ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 8th August 2022

Episode Date: August 7, 2022

Unpopular Baby Names  Sexy Parasites ooh la la Top 6: Waiheke  Can Game  Where've you gotten stuck?  Pregnancy Zodiac Planning  Vaughans Fun Weekend  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. We've been doing all this late night talking. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe. Download the McDonald's app and earn rewards on your coffee. And may I just take this opportunity, as I've been reminded by a marketing email I've just received, that it is International Cat Day.

Happy International Cat Day. Cat Day to you. Everybody who's got a cat. Yeah. Oh, that's exciting. I'm a little grumpy with my cat at the moment because last night I cooked delicious chicken thighs. Yeah.

A bit spicy, a little bit celery, salty, you know, gorgeous. Okay. And we had them in wraps and then it was all up on the bench, sort of a make-your-own-wrap thing. Yeah. And then Rolly comes in, and he usually goes absolutely ruckus at this time because he wants his snack. We give him a late-night snack.

Wait, so you feed him at, like, what time? Morning. Yeah. Evening. Yeah. 6.30. 9 o'clock. Snack.

He gets a pre-bed snack. He gets a snack. That's ridiculous we started it now we can't stop it okay anyway he usually goes crazy for snack

at this time and he comes he's licking his chops and Aaron was like what have you eaten and then I went in and there was one

remaining chicken thigh that's still sitting there but I don't know I've put it in the fridge but Aaron's like he's licked it how many chicken thighs

did he eat? No no no no We had eaten them all But there was one left On the chopping board You're saying you left Like four up there And came back

And the cat had Polished off the tree No he's a small cat But now we don't know If he's like licked it Or had a nibble So I've just put it In the fridge

He's definitely licked it I'll eat it I'll eat it Microwave it That'll kill Or duplicate The bacteria Kill or duplicate the bacteria. Kill or duplicate?

I only want one of those. Kill, duplicate, or marry? Campylobacter. You've got to marry Campylobacter. It's very strong. It'll last forever. E.coli. Kill.

Duplicate. Duplicate. Duplicate. That's not even up to you. If it's in there, it's duplicating. Which one are you marrying? Giardia. Put a ring on it, you know? Yeah. It's a long-term partner, Giardia Put a ring on it you know

Yeah It's a long term partner Giardia Yeah Monkeypox? Yeah Fuck man Fuck monkeypox I don't fuck with monkeypox

It's spreading through fucking So imagine monkeypox must be quite the lover Oh yeah Gets intimate with you Yeah How are you going to celebrate International Cat Day? Are you guys going to give your cat something special? I guess, yeah, just go home and pat him.

Pat, pat, pat. Pat, pat, pat. I think, yeah, you'll hear I was nearly late for the show today. I think that's why I was late because in my head I was like, I'm not letting this cat wake me up early today. Because he's always like around 3 o'clock. So I'm like, get away, get away. So I think

Subconsciously When my alarm was going off I was like No cat No Even though it was like Yes And you're like

Damn cat Making alarm sounds again Yeah and then Hayley's like Hello Are you alive I'm like Oh I'm coming

Ring ring Ring ring Thank you Sam Good morning Ring, ring, ring, ring. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you, Sam. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Two minutes past six.

It is Fletch. Two minutes past six. I have no concept of time this morning. I slipped in, but I made it, didn't I? Just? Never missed a show. Wow. I've got to say, I was nervous.

How many have you missed? The start of? The start of the show. One. Sleeping once. Yeah. No, I don't even think, I think I got here. Oh, I don't know.

I know. No, there was once, there was once when I, there was once when I missed. I feel, our producer Anna will back me up. I feel like it's been at least three times he's missed six o'clock.

Absolutely, boys. No, not true. Not true. Slander. Slander, you'll be hurt if I avoid it. As the person who frantically calls you 87 times

at 5.59. I think I've missed, I think I've definitely been late to one, but I think the others, I've got them by the skin of my teeth. Or you've joined the show

on the phone. I feel like you might have joined the show on the phone. I feel like you might have joined the show on the phone. But the thing is when I wake up at 5.30 it takes me five minutes to get to work. Yeah.

We're a little further out. Yeah, there's a little bit of a hike involved. Coming up on the show the top six. Yeah. Locals are saying Waiheke Island

is transforming into Waibetha before its very eyes. Yeah. But not in a positiveiza before its very eyes. Yeah. But not in a positive way. Oh, okay. Yeah. Right, okay.

They are saying the local pub is turning it into a party island, whereas I'm pretty sure hen's parties have been doing that for the better part of 18 decades. Wineries have been doing that forever. Yeah. So I've got the top six similarities between Waiheke and Ibiza. All right, it's coming up next on the show, though. I've got the most unpopular baby names of 2022.

The names that are slipping away into oblivion. I love these lists. I don't know why I love them. I don't have a better name, nor do I want one. I feel like if you did have a baby to name, would you go for a standard name or would you go a bit out there? I'd go a bit out there. Yeah, I think you would.

I like boys' names for girls and girls' names for boys. Like Bruce. Have you met a female Bruce? Yeah, Gary. Yep. I think you've gone too far. Chuck. Too far.

Too far. Chuck. Yeah, Chuck. There are no females called Chuck. No, there's not, but should be uniquely. There's like girls called, there's females called Charlie. Yes. If I knew a female Charlie, I wouldn't be afraid to call her Chuck.

Oh, yeah. I like it as a nickname. Yeah, right. Yeah, get in it. Well, here is the list of most unpopular baby names of 2022. Okay. The year's not over. I feel it's somewhat premature.

Well, our friend Alice is about to pop at any moment. Maybe this will be a great opportunity. Has she decided on a name? Chuck. Chuck. Yeah. What did I say? I predicted it's going to be trendy soon.

No, this is the unpopular names. The names that are kind of weaning themselves out. You know, like not a lot of babies are called Patsy anymore. Gary. Yeah. That's always one that's waning. Yeah. So here's the boys one.

Some of these are surprising. Some of them make sense. Kobe. We're not calling our kid Kobe anymore. I think it's because there was that massive spike in Kobes. So there's too many. And so it's just the come down. Yeah.

Yeah. Or the fact that he died. No, that's why they were naming it. The legend. That was the reason for the spike. But there's also like a couple of Kobe's kicking around like the girl's age. My daughter's age. So it's kind of done its dash.

Yeah. It's done its dash. Jeffrey for the boys. Jeffrey. Nigel.'s done its dash. Jeffrey for the boys. Jeffrey. Nigel. Little baby Nigel. It would be funny. It would be funny.

Hey, Nigel. I think it would be funny to call a cat Nigel. Yes. But not a human. It's moved into cat territory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. That's the natural progression of a name.

Popularity, moving into animals, and then it's gone. Yeah. Ashton. Sorry, Kutcher. Ashton was a... I would put Ashton. Sorry, Kutcher. Ashton was a I would put Ashton like Kobe. It was a real spike. That's a shit bag's name too.

Real. Real rat bag. Show of hands from the teachers who are up Ashton. If you're a teacher listening and you've had an Ashton that's been a real little rat bag. They're not listening. They're currently meditating because they've got to go you've had an Ashton, that's been a real little rat battle. They're not listening. They're currently meditating because they've got to go to school to teach Ashton.

And we've just ruined their meditation by even mentioning the name Ashton. Then you've got the old-fashioned names, Graham, Gary, and Bill. They're on their way out. Bill. And then there's Stuart and Chad. Chad. All of these are great minion names. Stuart's an absolute champion of the minions in my opinion.

Do you guys know a Chad? I feel like if we were in America, maybe we would. Chad. It seems very jockey American. I always say I don't, and then I search on my Facebook friends. No, I don't. Chad. I'm not Facebook friends with any Chad.

Okay, the girls ones are more surprising to me. Angela, Kimberly, Nicole, Ashley. They're on their way out. Big 80s names. Yeah, big 80s names. Huge 80s names. Still popular. Like if somebody called their kid one of those names, you wouldn't...

Be like, what? Yeah, you wouldn't be taken back as much. You'd be a bit like, boring, what a missed opportunity. Sophia, and then there's Lorraine. Probably baby Lorraine's a bit out now. Kristen and Suzanne. They're the ones that are on the decline. And then they said that they had not,

I think this is in Britain, they had not had a single baby registered under the names of Pierce, Clive, Dwayne, Glynnis, Maud and Doris. Maud and Doris were classics. In 2021, whereas Glenda, Pauline, Tina, Clifford and Norman are on the, what they call, endangered list. Imagine, who's this?

This is little Glynnis. Little Tina. This is little Tina. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I chatted to the Coterie guys last week on Have You Been Paying Attention. That's right. They were on, weren't they? Yeah, two of them.

Branford, Branford and Tyler. How many are in Coterie? It feels like a Fat Freddy's drop search. Is it 12 to 15? Well, they're usually photographed as like a four. They're all brothers. Oh, so there can't be like 12 of them. Who got to play guitar?

That would have been the big. The cool one. Yeah, yeah, exactly. The lead singer's the cool one. No, there's four. There's four of them. Four of them and they're all brothers. Drums.

Okay. Drums is the brother you put at the back. God, I could not imagine. No, the drummers are hot. Yeah, I know, but it's middle child because they're right at the back, but they're competing to be up the front. Yeah, but these days sometimes they pop a mic. Could you imagine going on tour with your brothers?

No, no way. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I could with my brother. My brother's a real musician. Oh, I'd do that with my brother. But you would get on. My brother would say,

Christopher Luxon's got a point. There aren't too many lazy young people. Yeah, no, that's not my brother. I'd be like, shut up, you're ruining the tour. A study's been done, and it's about Gen Zers and millennials with their cars. That's me. That's you.

And it is found that on average, they will wait eight times when the warning light comes on before they take it to a mechanic. Yeah, but my theory, like with my old car, my theory was that the warning lights are broken, not the car. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean?

The lights themselves. Is that how you justify it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I was like, the car's running like a dream. Well, what do you mean the engine light's been on for a couple of years? And I had that airbag one that meant if you hit something, the airbags wouldn't go off.

The airbag light or the airbag recall. Oh, you had the light saying, it's bad. It was on for ages. And then did it turn off? But I think the light was defective. Oh, right. Well, that's what I reckon. There's this thing online, man, like in the

1960s, the car manual taught you how to adjust the timing belts and now it tells you not to drink the battery fluid or something. And I was like, God, stupid. But then I did found my granddad's Land Rover that I inherited. The manual for that, it literally does tell you how to adjust the timing chain. I don't know what that is. You don't know what it is?

Because it doesn't even have a clock in it. So I don't know what I'm changing the timing of. Yeah, right. It's not like daylight savings comes around and know what I'm changing the timing of. Yeah, right. It's not like Daylight Savings comes around and you turn the timing chain back an hour. Oh, yeah. It's to do with the actual engine and it tells you how to do it in the little book. Oh, God. There's people for that.

Yeah. I know. But the modern manuals are like so thick. Yeah. But it's because everybody gets a chapter. The French get a chapter. The Germans get a chapter. Oh, chapter. The French get a chapter. The Germans get a chapter. The Spanish get a chapter. Why not

just print one language book for where the car's going? It's probably not as cheap. They just crank it all out as one. I think they should just tear out the section you need when you get the car. Yeah. And just chuck the rest. Unless you're dead set on learning Japanese. But does that

sound about right for you? Eight warning lights before you do anything? No, I wouldn't wait for eight. Eight's about the time that it's flashing and dinging. That's like a Christmas tree on your dash, isn't it? I don't have any on at the moment, although sometimes I do look down and I've been driving with a handbrake on.

So you'd say that's one warning light. You're like, what is that smell? It is running like a bucket of rusty nails this morning. And I tell you what, that beautiful burning smell. I can't get enough of it. Metal on metal. Put your foot down. Nothing's happening.

Sluggish. God. Do you know they plug it into a computer when you've got a check engine light? Yeah. They've got a little handheld iPad-sized thing that they just plug into your car now, and the car's like, this is what's wrong with me. Really? Does it knock on Hayley for speeding when she has an accident? No. your car now and it will the car's like this is what's wrong with me. Really?

Does it knock on will it knock on Hayley for speeding when she has an accident? No. Oh no. I think it's more like a fault thing. Right.

Okay. Is it listening to me? Run. It can hear you're singing. Wow. Lucky. Lucky. Lucky.

And that's why it's flashing the lights. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well done. It's a version of applause. Bravo.

Bravo. 622 next on the lights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done. It's a version of applause. Bravo, bravo. 622, next on the show. I want to talk about a sexy parasite. A sexy parasite. A sexy, sexy parasite. And it shows no signs of stopping. I've got a favourite parasite. Do you?

Yep. Tell you about it next. Exactly. Great. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Well, sound the alarms because there's a sexy parasite on the loose. It's called T-Gondii, T-dot-G-O-N-D-I-I. Yeah.

And what it does is it gets in you and it makes you hot. It makes you hotter. Like attractive to the opposite sex hotter? Yeah. Or like temperature hot? So, no, no, no. Sex, sexy. Oh, okay.

So it gives men a more symmetrical appearance. It is, which is a universal trait of attractiveness. It gets in you and morphs your body. And changes you. What? I'll have two. This is some kind of science fiction thing. Do we have time to have like a half a dozen of them before that photo shoot we've got to do this Friday? Yeah.

Oh my God, you give me a spoonful. Women with the parasitis seem to have more physiological changes, including lower body mass index. So I'm wondering if that gives you a bit of a badonk. Is that what that would mean? Lower body mass index means you'd be way less to your height. Oh, I was thinking lower body. Oh, you were thinking like a Kardashian kind of a... Okay, so it's making

you slimmer. Slimmer, yeah. Making men more symmetrical. So far I'm not seeing a downside to this sexy parasite. Increasing confidence in your own attractiveness as well. It like gets into your brain and makes you think you're more attractive.

That's definitely what this world needs at the moment is more egos. Yeah. And it also increases testosterone in men which I mean it'll make your hair fall out but it also makes them more confident. Yeah. No well the good part about a testosterone imbalance,

speaking from someone who has, your hair falls out, you might be slightly manlier. Yeah. But you get cool stuff like a hairy back, hairy bum hole. Yeah, yeah. It's just an absolute gas, guys. Great stuff. It's a gas.

That's hot, man. I've got increased testosterone as well. Yeah. I'm a bald sister. You Great stuff. It's a gas. That's hot, man. I've got increased testosterone as well. Oh, yeah. Let's all have hairy bums. I'm a bald sister. You know, I'm working on it. So the reason it does this is because it's so intelligent. It knows that the hotter we are, the more sex we have.

Right. And by having sex, we pass on the parasite, and thus it grows and multiplies. What a bizarre parasite. I know. They said they've tried to study this thing time and time again, and they just can't understand how it works. And this is the most recent attempt at trying to figure out

how it spreads and why it does these things to you. How do you know if you've got the sexy parasite? Like, how common is it? Is it a common thing? Oh, you know. You just look in the mirror. You just know. I think I've got it.

What's it called? Tegondi. There's a good pick-up line. Baby, you must be riddled with Tegondi. I don't know if that's it called? T-Gondai. So here's a good pickup line. Baby, you must be riddled with T-Gondai. I don't know if that's... Why? Because you're symmetrical. I know you've been out of the dating game for a while,

but that's not a great pickup line. Yeah, you look like you're riddled with a parasite. Yeah. And they'll be like, what? And you'll be like, Google it. And then they Google it, and it makes people hot. And they're like, oh my God, thank you. What if like it makes people hot and they're like oh my god thank you. What if someone

devilishly handsome and good looking got this parasite? Jesus. Like would it make them or would it go the other way like when two attractive people have kids

and they're all a bit Oh yeah and they've got sort of like yeah they're all a bit ogre looking children. You know they're just

you just yeah yeah you know what I mean. It sort of intoxicates you and literally makes you more sexually attractive. Right. But to yourself, but not to other people?

No, to other people. Right, okay. Because other people need to be attracted to you to be able to infect them. Right. When they want to have a little hanky-panky. Okay. So what's your, you've got a favourite parasite? Tardigrade.

It looks like a little bear. It's like tiny, tiny. Under a microscope. Yeah, it looks like this. Oh, yeah, he's like a fat little rolly bear. And it's got a big suction thing on the front. Yeah, for chewing holes through things. All sorts.

And they hoon around. And I think the internet was like a little bit holes through things. All sorts. And they hoon around. And I think the internet was like a little bit obsessed with them. Right. What do they do? What do they do? They just hoon around a herbivorous. And they're of no danger to humans. They live in water and stuff.

Fuel. I think I peed out a parasite once. I was really, really sick and I was in Turkey. And I was travelling around with my mum and I went for a wee and I remember looking down. You always got to look. Yeah. Have I had enough water today? Yeah, you've got to check your hydration.

And there was a little swimming... No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. You're going to have lots of legs and stuff. No, that must have been in the bowl already. Yeah, that didn't come out your urethra. I think it came out my urethra. You would have felt that.

You've just seen a centipede in the toilet. No, it came out your urethra. I think it came out my urethra. You would have felt that. You've just seen a centipede in the toilet. No, it came out my urethra. You didn't come out your urethra. There's no way. Something like a millipede was up you and you didn't notice. Out of my urethra. No. You'd feel it in there.

I was sick as. I felt horrible. You would feel it. The urethra is very sensitive. They're microscopic. And I did have, I had a number of things going on, a urine infection being one of them. Probably that bloody millipede.

Because the millipede was up in my urethra. With its dirty feet. Yeah, crawling around in me. It didn't wipe its feet on the doormat before it went up. James Bonas Banger. Okay, I don't want to go to Turkey now. I've always wanted to go to Turkey, but not now. I've painted out a parasite in Istanbul.

I don't know, man. Our bonus banger is back this week. It's your chance to win $500 cash, and you've got to be the first caller through after nine when this song plays to win. You need me Could play more than once before 5 o'clock this afternoon So be listening after 9 to win that cash Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Play ZM

From the panoramic ZM think tank This is the top six. Waiheke Island is becoming Ibiza, according to the locals. The Irish pub will just be party, party, party. Party. Party. Yeah. I've had a party in the Irish pub on Waiheke.

Malones. Yeah, Malone. Well, it's your kind of trash that are bringing the island down. No, but I'll go after I've had a bougie. Winery. It's sort of a last resort, but that's what they're saying. You know, all of these places people do, they go do the party. Yes.

And then everything shuts apart from this place and everybody goes and gets stuck in. Yeah. And then hospo nights is apparently one to be had. But the hospo people have got to have a night. Yeah. I'm a big fan of hospo nights. These people work in a hospo and put up with all of the worst and then they get a night to be that worst. Yeah.

Let them, you've just got to let some steam off. Yeah. So, you know, this isn't a new problem. They love a whinge, don't they? They love a whinge The locals, yeah I've never been to Ibiza Neither have you, Hayley?

No, the Vinger boys have though No, did they ever get there? They were going Never had confirmation that they'd been Back to the island indicates a previous trip Yeah, so they've been at least once. I've watched, I mean, we've all seen like docos and stuff with the party. It's the big party scene.

But there was an awesome show for the same people that made Money Heist. I think it was called White Lines. Oh, yeah. About Ibiza. And it was real. It was like that showed a side of Ibiza that I was like, I could actually go there. Right. The partying, not at all interesting to me. But the other. It's a nice island. It was like that showed a side of Ibiza that I was like, I could actually go there. Right.

The partying, not at all interesting to me. But the other island life looks cool. So I've got the top six similarities between Ibiza and Waiheke Island. Number six on the list. White girls saying, I'm fine. I'm fine. Seriously, I'm fine. When they are not.

They are not fine. Yeah, no. Katie, I think maybe times some water. I'm fine. Yeah, I know you're fine. Just have like a little bit of water. I not fine. Yeah, no. Katie, I think maybe time for some water. I'm fine. Yeah, I know you're fine. Just have like a little bit of water. I'm fine. Why did he say no more?

Why did he say no more for Katie? I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. Come on, Katie. You've got to get back to the fairy. I'm a fairy. I'm fine. Come on, Katie, you've got to get back to the fairy. I'm a fairy. I'm fine.

Oh, God. Katie. Poor Katie. That's always a Katie. I will say the fairy back from Waiheke after your 40th, that was feral. It's not because of us. They were feral. There were ferals on it. It gets to a time of the day

And it just changes I remember after my wedding My nana Who has since left us But how old would she have been? Eighty four And I said Oh so are you guys

Staying on the island? She's like no We're all going And I was like Oh no She's on the party Party ferry And I grabbed my uncle

By the shoulders I said You guard this woman with your life. Yeah, they totally run off for singing, didn't they? Yeah, they did. Over the speaker. Um, yeah. And walking around. Shut up! I think because of the COVID. It was COVID, right? So they didn't want people

like expelling spit particles when they were doing Wagon Wheel. My 40th was literally just as that. We were just like, ah, well. It's here. Just on the lips. Yeah. like, ah, well, it's here. Just on the lips. Yeah. Sure, drink.

Number five on the list of the top six similarities to an OB through a Waiheke Island, cars with questionable on-road legality. Yeah. It's a good thing about living on an island. Isn't there like one cop over there? Yeah, community. Do they, every now and then they rock a booze bus over there, though. Oh, do they? Yeah, then they might take it over on the ferry, but everybody sees it coming.

So they put it on the local page. Yeah. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six similarities to an Ibiza or Waiheke Island. Musical is just too bloody loud. I can't hear a thing that's happening. But to be honest, that's everywhere I go. Yeah.

Why do we have to listen to this music so loud? We were somewhere recently, and the music was the perfect volume. And then they turned it up. Oh. Why do we have to listen to this music so loud? We were somewhere recently and the music was the perfect volume and then they turned it up. Oh. Christchurch. Yeah, we went for a drink

before Banger's Bingo. Banger's Bingo. It was fine. We were talking and then they turned it up. It's like, it was a great song

but now I have to go, huh? And lean in. You're getting old. That's signs you're getting old. Oh, 100%. Number three on the list of the top six similarities

between Ibiza and Waiheke Island, you can spot the locals a mile off. Yeah. In Ibiza, they're like absolutely wrung out looking white dudes with shirts open to the navel. But they're not white anymore. They're like a tan leather bag. Yeah, yeah.

Real leathery old purse. Yeah. Not the same on Waiheke, but you can definitely spot a local. Number two on the list of the top six similarities between Ibiza and Waiheke Island. No one says it right. Yeah. Waiheke? Ibiza?

Ibiza? Ibiza. Ibiza. Ibiza. Going to Ibiza. Because you do that Spanish thing where you go. You have a heavy tongue. Ibiza? Ibiza. Ibiza. Ibiza. Going to Ibiza. Because you do that Spanish thing where you go... Ibiza. You have a heavy tongue.

Ibiza. Do you pronounce Ibiza? How did they say it in the song? How did the Venga boys say it? We're going to Ibiza. They definitely said it wrong, which again solidifies my theory the Venga boys never been. It's Ibiza. Ibiza.

Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six similarities between Ibiza and Waiheke Island, per capita, bigger pupils than anywhere else. Oh, yeah. Big, big. Majority pupil. Majority pupil.

Yeah. Yeah, if you live there, I have a look in the mirror, your pupils are bigger than the coloured bit. Do you believe it's called the iris? Yeah. I could be wrong on that. That is today's top six.

Can, can you guess the can, can? What is in the can, can? Guess what's in the can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can, can. Was he a little bit up here, Hayley? I think the pitch was pretty good. Very nasally. I think the cold has mellowed his... You know what I mean? It's sort of mellowed the...

This is the most voice I've had in a while, but I think it was Friday. My voice was like gravel. It was hot. Even Sharnay was like, you've always got such a hot voice when you're sick. Yeah, man. It's hot.

This is difficult for me today. Yeah. How low can you go? It was worse on Friday. It was down here. Yeah. When you're over go? It was worse on Friday. It was down here. Yeah. When you're over here, okay.

Okay, we better stop there because otherwise we'll end up in HR. Yeah, we won't. We don't want that. Hey, this one's for long-term listeners. Go, daddy.

Go, daddy. Yeah, Carwen and Hayley are repulsed. I'll say they're repulsed. Go, daddy. Carwen joins us in studio from the social media desk. This is from your pantry, I believe.

It is. This can. Now, you are a vegetarian. I am. Is everyone in your flat a vegetarian? No. But you wouldn't dare take another person's can. You wouldn't take someone else's can, would you?

They wouldn't know, would they? Not our can... Carwen... Canween. No. For God's sake. So we know that it's probably not a can of meat. But then they don't really have cans of meat, do they?

Yum. Spam. They do. No, but that's on a spam can. That's a wrap. Vaughan, give it a shake for the listener. A bit closer. See, I wonder.

See, when I first shook it It sounded really sloppy So I think as I've shookened it Shaken it Shaken dized it It's foamed It's aquafaba That's why Oh well

What's aquafaba? Chickpea juice Oh You know you can whip it into like egg whites The juice Yeah they do that Dude welcome to the world of aquafaba. Are you kidding me?

Yeah. I always, well, I don't often deal with chickpeas, but I pour it out in disgust. No, no, no. No. You can make aquafaba look like whipped egg whites, like vegan egg whites. Is that what the vegs do? Yeah, the vegs do that. They do it.

Taylor, good morning. Morning, guys. Welcome to Can You Guess the Can? $100 cash for the first person to correctly guess what's in the can. Got any questions re the can, Taylor? Oh, how big is the can? Good question. Your standard can?

I'd say 350. Yeah, and it's got a rip tab on it too. Yeah. Okay. I'm telling you, Taylor, it's got to be chickpeas. Okay, what do you think, Taylor? Yeah, okay, let's go with the chickpea idea. Oh, no, no, no, but now I might be wrong and I've stuffed you, Taylor, it's got to be chickpeas. Okay, what do you think, Taylor? Yeah, okay, let's go with the chickpea idea. Oh, no, no, no, but now I might be wrong and I've stuffed you for 100 bucks.

Halloween? It is chickpeas. Oh! Really? What? The aqua fibre gave it away. I thought that was going to make it harder. No, yeah, it started to thicken up when I shook it the first time.

It was real liquidy and the second time it sounded like fluffy. We gave away too many clues. Taylor, congratulations. You've won Can You Guess The Can, the radio competition taking the world by storm. Absolutely. Keep an eye out for it. There'll be rip-off versions of it very soon. Oh, absolutely.

Clay, Zed M's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. No, I've got a cool story. Well, it's not cool at all, actually. I don't know if you know, but it's very hot in Europe at the moment. Insane, yeah. Insanely hot. Just check my Instagram stories this morning. Like, two more friends left for Europe.

Yeah, I know. Everyone is over there right now. They deserve each other. So there's like a scorching heat wave in Spain this week. And there is a... More monkeypox. That's a monkeypox epicenter. Is that a hot spot, is it?

It's a hot spot, yeah. Well, there's a theme park in Madridx. That's a monkey pox epicenter. Is that a hotspot? It's a hotspot, yeah. Well, there's a theme park in Madrid. I haven't been to Madrid, but boy would I love to. They've got a big massive roller coaster. And they were like, oh, it looks like a bit of me. It's one of those like real heavy duty roller coasters. Epic. And there's a bit that goes directly vertical.

So you're like that and then you're going like that. So you'd be face to sky. Like the Tower of Terror at Dreamworld? Yeah, when they shoot you up, that thing. They shoot you up and you're literally... No, but you're not facing that way. Your butt would be going... But no, there's the Tower of Terror that drops it.

On the other side, there's that thing that shoots up it. Yeah. So you're facing up. Yeah, basically. As this goes up. So this would be the perfect moment for this roller coaster to break down. Oh, God, did it? It certainly did.

At around 9 p.m., still light outside. Gorgeous. God, I love the European summers. Yeah. A group of 10 people were on the abysmo ride at this park. It goes up that way 160 feet in the air. Vertical. Vertical.

Reaching speeds of 105 kilometres per hour as it comes down. So they were all waiting for the drop. They go up, wait, and then they were like, oh, the suspense. God, the suspense is really taking a long time. No. Due to a technical fault, the ride stopped dead in its track when it was at the vertical drop part of it, leaving them suspended at the top while facing up to the sky. So their back sort of had a seat behind them?

Better than facing down. Better than facing down. Imagine just hanging on that brace. So to make matters worse, at the time it was happening, it was 37 degrees Celsius. So they're sitting in there. They were in there for more than an hour as the theme park below them shut.

It was 10 p.m. at that point. It was closing all around them. Eventually, it was resolved and they... What do you do? Reboot the... If I was up there and I saw them shutting the gates, I would scream, don't you dare shut. Like, I know they're not going to, like, abandon us,

but don't you dare that. Don't you dare. But they... Isn't that... That's just an awful moment for that. And you're just sitting there for an hour waiting for what? For it to drop and you just fall backwards? But then what about those people that get stuck on a roller coaster

and they're upside down or they're on a twist? Yeah, on a twisty lift. No way. Oh, my God. Sorry, I just saw a trailer for something that was a spoiler alert and I'm just going to scroll down. But anyway, yeah, they were stuck there for an hour in 37 degree temperatures. Absolutely terrible.

So I want to know where is the worst place you've been stuck? I mean, maybe you got stuck in... In a bog. In a bog. Surrounded by snakes and crocodiles. Or maybe you got, you know, you got your foot jammed somewhere in a train track and you couldn't get out. And there was a train coming in the distance. You could see the smoke.

And you say, help, help me. Or maybe you were one of those 1980s kids that climbed into one of those fridges with a click lock shut and that's the reason they don't have them anymore. Yeah. Stuck in a barrel, you know, and then we're tumbling down the hill. And over Niagara Falls. Yeah, even getting stuck in like nearly 40 degree heat. Yeah, or stuck in

a terrible conversation at a wedding. You know? I mean, you can get yourself out of that. Save me. The last party we all went to, Anna had to do a swift save at one point. Maybe a little bit more dramatic than just a conversation. We're talking about the worst places

you've been stuck. A group of people in Spain in 37 degree heat got stuck upside down. Well, not upside down, but vertically on a roller coaster for just over an hour. It sounds like the Tower of Terror. The Dreamland ride, doesn't it? Yeah. There's a thing called that shoots up the side of the Tower of Terror. The giant drop.

The giant. Yeah, where you're sitting. The giant drop you're sitting. Yeah, on the Tower of Terror you go up. But I think they got rid of the Tower of Terror, right giant drop. The giant... Yeah, where you're sitting. The giant drop you're sitting. Yeah, on the Tower of Terror you go up. But I think they got rid of the Tower of Terror, right? They took that one down. I believe they got rid of that on the Goldie. The Zoomy one.

Yeah. When? Like a couple of years ago. When? Every time I read one of these stories, I just think, maybe I'm done. You know, maybe I'm done with these theme park sort of thrill rides. Because I love them. I love a thrill.

I love feeling that sort of nervousness. But then you see these videos and you're like, ugh. I don't know if I want that. Somebody said, speaking of being stuck, I feel like every day from 8 to 5 I'm stuck at work. You need to go and chase your dream. What are you into? What are they into? Have you possibly thought about a career change into truck driving?

Oh, Mike. Can I tell you what? If I wasn't here doing this, I'd be there driving trucks. I'd be driving trucks too. Well, you can too. With our friends at Firth and Winston Aggregates. 2019, Dreamworld announced the Tower of Terror would close on the 3rd of November that year, so it's gone. Shucks, what do they even have there anymore?

Well, they've still got the giant drop. Why don't they fit the shirts up the side of it? I don't know. You've still got the tower, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, the giant drop continues to operate as normal, but that was removed. Somebody, some other people said,

I went to Palmerston North once. You do get stuck though, because you get stuck in the centre and you're like... You go around that square. Oh my God, I'm in the centre and you're like, oh my god, I'm in the square again. I'm going to be here forever. Lindsay, where did you get stuck? I got stuck on

Space Mountain at Disneyland Paris with 22 other mini mice, no, women dressed as mini. You were dressed as Minnie Mouse as well? Yeah, we were on a hen do and there was like 23 or 24 of us. And yeah, it was hilarious.

We went round and round and round and just when we were going up and stopped, we thought it was the ride and we were going to take off. But no, we were vertical. Oh, so you were vertical as well. How long were you stuck for before they got you off? I was about 40 minutes, but because we were straight up, they had to get the winches and the guys would all come out and

pick us off one by one, which obviously 23... No! 23 girls, dressed as minimo. Oh my God. That's actually quite funny. When you got back down to the ground, did you call it a day or did you go and hop back on some other rides?

Oh, no, we hopped back on a couple of other rides. I think we even tried to get back on that one later, but, yeah, it was shut. And I just Googled it and it's been shut down, which is probably good. Probably for the best. Thinking of any ride I've ever been on that would be the worst to be stuck on, have you ever done the small, it's a small world at Disneyland? I've never done it until I read recently. When you go through.

It's a small world after all. Oh, yeah, demonic. And it just goes over and over. If you got stuck on there, you'd probably have to. Jump. Deafen yourself. You'd just have to drive a fork or your keys into your ear. It would be horrible.

Lindsay, thanks. You called some messages in. Somebody said, Google Nutty Putty Cave. That feels like you're not saying that right. Nutty Putty Cave. Oh. It's a caving experience. It's a hydrothermal cave located west of Utah Lake in Utah.

It's formerly popular with cavers and renowned for narrow passages. Yeah, people get stuck there all the time. There's this person that messaged in saying, they've been stuck there. Oh, no. They've been stuck caving. That makes me feel sick. Horrible.

It makes me... Sorry, just thinking about getting... Like the photos of this, it looks like he's in some kind of clay colon. Hole, yeah. No, thank you. We went caving, I remember, on a school camp around Waitomo. Hole, yeah. No, thank you. We went caving, I remember, on a school camp

around Waitomo. Oh, okay. And we had to squeeze through as a fat school kid. Oh, that was horrible. I was like, no, thank you. No.

Oh, yuck. Still, actually, is that movie at the Ron Howard caving one? That's on Amazon, isn't it? The Thai boys one.

If it's not, 13 lives. If it's not, it is very, very soon. It looks amazing. Yeah. But also, I don't not, it is very, very soon. It looks amazing. Yeah. But also, I don't want to watch it

for that very reason because like, blah. Yeah, caves, getting wedged. Yeah. I got stuck in a tunnel

between two caves under Woolpeena Pound after the girl in front of me got her shoulder stuck and I couldn't go backwards because there was too many people. See, to me,

anytime you're underground, my immediate thing is, well, there'll be many people. See, to me, anytime you're underground, my immediate thing is, well, there'll be an earthquake. Yes, yes. And then it all changes. I got stuck in a box of a fish truck for an hour. I went in to grab an item

and the door blew and it was one of those clip door shuts behind you. Oh, fish. You get used to the smell after that long. Yeah, but you'd smell like fish for so long afterwards, I reckon. You know what I mean?

Yeah, it would permeate. Yeah, really good. Somebody said, I also got stuck on a space mountain in Paris. So that's probably why that. It sounds like that was problematic, right? Yeah. My sister got stuck in a washing machine when her parents went home. Took her a while to fish her out.

Also had to carry her up to her bedroom afterwards and look after her because she got heat stroke from being locked in the washing machine when her parents went home. Took her a while to fish her out. Also had to carry her up to her bedroom afterwards and look after her because she got heat stroke from being locked in the washing machine. That is terrifying. Has my cat texted him by the time I accidentally

locked him in the garage? Yeah, I wasn't going to mention it though because he's still pissed about that. Well, your cat like messaged that in and then because we didn't

message back immediately it messaged us an abusive thing and it really turned quite quickly to a government conspiracy. Oh wow. I don't want to embarrass you like that for having a cat that did that sort of thing. 723. Just what we needed. Up next I want to tell you about a new dating

reality show. The title of which will shock you somewhat. You can let it go. You can throw a party full of everyone you know. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Hey, exciting news. Now, don't...

No one ruined this for me. But I have been watching Love Island and I'm a little bit behind. Show, show, show, Show all of your mouths. How have you not ruined it for yourself? I stayed off the internet all weekend and I tried to catch up. I don't even watch Love Island and I think I know who won. Yeah. All of you. Anyway.

Love Island is a show I rolled my eyes at at first and I was like, it's such trash. And then I watched one episode and I was like, give me more. It's like heroin. I need it. Just to clarify though, you're not addicted to heroin.

Don't speak on my behalf. Anyway, so. He's just trying to get you out of trouble here. But if you don't want the lifeline, stay in. Not until, we've agreed, Vorni,

not until the day before we die. And then we'll put a little shoddy event between the toesies and then we'll have to go. We're on death's door. Last meal. Anyway. Anyway, there's a new Netflix dating show on its way and I'm just going to let the trailer do some of the

talking for me. Imagine being swept away to a luxury villa in the south of France with other gorgeous singles. Oh, did I not mention the catch? You'll be joined by your brother or sister who's also looking for love.

This is probably the first time I've kissed a girl in front of my sister. I'm on a date with my brother and another brother and a sister. Like, what the hell is going on here? They've gone too far. They're hooking up with their siblings. No.

No. But this is what people immediately thought. I thought they'd taken them to a country where that sort of thing was kosher. Yeah, and they're like, I've always had the hots for my brother, but we're not allowed to in America. So the show is called Dated and Related. So the moment you hear that, you're like, wait, what? But what it is, is siblings who are both looking for love

go to the island where there are other siblings both looking for love. And they're each other's wingmen. And they're each other's wingmen. And they kind of go on dates and they sort of say like, yes, he's good for you. Or no, I'm like like not cool with that. I mean, they're all your

classic looking dating show types. I'm seeing abs. I'm seeing a lot of abs. I'm seeing a lot of filler and I'm seeing a lot of spray tans. Are they all British or are they British and American? British and American

I think mostly American. And the host of it, you may recognize her voice, is Melinda from season two of Too Hot to Handle. Oh, no. I thought I did recognize her voice, but there's no way. I know Melinda from season two. Are you sure it wasn't Melinda from season two? Too Hot to Handle. Oh.

That's well out of my jurisdiction. I also, I didn't even know Love Island had finished. I knew because Brian Clinton had the thing, but I haven't seen any, like, spoilers. I knew because Brian Clinton had the thing, but I haven't seen any spoilers. I think I've perfected my algorithm. Yeah, you have. It's keeping me away from that. Well, now that we're talking about dated and related,

it's probably going to change. So when does that start? This starts 2nd of September on Netflix. Right. Dated and related. You watch Siblings. If you watch the trailer visually, we heard some of it.

It is weird because you see like a couple making out and the brother's just sitting there like... I always wonder what it would be like if you had a sibling that was like big on PDA and you had to sit there with them. Yeah. Is that Instagram account still going sibling or dating?

I used to follow. I don't know why I haven't seen that lately. Oh, no, it's definitely still going. Still going? Yeah. Just falling out of your algorithm. Just gone out of my algorithm because that's great because sometimes you see people and you're just like,

and then they kiss and you're like, okay, well, they must be dating. They better not be siblings. They better not. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Well, I just figured out something, which I'm going to share momentarily. So there's a pregnancy zodiac trend that is basically when people are trying to conceive, they're trying to conceive on a certain time so that the baby is born at a certain time

so that they are a certain zodiac sign. You don't have a, I mean, I guess you've got, what, four weeks. But it's not that easy, is it? Oh, it's not. It's not. It's been like, should we make a baby tonight? Absolutely. If you miss a couple of weeks, are you going to then be like,

well, let's stop for a year because we don't want an Aries. Oh, God. Oh, no. Or a Scorpio. Forget the God. Or a Scorpio. Or a Gemini. I'm just naming ones that aren't me. You obviously want a Cancer because we're super cute.

We were talking about this with producer Jared before about, you know, like trying to conceive at a certain time and what it would mean you are and stuff and when you conceive. And I just went on this thing called a calculator. Heard of them? But it's like

a date calculator and you can work out what day it was, however many times you were conceived. Before thingy. I was born at 41 weeks. I was late. Yeah. That's why I'm so big and tall and strong. Yeah. 41 weeks exactly before October 8th,

1989 is December 25th. Christmas. 1988. Your parents had sex on Christmas. No, you can't have sex

on Christmas. They had on Christmas. Christmas is a free day. You don't do it. Why is Christmas a sex day?

Because your family's around. You're full of food. Oh, your family. Their parents would have been in like the next room. Oh, my grandparents. Christmas. And they already had a baby. They had a two-year-old.

Oh, yuck, Patsy. They would have been full from Christmas dinner. The 25th. Probably a little drunk. The two-year-old was probably playing with the toys. They were like, you play with your toys, Sam. Oh, yeah, Patsy and Craig went and had a Christmas hump. It would be a hump.

Wow. I'm offended by this. But I don't think that they tried to do it so that I was a Libra. Well, maybe they were like, it's Christmas Day. We simply must today because we need our next baby to be a Libra. I wonder if they did in some way because, oh, I've just, my parents have sex on Christmas every year because my brother was born the day before me but three years earlier.

They are Christmas humpers. They are Christmas humpers. Is your mum listening? Greg and Patsy, the Christmas humpers. But I've spent nearly every Christmas of my life with my parents. Wow. It's going to hit different this Christmas, isn't it? Can you think now when they've snuck away for like a little nap or something?

Yeah. We always have Christmas naps. Oh, no. Uh-oh. I wonder if my parents did try to sort of conceive me around the same time of year they conceived my brother because my brother was a soft, gentle soul, a quiet boy, a sensitive boy.

And I think they thought, oh, we could absolutely do with another one of these. And then I came along. Firecracker. Kicking holes in walls and absolutely tearing my hair out. Yeah. And it didn't work, did it? It didn't work. I wore a couple of Libras.

I looked what happened nine months before I was born. Yeah. Mid-May. Yeah. 1981. Is that a break in the milking? It would have been. Correct. Yeah. Correct. The cows were probably dried off. Yeah. Mid-May. Yep. 1981. Is that a break in the milking? It would have been correct. Yeah.

Correct. The cows were probably dried off. Yep. So, yeah, they were probably having a bit of time on their hands. But I may have also been a sort of a celebration at the survival of Pope John Paul II, who was, someone tried to assassinate him. Of course, my mum was Catholic. Oh, yeah, so she's like.

She would have been so relieved. Oh, my God. Thank God. The Pope's about the assassination attempt. Hold me in. I'm horny now. The power of Christ. The power of Christ compels me.

So, I don't know. Maybe it was that. Or maybe it was just the fact they had time on their hands because it was, you know, the cows had been driving. Wait, Fletch, I want to work you out. Probably that 23rd of June. So were you earlier on time? We'll just call you a 40-weeker

before the what of June? He was cesareaned out so I would say he was a sunroof. June 23rd. Yep. 79. So what year is it? 1979. Oh, you're exactly 10 years older than me.

Is that right? Yeah. Okay, here we go. It was a Saturday. Calculate. It was a Saturday. Saturday, September 16th, 1978. Can you find out what happened on that day?

September 1978. Let me hit Wikipedia for this one. September 1978. Can you find out what happened on that day? September 1978. Let me hit Wikipedia for this one. September 1978. Events. God, just give me a list, will you please? So you're a Virgo? No, I'm a Cancer. Oh, no, that's if you were born on September 16th.

Okay, events of 1978. And what did we say? What month? September 16th, 1978. That's not right. Yeah, it was nine months before June 23rd. Oh, so sorry, what month? September.

September 16th, 1978. He's terrible at Googling. What made the Fletchers have a hump? Jesus! Oh, okay. There was a Boeing 727 collided with a small private aeroplane in San Diego. Is this why you love planes so much? Oh, wait a minute! Pope John Paul I died after 33 days of being the Pope!

That'll be it, that'll be it. They got hot and horny for Popes. Oh, my God. The power of Christ compels everybody. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. In the last week, in the first part of the week, it was feeling pretty rubbish. Started to feel a bit bitter yesterday.

Not COVID? Nope. Dipped the old, got to go right up the schnoot. Not COVID. Again, which is good. Just a cold, man flu. Just really bad, that head cold everybody's got at the moment. So yesterday I started feeling a bit of shudder. I had this like course she was going to, which I forgot about.

Is she doing a course? No, she did. Hair dressing. She's going to hair dressing. It was a makeup thing. Oh. So her and her friend like booked to go and she's like, I've never really learned how to do makeup and she's like, I've never really learnt

how to do makeup. It's just, I've just done it. You just do it your way. Yeah, I was like, that's fine. She said it was,

it was more of like one of those girly days. Oh, okay. Where they go and they like paint a nude guy and then they get drunk at the winery. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just get a little bit closer for a look. Yeah. And they're like, do you want to come out for drinks with us afterwards? No, no, no. Don't even worry about pants.

So it was like a makeup thing. There was no nude dudes. But to be honest, it could have been. I didn't ask. Yeah. I was like, was there nude dudes? I think if you don't ask, they don't tell you. Yeah, true.

So you should always ask. That's why you said the whole truth and nothing but the truth because then they have to tell you. Yeah, exactly. But I'm not going to read my wife who Miranda writes every time she gets home. It seems a little problematic, doesn't it?

It does. So when she left, I said to the girls, I was like, okay, you're not going to like this, but we're going to spend the whole day tidying the house. Oh, okay.

And they're like, why? I was like, because you might not know this, but I can guarantee we could do anything today for mum, but when she gets we could do anything today for mum. But when she gets home and the house is being tidied, like properly tidied. You can tell.

There's just nothing she likes better. Yeah. And they're like, she does talk about cleaning a lot. So we got to it. And they actually did bloody well. They stuck at it. We did dishes. We did everything.

And I was teaching them about like when dad cleans, it doesn't happen very often, but dad does things mum doesn't do when she cleans. And then with one arm, I lifted up the couch and hoovered underneath it. And they thought I was about the strongest man in the world. That's hot. That's cool. Yeah. And then I was like, and these two.

Wait, she doesn't vacuum under the couch. As if. What are you supposed to do? Well, you've got to vacuum under the couch. No, she doesn't. Well, I lifted it up, dude, and I was like, and this too, and took the cushions off the couch and vacuumed under the cushions on the couch. Good stuff.

Like one of those sorts of thorough cleanings. Do you know I got home the other day and Aaron had taken all the glass out of the oven front so you could get in between where it's like all drippy? Yeah. You know how the glass sometimes can get a little bit of stain in the head? Unscrewed it. He's a good lad. You've got to set the glass sometimes can get a little bit of stain in the head? Unscrewed it. He's a good lad.

You've got to set aside a few hours for that, though. That in itself is a day doing the oven. So we did it top to bottom. Did you do the skirtings? Yeah. Oh, my God. Ran a duster around then, got them, and then just ran a – I actually have the perfect hand spread for our skirtings to get a wet cloth and just go –

Oh, yeah. It's perfect yeah good did the lot did the windows the inside of the windows did like a proper clean we were at it for ages

and then we finished and August was like I want to bake mum a cake yep and I was like okay we'll go maybe you just cleaned up I know

that was I was every time she'd be like with the electric beater I'd be like wiping it up as it went everywhere because when you clean you know it's got to stay clean for longer oh yeah and anyway then uh we had a little bit of time spare at the end and August is like really into drawing she

watches like youtube tutorials on how to draw things and so she's like I'm gonna draw one for you and one for mum of your favorite things okay so she gave me mine and it was like Dungeons and Dragons and like a chimney going up a hill and like all the things I'm into. There was a Highland Cow. Any Star Wars in there?

There was some Star Wars with a lightsaber and there was Star Wars and stuff. Beanies and caps. Yeah. Headwear. Extensive range of headwear.

And I was like, this is awesome. And she's like, and this is mum's and it was like feather duster, vacuum cleaner, a spray and white bottle. I was like, oh, mum likes other things as well. And she's like, oh, I couldn't think of anything mum does apart from talk about like how she's been cleaning.

I was like, okay, no, fair enough. She's not like a huge hobby person. And how did that go down? When she got home and the house was clean, like she was just like, oh my God, like you guys are so great. And I said, see, this is like the best thing we could possibly have done today.

And Sade talked about it all like night. And the girls, when I was putting them to bed, August was like, I'll give you something. She certainly likes a clean house. She does. I think you know her quite well. I was like, yeah. And you know what we're going to do next time she goes out?

Sort out the linen cupboard. Oh my God, stop it. How did Sade like the picture? It was a real awakening to her that she perhaps needs hobbies. Right, okay. She's got a good set of pins on her. Would she be interested in maybe trying out some marching? Not coordinated. Too much. Not coordinated. interested in maybe trying out some marching? Not coordinated.

Too much. Not coordinated. Yeah. Didn't she play soccer? Not her big thing. Yeah, she did play soccer. Yeah. What about a bit of

sort of stitching? Cross stitching? She wouldn't have the patience. I have done this before. I've sat her down and been like, you need like an interest or a hobby

that you're known for. And she said, I don't have time for hobbies because you have so many. Yeah, you're a hobby hog. Yeah, I am a hobby that you're known for. And she said, I don't have time for hobbies because you have so many. Yeah, you're a hobby hog. Yeah, I am a hobby hog. I just give everything. And I become like fixated on it.

Okay, so you have to ditch one of your hobbies and give it to Sade. Which one is it? Knife making. No, she won't. Lay thing? Lay thing. No, she won't.

She won't do any of them. She won't like them. She won't like it as much as me. Leave me alone. Leave me hide my hobbies. Alright. ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. I want to talk about when you abandoned a baby name. The first choice.

Oh yeah. Because my mother abandoned my name. Twice actually. So Hayley was her third choice. Wasn't her choice at all. Oh God, taking it out of her hands because she was so wishy-washy. Quite a funny story, too. Yeah, I know.

The reason she did it is so stupid. It's coming up on the show. What have you received mail? Oh, I know. It's just that I've never seen my name spelt that way before. Vorgahan. Vorgahan. Vorgahan.

That's lovely. Someone sent you a Star Wars T-shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Latchborn and Hay That's lovely. Someone sent you a Star Wars T-shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's all thanks to the warehouse. Now, Vaughan, you've been in your absence last week in your sickness. You have been demoted to stock. You're now in charge of closing off the whole aisle with that mesh thing

and getting up the big ladder. Oh, yes! Yes, I know. When you say demotion, I say promotion. Well, I'm in charge of the wheelie ladder now. Hayley's on checkout, and I'll tell you what, she does a fast... A checkout.

It's also more than a ladder. It's a mobile staircase. Yes, it is. This is true. It really is. For safety, though, I am going to have to ask you not to get on there unless you're a certified employee. And make sure you click the wheels.

Absolutely. You've got to lock the wheels. And Callie, good morning. Good morning, guys. Now, we are going to read out 20 items that are on our convey about these everyday items, grocery items, that you can buy at the warehouse. For each item that you can remember and read back to us

in the 30-second time limit, you will score a $20 The Warehouse gift card. Are you ready? I sure am. Here we go. My shift. Okay. Oh, I see you've got some cake mix,

white chocolate, fish sauce, tinned beetroot, apple cider vinegar, hand wash, peanuts. Yum, hope you're not allergic. Antiseptic, pickles, refried beans, baby formula, eggs, hand soap, different from hand wash.

Milk powder, corn flour, deodorant, rice bran oil, maple syrup, brown sugar, bottled water. Stop. Oh. All right, 20 items there, Kelly. The problem is, look, she did go fast. But the problem is she ran together things like refried beans and baby formula. Now, is that refried beans flavoured baby formula?

I'm not going to drink that. I think Kelly's more intelligent than that to know that I'm not talking about refried beans and baby formula. And is the apple cider vinegar the hand wash? Is it apple cider vinegar hand wash? No, it's different. Stop muddling with her head. She's got them in her head. Okay, Kelly, your time starts now.

Apple cider vinegar, refried beans, corn flour, maple syrup, bottled water, pickles, hand wash, white chocolate, cake mix, baby formula, what else have we got? Fish. Remember there was hand wash and there was also hand soap. Did you get the eggs? Hand soap, eggs. Yes.

You said peanuts, didn't you? I forgot something. Well, how many did you have, Vaughan? Twelve. I had twelve as well. Five, six, seven, eight you have, Vaughn? 12. I had 12 as well. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. 13 because I gave her peanuts. Okay, let's go 13 then.

Yeah, $260 of warehouse vouchers for you. Congratulations. Fantastic, guys. Thank you so much. Awesome. That was great. I think that was the fastest convey about we've had yet. Yeah, it was the end of my shift. It was the end of my shift. Just wanted to get home, did you so much. That was great. I think that was the fastest convey about we've had yet. Yeah, it was the end of my shift.

It was the end of my shift. Just wanted to get home, did you? Yeah. But if you need anything off a high shelf, this has got to talk to you. Yeah, talk to Vaughan. He's on stock at the moment. You're on stock. I've got access to the mobile staircase.

You can make filling the pantry a piece of cake with Market Kitchen Flour and the warehouse will play again tomorrow and 8 o'clock every day this week. We were talking about this the other day. I can't remember why, but we decided if we were to rebrand the show by using our middle names, it would be... It would sound like a boomer show, wouldn't it? Yeah, Peter, Ellen and Jane. On coast. Peter, Ellen and Jane on coast.

Coming up next, a mulled wine recipe that is going to get you tickled in these cold temperatures. Jane found it in her deceased mother's cookbook. Yeah, well, I hope you've got some star anise in your cupboard. You're going to need it. Speaking of star anise, we've got horoscopes up next. I think we're really out of a wig to be a Scorpio. I think we're cut out for this radio gig in 20 years. Well, we have decided if we're all still together in 20 years' time,

get ready for... And, Peter, you've got a hot take on how the All Blacks could improve. Does he? You woke up at 3am to watch the South Africa game of the weekend and you punished a couple of original steinlagers, didn't you? Yeah. You got a couple of armchair coach thoughts on how to increase the All Blacks' chance. Well, while we were talking about this,

this hot idea for a show, look out for it in about 20 years' time. Yeah. I was like, Jane, Jane. My Jane's slightly spicier because it's spelt with a Y, J-A-Y-E-A. To match the two Y's in my name, H-A-Y-L-E-Y. You said

spicy, but did you mean trashy? I meant 90s or late 80s. Anyway, so I'm Hayley Jane with a Y and I said, I was like, I wasn't supposed to be Hayley Jane. I was supposed to be, well, one, I wasn't even supposed to be Hayley. I was supposed to be Greer. Can I pause it?

Greer? Greer. Greer. Like G-R-E-E-R. We talked about Ashtons earlier in the show. I reckon Greers were the Ashtons of the late 90s. Yeah, so I was. We're little naughty rascals, females.

Yeah, I was a Greer and then my dad was like, ooh, no And my mum was like, what? Greer's beautiful. And he said, I hate Greer What would you have teamed Greer up with in the middle? I was going to be Greer Rose Greer Rose. Yeah, so then

my dad. How many people's middle names are Rose? Well, stand by because I was supposed to be Greer Rose, and then my dad said, oh, Greer's ugly. And then, sorry to all the Greers out there listening, but I have to say, I agree.

Hey, I like that. Anyway, so my mum said, well, fine, you name her. And he said Hayley, and she said fine. And then so I was... Fine then, you name her, is like...

Because mums pull that shit all the time. Fine then, you decide what's for dinner. But that's a one thing that's going to last 20 minutes. She's like, fine then, you name her. This is a human's life. Yeah, I'm Hayley because my mum got the strop with my dad. Yeah, fine then. Your problem. So I'm Hayley Rose and then I'm born and my mum is in hospital in Rangiora and next to her is another woman who's just given birth. And then my mum was there with me, you know, whatever,

on the boo probably. And then she saw the other woman. She said, oh, my gosh, have you just had yours? And she said, yeah, I just had mine. She said, what have you named it? She said, Hayley Rose. And my mum goes, oh, shit, I'm calling her Hayley Rose. Because Rose is very significant.

It was my mum's sister's middle name and she passed away. So it was a deep sentimental reason. But then my mum was like, I can't let this lady think that I'm copying her. So when the lady asked her, what are you calling your baby? My mum said, well, Hayley Jane. And Jane just came out.

And so now I'm Hayley plain Jane. So out there somewhere there's a Hayley Rose. Who stole my name. Who's a similar age to you. Who would be how old? 32 years. We're the same age to the day. Who was born in Rangiora.

Rangiora Hospital, October 8th, 1989. We've got to find the Hayley that stole your name. Yeah, and then my mum just didn't want this stranger who she would have never seen again to think, oh my God, how embarrassing, she'll think I'm copying her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she ditched the family name that was of great importance to her. And panicked.

Panicked and stuck me with Jane. But then also gave you a Jane with a Y. Also, this was the 80s, Your middle name should have been Louise. 100%. I remember when the 80s was a Rosalind Louise. Haley Louise Sprout. Makes sense. That rolls.

Haley Jane Sprout. But this got us wondering, because this would happen a lot, especially with friends and bagsying names or not wanting to seem like you're copying someone's name. Yes. But has there been a time when you had to abandon a name? Your first choice. And maybe you know this because your parents told you that you were going to be called something else.

I was going to be Jared. You were going to be a Jared. I was going to be a Jared. And you hate that name. You've been very vocalist. Until I met this Jared, I've had no time for Jareds. Why did your parents change? Because the nurse, I don't think

they were like 100% sold on it and the nurse was like oh he looks like a Vaughn and my dad is like the wildest flirt of all time that's where I get it from you get it from yeah that's where I get it from and we don't even know we're doing it we don't even know we're doing it we're just so friendly and pleasing to people yeah but people do say we're a couple of pests, couple of flirts, couple of dirty old flirts. And he was like, doesn't look like a Jared, looks like a Vaughn to me. And Dad was like,

you're right, actually. You're right, tits. It was a different time. It was a different time. He was just staring at her tits the whole time, didn't even look her in the eyes. He's like, no, you're dead right about that, actually. It is a different time. He was just staring at her tits the whole time. Didn't even look her in the eyes. He's like, no, you're dead right about that actually. It is a warning. Was your mum, Christine,

just rolled by the nurse and you were horned up dead? I think she was just like, probably the same. Fine, you name them then. I think my bloody... But I was going to be

a J-A-R-R-O-D. Oh no. That word just looks like a carrot. Jarrod. Jarrod. Jarrod. Jarrod. Fletch and Jarrod.

I couldn't imagine it. I'd probably be going by my middle name. Oh, hey, my mum's just clarified. She's listening from Italy. Yeah. Go to bed. She wasn't a stranger. She was the neighbour as well.

Oh, no. Okay, so you couldn't have the same baby's name as the neighbour. Yeah, and my mum said she wouldn't call me Louise. They did consider it, but she always considered what you'd be bullied as. Like, they wanted to call my brother Sam Ben, but then they thought Ben Sprout. Ben Sprout.

Ben Sprout. She said, we thought Louise, but Louise does wheeze. But every Louise does wheeze. Louise is always wheeze, yeah. Okay, so 0800DARLSATM, why did you abandon a baby name and maybe your parents

did this for your name? You were going to be called something else. 0800DARLSATM, we want to hear from you. Already some great stories coming through on the text machine.

Why did your parents abandon your first choice name? I'm never going to be able to read out the one that just got sent by the way. Oh, no. That might have to be a little podcast special.

Okay. A little additional podcast goody. We can't say those words on the radio. We have asked you why did you abandon your first name choice, baby name, or why was your name abandoned? Because my mum abandoned my name because she didn't want the neighbour to think that she was copying. Oh, we need to find this Hayley Rose.

Where is this Hayley Rose? Rangiora Canterbury. 1989. Also, I'm exposing myself because I always see Wellington born and bred, but I only lived there for none of my conscious years. Yeah. I moved to Wellington at two.

Oh, right. Okay. Just to clarify. But yeah, one of the reasons why you did a quick 180 on your baby name. Some great stories coming through. So someone said, my sister was meant to be called Serena, as in like serene. Yeah.

But she came out with a cord wrapped around her neck and she was a blue colour and was screaming like a banshee. And my mum looked at her and said, there's nothing serene about you. And so now she's called Helen. Because she was raised in Helen. Raised in hell. Coming out of there.

Okay. I don't know. I don't know the exact origins of Helen there. No. So many stories. Some wildly inappropriate to be read on here. Oh, my God. The ones, the off-ear ones you just told us.

Yeah. Scandalous. Good Lord here. Oh, my God. The ones, the off-ear ones you just told us. Yeah. Scandalous. Good Lord. Stacey, good morning. Hi. Why was your name, did you abandon a name or was your name not meant to be Stacey? No, we abandoned our son's name.

So we were 17 when we got pregnant. Okay. So we wanted to call our sons, well, I didn't. My husband did. Our first and second son, he wanted two boys and he wanted to call our sons, well, I didn't, my husband did, our first and second son, he wanted two boys and he wanted to call them Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter.

Oh, see? Yikes. Wow, okay. Ryu, so you're going to have a, presumably you're both, like you're British or Scottish. Yeah, we're both, yeah. Really white

and you're about to name your kid Ryu, the Asian character from Street Fighter. Wow. Wow. And Ken. Slightly, yeah. Ken you're going to get away with

because you've got the accent. You'll be like, come on, Ken. That's going to be it. Exactly right. Yeah, but not Ryu. We then decided not to. Well, I cried

and said I can't call him that. So we ended up calling him Brandon after Bruce Lee's son. Oh, yeah, that's all right. Yeah, that's okay. But then Connor, my second son, we decided to name after Highlander, the movie. Yeah, there can only be one.

And we got his name. Yeah, but we were 18 at this time. And when we had him, we were 18, and we looked on the back of the DVD to get the spelling, and it was a fake DVD. So the name had been spelt C-O-N-N-E-R instead of the way that it should be. Dude, what prison are your children in?

You're telling the story about two boys who are in prison right now fighting for survival. You know what? Can I say, he's now very, very good. They're very well, well, he's a QS. He's doing really, really well. So actually, neither one of them have ever been in trouble with the police.

Oh, I thought you were going to say, can I tell you, they are in prison. Can I tell you, currently in different prisons. They were considered a risk to be in the same prison. Amazing, amazing. Stacey, thank you so much for you. You're called Diane. Is this your name that was changed?

No, it was my daughter. Okay, and so what did you change it from into? So it was 2014 and my husband was reading a book, and there was a character in the book called Isis. Okay. Which is actually Egyptian for queen, and it's actually a very pretty name. Yeah.

Isis was an Egyptian god as well, right? There's a whole lot of attached to Egyptian mythology. Well, I know down the road Isis here in beauty took a while to change their name but they certainly have now. Took them a while. Two months before she was born it hit the news and we went, okay, maybe not. Abandon ship. Oh god,

Isis Jane Sproul, imagine. It's a lot to deal with. Diane, thanks for your call. Tony Allen, good morning. Good morning. This is Dad did a 180 to deal with. Yeah. Diane, thanks for your call. Tony Allen, good morning. Good morning. This is Dad did a 180 on your name. Dad pulled one out the bag, yeah. Okay, so is your name Tony hyphen Allen first name

or Tony middle name Allen? Tony hyphen Allen, late 80s, everything needed a hyphen. Yeah, I love the hyphen. Tony hyphen Allen. Yep. Okay, and what were you meant to be? Jamie hyphen Lee. Jamie Lee!

Jamie Lee! And so why did they change? Oh, that's so late 80s. Why did they change? It's so late 80s. So, obviously, you know, Mum had had me and had what I would assume was a pretty little girl, you know, all well and good and everything. And dad's skiting around the place about his wonderful daughter.

And like one of you mentioned earlier, my father is the biggest flirt in the entire world. You can imagine he was chatting up all the ladies. Yeah, I bet he was. And he came back smiling to ear, ear to ear, and came and said, I've done it, I've registered the baby's birth name, but it's a surprise. No. No.

Tony Allen, no. He's registered it. Felt wrong. Was the first guess. But no. Hey, my father, Tony, named me Tony hyphen Allen, which is my grandfather. Oh no. Oh dear.

What a narcissist. That's wild. Yeah, I'm Tony Ellen Neal. Tony Ellen Neal. So you were a female with three men's names. Three men names. I was like not James John Henry. No.

Tony Ellen Neal was good. But there you go. Oh, God. Wow, Tony. Well, Jamie Lee. You'll always be Jamie Lee to me. Jamie Lee Neal. Yeah.

That's got to ring to it. Yeah, same as mum. You know, that just always in the back of her mind. That could have been her fate. But no, you got Tony Alan Neal. Well, thank you very much, Tony hyphen Allen. More messages in. My mother-in-law told me as I was about to give birth

that the name we'd chosen, Avery, reminded her too much of the word ovary. Name immediately ruined. It's good. You know, if that was all it was going to take to ruin the name for you, it's better you found out on the side of it. Also, how many people are messaging in that the mother-in-law was a real decider on the name change?

Was it caused? Bulshton. Yeah. Yeah. My mum liked Susan until her brother said, Susan down your leg. What does that mean? Susan down your leg. Susan down your leg.

I don't know, but anyway, that was enough to that was enough that was enough somebody said that they are pregnant and Jared was on the table until we recently just went on the Jared we've ruined it

we've ruined it so they go back to the drawing board it's a very 90s that name very 80s 90s yeah I mean we've got a Jared

we love and respect however it's a naughty boy's name very any name that starts with J J's and K's yeah J's and K's the middle of the alphabet terrible behaviour problem and respect. However, it's a naughty boy's name. Very. Any name that starts with J. Yeah, J's and K's.

The middle of the alphabet there. Terrible behaviour problem. My name is Matthew, but when I was born, my mum wanted to call me Mitchell, and Dad said, that sounds a bit gay. Jesus Christ, Dad. So they settled on Matthew, but joke's on him because I am very openly gay. So there you go, Dad.

It's not in the name, is it? That'll teach you. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. It's going to happen. My parents were going to call me Corbin Blue. Sounds like a durry, doesn't it? Corbin Blues. Pick us up.

Pick us up. A pack of Corbin Blues down the deck. 25 pack of Corbin Blues. I ended up being a girl, thank goodness, because that name is horrible. So they called me Corbina. Corbina. Corbina Blue.

Corbina Blue. Corbina Blue. Corbina Pink. My parents were going to call me Lisa Marie because of Elvis's daughter. They changed Lisa to Desna, which they thought they'd made up. It turns out I'm a brand of bike in Russia. The Desna. The Desna 10 speed. The Desna.

As I said before, there are some here that aren't fit for broadcast on the FM Frequency Modulated show that we will put in the podcast. Yeah. They're a bit spicy. We were going to call our son Noah, but our surname is Moore. So if you say it in an Italian accent loudly, Hey, Noah Moore. Do you want any more spaghetti?

No more spaghetti for me Which sounds to me like the best reason to call your son no more You've got to think Do you remember Amy Schumer called her kid Anal Fisher? But then she changed it She changed it Yeah Anal Fisher

It was a Nile It was Jenna Jenna Till Fisher Yeah, Jenna Till Gene Oh, that's not Gene Atul Fisher It wasn't Anal Fisher Jenna. Jenna Till Fisher. Yeah, Jenna Till. Jenna. Oh, that's not. Jean Atul Fisher. It wasn't anal Fisher.

I don't know why anal Fisher came to mind. More people get Fischer's in there. She was going to call it because prolapsed anus, wasn't she? That's right. She backed out last minute because someone explained to her what it was. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now, as a podcast exclusive, we have the messages that we couldn't read out on the FM frequently modulated dial.

Yeah. Earways. When you broadcast publicly. Yeah. Because people are like, why can't you talk about it on the podcast? But not on the show. You have to adhere to the Broadcasting Standards Authority because somebody might accidentally stumble

across your show and be exposed to something that they believe to be indecent. Heathen Smut. That's my middle name. Hayley Heathen Smut Sproul. Whereas the podcast is like, this is the Wild West out here. You bitch. Yeah, you

fucking shits. Whoa! I'm sorry if your kids put this on to clean the house. Goodness me. I love the podcast. You shit bird. So we can tell you

things that we couldn't say on the radio. You've just heard it It's about names When you backed out of the names Did you just call him a wee wee bum I reckon you could probably get away with that on air You call me a wee wee bum You'll be hearing from my lawyer

I mean there's personal insults That are far beyond it So some of the ones that weren't fit to air My sister was going to be called Aaliyah No my sister was going to call be called Aaliyah. No, my sister was going to call her daughter Aaliyah. Right. Until her husband went golfing and written on the bench,

carved into the bench, said Aaliyah was fingered hair. Oh, God. And so he said the name. Fingered? There's so much carving. So much carving. Yeah. To carve that into a bench? How long have you got? So this fella or Sheila has just done fingering Alia.

Alia's gone home. Alia did the carving post fingering. Or the fingerer. The fingerer himself. Did you guys ever use those things in art where you had the vinyl or the thing? Chisel. Oh, my God. And you would never

pull them towards yourself because if you slipped you still always got a finger though yeah always and they bled so profusely when you were a kid

you thought you were going to die are you saying he would have carved with one of those I'm saying he may have stolen a tool from intermediate

yeah high school would have taken longer though because the chair is not linoleum I was going to call my daughter Isla But her surname would have been Coles And a friend pointed out

When you run them together It sounds like Isla Coles Isla Coles You've always got to run the teasing Yeah And not enough people do that Like even as you mentioned before on the show The famous one recently of Amy Schumer

Yes, Jean Attle Fisher. Genitals, yeah. It's not going to work, is it? No. And you've also got to look at the initials lined up. Yeah. You know, you don't want like a, I can't think of one. S-U-X.

Yeah. Sucks. Yeah, yeah, you've got to run the initial check. D-I-K. Yeah. Dick. A girl I know named her baby Oscar Peter Little, Yeah Sucks Yeah yeah You've got to run the initial check D-I-K Yeah Dick A girl I know named her baby Oscar Peter Little

But then it sounds like Oscar Peter Little So they changed his name Before Oscar Peter Peter Little Yeah There were some other

Here we go I was going to be called Giselle But my nana was dead against it And said people would call me Jizz for short. Now, I don't know if my nana would know what Jizz is. Jizz. I went to school with a Giselle. I don't think we called her Jizz.

The Jizz. The Jizz. What up, Jizzy? They'd 100% get that. Shane Van Gisbergen. Don't they call him the Jizzburger? The Jizzburger, yeah. I mean, he's owning it, isn't he?

Yeah, he really is. There's no arguing with him there. You've got no choice There was I had to abandon baby's first name Was going to call my second born child Eden Because I liked the place And we were born in a hospital near Eden

And they said like Mount Eden And so that got changed But then our last name's also Dix So they really helped me Eden Dix Eden Dix Eden Dix Eden Dix all day or day

All day or day So there you go There's the ones that we couldn't read on air I believe the rest of them were all Yeah right Some of them Yeah Good stuff

Some of them read a bit more like a dad joke So I'm not going to read those out Have you got the That was one of the ones that ever since I did a google and I believe that must be

a lie a lie a lie right okay it was a bad one it was a bad one yeah I won't be fooled

play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley what are you doing what are you doing I practice about an absolute an absolute shambles of a man. Fletch, if you're just here on the show, Fletch slept in today for like the first time. It's the closest he's come to miss since the start of the show.

I did not miss the show, though. You didn't miss the show. You got here in time. But it's just, you're just out of kiltie, you're breakfast late, you're like, I can't have my coffee when I usually have my coffee. That was so stupid. Ha-brr-brr-brr-brr. Some ditty little summer chant.

I press the earphone button. I got my head on a da-da. Ha-brr-brr-brr. It would be like what you were like if you were driving and you weren't concentrating and that song was on the radio and then you realise you've driven across a level crossing. You know? He's just like

we were on the wrong side of the road what a rude awakening right now it is time for my internal i think my internal body temperature went up about five degrees when that happened it's time for fact of the day day day day day How's the libido? How's the libido? Well, I'm on the oral contraceptive pill, so dead. Does it do that? Oh, yeah, man. Does it? Yeah.

And that. It does this as well. Yeah no it does. Or a contraceptive pill. Absolutely kills your libido. God it's about time men started taking it isn't it? Thank you. Thank you.

When they work out the side effects. I can't have this libido. There is one of the side effects. I can't have. I can't have a low libido. Really? Yeah. I did not know this is a side effect.

That is news to me. There always seems to be eight more side effects of this thing. Oh, my God. This is one of the most common side effects of bed. This is serious. Are you guys as well? What about getting a different one, getting on the Lawners or the Allisons? No, they all do it.

They all do it. Fawn. Fawn. Come on. Do some research, please. It is one of the most common side effects. I'm an ally. Listen to how appalled I am at the side effect.

Yeah, thank you. That means a lot. Oh, my God. Now that you're an ally, I'm all horned. You've fixed me I've fixed it And that's just a man solving another woman's problem So you're most welcome That's me being an ally

Solving your problems Even though you didn't ask for it You've had a little spill there I haven't, I've just used my sleeve to wipe it off So how was your libido then? Yeah, it's good. Is it all right? I'm not on a pill, so just stand.

Standard. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, this could help. This could help. Okay. Today's fact of the day is exposure to ultraviolet radiation.

That sounds terrible. But in the form of UV light. How do we get that? From the sun. Okay. But this is maybe why in the months without as much sun, you know, it gets to summer, everybody gets their horn on, doesn't it? Sure.

Everyone's a little bit more randy. No, I'm on the pill. Year in, year out. The sun's not helping. Yeah, I knew this because I'm an ally. Yeah, you did. Well, I know now, and I won't rest until this is solved. What are you going to do about my libido?

Show me your chest. Show you a little bit of my heebage. What if I pull this down a little bit? Oh, it's still... Still not doing anything. Still not doing anything over. It can't be said I didn't try. So exposure to ultraviolet radiation, especially UVB...

Okay. ...can increase the sex drive in both men and women. Is UVB the one at the parties, you know, when your teeth are all white? I don't know which UV that is, but I don't go to those parties, but those people get horned up there, don't they? Yeah, I suppose they get a bit horned up at the parties and the clubs. So apparently exposure to UVB specifically regulates the endocrine system. I'm saying that wrong.

Which is responsible for producing and releasing the hormones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They get you feeling in the mood. The endocrinologist. So, yeah, this is my favorite line, though. A new study in mice and men and women finds exposure to lab-produced, sun-like ultraviolet radiation, UVB specifically, boosts attraction and an increase in those hormones.

Okay. Because you know the Danes, the people from Denmark. The hot blonde ones. All of them. Yeah. Famously, a very attractive nation. When they, and anywhere that's like really far north, that have those winter months where the sun's up for two minutes.

Yeah. They have sun windows. Oh, yeah. They sit in front of it if they're like working from home or if they're having their breakfast, they sit in front of it. And it's like a bulb that, yeah, produces like a UV, so they still get a bit of a feeling of the sun. How miserable is that?

Yeah. And then for my allies that are on the contraceptive pill. Thank you. My goodness. Wait, no, you're their ally. I'm not your ally. What's your cause? Why do you need allies?

What's your cause? I'll get on board. I'll get on board with any cause. You're just rubbing your libido in their faces. Oh, and please don't rub your libido in my face. Keep your libido to yourself. So today's fact of the day is if you feel like you need to boost a little bit of libido,

maybe it's time for a trip to Fiji. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. I'll sing it loud in case you don't already know Pack up your and go Michelle Bowden is a communications coach who has shared her secrets for improving likeability. Five, I don't know if it's tips, but sort of like five things you need to make everybody like you. Okay, is the first one hypnosis?

No, the first one. Because you wouldn't need the other four, would you? The first one on her list, I mean, that's, your list is a lot shorter. Done. More concise. The first one in her list and I just do want to sort of preface this

by saying I stand by everything she says. Right. The first one is be attractive. All right. Wow. Okay so if you're

okay. Be hot. Yep. And people will like you. People love hot people. You know what I mean? But what if you're not hot? What do you do?

I can't relate. Stop reading this. I can't relate. So I'm not going to speak on behalf of a group of people I don't identify with. She says, look, you don't have to spend a lot of money on being hot. It's not about getting surgical enhancements or the like. Is your hairstyle best for your face? Do you keep yourself clean and tidy?

So what she means is just like make your appearance. Work on your appearance. Are you wearing clothes that flatter your body? Yeah, work on your appearance. Are your nose and ear hairs trimmed? Are you at that age yet? Yes. Yep.

Have a little nose hair trim. Do that. Clean teeth, clean fingernails and the likes of that. Did you tuck in your shirt? No. Never. Tuck in your shirt. I want to see if I like you even more. No. I've got too much of a. Did you tuck in your shirt? No. Never. Tuck in your shirt. I want to see if I like you even more.

No. I've got too much of a puku to tuck my shirt in. Me too. Tuck it in and you're like, hey, get out of here, puku. What are you doing? The way I'm dealing with my puku at the moment is just to keep making my pants higher and higher. So they're just like higher and higher. I was thinking about getting a male girdle.

Or not caring. Whichever one. Yeah, either way works, doesn't it? Yep. I guess, yeah. Well, that's number one. Make yourself hot. Number two is smile and smize.

Yeah, I like you. I like you. I like you. Smile is a winning behaviour recognised internationally as a sign of positivity. If someone's smiling, you were instantly drawn. What if they're creepy though? You like that smile? They sort of tuck their lips in.

Yeah, their lips disappear up onto their gums like, hello. Yeah. Hello, Clarice. So they say a wonderful strategy for persuasion, like if you're trying to sort of allure someone in, it's not the smile but the smize. That just looks weird. Does it?

Okay. Well, smile. The smile helps as well if you're hot. So one and two kind of combine. Number three, laugh and use humour. We do that. We laugh out louder every day here at ZM. Powered by chuckles, famously.

Powered by chuckles. Yeah. Always using humour. I mean, that's probably the one thing I can't stand in someone they don't have to be funny but if they're humourless like they can't take a joke or they take everything

too seriously I'm instantly repelled hot hot smiling funny show your hands and don't fidget

what just like leave them on the table oh my god I'm bedazzled by you so if you were on a date with someone hands on the table where do you put them just leave them there then they look. So if you were on a date with someone, hands on the table, where do you put them?

Just leave them there. Yeah, but if you're on a date and your hands are like underneath the table the whole time and you're fidgeting, it's a bit off. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Well, you were doing it specifically like you were playing with yourself. Is that a bit weird?

I can't look you in the eye when you're doing that. Please stop that. You're shaking the whole desk. You're not getting a second date. This is a restaurant, man. I'm going to have to ask you to stop doing that at the table. Show your hands and don't fidget. And the last tip, other than be hot, smile, be funny, show your hands.

To make anyone like you. You are describing a magician, by the way. You are. Is listen and don't talk over people. So you're basically, if you're talking over someone, you're implying that what they're saying isn't worth listening to and that'll put them off. Yeah, sometimes they're telling a boring story that it's going a long time.

And you're just moving it along, right? Yeah. You're helping the flow of conversation. But I think number one is the most important. Just be hot. Tuck in your shirt, clean your fingernails. Be hot. Pluck the nose hairs.

Pluck the nose hairs. Pluck the nose hairs. Pluck it all off. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly Little Pole today. How do you put your shoes on? Sock shoe, sock shoe like a psychopath? Or sock, sock, shoe, shoe? Yeah, I'm sock, sock, shoe, shoe.

I'm sock, sock, shoe, shoe, but I have been known every now and then to do a sock, shoe, sock, shoe. Sock, sock, shoe, shoe is actually a lot of fun to say. Shoe, shoe itself is a lot of fun to say. Shoe Shoe itself is a lot of fun to say. Yeah, Shoe Shoe Shoe. I feel like that is a... Like a Japanese... Or Chinese word. Shoe Shoe.

Is it? I think I heard it on Ni Hao Kai Lan, the Chinese version of Dora the Explorer. Okay. Shoe Shoe. Shoe Shoe.

The majority of people are Sock Sock Shoe Shoe, aren't they? Overwhelmingly so, sir. 91% put on their shoes like ordinary people sock sock

shoe shoe sock shoe sock shoe 9% because quite often I will sock sock get up in the morning sock sock

and get dressed and then shoe shoe before I leave yeah yeah yeah I'm barefoot on the way out the door I'm barefoot until about to leave

you take your leaning out boots off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you go sock, sock, shoo-shoo. Even at that stage, you're still going sock, sock, shoo-shoo. Well, let's see what the people had to say. Megan said, because the socks go on in the morning when I get dressed and the shoes go on later when I leave the house. She's of your persuasion.

Sock, sock, shoo-shoo, says Adam. Unless you're getting dressed after swimming and putting the back on in a wet changing room. Oh, yes. On that exception. Sock, shoe, sock, says Adam. Unless you're getting dressed after swimming and putting them back on in a wet changing room. Oh, yes. On that exception. Sock, shoe, sock, shoe. I had no idea. I do that too.

So you've got to plant. Yeah. You know, so you can plant one of the legs down and then do the other one. No, I stand on top of the shoe at that stage. I'll stand on the shoe and the sock on top. And then I sit down and sock, shoe, shoe. But I can see that that is acceptable only at this time of swimming. Amanda said, I used to do sock, sock, shoe, shoe. But I can see that that is acceptable only at this time of swimming. Amanda said,

I used to do sock, sock, shoe, shoe, but then I changed to sock, shoe, as it means I only have to get in position for each foot once. I get this. My left foot, I can bend down and do the right. For some reason,

the left, not as easy. So she's going, I'm down here, I'm going to do the sock, sock, shoe, shoe. For my boots. Oh yeah, the boots are annoying. Lacey situation. My flatmate, says Charlotte, once saw a post that said something like,

who the hell goes sock sock shoe shoe? And then tried it. No, sorry. They were always sock sock shoe shoe. But then they went sock shoe sock shoe. They tried it and now it's become their habit. It's what they do. Oh, no.

Psychopath. I'm going to try it. Dirtbags out there saying I don't rock a sock. Yuck. Anyone going foot, foot, shoe, foot, shoe. Foot, shoe, foot, shoe. I get accused of this in summer because you know I love a sockette. A socklet.

And people are like, you're disgusting. I'm like, but wait, look. And I show them it's hidden. It's an et. Yeah. But then in a boat shoe, people're disgusting. I'm like, but wait, look. And I show them it's hidden. It's an et. Yeah. But then in a boat shoe, people will go. Oh, yuck. There's no sock.

You can't have a sock. That's a breeding ground for athletes' foot and fungus. Yeah, it is. Now, if you're on the deck of a boat, I will allow a boat shoe. But any other time, boat shoes should be worn, especially with no socks. Absolutely not.