ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Ask Me Anything- Episode Fifteen

Episode Date: July 17, 2026

Today you asked us... why Fletch 'doesn't have a Dad'...  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Please wanted Haley's Ask Me Anything. Welcome our big pod and live shows back soon. On the 20th of July, it's our ask us anything while we're away on our mid-year break. Carla from Tauranga, her question is, guys, I really want to know the big question about Fletch. Does he have a dad? Oh. Does Fletch have no dad energy? Do I give no John?

We talk about lovely John. Lovely John. She's got a... He's back riding his bike. Fuck off. I don't think he should be riding. He got knocked off by a car. He got knocked off, yeah, yeah.

And it really did him a fucking mischief. How old is he? Um, 79. But he's an old mate in that he's worked in the trades. You can't tell these people. Like he's not driving anymore, luckily. You don't want him to stop, but like, get some training wheels on or something. Oh, that's no.

Oh, boy, that's. We might need to get him a mobility scooter. But there's no footpath by mum and dads. There's a bit of a place where... Give him some four-wheel drive mobility. Does he get him on your limes? Hook him up to your lime account. simply go wrong.

Oh no lovely John. I love John. Do you think Fletch gives abandoned, abandoned by dad energy? He gets emotionally stifled, unable to, yeah, for sure. Oh, he grew up without a far. He grew up in the mean streets of New Plymouth. Yeah, yeah. So he hardened.

Maybe I gave the orphan energy. Do you give all? Maybe. No, you give mum, but yeah, she was. Yeah, hard. Yeah. Hard. She couldn't let you be a posse.

We had similar mothers, didn't we? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we all had similar sorts of mothers. Quite hard. Yeah, mine push for a bit And then went total liberal Oh right No, she just wanted me to be like the best

And then was like Ah fuck it I'm fucking truck You're a fucking comedian Yeah Yeah yeah Give up Yeah I'm not gonna waste too much

In my energy Trying to sort that all thing out Yeah I think the first time I met John I went down to New Plymouth And he came out for drinks with us And I was meeting your parents

And then he put his arm around me And he said I think I might have found My new wife To your mum Yep. And a nice, you know, it was hit his arm around and he said, I think I might have found my new wife.

Yeah, they love to. Like your dad lost to flirt with the waitress of us, doesn't he? A shocker. These old mates, bless them. Oh, shit, they'd be cancelled in it. Half a bit working in an office one, didn't they? Yeah. War and they'd be in so much trouble.

You should hear the shit. My dad's a bit younger, but he's got early onset Alzheimer's, so the filters are off. Why? He doesn't comment about. Every now and then, but like, who. and following all sorts of weird shit on Facebook you're like, Dad! Wait, hold on, it's prank.

I've got some interesting follows on. I think my dad might have, you know, looked up some sexy women on Facebook. Latino Goths? Yes, some Latino Goths, maybe. Obviously, somewhere he's joined a group or followed or whatever and he just gets inundated with pornographic messages.

And me and my love of, like, try to get rid of it. but also like have that. Like, go on you, mate. You're in your twilight years, bloody, enjoy yourself.

Live it up. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. When my grandad had a brain injury, they said to us, the first thing that happens of this sort of brain injury

is the filters are gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And everyone was like, oh, oh. Yeah, because old mates. You're walking. Come on, your fat prick. And then a Filipino nurse walked in

and you could just see him eyeballing her and we're like, here we go. This is going to be the first one. And he's like, hello. And we were just like, Oh, thank God. Jesus.

Got another question? Um, well, and that's all I had allocated for this. Ask Me Anything episode. Okay, no, that's nice. That felt nice. Yeah, we've got another one next. Oh, no, I can work it out. We can balance this. Okay.

If you had to get a new job tomorrow and it couldn't be radio, what would you do? Oh, I don't know. I can't do anything. Other than comedy? Other than being a phone night. Yeah, other than what we're already doing. Um, oh, I, um, I want to, I, okay, yes, I've thought about this.

I want to be like an antiques buyer and buy all sorts of cool furniture and bits and bobs and then have like it in storage and people can hire it out for like weddings or photo shoots or film sets. Oh yeah, nice. Because then I just get to shop but it's a business. Yes. My house is full.

Yeah. And now I'm like, now what? There's only so many taxidermied honey badges. Exactly. One can have. Do you want to see it? Yeah, that would be nice. Okay. But yeah, that's what I do.

I'd go like vintage shopping. Yeah, well, Shannon's saying, I think I could be a checkout check because I'd still get to press the buttons. Yes, that's what you've got at. The machines would take me over though. Yeah.

And you're not kind enough. Like you're not friendly enough to people. What do you mean? Like, hurry the fuck up. If they were taking their time, put in their little bits on an old lady. The bread on first. And you're like, you're dumb bitch.

The bread's going to get squashed by the heavy. Put the heavy stuff on first. Let's go. Make a mojo up a whole lot fucking harder than it needs to be. Pumpkin. Yeah. First. Then the bread.

Yeah, yeah. Bread squash. And you'd be complaining to my manager about the bread squash, your own stupid fault. And then the manager would come up to you and be like, we had a few complaints, Carl, about your demeanor and stuff. You'd be like, but the whole, the environment's fucked, you know, and I can't, it's the conditions of what we're working in.

The whole thing's fucked. It's all fucked. We need the new system. I'm a fucked. I think it's best I just retire, I think, on a beach. Yeah, that sounds pretty good. I think you just need to move somewhere cheap. Yeah.

So to make what you have, like, sell up. Go further. Yeah. And then just retire. And just be broke in a cheaper place. Yeah, surrounded by Latina. I mean, wherever you go, there's some tan skins and white eyes. Yeah, lovely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a pack that if it all goes tits up, we'll shoot you on the back of a boat and none we'll ever know. Yeah, yeah. You'll weigh me down, though, remember? Shit, mate, of course, of course. That vaughn'll do that, though, because I can't tie ropes. I don't want you guys going to prison for this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we won't be going to prison.

What will you do, Vaughney? I don't know. You want to be a groundskeeper? Yeah, I could be a groundskeeper or a garden. Sometimes I see schools and I'm like, oh, they are a bit looking a bit rough. Yeah. Do you with a bit extra TLC? No, I know that.

I know that. And that's where I probably get in trouble. Do you know what's got money and it's looking a bit rough? My fucking hedges. Still waiting. You're driving past schools of strangers. Yeah. Okay, I'll do the hedges.

No, I'm doing it. By the time this podcast is released. I would have done the hedges before I go overseas. You will have fallen off the ladder. Falling off the ladder. And we'll be taking you out on the back of a boat and shooting you in the back of the head and weighing you down and tossing you in the harbour.

Will that, will my life insurance come through? Because my parents are going to need that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, sweet. Whatever way.