ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 10th May 2023

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing, one cup at a time. Good morning, welcome to the show. Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley minus Hayley today, who's away again. Plus flooding. Plus flooding.

Yeah, great. It balances out. It balances out. More rain. Yeesh. Some rain. It balances out. More rain. Yeesh. Some rain. Oh, my gosh. I had to juggle where the animals all were yesterday because of the rain.

So now for those keeping score, the cows are in the calf shed. The calf is in the goat shed. The goats are in the pig shed, and the pigs are bunking down with the cows in the calf shed. It's The calf is in the goat shed. The goats are in the pig shed and the pigs are bunking down with the cows in the calf shed. It's a bit of a juggle. But everybody's dry. Everybody's warm. Everybody's got a roof over their head.

Which is great. Because Christ, I love it, right? Yeah, I'm just looking at the heavy rain warning. That expired 3am this morning for the Bay of Plenty. So there's been a lot of heavy rain there overnight,

but no other rain warnings this morning. There are, though, for the South Island, there are some heavy snow watches that are in place. Wednesday, 2 a.m. Thursday. Oh, yes, okay, so could be some snow today. Yeah, I heard there's going to be snow on the crowny. Yeah, it's going to turn cold.m. Thursday. Oh, yeah. Okay. So could be some snow today. Yeah, I heard there's going to be snow on the crowdy. Yeah, it's going to turn cold. Okay.

So we'll get some nice weather at the end of the week. Blue skies, but it'll be freezing cold. But it'll be colder but blue. Yeah. Okay. That's a trade-off I'm willing to make. All right. I'll keep you updated with that.

At least it's not raining. Yeah. The news throughout the morning on the show. Uh-huh. Coming up on the show, silly little poll. Yeah, so a bank has said, hey guys, we're actually going to be okay and not total drags about the fact

that if you apply for a mortgage and you've ever got Uber Eats or have a Netflix account, we're not going to be total nerds about it until you need to get rid of that. Oh, really? Wow. But I've got the top six things that your bank still don't want to see on your statement. Oh, that's in the top six.

I was talking about Silly Little Pole, also about banking. Oh, right. We're doing a double banker. We're doing a double. We're double banked this hour. Do you prefer internet or going into the branch? When's the last time anyone went into a bank? I went into a branch last week.

I just shut my account down and it was a really old account, so you can do it online. You can't do that online. No, because it was a really old account. It was that one I had since I was a child. Oh, no. Any monies? Pocket monies?

Yeah, there was pocket monies. It's not like one of those dream situations where you forget about a bank account you had when you were a kid and you go and it's accrued a million dollars interest. There's no way that would happen. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Next on the show, though, we love when this happens. Yeah.

New Zealand's been mentioned. I saw this and I thought it was AI. I was like, this is ridiculous. Why would we be mentioned? But we've made it to The Simpsons. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Episode 34. Sorry, season 34, episode 20. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley Episode 34 I'm sorry Season 34

Episode 20 The 748th episode Of The Simpsons overall Wow It aired on Monday night In the States I haven't watched it forever I haven't watched

Any of the new ones I can't believe It's still going Why is it still going? It's because it's still going Because it's been going For so long Imagine if they did

Cancel The Simpsons. Everybody would be like, oh, you can't do that. Would people miss it? I mean, there's 700 episodes to repeat. So the basic premise of this episode is when a plague of insects shut down Springfield, the Simpsons face their greatest challenge yet, spending time in lockdown with each other. Right. Maybe sort of like a tip of the hat to lockdowns. Because you know how long an episode of The Simpsons takes to turn around. Right. Maybe sort of like a tip of the hat to lockdowns

because you know how long an episode of The Simpsons takes to turn around. Yeah. Famously, a lot slower than South Park. I think they took the bus out of The Simpsons six times before The Simpsons realised. Yep. So Springfield Elementary School is remote learning via something called Chat Hippo.

After the school day ends, Principal Skinner leaves his webcam on and so Bart can spy on him. Oh, yeah, okay. And so Bart, during the learning, is linked to a gambling website and that's when this transpires. Try oddsmonster.crypto.

Don't mind if I do. Hmm. Ooh, New Zealand rugby. Whatever rugby is, Wellington sucks at it. Oh, ouch. Wellington? So when I saw it, I thought it was AI. You thought someone had just made it like a fan.

Yeah, had just AI'd it up. I don't know why the font looked weird. It was just weird seeing New Zealand rugby and Wellington and Auckland and really outrageous odds. And yeah, it was on telly. And it was real. And they've shown

some Wellington rugby players. They're not happy about it. It was already so there. It was like, aren't we the current champs? Yeah, hello. Yeah. But obviously they looked into

the history, who plays it and two names of cities and then that was that. Yeah. But everybody liked it. That's cool. Well, we love when that was that. Yeah. But everybody liked it. That's cool. Well, we love when we get mentioned.

Yeah, we love a mention. I love when you're watching it. I always remember when we were kids and we got a mention on Full House. Yeah. Someone got on the wrong flight. They were supposed to be flying to Oakland, except they got on the flight to Auckland. Yeah, I love it.

I don't know why, like, even now, even as a grown adult, when they're, like, in a TV adult When they're like In a TV show They're like So and so Oh they've moved to New Zealand Yeah That's us Oh that was in Breaking Bad

Remember Jesse Brinkman wanted to move to New Zealand That's right Yeah I love it We all love it We get a little bit excited Don't we

Yeah So small and down the bottom I just Instead of going Times New Zealand was mentioned I was going to be like TV shows or movies Times New Zealand was mentioned In the Bible Oh okay I never got TV shows or movies, Times New Zealand was mentioned in the Bible.

Oh, okay. I never got a shout out in the Bible. I don't think we did. I don't think we did either. It all happened literally on the other side of the world from here. Unless it was added retrospectively. It could have been. A little add-on.

And then Jesus took a lovely three-month backpacking tour of New Zealand. Really found himself. Oh, didn't he? Really loved Queenstown too. But is suspected to have taken a poop on the side of the road when he was caught short. Freedom campers. He was a freedom camper.

He was. Yeah, he was. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little poe.

Silly little poe. Silly little poe. Silly little pole, what's your favourite way to bank? In person or online? Well, nobody likes going into the bank unless you're like 80, right? Because you don't know how internet banking works. Or if you've got a big collection of coins and you're taking them and have you seen the machine? You just pour the coins into the machine and it sorts it and stuff.

It just knows. It goes, ba-da-da-ding, ba-da-da-ding, ba-da-ding. It's like a reverse slot machine. Ba-da-ding, da-ding, da-ding, da-ding, da-ding. So Little Paul, what's your favourite way to bank? 5% of people said in person

and an overwhelming 95% of people said online. Can you get a new card by calling them up, like an EF postcard? Because that's the last time I went to a bank because the swipe had worn off. I think you can just order those through the app now. Can you? Yeah, because in my bank, I can't speak for all of the banks, but you can go cards and it'll show you all your cards and you can go, I lost this one, replacement needed.

And they send it to you yeah I went into the bank because I thought my charm my charm and cuteness and flirting would avoid me the $15 replacement card for you

whatever they charge and I didn't have to pay oh I don't I haven't paid that I think you do if you lose it and you've recently been given one

but if it's been years so that's a naughty telling off. Yeah, but if it's been years, they replace it because it has worn out. So maybe it wasn't my cuteness. Maybe it's just been past the two years. Oh, look, that's a new button. Let us know before you travel.

That's good because being overseas when they cut your cards off kind of sucks. Yeah, I've had that happen. Kind of sucks, guys. You're like, why don't my cards work? And your bank's like, we thought you were someone overseas spending money.

I was like, I am. And then you're like, oh no, my card was stolen. Can you refund that money? By the way, I'm there. I think that's called theft. Oh, is it? Yeah, it's called fraud, actually.

Hannah says, the bank and I are on different schedules. Yep. The hours that the bank's open has changed dramatically, but the internet's always there. Michelle says, the bank and I are on different schedules. Yep. The hours that the bank's open has changed dramatically, but the internet's always there. Michelle says, I don't like people. Online is best.

Yeah. Quite short. And when you do get into a bank, the lines are always massive because it's people that need things sorted. Yeah. Or it's a business that's dropping off the daily take. Or it's an old person that can't hear.

Yeah. Online banking, says Benny, but still use ATMs for marketplace, markets, and a cash dash. Oh, yeah. A cash dash. ATMs are different because you're talking to a wall, aren't you? You're not going to the actual shop. The shop? The bank.

The branch. Who the hell wants to talk to people online all the way, baby, says Renee. Hannah says, in- person takes way too long. We also asked, when was the last time you went into a physical bank? I actually go into a physical bank often to get coins for the laundry. Oh, okay. Don't you just go into a dairy and annoy them by saying, here's $10, can I have this in $2? They love that. Also, laundries, a lot can I have this in $2? They love that.

Also, laundries, a lot of them have the coin changer. Yeah, they do. You feed the no-no and it goes, eh, no, eh, no, eh, no, eh. Okay, this time. Maybe their laundry doesn't, but a lot actually have EFTPOS now anyway. Yeah. So you swipe your card. Or they give you the little coins.

Yeah. And then you can't change the coins back and you've done all your washing and you've still got coins left over. Like stripping money. Yeah. Except you're not going to get in trouble if your partner finds laundry tokens in your wallet. Because you didn't spend any. Maybe

like showies and stuff. Calendar girls need to go in with the laundry token people. That's a good idea. So that you could use your leftovers at the laundromat. Would they have the same value? Because you would have to have an absolute bag of coins to get anything done.

Well, I think one wash cycle should be a lappy. That's wild. That's wild. Is that not enough? That's a terrible exchange rate. I don't know how much lap dancers are. Well, it's more than a $2 wash. Okay, a wash and a dry.

$6. Yeah, that seems fair. Is that how much they cost? They're working professionals. Jesus Christ. How do you know that, Jared? Producer Jared, how do you know that? How do you know that, Producer Jared?

I've been to Stag Do's before. $250. Do you know how many laundry cycles that is? That's a lot. I almost fell off my chair. Well, that's $100 at $2.50 per short wash in one of the little machines. We're in the wrong industry. Yep.

Yeah. Wow. I mean, it's not for everybody. Do you think I'm worth $2.50? Yeah, no, I was going to say. No. You've got the legs for it. No, thanks.

Thank you, Producer Jared. Thank you. We had another message in on that, how long has it been since you went to a fiscal bank. Six months ago after I won big on the pokies, I didn't want to walk around with a couple of thousand dollars.

Oh, a couple of thousand. Straight deposit, immediate deposit. Brooke says, last time I went to a bank was before we knew what COVID was.

Yeah. It's been a long time. Yeah. My current bank is online only. Okay. So five years ago. Wow.

Two weeks ago, I set up bank accounts for my kids. I had an appointment. I had to book an appointment to go into the bank to do that, and it was a three-week wait. Because you've got to show ID with accounts now, so you can't money launder.

So they've got to check your ID, all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What is it? They're very particular about that. Yeah, money laundering. I'm also kind of flattered that they think I'd be capable of it. Yeah, sure.

Because you see the bad guys on the, even the smart ones always get caught on the TVs and movies, money laundering. Well, you just wait until I start my laundromat and team up with showgirls. This sounds like a money laundering 101. It does, yeah. Huge.

And that's today's Silly Little Pop. Play it. ZM's F's Silly Little Pop. Well, our fans flocked to the social media of David Annenborough, Sir David Annenborough I should say. I thought he turned it off. I thought he got a social media and then did a couple of things and then was just like, you guys suck. I don't know if they flocked to his

or just to pages. Oh, just to social media in general. Maybe the BBC had posted something, but people going crazy in general. Maybe the BBC had posted something. But people going crazy online because yesterday in the UK, he turned 97. Wow. 97. Yeah, because he was the same age as the Queen, wasn't he? Yeah, he's been on television since the 50s.

I saw a picture of him when he was younger with his shirt off. People were going crazy. What of? First trap. No shirt on. David Attenborough topless as a younger fellow. People were like, daddy sort of things. He would have seen some stuff, eh?

Yep. Glaciers. He would have seen the glaciers pre-melting. Yeah, I reckon he's seen his fair share of penguins. More penguins than any man should really ever need to see. And then, of course, we easily brush over the fact that they faked a lot of scenes in his later years, didn't they? They faked some of the doco footage. Remember that?

Yes. Weren't they filming some seals or penguins or polar bears at a zoo and making out it was in the wild? Do you remember that? Yeah, inside, that's right. They made it look like an ice cavern for the polar bears, but it wasn't. It was the zoo.

That's right. Let's not focus on the negative. Even though, you know, in the scheme of things, that's far from the worst thing people have done. Yeah. But, yeah, still with us. It's going to be a sad day. I don't want to say it, but it's going to be a sad day when he passes.

Yeah. What do you reckon he wants done with his body? What's the most? Fed to safari animals. Really? Circle of life. Full thing. Yeah, he wants to be pushed off the back of a Toyota Ute.

Yep. And fed to the wild. I was thinking he'd be an absolute sitter for one of those cremated and then put in one of those things with a tree seed and then the seed grows. Oh, yeah, or shot. And then that's the David Attenborough tree. Or like shot off into space or planted on the moon or something.

Well, he famously loves the earth. I don't think he's ever been to the moon. He's never talked about how we've got to behave better. Keep an eye on it. You can keep an eye on it from up above. Too far away. When you get old, your eyes go a little bit. That's too far away.

I reckon he'd be absolutely, yeah, sitter for a tree. Yeah. No, you're right. I think you're right. And then you can never touch the tree. Yeah, but then global warming is going to get the trees and it'll flush it away. Or we'll put it somewhere a bit elevated, but not too steep.

Okay. I'll find a spot. Kind of like in one of those big atriums of a hotel. He does not want to be in an atrium of a hotel. He wants to be out. He wants to be in an atrium hotel tree. He wants to feel the wind beneath his leaves. Well, look, that's for another time.

Pretty cracking. Yeah, talk too much about that Good on him Well hello there Some banks Have apparently said You know what we were being dicks. Now, banks don't say that often. But some banks have been a bit cool.

They're jets about things that appear on your statements when you're applying for a home loan or a mortgage. So things like Netflix subscriptions, streaming, fast food, drinking, they said that those were luxury items and things that

unnecessary spending. See, like, to me, like, wouldn't you rather someone had Netflix and then they'd watch Netflix and not go out to the movies or to bars? Like, wouldn't that be... That would be a cheaper option. You've got to have something, right? It would be cheaper. So they've relaxed a little bit. Apparently

some people can get delivery food cheaper than they can get their own groceries now. I saw a guy online yesterday, he's like, I've worked this out, and he went to... It was in America, but I'm sure you could do it here, like a fast food outlet and got a catering kit.

Like I'm catering for a party. Yeah. And they did him one up. And then he went home and made it all and froze it all and was like, that's the cheapest way to eat now. Really? He's like, because I get home from work and I'm not like, I don't have a ton of time.

Yeah. And now I just get this out in the morning, the frosts. And then when I get home, I like heat it and ta-da. Wow. Done. So I was like, that's smart. That's thinking smarter. Are banks chilling out on the, when your friends transfer you money and they write a silly thing in the...

Ah, no word if they're chilling out on that. Because that's still funny. Yeah, it is. Top six things your bank still don't want to see on your bank statements is today's top six. And number six is OnlyFans.

Yeah. Are outgoings. Still A-OK with OnlyFans incoming. Yeah. They'd love to have your money. They would, yeah. They'd really love to.

But they don't want to give a home loan to people that are paying to see your bits. Yeah, no. Your sexy poses. Knickers. Number five on the list of the top six things your bank still don't want to see your bits. Yeah, no. Your sexy poses and knickers. Number five on the list of the top six things your bank still don't want to see on your bank statements

are that you're betting on the Warriors. Oh, yeah, okay. No offence, it's the refs' fault. It is, yeah, it's the refs' fault. There's no way they can win this year, is there? Nah, because the refs are against us. Yeah, it's the refs. This was going to be our year.

Yeah. But we've got some real refs out there. See the big dog of one that used to be Vodafone. Formerly Vodafone. That sponsored the Warriors now. He had a go. He did, yeah. And then some Australian lawyer apparently said to the ref,

if you want to sue him for defamation, you totally could. Wow. Crazy, eh? But those refs, man. Those refs, man. Dumb idiots. Yeah, I don't, actually, I love the refs. I don't want to be sued for defamation. I think they're doing a great job. I'm just saying refs on a whole.

Oh, right, every, but so you want every ref to sue you for defamation. Nah, because it's not specific to one ref. Okay, right. Number four on the list of the top six things your bank still don't want on your bank statements are cash being withdrawn in amounts of $20. They know what you're doing. They know what you're doing. They know what you're doing. Number three on the list of the top six things your bank still don't want on your bank

statements are that you're washing your car at one of those car places where you just keep pumping the coins in because 60 seconds isn't long enough. It's not long enough. And then you'll be like, it's only another 60 seconds and you'll almost be done. So then you've got to go spend that $6. And then at the end of it, you've got to go up and press the button to change it to a different mode. And you're losing a lot of time. It's an expensive way to wash your car is what I'm saying. They actually should put some grandstand seating in. Because it's quite entertaining watching people trying to wash their cars.

Fly around their cars. Yeah, yeah. Jump back, press the button. Yeah. And then you forgot to do the back window up entirely, so you've got to jump in, turn the key on, do that up, get out, get going. Number two on the list of the top six things your bank still don't want to see on your bank statements,

that you're getting $80 rounds of drinks for your mates, but you've also got mates that disappear before it's their time to buy their $80 round of drinks. Oh, yeah, I hate when that happens at a bar. Yeah. Because you're like, I don't want to be here for like seven rounds or whatever. Right, you just want one round. However many friends.

I'm out of the round early. Yeah. And number one on the list of today's top six things your bank still don't want to send you bank statements. Anything that ever,

ever is associated with the words aneen and bing. How many of those come up when you, it's more the retailer though, isn't it? It's the retailer,

but you know. Yeah, you know. You know. You know. You know that's today's upsets. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. An Australian woman survived five days in the bush on

wine and lollies. Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah. Well, five days. What a sippin good Maybe half a day, day trip She was on her way to see her mum Right And she had a crash

And she got lost Apparently 60 kilometres from the nearest town Blanket, lollies, box of wine Wait, so she was on Was this like a road road? Or was it like the outback road where There's not really a road Well, I mean there was a road Because she was on, was this like a road road or was it like the outback road where there's not really a road? Well, I mean, there was a road because she was driving a car. Huh.

So. How do you get lost? Yeah, she said. Just wandered off. Yeah. Then you'd think you could wave somebody down over five days. Yeah. Or walk back along the road.

Yeah. Or anyway, she was in absolutely not the mood for any of that. Right. So she had, yeah, no lollies, but she also doesn't drink. So she. Oh, so she had to drink. She had to drink. Oh.

Imagine if you were like proud of your sobriety. Well. And you just like lost. It doesn't say if she doesn't drink by choice or she doesn't drink because it was once a problem for her. Oh. Yeah. That would be gutting. You're like, well, I guess I've got to say if she doesn't drink by choice or she doesn't drink because it was once a problem for her. Oh, that would be gutting. You're like, well, I guess I've got to stay alive.

Yeah. So, yep, she was rescued and they said, what was the trick? And she said, a bottle of wine, a box of wine. Does it say that? So a cask wine is what I'm essentially picking up from this. So not a good wine. Does it say the type? Chardonnay?

Oh, country. Country red? White, dry white, medium house, white You know one of those ones that doesn't have a name because it's just like a blended mix of everything. Also a pillow though as well if you blow that up. Yeah but that means you've got to finish it. Oh no I suppose

you could start using it as soon as you've opened it. Could you blow it up with wine in there? You definitely can because when we were kids we'd do that. You'd blow it up and then you'd you'd open it in your mouth to put a bit more pressure and it would blow wine gas into your mouth and you'd be like, whoa. A little bit of a buzz.

Does it say what kind of lollies? Nah, it doesn't. Just a couple of snacks and lollies. But five days. Because it was road trips. I don't want to guess her age, but I'd say she'd be in her 50s. Right. I don't know if I could age, but I'd say she'd be in her 50s. Right. So I don't know if I could ration myself

because I'd be like, well, surely someone's coming to rescue me today. And then I'd just drink it and eat them all. One more lolly, one more lolly, one more lolly, one more lolly. And then it's been two hours. Into my five days. You're out of any reserves.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. We've talked about this, the trend quiet quitting at the workplace where you just do the bare minimum well officers have tried to come up with a cure or something to fix this and some people are calling this toxic as well

so the trend is loud leaving so the idea of loud leaving is it's when a manager will stand up at five o'clock when the workday finishes and be like, everybody, put your tools down. Tools down.

Tools down. Go home to your loved ones. Yeah. What a great workplace we are. We insist you leave at five. Don't finish that email. Don't finish that project. Walk away from it. Put it down, Gareth. And that's

the idea is that, you know, they want you to go home so you're not stuck at work. But then some people are saying, well, that doesn't suit everybody and it's toxic because some people like maybe to work later and come in to the office later. Come in later, work a little bit later, dodge the traffic.

Yeah, they have flexible hours. Yeah, gotcha. But I don't know, you're not going to... Well, so a workplace tried and people found fault with it. Gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. They tried. Everybody go home. I mean, that's better than...

You want to work less. That's better than them expecting you to work till like six or seven, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And work overtime. I don't think it's... Would you say it's toxic? But they also might be trying to save themselves on overtime because workplaces might do work till five, nine to five,

and then it's overtime and they're like, well, we don't want to have to pay overtime. I don't think that at all. I don't think most places do overtime. They just expect you to get to work. Really? Yeah. I was told this workplace was like,

you've got to stop staying here so long. Oh, because you, right. Yeah, yeah, you clock in, you clock out. Huh, okay. Well, yeah, people are upset because it's the notion of getting permission to go and live your life or be with family at a prescribed time doesn't feel good. I don't.

So they want it, but now they're being told to do it, they don't want to be told to do it. Yeah. Look, I don't know. Humans are pretty great. Millennials? Zillennials? GNZ? Would you like to be told to go home at a certain hour or that doesn't work? No, people tell us that all the time. They're like

oh, why are you still here? Because there's work to be done. Yeah. But they're like oh, you get in so early, go home. Oh, but if I go home, I'm still going to do the work to be done yeah but they're like oh you get in so early go home oh but if I go home I'm still going to do the work you're going to have to do the work yeah I'll get it done

so that home is a work free space yeah but do you how would you feel if you had a 9 to 5 office job and they said leave now it's 5 leave leave

well if I if that meant that I had no no strings I'd do it just go home but then at the end of the week they're like you haven't got

all of your jobs done and we we you know we don't want to hire somebody else but we also don't want you to work anymore

just cram it in cram it in why aren't you stressed cram it in you can't win can you no there's no winning I think you've just

forgot about humanity there's no winning there's no winning there's no pleasing as long as we're involved yeah out humanity. There's no winning. There's no winning. There's no pleasing. As long as we're involved. Yeah. Coming up on the show, we've got your chance to win

thanks to Disney's The Little Mermaid. Which, by the way, first reviews are saying best Disney remake yet. Really? Okay. Super romantic and beautiful.

Well, we've got your chance to get to the Australian premiere May 22nd. We're going to submerge a ZM artist into the water. You've got to work out not the song they're playing, just the artist. We'll do that soon for your chance to get in the draw to get to Australia

and win tickets to see the movie as well. But next on the show. Speaking of as we were about there's no winning with humans. We're entrusting another thing to AI. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We had to talk about dating apps, but I just remembered I saw a billboard for one on the way to work And I had to google it

To see what it was HUD Number one hookup And casual dating app Oh okay I hear billboard advertising Old school huh Old school

It's a casual dating app With over 10 million users worldwide There's no pressure to find Like minded friends dates Or Just a little excitement Or just Isn't that what Tinder is

So it's just hookups Like that's just what Tinder that what Tinder is? That's just hookups. Like that's just what Tinder is anyway. Oh, it's been around for ages. Okay. It actually stands for honest upfront dating. Oh, it doesn't stand for hookup dating. Not hookup dating. Hmm.

Liar. But honest upfront dating is... You being honest about what you want to do. Yeah, yeah. Okay. There's that app. I hadn't heard of that. This is a different app powered by AI.

Oh, okay. Yeah. It's called Teaser AI. It's not trying to hide the fact that AI is involved. Basically, this is its differences. It has AI matchmaking. So when you log on and you put in your interests and stuff,

the AI algorithm matches users based on their interests, personality traits and other factors, providing more accurate matches. Okay. I didn't even know we would have needed AI to do that. It's just like if your interest was cats and somebody else said cats,

the algorithm would be like cats. Yeah. That's cats. With the cat people in a corner. For that to work, you've really got to say everything you like, right? I guess so. Or it learns when you're going through profiles what you liked about that person's profile, perhaps. How hot they were?

There's also video profiles. Users can create short video clips to showcase their personality and interests, which are then analysed by the app's AI algorithm to provide more accurate matches. This is going to, like, listen to how you speak and what you say. Maybe. Okay.

Ice breakers. The teaser AI will provide users with a variety of ice breaker prompts to help conversations with matches. So you're going to... So it could be, like, ask them about their cat. Or it could just provide you With a question With the

But then like You're having this conversation With someone And they're like I really like this person's chat And it's not even them And then you go on a date with them And they can't even

String together a sentence Because they've become Too reliant on AI's algorithm To do all the hard work for them So it's got safety features So you can like You have to Verify your identity,

which is good. I think that's a very good. Yeah, totally. Do dating apps do that? Yeah, most of them. You have to put in a bit of proof? Yeah, or take a picture

of your face and they'll match it to your photos. Right. Yeah. Okay. So, oh, like a live picture. It's like,

photograph yourself within the next 30 seconds. Would it recognise if you took a photograph of a photograph, say if you were catfishing somebody? Oh, I don't know. Maybe.

I think it's done. I don't know if that's done by AI. I just think. You'd be, should be using like an official form of ID, right? Because everybody over 18 would have an 18 plus card. Yeah, maybe. Or a passport or a driver's licence or something. That'd certainly maybe curb some behaviours.

I think so. I think that would be a wise move. And then you people, oh, but people might not go on it. It's like, yeah, but who? Yeah, it's not a bad thing. Yeah. So it's got safety features. User-appointed to help ensure.

So if you have a bad experience with somebody on there, you can flag that as a thing. And yeah, it'll use the AI. And then after you, if you meet up with someone, it might ask you a series of questions and then... Learn from it? Learn from that and shape your experience more. Interesting.

Do we want this? Again, another AI thing we don't need. Another AI thing we don't need and arguably another dating app we don't need. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. AI thing we don't need, and arguably another dating app we don't need. Well, yesterday after work on the drive home, boy, oh boy, she was raining. Yeah, a lot of rain for Auckland. Horrible. Again, and Northland.

Northland, Auckland, Coromandel, all the spots that got hit last time, and then they kind of showed it wasn't going to hit Hawke's Bay. Bit of rain overnight, Bay of Plenty, but yeah. I think it was like the majority of it was they were calling them

60 millimeter rain bands. Okay. Where they were washing through and just dropping 60 mils of rain and then keeping moving. But some places are getting 100 mils

in like an hour. Classic Coromandel situation there. It hits those high hills and just absolutely drops itself. So Auckland, prepared this time. Yeah. Well. Ish.

Lots of roadside culverts not. Essential parts for water to flow and not go over the road. They're clogged up. They're blocked again because it's autumn and there's a whole lot of junk falling off trees and it gets. Yeah. They get blocked again because it's autumn and there's a whole lot of junk falling off trees and they get blocked again. A civil defence emergency though, for those who are missing those, remember those from COVID lockdown days?

Yeah. Civil defence flood warning, heavy rain and thunderstorms are affecting the Auckland region and expect to continue into the evening, potentially through to midnight tonight. It did slow down a bit. Yeah, I got that. And that really bad late in the afternoon one wasn't as bad as the earlier in the day one. Which is fortunate. Now, I was at the gym when I got this

and my watch just vibrated and it didn't stop. It just kept going. I was like... But, you know, that's what you want. You want it to alert you. You want it to alert you. But you could hear it ring around like... Yeah, everybody's phone is going off.

Well, in the gym at that exact moment, somebody in the gym was showing somebody else how to do something but needed both their hands, so they put their phone between their legs. This is like a trainer or something. Okay. No, no, it wasn't a trainer. It was just someone at the gym. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Who was at the gym, but she was just showing her friend what to do. Oh, okay, right, right. And you know when you need, you've got no pockets. Yeah. You've got your phone and you're like, oh, I need both my hands. And so you put things between your legs and you show. Oh, yeah, I always do that, yeah. Well, at that exact moment was when it went off.

And God, it gave her the fright of her life. Ah, my phone's between my legs. And then she realised she'd yelled it. And everyone kind of like, look. Humorous takeaway from the serious noise. Yes, yeah. And then she realised she'd yelled it and everyone kind of like, look, humorous takeaway from the serious noise. Yes, yeah. And then she ran and hid. Because she'd screamed it out to everybody.

Because that was a long vibration. Yeah. Well, it goes until you... Yeah, because I didn't know that it goes until you turn it off. It goes until you hit it. Yeah, because I was like, when's it stopping? To ensure that you see it. Yeah, I was like, when's it stopping?

And I was looking at my phone and my watch and then I was like, it's it stopping? Yeah, I was like, when's it stopping? And I was looking at my phone and my watch, and then I was like, it's not stopping, so I flicked it away. I've never seen it on the watch. I had a watch on, but I had my phone in my hand too. It just had that little logo and said it's like a preview for a message. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Wild. Well. So she died. She hid. Yeah. Because it was a bit much. After she alluded everybody to it. Yeah. Because it was a bit much. After she alluded everybody to it. Yeah.

But that's fine. At least she knows she was alluded to. Yeah, that's not something you can make happen when you want it to. No. Well, you can, but not with a phone. Apple could be missing a trick here. Yeah. Hmm.

Could branch out into a... Hmm. Yeah. I mean, there's got to be an app. There's got to be an app. There's got to be an app. And if there's not, let's get onto that app. Let's get onto that app. So, yeah, just...

Yeah. Forewarning. Watch where you put your phone. Watch where you put your phone. Yeah. I guess that's the warning. That's the lesson to be learned. Next on the show,

want to try an impossible phone-in topic? Because somebody has left a heck of a lot of money to an animal, to their pet, when they died. The old, when did the animal make the will? Surely not. I'd just get it tied up in the court of law until the animal died because we're out of animals. And then take it all.

Yeah. Play. ZDM's Flet the impossible phone-in topic. A topic that we think is so impossible we won't get any calls for. But... I don't know, maybe because this involves... It happens, but we don't really get calls. This involves animals.

And this has resurfaced because of the Met Gala. It happens, but whether or not we get calls. This involves animals. And this has resurfaced because of the Met Gala. Because Jared Leto went as Karl Lagerfeld's cat. Ship it. Ship it. Yeah. And I think Doja Cat also went as his cat. Why she went as our cat?

Our cat. Which would... Yeah, okay. And so he died in 2019 at the age of 85, and he left the cat $1.5 million. Right. That's US figures, too, so that's... Well, the cat did have a lot of gambling debts and really wanted to kickstart its business in real estate, so...

And so reading this story is fascinating. I wondered if this is even possible here because in France, pets are treated as property and cannot inherit. And that's why they're classed as property because property can't inherit. That's what somebody messaged in.

Really? They sell life insurance and they asked her who her beneficiaries would be and she said her dogs. And we had to say to her, I'm sorry, we can't do it. So that's the same here in New Zealand then? Yeah.

Legally? Yeah, it must be. Okay, well. Because you can leave it to someone to look after, like the person who's going to care for the pets. That's what they're saying here. He would have left the money to a caretaker, a foundation, or a non-profit with stipulations that that money has to be used on the cat.

Right. Because this was insurance, so maybe insurance is different to will and testament. or a non-profit with stipulations that that money has to be used on the cat. Right. Because this was insurance, so maybe insurance is different to will and testament. Yeah, so if there are any lawyers listening or anyone that knows, but this is a question I want to ask. Does anybody know anyone who has left money for a pet in their will?

Like when they died, did money go to the cat? Or the dog? Or to someone with the instructions? But they don't have children and they didn't have anybody else and they were just like live their life. Why not? Oh my god, is this gonna

be me? Am I leaving everything to Major Murray Fluffington? Yeah. I don't want to wish ill on Major Murray Fluffington. Yeah. But I think you might outlive him. Well, we hope so. Yeah, yeah.

But then I'll get a new cat. Right. So I'll just update the cat every well. Yeah, right. Admiral, Admiral. Admiral Puss in Boots. Admiral Craig Purrington. Yes.

That's a great name for a cat, actually. Maybe my next cat will be Craig Purrington. Is Major above Admiral? I think so. Captain. Lieutenant? No, Lieutenant's down. Lieutenant Craig Purrington.

Yeah, highest military rank. It's a great name for a cat. Is there anybody listening? And this could be the impossible phone-in topic because maybe New Zealanders just don't do this. But do you know of anyone that's left money to a pet, either whether or not you're allowed to legally do that or it was left to someone to spend on the pet?

Is that possible here in New Zealand? To look after the pet. 0800 DARS at M is the number. You can text as well, 9696. Do you know of somebody that's left money to a pet? Give us a call. The impossible phone-in topic, and this story has resurfaced after the Met Gala,

the story of Karl Lagerfeld, who left $1.5 million to his cat. And we're asking now for the impossible phone-in topic. Do you know anyone that's left money to a pet in New Zealand? We have heard pets are considered chattels, like relationship property. So if you break up with one person, if you break up,

one person needs to take ownership. So you'd be like, you take the fridge, I'll take the cat. No, you can, no, you cheated on me,

you can have half the cat. Half that cat's mine. I don't want half that cat. Half that cat's mine. You have that cat. I'll take the fridge. Or yeah, if you've cheated on someone,

I guess you lose a bit of bargaining power in the chattels dispersion. So you couldn't leave legally. Yeah, chattels cannot be left money. It'd be like leaving money to your car. Oh, okay. Yeah, right.

It's treated like an object as well here in New Zealand. But you can leave money to its care. So you would leave it to a friend to care for the cat. Correct. But then how do I know that my friend isn't going to take the money I've left for the cat and put the cat down? Well, that's why you have to trust them. That's up to you. Sarah, do you know someone that's left money to a pet?

Yeah, I do, actually. With us. Oh, really? So what happened? So we had, first of all, long-time listener, first-time caller. Oh, where's the bell? Where's the bell? Yay!

Welcome, Sarah, welcome. Welcome. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, so the story goes, this was like early 90s from memory. And we were a kid, I was a kid, and our over-the-road neighbour, he passed away and he had this beautiful cat called Kit Kat. And

yeah, when he passed away, there was money left in his will for the care of Kit Kat. How much money did he leave? Do you remember? I don't remember. I was a kid. Right. But yeah, there was definitely money left for the cat. Wow. And that's the thing people say, oh, it's in the thousands, but you could spend that on a cat easy, a couple of vet visits.

Yeah. You know, that stuff that you put on the back of their neck. Do you remember? Worm and flea treatments, that all adds up. Feeding them. The odd vet bill. Do you remember if mum and dad took you to the Goldie soon after that happened? Nah.

No, they didn't. Nah. I remember the cat liked to hide under their bed because it was scared. Oh, okay. Come on out, cat. We've got money. Well, we are getting more texts and calls, so we'll get to those next for the impossible phone.

A pet should have been left money. It's not impossible. The impossible phone and topic. Do you know someone that's left money to a pet? Like the cat or the dog? Yes. The story of Karl Lagerfeld doing this has resurfaced because Jared Leto and a bunch of people went as cats to Met Gala.

Yeah. And he left his cat $1.5 million US dollars. But it turns out you leave it in a trust and you appoint a person in charge of the trust and the trust looks after the cat. And I imagine there's instructions like, he really loves the jelly meat. The jelly meat.

He loves the tuna and shark. Do you know what I want to invent? Speaking of jelly meat, we get the jelly meat in the little sachets. Oh, wasteful. Wasteful. Wasteful. You are preaching to the choir.

I just do dry bickies. So we do dry bies And a jimbos Yep And then in the morning I think personally I think we're feeding our cats too much Yeah But I'm a

I'm a lone ranger When I'm saying We're feeding these cats too much Yeah But if it stops them Trying to eat the native birds That's fine But then

The sachets are so hard To get everything out of My finger scissors the top And squeeze down. Oh, yeah. But then I get the residual. You need to go to a tin. I'm inventing.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Until we grow up, getting that out of the big tin, that was even worse. Because at the end of the big tin, you've got to get the spoon in the end. And you get the meat on your knuckles. And then those would be the same spoons you wash and then you used to eat dessert. 100%. Yuck. Yuck.

That's yuck. Would you have a specific jelly meat spoon? No, they were the same spoon. Could you use that thing that they invent for the tubes of toothpaste? You clip it on the end and you just run it down? But those things are just for the width of toothpaste, not for the... Yeah, but fold it in like thirds or half.

Yeah, that could work. I was just thinking of inventing a brand new way to hold cat food. Just get dry biscuits. It's fine. Dry biscuits? How would you feel if you could eat nothing but dry pasta? Dry biscuits. Ask my cat.

He doesn't seem to mind. He loves it. Variety's the spice of life. Megan, good morning. He doesn't know any better. He doesn't. Good morning. Now, do you know somebody that's left money?

Yeah, me. What? Really? But you're still alive's left money? Yeah, me. What? Really? But you're still alive, Megan. I am still alive. So have you made a will? Yeah, so my partner and I made our wills together. We both left.

I actually can't remember if it was 10K each or it was 10K together, but we've left that to the person that adopts our two cats together. Oh, my. But did you specify a person or a friend, or it'll just be anyone that takes the cat? No, it's anyone that takes the cat is sort of a motivation for someone to adopt them both. I don't know.

It'll be at the will reading, and your family's there, and they're like, and Megan stipulates here there's $10,000 for the person that wants it, and everyone's like, me! And they're like, who will also adopt both of their cats? Everyone's like, me! Yeah, exactly. I told my co-worker about it, and she's like, absolutely came.

Really? She's came. Oh, that's cool. So you've got someone that can do it. But do you, you don't, you really trust her, though? Because you don't want them shipping the cat off to the SPCA and taking the $10,000. Yeah, I know.

It's a bit of a risk. We did also specify our wishes around what they would be fed, but I don't think she's going to follow that. What do you want them to be fed? What do you feed your cats? Royal Canin. Oh, okay. Oh, must be nice.

Yeah. That's what muzz is. Oh, okay. Must be nice. Okay, we're going to go with a high-end pusses in the house. I tell you what, since the pandemic, that cat food has gone up like a lot. Really? Yeah.

Wow. I'm thinking about letting him free in the park to feed on some keriru just to keep the price down. He wouldn't know how because you've spoiled him. He's never hunted. He's too fat to get up a tree. It's not happening. Well, ours are indoor cats too. What breed are your cats, Megan?

I couldn't be sure. Just random mixed rescues. Mongrels, plastic bags. Mine's a rescue cat too. From the breeder. I've told this story. Would we call that rescue? Yeah, no, because the breeder had it captive.

Have you seen how horrible breeders are? I had to pay a ransom price and she released the cat. Oh, you set it free. Yes, I was trying to negotiate its release, but Fletch was just like, pay them what they want. Yeah. Megan, thank you. Some messages. They're not the only one.

People leaving money to the pets. We're a worker lady left. By the way, can I just say how Megan just laughed and made me feel very good. I think we should. She's gone. She laughed in a conversation. She was like, ha, ha, ha. She's gone.

And then she says, I want to give her a call over the week. Yeah, can you get her back? Let's give her the caller of the week. She's won a $50 McCafe voucher thanks to our mates at McCafe. Yeah. That's lovely. She's a cat person. She's paying a fortune for Royal Canine Pet Food,

which I always thought was Royal Canine, and I thought it was for dogs only. Canine. I think I just said Canine. Canine, yeah. Maybe it's for things with canine teeth. I don't know if cats have those. It was a guess.

My grandmother was instructed one of my aunties to live in her house until the last of her eight cats died. Ten years later, the last one died and they were finally able to sell the house. No, I'm sorry, but you can sell the house and that's ridiculous. Says the guy who feeds his cat, Royal Canin. No, she's a crazy cat lady with eight cats.

Yeah, okay, that's the pot calling the kettle black. You're one eighth of the way there. I have one at the moment. There was a stipulation in our family trust after my grandmother died for allocation of funds to be used for the care of her diabetic dog. Okay. Which type diabetes? That is a very good question.

Can animals get type 2 diabetes? Yes, they can. Yes, they can. Because we've been told. Because of the chocolates. When the cats got too fat, we were told. Really?

That it can adversely affect their joints and I'm pretty sure they could. Oh, wow. My friend adopted a corgi from being put down as the elderly owner had been taken away

and the corgi was a little unwell. Yeah. 18 months later, a lawyer got in touch and said there's a $45,000 account to pay out as caretaker expenses. What? All I can say is that dog loved her weekly hydrotherapy. What?

Hydrotherapy? Hydrotherapy is where they swim because it's easy on the joints. No, it's good for recovery. It's good for the arthritis. And we've done that to the corgis. Yeah. Yeah, we had that self-help. That's corgis on the list of dogs that we humans have ruined.

Yeah. I just saw a picture of a wolf drinking out of a river. And this wolf was massive. Yeah. And all I could think, every time I see a wild dog, wolf, I always look at it and I'll be like, we did you bad, dog. We did you wrong.

Play ZM's Fletch for the Nelly. Play ZM. If you weren't listening to the show on Monday, I said that at the wedding we went to on the weekend, I was dismounting the bus. Exiting the bus? Sounds like it's a horse. Yeah.

I was exiting the bus. Yeah. I was dismounting the bus. Steep stairs. Steep stairs have been a little wet. And I slipped. I didn't fall down the stairs, but I slipped from the edge of one step to the next. You went in our hotel room.

We had a couple of pre- I had zero drinks before the wedding. Yeah, we had a couple of pre-wedding aperils. Yeah, not me. But you were sober. So I went like this. I went down onto the next step, and it echoed through the bus. And people were like, oh, shit.

Is that one of the old people? It wasn't. It wasn't. Well, it was. Just not the oldest people. Yeah. But when I hit the thing, my elbow hit the – that's still sore, by the way. My elbow hit the rail, the handrail, and I chomped my teeth shut so hard.

I was immediately like, ouch. Like my mouth shut like I'd just been punched. In fact, ouch, like my mouth shut. Like I'd just been punched. In fact, I may have hit my elbow in the, like that. I can't remember. It was traumatic.

My brain's blocking my trauma. But since then, my 13, coming up 13 year temporary crown, the broken half in 2015, but still works and has never given me

any trouble so I'm like why would I go to a dentist they're just going to try to upsell me yeah that's always on the upsell this is not going to be

cheap for you I've been putting it off now since the weekend it has been sort of not throbbing but

if I chew on it it's like oh that's a little tender a little tender it's not what I'd say a full-blown toothache. Is there any sensitivity to hot or cold? No.

Okay. Just sensitivity to existing. Just get some Sensodyne on it. I have been putting it. And my mum said you put it on your finger and you just put it straight on the gums. Oh, really? Straight into the bloodstream. So she's also hiding from the dentist.

Well, no, she's been to the dentist and the dentist is like, there's nothing wrong with that tooth. And she's like, well, it hurts. She's got receding gums. Maybe she's got receding gums. I've got some receding gums on the side. Yo, I scrub very aggressively.

Because my dentist told me off the electric toothbrushes. I don't like those. He called them chainsaws. They were all peddling them 10 years ago. They were all like nine out of 10 dentists.

That one dentist. Who was he? I should have listened. Yeah. He was like, I should have listened. Yeah. He was like, get on board. No, I'll be the one. I'll be the one this time around.

I think he was the one dentist that didn't take a free holiday to Hawaii. I thought they loved it. I thought they loved it too. No, he didn't. He called them chainsaws for the gums. Well, maybe he's the one. He might be the one in 10 dentists.

The nine out of 10 that went and he was like, nah, not for me. So I'm thinking I might have to, after all these years. You haven't been to the dentist. Slink back to a dentist. For 13 years. That is wild.

If I could guarantee that I could pull this out at home with pliers or a wrench or whatever. No. Pipe wrench. No. If I could get it out clean, I'd do it. No. Sade was like, you know. And I was like, if I could guarantee I was going to pull it out

and there weren't going to be little bits and pieces stuck in the gum. Yeah, there'll be bits and pieces. I know there'll be bits and pieces. But it's full of metal. No, but you don't want to do that either because I, when I was, I had the chance of getting a root canal or the tooth pulled out for $60 when I was 21 and I couldn't afford it. I was like, pull the tooth out because $60.

Then all your teeth grow apart because of the gap. I'm fine with the gap. It's not fine. Some of my teeth are a bit tight. It's more problems. Some of my teeth are a bit tight. Are they? You've got tight teeth.

Some of my teeth are a bit tight. Well, my wisdom teeth came in no problemo. I've got a big, I've got a big. You've got a big mouth. You've probably seen my jaw and thought, geez, that's an all American jaw. Why is this guy not in a Marvel movie? What a jaw. Like, what a movie star jaw.

The main reason I have a beard is just, ladies, please, leave the jaw. The jaw is, this jaw is spoken for. And so the wisdom teeth are back there, so if I pull this one out, everybody can just migrate forward, a little bit of migrate back, even it up, get those nice little gaps in there so it's easier to floss.

How many, like you're very good with your brushing. I brush three times a day mostly. Are you worried though that there are other holes they're going to find? Like other fillings needed? Yeah, absolutely. Before I stop going to the dentist, one of my teeth needed to be drilled out entirely and filled with metal. And I have a lot of fillings from when I was younger.

Oh, Hon, you haven't been to the dentist in so long. They don't use metal now. I've, sweetie Hon. This is mercury. Yeah, they don't do that anymore, Hon. This is mercury. Leave me alone. No, they don't do that anymore.

This is mercury. Yeah. So, my question. I know I didn't have a question. This is a Mercury. Yeah. So, my question. I know I didn't have a question. What was I going to say next? You're going to book it. It's the Mercury poisoning in my brain. I forgot what I was going to say next.

They don't do that anymore. I think I'm going to have to. Go to the dentist. Finally. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Now, I got a crown a year or so ago, and it is not cheap. I'm saving for Disneyland. I know.

And everything's costing a goddamn fortune. My wife's been very, very good. She made a budget, and she's sticking to it. She's sticking to it. There's been no anine bings. Do you want me to tell you how much my crown cost? No, no, no, no, no. I confirmed yesterday that the pants were from Cotton On.

We talked about Sade's pants. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She heard that, and she said, I shan't be shamed. And I said, funky dude, let's go to Woodstock, man. No shame, because they're bell bottoms. Yeah. Well, her saving means that you can spend a few thousand dollars on your crown. What?

That's how much crowns cost. Okay, what's the cheapest option? Could I take in a carved piece of bone? Because we were going to have a roast with the bone in it. So if I – I know some people. They carve it like a tooth. Yeah, and they carve it like a tooth with a tremel, and then we just pop that in the hole so that the things don't change.

Or I just pop it in at night. Like an Invisalign, but a bone line. Man. People are saying this should be covered by ACC because it was a stumble. No, it's not, though, because it's a temporary. It's an existing, yeah. It's an existing tooth issue, which is the next thing it does. Look, give it a nudge.

Give it a try. What I'm saying is, I need you to punch me in the side of the face as hard as you can. Now, the knuckle, your centre knuckle needs to hit that tooth exactly. No, ACC are not going to cover that. And I'll be like, there was a skirmish at work. Yeah, also a fraud,

an ACC fraud claim. It's not a fraud if it happens. Live on air is not. No, but that doesn't matter. Yeah, okay. If it still happens, it happened. Okay, well, are you going to book in today? You need to do this today.

Are you reading messages in of how much it's going to cost you? Yes. Maybe give me a couple more days. Just get on the trammies. Take some Panadol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just develop a crippling pain to killer addiction. Numb the pain.

Yeah. No, you've got to get in there. Oh, man. You've got to book. Yeah. I've been saying for a long, because it's, the cost is the main, and there was a study done. So I know Australia's going through it as well.

Yeah. And New Zealand, the cost of dentistry. Is putting pain, oh, of course it is. Yeah. It puts people off. It's ridiculous. Yeah. Vaughan, go to the student dentist at the Otago University.

Well, that's going to cost me a fortune to get there. Do you want me to quickly look up some flights to the native today? I was just down. I could have gone from Wanaka across to Queenstown. I was punched in the face and ACC do not cover it. Somebody asked me, says you didn't apply as work. I know

two people who would. I need a plier professional, but then I'm playing a tradie, you know, I'm paying a plumber to come around because, you know, your pliers go. Do you want a student doing it though?

How student are they? Like three years and they're doing it or are they just, is this your first year? Right, yeah. Okay, you can get out to the need at lunchtime today for $272 With no bag And then coming back

Tomorrow $272 Right So you can So what Just go here Just go here Just go here

Seriously punch me in the face I'll punch you in the face And then they'll be like You're not covered Wind up and punch me in the face But I'll still get the Always in the tooth I'll be out

I don't know if it will What if you knock the one beside it It's still all the... The tooth will be out. I don't know if it will. What if you knock the one beside it? It's still all the heavy lifting at the moment with the chewing. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you to everybody messaging in

with some helpful tips for Vaughan's dentistry. I am actually going to need to leave. I'm joining the army today. Are you? I'm in the army now. Do they get dental?

Defence Force get free dental. Do in the, what's the part-time army? Territorials. Territorials. And you just go on like camps with weird people at the weekend? That's embarrassing. You're going to be in the actual army. No, I don't know if the Territorial gets it.

Oh, okay, yeah. Because I'm a full-time Defence Force employee. What Defence Force, what arm of the Defence Force would I be in? Air Force. Air Force. Air I be in? Air Force. Air Force. Air Force because of the overalls. Yeah, I'd say, yeah. I've got big Air Force energy.

Or you could be like an Army mechanic in overalls. You just want to be in overalls? I mean, I think the overalls are quite flattering. Are they? I could overalls it up. I could see you more in blue. Maybe. Maybe Navy. Oh, wait, what colour's the Navy's outfit? I think they're blue, aren't they? I could overalls it up. I could see you more in blue. Yeah, maybe. Maybe Navy.

Maybe Air Force. Oh, wait, what colour's the Navy's outfit? I think they're blue, aren't they? I thought they were blue. Yeah, they're blue. I thought the Air Force was green. Green. Oh, look, I don't know.

I thought it was the Army. What a double up, do they? Green, they're green. What a double up on the... Yeah, maybe. On the Naturals. 82% of people have admitting to snooping through somebody else's devices. Well, no, 100% of people

have done it, but only 82% were willing to admit it. A shocking 53% claim they've found something incriminating or concerning while going through somebody else's device. So maybe some nudes. If you go looking for trouble, there's likely you'll find it. Yeah, yeah.

Does it say at what opportunity they used to search the phone? Like when they're in the shower. It's the shower. It doesn't. 70% say they've discovered evidence of digital flirting or in-person cheating after going through someone's device. In-person cheating. Wow.

Which I'd imagine, though, that's why they're going through the device. Like they're concerned that there's something going on. They smell smoke. Yeah, yeah. They believe there's fire. Right. This is crazy, isn't it? But is it hard though now?

I guess if you know their PIN number. Mm. Get in. The problem we've got, and it's not like incriminating us and cheating stuff, but it's maybe like screen capping things and sending it to a group

and be like, or something. Yeah. Wait, that sounded really guilty. I'm just, it can be anything. It's not like dirty. It could just be like, what about this guy? And what's this group chat bitchy?

Yeah, but when you've screen capped something and you send it to the group and it saves it to your library and you've got it linked to other devices. Oh, yeah, right. Okay. You might have to explain. Yeah. I'm just thinking about it because my kids use the iPad And it's linked to my phone and they'll be like what's this

And I'll be like ah It's a lot to explain That's someone we don't like at work Not at work We like everybody at work It was Carwen it was Georgia It was about Georgia Jokes Georgia

Lovely Georgia Bird. Jokes. Coming up on your radio after 9 o'clock this morning. Yeah, but Carwin did have a point about your roller doors not really fitting the aesthetic of your house. I know. What a bitch. Now she's all like, not me. I think the barn door look fits anywhere.

I love the barn door. I love the barn door. I want barn doors. I love the barn doors. I want the barn door look. Wow, she's not happy. Yeah, I know. It was a wild, outrageous claim. We can show you the screenshot in the group chat. I love the barn doors. I want the barn door look. Wow, she's not happy. Yeah, I know. It was a wild, outrageous claim.

We can show you the screenshot in the group chat. Yeah. We'll send it. Yeah. No, Carwen never said that. I just know, because I like the doors and I know you'd be proud of them. I knew it was a sore point and I stuck my finger in the sore point. It's how I function.

I've got a problem. I'm unwell. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's fact of the day is we talked yesterday about the world's loneliest tree. Yes. It was a tree that has no business being on Campbell Island, an island south of New Zealand.

Hundreds of kilometres away. Hundreds of kilometres from New Zealand. Lonely tree. So today's is about the world's most remote pub. Oh, okay. It is the Albatross Bar, and it is on the tiny island of Tristan da Cunha, which is in the South Atlantic Ocean.

Okay. So if you drew a line between South Africa and South America, Okay. it's in there. Right. I've got a little map here I can show you. Also, it blows my mind how much further

South America is than South Africa. Oh, okay, yeah. Because you don't really see it them side by side at an angle that kind of correctly shows how far South America,

the bottom of South America, is significantly closer to Antarctica. And that ocean at the bottom of South America can be pretty treacherous. Is that Cape Horn? Maybe. Something around there. It is it can be pretty treacherous. Is that Cape Horn? Maybe.

Something around there. It is. It's very treacherous. So it's in the middle of nowhere, this island called Cristandahuna, named after a Portuguese explorer and conquistador who named it after himself, apparently, on one of his voyages to South America from Portugal.

And the pub there, the Albatross Bar, is the world's most remote pub because it is the world's most remote island and it is the only pub on the island. How many people live on this island? I had a population breakdown and it was dwindling. Or it kind of

remained steady, but they were like, with population growth everywhere else, it might as well be going down. They have only ever played football, cricket and baseball on the island. And when it's football it's a reduced number because they struggle to fill out the teams.

It's only serviced by ships because it's too far away for a helicopter to land at. It doesn't have an airport. Oh, okay. And mostly it's fishing ships that also come out and fish in the South Atlantic that also service it. So if they run out of a certain sort of beer early,

the bar can't restock it until the next ship arrives. If you want to go, you've got to catch a boat there, and there's only nine boats that go a year. So you might be there a little while when you get there. So in 2018 it had 250 people. The population was 250. God, you'd get through Tinder pretty quick, wouldn't you? You would.

It was down because two years before in 2016 it was up to 293. Right. There was a little volcanic eruption at one stage. Oh, no thanks. Because that's how the island is formed. It's an old vent. But what, do you have to wait two months

till the boat comes to evacuate you? No, they all got on tuna fishing boats and just kind of like anchored offshore. And then they all got taken to South Africa and they just waited to hear. And because no one was ever going out there just specifically to look, they had to wait for like months.

And then someone came in and said, oh, you know, it stopped bubbling a while ago. You can go home now. So they were like, oh, thanks for that. And they all went home. Oh. But yeah, it still sounds a bit too remote for me. Yeah.

And I can't see like, I would have expected it to be like a fishing hub or anything, but not really. It's just in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, right. And some people are just from there, so they live there, but it is the home of the world's most remote pub.

So today's fact of the day is the world's most remote pub is somewhere in the ocean between South America and South Africa. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Teenage boy, a 14-year-old boy stole a school bus

And he got caught because he crashed into a petrol pump And some other stuff Because he's 14 and he's driving a huge big yellow school bus Exactly how you're picturing in your mind right now. This is in America. Yes. The big yellow school buses. Yes.

Iconic. Iconic, yes. Those things, would they have power steering? They don't look like they would. So they have to get new ones. Because my in-laws have got one and they've converted it into like a... What, they imported it? Yeah, they brought it into the country and converted it to right-hand drive

and do all this stuff to it. And it's like their caravan now. Okay. It's like their camper van. Yep. And theirs is an older one, and it doesn't. It drives like a truck, like an old truck. Yeah, like a...

Like no power steering. But the new ones might, because they can only take up so many Ks in them before they have to sell them. Oh, right. Yeah. Because it's a safety thing for kids. I assume so, yeah. Whereas, like, all the guns, that's still fine.

Oh, man, that's the good thing about guns, man. Right. They still fire as sweet now as they did in 1974. Yeah, yeah. Whereas like all the guns, that's still fine. Oh man, that's the good thing about guns, man. They still fire as sweet now as they did in 1974. Yeah, right. But old school buses, oh no. No, not old school buses. Interesting place, America. Very interesting. Couple of juxtapositions there.

So yeah, he was involved in a police chase after bouncing off the diesel pump and then they put a spike strip out. Yeah. Road spikes and stuff. Oh, right. Yeah. Wild story.

They tased him. They tased him as well. Yeah. Okay, this kid is a shitbag. Yeah. He's a naughty boy. We all had one of these at school. That's the thing.

When I'm describing this, I think everybody can imagine the kid that would have done it. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. At school. Well, that's the thing. When I'm describing this, I think everybody can imagine the kid that would have done it. At school. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. I can think of three or four. Yeah. That probably would have attempted to steal a school bus.

Well, seeing this story, we thought we would ask you, who was that kid at school? Maybe it was you. What was the craziest thing that someone got in trouble for at school? Mm. Did they steal a school bus?

Yeah. Did they set the science room? The curtains always went on fire. They should never have had curtains in the science room. Yeah, it's an accident waiting to happen. But with the Bunsen burner, even a negligent child on the end of a Bunsen burner could set the curtains ablaze. Yeah, or did the teacher go to the bathroom

and you mix some chemicals together that you shouldn't have? No. That's why they locked the chemical room. Yeah, they do, yeah. That was always locked. Give us a call. 0800 DALS at MSN number.

You can text as well, 9696. What was the naughtiest thing someone did at your school? Play ZM's Fletchford and Haley. Play ZM. We are talking about the naughtiest thing that someone did at your school. Within reason. Wow. Within reason. There are some messages we cannot read out. And I wonder how these school children who are now, I assume, adults.

Have made it to adulthood. Are functioning as part of society. Yeah, so a 14-year-old in America stole a yellow school bus. They ended up having to taser him after he crashed to get the bus, that whole situation, under control.

So some messages in. On the cuter side of things. Throwing apples at the roof fans and making the apples explode. Okay, that's on the lighter, cute side of things. That's on the lighter, cute side of things. I've actually got a fan. I could do that at home.

A lunchtime strip poker ring was busted at our school. What? Jesus. I think I'm having a panic attack. That's all boys bought is, eh? Yeah. I'm going to tell myself that. I'm going to tell myself that.

Nope, not going to read that one. Nope, not going to read that one. Nope, not going to read that one. Wow, it's that bad, is it? Kenan's called through. Kenan, also, were someone got in trouble at your school? It was actually me. I didn't actually get caught for it, but our teacher in science gave us a few chemicals

and told us that there were two of them that were not to mix. And obviously the first thing I'd done when she turned her back was mix those two chemicals. And it created some sort of poisonous gas and gassed out the whole science block and we all had to get evacuated. So you made mustard gas

like it was World War I and you never got caught? No, well, that's the thing. The whole class had access to the chemicals because it was all over our tables, so they just had to get everybody out. All they saw was purple gas flying everywhere. Purple gas was purpled.

Like the gas that makes the minions bad and the despicable me too. Yes. Brilliant, and you never got caught. Wow. Never got caught, yeah. Brilliant, Kenan, thank you. The craziest thing that never got caught. Wow. Never got caught, yeah. Brilliant, Kenan. Thank you.

The craziest thing that you got in trouble for at school or maybe got away with. I need some more time to... Do you need some time to go through the messages? Yeah, just to filter these through. Someone did say someone had a bad habit of slamming themselves back in the chair once, so we put a banana in it

and they slammed back in the banana shot up and hit the roof. That was pretty funny. We want to know the craziest thing that you got in trouble for at your school, or somebody. 14-year-old stole a bus. We've had a bus stealing here. Yeah, so we had a message in. Somebody said they lived in Hamilton

and someone stole a bus and drove it to Ngaruahia and then when they got caught and started getting in trouble, they said it's what the Hamilton City Council told me to do because they were running a campaign at the moment saying, take a bus. I mean, you're taking that very literally. They did take a bus. Laura, what was the most trouble you got in at school?

Oh, I feel like trouble was a common thing where I grew up in Pocor. However, a particular one, so we had a science class and none of us were really bright. We were in that class. But most of us tried pretty hard and one day we were on the bunts and burners having a good turn. And of course the science class has got lots of other tools where you can do

other things. And next minute, there's a group of three girls with these carved out apples, smoking cones out in the back of our science class. And I don't know how, but they never, they never got caught. Wait, you made an apple, okay, an apple bong. It's not a bong, it's more of a pipe.

It's more of a pipe, yeah. There's no water involved, I've been told. Okay, yeah. Yeah, no water. So they did it at school. It was always science because the teacher had to keep their eyes in so many places in science. Yeah. I remember saying at the back of the room,

shelves full of, like, things in formaldehyde, like animals and stuff. Oh, really? I remember saying to the teacher once, I was like, that looks cool, but that's got to be a bad idea. Yeah. Because people were always, like, trying to get them and open them and throw them at them, and that's why they didn't get caught, Because people were always like trying to get them and open them and

that's why they didn't get caught is because the teacher's eyes were too busy watching everything else that was in that block. Anyway. Yeah, well you got away with it. What do they do now? Do you know? Obviously we don't want their specific job titles and their names, but do you know what they're doing now? I have sort of like

checked in on Facebook with a couple of them. One's got 100 kids. The other one's really religious. And the other one's kind of like a cross between Bob Marley and a full on gangster. So, you know. Real Yellow Jackets vibe there. Yeah, isn't it? Bit of everything.

Laura, thanks for your call. Some more messages in. Bit of everything. The most trouble for your cool, some more messages in. Bit of everything. The most trouble that you got into at school. I went to school in the States and a kid made counterfeit money. This secret service came to school. Wow.

I used one of his fake $20 notes. Tell you what, worked the treat. Wow, that's crazy. We got in big trouble because everybody agreed that the teacher smelled and then one day when the teacher told a kid off, the kid got up, walked up to the teacher with a can of links and sprayed the teacher and said, take care of your body odour.

Oh, my God. That's ruthless. That's amazing. That's real mean. Lots of stories. And if I was a teacher, I just wouldn't drive a Mini because, well, the old Minis were very light and easy to move. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you got enough big hulking lads,

you were able to put the teacher's Mini anywhere. I reckon enough students could lift up a Suzuki Swift, though. I feel like that would be a common teacher car. Yeah. What about the Aquar? The Aquar's quite light, eh? Have you ever been worried about that, Carwin, that someone's going to pick it up and put it somewhere?

Well, don't put that out into the universe. I don't want that to happen. She's already had one of her cars ram-rated. Exactly. So don't wish it at all. No, I feel like they're kind of heavy. Yeah.

Kind of heavy. Maybe it's the batteries. Maybe we take the catalytic converter off. Is that what you call it? Catalytic? Catalytic. Converter? That's what everyone's stealing

from your kind of cars. Yeah. Sorry for putting that out there too. Yeah, cool. Someone said, we used to peel the top layer off the custard squares from the tuck shop

and hit them at the ceiling. I mean, they're getting rid of the icing, arguably one of the best parts of the custard square. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the idea is you'd like litter the ceiling

with them before class and then you'd wait for them to fall off. I think they mean they take the top layer off, eat that, and then the rest is on the ceiling.

We used to peel the top layer off a custard square then throw up onto the ceiling. Don't get rid of the icing. The icing's a great part. It's the best bit. The icing's a great part. By the way, did you see this thing that's happening

at a Kmart where people are walking in and throwing the sticky lizards on the roof? Yes. And there's hundreds of sticky lizards on the roof. I believe it's called West Auckland, Vaughan. Oh, is it West Auckland Kmart? I believe it's West Auckland Kmart, yeah. Yeah, people are throwing the sticky lizards.

I don't know if they've got all the sticky lizards down. Have they taken out the sticky lizards off the shelves or are they leaving them there? Do you mean like removing them? Yeah, removing the product. Well, I don't know if there's any left for sale as they're all stuck to the roof. There was literally hundreds of them when I saw them here.

Is that technically shoplifting? Because you're not stealing it, are you? It's still in store. But it can't be resold. It's destruction of property. I mean, because it's going to come off. You know what sticky lizards are like when you get them off. They've always got a little bit of stickiness on them.

And they're going to have to hire one of those things. Beep, beep, beep. And then... The scissor lift. The scissor lift, yeah. And pick all the sticky lizards off the ceiling. Please stop going into Kmart and putting the sticky lizards on the roof. And then it speaks volumes for the stickiness of the sticky lizard

that is truly living up to its name. Great product. Yeah. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've on the road. And then it speaks volumes for the stickiness of the sticky lizard that is truly living up to its name. Great product. Yeah. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners, you've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened

all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it. So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.