ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 10th October 2023

Episode Date: October 9, 2023

Top 6: Sexy Mascots  Silly Little Poll!  It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas!  Hayley's Book  Snail Girlies  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, three minutes past six. Happy Tuesday, wearing your Goosebumps shirt? Yep. Great shirt. I'm excited, it's a big day ahead.

You got some spooky adventures planned, do you? Yeah. And I'm just going It's a big day ahead. You've got some spooky adventures planned, do you? Yeah. And I'm just going to pick a path. Goosebumps weren't all pick a paths. No, lots of them were, though. I loved pick a paths. Yeah. I did not know that.

Choose your own ending. It'll be like, read the page, and it'll be like, to do this, go to this page, do this, go to this page. And you keep a finger on that page, and you'd go to both options. Yeah. And you die in your lap. Nope. Nope.

Back to that one. Back to that one. Yeah. Yeah. I don't remember Goosebumps being that. I just remember them being the books. Yeah. Flesh wasn't allowed any books. I wasn't allowed any books.

Ashton Scholastic books. The occult. Yeah. I hear your parents wildly conservative Christians. There was a lot of satanic panic chat. Your chance to win this morning with Add to Trolley.

It's back. Thanks to Countdown. Yesterday, our 8 o'clock item, a Dyson stick vacuum. Yes, stick. Some amazing stuff for you to win. So make sure you're listening at 8 o'clock. We'll give you the items in our trolley at 8, midday and 4.

If you're the first through at 5 and you can name all of them, you get to win them all, everything in that trolley. So make sure you're listening at 8 for that first item this morning. The top six on the way. People are using, is it AI? With the jets? I believe so. And just themselves, if they're a talented illustrator, as backlash for not getting an I voted sticker.

I keep seeing people like voting overseas are getting the stickers. Yeah, they are. Like the consulates had some left over. Yeah, I think they did. I think 100% they've just been left over. Yeah, I think they did. I think 100% they've just been left over from last time. Because my friend in Melbourne

voted yesterday, sent me a photo and I was like, you've got a sticker. Unbelievable. I know. It's upsetting. The sticker.

The backlash is they're sexing up the orange guy. Yeah, orange mascot. The election... What do they call him? Election man. Mascot?

Orange man. Orange guy, eh? Orange man? How creative we were with naming him. But they're sexing him up. Well, I was like, well, why not? Let's sex up some other mascots. So I've got the top six other New Zealand mascots

that could do with a little sex up. Next on the show, though. There is a couple who are making me a bit icky this morning with how much time they spend together. Not me. Not interested in this lifestyle at all. This is yuck to me. This is yuck.

There is a couple called Laura and Nathan. When they got married, she wore a pink and blue chill dress and he wore a blue tie and a pink waistcoat. Just painting the picture. That's who we're dealing with. That's who we're dealing with. I don't even know what they've done yet.

Yeah, I'm just painting the picture. They've been married for 13 years, living and working together for longer than that. And they met when they went on a skiing trip because her boyfriend knew his girlfriend and they were the other ones. Oh, wait, so they've both got crossover there. Yeah, bit of crossover.

Bit of crossover. Did their partners they left end up together for a... No, they didn't. A little revenge smooch? Yeah, it would be too clean. They got married and spend 24 hours a day together, seven days a week, never apart. Proudly codependent, they call themselves.

So even when they're apart, if they're going to the supermarket and they're in different aisles, if one of them wants to check in with each other, they use a whistle. Oh my God, this is sickening. And then the other one will come running and find the person who whistled. They're like, what do you need?

They're like, do we want this cut of steak or this cut of steak? And they cannot be apart. They said it works for them. This would smother me. You should know if you're going to marry someone what cut of steak they want. Don't get married to someone if you're not well aware

of what their kind of steak would be. You've been with someone for years and you don't know what they want at the supermarket? Yeah, what's Chuck? Will Chuck be all right? Get out of here. We're divorced. Do they do anything alone?

No, they work together. They have an office together. They live together. They run a vacation business together. What if one of them needed to go to the doctor? Would they both go in? They'd probably go in together. The only time you'd be apart, right,

would be when you're doing the poops. No, I bet they... They'd poop with the door open. One would talk to the other one while they were pooping, by the sounds of it. Look, love's beautiful, but this is just awful. They're just awful. Because you need some time apart, right?

They look happy. She says, every now and then I do need to go to the other side of the house so I can breathe. My alarm bells are ringing. She's hating this. But she said it works for them. Communication is key. Oh, does it?

Oh, God. I need space apart. Sometimes months. Sometimes just months, you know. But she said they're never at each other's throats. They just believe they're completely soulmates. Great friendship. You know why, though?

It's because they started their relationship in relationships. Yes. So they're worried that the other one's going to go and do it again. Yeah, they don't want either of them out of their sight. Those people that start a relationship when they're in relationships never fully trust each other. Yeah, if you're cheating and then you end up together. You're waiting for it to happen again.

You're like. That's why she's, this is this romantic whistle thing that's, are you cheating? Yeah. That's basically what it becomes. Screams of insecurity, but good for you. Good for you. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Now there's some rules when one is attending a buffet, a smorgasbord. And there are other names for it because smorgasbord is Scandi. Smorgasbord. All you can eat. Yeah, yeah. Buffet. They love a smorgasbord in Europe. The hotels.

Oh, really? They do. They love it. I love a smorgasbord. It's so good. There used to be way more. And I mean, even COVID probably put a death knell in a smorgie. Because of the shearing.

Did you see that article? It was a microbiologist or whatever last week. It was everywhere. Don't ruin it. It was like, the birds and things I'll never touch. And one of them was smorgasbords. I was like, don't smorgasbord. But I love a smorgasbord.

Why do you touch the smorgasbord? A breakfast smorgasbord is amazing. I love a bricky... I always call it a breakfast buffet. I would never call it a breakfast smorgasbord. A smorgasbord. I don't know why. Breakfast buffet. Maybe because it's just breakfast, whereas a smorgasbord always has different stations.

Lunch, salads, curries, stir fries, cold cuts. You always eat way too much. Desserts. I had a Christmas buffet once. We were in Dargaville. We went to the Northern Wairua Hotel for Christmas. Oh, just on Christmas. Just on Christmas Day. You've got to book early if you're in Dargaville, we went to the Northern Wairua Hotel for Christmas. Oh, just on Christmas. Just on Christmas Day.

You've got to book early if you're in Dargaville, but I do recommend. Good tatoes. Good tatoes. Yeah. Got to have tatoes at the smorgasbord. It's a beautiful Christmas smorgasbord in Dargaville. At a Welsh pub, Sean, who runs the George IV, one before five, four, the George IV pub,

the George IV. He's got a ripper of a buffet. Now, recently he received a two-star review, not happy about it. Sought out why he got a two-star review and what on earth he could possibly improve. The man said, I booked a Sunday lunch. I was very impressed

with the quality of food and service. What's his problem? Had I known when I booked a Sunday lunch. I was very impressed with the quality of food and service. What's his problem? Had I known when I booked a table that I wouldn't have booked as I don't always eat all of my meal there and I like to take home a plate. No, that's not how it works. They sit on the menu, they don't do takeaway boxes

which is fine. I bought my own plate with me and it was still a no. Good food, but this is a letdown and I won't be going back. He bought a container or a plate? Well, he says a plate,

but I imagine it would be a clack or a sistema or something. That's against the rules of the smorgasbord. That's not how it works. If you can't smuggle it out in your purse,

you're not allowed to take it. If you can't spoon it into mum's purse, it's not allowed. I'm looking at you, Valentine's jelly beans. Oh my God, yes. Or you might wrap up a little bread roll with a bit of ham in it.

Yeah, if you're on holiday and you want something to feed the fish. Yes. At the bit you, you know, take a few bits of bread. Or make yourself a cheeky sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For lunchtime. In the back, in the handy. Because, you know, the breakfast is included, but everything else is astronomically priced.

But you don't get to take a little plate away. You don't know. That's not how it works. If I can't leave it in a handbag, it's not leaving with you. If it's not leaving in your guts, it's not leaving the hotel. Yeah. So, yeah, that's not how the smorgasbord works. Now I want a smorgasbord.

Yeah. Good stuff. Where's a good all-you-can-eat near us? Dude, there is no better than eight. Eight in Auckland. Yeah, I don't know than eight. Eight in Auckland. Yeah, I don't know about the rest of the country. We should do one of our maps of the best smorgasbord in the country. Oh, my God, yes, we should.

Oh, my God, yes. Because I'm sure they don't do it anymore, but the Glenview Tavern in Hamilton. They have smorgasbord. When I was a child, not only did you get the smorgasbord, you got the entertainment. Oh, eights in the quarters. Yes.

The old Langham, I see. It's not cheap. It's not cheap. It's not cheap. But it's delish. God damn, if you're doing it, you plan out. There's a chocolate fountain. There's a chocolate fountain. And you can put your fingers in it.

You're not meant to put your fingers in it. Well, you can put your whole hand in it, technically. You can put your mouth under it. You could, but you know, it'd get all in my beard. Frowned upon. And they'd be like, Mr. Smith, have you mouthed the fountain again? I'd be like, I will not stand for these accusations. They have to turn the fountain off if you stick your body parts in it.

Yeah, yeah. No fingers in the fountain. No. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey from the bustling ZM think tank. This is the top six. Hello there, the electoral. I've done it again. Electoral Commission has got rid of the I voted stickers.

People aren't happy about that. The girlies and the producers both voted yesterday. Made Kate Shepard very proud, as they said. Yes. By voting together, but no stickers. I voted on Sunday. I haven't voted yet. Kate Shepard would all be very proud of you.

She would be so proud of me too. Well, I was just waiting to see if they were going to come around with stickers, but... They're not, no. I'm waiting for a political party to really look after the white straight male. Yeah, actually, there's not enough of that. He's doing okay for himself, you know? Yeah, you're right. We seem to just be...

No, I'm not even going to get into it. We've done a great job this election season dodging the issues. But they got rid of the I voted stickers, and people are fighting back by online re-releasing. Because I remember seeing this last election, sexy, sexy orange election guy. Oh, yeah. Voiced by none other than David Correos.

Yes. And they're sexing him up. And then Marcy's eject. Well, there's one where he recreated the famous Saturday Night Live sketch With Andy Serbing and Justin Timberlake He seems to have it inside the voting box Oh wow So really sexing up the mascot

There's a photo from behind where you get to really see his bots Yes I have voted Somebody's made this one And they've got a little Their voting papers covering their What I'm guessing is an orange penis. I mean, just going by the colour. You'd think it would be orange, but sometimes

it can be quite pale. Or darker than you'd imagine. It's got the farmer's tan, doesn't it? What? The willy? Yeah. It's purple. Part of it. Just the end. God.

Just the end part. You get some bloody blood flowing down there. That might be the problem. So if they're sexing up the orange election guy, we've got the top six other mascots we can sex up next. Oh, I can think of a few. No, well, just wait. If there's some that you haven't thought of at the end of the six,

knock yourself out, but don't do it now. We've been told off. This is quite a hard top six. We were told off, weren't we? Number six on the list, the stick man. Pack and save stick man. Oh, yep. How do you make that sexy?

Give me the stick. Well, it's easy. Just put a little diddle on it. Oh, I just had another stick. You ever draw a diddle and some balls on a stick? When you do the torso too long for the leas. Yeah, and then you just say you put a ball either side of it yeah yeah that'll be a start our number five on the list of the top six mascots the six up next uh harold the giraffe oh okay oh he's educational he can educate my life in the back of

his caravan and this truck trailer that he turns around with no windows have you ever seen a driver's tongue get that out for a start. They're purpley blue, aren't they? Yeah. And not just the end, the whole thing. Wow.

Number four on the list, you might not have seen him lately on the top six mascots of sex up next, but whatever happened to that mouse from the sorted.co.nz ads? He's financially savvy,

that's sexy. I think he's retired, that mouse, because he was really good with his money. Right, he's retired. Good with his money, but he stuck his head in my trap in the chicken

house and got him. Yeah. Got him. Got him. I've been getting some massive debt rags lately. I know. I love when you send them to the group chat. Have you? Yeah. What if you muted the group chat? No, I saw that one. I caught another one yesterday. Not as big as the real big fat one that I caught at the weekend.

That was on a shovel. Yeah. You put them on a hearth shovel because everybody had one of those in their house growing up for the coal and stuff when they got a fireplace. Makes it look bigger.

No, I was going to say it's just the size everybody's aware of so they'll know that it's a big rat. Oh, right, yeah. I think you were trying to make your rats look bigger. Oh, yeah, I just put them

beside my small penis if I'm into that. Yeah, yeah, right. Check out this penis for comparison. Yuck. I have never done that. He has never done that. I won't do it.

Number three on the list of the top six mascots to sex up next. Mr. Whippy. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's a lot on the soft serve. Yeah. He's got to lay off the flakes, get a bit jacked. Stick a flake in my soft serve. What if he dipped the soft serve in protein powder? You get jacked, bro. Get jacked. Start handing out some protein. Stick a flake in my soft serve. What if he dipped the soft serve in protein powder?

Yeah, get jacked, bro. Get jacked. Prote's bra. Number two on the list of the top six mascots of sex up next. The swan dry swan. Oh, yeah. It's just a standard swan. It is, yeah.

Pretty. But not sexy. Not rugged sexy, this. Okay. How would you sex that up? Give it boobies. Give it boobies. Popping out from its little plaid shirt. I'm in such disgust of myself. What are you sex set up? Give her boobies. Give her boobies. Popping out from its little plaid shirt.

What are you, 13? You've hurt my head in such disgust of myself I hurt my neck. Yeah, give us boobies. And number one on the list of the top six mascots of sex up next, Greg Grover from Nova. Oh. It doesn't need much, does it? Just jokes. Sexy enough.

Doesn't need much. Sexy enough. He's sexy enough. He's very clean cut in the Greg Grover from Nova ads. Yeah. Because I've noticed he's had a rollover. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Had the Greg Grover from Nova ads yeah because I've noticed he's had a roll over congratulations

thank you very much had a roll over thank you very much shorter hair very well trimmed beard yeah and now when you see him he's rugged ass

he's got the long hair and the much bigger beard roll over Greg Grover so if you guys have got any more you want to check on the pile now feel free not to suffer

no you got them you got the main ones pretty good you said the Sky City one. Oh, the Sky City. You can just make it purple on there. Oh, that's why you wanted me to say it again. The Sky Tower.

There you go. The Sky Tower guy, just make him purple on there. That's a bit sexy. That's today's top six. When's Nina arriving? El Nino? El Nino. El Nino. Well, I thought it was supposed to be windy and dry,

but then somebody said for the North Island, it just means like a very active spring. Yeah, it means you could have days of a lot of wind and rain, but then you could have like really nice days. Will 2023 be a hot summer? Yeah. It will be. I'm ready for it, is what I'm saying.

I'm wearing jeans today. I looked at my Birkenstocks and I was like, when's your time? I know. I looked them up. I've had them out once. It was nice. I always see my Birkenstocks in the hallway. I'm like, I want to wear you so bad.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, apparently, this comes from Australia, but we tend to take a lot of trends from Australia. Yeah, but? We share our seasons, but. This summer is Hairy Girl Summer, which is just the summer of letting it all bush out and bush up and grow.

When did we last have a Hairy Girl Summer? God, I can't remember. The 1970s? Do you know what? Yesterday I was sent a link to a story where it was actually 1979 when Alien came out. You know the movie Alien with Sigourney Weaver? Mm-hmm.

So in that there's this very famous scene where she's standing there in her undies in this white singlet, this white tank top. It's a very famous scene. Now Ridley Scott, I didn't know this, but in the director's commentary, Ridley Scott said she refused to pull up her undies or shave her pubes at all.

It didn't test well with audiences. We had to pay someone in 1979 something like $5,000 to airbrush out all of her pubic hair in every single cell of the film. It took them weeks. Wow, because each second of a frame is what? There are 24 frames a second? Yeah.

In film back then? Back then there would have been. So someone had to go through and every- Each second, remove her pubes. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. So was that Hairy Girl Summer? Well,... Each second, remove her pubes. Yeah. Oh, my God. So maybe it was that hairy girl summer. Well, no, because they removed her pubes.

Whereas now they're going, nah, just embrace it. Ditching the razors, embracing the hairy girl summer. Yeah. I mean, there's no need for the frantic, you know, you get the phone call being like, do you want to go to the beach? And you're like, God, give me a couple hours in the shower with every form of hair removal possible. I didn't think about that.

You couldn't just do it in Promptree Beach? No. When I was young, it was always like, oh, God. But I've lasered mine all off. Someone could have given me the heads up that this trend was going to be. Because now you need your hair back. Now, yeah, I'm going to get a merkin. Yeah.

Because they do that now, I think, on a lot of film sets because so many people just laser it all off. Yeah. And then if they do, you know, if they on a lot of film sets because so many people just glazer it all off. Yeah. And then if they do, you know, if they're doing bloody Pride and Prejudice. Well, glue some pubes on. They've got to glue pubes on because they wouldn't have had a... Did you see the pubes in the Pride and Prejudice?

No, but, you know, something of the era. Right. Everyone's like, oh, should I start watching this? Sorry, I'm just going to Google Pride and Prejudice. No one told me this? No, there's not. But, yeah, apparently armpits, your bikini line, your legs. Everyone's just letting it.

I mean, they say this, but people aren't going to do this. I feel like some, I feel like it's going to be a slow burn for people to be like, I see your pubes and that's fine. Hey, I don't have any commentary. If you want to let it all hang out, you go. Yeah, you do you. You do you, hon. I'll be in my tummy to knee board shorts and a rash top.

But you do you, hon. Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little po. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole today, does your partner know your passwords and PIN?

Most of them. I think I know most of Aaron's. You know all of yours? Yeah of them. I think I know most of Aaron's. You know all of yours? Yeah. Right. Do you not change up passwords for different websites? Do you use the same one? No, I change them up. Of course I change them up. That would be such a security breach. Well, 77% of people say their partners know their passwords and they've been 23% said no.

Do you know what? Do you reckon that's because they're new? The people that answered that are new to the relationship and it's too soon to give you a Gmail password to your girlfriend or your boyfriend? Like, what do you think? Or they just do not want people in on their stuff? Don't know. Aaron was using my laptop

the other day and then he texted me and was like, I just saw an email pop up from someone we both knew and so I hit it. I was reading it and I was like,

excuse me? And he did. He just sort of saw an email and was like, that looks interesting. He just had a little read. I've got no secret. There's nothing secret in there.

Yeah, yeah. What was it about? I don't receive any emails of any great importance. It was a building thing. It was a house thing. Oh, right. So that's where he was like, I'll just have a look. Well, that's his area of expertise. Expertise as well. I know, but I just thought it was a bit like... It's still weird.

Yeah. Maybe change your password and don't tell him. It could be from my lover, you know. Jess, I wasn't laughing. Are you laughing at the concept? No, no, no. Sorry. Are you laughing at the concept sorry are you laughing at the mere concept of me taking a lover I laughed

and then I dragged it on for a couple of extra because I was just it had an air of you wish it did it did and I apologise for that thank you

because I know you could take a lover thank you piece of cake thank you I'm not saying that'd be much probably a bit junk to be honest

sorry if you were to take a lover I could take a very handsome lover thank you I don't think so I think you'd probably rush into it and get a minger I wouldn't

I would I'd panic wouldn't I you'd panic you'd panic and you'd go I'm allowed to love her I'm allowed to love her yeah and you'd pull the ripcord and you'd end up with a a minger of a parachute

rather than waiting for the thrill of a you know a low altitude release yeah you're right I would I get excited and I get carried away. Exactly. I need you to calm down

if you're going to take a lover. Wait, take your time. Wait for the right lover to take. Jess, who I don't know where she's at on taking a lover, probably pulled the ripcord early and ended up with a minga too. She said, honestly,

just because it's convenient. So they know the pin. They know the pin. They know everything. Yep, we have the same ones, says Sarah. So they've the pin. They know the pin. They know everything. Yep, we have the same ones says Sarah. So they've got to the point where I wonder who was a sub there and gave up their existing pin

to have her pin. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know what you're saying. Have you had your pin ever since you got your first FPOS card? Yeah. So I had our pen and then lost my card and I need a new pen and I changed it and I've never changed it since.

Oh, wow. I said to myself I'll just constantly change it, but I've never changed it since. Same, because I'm immune to do it like re... What, am I supposed to just store that in my head brain? Yeah, true. I got my pen in 1998. Wow. And I've used pin in 1998. Wow. And I've used it ever since.

That's cool, man. Yeah, it's an old ass pin. My pin number is older than some people listening to the Brady program. Sure that feels good. Shout out to everybody younger than my pin. You're bossing out there. No cap. Touch grass today. Okay.

Monica says he knows most of them, the account holder for all of You're bussing out there. No cap. Touch grass today. Okay. Oh, stop. Stop it. Monica says he knows most of them. The account holder for all of the streaming. I'm the account holder for all of the streaming. You best believe that most passwords are the same. I've seen his phone pin numerous times, but I've never remembered it. Never needed it. Really, Monica?

What if he pulled the ripcord and took a minger of a lover? Yeah. I think you need to check that phone. Yeah, you would. I'd go through his phone while he was in the shower. Yeah, except she can't hear his voice. Would you, you sneaky chick? So she'd get it wrong three times, and then it would lock his phone.

And then they know that you've been fiddling. Ain't nothing to hide here, says Hannah, like someone with something to hide. Yeah, that's what they all say. Yeah. Mel says, no, but it isn't a secret. I just haven't asked. Oh, yeah. Becca, I've told him my pin.

He never remembers, though, and asks every time. I know his, though. Of course you do. You check his phone when he's in the shower. And he's pretending he doesn't remember your pin, but he remembers your pin because he's checking your phone while you're in the shower. You're in the shower.

Max says, that's impossible. I have a password manager and individual passwords for each logon. Yeah, same. He does, however, have the master password to that app so he can access everything. Oh, you screwed them. What a very secure homosexual. Yeah, homosexuals are very cyber conscious. Are they?

Yeah, they are. Good for them. That's hot. And Trish said, never bothered to give them to him. He's my death contact, though. So when I die, if before him, he'll have access to everything. That can be set up on iPhone settings, don't you know? Oh, goodness.

You can set a death contact? I've got emergency contact. Yeah, I'm not stopping. I've got an emergency. You're one of my emergency contacts, only because I know you'll get excited to have a call. I've got emergency contact. Yeah, I'm not stopping. I've got emergency. You're one of my emergency contacts, only because I know you'll get excited to have a call. I'll get a call. I'll be like, it's gossip.

And I'll be like, hello. And they'll be like, hello, is this Mr. Smith? I'll be like, this isn't Fletch. No, Fletch has been in a terrible concrete pouring accident. And then you'll ring me and be like, I've got gossip. Yeah, Fletch is dead. And I'll be like, oh my God. He's been poured into concrete.

How to set up a legacy contact. A legacy. That's way better than death, oh, my God. He's been poured into concrete. How to set up a legacy contact. A legacy. That's way better than death, Trish. Yeah. Trish, that sounded grim when you called him your death contact. Death contact. Legacy contact. So you just add a contact.

And they will have access to your messages, photos. Oh, no, I'm good. Thank you. No, I'm good. I'm good. Oh, actually, yeah, Aaron's probably seen all your notes. And notes. Don't you have a lot of shit in your notes?

I got lots of shit in my notes. Yeah, and other sensitive data, plus the ability to remove activation lock from your devices. So, yeah, they basically can just take over your phone when you die. I'm all good. Actually, I prefer one of you to do it. Do it. I'll do it.

And then I'll write you a book. I'll write you a posthumous memoir. And I'll call it Methumous memoirs. And I'll call it Me, Hayley Sproul. Me, Oxford comma, Hayley Sproul. From Rangiora to riches. Yes. Wow, now she's admitting she's from Rangiora. You know, because he's writing it.

He'll out me. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, a list of the most expensive and worst value tourist attractions has been compiled. The way that they've done this from 134 countries, they looked at all the tourist attractions and looked in the most popular with the word expensive. Oh, right. Like a TripAdvisor type review. Yeah, they use TripAdvisor.

So I'll give you the top 10. The New Zealand, New Zealand is on the list, but way down. Like they've kind of got a big map of all the parts of the world. What parts of the world, what's considered the most expensive? Like where you've traveled, what are you, because that was the Big Mac index, right? Yeah.

They went around the world and they would compare the price of a Big Mac. Right. Because it's the same around the world. Yeah. Although our beef is,

we get better beef. We've got better beef. We've got better beef and better cheese. Absolutely. We've got better beef and better cheese. Yeah.

We've got the best beef and cheese. Nobody has better beef and cheese than me. That was a really terrible Donald Trump. That was bad. You got what I meant, so I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it. It wasn't great.

Beef is huge. A huge beef. Nobody knows it better. I don't know the latest Big Mac Index. The Big Mac Index is always like scanty countries. It was really expensive. I don't know the latest Big Mac Index. The Big Mac Index is always like Scandi countries. It was really expensive. It had a lot of tax on it. Some of the most expensive countries I've been to,

Switzerland and Norway. Norway was so expensive. Norway was mind-blowingly expensive. And you didn't realise it at the time because you're like, Krona, I don't know. Is it Krona or something like that? Yeah, it is. And then you look at your bank account afterwards,

you're like, how much for that burger? I know, it is insanely expensive. So the top 10 worst value tourist attractions, Empire State Building, 3,056 mentions of it being expensive. I thought you said it was $3,000 to go up, but I was like, I know someone that just went up, but how did they afford that?

So the main deck costs $44. US. Yes. Are all these prices going to be in US? $38 for children. Yes, they will be. Rockefeller is the better building to go up.

Is it? You get the better views. They're unobstructed. You can stand on top of it with a glass. It's not as famous. It's not as famous. In England,

Warwick Castle. I've been to Warwick Castle. Which is a beautiful old castle. Stunning. Visitors over the age of three have to pay $48 for a single day pass. Again, these aren't like, what is Disneyland? That's not even on this list.

Yeah, but there's nothing to do at Warwick Castle. You look at a castle. You're planning to look at a castle. Whereas Disneyland, once you're in, your senses are overwhelmed. It is very expensive, but you're kind of like, it's Disneyland. Okay, well, I might have spoken too soon because Magic Kingdom Park in Orlando, Florida, one of the most visited amusement parks in the world. 17 million people went in 2022.

Day tickets started at 144. That's number six. So Magic, in Orlando, correct me if I'm wrong, I haven't been to that one, Disney World is in four parts. I think so, yeah. And that's just one part. Yeah, that's just one part.

Blue Lagoon in Iceland. Wow. Which looks so... Yeah, the hot pools. You definitely know. You would have seen a photo of these. That's 64 US dollars. Right.

Mate, you can go swimming in Kerosene Creek just out of Rota Bay. I love Kerosene Creek. Kerosene Creek. It's so great. I mean, these places aren't the most expensive to get into. Entry-wise. I guess it's bang for buck as well. But it's also, while you're there,

I guess they take into account like food and drink and souvenirs and you're kind of captive there. Universal Studios Florida is number six on the list of the world's worst valued tourist attractions. The view from the Shard England is number five. Oh, that's the big one.

Oh, yeah, you're just going up to see shitty London. Yeah, grey old miserable London. Do it from the wheel. At least you're closer to everything. Now, this next on the list is number four. We've actually been up here, Vaughan, the Burj Khalifa, and we went for free because we were with Dubai Tourism. We did the shows.

I never even considered it. So it cost $210 US. What, just to go up? Just to go up. Oh, no, I couldn't go in the lift. But you know what? I think it's worth it because it is insane. I couldn't do it.

Everything looks baked from that high. Like, there are skyscrapers. You're looking down at skyscrapers. Oh, I just don't think I could. That feeling I can get just remembering what it was like. Last night I had a dream we broadcast from the space station. How did we get? Hayley would never have gone up.

It was so like, like, like every time we looked out the window, we'd be doing the show and we'd be like, I want to go home. Number three of the world's worst value tourist attraction, the London Eye. Again, like the Shard. Oh, really? I mean, I've done the London Eye. I don't know, at least it's moving. You're like,

I am in quite the engineering wonder here. It's very slow, though. So slow. Well, people have to get on and off at the bottom. Do you think it's any coincidence that the next two on the list, and half of this list, half of the top ten have been in England, because they love a whinge. Yeah, they do love a whinge.

Legoland Windsor Resort is number two on the list. Oh, yeah. And number one, this is the world's worst value tourist attraction, Warner Brothers Studio Tour, the making of Harry Potter in England. That had 8,000 guests complaining on TripAdvisor. That it was expensive. That it was expensive. How much does it cost? $63 for adults, $49 for kids.

I think that one's purely just looking at props and set pieces. Yeah, I think that's all it is. Yeah, no roller coasters or anything like that. That's lame. And the one in New Zealand that makes the list out of the whole world, Queenstown Loge. What number was that? That wasn't in the top 10 though, right?

It's not in the top 10. It's just on a map of the world, and that's the only one in New Zealand. I love the bloody luge. The bluge. The bluge. I love it too. I love it. The bluge rule.

My only complaint is they need luges for people over six foot. Aaron wouldn't be able to do the luge. Yeah, we luged last time we were in Queenstown, and there's a couple that are like bigger. They go up outside of his arms. Yeah, yeah, that's what it rides like. You look like Donkey Kong in Mario Kart. Him at Rainbow's End was very funny.

But that view from the luge on a bluebird day, that's beautiful. That's stunning up there. And you're just luging around. This is in New Zealand dollars comparative to your American dollars. But if we're talking a family of four, how many luge rides do you want? You've got to have five. You've got to have five You've got to have five Yeah, I'd get over it by then

Family of four, $200 Okay, that's not bad If you buy it as a family pack $50 each If you're just going to buy yourself As an adult With five luge rides $77

That's not bad Oh, yeah I don't think it was too bad People love a whinge though, don't they? Love a whinge Love a whinge Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley

Oh, oh, oh Love a whinge. Love a whinge. Play. Sid Ams, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. All right, there's just somebody at the door. I've just got to tell them to wait. Not yet. When do we get you coming, then? Oh, my God. Are the orphans here?

Soon, okay? We'll be with you soon. No. I've banned the Christmas orphans. Hello, Mr. Fletcher. Hello, Mr. Fletcher. I've banned them soon. They soon will just forget

how Christmas penetration is at. They look cold out there, Mr. Fletcher. They always look cold. God. We are 75 days, 16 hours, and 37 minutes away from Christmas. Yeah. This is our segment where we give you a Christmas penetration reading.

Let you know where we're at. First of all, where did you send that thing to, Carwin? Here it is. Catherine, Carwin's mum. Oh, yeah. She's made a submission from Bed, Bath and Beyond. And I'm imagining the Christmas stuff falls into the Beyond section. She sent in, what have we got here?

We've got Christmas themed raccoons, reindeers, and Christmas mice. Don't mice get a nice break at Christmas? They do, don't they? We don't mind them as much. They're like soft toys. We've got a variety of Santas. We've got little Santas, medium Santas, big Santas.

And Santas wearing all sorts of colours as well as a plethora of Christmas decorations for the tree. A nutcracker, do I see? Many decorations still. You do. Yeah, we could get you some nice bougie decorations. So that's Bed Bath & Beyond

in Napier there adding to Christmas penetration. Mariah Carey. Carey? Mariah Carey. What Christmas penetration, Mariah Carey. Carey? Mariah Carey. What is it? Mariah Carey. Carey.

But it's spelt Carey. It is Carey. Mariah Carey. Yeah. It's not Carey. Mariah Carey. No, it's Carey. Mariah Carey.

Yeah. Mariah. Mariah Carey? I could probably have just said Mariah and with the Christmas Association. Yeah. She's enough. Yeah.

She is doing the Holiday Tradition Returns Christmas Tour. She's announced dates in November, starting November 15 through to December 17, starting in California, ending in New York. Well, that'll be last. Just before Christmas. That would be a pretty amazing thing to see. That'll be her last song of the night, right? All I Want for Christmas?

Oh, it simply must be. You'd imagine? She could pepper it, I reckon. It simply must be. Go to the halftime break with it and then close with it. 100%. Wilson said full penetration at Typo. Wilson's a big...

Yeah, he's a big contributor. Big contributor. Loves it every year. Typo, he said, has really stepped up the game and gone full penetration at Typo. And I've just been sent a reel. Oh, yes. Ballantines. Yes.

The famous Christchurch department store have gone full Christmas. They've got... Look at these. You need some of these, Hayley. These little gingerbread houses. Oh, yeah. Full Christmas there. Full Christmas. Oh, they've got the pink Christmas trees too. They've got, look at these. You need some of these, Hayley. These little gingerbread houses. Oh, yeah. Full Christmas there. Full Christmas. They've got the pink Christmas trees too. They've got, look at this. Oh my god.

They've got everything. Spinny thing and a snowy thing and a snowy thing and some Lego sets. They are ready. Some Christmas bunting. They've really said it's time for Christmas. So, Valentine's is on board. Michael said Coles and Sydney now have a full display

that is usually reserved for things on special called Christmas treats. And it's got all the Christmas treats in there. I love treats. Anthony said, scared the shit out of me. I walked into the warehouse, turned around, and came face to face with a life-size Santa. And then the photo of of me. I walked into the warehouse, turned around and came face to face with a life-size Santa. And then the photo of said Santa. Okay.

And Melissa said, might attend Mega. And Donna, the same thing. Life-size Santa that talks when people move past it, motion activated. Oh, no. I'm not about those.

Where do you think you're going? They've got the wrong voiceover on it. They used the wrong track. You've been naughty. You've been naive. Okay, so 75 days away from Christmas. Donner and Blitzen start stretching those legs. Christmas penetration is at...

53%. Which means... It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Come on in. Come in. No. Oh, thank you, Mr Fletcher. Mr Fletcher. I banned the Christmas.... Okay, Mr Fletcher. Mr Fletcher.

I banned the Christmas. Merry Christmas, Mr Fletcher. Mr Fletcher, you won't believe what happened after last Christmas. You won't, Mr Fletcher. What happened? I'll let my sister tell you. Thank you, brother. What happened?

My mum and dad, that you found us, they had a horrible divorce. Yeah, did they? Do you know what, Mr Fletcher? At their house, they don't eat meat. Yeah. Did they? Do you know what, Mr Fletcher? At their house, they don't eat meat. Yeah. Don't they? It was so bad, I was malnourished going into it. It only got worse.

It was worse. My iron levels. When they finally took me to a doctor, because they believe in alternative medicine. I know. When they finally took us to the doctor. Right, yeah. We had to have iron pills and that clogged up me poorly.

Oh, no. Their vegan sausages were worse than orphanage slop. I would rather eat my own toes, Mr Fletcher. Because we complained so much, they took us back to the orphanage, Mr Fletcher. Which I will say was better. It was better. But we longed for a mummy and daddy for Christmas. Mr Fletcher, will you help us?

I banned both of you No Guess what Mr. Fletcher It sucked You've got a responsibility to find us somewhere else We're lovely we promise Mr. Fletcher would you like to hear a Christmas carol

No Good king Winslet No Go home Uh-oh. Good king, winces, let's look down. No. We're going to be star-crossed. We don't have one.

Fletch, Warren and Hayley's. Choose your family with Contact Mobile. Can we come and stay in your spare room, Mr Fletch? No, no, you can't. Have you taken a lover? No. Are you ready, Mr Fletch? She sleeps in the nude, though.

Put your pants on, Mr Fletcher. It's not appropriate when children are around. You're not coming in here. Get out. It's a hard knock life for us. It's a hard knock life for us. We saw Mr Fletcher's penis. I'm just going home.

I'm just going home. And it was funny looking. I'm going home. It looked to me. I'm going home. It was purple. I'm going home. I'm just going home. It was funny. Logan! I'm going home. It looked at me. I'm going home. It was purple. I'm going home.

It looked at me funny. You guys are banned from the radio. No. If people love us, Mr. Fletcher. They don't love you. They don't want you anymore. Oh, just like our real parents. Let me see your text machine, Mr. Fletcher.

Here we go. Best part of Christmas is back. Get on board, Mr. Fletcher. Get on board, Mr. Fletcher. Oh, Mr. Fletcher Here we go Best part of Christmas Is back Get on board Mr Fletcher Get on board Mr Fletcher Oh Mr Fletcher Please More consideration For these poor starving children

Please No No I'm so cold Go back to the orphanage Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Play

ZM She's getting a yawn out She's just getting A big fatty out So this is a research about the perfect age gap in a relationship Now me and Aaron are eight years apart Are you like one year? You would think so because Shade looks as old as I do

She's got such a haggardy face Such a haggardy old face. That or I look, yeah, well, we do look very similar age. No, three years apart. Three years apart. Yes. We're eight years. Well, this research has shown that couples with a larger age gap

are much more likely to break up than those who are closer in age. So they said that 3,000 couples, they analysed, with a five-year age gap, couples were 18% more likely to split up in contrast to those who were the same age. With a 10-year age gap, which is closer to Aaron and I, 39% more likely to separate. Oosh.

And the figure rose to 95% for couples with a 20 year age gap. Oh wow, yeah. So the sweet spot they said is one year. Within a year. Within a year. 20 year age gap.

95% more likely. Like twice as much, of course. You're with a bloody... Yeah, I'd be with a, yeah, I'd be with a 54 year old. This doesn't, this doesn't cover how long it would last.

Just that it would, it would end in a breakup. That it would end. Yeah. Right. More likely because they'd die. One of them would die, right? The old one.

Yeah, the older one. Yeah, I wonder if it went to like a thousand percent if it was more than 30, which I would say that when we head into yuck territory i don't want to yuck anyone's i don't want to yuck anyone's yum but 30 years is a little bit yuck so they say the closer in age the more that um uh more likely you are to stay together yeah right and now i'm going to dig in my toes and prove them wrong okay but. But how are you? We're incredibly unhappy, but I read a study that said that we were more likely to break up, and so we just simply won't.

You are putting your stubbornness ahead of your happiness. Yeah, I am. That's the key to a long and happy marriage. I'm very happy. Well, we mentioned before Christmas, how many days? 75 days. A study's been done. This is out of America.

75% of people receive up to seven presents a year, which they will never use. Oh, dear. I don't think I've received any presents this year that I didn't like. I like presents. You like presents. See, I'm just like, eh. I like presents. You like presents. See, I'm just like, eh. I love presents.

Unless it's a gift, something you really want, like just don't bother. Love me a voucher. Yeah, I mean, you can't lose with a voucher. Oh, Lord, I love a voucher. Yeah, I mean, I've been through phases. I feel like I'm quite easy to buy for. Do you know what I mean? Like you can't really, you know the stores I mean, I've been through phases. I feel like I'm quite easy to buy for. Do you know what I mean?

Like, you can't really, you know the stores I like, and I've always liked a bottle of wine or something like that. But there are some people that are very difficult to buy for, and so you sort of panic and buy them weird things. Yeah, so bad books or romance novels, hankies, socks, aftershave. Hankies! We're seen as dull items to be gifted on birthdays, Christmas, and other occasions.

57% of people do not want clothing of any kind being selected by somebody else. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, voucher for clothing. Voucher for clothing.

Like, yeah, don't just buy a t-shirt and hope they like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not going to get the fit right. Yes. You don't know how

they want to wear it. Nah. But yeah, so many people as well donate. Like 26% of people have donated disappointing gifts to charity. And while 14% will just hide stuff out of sight, out of mind. Like, oh, I'm never going to use this. Chuck it in the cupboard or the drawer.

And it just stays there. It's just a waste. There was a while where Aaron was very difficult to buy for, it would seem. And people would get him strange gifts in his family, like really bizarre things. And I don't know why, I guess like you can't really buy him clothes. He's a very big fellow. He's a big man. They'd buy like a weird speaker or something, you know, like a...

Like a novelty speaker. Yeah. What are you going to do with that? Put it in the garage. Put it in the shower. Put it in the shower. Yeah, stuff like that. Like a novelty speaker. Yeah. What are you going to do with that? Put it in the garage. Put it in the shower. Put it in the shower. Stuff like that. And you're like.

Gotcha. Yeah. What you don't want to fall into is getting too many gifts for something you kind of like. Because then people are like, oh my God. It's me and cats. You and cats. Everyone would just get you cat things.

Because I've got a cat. Because you've got a cat. Because you've got a cat. Cat everything. You like cats. Everyone would just get you cat things. Because I've got a cat. Because you've got a cat. Because you've got a cat. Cat everything. You like cats. Yeah. It was what I called extreme home makeover syndrome. Yeah.

Where you would accidentally say you liked something and then it would just. Now you're sleeping in a shark bed. Exactly. You'd be living in a tsunami of things. Yeah, never tell the producers of a makeover show you like sharks. No, never do. Or anything. I think for Aaron as well, but it's because of that reason

that once, because he collected all the Lord of the Rings figurines and then so every year anyone who wanted to buy him a gift was like, oh what don't you have? And he'd be like, oh that one. They'd be like, sweet, there you go. And then when he had them all it was like, maybe that, you know, they'd lost touch of what he really wanted.

Did he ever get the ring? The ring is the necklace? No, no, no, it's just the dolls. The figurines. Please, please. You're getting into this territory with Land Rover stuff. Yeah, but I love Land Rover stuff. You couldn't go wrong. If it's got a Land Rover on it. Yeah, but what do you want? Another Land Rover toy? Yep. Toy car?

Yep. What are you going to do with it? I'm going to put it on the shelf and then Sade's going to take it down and put it in a cupboard. I don't know. Because she said that's not for display. Yeah. That's what will happen. I thought we could take some calls this morning. What do people always buy you? And maybe you're just sick of it.

Yeah. Like you've got that thing. Just that one thing and you're like, okay, yep. Like you had two dolphin things, and now you're the dolphin girl. Every birthday, you get something with a dolphin on it. I got a dolphin tattoo in the 90ss and now people think I still like them. But maybe you do like them. Maybe like Vaughan,

you get all the Land Rover figurines or Star Wars stuff. Yeah. Or maybe you're sick of it. And maybe you're done with it but you're still like, oh yeah.

Or maybe there's that relative or family member that just always gets you something. I remember when I was in my goth phase, my auntie, God bless,

bought me the Mariah Carey CD. Okay. The one with the rainbow across the Mariah Carey CD. Okay. The one with the rainbow across the T-shirt. Yeah, right. Interesting choice. Was she trying to un-goth you? Yeah, not quite cradle of filth, but you got close.

Talking about the gifts that you always get, maybe you're sick of getting the same thing, but people just don't realise you're not that into dolphins. Yeah, I loved koalas as a child, for sure. Yeah, yeah. I don't need a house full of them. Ask the messages in. Of things you've got that you don't want.

I love reading, but it's getting to the point of ridiculousness. For my birthday, I got 15 books from my friends. It was the only thing anybody got me books. But, like, is that good? Are they good books? Well, if you love reading. Yeah. I'm kind of like, yeah, they're never going to go out of fashion

or, you know, go off. But wouldn't you rather have a voucher for a bookstore? Bill Cosby's fatherhood hasn't aged well. Hasn't it? No. Oh, I've been flicking through it this week. Somebody said,

beware of the mother-in-law at the local craft market because she'll be like, oh, you know who'd love that? Stephen. Yeah. Stephen would love that? Stephen. Yeah. Stephen would love that. Stephen drinks beers and the sign says Stephen drinks beers.

Mothers-in-law love a craft market. Yeah, they love it. So anything carved into a slab of wood. Recipe books. Somebody said I had display recipe books, barely even opened them and people would notice my recipe books and be like, oh, give her more recipe books. Barely even opened them, and people would notice my recipe books and be like, give her more recipe books. She must have every recipe ever booked.

Four years in a row, my grandmother has gifted me a Bible. Had gifted me a Bible. I think she got the clue, though, because now I get alcohol or cocktail kits. Hey, you. Cocktail kits. That's a good one. That's a real swing around from Gran. Real change from Gran.

Who apparently found Satan later for the rest of her life. Asking you what people always buy you, the gifts you always get, the same thing. They're like, oh, she loves candles. Oh, but if you had lots of candles. I know, but Aaron's been like, no more candles. Oh, have you been banned? We've got 50 candles. You're on a candle bandle.

We're on a candle bandle. I actually suggested for Aaron's birthday at the weekend that the girls make him a special candle for him. Oh, what flavour? It was because they've got these new test scents, and it's enough to make one candle, so you can make it and smell it and see what it smells like. See, he would like if it was for him,

but the candles are usually for me. Yeah. Body wash sets. Oh, no. Africa. Do you remember, my mum used to get, and we're guilty as charged.

My mum was a hard woman to buy for. Yeah. As a kid, we'd all pull our money and buy her a little wicker basket with packed stuff, some cellophane in there to pack it out. And these,

what I'm guessing were pre-bath bomb bath bombs. These little bath balls and they were filled with oil and I think they'd dissolve in the bath and then, gosh, she had so many of those. Yeah, I know. And she would never use them. Pamper package. Yeah, and little soaps that look like roses from the top. Yes.

Yeah, and she just never used them. Of course not. They just sit there gathering dust. When we moved out of home, she just chucked them all away. Adara, what do you always get gifted? Good morning. So I'm actually a teacher, so I'm hoping my students aren't listening to this on the way to school.

Oh, no. Oh, God. I would have gone with a less identifiable name than Adara. Yeah. I know. It's not a Lisa. You're going to stitch me up there. But no, I always get candles and I'm never like a no person to a present.

But my spare room wardrobes are like 60 candles in there. You can't use them all because it's like conflicting scents or, you know, your house is basically like a shrine with all the candles you've got going on. Could you re-gift these candles? Well, the thing is, like, my family and friends have made jokes about it. So if I re-gift them, they know it's going to be a no. Yes, they're going to know. Yeah.

You need a blackout. Like, we need a big power crisis. Exactly. And so I'm just trying to. I know what you mean about the conflicting sense Because if you get a couple of different candles You're like well I can't have two going at once Very different parts of the house

Yeah you've got to Exactly so you've got to like balance it all out So I'm feeling like I'm just going to go through like one or two a year And find about 85 and then we're good to go Okay if your students are listening What would be a better gift? Like a bottomless brunch voucher? My mum used to make my teachers Russian fudge.

A bottle of wine would be a better gift. Yeah, I don't know if you can send a kid to school with a bottle of wine, though, can you? Put it in a disguisable, like, carded box. So now you're encouraging children to be boozed to school in a brown paper bag. Exactly. No dramas, right? I love that. I love that.

Hey, thanks. You call some messages in. Porcelain dolls. Oh, creepy. I got one when I was six and I was like, this is nice. This is a flash dolly. But unfortunately all through the rest of my childhood and teen years, I was getting more and more porcelain dolls. Yeah, no, creepy. That's creepy.

They are creepy. My sister used to buy me incense every Christmas and a giant lollipop. I hated both. I finally told her after about six years of a lot of incense and a giant lollipop. Can you say it? I'll just take it, Bella.

Oh my God, thank you so much. I cannot stand incense. I love it. I don't burn it at home, but I love it. Get a candle. It's so thick. The smell of incense is a thick smell. Yuck. I love it. But I, you know, I was raised a candle. It's so thick. The smell of incense is a thick smell. Yuck.

I love it. But I, you know, I was raised a witch. So I burnt a lot of incense in my head. Essential. I did mention on air and on the podcast that for my birthday, because Aaron was busy, I went and bought my favourite author's new book and I handed it to him and said, wrap that and give it to me on my birthday. Like a sexy medieval book.

Middle evil? Middle evil. Medieval. Medieval kind of a book. Romance. It's a romance? Yeah. Well, it's sort of a big historical epic.

Right. It's going to be really, really good. It's going to be really, really good. It's going to be really good. Anyway, so he gave it to me and I suspected he had already read it because he tends to do this. It's like, take my new books and if I don't read them immediately, he just reads it. And you don't like that because it what? It makes the pages all...

He bends the spine, Fletch. Oh, wait, he opens it right up? He opens it right up. And then often to put it down, he'll just put it down on its front. Oh, my God. Get a bookmark. Books for our friends. Yeah.

I know, it's horrendous. I was like, I'd rather you dog-ear the bloody page. Anyway, he didn't do that and instead he gave me a bow. It was a whole thing. It was really cute. But yesterday I was like, I'm going to dive into my bookie-wookie-wookie. And I could see that Aaron was like sniffing around and wanting to sort of know like, oh, so when's it set in relation to the series

and all this kind of stuff. So he's read the books as well. Yeah, yeah. I put them onto them of the whole series, of which this I think is the fifth book. So what's it called again? You share a passion for reading and sort of a genre. Yeah. Because Shade will be like, you've got to read this book. And I'll be like, what's it about? And he's a passion for reading and sort of a genre. Yeah.

Because Shadow will be like, you've got to read this book. And I'll be like, what's it about? And he's like, oh, man killed 80 children. And I'll be like, you grimdark one with no idea at all. No, he'll read anything, but he loves an epic. It's called The Armour of Light. It's from the Kingsbridge series by Ken Fuller. The Armour of Light.

The Armour of Light. In the Kingsbridge series. And again, you don't play Dungeons and Dragons. And I don't. Because that 100% sounds like something out of Dungeons The Armour of Light. The Kingsbridge series. And again, you don't play Dungeons and Dragons. And I don't. Because that 100% sounds like something I've got to go to Dungeons and Dragons. It does. It's set in 1792. Perfect.

So we're early. Okay. We're going back. Anyway, I could see on Aaron's face that he was like sniffing and being like, where are we? We're in Kingsbridge. Right. Have you started the book by now?

Well, I started it. Yeah. And then I had an idea and I was like, well, why don't we do this? We'll read it together. And he was like, how? And I was like, well, why don't we do this? We'll read it together. And he was like, how? And I was like, we'll each read out a chapter out loud. And so that's how we're going to read this book. And this is what you think is cute.

Oh, my God. A chapter is like a lot to read out loud. Yeah, but we're performers. We love it. We love doing the voices. Oh, my God. Do you do the voices? Yeah, well, not like too intense.

He's not like, my lady. Well, I'm disappointed. I, for one, would like that. But we do a soft variance in the voices. Right. I think this is going to be a great way to read the book. It'll be slower. So much slower reading out loud.

Yeah, but you're on more of a, so the person receiving the reading is like just getting taken on a bit of a sort of hypnotism almost. Well, it's like the audio book, right? An audio book, yeah. And then the next night, you're up for the chapter. I tried doing this with Harry Potter with the girls and doing the voices.

Yeah, that's right. And then by like a few chapters in, they were like, no, you've done that voice. That's McGonagall's voice. You can't use that for another teacher. Oh, God, we've only got so many characters in us. Fussy. Yeah, we're too fussy.

We just like watched the movies then. Yeah, old English woman. I was like, yeah, you know who's done this better? Movies. Yeah. Well, that's how we're too fussy. We just like watch the movies then. Yeah, old English woman. I was like, you know who's done this better? Movies. Yeah. Well, that's how we're going to read this book. And I'll tell you, it's a fatty. Like it's one of those big Oh no, this will take forever. Huge pages.

I would almost need a pre-read. I wouldn't be confident enough myself in an out loud read without making mistakes. Do you know I'm a very good cold reader. I've always been like that. Voiceovers and stuff, I just go raw dog into the booth. What if you're having one of those nights and you've had an argument, though? Then I'll read it like this.

It'll be terse. Yeah. Okay. The Grandmaster went to the cathedral. Wow. How I would long to go to a cathedral right now to get away from you. Just like that.

I would say if you've had an argument, maybe skip a night and wait till you've rekindled. I think it's really going to bring us back together. You know, some couples like to have sex. Well, you make it sound like you're drifting apart. Do they? Yeah, apparently. Which ones?

I don't know. Fresh ones. Must be. We like to read a book out loud together. Pretty cute. Play ZM's Fletch for the Nailie. Play ZM. Off air, just now we were trying to discover if we're all snail girlies or not.

I'm definitely not. Fletch, you're a bi-snail. A bi-snail? A bi-snail-skewel. I don't think he's a snail. He rushes. Yeah, he does. What is the definite, because this is a thing now.

So it's apparently the healthier alternative to the girl boss. So while a girl boss rushes, always striving for more, mahi, mahi, mahi. Yep. The snail girl keeps things slow and steady. Right. Now, slow and steady is not me. Why don't they pick a cute slow thing? Why are we wet?

Big, fat, wet sloths. Slides around leaving a trail behind it. Like girl sloth. That's way nicer. Yeah. Sloths are cute. No, but sloths are cute. Sloth is also a sin.

And it's being called lazy. Yeah. The sloth was named after the verb. Oh, I don't know. Yes, it was. Right? Because it moves so slow. From the bibble.

Yeah, they were like, that needs a word. That animal needs a name. It's very slow. We'll call it a sloth because it's slower. So they say when the girl boss constantly pushes through the stress and the work to feed her ambition, that's me, stressor, the snail girl goes back into her shell When she needs to If the girl boss needs to achieve more

To feel happy The snail girl is just happy to move At her own pace Not about stopping work altogether It's just about doing it at your own pace Even saying this frustrates me I need to move faster I want to get going

I want to move, move, move The girl boss can plant all the lettuces, but she's got to sleep, babe, and that's when the snail comes in. Yeah, right. So you think you could be a bit of both? You'd be a girl boss planting the lettuce. No, no, no. I'm saying the girl boss is working hard, planting all these seeds, these little seed growing, these little business seedlings, and the snail girl comes in.

I tell you what, I'm sprinkling some blitz in around this garden. I'm blitzing. Blitzing snails. Now, can we head to our girlies in the booth? Carween, Shannon, are you snail girls? Yeah, I think I try to be. Like, try get through the admin in one go

and then try, like, leave work and leave work at the door. You know what I mean? Wow. I take mine home. Wow. Every time Aaron says something, I always say, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. And he's like, what are you doing? And I don't even do that bit at home. Every time Aaron says something I always say Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. And he's like, what are you doing?

And I don't even do that bit at work. It's bizarre. But yeah, I feel like that's the Gen Z movement of trying to have a better work-life balance. I feel like that's where the snail girlies are coming in. So you don't want to be all old and run down and burnt out? Yeah, pretty much. It's pretty fun.

Karwina, are you a snail? I don't think so. I think that at the moment especially, I'm real hustling. You're a girl boss. Yeah. Jared, are you a snail girl? No, I am a male.

No, I am a big man. I'm a male. No, I don't know what animal. Would you be a man snail? Koalas are slow. Oh, yeah, koalas. Koala's my favourite know what animal. Would you be a man snail? Koalas are slow. Oh, yeah, koalas. Koala's my favourite animal in the world. We should have got that shook on koalas or sloths.

Koala girl. Riddled with clap. Yeah, again, that's not a good, yeah. Another tick on the book for you. You know, like, I don't know what the perfect animal for me would be. What's this? What's this? A Tasmanian devil?

Yeah, that's me. A ball of potent energy. Sugar glider. A sugar glider. Oh, a hummingbird. Hummingbird, you know, they're like... They always look like frantic and anxious, but I don't know if they are.

I think that's just them. Yeah, great. There you go. That's me. A frantic, anxious hummingbird. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Today's fact of the day I told you I was going to tell you about the rollercoaster Before rollercoasters Are we going to make it to the end of this week without Sorry my brain just went Ronan Keating It should be in the background every day I don't know if it should be Chili Peppers love rollercoaster

You give me that funny feeling in my tummy. No, Running Peeves is going to be Ronan. It's got to be Ronan. How many songs about roller coasters have there been? Let me type in roller coaster. We have Bleach's Roller Coaster. Who? Bleach's.

Bleach's Roller Coaster. Oh, that was the guy that was. Bleach's. Yeah. This is the guy that was. Jack Antonoff. Yeah, Jack Rollercoaster. Oh, that was the guy that was... Oh, Bleaches. Yeah. This is the guy that was... Jack Antonoff. Yeah, Jack Antonoff. Right.

His band. Run as Punchy. That song. There is... Ronan Keating. Aaron Watson has a song called Rollercoaster Ride. Jonas Brothers have a 2019 song. Robin Thicke, Ronan Keating, Red Hot Chili Peppers.

We uncancelled Robin Thicke when his dad died, eh? Or did we recancell him? I don't know. Where's he at on the cancelling scale? It's a soft... Okay, carry on. Okay, perfect. It hadn't even crossed my mind.

One of the earliest coasters in America wasn't a full-time roller coaster. I told you roller coasters invented yesterday by a man who wanted to take New Yorkers away from debauchery and sin for their entertainment. Well, there was a roller coaster before that. It was the Monch Chunk Switchback Railway. Monch Chunk.

Monch Chunk. I hate when someone calls me a Monch Chunk. Same. I'm always like, excuse me, it's been a long winter. I'm a little bit Monch Chunk-y, I'm a little bit munch chunk-y. I'm a little bit munch chunk-y. I'm munched chunk-y as I'm over ours. I'm munched too much and now I'm chunk.

So this was a gravity railway. It was built in 1872 to haul coal. Right. Between coal mines. Oh my God, it's the original gold rush from Rainbow's End. Correct. Correct. So it would go up.

Yeah. When it was empty, it was pretty light. So they'd have some oxen to pull it up, or some draft horses to pull it up the hill. They'd load it up with one and a half tonnes of coal and then just be like, huff, push. And it would go, whew, down a track. And they'd ride it.

50 miles an hour through the valley so it got to the point where everyone was like that whizz is past our house and shit it looks fun oh that looks like a good time any chance we could sit in it

so then in 1873 it was in the morning it would haul coal yeah and it would haul coal. Yeah. And it would haul it back up empty all the way to the top.

And then people would jump in and they'd pay 75 cents each. Yeah. Which would have been a decent amount back in the day. Yeah. 75 cents each. And then they would ride it nine miles. Nine miles. That's a long way. It's a long walk.

Oh. Or you could sit in it while it was being pulled, but then these draft horses, they're used to pulling it empty, not full of people. Yeah. 30,000 people rode it in 1873. Wow. You might be thinking, seatbelts?

Nope. Nope. Hold on. They sat in the coal carriage. Yeah. They just held on. I was looking up photos. Obviously no video of it but there are some like photos

and people had taken their own chairs. Like they were sitting on like crates and boxes. You wouldn't want to get a sooty bum. No. One of those warehouse

$12 chairs, those white ones. The plastic one. About $12. Has inflation hit a beautiful white plastic lawn chair? It used to be like $5. You want to wait

until a Boxing Day sale if you can't afford to wait because you'll get those things for $5. Let me look. $5. They're always good to have in five bucks. You want to wait until a Boxing Day sale if you can't afford to wait because you'll get those things for five. Let me look. Five buckets. They're always good to have in the garage. 14. 14.

14. Yeah, 14 is the current white classic resin chair. I tell you what. Yeah. I don't mind seeing one collapse under some weight. Awesome. That little crack before the collapse. I'm a leaner on a chair, even outside.

On one of those, I'll be leaning on it, and it'll be wobbling, and then you go down. Does your wife not say, don't lean on the chairs? That's what I did, Aaron. Don't lean on the chairs. I always say that the kids don't lean on the chairs. My mum still says that. Break your neck if you fall over.

Don't tell me what to do. I'm an adult now. Yeah, don't tell me what to do. So the railway, the Munch Chonk, isn't there anymore. It got taken away. It never got any safe, but also no reports of any accidents or deaths as a result. As a result of it. They were just, the carriages would have been like so heavy.

There's no way they would have ever come off, right? Yeah, and sometimes we cotton wrap ourselves these days, don't we? 50 miles an hour. What's that? 60 miles an hour is 100km, so 50 miles an hour is up over 80. You're rocketing along on a rickety-ass old track.

I would have thought coming off would have been a very real... It was straight, but it was also straight down a hill. And no loops or anything. No loops. No loop-de-loops. Wim anything. No loopty loops. Wimps. No loopty loops.

So today's fact of the day is before someone built an official roller coaster there was just a really steep hill that they used to bring coal down on a track and they used to let you ride it in the afternoons. Fact of the day. Day. Day. Day.

Day. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Now, this is a juicy story. Oh, my God. A girl came, Laurie. She was out at dinner. I can't. She was out at a restaurant with her mum having dinner right? And they're sitting there opposite each other and then the mum's looking at the menu and then the mum says in it,

do you see your daddy? And she says, yes. And then it zooms over to this guy and then the caption says, out at a restaurant to eat with my mum and there's my dad eating a meal with his girlfriend saw his dad saw my dad with his side chick

so they're like at the same restaurant from a mummy daughter date Wait, did they know? No! I thought the mum knew and she Oh no! How would she be keeping it calm? Me and my mum go to, no she doesn't keep it calm after that, she's just like, do you see, are you seeing what I'm seeing?

And Nick and I, they're going over and being like, hello. It's me, your wife and your daughter. So they caught him. They just, it was like the stars aligned and they just happened to choose this restaurant at this time for a little mum daughter dinner date. So was the dad like, I'm not going to be home tonight. So mum's like, oh, well, I'll go out for dinner. You and me and Laurie will go out for dinner with- You and me and Laurie will go out for dinner.

Why not? Next minute, small town, same restaurant, same time. And he doesn't see her. Like, they're like zooming like this for a while. Always, yeah, like in small towns, it must be so hard to have an affair.

There's like three restaurants. Yeah, totally. One of them's Thai. One of them's Thai, yes. One of them's Thai. One of them's Indian. Yeah. One of them's Chinese. of them's Thai one of them's Indian yeah one of them's Chinese

no the other one's just a pub of no discerning they do have a Chinese takeaway but it's sort of select your own in a polystyrene container don't overfill the container

or you get charged an overfill fee two dollars overfill but to sit down Thai yeah but it's a Thai restaurant not run by Thai people

so some of the mosaic-y stuff on the wall is actually Cambodian and Vietnamese yeah yeah yeah love that it's a Thai restaurant not run by Thai people. So some of the mosaic-y stuff on the wall is actually Cambodian and Vietnamese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love that. It's sort of a this area restaurant. It's Thai, but you can also order a butter chicken there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's weird. It's confused. And the Indian restaurant's not happy about it because that's really treading on their toes. Yeah, so they've got like a Singaporean noodle dish going, well, you know, if we're going to be covering our bases here. And then the pub's like, oh, we've also got a prawn curry like what's what's going on yeah it's not very good i wouldn't get it absolute scandal anyway i want to know this is verging on an impossible phoner but i'm not i'm not ready to commit have you ever caught a parent cheating i reckon it's not it's not it's not close

to impossible it's very possible because you think about the people who are in your life the most. If it's not your partner that finds you cheating and you've got kids, it's going to be your kids. It's going to be your kids. Yeah, you're all swimming around the same house, phones, you know, kids playing on phones. Yeah.

Because your kids would play before they got their own phones. They'd have a tutu on your phone, wouldn't they? Oh, yeah, yeah. You might get a message from Laura Lee. Laura Lee. Yeah. I was getting a lot of messages from that Gilmore girl. Or the kids on mum's iPad and see some naughty videos. Oh my god, off mum?

No! That's not dad's. My retinas. That's not dad's, Willie. I know dad's and Bob's in the bath. So, alright, well let's take some calls. Maybe it is verging on an impossible phone, alright? Maybe it's not. Have you ever discovered a parent cheating? Because then the next step is what do you do?

Do you tell mum or dad? I know. So this is an ever unfolding story because they went over and confronted, but no update on what's happening. But at least she found out at the same time as mum. I know. Because then she didn't have to tell mum. Yeah, she wasn't plagued with what do I do here. I know.

Yes. But if you saw mum or dad. Yeah, what do you do? Do you tell? Do you tear the family apart? Good Lord, I asked and I have received. Calls of when you caught a parent cheating. Based on the story of a mother and daughter who caught their father.

The father. So many. Oh my God, I know. So many messages in. Let's start with Jess. Jess, what happened? Hello. Hello.

Did you catch a parent cheating? Yeah. So when I was, before I turned 10, I caught my mum cheating on my dad. And they're like text messages and stuff and then until like I knew what was happening and like she would basically always make sure I'd hang

out with his daughter so for my 10th birthday I made sure to invite his daughter and my dad and my dad was overseas and he came back to America for my birthday and yeah then it basically just all orchestrated the parents. So my dad, my mum, I and his wife had a lovely conversation outside. At your 10th birthday party.

Oh, my God. I mean, you orchestrated this. You little devil. We're going to do the limbo. Under the brimstone. It was at the limbo. Under the broomstick. It was at a bowling alley, so. Oh, my God. That ramped it up.

You're arguing in shoes that you don't own. No, I know. I like to argue on bare feet or a pair of my own sturdy shoes. Especially those slippery floors at the bowling alley. I know, you can chuck someone down. Jess, what happened fast forward? Like, did they end up breaking up? So, my parents were basically on the brink.

They were separating. So I think it was just the last straw. Right. And yeah. It was inevitable. Yeah. So I knew it was happening, but I guess to speed it up. Wow.

But you found out. You found the text. Oh, my God. Well, yeah, it's kind of hard when I'm also going to, like, these, like, catch-ups with her and, like, with her daughter, and, like, they're, like, clearly flirting. Oh, my God. Weird.

That's so crazy. Where are your kids going to play outside? Oh, jeez. We're going to go and watch a movie in this bedroom. Thanks to you, Cole. Some messages. So many. Somebody said, in the car next to us.

What on earth does this mean? Oh, okay. Hold on. Not a parent, but my granddad. I was in the car with my mum and we pulled up to the lights and saw my granddad with a hot young blonde in the car next to us. Go, granddad. You can't be angry. Grand but my granddad. I was in the car with my mum and we pulled up to the lights and saw my granddad with a hot young blonde in the car next to us. Go, granddad. You can't be angry.

Granddad, granddad, granddad, granddad. Oh, but where was grandma? She was probably at home getting dinner ready. Yeah, she was. Bloody overboiling some broccoli. Yeah, from three o'clock. I was... Listen to this.

Juicy little nugget. I was eight and my stepmum asked me to go next door to get some toilet paper. I walked in because I was eight and my step mum asked me to go next door to get some toilet paper I walked in because I was eight yeah and the door was like open

so I opened I walked in I caught my old man with the neighbours daughter and they were kissing no the daughter was in her 30s it wasn't like a

yeah right never told a soul until now we're the first to hear we're the first we're the first wait so mum and dad stayed together? They must have.

Oh my God, follow up, please. Mum and dad still together. What? Anonymous. Anonymous. What a story. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

Now we're talking about catching your parents cheating. Because someone online shared catching your dad cheating. And the stories we're getting at are just wild. I love this. Jessie, what happened? You caught your stepdad. Hi, guys. Yeah.

We all went on a camping trip with my mum's best friends and my mum wasn't feeling well and my stepdad and her best friend decided to go for a walk and I caught them cheating and I kept quiet about it for like 10 years. 10 years? And then what?

So the day I found out I was pregnant was the day my mum actually got an anonymous message from someone else to say that that had happened and my mum found out I was pregnant was the day my mom actually got an anonymous message from someone else to say that that had happened. And my mom found out about it. And did they break up or stay together? They are still together, happily married. Oh, you know. They forgive him.

And they're still even friends with the friend. That was what I was reading an article yesterday. The key to a happy relationship is monogamish. Yeah, monogamish. Monogamish. Yeah. One or two slip ups

over the course of 20 years. Monogamish. It's all right. Monogamish. Monogamish. Monogamish. Monogamish. Monogamy

is just one. Monogamish. A monogamist. Yeah. A monogamist. In fact, that would be a great phone-in topic another day to discuss. Are you monogamish? Are you monogamous I'm monogamous unless it's this person or that person in fact that would be a great phone in topic another day to discuss

are you monogamous are you monogamous yeah because yeah maybe thank you for your call Jessie Kelly you caught a parent cheating

hi hi guys yeah I back when I was about 10 or 11 I went on our home computer and I discovered

that my mum was talking to another man and we were where was she was it an was talking to another man. MSN Chat. Was it an email thread or was it an MSN Chat? I think it was MSN Chat, yeah. Originally, they might have met through New Zealand dating or something. Oh, wow. Yeah, and so I looked over these messages,

so I knew what was going on. And then I didn't say anything, though. And then out of nowhere, one day, my mum was all of a sudden like, you guys need to pack a bag, we're out of here. And I still to this day remember what I put in this little cardboard box of treasures and I had a bag of clothes and put them in the car. And we drove for hours to a different town and got to this hotel. And we stayed at the hotel that night,

and then the next day, my mum kept most of it from us, because we didn't really know what was going on, and then it turns out that guy just stood her up, and they never actually met, and so we had to drive home, and then it's like nothing had happened. Oh my God.

Shame. Oh my God. Who, my God. Oh, my God. She literally just came over and she's like, look, we'll never speak of this. And did she know that you ever read the messages? No. Oh, God, no. No.

And then did she stay with your dad? Yeah, and I don't actually know the full outcome, like whether or not he ever found out. He is not with us now, but life just carried on, yeah? Oh, my God. So your dad died. Insane. Oh, really?

Your dad just died, as far as you know, not knowing anything. Good. Not good that he's dead, but they just never had to know him. Oh, well, this is the hand I've been dealt. I thought I was going to have a little sniff somewhere else, but it's not happened, so now I'm just going to stay. Oh, whoopsie. Oh, wow, this is the hand I've been down. I thought I was going to have a little sniff somewhere else, but it's not happening, so now I'm just going to stay. Oh, whoopsie. Oh, my God. That is

wild. It was quite a bizarre part of my childhood because, yeah, it was like all of a sudden we were leaving our home and, you know, what do you grab when you're 10 or 11 years old and you're told to grab what's most important to you, you know? Barbies and a jumper. Barbies and a jumper.

Barbies and a jumper. I don't know. Holy! Wait, so you got home and unpacked and everything before Dad noticed anybody was gone? No, no, no, no, no, no. So we had to go home with it. And I believe there must have been words about why we'd left.

And because I remember carrying my stuff in And my dad being like Oh is that what you took with you And yeah it was quite crazy Oh my god Is your mum still alive You've got to ask her What happened

I could not handle not knowing How do you bring that up My relationship with my parents is pretty blunt Like if someone's got a question The question gets asked I could not handle not knowing what the story was. How do you bring that up? My relationship with my parents is pretty blunt. If someone's got a question, the question gets asked, and I'm imagining this isn't the relationship here. Holy shit. It's never come up since I've been an adult.

Incredible. Are we too early for Caller of the Week? No, it's Tuesday, but you are our Caller of the Week, Caller. You've won a $50 McCafe voucher thanks to our mates at McCafe. Oh my God, share it with mum. Go take mum to McCafe and be like, hey, let's have a hooey. Let's talk about that time you made me pack up my Barbies and jump up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how I won this, mum? I love that. Oh my God, and update us too. Kelly, thank you so much. Some messages to finish up. So many. So many of these. I almost think it needs its own little pod. Potty spesh. Potty spesh. But I will finish,

because if you're going to have that story, you've got to finish on a good story. And that was a great story. Great story. This one is also a good story. Okay. We used to live in Levin. Pretty small town.

Live in Levita, like it. Live in Levin. Levin's had a lot of mentions on the show the last few weeks. Levin, yes. Great town, up and coming. Levin's getting a lot here. And our family had a very identifiable car,

a big teal V6 Valiant. Okay. Teal. Not too many teal cars around, let alone on a V6 Valiant. Anyway, I stayed at a mate's house and her mum was driving me home to drop me off. And on the way, we go past this house

and our car's outside. I was like, that's weird. Wonder what my mum's doing there. I was expecting her to be home. Yeah. So I knew if I went home, the door would be locked as dad was at work. So I said to the lady, my friend's mum, maybe just drop me off here because if mum's here,

the house is going to be locked. I assumed it was one of mum's friend's houses. So anyway, I go up to the door. I knock. And a lady answers the door. It was not my mother. A lady? Wait.

A lady. Wait. Was super shaken to see me. She was crying and had big scratch marks across her face. What? So it turned out mum had found out that this woman was sleeping with dad. And when dad was at work, she had gone around to confront her. It escalated from screaming. Mum full cat scratched her across the face. Oh, I was expecting lesbian lovers.

I was expecting dad. I was expecting dad's doing the dirty. They were just like, no, mum's driving that car. I'm like, mum's cheating on dad. And then when a woman answers the door, I was expecting lesbians. Yeah, same. I'm always expecting lesbians. It would be great if she went around to confront dad's lover

and then was like, actually, you're a bit of me. I'm a habit. But she didn't. She cat-scratch her across the face. And then this poor woman freshly scratch her. It's like, hold on, there's someone at the door. Goes to the door and is confronted with the child of the woman who just cat-scratch her across the face.

Wow. Levin, represent. Vast juicy, Levin. Vast juicy. See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Sus. That's juicy. See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Suzy Kato's a very good friend of mine.

She's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.