ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 8th April 2022

Episode Date: April 7, 2022

Fizzy Drink Ban Proposal New skate park in WellingtonTop 6  Beaking up over text, good or badWhen did someone get your age wrongPDA is back babyFact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's running out of breath. Available now at Macca's. That COVID, eh? Lingering. Well, yeah, it is.

Okay, I've got some news. Yesterday on the show I mentioned the mooring fish cafe in Araratama. Oh God, here we go. Just up for a moory beach. Fucking fishonga. Oh, God, here we go. Just up from Moorish. Fish sandwich again. No, but I got hooked. I started looking at flights the moment you mentioned it. Yeah, yep, yep.

Well, you want to see the pictures of the fish sandwich. Can I ask, is this just like plain white bread with fish in it with margarine? What more do you want? Well, it's a restaurant. When it's fresh fish, all you need. Oh, that's a restaurant. I want fresh fish. All you need. Oh, that's a fish burger. That's not a fish sandwich. Soft bun, though.

Soft bun. Soft bun. That does look soft bun. Yeah. And the fish always comes out piping hot. Look at all the other bits and pieces that you can't expect. I need, I want, I want, I need. Not the different types of fish.

Oh, here we go. Here we go. That's another one. That's another big sandwich. But that's, again, that's a another one That's a burger No because it's not round It's elongated Burgers have to be round in my opinion It's a big Sammy

And a small burger is a slider of course There's a whole family of bread items You mentioned the moorings in Rarotonga Yesterday on the podcast People said to me that it had shut down You've had correspondence. Yeah, people messaged in saying, Vaughan, I've got very sad news. The COVID has claimed another victim in the mooring cafe,

the mooring fish cafe in Rarotonga. I was heartbroken, but I've looked it up. Yeah. And somebody else I've talked to said, no, it's reopening this Sunday. This Sunday? It shut down because COVID got to the Cook Islands. Right. And it was just sort of a precautionary thing.

Right. The workers and everything, they wanted to look after themselves. But now we're all going. Yeah. It's opened back up. It's back open. Oh, that's great. And apparently on Sunday it opens.

I've got the menu here. Should we pop over? I mean, have you got a few thousand dollars? Nope. Crumbed mahi-mahi and lime mayo That's the signature dish Served on fresh Turkish bread with homemade sauces You've got your moko, which is seared tuna You've got your hot and spicy, which is seared tuna with the spicy pickle

The Cajun seared tuna is the Tijuana I'm not a big tuna girl. Tuna or tuna? There's mahi-mahi then. You're probably best to go best to go. There's the CLT, the BLT.

Get yourself a lovely coconut. Love a drinking coconut. Okay, well we'll leave you to salivate over that menu. Yeah, so bad. So bad. Play it. ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Salivate over that menu Yeah, so bad, so bad Thanks Rachel, good morning, welcome to the show Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, it's two minutes past six

We were just saying Hearing Rachel say that Parliament Yesterday passed Matariki into law The new public holiday We've already booked accommodation. We've made plans. I'm sorry. We made plans ages ago.

We've been excited for this holiday for a long time, and they only just made it official yesterday. It's the 24th of June. It's my father's birthday. We're going away as a family. I didn't know that your dad's birthday was the day after mine. Yeah, he headlines. He headlines the month of June.

Yeah, I'm the warm-up. You're the warm-up. Yeah, and then August He headlines the month of June. Yeah, I'm the warm-up. You're the warm-up. Yeah, and then August, of course, is pre-pre-warm-up. Yeah, she's the 15th. She's doing the crowd work. Yeah, she's the crowd work, kind of ushering people in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And isn't Niamh?

Niamh, Tarawa, Ardern, Gayford in there too? Yeah, at the time when the Prime Minister was pregnant, I was like, oh, this is... She's going to not crash my birthday. Oh, yeah. How old is Niam's going to not crash my birthday oh yeah how old is Niamh going to be turning this year? four? oh time flies

time flies she's got a little home detention bracelet on too yeah she does because she was involved she helped her father I don't want to say she helped her father I don't want to say

smuggle she was involved in the drug ring that saw Clark she had them in her little you know in the dollhouse she saw Quark. Yeah, she had them in her little, you know. In the dollhouse. Poor control backpan. Yeah.

Yeah. It's crazy. Poor patrol. Growing up in a life of crime, in a household of crime. Well, I mean, I'm actually trying to make a documentary about the entire thing. Oh, yeah. Get the truth out there. Get the truth out there, man.

Get the truth out there, man. Today on the show, Secret Sound, it's a cue jump day today. I know. So 7 o'clock and 8 o'clock, super easy. If you want to jump the cue, we're going to take one listener. You go to the iHeartRadio app and use the mic. Oh, no, don't. This app.

I've learned some more about this app. It's six o'clock in the morning. This iHeartRadio app. Do you get it? It's not a seamless. We don't have to do a seamless. It's i and then a heart and then radio. So it's basically saying, I love radio so much that I can't let go of it

just because I don't have an FM receiver anymore. We don't need to do a seamless mention. I think we've given iHeartRadio so much to work with this week. Yeah, we don't need to do a seamless mention now. But yeah, grab the iHeartRadio app. Listen to ZM. There's a little microphone. Tap that.

Give us your guess. And we could call you back at 7, 8 this morning. And again today at 11, 1, 4, and 5. And the jackpot is staying at $100,000 as well. Tax-free. Do you want to have a... Yeah, tax-free. Tax-free.

Just in case you're worried, you know, end of the financial year and all that. And it's all thanks to Neon. So 7 o'clock the next chance. Get your guess in on the app right now. The top six is coming up. Yeah, Kinder Surprise has been recalled in the UK because of salmonella. Not here.

No. We're fine. No, but in the UK. I don't know. How the hell they get salmonella? Because I don't think there's actually a chocolate chicken that lays these eggs. Where did the eggs come from, Vaughn? Hello?

What, you think they just... Made in a factory? Yeah, come out of the dirt. Downtown. God, you think they're just made in a factory? Yeah, come out of the dirt. God, you're dumb sometimes, eh? Sorry, that was a bit dumb. Of course, there's a chocolate chicken that eats the plastic toys, swallows them whole,

and lays them into a chocolate egg. Right, perfect. And that's why the toys are always plastic, because they pass through completely undigested. Exactly. God, what a effing fool I've been. I mean, obviously someone

has to put the tinfoil on. Oh yeah, that's a human. That's a human. That's a human who does that. They don't come out foiled. They come out all chocolatey. They don't come out foiled. No, no, no.

They come out all slippery and covered in gunk but we clean them up and wrap them in foil. Seriously though, how does a chocolate egg get salmonella? Don't know.

That's odd, eh? I thought that was just a meat thing. Yeah. I don't know, maybe it's a factory that's doing a couple of know. That's odd, eh? I thought that was just a meat thing. Yeah. I don't know, maybe it's a factory that's doing a couple of things. Maybe some nuggets, some chicken nuggets in one area and some Kinder Surprises in the other. Oh, yeah, and there was some cross-contamination.

Maybe the wrapping machine does both. Yeah, maybe. They're just going to give it a what? A tin foil machine. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, we missed it, and it's a crime actually. Okay.

Because yesterday we got a bun me, but we should have been getting a burrito. Yesterday was International Burrito Day. Love a burrito. Why does no one tell us? Why did no one send us burritos? I love a burrito. It feels like old El Paso really dropped the ball here. They have.

Where's the PR? Packaging. Yeah, any Mexican pre-made food packet. Yum. I'll eat good burritos. I'll eat bad burritos. What's that brand in the supermarket, that Mexican food brand? Tia.

Oh, Tia Pablo. Tia Pablo. It's the only way to go. It's so good. Those soft shell tacos, you just give them a little, 10 seconds or a microwave. Or a little bit on the pan. Yeah, in a hot pan.

You've got to get a hot pan. They're the best. Oh, yeah. Always Tia Pabla. What you saw was International Burrito Day, and Menu Log, the ordering app, have confirmed that New Zealanders, we love a Mexican.

And in fact, the amount of Mexican-themed, they're not all authentic, are they? No. Mexican-themed eateries have increased by 285% on the app since March 2021. So in the space of a year, they've added so many more Mexican-themed restaurants. Now, we always opt,

apparently the most popular additions are jalapenos, jalepanos, guacamole and cheese. But as a nation, we don't like it spicy. Which when it comes to Mexican food, is a bit of a crime. Yeah, you've got to have those

hot sauces. If that's you, go to Taco Bell. There's still too many um how do I put this nicely middle aged white woman yeah um

like my mum's terrified of the smell of hot things is she a kiwi mild oh even no she's a kiwi salt yeah even pepper's a bit much

pepper's a bit much for your mum isn't it what's that bit of pepper oh not too much pepper. No, yes. It's madness. Like white pepper.

Maybe a little bit, but cracked pepper. Just pump the brakes there, champ. Well, only 14% of burrito orderers in New Zealand add a spicy sauce, like a spicy salsa or opt for the spicy or add a hot sauce of types. Only 14% of people. That's 86% of us that can't handle the fire. There's way more hot sauce just in general around now. Like even if you go out for breakfast and you're like,

can I get some Tabasco sauce? Always. Yeah, most places are like, yeah. They just used to bring you sweet chilli or a slightly spiced tomato. I love sweet chilli, but love a Tabasco. I put Tabasco in my cocktails. Yeah.

So I'll do like a gin and tonic or like a vodka soda. What? And then I'll put in like a little bit of hot sauce. Like a splash. Get there.

Honestly. And then mix. What? So good. And then you might want to add a little bit of lime juice and like a cucumber in there. I love that it's

12 minutes past six and you're talking about how to make a gin and dry. You're almost taking a boring vodka soda and giving it a margarita splash. I am. Because you've got your lime there for that tangy zestiness. You actually informed me when you were at my house the

other day that I've been looking at this lemon tree all since we owned the house and being like, God damn, when are they going to turn into lemons? What a dud of a tree. Do you have a lime tree? It's a lime tree.

It's huge. Oh my God. And it's not little, it's not baby limes either. They're like hand sized. Oh my God. So I could bring all of us in bags of limes.

Oh my God. I will bring some in. Margaritas. And it's weird that that lime tree's pumped. No, That lime's pumping now. Well, because I didn't even think about it. I was like, ooh, I guess we'll just cut that out

because those lemons are not turning yellow. And then you were like, that's lime. And I took one into the kitchen and I cut it open and it is like big, juicy, sweet, sweet lime. The way you can tell if you don't know is you grab the leaves and you crush them up. Lime will smell like lime and it will smell like lemon, surprisingly. Monday, there's limes coming your way.

Wow, yes. I'm excited. So Wellington Council have signed off on a new skate park. We've already got one. Yeah, there is. Opposite the New World and the Warfans. The Onaway Oriental Bay. So this one.

If you were about to go to Wellington, this is new. It's going to be in Kilbirnie. It's going to be taking over the old Lawn Bowls Club. But this is why the story grabbed my attention. These old people, they're dying. They're dying on record numbers. They can't get down. Give it back to the kids.

It's costing $5.6 million. For a bit of plywood Yeah and I guess It's all concrete Bowls and ramps I always think of the skate ramps You know the ones that are made out of wood Yeah like a half pipe

I flip a deck or two Do you? You know what's up You know what's up with the kids But isn't that like insane? Is that, like, I don't know how much things cost. I don't know. Is it, is that?

But that's lots, eh? Is it costing so much because of the cost of building at the moment? Or is it costing so much because it's going to be air parked? I don't think there's any. It costs ages because you've got to prep the land. There's a whole lot of concrete to be done. You've got to get a design. You've got to get everything bloody signed off these days.

Is it just, I don't know. I'm just one of those people. I'm like, I could do that for at least half the price. You've got to get a design. You've got to get everything bloody signed off these days. Is it just me? I don't know. I'm just one of those people. I'm like, I could do that for at least half the price. Do you want it off the McQuosh? Swoop in and tender. Is that up for tender? Give them a quote. Give them a quote.

I mean, I've got no idea how to do it, but surely it can't cost that much, right? You just create little bumps and lumps for the skaters to jump over and... Bumps and lumps. Bumps and lumps. Get a big concrete truck, smooth it out. Yeah. 100,000. Done. Some old reused doors from the wreckers. It's a very

1990s move, isn't it? Skate park to solve some youth problems. I feel like that's how it was growing up. They were always like, you know what we need? They're out. They're drinking. They're out causing trouble. Let's build a skate park. In Morrisville, we've got a skate bowl. Oh, okay.

Which was very steep and very, like, crazy dangerous. Yeah, only the... Head traumas? Absolutely. Only the best skaters could use it. Yeah, right. But they had nowhere to build up their skills to use it. So it was kind of this weird, huge hole in the ground.

And then in autumn, because it was surrounded by massive oak trees, they'd drop all their leaves and block up the bottom. So then when it rained, it just turned into this huge swamp. Swamp. It was a wild,

I'm pretty sure it's still there. If you're in Lawrenceville, let me know. Right by the pools, right by the pools, right in the wreck ground when you're driving around the wreck ground there.

There's this huge skate bowl. It's just a pond now, is it? Yeah. And all the kids that were that good at skating spent all their time skating anyway. So they weren't the loiterers. rec ground there. There's a huge skate bowl. It's just a pond now, is it? Yeah, and all the kids that were that good at skating spent all their time skating anyway,

so they weren't the loiterers. Yeah, right. And it really didn't achieve what it set out to achieve. Yeah, right. Because I remember

when the Wellington one was built, when that whole waterfront area by Te Papa was redone and it's always popular. Oh, yeah.

I went, There's a little There's just a little Half pipe In the QMU rugby club Where the people Play cricket And I always walk through it

And the other day I saw a guy then He was listening to heavy metal And I was like Oh look at this Disgruntled youth Yeah And then as we got closer

The song finished And the next song On his playlist Was ELO's Mr Blue Sky Oh that is the happiest Song of all time Ding ding ding ding ding, ding.

And I was like, I love this guy. Yeah, so we walked by and I was like, good song, bro. And he was like, shut up, old lady. Yeah, glory be. From the sophisticated ZM Think Tank, this is the top six. Kind of surprise. A rather average tasting chocolate with a shitty toy in the middle. But there's something about it.

Something about it. Yeah. Well, overseas Kinder Surprise eggs have been recalled over salmonella fears. Yeah, so no worries here in New Zealand. Yeah. But this is the problem. This is the headline. Kinder Surprise chocolate eggs recalled over salmonella fears.

It doesn't say anywhere that it's overseas. It's the ones made in a Belgian factory have been recalled and there's no problems with New Zealand ones apparently. Right. New Zealand urge to be cautious. Okay, so if you get salmonella, it's too late though. Are the Bueno bars all right? Same factory, you imagine?

Same factory. Well, it's the same producer, isn't it? But factory, you imagine? Same factory. Well, it's the same producer, isn't it? But again, the chicken's not involved. Oh, the chicken's not involved in the Bueno bar. I can't see where they're, you know, laying the blame. No, not laying the eggs. Laying the blame. Laying the blame for the salmonella.

Right. Well, they won't admit it. Because this is the first time I've ever heard of a chocolate being recalled because of salmonella. Right. Well, they won't admit it. Because this is the first time I've ever heard of a chocolate being recalled because of salmonella. Yeah. Maybe someone was eating a chicken wrap while they were in the factory watching the eggs go past.

The chicken fell out into the mix of the chocolate and they're like, oh dear. Or someone took their pet chicken to work and they shouldn't have. Bring your pet to work day. Ran an absolute muck. And they meant't have. Bring your pet to work day. And it ran an absolute muck. And they meant dogs, but someone put their chicken away. You can't be discriminatory if you're going to say bring your pet to work day. You've got to accept all pets from all walks of life.

Well, I've got the top six surprises you don't want in your kid's kinder. Yeah. Number six on the list, razor blades. Oh, God. There was always that the Hydra Slide razor blade urban legend. Oh, my God, yes. Did you ever have that? Yeah, yeah.

They've put razor blades at the bottom. There's always, every Halloween, razor blades in the apples. In the apples? Yeah. Like if you're bobbing for apples. No, if someone gives you like a toffee. That wouldn't have got me as a kid. I took a toffee apple or something.

It was always like, don't take the fruit. Yeah, I always just cracked all the toffee off a toffee apple. I ate the toffee apple or something. It was always like, don't take the fruit. Yeah, I always just cracked all the toffee off a toffee apple. I ate the toffee, forgot the apple. Yeah. Because the apple was the worst bit and it's gone off. Yeah. It's gross. Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six surprises you don't want in your kid's kinder are

drugs. Oh yeah. Yeah, probably don't want that. Yeah, I'll give those to me for disposal later. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six surprises you don't want in your kid's kinder surprise, an actual egg. It'd just be weird. How long's it been in there? Imagine biting into

it. Would it be hard-boiled? I mean, that would last a little bit longer, but still, it's not going to work. That's the salmonella part, isn't it? Yeah, that would be where you'd totally get that from. Number three on the list of the top six surprises you don't want on your kid's kinder, asbestos. Nobody wants their kid chewing on asbestos.

Nobody wants that. Does it puff of dust as you bite it? Yeah, just crack it open, rip open that little plastic egg. All this glittery dust everywhere. This is like the snow they used on Wizard of Oz. Number two on the list of the top six surprises you don't want on your kid's kinder, and this would be a surprise, they used tissue. Ew.

Stuffed in there. Still moist. Yuck. And number one on the list of the top six surprises you don't want on your kid's kinder, a baby dinosaur, like an actual egg. Oh, yeah. You crack it open and a baby dinosaur jumps out, because now it's just under the mouth of feed.

What do you do? Do you tell someone, or do you keep it open and a baby dinosaur jumps out. Because now that's just another mouth to feed. What do you do? Do you tell someone? Or do you keep this dinosaur and raise it as your own? Is it a herbivore or a carnivore? Herbivore. I'm keeping it. Little pet. I've got the grass.

I've got the trees. Your neighbours would love to call the police if they saw a bloody T-Rex in the backyard. Yeah. Speaking of which, Auckland Museum's getting a T-Rex. Oh, yeah. I think today. Is it today? Yeah, today's the first day

of the T-Rex skeleton. And I don't ever go to the museum, but today, or like, I want to go. The Memorial Museum. No, the big one in the Domain. Yeah, Bruce Wayne.

Yeah, that one. Wayne Manor. Wayne Manor on the hill. Oh, I think I've got to go. I know. It's the most complete T-Rex skeleton ever. Because there are only a few in the world, right? Yeah, well, after that one got smashed at Jurassic Park.

Ironically by a T-Rex. Oh, I know. God, they're clumsy, eh, T-Rexes? I don't reckon it's going to be as big as I think it's going to be. I think they're pretty big. Nah, but you think they're big. And then you're going to be there and you're going to be like, as I think it's going to be. I think they're pretty big. Nah, but you think they're big. And then you're going to be there and you're going to be like, I'm a little disappointed.

You think the T-Rex is going to have Mona Lisa energy? Yeah, it's going to be like the Mona Lisa. It doesn't have big Rex energy. Yeah, okay. What's the ones with the big... Brachiosaurus. That's my favourite. I love the Brachiosaurus.

Barocca gives you back your baby. Brocasaurus. No, Brocasaurus. You have one in your water every morning. Yeah, orange. Bright orange. That's why they're called Brocas. Named after the bright orange dinosaur.

Brocasaurus. Brocasaurus. Yeah. That is today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Something's going to be bad in primary schools. And that thing... Fizzy drinks and sugary drinks. I thought they were.

So you can't have a fizzy drink machine. A vending machine? A vending machine. But you can still take fizzy drinks. Oh, right. That was up to the school's discretion. Right, it's BYO. Because when did that ban happen?

That was ages ago, right? I don't know. But then I thought it got overturned because I thought that happened ages ago and then they overturned it. Maybe that was somewhere in America. Right. So you're saying, is this just primary school

or all schools? Primary schools. So you're telling me now at primary school you can't have fizzy drink or gamble? Well, what? What? Well, it depends what you're gambling on. How are the kids going to make their money?

You're allowed to, I mean, I think every primary school still has a TAB. Oh, that's good. But you can't gamble on like illegal chicken fights. Right, right. Dog fighting. Cage fighting, dog fighting, et cetera. But you can put your pocket money on a bloody couple of GGs down at Stratham. Couple of GGs down at Stratham.

Trentham. Trentham. Race through Trentham. Stratford. Stratford or Trentham. Either or. Couple of bucks on a couple of GGs. Right.

But the kids will just have to drink water instead of fizzy. Yes. Water, milk, or non-dairy milk substitutes. Like an almond. Oh my God. Or an oat milk. Get a grip. Imagine taking a soy. Imagine taking a soy to school.

Oh my God, I've got my so good soy here. Be ripped to bits. When I was in primary school, because I did go to a private high school, but I went to a public primary school. It was an Eastbourne though. How did you? Oh yeah. It was an Eastbourne though. How did you, right, okay. It was an Eastbourne. How did you fare?

Well, we had jolly drinks. Those little ones. Little $1 bottles. We've only just stopped getting those at family Christmas. We always get like a 24 slab of those. Your lemonade goes pretty quick. Your rip-off cola goes pretty quick. Yeah, that goes down with a rum late in the night.

Yeah, mum, I have a raspberry. I'd stretch my legs on a lime. Yeah, you'd love a lime. I'd love a lime. You would love a lime. Love a lime jolly. And the orange just sits in the cooler all day. No one wants that.

Nah. Yeah, I remember jolly drinks. You could order, my school was called Muratai School, and it was called Muratai Munchies, and you could order your giant cookie, a pie, and a jolly drink. That's a combo. You'd get Muratai Munchies on a Friday. That's a, your giant cookie, a pie and a jolly drink. That's a combo. You get Murutai Munchies on a Friday. That's a hell of a combo.

That's a sugar heavy combo. Yeah, mate. And then you have a little sleep. No kids go into a canteen ordering a water, are they? No. No. At my high school, we had the tuck shop, but we didn't have fizzy drinks.

I remember the water out of the bubble taps. We called them bubble taps. Drinking fountains? Yeah. Bubble taps? At school, tasting like shit, if you'll excuse my language. Well, you lived in Morrinsville. It called them bubble taps. Drinking fountains? Yeah. Bubble taps? At school, tasting like shit, if you like. Well, you lived in Morrinsville. It was probably lead pipes.

Yeah, it was probably mixed in with cow poo. Did you have okay bubble taps? Yeah, we had San Pellegrino. Oh, so you had a glug-glug machine? Yeah, San Pellegrino and champagne. That was the only bubbles allowed at our school, at high school. Yeah, so champagne for the last two years. Well, it's just you can't have oysters without champagne.

So if you were going to order the oysters at the tuck shop... Oh, you'd be mad. You'd have to get a... It was no Dom Perignon. It was like a Moet or something like that. I could imagine your common room was like walking into the viaduct in Auckland. Our common room at Queen Margaret College was an old renovated villa. And that's not without a word.

It was called Hobby House. Because we were on Hobson Street. How many rooms did it have? It was like a villa but they'd opened up the bottom and they had little rooms and stuff. They had a couple of classrooms in it. But that was our like little dorm room. It was Hobby House. Gorgeous villa. So it's not

just fizzy drinks but it's like sugary drinks. I took like cordial to school every single day. Raro. Yeah, Raro or Refresh or whatever, you know, was on special at Three Guys that week when mum did the shopping. That's also going to be like a no-go. What if you have a sugar-free?

Would that be all right? What I'm saying is colour-free. Colour-free. Yes. Because that was what became a big thing. It's the colour that's making the kids crazy. Not the fact that this is like 98% sugar. So they took the colour out of it.

Right. So all of us kids gave each other a wink, wink, nudge, nudge, let's behave ourselves and keep drinking the sweet syrup. So you'd probably be able to loophole it by going colour free. The other thing you could do is like take a six pack of cola and on like a Sunday, dig a hole in the field

or the sand pit. You're going to explore here. And then yeah like explore a festival. Or like the Great Depression. Yeah and then cover it over and then on your lunch break everyone sits around and you dig it up and you all have a cola and it's like

earth temperature too. What about yeah you've got that but then you're going to have to share temperature too. What about, yeah, you've got that, but then you're going to have to share with everybody. What if you one weekend took down a fake rock and in the back installed a safe? So only you knew the combo. Oh, like where you put a key. Yes.

Open it up, one can, shut, six packs going to do you a week and you're going to have one for bargaining. This is all quite a lot to ask of someone who's at primary school, like a 10-year-old. Well, if they really want it, they'll do it. I want to see some entrepreneurial spirit in the youth of today, you know? Yeah. Keeping up to date with the news just became a little easier.

As it heralds new podcasts, the front page is your short, sharp daily news podcast. Join me, Damien Venuto, every weekday morning as I chat with journalists and newsmakers going behind the headlines to break down what you need to know on the biggest news stories of the day. Listen to the front page at nzherald.co.nz slash podcasts and follow us on iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, today's Silly Little Poll all about breaking up with people over text. Is it okay to break up with someone over text? Overwhelmingly, 90% of people said,

yeah, suck it. No, they didn't. I was like, what? They said, no, it is not okay to break up with someone over text. But that means 10% of people did. And how many people voted in this, Carween? Do we have the actual numbers of how many? Oh, yes.

I want to know. Because we always get way more results than when we read out other studies and findings. I know. They surveyed 500 people. We're getting the thousands. It's probably close to a million, I'd say. Yeah. What is it, Carwen?

Yeah, for sure. So 5,395 for nah and 577 votes for yeah. That means 577 people. Jesus. That's madness. That means 577 people. Jesus. That's wild, isn't it? Absolute madness. Hey, Aaron. Oh, you see, I think when you're engaged,

I think those people that voted yes early, maybe just some casual hookups, and maybe they've started showing signs that they want it to be more serious and that's not what you're into. Maybe then text is acceptable. That would be okay, right? Yeah.

Whereas if you've been with someone for like years and years and years and years and you're engaged and you have a house together, maybe not. Oh, okay. I'll just delete that. You're a piece of trash.

I'll make it a phone call later. No, my mum always, we were always raised, if there was anything serious that you had to say, we were forced to pick up the phone. So if we got in trouble or had to get out of something, we were never allowed to do it indirectly.

Yeah. As teenagers, we were like, you have to call them, or face-to-face. Yeah, face-to-face. Or even worse, if you had to do something bad, any time I had to tell my marching coach something, you had to knock on her door. If you text her, you were out.

Oh, wow. Okay. Unacceptable. If you had something to say like, oh, I can't be at training on Sunday, you had to go to her house in Newtown. Oh, was that her rule? Yeah. And knock on her door and say, it's Colleen.

Then there'd always be little kids coming around saying, I can't come to practice. No, adults. Adults. Teenagers and adults. Well, even still. Yeah, I know. It's annoying, people coming around. Well, I think she's probably trying to deter you from not turning up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the and adults. Well, even still. Yeah, I know. It's annoying people coming around. Well, I think she's probably trying to deter you from not turning up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the idea there. Some feedback. Josh said, generally no, but if they're a massive dick, then yes, text is acceptable because you don't want to have to deal with them in person. Yeah, fair point. Oh, yeah, like if they've been such a dick. Yeah, yeah.

You actually don't want to see them again. Like they cheated on you and you're like Yeah, yeah. You actually don't want to see them again. Like they cheated on you and you're like, it's over. I don't want to see you again. That kind of thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Mel says, it's a gutless way to do it to text somebody and it causes more pain than is needed. Yeah.

Liv said, it's acceptable if you're 12 years old or younger. Anything older than that, it's more of an in-person conversation that needs to be had. Katie, if it's been a week and one Tinder date, then sure, but probably not if we're talking 10 years of commitment and marriage. Yeah, I think that's what most people are saying, eh?

Divorce via text. Sarah said, yes, it's just faster. And in her profile picture on Instagram, she's in a wedding dress. Look out, hubby. Instagram, she's in a wedding dress. So... Look out, hubby. She's out. Taylor said you can get all of your true feelings and reasons out without being interrupted or clouded by emotion.

But you should probably then have a face-to-face conversation afterwards. No, you're just going to write little notes down. Take a speech. Walk in and have a Weet-Bix box cut into cue card size. Like you're just going to Write little notes down Take a speech Walk in And then call them Have a Weet-Bix box Cut into cue card sites Like you're in class

Doing your speech Dear Vaughan Wow We've had some fun huh Is this supposed to be Interactive or am I Just sitting here listening I don't think I know

Where this is going However Okay Me and my boyfriend Of five years Broke up by text Oh that's not cool. I rate it because we didn't have to look at each other.

So that sounds mutual. Yeah, if you both knew it was over. But still, that's pretty shitty. Don't they say if you are in a relationship and you need to have a serious conversation, but you're non-confrontational, do it in the car because you both have to look forward? Yes.

Yeah, but then they could also like grab the handbrake, pull that on, grab the steering wheel, like spin you into oncoming traffic. Yeah, or any given moment if you want to leave the room, you've got to tuck and roll. Tuck and roll. Which is hard at 100 kilometres an hour. Yeah.

That's bloody hard. And Kelly said, my friend got dumped over text, shared her AirPods in and Siri said, you've received a new message and read it out to me. Oh! Wow. That's brutal. Bryn got dumped over text. She had her AirPods in and Siri said, you've received a new message and read it out to me. Wow. That's brutal. That's brutal.

So overwhelmingly, no, if you're going to break up with someone, don't do it over text. This is very silly. This comes out of Essex. A man, a homeowner. Yeah. He's 24 years old,

but he does own his own home. Answered the door. It was a knock, knock, knock at the door. And it was a conservative candidate, a Tory candidate. Is that their national party? Yes. Called the Conservatives. He's knocking on the doors trying to get people's votes.

He's trying to say, hey, this is what I'm going to do for the community. He knocks on the door and he goes, hi, mum and dad in? And this guy's like, no, I live here. This is my house. And he said, oh, you own the home. And then he just has to like backtrack and recoil because he thought he was young. Now, to be fair, he's got this 24-year-old man, Stephen.

Yeah. Lovely looking guy, baby face on him, and he's 5'3". So he's a short dude. Oh, no. I'd imagine height would come into this a lot with people estimating people's ages. Yes, totally. I mean, we had Kim Crossman on, have you been paying attention,

last night, and she's older than me. She's in her mid-30s. Yeah, I know, because Kim's been on the scene for ages. Honestly, she's just gorgeous. She'd get ID'd. She'd get ID'd everywhere. All the time, but she's so, yeah, she's a super short, petite gal. But this, honestly, the guy, and then the conservative guy

tries to give him a spiel and he just can't listen to him. He's in hysterics. He's just giggling. Mum and Dad home? How old does that make him? Under 18. I mean, I guess, you know, you want to look young, don't you?

As you get older. But you don't want to look six. But you don't want to look six. Yeah, you don't want to be, have people asking for mum and dad. That's his face. I'll show you guys. It's a cute look.

He's a gorgeous looking man. That's his girlfriend there. Would you have, if you were knocking on the door, would you have said that? I would have assumed that he looks old enough to be flatting. Looks old enough to vote. Yeah.

Oh, absolutely. Mum and dad in. Oh, you live here. Sorry. It's so funny. So this has got me laughing so much. And we want to ask you, when did someone get your age? Just extremely wrong.

Yeah, either for the good or... For the good or the bad. Yeah. They over-aged you, they under-aged you. And beyond, you know, getting ID'd, because I'm 32 and I still get ID'd. At the booze counter. At the booze counter.

It's never going to happen for me, ever. But I imagine it's only a matter of time until it happens to my wife, when our daughters are a little bit older and she's out with them. And they're the same height? They're the same height. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

People think they're sisters. Yeah, absolutely. She's going to love that. She's going to love that. Although then it'll be annoying. But then she'll have to come home. I'll have to mow her down at the knees because I don't want her getting too carried away

by this bloody looking young carry. Oh, absolutely. Maybe if you're listening, you might be like Cher, you know, and you've had so much work done that people, you know, think you're 40 and you're actually, how might be like Cher, you know, and you've had so much work done that people, you know, think you're 40 and you're actually, how old is she now, 80? 70 something, 73.

She was 74 last summer. I love it when you read those things. She's 75. Yeah. It's like a photo of her in her 20s and then a photo of her in her 70s and they're like, age is just a number. And everyone's like, dude, she is made of plastic. Yeah, it's a number of how much you can afford.

So how badly do people get your age wrong? Maybe you're dealing with this all the time. Maybe it's for your benefit and you get cheaper movies or discounts because you're, I don't know, getting kids admission to stuff. 0800 dials at M, give us a call. You can text as well, 9696. How wrong did someone

get your age? It's wetter weather today. Also a great song by The Neighbourhood. But today, chilly start. Currently the coldest place in the country.

East Rangitike. Oh yeah, they grow good chicken there. No, I know. Eastern Rangitike. I don't know about the chickens. Rangitike? Hayley, help. Because it's not the Rangatai Kai. I don't know about the chickens. Rangatai Kai? There's a lot. Hayley, help.

Because it's not the Rangatai Kai district, is it? No, you're right. Rangatai Kai. Rangatai Kai. Where is that? That's not Rangatai Kai. I thought it was Rangatai Kai. I've never heard of it.

It's minus 3.1 degrees there right now. Oh, mummy, that's blanket weather. Also, chilly starts around the country. Rotorua currently 2, Taupo 3, Napier 5, Master. Also, chilly starts around the country. Ototuru are currently two. Taupo are three. Napier, five. Masterton, four. And five in Timaru. And, yes, she's a chilly start to the day.

I saw someone on their, one of my friends on their story last night had a fire going. Oh. In, like, Wellington. I was like, wild. I do love a fire. I know. Taupo District. Rangitaiki.

Oh, yeah, it gets cold. Rangitaiki. Yeah. So, currently minus three there. And Taupo are in townangitaiki. Oh, yeah, it gets cold. Rangitaiki. Yeah. So currently minus three there, and Taupo in town, three degrees at the moment. But yeah, four degrees in Hamilton as well. Those are the chilliest spots around the country. The warmest place at the moment, 16 in Auckland.

You definitely feel it this morning, though. It was definitely colder. The floorboards, you could feel that they were 144 years old and full of holes. Is someone regretting their cottage? Creepers, creepers. Right now, though, talking about a man in the UK who answered the door to a politician

who asked where his parents were. He's 24. He's the homeowner of this property as well. Are parents home, mum and dad in? And he's like, no, I am the homeowner of this property. We want to know when someone's got your age really wrong. Tash, what happened? So what they did, we went to the alcohol store,

New World, as you do to buy alcohol, and they ID everyone. Yeah. And I'm there with my daughter, and so same thing, she's almost my height, maybe a couple of centimetres shorter than me. And with the whole mask thing, then I was like, oh, can we ID you too?

And she's looking at me like, huh? And I was like, oh, can we ID you too? And she's looking at me like, huh? And I was like, no, no, that's my daughter. And they're like, oh, we're so sorry. She just looks your age. I'm like,

nah, she's only 14. So who's, is your daughter insulted or are you complimented with this? I don't know because it happens all the time. It's just like, oh yeah, we need your ID.

And it's just like, she's not old enough to even have ID. Yeah, she has no need for ID. Yeah. So you must look young then. I had it when I was 16. Right. But the years haven't been kind to me. You can tell I am

older than her. I've got the wrinkles. Wow. But then it happened at school too, so trying to enrol her at high school, they wouldn't let me do it because they thought I was her older sister. They're like, no, no, a parent or guardian

needs to enrol her. Oh my gosh. Tash, take the compliment. You don't even show them you can go. What wrinkles? This one came out of me. Yeah, Tash, thanks for your call. Tash, dear me, when did somebody confuse your age?

Get it wrong. Good morning. Well, it was a while ago. My son was 15. He is now 33. Yeah. The dog was knocking off and there was a knock at the door at like 4 o'clock in the morning. So I've been an amputee. I'm on my knees when

I open the door. Okay. And this lady turned around and she said where is your mum? And I said why? And she goes because we want our daughter back. And I went excuse me? What? I said how do you know your daughter is here?

And she goes well these, these are shoes. She was in bed with my son. And you're an amputee, so forgive my ignorance. I mean, it's pretty amputated below the knee. Is that what makes you short? Yes, yes. And because I was on my knees, I'd just gotten out of bed for the knock on the door. Oh, they thought you were a door. Yeah, it's a five-minute.

Oh, they thought you were a child. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. I want my daughter back. Oh, wow. Did you give them their daughter back? Yeah, he kind of had to, eh? I would have totally kept playing the kid role.

I don't know where my mummy is. I swoon, she's down at the pub. I had two A's. I would have totally kept playing the kid role. I don't know where my mummy is. I have swooshies down the pub. Debbie, thanks. You called some messages in. I was watching my friend's hockey game. We were in our early 20s, and a man asked me which one was my daughter.

That's insulting, because that's assuming you're older than you are. Much, much older. I was getting a kitchen designed and when the guy came around, he was measuring up the kitchen. Not the guy I'd been dealing with, the guy that came and did all the measuring. And he said, you have got your landlord's permission to get this kitchen done.

For a start, who's renting a house and putting a kitchen in it? Yeah. Oh, you'd be surprised. That's crazy. My 30-year-old husband got asked for ID at the liquor store. He's never lived it down. And every now and then he tries to play it off as a compliment, but no.

I'm 5'1", my 13-year-old son's 6'. My 11-year-old is 5'2", and my 10-year-old is almost my height. My 4-year-old is half my height. And so we get mistaken as siblings all the time because I'm in the mix of their heights. Yes. I don't like it because I enjoy being a mum. Kids think it's hilarious,

but when we're out with my husband, everybody thinks this solo dad's taking his five kids out. Oh, isn't that lovely? I tell you what, when you need to go up the gondola, you're definitely a kid. You're definitely a kid. Dad goes up and sees five kids. Yeah, five kids, one adult. You're definitely a kid. Dad goes up and sees five kids. Yeah.

Five kids, one adult. We went on a girls' trip. We were headed down south, stopped at a service station, got out. One of the girls went in, and apparently the attendant said to her, now where did your daughter and her friends get their hair done? Oh, no. To one of the girls on the girls' trip. Oh, that's not, yeah.

Who's been identified as the mum of the group. That's not going down well. Somebody has messaged in asking if executive intern Anya can tell a story about the chemist. Yes, because I don't know this one, Anna. What's the, what happened? It's honestly like one of the low points of my life. She did say after this,

I don't really want to talk about this again. And then, oh, I didn't hear that. No, it's fine. It's fine. Bring me in. This was probably four or five years ago. I don't really want to talk about this again. Oh, I didn't hear that. No, it's fine. It's fine. Oh, okay. Bring me in. This was probably four or five years ago. I had a mole cut out on my leg.

So I went next door into the chemist, handed over the prescription, and was kind of hobbling around. I was obviously in comfy clothes. I was actually wearing a Karen the Cat T-shirt, R.I.P., and had leggings on, messy bun. I'll be honest, I wasn't looking like a 10. Anyway, handed over the prescription, went and sat down in the waiting chair. And then my boyfriend, who was parking the car at the time, came back in.

He was in a grey polo shirt and some black shorts. And the chemist lassie said, are you looking for mum? Wait, so you said this was like four or five years ago, so you would have been like 21 or something. Oh my God. Yeah. And he looked over at me and then looked back at her and just didn't really know what to say.

So I was like, yep. It's the final ranking. what to say so I was like yep now we did clarify over the break pastry is a dough of flour fat and water so usually

like pastry is a butter yeah added butter so you've got puff pastry flaky pastry, short crust. Yum. Da-da-da-da-da.

What about a lard pastry though? So today, final rankings. That'd be so yum. We are rating our favourite pastries. Yes. Like as in like a Danish pastry or just like pastries. No, no, no, no. Like you've got to put it into a shame.

Filo, short, puff, flaky. I'm going puff on top. Puff on flaky. No, like a type. I'll go first to set the scene. Okay. In third, I'll round out my top three.

I'm going to go a almond croissant. Oh, really? Just something about the almond-y and when it's real warm and that oozy almond-ness in the middle. Yeah.

That's a bit of me. I'd put a fair bit of blame on the almond pastry for the great weight gain of 2015. Absolutely. I'm going to put it at the absolute foot of the almond croissant. Yeah, absolutely. I'm going to say no to them. And then above that, I'm going to go in a Claire. Oh, I love a chocolate eclair.

A chocolate eclair filled with creme pat, creme patisserie. And then my number one, and I cannot resist this whenever I go to like a French bakery, which is often, I'm pretty fancy, a tarte au citron. A lemon tart. A lemon tart. Why didn't you just say lemon tart? Because it's called tarte au citron. It's a citron tart of citron.

The car, the citron. Is it like a lemon? Is that what that translates to? Yes, C-I-T-R-O-N. Citron, It's a citron tart of citron. The car, the citron. Is it like a lemon? Is that what that translates to? Yeah, C-I-T-R-O-N. Citron, isn't it? Yeah, I'm going lemon tart on top, you know, with like a nice sweet short pastry crust on the bottom and that kind of soft lemon.

Did you like baking, did you have this passion for this sort of stuff before bake-off or did that really like... That really awoke it because you watch people make pastry, like watching people make choux pastry is insane. What is choux pastry? Choux pastry is weird.

Choux pastry is like what an eclair is in. Oh, yum. It's kind of a wet pastry and you bake it and it puffs up. Am I allowed to pack a cinnamon scroll

with icing on top? No, because that's a bread. Because the scroll is made of choux. She's got your bread. She's got absolute checkmate on your bread. Oh, but that's a bread. Because the scroll is made of... She's got your own bread. No, she's got absolute checkmate on your bread. Oh, but that's the only one I like. Because that's not a pastry.

Because it's not made with butter and fat. It's a bread. A bread base. Well, that is going to be my top three. Cinnamon scroll. Cinnamon scroll. Cinnamon and apple scroll. Oh, you baste.

And then cinnamon scroll. Okay, what about... I want to put profiteroles on the table. Yum. That is a hell of a pastry. Sort of a mini bite-sized eclair, right? So that's a choux pastry? That's a choux.

Yeah, I love profiteroles. Shout out to Den Heath Desserts in Timaru who make an amazing custard square. But last time they sent us custard squares, they sent us profiteroles and they were just like yum, yum, yum. So you'd like that? What about a millefeuille? You know, that's like the layers of puff, custard, puff, yum, yum, yum. So you'd like that? What about a millefeuille? You know, that's like the layers of puff, custard, puff, custard, puff, custard cream. Oh, yeah, that could be yum. Fancy.

Auntie Eve, I messaged, I said about Auntie Eve. She makes custard squares. She's from Timorese. She makes custard squares. And I said, how you still talk about them. And she said she was so disappointed with that batch. She feels like you've only experienced half custard. Sub-half custard squeeze.

Tell her to step it up. She will. I want to put the warning out. What about like a ham and cheese croissant? Love that. Yeah, I love a savoury, almond croissant up there. Like, oh my God, you get a sweet one and it's like honey or something that's holding the almond bits to the croissant.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what's your top three? You're going profiteroles? Chocolate eclairs. If I can get specific, I want to go more specific than just eclairs. I want to go chocolate eclairs, almond croissant, profiterole. Wow, you really love choux pastry. I'm just going chocolate eclair, my top three.

Chocolate eclair, chocolate eclair. You're not a croissant boy. Because I'm not really. What about a madeleine? Because, you know, I've been, you know, Danish pastry is famous. Danish is a yum. Danish is Danish pastry. Put a Danish on the list.

Yeah, they're yum. A little custody bowl in the middle and some fruit. There was another thing I had when I was in Danish, Copenhagen. When I was in Danish land. When I was in Danish land. When I was in Danish land. But I've just Googled and that's actually a shortbread. Do you know what I reckon you are? You're a Pano Rezan kind of guy.

I do a Pane Chocolat. You're a Pano Rezan. Sometimes I get a bit of a Pane Chocolat. Yeah, basic though. No, see, I'm just not a fan. I don't know. You can talk yourself into thinking they're not as bad because they're not filled with chocolate.

They've just got a little chocolate streak. I just love icing on things. Macarons? That's a pastry? Not macaroons, eh? No. You can talk yourself into thinking they're not as bad because they're not filled with chocolate. They've just got a little chocolate streak. I just love icing on things. Macarons, that's a pastry. Not macaroons, eh? No, not macaroons. That's a coconut chocolate biscuit. What's Maroon 5? It's a pastry.

That's a puff pastry. It's a puff pastry. Okay, great. All right, so universally loved puff pastry, Maroon 5. Right. So what are we settling on as our number one? I think we're going anything made out of choux pastry. Your eclairs.

Your cream pat filled eclairs with a bit of chocolate on top. Somebody, and I believe them to be wrong, but may require explanation on this. They said they were of the understanding croissants were bread. No, because it's a pastry made out of butter. Butterflour water. Yeah. Don't come at me. I'm the host of the Great Kiwi Bake Off.

She knows her. What's a brioche then? That's a bread. I'm the host of the Great Kiwi Bake Off. She knows her. What's a brioche then? That's a bread. Oh, yeah, that's a bread, right? That's a bread. That's a yum bread. It's a rolled bread.

Because that would usually have like a yeast. Right. A yeast element. A yeast element. Okay, gotcha. So what are we settling on? Chocolate eclairs.

Choux pastry, yeah. Chocolate eclairs. Chocolate eclairs. Chocolate eclairs. Profiteroles. Profiteroles. Chocolate eclairs. Play ZM's Fletchlairs. Profita rolls. Profita rolls. Chocolate eclairs. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

I think we've seen this one coming a mile away. Thanks to the likes of Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker or Hayley Bieber and Justin Bieber. Oh, you know the worst? Machine Gun Kelly. He's like... With Megan Fox and she's like Lick my mouth They're calling it

Power PDA And it's back The return of the PDA The return of Public displays of affection When was PDA last big? The Early 2000s

You don't want to say Late 90s, early 2000s Never Well if you think about Like the early 2000s Red carpets right The Grammys and stuff. It was insane.

People were going naked. Didn't Angelina Jolie smooch her brother? Smooch her brother. Like a big kind of wet kiss on the lips. Way too wet a kiss for a sibling kiss. It was too wet. Far too mouth-centric. Well, this is Bumble.

Bumble said they predicted PDA making a comeback way back. And it's finally arrived. It's the year of power PDA. Are they saying why is it because of the pandemic? Yeah. That we've been locked up, we want to get out and show our affection. Well, they had a stat that was 65% of Kiwi Bumble users are open to public displays of affection now post pandemic. And that's because we just haven't been able to get each other,

you know. So now that we're, you know, vaccine rates are up and we're out and about and soon we'll be taking our masks off, everyone's making the most of it and having a... In public. We smudge. I'm not down. Are you a big PDA-er?

We'll hold hands, but no, we'll never have a... Have a kiss. No, we never like mack out on the street or anything when we're hanging out that's good it doesn't, yeah it's weird that it's like a thing that's like, I don't know in fashion, it's in fashion

that's the thing, it's not just like a choice about like oh we can't keep our hands off each other it's like, it's a calculated sort of move definitely is with, like you say, Machine Gun Kelly and Travis Barker and stuff, like when they stop in the red carpet in the photo bit to have photos, they're like tongue out, laughing at like a dog thirsty for water.

Yeah, are they just happy they've got a really hot girlfriend and hot missus and they're like, I've got to show this off? Anyway, they're- And then everyone's copying them? Yeah, that's it. Wow. I've got to show this off. And then everyone's copying them. Yeah, that's it. I mean, they're trendsetters, Hollywood. And the new trend is power PDA. So get out there and grope and kiss.

Work the tongue. Publicly. Start doing some tongue kegels. Yeah, some tongue exercises. Because that tongue's going to be really pulling. What was that? That was a tongue exercise. It was a plank.

A tongue plank. Less lip, more tongue. Yuck. It's just all tongue. ZM's $100,000 secret sound. Q Jump Friday. Soundkeeper Owls joins us in studio. It's a Q Jump Friday.

Yesterday you announced that the jackpot's staying at $100,000. Correct. You're so kind. I know. Just sprinkling it out. It's not like it's her money. What? Can we pretend?

And the way the Q Jump works, and we're going to do this for every guest today, is you open up the iHeartRadio app, you listen to ZM. Down the bottom, there is a little microphone. Now, yesterday on the show, we actually demonstrated how this worked. Yes, I did. I opened up the iHeartRadio app,

I tapped the microphone, and I left a message with my guests. Hi. I think I know what the secret sound is. Is it the sound of my leg hairs being waxed out at a rapid pace? My name's Hayley. My name's Hayley. My name's Hayley. That's all you need to do.

It's that easy. It's that easy. Yeah. Well, Kirsten did this as well yesterday. Good morning, Kirsten. Hello. Hello. All right, let's have a listen to your voice memo.

Hi, ZM. My name is Kirsten. I think the secret sound is somebody lighting a match on the side of a matchbox. Thanks. Bye. Ooh. Save few matches. I think the secret sound is somebody lighting a match on the side of a matchbox thanks bye oh safety matches yeah that's a good guess it is because it does have

some kind of a to it I can't light a match what do you mean I just can't do it why are you scared no I'm not scared

just like they either snap or they don't lie. Oh, you're putting too much pressure on. Let the match do the work. You've got to just lean into it. Yeah, and you're putting too much pressure on yourself too. Yeah, thank you. I needed to hear that.

Relax, take a deep breath. Kirsten, this is a good guess. Thank you. How does it work in with the clues though? Well, I think from the beginning, the whole office clue was that great scene where he's evacuating everyone out because there's a fire going on in the office.

A few people have thought that. And then the other one I thought was like yellow jackets, like the fire people in New Zealand wear yellow jackets. That's my other theory. Wow. She's put some thought into this one. She has. And what would you do with $100,000?

Well, I'm going to Queenstown this weekend with my grandparents, so I would take them out for dinner. Oh, that's so gorgeous. Where would you take them? I'd go to Blue Canoe. You've got to go to Margo's. Margo's for a margarita and a couple of warm-up tacos. Yeah, and then head to Blue Canoe.

Blue Canoe to absolutely blow out and let you, got all the best laid plans in the world that you'd be too full. And go to the Remarkable Sweet Shop and get free samples of all the fudges. And then she's got the money. She's got the money. She's got the money.

Yeah, yeah. Get that economy going, you know? You guys are so funny with food. I'm so jealous. Oh, my gosh. Let's go to Queenstown. We'd love to eat. Let's go to Queenstown.

Yeah, I'm keen. Okay. Kristen? Yeah. Kirsten. Kirsten. Oh, eat. Yeah, I'm keen. Okay. Kirsten? Yeah. Kirsten. Oh, sorry. I get mixed up. Kirsten Dunst.

I'm so sorry. Kirsten. That is not the super sapper. You are a little, you're a cheeky. She is a cheeky one of ours. She is a cheeky one of ours. Hey, Kirsten, unfortunately not.

But if you want to leave a voice memo, jump the queue. Your next chance is coming up at 11. Why don't you give me a clue? Oh, hello. I was like, what's happening? Oh, that is awful. Sprung a surprise clue on us. We're getting a clue.

Yeah, we are. Why don't you give me a clue? Can you re-record that for me, please? It might sound a bit weird. Nah, I like your vocals. Okay. Well, the clue is at neontv.co.nz. Go find it.

Go do your thing. Oh, it's a little treasure hunt. Maybe. Okay, all right. Well, there's a little treasure hunt. Maybe. Okay. All right. Well, there's your clue. The next chance coming up at 11. It's all thanks to Neon, our secret sound.

You can sign up now for your 14-day free trial at neontv.co.nz. T's and C's apply. Coming up. Have you found it? No, I got an error. I got a 403 error. That's not on my end. A 403?

You want a 404? I've got a 403 error. That's not on my end. A 403? You want a 404? I've got a 403. The request did not be satisfied. All right. When I said we were going back to the 80s, I was wrong. 79. Holy. 79.

At the end of 1979, this song was the number one song in New Zealand of the whole year. It's a banger. It was the number one. 79 was an of the whole year. It's a banger. It was the number one. 79 was an amazing year for music. Great year for music. Why was it an amazing year? Can't I just make a big claim? 99 was another great year for music.

Well, the bridge, it was like the bridge between, like classic rock people started dabbling in electronics and then it all went, all the rules went out the door. I would say that falls under this umbrella. Because we were like, these artists, now suddenly they're on the machines. And we're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what? This number one, this single hit number one in Australia,

Austria, Canada, New Zealand, Switzerland, the UK, the US and West Germany. That's right. When they had a wall. Two Germanies. There was a wall down the middle of Germany. No word if it did well in East Germany. Probably a little bit too spiffy for the communist East German.

I can't believe you're playing this song. This is an absolute banger. I still don't know what it is. Don't look. Don't look yet. Have you cleared this with Rospos? I don't give a goddamn. He's just walked in too.

The reason I am playing this is this is one of the songs that Miley Cyrus covers on her new live album called Attention. Her new album. This live album is Mwah. She does a chef's kiss. She does a heap of covers but then also like

her own songs and they're all live. Yeah, she makes a mashup. Mashups of her songs and great old songs. She does mashups. We can't stop with Where Is My Mind

from the Pixies which is a fantastic mashup. I listened to this the other night and I ended up staying up till 11pm because it was so good. I watched the this the other night and I ended up staying up till 11pm because it was so good. I watched the whole concert.

Yeah. You can watch the concert on YouTube. So this is just a straight cover that she did. But we are playing the original. But you're playing the original. We're playing the original from an album called Parallel Lines from a band called Blondie. Your Friday flashback.

Heart of glass. All right, ZM, it's your Friday flashback. Heart of Glass. All right, ZM, it's your Friday flashback. This can be faded out. That's what they did to their songs back in the day. Give them a long outro so you could... Some radio announcer could be like, it's bloody, heart of glass. Brad U, and I tell you what, that one rocks!

Banger. Today's Friday flashback from 1979. Yeah. Miley has covered this in her new live album, which is amazing. It's so good. Let's see if I can get this to work. Give us a...

Fast forward to the... I want to hear some of her raspy tones. Yeah, gotcha. She's so great. So good. Feedback, did you get roasted for this today? God, no. People on their feet.

Flipped across, flipped the radio on halfway through that song. Had to check what the bloody hell was going on their feet. Flipped across. Flipped the radio on halfway through that song. Had to check what the bloody hell was going on. Yeah. Any idea how hard it is to straighten your hair while dancing? Although I'm not complaining. Careful now. Yeah, be careful.

Great song. It was my grandpa's favourite. We played it at his funeral. Toe tapping and head bobbing was unforgettable. I was going to say, Ross didn't like it. Ross Bossy came in, didn't he? I don't reckon that's great feedback to say that was my granddad's favourite. We played at his funeral.

As long as it's somebody's favourite. Someone said, best flashback. Yes, love it. Heart, heart, heart, heart, heart. Cheers, Colleen. Cheers, Colleen. Okay, so look warm. I would say, to reiterate what you said before, Hayley,

if you find yourself with a bit of time this weekend, watch Miley's live concert. Oh, so good. It's amazing. And she comes out in, like, cowboy hats. She's great. She's a treasure. She's a hell of a stage presence.

She's a treasure. Yesterday, I believe I'm about to be roasted for something that happened yesterday. It was Bunme Thursday. Well, here's the thing. We tried to start the tradition of Bun Me Friday. We've got a Vietnamese restaurant, cafe over the road from work here, and we stumbled across their Bun Me.

Citation, Ben Hurley. Comedian Ben Hurley was walking past, and we're like, what are you doing here? He's like, getting a Bun Me. And he's on Have You Been Paying Attention Tonight. You can watch that on TVNZ2 at 8.30, hosted by award winning Hayley Sproul. You

stopped mentioning the award so much. My best presenter in entertainment award. Award nominee submitted Vaughan Smith. A guy that beats people up on the show tonight. Dan the Hangman Hooker. Heart of gold that guy. Kimmy Crossman. Who's lovely.

Ben Hurley is also on the show tonight. Yeah. And he was the one that put us onto these bun mee. Vietnamese sandwich. So for those, it looks like a French stick, hey? That they've kind of cut. Yeah, it's one of the only good things that came out from the French occupation of Vietnam. My experience previously with bun mee is the bun has always been super crusty.

Tough. Hard work. Yeah. This Bunmi, not the case. Soft bun. Light crust, soft bun. Yeah, so. It's unbelievable.

They've got a kefir. Kefir, am I saying that right? Kefir. Kefir chicken. Yeah. They've got a pork belly. Yesterday I had the honey soy pork with scotch fillet. Now, yesterday was your second of the week.

Second of the week second of the week third of the seven day spread because we initially were like let's make it bun me Friday it's finished on Friday

yeah pie day Friday we were like bun me Friday and then it was Monday Tuesday Tuesday

and we were like stuff it it feels like a bun me day and then yesterday was Thursday and it felt again a little bit like a Bunme Day. So there's a problem.

A very big problem. There is a problem. We also have to honour the original agreement, which was Bunme Friday. So that's today as well. Today, yeah, right. But yesterday, when we were getting all jazzed up for Bunme Thursday, we said to Fletch, come on, come and have a Bunme, because you still haven't had a Bunme.

Still haven't had a Bunme. It's a lot of carbs. A lot of carbs. And because you can't move at the moment because you've had COVID. No barn meat. Still haven't had a barn meat. It's a lot of carbs. A lot of carbs. And you, because you've got, you can't move at the moment because you've had COVID. I've got, no, I can't exercise because I can't breathe properly. You've got lungs. Yeah.

Long-going lung conditions. So I love it when people say, oh, COVID, it's just like a cold. Yeah. I know a few who have had it who would completely disagree with this mild cold situation. I think it's calmer for me saying that also before I got it. Yes. But so I'm just, yeah, I'm just not eating a lot of,

I'm not eating Etsy's breed. This was three times a week. I quote, Fletch, you going to come and get a bun me? Oh, no, I won't. I've got some meat in the fridge that needs to be eaten at home. I've got some meat in the fridge at home that needs to be eaten. I know, I did have meat in the fridge that needed eating.

Jesus, you. Oh, I'd love to, but meat in the fridge at home. I know, I did have meat in the fridge at Needed Eating. Oh, I'd love to, but there's meat in the fridge. It's going to go off today. You know, that's going to be eaten today or it's not going to be any good tomorrow. No, it wouldn't be. It wouldn't be. And then Bourne starts ribbing me out because it sounds like something my mum would say. Even the way you said it,

the harmony through the sentence, the rhythm. Oh, no, I can't because there's meat in the fridge. No, there's meat in the fridge at home. Plenty of water in the sentence. Oh, no, I can't because there's meat in the fridge. No, there's meat in the fridge at home. No, we're going to eat it. Plenty of water in the tap. Oh, my God. Only boring people get bored.

Well, there's some fruit in the bowl. I don't want fruit. Well, you can't be that hungry. Yeah, you can't be that hungry. Why are you swinging on the pantry doors? That was always ours. Don't swing on the pantry doors. Don't swing on the doors, any doors.

Don't lean your chair back. Did you get that one? Yep, yep, yep. Oh, don't. Pick up. My mum used to say, don't trip on bar doors, any doors. Don't lean your chair back. Did you get that one? Yep, yep, yep. No, don't. Pick up. My mum used to say, don't trip on your bottom lap. If you were having a sulk. If I was having a sulk, she'd be like, oh, watch out,

you might trip on your bottom lap. Yep, yep. What a sass queen, eh? Yeah, she was really dishing it out. But we wanted to know off the back of there's plenty of food. Plenty of meat in the fridge. Plenty of food at home. We don't need that.

What do you say that your parents said to you? And you say it and then you go, oh, my God. Oh, God. You just catch yourself saying it. You're like, oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. You must, though, now that you've got kids.

All the time. Start saying things like that your parents said to you. Yeah, everything. Do you do a, girls, what? Pardon? No. I will say, they'll be like, everything. Do you do a, girls, what? Pardon? No. I will say, they'll be like, mum, mum, mum. And I'll be like, just go and find her.

And that's, I can remember my parents saying the same thing. Just go and find them. Just this wild frustration of just having to hear, ma'am, Ma'am. Do you do that thing where you turn the lights out? What's that line of you're born in a tent? When you leave the door open? Born in a tent was door open.

You think we made a money. With the light switches. I think I said something once like, it'd be a cent for a whole week. My grandad used to say, you're trying to attract the Germans and switch a light on. He didn't go to say, you're trying to attract the Germans in Switzerland. He didn't go to war or anything. He was too young. One more to finish.

You're trying to tell the Germans where we are. That's a blast from the past. Alright, well 0800DARLS. We want you to give us a call right now. You can text as well 9696. What are you saying that your parents once said? We're talking about what you say.

Your parents used to say, yesterday Fletch echoed his mother by saying, no, I won't have a bun, me, because I've got meat in the fridge at home. I did have, it was a last minute bun, me, and I'd already planned with meat in the fridge. What meat was it? Chicken. I was going to say, it's usually mince, isn't it? My mum was always, oh, God. Mince in the fridge.

What are we going to have for dinner? I've got some always, oh, God. Mince in the fridge. What are we doing for dinner? I think we've got some mince in the fridge. Some mince in the fridge. Yeah. So the things that you now say that when you hear yourself saying, you're like, oh, God, I sound like my mum or my dad. Mm. Mm-hmm.

Few messages into the old wind might change situation. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, did they wipe that look off your face or the wind might change? Yeah. Kate, what do you catch yourself saying? When the kids are like, I'm hungry. You can have an apple. I don't want an apple.

Well, you can't be hungry. Yeah. All the time. I remember we'd always have a giant bag of Gala apples or something. Yeah, always. Always a massive bag of apples. There's fruit in the bowl. Yep.

There's always a bowl. And that would be mum's go-to, wouldn't it? What did you want, though, Kate? What did you want? Oh, probably, like, that was the tense and all torn thing thing

is that mum would buy all these amazing snacks. Yeah. So, like, we'd have cookie times in the cupboard and little egg chips. Yum.

And, yeah, she'd just make you make you eat an apple. Kate, thanks for your call. Wes, what do you catch yourself saying that your parents said? Mum used to tell me if you sit too close to the TV you'll get square eyes.

Yeah, we had that. Which I think is scientifically impossible, isn't it? It is. I told my kids the same thing and they googled it on their phones. Yeah. I know, my kids have done that too. You told my kids the same thing and they Googled it on their phones. Yeah. I know. My kids have done that too. You tell them something to scare them and they Google it.

You're lying, Dad. That's why you've got to get the internet router with the app and quickly cut the internet off. Yeah. That's right. Feed them misinformation. Yeah. That's got to be healthy. That's all we do with kids.

Yeah. Lie. Wes, thanks. You called some messages in. I used to get told to cover up my midriff or you'll catch a chill in your kidneys. And I found myself saying it the other day and I was like, well, who have I become?

Catch a chill in your kidneys. I remember being told that too. Really? Is that a thing? You don't catch a chill in your kidney. I used to always say, I've got one kidney. Better not. Another couple of the old wind might change.

If someone is having a drink of water and it goes down the wrong pipe or they go and choke on it, you say, Josh, that one's got bones in it. Mum used to say it to me. I say it to my kids. Somebody else said that Nana used to say, is there bones in that one? And now I find myself saying it to somebody else.

What do you think this is? The Waitaki Power Station? That was a favourite of the old man's and he left the light on. Now I use it. Yeah. Good one. My Maori grandmother

used to say Tai Ho the Maori Land Court. My mum doesn't know what it means at all. But Tai Ho, you know, Tai Ho. Stop or slow down.

Yeah, slow down. But my mum would her mum would always say Taiho the Maori land court yeah and now my mum says it but she's like what does it mean

what is that just wait somebody else is kind of in the same boat we're part Indian and our grandma used to say hot tati mari not sure of the spelling

and I apologise you might be saying it wrong if I've said that wrong it's an Indian word we still don't know what it means apparently mum doesn't know what it means Hat-tadi-mari. Not sure of the spelling. And I apologise if I've said that wrong. It's an Indian word. We still don't know what it means. Apparently mum doesn't know what it means. You could have just been saying something really bad. No, because grandma was saying it.

Grandma was saying it. Grandma was saying it. It wouldn't have been that bad. Grandma was saying it. Hat. Hat. Oh. Hat-tadi-mari.

Hat-tadi-mari. We still don't know what it means, but mum said it to us and now we say it. I say it to my daughter when she's playing up. Anyone who speaks that language knows what it is. Text us. Hattarimari. Tell us what Hattarimari might mean.

All right, fact of the day is next. Are you going to have a bun me with us today? Have you got some mints in the fridge? Actually got some mints in the fridge. Oh, my God, you do. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan, and Hayley. It's time for Fact of the Day Today's fact of the day

Is that currently China Has it's lowest percentage of total world population on record. 17.8% of people who currently live on Earth live in China. Okay. But this has been as high as 39%. Oh, wow. 39?

In the year 1200 under the Southern Song Dynasty, It had 39% of the world's population. Huh. Wow. Well, they had the one child policy for a long time, didn't they? They did. That dropped it back. That dropped it back. Totally.

That's gone, isn't it? Yes. I think you're allowed two. In rural, you're allowed more. But if you live in the city, I think it's still restricted a little bit. Yeah, so 39% then. Currently 17.8, and it's been dropping steadily. In 17.50, it was up to 37% after a big drop off.

And yeah, it's slowly been just dwindling away since. Is this because they're more modern now and people aren't having children as much? Not having as much children, not as reliant on, you know, agriculture. And so, obviously, you had a lot of children to bolster it up and there was a huge urban population even in the early days of, you know, urban. It's a very old civilization.

But, yeah, when you hear that it's got 1.4 billion population, you think, well, that's a big chunk of, you know, the world's population. But it's 17.8. It's at the lowest it's been in recorded history. Wild. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is even though they've got 1.4 billion people, China is currently at the smallest overall percentage

of people who live on this planet we call Earth. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. We're not fit enough to dance like that. We were just getting absolutely down with our bad selves to that song. You haven't even had COVID and you're breathing like that. Okay, I'm back. I'm back. A girl called Gabby on TikTok has got people sort of up in arms a bit.

She is, like many people out there, on dating apps looking for love and she has revealed that she has a series of tests that she gives to men to see if they can, I don't know, be suitable for her. Here they are. Here are some tests that I play on men

in order to see if they're going to be able to provide and protect me. Him paying for the date. Let's just stop this conversation and the back and forth, the 50-50, the bullshit. First date, he needs to be paying. Men, you need to be walking her to her car, to her Uber, to wherever to make sure she gets home safely and then text her making sure she gets home safely yeah another

test that i do is when we're out if you have like a jacket on i will always without a doubt say that i'm cold because i want to see if you are going to get a shirt off your back and if you don't, you're dead to me. You're dead to me. So like, the second one is the only one I agree with. Like walking someone to an Uber outside

it's a safety thing. It's a nice thing to do. It is a nice thing to do. It absolutely tells you a lot about a person unless they jump in their Uber and they're like, bye, leave you in the corner of the street. But the whole idea of testing someone, it's so, I don't know, it's ugly. So she actually, she was said that like,

and then she keeps updating her thing and being like, oh my God, I'm in Miami, Florida and I'm standing on the corner of the street and he's like literally got in his effing Uber. He did not pass the test. Right, because she said she's cold. Yeah, and he's like literally got in his effing Uber. He did not pass the test. Right. And then she said she's cold. Yeah.

And then she like shivers and she's like, I'm so cold. And he doesn't give her a jacket. She's like, you did not pass the test. That would be a red flag for me because I'd be like, this person's come on a date in the evening and they haven't thought about another layer. So for you on the other side, you're going, she's unprepared. She's a bit stupid maybe. Yeah, she is a bit stupid.

She hasn't thought things out. She's not a forward thinker. The dinner in the first place, I've got a lot of mints in the fridge. Yeah. Maybe she'd come around for mints.

She would love a mince dish from you. You're doing mince tacos. No, I don't. I hate mince tacos. What's wrong with you? No one's doing mince tacos. Try telling her you're too good for mince tacos. See, I don't. I hate mince tacos. What's wrong with you? No one's doing mince tacos. Try telling me you're too good for mince tacos.

See, this doesn't surprise me from private school Sproul. Try telling that to Vaughan. This doesn't surprise me, but Fletch, you went to a decile one primary school. You grew up in a- I grew up on mince. You grew up in bloody regional New Zealand. Yeah. And you think you're too good for mince Yeah. I'm Taranaki hardcore. Mince tacos.

I am too good for mince. No, look, you can't be because the official dish of Taranaki hardcore is mince tacos. Same with Jared. Jared, you've been here when we've had this debate about mince tacos. I'm vehemently against them. Yeah, and just... Who do you think you are? I mean, look, you can have mince in your burrito if you must,

but you need to have some beautiful snapper in there or something. Snapper? Not even that fish. The most expensive fish. I'm not putting basic tarakihi in my taco. No, I'm just having you on. No.

Anyway, people online on TikTok to this chick are just like, this is ridiculous. Also, her whole premise is that she's looking for someone to protect and provide, which feels a little backwards. A little outdated. A little outdated. Where do you stand on the guy should pay for the meal? I think that's such rubbish.

I think that's such rubbish. Like, if the guy wants to pay, sure. Yeah, but you can have your little fake argument, like, no, no, no, don't do that. Yeah. Or you pay. Or go 50-50. I like to, in the fake argument, they say,

no, I'll pay half. I'll be like, okay, sure. Yeah, yeah. All right, then. Well, I'll get the drinks. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, no, don't do that. Yeah. Or you pay. I like to, in the fake argument, they say, no, I'll pay half. I'll be like, okay, sure. Yeah, yeah. All right then. Well, I'll get the drinks. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Actually, I don't have enough money on this card. Oh, man.

Well, people have basically at the end, in all the comments, it's like, well, good luck to you. Yeah. Not a great way to start a relationship by doing a series of hidden tests. I'm so cold. You failed.

I mean, you do that in the mornings here and we're just like, well, put a jacket on. Oh my God, I literally was lying on the floor this morning

saying I'm really, really cold. I was lying next to your jumper on the floor and I was like, all right, I guess I have to shiver a little bit more.

You're not going to put boob marks in it. Boob marks? There'll be boobies in there. Yeah, stretch the boob. Stretch out the boobies in there. Yeah, stretch the boobs. Stretch out the boob area. Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry. Or are we walking home and everyone will be like, he's got big boobs. Yeah. Well, this surprised me because this does not apply to me here. But a study has shown that most Americans can't name all four of their grandparents. By their given names. By their Christian names. Well, that's probably just because

they call them Pop Pop or Nan Nan. Yeah, I know, but eventually they've surveyed adults. So, no, you don't know them when you're a kid. You're like, meh-meh, nanny. But the adults, they don't know their four grandparents' names. Do you think it's because, because I just went on Ancestry.com,

because I was like, when did my first grandfather die? And he died when I was six, but I remember that. Right. Because I had all four of mine until much later in life. Yeah, me too. But that made me think, do you think it's because maybe, like if you're a five-year-old and your grandparents die, you don't ever really know their names?

No, but you talk about them a bit. Yeah, and your parents would talk about them. Yeah, absolutely. Do you know all four of yours, Vaughan? I know their middle names. I know my grandmother's names before they got married. Hit us, hit us. Ah, whoa.

Oh, you're their maiden names. Marlene Beverly McElroy, that was her name. Bev. Yeah, Marlene. That's Beverly McElroy, that was her name. Bev. Yeah, Marlene. That's Nan. That's Nan that's still alive. She was married to Alan Charles Holmes. Yep.

On my dad's side, his mum's name was Redemarie Rushton before she got married and became a Smith, and his name was Hilton Edward Smith. Right. My dad's dad was the same name, John. John, John. Isn't that true? John, your dad broke the mould.

Yeah. We've got Matthew. Like, everyone's a Matthew. I've got a cousin Matthew, an uncle Matthew, my granddad was Matthew, his father was Matthew. Right, Matthew, Matthew, Matthew.

Yeah, but my dad's Craig, so we missed out on the Matthew. Yeah. But Matthew and Phyllis, Letitia and Garrick. Garrick? Garrick. Letitia and Garrick.

Letitia and Garrick. That could be a hot young hipster couple, couldn't it? Yeah, they could be. They do. They do. Totally. But apparently.

Well, you haven't said yours. Oh, okay. So John Muriel. Muriel. That's a classic. I love that. That was my nan from England. And then there was Edith.

I met Edith. You met Edith. When are you going to get a nice girlfriend? I know she loves saying that, didn't she? And I said to her, I've got a girlfriend, Edith. You met Edith. When are you going to get a nice girlfriend? I know she loves saying that, didn't she? And I said to her, I've got a girlfriend, Edith. She was like, if he can get a girlfriend, why haven't you got one? Yeah, and then there was my pop who was Aussie, but Henry. Aussie?

I think he called him Oswald. Oh, Oswald. That was his middle name. Is that what in the producer's booth? Did everybody know all four of their grandparents' names? Yeah, of course. Yeah? What were your grandparents' names?

Both my granddads are called Dennis, so that's handy. You had a double Dennis? Double Dennis on both sides. And then Margaret and May. Okay. DMs, couple of DMs. Yeah, right. Anya?

Nah. So you can't. How many in the study didn't know their grandparents' names? It was... What was it again? Four. One in four. Okay, so so far we're about right. Yeah.

But that's not my fault. They, unfortunately, were no longer with us before my birthing. Just to do the stat and make you not feel so bad, it's actually more than half. Couldn't remember all four of their grandparents. Oh, right. It's more than half. So you haven't found out since?

Nah, if I really think about it, I'm 80% sure. But I certainly... Have a guess. Have a guess. Come on. You could just say any old person's name. Yeah. Deirdre and Martin? Nah, June and Peter and Bill and Bill

and Shirley. That sounds about right. I'm calling bullshit. I reckon you don't know. You're just saying Nana names. What about you? Producer Jared, do you know? Yeah, I have Rex, Sue, Muriel,

Archie, Franciscus and Dorothy. Awesome divorces in there. Awesome divorces. Yeah, you've got six to remember and he can do it. Yeah, nice. Another Muriel. Right in the middle. It's a great name.

And there was Muriel's Wedding. I'm surprised it hasn't got back into more popular rotation. Yeah, come back into fashion. Did anybody say to your nan before she died, you're terrible, Muriel? Yes. From the movie. That's very nice.

If she hadn't seen the film, she's like, what? Oh, my God. I'm trying to be a good Christian. Well, if you don't know your grandparents, if you're listening to this and you're going, I don't actually know my grandparents' names, do them the honour of learning them. And if you don't know, spit into a tube and send it away.

Oh, no. There's all sorts of names in my family. I also just had a look just to see if I'd got any more Swedish ancestry because I'm currently 8%. It's still 8%. Still 8%. Still 8%. My one disappeared.

My ancestry.com with the spit in the tube disappeared. What? What do you mean your profile? It disappeared. What, so you don't exist anymore? Nope. I have to do it again. Yeah, mine's still the same. No spice added

in there. I might just send them my COVID test. I might just do a rat and pop it in that little bag they give you and just address it to Ancestry.com and I'll be like, my name's Vaughn, you guys take care of the rest.