in the sizzler factory. You! Look at the sizzler! Look at the sizzler factory and I'm seeing how sizzler is amazing.

Look at the sizzler. Not an animal inside. My mother-in-law went to Costco on Friday and she purchased pre-cooked sausages and then she's like, I bought some pre-cooked

sausages for the barbecue tonight and I looked at her and I was like, shut up word. And we walked down the other end of the house and I said, your mother is never

to bring pre-cooked sausages into this house. Oh, you're such a meat snob. Ooh, yuck. I haven't had a pre-cooked sausage for ages and I bit into one and it was like,

bleh. Ooh, we had, ooh, we had our vegetarian friend around for dinner last night. Oh yeah, those vegetarian. And we had a barbecue. See, the vegetarian sausages are yuck.

Oh my God, they were square. So we had our lovely pork from the Aussie butcher, lovely pork sausages on one grill and on the other we had these like squared moose tubes. Oh, yeah. Moose tubes, crayons.

I'm bringing around sizzlers next time we have a barbecue. No, they're not going on my barbecue. You bring around sizzlers in your bloody mummy farelli's garlic bread. We had mama fiorelli's last night. Hey, mama fiorelli's trash. She's a moving shame. Oh, my God, it was so good. It is great garlic bread. We don so good. I do the Italian people.

It is great garlic bread. We don't have an oven at the moment, so we microwaved it and then gave a little sear on the barbecue. Why don't you just put it on the barbecue? Don't microwave it. Just roll it around on the barbecue. The barbecue was too hot. It was just burning it. I wanted to make sure the inside was cooked. Yeah, good.

Yum. Turn the barbecue's heat down. Don't bring the microwave. Microwaving mum for relish. The Italians are rolling in their graves. Sorry, Mama. Sorry, Mama. Hey, I don't say sorry to me.

I say sorry to Papa John's. You bring... And number five on the list of the top six other celebrity spreads I know. Very fatiguing for someone that has a recurring cancellation. Yeah, I know. Number five on the list of the top six other celebrity spreads I know. Very cheeky for someone that has a recurring cancellation. Yeah, I know. Number five on the list of the top six other celebrity spreads we need. Madonna's margarine. Can we just have a quick side tangent of how Madonna's going off the rails at the moment?

Jeepers, that last TikTok she did. Was she sniffing amulet the other day? Sniffing amulet. She's sniffing amulet. And then she's like. Yeah, she's seen someone over? She's doing poppers. And she's like, she's got, yeah, she's seen someone over to Madonna's house.

Yeah. What are poppers? Yeah, Hayley, what are they? What is amyl? I don't know, what are poppers?

I'll tell you, a friend told me once, I'd never heard of it. I was in my 30s and I found out what amyl nitrate is. You don't, sniff it,

but you can sniff it. Yeah, it's like a leather cleaner or something. I don't know what it's initial purpose is. It's very, very naughty. they've just made it harder to get it. Yeah, it's like a leather cleaner or something. I don't know what its initial purpose is. It's very, very naughty. Yeah, they've just made it harder to get to.

And it makes you say I love you to people. Yeah, for like 60 seconds. And then it's gone. And relaxes your bum hole. Number four on the list of the top six other celebrity spreads we need. No demand. Pink's pate. Oh, yeah, okay.

Pink's putting her name on a pate. She's raising funds for fat geese Okay great Yummy Number three on the list Of the top six other celebrity spreads We need A Barack Obama's butter

Oh yeah beautiful Raising money for Something grass Yeah Number two on the list Of the top six other celebrity spreads We need No demand

Joe Jonas' jam. Oh, yeah. Good alliteration. What kind of jams are you rocking there? All of your main berries. Strawberry. Raspberry. Apricot's my favourite.

I love apricot jam. Yum. I haven't had jam. Oh, I haven't had jam in so long. Okay. And if Alden John can have his Marmite, the number one on the list of the top six other celebrity spreads, we need nay demand Vince Vaughn's Vegemite.

Yes. The superior yeasty spread. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Some linguists, some linguists at Brigham Young University have released their research into how people want bad news delivered. So how do you... Was it what you just did?

You take a pause and say, well, kind of like take it down a gear. It's over. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's over. Well, like say you're breaking up with me, Hayley. Yeah. How would you do it?

You gone. It's over? Yeah, I would do It's over to break that after two years. I've never dumped anyone. I wouldn't know what to do. I'd send a cowardly text and just be like. Yeah, everybody says it should be face to face until they have to do it. Until they have to do it. But would you, you would normally, you would pad it, right?

You'd start with. It's a shit sandwich. Yeah. You'd do the management classic shit sandwich. You'd do a good, good, bad, good. A good, good, bad, good. You know, I've really loved the last two years. We've had the most amazing times.

We really have. But, you know, we've grown apart. It's not you, it's me. I'm sorry. I think we should break up. Out. Out. And end with good?

And end, but, you know, you are really lovely. Yeah. You'll find someone so nice. So we're back together. You've got to leave no room for uncertainty., you are really lovely. Yeah. You're playing someone so nice. So we're back together. You've got to leave no room for uncertainty. He thinks I'm lovely. Yes. We're back together. We're back together. No.

So they researched people and gave them scenarios and it turns out that people want a very concise and short and clear band-id rip. Yeah, they just want the bad news. Nan's dead.

Nan's dead. Hi, Mum. Nan's dead. Big pud? Yeah. Oh, sorry. Fletch told everybody they just want bad news. Band-Aid rip.

Wait, what? So they gave volunteers different versions, and yeah, it came down to clarity and directness were more important than how considerate the message was. And people do this to make themselves feel better. Yeah. They don't want to hurt other people's feelings. So they pad these messages, and they go on, and they go on,

and then they give the bad. You can. You know what's coming. When I'm receiving bad news and someone's padding, I'm like, oh, God. Oh, God. I'm the same. Just tell me. Yeah.

Don't fluff it for me. So, yeah, that's, I mean, maybe not Nans dead. I love rip it off like a Band-Aid. Yeah, maybe not. But how would you deliver Nans dead? Hey, Vaughn, how are you? I'm good. How are you?

Oh, not so good, mate. I've got a bit of bad news for you. Oh, no. What's happened? Nans dead. That's pretty much exactly how my dad told me my Nana died. What are you doing? I'm just out for a run.

Everything all right? Nah, no. Well, yeah. I mean, it's all right. Why? What's happened? Nana's passed away. I was just like, yeah.

That's how it happened. Yeah, right. Well, he didn't pad too much. No, he just kind of got to it. Yeah. I mean, it's good because otherwise what an awkward conversation. Yeah. What are you doing?

I'm not for a run. What are you doing? Oh, just a bit of weeding. Yeah, just, oh, I probably have to start planning a funeral. Beg your pardon? A bit stressed today. Yeah. What?

And then they get to it Yeah Getting nearly Rip it off Yeah And it's like the breakup thing Don't leave any room For them to be

No no We're still together No we're not I told you We're over But you also said I was lovely Yeah

Why would you leave me If I was lovely I take that back I take that back You're awful Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. This is terrible.

You know, I'm always here with the dating terms. Your flags, your ghostings, your frostings, your... Submarining. Submarinings. Yep. Well, now there's a new term. It's brutal. It is not.

It is basically the butterface for the Gen Z generation. Okay. The paper bag. Yeah. Okay. Do you remember butterface? Butterface was... Yeah, good body butterface. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, now there's a new term called shrimp guy. Shrimp guy. So you don't want to be called a shrimp guy. You don't want to new term called shrimp guy. Shrimp guy. So you don't want to be called a shrimp guy. You don't want to be called a shrimp guy. When I heard about shrimp guy, I was like, what could it mean? What could it mean?

Now it makes sense, but it's absolutely terrible. There's no nice way of saying it. A shrimp guy is a man whose body is very attractive, but his face is not. Like a shrimp, you can't eat the head. You pop the head off and the body's delicious. And the body's delicious. You simply cannot stomach the head. Isn't this terrible?

Shrimp guy. But I mean, at least you've got a great body. At least you've got a great body. Yeah. It's terrible. And anyway, a lot of dating experts are like, because you know with these terms, they're usually about a way of sort of dating in a healthy way.

And then lots of dating experts are now like, if you use terms like shrimp guy, which is so funny to me, you will seriously hinder, if not kill, your chances of finding a partner and a real connection. Yes, exactly. Because? They could have a shrimpy face and be so lovely. Is that what you're saying?

Don't say shrimpy face. Well, the hot bod. I mean, there's that silver lining in this. What about the hot bod? Let's talk more about this hot bod. I mean, there's a silver lining in this. What about the hot bod? Let's talk more about this hot bod. You know? Yeah, but it's more about this face. It's more about what's inside, though, isn't it?

It's more about what's inside. Thank you, Flickr. Oh, okay. That's interesting. It's what's inside the hot bod. Yeah. It always helps when the outside's good. You know?

No one wants the poorly wrapped Christmas present. But if you're, but if you're going around on your dating apps and you're going, shrimp face, you know, what is it?

Shrimp guy, shrimp guy, shrimp guy, But the idea is you can still enjoy the shrimp guy, right? Yes. Shrimp faces deserve love too.

Now I'm just imagining this like hot bod dude with an actual shrimp head. We were talking about kinks earlier. Maybe that's your kink. Shrimp men. Put a shrimp face on. Crustacean men.

Well, look, there's no such thing as a shrimp guy. If you've been called a shrimp guy, please know at least you've got a hot bod. At least, yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Today's fact of the day is why the dumbbell is called the dumbbell. Your thoughts, please.

Oh, okay. Dumb bell. Because if you try to use it as a bell, it's pretty dumb. It doesn't make a noise. Yeah, I'm going to go with that. Great, that's a great answer. Shaking it, that's a dumbbell. That is a dumbbell.

Mm, no. Um, because, I don't know It's actually like Now that I think about it It's It's Almost A little bit problematic

Oh Oh dear That it's called the dumbbell Is this your fourth Cancelling of the morning This is I'm I'm rocking for a half does

Before nine Wow Okay I really want the rest Of the week off I thought a mild cancellation Might take care of it. No, the dumbbell is called this because in England,

when you were learning to be the town bell ringer, which is like there'd be a bell tower. Yeah. And it would be controlled by a rope at the bottom. Yeah. And you'd pull the rope. Yeah. And you'd set off the bell.

When you were learning to do it, when you were practicing to do it, they took the ding-donger out of the bell and they would ring it. And when it didn't make a noise, it was called dumb because that was what, like if you've heard deaf, blind, and dumb, the dumb part is mute now or, you know, unable to speak, non-vocal, non-verbal. There's words for it now that aren't dumb because that's problematic to say it. So when you were learning to do that, you were called a non-verbal. There's words for it now that aren't dumb because that's problematic to say it.

So when you were learning to do that, you were called a dumbbeller because you were learning to ring the bell without the bell actually making any sound. Right. And so then they, that was the exercise to do. And then people started doing it for fitness,

like pulling a rope down and working. And then they were like, well, why are we pulling a rope? We could just hold it and twist the arm, do the weights. Yeah. And it'll be called the dumbbell because the people that use them were dumbbellers. Wow. That makes sense.

Yeah. And so they'd use it to, and then they'd have like the dumbbell at home to practice to build the same muscles that you'd need to pull the bell ringing without actually having to like, you know. I'm imagining it would be quite a hassle to go up the bell tower and take the little thing out of the bell. When was this? Did they have protes?

Did they have protein shakes? It was like in England a thousand years ago. So no protein shakes? No, well, I don't know. How were they getting their protes after, bro? Well, I don't know. Just, what, cheese? Yeah, right.

Some meat, some cheese. Some meat selection, maybe. Yeah, because it was quite an important job, so you'd obviously want them to be ripped. Yeah. You'd want them to be the town hunk. Keto. Everyone would hear the ding, dong, ding, dong.

They'd just be like out of bed getting changed. Try to catch a look at the hottie on the way home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.. Try to catch a look at the hottie on the way home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming. Absolutely ripped. Yeah, yeah. A little bit of a look at the hottie. Jacked.

So today's fact of the day is the dumbbell that you are probably just thinking about absolutely doing some bicep curls. Curls. Yeah, bro. Some curls with right now is named after the people that used to practice ringing bells. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. So, confusion. Rebel Wilson, of course, it was only, it was this year, right,

that she said, I'm gay and this is my girlfriend and we're in love. What's her name? Ramona. Ramona Agrumah. Rebel Wilson, this is the daughter of the volleyball, is it? No, no, no. She's her own Wilson. She's her own, okay.

Is she that... He didn't have any grandchildren because he floated off to sea. Oh, I think he floated to another land and that's where he met his lovely wife. Right. Procreated. Oh, could be. Could be. The niece of the guy over the fence.

No, it's a the fence. No. Is that different Wilson there? Not that Wilson. No, no. Her own Wilson. Actually, Jeff Wilson's daughter. Jeff Wilson. Yeah. Yeah.

So apparently. Pretty hard out when your name's Goldie because of your golden hair and then it all falls out. Yeah. Yeah. As a fellow. You're not allowed to say anything, but as a bald brother. I guess I am. I guess I'm falling out. Oh, yeah. Okay. fellow that's, you're not allowed to say anything but as a ball brother. I guess I am, I guess I'm falling out.

Oh yeah, okay but that's. Ah but it's still my tokenism. You know because I pumped my own blood back into it remember? Yeah. Yeah that's right you did do that. Anyway so apparently over the weekend they were at a Halloween event and they were sharing news with fellow party goers

that they were engaged. They were making out in the corner. Who's switching? Yeah, I know, PDA. Keep it for the boudoir. And they said that it happened a couple of weeks ago that Rebel Wilson popped the question and that they were going to get married like anytime soon. And everyone thought, wow, that's really quick.

Seven months they've been together, I think. Seven months. Thought it was really quick. But now Rebel Wilson said, no, we's really quick. Seven months they've been together, I think. Seven months. Thought it was really quick. But now Rebel Wilson said, no, we're not engaged. So I don't know what the confusion is. She said, thanks for all the well wishes, but we're not engaged. But now it sounds like maybe they are engaged. Now they're sort of like a secret wedding.

Yeah. You know, a private affair. Yeah, right. I don't want to tar all lesbians with the same brush. Tar away. Tar away. Tar away. They do tend to rush these things. Good Lord, they move fast.

Do they? Oh. I didn't know. One date and then what's the old joke? What did the lesbian bring to the second date? A U-Haul. A U-Haul with all this stuff inside? Yeah.

I feel like you should make that joke more like New Zealand because we don't have U-Haul here. You are. What did the lesbian bring to the second date? A BP hire trailer. That's what I was going to say, the petrol station hire trailer't have U-Haul here. You were. I wanted the least remembering of the second date. A BP hire trailer. That's what I was going to say, the petrol station hire trailer with all this stuff inside. Yes, of course. Yeah.

Well, she said that, no, we're not engaged, but thanks for the well wishes anyway. But anyway, I was like seven months. Yeah. I got engaged coming up four years ago. And in total, you've been together now 12 years. 12 years. Yeah, and I'm waiting. Still waiting, are you?

Yeah. So I want to know how quickly did you get engaged? Are you one of those people that's like six weeks and we're getting married? Well, and some people do and they're still together and they're happy as Larry. Absolutely. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. But you know. But it is a great story.

Wise men say only fools rush in. Very wise words. Thank you. Are they your words? Yeah. Are they? What else do wise men say? That I just can't help falling in love with you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's for off-air. Okay, right. But I want to know, if you were one of these people that just hooned in, did it work out? Yeah. Are you still together? Or were you like, yeah, that was a dumb thing to do to get engaged on the second week?

And maybe you look back and you're not together now. Yeah, maybe you look back and you're not together now. Well, maybe you are, though. I love hearing the stories either way. When you know, you know. Yeah. All right, well, 0800-DARLES-AT-M is the number to call us. You can text as well, 9696.

How quickly did you get engaged? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, rumours this weekend swirled that Rebel Wilson got engaged. She's come out saying that she didn't, but everyone originally was like, gosh, it's quite quick, isn't it? And as Vaughn, Vaughn, you had a sort of a blanket statement about lesbians?

Yes, I did. On a whole. Have any lesbians objected to that statement? No lesbian objection That sweeping generalisation Well you know I'm a pillar of the community Well I know that lesbians

Sort of an honorary lesbian If you like Yes But I didn't know That that was a thing That lesbians rushed into things They do Really?

Well As much as anyway And then spend way longer Trying to get out of it Yeah Right Yes Okay So we wanted to know How quickly you got engaged As much as anyway. And then spend way longer trying to get out of it. Yeah. Right. Okay.

So we wanted to know how quickly you got engaged. Was it a swift romance that just, you know, swept you off your feet and you thought, this is the one, here we go. Because Rebel Wilson, they've been together seven months, but then it turns out that they're not engaged. Well, that's what she said. Yeah, that's what she's playing.

Here we go. Sarah's exactly, I just read this text. Sarah's on the phone to tell us this story. Your mum put an ad in the paper. Yep, she sure did. What for? Just looking for a boyfriend. And dad wrote her a really cute letter back.

And then six months later, they were married. What? What did the ad say? Like, looking for a boyfriend? They've definitely got a copy of the ad, right? It's in their wedding album. Oh. So what?

What did it say? Was mum struggling with men? I'm not sure. I think she's just trying something different and she just put it in the paper and she's still got a copy of dad's letter and all his spelling mistakes and really messy writing. Oh, he was a thicko.

He was a done-done thicko, but Lord, she's a good boy in need. So what... Yeah, it's a 30... Sorry. Oh, no, yeah, that was my question

is how long ago was this? So they've been married for 35 years now and they actually got married on the very first lotto draw. So you always know how long they've been married for.

Because lotto's like it's our birthday. Like mum and dad's anniversary's coming up has anybody got anything planned? That is so cute. Yeah.

I'd love to know what the ad said. Me too. Because maybe we could use that in Tinder bios if it worked that well. Yeah, do you know what the ad said?

I can't remember but it's, yeah. I can probably get them to stick it out. Yeah, do you know what the ad said? I can't remember, but it's, yeah, I can probably get them to take it out of the way. Well, what a beautiful story. Yeah, really is. Sarah, thank you for sharing. Donna, did you have a quick engagement marriage? Engagement marriage? Yeah, we met in about December,

moved in together in March, got engaged in August and the following year we got married in August. Okay. Jeez Louise. Wow. You moved at a speedy pace. Yeah, in the space of a year, married. Yeah. And still together?

Yeah, we've been together 23 years. Oh, I know. See, you know, you know, you know, you know. You know, you know, you know, you know. You know, you know, you know, you know. You know, you know. Did anybody at the time say, hey, hey, slow down here? Yeah, any haters? Yeah, family were a bit like, is this really what should be happening?

But yeah, I mean, we were older, so. Right. Okay. Wow. Wow, amazing. They just wanted her out of the house. Donna, thanks for your call. Jacob, how quick were you engaged?

Hey, good morning Three months Wow, okay, so you know you know Did you propose or were you proposed to? I proposed in Starbucks In Starbucks? Oh my God, you little romantic you Wow So what, are you still together now?

Yeah, we have. It's been 11 years. What drink were you getting? I don't even think I got a drink. It was a grande frappe, wasn't it? You went into Starbucks not for the purpose of getting a drink, to propose. Why Starbucks?

Is there some sort of cute, romantic reason for that? I don't know. I think she got a soy latte. Oh, right. Okay. We just had our 11th year And we both forgot it Oh right well the romance is alive then And Starbucks is alive

Amazing still together In three months engaged Jacob thanks you Cool yeah amazing Some messages in I met my ex Here we go And then moved in three weeks later

Popped the question at the six month mark. All that lasted six and a half years. In the ex category though. Yeah, right. But people who that's not, the texts tend to be like, we rushed into it and we're still together because people that rushed into it

and then they're probably not likely to share their stories are they? No, that's true. Engaged seven months after our first date. Married seven weeks later. Not a shotgun wedding, though. Sweat face. Sounds like there might have been a little baby on the way. And just celebrated our 10-year anniversary.

It's fun going back. This is what I discovered quite a bit on Ancestry.com. Yeah. You could see someone got married and then less than nine months later they had their first child and you were like, oh, I see. Oh, I see. Yeah. Oh, I see.

Yeah. See what's happening there. And then they were like, oh, no, the baby, you know, it was conceived on the wedding night and it was born premature. It was 10 pound. Yeah. It was the biggest baby I've ever seen. Yeah.

It was a fully formed toddler by the time it came out. Yeah. Don't tell me that it was a premature baby conceived on the wedding night. My parents met and got married within three weeks, and they got their 50th anniversary this week. Oh, that's cute. That's amazing. They did, like, after World War, like they did in the earlier days,

didn't they? Especially after the war, they didn't mess around. Life's short. You could be sniped by a Nazi at any moment. At any moment. Or an Italian fasc short. Yeah. Life's short. He could be sniped by a Nazi at any moment. At any moment. Or an Italian fascist. Yeah. Or a Japanese soldier.

Just thinking of the Nazis weren't the only enemies in World War II. Oh, I know. Yes, I know. Yeah, they did. Wow, first he's coming for lesbians. Now he's supporting the Nazis. I'm calling it 7th of November 2022. Big difference.

Big difference. Big difference November 2022. Big difference. Big difference. Wow. Big difference. Not a Nazi sympathiser. Not even on their side. Vermintly opposed to Nazism in all its forms. Why are you crossing your fingers behind your back?

What is this? What is this? Wow. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Okay. This is doing the rounds on TikTok because a woman shared an article she had found from a scientist who said that you should be binning, getting rid of your undies every six to 12 months. Six months?

No. Six months. I haven't even purchased underwear in probably I don't think I've purchased any underwear this side of the pandemic. I have. I'm rocking pre-panty panties. Yeah. Wow. Pre-panty panties. I will

just, I mean I've got, you know my good undies. Yes. And then I've got my, you know, just your standard ones. But I'll just keep going until they get holes in them. This is what most people were responding, saying I literally will wear mine until they're like threadbare or they've got a hole in them or a rip in them or they don't fit anymore maybe.

Yeah. I just went and did a big, when I say big undie purchase, I mean both. I bought a lot and I bought big undies. I love a. Big granny panties. I love a waist to almost thigh. Wow. I love a big undies. I love a... Big granny panties. I love a waist to almost thigh.

I love a big undie. Okay. Wow. Yeah, if I ever got caught out and I had to... Someone even saw my undies, they'd be like, damn. I can dig it. Those are some Bridget Jones panties. You've got to be comfy. I love it. Do they look like you're drying your parachute on the

washing line? I can't. Life's too short to be picking my undies out of my the washing line? Oh, I can't. Life's too short to be pickin' my undies out of my bum all day. Yeah, I get that. It's good, yeah. Little cheeky weekies. G-strings are gross. They touch the butthole. They get right up in there.

They just smear themselves into you. Yeah, they do. It's too much. You know those wire cheese cutters where you get a block of cheese and you run it across? That's what the G-string's doing to you. It's cheese slicing. Yeah.

Don't slice my cheese. Gross. Say it to't slice my cheese. Gross. Save it for that woman's cheese. A doctor said that underwear can take in a lot of dead skin as well as bacteria. Even washing them in a washing machine won't always rid it completely of bacteria such as E. coli. What about like

those little, you know, you can put a cap full of that germ stuff in your liquid in your dispenser of that germ stuff in your dispenser? What germ stuff? You mean vinegar? No, there's like a... Oh! Yeah.

Yeah, we had this like a bacteria kind of wash thing. Aaron used to do it when he was like big into the gym. And he'd wash his gym clothes with like a... Yeah, and you put a cap in and it sprinkles it through your laundry. It kills 99.9% of germs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bleach? Is it bleach?

No, it's not bleach. Bleach your undies. It's not bleaching your clothes. But if you had tidy whities, you could bleach them, eh? Or does that affect the old pH balance and give you a bit of the old? Thrushy-washy. Yeah, but then you're going to have a band, and that's probably going to be a different colour as well.

Yeah, I know. You don't want to be bleaching that. No. No, you can't bleach. I want to know more about this bacteria killer you're talking about. It's like laundry sanitiser. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then they also say, like,

maybe replace your knickers at least once a year, though more frequently used underwear like gym undies you'd want to get rid of quicker. There you go. Dethol do one. And there's an Earthwise one. Wow. There you go.

And you just put a cap full in. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. And that kills the smell that might be hanging around from previous... Just kills anything in your laundry. In your knickers. Yeah.

Gotcha. Well, yeah. I mean, I've got like your old favourites. Yeah. And I'll never get rid of them. No. They're almost embarrassing, you know. Because I don't mind spending a bit more on undies because I know they last long.

Yeah. But you wouldn't want to spend money on like some Calvins or whatever and then some doctor saying chuck them out after six months. No way. If your crotch is so out of balance that it is burning through your undies at a rapid rate of six months, there's something wrong with your crotch, not your undies. Well, that's a problem Vaughan does have because you burn your crotch

and your jeans out, don't you? I just pop the crotch. It's a bit of acidic gooch there. Bit acidic, yeah. It slowly weakens the stitching in the gooch and then it pops right open, but not on the undies. You need to get yourself some pH ointment. Some ointment?

You get that acid right down. Does it neutralise it? Yeah. Is it bringing the acid down so you're having an alkaline base? I don't know. That'd cause a fizz, like a vinegar with baking soda. Yeah, like a bicarb fizz. Maybe there is a market for people with acidic gooch.

That would be a thing. You know how baking soda can do everything? Yeah. That would probably work in the washing. Putting a bit of baking soda in your washer. I don't know. You may be. You can put vinegar in.

But don't go dipping your gooch in some vinegar. It's not good. Coming up on the show before 8 o'clock, we're going to play a Macklemore song. It's your chance to get the VIP treatment and watch Macklemore live at Friday Jams this Sunday. All thanks to Samsung and Spark. You've got to be the first caller through when that Macklemore song plays.

And joining us on the phone before 8 o'clock, Stacey Fleuler from the Black Ferns. I was just reading a minute-by-minute recap of the Black Ferns game. Great game. Great game. She joins us soon. No, no, no, but I wanted to know when her try happened

because I knew it was just before half time. 35th minute. There you go. Great game. But you watched it. She joins us soon. No, no, no, but we wanted to know when her try happened because I knew it was just before halftime. What minute? 35th minute. There you go. Good minute. She's joining us soon. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Fletchvorn and Hayley's silly little pose, silly little pose. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Which seat do you prefer when travelling on a plane? Window, middle or isle? And people have chosen the middle seat. So... Who are these people very few I mean

very few very few people have well the stats are 64% with the vast majority window that's so you can lean

and go to sleep yeah I know so good aisle 35% that's so you can nip out and go wheeze if you're a regular weasel yeah but then you have to nip out and go wheeze if you're a regular weezer.

Yeah, but then you have to nip out and go wheeze when everyone else goes wheeze. Yeah, I know. Get them to step over you. Yeah. Yeah. Or the middle, 1%, which still means people voted for it. Well, I've got the number breakdown. 6,500 votes for window, 3,500 votes for aisle, 100 votes for middle.

So 100 people were like, yep, I love the middle seat. What for? What could possibly be nice about it? So when you're travelling as like a couple, who gets, so say there's like, there's three seats. There's aisle, middle, window. You're on a flight to Christchurch, for example, from Auckland. You're with Aaron, your fiance. Yes, my fiance. Would he get the window and you get the

middle? Every time, yeah. I mean, he's so long. He needs to be able to sort of tuck and fold and all sorts. Would you ever do that thing where he gets the window and you get the aisle and hope that no one sits in the middle? Because people book that. Yeah, that's madness. That's a real lottery, that one.

It's a roll of the dice. Yeah, that's a lottery. No, I would never do that because then we're just both wedged. You know, there's a stranger wedged between us. He's better to sort of consume my leg space as well. See, I also feel like checking in on the kiosks now at the airport. Yeah. You know, you're just like, yeah, I'll go there

and then someone can be like, oh, I'll sit beside them. But when you used to check in in person, I feel like they would have seen someone Aaron's height and been like, okay, there is a couple of seats here and maybe I'll just put a

question mark on the seat or a hold on the seat so I can only be booked in the, you know. Well, if we book, if we book like flights well in advance, I just pay for exit row.

But he'll get the window and I'll go in the middle. Yeah, right. Because I'm a hero. Alright, well some feedback from people and the reason why they voted that way. Jess says aisle because I don't like having to ask strangers if it's okay for me to go to the toilet. Okay. Agree.

I constantly go wheeze. Lauren said long haul aisle for easy access to the bathroom. Short trip window. Oh, so she's a versatile. Yeah, she's versatile. I've just exited out of it. One moment, please, caller. That's Lauren. Joanne, depends if I'm

travelling with someone or alone. Window with someone. Yeah, but then you're making them go in the middle. Aisle if I'm alone, don't want to get trapped if I need to pee. Everyone's busting away. Yeah. Brooke, I gotta pee a lot. Oh, and I have a baby now too, who has a habit of only shitting on planes and never in airports.

Oh, no, just take a car. Take a car. Emj says, just did long haul with a six-year-old and three-year-old, so where possible, middle four. Oh, yeah, long haul, the middle four. And both adults with the aisle seats, kids trapped in the middle. Trapped in, so we know if we nap, they've got to wake us

up to move. That's smart. Well, if you love an aisle, the middle three or four seats are probably the best, because then if people need to get up, they can go the other way if you're asleep, too. Exactly. Shane says I hate the aisle because everyone smashes into you when they walk past and don't give a shite. They do.

Yeah. I hate that too. The little bust to the shoulder. You're like, I'm trying to exist here. Yes, my shoulders are jacked. I'm sorry. What are we going to do about it? I'm so sorry I'm jacked and ripped, but just an absolute shoulder adonis.

Wow, we have a message from someone who likes the middle. Oh, okay. I need to know why. Emily says, I hate flying and I like to feel secure. I'd rather have something on both sides of me than feeling open and exposed. So sort of jammed in. Two strangers either side of you. Yeah.

Really? That have no control over the flight. Yeah. Like, you know? Like if the plane goes down, they're not going to cushion you in the way I think you will. But that's interesting. Why? I sort of get the idea of it that you're in a sort of comfort bubble.

Wow. Okay. We're joined on the phone by someone who scored one hell of a try at the weekend for the Black Ferns. Stacey Fleuler, good morning. Kia ora team, thanks for good morning. Kia ora, team. Thanks for having me. Good morning. Thank you very much for joining us.

What does this week look like for you guys in the lead-up to the big final? Yeah, hopefully a bit of a take-a-week. The mahi's done. We've been in camp together for seven weeks now, so we do obviously our homework on England and how we can try and obviously exploit their weaknesses so we can bring home that cup because we're fuzzing. After last Saturday, holy moly, we still can't get over it.

I feel like it was bad enough watching in that final when it all came down to that final kick. It's so stressful. What was it like being on the field literally watching, you know, either you guys were going to make the final or you weren't all based off that final kick. Yeah, I'm going to be honest

guys, I honestly thought we were done. I gave up, I looked at the clock and I saw her kick, she only had to kick right off on the post and honestly she's one of the best kickers in the world, one of the best players so my heart like flinks for her but I was like, no we're done, I don't want to lose like this.

This isn't the way it should go. And then she obviously missed. I turned around and only because the crowd stood up on their feet and she had so loud. I was like, oh my God, she actually missed. So yeah, it's funny. I made a joke of it after the game. I've never seen so many backs rumbling like forwards in the rucks

just trying to secure that ball before we could get out. A lot of emotions at the time, but I'm so glad we managed to pull through. So you only knew she'd missed from crowd reaction? Yeah, I did. I didn't want to watch the kick. Hell of a way to find out, yeah, because at home, the minute it left her foot, I was like, it's not going over. It's not going over. I know. It was such a nerve-wracking moment. Only because, like I said, I had full trust that she was going to get it.

Yeah. But, you know, I love the quote, everything happens for a reason. Yeah. And I'm just stoked that we know, eh? Speaking of the crowd, are you feeling the support behind you guys at the moment? I feel like even people who wouldn't call themselves rugby fans, right? Suddenly they're just like, I love the Black Ferns. You know, they're just behind you guys so much.

Are you feeling that? Yeah, 100%. Like honestly, never in a million years would I have thought, like a few years ago, I never thought that we'd be able to, you know, pack up stadiums like that. And that's a credit to the girls. Like every single country involved playing such good rugby. Obviously,

Saturday's semifinals were both really close, really tough games, but very cool to watch too, and that's cool to showcase the rise or the growth of women's rugby in the past few years. To see everyone jumping on board, and I know we've given some heart attacks to our fans and supporters, so we appreciate you guys.

And last night, Eden Park on the verge of a sellout for the final as well. So I think tickets will no doubt sell out today. They'll be stamped up. Yeah, I've got all my family still messaging, asking if I can get them some. Too late. So good.

I have some, but I've got a big family too, so not sure. But I've heard that they might be trying to bring some more seats up. So hopefully there'll be some more that you can bring. I've already got tickets, but I'll sit on a white plastic chair sideline if they need to free my ticket up. I'll come down and... Happy to bring a picnic chair. I'll bring my own chair.

Yeah, I'll pop it down on the side. Just speaking about the support you guys have been getting, at the moment, people might not know, the Rugby League World Cup's on, the All Blacks are doing a Northern Hemisphere tour, the T20 World Cup's happening, but I tell you what, it's all pale in comparison to the Rugby World Cup, the Women's Rugby World Cup.

You guys have been killing it. Yeah, we try. We obviously have a big vision of ours is to inspire the next generation, and I think we're doing that, and it's awesome. We're never going to be able to play a World Cup at home again. Well, I know I won't. Sore knees, eh?

Got some sore knees. Come on. It's definitely a dream. Like, you representing your country is pretty cool. But, like, to be able to play in front of your home club, in front of your family, you obviously all play for when you go travel the world. It's cool.

And, you know, we've been watching the other World Cups. We love our kids. We obviously love them. We love everything. So we're definitely supporting them behind the scenes too. But it is awesome to get the coverage that we're getting all around the world. Is there a quicker half back in the game than Kendra Cox said? She doesn't muck around.

She doesn't wait for you. As soon as the ref plays the whistle, she's like, I've got it. I've got it. I'm going. And you guys are just so good. She called us off guard a couple of times. I know she's like I got it I got it I'm going and you guys are just yeah so good she called herself guard a couple times I know

where is she she's like I'm going and everyone's like whoa trying to keep up what do you need from the crowd this weekend

what do you guys want what do you guys we need that noise again we need your poi in the crowd we need your voices we need everyone screaming and

because holy I'm not going to lie that definitely brought us home on Saturday. It's so cool seeing how loud everyone is. It's like you grow into another person. You have, like, these extra superpowers because everyone's there watching you and the Black Ferns. It's so amazing.

So thanks, everyone, for coming. Oh, my gosh, it's been such an amazing campaign. And we need you this weekend. Do we make our own poi or is there someone to get the poi? Make your own poi. Plastic bag and... There's no bloody plastic bags anymore. You cut the head

of one of the cornstarch ones and you cut the head off of your kid's teddy bear, stuff it in, put a rope on it, poi yeah. Yeah, absolutely. It's pretty easy.

It's pretty easy. You just have to Google it, I promise. This is the most brutal way of making a poi I've ever heard. Cut your kid's teddy bear heads off. This is literally how I used to do it as a kid.

You are a monster. Well, we're all behind you. We can't wait for this weekend, the Black Ferns second on England and the Rugby World Cup

final. Stacey, thanks for your time this morning. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Well,

the impossible phoner. It is when we find a topic, we put it to you, we think this surely is impossible. Surely nobody listening. What was our last one? It wasn't impossible, but we had absolutely no calls because no one wanted to admit it. What was it?

That's right, but people did admit it, but only on text. Only on text. Yes. Something about cheating or something? I can't remember. Something like that. Well, here's something. I didn't really know much about this.

It's called Shincheonji. Please forgive my Korean. Yeah. It is a new, also known as New Heaven and New Earth Church. Okay. It's been recruiting people in Wellington, and now there's one up here in Auckland. They are linked to South Korea,

and they've been criticized widely for their misleading recruitment style and distorted teachings of Christianity. So basically, they get people into this by saying, you know, come to a Bible study, you know, like a normal Bible study. And then once they get there, they warm them up and they keep them all kind. But then they teach them

really warped versions of the Bible and of religion as Christianity knows it, I guess. And so other like Christian church leaders have been saying, this is straight up a cult. This is what this is. They're getting them in, they're keeping them in.

And this is happening here in New Zealand? Right here. Oh, okay. Yeah. Wow. They're on a big recruitment drive. We've had a few cults, haven't we? Over the years, yeah. There's been various ones that make the news at the time We're on a big recruitment drive. We've had a few cults, haven't we? Like as a country.

Yeah. There's been various ones that, you know, make the news at the time and then people forget about them and then another one pops up. Can we call Gloria Vale a cult? Yes. Yes, we would. One hundred percent. I'm sure people that have escaped there would also call it that.

Well, you don't usually have to escape somewhere unless it's a cult. Unless there's some cult element to it. Yeah. Yeah, well, this is what I wanted to know. This is what you think could be the impossible phone-er today. Were you in a cult? That's it. Were you in a cult?

Wow. I want to know. Are we accepting people who fell for the multi-level marketing scams? Yeah, Von Gow. Are they cults? Mercedes after six months? Are they cults? Yes, they're a financial cult.

They are somewhat of a cult, right? Yeah, a little bit. It's all about recruiting. Yeah. In order to get further ahead. Yeah, right. Well, at least you get a Mercedes in Arbonne. Glory though, you just get a horse and cart, don't you?

No, but the thing is that you never get the Mercedes. I prefer a horse and cart, but a company, you know? Yeah. And you get to keep it. Yeah. Yeah, and at least you have a chat with the horse. You can't do a six-month lease on a horse and cart, don't you? No, but the thing is that you never get the Mercedes. but a company, you know? Yeah. And you get to keep it. Yeah. Yeah, and at least you have a chat with the horse. You can't do a six-month lease

on a horse and cart, you know? I bet you can. You can't do higher purchase? Unsure. Damn. Well, I think this, I think this

will be impossible. I think finally you've found an impossible phone-er. Because I don't think New Zealand's very, A, we're not overly religious in the first place. No, we're not. And, but also, yeah, we're not overly religious in the first place.

No, we're not. But also, yeah, we're not overly culty, are we? Wasn't New Zealand a couple of years ago that New Zealand's main religion is no religion at all? Yeah. Yes. A bunch of absolute heathens strolling around until we die.

Just living in sin and just having a hell of a time. Well, maybe you were part of a cult, be it a religious one or some other kind of... I think you've finally found an impossible topic. Same. Were you in a cult? Well, if you were in a cult, 0800 DARS at M. You can call anonymously. 9696.

Yeah, anonymously is fine. So we'll either come back next and hear about Colts or... We'll just pad for a bit. We'll just be the three of us having a jam. I think we've finally found the impossible phoner. Maybe. All right, well, 0800... Oh, really?

On the text machine? Yeah. Oh, okay. We'll come back next. I want details. Well, it's the impossible phonin' topic, a topic that we've found that we think is impossible. We won't get calls for.

Yeah. I wanted to know, were you in a cult? They fascinate me, cults. You were saying on the spinoff, Bourne. The spinoff, is it a book or a... No, someone that writes for the spinoff. Right. A journalist that writes for the spin-off. Right. A journalist who writes for the spin-off.

Anka Richter has a book out called Cult Trip Inside the World of Coercion and Control after meeting somebody who survived the Auckland cult, Centrepoint. I remember that one being talked about. Yeah. And then just gets fascinated by them and starts looking into all the different cults. So they're here in New Zealand.

Jeepers, yeah. And this is what the story got us onto. There's recruitment for a new... Yeah, Shincheonji Church of Jesus. Which has been called a cult by people. Also known as Mount Zion. Right. You know, so there's a clue.

Wow. I thought, surely this is impossible. And new. New. And new. Should we take some calls now about some text messages? Yeah, absolutely. Isaac,

were you in a cult? Yep. Which one? Who? Where? The big one. Gloria Vale. The big G-Town. The big G-Town. G-Town. Gloria Vale. G-Town. The big G-Town. G-Town.

Gloria Valdez out of G-Town. Great, no, great mouth. The one and only. Wow. How long have you been out? Six years, next April. Wow. And when you left, how did you leave? Like, was it, did you announce it?

Did you escape? Nah, so I was out for dinner, sort of in a holiday home, like half an hour away, and with my wife's parents, and I had a phone. And I'd rung my brother-in-law because they left like two or three years before us,

and I got him to drive up from Feeley that afternoon to pick us up. Wow. Wow. Wow, so you left with your wife? Yeah, and two kids. Wow. What about your wife's parents? Did they leave because you said you were at a holiday home with them or did you just skiddly

dee away? No, they were there with all their kids and yeah. So you guys just escaped? They just arrived. We all jumped in and just cruised off. They sort of expected that we wanted

to leave and so they were like, yeah sweet go for it. Okay. And so what have the last six years been like? Oh it's been awesome like the first few weeks were pretty out of it like such a culture shock but nah yeah it's been awesome. The first few weeks were pretty out of it, like such a culture shock. But no, it's been awesome.

Getting to know so many more people and making better lives for our kids. It's been awesome. So you were born in Blooraville. It was the only life you knew? Yeah. Wow. Is Isaac...

Born and bred, baby. Baby. Born and bred, baby. So is Isaac your name or do you have a virtuous, virtue name? No, that's my OG name. You know, like heavenly prudence. Yeah. Yeah.

There is a name there called Heavenly. Yeah. Yeah. There is a name there called Heavenly. Yeah. And a girl. Right. So what do you, how do you? I wanted to call his kids sober. And his leader was like, can't call your kids sober. Sober.

That's referred to like drunk and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, wow. Sober Sproul. Wow, that is so amazing. I could just feel like I could chat to you all day about it. It's crazy. Yeah besprown. Wow, that is so amazing. I just feel like I could chat to you all day about it. It's crazy. Yeah, what do people say when you tell them you're from Gloria Vale?

Or do you kind of just not say anything now? Oh, I'm pretty open about it. I just like, yeah, it's good party chat. Yeah. Good party chat. You're at a party. That's got to be. Yeah. Good party chat. I mean, you're at a party. That's got to be. From G-Town.

Did you have a hard time when you came out of G-Town to get a job in the real world? No, I sort of had a few friends out already and they helped me out with a farm job pretty much straight away. Yeah, right. Wow. Because your CV would be a bit cooked, wouldn't it? Yeah.

Nah. Your references probably wouldn't have nice things to say about you. Because you ran away, yeah. That heathen bastard. Yeah. Can I ask one more question, Isaac? Because I know that Gloria Vale is heavily steeped in religion. Since leaving Gloria Vale, are you still a religious man?

I sort of was for like maybe the first two years, but not anymore. Wow. Wow. That's so intriguing. It's fun, isn't it? My brain was pretty much fucked from that. Oh, sorry.

That's all right. Oh my gosh, you can't say that in the outside world. Or in the world. Think of us as the Gloria Vale of gosh, you can't say that in the outside world. Worry, worry, worry. Think of us as the Gloria Bala radio. You can't say that. Isaac, thank you so much for sharing with us. So, like Hayley, we just talked to you for hours. Yeah.

So many questions. I was up in Auckland, like, probably a year ago, and I wanted to catch up with you. Next time you're here. Next time you're here, let us know. I'm your biggest fan. Oh, thanks, mate.

Learn a few things. Yeah, we can teach you a few things from there. No, he's only been out for six years, Fletch.

He's not ready for you, mate. That's a 20-year round of glory. He's going to ease into it. Isaac, thank you so much. More messages in.

Wow. I don't know if we're going to top that. I don't think we're going to top that, no. Someone said, I may't know if we're going to top that. I don't think we're going to top that, no. Someone said, I may have been in a cult.

I left a spiritual organisation last year when some sexual harassment allegations emerged and afterwards I discovered quite a few other aspects of the place that would have been considered

culty by definition. Yeah. I've also been in a couple of MLMs and they're definitely culty. Yeah. So that's someone who was in a cult who said, I didn't know I was in a cult but they've done MLMs and they're definitely culty. So that's someone who was in a cult who said,

I didn't know I was in a cult, but done MLMs, they're like, you're definitely a cult. Somebody asking if F45 counts as a cult. Yes. Yeah, a little bit. Someone says, I'm a Les Mills group fitness instructor, and that feels like a little bit of a cult. I'd agree with you on that one.

I was 16, and I joined a youth group. Soon enough, we were taught to remove everyone from our lives who weren't Christian. More specifically, they could be Christian, but they had to go to the celebration centre. They were the only real actual Christians. Wait, it's a celebration centre like the celebration box. Or a box of celebrations. Yeah, I'll go, I'll go. Count me in.

They were the only real ones. We had to invest so much money and time working for free. They taught us that the outside world is where the worst, most depressing place, so that we would be scared to leave. That's exactly. That is the definition of a cult. Holy moly. 16, another person said, this is the thing, preying on teenagers.

I accidentally joined one youth group due to being sick, and they called my mum saying I needed an intervention because I'd gone off the rails. But I was sick. Mum was like, oh, no, you're not going back there. Oh, God, no. My family was super religious to the point we'd be grounded if we didn't read our daily Bible.

One flashback I randomly had was as a child, my family took me to an island and I got an exorcism at seven. Oh, dear. I passed out after being thrown in some holy water. Very strange experience that I'd blocked, and I just an exorcism at 7. Oh dear. I passed out after being thrown in some holy water. Very strange experience that I'd blocked and I just had a flashback years later that it had happened. Oh wow. Yeah.

It's happening. It's happening. Wow, so interesting. Well that wasn't the impossible phoner, was it? It was certainly not impossible but just as interesting as I hoped it would be. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. impossible but just as interesting as I hoped it would be. Now, if you've been listening to us a lot, you will notice that as of late, we have been speaking a lot about a journey to health. Yes.

And I think for all of us, that came from a place of real laziness, not looking after ourselves in any which way, right? We were like going out for every meal, any opportunity for us to come together and have a bloody brunch, having drinks, having too many drinks. And I think we all went like, oh, I feel like shit, basically. I'm in Sniper's

Alley now. What's that? When men get to 40 and you enter Sniper's Alley, you could just die of a heart attack. Oh my god. Yeah. You know you hear of a heart attack. Oh, my God. Yeah. You know you hear about guys like, oh, he was 50. What happened? He died of a heart attack.

Did he have any problems? Nothing was unregistered. He was fit and so on. You've got to do your best. I don't want to get hit by a sniper. I'm zigzagging down Sniper's Alley. He really is. Yeah, but then you don't want to walk into a link bus.

I've got a bottle of Jamesons in my hand while I'm zigzagging down Sniper's Alley. No, that's not it. But I'm not. There's garlic bread distractions. I'm like, no, No, that's not it. But I'm not, there's garlic bread distractions. I'm like, not our garlic bread. Is it Mama Fiorale's? It's not Mama Fiorale's because I've got respect for myself. But I think for all of us, like the whole point of it was that we were feeling like we weren't looking after ourselves and that we wanted to feel better. These hours are crazy.

And you're exhausted and your body doesn't want to respond in the right way. Anyway, I was thinking about it yesterday, and I felt full of fear that I had given the wrong message about journey to health, and that people might interpret that as me being like, I want to be thin. And then I was like, well, that's definitely not it. You know I'm all about that dumper.

You know how much I've been working on my dumper. It's a ward wing. Did it win the TVNZ, other New Zealand Television Awards Dumper of the Year the year no i don't think i don't think anyway i was thinking about this and then a few people had messaged saying something similar and then i saw something that was really upsetting and it was this article that a few newspapers or news sources had shared about thin is in. Like goodbye to the boobs and the bums. Thin is back.

Thin is in. Heroin chic. If you're my age, you'll remember this from the 90s and the early 2000s, that this was the fashion. And when I was thinking about it, it really upset me because I was like, this is what it was for me when I was growing up. It was like stick, stick, thin was the only acceptable body that was seen as attractive and beautiful.

And the idea of that coming back is so scary to me. Like I'm 30, I don't want to get upset, but I'm 33 years old and this is something that I still struggle with, you know? And that's like something that has, don't cry, but that's something that I've carried for all of these years because of this rhetoric, right? That thin is in and that's the only way to have a beautiful body.

I'm 33 years old and even though that's different now and I want the best dumper ever, it's still something that I have to work at constantly. And the idea of this coming back and young people seeing it and believing this, it just fills me with fear because I go, I know that it's not just for now, that this is something they're going to carry with them for the rest of their lives.

Especially in those years, those developmental years. I've been like a young teen. I go, daughters are about to enter that age group. When I read that headline, I was like, you've got to be kidding me. You've got to be kidding me. Like, how is this happening? How is this back? I really felt like we were in the other direction.

Body positivity or body acceptance or body neutrality and great spokespeople like Lizzo and Rebel Wilson and all, I mean, you know, she lost a lot of weight and whatnot, but she's allowed to. I just mean, I really felt like we were going the other way. And then to see this, I was like, that's devastating. And I shared it on my Instagram and man,

I have had literally hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of messages from other women, my age older say yes like this is me this was me growing up and I still struggle with it now and I don't know I don't have an answer I just have a question of like how we can shut this down before it

takes off again articles saying heroin chic I mean even the even that name it's so like that you look so thin you look like you're on heroin that's not good it's not good at all and I look so thin, you look like you're on heroin. That's not good. It's not good at all. No. And I read one comment on an Instagram page I follow that your body is for function, not fashion.

And I think that's it for me. I'm going, you want to be healthy, feel good, strong, eat foods, like, enjoy food. Food is fuel. And not just be a clothes hanger for fashion to hang on. Yeah. So I don't know. I just feel like if you've got young children

and this needs to be looked at with the same amount of attention that we are giving our young children's mental health or, you know, what are they looking at? Who are they chatting to? It's intrinsically linked to mental health. I know. I don't know. Just watch out for it, I guess, because it's just awful.

And like I say, it can last with you a lifetime. And life's too short to be in your 30s thinking that you're not enough. Growing up, did you know, I was just thinking, like, this has been around before, but growing up, did you know any woman that was happy with her body? No.

I was just thinking about it. My mum was never, never happy. No. And like, my grandmother was the same. No. Like, just constantly being taught. You weren't allowed to be. No, And like my grandmother was the same. No. Like just constantly being taught. You weren't allowed to be. No, no.

That's the insane thing. You're not allowed to be happy with your body. So when we're talking about journey to health, we're talking about just feeling good. Feeling good. Feeling fit. My watch tells me that my cardiovascular fitness used to be way better.

Yeah. So that's kind of a reminder of like, yeah, totally. It is the journey for health. It's certainly not a journey to size whatever. I will say there was a lot of comforting messages from mothers who were saying like, I work so hard to not critique my body in front of my children. Totally.

To not sort of talk about myself in a negative way to show them other bodies and what they look like. But that's insanely hard because so much of what you talk about by default is that. Yeah, I know in front of our kids, I'm just like, no, no, we try not to talk about that sort of thing. It's horrible. It's like a no-no.

We can't be saying heroin chic is in, thin is in. Yeah. Your body is your body. You have to love it. You only get one. And then that's it. Life is too short to spend your entire life hating your body. It's doing its best most of the time.

Dumpers. And how good is a thick dumper? Have you seen these thighs? Yeah. Clay, Zed M's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, they've worked out over the average lifespan of a cat, 15 years, the average person, and this is a poll of a cat, 15 years, the average person, and this is a poll of 2,000 cat owners,

and I will say it's a study out of New York. It has worked out. Hey, I'm licking myself in. Hey. And because you can tell it's a New York cat because when you're trying to, in New Zealand, you're trying to get out the bloody cat food and it's like, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. And then a New York cat's like, hey, come on, how about you feed me over here? You know?

Yeah. Hey, what am I, a belly scratcher to you? Hey, give that another go, hairball. Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, great. Is that a new character you're working on? New York cat.

It's just some of his character work. New York cat. Hey, am I on 52nd or 54th? Wow. That's because you know how their streets are all numbers. Yeah, yeah. We got that, we got that. Well, they reckon that the average American will spend $25,304 on a cat in its lifetime.

$25,000. Yeah! You'd be getting a bargain at twice the price, you know what I mean? So per year, that's 16... Meow, meow! Keep working on that. Purr, purr! I reckon it's there. I reckon it's there. I reckon it's there.

I reckon it's there. It's pretty close. I reckon it's there. Do you think so? So just under $1,700 a year. Now, how much would cat food be a year? I get the biscuits. Yeah, we're biscuit only family.

And those are like $120 a bag. And they last ages. We're jimbos. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, because she started on the bouj meat. Here's the thing,

you get one of these plastic bag cats, both of our cats are ginger refugees. Yeah, mine's a refugee. Remember I saved my cat from the breeder.

I had to pay the breeder so much money to release it. Oh my God. But then, they're like peasants who have broken into the palace, you know? Yes. Yeah, they're not expecting anything in have broken into the palace, you know?

Yes. They're not expecting anything in the shadows. Like, well, we've got to feed them the most expensive fresh meat, of course. And then you just slop them something out of a sachet and they go, excuse me? We use Fussy Cat, grain-free. Oh, yeah, okay. You're nice. Grain-free, you know.

Yeah, because you're grain-free. For the time. For the time. We're grain- For the time You're a celiac cat On your hands Yeah yeah yeah Hey back of my day A cat ain't what a cat Was given

I don't know Give when Give when So they So they say things That add up Run to the mic Yeah

Things that add up Are scratched furniture And damage That cats do Oh okay Are vet visits Vet bills That pile up over the year. Things like flea treatments, worming tablets.

Teeth. Teeth. It all adds up. And you have got, I mean, if you go around to Fletcher's, he's got bloody toys galore for Major Murray. Murray's an inside cat. He loves different toys. He's got a tunnel.

He loves a tunnel. He loves a tunnel. Even though I, when that was, that was a gift, that tunnel. It doesn't go with any of the interior. It really doesn't go with the sort of New York City apartment. Yeah, no, but forget about it. I'm going for chic look here, you know. Murray uses the tunnel every day and loves his tunnel,

so I couldn't get rid of it. You can't. So it does add up, but I don't know if $25,000 over a lifetime of a cat would be right but that's what they say it is. Nah, it kind of feels on point if you break it down. And I mean, especially now with the cost of living,

if you're going to get a pet, you've got to be sure that you can look after it because people are dumping them. People are dumping their pets, their dogs, their cats, the SPCA, you know, having a tough time with so many animals. I follow a few different places that rehome dogs, and it's the same situation.

Yeah. They're just overwhelmed. Wow. And you don't want a homeless New York cat. Hey, I've been kicked out of my apartment. He would laugh on the mean street. Oh, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm walking in. Play ZM's Fletch, Va, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, yeah. We are walking in.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. A Sydney bar has launched a $15,000 cocktail. That is madness. $15,000. Yes. How big is it? It's one single old-fashioned. No, not enough.

No. It's the thing with cocktails. They're so expensive And then you get them And you just drink them In a second You almost want them To be hard to drink

So you take your time With them Yes But if someone gets A sweet one Me And then you can just Drink it like cordial

Yes Like that's the thing With mojitos You stick the straw in And you start drinking The sugar in the bottom And you're like Oh yum

Gone And there's so much ice. Yeah, it takes you 10 seconds to drink it. That's why like a martini's good. I had a martini last night and I was like, yum. You can't scull that. It's literally just gin and pomodoro. Yeah, yum.

You had a martini on a Sunday night. I had two. You had two. I'd have two martinis on a Sunday night. Okay, yeah, delicious. We had Quite a few Negroni spagliatos With Prosecco in them

I did see Watching the Black Ferns I did see your wife's Instagram story Your oldest daughter Was making them Yeah I taught both Of the kids to make them

And test it What else are they good for You know what I mean Well they're Yeah good for a Career in hospitality This could lure me Into motherhood

Having a little, your own personal cocktail maker. The problem is, it takes so long to train them. What, like 10, 10, Indy's 10,

nearly 11, August is 8. And they've got stupid little hands too. They do. No, that's great for holding the little. Yeah, but the big bottles,

you get them on a 1-1-2-5 or a Magnum. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, it'll be all over the floor. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Get them to pour a...

No, no, no, no. Because they don't tilt. Mind you, I've seen adults not tilt a glass when they're pouring a beer into it or a sparkly wine. It's just a froth attack. When someone's just like, oh, pour it into a glass. Blug, and you hear blug, and you're just like... I beg your pardon?

Where were you born, you absolute animal? What is in this $15,000 cocktail? It's an old-fashioned. It's got cognac in it. So it's a really old cognac that's like... As well as containing a cognac from a limited edition $3,000 bottle of the world's finest bourbon. It's all cognac. Yuck. It also has gold-infused Chateau de Requiem,

a superior French wine from the Saulteens region in the southern part of Bordeaux. Oh, my God. The pronunciation on this guy. Beautiful. It's beautiful. Très bien. Très bien.

Très bien. Très bien. Très bien. And then those two liquid golds are topped with saffron, vanilla bitters, and especially engraved ice. Oh, engraved ice. Pese a la resistance. Actual flakes of 24 karat gold.

I hate golden food. And for people to say that that's why it's expensive, it doesn't taste like anything. No, yeah. When I put it on top of my pasta during the week, I can't taste it. Yeah, you've got that. One of those graters. Yeah.

The gold graters. But I just hate it when they're like, it's gold infused. You're like, I don't care. No. Does it go in my poopies? Yeah. Do I sieve that out like a gold miner over the bathroom? Or the tray?

Ah, there's gold in there, poops. Take your flakes into Michael Hill. See what you get for them. Yeah, whip that into a band. Come on, don't walk into Michael Hill with a poo in your hand. They'll think you're there to rob them. Set off their new DNA spray. Oh, I know.

They'll spray you with it. You're absolutely toast. Now, it says it's not the world's most expensive cocktail. That belongs to the Ritz Carlton. Yeah. Why was I struggling with that? In Tokyo, it is the Diamonds Are Forever Martini worth $29,600 Australian dollars. Oh my God, who's buying this thing?

Okay, this was added to the menu in the 2010s. It's got a diamond in it. Oh, okay. Well, that would explain why. Oh, okay. A one-carat diamond. Do you ingest it. Oh, okay. Well, that would explain why. Oh, okay. A one-carat diamond. Do you ingest it? No, no.

I think you take it out and take it home with you. Why don't you just go to a jewellery store and buy a diamond? Well, because then you don't get the free drink, do you? So it's a free drink and you're purchasing a diamond. You're purchasing a diamond. It sounds like a tax dodge to me. Yeah, it does. It sounds like a tax dodge.

Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends, and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars?

Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review and we'll review. We won't even go. We'll just review your thing.

I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say because that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.