ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Podcast - 8th February 2022

Episode Date: February 7, 2022

Top 6: Bike Lane   Marching  Silly Little Poll!  Yummy Yummy!  Winter Olympic Update!  Hayleys Nutrition  Vaughans Virtual Farming  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Hello, welcome to the Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley podcast. Thanks to McCafe, try their refreshing McCafe iced coffee. It's available now at Macca's. Producer Jared and the Middy, the relationship that we've all been part of since day one. Yeah, so born in lockdown. Yeah, absolute milestone at the weekend.

I'm pretty sure I know what the milestone is, but I am going to bring in producer Jared at this stage. Oh. Good morning. Why can't I hear him? ZM Control Program. Oh, you were probably just talking on air. I don't know why that happens sometimes.

I'm in the record function. Is this place going to be an ad or a song? No, no, yeah. So it's, yeah, you were just talking during Carly to Normani love lies, producer Jared. That's all right. Again, that's this desk is a bit fucked up. That love lies, is it in like love lies here or love lies?

Love will lead you astray. Love will lie to you. I've never actually. Or a little lie being told in love. Never looked at the lyrics. So many possible outcomes there. It's cryptic. It's not like Lado's song, Big Dick Energy.

That's very, very. That uncensored is quite a ride. Uncensored version is so good. It's a great song. We should never slip. Producer Jared, what is this milestone? Well, the media and I. We can't hear him again. We can't hear him. We could hear a slip. Producer Jared, what is this milestone? Well, the Middie and I have taken... We can't hear him again.

We can't hear him. We could hear him before. What about now? Yay! That was your fault. That was my fault. I tried to fix your problem. We're in good hands at this show.

So the Middie and I have recently taken to camping, and over the weekend we spent a lovely weekend in Hahe. Oh, Hahe, beautiful. Took a lovely stroll over to Cathedral Cove, had a beautiful swim, and during the 40-ish minute walk back... You proposed. No, no.

Okay. Something I've been waiting to happen. Yeah. The middy let out a little toot. Yes! Oh, I'm so proud of her. How many months has it taken for her to fart in front of you? A year and a bit.

No. Is she going to be mortified that you're talking about this? Potentially. Nah, she'll be all right. We all fart. Well, it's on the podcast. Was it an accidental squeak?

Yeah, she let out a little toot and then I turned and was like, that can't have been a fart. And then she looked at me like, oh my God, I can't believe she farted. I would have blamed the sandal or the shoe. Yeah, always a shoe. I think because it was quite tumultuous waves.

So I think that shook her up, and then like a Sprite bottle opening, it's a little... You're comparing a fart to the opening of a cup. It's a bit fizzier. You don't want that. No, you don't want bubbles. She's got too much fermentation in the gut.

You don't want bubbles. Yeah, that's too much kombucha. That is a huge milestone. Was she embarrassed, or was it like, thank God we've gone past this She was embarrassed at first And then I think the relief Both from the fart and the moving on I thought you were going to be telling us

They packed down a tent in rain And didn't argue No, he wouldn't be here He wouldn't have survived No, but they did They did Because he sent us a photo of them packing down their tent while it was pissing down with rain.

And I was like, ooh, you'll be having a big rock up on the way home. It'll be a quiet drive home. He's like, no, we did it in unison. We did it in peace. And we drove home very happy. I was just like, what the fuck? That doesn't happen. What the fuck?

Shada and I wheeled out this. We bought one of those pop-up gazebo things where you just like walk it out on the different diagonals and it pretty much erects itself. Jesus Christ. You would have thought we were negotiating to get somebody back from ISIS. The tensions were very, very high.

And I said, because I said once, oh, so you lift this part and push that part down and that's the easiest way to do it. And she didn't do it, so I repeated myself slightly louder and she said, stop screaming at me. Yes, and then off we go. And then here we go.

Here we go for a week. Let's go. Warm up the couch. Jarrod, did you let out an empathetic toot in response? I'd let out a few silent ones in the lead up to her toot. It can't be silent. But violent? Oh, violent, yeah. But I've been farting for

almost a year now, you know. Congrats. What a huge milestone. We all remember it. Thanks guys. On this fart-aversary. Thanks Rachel. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. I don't know if the long

weekend did me any good. Why? It's totally thrown me off my schedule. Right. I slept all of Sunday and then I couldn't sleep last night. It's not good. I should have come in. Yeah. I had too much rest.

You had too much. I had too much rest. Don't talk like that. It's silly talk. I know. I'm so fresh. I've had too much time to myself. I have zero children.

I've had time away from work and I didn't like it. And you know what? I don't pay enough rent either. Me neither. My mortgage is too low. Yep. No. God, it could have been three times as long for me.

Could have been a nine-day weekend. Yeah, you had a birthday party at the weekend. Yep. You've got a 10-year-old. I do. I've got a 10-year-old. How crazy is that? Does that make you feel really old?

Yep. That and my still sore back. Oh, yeah. Sure has aged me 15 years over the weekend. Do you know what I got for my 10th birthday? The Michael Jackson history album. Wow. Yeah.

I got a pair of, and I don't know why I can't remember my 10th birthday party specifically. I can't remember mine. I got, both of my big gifts were from the pharmacy. Round John Lennon sunglasses and a chain. I wanted a silver chain. Oh no. From the pharmacy. I don't think it was silver, babe.

Oh no, totally wasn't. Totally wasn't. If I had any sort of allergies, they would have flared horrendously. But yeah, I got a silver chain. All right. Coming up on the show. Pretty cool. Look pretty cool at the Kewa Tee School picnic.

Your chance to win. We've got iSpine back, all thanks to OPSM. So cash, $250 cash and a $200 OPSM voucher. We'll do that at 7.30. Add to cart returns at 8 o'clock. A whole lot of different items again in the cart across the day. You've just got to name them all with Brian Clint this afternoon to win them all. We'll give you the first item at 8 o'clock.

The top six is on the way. Yeah, the $19 million Christchurch Cycleway. They put it out there for public submission. Yeah. 69 design changes proposed by people who weren't happy with any aspect of the bike. Right. So they didn't just sort of not like it. They made their own

suggestions on how it could be better. Like just cross the road and avoid my house kind of stuff. Pretty much. Lots of that. Put it on the other side of the road for my business because I quite like how people can park. But I've got the top six design changes that should be in there. Alright, next on the show.

Yeah, a big announcement from Cadbury. Are they making the blocks smaller again? Remember when they did that? And they're like, you don't need so much fatty. You think we're not

going to notice? Well, they are doing something to help people like myself that don't know when to stop. Svorn, you were just having a good bloody go at that rap just then. You nearly had it.

You've got it word for word, honestly. So brilliant. Really good. You've got a career in that, I reckon. Here's something exciting. I needed this on the weekend because I had a whole block. More on that later. But Cadbury have launched a resealable packet on their individual chocolates.

So not on the block, which is obviously made for sharing. Yep. But on their more snack size. Well no, but those are all in one go. No, no, no. What fool. No, no, no, no, no. They are trying to push chocolate lovers into mindful snacking. Those are some buzzwords right now,

aren't they? Mindful snacking, but only eating half a bar at the time. No, not possible. You're supposed to eat half a bar and then it uses a memory technology where you can twist the end. So it's not like a little

pull and tape or like a sticky situation. So they've made it more like a tin foil. Like a twisty. Yeah. Memory technology. It's using memory technology. So you're using a slightly... It locks the wrapper in place. Yeah, okay, you're using a wire.

It's called memory technology. That's not. That's what they're doing. Stop trying to bougie up your wire wrap. It is going to lock in flavour, texture and shape. And they've guaranteed that the new memory technology will not affect the size or the

cost of the chocolate. I don't think I've either purchased a snack sized chocolate bar and saved any of it. Well this is what this is supposed to help you do. Will it be on their flakes? No, no, not possible. Once it's open, it's got to go in.

Yeah. Or on top of a pav. Yeah. You've got to eat it while it's still in the wrapper. You've got to open one end of it and like bite, break it while it's in the wrapper and then suck that bit out. Well, no, I always tip the flake dust in my mouth. Oh, yeah, that's when you get to the end.

But I'm talking about before you get to the end. There's a whole artistry to eating a flake. Oh, yeah, that's when you get to the end. But I'm talking about before you get to the end. There's a whole artistry to eating a flake. Oh, yeah, definitely. And you know, like, chocolate is the worst thing to get on fabric. And flake is the pits. Yeah, blood. Blood's up there. Blood.

The foundation. Have you ever sat on a Malteser on the couch? I've sat on chocolate before. And everyone's like, no, you've pooped yourself. You did a poopies. You pooped your pants. You did a poopies. It's cool the way they were your pants.

Anyway, I don't think I'm going to need this memory technology to save half my chocolate. It's wasted on you. It is. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, Hollywood movies would have you believe that what women say I love you first. Absolutely. And they're the most romantic and

the gentler of spirit. Well, a study's been done over six countries asking thousands of men and women, who said I love you first in your relationship? And it turns out that it's men that say it. On average, after 108 days, compared to women, 123 days. 123. How long is that?

Four months. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Aaron said it first in our relationship. So that works. France was the only country out of all the countries they looked at where they said it about the same time. Oh, really?

In the middle of a menage a trois probably probably i love you all around all of you i love you i love you i love you francois i love you it's such a funny francine i love you whoever you are i love what you're doing and i love you what if it such a funny thing, the I love you moment. I was in the car, Aaron and I. We're in the car driving to get some fish and chips, I believe. And I think he just said it as a throwaway. Oh yeah.

Like I did something cute and charming as I'm known to do. You know, bloody charm. I tell you what, funny probably. Funny and charming. He wiped away the tears. Oh, he just sort of threw itmer. Funny and charming. I'd say so, yeah. He wiped away the tears? Oh, he just sort of threw it away. Hilarity. Yeah.

How many days? And he said, well, I love you. How many days was it, though? Was it 108? Close. I reckon like about the three-month mark. Okay. Anything earlier than that, I'm like alarm bells.

You know when you're like, oh, we said I love you on the second date, but by date number three we were organising our wedding, I'm like, oh no. Oh, you're both crazy. This flame's gonna burn hot, and it's gonna, like a supernova, it's gonna go in. You gotta move in together first. You gotta get the farts.

You gotta get the farts. I think maybe I said I love you before I farted, though. Oh, you've gotta be spooning and rip out a snacky fart on someone before you say you love them. Yeah, you need to be like. There's a few bosses. So they feel the vibrations. Yeah. I'm too tight.

They're like, what was that? And you're like, what? And then say it then maybe even. Yeah. What was that? I love you. I love you. Isn't it terrible when you first start dating?

So I remember I used to like stay a couple of nights at Aaron's house and then I'd get back into my car like, oh, my guts. Because you're holding on to the fart. Because you didn't want to fart in front of him. Holding on to farts for days and you'd just be driving back to my flat. Why don't you just go for a little walk? Go to the toilet and do it in the toilet. We started dating in the winter, so I was always inside.

Oh, okay. Go and do it in the toilet. No, there would be so much louder. Why not go out to your car to do farts? In a tiled room. Just say, I've left something in my car. Yeah, right. Don't do it in the toilet. No, there would be so much louder. Why not go out to your car to do that? In a tiled room. Yeah, just say I've left something in my car. Yeah, I should have. And he looks out the window and he just says, Oh! He's like, is she hotboxing that car?

Sort of. Sort of. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the Top 6. Guten Morgen. Today's Top 6. Very German. Guten Morgen. Today's top six. Very German. Guten Morgen.

Top six changes to the $17 million cycleway in Christchurch. This is apparently only one four and a half kilometre stretch of what will be a 13 cycleway crisscross adventure. I mean, if there's any city in the country that is great for cycling, it's so flat. It's flat old Christchurch. So this is the

four and a half kilometre wheels to wing cycleway on Harwood Road. And $19 million at this stage, but overall, the whole cycleway is going to be like $300 million. They put it out there for public, you know, submission. And people have come out saying these are the changes.

69 changes. That's nice. Have it pass off around the other side of the block so people can still come to my business. I don't want people cycling past my house. God, have you ever seen a cyclist? They all, like, ride and they talk very loudly. Oh, I do. It's really weird.

It's always chit-chatting. Yeah, when I'm, like, tinkering in the paddocks at our place and you can just hear this. And it's always like, the hell is that noise? And it gets closer. It's like, I told her and I said I've got to go. The boy's going to go for a cycle. Well, that's fair enough.

You've got to look out here. The hell is that? And then you'd see them coming up the hill. They're talking so loudly. Having a good old gas. They're really yelling over the sounds of the spokes and the chains. Get them routed away. Muzzled.

Get us off, yeah. They can use it, but you have to be muzzled. That could be one of the suggestions. As a cyclist, I do love a cycleway. Oh, my gosh. Oh, how good are cycleways? Cycleways are great. Wonderful.

But not a clip-cloppity cyclist. No, but to be fair, a couple of weeks ago, you did say that you were going to get some clip-cloppity shoes. Only for the cycle class. Well, that's even worse. That's even way worse. Is it? How's that worse?

You're getting cycle shoes that not even go about side. No, but that's wearing cycle shoes in the dark at the cycle class. No, you've got to walk through the whole gym. No, you don't. I'll just get changed in the darkness. Oh, my God. I'm not sitting next to you. As someone that hoped the darkness was going to hide my shame,

I can tell you it's still that hoped the darkness was going to hide my shame, I can tell you it's still small with the lights off. Okay. The top six changes I would make to the $17 million of the Cycleway

and Crush It. Number six, put some jumps in it. I don't think Cycleways have enough optional jumps. No, you're right. Like a well-labeled, if you want to do a jump,

stick to the left because there's going to be a jump and then you can do a jump. And before you know it, you've veered into crank works and rota rua. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then you're just doing it. Breaking your neck.

You're just getting a couple of craft beers at the bloody Hellertown after a big ride in the bloody Redwoods out west. Not Redwoods. What's it called out there? The Redwoods is the rota rua. Anyway, you're drinking craft beer somewhere. Good on you. Number five on the list of the top six changes to the $17 million

at Osaka Way on Christchurch I would make would be stations where you can stop and they've got containers with cut-up ice cream lids and some masking tape so you can put it in the back spokes so when you drive, your pushbike sounds like a motorbike. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Push bike sounds like a motorbike. Oh, yeah, yeah. There was a real knack to making it sound like you were changing gears on a BMX with the ice cream lids in the spokes. Number four on the list.

You could have used playing cards, but they went to crap too quick. An ice cream lid lasted. Yeah. It had a good bit of thickness to it. Number four on the list of the top six changes to the cycleway in Christchurch. The odd conveyor belt just in case you get tired. Oh yeah.

Like at the airport. Yeah. I'd be on board with that. You can just cycle onto it and like pop the stand out, stand there. Or maybe it's like in a mall, you know how a shopping trolley

gets locked. Oh yeah. So you just get locked and you just have to take a break. Yeah, yeah. And then you can stay on the bike if you want. Yeah. Our number three on the list of the top six changes

to the $17 million cycleway in Christchurch. Tunnels. Who doesn't love driving through it, like riding through a tunnel? Yeah. Line it up, get a bit excited. Seems expensive. Shouldn't hold your breath either, I reckon,

if you're in control of the bike. Get some glowworms in there. Give it sort of a natural look. Some kiwis. No one would ever see them though. It'd be very, very dark. You need to flick on your little blinker that lets people know that you're on your bike.

Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six changes to the $17 million cycleway on Christchurch I would make turbo stations. Oh yeah. So like you're driving again, light the jump, it's those stick left if you want a turbo and you hit it

and it just shoots you. It gives you a bit of extra pep. How does it do that? I don't know. How does it work in Mario Kart? It just works. You just drive through it. Yeah.

And it just shoots you through. Like a matchbox car, those little turbo stations. And number one on the list of the top six changes to the Cycleway and Christchurch, I'd make more cafes for the clip-clop crowd to stop in for a cappuccino and a big, huge muffin. Yeah. You need the energy. The bigger the muffin, eh?

The bigger the muffin, the better. We've got a lot of cows on those bikes. Oh, so many cows burnt. You need to get a cappuccino with two to three sugars in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because again, you've got to keep that calorie intake up. The world's hugest muffin and have your genitals right

at the height of the person sitting at a table in the cafe. It's absolute cycling 101 and that's today's top six. Yesterday, being the long weekend, we all had Monday off and so my marching team, despite the fact that Marching Nationals has been cancelled, thank you COVID,

we're going to continue the season and just keep training. So we were training yesterday and I sent you guys a picture of me in my tights and boots. So I'm off to training. And I was like, on a public holiday, I was like, this is dedication. Marching never stops. The marching never stops. And then Vaughan, you insulted me. I won't even read what you said about my sport. The boots looked very...

Yes. They are a custom-made sports footwear. Yeah. You measure the whole foot, and they get custom-made just for your foot. Only the best for big Tony's ladies. We've got to keep our ladies comfortable out there on the street. It's not about comfort.

It's about sport. Right. Anyway, so you ripped apart my sport, and I just went to marching thinking, they just have no idea the difficulty of this sport of marching. And marching goes always fighting to convince people that marching is a sport. Because you at this stage, would you call it a hobby, Vaughan?

No, I'm my nan. She is big on the marching. She was a marcher. Right. I bet she had calves of steel. Yeah, she did. Didn't pass them down to me. Oh, yeah.

Unfortunately, no calves to speak of. They skipped you, didn't they? We're known to split a skinny jean, I tell you what, with these calves. Anyway, I got to marching and we were like we're gonna work on this and i was and i was sweating i was like dripping with sweat at this sport this difficult sport and then my apple watch was like on my wrist and i looked at it it was like time to stand and it had not only had it not registered any active minutes or any form of exercise, apparently marching doesn't even account for standing. But surely if you were doing things, your heart rate must have been up.

I was. Honestly, my rings yesterday, it was the most insulting thing. It was more insulting than what you said about my marching boots in the morning. Yesterday, my ring, absolutely nothing. I marched for four hours yesterday. For those that don't know with the Apple Watch, my marching boots in the morning. Yesterday, my ring, absolutely nothing. I got out. I marched for four hours yesterday. For those that don't know with the Apple Watch, if you're doing any kind of, say you were going for a walk or a run,

you'd be like activity and you'd be like start walk, start run. Yes, but if you forget to do it, often the watch can just know by your elevated heart rate and by the action you're doing that you are exercising. Yeah. Not marching apparently. But when, because you can go in the activities and there's all, and by the action you're doing that you are exercising. Yeah. Not marching, apparently. Because you can go in the activities and there's all,

like I've got swimming there. There's all kinds of activities. Is marching one of them? Marching is not an Apple sport option. Other. But this is my new campaign. I'm going to be, even though it is a New Zealand specific sport. I was going to say, would you be happy to be lumped in with

like overseas marching? Is cheerleading in there? Is that an option? No, it's not cheerleading. Rower, stepper, hiking, yoga? No. Functional strength training? Could you do that? Could you say it's that? You could do. I need to start, I need an option to log in. Or dance.

I always just go other. There's a dance option. Dance, not darts. I didn't You could do. I need an option to log in. Or dance. I always just go other. Dance. There's a dance option. Dance, not darts. I didn't say darts. I was like, why am I moving so much? Even Thai cheese. Even Thai cheese in there.

Yeah, I know. And if you're doing darts, it can also tell the difference between throwing the dart and picking a beer up off the table and drinking it. And it's like, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. You're past your darts optimal. Oh, that's embarrassing. Even surfing and table tennis and social dance is in there. God's sake.

Honestly, it was one thing to be constantly insulted by people that my sport is not a sport. It is a sport. But for technology itself to not even register the fact that I'm moving, it's deeply insulting. Right. Yeah. My Apple Watch said to me this morning,

because yesterday I just, because of my sore back, I decided not to do anything. Yeah. Vaughn, your move ring was off track yesterday. Get active today. Close it out and remember to wear your watch. And thought I wasn't even... And assumed I was either dead or not wearing it. Black foreign hailey, silly little pole, silly little pole.

It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole is one very dear to my heart, one I'm very passionate about in fact Toilet paper hanging over or under?

You know what I mean? Always over Always over Vaughan? Don't be a monster Over Over Is that over?

Where it comes down the front Where it's facing like a fringe not a mullet A fringe not a mullet indeed Well 93% of people agree Yeah in the front where it's facing like a fringe, not a mullet. A fringe, not a mullet, indeed. Well, 93% of people agree.

Yeah. 7% of people, including my fiance, say under. So he will purposely put it under. I don't think he purposely does anything, to be honest. I think he just carelessly shoves it on. I'm lucky if he replaces it. So to be fair, if it's under, whatever. He'll leave an empty roll on.

He is a grown 40-year-old man. Yeah. And he will absolutely leave an empty toilet roll on the holder or off the holder and just like on the basin. But not put a new one on. Like a student, Aaron.

Yeah. They should make them flushable. The toilet roll itself should be flushable. That should make them flushable. The toilet roll itself should be flushable. That's not a bad idea. I don't know how, because you need it also to be stiff to hold its shape. Yeah.

I find when you go over, it's a smoother you know, you get a smoother sort of pull. When it's under, it goes like bounce, bounce, bounce. And it drives me nuts. Because we don't have the fanciest toilet roll holder it's a little silver metal thing oh is it the classic?

we renovate, we get to renovate does it go, when it's got no toilet roll on does it go ding ding ding against the wall yeah yeah good stuff good stuff listening to friends parents debate this once? Yeah.

And there was like all these adults. We would have been like, I was going to say high-end teenagers, not like high-end, like expensive, but like not 12. We would have been like 19. Yeah. And at somebody's parents' house and they were all discussing it and this dad said something and it stopped everybody. And I think anybody that was going against the wall and rolling down the

back immediately stopped. He's like, I remember when I just decided it was always going to be front. Had a little bit of poos on my hand. And wiped it on the wall. And it got on the wall. And that's exactly the reaction every single person had. We were just like, what did you just say? Yeah, no, I used to keep it down the back there.

I thought it looked tidier. And then I had a bit of shit on my hand. And when I went to grab it, I just smeared shit on the wall. And everyone was like, how did you get shit on your hand? He's like, well, I had a wipe and went round. And then when I went to grab some more, I just smeared shit on the wall. We were just like, ah. Yeah, that's something the 9% should consider.

Yeah. The 7%. Oh, the 7%, sorry. It was even more one-wayed. Diane messaged in saying, I literally used to work for a toilet paper company. The role goes over because of the embossing pattern on the sheets. You need to look at the design. Because you need to look at the part that's been pushed out, not the reverse.

Exactly. Otherwise, the seashells and the dolphins's been pushed out, not the reverse. Exactly. Otherwise the seashells and the dolphins will be back to front. Reverse. Yeah. Why is this even a question, says Aaron. Not my Aaron, by the way. This is not my Aaron. Why is this even a question?

The only circumstance where under is okay is if you have a child or pet that sits there rolling the roll and wasting it all. How about those flatmates that don't even care what way they put it on, though? Monsters. Fomit emoji. Somebody said you use less toilet paper. They did a scientific test at their own house. When it's against the wall, you use less

because it's a little bit more drag. More drag? A bit more drag. Oh, okay. You use less at the back. Yeah, when it goes down against the wall. That makes sense. That's a good...

Kimberly here's got a bone to pick with her workmate. Always over. And if the lady at my work is listening, if the lady at my work is listening, it always goes over. You will not win this battle. Oh, so she's changing it. Yeah, I'll change it as well.

I change it. If somebody puts one on wrong. Same. You've got to. And it's like the message isn't getting received. I was putting on a new roll the other day, and have you ever got into that weird layer between the layers? Yes.

And then you keep pulling and you're like. No, it's when you've got like two or three ply and one ply comes and the other plies don't catch up until the next round. So you've got one really thin thing and then a thinner than usual. Oh, it's horrible. Are you a long roll? Yeah, I'm a long roller. Are you a long roller?

Just whatever. Whatever's on special. Oh, Siri. Siri's chiming in. Is she a long roll? Yeah, a huge round of the long roll, Siri. Yeah, Hannah messaging, if I'm ever at a friend's or family's house and they have it wrong,

I'll just fix it. I do the same. I'm like, that is wrong and you need to know. Like a waterfall, not a snail crawling down the wall. Yes. Thank you, Amanda. That's one way to remember it.

Yeah. And as your friend's dad once said, you could get shit on the wall. You don't want to get a bit of poo on the wall? And then you're going to clean shit off the wall. Yeah.

So I think that's a great lesson for all of us. I actually am just like taking myself back there in that circle. His wife was just like, stop talking. Like, I'm for all of us. I actually am just like taking myself back there in that circle. His wife was just like, stop talking. Like,

I'm so embarrassed. I mean, shut your mouth. A kick under the table. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Down under

on ZM, Fletch Vaughn and Hayley, the most streamed song in the country. Number one. It's wild. The whole story behind this song is wild. The original.

What's the story behind it? Well, he had a massive lawsuit because of Kookaburra Sits on the Old Gum Tree. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, right. And then he delved into the world of heroin to numb the pain of the ongoing legal battles and then died in 2012

of a suspected overdose led to heart attack. Sorry to break it. It was a great thing. It really brought the mood down, haven't you? Such an upbeat techno song. It really brought it down to earth. Yeah, yeah.

Another episode of Yummy Yummy. We take a look at new food items, new food trends. It is the return of a classic. I'm told it's a classic. I've never had this before. Did you have this first time around? Yeah, of course I did. Did you?

I was a fat kid. Were you a fat egg? I hoovered this up. My parents would not have purchased this. I probably purchased it on my own accord. You probably did because you would have been- Saved up your allowance. Yeah.

You got your student course related costs. No, I had my paper run and junk mail circulars. I had a paper run, yeah. Yep. Did you just throw yours down the drain as well? A lot of them? No, no, no, no. We did...

I did the evening post. Oh, you can't throw those down. You can't throw those. They were, you know... R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I.P. the evening post. Go on.

Well, it's making a return from the 1990s. It's Tip Top's Dessertalicious. You've absolutely nailed that one. Dessertalicious. Dessertalicious. Rich mousse, creamy ice cream, and a soft sponge. Yeah, the mousse and the sponge is where it's at. The mousse and the sponge.

How did they keep the mousse? Explain to me how it was stacked back in the day. What was on the bottom? I can't remember. It's like that. So there's the vintage. Oh, this microphone keeps shocking me. There's the original.

Yeah, so what's on the bottom? Chocolate honeycomb. So bottom is sponge. From memory, bottom is sponge. How does the sponge hold up? The weight of the ice cream is surely the girthiest girl. No, it just does. A sponge is a structural being.

A sponge is a structural being? A sponge is a structural being? A biscuity base is a structural being. But it can't be biscuity because it's too moist in there. And then you've got the honeycomb ice cream. Yeah, and then mousse on top. So the ice cream was honeycomb. Yeah. Semi-hokey pokey flavoured, right?

Yeah. And it was, I remember this being amazing. It's so good. It's pudding. It's a whole pudding. The only time I ever got mousse and even still to this day is when you go to like a buffet. Pizza Hut.

Mousse, jelly. You just never got mousse and then you got mousse and ice cream and chocolatey sponge. This was heaven. And it's back. I am so excited about this. Same. It's not layered like the original. I beg your pardon? It's all mixed through. Off seat, I'm out, it's not layered like the original. I beg your pardon? It's all mixed through.

Oh, see, I'm out. It's not layered like the original. It's somebody said. It's got clumps of it or something. Yeah, it's more of a clumpy mixed through situation. How do you have the mousse separated? I want my mousse to be my mousse. It's coming in one of those posh tubs as well,

not your two-litre ice cream container where you could just dig straight down with a spoon and excavate a whole corner and then work your way around getting the ice cream, the moose and the sponge. Oh, I see. Chocolate sponge pieces now.

And then what gooey bits of moose running through the honeycomb ice cream? I don't know. Have they thought this through? I don't know. I don't think they have thought this through. They're too in-studio devotees. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'll probably love it and eat it.

I was on and now I'm a little bit off, but I will partake in a tub. It's probably saving a lot of time too, because I imagine layering with three different things in an ice cream factory takes a lot of time too because I imagine layering with three different things in an ice cream factory is yeah because it takes a lot of time and there's no way you could layer them in one of those little tubs no the bottom would be too thin too small it's thinner and it'd need to be thicker to make it up it'd be a nightmare unless it gets back into the two litre situation then it would be completely yeah layerable if we're um making calls for things come back, do you know what popped into my head the other day and I couldn't get it out of my head until I Googled and Googled and found the name?

Paradiso. Remember the Paradiso? The passion fruit mango outside with the creamy vanilla ice cream in the middle? There's a reason that went away. No one's eating that. Oh yeah. Paradiso. Yeah, they were yum.

Were they? Yeah, they were yum. They were yum as. What are those ones? Tropical snows that are like the three... Every summer they come back. Did they come back this summer? Yeah, they were yum. Were they? Yeah, they were yum. They were yum-ass. What are those ones, tropical snows that are like the three? Every summer they come back. Did they come back this summer? Yeah, they did because my kids had one for the first time.

They were like, these are amazing. I was like, yeah. You need to get your kids Bumbaloe Bills. That's where it's at. Oh, yeah. No, we got a message on the nose. We got a Bumbaloe Bill and it freaked them out because when they were younger, you took it out and he's all like, I'm he's all like He looks like he's been living next to

a chemical plant My nose is falling off Well the Winter Olympics are on at the moment and you may remember when we had the Summer Olympics we did an Olympic update. Yeah. And we had a big intro, didn't we?

Yeah. So we thought we'd reuse that same musical instrumental opening for the Winter Olympics. Well, it was very Olympiad. And you managed to find this piece of music. Jared, Producer Jared? Yep. I found the old Olympic version. Okay, have you made

it wintry? I think I've made it a bit winty. Wintry. It's got a real winty vibe. Okay, well, it's time now for our Winter Olympic update. Hang on. I mean, very. It was very Christmassy.

It did. Very wintry. I mean, it's quite far away from Christmas. Yeah. But it brought about images of snow and wind and jolly sleigh bells. It did. And we did well over the weekend, didn't we? Hey, do you guys remember 2001, the year 2001?

I do. Remember it? I was 11. 11? I was in my second year of uni. Yeah. Well, on the 6th of March, 2001, Zoe Sadowski-Sinnett was born. And at the weekend, she's gone.

She won a gold medal, goddammit. Wow. New Zealand's first gold medal at the Winter Olympics. Now, have we won any? I remember, who's the skier? Annalise Coburger. It's goddammit. Wow. New Zealand's first gold medal at the Winter Olympics. Now, have we won any? I remember, who's the skier? Annalise Coburger. It's a Coburger. Yes.

We're so wintry, though. We love a bit of Queenstown. Yeah, but... Surprising. Yeah, I think it's... Yeah, but we don't live in it all the time. No, no. You know, like, we're not...

Especially not nowadays. Yeah. It's very swampy here. Very swampy at present. We'll be great at the Swamp Olympics. Oh my god. When global warming hits, we're there.

We will win a gold medal in hair straightening despite the humidity. Well, so she's 20 years old. Just shy of her 21st birthday, she won a gold medal in the woman's slope style. And it was a hell of a run. And I must say, even though

the gold medal was fantastic, it was probably her dad's interview on live television. Live television that took the cake. Sean, how proud are you right now? Your daughter's just become the first Kiwi to win a winter gold ever.

I'm pretty excited, to be honest. And I'm really happy to see that all the investment from all of these people has turned out. How hard has she worked, though? You've seen her. You've seen what she's sacrificed, you know, these last four years to get here. Well, the toilet blocked up this morning. Or yesterday morning. And you reckon that was good.

I'm not going to tell you about that. Oh, my God. Dad, Dad, Dad. So he swore a lot. That was just one small part of it. And then said basically he took a dump so he could block the toilet. Dad. I would be sad.

Could you imagine what if they crossed to your dad after you'd won a snowboarding gold medal? I'd probably tell some long-winded story about something. I don't think he'd talk about taking a dump. No, I don't think my dad would. Not really in my dad's repertoire. Well, gold medal aside, we do have some medal possibilities today. Okay.

At 9.30 tonight, so that's late, at the National Biathlon Centre, the 20-kilometre individual male biathlon is happening. That's where you go cross-country skiing and then whip out your rifle and have to shoot some targets. That's a weird sport, eh? Almost weirder than marching. How dare you?

It's very Nordic. It's like a Nordic survival. Well, Norway took out the medal table last Olympics. They do always do well at the Olympics. Yeah, but they are winter. I know, yeah. Sweden. You think of Norway, you think of winter.

Do we have any skin in the game when it comes to the figure skating? That's where my interest lies. No, we've got a speed skater. Yep, 1500 men's final today. Peter Michael. Campbell Wright, by the way, is the New Zealand competitor in the biathlon. And Peter Michael is the skater in the 1500 metre men's final. Yeah, and he was fourth at the last Olympics.

He came fourth. Yeah. He got close. He got very close. God, there's a lot of sort of strange ones, isn't there? What do you mean? Oh, no, that's just Olympics in general. What's the one where it's like a hydra slide, but there's a lot of sort of strange ones, isn't there? What do you mean? Oh, no, that's just Olympus in general. What's the one where it's like a hydra slide, but there's no water?

That's some scary shit. Oh, I know. Skeleton. Where they just slide down? Skeleton? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going so fast. Yeah.

That was the one, was that last one was Olympus or the one before the person died? That's right. How do you get good at it? Real still. You've got to be real still. Real skinny? I think you've got to, like, have quite a good core strength to hold it all together, right? And predict the turns and everything.

Because, Anna, have you been down a hydra slide and you just get one little bump and then you're all flailing? And your head's like, you're like, I'm going to break my neck. And then it goes into the dark part of the hydra slide and you're like, I can't see, I can't see. And then there's some a-hole blocking the blimmin'. Yeah. You know, like doing a brace position, you going. Someone lost their mat. Yeah.

Someone's lost their mat. I love how we're comparing a nice, fun Hydra slide to an Olympic sport. Yeah. Just because we've got little to no. Knowledge. Knowledge of how it all works. Yeah, but those are the two New Zealanders that are skinning the game. And the medal at the moment

The Swedish are at the top Oh good on them Swedish again though Do you know how that's so obvious I want to see I want to see A hot hot country Wow Jamaica

Army country Jamaica They could do it again with the bobsled Wait again That was just the movie wasn't it They didn't win in the movie They didn't win in the movie. They didn't win in the movie. Remember the cactus? Spoiler alert.

I'm sorry, but Cool Runnings came out nearly 30 years ago. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I might be in a bit of twabble next week. I've got my third appointment with a nutritionist. I've been dealing with a nutritionist because I've got a stuffed guts. God knows what happened to it, but it's unhappy. What have you got a thing? I've got a thing.

I'm just suddenly allergic to everything. It's bad. Wait, what? Just any food, and then I'll have a pregnant belly. Any food? Anything. I don't want to stand up and show you. It's embarrassing.

What is it? FODMAP. Yeah, well, I'm reacting. I've been trying. Basically, I'm working with this nutritionist to get to the bottom of it. Did the wines help with the weekend? I don't care.

Well, this nutritionist is like going through, I've gone through, I've done every diet you could think of to try to sort of find the one that works for me. And I said to her, I was like, I don't want to do that again. It's boring. So she's like, we'll just eliminate things slowly. So this week it was onions, garlic, mushrooms and cauliflower. FODMAPs.

Oh, those are all great things. I know. Cauliflower, not so much at the moment because it's summer. Yeah. Onions and garlic though. And I eat mushrooms like nearly every day. And we were just going to cut back a little bit on the booze. That was just a sort of a side note.

That wasn't the main thing she said. We were just going to pull back a little bit. So on Friday, I had a cheese and onion toasty sandwich followed by a bottle of wine. Saturday, we had friends over. We're cutting back on the booze a little bit. We're cutting back on the booze. I just had a bottle though.

It was just a bottle. Okay. And then on Saturday I had we had friends over for dinner. I had a block of chocolate. I had cocktails. I had maybe a couple of bottles of wine.

I had onions in my salad. We had garlics on the steak. And then on Sunday I was hungover so we had dominoes. Yeah, we had Domino's. Then I slept for a bit, and then we woke up, and I made us toast.

Yep. And then yesterday I ate a burger with onion rings. The only thing she told you not to eat or cut back on that you haven't touched is cauliflower. Arguably the healthiest choice of the five things. It's hard. I did four days of not eating it. Was there a, like, did you see an improvement in four days to your guts?

Yeah, it was really good. But today, I was brushing my teeth and I was hoping my stomach wasn't going to wake up Aaron in the other room. It was like... It's very upset with me today. Do you need a poo-poo pill? Oh, that eat your healthy poo-poos? Or you can take a suppository of poo-poos

and it like resets the bacteria, right? Who's healthiest out of you two? Who's going to volunteer? I think you have to get it done in a lab and all properly. I don't have that kind of money. I'm already wasting money on this nutritionist because I'm not following her guidelines at the moment.

She's tearing open a neurofen capsule she's got. I think she's just going to pack her own. Dump that out. Pass it to you. Fletch, you get pretty fit.

What do they call it? A fecal something? Transplant. It sounds like we're joking but we're not joking and it's like people have had amazing results.

Yeah, so you take the fecal matter of someone who's really healthy, has a great working gut. Art Green. Art. Art and Matilda should start selling their poos. I don't know how he would take to a DM asking for a sample. We've met a couple of times. I reckon he'd be open to it.

Right. Yo, yo, homie, what's up? How's the ice baths? Dude, hey, just wondering, can I get a little couple of G's of your poos? Can I get a couple of nugs? Let's look for a couple of nuggies. You or Matilda. But that's seriously work for people that have struggled with their gut health.

To be fair, I don't really know anyone who keeps a great healthy life. Right. So you would have to be asking a stranger. No, I'm actually asking our listeners. Right, okay. If you think you've got a gut of an iron gut. Yeah, private bag. 14.

Yeah. I just pop it in a sellable bag. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. This may be because of, in fact, they believe it is I just pop it in a sellable bag. This may be because of, in fact, they believe it is the pandemic and people spending so much more time in their homes and having money that they might have normally spent on overseas travel burning a big old hole in their pocket. So they take that money and then borrow heaps more and they renovate.

But a lot of people have tried to do it themselves. Okay. 30% of people have done renovations all by themselves, according to the study. Just got it and done. Now it might be something small, like you just might have taken a wall out, plastered. I mean, it's not a load bearer.

Hopefully not. You've taken a wall, you've asked. Well, they could have just painted the lounge or something. And then filled it and painted it. You know, it probably took a while compared to what professionals could have done with them, but it saved you a whole lot of money. And that's what they reckon also drives people to do their own reno's. Do it yourself.

And how hard it is to get somebody to come in and do a job because everybody's so busy. Well yeah, it's really hard to get any kind of tradies at the moment, isn't it? I grew up in a DIY house. Patsy Sproul, she is a master. She can plaster, paint, wallpaper, tile. Oh really? Man, she can do it all. And so when we grew up, my mum was constantly

renovating. She would do so much of it herself. And then so when I grew up, I was like, I can't wait to be just like my mum and get really into DIY. And so when Aaron and I bought our first home and we started renovating it and I realised how much I hate it. Yeah. How much I hate DIY. It's hard.

And I don't want to do it and my shoulders hurt. I feel quite disappointed. I know, because when you sand for more than like five minutes, you're like, ow. Oh my God. It's real ouchies, eh? My mum and I painted the exterior of mine and Aaron's first house one summer. And I came back to the gym and my PT was like, oh my God, your shoulders. I was jacked from that. From painting.

From all the painting. Yeah, right. The first time I used oil paint, I cried. And I think that's when I learned that DIY wasn't for me. Why did you cry for oil paint? Very sticky. Oh, very thick. Very thick. It does not work with you for oil? Very sticky. Oh, very thick. Very thick.

It does not work with you. It works against you. No, yeah. I thought you were doing something about oil upset you. No, no, no, no. I just couldn't, I couldn't get a hold of it

and I felt like a failure and I burst into tears. Well, rather than hear the stories of success like the time you painted the outside of your house and got absolutely jacked in the process.

Honestly, I was cut. Cut from the paint. Oh my God, yeah. Honestly, I was cut. Cut from the pain. Oh my God, yeah. Well, I want to know when it all went horribly wrong. When you tried to DIY. Yeah, how badly did it go before you had to call in

the professionals? You do a lot of tinkering and DIY. I do tinkering. But you just didn't done the bathroom but you had proper people around for that.

You're not going to mess with that. Oh my God, no. Oh God, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'll do stuff like troughs, like connect water pipes and that sort of stuff. But that doesn't need to be like. I just get a trough guy for hours.

That doesn't need to be like precise and, you know, my wife's not going to walk in and be like, hmm, I don't trust this. Not where I would have put it. But, you know, that was. Well, worst case, it floods a paddock. Who cares? Absolutely.

Paddocks are made to be flooded. Are they? I don't know how a farm works. They do need water, though, famously. Right. So, yeah, when did you try something DIY at home? And when did you fail miserably? We don't want to hear the 30% good stories.

No, I want to hear that you thought it wasn't a load-bearing wall and then realised it was. Oh, that roof seems to be dipping a bit. When the roof had a sag. Maybe some cutting through some cables. Oh, yeah. Or some pipes. Pipes.

That's a big one. I've cut through a pipe or two. Yeah, it's bad. Shit. How proud are you right now? Your daughter's just become the first Kiwi to win a winter gold ever. Not for me. All right, I'll wait $100 at end.

We're talking about DIY gone wrong because so many people are tempting it. Because tradies are all bloody busy trying to keep the cost down. I remember when I had some tiles left over once, I just sold them on Trade Me rather than just chuck them out. And this lady picked them up and I always wondered to this day how she got on because she said to me, this will be interesting. I've sold them on Trade Me rather than just chuck them out. And this lady picked them up and I always wonder to this day how she got on because she said to me this will be interesting. I've never done tiling. It's not too hard really.

Oh, I wouldn't trust myself. It would be a bit wonky. Every time I saw them I'd be like I did that and they're wonky. And you can tell. And I can tell. You damned fool. You damned idiot fool. Look what you did. You wonky tiled guy. Well, Kimberly said we were framing up our own paving stones.

Oh, yeah. Which are tiles for the outside. Yeah. And when we got the frame right, I was banging in the stake and the stake went straight through the sewer pipe, which is pressurised. So that means she's got poos and wheezes

in her face. Poo fountain. Yeah, a little pooey fountain. Tashi said, I was sanding my deck down with an angle grinder with a sanding disc on it, and I cut my leg open. Why are you sanding your deck with an angle grinder? But if it's got a sanding disc on it, but that's still not its intended purpose. Yeah, I feel like this is on you to this person.

That's definitely not its intended purpose there, Tashi. I cut my leg open. The gash was 10 centimetres by 2 centimetres. No! All right, well, keep your disaster... I'm talking about the same size as the sanding disc. Anyone's doing the math? Sounds like it.

Keep your DIY disaster stories coming in. 0800 DALES at emu.com as well, 9696. We're talking about DIY gone wrong. And surprise, surprise, New Zealand, no shortage of people partaking but also buggering it up.

Yeah. Some messages in. My mother-in-law was trying to move some cabinetry for painting. There was a large bookshelf with a heavy old TV. She kind of got it

off against the wall but then she said, oh, there's a cable holding it to the wall. Right. Do you remember when I said there was a TV in there? Yeah. So she reached in with a pair of scissors to cut the cable holding it against the wall but then she said oh there's a cable holding it to the wall. Right. Do you remember when I said there was a TV in there? Yeah.

So she reached in with a pair of scissors to cut the cable holding it against the wall. Oh my god. And got a hell of a shock and had to have her sit down in a cuppa

because she just cut through the power cable for the TV which was still plugged in. Oh my god. Jeepers. It doesn't look like anything else. Power cords don't look like anything. No, like a tether of some kind.

No. My dad was cutting into the ceiling for a manhole and managed to cut through some electrical cords. He figured it must have been the phone, and he said to my brother, can you call the landline? I'm going to hold these two ends together we were like

I don't think you should do that because that doesn't look like a phone cord and he's like it must be the only thing and he was holding the two ends together

and someone flicked the lights on he came down that ladder pretty quick and he said I won't be doing that again and had to get somebody else in to fix it

like an actual proper electrician yeah my husband hired a nail gun to use a sweet fence because hammers take too long. He fired it. It ricocheted off the fence and it went straight into his hand.

Instead of coming inside and asking someone for help, we just saw him drive away. He took himself to A&E, got patched up, and to this day we don't dare discuss the nail gun incident. No, no. It was a private issue. He shot it at the fence, like not even holding it against the wood.

Because I thought they had to be like... They had to be pushed in. Yeah. You could have butted against it. I don't know how he did that. But it went horribly wrong. Jess, what was your DIY disaster? It was my car.

It has this... In the center console, it had this really obsolete phone charger cradle thing kind of threw into it. Yeah. And it was like the old rectangle iPhone plug. And honestly, it's a huge center console, and it just took up a lot of space, and I just wanted my space back.

So I undid all the bolts and stuff to remove the cradle for it, and it was really quite straightforward. And then there was just this little cable left. Yeah. So I just cut it because... Yeah, get rid of that. You don't need that for it. You don't need it anymore.

You don't. Exactly. Just an external cable. So what I did was I shorted something and I lost my reversing camera. I lost my power steering. When I started the car, there was all these pretty lights on the dash.

Like a blooming Christmas tree. Oh, no. Did you have to take it to someone to get fixed? Yeah, it cost me $1,000. No! From fixing one cable. Yeah. Wow. I had to recode everything.

Yeah, they laughed a lot. Amazing. Do you have sex on your call? Peach, what was your DIY disaster? Oh, hi guys! Hi! Hi, long time podcast. Hi. Hi. Hi. Long time podcast listener.

It's a real treat to hear you guys live this morning. Oh, thank you for listening to us. We hope you love those ads. Yeah, they've been great. They've been great. Thank you. So my husband, he's going to kill me. Oh, my God. He is a real DIYer.

And full credit to him, he's usually pretty good. He's the kind of guy that whenever I say I want something, he's like, oh, I'll be able to make that for you. I've got one of those. Yeah, it's great. And he convinced me that we needed a digger because, you know, if we just buy a digger, we don't have to pay someone to come and do all the landscaping.

It'll pay for itself, you know? Okay, yeah. So we bought this digger. It's been going quite well He was putting a retaining wall in for us When he just said that he was pretty sure There was a cable under there When he cut the internet off

No No, like badly? Or could you get it reconnected? Well, bad enough we didn't have internet for a while So we were working from home at that time So that was not ideal. Awesome timing. He managed to kind of like jimmy it back up and get it going.

But we're on to the old Starlink now, so. Oh, yeah. Digger is safe. Also, I just love that rather than hiring a digger, he just bought a digger. I know. Well, he bought one. He didn't hire one. You and me both.

Oh, you and me both. I'm really pleased we bought a digger. Wait, he still owns the digger? Wait, he still owns the digger? Yeah, he still owns the digger, yep. We've done heaps of random landscaping. No, you can just drive them down to the shops as well for short little trips as well. Yeah, and put the shopping in the bucket.

I thought you just misspoke and meant he hired one for the day. No, she said bought the first time. I was like, oh, okay. And the second time I was like, oh, no, they did. They did. They bought it. Wow. Peach, amazing. Thanks the second time I was like, oh, no, they did. They did. Wow.

Peach, amazing. Thanks for your call. Some other texts. My dad was putting a new water line to the house with the digger. Cut the phone line to the entire area of Raglan. The entire. Oh, to do it. Wow.

Do you remember when the petrol, the big pipe that brings gas down to Auckland. And they put it down to the fact it was never confirmed but they believed it was somebody digging in a swamp for some coldy

with a digger and they went through it and then they we struggled going out go and get the go and get containers we've got some free petrol

literally going everywhere somebody asked when I was younger my mum and brother while dad was away decided to pull out a tree stump because he said he was going to do it while dad was away, decided to pull out a tree stump because he said he was going to do it.

Classic dad, never got around to it. So wrapped a chain around it, used a four-wheel drive, slammed it in first. The stump came out, but it came out along with the water pipe, the sewage pipe and the power pipe. And then the chain snapped as the thing, and it went through the back window of the ute. Fun times.

Wow. Yeah. Where would you even start? I'd just be like, oh. A lot of pipes, back window of the ute. Fun times. Where would you even start? A lot of pipes. A lot of wires. It's the unseen stuff. Do you still ring 124 before you dig?

That was always a thing. That was always a thing. Don't dig here until you've rung 124 and see where everything is. No, just give it a go. Feel it out. Let the pros do it. Just listen.

Sure. You really feel the earth. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. ZM's Add to Cart. Right now, though, Add to Cart. We did this, started last week.

We gave away the Frane TV on Friday, didn't we? It's amazing. We gave away some big things, the Dyson Airwrap as well. Some amazing goodies last week. We gave away the Frame TV on Friday, didn't we? It's amazing. We gave away some big things, the Dyson Airwrap as well. Some amazing goodies last week. Well, again today, this is how it works. We'll give you the first item now in our virtual shopping cart and then you've got to be listening at 11, 2 and 4

and then be the first caller through with Brianne Clint this afternoon. If you name all the items that we've put in the cart across today, you win them all. I've got today's. I've got today's. You've got today's. Now, usually there's a bit of a theme to the cart. I'm unsure about the theme of this cart.

Item number one in the cart, a track suit. Oh, okay. A track suit. Maybe it's an Olympic theme. Could be, could be. It's like a matching, you know, track jacket and track pant set. Okay. So just put track suit down.

Track suit will suffice. A few writing notes today. I won't confirm nor deny the brand. Georgia will have the next item in our cart at eight o'clock.

Next on the show though. Wow. A real boner killer on Instagram last night, wasn't there? I was like, oh, shudder. Get out of that marriage. My though. Wow. A real boner killer on Instagram last night, wasn't there? I was like, oh, shudday. Get out of that marriage.

My God. Yeah. Vaughn's found the new game to play. And it's good fun. Is it? It's next. As I was scrolling

through Instagram last night, I happened upon Vaughn, your wife's page, and she was sharing on her stories a video of you playing a new silly game. Well, yeah, I've had a sore back and this whole situation. What have you done? You've pinched a nerve or something, haven't you? Yeah, I think it's a pinched nerve. Sounds pinched.

It sounds pinched. Shooting pains and deferred pain, is that what they call it? Yeah. Like where it's sore in the back, but then all of a sudden it'll be in the hip. It's the hip. Hey, here's also a little FYI. Yeah. I saw the sore part of the back here, the deferred pain to the testicles.

Now, that's not much fun. Oh, no. Sore in the balls. deferred pain to the testicles. Now that's not much fun. Oh no. It just felt like it would be a shooting pain and it would just feel like someone would just walk past you and whack and just give the old sack tap. Is that a game that boys

play at all boys schools? Both or one? One. The right hand testicle because it's a right hand pain. Isn't the the right hand pain. Isn't the body weird and wonderful? Well this game is not wonderful. There are wonderful things to do with bodies.

So on Sade's post she said Vaughn is playing a farm simulator game. He's even made an avatar that looks exactly like him. I don't know what's worse, this or D&D. And were you in this video? No wonder you've got a bad back. No, I had to sit like that.

You were slumped like a child. No, I had to put the pillow at the back and then move around. I have to keep it moving otherwise it gets stiff and You brought a dining chair forward so you could close it to the TV. And you're in a virtual tractor. Are you making hay there or you're And you're in a virtual tractor.

Are you making hay there or you're collecting grains? Collecting grains there. The wheat was ready. That's where I started the game at. Because I was looking for a game to play yesterday and I was in the mood for one of those, like, sim games. Sim games? Right. Why don't you just play The Sims

and just have a lovely couple dying in a pool, you know? The house is on fire. The Sims was... I didn't see The Sims on the PlayStation store. So you bought this game? Yeah. I had some credit under my PlayStation account, so I bought it. So you were scrolling through some game lists and you're like, oh, virtual farming. Farming.

Farm simulator. And I was like. You've got a farm. It's tiny. It's tiny. This is so much fun. This is like one of those simulators they have at a careers expo. Yes.

And you go along and they're like, do you want to work in forestry? Sit in here and cut some trees down. Well, no, I can get into forestry, but that's some expensive equipment. I'm not ready to do that yet. So basically at the moment I'm big on spraying. I've got myself a sprayer and I'm going around doing contracts for spraying. But, you know, I've also learned I don't have to buy the equipment every time. I shouldn't be

ashamed to hire the equipment. You should hire. Yeah, hire and then at the end of the day they just come and get that. So what happens at the end of this game? Are you just farming the entire planet? Is that clocking this game? I don't know. When do you win? I don't know. When I buy the supply chains because that's the other thing. There's a bakery on the side of the road just you win? I don't know. When I buy the supply chains,

because that's the other thing. There's a bakery on the side of the road, just down the road from my farm. Now, if I buy that bakery, I've got to have a farm dedicated to providing wheat for the bakery to make the bread. Tell you what doesn't happen after this game, any sex in your house. I don't think it is happening with the right hand testing the leg.

The right hand testing the sore backs. The way in which she was filming was like, ugh, this man. Oh yeah, she's just...

It is farm simulation. She was disgusted at it. She also asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said, I want to play in all,

like, me and the girls and Sade all play a game of Dungeons and Dragons. And she was just like, I tell you what, you're not getting for your birthday, that. I was like, you asked me what I wanted and thatade all play a game of Dungeons and Dragons. And Sade's just like, I tell you what, you're not getting it for your birthday.

That. I was like, you asked me what I wanted and that's all I want. For your 40th birthday, that's all you could think of. Yeah. Well, no, that's all I want. God, you're an easy gift, aren't you? I want to spend time with them doing something fun. Not a nice watch or something?

But anyway, no, let's wrap this up, guys, because I've got some bloody, I've got some corn. I think there's a guy down the road who's going to contract me to get his corn processed. We've lost him. Do you have to pay for things? Like is this game, you're going to get addicted and you have to spend money? No, I haven't seen anything like that.

I haven't seen anything like that. How much did this game cost? 70 bucks. Far apart. I thought't seen anything like that. How much did this game cost? 70 bucks. Far apart. I thought you were not going to say that word. Far apart. Are you kidding me? Yeah.

To virtual farm. Oh my God, I can think of so many better things to spend 70 bucks on. A delicious dinner for two. One and a half. I was going to say, how do you eat? That's like one member of the Smith household eating moderately at a restaurant. Wow. You know what?

I don't know why we all spend our money on different things. Our entertainment, you know, budgets all line up a little differently. But I'll tell you who got to virtually drive a Massey Ferguson in a John Deere at the weekend. It was this girl right here. I've got some great farm workers too, guys. But this game, it's not perfect. There are a few glitches. Are there any farm wenches? You know, does it get a bit sexy? No, there's no. Oh, but this game is not perfect. There are a few glitches. Are there any farm wenches?

You know, does it get a bit sexy? No, there's no. Oh, don't come into the barn. Yeah, do you get to kiss anyone on the farm? Yeah. Is there a hot little farm boy? Maybe that's the end of the game. How much are you paying your

farm workers? Minimum wage or under? Oh, I don't know. Because maybe that's the end of the game. You're like a hot little lover. How much are you paying your farm workers? Minimum wage or under? Oh, I don't know. Because maybe that's the next thing. Maybe the Department of Labor. Because another game that I played yesterday was a roller coaster tycoon. You had to make a theme park. These ungrateful bastards. I gave them a $5 pay rise on their first day.

And then they were like, we don't feel challenged in our job. So I made them do some training and upskill. And then I upskilled them and they're like, we're not paid enough for the level of skill we've got. I'm like, well, nothing. Keep the working class happy. And so I immediately voted act. And you did the game finish?

Yep. Okay, right. Lots of money for me. And that's when you turned to farming. Yeah. I tell you, what if there's some voting in game two? I won't be voting in those bloody greenies trying to shut down my big spray operations. Are you worried the farm chemicals you're using in this virtual game will give you cancer

and your character will die? Oh my God. Hopefully not. I've got a lot of work to do. I don't have time to be sick. Sam already sounded like a farmer. Don't have bloody time to be sick. Oh God. You'll be happy about I'm already sounding like a farmer. Don't have bloody time to be sick. Oh, God.

You'll be happy about this rain, the virtual and otherwise. Oh, the virtual and real rain. Well, no, it started raining in the game, and there was like a good bit of joy there because I just recently fertilised the crops. You know, we do mock you for this, but your wife did wake up to a lot of messages this morning. I love when this happens because, because like you do it as well.

You go in hot and hard against some little thing I'm into and it turns out there's this like underground of people that have just been waiting to talk about it. Because she said she woke up this morning, she dealt with it all last night. Yeah. And then she woke up this morning, she said she had 40 replies of people being like, this game is great

please let the man get on with his virtual farming. Wow. Yeah, so. Do you know what the nerds are there? 40 people out there. That was just overnight. They were probably up late at night. They probably bloody had a virtual farm emergency.

All right, next on the show, the one picture you should have on a dating app that will help you get more swipes. Is it you, virtual father? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, a poll's been done by a pet food company about pets being the ultimate wingmen. I didn't realise this is who had done this study. Neither until I... We have some great sources here for this research.

We do, we do. Non-bias at all. No. But they did have a good sample size, so they asked a couple of thousand people, and two out of three people said that if a guy or girl on a dating app had a photo of them with their pet, they would swipe right.

The good swipe. The good swipe. They'd be into it. They'd swipe right. The good swipe. The good swipe. They'd be into it. They'd swipe right. 65%. So two thirds. What is the sexiest pet? It'd have to be a cute dog, right? Or a cute cat. It'd be dog.

Like a big, big boy with a little cat. Swipe right. Swipe right. It's a massive unit with a little cat. Swipe right. It's a massive unit with a little kitten. Hey, hey, hey. Like a 6'5 guy holding a tiny kitten

in his hand. Like a Jason Momoa type with a rescue three week old cat. Then he could crush. But he doesn't because his big hands are for caring, not crushing. Swipe right. They're for caressing and kissing. Boys and cats, boys and cats.

Here's another stat from this survey. 73% of respondents believe they'd be more likely to approach someone walking a dog. Yeah, it's a good sign that you can care for something. Yeah. You get the maturity. Dogs are a lot of work. Unless it's a Rottweiler. Is that what you were going to say? Well, no, I was going to say unless it's got one of those you can care for something. Yeah. You get the maturity. Dogs are a lot of work. Unless it's a Rottweiler.

Is that what you were going to say? Well, no, I was going to say, unless it's got one of those yellow ribbons around it. Isn't that the, you put a yellow something around it and it's like, this dog's not to be approached. Why? It's a little bit wary of strangers or might have had an abuse about bringing or something. You sure it's a ribbon?

It's a bit of a strange way to make a dog unapproachable. Around the collar. Oh, it sounds like it's a prison. Just popped over to say you dog unapproachable. Around the collar. Oh, it sounds like it's a prison. Just popped over to say you look lovely with your ribbon. A yellow collar, I believe. Is it a yellow collar? Yeah, because a ribbon just makes it look like you've won it.

Oh, Jarrod's confirmed. Green means it's friendly. What does red mean? Shark with legs. Yeah. I didn't know there was a colour code. No, I've seen it. Neither did I. Yeah, because our dog.

Red means stay away. Lulu's fine, but she doesn't like dogs up in her face. Right. So she'll like snap at them. So we were always a bit wary when people would be like, our dogs are... Two huge dogs just come bowling at her off the lead. And they'll be like, don't worry, our dogs are fine.

It's like, ours is not. Ours is not having a good time. Ours is not having a good time with this. So you think man holding cat? For me, big. But then you're into cats, aren't you? Yeah. You're into big boys, you're into big boys and cats. Big boys and cats. So do you think that

a Jason Momoa type would have to be holding a dog and a cat? Just so he's got all options covered. Yeah, I'm not so much of a dog person. I don't know if I'm ready for a dog in my life. So I'd be like, I want to get serious here. Is that dog going to be coming into my car? That's reflective of you there.

The cat, less of a connection. You can go away, of course, and leave your cat for a weekend. Yeah, the responsibility. But dogs, a lot more responsibilities. I can go to bed when I want. I can leave when I want. Yeah. I can do what I want.

Uh-huh. You're not ready for it. Not ready for it. You're not ready for it. Not ready for a big commitment. What about what pets would you avoid? Birds? Yes.

Bird people. Wide berth. Who's still out here owning birds? Yeah, yeah. What are we doing? Ah! Oh, what was that noise? Oh, that's my pet bird.

Okay, bye. Bye. Come on. Okay, bye. Bye. Come on. Ah, ah, ah. Play. Sid M's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Today's fact of the day is about diabetes.

Ah, the beaties. Diabetes. The word diabetes first used in the 2nd century AD, so 200 and something, a Greek doctor used the word diabetes, which meant in Greek siphon or pass through because people with untreated diabetes needed to urinate a lot. Oh, okay.

That's what it meant for it. Now, before there were tests of how one, you could learn how you had diabetes, one of the ways of testing was there was a presence of sugar in the urine, which indicated high levels of sugar in the blood. They would put a little bit of wheeze on the ground and see if ants stopped for some. I thought it was better than what you were going to say. Just have a little.

It is sweet. It is sweet. Wow. And would they do that in the, what year was this again? This was in 2 AD, the second century AD. They wouldn't have popped a little bit of wheeze on the ground. They would have made you just pop a squat on the ground

probably. And do a little bit of wheeze. Yeah, rather than put it in a container. And so if ants were like attracted to it it would show that there was a higher than normal level of sugar in the urine. And so they would say oh you've got the, you've got diabetes

mellitus. Mellitus means apparently sweetened with honey. So it would mean it's passing through you, it's siphoning through you and it's sweetened with honey. Wow. Which is how they got the name for diabetes. It'd be good if you're on like a boat, what do you call them? Like a shipwreck or something. Yeah. And if you looked around, whose wheeze are're all going to drink, you'd probably have to

go. It's naturally Sweden. You'd have to go with who's got the diabetes. Right. Like, Kellyanne, you've got the diabetes, don't you? I think it's for you, babe. I think you're up. Why didn't you just wait until it rained and then put some big banana leaves out to catch

the rain? Maybe it's the middle of the dead heat of summer. It hasn't been raining days. But what's Callie Ann going to drink? She'll have to have my sour wheeze. And in turn make it up. But then also wouldn't she not be well if she had diabetes 1 or 2 and was on an island without medication?

Well, we would quickly drink her wheeze and then we'd have to eat her. She's unwell and she's going first. She's the weakest of the herd. I'm not waiting around. I'm talking, I'm six hours in. Callie-Anne. Callie-Anne's the most crucial member of the team so far. She's food and beverage.

I don't know if Callie-An Ann was a 2AT name, to be honest. Yeah, wow. Right. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. We were talking modern times. You're only eating summer because it was nearly 2,000 years ago. No, no, I'm talking about if I went on a nice summer holiday next year and this happened, I wouldn't

hold back to drink Kelly Ann's sweet, sweet wheeze. Your flight back from Rarotonga got delayed. Yeah, absolutely. Well, Kellyanne, she's like, come on, there's a vending machine behind you. We can't trust them. I don't need that much sugar. I just need how much is in your urine stream. So today's fact of the day is diabetes has a full name diabetes mellitus,

which means it passes through and it's sweetened with honey. And an old way of testing it was to do a bit of wheeze on the ground and see if the ants were into it. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- But I do believe the stats will apply to us. Okay. It looked at driving in the dark. People are scared of driving in the dark. 41% are afraid of driving in the dark. 42% are scared of unfamiliar roads.

You're describing everything my mother's wary of when she's driving. Doesn't like driving in the dark. Doesn't like driving when it's raining. Yeah. Doesn't like driving where she hasn raining. Yeah. Doesn't like driving where she hasn't been before. Does she like logging trucks? Not a fan of big vehicles.

Not a fan. See, I love a challenge and I'm always like, bring it on. I do like to think that if push came to shove and a log did come loose, I would have the reaction

to be like, and get around it. Wham, wham. Spin the car on its side, wind down the windows, let the log just shoot through the middle. Straight through the middle. That's what I'd do. the car on its side, wind down the windows, let the logs just shoot through the mill. Straight through the mill.

That's what I'd do. And then you look at Aaron and you're like, family. Just put my hand against his chest out of the way. You know what's more

important than logs? Family. 61% of the participants claim that they would only go on a road trip if they didn't have to drive. Not me. I'm not a good passenger.

I'm this one. Oh, yeah. You want to slow down? But who is the prominent driver in your relationship? I would say me. You drive more. Really? Yeah, I'd say me.

I love to drive. Yeah. But the interesting stat from this is that 40% of participants believe the best driver they know is themselves. And I agree. You agree. The best driver they know is myself. Doesn't everybody think

I mean we've all got that nervous driver friend who knows they're bad. Who's a little bit like I can't park. I know Hayden Patton. I know he's got to be better. Did you hear that name drop just now? That one that just hit table, didn't it? He's a better driver than me.

Well, yeah, it says that's his job. I can't claim that. I don't know them personally. I remember their names. I could probably find them in Uber, but they were all pretty across the board. Pretty good drivers. Oh, yeah, right. Apart from that one that hit the curb that time.

Well, there was that one that fell asleep that time, but that was a taxi driver that was well before the days of, yeah, he ran a curb in South Auckland. We were like, what, are you all right? He was like, huh, what happened? Oh, no. Were you asleep? I'm a very good driver.

I'm very skilled. I'm very confident. Are you confident enough to download your insurance provider's app that you leave open while you're driving and it uses your phone to see how hard you brake and how fast you go? I've never heard of that. Yeah, was it Tower Insurance? I'm not even insured.

I think so. That's how confident I am. She's that good. They call it NARC. I think you download it and it just NARCs on you. NARC. But if you're a good driver and you don't break the speed limit and your braking's all good and your cornering's great,

then they can lower your premium. Oh, I don't mean good driver like a goody two-shoes driver like you'll describe. Oh, the speed limit. You just mean that you haven't had an accident. No, I just mean I'm very confident. Okay, right. I see a car park, ain't no thing. I'm getting

my hatchback in there. Your, your... Tow bar and all. Yeah, right. Well, I think we should take some calls this morning not on the good drivers. Yeah. But on the how bad are you? Good drivers don't need not ring up because we've found the best driver and it's Hayley Jane Sproul.

We want the worst drivers. Yeah, like how many crashes have you had? Are you just bad luck at driving? Can you not get out of first gear? And you've just spent all your money on a manual and now it just sits in the driveway. One to two is hard. One to two is hard.

One to two is so hard. Zero, not moving to one is harder. Did you learn to drive in a manual? No, I didn't. I learned to drive in my dad's Lexus and I backed it into... It was a company car. He didn't own it,

but that's all right. He owned the company. Yeah. See, you don't have to come in here with your dad's tax loopholes still carrying this in case the IRD call.

It was pretty good. I did back it immediately into a letterbox and never drove it again, though. So how bad are you at driving? Have you had, like, more than one accident? Yeah, have you scraped your Lexus? Your daddy's Lexus. Your daddy's Lexus.

I don't know, maybe learning to drive, you just had accidents all the time. You couldn't pass. Yeah. Maybe you just lack that confidence. A jittery driver is the worst. Especially with, because I'll usually wind down the window and give them a yell.

Maybe you avoid parallel parks. Just keep driving around until they can find where they can just drive into. Or you avoid heli areas. I'll wait 100 miles at the end. Heli areas! Sorry, I can't come to Wellington. The hills scare me. Well, 40% of drivers

think they're the best driver they know. But they're wrong because I am. Well, that's the thing. Everybody going faster than you is a maniac or a hoon. Everyone driving slower is just a scaredy cat. We drive cars to get somewhere

faster. So when people drive slow, I'm like, come on, get out and walk. Matthew, this is your dad. How bad a driver is he?

Yeah, so he crashed, we were moving one day and he crashed three cars in one day. What? The same car or different cars?

Different cars. How badly did he crash? Are we talking a ding, a scratch? So he, yeah, so he backed my car, which was just a little Toyota Corolla, into my mum's new Holden Commodore, smashing my taillight and, like, popping the bumper out in her car.

Dad! And then I was backing a horse float up the driveway at our new place, and it had, like, a wee bit of horse float up the driveway at our new place. And it had like a wee bit of a bank up the driveway. And so he comes up with my brother's car. And instead of just waiting for me to pull back, he like lobs the car onto the bank. And like drives up past me and like dents the whole of the door. Oh, my God.

Jesus, Dad, like... And what was the third one? That one. That one. That one, because he backed my car into my mum's car. Right, so that's a twofer. That's a twofer. Okay, right, yeah.

He sounds like a shocking driver. Honestly, he is. He's like... There's so many times I've been driving with him. He had a bridge one time. No, Matthew, don't drive with him anymore. You've been driving with him. He hit a bridge one time. No, Matthew, don't drive with him anymore. You need to be the driver. He hit a bridge.

He needs to be the passenger. He doesn't drive. Bridges don't even move. Yeah, usually it's my mum that drives. She's the main driver in the family. She knows. Sounds like she knows. I know, but she's a woman.

She'd be terrible. I mean, you said it. Matthew, thanks for your call. Some messages in. My Irish partner, she's a terrible driver. One time I was very tired. We're on a road trip. So I said, if you could drive, that'd be great.

I woke up with my head getting smashed into the window. It turned out she thought the yellow recommended speed signs with the corners were the angle of the window. It turned out she thought the yellow recommended speed signs for the corners were the angle of the corner. She said, I was wondering why they measured the corners and why so many were 40 degree corners. Oh my God. Okay, yeah, that would have woken you up. You'd be driving after that.

Keep your messages coming in. 9696 0800 dials at M. How bad of a driver are you? Or if you want to dob someone in, let us know how bad. 40% of drivers think they are the best driver that they know. The best hands down. Yeah. We don't want to know how good you are.

We want to know this morning how bad you are. This message comes in anonymously. I hate to admit this, but years ago I accidentally backed over my own cat in my own driveway now i wouldn't say that's bad driving i'd say that's bad catting cats should be more alert to their surroundings so our dogs when we get home we drove down the driveway they're nipping in front of the car and shadow's like slow down i'm like nope they've got to learn if they get a donk by the front of the car i always check now because we had an older cat, like 16 years old. She went deaf. Shack.

Shack. So whenever we had to back out of the driveway, I had to check that shack wasn't underneath because she wouldn't hear the car start. Right. Could you have put like a flashing light on your reverse bumper? Could have done. Well, this person, they backed over their cat and then freaked out quickly, flung the cat into the front of the car.

I would have liked to have carefully and gracefully picked up your injured cat and raced to the vet. I proceeded to drive straight through the vet's fence when I got there with the cat lying, dying next to me. I never admitted that my front bumper fell off on the fence. I chucked that in the back of the car, brushed in, the cat died. But I've never had to admit that it was me that smashed down

the vet's fence. I mean, you're bad for nothing. I laughed, I cried. Caitlin, how bad of a driver are you? Probably quite bad. Hey, well at least you can recognise it. How many crashes in one day or in your life?

No, like big crashes, but just like little stuff. Like my partner's a panel beater, thank God. Match made in heaven. Bad driver and a panel beater. I crashed into my own fence and then he just left it weeks to fix it because he was like, she's going to crash it again. And I didn't. So he was like, about time I fixed it. And then two days later it weeks to fix it because he was like, she's going to crash it again. And I didn't.

So he was like, about time I fixed it. And then two days later, I crashed it again. He was a couple of days off then. He knew. Yeah. But no, yeah, not great. Imagine if you had to date somebody that, like, you date a panel beater, you've got a great driver, but, like,

whatever was going to cost you the most amount of money was who you had to date. Oh, yeah. Or a whiskey distiller. Like whatever was going to cost you the most amount of money was who you had to date. It would be like me dating a chef. Or a whiskey distiller. Amazing. Caitlin, thanks for your call. Some other text messages about poor driving. I've reversed into our gate twice.

Our car has a reverse camera. How do I keep doing this? I don't know. You've got to look at the camera though, don't you? I don't trust the camera. My car's got a reverse camera and I don't know. You've got to look at the camera though, don't you? I don't trust the camera. My car's got a reverse camera and I don't ever use it. You've got to use your human senses. You've got to use your mirrors.

You've got to use your mirrors. Spin around and see that. Also, I think I might have knocked mine and it's pointed too far down. Right. You need to readjust then. You need to readjust, yeah. My mum's had her learners since I was born, and I'm 26 now. She's terrified of driving because she thinks every car on the road's aiming for her. Oh, dear.

I've only known once in my adult life for her to drive. It was down a semi-long driveway, and she got out, and she couldn't hold her hand still. It was shaking. She was so terrified. See, she's doing us a favour by not driving, though. Get a push bike. I don't know.

Maybe wheels. Wheels on a hole. I think Uber's for her. I don't know. Maybe wheels. Wheels on a whole. I think Uber's for her. I'm always for her. I was driving along one day at 100 kilometres an hour, and I got to my turn, and I thought, oh, shit, that's my turn. And so I just turned. No, no, no, no, no.

At 100 kilometres an hour. You just passed. If it's a motorway, you go to the next off-ramp. We've all done that. You just do it. You just pass. You pass. If it's a motorway, you go to the next off ramp. We've all done that. Oh my God. I just put the handbrake on and just...

Again and scream something along the line of the... Nothing's more important than family. Very confident.