ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Ask Me Anything- Episode Four

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

Today you asked us... about our run ins with the law!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Please wanted Haley's Ask Me Anything. Welcome. Our big pod is back on the 20th of July, along with the live show. So while we're on midwinter break, Vaughn probably dead under an avalanche in Wanica. And Haley and I, doing our charity work as we always do mid-year in the European area of France. If I am in an avalanche, I want everyone to know as I was underneath the snow, I probably went, that's about right. Would you try to eat you out? sums up my last couple of years.

That's about. You reckon you dribble, eh? Because often in avalanche, you don't know which way up you are. Because I've done an avalanche, remember I've done an avalanche course. Yeah. And you dribble and the spit goes down. Yeah. So that's how you know you climb against the spit.

Yeah, yeah. And that's why if you are going anywhere that's avalanche prone, you should always have a locator. RFI. Yeah. And then you've got a, to find them and you have a stick and you can poke it up. I'm not going off piece. No, you're not, no. I don't go off piece.

You're going about 20 metres from the cafe. Oh, going on piece. On peace and then on the piece. That's how I'll be doing it. But yeah, I'll be a under avalanche. I'll be that. Yeah. And again, Haley and I will be doing our charity work in the conflict zone of Europe.

Yeah. Of Western Europe. Over there, there's these French wineries that are not doing so well. A bit of a cash and check. To help them, you have to buy the wine. So you've got to buy it. You know, you know, they've worked so hard on it. You've got to drink it.

You're going to drink it. Well, I've got a question here. Today's asked anything. Georgia from the UK. Have you guys ever been in trouble with the law? Yes, I have. Have you? I've said this many times over the years.

This story is shoplifting when I was, I was like 13 or 14. You little shit bag. And I don't know, why is this out of boredom, I think? It was just to see if I could. What'd you take? Or like, there was definitely times when my friends and I would shoplift the odd chocolate bar. Yeah. From, you know, it's very naughty.

Very naughty. And I was just bored one afternoon. I think I was just waiting for mum to finish work. or I don't know what. And I was like, I wonder if I could get a refund for something that I shoplift. So he's moving from just plain shoplifting

to a little bit of light floor. Well, that's exactly what the police lady said. She said, this is very smart. Have you done this before? And I was like, no. And then, so the only reason I got busted was because of this old woman who was undercover as a shopper.

Right. And then after this, I saw her all over town. She worked in the supermarkets. She'd like wander around her trolley and just like look out for shoplifters. That bitch. And then so they caught me. I'd got out of the store, but they caught me when I came back to get a refund. Right.

Right. And then, yeah. And so, but then it was actually quite a good thing because then I was like straight and narrow after that. I've never again. I'm never doing that. It was scary. And you know, nothing happened. I think that you get, um, like, I don't know,

a cop rang me up and said, you're not going to do that again, are you? And I was like, no. No. And you're like, we'll fucking see pig. That's like I beg your pride. No, no, no. I was kidding. I was kidding.

I was going to get him. I just wanted to see how I found to say it. Yep. And then since no. So, yeah. I'm not even in trouble. I was in the back of a cop car once and that was scary. Because I'd had had a...

You're getting fingered. Dude, I wish. He was so hot. What? Okay, here's the... I wasn't referring to that. I wasn't referring to that. I was referring to a sort of another cop-based.

incident. Easy now. So we'll answer the questions but only if the listeners ask them. No, I've never been in trouble. I've never been charged with anything. I once had three pints of beer and then I got breathalized and I failed and then I had to get taken to the cop shop and then I passed because I was under and then they just dropped me back to your car and on the way back because I was like not nervous anymore I would notice

how hot the cop was, like tight arms and the things and stuff. And I was chit, chat, chatting away. Also, because I'd had a couple of drinks. You know, it's a bit loose left and I was having a good old chat. Jesus. But now, I've never been in trouble. I, at high school, had to go to the police station. Because we, one lunchtime, this was like in our last year of high school, and right

at the start of the year, we went to somebody's house who lived close to school. And they said they were going to be there, but they weren't there. We're like, oh, that's weird. And so we turned their house, everything in their house, We turned it upside down. That's funny. This is a funny silly bit frank. That's funny joke.

TV was only downstairs where they hung out. We didn't go upstairs into their parents' living room or bedrooms or anything like. Just this downstairs area for the teenage kids. We just turned everything upside down. Yeah. And we thought, man, we've nailed that. What a funny joke. Now, what we didn't know was their father was in the middle of a psychotic episode.

Whoa. He came home and believed aliens had turned the world upside down. Effectively, yeah, and had quite the break. which we did not know this was obviously not something we talked about in the 90s. But in your defence you didn't know. No, but we still did go into their property

without permission and fuck with all of their stuff. Now that led to myself, my friend Matthew and my friend Cara all having... No, Callum. Interesting. We're very interesting.

I reckon it was in the morning so too early in the day he wasn't awake yet. He missed a lot of school that year. And we had to go down to the police station and say sorry and also hear that breaking and entering a serious crime and blah blah blah.

I got grounded for ages. Like most of my seventh form or year, 13 year, I wasn't allowed to go to any of the parties. The other two were allowed to do whatever they want. And I was like, Man, man, bad is not fair. And they said, well, they're not our kids, we don't have to worry about them.

And, you know, looking back on it now, I kind of respect it. And they stuck to, because my parents, if my parents made a threat, they never back down. Yeah. Like when they said they'd invade Iran. Yeah, and they fucking did.

They did. They did. You know, they just. You know my dad, he's always like, we're going to the best, Army! I think people think when you say Ian that that's his name, but that's just the fun name that you call Donald. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just sort of an alias.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. An alias for it. But yeah, that would be about it. I think we're quite good boys and girls, really. Only because all the other really naughty shit we didn't get caught. Oh, yeah, you've told me some stories. They're like, Jesus, you're lucky to end up in Juvie. I'm glad there was no social media.

We're lucky we were dick-head teenage boys in cars that were too fast. Like, we're just looking back on it. I know. And, you know, I'm wondering if, um, I certainly hope Carma's not coming for me. My letterbox hasn't been smashed, which is amazing. Oh my God, Fletch, we should go and smash it. If Karma, we should go smash it. I've said, if my letterbox if you get smashed, I've got no right to be angry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I won't be. I'll be like, ah, well, them's the brakes. Yeah. You want some, you lose some. Mm.