ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 10th November 2023

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

Top 6: Auckland Must Do's & Must Not Do's  Silly Little Poll!  Final Rankings!  Hayley's Colonoscopy  Prenups!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshpawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fleshpawn and Hayley. It's three minutes past six. Big show today. Big fat show. Big fat show.

We are kicking off our Friday's Live Ticket Blitz this morning at 8 o'clock. So every hour throughout the day today on ZM we're giving you the chance to win a double pass to Fridays Live. Plus, we've got Friday Live meet and greets. Friday's Live artist meet and greets. So you get to meet some of the artists. Oh, my God. I thought you – oh, I had panic. I thought they were meeting and greeting us.

And I was like, oh. You'll be too drunk for that. I just want to have a nice day. Come say hi, but, you, but don't meet and greet. Don't fondle. Yeah, no fondling. Also, Sam Smith is in the country. Saw a photo yesterday with show sponsor, some of the Macca's staff.

I don't know if that was at the airport. Did they go to McDonald's? Sam Smith? Well, maybe like walking past and then the staff will take it and there's a photo of him taking a selfie of all the staff. I was going to say, Sam, look, you're in the city of food

and you're going... No, but you know, there's just those times when you need... Sometimes you get off the plane and you're just like... Nuggies. Oh, straight away. I've got to get home.

A QWERTY P. I literally, because I always park at the airport, I always drive out and go to that non-A's on the park at the airport I always drive out and go to that non-a's on the corner of the airport

did you get a post colonoscopy for Leofish no I didn't I was too dopey and we were home and I was like oh damn

well today we do have a double pasta giveaway to Sam Smith that'll be after 8.30 this morning on the show as well

coming up the top six. Top six Auckland must-dos have been revealed in an article. This is just somebody's opinion. So I've got the top six Auckland must-not-dos. If you're visiting Auckland anytime soon. Maybe you're here over summer. Yeah.

Next on the show. Fighting fire with fire, effectively. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, Mahatma Gandhi said. And he also said, but at one of his lesser known quotes, if a crocodile bites you, bite it back. I don't know if he said that. He did. I don't think I've ever read that.

Exactly. Everybody's trying to keep it quiet because they don't want everybody out there biting crocodiles. But one man has. Amazing story from Aussie Next. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. How would you fight a crocodile? I think I'd just give up.

What technique? I think I would just give up. You're done. Yeah, I would panic and freeze. I personally think fighting a crocodile would be scarier than fighting a shark. Yeah, because at least you'd be just donk a shark, eh? You'd do your best to donk a shark. And you'd hope that it would let you go.

But a shark, like, grabs and shakes. We must be due for Shark Week, too. A shark grabs and just shakes. But the crocodile grabs and rolls. Oh, does it? Doesn't it? Right. He grabs and rolls. Oh, does it? Doesn't he? Right. He grabs and rolls.

I think either way you're screwed, really. I don't want to fight either. Is that an option? And just the geriatric said, we're just sticking its mouth so it can't shut its mouth. Or got Bugs Bunny in the bloody producer's booth. Yeah, you're just on the riverbank and all of a sudden you're in an alligator or a crocodile's mouth.

Yeah. Get a stick. One moment, I'll just get a perfectly shaped stick and jam it in. I'll pry you open. Jam it in your mouth. Do they say play dead?

No, that's a bear. That's a bear. If it's brown, go down. If it's black, fight back. That's the bear. Once you go back? It's hard to go down. If it's black, fight back. That's the bear. Once you go back? It's hard to go black.

Okay. Back from black. Okay. It's hard to go back. No, but the bear, but it's white. You're just dead. Polar bears. Yeah.

If you're dead, you're dead. I thought black bears, you were dead as well. No, black bears are the smaller bears. If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lie down. If it's white, good night. That's what it is. See, that would be me.

I'd lie down and it would be a black bear. I'd be like, oh my god. Damn it. This tiny little beard cub, black bear, and you're like, okay, well I guess I'll lie down. It's been a good life. And then it cuddles in in front of you and you get to cuddle the bear and it's so warm because I've told you about this

before. Mum and dad's friend that went to Alaska and shot a grizzly bear and then had its shot a grizzly bear and had its palate back and it was a rug. Oh, my God, last year. What? Last year. No, God, no, in the 80s.

Okay, I was going to say. Oh, God. I'll tell you what, though. The nicest rug. Was it real comfortable? Oh, my God. Every time we'd go there, I'd just be like, excuse me, everybody, as a child, I'd be like,

excuse me, I'm just going to go and have some time on the bear rug. And was its head just there? Like, oh, my God, that's nuts. And you'd put your hand, like, its mouth was. And it was its head just there. Like, oh my God, that's nuts. And you'd put your hand like its mouth was open and it had its teeth in it. You would just be like the sheer, and it wasn't like the biggest one either. The sheer size of, like as a kid,

you could fit your head in there. Oh my God, imagine if Little Vornie had Instagram. That would have been such a great photo. Little Vornie would have been cancelled. Well now, but not then. Not then. Wow. Well, anyway, but not then. Yeah, not then. Yeah. Wow.

Well, anyway, I didn't fight a bear. This man called Colin. I mean, that's the perfect name to have to fight a crocodile. Yeah. He fought a crocodile. He was doing some fencing. He's a cattle farmer. He was doing some fencing on his ranch.

And he's in his 60s. You can picture this guy. Oh, old mate. Stopped at a billabong on the way home. That dirty bastard latched onto me right foot, he says. It was a big grab and he shook me like a rag doll and took off back into the water pulling me in. I was in an awkward position. By accident my teeth caught his eyelid. How the hell did his teeth catch the eyelid? It's got his foot and he's so

flexible that he's up by its Yeah, he's just ragdolling him and he's falling over and so he said his teeth caught the eyelid and he felt it like it didn't like that so he's like He bit him on the eye. He bit my eye.

And bit onto the eyelid. And he said it was pretty thick. It was like biting into leather. But I bit and jerked back on his eyelid and he let me go. He then chased me for a bit, maybe about four meters, but then stopped. Oh, man. He's had his leg bitten off or bitten. Yep.

And he still managed to get away. Yeah, get away. Have you got the leg? Yep. It all happened within eight seconds.. Yeah, get away. Has he got the leg? Yep. It all happened within eight seconds. He's had skin grafts and everything. He said the biggest problem was having to clear out all the bad bacteria, so all of the billabong water's full of mud, goose shit, duck shit.

Far out. He's eloquent, Alcola. Yeah. Who's he? Duck, duck, duck shit. Got all the shit down in the belly. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's why I have to boil the water.

What an amazing story. I would panic. I would just panic. When I first heard this, like, bite a crocodile, they're very hard. They're like... He found the one soft part of a crocodile. The only thing of that is, like, biting the eyelid means you've got to get closer to the face. Yeah, you're right by the jaw, aren't you?

My instincts are like, away, withdraw, withdraw. So would that be punch it in the eye would be another way then? Poke it in the eye with a stick. Poke it in the eye with your finger? Yeah. These are all great tips when you're in the... Where's its nut sack? Because that's similar if you're being attacked by a male,

you go for the eye socket or the ball socket. Nut sack, I'm just googling. Crocodile nut sack. Crocodile nut sack. Crocodile nutsack. All I'm getting are the Crocs with the attachment of the balls that you can put on the back strap. Oh, yeah. That's what I want to know. Truck nuts for the Crocs.

That's what I want to know. They're actually on Etsy. Crocsack, they're called. Crocsack. Jesus Christ. People actually put these on their Crocs. Amazing. I love that.

Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm not actually getting any. In fact, the whole first two pages of Google searches are for croc nuts. Crocodile balls. Maybe genitals would be the better. Well, now Crocodile

Balls is just making meatballs with crocodile meat. Crocodile, where are a crocodile's testicles? Oh my god. Oh, you want to use some proper language. You want to use medical terms, do you? This story's popped up from 2012 on Google. A crocodile bit a Zimbabwe man's testicles while they were crossing a river.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Do crocodiles have testicles? Alligators. Oh, these are alligators. Okay, I don't mean to be offensive, but I think they'd have the same genital set up.

They're not the same. I know they're not. You can just say they're all the same. Wow. Did you hear that? I did. Alligators, they all look the same genital set up. They're not the same. I know they're not. You can just say they're all the same. Wow. Did you hear that? I did. Alligators do have testicles. Alligators have a pair of testicles.

They're located inside the body and cannot be seen externally. Oh, okay. In addition to testicles, alligators also have penises that retract in and out of their cloacas as needed. Cloacas. Cloaca. Well, yeah, it's the one-stop shop, isn't it? Opens up.

I'm sort of jealous. Gross little alligator penis pops out. Gross. Gross, gross, gross. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Genius hack. I hope Ross Boss is not listening. I hope Ross Boss is not listening.

So there's a girlie on TikTok who shared that she is now taking... That's a lozenge in my mouth, by the way. Can you be a broadcasting professional

and just put it on the piece of paper while you're on here? Hang on. Oh, that's a yuck. There you go. Why do you have a lozenge? It's sort of

this like ear thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I know. She's got some antibiotics lozenge? It's the ear thing. Yeah, I know. She's got some antibiotics, but she's not taking them. I don't want the rush. Anyway. Okay, but you've got to take the medicine to get better. Yeah, I know, but it upsets the vagina.

Squirt a bit of Yoplait up there. Yeah, get it. I'm not squirting. That's an old wives' tale. It's a vanilla bean Yoplait. I couldn't find Greek, so vanilla bean was the closest. I'm thinking more of a strawberry. A strawberry? You go to the doctor and they're like,

why have you got hummus in your vagina? And you're like, I thought you put a Greek condiment up there. And she's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. So the tzatziki was also a bad idea? Yeah. Oh, okay. I just sprinkled the tabbouleh on the outside in case you're worried that that's up there as well.

Thumbing in some feta. There's some feta and parsley. I tell you what, that lamb kofta. Oh, I tell you what, that was the perfect fit. Okay, just look, your health issues aside. Well, this is kind of on this, is that there's a girl who is now going to go to work when she's sick because we can do that now.

You don't, you know, it was a big no-no after the, after the pandemic. Although, sidebar, yesterday I was reading

a story from Australia and they were saying that COVID is going to ruin a lot of Christmas plans. Again, there's this big wave. And so I was like, haven't heard anything

here in New Zealand similar. No. Jumped on the ESR wastewater thing and there is a gigantic spike. Is there? The biggest that's been, did you see this as well? The biggest it's been in like, I'd say since June. Because somebody said, who was it said, they couldn't get someone. Gandhi?

Was it Mahatma Gandhi? No, no, it wasn't philosophical. They couldn't do something because they had COVID and Sade was like, huh? I was like, what's this? Huh?

It's not going anywhere. It's just, we're all just waiting for our immunity to wear down so we can catch it again. Yeah. That's all that we're

constantly living in a state of now and there will be bumps and stuff. If it's been six months since you've had it, get a booster because you can get one. I need to do that this week.

Thank you, I'm going to book. Yeah, when you're better. When you're better, you get it. When this throws. I want to get the booster but I'm worried that this pimple is sucking so much of my life force that I might not be in the best. You know how they're like, have you been sick lately? I'd say no, but my body has been producing

the most dry and undersurface pimple of my life at the age of nearly 42. This is some horse shit. I am closer to retirement than I am puberty, and I'm still getting these. Welcome to womanhood. Anyway, so this woman is now going to take her sick days. When she is unwell, she's going to go to work, and she's going to take her sick days when she's feeling her best. Because she said, you only get a number of

days in which you feel excellent. Why waste those at work? I can work through illness, but on my sick days, I don't want to be wasting my sick days lying at home feeling miserable. And then just take a nice day at the beach when it's summer. Take a day and be like, I feel excellent today. I'm going to go for a run.

I'm going to go get some brunch. I'm going to go shopping. I'm going to hang out with the sun. If you're going to go brunch shopping for a run you can't do any of that near work or people you work with. My sick days. My sick days. I'm entitled to them. Yeah, mental health. Why do we waste our mental health days on days where our mental health is shit?

Yeah, I know. If we're in a good mood and you go to work, well, I mean, it's not our case because we love our job. Yeah. And we're home by 10. Well, speak for yourself. Speak for yourself. But why would you, like if you felt great

and you didn't love work, go to work on a day and let it ruin your mental health? Yeah. I've got to give you some of this mental health. I've got to get me some of this mental health.

Yeah. It's working for everyone. Take your mental health days. Oh my gosh. On days when your mental health is good. I'll say it, people don't want your sick ass at work making everyone else sick.

So if you're sick, take an actual sick day. Don't be such a bore. That's the way we've always done it. HR. You work in HR now? That's the way we have always done it. I'm putting my lozenge back in now. I'm done with this break.

Top six is next on the show. Oh, yeah. By the way, that wash she's got is totally contagious. Strip throat. So you two need to stop kissing. But that's how we greet each other in the morning. Antibiotics? Can you just take the antibiotics? It's been trip throat So you two need to stop kissing But that's how we greet each other in the morning Can you just take the antibiotics? It's been two weeks

It's like literally gone It's literally gone but it still hurts It's not literally gone It's literally ever present Oh my god I'm saving my sick days for fun time Play ZM's Fletchvor and Ailey From the bustling ZM

think tank. This is the top six. $115. Yep. Ridiculous. Nine must do highlights of Auckland was a just an article. I just saw the headline and I was like, man, nine

must do and I was just like, top six. Those are both numbers. These are both lists. It's a must do. I could go opposite and go must don't. And it was the easiest option on a Thursday. I'll be honest with you. It was the easiest option on Thursday.

Well, this is great because a lot of people visit Auckland and they might want to do these things. And you're going to be there to warn them not to. Buckle up. What's that song? What's the nine things? Hotel. Level up.

Hotel. It says to stay at Voco. Do you know where that is? It's a new 38-story development that includes the Holiday Inn. I keep on rocking at the Holiday Inn. The restaurant. What are you doing? Restaurants. They talk about restaurants. Then they talk about day trips. Of course, it's got to be Oaxaca. Oaxaca. It's a holiday inn. I keep on rocking at the holiday inn. What were you doing?

Restaurants. They talk about restaurants. Then they talk about day trips. Of course, it's got to be Oaxaca. Oaxaca, darling. Oaxaca, darling. Oaxaca, darling. Bar Albert is on the 38th floor of Voco.

This feels very Voco-centric. It feels like they've got a free... The museum. It feels like they've got a bit of free accommodation to ride this list. They've got a free night. They've got a free staycation. The gallery. The blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Top six must-not-dos in Auckland. Number six on the list. Confuse Glen Eden for Glen Innes. Oh, very different. I still don't know which one's which and I've lived here forever. Me too. One of them's over there and one of them's over there. Glen Innes is behind Mission Bay.

Right. And Glen Eden is West Auckland. Yeah. Is it though? Not confusing because like one's worse than the other. You're just miles apart. If you're like, I'll meet you at, and they just say something that's everywhere. The dairy in Glen Eden and you go to a dairy in Glen Innes.

Easy mistake. You're miles away. Don't do that. Number five on the list of the top six Auckland must-not-dos, saying, oh, walk from here. It's a deceptively large city full of hills. It's actually too big. Literally built on volcanoes.

You're going to be up, you're going to be down. And the temperature changes like that. It's going to be, oh, you've been mad. What a beautiful day. Boom. You'll be wet, you'll be dry. Dry, cold, too hot. Don't do it.

Number four on the list of the top six Auckland must-not-dos. Starting a bar tab. Don't do it. It'll shock you. Don't do it. Pay as you go. It'll shock you. Do not do it.

You'll get carried away. I mean, that's just, to me, that's advice for anywhere, but especially in Auckland. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six Auckland must-not-dos. Thinking you can swim at the beach. Oh, yeah, no. You've got to check the website, and if it's black,

that means there's poo-poos in there. I was just reading this morning, because we've had a big sewage pipe in Auckland spill into the harbour for the last three months. Yeah. And they reckon most of summer it won't be swimmable. Really put a tamper on my cockle collections.

Yes, because you do love your pippies and cockles, don't you? Yeah, your pippies and cockles. You do love those. You sell seashells down by the seashore as well. Not many pippies

in the Waitemata Harbour. No, it's more north. Cockles. Yes, because you took them all. Yeah. I'm not putting them back in. You're not a sustainable fisherman. I've told you this.

I am putting them back because if I come to your place and take a shit, they'll eventually end up back in. You're not a sustainable fisherman, I've told you this. Well actually, I am putting them back because if I come to your place and take a shit, they'll eventually end up back in the harbour. That's the ecosystem, isn't it? It's a circle of life. Number two on the list

of the top six Auckland must not dos. Drinking water from the tap in the city. It's thick. Oh my God. Stop going on about my tap water.

That's what got us so drunk. Nothing to do with the tequila we drank. It was his water. It was the on about my tap water. That's what got us so drunk. Nothing to do with the tequila we drank. Uh-uh. It was his water. It was the water. My tap water. I drank out of the hose at my house yesterday.

Yeah. And it had that first where the hose hasn't been on for a while and you turn the hose on and you drink and you can taste the plastic. Yeah. Of the hose. It still tasted better than Fletcher's tap water. Yeah, it's terrible. Rude.

There might have been even a bit of shit, a bit of cow poo on the end of that. Yeah, gross. Anything's better. Still tasted better than F Blanche's tap water. Very rude. And number one on the list of the top six Auckland must-not-dos, having a sneaky free park. Babe, you're going to get towed.

No doubt about it. Yeah, there is no such thing as a free park. You look around, you don't see the parking water. You look around, you don't see a parking truck. They hover out of the sky when you're not looking. They come from above. Yeah. And they'll just grab your car and take it to the tow place,

and it's so expensive to get out. And they're all really nice, reasonable people too. Oh, yeah, you can just ask them. Well, they are also dealing with nice, reasonable people all the time. So that river flows both ways. That is today's Top 6. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Play ZM. So the Hollywood Writersan and Hayley. Play ZM.

So the Hollywood Writers' Strike and the SAG Actors' Strike, they've been going for ages. Now, the 27th of September, the Writers' Strike came to an end. They struck a deal. And that's why we got a lot of the US talk shows came back. Yeah, that's right. And they were on strike for five months, meaning the actors have been on strike for at least half a year, right?

Yeah. Terrible. I mean, not terrible. They were finding, because basically they were going like, people were using their likeness and giving them no royalties for streaming and it just was, even though everyone was like, shut up, you earn millions, but it's about the principle and the way that it's.

And also, the top few earn millions, but the, everyone under them don't. And they, studios. What was it? You had to earn $26,000 in a year

to qualify for the health insurance and 80% of people didn't. Yeah. 80% of people. When you see a lot of the background actors and even just minor actors on these TV shows, they don't earn that much. Totally.

And the studios were wanting to basically capture their likeness and use them as background extras. With no extra pay. Yeah, which is wild. Insane. So the actors' strike officially ended at 12.01am on Thursday, American time. So that's overnight, last night.

So it's going to mean, like, production is going to start. It's going to ramp up. But it's going to be hard for a lot of stuff to film because a lot of actors are going to have to work out what they're shooting on and when. So that's going to pause productions. A lot of, I'm reading a lot of TV shows are going to go from like 20 odd eps to 10 to 13.

Shorten seasons. Like Grey's Anatomy is one that's going to have a shortened season because they've got some in the can, right? And then they had to pause so they're going to go,

okay, we can't do that. A lot of them, but there's lots of shows like you kind of, I guess like, you know, the shows that are on all the time.

Procedural, like NCIS. Criminal Minds, Evolution, NCIS, 911, Tracker, all that are going to start production imminently. There is a name for that genre. Shit Fletch Watchers.

Shit Fletch Watchers. Shit crime that Fletch Watchers. Trash American crime shows that Fletch absolutely binges. I lapped them up. You know I lapped them up. SVU. Yeah, you're a big SVU. No, I'm not an SVU-er.

I'm not an SVU-er. They've salvaged 13 episodes, which usually they'd have much more, so they can put that out. I love SWAT. I love SWAT. Do you know why I worked out I love SWAT? Come on.

It's because the guy that made SWAT made The Shield, and I just finished binging that. You just finished 2002's The Shield. Stranger Things. That was just about to start filming pre. Oh, my God. All of those kids are adults now. I know.

They're literally adults now. I know. They're like monster breasts and huge beards. You're like, hey, what kind of those kids are adults now. I know, they're literally adults now. They've got monster breasts and huge beards. What kind of a kid are you? And they're going to be like, I'm a high school child. Apparently they've got a plan for this though. I don't know what that is. Time skip?

Maybe a time skip. They are saying though that they were just about to start filming. So even though they're maybe about to start filming soon, there's a lot of post-production with computer-generated effects. They don't reckon that new season will be until 2025, the beginning of. Do it right, though. I don't want them to rush it and bugger it up. Same with White Lotus.

White Lotus is starting filming the third season at the beginning of next year, which means they'll film, they'll go into post, but there's not huge special effects in that show. No. They've said, Mike White, the creator, has said it's going to be a monster season. Like a bigger, more episodes. Supersized White Lotus.

Longer, bigger, crazier. And we believe it's set in Thailand. I think it's here that Thailand have rumoured that as. Abbott Elementary's going back. There's lots of shows that are going back. Hugh Jackman will be stoked. Why? Because they were filming Deadpool 3

and he was putting his 55-year-old body through the ringer to get his Wolverine body. Oh, yeah. And then they paused and they were like, if you could just stay in shape, that'd be great because we're going to pick up lots of strikes. He's going to keep eating four chicken breasts every hour on the hour. And pumping an insane amount. And then his marriage ended over the strike. He could keep eating four chicken breasts every hour on the hour and pumping an insane amount

and then his marriage ended over the strike as well. Couldn't even stop and have a little cry and a cake. There were, Deadpool was one movie that was also

the second Gladiator and they're filming a Wicked movie. Yes. They were all like mid-shooting and so they haven't been able to shoot

for like six months. Now let's not forget there were a lot of big Hollywood productions that were happening in New Zealand that also featured Jason New Zealand that also featured Jason Momoa, but

also were put on hold and put hold to him coming back, because he was supposed to be back in August and he's been gone a long time. And you miss him. Miss him. Missing his car around. Regarding Gladiator, Ridley Scott's directing it. Are you happy with him taking the... I just feel like

we didn't spend enough time there. On Jason Momoa I just feel like we didn't Spend enough time there On Jason Momoa I feel like we just Didn't spend enough time About there She was dribbling And I wanted to start Talking before she had to go

Mic off Ridley Scott Who's making Gladiator Who made the first one I was just like It's her mate Because I registered That he's 85 years old

Dude You can't be going Hey 85 year old We're just gonna break For a few months. He's like, I could die. Yeah. I'm in the window.

How do they have that energy? I saw an interview, Martin Scorsese's new film, and he was sitting up there. In a Zimmer frame? Oh, I was like, dude is old. Yeah, old ass. Yeah. I mean, it just takes like one flight of steps, one or two steps, and you're gone at that age. And the film in Gladiator in North Africa right

like hot hot you're too hot for an old boy Nan gets hot my Nan gets very she gets hot she's cold too

and she's not directing Gladiator 2 she's not she turned it down play ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley Fletchvorn and Hayley silly little po silly little po it is so silly Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

You're a silly little pole. You're a big, you got a big pole. Today's silly little pole. It're a big, you've got a big pole. Today's silly little pole. It's a real Friday energy in this studio. Did you guys miss me yesterday, by the way? You didn't mention it. Yeah, yep. Yeah, we did. We did, yeah.

We did. Missed my intense feminine energy. Yes, yes, yes. And my charming female sense of humour. It was the charm that I missed the most. We missed actually what we did. And my charming female sense of humour. It was the charm that I missed the most. We missed actually what we did.

Fantastic breasts for a bit of eye candy. I shan't comment on the breasts. We did miss the coffee shout at seven, didn't we? I'm doing a coffee shout at seven, guys, by the way.

She's back. I shout coffees. We did miss you. Well, thanks to McCafe, treat yourself to a McCafe with my Macca's rewards, which Hayley is accumulating. Can you not do my job?

That's my job. Well, I'm just slowly trying to make you remember. This is why you guys get a coffee and I get the points. I'm slowly forcing you out. Also, you're the king of shouting and getting points. This is what you do. I'll cover it. No, he's not shouting. He doesn't shout either. He's paying to be immediately paid back.

All the while accruing, I'm getting points. But that's good. At least when I'm doing with the comedy show. Someone takes care of it. Same. Because I hate chasing it up. And I very rarely pay back as well.

I don't pay back. Nah. I'm like, oh, it's coming, it's coming. Anyway, today's still a little poll. Have you ever tried something, if we could get away

from the sidebar to go to our original sidebar? To the main bar, the main tab. Move back to the main bar. We're like that person at the Olympics doing the gymnastics around the polls. Gymnastics is the To the main bar, the main tab. We'll move back to the main bar. We're like that person at the Olympics doing the gymnastics around the poles.

Gymnastics is the best thing to watch at the Olympics too. I even watch the sprinters and I'm like, how much faster are they than me? Which is bad. Because I know they're faster. Because you don't know what you look like when you run. Gymnastics is the one thing I just cannot fathom my body doing. You watch Olympic sprinters and you think,

I should give that a go. So they go 10 seconds and then I go, even if I came in at 20, that's not that bad. Do you think you're half as fast as the fastest runners in the world? No. But if I put my mind to it, I reckon I could knock a couple of seconds off my watch. Maybe you could do 30, I reckon. 30? Yeah.

I'm slow to start. I'm like an old steam train. But once I build up he needs to get a cane under his belt I need to run and they need to start as I cross the start line

and then blast past me and then I come and I'm like not bad that's not how it works also you never see you know how every now and then

a country will be like ah well we were allowed to chuck a swimmer in and you get Eddie the eel or whatever you never see that at the sprints there was a recent hurdles

and the woman just ran through the hurdles and that was beautiful that was so good that was all of us at the hurdles at the Olympics she was like woo

the gymnastics is the one like even at Javelin I'm like could I? don't know but gymnastics I know for a fact I couldn't do

okay back to the main bar. So we are on that little bar and we're going back up to the top bar. Yeah. Remounting the bar. Yeah. Have you ever tried something on in store just to buy it online?

79% of people said yes. Yeah. Yeah. You want your size right? To be, yeah. I mean, to be honest, sometimes it's not that much cheaper. By the time,

especially if you're getting it overseas and then you add on like, you know, the American dollar at the moment is so bad. So cheaper. By the time, especially if you're getting it overseas, and then you add on the American dollar at the moment is so bad. So bad. And then shipping, you may as well buy it here. Yeah, totally. And then you get it straight away. Sometimes I'm impatient. It's in the store.

I get it. Yeah. Me too. And I also like to just have things when I want them. Same. And if the person helping you is really nice and really helpful, sometimes I'm like... Get a nice positive social interaction.

Yeah. You gogling Coco. Jessica wrote in saying, Yes, but I have an excuse. They didn't have the colour I wanted and stop. Yes. So then had to order it online. Yeah.

You tell yourself whatever you need to tell yourself. Emily said, Yes, but I only do it so I can afterpay it. Oh, yeah. You can have it in store. If the store doesn't have afterpay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have to sign up to afterpay, right?

I think so. Amy said, you can always get offer codes online that you can't get in store. Hashtag extra girl math. Or like, you know when you go to a website and it's like 10% off if you sign up and then you sign up and then they don't send you the code and you're just like, I need it now. I need it now. Yeah.

It's annoying. And then they're like, hey, check this out. Hey, what do you think about this? Whoa, we've got a sale starting tomorrow. Hey, happy birthday. Hey, happy birthday is a thing. Hey, it's your grandma's anniversary of passing. Merry death day. Oh, come back, come back, come back. Here's 5% off for Nana's the thing. Hey, it's your grandma's anniversary of passing. Merry death day.

Oh, come back, come back, come back. Here's 5% off for Nana's death day. Yeah. We're celebrating your Nana's death day with crotchless panties. Come on down. Get your crotchless panties today. Just what Nan would have wanted. Oh, crotchless panties for nannies.

Robbie said shoes because each brand is different and I love receiving packages. He's a package boy. Okay. Briar, I'll find my size and then buy it secondhand on Trade Me for a quarter of the price. Good idea. Yeah, that's nice. We've got a budget queen.

Budget queen. Upcycling, isn't it? Budget queen. Yeah, better than it going on landfill. Isabella said, it needs time to marinate in your brain before you buy it. You see? Oh, right. So she got it.

Bit of marinating, eh? Yeah A bit of marinating, eh? Yeah, a bit of marinating there with Izzy. I went to a tailor to get my measurements and immediately left, went online and bought the buttons down for way cheaper. Bought the button down like a shirt. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just say shirt, Hamish. How fancy are you? Grumpy Lisa! You think you're better than us? Is Grumpy Lisa here? Grumpy Lisa's here. Grumpyish being fancy? Grumpy Lisa! You think you're better than us? Is Grumpy Lisa here? Grumpy Lisa's here. Grumpy Lisa's back. Grumpy Lisa's. Tried on Docs in store for sizing.

I would have picked Grumpy Lisa as a Doc Martin wearer. She likes stomping around. Excuse me, I'm a butch stomp. Hayley and I have got Docs. You've got Docs. But I don't wear them unless I'm in a stomping mood. Okay. So, Hayley, you do a big butch stomp in your dogs.

Thank you. Sometimes. And Fletch, you do sort of a dainty butch stomp. Prance, a prance does. Yes, prance in your dogs. I glide. Grumpy Lisa's like, he glides. Grumpy Lisa probably watches the Olympics

and probably watches the gymnastics and goes, I could do that. Yeah. I reckon I could do that. That was a shit landing. That was bullshit. You stuffed that, Simone Biles. Only four flips But

Tromodox on in-store For the sizing Got online out of Invercargill $60 cheaper And free courier Invercargill Yeah you go to one of those

Local shoe stores eh Oh good stuff They'll do They'll cut your deal Or Pat McKenzie's They'll cut your deal You gotta blow the dust off them Pat Menzies

Pat Menzies Pat McKenzie's Pat Menzies Legendary've got to blow the dust off them. Pat Menzies. Pat Menzies. Pat McKenzie's. Pat Menzies. Legendary Pat Menzies. Oh, yeah. Which is still open? Yeah, of course it is. Yeah.

Which was the one that I went to that does the hats on the corner of K Road that shut down? I don't know. That was another legendary clothing store. Yeah, yeah. No, Pat Menzies is still going strong. Pat Menzies is going strong. Yeah, and Pat McKenzie's is also going strong. Pat McKenzie's.

Bloody Pat Menzies. That's Grumpy Lisa stomping in there. That's my bloody buttocks are giving me rub. That's today's silly little poll. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, I was more of a chat roulette guy, to be honest. I'll admit it. I was more of a chat roulette fellow.

But Omegle was... What happened to my voice? Omegle. Omegle. Omegle. Omegle was like Chatroulette. It was like Chatroulette, but maybe slightly more, less penis orientated. Chatroulette became very, very penis orientated.

Was it before or after Chatroulette? About the same time, I think. Well, it's over. It might not have been the original. It's gone. Yeah, it's gone. It's R.A.P. I never did it.

Because I'm a big MSN, no, not MSN, Yahoo chat room girl. You know, when I was posing as an 18-year-old. Jesus Christ. Oh, I know. God, Patsy, sorry. Nothing bad happened, but we were in there. Yeah, this is a wild west. So that was my kind of wild foray into chatting to strangers.

Oh, this was more of you chuck it on at a party and it would just cycle through. Or people would play instruments. It was amazing. Do you remember we put it on during the show last year? Yes, and I got that guy. That wasn't chat related. And then it would only take one or two turns until you saw a penis.

Yeah. Oh, so it started getting pretty penis heavy too, didn't it? Vaughn, I think it's always been penis heavy. Yeah. That's upsetting. I want to know what the guy that... I'm just hopping on now. I want to know what else Leaf K. Brooks has done because that was the person that started it.

So he posted saying it's over. He started this when he was 13. Like just at his parents' home. He just started it. And he... Dude. The dude is a, he's a,

he's got a wild look. He looks like, he looks like a guy that would be on a Silicon Valley, he looks like he was off the TV show Silicon Valley. Yeah.

Yes. The glasses. He looks like he could 100% have been on the Big Bang Theory or something. He was responsible for that whole website.

He was responsible for, why would you want to be responsible for a whole website, eh? Yeah. Why would you want to be responsible? It's full stop. Yeah, full stop. Full stop. Well, has he said why it's ended?

Just that he's pulling the plug? He just can't be bothered? It's just done, I think. It's a dash. I don't want to have a heart attack. He is one of those... Too stressful. Yeah.

Say again, why would you want to be in charge? An emotional letter. An emotional letter that he sent. Unfortunately, what is right doesn't always prevail. As much as I wish, circumstances are different. The stress and expense of this fight, coupled with the existing stress of expense of operating Omegle and fighting its misuse is simply too much. Operating Omegle is no longer sustainable financially or psychologically.

Frankly, I don't want to have a heart attack in my 30s. He's in his 30s. I would have assumed he was in his 40s. Well, he started it when he was 13, so it's been around that long. Yeah. Wow. It's been around for ages. And so, misuse, people, the penises. The penises. Yeah, people just being rude. Producer Shannon,

you were a big Omegle user. Yeah. Back in the day or still? Yeah, no, when I was like a teenager, it kind of started back when YouTube was in its prime. YouTubers would go on it because you could put tags, you could put your interests. Right. And it would match you with people who said similar things.

And that's how it got kind of dodgy. But if you put like Shane Dawson, sometimes like Shane Dawson himself would go on his own tag. Who's Shane Dawson? He was a big YouTuber back in the day. Canceled now, but back in the day, we loved him. Are we allowed to ask what he did or is it not for discussion? It's that kind of era of YouTube.

Basically, so I would go on it all the time just being like, surely we'll meet a YouTuber, and you never would. But then we would just go on it. Every sleepover, the girls would hop on. We'd just chat to people. It had big sleepover or chilled party. Not like a raging party, but everyone was just chilling and having a laugh. I think we were at a party once and we put it on, eh?

But it quickly ended up being penises. Yeah, but there was a lot of fun. We'd always chat to people and they'd be like, where are you from? We'd be like, New Zealand. And then it became a big, these people are Americans and have never heard of New Zealand. It was a lot of that. I remember we made some pen pals through it, which I think probably now looking back

it was a bit dodgy. Cause we were like, yeah, we're 18. Here's my address. Why is everybody saying they're 18? Cause you're meant to be. It was like, you're meant to say you were 18. Ah, right. So you were like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Age, sex, location. So, okay. And did you end up ever seeing penis on this thing? Constantly. It's kind of crazy. Constantly. It's so wild. But you'd never do it alone. It was always with the girls and you'd be like, hee hee hee because we were like young. Strength in numbers. That's wild.

It's terrible. Well, this is why it's been shut down. Yeah. Penis has ruined everything. No humans ruined everything. He wanted an innocent way for the world to connect And instead we just all showed each other our willies So is chat roulette still a thing? Yeah I just went on it

I went on it too It's weird though because It was more like Tinder It was like We're going to show you a selection of people You tell us who you would be interested in talking to And I was like not that one Not, not that one, not that one. So you only picked the hot ones?

I didn't pick anybody. I just shut it down in the end after it asked me for access to my microphone and camera. You were just like, no thanks. I was like, not today, chat relief. We do this every Friday. Normally we rank favourite foods. We wanted to do...

We have been going a bit rogue as of late. Yeah, outside of the food realm. Because we thought we could rank jellies. Because you were on your jelly for your colonoscopy. But we'd already done jelly for you. We'd already done jellies last year's colonoscopy. Yeah, okay. Next year we'll do jellies again for the next year's colonoscopy.

People would have forgotten by then. Today, though. Vaughn, the other day, sent me a reel on the gram, and it was a chick talking about how. By the way, we send each other a lot of reels. Yeah. And then Fletch was like, I like reels too. So we made a new group

with Fletch in it too. He does nothing. You don't contribute. You don't even contribute great feedback. This is Shazay. I look at the reels and the TikToks

and I don't share any back. Yeah, because I don't reels or TikToks. I've had a guts full of you this week. You're a taker. I know. You are a taker.

You just lie there and take it. I'm like, God damn it, do something. I'm putting in all the effort here. Hayley and I are working you. Sometimes I'm a group chat lurker. I'll just take it all in. Big lurk.

I love the stuff you send. My contribution. Mine, Vaughn's. Mine, Vaughn's. Okay, well, over the weekend. Vaughn's, Vaughn's, Vaughn's, Vaughn's. Mine, Vaughn's, Vaughn's. Over the weekend, I'll make an effort to send you some lols clips.

Thank you. Okay? Good. Well, Vorn sent me one that was a girl saying how three times seven being 21 is so spot on. It's just perfect. Not that it's correct mathematically. It just looks right. That it clicks within your soul.

Yes, that feels good. And then she did a few other examples of like six times eight. That'll work. No. That's off. Five times five, 25. Delicious. Any of the squares, six times six, 36.

It looks like click, click, click. What's a square? Nine, nine, it's 81. We love it. A square number. It's where you times the number by itself and it would make a square. Yeah, I know what a six, one side, six, another side is 36. Okay, because I knew what a square number...

That's a square number. I knew that term, but I just didn't know what it meant. I went to a DeSalle 1 primary school. It's so embarrassing for you. What did you do for the rest of schooling? Like, you're putting all this on. I don't know a thing I learned about square numbers until intermediate. Yeah, look, I don't know.

You were so disadvantaged. Also, I know the right there there's, though. So, you know, there was some good. Some of the best brains come out of DeSole. You're painting it like it's a desert wasteland of education. DeSole ones, you've got some hard working. He was busy doing other things. He was flirting with the girls.

He was flirting with that. He was busy looking at boobies. Catch and kiss. Squeezing, seeing his first set of boobies. Playing ball rush. I had a great marble sketch. You're not supposed to kiss playing ball boobies. No, Bull Rush. Playing Bull Rush. I had a great Marbles collection too. You're not supposed to kiss playing Bull Rush.

No. No. Anyway. It was out there, Hawk and Marbles. Today we thought we should rank the times tables. Because obviously nine is right up there. Nine's a good, seven's are my favourite. Nine times nine, the number below nine is eight,

and eight plus one is nine, so it's 81. Nine times six is 54, because five plus four is 9 so it's 81. 9 times 6 is 54 because 5 plus 4 is 9. I mean when my mum taught me this I was like holy shit. 9 times 6 feels like it should be in the 30s though. No but you just go 1 down from 6 is 5 and 5 plus what is

9 is 554. Yeah. Now the 7 times tables baffle me. I love the 7s because it was the one I struggled with the most. So I wrote it on my hand and my dad was testing me and I was casually looking down at my hand to get the answers. And at the end, he's like, I know you've got it written on your hands. I was like, oh, no, I'm in trouble for cheating.

And he's like, but if that's what it's going to take so you remember it, that's fine. Like eight times six being 48 makes absolutely no sense. No, I like it. You like it. So for me, I'm like, that's well off. Do you like six times six? Six, six is 36.

Do you like that? We're done with the square numbers. We have said the square numbers are fine. I've got to swallow them. Okay, I'm going to start. I'm going to go number one for me is the nine times tables. Number two for me is the 11 times tables. 11 rules.

Until we get higher. Until we get higher. Until we start to get a little bit higher. No, but that's the fun one. Those are the fun ones. And then they get funky-dunky. Because then you put the numbers on either side and you add them together and that's the one. 11 times 12, you put the 1 and the 2

and then in the middle goes the 3 because 1 plus 2 is 3. Okay. Now, can I be basic and say for my third option the 2 times tables? Yes. Because that's kind of the first one you learn and it's fun.

2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20. I'm going to say I'll do my favourites 1, 11 and 5s. Were you one times tables, sir? Leave. What exam had the one times tables? The one times tables is called counting.

Sir, I'm going to ask you to leave. That's not a times table. It's a times table. One times one. My absolute one. Thank you. Favourite of all times times table is seven times eight equals 56. It's clunky to me.

No, that's clunky. Seven's sharp and then the five is a mixture of sharp angles and around and then the eight turns into the six and then you take that bit and you turn it into the equals. And then it goes and then you take that bit and you turn into the equals. And then it goes five, six, seven, eight. That is clunky. Yeah. Okay, what are you ranking?

I'm going nine, 11, two. And you're going one, five. And what? 11. 11. I'm going to go sevens. It's got to be nine, mate. I like the nines, but I'm not going. It's got to be five. It's got to be nine, mate. I like the nines, but I'm not going...

It's got to be five. It's got to be the fives. I was going to say four, but I've got a real problem with four times seven equaling 28. It's wrong. It should be in the 30s. No, it doesn't. Three times seven is 21, so four times that should be 36.

It's well into the 30s. It should be well into the 30s. It should be well up there. It should be 36. Yeah. Come on, Vaugh. It should be well into the 30s. It should be well up there. It should be 36. Yeah. Come on, Vaughan, you must do. Sevens is number one. Elevens is number two, because you're right.

Elevens is fun. It's good fun. It's a laugh. It's like the one-time tables for people that... Two, two, three, three, four. ...bothered to think. Yeah, I know. And do I like the sixes?

Oh, no, sixes is cocked. Six eights is 48, and that feels... I'm going to go eights, because eight eights... Eight eights being 64 shouldn't work, but it does.

Wow. It shouldn't work. Okay, just pick one. It's all round numbers, and then a jaggedy four. It doesn't matter. I think if all our powers combine, 11 wins.

11 wins. Yeah, best times table. Oh, man. Let's do some math, man. Let's just get together and have a couple of drinks and do some times tables. I did Indy's maths the other day. Oh, yeah. What is she up to at the moment? She's

up to the bed maths, where if something's in brackets, you have to solve that before you solve the equation. Yeah, that was good. What's like three times brackets this? You're like, you've got to do the brackets first. Brackets have no place in maths. Do you know what doesn't have a place in maths? Letters.

Yeah. X. Y. Get out. No, I like that. Tan. I just don't need to be able to solve it. I just like looking at it.

It's pretty. It's pretty. Maths is good art. Yeah, it is good art. I'm really trying to convince Sade to get some maths-based art pieces. You know what's that spiral? Thank God she rules over you with the interior design. Why?

Fubonici's equation. Mama Fiorelli's? Mama Fiorelli's garlic bread spirals. Fubonici's spiral! That'd be good artwork. A loaf of Mama Fiorelli's. It's nature's equation. No one's got more Taylor Swift tickets than ZM. That was us, right? We had the last

of them in the country. Taylor Swift sold out so quickly. So many people were left disappointed. Then we got a bunch of them and we got rid of those and then everyone was disappointed again who didn't get them. Yeah. It's been announced that she's released some new tickets. Our friends of ours have

flights and accommodation to Melbourne didn't get tickets. So many people are in that boat. Sydney, Melbourne Boy did they beg us to get them. We couldn't. It was not within our power. Well, today is the day more Taylor Swift tickets have been released. Melbourne and Sydney, released.

Well, I'm sorry. We should say are about to be released. About to be released. Yes. And here's the way that it works. It's interesting because there's the waiting room thing, right? And you've got to get in. Remember, I tried to do it for Paramore and I entered the waiting room wrong.

I missed out. Yep. Luckily, we had a hookup. Paramore and I entered the waiting room wrong. I messed up. Yep. Luckily, we had a hookup. Now we're going. But this is interesting. It's kind of a strange way. You head into the lounge for the waiting room area, but everyone in the lounge has an equal opportunity

to obtain these tickets. Right. So whether you enter the lounge at 10 a.m. or 11 a.m., you're in the same lounge. Right. Then whether you enter the lounge at 10 a.m. or 11 a.m., you're in the same lounge. Right. Then someone gets picked. Claw machine picks you up. You go in.

You get your tickets. You leave. Claw machine comes back, picks someone else from the lounge. What? So it's not a queue. One at a time. It's not a queue.

A claw machine. Basically, a metaphorical claw machine. Oh, my God. Because I was like, she does wild stuff. She just had this giant claw machine. Wait, you're not doing one at a time, are they? I'm not quite sure. I'm going to head to Karwin on this

because she is the master of obtaining tailored tickets. She's also got a million tickets to these shows and is resented by fans that do not have a single ticket. I don't have a million. She bought out the stadium. But your friends did try and get some of mine. I know. I heard them chatting to you.

I was like, you have no chance, but I love to watch it anyway. I appreciated the hustle. It wasn't going to work. So do you understand how this works, the system, picking someone out of the pool? Yeah, so they say that it's not randomized, but then they say that it's not a queue. So if you've been on the site overnight,

it's not going to help you. And I'll be honest, when I got my tickets, it was when I decided to have my laptop on the queue for hours in advance. Those ones didn't get through. It was the phone, my cell phone, that got through that I entered during the time. Wow, okay. Yeah, so that's the thing. We said panic, but it's actually don't. You just need to be in the pool, in the queue, in the system by a certain time.

Then they'll start to drag you out. So they're saying it's not randomised, but it is. Now, also, a lot of people are like, how are there all of a sudden extra tickets when it's sold out? A lot of these are that they're releasing partial they're releasing partial views? Yeah, obscured views. Obscured? So you take it right, you take it. Yeah, so obviously, because you want to be there, the vibe is the fun part. It's the vibe. I've got

the map of the ones that they've added. There are a few to the side of the stage, but there are also a few that are to the side on a diagonal. And now anyone that's been watching the Errors Tour on TikTok, on YouTube, whatever, internationally, there are some tickets that are behind the stage, basically. But it's a vibe.

Like, people are partying there, man. You're still listening. She puts up a screen. There's still a screen. Yeah, but you can't see her. I know. I know, but you're there, hon. You're here.

It is a tough one. They are 80, I think, Australian dollars is what they're kind of going for. So it's not too bad. Right. But also, your view is going to be a tough one. They are 80, I think, Australian dollars is what they're kind of going for. So it's not too bad. Right. But also your view is going to be a bit different. Although these are the tickets that people spot Taylor getting onto the stage from. So you get that.

Oh, okay. I mean, you'd just rather be there, right? Yeah. It's the vibe. Even if you've got a metal pole in front of you or something. So they're saying the computer that will pick you out to buy tickets does not care how long you've been around. So to go, as you say, to go on and be in the lounge, to wait on the website will have no

power. The lounge is only open 10 minutes before the tickets will go on sale. So you just 10 minutes before, get in there and you've got as much chance as anyone else. Okay, so two different times today for ticket sales. The Melbourne tickets will go on sale. 6pm our time. 6pm New Zealand time. And the Sydney ones?

12pm our time. Right. So $5.50 and $11.50. As long as you're in the lounge. You've got to pre-register as well. I mean, you probably already are if you missed out last time. Yeah. But yeah, those are the times.

6 o'clock for Melbourne. Midday for those last Taylor Swift Australia tickets today. Yeah. And then what happened to the resale tickets? Like the people that ended up buying too many. So that's the thing. We're still waiting. It was supposed to be in September.

It's still not been announced. I think maybe they have been waiting to do these obscured tickets, possibly. Right. But hopefully anytime soon now, right? Okay. There's only a few hundred days till the concert. I have a countdown on my phone. A few hundred days.

A few hundred days. Otherwise, no one knows what... Three months and six days, according to my countdown. Oh, okay. That's not bad. It's just over a hundred days. So there's a little tiny slither of hope today at midday and six. Good luck out there.

All those details are at ZM Online. Next on the show... Next on the show. Next on the show, the list of names that are going extinct. Hey, if you're a 90s kid like me, we're going to see less and less of ourselves out there. Oh, R.O.P. Hayley. Yeah. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Okay, so there are names that are going extinct. And this happens all the time, right? At some point, Patsy was a hot name to be called. Your mum's name, yeah. My mum's name. And then suddenly, I don't know a lot of baby Patsys.

You, you, you. I love Patsy. When Noah Patsy. Turned 37 yesterday. Yeah. But I remember when I first met her, I was like, you don't know of many young Patsys. No, no, that would probably be the youngest Patsy? Turned 37 yesterday. Yeah. But I remember when I first met her, I was like, you don't know of many young Patsys. No, no.

That would probably be the youngest Patsy I know of. Right. Well, names that are going extinct now are more of your 90s names as we move into the next sort of era of names. Is that because those people have the kids and they're like, oh, I don't want to call them anything from the 90s? Yeah, or they grew up with too many Haley's and Rebecca's and Angela's. God, there's a lot of Haley's.

I literally know a Haley in every facet of my life. I feel it was the Charlotte of the 90s. Yeah, right, yeah. Haley. Yeah. Yeah. The Olivia before Olivia's. Yes.

Yeah. Rachel was a real, maybe Rachel was 80s. More 80s and 90s, yeah. So in the 90s, names like Sarah, Jennifer. Lots of Sarahs. Were everywhere. Jennifer was number four back in the 90s of the most popular baby names of all times. This year, it came in at 147.

Wow. Oh, wow. Okay. So it's dropping on the list. And everyone's just called Olivia now. Yep. I guess. Wow. Oh, wow. Okay. So, like, it's dropping on the list. And everyone's just called Olivia now, I guess. Yep. Basically, like, your Beckys, your Rebeccas, your Sarahs, your Jennifers, even Thomas, that's going down. Lucy is even going down.

I feel like Lucy's so timeless. Yeah, that's timeless. Yeah. I thought Lucy was coming back. So then you've got like, so now we've got either two sides of the spectrum, which is really quirky names. Yeah. Like, I was going to say Flowrider.

I mean, that would be quirky. Yeah, yeah, sure. But yeah, your Flalaling Majestic Blossom. Yeah. Or your old school names like Charles, Sylvia, Florence, they're kind of coming back. But all your sort of stock standard Janes, Emmas, Hayleys are going way down. Are going way down. And that is a sign that we are getting older. And at some point, people stopped being called Maud and Phyllis and Bronwyn and Edith.

So I wanted to know if we could take some calls from these people that have an old person's name, but they're young. They have kind of buffed the trend of naming. We talked the other day about... There were just less names back in the day too.

Yeah. Or you just name them names, whereas we name kids Apple. Like a Kevin. If you met a Kevin who was 22, you'd be like, that's weird, eh? Imagine little baby Keith. Yeah. We talked the other day, Matt Heath's beautiful son is Barry, and I love that because I used to work with Barry's mum,

and I was always like, Barry, that rules. If you met a Barry in their 20s, you'd be like, that's weird. How interesting. You'd be into it, yeah. So I want to know, do you have an old person's name, but you aren't old? We're talking Maud. We're talking Marge.

Karen? I've got a friend in her early 30s. I just go to the top names of 1923, so 100 years ago. Okay, give us those. Margaret, Joan, Mary, Dorothy, Kathleen, Eileen, Phyllis, Audrey, Doreen. I had an Auntie Doreen. Yep. She was the one that grabbed my arm before I got married

and looked me in the eyes and said, remember, it's forever. Jesus. Did she cast a spell on you? It really bet. Sade said it haunted her. Good lord. But maybe she did. She cast a spell and it means it is forever. Okay, give us a call. 0800 dials at Emma's our number. 9696

to text through. Do you have an old person's name, but you are not old? Well, Hayley's name is becoming extinct. Yeah, Hayley, Emma, Sarah, Jackie, Jennifer, we're all gone. Not cool anymore. Yeah, all the 90s names. When I'm an old lady, it'll be like,

oh, what's your nana's name? Oh my god, that means I have to have kids. Okay. What's your great auntie's name? And it'll be like, Hayley. It'll be like, oh, that's so classic. What's your alcoholic auntie's name and it'll be like, Hayley, you'll be like, oh, that's so classic. What's your alcoholic auntie's name? It was Hayley. She had a good time.

Not a long time. Good time and a short time. So Jessica's, Sarah's, Hannah's, Samantha's, Emma's, Olivia's,

George's, Emily's, Laura's, Rebecca's, those were your top names of the 90s. All going downhill. Kylie, you've got a one-year-old son.

What's your son called? Hi, his name is Julian. Oh. I love Julian. I didn't think it was that old school, but every time I tell someone, they're like, wow, that's old. I feel like that was also a big guy's name in the 90s as well. Yes, I knew a lot of Julians. Yes, it was.

Yeah. Yes. I quite like Julian. It doesn't... It's not like a really old school name like Barry or Keith. No, but it's going. Where did you get it from? It was passed down by his father from one of his father's friends.

Yeah, nice, nice, nice. I thought it was King Julian from Madagascar. Who likes to move it, move it? Kylie, thank you. Nikita, the same thing. What have you called your son? My son's name is Gordon. Oh, I like that.

Dude, great name. Nickname Gordo. I either think of Gordon Ramsay or Gordo from Lizzie McGuire. Yes, brilliant. Nikita, thank you. Olivia, your husband has an old person's name despite being 27. Yes, he does. His name is Earl.

Earl. Earl. I feel like that's also quite timeless though, don't you reckon? Or nah? Nah. It's not? Earl. Because that TV show My Name Is Earl was like comically named

Earl. That's right. Does he go by Earl or does he have a nickname? No, everyone calls him Earl. How do you shorten Earl? Is he early? Early. Oh, get out. Sorry about him. Sorry, Fletch is a bit off today. I don't know what's wrong with him.

Ever since he said his favourite times tables are the one times tables. Because it's easy Vaughan. Jeez, cut me some slack. Olivia, thank you. Our love to Earl. Our love to Earl. Our love to Earl. Who hopefully is Earl Lee.

Get out. Get out. Get out. Do you want to start our own show, Vaughan? Yeah. I'd love to see who's going to push the buttons. Oh, like it's hard? We won't have buttons.

Oh, like it's hard? We'll just talk over the songs like this. Yeah. And people will hate it. It'll be hard to understand who's talking and who's singing. We want to know if you are a young person with an old person's name. Because all the 90s kids, we're the next on the chopping block for names gone. Hayley, very late 80s, early 90s name.

Denise. Hello, Denise. Hello. Hello, 29-year-old Denise. Wow. I know. I know people question me all the time. I've never met another young Denise in my life. Yeah, I know a lot of older Denises. If you're a Denise listening and you're under 29, please call now because Denise would love to know that she's got someone else out there. A fellow Denise. She is who's struggling. Yeah don't, yeah, you're right. I don't think I've ever met, like, when you meet people, like,

in a work thing or whatever and they meet you, are they like, oh, I wasn't expecting you to be young? 100%, yeah. I have just sort of, yeah. So, yeah. You have to be like, yep, well, I'm Denise. Yeah, it's my actual name. I usually just say, like, Dee.

Like, my friends will call me Dee or Denny. Like, I've got a few nicknames. Or Den I'm Denise. Yeah, it's my actual name. I usually just say, like, Dee. Like, my friends will call me Dee or Denny. Like, I've got a few nicknames. Oh, Denny, yeah. Like, I don't know if you like Denise, but yeah. Or DJ, because my middle name's Joy. Oh, DJ's cute. Joy, your middle name's Joy. That's also...

Denise Joy. That's also, like, a real 80s, 90s name, too. Oh, my God, I love this Denise Joy. I mean, I'm from Hayley Jane to Denise Joy. We've got some ageing names. I love that. Yeah. Wow. Do you go... So, you like DJ... Do you go Den? I mean, from Hayley Jane to Denise Joy, we've got some ageing names. I love that. Wow.

Do you go, so you like DJ, do you go Den? Den, yes, Den. Because my godfather's Dennis, and we call him Den. Oh, wow. And Joy came from my grandmother Joyce, which is obviously another really old name. Joyce is her, yeah. Somebody messaged in there, sister-in-law is Denise, she's 27. There you go, Denise. Oh, there you go.

We could hook you up. There you go. We can hook you up. There you go. Get together. Awesome. Hey, thank you. Denise, have a great weekend. Some messages in. Thank you, ma'am.

I have a young cousin called Bertha. Bertha! No. And yesterday I met a baby called Murray. Murray! That feels like a big Aaron move. If we had a kid and I was still unconscious from giving birth, you'd get put to sleep, eh?

Nah. Oh, okay. Well, sometimes. I'd wake up at Aaron and be like, I've named our boy. Muzza. Murray. Murray. Yeah.

I have a six-year-old niece called Edith. Wow, that was my grandma's name. My nephew's called Benson. He's five. Benson and Hedges. Maybe after Benson and Hedges. My friend named her two-year-old Dorothy. Oh, I love Dorothy. Dot. Yeah, dot.

Edith, somebody said. I'm under 20. My name is Edith. Wow. My son's name is Douglas and our neighbour's kids are Stanley and Arthur. And when you're like, Douglas, Stanley, Arthur, it sounds like you're talking to a bunch of old retired men. Or calling like the knights to the round table. Yes.

Play Zed-N's Fletchford and Ailey. Play Zed-N. Well, I'm back. Did you miss me yesterday? The answer was yes. Had a colonoscopy. Didn't give us a chance to answer, but okay. Now, you will remember last year's colonoscopy. Didn't give us a chance to answer, but okay. Now you will remember

last year's colonoscopy, I was very chatty. This is when you were waking up after the procedure on the propofol drug. Propofol, and you don't know what you've said and then they kind of tell you and I told them to look up Ryan Phillippe's penis and then yesterday I was worried I was going to do it again because I got

into the room and I told them that I was really looking forward to my propofol sleep. And I said, apparently last year, I said, do you remember what I said? And they were like, no. And I said, I told you to look up. They literally do just a huge line of colonoscopy patients every single day. She's like, do you guys remember me? They did remember me because what was awesome about it was that my doctor, Dr. Nathan,

he was like, do you know what? I just thought the other day, I wonder how Hayley's doing because he doesn't look ahead to see who's in his last. Oh yeah. And he said,

I tuned in, you were talking about getting colonoscopy. He said, I almost felt offended because I thought you'd broken up with me and then I looked at my book and saw it was you tomorrow and I was like,

nah man, I'm not leaving you. And because he'd listened to me talk about it and yeah, so I told them all about my last year's one and I was like, no, man, I'm not leaving you. Because he'd listened to me talk about it. And, yeah, so I told them all about my last year's one and I was excited. This year, apparently, I was less sexual. Less chatty? I woke up and I sort of was coming to,

as I was telling the nurse who was by my side, God, you're beautiful. Oh, my God, Hayley. You look just like Tony Street. Now that's a big compliment to Tony Street, who I do find is a very beautiful woman. And I kept telling her, God, you just look like Tony Street. She's like, yes, I know you've said that.

She spat on my windscreen the other day. Yeah, and she punched me in the face once. She's a terrible woman. She's incredibly violent. You cannot sell the most lovely person in media. You just can't do it. She's a terrible woman but she's incredibly violent. You cannot sell though. the most lovely person in media. You just can't do it.

She stole it from me. And it wasn't just like it was like on my windscreen. Yeah. She once punched me. She mugged me. The wipers didn't get it off.

She was having a chat with me in the hallway once and she was like how are you going? How are you finding morning radio? And I looked and my wallet was gone.

It was Tony Street. But I will give it she mugs for charity. And then she gave it to charity. Yeah, right. You'll never sully her. It's a Robin Hood situation. You'll never sully her with these false allegations.

Did she even look like Tony Street, this news? She was blonde, pretty, like, yes, she kind of looked like Tony Street. But as I was coming to her, I was like, I've got to stop talking about Tony Street. Now, before I even went in, right, because you do the prep the day before, and that kind of went well,

but I woke up and I was still going to the bathroom, shall we say, and that shouldn't be happening. And you have to have a really clear bowel for them to be able to see everything. So I got there and the nurse comes in. It'd be like submarining in a murky, you know, the Whanganui River. Yes, exactly.

You wouldn't see anything. It's like you're in the river and you can go through it. Yeah. However, you can't see anything. So when I got there, I said to the nurse, they come in first, the nurse comes and she's like, how'd you prep go? And I said, oh, look, I don't think I've quite reached the stage. And they give you a colour of what should be coming out.

And I was like, I'm not quite there. So she said, oh, Hon, I'm going to have to give you an enema. I've never had an enema before. But they pop a little funnel up your bum. I've had, I haven't had an enema, I've had a colon cleanse where they pump the water up. Yeah, this is like that, but it's like 100 mil of water, not a hose fill.

A douche. It's a douche. It's a douche. It's a douche. How do you know about those? Get around. Heard on the internet. In the internet. Heard on the internet.

Jeez, someone panicked for an answer. Heard on the internet. Heard on the internet. On www.douche.com So I had to get an enema to give a final flush so the doctors can do what they are there to do. And

I got my robe, bra off, undies off, and naked in the robe, and she took me into a little room, lie on my side, and she goes, alright, Hayley. Hayley! Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. And I said, yes! That's what you want before she's about to stick something up your bottom.

I said, yes! Nice to meet you in this way. And she said, oh god, she rolled her eyes as a flare. Nothing new to me. And she said, so, did you go to work this morning? And I said, no, no, no, the boys will be on air now. She said oh god she rolled her eyes as a fly nothing new to me yeah and she said so did you go to work this morning and i said no no the boys will be on air now she said god i'll be running a bloody muck let's pop them on this is a radio going in the in the theater right and i was like okay she pops them on and then i hear vaughn's voice guessing your mum's name. This is post 8 o'clock.

This is what we did this time yesterday. They can't guess your mum's name. So she pops him on and I'm listening. I was like, there's the boys. While she inserts a funnel into my anus and flushes it out. I'm listening to my good friend Vaughn Smith. You're like a car on the side of the road and she's popped the funnel in and it's just like glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.

I know, well. Just enough to get you to the gas station. Well, you guys are having fun without me. Yeah. Anyway, God, it was bloody surreal this was happening. I bet, yeah. And I was listening and I was like,

that was the most vulnerable part because I'm not asleep for that part. Then I was asleep for the rest of it. It was a good day. And then, oh God, Propofol, what a delightful sleep. But I will say, I have to, while I've got you,

you've got to get stuff checked. They found a lot of stuff. And apparently I've got this serrated polyps syndrome where my body is making polyps at a rapid rate. You're a polyp-making machine. I'm a polyp-making machine. Thank you very much. He said, it's just like growing hair.

And I said, well well I actually struggle with that He said well you're not struggling with growing polyps And then I was doolelly When I was coming out of it That's the best Yeah I know I just felt like heaven on earth I was like someone bring me a tequila

Yeah you messaged our group chat saying I feel like I could go to a concert right now They saw me messaging you guys And he was like hey I might hold off I was like nah it's just my mates don't. They got Aaron in to be like, we need to tell you this information with Aaron. And then I was like, wait, am I concerned? And not really, but they found a whole bunch of polyps and I make these polyps quickly. And it gave it to you straight as if you ignore them, they'll turn into colon cancer, basically. And so I'm just so lucky

that I've discovered them now. I've got to go back each year and get them removed because I'm making the Ming green polyp machine and get them out. So if you've got them now. I've got to go back each year and get them removed because I'm making the Ming green polyp machine and get them out. So if you've got any concerns, you've got to go get checked. I just did a pap smear. Same thing. I had dodgy cells a number of years back. If I didn't get a pap smear, that would have taken me out.

If I didn't get this colonoscopy, that would take me out eventually. And instead, knowledge is power. I'm saving myself. Your drinking is going to take you out. Instead, I'm going to relax the drinking. Feels like a real final destination.

You should have heard me. You can keep your eye on that. When he told me about the syndrome, I was like, what are any lifestyle changes that anything I need to be doing?

No, no, no. It's just totally random. I was like, I can keep being a dirt bag. No, I don't think so. I think he just assumed you weren't being a dirt bag. He was expecting you.

He knows I'm a dirtbag. He thought you wanted to know about more chicken, less red meat or anything like that. Not, can I still slam Prosecco at an alarming rate? My PSA is get yourself checked if you think anything's wrong with your body. Absolutely. Save your life and it's not that embarrassing. No.

And you might get pro-po-po. Oh my gosh. I know we shouldn't make light of that drug. Killed Michael Jackson, right? Yes, it is. Lifestyle killed Michael Jackson. Yes. A sketchy doctor killed Michael Jackson.

But if you've got to go under, because I had that other stuff and it disagreed with me. Yeah, right. And so I was scared of that sort of light anesthetic or whatever it's called. And then they gave me the propofol and it relieved all of my... Just go into surgery and ask for the Sproul Special.

Don't waste your time on that other shit. Ask them for Probe-A-File. The Sproul Special. Back of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's Fact of the Day in the final Bird of the Century week. I'm loving this. I'm just so torn, though, that your Fact of the Day week has not. Have you?

Yeah. What's going to be your fact of the week, day, week has not... Have you? Yeah. What's going to be your bird of the century? It's the bird that we will be looking at in today's fact of the day. Okay. It's also won two times before. So I think it's one... Nope. That's only won once, I believe, the Ketidu.

Let me just confirm that. 2018 was the year of the Ketidu. My vote is for the 2020 champion and also the 2008 champion. No, 2020 is too recent, hon. He can't win again. But it is the bird of the century. We're not voting for the, it is the kakapo. The kakapo rules.

The kakapo rules. And that's why I will be voting for it. And here's some facts about the beautiful kakapo. Now is this the one that gets your windscreen wipers when you park up? That's the Kia. Same-ish colour but this one can't fly. Classic Kiwi bird. Classic. It's

the only flightless parrot because it fits into the genus of parrots. It is by all but its inability to fly a parrot. Is that because it's into the genus of parrots. It is by all but its inability to fly a parrot. Is that because it's too heavy and it's got short wings? Well, it's just evolved to be. And it is. It's one of the only birds that can store energy as fat.

Oh. So it like eats, eats, eats. I can do that. I'm a bird. I'm a bird. Technically, I'm a couple of birds who can store energy as fat. A couple of birds here ready for hibernation. I am ready.

A couple of little storage of energy right on the front here. A couple a little bit higher. Yeah. A couple of saddlebags on the side here. I'm ready to go, baby. I've got energy stored. Mate, flip me over. Look behind.

I'm ready for a year. Unfortunately, I'm not stacking it in the back. Yeah. So many amazing things about this bird. It's one of the longest living birds and can naturally live to over 90 years old. Oh, wow. Shut up.

Yeah. Shut up. Shut up. Shut your silly mouth. They are about 60 centimetres tall, so they're bigger than I thought they were, and also weigh up to four and a half kgs. That's massive.

Which is massive and very heavy for a bird, but that's why they can't fly. Well, hence why I can't even get off the ground. It's like, you know, overloading a plane that has crashed at the end of a runway. Yeah. They don't even intend to take off. It's like if your plane just crawled.

You were in a plane on the motorway. How are they even still around if they can't fly? Surely the predators know them up. Not only the fact that they, well, they were nearly eliminated. They were one of our other success stories. While still critically endangered,

they were literally on the verge of extinction in a breeding program because... They were tasty? Tasty to predators. Yeah. Friendly.

Oh. Like they're friendly birds. Yeah, okay. And when they freak out, they stand still. Like a chicken. They camouflage. Yeah, they freak and they try to camouflage.

And they smell nice. Do they? What do they smell like? They've got a really well-developed sense of smell that they use for mating. And so they smell, have this nice, musky, musty, sweet odor. So other kakapo can smell them. But also, unfortunately, when rats and dogs and cats arrive, they could also smell them from a mile off. Is it like a lush

snow fairy? Because that's a good one. That's a good smell. No, it's more musty. Musty. Sweet. Okay. Probably like one of those nice ones, like those cigar and sandalwood candles. Yeah. Sort of the more masculine smelling candle. Okay. Here's the coolest

part about the kakapo. Is this what secured your vote? This is what secured it. During the coolest part about the kakapo. Is this what secured your vote? This is what secured it. During the breeding season, male kakapo will walk up to eight kilometres to reach a special arena where they compete against each other for the attention of females. Like the gladiator. Like gladiator.

A cross between gladiator and the bachelorette. Okay, great. She rocks up. The male digs a bowl in the ground. Not a hole. A bowl. Yep. Like an arena.

Is this the arena? This is the arena. He digs a shallow hole, a bowl, next to rock faces because he is about to start making his mating call. Oh, yeah. I love it when they set the stage. Oh, and it echoes. And it echoes off

the rock faces so the reason they go to the special when you put your phone in a glass yeah because you don't have a speaker

when you finish your chips you put your phone in the chip bowl and then we all enjoy the music so they evolved to always go to the breeding arena

because of this rock face that can bounce bounce their sound out far and wide and attract the honeys we should give them a Huey boom dude yeah a little mic or one of those sprooky microphones yeah the little karaoke mics welcome to JB Bounce their sound out far and wide and attract the honeys. We should give them a Huey boom. Dude, yeah.

A little mic. Or one of those sprooky microphones. Yeah, the little karaoke mics. Welcome to JB Hi-Fi. We've got a big special on today. Come on in. Buy CDs. What?

You guys don't buy CDs anymore. Why do we stock so many CDs? JB Hi-Fi. Wow. So they'll go, they do booms. I've got the boom to play for you as well. And then they will change to a more high pitched

metallic chinging and they'll go for eight hours a night eight hours a night hold on let me I've got a million tabs open I'm very excited

about the kakapo okay you could be selling me on this by the way you're fighting for a vote here Vaughan there's a boom that's his boom

I know it sounds like you left your phone on the bench and it's vibrating. And you know how sometimes you hear the vibrate from miles away? It's that low bassy tone. Because this is the only way all those kakapos are turning up at my apartment. Yeah. Because I left my phone on the bench.

When you're snoozing in the morning, it's going... And the kakapo are like... I believe we're about to start hearing the chinging. In your own time. Rangi. Oh, yeah. He's got range. He's got Mariah Carey level range there.

The booms to the squeaks. Mariah Carey level... Without the number one singles. Without the Christmas single. Yeah, without the Christmas single. Only because they probably haven't tried. Yeah. Fantastic. I think you've won me over on that one Only because they probably haven't tried. Yeah. Fantastic.

I think you've won me over on that one. No, you're leaving the Ketadu team. I think that's where I'm going. I think Ketadu will be my... Because for me, that's the bird I enjoy the most. Yeah, I know. I love when they fly over. When they come to my house, I'm like...

But that's only because you haven't seen a kakapo. I have never seen a kakapo with my eyes. You know, here's another thing about the kakapo. It's got an owl's face. Yeah, it's pretty cute. It's got an owl's face. Yeah, it's pretty cute. It's got an owl's face. It's pretty cute. Well, vote because I'm guessing that voting closes, what, this weekend?

Yep, yep, yep. Last couple of days. So today's fact of the day about the kakapo is that the male kakapo will attend a gladiator-style bachelorette audition at a special breeding arena to win the heart of a possible female mate. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I've received a message on my Instagram that I would like to share. So you're going to read this message out and then we're going to take some calls.

On what people think that this person should do. Okay. I shall read it anonymously. Okay. Anonymously. Hey Hayley, spelt correctly. Thank you. It's in my profile.

Just a word? It's someone that doesn't have a name. I mean, my name can be spelt with a K, my first name. I don't care if, like, why is it such a big, you and Vaughn are both so pedantic about people spelling your name wrong. Because I really don't like

the way H-A-L-E-Y. You say a K. Yeah, how often does that happen? Never. Yesterday, literally, a guy was like, and what name should I put it under? And I was like, Vaughn, V-A-U-G-H-A-N. And he went V-A-U-G-H-N. And then he looked at me and he looked at, it was on a computer and he's like, oh, a guy was like, and what name should I put it under? And I was like, Vaughan, V-A-U-G-H-A-N. And he went, V-A-U-G-H-N. And then he looked at me and he looked at, it was on a computer and he's like, oh, spell that wrong.

I was like, ha ha, yeah. And he went, oh well. And I was like, you what? Put the A back in. You son of a. Okay. Hey, Hayley, H-A-Y-L-E-Y. Hoping for some advice from a fellow fiance.

Okay. My partner and I have been together for three years. Okay. Hayley already. I waited nine. I waited nine. You waited nine. Yep.

Still waiting. I waited nine. You don't want to rush these things. I've got engaged and I've waited four more. Yeah. You don't want to rush these things. You don't want to rush it, but you also don't. Anyway, I love him.

Me and my fiancé, me and my partner have been together for three years. We're engaged to marry with the wedding next year. Sorry, I'm just really struggling through this message. I'm happy for you, Hon. I love my man and I trust him with my life. But I have this niggling feeling about wanting to get a prenup. I've always had a bit of money and a bit more money than my partner as I have quite a well-paying job.

And when I see myself being with him forever, I can't help but want a future proof just in case. Help. How do I bring it up to my fiancé without hurting his feelings that I want a prenup? So she's got a little nest egg. And she wants him to not be able to have it. I've got bad news.

He's already entitled to it. You've been together three years. I know you could sign something now that says that I agree, I won't take it if we were to split up. You can do that at any point. But if you pull out the prenup and it all goes sour and he's not signed that. He'll leave you and take it already.

Yeah, but this is a man who literally just proposed to you. Yeah. And that you, you know, you think he's a decent person and you want to spend the rest of your life with him. I think you'll be surprised. I'm talking to one of our friends who's a lawyer a while ago about this. He said it's quite common, but it is that initial conversation that does not go down well with some people.

Yeah, totally. I mean, me and Aaron don't have any agreement, even though when we bought our first house, Aaron paid for, like like literally all of it yeah you know and you just I don't know life kind of goes on and you just don't talk about these things

and I don't plan on leaving Aaron and he doesn't plan on leaving me so we're fine so we're fine and everything's fine but it is awkward because it feels like you're saying, I don't want to commit to you forever because you're future-proofing for a breakup that

your marriage is saying that you don't intend to do, but also life is life and it happens. But then you're also saying, if I'm with you forever, you're going to get it all anyway if I die. Yeah, totally. If we stay together like this is our house, this is our money, I'm going to spend it on us.

Yeah. But if we were to split, I want to know that I get that money that I worked hard for. Which I personally wouldn't have a problem with, because if you come into the relationship with less, I don't expect to leave with more. But by the law, Fletch, it's not how it works. After two years, you're entitled to half. Whether you came in with lots or nothing or you paid

for more, you paid more than mortgage. The trick is to have nothing. Holla, we want prenup. Yeah, or just so much debt. Holla, we want prenup. So much debt that you know they love you for you. Yeah. Prenups can be pretty full on or they can be very casual as well. You can say, oh, well, you know what we entered the relationship with,

we'd like to get back, but everything we accumulated together will split. Yeah, that's true. And then some of them also have like cheating clauses. So if they cheat, they get nothing. Yes. Is that a thing? Yes, we split everything 50-50 unless our split comes from one of us cheating, in which case the person who cheated doesn't get that.

Yeah. A cheating clause. A cheating clause. I know, but then you're like, how are we entering this marriage? One of the less popular members of the clause family. Santa, we've got Mrs. Yeah, and cheating.

And then cheating. And then cheating. Okay, well, let's take some calls. Ho, ho, ho, it's me, cheating clause. I've been out big bro. And when I say ho, ho, ho, I talk about me. 0800 DARS at M. We want to take your calls.

Let's get some help for this listener. We want some help, but also if you've been in a similar situation, maybe you have been the person that has ignited the conversation about getting a prenup. How'd you go about it? Any words of advice for our anonymous messenger? Did someone try and get you into a prenup or vice versa, or did it not go down well when you brought it up?

Give us your prenup stories, and it may help our listener here. I've received an email from a listener about wanting to bring up the prenup conversation with her fiancé before they get married. What does she do? How does she do it without offending him? Have you been in a similar situation before? Adele, you have been in a similar situation.

Yeah, I have. So me and my now husband of nearly seven years had a house. Oh no. Oh. We lost you, we lost you,

but you're back. Sorry again. So you got engaged. Yeah, so we've been together for a few years. He bought a house that we both moved into, and it was just solely his money. It was all him that bought it. Yeah.

And his mum has a bit of a trust fund for herself from a family situation. So she was like, oh, you know, get a prenup, get a prenup, when we got engaged. And he was just like, I don't want, get a prenup, get a prenup. When we got engaged and he was just like, I don't want to get a prenup. Like, we're living together already.

We've been together for three, over three years. Like, it doesn't mean anything. We already know what we've got, where we've come from and we kind of had

that discussion ourselves personally of like, look, if something was to happen and we broke up, I'd move out. It's your house. You bought it.

Yeah. You say that, but then he cheats on you with, you know, the hotter version of you, and then I'm taking it for half his worth. Different story then. Nice house. Nice house. If someone was to take half of it.

He wouldn't. Sorry. We've now been seven years and two kids later, and we're still in the same house, and the mother-in-law just deals with it. Wow. Yeah, just deals with it. So you decided not to.

Yeah, he was like, I don't want you to, like, we don't need to sign a prenup. We know we've talked about it. Wow. Yeah, just deals with it. So you just, you decided not to. Yeah, he was like, I don't want you to, like, we don't need to sign a prenup. We know, we've talked about it. We have that conversation. In 10 years,

if it was a different story and like we had kids and stuff, then it would be a different story but would settle that. See, I'm with you. I feel the same but things do change.

Yeah, people do. Things sour. Yeah. Just takes a year. All right. Thank you, Mike. What do you reckon our listeners should do? Depends where you are in life, which is not going to really answer your question.

I think if it's a first property or a first relationship, I think that, you know, depending on how much has got stashed away, you know, water things down over time quite quickly. So if you've got about $30,000, I'd let it slide because you're going in equal. However, like in my situation, if I have a property already and there's kids involved, I'd probably want to pre-op and I'm a bit later in life. So, yeah, it just depends where you're at. Because you also go, if something was to, you want your house eventually to go to your kids, right?

Not some Sheila who comes in. Last minute, Mike. Thank you. So many messages Coming through Really Some wise listeners I was just about to say

The philosophical notes Of some of these It's important to remember That you divorce a stranger Not the person you love What Oh I've never heard that before

Neither have I Isn't that deep Well divorce Motivational divorce Quotes don't really go well On lounge walls Yeah Love love love Like Remember you divorce a stranger Not the one you love motivational divorce quotes don't really go well on lounge walls. Yeah. Love, love, love.

Remember that you divorce a stranger, not the one you love. That would actually be quite cool to get printed up to make it look like a motivational one. Getting words of wisdom on how to approach a partner about a prenup. Yeah, how do you bring that up? How do you bring it up? Did you do it? Did it go wrong? How did you do it?

Give us your advice. Catherine, what do you bring it up? Did you do it? Did it go wrong? How did you do it? Give us your advice. Catherine, what do you reckon? Okay, I know it's a really hard conversation to have, but I think it goes back to the point that marriage is a contract and you really say, Do people say you're romantic, Catherine? She's not wrong because the initial purpose of marriage as we know it was to marry your child to another rich family's child.

And then you're like, now our goods and our lands and our castles stay with an owl family. And then they were like, poor people were like, can we do it too? Like, knock yourself out. But yeah, I think if you're getting into a contract, you want to make sure you guys are on the same terms, and especially with money. Like, yes, you love the person, but if you love the person,

even if things turn to custard and, like, maybe they never turn to custard, obviously. Yeah, you still want your house that you brought into it. Or all of your KiwiSaver. Or whatever. Yeah. Catherine, where is your accent from? Southland.

Southland. No. Literally New Zealand. No, but where in New Zealand? Are from? Southland Literally New Zealand No, but where in New Zealand? Are you from Southland? Wellington You can totally ask You watched too much YouTube growing up Yeah, I actually saw that before

It was like when my kids used to watch Peppa Pig and they'd come into the lounge and be like Daddy, can I please have a Daddy, it's not me pig Yeah, no, that's not me. Wow. Catherine, wise words. Thank you so much.

Wise words from us. Have a great weekend. Anonymous, what should our anonymous listener do? Get a prenup or what? Absolutely get a prenup. So I hate it where it's both gone wrong and where it's gone right. Okay.

How did it go wrong with a prenup? So I was with this guy for 10 years. We were married. We had everything. It was very equal. Did you have a jet ski? Didn't have a jet ski. It's only the one thing we didn't have.

Did you have a spa pole? We did have a spa pole. Oh, God, that sounds good. I only dream of having a spa pole. Did you have a retractable walk clothesline? Oh, we did. We did. We don't need to run through their list of chattels.

We don't need your chattels, Tom. God's sake. Did you have blackout curtains? Oh, for God's sake. Ignore them. Did you have a range hood? Did you have an encyclerator? You definitely had an encyclerator.

So how did it go wrong? Ten years together. Anyway. We had, so we didn't have a prenup. We were very equal. And then I came into quite a bit of money. And that was when our relationship changed. Wait a minute. I want to ask how.

I want to ask how. Do you mind us asking how you came into money? I'd rather not go into that. Was it like a win or like an inheritance or a pay rise? It was a win. I love the synonymous.

Oh my god. Wouldn't that be considered your money? Like a collective? No, because this was something that I was doing on my own and we always recognised as doing it on my own. But again, it was one of those things that we'd only discussed.

We'd never put it on paper. And I think it was because we never thought it was going to happen. Of course you don't. You're in love. Yeah, of course it did. And then he unfortunately did start having affairs. I found out about it.

Wait, why? Because you're rich now? Or he just thought, I'm just going to get How? Why did that trigger the affairs? I don't know. I don't know. I'd love to get that answer. But yeah, so But you had a spa pool.

And a retractable washing line. You can take it out of the way when your clothes aren't on it. I know. I know. Jesus Christ. The man had it all. He did. he did. And so that ended, and did you have to split everything? So he started saying, you know, no, we're going to stick by our original arrangement.

I'm not going to attach it, da-da-da-da-da. But then his new partner got involved. Oh, my God. She did. Shut up, bitch. So I lost it. I lost a lot. I lost half to him

and then the other one went, the other part of it, I lost in legal fees, court fees. Oh my God, Anonymous. I know. So it was a really tough battle, but my advice would be

is I'm now with a new partner and he was with me throughout this battle, so he saw it. And he was with me throughout this battle. So he saw it. So he had a completely different understanding. So when I said to him about wanting a prenup, because I've been coming to some more money, that he was...

Can I have some? No, we'll ask you off here. Let us know. Let us know. You're a magical woman, Anonymous. Yeah. And your new partner's absolutely fine with it? Absolutely.

He is so understanding. But it was also, when I looked into it, I found out there, it's not just getting a prenup to keep yourself protected. There are so many little ways out, even if you've got a prenup. And I know it's got to be watertight. You've each got to get a lawyer so that, you know, at the end, yeah, they can't be like, well, it's the same lawyer, you know. Yeah.

You, yeah. Yeah, so your own lawyer, your own separate advice. You've got to witness it separately. Yeah, there's so much. Yeah. Hey, thank you so much, Anonymous for sharing. What an incredible. You are a fascinating creature.

What a journey. Yeah, wait there. Wait there. We're going to find out who got the spa pool. Wait, wait. Who got the spa pool? Have you re-got all of these chattels? We're going to spa retractable.

Enough of the chattels with Anonymous. Hey, hey, hey. I had a guy if I want to know the chattel situation. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, Bob.

I'm just reading what's written here.