ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 8th December 2022

Episode Date: December 7, 2022

- Most Craved Foods- SLP: The Three Date Rule- Fletchs Uber Driver- Guy Montgomery- Tightass exs- Fact of the day day day dayyyySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, welcome to the Fletch Vaughan and Hayley podcast. It's thanks to McCafe, Simply Good Coffee. Try their delicious and refreshing iced coffee now at Macca's. The Pantone Colour of the Year has been released. Yeah, I love a little bit of Pantone Colour of the Year. Viva Magenta is this year's Colour of the Year, ladies and gentlemen. If you've got a paint mixing kit at home, Pantone 18-1750 Viva Magenta

Wow It is Pretty cool It's beetroot Is it? It's 100% It reminds me of sliced up When mum would

Home preserve beetroot It's like pink red Oh okay Vibrant pink red purple Have I missed something here? Do I need to be Doing this in the house? I thought you'd be all over this

Those velvet curtains You were talking about Do they come in this? Yeah probably Look like a look like a brothel i am painting my bedroom what's it called it's like a plummy kind of rich berryish color this is very maybe i could add in a little bit of this i like it okay oh yeah there's a there's a ruby red drape down further for people seeking advice on how to introduce Pantone's Viva Magenta into their home decor. Do they do one for like Rosene, Rosene to a color of the year? So like there.

Well, you can just take it to Rosene and they'll match it. Yeah. But Pantone isn't a paint brand, right? No. It's the color committee. Yeah. It is to paint what Unicode is to emoji. Yeah, right.

There's an overseeing council. And are they just like, I don't like that color? It's not a color. No, I don't think they can wipe a color out. What do they do? They can say their color of the year. Right, but what else do they do? I guess they're the ones that we should have asked whether or not that dress

was blue and black or green and white or gold or whatever it was. That was freaky deaky. They could have given us a definitive answer. Yeah. Okay. Absolutely. I quite like this colour actually, maybe in the wardrobe or something. It's all a little hidden detail. Are you going to regret painting your walls like bright pink?

I'm already regretting it. Do you know how how easy it is to paint how it's white at the moment so much of it's white because we've undercoded i live in a white apartment yeah and you're just like i could be done now and just move in and instead i have to be like cutting in these tiny lines of all oh my god i really regret it i had one of those panic like i'm gonna get a painter and then i saw how much, and I was like, I am the painter. You're doing it yourself. I'm the painter.

I did see the other day on your Instagram story, your kitchen, you're getting a wine rack built into the kitchen. Oh, my God. And they were drilling the holes, and I was really worried that our favorite Prosecco won't fit in the hole. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, by the way, it's today. Today is installation day.

Well, the start of my kitchen coming no, no. Okay, by the way, it's today. Today is installation day with the start of my kitchen coming in. Yeah. I'm so excited. I've been without, we removed our kitchen way too early. We got, you know,

we went guns a-blazing and we were like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's the easiest thing to pull out. Yeah, we were excited to store everything out and then I guess we thought

the process would be quicker. So we've been without a kitchen. But yes, I'm getting a custom made wine rack. I'm going to do a. Can I shout out? Variant Spaces. They're amazing. Of course you can.

They're my neighbours. I like your neighbours. Yeah, neighbours. Just around the corner. And Casey from Variant Spaces said she was going to build me a wine rack built into my kitchen cabinetry. It's like these holes with like a wooden plate with these little holes in it and you put the wine in.

But I gave her the Prosecco we like as a guide. So I know it fits. That's good. Because those are the only bottles that are going in, right? Oh my God, I'm not putting like trash wine. I'm not putting Savion Blanc in there. We do drink trash wine. That is like 14 bucks.

What about a cask? You should have got, is there anywhere in your kitchen that'll hold a box? I've got a metal tap, yeah. Perfect. Put in. Piped in. A little nozzle. Lovely.

And then you just replace the goon sack. Gravity fed. Yeah, it's gravity fed. You don't even need a cup. That would be amazing. Or just fill the water receptacle in your fridge with goon. Oh, I don't have a water fridge. That would be the ideal.

Imagine a water fridge and it's chilled goon. Chilled goon. That would actually be lovely. Just thinking't have a water fridge. That would be the ideal. Imagine a water fridge and it's chilled goon. Chilled goon. That would actually be lovely. Just thinking out loud here, guys. That would be lovely. Like a non-plumbed water receipt thing where you've got to fill up

your own water. Yep. Put goon in it. Yep. Brilliant. Damn it. Brilliant. It's too late.

The cabinetry's done. Brilliant. Next house. Goon tap. Next house. That's what Sade says and that always scares me. She's like, next house?

I'm like, we're staying put. Let's just stay put, thank you. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hello, good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. This morning, right now, we're broadcasting from a secret location, a mobile studio in the Garden City.

We're in Christchurch. We gave away those clues yesterday. From 7.30 this morning, we're going to switch from our mobile studio to a tent, a MacPak tent. When you say mobile studio, all I can think of is the Life Education Trust van, like we're in the caravan.

And we're not in that now, are we? We've got Harold the giraffe. We've got Harold through the curtain. But that's not where we are. No, Harold's not here. But yeah, 7.30 this morning, if you're in Christchurch, be on the lookout for a MacPack tent because we could be inside it.

And if you're the first to find us, a trip to Wanaka. What if there's other MacPack tents set up and people go in unzipping? Exactly. Don't someone's just gone camping in a park, which they shouldn't have. Well, yeah, we've got a whole bunch of MacPack goodies and a trip to Wanaka to give away after 7.30 this morning if you're in Christchurch.

Coming up on the show, the top six, and some would say that today, three years ago, is a big day. Yeah, it's the Wuhan outbreak anniversary of COVID. Three, nope, we're not clapping. Not clapping. Bad anniversary. Bad. Three. Nope. We're not clapping. Not clapping. Bad anniversary. Bad anniversary. Bad anniversary.

And so I've got the top six things I would have definitely achieved by now had it not been for the pandemic. Of course. Oh, you 100% would have. Oh, all these things. Easy and more. It is truly the only thing holding you back for it.

Also coming up, our silly little poll. Do you believe in the three date rule? This is where you have to go on a date with someone three times before you get down to business. Gotta get down to business. More like three hours. I've been in a relationship for 12 years. Yeah, next on the show.

I'm hungry and I want to talk about food. The foods we crave the most. Clay, Zed M's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I'm hungry. I'm always hungry. Especially at this hour in the morning. Yeah. I want carbohydrates. I want a scone. I want a cheesy scone. Maybe we had those scones in the

real peppery Vaughan. Yeah. A McMuffin. A Mickey Mouse. Thanks show sponsor. Thank you. I'm more of a bagel. Oh, yeah. They're good. What do they do?

The Benedict Bagel at Bloody McDonald's. So they did a bit of a survey around Britain, and that's part of the United Kingdom. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. I've heard about that. I think I've heard about that.

They surveyed 2,000 Brits to try to come to the top 10. Oh, no, they did 500 foods. But I've got the top 10 most craved meals and treats. Okay, is chocolate one of them? Chocolate is one of them. Okay, yum. Okay. Chocolate is one of them.

I'll go from number 10. Can I just say you've done so well this year with lists and learning how to do the lists. Because usually I would go to one because it's first. And then people will tap out because there's no reason to stay around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now that you're starting at 10, people really want to know what number one is.

Everybody listening right now, just shout what you think number one is going to be. Ready? Three, two, one. We'll have to wait and see. We'll see. We'll see. Number ten.

This is Britain, by the way, and I don't agree with most of them. Number ten is a chicken burger. I'll agree with that. I'll crave a chicken burger. Number nine is a chocolate cupcake. Plain. Yuck. Oh, yeah.

Okay. That's not for me. Number eight is a pepperoni pizza. Yum. Sometimes, what's wrong with a pepperoni pizza? Sometimes just plain and simple. Plain and simple. Especially like a good New York style, like a Sal's.

When my brother and I, my brothers and I lived in the sewers under New York City under the tutelage of our rat ninja master. Gosh, we used to love a pizza. Did you? Pepperoni mostly? Yeah, yeah, pepperoni pizza. Wow. Michelangelo, our brother, loved anchovies on his pizza.

Just got an advanced palate for a teenage. Yeah, not bad actually. Mutants. Number seven is the very own... Ninja Turtle. I don't know if you noticed. We picked up on the subtleties of your analogy. We're moving on there.

You weren't a teenage mutant Ninja Turtle. You're going to like this one. Yeah. Double Quarter Pounder. Which is number one on the list? Seven. Yes. That's my go-to.

I love them so much. A QP. A QP. Number six my go-to. I love them so much. Yeah, you love a QP. A QP. A QP. Number six, Chups, like a bag of crisps. Oh,

so not hot chips on the list? No. Well, in some form, just you wait, just you wait, teasing, teasing.

Number five, for the Brits, Spag Bowl. Yeah. Okay, out of all the most craved foods, the top 10 most craved foods. That's a comfort food though. They don't crave it on the rear like I would a burger or chips.

I can understand it though because it's a comfort food and maybe reminds you of home and it's hot and it's warm and it's carby. I would have thought a creamy pasta would have done better though. Yeah, carbonari. You love a creamy pasta. He's trash. He's a trash. Why am I trash?

Week after week we say he's a trash boy. Wine, chocolate and a creamy pasta. Okay, maybe a chocolate creamy pasta The sauce is made from white chocolate Yes Okay number four And this is very Brit Fish and chips love Yes

I love a little bit of fish chippy And a crab stick Okay here's your hot number three And a crab stick That was also a trash You're on your third strike, buddy. Oh, my gosh. You will not be warned again.

Number three, a classic margarita pizza. Your plain cheese sauce. That was my brother Leonardo's favourite. Oh, my gosh. You went underneath the streets of New York City. We've moved on. Okay, your top two. Okay, the most craved foods.

Okay. What do you reckon, the most craved foods. Okay. What do you reckon, Vaughn? You said pizza. Hot chips. Because we said fish and chips. No, that's fish and chips. That's part of it. It's chocolate.

Have we had chocolate? We haven't had chocolate. Okay, it's got to be chocolate. Number two, cheese. Oh, yeah. Okay, and number one? How good is cheese? Chocolate.

I love cheese, but I can't say I've ever got a strong craving to just have cheese in my life. I hate it for cheese. Sometimes I'll just grate a whole lot onto a plate. Same. I'll get a block of cheese and just be like, hum-da-lee-dum. Do you know you can get 3kgs of grated cheese for $23 at Costco? Yeah, I know.

I need to go. Are you potting? Apparently it's like American grated cheese, which doesn't have the corn floury. You know, we put something on the outside of our grated cheese so it doesn't stick together. Americans don't care. It's there. It doesn't stick together. Americans don't care. It's there.

It doesn't stick together. Really? Yeah, there's three cages. Is it orange? Because, you know, when you're in America and all the cheese is... Sorry, I beg your pardon. I'm so sorry. A bit of cheese passion came out there.

A bit of cheese passion. Sorry, I'm sorry. I beg your pardon. Cheese passion slipped out there. I'm just passionate about cheese. All cheese is good cheese. Okay. Because I don't see types of cheese.

You just see... I'm cheese blind? Cheese. Yeah, I just see cheese. I accept all cheese. All cheese is good cheese. Okay. Because I don't see types of cheese. You just see I'm cheese blind. Cheese. Yeah, I just see cheese and I accept all cheese. Believe in blue cheese? Yeah, I like a blue cheese but in moderation.

Holy shibolis. It'll blow you away. But number one, chocolate. Nah. No, I get that. I'd go cheese ahead of chocolate. You'd go cheese

over chocolate? Yeah. Lollies. Love lollies. Lollies are my number one. They weren't on the list so were they? Yeah. Fizzy Coke bottles. You know how I chocolate. Yeah. Lollies. Love lollies. Lollies are my number one. They went on the list, so were they. Yeah, fizzy Coke bottles. You know how I feel about those.

Yeah, good stuff. Great, now we're just all hungry. Silly little pole It is so silly, silly, silly That silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Today's silly little pole. Do you believe in the three date rule?

Clarification on the three date rule. That is a guideline that says you should go on three dates before sleeping with a new love interest. Absolutely not. 33% of people said yes.

67% of people said no. You've just got to go with it. All these rules these days. I'm not saying you should or you shouldn't. I'm just going like, if you want. It seems so out of date, that rule. Like, where did that even come from? Does it have like an origin?

Wait till you hear about the no sex before marriage rule. That'll blow your little mind. I mean, just wouldn't you rather, I don't know, test drive the car on the first visit to the showroom? Or are you going to go to the showroom and talk about this car three or four times? Do what feels right, do what feels good. Maybe it happens on the first date, maybe it happens on the second, maybe it doesn't happen until the fifth. Maybe it doesn't happen at all.

But I don't think there's any hard and fast rules. No, you do what you want, eh? Yeah, yeah. God, we're liberal, eh? Yeah. God, we're just so open and liberal. So it was overwhelmingly... No.

Anti-rule. Yeah, it was anti-rule. But that also, we're saying that might be sleep with them sooner or sleep with them far later than three dates. Yeah, true. Okay. But a third of people said yes, they did believe in the three-date rule. Did we get some written feedback?

Yes. Heather says... Heather. Heather. H-E-T-H-A. Oh, I thought you missed out Heather and you missed out her A. Heather says... Heather. Heather. H-E-T-H-A. Oh, I thought you missed out Heather and you missed out her A. Heather. Heather.

Okay. Says, unless the date goes badly and you just want to have fun, then that's a different story. Yeah. If the date goes badly, do you want to have fun with the person you just had a really bad date with? No. Unless they're real hot. And then maybe you're like, yeah, just once. Okay, now I'm back on board.

I want to see what's going on. Just to say I back on board. I want to see what's going on. Just to say I did. Yeah, I want to see what's going on down there. Adele says, no, sleep with them on the first date. It's all about making clear my expectations and whether he can meet them. Oh, okay, good. Oh, my Lord, I can't even read out her last sentence. Show me.

That last, just the last sentence, if he's not. Oh, yes, yes. Show me. That last, just the last sentence if he's not. Oh, yes, yes. Hang on. She just wants to know that he's going to be able to satisfy her basically in a very specific manner. In a certain department.

And you know what? Good on her. Open, honest. Don't be ashamed that that's important to you. Different things are important to everybody. Halalala.

Halalala. Someone else said Ended up marrying him But didn't sleep with him Until the fourth date Oh okay So there you go That worked for you

That's fantastic as well Beautiful Tash I used to believe this But I slept with a guy On the first date And now we've been together For two years

Yeah exactly Taylor says Did it after two dates And been together two years There's a See there's no rule Yeah Let things happen naturally.

No rules to follow, says Laura. Yeah, I like that. Nicole said, I had a three-month rule. He respected it, and now nine years later we have two kids and we're getting married. Oh, that's beautiful. That worked. Ashley says, yes, I do believe in it, but I don't always manage to abide by my own rules. Yeah, well, the body wants, you know.

The body wants. Denise, if you're both feeling it, why wait? But if you're not quite ready by date three, no rush there. We couldn't agree more. Yeah, that's perfectly put, isn't it? This is the vibe, isn't it? Abby says, yes, but almost as a backstop.

If you haven't wanted to sleep with them by the third date, I feel like it's going nowhere, purely based on weird societal expectations. Ah, like you should want to. Yeah. That's about the point, you should want to. Yeah. That's about the point you should want to. If you haven't already wanted to. Kendall, I believe in the three-month rule.

Don't introduce a guy to your friends or family until you've been dating for three months. Millennial men are too inconsistent, so they might last that long. They might become something. Yeah, okay. I think I introduced Aaron to my family about three months in. Maybe two, three months.

In terms of introducing him to my family Maybe two, three months. In terms of introducing him to my family. Yeah, like properly. Yeah, I can't remember when I introduced Sade. I was quick too though because I'm a mummy's boy and I need my mummy's permission. Yes. And I'm a daddy's girl and daddy has to say yes. Daddy has to say yes, I approve. Mummy has to

say, I'll allow it. And of course that's absolutely fine. Yes. There you course, that's absolutely fine. Yes. There you go. That's a nice little little poem. We were in a Uber on our way to the airport and you told me something I can't even believe about Ubers, Fletch.

So I guess I had somewhat of a unicorn Uber driver. An Uber following the speed limit? An Uber driver. An Uber following the speed limit? An Uber con. Were they following the speed limit? They were. Was the air con on? He was an Uber driver with over 1,000 trips. Holy.

Wow. And five stars. Not even at four points. But that's impossible. It's 5.0. It's not impossible. It was 1,000. But the minute you don't get a five-star rating,

the minute you don't, your average can never be five again. Yeah, but I'm saying that I took a screenshot of it. He had a five. Who is this? Ubercorn. Ubercorn. I'm just like, I couldn't believe it. I was like, how is this even possible?

Bum-ba-da-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum. Like 1,000 rides and a 5.0. I'm on like a four. I looked at mine. I'm a 4.87. I'm a 5.0 I'm on like a 4 I looked at mine I'm a 4.87 Because I've got Some drunk rowdy friends Mainly you've actually

Been very naughty In an Uber I was paying for Yes I'm not even going to try I'm a nightmare You are a nightmare I don't know where I've put my Uber

On your phone love On your phone, love. On your phone. What phone is it in? No, I'm just searching UB. It's the black one. Is it Uber Eats? No. No, it's the same company.

4.87. Oh, same. We're the same. 4.87. Oh, my God, shame on 4.87. I think I would be a solid five if my wife hadn't vomited in an Uber. Yeah, your wife definitely put you down 0.25. Bad woman.

But you've clawed that back, that's for sure. I think mine's from last minute cancels. Also, I take a lot of in the city like short trips. Like if I've got stuff to get home because I don't have a car. Yeah. I don't like short trips. Do you think people get pissy because I live out in the, not the WAPs, but on the way to the WAPs

because they have to come and get me and then take me somewhere. Yeah. And maybe on the way into the city it's fine because then they've got another job but if they're coming out to a house do they get pissy that they've kind of got to drive back? They don't have to. I ordered one well in advance the other week

and where were we going? Sade was there. I think we went out with you guys. Did we go for dinner? I'm talking like a month and a half ago. Oh, I can't remember. The quiz night? Nah. And anyway, he was coming. Oh, it was. It was a quiz night because we went out for dinner beforehand. Yeah. And

he was driving and then he tried calling me and he's like, can you cancel it? I'm like, I'm not cancelling it. I want you to come and pick me up. He's like, well, no, it's going to take me too long to get there. And if I cancel it, I get pinged. I was like, if I cancel it, I get pinged. I get pinged and you pay. And you want to cancel it, you pay for it.

We had this argument on the phone about who was going to pay for it. And he just couldn't get that I'd – he's like, but I'll just order another one. It'll be closer. I'm like, no, you don't understand. I'm aware of – This is such an attitude of someone that has a 4.87 rating, isn't it? Yeah, that screams 4.87. I'm in traffic.

I'm like, yeah, it's bloody rush hour on a Friday, mate. I'm aware of Auckland's traffic situation. My friend and I were recently in a Uber and she was trying to sell us solar panels. That's not her job in that moment. The job is to... And I I was like I've got an apartment

There's no room for solar panels Yeah no I'm not in a solar panel place Oh well I mean good on them for hustling Oh yes I admired it I was just like oh yeah You bought a couple didn't you From the yummy ZM think tank

This is the top six Hello And happy third birthday to the outbreak of the COVID-19 virus. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear COVID. Happy birthday to you. And many more. Don't blow on the cake.

We don't blow on cakes anymore. Damn it. This is the anniversary of the Wuhan. Since the outbreak in Wuhan. Yeah. Not the first ever, you know, that first case that's still a little bit of a mystery, but they think wet market situation. One guy, this is, you know, when Wuhan was like, okay, we've got a problem here.

I remember being in 2019 and being like, eh, it's fine. We had a big trip booked and stuff for 2020 and I was like, ah, it'll be fine by then. I remember being in Rarotonga on holiday in that January when it was starting to happen throughout the world and the numbers were getting up and people were like, oh, I wonder if it'll get here.

Nah. Sorry, it's just been China for a while. And then it was Italy and. And nah, it's all right. It's just going to be in China for a while. And then it was Italy and it was Iran and it was South Korea. And then it just went crazy. So I've got the top six things I totally would have done by now if it wasn't for the pandemic. Oh, yeah, okay. Of course.

Because it put so many plans on hold. You said big trip. Big trip, yeah. Yeah, lots of people did it. Yeah, lots of people's plans got absolutely put on hold. The top six things I would have achieved by now if not for the pandemic. Number six, I would have climbed Everest.

You know that was on my... I know you were going to. I had the crampons. Because you've got a rivalry with Adam Perore, don't you? Huge rivalry. And he's done it. He's done it. Yeah, I know.

And I was about to do it quicker. Yeah. But then the pandemic hit. And you're about to marry Sally Ridge. I don't want to talk about it. That's salacious gossip. He's actually beating you. He's beating you in life.

She was taken from under me. But then they didn't last, so... Yeah. Number five on the list of the top six things I totally would have done by now if not for the pandemic

are being an all black. I know. You were training up hard. I was. You were so close. Yeah, I was close. And you're quaddy. Quite quaddy.

Yeah. Or very quite heavy. And then you've got the long COVID and you just haven't been able to run fast since. Oh, yeah, close. And you're quite quaddy. Yeah. Or very quite heavy. And then you got the long COVID and you just haven't been able to run fast since. Yeah, my priorities totally changed, you know. Yeah. Did you play in high school or anything like that? Nah. Didn't need to. I showed a lot of promise

at primary. Right. Yeah. And that was what really inspired me to get back on the, you know, back in the training and such. Back in the field. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six things I would have done by now if it wasn't for a pandemic. I would have opened a Central American Catholic themed bar heavily decorated in religious relics and keepsakes.

Oh, that could have been quite cool. Yeah, that would have been real cool. What would it have been called? Alvorno's. Alvorno's. I had the signs made and everything. Taqueria. Virgin Mary's and slight little like enclaves and stuff.

Would have been like dim lighting, sort of a red lighting. Yeah. Yeah. Taqueria. Virgin Marys and slight little like enclaves and stuff. Would have been like dim lighting, sort of a red lighting. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably a good thing because a lot of people underestimate the cost of avocados and ingredients needed for South American or Central American. Limes. Yeah, exactly. Corn.

Exactly. Number three on the list of the top six things I would have done by now if not for the pandemic, of course, after I opened Alvorno's, would have come my own tequila brand. Yes. Alvorno's. Alvorno's, yeah. Alvorno's tequila. Synonymous with Alvorno's, the bar.

These things aren't meant to be. I mean, you could still do it. No, but the pandemic. Yeah, it's totally changed. Staffing shortages and such. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six things I would have done by now if not for the pandemic, I would have volunteered more of my time.

Right, to others. To others. Right, you can still do that. Oh, can I now? Actually, probably now more than ever. Yeah. The world's totally changed. A lot more people in need.

Yeah, but you don't want to get COVID, do you, again? There's that and, you know, just the lingering memories of Sally Ridge and I opening Alvorno's that we've... Just tampered it, yeah. And number one on the list of the top six things I totally would have done by now if not for the pandemic, I would have did a yoga. You would have did a yoga, right?

I would have did a yoga. Okay, yeah, you can still go to yoga. Yoga only shut down for like a few months. What? It's only opened. You can do yoga on YouTube and stuff. Oh, no, I'd need the professional assistance. No, you can get professionals, but they just...

What if I tie myself in a pretzel at home and I can't get out of it because I did it without a yoghurt? Yeah, fair call. A yoghurt, which I believe is what you call a person who's a professional in yoga. Yeah, you do, a yoghurt. Yeah, a yoghurt. I'm bloody yoghurt after being tied up in that pretzel too.

Oh, my God, Dad. Come on, Dad. Cheap from you. That is today's Top 6. Play Zim's F No rest for the wicked. New Zealand's very own favourite comedian, Guy Montgomery, is hitting the road once again with a new show, and he joins us in studio.

Good morning, Guy. Good morning, Hayley. You are going to make everyone laugh. Wow. Anyone brave enough to take a chance on me, certainly. There'll be huge chunks of the population who don't even know this is happening. No, they're about to know. You're going on tour.

Well, I don't want to alarm you guys, but you know there are huge chunks of the population who might not even be listening to this radio show right now. Not huge. I wouldn't even call them chunks. I'd call them fragments. Wow. I've just been in a studio with Mike Hosky and he was hanging shit on you guys. He's talking trash about everyone.

No, yes, I'm going to go, I'm going to try and make people laugh. Yes, correct. So this tour is next year, middle of next year and you're out here and this is very organised for a comedian. Yeah. Well, you know, I'm very organised. I've got a year planner. I've got one from 2019 all the way up to

2029. I've got every year mapped out. You think 2023 is big, you should see what's going to happen in 2027. Wow. We were just talking about this off air and we'll let you into our off air chat Some of them

No you were part of this conversation When I say you I mean the listener Of a huge chunk of New Zealand Yeah yeah But like if you release If you announce your tour this early on That means you're a big deal Oh I don't know about all of that

But it does mean That people get a nice run up. They can really think about whether or not they want to come. So basically, we've not even said it. We've been dancing. I'm going on tour with a new stand-up show next year. The show is called My Brain is Blowing Me Crazy. And it's what my stepdaughter Olive said at dinner one night when she was trying to say her mind is blowing.

My brain is blowing me crazy. And I thought, that's a much better turn of phrase. It is. And you know, what my mind is blowing is as nonsensical as my brain is blowing me crazy. So I took it, I ran with it, and I've got a new hour of stand-up, and I'm going to take it next year to the following places.

Wellington, Auckland, Hamilton, Tauranga, Palmerston North, Dunedin, Christchurch and Nelson. To the rest of New Zealand, I say this. I'm sorry. So what a great Christmas present. It would be. If someone did like comedy or Guy Montgomery or Guy Montgomery, it would be an outstanding gift. I get it why you would go this early now because I feel like most comedians would promo their show

with a Facebook event that they would send to their core family and extended friends. Maybe two, three weeks out and say please buy tickets. That's the traditional business model. It truly is. And comedy as a business is quite a challenging one. So I thought what if you change

parts of the model? But it's very exciting. It's the biggest tour I've done in New Zealand. I once tried to do a 20-date tour. I tried three times in the year 2020 slash 2021. Oh, no. Wow. It's hard to remember exactly.

But, you know, it felt like the fates intervened. So I'm really excited. And also the rooms are bigger than I've done before, which is quite nerve-wracking because it's always a guess. You don't know how many people are going to come watch you do comedy. Well, name some of these places. Oh, the Nelson Theatre Royal. Oh, yeah, that's beautiful.

That's beautiful there. Glenroy Auditorium in Dunedin. I've never even done a show in Dunedin. Oh, I've been there. I've never even done a show in Dunedin. Oh, they'd love you, mate. So you've got to imagine that there'd be some people who would want to see what it's like. I imagine there'd be a couple. A couple at least.

That's good. A couple in that room will still feel quite light. And I think you're discounting the power of radio because they're going to be listening now. I'm not underestimating the power of radio. Oh, good. Just as well. What month are you in Dunedin?

Is it May? June. June. Oh, it's a dreary shit hole in June. They'll need a laugh. They'll need to be lightened up with a bit of a laugh. Also, what I do with concert tickets

is if you get them like six months ahead, by the time the concert rolls around, you're like, wow, free concert. Yeah, true. I would liken you coming out now on this side of Christmas to sell some tickets. You were 2023's Big Day Out. Yes.

That was always a classic. Mum and Dad didn't know what to get you for Christmas and they got you a Big Day Out ticket. Or like the comedy equivalent of a Crisco hamper. You're buying ahead. These are both remarkably high-end Christmas gifts. I think that's the name of your next show, Guy Montgomery, the comedy equivalent of the Crisco's Christmas hamper.

One of the worst shows I ever did, I did a Christmas show in 2015. It was in May, and it was called Guy Montgomery Christmas. And I did it in flesh-coloured tights. I had a sock over my unmentionables, and I would get an audience member to make eggnog at the start of every show in character as this crazy guy. In May? Yeah, in May.

And once I gave it to this woman and she was a bit pissed up and she wasn't really feeling it. And I sort of thought I can cajole her into enjoying this show. And what I learned is that if you give a sort of drunken, unenjoyable, I guess an audience member who's drunken and not necessarily enjoying the show two eggs, they will throw the eggs at you while you're performing. Oh, my God.

Hit you right in the sock. So I've stopped distributing both eggs and rotten fruit and vegetables at my shows for fear of the same thing happening. Before we let people know where they can buy tickets, when's Spelling Bee? When's Guy Montgomery's Guy Mont Spelling Bee? Well, this is more information.

This is an information-heavy talk break. I'm going to give you a free plug. I know. I made a TV show for three. It's called Guy Montgomery's Guy Mont Spelling Bee. Hayley, you were a competitor. You were in the very first episode. I am.

Oh, okay. You have to tune in to see how I fare. It's a comedy Spelling Bee, four contestants each week, four comedians. The winner, they win a one-way ticket to defend their spelling crown in the next week's episode. And the loser, they must suffer the indignity

of sitting in the dunce's corner and wearing the dunce's hat. Truly shameful. The stakes couldn't be higher. And I think, I don't have a date yet, but I think it starts in the new year around February. Exciting. Mid to late February. 2023, the year of Guy Montgomery. Come to TV3.

Well, we'll see. They could both be absolute disasters. Absolute disasters. Could be back to university to pick up a teaching degree. I want to earn the big bucks like those teachers. Yes, raking it in. Well, if you want to go see Guy's new show, which I can guarantee will be hilarious,

go to livenation.co.nz for tickets and information. Good luck for about seven months down the track. Hey, thanks and good luck for Christmas and whatnot. Have you got gifts for your loved ones? Not yet. I've got a great idea. Do you? Oh, go. Yeah, yeah. Head along to guymontgomery.co.nz

and sort yourselves out. Wow. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Hey, just asking for a friend. Yeah, never asking for yourself, are you? No. Just on behalf of a friend. A friendly friend.

Well, I've had some correspondence in on the FBH socials. We have, and I shall now read it to thou. Hey, team, I've got a bit of a dilemma for you on behalf of my quote friend. My quote friend is getting married in a few weeks and is having four bridesmaids. Congratulations, friend. They're all really close and are excited to be in the wedding party. They've all agreed that times are tough and buying dresses can be expensive one-off purchases. So my friend gave them a specific colour

and said that they were free to choose a dress that they wanted to wear on the day and maybe something that they would wear again. Yeah. But there's a problem. My, quote, friend isn't happy with one of the dresses that the bridesmaid has picked. It's quite short,

and she thinks it's not really wedding appropriate. It's quite revealing compared to the other bridesmaids' dresses and my friend is worried it will draw attention away from her and her husband-to-be during the ceremony. Well, you don't want to give granddad a heart attack either. This is why you don't have sexy people in your bridal party. I'm going, all my ugliest friends. I was in your bridal party.

Can I stand by what I said? So the question is, is it okay for my friend to tell her bridesmaid to buy another dress? I mean, if you're going to pay for it, there needed to be bigger criteria at the start, didn't there? There needed to be more. Theme? Yeah. Rules? Or just dress code?

You've been a bridesmaid before. Were you told exactly what to buy or were you given like a rough criteria? Once I was told what to wear and that was bought for me. One other time we sort of all chose together, but we were in the same thing. And then two of the times it's been like, here's a website and you can pick from this different range. So like this shop does multiple different styles, but we'll all wear it in pink. We'll all wear it in blue or whatever. Lavender.

Yeah. So, but then you do, and then you choose a style that flatters your body. Right. But okay. So what do, though, if it's too short? I've got banging boobs, a tight but, you know, quite well-sized dumper. Yeah. I'm going to pick a shape that really shows off my assets. Basically, yeah. But then that's the problem, right? This person's obviously showing a bit too much. Yeah.

It's a wedding, remember? Like, you've got to cover up. I feel, no, I feel like I would say to them, like, it's not, it looks so great on you and you look amazing, but it's not quite the right tone for the day. Okay. You know, maybe just saying, it's not that it's not a great dress and you don't look great in it, it's just that it's not really the right vibe. Okay, do you think... Pull it out at the reception, perhaps. Oh, yeah, do a costume change.

Yeah, do a costume change. Do you think you should be prepared, if you're making that call, to then pay for an alternative? I don't think anyone should be getting married at the moment. It's so expensive. Well, also, like, what you said, this wedding's, like, four weeks.

It's, like, what, just after Christmas? Yeah. A New Year's wedding? Yeah, that's so far on. Okay, well, this is... Yeah, I feel like I... If you've got a problem with it big enough and it's so annoying to this friend that they think it's going to ruin the day and distract from them and their husband,

I would offer to go like, hey, look, it's not really the right style. Why don't we go halves in another one? Or why don't I help you and I'll chuck in a bit of money? Yeah, I think you've got to have somewhat of a solution this close to the wedding. Well, we want to know what you think. Have you been in this situation? I don't know. What would you do?

It's your wedding or a friend's wedding. Yes, but. What would you do? Would you say something? They did say to their friend, you can just go and buy whatever you like in this colour. All right. 0800 DIAL ZM is the number. We want to know what you think.

You can text as well. Do you think that the friend should bring it up and get her to change her dress or just let it be? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, if you've just joined us, some correspondence that we've received for our segment Asking for a Friend, because it's never you asking. Never asking.

The friend's wedding is coming up. She said to her brides a Friend because it's never you asking. Never asking. The friend's wedding is coming up. She said to her bridesmaids because it's expensive, you know, just here's the colour. You go and buy a dress that suits it. And then one of the bridesmaids has bought a dress that's a little revealing up top and a little revealing down the bottom. What should the friend do?

Okay, Emily, what do you reckon? I think she just needs to sit down with the bridesmaid and tell her how she's feeling. They could even go shopping together to find a more appropriate dress. This is what I thought, like get involved with it. Who's paying though, Emily, for that new dress? Because she's already paid for the first dress.

Hopefully the tags are still on and she can take it back. If it's that dye, you do hope that they've left the tags on. Yeah, okay, good call. Thank you, Emily. Gemma, what do you think she should do? I think that the bride just needs to accept

that she told them that they could choose their own dress, so that's what they're allowed to do. If she wants to control what they look like, she kind of just needs to contribute towards the cost. I know, but think about the photos, you know? Yeah. Well, you know? Yeah. Well, you could always Photoshop the dress a bit longer. Yeah.

Cover up the cleave. Yeah, cover up the cleave, cover up the knees. Okay. Bit of Photoshop, but then imagine showing the friend. Exactly. She's going to see the photos and be like, that's not the dress. Where's my boobies?

Oh, it's horrible. But she made the rules, didn't she? She did make the rules. She said, Gemma, thank you for your call. Alyssa, what do you think she should do? I kind of think that if she's a close enough friend, you should be able to tell her that you don't think the dress she's chosen is right. Right?

Like, if someone's in your bridal party, it feels like you should be comfortable to tell them that. Yeah, I agree. It's your closest, your nearest and dearest. You should be able to say like, oh, babe, look. It's a bit much for the day. But do you think she should pay, Alyssa, she should contribute to the new dress?

I mean, kind of, just because if your friends already put money down and you're asking her to buy another one, that feels like a lot. Also, I feel like a bridesmaid's dress, you can't really use that for something else because they're always hideous purple or pink or orange. They're nice now. Are they?

Yes, they are nice. They're nice now? They didn't used to be nice? They used to be horrible taffeta things. They're very in the moment fashion-wise, aren't they? Yeah. Alyssa, thank you so much. Some text messages in.

Just tell her maybe she can return the dress and get a more appropriate one if she's given it enough time. Someone else says, who cares? Your friend is still the bride on the day. No one can steal that thunder. And she needs to pay for the dress.

Don't be so controlling. It's your wedding. If there's a day you're allowed to be controlling. It's that day. It's your wedding. It's your day. So overwhelmingly, you'd say,

what's the... I would say... It is overwhelmingly. Well, I think the main thing is just have the conversation. I think that's the thing. See what happens. Approach it delicately and go, you look great in that, but... What about putting it on the groom, put it on the husband?

Oh, yeah, okay. He doesn't think it's appropriate. Put it on him. He doesn't mind. Guys, we do this all the time, you know? What, guys don't want to see a bit of cleavage? Yeah, he might be. He's only got eyes for one lady.

You have to say, change your dress because my husband can't stop oogling at you. No, my husband thinks it's inappropriate. But he's not, though, is he's not going to think that, is he? Oh, no. Or, you know, my mother is playing for the wedding and she said it's inappropriate. Blame someone else.

It's what I do all the time. If I don't want to do something, I make it somebody else's fault. Say you've got some deeply religious cousins coming. Yeah, and they've never seen cleavage in their lives.

We just can't have it on this day. I mean, I'm invested in the story now. Yes, please give us an update. Keep us updated in the new year. Or just send us a an update. Keep us updated in the new year. Or just send us a photo of four classy women,

including the bride, and one racy, raunchy boobs. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Well, we've got MacPak goodies to give away soon. We sure do. And a trip to Wanaka. The first person that finds us in our MacPak tent somewhere in Christchurch.

We'll give you more clues very soon. Well, if you're looking to turn on a Brit. Oh, okay. I'm here to help. Okay. I'm here to help. I'm telling you what to avoid when trying to turn on a Brit. Okay.

Okay. Keep your eyes on a little British export. Oh, yeah. I do love a little Pommy accent. A little Pommy accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not as much as I love an Irish. Oh, yeah. I do love her little Pommy accent. Your little Pommy accent? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not as much as I love an Irish. Oh, yeah.

Holy. I'm lost. Tell you what I've really come around to is a Welsh accent. Oh, okay. It's very musical and it bounces around. Yeah, yeah. Diddly diddly diddly diddy. Not quite as diddly diddly diddly diddly as Irish.

They're more of a fiddle diddly diddly. Yeah. Welsh are all like, da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-ha-da-hoo-da-hoo. Da-da-ho-da-ho-da. God, they're probably dancing in the street with the news that you find their accent attractive.

I think they'll be stoked. Yeah. Do you remember when the New Zealand accent was ranked sexiest in the world? Oh, that was... Yes, but it was... Was that the gendered specific one? Why, was it male?

Yeah, but that was... Yeah, because we're a bit up here with it. And it's not good on the ladies, I don't think. Whereas on the men, it's slightly more palatable. It's not.

It's not. It's not. But yeah, I always cringe when I hear our accent when you've been away for a while or you come back

and you hear it on the plane. Or you see it on an American TV show. And you're just like, bleh. Shame. Yeah, but people love it. Well, if you want to turn on a Brit

regardless of your accent, because this is text, this is speaking on message. So it would be without our cute little rinky dink South Pacific accents to bolster us up. Two thirds of Britons who class themselves as single are turned off by poorly written messages. I think this would include people

from all over the world, right? Yeah. If somebody's messaging you, because you know, people don't use caps anymore. Don't get me started. Oh my God. It makes me want to scream.

Somebody wrote a message the other day on our community Facebook page that was illegible. And somebody, one of the first comments was, can someone please tell me what this is? And someone went through and tried to work out what each word was.

And it sort of semi-made sense, but even they couldn't get all the words. Like a World War II code breaker. Yeah. Is it because it was poorly written or like slang? It was poorly written slang, but also like words were really, like tomorrow, for example, was spelt T-A-M-R-R-A. Tamara.

Tamara. Tamara. It's bad, but if someone was to use, like, the wrong your or their, I'd just be like – I'm judgy McJudge pants. I know. Same. I'm just like – Two, two, two.

Yeah. Just like, no. But then you meet them in the hot and you're all just – Absolutely. We're all the same lying down. Isn't it where the saying goes? Yes, I believe so. Whether I'm lying there or in their bed or over there or they are in the bed.

Yeah, yeah. I want to run my fingers through their hair or their hair right here. They are here. And were we or were we? Yeah. Were we, were we? I want to do all those things too. Two. So 40% of people say text talk such as WUU2,

which is what are you up to? Yep. Or lol or a turn off. Now lol should... Oh, I love lol. Oh, it's made a good comeback though. Lol was so lame for ages. Oh, I know.

It still is. Well, I know Carwen's screwed up her face at you. Producer Carwen, are you not into a lol? Only if it's like my cat just died lol. You know, like a... What? Like a real ironic use of lol. Like an ironic lol.

Like I just ran off my car lol. Yeah, exactly. I've been in a terrible accident in hospital lol. Like it's not a lol situation. Yeah, it's not a lol situation. Right, okay. And then you're not allowed to use some of the laughing emojis anymore because they're old and duddy too, aren't they?

Apparently. I still use it though. Yeah, but you're old and duddy. You're getting there. You're getting there. How old are you? 24. Oh, jeepers.

And you can see it too. Carwen uses capitals at the start of a sentence though, which I do love. Yeah, and that's why she's our friend. Yeah. But sometimes I won't just to piss off Hayley. Actually, did we check that the new social media person does capital letters? Did you

check that? Oh my God. I will walk. I will walk. Even though you've got a mortgage to pay. I'll sell it. I'll sell it and I'll walk and I'll just go back to humble living. Yeah. Get an apartment in Huntly and I'll sell it. I'll sell it and I'll walk and I'll just go back to humble living. Yeah.

Get an apartment in Huntly and I'll start again. I will W-U-R-K. Okay, I will walk. Oh, Vaughan. Oh, Vaughan, you missed that. Is that right? Oh, no.

W-O-L-K. Walk. Walk. Okay, phew. Think about how you sound it out, dumbo. Right, right, right, right. We are broadcasting from a MacPak tent somewhere in Christchurch. We are.

The clues that we've been giving you, the first person to find us physically will win a trip to Wanaka. This is an epic prize. And a range of Mac Pack gear for a lifetime of adventure. Can you just turn down the mysterious sex

in this place? You're kind of late. Sorry, what's that? Well, I was... We're outside. It's the energy of the chair. He's really sunk

into a new kind of... I'm going to have to speak to the Mac Pack sponsors and get one of these chairs. I'm not asking. I'm just taking it. Just taking it.

Fold it up. Folds up. Goes in the bag. Folds up get one of these chairs. I'm not asking. I'm just taking it. Just taking it. Fold it up. Folds up. Goes in the bag. Folds up nicely. In the boot. Lovely. So great tent as well. This will fit the whole family.

Yeah. Will fit us. We're three quite large people. Height wise. Height wise. Thank you. Have an absolute party in there. Yeah.

So let's give away a clue to our location. So we've said throughout the week, we've pointed that we're in Christchurch. We obviously tagged in our dinner last night. People were messaging me saying, the cat's out of the bag. You're in Christchurch. Dinner. Shout out. Fifth Street.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Should we just lean into just talking about the meal? The lamb. The meats. The meats. The veggies.

All right. So a clue. The meat. The veggies. All right. So a clue. A clue. We are surrounded by zips. Oh, yes. That's a good clue because zips on the tent. Zips on the tent. Correct.

On the backpack tent. Yes. But we're surrounded by them. Yes. Ah. Okay. Big zips. I'm telling you. Yes. Big zips I'm telling you

Yes Big zips Got big zip energy Alright, that is our clue That is our clue The first part We got them zip line and sinker How are we going to do this

Like if there are multiple people running Or walking towards our tent Do they have to be the first to touch the tent? The first finger on the zip I reckon wins Right, what if there are two fingers at once from different people? Zips are quite small. Yeah. Famously, you do use two because you've got to pinch the zip.

Right. But I'm saying if there are two people and you're saying they have to open the zip or they have to just touch the tent. They've got to open the zip. Right. And scream, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, I love you. Yeah, that's a bit narcissistic. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, I love you. That's a bit narcissistic. Beautiful people.

A compliment. Just a compliment. This is what happens when she's away from her fiancé for one day and can't get her to tell me five things she loves about me. I'm deprived of compliments. Can I have a couple, please? Geez, it shouldn't be that much of a struggle. You waited too long there, Vaughan.

The green of nature really sets off your skin. Sets off my skin? It makes your skin pop. I'll take it. Fletch, one from you, please. You look great in that backpack camping chair. The blue pops your... He's turned my compliment into a promotional.

Yeah, absolutely. The slight hay fever you're experiencing from pine pollen is giving you a really lovely glow. I feel like such an Aucklander right now with this hay fever. It's Harry Styles, late night talking on ZM. Wait. There's a kerfuffle. Now, we are broadcasting from a MacPak tent at a secret location in Christchurch.

Some people are running towards the tent. Oh, my God. I believe. Who have we got? Who have we got here? Come on in. Come on through the flat. Come on in.

Come on through the flat. Love you. Hello. Love you. Hi, guys. Hi. Oh. Take a seat.

Catch your breath. Take a seat. I've got a mic, actually. I've got a mic there. Just test. Can you just test? Testing. Testing.

Testing. Testing. One, two, three. Testing've got a mic there. Just test. Testing, testing. Testing, testing. One, two, three. This one there. Testing, testing. Have you got me in this mic here? Testing, testing, testing. Let's just put the mic. Let's just use that mic. Here we go. Good morning. What's your name? My name's Liv.

Hi, Liv. Hi there, guys. I'm Rhys. Rhys. You're a bit out of breath. Liv and Rhys. Now, you heard the clues, and you were like, I'm Rhys. Rhys. Liv and Rhys. Now you heard the clues and you were like, I know where they are. Yep. I was on my way to work. Were you?

You said zip. Zips. Yeah, yeah. No, just talk right in. Yeah, I was on my way to work and you said zips and I thought, oh, Adventure Park? Yeah, that's a good clue, wasn't it? Did you think, God, that's a good clue? Vaughan's given a good clue there.

And then you said the other ones, and I thought, yep. That's it. How much of a diversion? Because we're somewhat out of Christchurch City. How much of a diversion is it? I can work out towards Lincoln anyway, so. Right. Do you need to say anything to your boss that you'll be late? I've got admin meeting at 8 o'clock, so I'll be late.

Oh, you're going to be late for the admin meeting. Well, we could probably. That's all right. We could do the admin meeting now. What's on the agenda? What needs taking care of? Oh, just a shout out to Ladbroke School at this point in time. Well, we could probably... That's right. We could do the admin meeting now. What's on the agenda? What needs taking care of? Oh, just a shout-out to Ladbrokes School at this point in time. Okay, Ladbrokes.

Oh, so you're a teacher? Yeah, I do. Well, the students are going to be... They'll be running riot. ...teacherless. They'll be in the art supplies. They'll be painting up the wall. We've got one week to go, and I'm pretty much done.

Oh, yeah, classic. Yeah. Teacher departure lounge. It's the end of the year. You've got to put all the chairs on the desks, don't you, so they can clean the floors into a thorough clean. You actually have to do that. And you've got to put it all in the corner.

It's a pain in the arse, actually. Can I ask, Liv, what's your relationship? We don't have a relationship. We met in the car park and ran together. Really? Wait, you decided to split the prize together? Why not? That's romantic as heck.

I love this. I thought you two were together. Let's join arms. Yeah, you link. We're on a united front. Let's not make this a major. I love this. I would have pushed him out of the way and ran ahead.

No, we ran together. I hate doing Auckland, but not here. Yeah, wow. Well, we have for you a bunch of MacPak goodies and a trip to Wanaka. So I don't know how you're going to split that, but I love the sharing. Yes. Wow, that is so cool. You found us.

Yeah, we are at the Adventure Park. I've been here before, and it's home of, I think it's the world's longest and highest zip lines. And I've done it, And it's so amazing. It's so much fun. Do we have time? Maybe. Maybe. Surely.

Surely. Maybe. We're up to the top of the track. Something to do after the show. You get to go down on the chairlift for free. So I'm a little bit hungover. There'll be no walking today. What about catching the chairlift up and walking down for free?

That's more my gravity speed. That sounds more like it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you've got to pay. Liv, where do you have to be today? I'm at work right now. You just don't know it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you've got to pay. Liv, where do you have to be today? I'm at work right now. You just don't know it.

Oh, okay. She's working from home. Well, congratulations. You have won. You've found us all thanks to MacPack, a trip to Wanaka, an epic trip, and a whole bunch of MacPack goodies as well. Designed a New Zealand MacPack. You're trusted everywhere.

Look at my chair. Look at this camping chair. Isn't that lovely? You can put things in there. Bottle opener there. Yeah, bottle opener. I question whether you're in a studio or not

because it sounds pretty good. It sounds good. Look, we've got one of these we've got a new Comrex unit. I assume maybe you're in a shop a Mac Pack store. No. Especially if it's windy.

Yeah, no it is. That's the power of the Mac Pack tent it'll block out the wind. It will, you're beautiful. That's a free plug there. Free plug for backpacks. I'm going to pull them up, yeah.

Congratulations, guys. Well done. Well done. Thank you. All right. We'll come back soon with our ice cream index. We'll put that off. Our search for the best ice creams in the country.

There's reasons why you leave partners, isn't there? Yeah. There's reasons why you go, isn't there yeah there's reasons why you go you are not it for me and a woman has shared on TikTok the most the pettiest behaviour that I've ever heard of so she had

a boyfriend for it was a few years until she realised he was keeping an Excel spreadsheet of every dollar he had spent on her because he believed she owed it. And then I'm going like, I'm not talking, oh, I shouted you some flights, you know, hundreds of dollars.

On the spreadsheet was also one day was $3 for a banana and a piece of toast. That's fair enough. I mean, bananas are expensive. He made it for her. He made her, like, toast with banana on it. What, so does this include the service fee? He should add another $1.50 on there for time. So you stand by the spreadsheet.

Sounds like a great guy. So when their relationship started to fall apart, he then forwarded her in an email this spreadsheet. There's, like, so much on here. There's some morning juice, pastries, the metro, a burger, and then an Uber getting back to when they were on holiday. And they went, this is when they were in France. A bottle of wine, sandwich and Coca-Cola, a kebab, some beers, chicken dinner.

Most of it's food. I hope he threw it in her face in one of those arguments where she's like, you never do anything for me. And he was like, if you'll just give me a moment, please, I've got a spreadsheet here. Or you never spend money on us. Hold on, I'll just get my spreadsheet up double quick. No, this guy sounds absolutely just.

No, good on him. No, he's running a tight ship because next thing you know, there's a bloody Anine Bing hoodie in your wardrobe. There's an Anine Bing t-shirt. How's about how we saw a lady at the airport yesterday with an Anine Bing hoodie and everyone's like, that's not cheap. Yeah. Oh, my God. Respect.

Can we pause and say, didn't we find out recently that people have been like texting and dobbing in their partners and saying like, that costs this much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they see people wearing a neem bean. Yeah, one night I put a video up, Sade and I went away for our wedding anniversary and like it was, I just put up a lovely video, like a scanning video and someone replied, that t-shirt your wife's wearing isn't cheap. And I was like, don't tell her.

I was living in beautiful, ignorant bliss. Yeah. Don't tell him I was living in beautiful ignorant bliss Yeah And now every time I see the words anine I have a little Yeah but I mean how do you get on with your partners Like if you pay for something You just know that they'll pay for something Or it's all your money

Who cares Finances is one of those things you've got to be on the same page as Because you'll argue about it incessantly if not He's done it down to the cent Like one of the things they spent money at a bistro He did 37.02 You've got to be on the same page, Yaz, because you'll argue about it incessantly if not. He's done it down to the cent. Like, one of the things they spent money at a bistro, he did 37.02. Like, he's right down that line. And he wants it all back.

Like, I get splitting the meal with your friends. Like, you go out for dinner, pay for what you ate, or split it three or four ways, whatever. But it's your partner. There's never been a good story about a guy keeping a spreadsheet on anything his partner does. No, there's never. Do you remember that guy that kept that spreadsheet for an entire year of where he asked his partner if she would like to be intimate with him? Yes. And he cataloged every time she said yes, which he said was color coded differently. And then no was one color with the excuse used at the end.

And then he was like, and she found it online and the dude just wore it that is guys don't open spreadsheets take it from the guy who's terrified every time he accidentally opens excel when he's trying to open the app next to it in the toolbar nothing good can happen in excel also shout your girlfriend a bloody banana and a piece of toast you know like i think we can just let that one slide so we want to know if you we want to hear the stories of your tight ass ex. Because maybe it was

the reason they're now your ex. Yeah, exactly. And we're not talking about they were good with their money and saving and buying you diamonds. We're talking about when they took it to a sort of pathetic level. Like you go out on a lovely date and then they invoice you for half. Oh, dude, I was just about to say,

imagine sending an invoice. Like actually opening up your invoice. But in triplicate, of course. Yep, yep. With a due date. White, yellow and pink copy with a carbon slip in between. Yes!

Of course. All right, so have you had, in the past, a tight-arse ex? Yeah. We want you to give us a call. 0800-DAL-ZM. Text as well, 9696. Now, we're talking about a tight-arse ex. Yeah. We want you to give us a call. 0800 dial ZM, text as well, 9696. Now, we're talking about your tight-arse exes.

Yeah. And that's probably why they're your ex. Oh, my gosh. So, a woman has shared on TikTok that her ex, when they split, had revealed that he'd been keeping a spreadsheet of every dollar and every cent that he had spent on her so she could pay it back. Down to the last banana. Down to the last banana, down to the last slice

of bread. Dude, we can beat that. Really? Seriously? Yeah, we'll take some calls but I've got some texts lined up that make a banana and toast look like a very generous lover. Okay. Oh my god. Also, this is a really funny image. I wish you could see what I'm seeing right

now, which is Fletch with his mouse and his monitor and a laptop. Now, Vaughan's got a laptop on his lap, hot spawning from a phone. This is just technology and nature. This is living. You got some messages, Vaughan? Or do you want to take some calls?

Let's go messages first. Messages first. We're just having a technical... But I don't know who... Just read them out. Just hone it. We're in nature, you know. Play fast and loose.

Play fast and loose with everything except fire. Because, of course, fire... I was going to say before we should light a fire and have some marshmallows. That's the vibe. But pine forest. My friend's ex would get angry if she used the whiter side of the cheese slice. You know the white vegan cheese slice? That is the only acceptable side to use.

Otherwise, you're getting a shaving. I like the thin side, but I like the thick side as well. But then, you know, those cheese slices get a bit floppy, don't they? Yeah, they do. Yeah.

Someone said, my ex-husband, after chatting on me with my friend, Disgraceful. contacted Flybuys and triedaceful. contacted Flybuys and tried to halve our Flybuys points and I only found out when Flybuys contacted me about this person insisting on having

half of the Flybuys. Our PTA to slam the door, like walk out of the house and be like, I'm taking half the Flybuys. Could you get half the Flybuys in a divorce? Or you'd pay them out? Whose name? Well, yeah, maybe someone gets the Flybys and someone gets the air points. Yeah.

I'd quickly buy a blender before they got all the points. Yeah, same. I'd buy one of those Philips lightbulb sets. I always see them in the flybys catalogue, but there are a few too many points. You know the ones that change colours? Just short.

The ones that connect to... No, those are tacky. The hues. No, they are tacky. What, so you can have a green lounge? You want a green lounge? Well, no, no, you could just say... Oh, look, my lounge is purple now.

Siri, dim the lights. Oh, right. But they're normal lights. You've heard of atmosphere? Yeah. Siri, it's sexy time. And then it just reds. Oh, okay.

Yeah, right. Or Siri, it's sexy time and the lights just go out. Imagine going around to someone's house and they said, Siri, it's sexy time and the lights went purple. You'd be like,

Oh, but tacky. Or blue and you can see every blemish on your body. Yeah. You're like, no, no, no. And the stains on their couch. Yeah, like a blue light. Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

Oh, dear. My ex would ask me to pay for everything, but make me give him my card so he could go to the counter and act like he was paying. Oh, wow. No, no, no, no, no, no. My ex said, do you want anything? As they nipped into the service station, I said, oh, yes, a drink, please. He bought me out a 600 mil Coke and then said, that's $3.

That was $3.20 if you want to put that into my account. Oh, dear. Wow. Oh, no. That's why these people are now exes. Yeah. Yeah. Tight ass ex.

Somebody said, my ex paid for dinner. We had agreed to pay halves, but then he said I also had to pay the 2.5% credit card fee that it incurred. Well, I guess 1.25% of the 2.5% credit card payment incurred. That would be like a few dollars. Yeah. Yeah. But there's no shortage of it, people. How embarrassing if you're dating someone and you have to go to like a dairy and buy

a packet of gum and say, and can I have like $4 in coins? Yeah. So I can. I've got to pay back my partner. I've got to pay back my partner for the credit card surcharge. Is anybody else a spreadsheeter? Have we heard from anyone that had a spreadsheeter X? No.

No spreadsheeting. We haven't had any reports of spreadsheeting on the text machine. Now, spreadsheeting sounds like a new dating term that we could have just coined there. Yeah, it does. Spreadsheeting. Spreadsheeting is where your partner keeps too much of a meticulous track of finances and it's killing the sexual romance. Yeah.

We better send that into Metro and they can print that as an article. Yeah, sounds great. Spreadsheeting. We could do that. We could submit a dating term. Let's get the Herald to put an article up. Can we get a red banner, please? Can we get a red banner? No, they only give red banners

to breaking news. And when Kate Hawksby thinks something. Yes, that. But I thought something. Yeah, I know, but you're not. I'm the Kate Hawksby of 40-year-old men. I don't know if you are. I've heard that said about you before. I'm the Kate Hawksby of 40-year-old men. I don't know if you are. I've heard that said about you before. I'm the Kate Hawksby of

rural, white, 40-year-old men. Right. I'm just checking the NZ Herald banner at the moment. What have they got up there in red? Kiwis targeted for the $300,000 job that no Australians want to do. Perth mining. Oh, yeah. Brand new dating terms. Spreadsheeting. Put me

in red. Yeah, but you've got to have, if you're going to have a red banner for spreadsheeting, it's got to be, you've got to hook people in. What's it going to say? Yeah. All right, here's a few people

who have messaged in. My ex gave me the receipts for, or there's someone on the phone I don't want to, is there? Oh, Jenna, on line four. Good morning, Jenna.

We're in a tent in the forest. Woo-hoo! Good morning, how are you? Good morning. Are you just checking, Jenna? You don't happen to be in a tent in the forest. Good morning. How are you? Good morning. Are you just checking, Jenna? You don't happen to be in a tent in the forest? No, unfortunately not. I'm on my way to work.

Are you in your car on the road? I am. Sorry if it's noisy. Isn't that amazing? No, but isn't it amazing? We're in a backpack tent in a forest and you're in a car on your phone. That's technology. And we're chatting.

We're chatting. We're shooting the shit. That's wild, isn't it? Jenna, tell us about your tight ass ex. Yeah, we're chatting. We're chatting. We're shooting the shit. That's wild, isn't it? Jenna, tell us about your tight ass ex. Yeah, so he used to have a spreadsheet and so if he paid

for the groceries he would split it and put the half amount in the spreadsheet or if we went out for dinner or...

How often would he send you an updated spreadsheet? We never actually got an updated spreadsheet but We never actually got an updated spreadsheet, but it would be, oh, well, I paid for that, so you owe me this amount.

Oh, wow. How long did the relationship last? Yeah, it was interesting. Oh, like four years. Oh, God. And was there a spreadsheet the whole four years? Yeah, I think so. Oh, my God. It was probably not till after that I thought,

oh, that's probably a bit weird, actually. Yeah, it's a little bit weird. Yeah, it is weird. Wow. Yeah, but that's all right. I'm glad you're not with the spreadsheet anymore. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I hope your next partner's in debt up to their eyeballs with Afterpay.

I hope your next partner is so financially irresponsible that they'll never own anything of value. Yeah, but at least you won't have to pay half the dinner, you know? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. He doesn't keep track, so that's good. You'll have to lie to Baycourt when they knock on your door and ask for a discount.

I don't know who that person is. I've never seen him before. Gina, thanks. You call a couple of texts to finish up. My mate's ex was a spreadsheet. I broke up with her two weeks before she was entitled to any joint property because they'd been living together. And then presented her with a spreadsheet that he'd secretly been keeping and an invoice that included halving of everything over the last couple of years.

My wife and I have a spreadsheet. The catch is we both love a good spreadsheet. So if you can find a spreadsheeter, then, you know, best of luck to you. Have we found a new love language? Spreadsheeting. Yeah. Physical touch. Oh, my God new love language? Spreadsheetings. Physical touch, words of information. Breaking news.

Red banner. Spreadsheeters. The sixth love language. Kate Hawksby and Mike Hosking talk about their spreadsheet. Red banner it. I'm just checking on NZ Herald. They have not updated the banner, so obviously maybe we're having some communication issues there.

Well, we are in a forest. It might take a while to get through. Yeah, maybe they're just slightly delayed. My ex gave me the receipts for the condoms used over a six-month period and demanded half the cost after we broke up. What? No! If you were on any form of birth control,

I'd bill him for that too. Yeah. It's time for Fact of the Day, but this Fact of the Day, we're in the middle of a forest in a MacPack tent. We've given away our MacPack prize, our epic trip to Wanaka. The birds are going to be singing along with our Fact of the Day jingle. This MacPack tent keeping out the wind, I wonder how it's going to be acoustically. Should we try?

I think it's beautiful. I think it's beautiful. It's time for... Fact of the Day. Day. Day. Day. Day.

Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day.

Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day.

Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day.

Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Day. Today's Fact of the Day is about Indiana Jones. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- And they've de-aged him for flashbacks. For the first part of the movie. I thought for the whole film, I was like, recast.

Yeah, no, it's set in 1960s New York City. Dial of Doom, I think it's called. Yeah, okay. It's, yeah, Indiana Jones. Still fighting Nazis, they're still about. Okay, I wasn't into the Shia LaBeouf ones. Yeah. Yuck. I did see a headline saying,

where's Shia LaBeouf in the latest Indiana Jones? Because he played his son in that Crystal Skull one. Oh, right. Yeah, but apparently this is a fine return to form for Indiana Jones. But I didn't know this. I'm a big Indiana Jones fan. My daughter's kind of semi-named after Indiana Jones. Because did you know just days before shooting,

this isn't the fact of the day. I think this has been fact of the day before. Indiana Jones' name was Indiana Smith. Seriously? Yeah, and like days before they started shooting, they changed it. And movie executives were like, we need a name that's not so plain and, you know, dull.

Yeah, yeah, not so common. Not so common. So they went to Jones from Smith. Oh, that's right. We've got our own Jones. She's our Jones. Yeah. Yeah, so Indiana Jones was going to be Indiana Smith, and my daughter's name's Indiana Smith.

Right. I saw the trailer. The big ball's back. The big rock ball. You know that. Oh, sorry. What? I'm with you now.

Yeah. But he does have some big balls. I was like, I didn't know he was known for his balls. No, he's got huge balls. One ball. You know, the giant ball. Yes, the ball. The ball.

That chases after him. Of course. That looks like it's back. So. I'm excited. Oh, Carwin, your computer. Oh, Carwin, put your password in, please. I can tell you that today's fact of the day is, did you know Indiana Jones is based off Scrooge McDuck?

No, it's not. No lies. No lies. Look, here's an article all about how Indiana Jones is based off the adventures of a young Scrooge McDuck. You ever watch DuckTales? Yeah. Because life is like a hurricane here in Duckburg.

Yep. Race cars, lasers, airplanes. mcduck you ever watch duck tales yeah because life is like a hurricane here in duckburg yep race cars lasers airplanes he's the one that dives dives into the money yeah so he got his money through a series of absolutely crazy adventures he had when he was a young duck selling artifacts from cultures he probably shouldn't have been stealing he went into places he had no business being stole national treasures sold them to the highest bidder, and absolutely reaped the rewards off it. Right. Otherwise known as early 1900s archaeology. Yes.

Where they would sell them to museums and such. So, yeah, apparently, yeah, Scrooge McDuck went on all these adventures. And George Lucas and Steven Spielberg were such massive fans that when they were kind of like decided to do this adventure series, it was, um, it was Indiana Jones was kind of based off Scrooge McDuck. And you mentioned the big ball. Yeah. You know, in the original Indiana Jones trilogy when he's running from the big ball. Yeah.

That is lifted straight out of a Scrooge McDuck comic. Wow. Look at that. The big ball chasing him down the hill is, um, pulled straight from a Scrooge McDuck comic. And in the comic, remember the Beagle Boys? Yeah. They were the bad guys. Yes.

Didn't look a lot like a Beagle. No. But the Beagle Boys got crushed by the Big Rock. Wow. Interesting. Yeah. Scrooge got out of the way. Does Scrooge get royalties every time Indiana Jones plays?

I don't know. I think it was one of those ones where they've changed enough details about it, but later on they mentioned that they were influenced by it. Yeah, right. Or influenced by it. Yeah, and now Disney's got all of that anyway, so, you know, it's all money in the back pocket of old Uncle Walt. So today's fact of the day is Indiana Jones is based off Scrooge McDuck.

Fact of the day day day day day yeah ZM. Play ZM. Let's go to Nelly. Play ZM. Broadcasting today from a MacPak team. We've given it away. Our trip to Wanaka, thanks to MacPak. Our winners. We're at Live and Race.

Didn't know each other. We created... Radio's connecting people. Yeah. So yesterday we flew down... We are about human connection. We truly are. So we flew to Christchurch yesterday.

You know, the whole team. I drive because I'm terrified of flying. You drive from Auckland? Yeah. Right. You're born to one of those stupid moods. He's gone silly, eh? He's supping on his second long black of the morning.

Yep, yep, yep, yep. So we get to Christchurch yesterday and we get all of our luggage because we've got a lot of equipment to bring down and our bags. And I'm like, Yep, yep, yep, yep. So we get to Crosschurch yesterday, and we get all of our luggage, because we've got a lot of equipment to bring down, and our bags. And I'm like, oh, Jared, your bag's a bit wet. Yeah, it was pretty damp. And I thought your vape juice had come out.

Yeah, but it didn't stink of grapes. It didn't smell like bubble gum. It was just moist. Yeah, because you, actually, all three of you lads chose a sports bag. A duffel. A duffel, yeah. So no hard shell. I was hard shell. Yeah, you're a hard sheller with your overnight bag.

And so we get to crash it. And Jared's bag's a little bit damp, but it didn't feel too wet. No, like the clothes in it were damp, but not like soaked. Yeah. And you said, oh my God, ha ha, shame. I said, that's unfortunate, but you know, these things happen. Right. It was a different wording.

Get to the hotel. And my room wasn't ready, so I'm chucking my stuff in Hayley's. We're about to go to the gym and I'm grabbing... I mean, you can cover up your affair any way you like in my book. Well, we did say as we disappeared into the same hotel room, the rumors will be running. The rumors will start, yeah. And so I went to grab my gym gear because we were going for a quick workout because, you know,

summer's coming, games. And my bag is soaking. Every single thing in my bag is soaked to the bone. Like my socks, I squeezed out the socks and water dripped out. So then you made me

heat my room up to 28 degrees and put the fan on. And I'm putting my undies on, you know, that luggage rack, over the chairs, my T-shirt. Is that why you look like SpongeBob in that episode where he leaves the ocean? This morning you were just a dry husk of a woman. Oh my God, it was. I forgot about it. And so I'm like instantly full James Corden. I'm like, well, what's Air New Zealand done to my bag?

Heads will roll. Like it wasn't raining in Auckland. It wasn't raining in Christchurch. Did they put it in a puddle? You even made me sniff some of his clothes to say that's just water, isn't it? It's just water. It's just water. And then I'm just like at the gym and I'm like, how has this happened?

I'm in my wet gym T-shirt. I'm like, how has this happened? Like it wasn't raining in Auckland. It wasn't raining in Crush. Where's the water come from? Another passenger's bag. And then I'm like, Vaughn Alan Smith. What did I do?

Filled up his water wiper thing with a bottle of water and then put the half bottle back in the boot next to our bags, and it tipped all over our bags. No, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. It's the only theory. It's the only way.

No, no, no. You'll remember when I filled up the water squirter, the windscreen wiper squirter, I said, oh, perfect fit, as to mean the entire bottle fit in just as it got to the top. And you'll check, and I will show you, upon arrival back at work, I always leave that milk bottle beside my car park. It's not in the car. No, you chucked it in the back. It's empty.

Well, we will see when we get back to Auckland. He's retreating on the story already. He's retreating on the story. You wouldn't notice the wetness from the car to the airport check-in. Because we were hurrying to get into the car. I don't think I would have noticed the wetness. I blame, at the moment you're number one suspect. Followed by Air New Zealand.

Prove you wrong in episode two of this podcast. You know, it's never the person you first suspect in these podcast murder mysteries. Yeah, right, okay. Or these wetty mysteries. Or do you think a passenger had a water bottle or something and then it just leaked? It could, could have been. Who's checking in a bottled water?

You take that and you carry on. Because you might want to drink in flight. Yeah, who's putting a full water bottle in? It's absolute madness. It doesn't make sense. I think the only thing that makes sense is Vaughn Allen Smith. No, Vaughn Allen Smith is innocent. Well, we will be inspecting your boot when we land.

Please do. Inspecting your boot? And stay tuned for podcast two. Tomorrow, join us at... Should we have my apology this time tomorrow? Were you wishing me an apology for this wild accusation? Well, Jared's backing me up on this because we can't figure out how this has happened.

It's the only logical explanation. Right. How's the wet jeans this morning? Yeah, they're not comfy. I've got a really wet leg still. Play. ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. More financial pain on the way.

The Reserve Bank is rising. The short-cutting inflation has pushed the Reserve Bank. Cost of living. Cost of living crisis. And the recession is inevitable. The official Fletchbourne and Hayley Ice Cream Index. Well, it's our search to find the best ice creams, the tallest, the biggest scooped ice creams in the country.

Biggest bang for buck. And we put out the call yesterday on our socials with the West Coast. Now, we, of course, met the West Coast of the South Island, but other people jumped at the chance to tell us anywhere on the West Coast of this entire beautiful country of ours, and they're not wrong. They're not wrong. We're just generally West. Yeah, we're just generally West.

Yeah. So are we including North Island West as well? No. Because these are going to be covered in other areas. Right. So you're just doing West Coast, South Island. West Coast, South Island, but we have bookmarked some of these other places. Okay.

We'll return to them. Yeah, we'll return to them. How good's the West Coast? Such as, you know, West Coast, people from New Plymouth, quick to put their hands up. I know the dairy they're going to say, too. But we'll do a Taranaki. Is it Iona or Yona? Yeah, I think it's Iona.

They say Iona. Iona Dairy. Yeah. Iona Dairy. Yeah, I know. Congratulations. That's what they love. People go in, they're like, do you own the dairy?

Yeah, I own the dairy. Okay. Oh, gosh. Well, we can tell you, and some of these I've done some research on as well, the brick oven in Rye Valley on the West Coast. Okay. That pops up a few times, a few mentions for that as well. The Brick Oven in Rye Valley on the West Coast. Okay. That pops up a few times, a few mentions for that as well. Brick Oven?

Pardon me? The Brick Oven. The Brick Oven, yeah. Is it a shop or a dairy or a... It does takeaways, but also rips a pretty bloody good ice cream, apparently. Mac's Store and Takeaway, that's in Runanga on the West Coast. That looks... That's got real old school Kiwi.

Yeah, good. Small town takeaway vibes. That's what we like. That's what we like. Ikamatuwa store. Ikamatuwa store on the West Coast. Okay. It's on the map.

Now, I do have questions about this one. A couple of reports of Nananese in Reefton. Now, I've done a little bit of basic research. Nana Knees seems to be more famous for its pies and its big breakfasts. Oh, my goodness. Oh, Nana. Yeah, but I'm not sure. This is in Reefton.

I can't find any photos of their ice creams online. Well, yeah, but people are saying that they're good. Yeah, people are saying so. Multiple messages. Yeah, a couple of people there. The Paro store on the South Island West Coast. Charlotte says it can't be beaten for a big ice cream. Oh, yeah.

Sweet Alice's in Hokitika. Okay. Sweet Alice's. I've not done any research on there, but that is a name I was just going to take for gospel because so many people have messaged in about it. Have messaged in about Sweet Alice's and Hokitika. I'm just going to, on the spot now, do a bit of a quick Google.

You're doing a dad one-finger type there. Yeah, well, I'm holding the microphone up there. Oh. Okay, that's fudge. You're fletched, aren't you? Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah. He's a fudge boy. But yes, I can see here there's an ice cream selection.

Oh, look, there's the fudge I was telling you about. Yum. Yeah, that's good. Can I also, I've just popped on Nanani's Rifton Facebook page, the pies. Good boys. Big, flaky, good-looking pies. It's not the pie index. We'll do that later.

Well, that could be a good winter one, actually, the pie index. But I did want to say that if you've lost your sunglasses, I think there's a pair of sunglasses that Nanani's lost and found. Yeah, there is. They're quite nice. The West Coast Dairy gets a few shout-outs. Nods Dairy and Hokitika as well.

Lots of reports. The thing about the West Coast is geographically it covers a lot of kilometres. And they're not afraid of a big ice cream, are they, by the sounds of it? I'm definitely not afraid of a big ice cream. And even if it's, of it? Definitely not afraid of a big ice cream. And even if it's, you know, in winter she can get pretty cold. Yeah. Still ice cream season.

Doesn't matter, yeah. So we'll add all those to our ice cream index after a little bit more consultation and research on all of these suggestions. And yeah, that's the West Coast. It's going to be a big map, isn't it? Who's doing all this? Because I don't know how. We've just been talking. We're just talking about it. I'm just going to palm it off.

Palm it off to the graphics department. Okay, good. Offer some feedback. It's just hard this time of year because you say things and everyone just wants to go on holiday, don't they? You're just assuming someone's taking notes. So I'm assuming someone will make this map. Someone is saying Brick Oven and Rye Valley

shouldn't be included in the West Coast. Someone's got a little bit carried away. Someone said that should have been in your Blenheim-Nelson area. Yeah, because it is. It's just out of Nelson. Top of the South. Top of the South. Top of the South. Okay, well, it's revoked.

That's revoked from this specific. Until we do our Nelson Top of the South. Now, also, getting some text messages in on it. Yeah. The Fantail Cafe in Haas did the best ice cream on the West Coast. Oh, I love Haas. Yes. Okay.

It's the two A's for me. Yeah, same. Haas. Why are there two A's? I love it. It's a brave person. Because I'm with a double A-er. Aaron. Yeah, same. Yeah. Why are there two A's? I love it. It's a brave person. Because I'm with a double A-er. Aaron.

Aaron, yeah. You don't need it. You could just go A-R-O-N and it still would say Aaron. Yeah. But you chuck a double A in, it's a different energy. Yeah, but then it would be hast, wouldn't it? Hast. It's a hast pass.

Yeah. Do a little bit of hast. Hast pass. Hast pass. Yeah. And also someone said the Mac store that you mentioned in Runanga is also known as the Bottom Shop. And shout out to Gary and Robin who run the place. Shout out to Gary, shout out to Robin.

Do they have a lotto kiosk? They've probably got a lotto kiosk. I would imagine so. Yeah, good stuff. Yeah, I'd imagine so. And I reckon maybe like 15 years ago someone won two mil. And you know, they've got a sign saying it. Yeah, a very faded sign in the window.

First division winner sold here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beautiful. Oh, another one in the bag It's a Versace bag as well If you enjoyed that give us a rating

and a review and be sure to tell your mates You don't sound sincere there boy I'm just reading what's written here ZM's Fletch, Vaughan

and Hayley