ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 11th April 2024

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

Top 6: Choccy Milk  Accidental Thefts  Silly Little Poll! Hayley's Toilet Drama  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshborn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Happy Thursday. Happy Thursday. Is it Thirsty Thursday? Uh, it can be.

It's been pretty thirsty all week, to be honest. Right. I'm on the, I'm on the waters. Yeah, I'm on the waters too. I've already had a little... I think I've already had a litre of water on the drive. Is this a pint glass? Yeah, that's a pint glass.

A pint of water? Good, okay. A pint of water, great start to the day. You've got to hydrate. Sadly. Sadly. Sadly. Shit, what is it, an inconvenience for you having to drink water?

Sadly, we have to hydrate. It would be nice to have a small IV backpack that you could just slip on under your shirt and it just hydrates you all day. Do they do that here? People come around if you've got a hangover and give you an IV? It's very Hollywood. It's in Vegas. You can do it in Vegas.

I know that. The celebs do it, eh? They're like, I'm too rich to have this hangover. Imagine that. And then you get a drip and you're feeling eh? Yeah. They're like, I'm too rich to have this hangover. Get a nurse over. Imagine that. And then you get a drip and you're feeling great. Yeah. I mean, I'd do it.

Maybe you'd do that if you're a nurse too. Go into work slightly hungover, hook yourself up. They do, don't they? What is it that they put in? Magic juice. It's just like saline. Saline. Electrolytes or something. You might want to get, yeah.

I'd ask for a little bit of spice in there. Add a bit of spice. Kiss a morphine or something like that. What a way to start the day. Yeah, I don't know if that's the way to go. Just kiss. Top six on the, I was about to say we've got $50,000 to give away. We gave it away to Jane.

Jane picked that up. Well deserved. Yeah, well deserved by all accounts. Yep. So picked that up. Well deserved. Yeah, well deserved by all accounts. Yep. So, yeah, but... It's nice that it got one, and everybody that didn't win is being very nice. They are being very nice.

That was nice to see. In its place, Add to Cart, kicking that off at 9 o'clock this morning with Georgia. Gave away some AirPods yesterday and all kinds of goodies. Hell yeah. I need to try the AirPods. Do you reckon, speaking just one step back, that Jane and Rhys, who won the $50,000,

they'll need a saline drip today, won't they? They'll do the Barocco, I reckon. They wanted to head to the pub at 7am. Yeah, I'd say so. The top six is coming up. Yeah, the top six good names for a barbershop quartet for National Barbershop Quartet Day. Oh, I was in a barbershop quartet. Of course I was.

Yeah. Go, do your bit. I was the lead, so it was always the main note. Yeah. It was pretty nerdy. I can't even remember the songs we sung. Right. Did you wear the little hats? No. We were called, was it the Sweet Margaritas or something? Because we're Queen Margaret. Sweet Margaritas.

Oh. Explains your love for margaritas to this day. To this day. Top six coming up. Next on the show, though, there is tomato sauce insurance. It's a thing. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

In the Middle East, Heinz Ketchup, which is, is it, Heinz owns what is, eh? Like, our tomatoes still the same thing? Oh, yeah, that's right. Same company? Probably. Different sauce, though. Is it? Very.

It's a very different sauce. Different tomatoes. Vinegary, eh? Yeah. Ketchup has more tang and tart to it. It's runnier. And it's runnier, whereas we've got thick sweetness. Right.

Yeah, bit of sugar in there. Well, and this is completely, this is absolutely a marketing thing. It is tomato sauce insurance for tomato sauce mishaps. Oh, like going like that. Like you shake the bottle, it goes over your clothes, you're eating chips on your lunch break, and it goes all over your white shirt. Yeah.

I mean, that's on you for wearing a white shirt. So this is Heinz Arabia, and you can go on their website, and they've teamed up with an insurance company, and they say you're not allowed to be fraudulent here. There's all kinds of rules. Of course not. But I can't work out how much they pay you. But you say, I've had this mishap,

and then they will give you like a prize. Yeah, I saw, looking at it, it's like, yeah, 1,000 AED. What's the, it's not Durham,, 1,000 AED. What's the... It's not Durham, is it? Durham? Durham. Yeah. That's the currency.

So how much is that in New Zealand dollars? Because surely people would just be squirting it on their top. I don't think it's that much. Like $20 or something. Yeah. Go... $455 New Zealand dollars. Oh, okay.

No, I'm not mad at it. 1,000 United Arab Merits Durham. Okay, I'm going to squeeze some of that on my dollars. Oh, okay. No, I'm not mad at it. $1,000 in Arab merits Durham. Okay, I'm going to squeeze some of that on my shirt. Yeah, absolutely. So the policy's official site lists 57 damage descriptions, which Heinz say will be eligible for a claim. Some of them include the mega squeeze, where the claimant attempts a mega squeeze of Heinz ketchup,

causing ketchup to disperse in all directions. Yeah. Like you've got a cloggy hole. You squeeze a cloggy hole and it spurts. Do you know if we're talking cloggy holes

it's what is burger sauce gets the cloggy hole because the hole where it comes out is too small for the pickle bits they put in it. Yeah the chunks.

Oh yeah. And then you give it a squeeze and then I'll say half the bottle of what is burger sauce is on you. I think they need to move to a slightly larger hole.

Or a tub. If I could provide that feedback. Would you almost go a tub? No. What's his spoon? I'd get through it so quickly if it was a tub, because you just scoop. Big spoon.

Well, the other claims, part of the 57 claims for tomato sauce injuries, Heinz site, the claimant attempts to squeeze the bottle with a loose nozzle, causing temporary vision impairment. That's good. Been there, done there. Maybe painting on the walls. Do you know what? This is good from them.

I'm on the Heinz Arabia you know what? This is good from them. I'm on the Heinz Arabia Instagram. It's good marketing. Good marketing, actually. Good marketing from them. That's a lot of money. I don't think this would work in New Zealand. People would just be squirting it on their top and claiming. No, that's exactly what they want you to do, though, right?

I mean, maybe, yeah. Oh, yeah, so the company's called Heinz Wadis Limited. Yeah. So it's the same. But yeah, this is in the Middle East, not New Zealand because I don't think it would fly. You know, like all you can eat

and all you can drink. They don't really fly here. Because we're greedy. We're greedy. We're greedy people. Man, the price of burger sauce has gone up. $9.50 for a 500ml of burger sauce. Yeah, right.

The price of everything has gone up. Yeah, I know, but that's a big increase for burger sauce. Did you think burger sauce would be exempt?

I want, I was just looking to see if burger sauce came in a bulk purchase option. Oh, yeah. Like if Gilmore's had a five litre

of burger sauce. Oh, they probably do. Our family gets through it. The girls have it with every meal. You just have to make your own. Would that be cheaper? Nah. Mayonnaise.

It wouldn't be as good, would it? Ketchup. Mustard, pickles. Yeah, by the time you buy all that, you might as well just buy it. Yeah. But if it comes in a bucket, is what I'm saying. I happily have a bucket in the fridge. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. You laughed at me, but I have 1,900 followers on TikTok.

And what does it say when a video is muted, Shannon? What does that mean? Basically, a lot of music catalogue on TikTok got removed. So that means your post will be silent. How embarrassing. If you watch it back, I can guarantee you'll give yourself the ick because I've watched a few of my old videos

that are muted. It's embarrassing. Yeah, the two that have been muted are ones where I did like quick transition get readies with a Taylor Swift thing. I'm just deleting the whole profile. I'm out. I am out.

How do I get rid of this whole thing? It could have been a great TikTok career. I'm out. I am out. How do I get rid of this whole thing? It could have been a great TikTok career. So much work. It's so much effort. When did I post these even? Like literally two years ago. Yeah, okay.

That's so embarrassing. Now TikTok have announced a rival for Instagram. It's called TikTok Notes, I believe. We'll cross to our real TikTok Notes, I believe. We'll cross to our real TikTok correspondent, Shannon Trim at the social media desk and snacks and cuddles desk.

Thank you. What is this? TikTok Notes. Yeah, it's seeming like it's going to be an entirely separate app from TikTok and it's just basically trying to go against Instagram. Obviously, Instagram tried threads for a while. God, that was cringy.

Everyone jumped on it for like one second. And then you couldn't delete your threads without deleting your entire Instagram account, but they've changed that now. They've changed that. Facebook's still telling me about threads. Really? Really crowbarring it in.

What these people you follow on Facebook are saying on threads. But every one of my mates who are also social media managers are like, really, we have to learn another one now? And it's kind of like this big decision of do we actually hard launch into these new apps and try it and

risk looking embarrassing by not doing it right? Or do we just stick to what we know? We just stick to what we know. Well, the world changes, so we have to adapt. No, we don't. This is what happens as you get older. You dig in your heels. You get left behind in the past. Just like, you know,

our old sort of racist grandparents and whatnot. That's the new version is us being like, oh, I'm not bloody getting on the notes. It's just weird though because is it actually

going to work? I feel like people are too stuck in. Threads really came in hot and no one's used it. Is this TikTok notes even going to work? Yeah, but what if it's good

and everybody's got TikTok? What do you mean what if it's good and everybody's got TikTok? What do you mean what if it's good? It's just Instagram which we've already sort of got going. I feel like people are getting sick of Instagram. No, they're not. It's my platform of choice. It'll be interesting to see if followers and profiles swap over

because when threads got introduced, you had to get your followers back. That's right. So if you have to start fresh, I feel like everyone's going to stay on Instagram because who wants to start with zero followers? Yeah. How embarrassing. Yeah. How embarrassing.

I'm personally not looking forward to it. Yeah. Okay. Well, it's by the sounds of it launching soon because people have been getting notifications saying that it's coming. So there you go. Another thing to have to waste your time. No thank you. I'm just

going to go on Instagram and I'm going to post pictures on it. Still pictures. Yeah. And look at your reels. Zero engagements. Mum's going to watch reels for a bit and that's me. The news outlet broadcast the eclipse.

Big news this eclipse, eh? Huge news. I watched a really beautiful clip of a, what are they called? The weather guys? Meteorologists. Meteorologists.

Yeah. Who was reporting on it and they looked back and he was like, oh, oh, and he starts crying. It's really beautiful.

What did he do that for? It's just perfect. Really? But it has seemed, like in America, oh, and he starts crying. It's really beautiful. And he's like, that's just perfect. Really? But it has seemed like in America it's brought everybody together. I know. It's like sort of a lovely unifying moment. And now we'll go back to fighting today. Yeah. I don't think it brought everybody together because the same people

that go a little bit like left field were claiming it was like faked. Oh, I know. Oh, really? There was people claiming it was like faked. Oh, I know. There's people saying it was fake. There's people saying it was like to distract us from something else. How did they fake it? What's the thought? Break it down. How did we move that? Look, it's a small minority of people being amplified

on social media. That's right. So, this was in Mexico and they were taking listeners, viewers submitted footage. Yes, of the eclipse. Of the eclipse. Because the eclipse didn't go across Mexico, did it?

No, it did. I saw some photos from Mexico. It went through and then down, I think. Did it? I thought it went up through America. Might have come down. I just saw the line. There was no arrow on the line.

Oh, yeah, because I think it got to Niagara Falls last. Oh, yeah, right. That'd be a place to watch it. A million people watched it from the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. It was like they declared an emergency because they didn't know how to get them all out safely. Oh, my God. So parts of Mexico, US, and Canada got to see it.

So they were just opened it up and said, if you've got footage Of the eclipse Send it in Now they must have Not been thoroughly Checking them Because they literally Played a video

Of the sun in the sky And then you see Something moving Across the sun And then you realise It's a dude's balls It's testicles He

He Pulls an eclipse With his testicles I watched this clip Last night I was like Testicular eclipse That's well done

Pretty funny Pretty good Pretty good So good And then the shot So childish Because there's like three presenters One of them picked up on it

And the other two not sure what the hell's going on They were a little humorless about it as well. They sort of screamed. It's so funny. But yeah, that's why I guess if you're running a news broadcast or anything where you're just quickly taking user submissions and putting them on, you've got to check these things.

At least cast an eye over it. People will get you. Although at the start, to be fair, the first 10 seconds did look like an eclipse. Well, it was just the sun. Yeah. And then it slowly like was zoomed in and then it zoomed out. And you kind of see that, you know when you've got bright light behind hair?

Yeah. And the light like refracts through the hair and it's got kind of this gingery. Yeah. Yeah. Did you get an uncensored one of the balls? Because I could only Ever see censored Oh no Pixelation

Yeah Heavily pixelated balls Oh my god I love when they cut back To the studio Because they had to get out of it One of the chicks Is just on the phone

Like texting away And he's like Oh yeah What happened? There's balls behind you babe Play ZM's Fletch For Denali

Play ZM From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hi, it's International Barbershop Quartet Day today. I didn't know this was a thing. April 11th. Happy International Barbershop Quartet Day. To those that celebrate.

To those that celebrate, please don't force your four men singing in different... On me. Different volumes and different pitches on me. Don't force your four men on me. Don't force your pitch pipe on me. Don't force your melody, bass, tenor and baritone on me. Oh, yeah. And your silly hats and your pinstripe.

Yeah, your waistcoats. Don't force your bow ties on me. The origins of the barbershop quartet are known. Oh. Nothing like locked in for certain. They believe it was late 19th, early 20th century in the United States of America. In a barbershop?

Yep. Yeah. Okay. Because it's got particular harmonies. Like it's the way they do the harmonies in the four, it's not like a choir. It's different. It gives it that distinctive kind of sound.

I quite like a good one. Yeah. When you hear a good one and they're singing one of the songs. Mr. Sandman. Yeah. Well, that's actually not even on the list. In 1971, president of the BHS, that's barbershop something, something, Ralph Ribble, which is just the greatest name I've heard today,

launched the Barber Pole Cat Program, where there were 12 songs commonly known as the Pole Cats That would be used in competitions Right That's sexy stuff, isn't it? That's sexy content I've got the top six good names for barbershop quartets Number six on the list

The B-Flat Bastards They have to be Scottish and fat though Okay, yep Yeah, I like that Yep, B-flat bastards. Number five on the list of the top six great names for barbershop quartets. Four crying out loud. Because there's four of them.

Yeah. And they're crying out loud. That could be insulting to their... Four crying out loud. Sounds like wailing, you know, like... Yeah, yeah. Ah! Number four on the list of the top six great names for a barbershop quartet.

Sons of a Pitch. I love that. I like that. Sons of a Pitch. You sons of pitchers. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six fantastic names for barbershop quartets for National Barbershop Quartet Day.

Everybody in this barbershop needs to be called Ian and they need to be able to bring axes because they are the Barberians. Great, great. Okay, yeah. The Barberians. The Barberians. Number two on the list of the top six best names of all time for a barbershop quartet.

Number two is the local optometrists have to start this one. Okay. They're called the C-sharps. Oh, that's one. Okay. They're called the C-sharps. Oh, that's good. Yeah, okay. Called the C-sharps. I like that. And number one on the list of the top six most fantastic ever.

You'll never beat them names. Great. For the Barbershop Quartet. Deez Notes. More like Deez Notes. More like Deez Notes. Yeah, great. What about Deez Notes? How about Deez Nuts. More like Deez Nuts! Yeah, great. What about Deez Nuts?

How about Deez Nuts? Yeah. Get it? Yeah. You like it? Yeah. Because the D is a note. The D is a note.

I like it. It's like Deez Nuts. Yeah. That's good. This is good from you, actually. Deez Nuts! How you like Deez Nuts? Yeah, how you like Deez Nuts?

That's, if you're in a barbershop, you can use any of those names. For free? Yeah, for free. That's just if you're in a barbershop you can use any of those names. For free? Yeah, for free. That's just a little service I provide here. Yeah. At the Top 6 and that is today's Top 6.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. God, guys. Now, look. Everyone's looking for a quick fix to lose weight all the time. It's as old as time itself. Yeah.

People wanting to lose weight, right time. It's as old as time itself. Yeah. People wanting to lose weight, right? And the easiest way possible. That's human nature. The fastest, easiest way possible. Now, Ozempic is one of those fast, easy ways. In America in particular, people are taking it. It's a diabetes medication to help with insulin resistance.

Australia as well. People are taking it all over the place. But a side effect is quite dramatic weight loss and because... Well, a side effect is also death. People have died. One of the now known, like actually, you know,

identified side effects of Ozempic is death. Now, Ozempic works by... Well, one of the ways it works is by absolutely crushing your appetite. So the reason you lose weight is because you barely eat anything because you're not hungry you starve yourself and then the moment you would have come off ozenpick and you would eat a normal amount of food

because your appetite would return, you'd put on the weight twofold, that's just how diets work crash diets work, because you starve yourself, anyway so now this is on TikTok, oatzenpick because not everyone can get their hands on a Zenpick and it's not affordable for a lot of people. Oat Zenpick.

Okay. Where you put into a blender half a cup of rolled oats, a cup of water, and the juice of half a lime. Oat Zenpick. And you drink it. And then as described by one person, it tastes nasty. It would just be like a tangy slurry. Yeah, disgusting.

Are the oats, it's not hot water. The oats aren't cooked previously. Nah, it'll just be moo later. Raw oats. Raw dog oats. Everyone's like, I lost 20 kgs in two months. That's too fast. That's not healthy, my dude.

Wait, you're not eating any other food? So that's what you're eating is like one of your main meals And then essentially, so then I was trying to find a good article that wasn't promoting this And it was a doctor came in and being like, hey, let's talk about oat Zenpick Because basically what you're doing is giving yourself a meal that's about 150 calories Which is not enough calories for it to sustain you in any which way. And so it's just another version of starving yourself. And she said,

please know that if you were to try this, if you go back to what you were eating before you tried this, you will gain the weight back and most likely more. It is so stupid. Eat a well-balanced meal. Eat some fruit and veg.

If you'd want to lose weight, there's like better ways to do it. Talk to people that aren't on TikTok blending raw moolah oats with a squeeze of lime and calling it a meal. That is so nasty. What does the lime do?

Just stop everyone getting scurvy. Is it a bit like the lemon? Do you remember when everyone was doing the lemon detox diet? I know. It kickstarts your metabolism. No, it doesn't. It gave you the runniest, burniest shit.

And you were just like drinking, was it cane paper and lemon juice? Cane paper and lemon juice. Yeah, kind of. And tons of water. Ask anyone that did that lemon detox diet where you starved yourself how long the weight stayed off. Because you would. You'd drop weight very, very quickly.

And the moment you were like, okay, well, that's not sustainable. I'm going to start eating again. Yeah, it goes on. Your body would be like, thank God. Yeah. Silly, silly stuff. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. That's a lot, eh?

That's a lot. So there is a woman who, this is in America, and she came home from just a normal shopping trip at Target. Now, at Target, can you do groceries? Yeah. Right, so it's everything. In America, yeah. Right.

So she comes home from Target, and her husband's doing that thing where he's got her in the back and he's filming her unpacking the groceries, being like, have you forgotten something? She's like, what? What? What is it? What?

Like looking through the basket. What have I forgotten? She's sort of getting annoyed at him. What she doesn't realise is she doesn't have a shopping bag. She's just taken home the Target basket, like the shopping basket. Oh, supermarkets hate when you do this. Have you seen what my supermarket's got?

Lots of signs up. Oh no, I've seen some that have security tags on them. Yeah, they have security tags on them so you can't take them back out the door. Well, she doesn't realise. That's the thing. Like she wasn't just like, oh, security tags on them so you can't take them back out the door. Well, she doesn't realise that's the thing. Like, she wasn't just like, oh, I didn't bring any shopping bags, I'll just take the basket.

Yeah. She's just like, obviously, so busy and, you know, distracted that she hasn't noticed she's doing it until, like, literally the penny drops. She's like, how the hell did this get here? I was like, well, you've obviously brought it home. She's like, no, I didn't. She shoplift was like, well you've obviously brought it home. She's like, no I didn't. Shoplifted a basket. Yeah, she

shoplifted a basket. Where could you buy your own baskets? I think Sistema were doing them because the supermarkets were selling them for a while I think because that would be handy because then you just put it straight in the car. We've got one. And it's just a black one like it's unbranded. I don't know where it's from.

And a tradie left it at our house. It's so good. You pack up little things, take it down to the garage. You know, they're awesome. I'm not encouraging stealing them. But buy your own. You could probably buy your own. Yeah, I'm pretty sure Sustema were doing them.

Or you go to those like container stores. Shopping basket. Here you go. Mitre 10's got them. Save Barn. Where? Cotton On. Save Barn doesn't have them. You guys been to Save Barn?'s got them. Are they? Savebarn. Where? Cottonons. Savebarn doesn't have them.

You guys been to Savebarn? No, I've never been to Savebarn. Savebarn rules. Is it like a $1, $2, $3 shop? Nah. Okay. What is it? Where is it?

It's a great supplies commercial, but sells caravans and trailers and fishing rods. They've just got a classic red shopping basket. Oh, there you go. For $27. Oh, no, for $15.95. If you wouldn't take that basket. Oh, there you go. For $27. Oh, no, for $15.95. You wouldn't take that to the warehouse. They'd think you've stolen that.

Yeah. Because that looks like a warehouse basket or a New World basket. You would need to explain every time. It's red, yeah. Yeah, you'd want to get one that was so clearly not part of any grocery chain that we know. But, yeah, accidentally stealing things.

An accidental shoplift. This is what we want to talk about this morning. When did you accidentally steal something? Maybe you put something, because I don't understand people that put things in their pockets while they shop. Because they didn't grab a basket and your hands are full. I've done this with a couple of avocados,

popped them in a hoodie and then walked out. I was with you. I was like, I don't want to be involved in this. They've got our face now. Yeah, well now they do. Yeah, they're running all the facial recognition software. The trick to good shoplifting

is not knowing that you're doing it. Yeah, because the confidence. Because you don't look guilty. You just like stroll out. You look very confident. Or maybe like you tried something on. You know, like if you're like trying on a thing

and you're like, oh, try this on and I'll put my jacket and then you like walk out, you're like, I'm still wearing that. I'm always worried. Even if you buy something at a clothes store or a store that the people's will go off because you've accidentally left it on or something. Yeah, I know. I always check for the tag.

Yeah, because they leave them on. To make sure they take them off. Yeah. Well, nothing's worse because you can't get them off. No. It's a magnetic device. You've got to go back. To make sure they take them off. Yeah. Well, nothing's worse because you can't get them off. No, you've got to go all the way back. It's a magnetic device. You've got to go back.

But yeah, that's the question. What did you accidentally shoplift? Like this woman in her basket. Okay, let's take your calls. 0800 DALS at M. Call now. You can text through 9696. What did you accidentally steal?

We're asking what you accidentally stole. Accidentally shoplifted, probably. Because there's a woman who was unpacking her groceries and realised she had the basket still from the supermarket. And heaven forbid. What a ghost. Heaven forbid. We're not encouraging shoplifting.

Oh, my God, I would have dreamed of that. We are talking about accidentally shoplifting. I have never shoplifted in my life. All callers in Texas riddled with guilt to the day. Oh, absolutely. Oh, absolutely. Oh, good. We want guilt. We do.

We want your guilt. Tegan, what did you accidentally shoplift? Hi, I accidentally stole some barbecue sauce. I was going through the self-checkout and I'd put it under my arm. Classic in the pit? Oh, okay. Yeah, because I was like carrying so many things. You know, you go in for one thing,

then all of a sudden you've got... Yeah. I don't need a basket. And then, okay, so you did all the shopping, you paid, and then it was still under your pit. Yeah, exactly, yeah. And then I went out, and I was just like rearranging everything

and putting it in my bag. And then I thought, oh my God, I've come to the barbecue store. And I was like, I felt so guilty, but I didn't want them to know they'd stolen it. So I went right back through the supermarket and went through the self-checkout and paid for it. Oh, what a good girl.

I'm going to be honest. If I'd got to the car, I'd probably just leave. But now they've got all those cameras. I know, I know. So they'll have you on file. Yeah, and I could just keep going because I'm already out now. But then I was like, oh, I think I'd be thinking about it all day. And I was right.

Riddled with guilt. You don't want to be looking over your shoulder. You don't want to be looking over the shoulder for big supermarket. Big sauce coming for you. And you'd be like, you'd see people looking at you and be like, they know. They know over the shoulder for a big supermarket. No one, big sauce. Big sauce coming for you. Yeah. And you'd be like, people, you'd see people looking, you'd be like, they know. They know about the barbecue sauce. They know.

They know. Also, you don't want to like, if that's your one supermarket you go to, you don't want to be blacklisted from there. Yeah, if it's your local. If you're driving through, you know, a town, you may be like, oh, look, I'm never going to drive through here again. Tegan, thanks for your call. Courtney, what did you accidentally steal?

Morning. Good morning. I stole a box of nappies. I was at the supermarket and I had my pram and the capsule and probably half asleep with a newborn baby. And I had a few things in my hand, but I also needed nappies, so I put the nappies underneath. Yeah, in the little tray. In the little tray and the little tray yeah so handy um but i pasted my few little things

at the top and walked through and then realized by the time i was out i'll be honest with you i'm not overly guilty like hey it's nappies man it's nappies, man. It's nappies. I'm an exhausted new mum. Yeah. You didn't go back like the last caller. You were just like, well, free nappies. Yeah, I mean,

I don't think the supermarket's struggling. Good sass from you, actually, Courtney. No, they're not struggling like a mother with a newborn. No, they are not. Thank you, Courtney.

No one is. Sasha, good morning. What did you accidentally steal? Well, it wasn't me. It was my three-year-old daughter. We were at Kmart. It's so early to start in a life of crime. I know, I know.

Well, I'm from the Hut originally. You should understand that. I do understand. I'm surprised that she waited until she was three. We have to fight against becoming criminals. You know, we don't break free from it. We were at Kmart, and I just got here. Kmart, we don't write free from it. We were at old K-Marty and I just got here. K-Marty, K-Marty.

Yeah. And I just got here a backpack for Kindy and she was just being, you know, as three-year-olds are. So I just gave her this toy to play with and then it went missing. I thought, okay, she's dropped it. And then when I got home and unzipped her bag, she put it in the bag and zipped it up.

Oh, my God. And then when you were like, we're going to take it back, she pulled a shiv out of her nappy and she's like, we ain't going nowhere, woman. Did you go back or did you just, you just kept it? To be honest,

it was like a dollar like glitter thing. I thought, I'm looking to miss it. So, yeah. A little bonus, a little five-finger discount. That's also something you can hang over her for the rest of your life.

Like you stole when you were three yeah yeah yeah the police could come at any moment do you know what speaking of which I've had a message from your mother Bev

yeah okay Bev's message saying Carl Fletcher thank you Sasha thanks Sasha Carl Fletcher aged 18 months old picked up a pot plant

in Decker and put it on his lap in his push chair his mother did not realise until we were outside 18 months you're a criminal I am a criminal you're a little and put it on his lap in his pushchair. His mother did not realise until we were outside. We've got a criminal. We've got a criminal.

I am a criminal. You're a little shitty criminal. Wait, did we get away with it? I don't know. Did she plant it? She probably would have planted it. Imagine if it's still flourishing in the garden now. No wonder a dicker went under. Was that my fault?

Was that my fault? It was the one thing. It was the one thing that... Ow, ow. Ow, ow. Ow, ow. Tick-a-tick-a-tick. Oh, my God. Here we are.

Carl, Carl. It was saying Carl, Carl. Carl, Carl. Tick-a-tick-a-tick. I should have been riddled with guilt. Move the plant. Move the plant. Accidentally stole champagne and chips from a restaurant.

Both my friend and I thought we'd paid, but we hadn't. We walked out. Oh, yeah, that would be... Oh, the accidental walk away. Yeah. Champagne and chips. What a combo. Oh. Oh, the accidental walk away. Champagne and chips. What a combo. Some places you pay up front,

other times you pay at the end and then you get so confused sometimes you walk out. Especially with a couple of champers on there. Yeah, honest to me. Especially if all you've eaten is chips. You've got a bottle of champs on board. I accidentally shoplifted

a couple of Paw Patrol stuffed toys thanks to my almost three-year-old putting them in the basket of his brother's prams. The prams? Yeah.am. The prams. Yeah. Underneath the prams. I wore my backwards to her.

Needless to say, we're not going back to that shop. Yeah. Yeah, you have to just never go there again, I guess. Yeah. Someone said $40 of petrol from a petrol station. Did that classic thing where you fill up and then you drive away? Because you're used to it being on pre-paid.

They'll have your plate. I'm surprised used to it. They'll have your plate. I'm surprised you haven't. They'll be messaging you. Yeah. Yeah. I was doing the start of school shop. The new backpack on my back. Went to checkout, paid for the stationary clothes, etc.

Walked out with the new backpack on. You just wore it with confidence. Such confidence. Worst was I'd put new school shoes in the bag as my hands were so full. So now I've got a bag and shoes. Hot bag, hot shoes. Jeepers. You'll be looking over your shoulder all term.

All life. All life. Your whole life just going, well, someone's coming for me one day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly. See you then.

Silly Little Poe, do your hitchhiking. We just heard from a friend of the show, Todd. Yeah. Hot Toddy. Hot Toddy. Hot Toddy said, have you listened to the episode of Between Two Bears, the amazing New Zealand podcast, very well researched. Love. It's had some phenomenal guests on it.

Phenomenal. More than I actually have the record for most swear words in an episode of Between Two Bears, don't we? If we ever go back, I'm going to double it. I've got a record of being Mia Morgan on twice. The only guests that have been on twice. There was an episode of Between Two Bears with Ashley Bloomfield, says Toddy. He mentioned Hayley

Sproul in that. He's such a big fan. I know that's just a little side. He talks about how he hitchhiked everywhere when he was at uni. Yeah, I feel like back in the day, oh, you'd pick him up. I'd pick him up now. Pick him up in a heartbeat. But he hitchhiked everywhere when he was at uni. Which people did back in the day, oh, you'd pick him up. I'd pick him up now. Yeah. Pick him up in a heartbeat. But he's the hitchhiker for winners at uni.

Which people did back in the day. Back in the day. And then, of course, there were some high-profile backpackers that were, you know. Yeah. Yeah. It changed. It changed. Things have changed.

Things have changed. Do you pick up hitchhikers? Is that a silly little poll? 5% of people said yes. 95% of people said no. See, that's why it didn't work for me and my friend when we were hitchhiking Tongariro. I hate to say it.

You're a man. Like, if I was to ever pick up a hitchhiker, it would be a woman or a hot guy. Not hot. A boyish lesbian hitchhiker. Look, if she was boyish and clearly gay, yes. It would be more likely that I'd pick her up. She's Danish Dutch.

Oh. Short. Really looks like she'd tear it up on the soccer field. Riddled with tattoos. Few taps. Yeah. Short hair. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, let's do Vaughn. Let's do Vaughn. Who's Vaughn picking up? Brown. Yeah. Brunette. Racially ambiguous.

Racially ambiguous. Yeah. Yeah. Great teeth Yeah Where am I taking you Waitamo Caves Or like just the marae Down the road

We don't know We don't know You might be a local You might be an international I can't tell Yeah I just don't find myself Driving by myself

Much anymore Because I'm a family And it's weird If I just go away Without them But I used to pick up People who look Not like real I don't stop driving by myself much anymore because I'm a family and it's weird if I just go away without them. But I used to pick up people who look not like real Dero-looking people that I'm like, that person's got a knife or they're going to smell. I didn't want someone smelly in the car.

But I'd pick up hitchhikers, guys or girls. Not guys that look like they could overpower me in a struggle. I feel like every guy could overpower you, Hon. Hon, are you kidding me? Hon! I've got the dog in me. I don't know. I feel like you're a lover, not a fighter.

You're not a survivor. Oh, yeah, that's true. I would never, ever, ever pick up a hitchhiker. I have back in the day when I worked in central Otago. You'd pick up people because sometimes you just feel like you are in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, and I know that, but you don't know that. Dedrick says, I always pick up Hitchcock. Dedrick.

Dedrick. Like Frederick, but Dedrick. Like Deidre and Frederick. D-E-D-R-I-C-K, Dedrick. Dedrick. Is that like some kind of, where does that name come from? Like a Scandi name. It feels British.

Dedrick name origin. Masculine name has German origins. Acting is a re-spelling of Deidrick. You know that German name, Deidrick. Dedrick name origin. Masculine name has German origins. Acting as a respelling of Deidrich. You know that German name, Deidrich. Dedrick. Okay. Translating as power of the tribe or the people's ruler. Okay.

Name will always remind baby of the future power they'll have. Right. So Dedrick says, always pick up Hitchhikers. They always have a great yarn. And I used to Hitchhiker a bit when I was younger. So kind of like paying it back. Yeah. Return the favour.

Laura says, I'm not in the business of being murdered. Yeah. I'm not in that business either. Janet says, it depends on where I'm headed and if I feel safe. Never with my kids in the car. If I see a tourist, particularly a young solo female, I'll pick them up so I know they at least had one safe ride. If it's a local who I see regularly hitching,

I will also pick them up and give them a ride to where they're going. If they look dodged or I see them smoking or anything, I'm not staying on the main, or they're not staying on the main roads, then no. Yeah, because you don't want them lining up a ciggy in your car or just that smoky breath. Smoky breath, yeah. Zinnia says, I'm a woman and also my car is

an absolute state. It's embarrassing even if I'm never going to see this person again. You're the same, Hayley. You might want to pick up someone, but then you realise that your car is a dumpster fire. There's literally nowhere they can put their bag. Yeah. Sorry. Pratik says, because if I ever do, knowing my luck,

I'll end up picking up the stabby type. Yeah. So it's a no from me. Grumpy Lisa's here. Oh, yeah. Welcome, Grumpy Lisa. Oh, my, how am I? Watched too many horror movies to pick them up. I'd end up with a knife in my neck and my bloody rinky-dink car would be stolen.

Yeah. It's good to know she drives a rinky-dink. Yeah. I never... She's a humble woman, our Grumpy Lisa. She pretty much gets angry at European car owners. Oh, she would. Yeah, you pretentious prick. Lisa? She probably gets angry at European car owners like when Audi's passed her in BMWs. Yeah, you pretentious

prick. I did it once and he stank of alcohol, but I'd do it again says Carla. And Christina says, stupid 18-year-old me who thought they were invincible picked up a guy travelling through central Otago. He told me he stabbed somebody and worse, he had huge

serial killer vibes. I was so scared, I haven't done it since. Yeah, I think you've got to put that to hell. I mean, if he said, I've stabbed someone once, I'd literally jam on the brakes, be like, out you pop, then laugh. No, because that's when he stabs you. Or you're like, oh my God, cool, sick, me too.

Me too. Yeah, yeah, stab somebody. I decapitated somebody. You've got to outdo the hitchhiker if they start creeping you out. Producer Shannon pitched this to us this morning, and here we are. Because she has a hot, I suppose, dating or relationship kind of trend. I'd say relationship tip. A little tip?

Yeah. What is your relationship tip, Shannon? Now, separate pans. Okay. Pause for applause. So the idea, yeah, thank you. Yeah, there you go. You get three.

No, she gets three. You did four. Oh, okay. Redacted. One redacted. Well, the idea is that if you own separate pans, every person can use their own aggressiveness level. Maybe one likes a metal spatch and one likes a silicone. You won't get into fights about pan technique

if you have separate pans. Boom. Okay. I mean, I'm single, so I have my own pan. See, and doesn't that work? Someone used my pan once for my old pan and put a scratch in it. I didn't. It wasn't me.

No, this is going back a few years. And I had that scratch in that for years. And I was always like, I didn't do that scratch. I would never do that. And doesn't that piss you off? Yeah, it pisses me off. So if this was your partner, you'd be like, you keep scratching the effing pans. Yeah, you have that pan. And then you might scratching the pans. Yeah, you have that pan.

And then you might get a divorce. Yeah, and that's expensive. Yeah. So basically, if you have separate pans, you're going to stay married forever. Wow. So, Vaughn, you have been married the longest out of anyone here. I'm the only one married here. Exactly.

And so what I said is true. I've also been married the shortest out of anybody here. Yeah, that's right. I've also been married the most times. Longest term partner out of anyone here. Yeah. Now, how would you put this to your relationship?

How would you apply this? Because you guys both cook. Yeah. And you've got many pans. Many pans. But I feel like you both respect the surface you guys both cook. Yeah. And you've got many pans. Many pans. But I feel like you both respect the surface. Respect the pan.

Also, you've got like cast iron pans and non-stick. I'm the only one that uses the cast iron pans. It's difficult. There's a technique to it. There's a technique to it.

And you've got to like season them and God, if they end up in a sink full of soapy water. Oh, RIP. Daddy's going to need a full two,

three coat re-seasoning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I'm fine with because, you know, they look good after a good re-season. I know. Get some rice bran oil on that. High smoke point. Of course.

This is why I don't want one of those pans. Respect the pan. Because I don't have enough time. I had one, but I let it slip. I just couldn't keep up with it. I just want a Teflon, a non-stick wok, and that goes for everything. What do they call that?

Black? Isn't that real bad for you? Yeah, of course. The forever chemicals in non-stick. Yeah. Yeah, they are. Tell you what. Who cares?

It doesn't hold on to anything. Hit that with a metal spatula and you're just really slicing it off and getting... Don't worry about microplastics. You don't worry about the micro Teflons. So you don't microplastics. You don't worry about the microteflons. So you don't have a problem. You both use... Respect the pan. Respect the pan.

See, we... You've got to grease the pan. We mitigate the situation by Aaron not contributing to the cooking. So he never cooks. He doesn't. Yeah. I did give him the word the other day because, obviously, look, he does so much around the house with the renovation and stuff,

so it's fine that he doesn't cook at all. Why did you grab your face like that when you said at all? Yeah, I'm not sure it's at all. I did say like, oh, man, looking forward to this house being done and you getting back on the walk. On the walk. Yeah. What does he do, a stir fry?

I honestly, I don't know what that man does. This is the man that sprinkled, as you know, chopped up peanuts on some roast veggies because he thought it would make them crunchy. I mean, this is what I'm working with. I don't have high hopes. I think it's best you cook, to be honest. It is best I cook, and I respect the pans, but I've got bad pans.

Would this work to other situations like I don't know, couches or other things you share? Yeah because that's the thing right now this is the answer to everything but then you've got lots of everythings. Everybody's got everything. Like two beds, a lot of couples do the sleep divorce and get two beds. I think a pan is a real contentious

item because yeah, one person will respect it and one doesn't. Yeah, there's always that person so roach. Yeah. Scraping the bottom and stuff. Yeah, respect the pan. Forever chemicals, forever love, separate pan. Wow, okay, write that down. Write that on a t-shirt I reckon.

Forever chemicals, forever love, separate pan. Hallmark just have their new anniversary card. Yeah, huge. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I have not been to the gym for over two weeks. It's just life's getting away on me at the moment. I'll say I'm surviving or thriving.

Yeah, for sure. Very busy. And it's fun. I don't feel too bad about it because, yeah, other things are more important at the moment. But I always get into this mindset when this happens where I could easily just let it go for a year I could just be like maybe I don't need that back

but I know that going to the gym makes me very happy in my mind and my bodwa so reading this little hack that I found from a I'll say an influencer online I was like this is genius because almost sometimes it feels like overwhelming I'll say an influencer, a fitness influencer online. I was like, this is genius.

Because almost sometimes it feels like overwhelming to think of like trying to get there and then do a workout, you don't know what you're doing. So she said, this is the lazy girl fitness hack, she calls it. Split it into two separate events. Not just, I've got to go to the gym. I didn't go to the gym. Split into two events.

Getting to the gym is one event. Working out is the second event. And for 30 days, she said, don't even worry about part two. Just focus on part one. What, like go have a sauna or go have a shower? Just going. Literally. Just go and then what, get to reception and turn around?

Like get into your car, park it in the car park, walk into the gym. You could look around. I've done it before where I've like walked around the gym and been like not today you could do what

10 minutes on the treadmill or a bike sit down on a bike for 5 minutes and be like I went to the gym you'll leave you're setting a positive

kind of I guess a habit of like getting there which is honestly half the work and then eventually when that becomes easy enough

and that becomes part of your life you're're like, all right. Have you ever turned around when the car park's been full? Yep. I have parked, sat on my phone for 10 minutes in the car park and left. Wow. Okay. That's not going in.

That's not going in. That doesn't count. That doesn't count. So she's saying you've got to swipe in. Swipe into the gym. When you're at the gym and you see people arrive and then leave five minutes later, I'm always like, why'd

they bother? Why did they even bother? They might be setting a habit. But then the habit of also only being there for five minutes. No, I sort of can see how this would trick the brain into being like, well, now I'm here. That's always the hard part is like going.

Yeah. To just turn up. But then are you then creating a habit of only going to the gym for five minutes? I mean, you could do, but I don't think so. I think most people would be like, right, well, I'm here. I'll do five minutes. Five minutes turns into 10. Then one day you're going, I've actually got a bit more energy. I'll stay around for 20.

I'll do 30. Slow build up. Now I'm getting interested. I'd rather go, not go for a while. Like I haven't been for 20, I'll do 30. Slow build up. Now I'm getting interested. I'd rather not go for a while, like I haven't been for probably a couple of weeks either, and then go, go way too hard, hurt myself and then not be able to go again. Can't work out for a week. Yes, I do that too. I'm like, man,

I haven't gone, I'm going to cane it. I'm going to give it. I can't even sit on the toilet. You know when you're just lowering, you're like, don't make me laugh. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. I think this is a much more gentle approach. You're just a master of getting to the gym. So four weeks, four weeks, go to the gym and then

from there start increasing and actually doing more stuff. That's right. Right, okay. And she was like, trust me, once you're there, and then like neuroscientists are coming and being like, yeah, it's called micro habits and it's ways of changing your behaviour as opposed to being like what we do, which is like slap your behaviour in the face and be like get in the line.

It's like a little change. Change the brain. And then you'll start working out. I'm into it. That's your lazy girl fitness hack from Hayley Sproul, the girl who hasn't been to the gym for two, coming up three weeks. Rough out there in the dating world. There was a Sheila.

I'm going to call her a Sheila. Okay. She went on a date and the bloke, he was on the date with this Sheila. Yeah. And the Sheila and the bloke went on a date and he made a joke and like pointed at something and was like, what's with the MP4 player? What is this, 2001?

And she was like, no no that's my insulin pump you know one of those like built in ones that you've like got and they click on and they kind of run all day now for me calling the insulin pump an mp4 player is especially because I had the coolest mp4

player around it was really cool I had the mp4 player that Fergie used in the Fergalicious music video it was a Samsung one and it slid open in the screen

in the speakers and it was kind of sat there I probably still got it at home you were the biggest Fergie fan like everything

she did you were doing you loved it eh well I was fornalicious yeah you are fornalicious at hotmail.com

I continue to be fornalicious but only in Attitude no longer email Yeah right Yeah Faunalicious definition Faunalicious definition

Make your boys go loco Oh I hate it That's a little woman Cause I'm a working on my fitness He's my witness Oh wee Oh wee I got them boys

I'm rock rock Driving down the road I do I wee. I got that buzzer. Rock, rock. Driving down the road. I feel what I got. I'm burglaricious. I feel Hayley's version coming on. Oh, vaunalicious. Yeah. For his birthday next year.

Next year, I promise you, my friend. Feb 20, Hayley's version. Long tease. Put it in the calendar. Feb 20, 2025. Because we'll forget. That gives you a long time to work on the rap too. Vaughnalicious.

Anyway, so this. V to the A to the U-G-H-A-N. You taste it. V to the A to the U-G-H-A-N. You taste it. I like this. Wow, what a long tease. Stay tuned listener for Feb 20 2025. Anyway, so

the guy like shared it and was like, guys, the joke felt, because he was like, he knew what it was, but like made like a little joke. He said it felt so flat. And then she was insulted and then quickly the date was done. I mean, I don't have an insulin pump and that would be horrible, but I feel like I would find that funny. Yeah. I'd rather have an insulin pump than not have an insulin pump.

Yeah. It takes something off your mind, right? Do I bet it? Maybe. Anyway, I'm sure there are cases of this out there where you were insulted on a date, where someone came out and straight away said something that was insulting to you,

or maybe you've been the guy and put your foot in it and made some... Or girl. No, don't be ridiculous. Women are perfect. You don't think women make inappropriate jokes? Women are without flaw. Women are flawless.

Okay, right. Maybe you've gone on a date and insulted someone. We want to hear from you. Jeepers creepers. We were not expecting this, were we? No. We want to know if you've ever insulted someone on a date or you've been insulted on a date

because a guy pointed at a girl's insulin pump, which we realise are life-saving devices, but he made a joke saying he's had a built-in MP3 player. What is this, 2001? I thought it was funny. She did not. If it was 2001, it would have been a mini-disc player. Yeah.

True, this is true. Or 2006. By the way, I just looked up the review of the Samsung YP-K5 that I had from the Fugalicious video. It's seven and a half out of ten on CNET's review. How many songs could it store? Like a hundred? It had a five gig option.

Oh, okay. Yeah, dude. It had a five gig option. They had plenty of songs back in the day. Wow. But some of the messages we're getting in are really bad. I mean, of course these jokes didn't go well. Yeah. There are even a lot, I would of course these jokes didn't go well. Yeah.

There are even a lot, I would say a lot, that we cannot read on air. Yeah, I know. The choice of words is interesting. Yeah. Shall we say. A guy made an immature penis joke on a date. Yeah.

I laughed and said, no wonder you're a virgin, not knowing he actually was. Oh, no. Poor boy looks mortified. And I quickly remedied the situation. Remedied it? Yeah, she remedied it. Sorted it right out. Yeah.

Okay. Ticked that box. Yeah, cashed in the V-card. Wow. So that kind of did go okay then. That sort of did go all right. Yeah, yeah. But it insulted him momentarily.

I was on a date once. I'm telling him about myself And he came out and asked me if I was Welsh Because I sounded like one Like one Looked at the accent on YouTube Discovered it wasn't really a compliment Yeah the Welsh accent's very

It's sing-songy though My name is Lloyd Langford That's the only way I can say it It's comedian Lloyd Langford He is Welsh Hello I'm Lloyd Langford Yeah The only gay in the village my fan we Yeah yeah That's my little bit in Welsh way I can say it is comedian Lloyd Langford. He is Welsh. Hello, I'm Lloyd Langford. Yeah. The only gay in the village,

my fun way. Yeah, yeah. That's my little bit in Welsh. I'm the only gay in the village. I went on a first... Wait a minute. Yeah, some of these are so... I went on a first date

with a guy who told me I had a small mouth like Hitler. He then used his thumb and index finger to measure how big my mouth was. Oh, my God. There was no second date. Had to get a small mouth?

I didn't know he'd laid a small mouth. Small moustache. It's only the moustache you look at. Maybe because that's the thing. You look at the moustache, you don't notice the mouth. It's a small mouth. It's always downturned. Small mouth, one ball, silly moustache.

He's a tiny little mouth. He's got a tiny little mouth. Hitler's mouth. That's why he had such a narrow mustache. Yeah. Because he had narrow lips. He was taken away from his little mouth. Little tiny mouth.

I'm beginning to think, piece of shit. You're just clicking on that now, eh? My new boyfriend once said to me, you got a bit of shit on your leg there, and it was my birthmark. Oh. Also, don't ever point out if someone

has got a little bit of shit on their leg. Just let them have the shit on their leg. As a South African girl, I don't date South African men. Took a chance on one and he asked me if I knew how to iron clothes. I said, what? Once and he said, do you know how to iron? And I said, what? Again, do you know how to iron and I said what

again indicating it's time to retract he did not he asked me three times if I knew how to iron immediate wow okay

I mean it's good to know though do you know what I mean if you've got crinkly shirts I was on a date with a guy and he asked me if I did swimming I said no and he's like

do you do rowing no and he kept asking I knew he wasn't he was just asking me all the sports that lead to big shoulders. No, I'm just broad. Yeah. And then when I said no, and he said, you've got shoulders like a linebacker.

Just from one guy to another, that's probably. Yeah, that's probably. I love a strong woman. Oh, I love Jack's shoulders. Is this mostly men insulting women on dates? Yeah, where's the other side? Just dumb, naive men. I had clear lip balm on and some must have smudged on my lip

and the date asked me why I was sweating so profusely on the upper lip. He was also a doctor, so you think he might have just known a little bit better. I was on a date with a guy. He said all women were gold diggers and he hated children. I'm a woman with two children. The date lasted a grand total of 13 minutes. Oh God.

Oh, this is so awkward. There's some of these doing it a read ahead. Yeah. The first date the guy proceeded to tell me he didn't believe the moon landing happened. He asked my thoughts and I said, I do believe it had happened. He said, I don't see a future between us. Almost immediately. For the best. Do you remember there was a girl

who shared that when she's on a date, if it's going badly, she starts talking about conspiracy theories to shut it down quickly. And one of them she said was, one, the earth is flat and two was that the moon landing was staged. And you just slowly watch them be like, I've got to get out of here.

You've got to be careful doing that because if you're hot, it doesn't matter. Guys will still hang around. Yeah, I'll be like, oh, yeah, it was. So where are we going? Are we going back to your place or what? Yeah, let me take you to the fake moon. Yeah. I was on a date with a guy and he started telling me

how he couldn't imagine being part of the rat race like me. I was stuck in an office during the day. Oh. He was unemployed and I'm a lawyer who will definitely be working in the office for the rest of your life. Yeah. Really failed to read the room on that. He then went on to explain how cancer and sunscreen are fake.

Yeah. And how I really should be investing in crypto. Oh. And he mansplained how that worked. Yeah. Yeah. I like this. I picked up a guy for a date many years ago.

He got in my car and said he didn't like the radio announcers I was listening to. I instantly went off him. I was deeply insulted. That was our last date. That was Fletch and Vaughn. Wow. For the best. For the best, actually.

For the best. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You've been telling me for years, Fletch, that everybody loves us. Oh, hon. Are there people out there that don't? I just don't go online. I don't like you being unhappy. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Sometimes I tell you lies. Have you been deleting the negative comments about him? Yeah, because he doesn't handle feedback. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What negative comments? He doesn't handle negative feedback. You told me everybody loved us. There aren't any.

There's none. There's none. There's none negative comments. You told me that all the other radio announcers are just in this so people say bad things about them because they love us so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tell you things because you don't handle bad feedback. Sure. I'm going to go on just in this so people say bad things about them because they love us so much. Yeah, yeah, that's it. I tell you things because you don't

handle bad people. Sure. I'm going to go on living in this. Not a single person doesn't like you. Sure. Because they're always saying

how relaxing and lovely our voices are. No, they aren't. Look, someone just text we love you. Now it is in quotations but don't, you know, I'm sure it's genuine.

That might be one of the producer's numbers. Yeah. Oh, it is sure it's genuine. That might be one of the producer's numbers. Yeah. Oh, it is Carwen's number. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, mistake, guys. What have you done, my love?

What have you done? I've made a big fat boo-boo. Big fat boo-boo. It's TV week here at Fact of the Day. We're learning all about TVs. Most of it so far has been about the TVs themselves, but today's TV fact is about how much TV Americans watch collectively per year.

Oh. These are confronting numbers. Like when you finish a box set or an old show and it's seven seasons and then you're like, wow, that's like two days of my life. Yeah, yeah. Two whole days. I watched that.

So Americans watch 250 billion hours of television collectively a year. Okay, so let's- Say that again. 250 billion. Oh, dear. So that's 250 billion is 250,000 million in that sense of the billion. Yeah. So let's divide that by... Nah, that can't be right.

I miscalculated there. Let's say about 250 billion hours in years is 28.5 million years. That's so many. That's so many years. 28.5 million years. That's so many. That's so many years. 8.5 million years every year, collectively, Americans watch television. Shut up.

That's too much years. And there's 333 million Americans. Right. As of 2022, according to Google population. So they're watching a lot of television. Yeah. Way too much. Some would argue too much.

Too much television. That's so much. Yeah. I don't know how much you watch. Everything counts as television, by the way. Anything you would watch on a television. Like streaming. It's not traditional terrestrial television.

It's everything. Streaming. What I think we know in terms of what's happening in the TV landscape in New Zealand, really not many people are watching. Traditional terrestrial television. Free-to-air television. It's all the streaming. It's all the online.

We'll stop making it so good and we'll stop watching. We'll go out for a walk in a banana. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's so good. Yeah. What did you just watch? It was a short film.

Masters of the Year? Masters of the Year was fantastic. Now, you've watched something since then. I'm watching Succession. You're watching Succession. For the first time. I just started last night, Palm Royale. Fallout's out today on Prime Video.

We all just finished Curb. Curb's finished. Oh, it's so good. We've been, it's pretty, pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. But yeah, I would like to have known the stats, how it compares now to pre-gaming.

Because I imagine gaming has taken away a lot of television hours. Well, there are websites you can go to where you can put in all the shows that you've watched or want to watch. It will tell you how much of your time it's going to take. Yeah, I don't want to. It's confronting. It's very confronting. It is.

I don't watch at all. of your time it's going to take. Yeah, I don't want to. It's confronting. It's very confronting. It is. I don't watch it all. So today's fact of the day is Americans annually watch 250 billion hours of television. Collectively. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. So we're still going with the renovation. Still going. Still ticking along. But yesterday was an exciting day. Yeah.

Hallway. We're in the hallway and we're getting it wallpapered. And our wallpaper was there. I love the wallpaper. Oh my gosh. I won't say. Is that a trade that's kind of not as popular as it once was? I think so.

And also because in our bedroom we got the ceiling wallpapered. And that's quite an old. That's a ceiling paper. Yeah, that's no longer a wall. I suppose it would be a ceiling paper. Yeah, ceiling paper. Va And that's quite an old... That's a ceiling paper. That's a... Yeah, that's... I suppose it would be a ceiling paper. Yeah, ceiling paper. Vaughan's actually got you there. He does have me there.

What you've done is you've said wallpaper on the roof. You're cancelled. You've cancelled. Have I been cancelled? You've misidentified a wall as a ceiling. That's a big no-no. Of all things. Yeah.

I wouldn't have expected that. Huge no-no. But we, yeah, we were told, like, not a lot of people do that anymore. You've got to get the old guys. Now, I don't mean to call our guy Les an old guy. But, you know, the people that have been around for years, not the young. They know their stuff, don't they?

They know their stuff. You don't want a guy that does wallpaper and he's never done a roof before. And then he's like, how do I stick it up here? Yeah. With gravity working against you. Anyway, so the ceiling was done. It was time to move on to the hall with our like fun bush green birds wallpaper.

It's like some kind of tropical. I love it. It is a cool wallpaper. It'll take your breath away. Not for my house, but I'm glad you're doing it. I don't think anything in my house is for your house other than my liquor cabinet. Yeah.

Wow. Welcome. Anyway, so it's like this amazing wallpaper and the hall's like quite narrow, like small space. Everything, as a hall does, all the rooms come off of it. And I got home and I was looking at that and I was doing a bit of work, getting ready for a gig that night. And I felt the rumble of the jungle in my tumble.

I thought you were going to say a helicopter was about to land in your backyard. No, there was a helicopter churning through my stomach and making its way through the bowel, let's say. And I was like, ooh, we're really hanging outside the bathroom door. We're a one-bathroom house. Yeah. You know. Some would say you've just renovated.

You could have added another bathroom where your giant wardrobe is. Well, it's plumbed for the next sucker who wants to put in an ensuite, but I just wanted twice the size of the wardrobe. Yeah. Anyway, so there's only one toilet and I was like, well, I could probably hold on until they're done. And then

you know, our wallpaper, he's taking his time. He's trying to do a good job for us. And so I thought... Is he on the block? He's less from the block. That's pretty cool. When we got wallpaper, he's taking his time. He's trying to do a good job for us. Is he on the block? He's Les from the block. That's pretty cool. When we got him, he was recommended to us by a friend. And we came here and we said, oh, will you mind if we film a little bit?

Because we're filming all of our content for Resene and whatnot. And he said, it won't be my first time on the camera. Oh, my God. Tradies who have been on the block love telling you they've been on the block. And I said, why have you been filmed before? He said, I'm less from the block. Yeah. You might recognise me from the work I did on the block.

On the block. Whereas when I got tiles done ages ago for my bathroom, the tiler said, effing block. Everybody wants a tiled bath. I'm like, isn't that good? Like, then you're getting jobs yeah yeah so as a tiler

you don't want people tiling their bathrooms interesting yeah it was interesting I was like yeah maybe his jealousy wasn't on the block

on the block 100% all tradies want to be on the block anyway we've got Les from the block don't be fooled by the rocks that he got

yeah he's still he's still Les from the block does he like Lesy or does he prefer, he stole Liz from the block. Does he like Lizzie or does he prefer Liz? He doesn't go by Lizzie or his full name, Lesbian. He just goes by Liz. He says it gets confusing.

It shouldn't be that funny, but it's very funny. His full name's Lesbian. Is that short for Leslie? No. Surprisingly, Liz is short for Lesbian. Imagine if his full name was Lesbian. Is it short for Leslie? No. Surprisingly, Les is short for lesbian. Imagine if his full name was Brian. Les Brian.

Les Brian. Les Brown. Yeah. Les Brown. Oh my God. Anyway, Les from the block was in the hallway

and I honestly needed to poop so bad. And it was like, it was getting to a point. So, not to a point, it was coming to a point where I needed to do

something about it and I was like, just be bold. This is your house. You close that bathroom door and you poop in your own toilet. Was there music in the hallway? No music. And you can't just put music on and then go to the bathroom.

Because I'm clearly taking a poop. I thought this as well. And I was like, I could put the fan on in the bathroom and then we've got those speakers in the bathroom. Put those on. It's too obvious. So I literally said to Aaron, he saw me leaving and I was like,

hopefully he just doesn't say anything. Where are you off to? I was like, oh, for God's sake, shut your stupid mouth. I was like, I'm just popping down to the shops. He said, what for? I said, I'll just grab you guys some beers. No, I've got beers. My mate, shut it.

I was like, oh no, I just need to grab a couple of things. Kept poking the beer. Like, where are you going? Don't poke the beer. The beers are about to poke out. Beer's got a paw of things. Kept poking the beer. Like, where are you going? Don't poke the beer. The beer's about to poke out. Beer's got a paw hanging out. Anyway, so I just left and I got in my car

and I literally drove. There's like massive rugby clubs near our house and there's public toilets there. So you left your house to use a public toilet? Yeah, I had to. I had no other choice.

So I went to the public toilets, relieved myself, came back, empty-handed as well. And I had to tell Aaron. He was like, where did you go? I went for a poop. I don't want to poop in front of Les from the block. He'll tell all of his celebrity friends. He'll tell Mark Richardson.

He'll tell Peter Wolfkamp. Exactly. And how embarrassing. At their annual At their monthly We were on the block catch up Yeah That's right They do have it

They can hold it at my house Now that we've got less You never guess The dumps Hayley Sproul does No He won't say it He won't say it now Because I went down

To the public toilets And did it there Clean? Lovely public toilets Did you have to hover? Did it have a stainless steel bowl? I always hover. No, it's got a seat. Okay. They're well-kept toilets, but I hover. I always

hover. You gotta hover. You don't know what happens in those bathrooms. Great for the quads. Great for the quads. I had a free workout as well. Yeah, great for the quads. A hover poop is as good as a 30-minute Les Mills leg day. Is it? Yep. ZM's Fletchv Vaughan and Hayley.

Whoopsie. Vaughan's in trouble. I've just received a notification. Facebook systems flagged this comment to the group admins because it may violate community standards on harassment or bullying and it's undergoing further review. Okay. Yeah.

Let's put some context around this because yesterday, we're still in the renovation and all of this stuff. And yesterday Aaron was like, man, we're just like losing track of things. Like the cleaning, the upkeep of the house that is finished is getting away on us because of all the renos we're doing out the back. Everything's covered in dust. And it's just like, we just are so focused on getting it finished and i said like why don't we get someone in because a lot of people after they renovate they get a post renovation cleaner and they come and they

do like get rid of all the dust and they do everything yeah they get it all and they get it off all the tap where like all of our tap was brass if you leave dust on it it goes rusty and i was like oh i said yeah we could look to get someone to come in for like a couple of weeks while we're finishing off the back. Yeah. Never had a cleaner before. I would always clean my house beforehand. Oh, yeah, it's pretty fine. I'd be embarrassed.

I can see why people do it, though. Oh, it would be lovely. And then people clean for the cleaners. I don't get that. Yeah, I don't get it either. Oh, no, that's madness. Yeah. That's madness.

I need them to just come in and be like, can you sort that while we're painting out the back? I could get if people were, if they could afford it and they had a family and life was busy, it would be so great. That's us, we're sort of like... Oh yeah, because all your kids, eh? All the kids, the house is the kid.

So I was like, oh, I'll just go on the local community page, of which Vaughan is a part because we live very close. And I said, I'll just see if someone could come round and do a couple of cleans to like get us back on track. So I put a post being like looking for a short term cleaner for a couple of weeks to help us get on top of the house while we finish renovating.

Da da da da. Now I've had some responses and what not. I was like great people can come over and I can talk about what we might need. Vaughn apparently. I wrote you lazy bitch clean your own house. Not even really thinking of the fact that Thousands of other people Could see this

And obviously not Make the connection Between the fact that We know each other It's not our group chat Vaughn I know This is a public page And then I was gonna

Like send the post to Sade Being like ha ha ha But also worried Of the fact that She would being like, ha, ha, ha. Yeah. But also worried the fact that she would be like, if she gets someone good, maybe we could get a cleaner too. Oh. And I'll be poo-pooing that robot. She's got a robot vacuum cleaner.

Exactly. We've got a cleaner. His name's Robbie. Yeah. Robbie the robot vacuum cleaner. Great. And I was going to send it, but then I couldn't see my comment. I'm like, what?

And then I get the notification that I've been flagged for bullying and harassment on the local community page. I know. I still can't see. It's not on the page. It's not on the page. The comment's gone. It's been removed.

You could be banned from your community. I could get a shadow ban. You're going to have to start a new profile and join the page as someone else. Naughty. Because I always, I love, I never put anything on there. I never comment on anything. But I'll always like read the post, especially one where your talent's going to kick off.

Oh, there's so many of them. Like a genuinely innocent question that they don't know the answer to and people are like, you moron. And like there's this pile on, it's horrible. Yeah. But I'm always there for it. Yeah, same. I'm there for the drama.

Especially our way, This group chat pops off because it covers like a huge region. So it's quite broad. There's a lot of people in there. Did you see the post the other day? Somebody said someone came onto their property and went around. It looked like you. What?

Oh, I knew you didn't remember this. The meter reader. In the high-vis? Yeah. In the hat? High-vis, in the hat, and it says on the back, meter reader, but somebody's like, that's not the font that meter readers have on their thing, and their cars are always sign-written. So now there's this witch hunt

for this guy going around in a meter reader shirt. But does he look like Vaughn? Yes. I'm trying to find out. It was a blurry picture. A beard and a hat and a high-vis, and when I first saw it, I was like, ha-ha, Vaughn,

and then someone being like, this man entered my property, and I was like, Va ha, Vaughn. And then someone being like, this man entered my property. I was like, Vaughn, what are you doing? I would do it. The key to getting anywhere is a good high-vis.

Yeah. Yeah, you can literally just like stroll in anywhere. Well, that's no good if there's someone going around with a fake meter reader vest. Because they do. Meter readers just wander

into your property. Remember, I'm always like half nude and I'm always like, who? Yeah. You need a dog sign on your gate even though there's no dog because they won't come in if they think there's a dog. Oh. Yeah. You need a dog sign on your gate even though there's no dog

because they won't come in if they think there's a dog. Oh. Yeah. Just get a Uwe Boom out by your gate just playing a dog on loop. Well,

Rolly will get loped. The neighbours will love that. Here's the photo. Like, in some way that could be Vaughan. Oh my God, a meter reader

doesn't turn up in a bloody Honda Civic. No, they do. They turn up in like a Toyota, little Toyotas now because they're like,

they've got to be as economical as possible. But somebody did raise a good point. Generally, they've got some form of sign writing on them. Yeah.

Yeah. I love that. And then that turns into a witch hunt and half the people are like, don't be stupid, that's a meter reader

and the other half are like, you wouldn't know a meter reader. That could be a meter reader. You're going to get your house robbed. Karma will get you.

Oh my God. Community pages are feral. Just the worst. You know what? Maybe you getting banned isn't a bad thing. Yeah. Well you. Oh, my God. Community pages are feral. Just the worst. You know what? Maybe you getting banned isn't a bad thing. Yeah. Well, I'm not banned yet.

Your comment's not. Just being a cute little cheeky boy, are they? If you liked today's podcast, tell your friends you could send them the link. And if you don't have any friends, just pretend you did. Yeah, great. And rate and review. And maybe get out there and try to make some friends.