ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Ask Me Anything- Episode Sixteen

Episode Date: July 18, 2026

Today you asked us... for our favourite listener story, and some very special advice!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Please wanted Haley's Ask Me Anything. And welcome our big pod. The live show is all back on the 20th of July after a mid-year break. So I'll ask us anything. We've got an email here from somebody. They're going to remain anonymous. But this is quite an intense email. I wanted to ask advice and maybe the list is, if they have any ideas,

I've been listening to you guys for a long time. Basically, I found out in 2022 that I had breast cancer, underwent treatment. It was long, nearly 10 months. I'm grateful. I listened to the podcast, got me through, went through chemo. I've had three years cancer-free last month, found out it's returned, and it's now stage four. There's very little that can be done.

I'm so sorry. Got kids. So my question is, if you had two years left, what would you do? Oh, God. Holy moly. This is actually her predicament. This is actually her life right now. Husbands resigned from the job just so we can spend as much time together as possible.

so we can go on some adventures. Fletch you've travelled around the world. Where would you go? What would you see? What experiences? Should we seek out? What's a must do? Where did you say they're living?

New Zealand? Yeah, yeah. I think they're in New Zealand. Okay. Yep. Whoa. Two years. So you've got kids.

It's so hard to just not want to just like shower you with like, I'm so sorry this has happened and how awful. But that's not what you need. I also think. You're going to live it up. As hard as it probably was hard times coming in terms of it. The fact that you're like, okay. Come on.

Let's fucking do this. is a great attitude because I reckon I'd really struggle to get into that mindset so it's pretty awesome to hear you You'd be quite You'd be feeling sorry Yeah I think so

It would be that But then you'd just have to get over it Because we've got these kids You've only got this amount of time And none of us even know how much time We've got left do we No exactly Drink it while it's fizzy

As the Sprouse say Yeah Um Okay where would be a top location for you No You gotta eat food Oh my gosh So no more diets

Because you're a woman I'm sure you've been affected By a fucking diet culture You're eating whatever you want Oh absolutely Whatever you want. Are you with the kids or just your husband? I think the kids are coming.

You have to go to Disneyland, I guess. Yep, yep, Disneyland. Or do some rides, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it depends what you're into. Are you into beaches? Do you just want to relax for weeks on end at a beach?

I'm trying to think what's the most beautiful place I've ever been to. I mean, the Mediterranean, hands down, is the most beautiful place. It's expensive. Yeah, like Greek islands. But Sardinia is amazing. I'm got, I am there now. while you're listening to this podcast I'm in so, didn't you? It's incredible.

Oh, darling, anonymous. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Darling, you simply must come. I mean, it depends if you want the cult, if you want culture or beaches or what do you want. I mean, are you jumping out of planes? Are you going to do bungee jumps? Are you to do adventure stuff? I mean, South America's cheaper to travel to. It's beautiful. Like, Patagonia was incredible. Yeah. I would do everything I even wanted to do with my hair.

I don't know if you've lost your hair or not, but if you're, I mean, I don't know if you've lost your hair or not, but if you did, I'd wear like pink wigs and I'd have like any color I wanted. I'd get every tattoo I ever wanted, it was bad. I'd be like, great, how funny is this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'd buy, I'd buy nice clothes to live my last two lives, last two years in.

I'd probably have, I'd have orgies and shit, but I don't know you can have a chat with your husband about that. Yeah, that's discussion to you. If you're travelling with the kids, like, seeing the joy in their face would be. Yeah, exactly. It's a pretty intense time. for them.

Like making memories, yeah. The kids were 13 and nearly 16, so I could fully comprehend the situation in hand. I did like a family trip to L.A. with my whole family when me and my brother was 16 and 19 and it ruled, like, because we went to concerts, gigs, we went to the X games, we went to theme parks,

we ate food. Like, that was pretty cool. Doing that as a family. Yeah. God, that's awful. Oh, you've got to go to Bali bomb. We went as a tree. I'd love it.

Yeah, cheap. Barley's good. Go for a bit of barley. Like, if you were a family, could you go on one of those cruises that kind of like touches everywhere. Everywhere. Oh yeah maybe. It might be cheaper. There's so much shit for the kids

to do on the boat and stuff and you can have the little date nights. Yeah. Yeah. Just write a list. Write a list and start at it, I guess. Just start, yeah. Start with the things you want to do the most. And make time maybe I mean, I'm sure you love your kids, but make time for just a bit of fun. Just a bit of fun.

It doesn't have to be an orgy. I'm not suggesting she goes and an orgy. It felt like you were pushing the orgy again. I'm just saying. What do you want to do before you leave this mortal coil? I'm doing it all the time. Yeah, okay. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I'm sending you our love anyway. Yes, definitely, definitely. Do keep in touch with us. Abby from Auckland says, what's the funniest story a listeners ever told you? That's a hard one. Like on the calls we've ever had.

Shit, oh. I don't really remember them until... I don't know. Probably like cockroach up. the ass was pretty great. Yeah, I think the conch-up-the-bum story. Because we know the people. We know the people.

Dan with the mirror was pretty good. I mean, that's a thing. That's recency bias, though. I'm just thinking of something that's happened recently. I can't remember. There was once upon a time we were doing this segment many, many, many, many years ago. And it was if you could give you 16-year-old self, like one piece of advice, what it would it be? And this guy rung up, and he said, I just pop back in time, give myself a tap on the shoulder and just whisper,

Hey mate the balls don't go on the condom. Oh yeah. And the way he told the story was just so good. So beautifully told. That made me laugh a lot. I still think of that every now and then. We have the best call. That's the thing we get always so many great stories.

Yeah. It's hard to bake. There was a call from Caller, remember a few years back? He was presumed dead. His sisters told his parents he was dead and they just didn't never looked into it. Just were like, oh, that's a bugger. Why? Damn it.

Didn't look into it. Shit. And just didn't look into it. Are we having a funeral? Ah, we might have a memorial. A cup of tears, but no, fuck that guy. And then six months later, he pops up and they're like, we thought you were dead.

That was a pretty wild, yeah. I'm here. Just insane. Yeah, insane. There's been so many. And I'll tell you what, you could go back and find most of them. Wherever you listen to your podcast, scroll back as far as you can. Give it a listen.

That's actually it. That's all I got. Is it? That's all of it. That's all she wrote. Is that? Are we back tomorrow? Live on the radio.

We're back. Are you kidding? Fuck these holidays go so fast. We haven't been started. and it's over. We haven't even started the holidays. We've recorded this before the holidays and now our holidays are over.

This sucks. This sucks, man. We'll see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow and we'll be tanned Vaughn and you'll be all white from the snow. Yay. I think we're up the Eiffel Tower as we speak, Fletcher. That's beautiful.

Bonjour! That's me yelling down to Vaughan in the plebs.