ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 7th September 2022

Episode Date: September 6, 2022

End of the World as we know it!  Top 6: Emirates Ad  Petty Family Squabbles  Silly Little Poll!  Asking for a Friend  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Are you worried about it right now? Hello, welcome to the Fleetspawn and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download, scan and play the Monopoly game at Maccas to be in to win. And it's, I mean, we didn't want to mention it. But somebody... No, say no more, I know it.

Somebody wore a tracksuit to work today. I actually had to take the top off because it's hot, but it's a matching set. Yeah. And so it only made sense now that I've got the top off. I am just wearing track pants to work. To be honest, it's more of a formal trackie. Like, it's a nice trackie. It's not a trash trackie.

Thank you. It's New Zealand designer. Oh, it's a... It's a posh trackie. Oh, right. Okay. But... Helen Stein.

Yeah. No, it's... Helen Stein. Yeah. No, it's not Helen Stein. How's the G? It's from Glass On. Glass On. Oh, that's the boutique retailer, isn't it? Yeah. It's a bougie trackie, but I did this morning,

because I received this yesterday, from a lovely little Mount Maunganui brand called Italia. And they sent it to me, and I was like, you know what? I really want to wear it. And I woke up this morning, and I was cold, and I was like, you know what? I really want to wear it. And I woke up this morning and I was cold and I was like, I wonder if I could get away with wearing a tracksuit to work. Yeah, good day for it.

And I was trying to think back as to whether you guys have worn tracksuits to work. I wear sweatpants all the time. I've seen you wear sweatpants. Yeah. And I was like, I can do this. I've also, I don't know if you've noticed this week, and I'm glad that you actually haven't, I've been pulling back on the makeup.

Well, Vaughn and I did have a meeting. Did you? We did have a meeting. I wondered if that you actually haven't. I've been pulling back on the makeup. Well, Vaughn and I did have a meeting. Did you? We did have a meeting. I wondered if there had been a meeting. It was in my calendar yesterday at 9.45 titled, how to tell a scruffy bitch to pull it together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How to tell it, slap on a smile and slap on a face while you're at it.

Oh, I hadn't noticed. No, I hadn't noticed either. Oh, that's good. I think guys give way less of a shit about makeup than everybody assumes, I hadn't noticed either. Oh, that's good. I just, you know, I've been tired. I think guys give way less of a shit about makeup than everybody assumes. I've just been tired. Post-COVID, I was like, I'd rather have 15 more minutes of sleep. So this morning it was slap on a mascara and slap on a trackie.

But I did have a little panic about it. Wearing a trackie to work. Oh, don't even worry about it. Oh, no, don't. Don't worry. And I did try to make it cool. Do you see I wore a leather jacket over top? Yeah.

But now I've been sweating all day because I've been wearing a track suit. With a leather jacket on. With a leather jacket over top and I'm boiling hot. And it's only cold outside. It's literally the same temperature in the studio every day of the year regardless of outside. I know. So you get out into the car and you're like, oh, my God.

I mean, you're talking to two people that are pretty casual. Also, you're talking to the person that got a Facebook memory that said seven years ago he was wearing the exact same thing he's wearing right now. Like jean for jean, jacket for jacket, shoe for shoe. Beanie for beanie, shoe for shoe. Like seven years ago. Swan drive for swan drive. And I had my feet up on the table and I was wearing exactly the same clothes I'm wearing

today. I think it's great that we can set a contract that we can just absolutely just put in zero fucking effort when we come to work in the morning. Absolutely. Play ZM's Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show,

Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Wednesday, two minutes past six. Thanks for having us. Bit of confusion in studio over the new Prime Minister of Britain, England, UK. The UK. The UK.

Yeah, because when the news said the new prime minister, Liz Truss, I thought it said Lift Plus. I was like, shit. I mean, they were out there, the British progressive, giving an energy drink a go. It's sort of a natural progression as well after Boris Johnson. Where do you go? Yeah. And the German Chancellor Red Bull is really looking forward to their first, you know, international cocktail.

Yeah. At least the new Prime Minister will get a lot of work done and won't need to sleep. Oh, absolutely. Zero sleep required. What's Liz Truss's politics? Right wing, conservative. Okay. Yeah, I don't really know too much about her No, neither, but that's all I know She's in the same party as Boris Johnson

It was right wing, conservative, right? Yeah Cool And she said on the news The conservative party The greatest political party of all time I was like, a bold statement Did she run a survey?

Do you need to take your jersey off during the show? I got very hot all of a sudden. Can you not just wait 10 seconds? It's because you're wearing a little swan dry into a... I was just wearing a swan dry. It was so cold this morning. Radio studio is so frosty. Fletch, hit us with your Met service. Coldest place in... He loves a coldest place

in New Zealand. My car said four. Yeah, I had a three. I had a four when I left home, but it turned to a three, but I figured that might be windchill. Well, Auckland's mornings five, Hamilton's one, Wellington's six. Do you want to know what city large... Well, you're working your way down the country, so it's got to be a Nelson or something

that's the warmest. What do you think the warmest city is in the country right now? I'm going to go something wild and say Queenstown. Dunedin is currently 8.8 degrees. What? Barmy. The warmest in the whole right now. I'm going to go something wild and say Queenstown. Dunedin is currently 8.8 degrees. What? Barmy. It's the warmest in the whole country. How does that work?

It's one in Queenstown, one in Nelson. Yeah, another beautiful blue sky day for most of the country today. Lovely. Lovely. Lots of fresh snow everywhere. It snowed in Wellington, Christchurch. Oh. I love a bit of snow.

It doesn't snow here. An old door close. I did once. Did once. Remember that in the afternoon? Yeah, it was crazy. It was like sleety. Little sleety flurries.

Oh, wow. Sleety flurry. 2011. McFlurries. Oh, no. I want a McFlurry. Oh. Yeah.

You could actually hold a cup out and there'd be like, you know. And it would McFlurry into your cup. And then you'd get a flake before. A few M&M's and flakes. Yeah. It was so nice. A bit of a caramel swirl. Well, no, don't be silly.

Of course there was no sauce. You've taken it too far. Am I? Sauce falling from the sky. I'm so sorry that I've taken this too far. How ridiculous. I'm out of my mind. On the show today, the top six is coming up.

Yes, Emirates, those cheeky, cheeky buggers at Emirates have directly ripped off an Air New Zealand ad. You may remember, I think it was Dave the Goose. Oh, one of Air New Zealand's finest ads. Took an Air New Zealand flight rather than flying. Oh, yeah. Well, Emirates has like directly ripped it off. And there's been a bit of tit for tat on Twitter.

But I've got the top six advertising campaigns I'm going to yoink to promote our show. Oh, fantastic. Yeah, well known. On Twitter. But I've got the top six advertising campaigns I'm going to yoink to promote our show. Oh, fantastic. Yeah, well known. All right. It's coming up next on the show. I've got the easiest way to improve your day. It's a stressful world.

It's a stressful world at the moment with cost of living and work and the pandemic. Global warming. Did you say global warming? Global warming. Is that still going on? That's still going on. Solar storms.

Did you say solar storms? Solar storms. What about the ever-present danger of a comet just coming out of nowhere and colliding with the Earth? Asteroids and the likes. My supermarket doesn't have cheese balls. I have to go to the other supermarket. Are you serious?

Nah. I'm serious, yeah. Why did you not tell us about your struggle that you were going through this time? I don't know, but the countdown doesn't do the cheese balls.

The new world does the cheese balls. But he lives near a new world. He could have got some for you. Light at the end of the tunnel. Apparently, burger rings are back to the original recipe.

I heard this! I heard someone say this online. You watch Bluebird deny they ever changed anything. Bullshit. Don't you dare.

Don't you dare. Remember when we said this about chips? And then they see those chips being like, I think you're fine. We haven't. And we ate them. We're like, no, no, they're different. You definitely have. You definitely have.

Trying to tell me my childhood was a lie? When penguins run a business, have humans running businesses. Couldn't agree more. But they're still small. But they've gone back to the original recipe. Yeah, but good because they were yum. Yeah. So, I mean, that's one positive.

I honestly didn't know you were living through this at the moment. Oh, it's so tough. I honestly didn't know. I'm also sorry to hear this. It's so tough. I saw you eating a bag of Cheezels the other day and I thought it was off. And I was like, well, he usually likes cheese balls. Why is he behaving like this?

I didn't want to bring it up. And I wish I did now. I thought you might have been going through something personal. Yes, that's what I thought as well. He'll tell us when he's ready. But I assume that you would have had a chat with him about that. Yeah. I was going to give it a week.

Well, thanks for noticing and not saying anything immediately. Yeah. Good pals. Well, speaking of mental health. Yeah. You can go and find a bag of cheese balls if you want to lift your mood. Yeah. Or this red hot research out of London has shown that simply a walk along a long body of water

is enough to boost your mood significantly. Like a river or a creek. A river, a stream, a creek. Even a beach, right? An ocean. Yeah. I love walking up beside a river. A river, a stream, a creek, an ocean. I love walking up beside a river. The noise.

A bubbling brook. Are you talking about a foresty stream? Over a rock, over a submerged log. The splishy splashes. Maybe build a dam. No, don't build a dam. That's really going to stuff things up.

No, no, no, build a dam. No, you, I'm not talking about building a hydroelectric dam, Hayley, in the middle of, I'm talking about just. We're not talking about cutting off the Waikato River. No, no, no, we're not talking about the Ruataniwha Dam. No, you can't do that. Speaking of which, I've got a great fact of the day coming up about water and creeks and lakes and rivers.

Stay tuned. Stay tuned for two hours time. Stay tuned until 8.24am. We won't be able to listen to the entire radio station show. I will be impressed if somebody calls up at 8.30 and says, I've been waiting all morning for this. Please do. If you're listening now, set your alarm.

Okay, wait a minute. Everybody. Hey, Siri, set reminder for 8.20 to listen to Fact of the Day about rivers. I have done that for everyone in New Zealand. I'll do it Alexa. Alexa, set reminder for 8.20am this morning to listen to Fact of the Day about rivers. Can you do one for Fitbit? Hey Fitbit, set a reminder for 8.20am to listen to Fact of the Day. Hey Fitbit set a reminder for 8.20am

to listen to a fact of the day. Hey Google. You better do it. You better do it. Google Home. Hey Google set a reminder for 8.20am to listen to a fact of the day about rivers. What about the Apple? Oh that's Siri isn't it? The Apple Home speaker. Do they still do that?

Yeah I think so. Sure. I always accidentally click on that automation tab when I'm trying to turn on my spotlight. Oh, right. Is there a Hey, Yui boom? I don't think Yui boom's got that. I just wanted to make sure everyone's got an alarm set for 8.20am. If you've got a Yui boom, you've just got to put a post-it note on it.

What is it about it, though, this walking in nature thing? Do you know when you're busy at the moment? Like, I'm busy at the moment. Just doing gigs and all these kind of things. You're too busy. I literally said, thank you, I literally said to Aaron the other day, I crave nature. Yeah. I ache for nature. Yeah.

Well get out there, go for a walk. Those, like, should I know? It's not even worth sending me a let's go here for a weekend. If it's not like in the middle of nowhere. I need trees. I'm so lucky.

I live rurally anyway. You get a lot of trees. A lot of trees. And like yesterday, I went out and- You have been cutting a lot of them down though. Only the bad ones. Okay.

He's been felling up a storm, hasn't he? Yeah. The bad ones. You've got your kauri, you've got your rimu, you've got your matai. They're all going to come down. They're bad.

Naughty, naughty, naughty. The kovite, no. And natives. I love my natives. Trees. And so I've been doing some, I just felt like I need birds. I love my native birds. I love my native trees.

Shrubs, grasses, everything. But you're separating from people? Oh, no. I didn't know because I wouldn't. For a start, I would never say the natives. You've made it so much worse. I would never say that I love the natives. That's not what I would.

No. On behalf of the natives. We accept your fumble of an apology. It was never my intention, so it was a misstep. All right, Captain Cook. All right, Columbus. You've really thrown me now that I'm a racist. I was doing gardening and it's so nice.

Yeah, that's good. It's just hands in dirt. It's just, yeah, I did some misdemeanor. You've been doing a bit of earthing. Kind of unintentionally earthing, but I'm not burying my toes in the dirt and being like, heal me, Mother Nature. Just your genitals.

Earth. Chuck a genie in there. Yeah. Yeah, sit down on the grass for a little bit. Yeah. Chuck a sly genie in there. But no, I've been doing, that was quite, and I came in yesterday and showed, I said, oh, you look relaxed.

I said, I've been doing my gardening, haven't I? Yeah. Well, you know when people say, like those with mental illness, and they say, you know, this is what I'm struggling with, and everyone's suggestion is always, have you gone for a walk? Yeah. Well, son, have you had a banana? Have a banana and gone for a walk. Well, turns out going for a walk actually might help.

All right. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley. Well, a three-year study delving into data, looking at how much we need to retire in New Zealand has been done. And the report is divided into households into no-frills lifestyle, so a budget, no frills. You know when Gran used to hang plastic bags on the washing line to dry them? And tea bags do too. Yeah, yeah.

Two lots of tea. That kind of stuff. A home brand retirement. A home brand retirement. A home brand retirement. I mean, we could learn a lot living like that before the retirement to enjoy maybe a slightly less tea bag recycle. Exactly. And then pull back once you retire.

Yeah. So the report gives options for how much you need with a no-frills lifestyle where you have a basic standard of living with few luxuries, while the choices lifestyle is another option. That includes more treats. My thought is, when are you going to enjoy? I've thought about this because my parents are quite frugal people and worried about long-term and stuff,

and my brother's a real example of it as well. But I'm kind of like, when are you going to enjoy things more? Yes. I always think there's people that live their whole life focused on this retirement, and you're like, you can get by a truck tomorrow. Yes. I always think there's people that are like, live their whole life focused on this retirement and you're like, you can get hit by a truck tomorrow. Exactly.

Then one of them dies three months before retirement and the other one's like too sad to do anything without them. Or especially if you're a police officer about to retire

because in the movies they always die. They always die. I'm too old for this shit. My parents are very the opposite. Like they, but my mum's saying in life is drink it while it's fizzy. So she's going like.

Oh, that's a good one. It's also like a position of privilege that you recognise if you can afford to do the treats and stuff. At any stage of your life, you've got to recognise you're in a fairly privileged position. Yeah, but what I mean is that they're enjoying it now, but I do worry about when retirement, you know, like when they're sort of getting a little bit older. Well, you're doing those renovations. They could pop. They could move in. They could move in. I'll flick

Patsy a message. Her and I are in close terms. They can have the shed. Oh no, it's a bit rude to make them go out the shed. There'll be stairs. You and Aaron should go in the shed probably. Give them the nice, easy entrance. Okay, well, a one person retiring in a metro area. So your big cities, the ones that are on the news, where the flyover, those are your metros.

I'm not living in one of those when I retire. He's gone bush. You're going provincial. Well, those are the options. So there's metro or provincial. So if you're one person, no frills in a metro, you would need $277,000 when you retire.

If you're a one person, no frills, in a provincial, you would need $163,000. Now we're talking. What, just sitting in the bank? Yeah. For how long?

Well, at the point of retirement. At the point of retirement. At the point of retirement. At the point of retirement. At the point of retirement. At the point of retirement. At the point of retirement. At the point of retirement.

At the point of retirement. In your KiwiSaver or cash in the bank. In your KiwiSaver or just cash in the bank? In your KiwiSaver or cash. Okay. But also, so you're getting money from the government. This is assuming super's going to be run when we retire. It is also assuming that. Which I'm not banking on at all.

Absolutely not. So if you're one person in a metro area wanting to retire, but you want to have choices like holidays and stuff, you would need $556,000. If you're in a provincial with choices, you'd want to go $658,000. So this is for a single person?

It's more in the provincial than it is in the metro. Yeah, which is weird. It's more. Because it costs more to get everywhere? It costs more to get to your airport to fly to your cruise. Your groceries, your doctors. Okay, so we'll get down to a couple. If you're still married when you retire.

I don't plan to be, but tell me anyway. If you're two-person, you want to no frills in a metro big city, you're going to need $191,000. If you're in a provincial, no frills. I'm assuming it's together. Why is it going to be so much cheaper to do'm assuming. It's together. It's together. Why is it going to be so much cheaper to do it? Because it's cheaper because there's two of you and the bills are half.

You share everything. Oh, yeah, if you can stand to be in the same room. But you snore a lot. So maybe you get a two-bitty. So, okay, if you're two-person, you want a no frills metro and it's $191,000. No frills provincial, $77,000. Now we're talking. So a lot cheaper to move to like Matamata. Yeah.

Oh, what a beautiful spot. Then you've got to live in Matamata. I don't know, just near you? Yeah. Near where you grew up? You go to Hobbiton all the time? Maybe you could Airbnb out your spare bedroom for some tourists that are going to Hobbiton. Yeah, sort of theme it up, if you will.

Get me the frilly version. I want the frilly version. Okay, so two person with choices, the holidays and all, when you retire in a metro city, you're going to need $755,000. I don't have it. And a house? I was wondering this. Does this assume you've already kind of sorted your living situation? But then, like, if you sell your house and you've got $755,000,

you've still got nowhere to live, right? So then you've got to pay rent. And then a two-person, if you're doing all the bells and whistles in retirement, but you're living in a provincial town, you're going to need $480,000. It's provincial all the way, baby. Well, yeah, that's why a lot of people

do move to the smaller towns. But then there's like, you are further away from hospitals. Yeah. Your family, maybe. Yeah. But you're right next to the RSA, and it does a rip and roast on a Thursday

with $3 handles. And a heavy handed pour. Heavy pour on your peanuts. Your house wine straight out of a cast. Now we're talking. Let's move provincial. Well, there you go. Get your KiwiSaver.

Put a couple of extra dollars in. A couple. Dude, a couple of extra dollars is not going to get you to a frilly retirement. No. And I'm a frilly woman. I don't know what I'm going to do. I have to have kids, don't I?

Because I've got to move in with them. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to do it. Here's the bad news. They cost you a fortune on the way there. Yeah, they cost you as much as you... No, I'm going to give them no frills. They cost you as much as it costs this KiwiSaver.

We all know someone giving their, giving their kids, like, the leftover breakfast for lunch because they wanted to buy a new pair of shoes, though, so. Yeah. That's doable. Also, like, you can have these kids and they might not want you

to move in with them. They might be. They might hate you. They might turn their back on me. Then what good are they? Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, we have a brand new feature that we're going to launch now on the show.

There's a whole lot of bad news. I just Googled news, bad news. Yep. The stock market's doing the same thing it did just before the global financial crisis. Oh, great. Soccer players have done something really bad. Oh, that's just all every day, isn't it? Yeah, a soccer player, though, generally that's rugby.

Rugby world. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Russia has hiked interest rates to 20% and it's bad news. You know, for kind of everybody, everything that happens in Russia is bad news. And you've got your classics. You've got coronavirus, monkeypox, wildfires in the UK. You've got tomato.

Terrible weather. Pakistan's underwater. Tomato flu in India. Yeah, yeah. Tomato flu. And then this headline that we found. It's our new segment, It's the End of the World As We Know It. Because every day it feels like there's something, like we were saying yesterday, you hear these

things and they're like, it's a one in a hundred year event. Yeah. But they're happening every day. Now, there's floods, there's heat, there's fires. End of the world as we know it. Well, we're going out with a bang. Yeah. That's a good way to look at it.

This headline, wow. Listen to this headline. Cannibalistic ladybirds riddled with STIs set to swarm UK homes. Cannibalistic. I mean, it's got it all. It's got it all. Ladybirds. Are they the cute ladybirds, ladybugs?

Yeah, ladybirds, whatever. Are they the cute ones? I don't know how they gender. They, yeah, just red with the dots. Okay. They look cute. However, they are a, they're called a harlequin or harlequin version of the breed, I guess, of ladybugs. They carry a fungus type sexually transmitted infection. So are they only transmitting it to other ladybugs or to humans?

To other ladybugs. They're not going to give you the clap. Well, so at the moment... It's like how koalas have a chlamydia problem but they can't give you chlamydia. Right. By touching them. Which is great because we've all hugged one of those at Dream World. Koalas are my favourite

animals in the world. Chlamydia and all. So these ladybirds have a fungus type infection in them that is caused by them mating. Right. They are killing out other species of ladybirds to sort of take over. Right.

And there are hundreds of thousands of them set to be swarming the UK and entering our homes. Well, heck. Entering their homes. For our UK listeners, there's certainly a big warning here. Don't let them land on you. You know, sometimes they land on you and you're like, oh my God, that's so cute.

And you let it walk all over you. Yeah. Or get it off you. Yeah. Because it's probably got, which one? Does it say which one? STI? No, well, it's specific to the ladybird STI.

Oh, right, okay. They get it through huddling together in the winter. Is that having orgies? Ladybird mass spreading events. Mass spreading events. Yeah, they're huddling together in the winter. They're having orgies. Mass-spreading events. Mass-spreading events. Yeah, they're huddling together. They're absolutely riddled. Oh, wow.

STI riddled cannibalistic. Great. I tell you what, it's great for the roses, though, because they eat the aphids. A fucking silver lining this end of the world. Yeah, but then are they going to be giving the aphids that's a media? I don't have a problem with aphids having chlamydia. You don't either.

They can bugger off. Right. Yeah, aphids are absolutely destroying my roses. So when you say, how are they eating the other way? They eat each other. Oh, wow. Once they get this STI in them, they start to eat each other. Like a zombie virus.

Like a zombie. So they're in these heaping hot piles of orgy. Yeah. And then they start eating each other as well. Yeah. And they're about to swarm. This has happened once before in the UK and they say that,

you know, all the signs are right for it to be happening again. You've got to look out for them entering your home. Right. But no, they're not,

you know, they're not dangerous to touch you. Yet. But they're gross. Alright, we'll keep an eye on that especially for our UK listeners

or anyone travelling to the UK. Yeah. They say, like, you know when you see a ladybird, as you say, and you think it's really cute. With these ones, they say get the fly swatter and kill them. Because they're killing all the other ladybirds. Are they different looking, though? No.

They've got a white head on them. I just looked up harlequin ladybirds. Oh, okay. So, black head's fine. Black head with red body and black spots, fine. I'm a big fan of the blue shiny ones too. They're real cute, like a chrome one. Yes.

Like they kitted out their car with chrome features. They got some underlights. Yeah. And they got the speakers on the outside so you can hear the ladybirds coming. I'm trying to do more with her than do a feature. Play ZM's Fletchbord and Hayley. Play ZM. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six.

Hello there. Welcome to the Top Six. Happy to be here. Thank you very much for attending. I call you all here on very important business. Emirates has copied an Air New Zealand ad. Wow, naughty. Shock, shock, horror.

So the ad in question is the Air New Zealand one where a duck found it easier to take an Air New Zealand flight. A goose. Right. Which was Air New Zealand, the duck or the goose? Emirates ad features Jerry the goose. Okay. It's like a Canadian was in New Zealand, the duck or the goose? Emirates ad features Jerry the goose. Okay. It's like a Canadian goose where we had Dave the goose,

who was your more traditional white goose. Oh, yep. Okay. I mean, I don't want to say white goose are more, that's racist. Yeah, but all of them make good pillows and duvet filler. Absolutely. The Canadian goose actually makes a better jacket filler. Yeah.

Because they're a warmer goose. Quick question, and this literally popped into my head a couple of days ago, and I did think about asking you. Yeah. And it feels like the right time. Goose geese, moose. Mace. Mace.

Yeah, it's mace. Mooses? No, have you never said, look at all the maces? Look at all the maces. No, now you've pluralized the plural. What is the plural of moose? Mooses. No. No, look the plural of moose? Mooses. No.

No, look at all the moose. That feels like sheep. It's like people that say the plural of octopus is octopi. It's not, it's octopuses. What if you're at the dinner buffet and you're like, I need some more moose. Look at all the flavoured mooses. But you're going to pick up two mooses.

Are you picking up the moose or are you picking up the mooses? I've got the moose. Plural of moose. Moose. It's moose. It's sheep. It's the same as sheep. Ah.

Ha. Knew it. Sorry. I've absolutely derailed your top six. What about plural of moose pudding? Is there a plural of moose? Have you put the mooses in the fridge? No, it's not right. No, you've got you put the mooses in the fridge? No, it's not right.

No, you've got to put the moose in the fridge. The meese. The meese is in the fridge. The plural of moose is also moose, but it can also be accepted as mooses. I'm making multiple mooses. I'm making multiple chocolate mooses. Over there in that paddock, there are moose. Thank you.

Many moose. Thank you. Back to the geese. What about the plural of hippopotamus? Vaughan, it's hippopotami. It's either hippopotamussus or hippopotami. Okay.

Which I am a big fan of. God, look at those hippopotamuses. Good to have options. Well, anyway, Emirates have ripped off an Air New Zealand ad and the internet noticed. Oh, yeah,

and Air New Zealand even, like, got involved. Ooh. Cherry, you goose, you got the wrong airline. Face palm at Emirates. Shots fired. Shots fired.

Sassy. Don't wing it, Dave. You definitely want to fly with Emirates for the long haul, and Dubai is a sweet spot for migratory stops. See you there at FlyNZ. Back from Emirates. Also, someone's in trouble at an advertising agency, eh? Because they were literally just like,

God, I've got until 5 o'clock to do this brief. Let me just Google airline ads. Oh, Air New Zealand always does a good one. Yeah. They would have totally flown pre-internet. Oh, yeah, you would have got away with it, 100%. But, oh, you're in trouble now. Yeah.

So I've got the top six ads I'm going to steal to promote this show. Number six on the list. Quick question, Hayley. What's Greg Grover from Nova up to this weekend? He's free. Could he go door to door asking people to change stations? Yep, he could do that. But what's his name?

Greg Grover from ZM. Greg Gradio from the radio. Greg Gradio from the radio. Hello, it's Greg Gradio from the radio. Hi, Greg Gradio. Nothing else rhymes with radio. Trade. Tradeo.

Tradeo. I'll tradeo that radio. Yeah. And I'll get paydeo. Paydeo, there we go. I'm pretty sure he's under contract with Nova. Nova, he is. We can do a cheap rip-off then.

Okay, cool. We'll do a cheap rip-off. Number five on the list of the top six ads I'm going to steal to promote this show. We get that Ben and Amy couple from the ASB ads. Yeah. We get them listening to the show in their new house

with underfloor heating all the while having flashbacks of their childhood and then that little kid who wants the watch from the store window. Yeah.

Oh, she's in the ad too. Okay, yeah. Whether she likes it or not. Yeah, go ahead. But we just replicate that. Yeah, yeah, that's a good one. That's a real good one. Number four on the list,

you know that old man with one leg and the dog with three legs? Yep. Is that the lotto one? No, it was promoting trust power. Exactly. What's it got to do with the power company? I'm not sure.

I'm not sure at all. But it would make more sense if he was promoting a radio show. Yeah. He picks up the dog, he gets back in his car and he's like, this is my radio show

that I like to listen to. Or is it us on the radio finding his leg that he dropped somewhere? That'd be a more... That'd be fun. The dog? He gets in as a community notice saying, if you were walking along the beach and you dropped your leg. Yeah, and then we reunite him with the leg and people are like, oh my God, that's heartwarming. That's heartwarming.

Fletchforn and Hayley. Perfect. I'll do a silly jingle out of it. It's all coming together. Yeah, great. Number three on the list of the top Hayley. Perfect. And I'll sing, I'll do a silly jingle out of it. It's all coming together. Yeah. Yeah, great. Number three on the list of the top six ads I'm going to steal to promote the show. What about a very simple drawing of a man promoting things week by week? What we've got going on with the yellow background and our slightly voice like this. Yeah.

Meat week? More like secret sound week. Yeah. Yes. Cheap to make. Cheap to make. Cheap to make. So cheap to make. Cheap to make. So cheap to make.

Number two on the list of the top six ads I'm going to steal to promote the show, the electric Kiwi jingle. I mean, it's awful. Yeah. It's truly awful, but it works. Independent power company. In no time. An hour's real power.

On the air from 6 to 9 a.m. There you go. That totally works. We can totally steal that jingle and make it work. Why not? And number one on the list of the top six ads I'm going to steal to promote the show are that lotto ad with the team in Antarctica

who have bought in on the lotto ticket and are waiting to get the reception on what the lotto numbers were at the end of their stint in Antarctica, but they are listening to the radio, you see. Yes. And the other thing is the radio runs out of battery, and then to work in another radio ad,

Wilson the dog that fell off the boat in that other really famous Lotto ad, he arrives with batteries in his mouth for the radio. And they're like, oh, my God, Wilson? A dog in Antarctica? This is wild. This can only be the work of one radio station. Yeah. Oh, wild. This can only be the work of one radio station. Yeah. Oh, ZM.

This is all marketing genius from you, Vaughn. Thank you. Really good. Thank you very much. That's today's top six. ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. September 4th, so it's a couple of days ago, 2002.

20 years ago. 20 years ago. 20 years ago, Kelly Clarkson won American Idol. 20 years ago. That does make me feel old now. So yesterday she posted on her Instagram just saying, oh, my God, like what a 20 years it's been. 20 years. That is not...

I was at Intermediate. I'm young, I'm really young. You're really young, yeah, obviously. 20 years ago, and she, who was that? Remember they ended up doing a movie together, the guy she beat? Kelly and Curly Hair. Clay Aiken.

No, not Clay Aiken, that was the next year. With Ruben. With Ruben Studded. Studded. Who did Kelly Clarkson? He's got that curly hair and they did a film together, like a really good... Justin.

Justin. Justin Guarini. There was like a film called Justin and Kelly or something. Right. Oh, really? Yeah. And now she's still got a TV show? Yeah, it's just starting season four now.

Yeah, right. The talk show's going from strength to strength. 20 years, though. I know. That's crazy. It's like I still think about the year 2000 as being 10 years ago, you know? Yeah. So when I think about the 2000s, I'm like, yeah, yeah,

like we're sort of still in them, right? No. No. 20 years has passed. So she's obviously had, like, huge hits, breakaways, Since You've Been Gone, Because of You, Behind These Hazel Eyes, Miss Independent, a moment like this.

Like, she's just massive. Yeah. Because, like, a lot of the, I didn't know this, but I didn't watch that season. That was season one as well. So, like, her win. Oh, that was the very first one. Of American Idol. Her win kind of, like, spun it into what it is now. Like it's

on season, well, 20 something. Yeah, it hasn't stopped has it? No, it hasn't stopped. But a lot of the people that win, like I watched the Ruben Studded season. Yeah. And then the Fantasia season, which was the next season.

That's the one where Mickey Mouse wears the wizard's hat, right? No, no, no, slightly different. Fantasia are a singer. Oh, okay. But they often, and then they sort of disappear, but they don't. They fizzle out, yeah. No, but they do quite well in America. But Kelly's one of the only ones that's like really... International. We spoke, we've interviewed her.

Is she nice? Lovely, because you get like 10 minutes allocated time, and the 10 minutes was up, but she was in the middle of a story, and they said, oh, just one minute, and she's like, no, no 10 minutes was up, but she was in the middle of a story and they said, oh, just one minute. And she's like, no, no, no, no. I'm Kelly Clarkson. I'm in the middle of telling a story. I'll be done when I'm done.

I feel like the Kelly Clarkson, it's like, where were you when Princess Diana died? Yeah. Where were you when Kelly Clarkson won season one of American Idol? Well, wherever you were, it was 20 years ago this week. That's confronting.

It is. A family in Louisiana have made the news after a family feud, a tiff, shall we say, escalated quite quickly. Now, this family tiff all started with a can of cheese. You know, like cheese. String cheese. In America, yeah. Easy cheese. It's like whipped cream, except it's cheese.

America, right. That comes out in a string. America doesn't do cheese. They don't do cheese well. They do good cheese. Sheets of cheese. Like, the dairy states do cheese really well. But why is it orange?

I know, it's always orange. That's when it gets to the big cities. But you can get some really nice cheese in the middle of America. Right. The ones with the massive planes and the dairy. When I think of American cheese, I think like orange processed, either in a can or in a sheet. What is the cheese?

One of the states is the cheese state. Neil, I don't. Would you be proud to be the cheese? One of the states is the cheese state. Neil, I don't... Would you be proud to be the cheese state? Wisconsin. Oh, good cheese there, is it? Has identified with its cheese. Right. But yeah, I mean, if you've ever travelled to America,

your experience is normally orange cheese. Like nachos? Yep. And they put orange cheese on it? Yeah. Guys, where you grew a year at? That's all I'm saying. Anyway, so they were having a family dinner.

There was a can of spray cheese, as they are calling it. It's not quite clear how it all started, but it is believed that one of the sisters of this family didn't get enough cheese, of the aerated cheese, because the other sister had used it all. Is this at a restaurant? No, no, it's at home. Oh, it's at home. Okay, right. Yeah, so then

a fight breaks out and at one point the sister who finished the cheese hits the other sister who didn't get any cheese with the empty can of cheese. Then she attacks her, kicks her in the stomach and then chases her outside. The family's all scrambling around like, stop, stop, stop.

Which is at the point where the attacking sister pulls out a taser and tasers her sister. No, you don't do that. So at this point, the police are called. Yeah. The whole thing is absolutely hilarious. It's all started over a can of spray cheese and has ended in one of the sisters being charged

with simple battery and aggravated assault. All over a can of cheese. All over a can of cheese. Yeah. So I want to talk about the pettiest arguments your family have had. What broke out an argument in your family that was so...

Petty. Petty. Petty, small, banal, but it escalated quickly. And maybe a taser was involved. Maybe a taser was involved.

I mean, extra points if there are. Very hard to get a taser in New Zealand though. Yeah. I was literally about to say this. My brother-in-law, Aaron's oldest brother,

just texted me saying sounds like a regular night in the Courtesy household. Yep. Really? But they love a fight. They have five siblings. Oh, yeah, okay.

Passionate Italians. Passionate Italians, all big boys, especially the three older ones, all very tall. They used to, they tell me stories about like, you know,

someone got more of something than the other and then next minute someone had a chain and was like whipping the other brother. Yeah, but what, some pie or something? Like if you ever had to share like a chocolate bar,

you'd get on the measuring tape. And whoever cut got second choice. Yeah. Or like the armrest, you know, in the back seat of the car. You'd have those like flip down armrests. You'd put elbows in the back. And then it would turn into an absolute. But I mean, maybe there's been a petty family fight

and you're still not talking. Yeah, maybe it's unresolved. To this day. Maybe someone overcooked the Christmas pud. The pettier, the better. The pettier, the better. The pettier, the better. Oh, wow.

Oh, you tried. I feel like we were rolling. I feel like we were rolling and that's just... I think we were rolling a bit too fast. I think we need to slow down. We're trying to run before a good walk. All right. Yeah. Yeah, pettier. The pettier, the better, guys. I think we rolled over too fast We're trying to run before a good walk Alright Well, pettier the pettier guys

Sounds like a French cheese Doesn't it to bring it full circle We want to take your calls now 0800 dials at mkentex as well 9696 Tell us the pettiest thing that your family's had a fight about We want to know the pettiest reasons Why your family's had a fight about. We want to know the pettiest reasons why your family has broken into an

argument, be it physical even. Yeah, police had to break up a fight over a can of cheese. A can of cheese in Louisiana. That ended with one sister tasing another. Chewy-Ziana? You're trying, isn't it? Should we just throw to the break?

Should we just get out of here? Because it's not going to get better than Chilwe's. I don't know. Sheila, what was the petty thing the family fought over? Well, it was me and my sister. She's a year older than me, and we had a blazing row, and I ran out of the house, and we lived near an old disused railway bridge.

Okay. And I was just standing on the top there, just having a look at the world in general. And her bedroom window, I could see from the bridge. And she stood in the window frame, screaming out the window at me, y'all going to get in trouble. So I came home, I kicked her and ended up in hospital with a dislocated toe. What?

Hang on. And then... Your immediate response was to go home and kick her? You're going to get in trouble. I'll show you trouble and boot her

and break your toe. She was going to knock on you for being out, was she? She was going to knock on me but we did have

to band together because my mum, when she came back, we had to tell her I'd tripped over a doorstep. Otherwise, she would have clobbered us both for fighting. Yeah, right. United you stand. Stick together.

Divided, we break toes. Danny, what was the pity family argument over? Hey, guys. So it was my Hide of the Pussycat Dolls song, When I Grow Up, I Want to Have Groupies. When I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a grow up i want to have groupies when i grow up i want to be famous i want to be a star i want to have groupies when i grow up i want to have something boobies yeah yeah yeah and that was that was it it was a fight over the the lyrics let's just say that

words are flying you know i was in the height of maybe like 14 15. oh no it's a racing raged easily the fight was because someone was saying the lyric wrong. Yeah, it was my mum. So we had like a fight over it. I ended up right, but I still ended up in tears. I got it here. When I grow up. Should we play a little bit?

Yeah. Because I always thought this was, when I grow up, I want to be, I can save you some time. Okay, you've actually got the song. Yeah. Right. How far into it was it? Okay, you've actually got the song. Yeah. Right. How far into it was it? Do you remember? It's the chorus.

Yeah, chorus. Go in a bit. This is a great song. Be a movie. Yeah, because it sounds like I want to have boobies. One more time. I want to have boobies. Was mum just saying a different lyric because she didn't want you saying boobies?

No, it's I want to have boobies. No, she was saying boobies and I was saying groupies. Are you sure? It says boobies. It's groupies. No, it says I want to have groupies. No, it says boobies. No, it definitely says boobies. No, it's I want to have boobies. No, she was saying boobies, and I was saying groupies. Are you sure? It says boobies. It's groupies. No, it says I want to have groupies. No, it says boobies. No, it definitely says boobies.

Nicole Schwartzinger already had boobies at this point. Yeah, and she was grown up. Here we go, here we go. I want to have groupies. It's boobies. It's groupies. Okay, Mum, Mum, I've settled this. Oh, my God, it's groupies. It's groupies. Okay, Mum. Mum, I'm settled with this. Oh, my God.

It's groupies. It's fun to say groupies. I can see how this would have gotten out of control. Danny, what have you started? It's giving me PTSD. Yeah, I'm sorry to bring up this childhood trauma. Danny, thanks for your call. Kaylee, what was the Petty Family argument about?

Hey, guys. How are you going this morning? Just quickly, Kaylee, is it boobies or groupies? It's boobies. Yeah, thank you. It's groupies. It's fun to say boobies, but... Yeah, no.

Yeah, always boobies. Okay, so what was your Petty Family argument about? That we're a banana. A banana? Why? Yeah, well, my mum was on this crazy house kick at the time and was trying to get on top of the smoothie buzz. And she was going to go out to the movies with my dad and she said, instead of eating out, I'll have my smoothie first. And my brother took the last banana for his Weet-Bix that morning and she lost her titties.

Like, she... She wants her boobies. You mean she lost her groupies. Yeah, carry on. Yeah, she lost her groupies. And she was, like, screaming. She was shaking. She was, like, physically, like, you know, disorientated.

That's why. She was so livid. Anyway, she was crying so much. She was like, I'm going to the movies by myself. Left the house. My dad had done absolutely nothing wrong, but of course he copped it. No, he's in this because he helped make you guys. Anyway, we didn't see her until later that evening.

And she got back. She's like, yeah, I went to the movies by myself. And we're like, you realize you actually had like a meltdown, like a toddler over a banana. And she was like, yeah, I know. And so we just laugh about the epic banana meltdown

ever since now. Oh, God. Wow. Amazing, Kayleigh. Thank you. More messages in. Two of my daughters got into a physical fight

about who was getting the washing and both got arrested for assault. What? I love it when it goes too far. Do the neighbours call the police on that? Like, what's the deal?

Nothing like a call off in the cells, though. Yeah. I was wearing my sister's socks and she threw a pitchfork at me. A pitchfork? Yeah. I mean, unless your sister is Neptune, King of the Ocean, or Satan himself. Those are the only two people I know that carry pitchforks. They would have had to have gone and got a pitchfork.

One of my aunties called my other auntie's unborn baby an it before anybody knew the gender. So the baby's something about its arrival. What is it? And the baby was referred to as it. 21 years, they're still fighting. 21 years later. Oh, my God.

Get over it. Oh, did she want to call it baby? You know, when they don't say that baby, they just say when baby arrives. But it's... It isn't it. Get over it. Yeah, I don't know.

It, and by it, do you mean the baby or the fight? Both, both. My brother and I had a fight five years ago about Wi-Fi. Since then, I've moved countries And we still no longer talk What do you mean Like what's the password Or like what Is the best network

Or something Yeah something like that What's your whack Or something I don't know Yeah What is it Can you hop off the wifi

Just while I need to do this thing That requires a bit more wifi Yeah One of our biggest family fights To this day started Because my dad took more Than his sliced square Of lasagna cheesy top layer.

I mean, what a dick move. But his dad, he probably just scooped it up and the knife hadn't cut, so it pulled. It pulled. It's cheesy. It's cheesy rather than cut the cheesy. You're leaving a slice cheeseless. My sister said, you can't do that.

Yeah. And it all spiraled from there. I can imagine at some stage dad threw in their face like, I paid for that. Yeah. I paid for that effing cheese. Yeah. Oh, fantastic.

Somebody said, my sister started seeing a guy from Tinder. She refused to tell me her details, show me a photo, give him a name. I was only showing older sister interest, but mum let slip his first name and also the country he was born in.

With those details, I found him on Facebook and I sent her a picture saying, found him. She called me a stalker and stopped talking to me for a long, long time. It is a bit stalkery. She doesn't want you to know. I threw my bottle of vanilla Coke in the river behind my house because I didn't want to share it with my boyfriend.

This was after he tried to wrestle it off me. I love these petty fights. My ex and I had a fight over some gravy because I wrestle it off me. I love these petty fights. My ex and I had a fight over some gravy because I made it too thin. Oh, well, that's probably fair enough. That's on you. It's not a jus, it's a gravy. It's a gravy.

Ex and I had a fight, so they've separated because of the gravy's consistency. But this person said, my boyfriend, so they've gone into such a fight with their boyfriend that rather than share the vanilla Coke, they threw it into a river. Which is not only, now no one gets to enjoy the Coke, but the river really isn't enjoying the Coke.

The river does not enjoy that plastic bottle at all. My auntie refused to talk to my parents for nearly 10 years because they wouldn't change my name after I was born. When they revealed the name, she said, that's what I wanted to call my daughter, but she never told anybody. She's never had kids and didn't have anybody at the time. So mum and dad were like, we're not changing the name for something that's not going to happen. And they didn't talk to her for 10 years. Jeebus. My family had a fight over a sausage.

Someone took my uncle's half a sausage off the barbecue when we were cleaning up. He was coming back for it apparently. Ended up in a fist fight and my uncle left and came back with a crowbar. I thought you were going to say came back with another pack of sausages. Yes, and now everyone gets a sausage. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's find Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Be honest. Do you like your boss?

Yes. 77%. Oh, that's good. Not really. 23%. Yeah, that is good. Actually, that's a quarter of us, though, that are not enjoying it. Ooh. I answered yes. Yeah, I answered yes as well. And I mean that about both Ross and Anna. Yeah, I only

said yes because, you know, they monitor the internet, don't they? Yeah, I did on my work laptop. Yeah, they're watching. They're watching. That's what I was going to say. They're watching. They're watching.

No, but we do have a great boss, don't we, Ross? He quite often gives us his credit card and we'll go out to lunch. Yeah. I mean, what's not to love? That doesn't happen regularly enough in my opinion. Yumcha. He paid for Yumcha. That was ages ago.

I've had so many lunches since then and I tell you whose dime it's been on. My bloody dime. Actually, do you think we could hit up Ross Boss because we're all heading out next week on Friday. Yeah, I don't know. I definitely think that's... Well, we should have asked before we voted in this poll.

We have made it a social thing, literally, just to hang out because we all get on and like each other. Well, that's... Yeah, but I don't want to pay. Should we invite him? Yes. Yes. Great idea I don't want to pay. Should we invite him? Yes. Yes. Great idea.

He'll be too busy to come. Ross, we're going out on Friday. Some feedback on this. Sarah says, yes, I like my boss. My boss is me. She doesn't schedule anything before 10 a.m. I love her. Good call, Sarah.

Good boss. This name's not a super common name, so I'm going to leave it out. But this person says, immediate boss, heck yeah, because she worked her way up from one of us. But head boss offices, they need a massive reality check on what we actually do. It sounds like they need to be an undercover boss. Oh, yeah, undercover boss.

Like, quote, unquote, the man. Like, the big boss. Yeah. They didn't work their way up from being one of them, whereas immediate boss, you know, they know what it's like down quote unquote the man. Like the big boss. Yeah. They didn't work their way up from being one of them whereas immediate boss you know they know

what it's like down there in the trenches. Yeah. Steph says my boss is a great person but a terrible boss. Oh yeah. Great person

oh like I love you. Terrible management skills but a good person. Good friend. Good person. Oh anonymous. I recently resigned, but my former boss and his management team are such workplace bullies that over 20 people have quit this year alone.

They now have to hire every person who applies to a vacancy just to cover shifts. Jeepers. And those are the people that will never admit they are the problem. Yeah. Yeah, what's the common factor here? Yeah. You're like, oh, it's you.

Amy says the boss actually treats us like people and he does a lunch shout every Friday. Every? Every Friday. Seriously, how many Fridays ago was Yum Cha? Ten Fridays. That was quite a few Fridays ago. That was ten Fridays.

Ten Fridays ago, yeah. I mean, we ate. Don't get me wrong. We ate a few Fridays, if you know what I'm saying. We ate a few Fridays. We ate a month of Fridays on that Friday. Yes. Oh, another redacted name.

Do you want to see how Carween sends these through? She compiles them and sends them through. When she redacts them. Where she just gets squibbles. You know, like, recently we've seen all of those Trump redactions and, you know, you see, like like a secret document redacted in the news that's beautifully blocked out in black. Oh, yeah, impossible to read.

Carl Wayne just does scribbly pen. Do you not have any pride in your work, Carl Wayne? It's effective, isn't it? Yeah, I'm in a hurry so I can't look, but if I really... I would love to see that on a news... If it was about me, I'd put in more effort to work in this. Yeah. The company I work for employs a lot of young adults,

and I'm one of the older employees, yet he treats me like a kid, not a fan. Aw. Not a fan. Somebody else with a name that's not super common. So I'm going to leave it out. He lets me live rent-free, and I only have to work an extra two hours a day to cover all costs.

Because I told him my girlfriend was pregnant two hours a day to cover all costs because I told him my girlfriend was pregnant so we had to have somewhere to live and not have to bed our parents' house to make everything cramped for everybody.

I didn't expect that I was just happy and told him. That's nice. That's nice. I love him beyond. That's nice. I wonder if Ross

would let me move in here. In here? I don't think it's up to boss if you live on premises. The image of us turning up to work and Fletch is snoozing. I could do a two-hour shift and get free rent.

That'd be amazing. Well, why not ask him? And there's a coffee machine out there. I mean, there's everything you need. There's a shower downstairs. There's a toilet. There's a bike room. There is the old infestation of bugs happening at the moment.

Oh, yes. There's weevils everywhere. Someone else who wishes to remain anonymous says, is it terrible that I answered no and my boss is my father-in-law? I don't think family should work together. Yikes. Play. Sid Eames, Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho. 108 days 16 hours and 18 minutes until Christmas oh god he's got the hours and minutes as well I love Christmas do you know this year is the first year I'm allowed to have my own Christmas tree

you know like not my family's Christmas tree. Why haven't you had one previously? Well, there's never been any point because I've never spent Christmas in my own house. Ah, gotcha. Neither, but you have a tree in the lead up. Yeah, well, I'm getting one this year. Well, the 7th of September today, Daylight Savings is a couple of weekends. It'll be Sunday the 25th of September.

And then downhill, before you know it, it'll be Christmas. Don't say downhill. That makes it sound like it's a terrible thing. Plowing onwards. Plowing onwards. Charging forward. Slip sliding slip and sliding away. Slap, slap, slap, a slippery slope. Sure.

I want to apologise to Phillip first of all who sent me this over the weekend but I left him in message requests so he was easier to find. Oh, yep. Okay. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, says Philip. I love Christmas more than your average Kiwi bloke, but even I think the first week of September is too early for chocolate Santas and sampler boxes at Countdown.

Wow. They're getting in. Oh, yeah, they've got a whole section there. A whole section here. What's it beside? Oh, they are the candies and a whole section there. A whole section here. What's it beside? Oh, the other candies and a fully fitted electric blanket there. So sort of in your weird stuff aisle of the supermarket there. Would you have to keep it in your fridge?

Because you know if you have it in your pantry and then summer comes along, it's going to melt. My parents get a sampler box and it literally lives on top of their fridge until they're like, Oh, I've got a sampler box. Who's that for? It's been opened. Help yourself. Dad will eat stale biscuits. They don't melt.

They just last forever. So, yeah, sampler and also Delmont's. Is that a thing? Another biscuit competitor has entered the ring. Oh, okay, right. When it comes to boxed goods. And look at that. That's the whole section there of Christmas goodies.

Yeah, there's a lot. It's creeping in. There's a lot of goodies there. You may recall that Te Wadi Fadi featured in Last Times. Yeah. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. They were running a Christmas poll.

They did a poll, yeah. Yeah, they ran the Christmas poll. Is it too soon to be thinking about Christmas? No, it's not. Or yes, it is. And they were overwhelmed. Well, not overwhelmingly, but the majority of people, 57% of people said it is not too soon to be thinking about Christmas.

So, I mean, you've just, well done, majority. You've just given them absolute permission to go ham on Christmas. Yeah. We haven't even got it. We're only just in September. Yeah. We haven't even got Halloween decorations up at the start of October. Speaking of ham for Christmas, though, you better order.

You better order. Yeah. Get a ham for Christmas. I love ham. Liam, who is a listener from the Gold Coast of Australia, David Jones Pacific Fair on the Gold Coast has a full Christmas section ready to go. And then sent us a photo of their roped-off Christmas section, which could be opening up at any stage.

Emily wants us to know that Zach's Christmas tree has popped up as a sponsored post in their Facebook timeline. Be in to win one of three premium Christmas tree packages. Sign up to our newsletter. Now, why would you need to sign up to a newsletter for a Christmas tree place? It serves one singular purpose. Around December, you're going to want to find one. Yeah.

But they'll do a five to six foot Christmas tree delivery and then removal after. Oh, it's a removal after that. Yeah. I chuck it to the goats. Our goats will destroy Christmas trees. Living in the central city in Auckland, there is every year at least five dead brown Christmas trees

that people just leave in the gutters. Oh, and that's sad, isn't it? Like someone will pick this up. It's not a good way to start the year, is it? No, it's not. A tree, like a pet for Christmas is forever. Yeah. Scott wants to submit this for it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I was just in the backyard

and look what's popped up. It's a pahutukawa It is That's unseasonably early That's cute David but that's also a sign of global warming Scott rather Not David

Sorry Scott Nice to enjoy though Nice to enjoy You're just witnessing climate change in action there and Sheridan finally today my friend bought this

from Meki yesterday Absolute Christmas saturation and share it in finally today. My friend bought this from Mecca yesterday. Absolute Christmas saturation. It was inside the box. It's like what to buy for a Christmas gift. Yeah, okay. Already. Is he peddling that already?

Yeah, peddling that absolute Christmas money. So with all that in mind and how many days away from Christmas will it be? 108. 108 days away from Christmas, Murphy? 108. 108 days away from Christmas? Dasher, dancer, get your rings on. Christmas penetration is at... 17%. Oh, my God. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, it's blooming hard out there, isn't it, to find love? If the apps aren't working for you, what are you supposed to do? Billboards. Billboards? Some people are taking to billboards? They actually do. Like, some people, like that Times Square one was the most recent one.

That's right. Or, like, mothers have been taking out billboards for their sons or daughters. But this man instead, who I want to share the story of, his name is Chris. He's 44 years old. He lives in Ohio. And this has blown up. You may have seen this.

Nearly 3 million views. Wow. On the first video. Right. Which we'll listen to now. It is a plea, shall we say. Hello. I'm currently looking for a plus one to accompany my 15-year-old daughter,

her friend, and myself to Kings Island on Saturday, September 10, 2022. I am a single, divorced, 44-year-old from Ohio, and I'm looking for a single woman, preferably at least 34 years old, that is non-smoking and enjoys roller coasters, and someone who's as much fun as me. Don't let the gray hairs in the beard fool you. I do also have the dad bod to go with it. If that's not enough incentive, this also comes with a Fastlane Plus Pass so we can skip the roller coaster lines all day long. I look forward to hearing from you.

Have a good day. Thank you. Fastlane. The Fastlane. I've just Googled Kings Island. Look at this rickety roller coaster. It's a wooden one. Have a good day. Thank you. Fast lane. The fast lane. I've just googled Kings Island. Look at this rickety rollercoaster. It's a wooden one. They get off on their wooden rollercoasters in America. They're like, I'm the oldest wooden rollercoaster on this side

of the Big Mountain Range. I've been on a wooden rollercoaster. It's a good ride. Good rides and a water park as well. And he's got the fast pass. Oh, my God, the fast pass. So you're going to be sitting in the lines.

That's like, yeah, that's big money, big daddy energy, having a fast pass. Big daddy. And I will say he's a cutie. You know, looking at him, he's a 44-year-old divorced cutie. So when he did this, was he like, 10 people are going to see this? I think he just did it as like a light way of like connecting with people, but also like maybe nothing will come of it. Well, a lot did.

2.7 million people have seen it. Yeah, and counting. And counting. And he has had so many responses from young eligible bachelorettes wanting to attend. So anyway, everyone was watching this video being like, what a beautiful man. Like he just wants to take his daughter and her friend. You know, everyone was watching this video being like, what a beautiful man.

Like he just wants to take his daughter and her friend. You know, he doesn't want to feel like a loser. You know, teenage girls, 15 years old. What's he going to do? And so, so many people are invested in this journey. We have a follow-up. He has now posted another video, which is already, and he's only recently posted it at 400,000 views. He has found a date to go to the roller coasters.

The roller coasters. Yeah. And he also shared another little story. So he said, like, here's the long-awaited follow-up that everyone wanted. I have found a lady who I'm not going to name, but she is going to go to the park with me and my daughter and their friend. And this was their first date? Their first date.

He's got the fast pass. I mean, what a great date. But he also shared that another lady had applied? Applied? Right, yeah. You know, inquired about, what's the word? Sort of attending this with him. Yeah.

And he didn't go with her. She was a non-smoker. That was not the issue because he clearly, he said he doesn't want a smoker. Would he do a vaper? Would he hang out with a vaper? He wasn't clear.

He didn't say. As long as she's vaping a flavour to his liking. Bolognese. It's got to be spaghetti bolognese. Bolognese vape. Oh, yum. But he did say, like, I didn't go with her,

but she had said, I'm also, I'm a 44-year-old single woman. I'm a widow and I have children as well. I would love to go and bring them with me. So instead he said, look, you know, you are not my choice. You do not get a rose today, so to speak, but I will shout you and your family and your kids tickets to this theme park so they can you and your family and your kids tickets to this theme park so they can go on their own and enjoy it.

Oh, that's nice. He is surely getting free tickets to this theme park for life. Yeah, surely this theme park should be cashing in on this. Absolutely. Well, I'm giving him an absolute follow. I mean, I love it. He's just like, he's a dad from Ohio. When you go to a theme park, what would you snack on?

What would be your, like, what would be a yummy treat? Popcorn? Hot dog. Chips. Hot chips. Hot chips. Palliative chips. There is popcorn vape juice. I'm obsessed with harmony. Not this again. Hey, wait, hang on. Can you just check hot dog? Hot dog.

Hot dog flavoured vape juice. Hanson hot dog flavoured e-liquid is available. Is this a new segment? Yes, ma'am. Is it a vape juice. Hanson hot dog flavoured e-liquid is available. Is this a new segment? Yes, ma'am. Is it a vape juice? A new segment is, is it also a vape juice? You call up and you give us a flavour and we'll tell you if it's a vape juice. It doesn't have to be a flavour.

It just needs to be a thing. Yeah. Green tea. What about, because green tea is healthy. Green tea vape juice. Yuck. Well, good luck to Chris, 44-year-old, divorced father in Ohio. Enjoy your date.

And if you're single, put yourself out there. Put yourself out there. It's never too late. Maybe Rainbow's End will give you a pass. Oh, will they give you a fast pass, though? Because I'm not lining up. I don't know if they do that. I don't know if they do a fast pass.

Is there a candy floss vape? There will be, won't there? There's a butter vape juice for people who just can't get enough butter in their life. Butter, like salted cow butter. Like salted butter. Roast chicken vape juice. Wow. Garlic vape juice.

No wonder everyone is addicted. Hey, just asking for a friend. Hello, it is our segment, Asking for a friend. Hello, it is our segment Asking for a Friend where you send in a conundrum, a quarrel, a question. Yeah. Of course, you're not asking for yourself. Oh, no, it's for a friend. No, no, of course. It's got nothing to do with you.

Asking for a friend. Here is what we have been asked today. They've even put quotations on this. Yeah, and feel free to message us as well on our socials, FVHZM, if you've got a question for asking for a friend. Indeed. This person has sent, my friend, in quotations,

has been with her partner for five years and she's just turned 30. Good innings. She knows that she wants kids, but her partner is still on the fence. He says he likes the idea of kids, but after seeing his best two mates be pretty miserable, sleep deprived and financially struggling,

he's put off. We'll come back to this. My friend thinks there's still a chance that he will change his mind and knows that he'd be such an amazing dad. Should she wait for him or give an ultimatum

and say, you know, make the call now because otherwise I've got to move on. If you don't want to be with me because I'm going to have kids, you need to leave. Yeah. If you want to be my lover, you gotta want to have some kids. Gotta want to have some kids. That was the real message

behind wannabe. Making love forever, but having kids is, feels like longer. Yeah. It's a tough one. A lot of people would be in this situation. Yeah. I know people that have been in this situation before. One wanted kids and the other didn't,

and they were together for a while. That's a problem for later. It's later, and they decided to part ways because. They actually did it? Yeah, because one of them just, it was like their life goal was to be a parent. Right. And the other one was like, it's just not that familiar. Have you seen them on planes?

Oh, so loud. Yuck. Oh my God. I do know, it's funny. And it costs so much money too. You do hear this when he says like, after seeing his two best mates, pretty miserable. That's so, That's so bad. Like, when you have a kid, you are tired and it's like trying and stuff.

But I would never, ever have described the time as miserable. Never. I don't know. I've seen some of my friends who were like struggling with it. Really? Like, I should not have done that. Yeah, no, no, no regret. Nothing like that.

Still like the best thing they've ever done, you know? Yeah. But it does, like, when I see it, and I see them tired, and I see them, you know, not being able to do the things they want to do when they want to do them, I do, I get a little bit like, that's not for me. So I understand this. I understand this conundrum.

But it's hard. If you've been with someone for, like, a long time, like, you're in a long term relationship And it's all great Except for this Nothing else is wrong That's the thing Like no one's done anything wrong

There's no hard feelings They love each other However This is It's a big thing And then you've got to walk away Because they don't want to have kids I know

What about those people that like I know of Somebody that was like No I don't want kids And so the Woman they were with Was like Okay I'm You know, you know, this is the end of us, the end of the chapter. It's been great, but that's pretty important to me.

And they're like, okay, cool. They parted ways. Then he had kids. Yes. Far out. So it was just like, not so much, I don't want to have kids. I just don't want to have kids with you. Yeah.

Wow. All right. Well, this is what we need now. We need you to call us. 0800 DARS at M. You can text as well. 9696. What do you think?

What are they supposed to do? The question that they have asked is, should the friend wait around, you know, and see maybe it's going to change? Because he hasn't given a hard no. Should she wait around or it's time to give him an ultimatum? Yeah. Maybe you've been in a situation where you gave your partner an ultimatum

and it was either went good or bad. Yeah. Or I'm gone. The email we've received asking for a friend is about email we have received, asking for a friend, is about a friend wants to have kids. Her partner is not so sure. Time's ticking on and she wants an answer, basically. Are you going to change your mind?

Are you going to commit to this? Because otherwise, I might have to be out of here. Yeah. You're not going to be bloody young forever, you know? No. And that works for both sides. Maybe if somebody wants to have kids because they're like, I don't want to be an older parent.

Or maybe you're happy to be an older parent. That's cool too. But like younger dudes, some people messaging in saying, guys when they're in their 20s will always say, I don't want to get married. I don't want to have bloody kids. Yeah, but that changes. Yeah, they're like young and cool.

And then all of a sudden they're like 30-year-old at the bar, and they're like, well, hopefully. Hopefully they're like, what am I doing here? Rather than being like, g'day, sweetheart, 18, are you? I'll buy you a drink, not an expensive one, though. All right, well, maybe you've been in this situation, and you've delivered an ultimatum. Yeah, or you've had it put to you and you've said, I don't want kids.

All right, Anonymous, good morning. What do you think? Hey, well, Anonymous is calling up for a friend, quote unquote. Yeah, good, good. Their leaning towards this would be if they're not sure, then that's a leaning towards not at all as opposed to yes, it's something that they would look at. Yes, you think that the partner would have a desire there somewhere

that he would be able to kind of lean on. But if he's saying he's not sure, are you reversing, are you? Yeah. Oh, no, just parking. Oh, yeah, parking. But you think that if he's not sure now, he never will be? Yeah, and I mean, at 30, like, there's still plenty of time,

but there's not a lot of time, if you know what I mean. And, you know, if he's not the one, you know, she needs to find her life partner that is the one. And it is a very real desire of, real desire of someone to want to have kids. And while this friend did have a child, it was a bit of a half-hearted compromise. And when it came to number two, it does cause resentment further down the track

if you're not getting your life streamed, you know? Yeah, when you're forcing someone into it, like that's not a good sign, right? It's never going to be the sort of happy story that you want it to be. Yeah, anonymous thanks you called. Heidi, what do you think? Oh, yeah, hi.

So I know some people who had this exact sort of scenario, but it was a bit later in life, so it was a bit more tough. Yeah, a bit more pressing. And they broke up, and then he went on probably about two years later to, he was the person who didn't want any of it, to get married, have a kid, and got the happy dog. And, you know, in the dating question,

she's now married very happily with someone much more supportive of who she is and everything like that as well. So, you know, sometimes in life, it's just something else around the corner. Yeah. You know, like they were happy together, but there was always, you know, that kind of, that roadblock. Yeah. But there was always, you know, that kind of roadblock. And I think as soon as you start giving ultimatums or, you know, causing someone into a massive life decision, it's not real anyway. If I could put it into an analogy of going for a road trip, you know. You're on the road and the destinations are different destinations,

but the state highway to get there is the same state highway until it's not. Yeah, until it splits into the 16. Until it splits into, you know, maybe someone state highway to get there is the same state highway until it's not. Until it splits into the 16. Until it splits into, you know, maybe someone's going to Tauranga and someone's going to Hamilton. Yeah. But they're coming down from Auckland. That's quite windy, isn't it? Yeah, well, they're coming down from Auckland.

They're coming down from up north, so a lot of the journey is shared, but then it gets to a point where, you know, it's no longer viable to be on the same road. Are you going to take the bypass or are you going to crawl through Hamilton? Or are you going to state highway 27 and going down there, you know, it's no longer viable to be on the same road. Are you going to take the bypass or are you going to crawl through Hamilton? Or are you going to stay at 0827 and go down there, you know? Heidi, yeah, yeah, yeah. Heidi thinks you're cool. Greg,

what do you think? Hey, Sam, well, I mean, I have to be honest. I have four kids of mine, so it's a decision that we've made, but for us it was that idea that we could give up kind of being the centre of our own universe. And so in terms of the person in question, I guess, can that person foresee their part in being able to make that decision at some point? Hold on.

But if they can't, then it's pretty clear cut because it's the one thing in life that, yeah, when you do do it, that's ultimately what you can spin up, I guess. Yeah, you can't undo it, you know. You can't just sort of do it in halves. You've got to go like, yep, I'm ready to, as you say, be more selfless, give up me being number one in my life. Yeah, 100%. And I guess it's that thing that if you know the person well enough, I guess you can foresee that being a possibility or actually you reach a point where it's like, you know,

no slight on them, them not being able to get to that place. But, you know, I guess it becomes a really easy decision once you can see that in them. It also makes it pretty hard to be having kids with someone who still can't put anybody else at the centre of the universe too. You know those dads. Oh, yeah. What do you mean?

I'm going out to golf. Yeah. Oh, no, no. Me and the boys are playing that 72 hole challenge this weekend. No, you're not, man. And I'm going to go on Friday to get on the piss with them. No, you're not. Greg, thanks for your call.

We'll finish up. Mia, what do you think in this situation? The ultimate in the baby or breakup? I have been in this exact situation myself. Oh, inside knowledge. Only at the start of this year. It's fresh. Tell us what happened.

I was very much for wanting kids. I was very open about that right from the start. And he was very much on the fence. But a few things kind of had happened all in a short space of time, and he came to the realisation that actually he didn't feel like he wanted that in the future. And this was over two years deep into the relationship. Yeah. And so that was it for you?

Like, once he'd made up the mind that it was a no, like, I'm not going to have kids? That was my deal breaker, yeah. And unfortunately, we did split up over that. But it was a matter of, like, if things carried on and I didn't end up having kids that I had always wanted to have. Then it was just going to lead to resentment. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, totally.

But, yeah, he actually came back after a wee while. Pop twist! And it has changed a part. So now he wants a baby with you? Yeah, one day. Oh, that's exciting. Oh, I like that. Maybe he just needed to sort of go away from it all and really think about it

and then go, actually, no, I'm going to commit. I want her and everything that she involves. Yeah, amazing. Oh, my God. Can you call us back when you get pregnant, please? I want to celebrate this with you. Keep us long term informed. Yes, thank you.

Mia, thanks. You called some quick messages in. Yeah, along the same, you know, situation. Sorry, just before you do this, when you say quick, it's got to be quick. So we have had some texts saying they are waiting for the fact of the day. Oh, let's just wrap it up now then. We teased it at 6.12am. 6.12am.

Two hours, 12 minutes ago, I told you to stay tuned for fact of the day. And a few people have messaged. And I even took the liberty to set everybody's Siri and Alexa and Google reminders. You set alarms. I think the thing is that she needs to make the ultimatum. You need to decide now. Blah, blah, blah. I want what I want.

You get out of here. Make your own decisions. It's been a grunt. Pull the trigger, you know? Fact of the Day is next. It's going to be a beauty. It better be. You've been teasing it for over two hours.

Yeah, you've been building this up. Play. Zidane's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is, well, it kind of starts overseas and then it gets a homegrown flavor. Okay. Take us on a journey, please. So the fact of the day is that it takes 90 days for a drop of water

to travel the entire length of the Mississippi River. Wow. So when a drop of water starts or leaves the lake at the start of the Mississippi River, which is... If I was in a canoe, would it take me 90 days? No, because you're on the surface, so there's a little bit

less. Oh. Well, I need a submarine. Would it take me 90 days? You would need to be in a giant drop of water. How did they track a drop of water? They worked they track a drop of water? They worked out the water flow of it. And like the direct flow of water. Right.

And that it takes, this is a standard, this is not flooded. It's a very flood prone river because it catches a huge amount. It's catchment area is absolutely massive. In fact, there's quite an amazing Atlas Obscura podcast episode about the Mississippi River Basin model. I think I may have mentioned this briefly before. They built this huge 200-acre scale model of the Mississippi River. They had diggers and everything shaping out the major mountains,

the valleys and everything. And they were like, okay, so if it rains 200 mils of rain downpours here, how is that going to affect the flow downstream? Where do we need to tell people to evacuate? So this was the whole idea of it. Right. Because as towns grew and people built closer to there, and obviously they wanted to avoid disaster, they built this massive scale model to say, okay, and if it rains hard out here,

where is the water going to flow and everything? So that's not how they found out the flow of it. This was all mathematically calculated that it's a 90-day journey from the start

of the Mississippi River. Three months. Right to the end of the Mississippi River and that got me thinking. So if they left now, it'll be New Year, Christmas. Yeah, basically.

A little bit later. How many until I've got four months? Yeah, okay. 108 days. Yeah, right. Until days. Yeah, right. Until Christmas. Yeah, so they're arriving in enough time to probably get a bit of shopping done before Christmas.

That's nice. The Gulf of Mexico, because that's where it enters. So that got me thinking about other famous rivers. Yeah. The Nile. Three months for the waters near the town of Jinja in Uganda, which is where the Nile leaves Lake Victoria to reach the Mediterranean Sea.

So that's another three-monther. Three-monther. What about homegrown? Yeah, give it to us. No better river, in my humble opinion. No better river in this country of ours than the Waikato River. It's mighty.

It's mighty, but it's quite brown and muddy, isn't it? By the end of it, yeah. A lot of our rivers are brown. Also, I tried to look up the Whanganui River, but I couldn't find a definitive answer because it was like, how long does water take to make its way down the Whanganui River? And it told me about the canoe trips, which

are wonderful. Oh, yeah, we did that over New Year's. Beautiful. A great old time. The catchment, this is another interesting thing about the Waikato River. The catchment area of the Waikato River is 12% of the entire North Island. Put that in your pipe for later. Wow. Don't smoke it yet.

So how long will a water take to go down the Waikato River? A drop. It takes several weeks for a drop of water to flow from Taupo to Port Waikato. It takes several weeks only because of the dams. If there was no dams on the river, it would take seven days. It keeps getting interrupted. Is it because it gets to the dam and it has to wait to get sucked down the gurgler? Like a queue.

A little overnight stay. It forms a queue before it can go down through. So if there weren't dams, water would take seven days to get down the Waikato River. Right. But because of the dams, it could take several weeks. That's fascinating, isn't it? It really is fascinating. It's fascinating stuff.

Also, somebody has messaged in saying, you made us wait this long for that. I sure did. That's a fascinating fact. I'm just going to go hunting for some other feedback. About water making a sound. You think about the Mississippi River. That's 90 days, a drop of water.

Imagine a drop of water as a cartoon character. It's like plop and it falls in and it's like, where will I end up? And then at the end of it, it enters the Gulf of Mexico and becomes salt water. I'm going to say there's mixed reviews. There's mixed reviews for the people that have waited two hours. We've even got a hashtag, bye, Felicia. What about the Rakaia River? That'd be quick because it just screams out of those mountains, doesn't it?

But then it idles across the... The braided rivers. It'd get stuck, wouldn't it? I can do a quick Google of how... I mean, I think we're fine. Vaughan, I think we're fine No, I mean, I think we're fine. Vaughan, I think we're fine. Vaughan, I think we're fine. Someone said you owe me two and a half hours.

This is the thing when you promise a big game. This would have been an absolutely sufficient fact of the day had you not at 6.12am this morning told the nation to set an alarm because today's fact of the day. We talked at 6.12 today about how relaxing and good for the soul it can be for walking

beside a body of water and then we started talking about rivers and I love the sound a river makes like a bubbling brook or a creek. You wet all the rocks

the other day the river didn't you? You've got to. If there's a dry rock you've got to splash the rocks. They don't want to be dry they're a rock. They want to be more submerged

so you splash the rocks it's all very relaxing and be dry. They're a rock. They want to be more submerged. So you splash the rocks. It's all very relaxing. And I said, interestingly enough, I have a fact of the day about rivers. Stay tuned for that in two hours, 12 minutes time. People are upset now. People did. We've got to give them a treat for waiting. Well, anyway, today's fact of the day.

Well, I'm just looking up the Rakhia River catchment. What a wonderful catchment. If you don't know about catchments of rivers, you really simply must look into it and it really explains floods, of which a lot have been happening around lately. I tell you what you want to look up, you've got five minutes today Look up the catchment area of the current floods of Pakistan. It will

blow your mind. I bet it will Huge catchment area as well as snowmelt. Phenomenal. Phenomenally interesting stuff. The La Croix River's 150 kilometres from tip to toe. So the river,

the water probably gets down there in a day, day and a half. How is it? It's nearly nine o'clock. Come on, hurry up. I could talk rivers all day, guys.

I know. Have you guys got a favourite river? Quick before we leave, favourite rivers of New Zealand? Must be in New know. If you guys have got a favourite river, quick before we leave, favourite rivers of New Zealand. Must be in New Zealand. Ah, Polaris. Is that a river?

The Buller River? The one that goes under the bridge. Yeah. With that wee kayak down there once. That was beautiful. That's beautiful and blue. We rafted. I mean, that was more of a river raft.

We rafted. I like the river behind my house. Manky. It's a Manky. It's a Mankykey. It's a sh... It's a mankey. It's a mankey. So it's going to flood your kitchen one day. No, we're one house behind.

I'll be out of there by then. Right. You're under arrest for having a power of water. Well, anyway, today's fact of the day is that it takes... Oh, I see. 90 days.

Well, no, I was going to do the Waikato River. No, do the... The Mississippi River. No, no, okay. It takes... Okay, today's fact do the Waikato River. No, do the... The Mississippi River. No, no, okay. It takes... Okay, today's fact of the day is it takes water the same amount of... The Wimac.

You've missed the Wimac. Is the Wimac up? Somebody's just messaged out... Someone's demand the Wimac will be up. I don't know if it will be up. Bit of rain down there, the Wimac up? I'm going to say it's average. It'll be average.

What school did you go to and is the Wimac up? That's Christchurch. That's the first two questions you get from anybody from Christchurch. Today's fact of the day is it takes water as long to travel the Nile as it does the Mississippi River. Fact of the day, day, day, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, a whole lot of drama was attached to it before the press situation even unfolded this is they're doing the press tour now

to promote the to promote the movie Chris Pine's in it there seems to be a little bit of an issue between Chris Pine and Harry Styles Chris Pine looks so bored

in this entire press tour yeah and people said this is just Chris Pine he hates press tours and then it showed him at Comic Con promoting the Dungeons and Dragons

movie he's going to be in and I've never seen a man like Hapier in my life. He looks like you at a Dungeons & Dragons Comic-Con. He looks like me whenever we get to talk about Dungeons & Dragons. So he was absolutely stoked, and someone was like, well, it seems like it's not the case. It might be a personal issue. There's been all this other stuff between the director, Olivia Wilde,

and Florence Pugh, who's the star of the movie. And Shia LaBeouf, who was apparently fired because people didn't feel safe, but he said no, he quit. So I don't know, and the latest is apparently Chris Pine may have been spat on by Harry Styles just before one of the movie previews. The body language is tense. I just watched this video, and Chris Pine is sitting there, and they're all clapping as like one by one they come in,

and then Harry Styles comes in and he just stops clapping. And it does, it looks like Harry kind of looks down at Chris Pine's lap, and then Chris looks at his lap and just pauses and is like one by one they come in and then Harry Styles comes in and he just stops clapping and it does it looks like Harry kind of looks down at Chris Pine's lap and then Chris looks at his lap and just pauses and is like

what? Something's hit me. Like what? And then just stops clapping. It wasn't one of those things where you just have a little spit bubble comes out

and lands on Oh if it was an accidental you'd be like oh my god I'm so sorry. But an expert on all these things and someone that's

apparently watched it frame by frame by frame. Oh, she has analysed this as a huge Harry Styles fan. Yeah, which I think is biased, and that may have been a conflict of interest. No, no, no. At the social media desk, Carween, good morning. Good morning.

Can you tell us what is happening? Okay, so Don't Worry Darling was at the Venice Film Festival. They're doing their press tour. There's a lot of tension. As you mentioned, Shia LaBeouf, Olivia, Harry, Florence. Literally no one in that cast likes each other, it seems. But yes, the spitting thing is the biggest drama. It's all over Twitter.

It's all over TikTok. Chris Pine's people have said it's not spit. It didn't happen didn't they call it like a ridiculous yeah, a ridiculous claim it looks like he does well it's with his attitude you can't see any spit though can you?

no you can't see spit, it's just like the reaction so I've watched, slowed down, frame by frame zoomed in video there is no spit, Harry does make a weird mouth movement. Right. But he's in front of hundreds of people, you know? You get nervous. You would say that though because you love him.

You love Harry Styles. I would, but also if he spat on Chris Pine I want to know the tea, so I'd be here for it. You know? Yeah. But it looks like gum or like a little tooth. Maybe he's got bad dental hygiene. Harry Styles teeth falling out. It's just falling out. Crumbling.

Maybe a chive flew out accidentally. It could be a chip. It could be reminiscent of popcorn. You always get popcorn in the movies, don't you? Yeah. But anyway, regardless, he needs to apologise to Captain James Tiberius Kirk. But then they're saying it didn't happen. Because is Harry still with Olivia, Carween?

Okay, so. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh my God. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, my God. Okay. Is this going to be like one of the stories my daughter tells me about a YouTuber that I have zero care for? Potentially.

I'm going to say relationship in quotation marks because it's never fully, fully been yes, we're together. Can they like walk hand in hand and stuff? Yes, but they've never properly been like we're together. Now, at this Venice Film Festival... Well, it's unlike him to be vague about stuff. Right? He's been cool about that.

Now, at this Venice Film Festival, for quite a while, there was no footage of Olivia and Harry interacting at all. No, no. There's scenes where they're in a group taking group photos. Olivia moves to turn towards him. He turns his back to her. Yeah, there's this. So people, Olivia was on the other side of Chris Pine.

Maybe he was trying to spit on her. Quite possibly. Now, there has been footage shown of the two of them whispering to each other behind Chris Pine's back. Right. Right before Harry then turns to Nick Kroll and kisses him on the mouth. Yes. That's the only interaction. When did Nick Kroll and kisses him on the mouth. Yes.

That's the only interaction. When did Nick Kroll come into this? More baiting, more baiting. He's also in the movie, I think. Oh, is it right? And then Florence, obviously the drama with her is that her and Olivia don't necessarily get along due to the fact that Olivia allegedly, I don't want to get in trouble, wasn't very involved in the directing side of directing a movie because she was busy with Harry.

Yes, this is what I thought. And let's not forget she cheated on Ted Lasso. Allegedly, allegedly. No one cheats on Ted Lasso. So I wondered this, like, if Harry was getting sort of favourable treatment on the set, that would annoy me. And especially because, and I say this, like if Harry was getting sort of favourable treatment on the set, that would annoy me. And especially because, and I say this with respect because he's a great actor, but Harry's the new kid on the block. It has also come out that he is earning quite a lot more than Florence.

Quite a lot more. And the reviews for this film? Terrible. Really? The film's never going to live up to the hype. Maybe they're all making this up So we talk about this film It did get a 4 minute standing ovation

At the film festival Which is small Usually it's like 21 minutes Brendan Fraser got a 16? Massive standing ovation For his return to Hollywood And that's quite an indication on how well the movie will go

apparently. But I'll be there. I want to watch it. I want to see if you can feel the tension between the cast. You know? 11 minutes away from 9. We've spoken about quiet quitting before which is where you sort of pull back from your

job. No, I think it's just doing the exact thing you're paid for. Yeah, like not going ever above and beyond for your job. Yeah. Kind of just doing the bare minimum to get by, clocking in at five, see you later, see you on Monday. You know those friends you have and they're like, still in the office, it's nine o'clock. You're like, no.

Quiet quit, yeah, quiet quit that. You need to quiet quit that job. Well, now quiet quitting is popping up in relationships. And apparently it ain't good. So it's the exact same concept, which is like you're in something. Yeah. You're all in. It's everything.

And then eventually you just start to sort of pull back, do the bare minimum, start giving up a lot of the extras that you do. Like you don't make romantic gestures. Exactly. If one partner starts to quietly quit the relationship and really stops putting in the same amount of effort that they used to, typically what they see in the other partner is they feel it and they start to do the same.

And so basically just two people slowly but surely quietly quitting a relationship as opposed to just leave. Why not call it? Why don't people just say we're done here? Is it because the rent would go up? Rent would go up. It's cold. Yeah.

It's cold. I need a hot booty next to me. At least cuddles until at least like what, November? So they're saying like if you are in a relationship but your partner seems to be quietly quitting, it looks like complacency, as simple as skipping date nights, skipping little gestures they used to do, you know, doing things for you, no buying of flowers, nothing to show that they really care. But also they might just be tired, so check that. Yeah, that's true. Just check that. I feel everyone at the moment is just super tired.

Yeah. But what if, here's a test, because you love, what's your love language? Words of affirmation and physical touch. You could test your partner with your love language. My love language is, tell me five things you like about my face. And then if he didn't say, or couldn't come up with five things,

he's quit a long time ago. I will say every now and then I say, tell me five things you like about my face. Maybe he's just not in the mood for this absolute attention-seeking bullshit. I know, but this is what he does. I go Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron Aaron, Aaron, Aaron.

Yeah. What are five things you like about my face? He goes um and I'm like oh you know what then don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. The hesitation. No it's the um good no and I'm like and he's not. And he said you had two ears didn't he which was nice. He did No, it's the... Good, no.

And I'm like, and he's not... And he said you had two ears, didn't he? Which was nice. He did say that. Bit rough of him, though, for the one-eared, you know. Yeah, it is, actually. In fact, you should probably... I have said this before, so what?

You wouldn't date me if I lost an ear. And then he's in trouble. But I don't think Aaron not coming up with five things he likes about my ears is him quite quitting. He's just quietly bloody over that behaviour from me. See you, see you later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted.

Suzy Cato's a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice. So if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.