ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 10th September 2026

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

(00:00) Intro (01:35) Woman has traded her foster baby for a monkey? (07:05) SLP - Should tall people have to stand at the back of the mosh pit? (12:15) Tech update (17:20) Top 6 - Signs your concrete was made from poo (20:35) What was your parking mishap? (30:15) Shannon's Hack (38:00) Jojo Siwa's NEW accent (41:55) Woman has got her burrito world record back (46:40) What dumb thing did you get detention for? (59:40) Fact of the day (1:03:20) CRL World record update (1:07:20) Vuaghan's disaster afternoon (1:14:55) When did your parents not care about your big achievment? (1:28:20) New 9/11 themed cafe... (1:35:45) Be careful of bathroom fumes See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

from the ZM Podcast Network. This is... Fleshwon and Haley's Big Pod. Thanks to animates, making happy happen for pets. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch Fawn and Haley. I could just not imagine wearing a $30,000 watch. Like the gift to the police commissioner.

I don't know what I'd do with that. Which is on display in the police museum. Like, just sell it and buy a new scoda. Police car. Give it to the fire people so they can sell it and buy some more stuff. It doesn't even track your heart rate. You know what I mean? It doesn't even log my work out of my steps.

I think a $30,000 watch is also just a little bit of an indicator of what's wrong with society too. Yeah. Except we don't have time for that now, Vaughn. No, no. Do you think if we had of one lotto and we would have, you know, taking care of each other, that you'd ever sort of find yourself in a position of wearing a watch like that? No, God, no, no, no, no. Definitely not.

Wanker. Coming up on the show, the top six scientists are making concrete with human poop. They are. That's correct. Paranet's 42% stronger than concrete. Mean. That's good. Well, there's so much poop floating around. I've got the top six signs your concrete used to be pooze. I don't think you want mine.

I've got IBS. You know what I mean? Its consistency is inconsistent. Yeah. Bruno Mars tickets on the show around quarter past 20 past 7 this morning. Listen now for the activator and free fuel. Thanks to BP at 8 o'clock this morning. How good.

Next on the show, though. There's a woman who's made a pretty fair trade, I reckon. Oh, okay. Like the old school barter. Yeah, a bit of a barter. She's like, I've got something. I want something else. Let's trade. Play that ends. Fleshhorn and Haley. There is a woman. Her name is Brenda Delech. She's 70 years old. Previously was sentenced to seven years in prison.

Oh, goodness. That has now, as of yesterday, been changed. Unbelievable to three years of state supervised probation. Which is like ankle monitor, right? Yeah, you just like hang around, live your life. Still wild. I saw another guy at the gym the other day

at an ankle monitor. Yeah, I saw a guy in an ankle monitor yesterday. And I was just like hot. It's not the gym just out of about. I was just like hot. You weren't at the gym, but I was like, Haley would like this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It is funny, yeah, when you're like, good on you, just getting a little workout out in. Because are you allowed to? Do you have to be a certain thing from your house or something? Surely it'll depend on your. your crime, right? It's just a... There's a whole lot of different ones, but sometimes it's like you've got to be with...

You've got to be home at a certain time. Curfew. You can't take it off, even if that's the situation. Right. Or there's those new ones that have got like GPS monitoring in them. Right. And I think you've got to plug yourself in every now. You give yourself a little charge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that sentence from seven years in prison to three years of just basically, like,

Anglemon, which is crazy considering... Which is what they call it, Ancommon. Anki Mon. My God, I'm dating this new guy. like he's Ankemon but like it's fine He's really nice Like I'm just nervous to introduce him to my parents Because he's like Anki Mon

Things you never want to hear from your own kids Mum don't get mad He's Ankeemon He's what? Why he's like he's on the Ankemon But like what the hell is Ankemon? He's gonna an ankle monitor Don't you judge me mom

I know dad with Ankemon You do Don't tell me you didn't date a couple of guys Who were Ankeemon mom You loved an Ankeemone So the reason she's Ankeemon Which is crazy I don't know how she got away with this

because she made an exchange. Just put 9-6-96 if you're currently on Ankemon. I don't think we've got criminal listeners. No, we do. Yes, we do. We're the bad boys of great way. I would almost put money on the fact that one person... Or if you've been on Ankemon.

Yeah, 9-6-9-6. Yeah, and how did you charge yourself? What kind of plug does it have? Is it like USBC? Or did you have to put an old adapter? Oh my goodness. It's like a flat lay pad. You could lay your ankle on it like that.

Oh, you think it's wireless charging. You don't have a wireless charging. I think they dock. No. If it's wireless charging. charging the Ministry of Justice is using their money incorrectly. No, you have a wireless pad at the bottom of your bed when you sleep.

No, that's absolutely unnecessary. So don't talk to me about ankemon. I know ankemon, okay? And female ankemon's, did you have to miss shaving that bit? Yeah, you would. No, you can move it up and down a little bit. Well, the reason that this woman, Brenda Deutsch

went ankemon, is because she made an exchange. Now, the exchange she made was her, she wanted a monkey. Oh, cute. She's owned monkeys before. She's owned, no, she apparently didn't treat the monkeys very well. But she's had seven monkeys in the past.

And she was like, you know what? We're a real hankering for a monkey. She was like, what have I got to exchange for this monkey? And she was like, oh, what about this, my latest foster care child? So she exchanged. Oh, my God. A kid. And it was surfaced after excessive school absences, triggered the school to go like, where, why is this kid gone all?

Why is this kid going all? Why is this kid a monkey? and it was because the family that she had exchanged been exchanged into were a bit slack because I'm all focused on the monkeys and probably drugs as well Now I have no idea What the hell?

You get ankle monitoring for that? She's been locked up in prison I know. For slipping a child for a monkey. Yeah, I mean I get the allure of a monkey, don't get me wrong. But also, how old is she? You said she was old, eh? 70.

So it was a plea deal and they've done it because she doesn't have a great history of fostering kids. And if she said yes to the plea deal, then she like loses her license. She loses this. She'll never like be near any kids again, basically. And she's just ankeem-on now. But I'm like, where did they go for the monkeys? Oh, gosh, she started to go fund me to rebuild her independence now that she's ankemon.

America. Yeah, it's America thrown through. Who the hell is giving her money? Feeling sorry for her. Oh my God. Have we got any texts on the machine from Ankemon? Yep. Ridiculous.

On community detention for a year and police curfew a year before that. I've just messaged back. Was that Ankemon or just random checks? Because I know sometimes I'll just be like, surprise, it's 802. You should be home. Where are you? Oh, okay.

Not on Ankeemone, but I'm a police officer. Some get a curfew exemption when they, where they can go to the gym for an hour. It will still track their GPS and EM bail will be notified. Electronic monitoring. They will be notified if they deviate from their approved absence location or return home late. Oh, okay.

Anyway, how comfortable would that be on your leg, 24-7 especially? Could you say that to your parents instead? He's EM. And you're like, is that ethical monogamy? And you're like, no, no, no. Electronic monitoring. And the person who was on police curvy,

random checks and then Ankemon. And then Ankemon. Did they call it Ankemon? It was more like the police would rock up at 3 a.m. To see if you were home when you were supposed to be home overnight, they say. I just put a note in the window. I'm sleeping.

Calm down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it'd be great. Imagine a cop. That would actually, quiet period. You'd like, sure go and give them a bloody 4 am.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Or get up, Ankeem on. That would actually be quite fun, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would be. Play Z-N's, Flesh, One and Haley. In Western countries like the United States, men are considered tall starting at six foot. And woman are considered tall starting at five foot eight inches.

So you're tall. I am tall. or 183 centimetres for gentlemen. We'd all be considered tall. We are tall, yeah. I'm like nearly 5-11. Quite often people say I didn't realize you guys were tall.

Yeah, when they meet us, say we were a very tall show. Very tall. Well, so little poise at a concert should tall people have to stand at the back of the mosh pit. Here we go. Get out. Here we go. 61% of people said yes.

Yeah, but they're... Why should we stand in the back? What? No. Because we're just so far away. I'll always, when I go with my bestie who she's short, how tall is she? Five, six, five, six, something like that, five, five.

I'll always make sure if she's in front of me, but we do, we work angles. Yeah. Like I'll go behind her and then we kind of work an angle that she gets a gap, I get a gap. Although there is nothing worse, and as finding the perfect spot, you've got your angles, you can see the stage, the concert's about to start, and then some tall a-hole stands right in front of you. Dude, we were seated because, you know, was that kind of concept for Googood Dolls and Matchbox 20. Yes.

And there was a massive MFer in front of me, eh? That guy was like all torso. But you know, you just sort of make do it and you stand up a little bit. Exactly. No, no, no, no. And if you're short, don't get on shoulders because then you're a giant. Yeah, yeah. And rows behind you can't say.

Well, we asked and 61% of you said yes. And 39% of you said no. I think there's a short people and tall people. We're being targeted. Sean says I'm a 6'4 lad here Do you send you through that? Yes please

Photos? Do you want photos? Yes please Please. Happy to As long as you give up your extra leg room On flights

You also make clothes The same price as ours And you give up the ability To fit under the standard shower head as well Yeah because 6-4 He's probably had a A Johnny Biggs extra long length pant

He's getting a lengthier pant And he said Go back to your booster seat short stack. He's also, I love this, big daddy and he's telling us what to do. Yeah. Oh, you know.

Big daddy. William said six foot four. He'll chuck it through. Can't help it. Mosh pit feels more at home because you're always moving and never in the same people's way. And then that's the thing. If you're all dancing, it's all kind of everywhere.

And everyone's got their hands up with their bloody phones. Yeah. Also, get some platform shoes, short stuff. Okay. I love. Shoot and shot. I love this. Okay, other end of the scale.

Sophie says, I'm five foot purse. So it's just five foot squat. Okay. Line it up like the school photo day, I reckon. Shortest and tallest will all be able to see. Brilliant. Jimmer said, I say no, even though it would be fantastic as a five foot girlie, they're always right in front of me.

Not really fair to tell a person they're too tall to be at the front. Yeah. Lucy said, if yes, then they should automatically get exit rows on plane. for free. Yes. Yeah, there you go. Nothing like being a tall person looking over

little nannas in the exit row and you're like folded in half. She couldn't open the door. Also, your nana's not opening the exit over wing? No, she's not.

Move over you, we're, I was about to swear again. I can't do it. She's going to snap on impact. Yeah, she is. Get her in the back row. Tash said,

I'm a shorthy and tall people suck. At Bling, 1-82 and his six-foot MF stand right in front of me and I had to stretch to see Travis. Oh, move to the side. Imogen said no

I'm short as hell but I understand tall people have have rights too and they don't have binocular eyeballs Thank you Thank you Imogen Tall people are people too

Tall people aren't She doesn't know that we do have binocular eyeballs Don't tell the short people That we also have binocular eyeballs Phillip said the tallbeble Would like a seat

Because their backs are probably sore Yeah actually they do hurt I mean I'd rather have a seat To be honest anyway Oh thanks I'm not a mosh But you're nearly 50

No I'm a adjustable seat I'm close enough but just to the sign that I'm not dancing. Yeah. GA all day. As a tall person says Steph, I see how we are annoying. However, Shorty should not be in GA.

It's not safe for them. They might get stood on. It's simply not safe. It's not safe for you down there, Shorty Pie. I love that everybody's firing shots. Shorty Quddy Pie. Stand wherever you want. There are zero rules in a mosh, but honestly, if you want a bit of you,

get there earlier and fight harder for it. Yeah, true. And Courtney said from a certified short-ass, absolutely not. First and first served. just as much to be there as you are. Yeah. So, for Sylida, little power, we said at a concert, you'd talk people have to stand at the back of the mosh pit,

and surprisingly 61% of you said yes. The Fletch morning, Haley, big pod. Well, Apple this morning in a fancy event at the headquarters have announced a whole bunch of new products, including the rumored foldable iPhone, the duo, which had they've just updated their prices on the New Zealand website, People were predicting this would be very expensive and they were not wrong.

Prices in New Zealand for the new foldable iPhone, which by the way, if you've got a... It's like a Kindle on its side. Yeah, if you've got a Pro like 17 at the moment or a Pro 16, it's about 80% bigger than that. So it's like almost like two iPhones on top of each other landscape. And then you'd fold it in a half like a book. Whereas the Samsung one, does that fold up?

Yes. Yes. flips up and down like that and it's like a normal kind of phone shape. Okay, so and they've announced to the iPhone 18 as well, but that's just nah. So is that, the 18th's just standard looking iPhone? It looks exactly like the 17 Pro and the 17.

So, I'll sit this round out. The duo, prices in New Zealand start from $4,199. So $4,200. Yeah. Jeez, Louise. That's insanity. Just did a quick check on the Samsung Galaxy, Z-fold 8.

Yeah. $2,600.99 New Zealand dollars. So it's a considerably cheaper option. Yeah. Heck. This is not for me. I don't like foldy fines. Same, I don't like it.

I don't like foldy fines. I can't. If someone's going to break it, they're like, oh, we were watching the hinge thing before. So when it shuts, it's also got the screen on the front. Yeah. And then when you open it, that screen turns off and you've got the big screen. They were like, advanced hinge technology. I'm like, ah, so I break that.

fat ass will leave that in my back pocket and I'll sit on it funny and I'll open it I'll be like how'd that happen? Or like snap it open too fast like that. Yeah, well, I don't know. I think you've got to wait a month if you're wanting to buy the new products. I'm all right. I'm going to weigh. Yeah. I'll just stick to the iPad Mini. I've got an iPad Mini.

It's an iPad Mini. I rate the iPad Mini. But this almost, I think like if you travel a lot or you use an iPad a lot, it's almost like it could, you could get away with ditching the iPad if you travel. Yeah, I think so. It's kind of like the size of like a iPad. a paperback novel. Or just the mini iPad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can I give you some other tech news? Please do. I'm a tech girl. Yesterday, Armageddon Expo. This is the pop culture, you guys are pretty cool it. Nerdfest. Yeah. The Armageddon Expo, which happens all around the country, various times of the year, have said smart glasses

and other wearable eyewear with recording devices are now not permitted at Armageddon. Camera's taking photos and recording the crowds may be part of the Norman Armageddon, but no one should be captured stealthily without their knowledge and permission. Because there's a lot of people in cosplay. There's a lot of pervy dudes who are like record that for taking time for later.

Yeah, a lot of like anime-inspired cosplay. Yes, I look. That's quite sexy. The Sailor Moon outfit leaves little to the imagination. And there's like, um, furries. Yeah. Yeah. There's a bit of the, like, I'm not here to yuckin.

Anybody's yum. But that like, that kind of cosplay and like kink world have a big, cross over. Oh yeah, there's a van diagram. Bit of a bend diagram. In costume to enter like the cosplay things and that doesn't mean you can automatically take photos of them. Like walking up to someone at the beach and just like recording them in their and their canies. It is when I saw this post it's quite funny. Like they know their audience. Yeah. Also that's that that is such a bigger question those glasses. It's a question for the entire society isn't it? Really like if you guys both need glasses right? So Sam was on a date with you. What am I supposed to do? Be like can you take

those off? Well, can you show me that you're not filming? Yeah, but then you just wouldn't have... It's weird. Yeah, because are the smart glasses, can you put prescription in them? Yeah, I think so. Surely, otherwise we have what use of that? But how does the screen work? Is it projected onto... Oh my God, I don't know. Or would you have to... Also, like, can I just speak to men for a moment?

Yep. If there's a post like this and, you know, it's heavily implied that people are using these smart glasses to capture video of people and use it for nefarious purposes and sort of invade their privacy. Don't post from your public Facebook page saying it's a terrible idea and I should be allowed to do what I want and I owe you to. Dude, there's more than a few. Really? Yeah. So thank you. Yes. The standard Rayban metaframes handle a total power range of negative 12 to plus 2.25. So you can put prescription. But if you're someone like maybe Shannon's got really bad or my brother's like blind without his

glasses wouldn't be able to because my brother's ones are like those they go be on the frame so blind people can't be perverts is that what you're saying and thank God the less perverts we have in general thank God the ZM podcast network play ZM's flesh forne and Haley from the unmoderated comment section this is the top six well scientists have developed a concrete using phases and it's 42% stronger than our, what are we making concrete out of now lime and river sand?

Stones. Because China we used all its river sand. Did it? For concrete, yeah, there was a massive river sand shortage. It's the better sand apparently. We've got so much river sand. No, there's something I listen to a podcast about it. Of course you did. The sand is better

for concrete when it's round or square. But what about the Romans like are famous for their concrete It's still the same concrete Yeah Like it's super strong My driveway is like so terrible

Yeah But the Romans The Romans didn't fly up and down their driveway To Mazda CX7 You know Yeah they weren't fanging it up there A slow trot in a light horse and car Do you know I did

I had some of that like quick dry You know easy concrete mix It's so heavy The powdered stuff And it in the bag had burst And I wasn't going to use it So I threw it into the skip bin and then it rained.

I was like, what if that just turned into a brick? Brick of concrete. I've seen people who build retaining walls out of just putting those bags there and then just spraying them with water. And that's how they... It's going to work. Lazy. There's two schools on it.

Some people think it works great and some people think it's absolutely terrible and a disaster waiting to happen. I've got the top six signs your concrete used to be human poos. Number six on the list. Let's get it out of the way. How are they going to mix it in? Do they just mix it in and it work? You shit straight into the truck.

you back up to the churner at the back of the truck and then put a toilet on this on the truck and it goes in and then chuck a bit of sand in and away like anyone got one on board? Yeah. Um, top six zones of your congregate used to be human poo. Number six, let's get out of the way. It's got a bit of corn in it.

Yeah, you can just see it. It's just got a bit of corn on it. You're driving along, you're driving out. That's the corn. Corn. Corn. Corn. Number five on the list of the top six signs of your concrete used to be human poo. You touch it, you stiff it and you go poo. Pooh.

Pooh, what's that? What's that? Smell. Poo. Poo. I kind of like it. Number four on the list of the top six signs your concrete used to be human poos. After a big night out, your concrete's a bit runny.

Oh, and get a bit of a slight tang to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a bit of soury. Oh, holy. Woo. Number three on the list of the top six signs of your concrete used to be human poo. Bit of blood in it. Oh, no. I think you should get your driveway checked.

Yeah, Jesus Christ. Don't be embarrassed. Yeah. Get a colonoscopy on that thing. Number two on the list of the top six signs your concrete used to be human poo A bit of toilet paper stuck in the corner Oh no

Oh no A little bit of toilet paper Side of the driveway Sort of flapping in the wind Yeah Pull that out Top six signs Your concrete used to be human poo

Number one on the list Rather than your car Leaving Leaving leaving skid marks on your driveway Your driveway Leave skid marks on your car Yeah Okay

I'm sure how it works But you know And once it dries on Yeah You're really gonna have to piss Quite hard on the car to get it off Yeah you are Aim, get it down, get it moving.

Had it hard with some urine that's today's top six. The Z&M Podcast Network. Right now, we want to know from you, 1,800M, you can text through 9-696. What was your parking, miss hat? When did, when did a car going very slow? I'm guessing into a small space. Go terribly, terribly wrong.

Yeah, maybe you're backing out of it. You can fuse the pedals. You're pulling in somewhere and, I don't know, you slipped. I don't know. So this act, because we wanted to talk with this because yesterday at Calston McDonald's, Calston is a West Auckland suburb. So I've been to this McDonald's. Yes, so have I.

Because this was by our, yeah, it's by our friends place. Yes, yeah. So you've pretty been in the later hours of the evening for us. No, actually. Or pre-drink nugs because you've got to line the tummy. Yeah, it was, yeah. Do we know what happens when you don't?

So the car ended up on its roof. How? How? You can find these sweaters online. You can work it out then. You should join the special crash investigation unit. Is it one of those ones where there's one... Is there a gap, like a drop?

There's a car park above it. Right. So I think they've gone over that and maybe freaked and turned as they went and hit. One side and rolled. Okay. Because you know that this is sort of a slight digression for a moment. the new McDonald's where we live for them,

they admit every time I go through regularly. Yeah, the QMU one. They made it too tight. Is it always curb? It's a nightmare in the Ranger. I'm like... You've got to go over a curb to get around the bend. Oh, right, okay.

It's like from the speaker to the window. Because I remember back in the day, famously, the Nelson, KFC and Tohuna. Yeah. It had a hill start before you got to the window. Did it handbrake? Yeah. Ready to go.

Yeah. In a manual like, come on. Yeah. It did it. I think they changed it though because they re-noted it a few years back. Yeah, right. Yeah. It might still be there.

I'm just looking. I'm on the Google Maps. I'm going to hit the street view. Oh, gosh. It was a while ago. That was like 2000s. Yeah. Back in the day when I lived in Nelson.

Yeah. Mm. So parking messets because I'm lucky I haven't had one. My driver is on a slight lane. and my boyfriend drives a car that does everything, like it's electric, so you just basically pull up and then you just get out of the car and it just turns off.

So when he drives my car in which you need to put the handbrake on, put it in park and turn the vehicle off, he'll often just get out. Yeah. And sometimes I get in and I'm like, oh, it's wiggling in here. I knew someone that was driving a manual and was the next person to use the car and because someone had left it in part,

I had put the park brake on and put it in first. Yes. Which is what you do, right? He started the car and it lurched forward into a tree. Wow. I think the most dangerous part about your driveway sprawl is the ditch outside. Sometimes if I'm backing out and I'll turn to get the ass end out onto the road and you're like, whoa. Yeah, I know.

It's the big ditch you end up in and your belly out in that. Okay, well, it was a, sorry. Someone just messaged in. Have you heard about the Dunsandle parking accident, the Dunsandle pub? about five days ago. No. Apparently was a kid picking up their dad

because their dad had been on the bus. They drove through the park. They were going to park in front of it and must have... Just keep going. Wait, how on was this kid? Like 10? They just said kid.

Oh, okay, we need to know more about that. 16 year old. A sick... Oh. Okay, so they can... I was, in my head, the beautiful story was a 10 year old was told to grab the keys

and come get dad from the pub. No, they're 16. Also, like, aren't you driving on the farm from when you're like 10 anyway? Yeah, you'll be right. Yeah, okay. I mean, good on dad for not drunk driving. Okay, 0,800 dials at em.

We want to take your calls now, Texas, 9-696. What was your parking mishap or disaster? Somebody flipped their car in the Kaltston McDonald's drive-thru yesterday in West Auckland. What a day! What do you even do on the insurance claim? Wanted nugs. F-up, effed up parking, flipped car. Yeah, flipped car.

Was it post-nug? Because if the nugs are coming out of the box, that's a bad day. Yeah, it is. DJ, what was your parking mishap? Oh, it was my daughter. Okay. Our driveway goes straight down into a garage, but there's a little parking bay on the right.

So she drove down the drive, turned into the little parking bay, and went to reverse back around so she could drive straight out of the drive. Yep. And her boots got caught up in the pedals. And her car, and the car just spun right around, like almost 360, and ended up diagonal across the garage door. Oh, my God. So the garage had to be braced, and the car had to be, like, with a special tow-to.

like lifted out the walls of the garage. Oh, no. Okay, so we don't drive in Uggboots anymore then. Don't do that. My dad was always like, you'd always take your jandals off when I would wear jandals because they'd flip your thing,

but Ugg boots. It was wild that it was illegal to drive in bare feet, but it wasn't illegal to drive in jandals. Because it's way better. They do that when they get bent over and caught. Oh, God. Yeah, well, great. DJ, thank you.

Jacob, what was your parking, miss app? Yeah, when I went to, go kiss my, or went out a date with my girlfriend for the first time. I tried to kiss her for the first time. Cute move. He ended up kissing her on the nose and so got a bit panicked and jumped out of the car and

left the car in park. Reach my foot back in to try and push the brake. Ended up hitting the accelerator and ramming into appearance garage. Dude, wait. Smooth, dude. Smooth, man. Dad was just standing and then be like, this cannot be the way.

Just about in front of the car as well. I almost her. Oh my God. And Jacob, are you still with this girl? Yep. Married four years later. Yeah. There we go. Wow. That is the most clear. You must have really turned that terrible kissing technique around. Yeah. Yeah. Just got a couple of tricks up a sleeve. You better make up for it later. Holy moly. Yeah. When you go away for a romantic weekend to, you know, like a, I don't know, like one of those cabins. She drives? Yeah, no, no, I still drive. Yeah. Thank you.

Were you just, was it just the nerves? Yeah, it was. That's so cute. It's actually a pretty cute anyway. Do you know what? It probably endeared you to her more. Totally. But also the thing that you panicked for the nose cast and like leapt out of the car is so funny.

And I went inside so panicked that her parents were so nice about it. They were like, oh, it's all good. We can fix it. We can fix it. It's all good. And then I was like sitting there like shaking. I was so like. That's super cute.

That's really cute actually. Are we going to call her the week? I do you know I was literally going to say I think Jacobson to the week. It's such a wholesome story. You're a sweetie. We'll hook you up thanks to chemistry warehouse, home of the biggest brands, lowest prices, little prize pack for you there. Jacob, wait there.

Some messages in. Friend of mine got in her car after shopping at Pack and Save, and the car in front of her had left. She's like, sweet, I'm going to drive right through, not knowing there was a concrete divider. Oh, yep. Two, by the way. One to stop the cars coming the other way as well.

They got over the first one, panicked. Got over the second one and it ballied the car out and both wheels were off the ground. Because I always do that if I've parked and I'm like, hell yeah, man, drive straight out. Yeah. But I see, I do too. But I'm an arranger, so I just don't care. Yeah.

Get over those things. Oh my God. I was pulling into my parents' driveway. I forgot to move my foot from the accelerator. The brake drove straight through their garage door and smashed into the car on the other side. No. My partner's cousin was 22 and having her first driving lease

in an empty car park. Tried to park the car. Managed to drive over the top of the massive bit of concrete. Got stuck right on the tip of the concrete and the car was like ballied out on the seesaw. And they couldn't get it off. They had to get a tow truck. How embarrassing in an empty car park?

Like on a Sunday morning, no one's here. Oh, yes. I'd try everything before I called someone. I'd get the jack out and jack up the back of the car. So as the wheels were down. So as the wheels were down. Yeah. I had to reverse park when it was getting my waft done.

The guy came to say your car's passed, but did you realize you scraped all the way down the wall when you were trying to park? Oh. They said, so that's why you turn your radio down when you're reversing. Yeah, yeah. At least you're listening to ZM. You know what?

Turn it down. But you don't want to miss a damn thing. I moved to Napier. There are two streets. in the main part of town. Both of them one way streets where they go

in opposite directions. One time I went down the wrong way of one of them and there's a car coming the other way I had to try to reverse and then parallel park could not do it for the life of me and a panic.

Hit a car, had to keep going and got out of the way one of the shopkeepers came out, helped me park my car easily the most embarrassing day of my life. Oh my dad was doing

the skid in the shit on Christmas Day. Now, wait what Dad should know better getting a turn in the tires. Of course he would. In the garage.

Yeah, that's bad. the VK Commodore gripped and sent through the side of the shed and into my auntie's minivan. We don't like her, so it's okay. Oh, that's good. Regardless of whether or aren't you like it, now you've got a hole in the shed and I'm assuming some damage to the VK.

And I'm guessing Dave was a little pissed as well. Dad had probably had a couple of drool. We'd owned our house for one week. Not a good start to this text. And I never lived in a house with an internal garage, drove straight through the garage into the wall and ended up with my car bonner in the dining room. Oh.

Cheap boys. That's like that episode of the beer, the Christmas one, where the mum loses it at the end and drives it the car through the side of the house. You've always got to have enough crap in the garage as soon as you hit it, you see it move. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have some stacked shelves.

Yeah. Some people put a tennis ball to there, don't they? They are a foam noodle. One of those swimming pool noodles. So when you see it move or something move, you know that you stop. Hot glue a pool noodle to the wall.

Hot glue a pool noodle. Stop you. We'll just grow up and know when to stop. Yeah. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fleshhorn and Haley. All right, Shannon's got a hacky. Oh, guys, I've actually got, we're lucky.

So, we're lucky. I've actually got news because I play, every time we do a Shannon's hack, I play this off YouTube. Yes. This instrumental of the B-52's Love Shack. Yes. I've had a word because you know I'm on the Christensen family plan. Yes.

Oh my God, yes. YouTube have said, we're not in the same household. So my YouTube premium has been paused until I can prove that we're living under the same roof. People are locking down. People are locking down. Do you have to get into bed with Mr. and Mrs. Christensen's. I had to sleep between the Christensen's. Ricky and Sam, who I believe a brother is not even...

Oh, okay, right. And somebody else, there's four people on this family plan. Well, are they all in the same house? Well, I don't know, a Ricky and Sam in the same house. Don't I've got YouTube premium. I could just, I could just play it, take over. Sort of rendering useless. I was just going to say it's lucky there's no ad loaded up.

Wait, are you saying you've got ads now? Yeah. Oh, for God. I'm back to having ads. Despite the Christiansen saying, how do I might? Are you still in a personal recession or can you get... Dude, I'm deeper than ever. And it's more personal than ever. What's a recession's extreme depression?

Yeah. I'm depressed both financially and mentally. Okay, right. So. But this is royalty-free. You can still do it? Well, an ad hasn't loaded up, but I can't promise it at some stage. During one's not going to pop up. Oh, for crying out loud.

But for now. If you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says 15 miles to a shern attack. Get down. Shannon's Hack, baby. And producer Shannon, if you're new to the show, pitches us hacks, quite often terrible. We're really like, when she tells us unpredictable stories about history, we're really like that segment.

We're always, and she's like, I've got a hack. We're like, do you have any history? We always get those ones that's a rare, a lot more worth that put into them. Can I, I'm going to do a little hot tease here. There may be the appearance of a live Shannon's hack at our live FVH genuine friend store. Wow. Ticket to Vaguel Life Nation.

I mean, we're still trying to sell those remaining tickets, not put people off coming. I would say the bad hacks when you see them in the flesh. We'll be much of entertainment. Especially when you see the look drain from Shannon's faces, we give her two stars. And she says, can you take off your shoes? I want to duct tape some pads to your feet.

And you're like, okay. Producer Shannon, where are we heading in the realm of hacks today? We're talking hosting. Oh, I love to host. hosting a party. Wait, you've done a hosting hack before, eh? Oh, probably. You've done a hosting a dinner party hack before, and it was terrible.

It was, wasn't it? Oh, no, that was the one when you order a kebab and you get him to drive you home or something. Yeah. If you can't get an Uber home, just order delivery pizza and hop in. Go to the pizza and hop in. Uber eats and wait for him to turn up. One of my better ones. One of the better ones.

No, a hosting hack today. So, for someone like myself, I don't really have. furniture as such much furniture. No, or space for more than two humans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But often if you're hosting, your table is going to be used for food, but you might want a secondary table for things like beer pong perhaps, or just general, maybe a table for presents or such.

For snacks? Yeah, snacks. It's just quite helpful sometimes to have more tables than you normally own, but tables are expensive. They are expensive. Obviously, you could go to a hardware store and buy a trestle table, but that's money, and this is a money-saving hack. Oh, okay.

money saving hosting hack. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Don't tell me it's the bed. No. Oh my. If it's the bed, I'm going to flip the table, which might be the bed. You might not be stoked where this is going.

So what I want you to do is grab a screwdriver and just take your door off your tinge. Oh, shut out. I'm crying out loud. Walk with me. I want you to take your door off at Tinders because your door is free and it's temporary. This is a temporary situation. You could then get two. Two dining table.

Any screws out. You just pop the pin out of the door's hinge. I've never done this, but I just assumed it was a screwdriver situation. Oh, what? You've never done it? You've never taken a door off its hinges and used it as a table? But then you just get two chairs, two dining table chairs and just kind of set up. Oh, Christ a lot.

This is a three table. No, some of them are rounded at the top. Yeah, they won't hold the door. My door's a Cody Wood. This is sacrilege. You're going to get ring marks. You're going to get drink marks on the Cody. I know.

I'm a Cody door. No respect for the wood. It's wonky. I'm never getting that door back on. No. Now we're all showering with the door off. I just think it's quite... I went bathroom for some reason and I regret it.

Yeah. Even though your guests would need the toilet. Yeah, yeah. Even though there's like bedrooms and stuff. I'm imagining you do maybe like an internal kitchen door if you had like... Because when you're hosting it, you want the free flowing space. So there are spare doors you could use that aren't needed. This is one of the worst yet.

You're not getting your bond back with all the marks on the door. This is one of the worst yet, Shannon. you're taking your door off its hinges and putting it on dining chairs. As a free table. As a free table. And then you can put it back. So it's a temporary free table

because obviously as well if you buy a secondary table, you don't need it all the time, but you can put your door back on. Oh my God. I mean, that's a great storage solution. She's not wrong. It is a zero. How much is a trestle table from mine to ten?

No, one of those fold-down ones that turns into like a suitcase. And how much a load of the bed? Holding table, N-Z. You sign that out. $64 at train. tested. That's cheap compared to when you have to replace the door. There's a $40 one, a basic camping fold down table at the warehouse.

Yeah, okay, there we go. I think someone's some feedback. She's not wrong. Yeah. She's not good, but she's not wrong. Thank you. That's kind of sums it up. Oh, yes, the words she's saying are able to be done. Hey, if Jack and Rose can use the door as it, wait a minute, that didn't work either.

No, didn't work. Liliana. You're just reading all the negative ones. One person said I love this hack. Yeah, that's a positive one. That person doesn't own their house. Yes, yeah, yeah. They're renting and don't care about getting their bond back.

It's not worthy of any points, Shannon. It's a zero from me. Zero. But you said, functionally, it does work. Like, you have said that this is a concept that would work. I've acknowledged the ability to remove a door from its hinges. Yes. That is a thing that can happen.

I'd run some other feedback here. Someone said my parents used to do this back in the 70s when they had fondue parties. They'd lay them on the floor. And people would sit around the door. Why is the door? Just do it on the floor. If you're going to do a door on the floor,

just do the shit. It would have been shag pile carpet in the 70s. Yeah. Someone said this hack is unhinged, and I think that sums it up quite nicely. I've done this. I used it to extend my dining table. The problem with the grooves.

Oh, yeah. Oh, if you've got panels on the doors. Yeah. If you've got panels, that's off her hinges. I'll chuck it a one because someone said this is perfect for a Danedan flat. Yeah, yeah. I have lived in Danedan before.

Did anybody do this in Danedan? No, but we... No, she's never seen it in the flesh. Not seen it in the flesh, but we did have big holes in our wall, so I think this could have been a nice way. You should have taken the door off its hinges and patched the wall with the door. I'll give it one star. Yay, I'll take one.

Is it out of pity? Yeah, it's one star and I'll say today it's out of ten. Whoa. Yeah, because we can't do half stars. No one's accepting zero. No. All right. Okay.

All right. If you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says one star max for Shreddhant his head. Yay. One star baby. The Fletchborn and Haley, big pod. Now, you may remember Georgia Sea work came out as, uh, man, big gay coming out. She called her music gay pop.

And everyone was like, uh, George, Jamaica. Where did Jojo see what... Was Jojo Siwa dance? Dance moms? Dance moms. Yeah, she was dance moms. Then she was like this iconic little, this little tween with the Jojo Bose. I am Jojo Siwa.

All the confidence in the world. And pure coincidence that we were about to talk about Jojo Siwa and my memories that I on my phone, it's like, oh shit, it was like 2017. So nine years ago that my daughter's interviewed her. Did they? As a... Jojo, was it cool writing a book about your dog? Yes, it was so cool. I mean, Bobo, she's my favorite little bunch of kid ever, and I love her.

So getting to write a book about her, Joja loves Bobo, a day in the world's cutest canine, was the best time ever. Jojo, do you want any more pets? I actually have other pets. I have two of the dogs. Oh, my girl sounds so young. And I was going to break in my heart. Really doing that thing where time starts.

And they're like, half off, dad. Yeah, now they're like, bro, where's dinner? Yeah, yeah, bro, where's dinner? Bro, that's yuck. I need to know if I'm going to have a smoke before or after. So Jojo Siwa, you know, and then she would have had to the kiss makeup. And she had to the kiss makeup and we're just like, I'm doing gay pop. I'm Jojo Siwa.

And then she did Dancing with the Stars, which feels crazy because she's literally a known professional dancer. And on that show, she met Chris, no, on Big Brother, sorry, she met a British guy, Chris Hughes. So I don't know what he does. He's British. Yeah. Sorry, producer Shannon, what does he do? He is a... He was on Love Island.

Oh, sorry, I even asked. So he was on Love Island. They had a little flirt in the Big Brother House, and then they came out, and then she was like, we're together. He's British. I'm Joe Zhewer. I think she's just on the spectrum. Just does whatever.

Yeah, fair enough. On the queer spectrum. Yeah. So she was doing a podcast interview because a few people have been noticing that every now and then she has an odd accent. So I'm from Nebraska originally, but I have a

quang of an English accent. And it's because of my boyfriend and his family and his friends. I'm just always who they talk to often, right? And so he doesn't hear it. His family doesn't hear it. But Americans are like, where's your accent? And I'm like, it's Nebraska. And they're like, that's not it. How long have you been dating?

We've been together. This month will be a year and five months. Oh, nice. Okay. I hate that. Also, you can't really hear it in there, but every now and then, like, on her things, she'll slip into like, glorious or something. But she's claiming that, like, she's got this sort of like muddled accent from a year and a year and five months. She is every Kiwi that has moved to the UK on their... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or kind of anywhere. I was hanging out with a friend Melbourne, and he's been there for like 20 years, ages. Yeah. And, uh, no, 15 years maybe. And we were at the pub and he was talking about this and yeah, and then he had to go and like watch his duna. And I was like, rude. I hate that. He was like, shut up.

Poor the goddamn duvet. But I get that. Like, even just if you go to Australia for a few days, you start going, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I understand. I just mimic them.

I just mimic them. It's fun. I don't think you can tell us that I went to Paris this year very much, you know. Oh, God, I'm doing it again until it really rubs off. You know, and sometimes, I know when I go home, like it changes and I'll come back. Oh, too, Jane is speak. Oh, God. I'm constantly thought in the urge to just speak to my bra.

Laker. You know, let's get into it. Let's get into it over the brie. Oh, no. Lening hard. Horde. My gosh, sorry I'm so late. I couldn't find the poor.

But yeah, a year and a half, Jojo, see, well, bless you. The Fletchborn and Haley, big pod. Leah Shitkeva from Birmingham. She's 36 years old, that's my age. Are these women that are competitive eaters are always so tiny. So this chick is jacked, man. she's a lifter like she Bras. She turns that food into bra.

She's got 394,000 online on Instagram. Who's our Kiwi girl? Nela Slaga. Yeah, that's Nansai. And she... She's incredible. I know.

Very slim. Yeah. I'm so sorry to her because I have forgotten her name. Oh, wow. That's the competitive eater we're talking about. She has a six pack of abs. Yeah, she's... Looks like a bodybuilder.

Yeah. And a booty and the quads. She looks like she'd have to be really like focused on nutrition she wanted. Well, the exact nutrition she focused on in this day was a burrito because she used to have the world record for fastest burrito. She set that in 2019, lost it in 2022 to an American. Okay.

And the American beat her with a record time of eating the burrito in 31.4.7. seconds. Good dog. To me though, that's a burrito every time is going to be different. There'd have to be some consistent measuring of the burrito.

Like a 500 grams of filling. Totally. Because I was like, you get a burrito from this Mexican place and you get one from that Mexican place. Some of them are like plate locks. And then like avocado or beans would slip down easier than a meat piece. Yeah.

So it would have to be exactly the same every time. Vegetarian would be cheating. Yeah, yeah. So she also Oh no This is the other woman who set all these other world records 42 world records before this eating records Yeah

So oh no this is this chick Yeah Leah so she owns She has 42 world records Including fastest domino pizza in under a minute And fastest Terry's chock orange For a full domino's peeps And a chalk orange But dominoes is not that thick

You could follow it's thick Fold and log it in Yeah it's so much bread and crust. Yeah. So the Terry's chocolate orange. Terry's chocolate oranges solid.

So sweet. Like, they're solid chocolate. Yeah. They're solid with the, with the orangey, gooey, inside. But they are unbelievably sweet like one segment

and I'm like, so she says she was an overweight kid. Yeah. And got into nutrition and fitness as an adult. Boy, did she get into it. If you want to look her up. Leah should kever.

And then she said, now she trains six times a week, calls herself a gym addict. So to balance out the eating challenges, she's like, dude, I can eat calories because I work out so much. So 30.75 seconds is the new Guinness World Record that was granted to her.

For eating a burrito? For eating a burrito that fast. That's fast. Remember, I think in my first year here at work, someone ate the nuggets. And I was like, it doesn't seem that fast. The moment I ate the first nugget, I was like, I'm screwed.

I coulda, it's so much, it takes so much more time than you think. Yes. Because I think about a breeder, I'm like, half a minute. And are they allowed in water? Chump, chump, chump, swallow. Yeah, usually in competitive eating. They can water it down. So this woman also has the world record for eating the most chicken nuggets in one minute.

Oh, does she? She does, yeah. It's so hard. She has 19 McDonald's chicken McNuggets in 60 seconds. 19. We talked about this the first year. I worked here. And I was like, bring it on.

We ordered a nugget. And I couldn't get any other. She beat the New Zealand girl. Oh, really? Nila. Nila. Nila. That's it. Zisa.

Nila, Zsa. Nila, the New Zealand, they had that in 2020. And yeah, they do all by grams. So it was 290 grams. Yeah. It was the New Zealand record. And then she did it 315 grams. And maybe the same amount, maybe the same amount of nuggets.

Crazy. Do you know, Nela, Nela Zisa, our Kiwi competitive eater, is a doctor by day, and she's training in psychiatry as well, and she jimps bra. And just... Imagine if you arrived to your psychiatrist, did you say psychiatry? Psychiatry, yeah. Psychiatry, she arrived to a psychiatry appointment,

slightly, you knock on the door at a minute, and she's just like halfway through, just like deep throating a whole band. I know with the camera on a tripod, you're like... And she's like, I'll be with you in a minute. Sorry, just starting to get us to recover. called here. I've just got some like dad's stuff

I want to talk to you about. The Z&M Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch Fawnon and Haley. My daughter, name and shame, Indy, she got a first detention. Norty. She's got a first detention. How old, she's 14?

14, yeah. She's never had a detention. She had a detention because she had the flu, like proper, the A or B. Which one is tearing. It's going around. Which one is literally tearing through this country's health systems. I don't know, but it's apparently still hasn't peaked. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Share that, so she missed the week of school. Oh, yeah. Now, on that week, she was due to hand an assignment, and she didn't. And she could have handed it online. And then she went back to school, still hadn't done it. Got her first attention. Oh, I thought she was going to, like, you were going to say she'd trying to burn the school down or something.

Yeah, yeah. I think that's a little bit more. I feel like that's a little bit more than an attention. I feel like you were to, if you're trying to set the school ablaze or fighting or anything like that, she's a stand down these days. Or egg the teacher's car. Yeah. I think a little bit more than a detention. Mine was just like be rude.

I was just like distracting and rude. Yeah, mine was not... Yeah, not stopping talking was basically, though. One more time and you're out. Being the class clown. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The teacher said, Vaughn, stop talking. I said, can you just hold on a minute?

I'm almost done. She was just like, and her bye. Back of the day, they'd write your name on the board and that was your warning. And then the X was 15 minute, 30 minute, and then like whole lunch time or something. Yeah. It's your time, not mine.

I remember doing a couple of detentions. can't remember what for, probably talking in class of being a smart ass. We made it jobs though, so. Did you have to do lines? Yeah, oh, we did a little bit of lines. It was different. Yeah, different now.

I think she was in there. She had to do the assignment that she hadn't done. On her time. On her time. On her time. Right. But she said they had their computers

in the internet, so she just played Roblox. Now I don't want to... Wow. I said to what shit. I said to her again, so this is the other crazy thing. Her friend who would never had a detention has wondered what detentions are like,

and he's like, come with me. So they get there and her name's not on the detention list and the teacher's just like just going. No, because that's the idea as you're alone or with other naughty kids. Yeah, you don't get to spend time with your friend. So her friend and her sit next to each other and start talking and then they get separated. So her friend who didn't get a detention, does this detention by herself

full detention experience without having done anything to get your detention. You were never allowed to talk in the detention. God no. Otherwise you get another one. Yeah. And then it would turn into a we had detention and then you had Friday detention. So you had your lunchtime detention. where I'll take your lunch break.

And then if you were real shit, Friday afterwards, just stay. Do any schools do a week? Because remember there was a school and this is going back sometime, but they're like, we're bringing in weekend detentions to really. And all the parents are like, why am I being punished? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to take this little shit to school to sit there for an hour. What am I going to do?

Yeah. Do you remember being on report? Did you guys have that? No. Yes, I never ended up on report. I'll go have a meeting with the dean. Kind of like home detention or probation. No, no, you get put on report.

and at the end of every single class you have to give it to the teacher and they have to fill in how you were and it's then you have to be good and then you get off report. You got off report when you did like a solid week of good behaviour right? You'd be like oh Mrs. So and so I'm on report

and she'd be like well then why did you talk the whole class? Can you write something else? Some of the dudes that I went to school with that were on report like forever. Yeah. Police officers now. Really? Yeah. Okay. Well we want to know this morning 0800 dials at M. 966.

The silliest reason you got a detention, the craziest thing you did, the naughtiest thing you did. Anonymous has already called in, starting the ball rolling. What did you do? Good morning. First time talker, long time caller. Yes. Oh, okay.

Close enough. Okay. Close enough, long time, listen, first time caller. Yes. I love it. Anonymous, what did you do? Well, I had a couple sports injuries at skill. No good, no good.

And then I ended up getting crutches for one of these injuries, right? Yeah. And turns out you can modify crutches. to make a blow dart. We won't go into a description. Wait, what? I thought you were going to say a bong. I thought you were going to say

you could modify crutches to be a bong, and I wasn't imagining how to do that, but a blow dart. I am from Hamilton, that it wouldn't put a part. Yeah, dude. Okay. So who did you, anonymous,

who did you blow dart? Well, all our mates are in firing range. Okay, yeah. Right. So what were you using as a projector? Were you sharpening pencils or something? Well, you could cut a corner off a piece of, paper and roll it up into a nice

cone-shaped dart and if you wanted to you can check a tack in the front of it. So you're there, oh, okay. So you've got your long set of crotches, crutches, different. Croaches, yeah. Which can also be made into a blowout. Long crutches and you just go

down the end? Yeah, well, you can take the foot off the crutch and you can pull the whole thing apart really. Yeah, yeah, you're right. What do you do for a job now? Oh, well, I've got the best job in the world. I am a disability support worker. Oh, so you actually stayed with the crutches. Yeah.

You were a rascal at school, but look at you now, salt of the earth doing God's work out there working with people with disabilities. Good on you. But do you tell your people if they are on crutches? That's a blowout out in the making. Yeah, let me show you a thing or two. Well, since high school, this is probably the first time

it's come up in conversation in a long time. Yeah, nice. Okay, well, yeah, have a lovely day. Let's start the calls now and the text. 9-6-96 to text in. Funny stories coming through. So good. I got a detention for speaking in third person for an entire maths class.

Haley needs to go to the bathroom. Haley's going to need a little help with a sin-tan clothes. Haley doesn't understand why you've introduced letters into maths. Yeah. Haley needs to know what A-E calls. Amy, why did you get a detention? I got a detention for talking to a boy. Oh, okay.

So I went to a Catholic girl's school and I happened to be giving my brother a bus ticket after school so he could get home. He went to the school opposite us. We got hauled out in front of the whole assembly and told and given detentions because we were seen fresh enising with males in school uniform and that was not allowed.

Wait, that was your brother. What? My brother. You're not allowed to talk to boys. I argued it with the sister and I said, look, it was my brother. I was giving him a bus ticket. She said, no, you know the rules.

Your friends were also seen freshenising with males. At the same time, you all got detentions. And if you need to see your brother do it further down the road, so you're not in line of school time. And they wonder why Catholic schoolgirl pregnancy rates are so high. Yeah. That's insane behaviour. That's crazy.

Amy, thank you. McKenzie, why did you get a detention? I was laughing too hard at a kid. just putting a pencil up his ass trying to make itself far. So, wait, what? I'm sorry. What? A pencil? Wait, where was this happening?

In class? Yeah, in science. And the kids kept trying to put a pencil down his ass to make himself far, and I laughed too hard. So I got moved. And then I couldn't stop laughing because I was still thinking about it, and I got attention for it.

I mean, I don't want to know the answer, but I also do want to know the answer. Did he end up making himself fun? I don't think so. I don't know his logic behind why he was trying to do it, because I don't think that's logically possible, but no, he didn't. I'm never going to be able to look at a pencil the same again. I know, especially chew the end of a pencil.

Oh, yeah. McKenzie, did he get a detention for putting a pencil in his ass? Yeah, he did as well. Oh, good. There was about four of us in total that ended up getting the detention. Because we were all laughing too much. Yeah. The laughing is a common theme throughout the messages we were.

And where is the pencil kid now? Yeah, dude, he's in prison. Is he working in stationary? Look, we're from down south. I think he's a borgon who like drive shitty cars now, so. Yeah, right. Okay. That or the local MP.

These pencil up the bum guys always end up visiting your local MP. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm McKenzie, thank you, some messages in. Another person who got in trouble for laughing, I was sitting next to a girl who called, said to the teacher, shut up fanny lips. and I just lost my mind and I couldn't stop. I even heard that insult forever.

Fanny lips. I don't think I've ever heard fanny lips. Have you never? No. As an insult. It's an insult. Yeah. Maybe because you know when you were a kid,

you can really like work out someone's surname and how to turn it into sort of a slur of sorts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can really work on. Yeah, so it might have been like Mrs. Cranny bits. Yeah, yeah, cranderbrit. So they're like, oh, yeah.

Shut up, fanny lips. We fed out our maths teacher was allergic to aerosol spray, so we'd spray heaps on just before the class. And, like, she wouldn't be able to teach. She'd have to leave the room so anybody that wore it in would get detentions. Oh, that's so me. Allergic. That's the kind of thing you look back now, and you're like,

I can't believe we did that. Yeah, you're like, oh my God. We had an annoying French teacher, so one day my friend and I cut the head off his frog doorstopper and left it on his desk. That's some, is it the godfather? The mafia that wake up with the race. Cut the head off.

Who's got a frog doorstopper? The French teacher. We got a big trouble. We got detention for not doing swimming sports in third form because I got my period for the first time. My mum was away and I didn't tell anybody so I didn't have an excuse note. My teacher gave me detentions and I cried

and I had my first period and my first detention on the same day. Yeah, it's hard. My daughter got her first detention when she was a new entrant. A bunch of girls went rogue and did graffiti on the playground with crayons. They all wrote their names so that's how they got caught.

Oh, and they got a detention. Got kicked out of classical. of my food tech teacher, Fantapants. Fanta pants. I'm like a bless. Alicia said this is a lame one. I got my detention,

my first ever detention for not tucking my shirt in. I had to sit in all in my lines. Literally I just got off the bus and it had worked its way out on the bus. Was your school rich excuse? Was your private school

really strict on uniform? So strict. You couldn't wear your cardigan on the street. It had to be blazer or dress. Oh yeah. And then, yeah, because I tried to gotthify my uniform with like purple hair and nose ring and I used to get

like socks and cut the finger holes and have like got got things and stuff. Yeah, I always got detention for that. My son got his attention for scuffing his feet along the floor as he walked in the hallway. He got his attention and the notes he'd lift your feet while walking.

That's too old school. What are you in the military? Yeah. I got a three-day detention at primary school for biting my teacher, broke the skin, she needed stitches. Oh my God, that should be suspended. Biting so hard. You know they're into rough stuff now, though.

And that bite her has... Slapping a bite. Definitely got an ADHD diagnosis. By now, haven't they? And if not. Definitely get some pills in you. Get a couple of pills in you, mate. Concentrate that focus.

I got a detention at age 12. The reason written on the slip was distributing pornography, but I just found a nudie magazine on the way to school, and I was showing people. My born-again Christian parents were less than impressed. Oh, not happy. But you know what? They're born-again, and you know when someone says they're a born-again Christian,

they did a terrible shit. They did some shit. You only do it because of the abhorrent behavior. They did something so bad. Their only option was Jesus. To beg Jesus for forgiveness. They were like, okay, we've gone too far. Yeah.

Oh, I lit... I had deodorant and a lighter and I lit a flame through and I turned and just burnt the eyebrows off another kid, so I got his attention for that. They'll do it. A teacher wasn't listening to me, so I threw a pen out of his head. Detention. Was he allergic?

We barely scratched the surface of the text messages. Oh, my God. So many... We got naughty listeners. Amazing messages. I got a detention because they found out it was me that was doing the prison tattoos and the girls' bathrooms at our Catholic school.

With a compass? Yeah, prison tattoos would have been with a compass and a broken pen, eh? Amazing. I love this. I'm not skinny. Someone's head. Lunch time we decided to wag a class.

We had to jump over the fence. Everyone cleared the fence. I got wedged on top of the fence and stuff. I got detention for a week. We got detention for synchronized sniffing in that's class. used to do synchronise humming. What is, what is that? When you be like, everyone go,

all together, but we used to go. So it was an unspoken rule. And they wouldn't know who was doing it. And you'd have to do it so, I mean, we're amplifying on mics, but you'd do it so quietly that you'd try to make it seem like it was the aircon. And then Torsi used to do it.

And if I needed to take a break, then she'd move him. And I'd go, you're kidding me. Like the whole class. Honestly, shout out to all the teachers that put up with this. Holy moly.

You know, you're a teacher. I reckon, you're all due for another strike. I reckon, go, okay, chuck a few strikes out and be like, you know, and then send the MPs this podcast. I'm like, this is just barely the scratching the surface. Play ZM's FlashForn and Haley. Right now it's time for... Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day.

Do do do do do do do do do do do. down. It's hormone week here at Factor the day. Of course, fact of the day is what I had forgotten, but I quickly remembered. It was smooth. You would have gotten away with it. It's brought to you by Sam. Fiat!

Today's sushi today is eight pieces of California roll. Damn. $8.40. Dane. Testosterone is the hormone we're talking about today. There's research out that says trading flaws. This is like your financial trading, think Wall Street.

Oh, they're finance brokers. The finance bros. Yeah. is that testosterone spikes and traders correlate with bigger, riskier financial bets. It's called the Wolf of Wall Street effect. Morning is when the testosterone is higher. Yeah.

You have a testosterone surge. And that's when it lines up with more overconfident trading decisions. They make riskier, more high stakes bets, bets, he says. And it also lines up with things that, like, when there's sports in the morning. Oh, okay. People make riskier decisions. Like, for example, if you're a race car driver,

you're likely to make a riskier decision if you're doing it in the morning then you would later in the afternoon when testosterone plateaus. Okay. So testosterone also winning boosts testosterone. So athletes after a win, their testosterone boosts.

If you lose, it lowers slightly. Oh. Yeah. And women, of course, have testosterone as well, smaller amounts than men. Yeah. Some more than others. If women have higher testosterone, have higher libido and more muscle time. Yeah. Oh, okay. I've got the quads of a god. But also a bit of a beard and acne and my hair falls out.

I get all those good testosterone payoffs as well. Good and the bad. They're good in the bad. Also, you can kiss me because I want it, but you will feel a bristle. When you go through puberty and testosterone levels go up, it thickens the vocal cords, thus your voice drops. It also affects your jaw and brow growth, which is why male's faces change so much during puberty. Their jaw will get more, if they've got high testosterone, they'll get a stronger jaw and a

more prominent brow. Bad news is when you hit 30, testosterone decreases at around 1% a year. Right. Yeah. So, also other things that lower it, apparently fatherhood when a man becomes a father, there's a drop in testosterone after the baby

is born because it takes away the aggressive, like male partner procurement of must be strong, must be all this, and you've got the baby, so it kind of switches you more towards a nurturing, you're giving behaviour. And it's the same when you get married, you switch out of the gear of like, must find partner to must.

Some men don't. Some don't. In fact, those last two ones, I think that's optional. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't slow men down if their father's war or newly married. So today's fact of the day, for hormone weak is testosterone and the fact that when your testosterone is higher,

you're likely to make riskier decisions. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day. Do do-do-do-do-to-do-dip-d-dood-dood-dood-to-dood-dood-dood-dood-do. The Z-M Podcast Network. Play Z-Ns, Flesh, Forn, and Hayleaf. Now, there was talk that when we broadcast from the CRL, Hapa station on Monday that we may be in line for a Guinness World Record of the World's Deppers Radio Show. Yes, because we will be, it's, for those that don't know,

it is the, it will be the deepest station in New Zealand. And it's got the biggest escalators, because did you see the plaque? Yeah, they were all. That Shannon sent in the group chat yesterday, because the girls went and did a little test. Yes. So good. It's ginormous these escalators. What is this, the bloody London tube?

It's so cold. It's like when you go, and like we've had a quick look because we went on a testing train and got off momentarily at some of these stations. They're incredible. But yeah, they're very, very long escalators. I'm very excited for the Karanga Hape

Station one in particular. Because that's been the one they've been working on the most publicly. You've been able to see it for the longest. It's so beautiful. 43 metres, the escalators, reaching a depth of 33 metres below ground. That's the same height as a 10

story building, or like stacking six giraffes on the top of each other. Yeah, man, that's so deep. Well, this is why we thought we'd be in line for a Guinness World Record, because we're going to be broadcasting the radio show deep underground. The world's deepest live radio broadcast, and we're very excited about this. I've never

had a Guinness World Record. It's a classic radio thing that I just haven't been part of before. So we locked it in, and we announced it. Well, this is why we don't try. Because when you try, you fail. You fail. And if you didn't try, then technically he couldn't fail. You're not a failure.

Long been a motto of the show, hasn't it? Yeah, it really has been. Because in 2005, on the 24th of May, Dan Lassad of Canada, hosted a two-hour show consisting of recorded material as well as live music and interviews from a refuge station as part of the Creighton Mine in Canada.

At 2000... The moment you said the word mine, I was like, why didn't we think of minds? They're so much deeper. At 2000... 3,340 metres below the surface of the earth. 2.3 kilometres. Straight down.

Now, I've done the maths. Yep. That's 71 times deeper than we'll be. So it's us. How deep we are below the surface? 71 times. Oh, my God. Okay.

Is this why Guinness have been ignoring our... A request? Not even worth replying in their mind, I'd say. But technically, we still will be New Zealand's deepest radio show. Will we? So I've heard word that on Sunday there are a couple of radio people popping down. But you know what?

It's not even about the accolades. They're not doing a show though, are they? They're just going along. Not even about the accolades. We're actually doing it for the entertainment. We're doing it for the listener. So we're going to be like right on the platform that we trains every couple of minutes either side of us.

It's going to be nuts. The show's going to be, I think we're going to have a few deep themed things in there. Tell us the deepest, dark a secret. Yes. How deep was the cut, you know, the wound. Yep. Let's get deep. Kitchen injuries.

Just say something deep. Like, what's your biggest fear? Like, what are you afraid of right now? Love this. Is it aging? Also, if you are commuting on Monday, we've got some JBL noise cancelling headphones to give away. So if you listen to the show on IHard and you are commuting and getting off at the K-road station,

come find us because we've got some prizes as well. Well, you come say hi just in general. Yeah. So very exciting. It's going to be so deep. Is it so deep we can get coffee down there? Yep, yeah, absolutely. Well, I'm going to have a deep, deep roast.

Deep dark roast coffee on the bay. Good, yes, good. Everything's going to be deep. Okay. I'm ever going to put on a voice? A deep voice. You may be. Well, we will do a deep break.

Still be New Zealand's deepest radio show. It's just Guinness will not be. They don't want any part of it. No. The Z&M Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Haley. So you'll remember, you might, if you're listening to the show, Yesterday, remember my story about how badly I needed a fridge sig.

Now, that's a Coke zero. And I'll have a Dublin fridge sig, which is where you put Jameson's in it. Delicious. What a treat. What a little treat at the end of the day. Otherwise, not caught a whiskey and Coke. Yeah. But if you want to sort of make it more elegant and more of a treat.

The Dublin fridge sink. Yeah. So it sounds like a cocktail now. I'm charging $18 for it. And I'm paying. Yeah. You're paying top dollar for it. So that meant I actually didn't stay at my house.

I stayed at my girlfriend's place. And so we're... No, what, news to me. God. So we're not... You're not married? No. Well, no, no, that's all...

Not really. So yesterday I got home to mine, and I walked in pretty carefree, actually. Nice. The bag didn't get snagged on anything. Nice. We had a fun show yesterday. A fun show, a bit of a hangout. Yeah.

And I walked into my room and I was like, well, that's cat piss. Oh, far out. Oh, no. So, I don't. And we talked about this recently that I don't let the cat in overnight. The cat can get into the laundry and sleep on the towel in the laundry or there's a bed outside and it can sleep outside, but it's not sleeping inside. It's too meowing. It's far too meowing and my sleep's too precious.

So I had put the cat out in my leaving the house. I'd put him in the laundry and I'd shut the door. And then I'd taken one thing to the car and I'd left the front door open. I came back and got the rest of my stuff and put that in the car. Oh, you're an idiot. He snuck out of the man. Now the cat and I can only deduce in that. moment when I went to the car and back snuck in. Yeah.

But now you'll remember I shut the laundry door, which is the only cat door into the house. So he's effectively in a prison of his own design. Yeah. Yep. Which is to be fair, you know, not as false. Now last time this happened, the cat was locked in for the weekend. The neighbours went and let him out when I kind of like clocked onto the fact I hadn't seen him on any of the security camera.

So I was like, that's weird. He's either been run over or he's locked inside. Yeah. Logged into, you know, you can do that drop in on Alexis. Yeah. And hear what's happening? You can just ask my, I've got a robot vacuum cleaner, you can just say find a pet. And I've got the robot pet cam.

Yeah. So I just go out and go, rolly. I just drop in on communication on an election and I go, um, Cheeto, whiz, whiz, and I had, and I was like, okay, so I messaged the neighbors and they went over and opened the door and let him out. Oh, bu, but, in that time, he had quite considerably, considerably, considerably, considerably, considerably. No, considerably. Unconsiderably. He'd done poos and wheeze on the bath mat.

Oh, that's lovely. It's nice. Now that's good. That's really good. Guess where the poos and wheeze was yesterday after he'd been inside for a fraction of the time. I'd hope a tile or a sort of... Yeah, the tiled floor.

Right on my bed where my head goes. Not on the pillow. Not on the pillow. Oh, yeah. But in between the two pillows... Right in the middle. Of all the places to poos and wheeze. Yeah.

Why the poos and the wheeze, why are where my head goes? Well, this was about the time I get the message. yo, are you home? Can I come and borrow your Biss? And I said, no, I'm not home. I don't, I don't, I'm not going to be home for ages if we can wait. Well, then I did some research on how to get this fragrance, shall we say.

But can we just pause? Because I also said in this chat, he wouldn't have done it if he knew that that was also his bed. Because we talked to the day before that if he, you'd let him sleep with you and have cuddles like we do with our cats. Yeah. He would not desecrate his bed. He doesn't respect you. respect you. He's like, that's what he did.

Well, now I don't respect him. He pissed on your bed and he walked away and said, how, okay, you've got to get a new mattress. You can't get cat piss out of a mattress. Yeah, no, you do. So I'm like, it's got to be baking soda, right? So I'm like, does baking soda get the spin? And the, this Google AI is just like,

no. Shame losing. I'm like, come on, man, you're always saying baking soda and vinegar can fix everything. Get stains out, get everything. And it's just like, no, man, it's not. It's no good. You need, like, specific stuff.

Yeah. Now, I'd wash the sheets. they come out of they're on the line trying that's coming out of riot but the mattress I've dragged outside I'm like the smell's not going away get the girls get all sorted like pretty busy afternoon

and I'm like I cannot sleep in this bed so I go down to the local the closest place they're like funnily enough we're fresh out I go to the supermarket there's all the stuff but I'm like taking photos of it and asking AI is this legit no no no that's just a deodorizer that's not going to do the job

because for breeze that doesn't work on cat piss It does a bit of deodorising, but not. But as soon as this rebrand, it disappears, because the cat piss has got the crystals in it. Right. The capus is bridled with crystals. Now, the crystals are the thing that slowly as they dissolve into the air, they're the stink.

Oh, okay, right. So there's this specific stuff that reacts with it, burns it all off quickly. Right. And so I'm just like, does animates have this? Now, I... Show sponsor. Yeah. I'm like, surely animates...

Dig that bow. Show sponsor. There we go. Lovely. Thank you. Surely Animates isn't still open. It's half five. They were open.

Did you go to risk? Yeah. So I had to battle traffic. So I had to get in traffic. I'm furious, by the way. I'm just like losing. You guys heard the voice note. I'm about to blame!

And he'd done that thing where it got in the car. Oh my God. I recorded this voice note of everything had gone wrong. The full breakdown of the day. And when the phone connects to the Bluetooth in the car, it disconnects. It stops the voice recording. So I'm like almost. But the first place I try it, ranting, ranting,

which does always make me feel a bit better. And then I look down to send it, guess what? It's not even been recording. Ranting to yourself. Eight seconds, it said voice note eight seconds long. I was like, I'm going to drive my car into a creek. Yeah, take me. Take me, Jesus.

Then I remember it, it's not really my car, so I can't do that. Yeah. So then I arrive at animates. Show sponsor. And a lovely young gentleman. I was going to go look for it in the store and I just, because I'll do that. Yeah, I'll just find what I want. I don't want to bother them.

Yeah, and I kind of like the process. I walked in and I looked at the store and I was just like, I just turned straight to the guy I was like cat piss and he said a big you pardon I said cat piss Bed I didn't even say anything

Bed cat piss And he's like follow me And he took me down and he took me straight to the thing To the cat piss section And I was like does it come in a smaller bottle He's like You're gonna need all of that My brother

Oh Because you gotta soak it He's like as deep as the piss went This stuff has to get deep What's it on I was like Oh Mattress

He's like a big, and I was like, my mattress. Yeah. He's like, yeah, man, you take that, you take that. It feels like you are going to need to buy a new mattress. What about, so the bedding? Was that also? No, the bedding was all right.

I don't know why there's no smell on that. I put that through the wash and that's okay. You might have got it soon enough. But man, like, I haven't seen the cat since. He knows. Because the girls were home when I went to get the stuff to spray it, and they sent me the thing and they're like, he's sorry.

Look at him, and the cat's just like, not sorry at all. Yeah, yeah. But then when I get home, he'd gone. Yeah. I feel I'm a bit of a standoff with him. Were you girls like, you know, that thing when my dad would be human after a big, bad day was to sort of like, it's just sort of like, it's just... Give us a space. Yeah, yeah.

I did say to them later, I'm like, sorry about that. You know, I wasn't angry at you. I'm angry at you. I'm angry at this world. I'm angry at life. Oh, God, mate. I'm so sorry to hear it. But guess what?

What? What? What? Delicious Dublin fridge said. Yeah, God. And you earned it. Delicious little Dublin fridge thing. The ZM Podcast Network

Play ZM's Flash forne and Haley. This was an interesting psychological article in a psychology journal that you know I read on my spare time because I am. I like to be learned. I like to stay learned.

The gist of it was that it looked into the psychology of what it means to display your kids' artwork, medals, drawings, that kind of stuff on the fridge. It's not just somewhere a product. You did this, eh, when your kids would come home from Kendi and have a... I love it.

I've kept it all. I've got an idea for you. I've been seeing this so much on my... Because, you know, I've been getting into my crafting. Yep, Pinterest. Jeepers. Oh God, that's taken to back seat. But people getting, like, big canvases and cutting out the best of the artwork and kind of modgedging it on and covering it and putting it on the wall, and it looks so cool,

like on an eclectic style. I'm going to send you some examples. I can. Please do. Please do. Burn it. Because when I see some of these paintings on parents' fridges, I'm like, why bother? No, but you get kind of abstract bits and you can do things. Anyway, I'll send you some.

So it taps into a deeper need for validation and everything for the kids, and it says so much more to the kid. Like, I'm capable, I'm valued, how you see me. And we know as kids, like, how much that meant when your parents were. I'm so proud of you. Look at that. Oh, look at Haley's medal or something like that. I never got it.

I know what you're doing about. Oh. Well, I wanted to know, like, when did your parents not make a big deal out of something, like, really big that you achieved? They just didn't care about your big achievement. I feel like this is just boomer parents, like thumbs up. My mom is so bad. As a kid, I was never deprived, depraved.

Deprived. You were deprived as an adult, deprived as a child. I was never deprived of praise and attention and well-done. But as an adult, my parents are slack at it. I'll do an hour show and, you know, raptress applause, I get great things from strangers. And then mum will be like,

how's the show? She'll go, boom, thumbs up. And I'm like, or she'll see something and say nothing, like, what time you're home? And you're like, how was it? I won an award, mommy. How was my show?

Mommy, tell me a special little girl. I know. Anyway, this is one I want to know because, yeah, parents, they get bad at it. Well, to get the ball roll. we asked us on Instagram, some of the responses. Rachel said, I won a trophy at the British Olympic trials. Oh, my goodness.

Okay, that's big deal. My mom uses it as a fruit ball. Oh, my God. I got 98% in a maths exam, and my dad asked me where the other 2% was. That is so weird. I have had therapy. Yes. Oh, yes.

I graduated with honors in an Instagram. My dad told me it didn't count because it's an artstagram. Wow. I mean, you've just like slaving for years. I had the first grandchild and dad said, oh, yeah, he's all right. Oh, gosh. When I, myself and my partner brought our first home at 21 years old, my mom was actually bitter about it. Oh, interesting.

Jealous, mom's jealous that you kind of got a foot in there. Yeah, interesting. When parents do, that's odd when parents do that, are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, 0800 dials at em is our number. We want you to call us now. You can text through as well, 9-6-96. When did your parents not care about your big achievement?

Sometimes we don't really get it. Yeah. But also as kids. There are some rough ones. As a parent, like, I can't imagine not telling you kids, you're proud of them. Yeah. Yeah, but some kids are shit, yours aren't. Different generation.

And also different generations, right? For sure. Yeah. Like, it's just, I don't know, compliments back in the day. It just wasn't done. Yeah. Really, was it? Emily, Emily, Tammy Merch, who's our Tampon merchandiser that calls the show. You'll be finished for the day?

No, I'm preschool teaching today. Oh, that's right, double jobs. So Tammy Merch on Thursdays and Tuesdays, that's preschool days. Of course, Monday, Wednesday. Friday's the Timmerge Day. Of course. Now, Tammy Merch, when were your parents not excited or happy about a big achievement in your life? So beyond being a preschool teacher and a Tammy merchandiser, I have a good handful of other qualifications.

So I studied beauty therapy. They came to that graduation. Right. I then studied personal training. They did not come to that. Okay. They didn't want to come to my floristry. And the reason for that was because they said, oh, we've been to one, we don't need to go to any other.

I'll give them that. They're a bit same same, same. They're a bit same same. And to be honest, like, make up your bloody mind, Tammy Merchamiser, and settle on a career. Yeah. And they've both got two qualifications, and they've been to all four of those graduations. Wow. What are they graduated in, though?

If one of them's a doctor, you're going to be like that. My oldest sister's graphic design and a primary school teaching. Right. My youngest sister was tourism. and sheffing. You're all just sort of floating around, aren't you? You're real. Yeah.

This family's got a finger on everything. Yeah, it does sound like they're overgraduation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got left out. I mean to thrive. They didn't know you need to go to eight. Five's enough. Tammy Mitch, thank you so much.

Let's go to Brooke. When did your parents not care about a big achievement? Oh, hi. Morning. Morning. Well, I've given birth four times now. and every time has been a C-section. Okay.

And my mum said I never had a real birth because I always had C-sections. The recovery time from C-sections is significantly longer than your standard natural birth. Yeah, you get your ably-ling gets sliced open, seven sections below. Baby doesn't count. You go through skin.

I know, even my first one was an emergency, so I didn't really have a choice. Is this way you had four? like, I'll show you, mum. There'll be a vaginal in here somewhere. Far out. Trying to prove a point. Yeah.

Oh, that's really Brooke. Thank you. Is Mama bitch? Can we just go back in Brooke? Do you, Mama, Bill? Oh, are you there, Brooke? Brooke is Mama bitch? Yeah.

Is my mama bitch? Yeah, is your mama bitch? Sometimes. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. I was just one specific thing she was locked in on or she was just sort of a

generally a bitch. Joe, when did your parents? not care about your big achievement. Good morning, good morning. Hey, so I managed to stuff some tickets to the Waz. Yes. Wow, huge. Up the Waz.

That's what hard to get. And I got my old manor ticket. And he said, oh, where are we sitting? I said, well, firstly, you're lucky to even come. Yeah. It was self-stand. It is quite high. It is near the top.

And then he asked, do I need to bring binoculars? And I just saw how rude. How rude, no wonder mom left you, and your barbecues are shit that I come to on Sundays. Yeah, bro. Yeah, now we're flinging shit on each other. I just, I waited in Q, took me so long. Yeah. Your fat prick, you know.

You're fat prick. Can't even barbecue. Don't forget Friday as well, we're wearing it for the wares tomorrow. Yeah, we're. Put on some gear, mate. He'll be listening. He will be? Oh, great.

He'll be listening. You know, he will know my voice. Right. He listens to the show, chooses to listen. Well, no, actually, let's give this guy a second chance. Are you in the South Sand? I'm in the South Stan. And Carwin?

She in the South Stand as well. I don't know if Carwins is your name. Yeah, right. Yeah, South Sand's going to be where it's at. That's all the bloody, a fair bit of ruckus in the South Day. Well, enjoy the game. Joe, thank you. Some of the messages in when your parents kind of didn't celebrate your achievement.

At my graduation, my dad left halfway through because he had to get back to work. I found out when I met it with my mum afterwards and she said, oh yeah, dad's left. She handed me a bunch of flowers and said, all right, see you at home. Oh, God, we just want to be praised. Also, they'd driven me to the ceremony, so I had to bus home in my graduation regalia in heels,

and a face messed up from makeup because I cried the whole way. This was 10 years ago. I've accomplished many other things, including a PhD, but have learned never to yearn for their approval for anything. That's sad. Wow. There's some funny ones, Haley.

There are some, there's some trawlburn and some issues. Did you read the Maslite ones? No, I haven't read it either. Two-time regional math lead in year 7 and 8. Yeah. Won the first under-16's regional rugby tournament for our club. Second for under-18 rugby and first in regional under-18 volleyball. We've got to over-achieving.

Yeah, wow. Did you win money, though? Was the first thing. Now I send hate mail to my parents every year in the form of a retirement home pamphlet. No, that's not, that's too expensive to be hate mail. Those aren't cheap. Those aren't cheap. You want to find them a nice dingy.

caravan park to live in in their life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My husband's family disowned us when we told them we'd purchased the house and we're moving towns. That's so weird. Yeah. True story, I'm the only sibling to finish high school and not get addicted to meth. Wow.

But I'm the one my parents are less proud of. What? Do they like meth? What are the parents like, man, you've got some good meth, son? Your parents were on meth and the other sibling was giving them meth, they would be the favorite. Yeah, true. Because they got the meth hook up.

9-6-96. Are your parents on meth? I told mum, I was the first ever Māori head prefect at my school and she said, being Māori was probably the only reason I got it. Oh my God! Wow. It's so bad. It's so bad.

My parents suck. No call on my children's first birthday or any for that matter. Even the 21st. I recently turned 50. I thought that might muster up a call, but no. call them in their birthdays? Oh, don't.

Yeah. I just put like down at that point. Yeah. God. Somebody said, man, a lot of parents are going to be getting messages today about this topic. I know, yeah. I ran the Comrades Marathon, 92 kilometers. There was 13,000 entries that year.

And my dad said, that's nice. Did you win? 92 kilometers. I mean, it's completing it is what counts. Yeah. Yeah. I tried out for a New Zealand rep team and got a rejection letter as the first selection and got put on the reserves.

Mum had put the rejection letter on the fridge, and that was 25 years ago. She still has it. What's the sort of motivate you to never give up? You know? Wow. Remember that time you didn't make it? Yeah.

Wow. I ran an 85 kilometre race. Old Ghost Road is what it's called. It took me a while. And my parents, the first thing they did was mention how fast my cousin ran a marathon. Now, there's some major differences here. I did a trail run. There was 85 kilometers.

meters long and they did a road marathon. You cannot compare these two yet they told me that my cousin had run a faster marathon. You did four times more right? Yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly distance and the fact that you're on a track. My mum always said your sister's a smart one, your brother's a creative one and you just need to get through life.

Oh my god! We should have sponsored this segment with therapy. Yes, yeah, yeah, get help. In my mid-80s. In the mid-80s. And I was like, God, thank you. for listening. In the mid-80s, my friends and I did a

solo parachute jump, half a day's training at the local airfield. I had to borrow $80 off the old man, and as I was walking out the door he said, how do I get my money back if you die? That's just old mate, though. That's classic old mate. I'm the oldest of four, and according to my mum, was the easiest child. I won an end of year

best student prize. My parents didn't come to the awards because my baby brother had a picnic. It is kindy that day. I am still wildly better. Wow. There's some people holding on to these, eh? I won a history essay competition when I was $10, $150. So at 10, that's a big deal.

After the assembly, where it was announced, another parent said to my mum, you must be so proud. My mum seemed generally surprised by her question and said, I guess so. I hadn't really thought about it. Yeah, I guess so. My step-mom told me my early childhood education degree wasn't a real degree because I went to AUT, and technically that's a technical institute, not a university.

That's a university. Yeah. Wow. These are incredible, aren't they? Good stuff, good stuff. My mum with five minutes up the road from the first business that I opened. It took her three months to come and see it.

You wouldn't even go on the day you opened. You know, not everyone should be a parent. That's what I'm really... No. Because if my kid kept ringing me in and come to this and do that and put this here and aren't you proud and stuff, I'd probably grow a bit tired of it as well. No, what do you want to go?

be a liberty day. Go on, I'm still working. The ZN Podcast Network. Well, September 11 is a date that will live in for me. And if you were around and remember it, then it might surprise you know it was 25 years ago this year. So tomorrow is our September 11th, but technically it was September 12th when it happened here.

Yeah. September 11, 2001. I remember it. Do I remember it. I think it's one of those shocking things. It's like when Princess Diana died, I always remembers Mo and the horns. When the 9-11 thing happened, I woke up.

The clock radio told me, It was weird. It was like very serious. I was like, what's, what's happened to here? Well, I was already awake. What time were you sleeping into? No, I was like seven. It was seven o'clock the alarm went off.

Was it? Okay. And then my flatmate Ben came running up the driveway because he had a job working like talkback nights. Oh, yeah. Like panelling and stuff. Doing the buttons and getting the callers. And he'd watched it all unfold like live.

And so he arrived with the whole backstory of 9-11. And then we just sat in front of the TV all day, watching the horrendous different angles of a terrorist attack. You'll never forget the full. I don't know why there's so much of it on Instagram. Could you imagine if it happened now how much more we would see than we did? I don't want to see, I want to see less of it. I find this is hot take.

I find 9-11 so dark. Yeah. The videos, like one popped up the other day of like the, you know, people were chosen to jump. A few years ago they said they'd come across all this footage that I never had before and it was like these college students who were living like. Oh my God, and they're having drinks? And then it just... In the background of their video, it's all on that.

It just always blows my mind the news. Well, you might be thinking after we've talked about and how horrendous it was visually in the order. Every time I hear a plane going over my house to come into land at the airport, I'm like... Imagine. That sound. It may surprise you to know a cafe in Bournemouth

in the UK is hosting an immersive 9-11 watch party with guests invited to relive the world's deadliest terror attacks as have always happening in real time. It will happen at around about the same time that it happened. Oh, I hate this. And they've been invited to leave their phones at the door and experience the fears, tears and paranoia of lies, news channels, analysis and raw footage of the disaster

played out in real time. Oh my God. So it starts with the reports of the first tower being hit and then 17 minutes later was that? Wait, did you say a cafe, are they doing this to sell paninis? No. I don't want a cranberry bread. Do you know what I'm watching this?

Chicken cranberry berry panini. Yeah, I'm just here for a nice sort of chive scorn. It was not intended as a trivialisation or a trivialisation of the event. It's by a political arts group. Oh, okay. Do you think this is... They're holding it at the wild boo-scoom cafe. It's aimed at like maybe Gen Zs or younger people that didn't experience and live through.

Maybe. The people that will flippantly share the dark memes without really... Maybe. Yeah. If you were too young to get a feel for what it was like, they said, If you were there when it happened, it might refresh your memories. If you were too young to get a feel of what it was like as it happened, then you can experience it in real time.

Or for a big list we forget. Like, we don't want to forget. If we forget, you know, history repeats, but also, like, forget the sort of close-up details in the... Yeah, the footage that sort of keeps on playing. Interesting, where do you buy tickets? You know, I'll plug the website for this. I was going to say ticket.

No. No. No. No. It's my friend's birthday tomorrow. He hates one of my week. What's your birthday? It's like September 11, okay?

Oh, wow. Okay. The Zanin Podcast Network. Well, our Australian neighbours at Flinders University have released some research. And I want to ask, Georgia's in as well, Georgia from the day show. Waza! Wazza! We don't do that anymore.

Don't we, shit. What do you do? Having a bad bud watching the game. Wadda! Having a bad. When you guys flush your toilet, do you put the lid down? No. I put it down after.

No, because yeah, you've got to flush and check. Flush and check. Yeah, you've got a skitties. Yeah, especially I'm a heavy toilet paper user. I do put it down a pad before. Yeah, a little, so no one hears me, splash pad. I go mini flush, I go mini flush, toilet paper, wipe the seat, even if at my own house.

Oh, that's crazy. Pad, poo, toilet paper, flush. Flush. Mine's like lots of toilet paper, just to double, triple check. I've actually wiped it clean. Yeah. Sometimes it's like wiping a Sharpie. Yeah.

Go on, I know. It's going on. I keep going on, I'm going to go on. You guys got that toilet paper that does a little red dot till you're finished? No,

that's a bit fancy. Unnecessary. You know, well, you don't see the dot until you've wiped it in a minute. You've wiped it. I don't get it. It means he's bleeding.

Oh, you're bleeding. That's dangerous. You've got to get checked for that. It's wiped so hard. He's made his own nose plate. I thought it was a special toiletabover guy. Okay, so Flinders University in Australia, they have released research.

Researchers have found that flushing toilets releases aerosols or bio aerosols. Yeah. Spray, sprits, vapors. That go into the surrounding air. Studies detected particles at heights corresponding to breathing, the breathing zone of human adults. You, but they don't know me. I'm 5.11, so. So it gets to you faster.

No, it gets me later. Because I'm up higher. From the toilet, my face is away. Why, everybody's always worried about poo particles, man. Pooh particles, man, I don't wash my mushrooms. No, I have a coffee sometimes in the weekend. I'll have a coffee while I'm sitting on the toilet. Same.

Coffee on the bob, rule. Sometimes eat a little sandwich. Same, I'll brush my tea. I don't know about eating a sandwich. Bread's very porous, but... I will brush my teeth on the toilet too. I've done that. Do you lean over and spit in the sink?

Because from my toilet, I can go... Okay, how many seconds do you reckon that the aerosols after you flush are hanging there? Five. At mouth breathing height. How long does it take to get there? No, how long does it take to get there? No, how long are they hanging in the air?

You know, when you see like a fly spray dispenser. Yep. Settles. So how many seconds? Five. 20 seconds, according to the research. Oh, I'm at the bathroom, but I don't watch the hands that long. I'm not standing there going flush.

Don't you? I'm just kind of like, flush, no skids. No, we do flush looking, checking. Always checking. Oh, actually, yeah, heads in the bowl. Yeah, you're basically checking and you're getting it all in your face. See, we need to stop doing this. God, I've been worse.

When I started seeing Amy, she doesn't have her toilet brush out. She hides it. She thinks they're disgusting and they should be hidden. What a nice one? What's a brass? What is she? A hotel? She hides the toilet brush.

I hate that. And the first time I would go poise before I went to her house. God forbid. Yeah. You know. God, yeah. She could wake up to the fact and be like, what am I doing with this guy? Or afterwards be waiting and be like, I need to pee.

No, you don't. No you don't. Just go away. And so there was a skin and I was like, there's no toilet brush. And there was the first time I noticed there was no toilet brush. Well, you like down there with some wads of paper toilet. You did, eh?

You did. I read my hand in that and I was like, when you're having a hotel hookup? Yeah. Hotel hookups and you take a poo before they come over and then there's no bloody brush and you're like, what am I doing? What am I doing?

What am I? And then you can't get into it? I tell you what, I've said a hotel, I'm not above using the hand towel. And then just throw it in the bin. Yeah. That's on you. I'll throw it in the bin.

George, get that out of there. If you like today's podcast, tell your friends. You could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.