ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 11th December 2023

Episode Date: December 10, 2023

Car Tongs  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Signs you've got a 17yo Lawyer  Fletch & The Longdrop  Chris-Mass: Chris Parker!  Fletch's Sheets  Hayley's Carpet  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleachpawn and Hayley Big Pod. Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's. Great things are brewing. Good morning, welcome to the show Fleachpawn and Hayley. Ah! Bouncing around. Hayley's running on about what, three hours of sleep?

If you're lucky, if you're lucky, I reckon like two and a half I'm thriving It's the cat's fault We'll get into this later on the show I think it deserves a prime time mention We'll do it after eight o'clock I reckon She's tired I'm just going to be crazy I'm just going to be crazy

A couple of coffees Do you remember when she didn't drink coffee It was sort of a source of pride for me And now I'm a slave to the bean That would be crazy. A couple of coffees. Yeah, a couple. Do you remember when she didn't drink coffee? I remember it was sort of a source of pride for me, and now I'm a slave to the bean. Yes, you are. Coming up on the show, the top six. Yeah, a 17-year-old has become the youngest person to pass the Californian bar

and officially be recognised as a lawyer. That's insane. A barista. A barrister. A barrister, yeah. I was flicking the bean over here. Yeah, you were talking about my precious bean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a barrister. No, I've confused myself. A barrister. A barrister is a lawyer. But are all lawyers barristers? Or is that a special thing? No, you get admitted to the bar. And does that make you a leccato?

No. What's a solicitor? All lawyers are barristers, but not all lepardo? No. Is it all lawyers? What's a solicitor? All lawyers are barristers but not all barristers are lawyers? Is that the vibe? A barrister is a type of lawyer. A barrister is a lawyer with specialist knowledge of the rules of evidence and court

procedure. Ah. So not every lawyer is a barrister but every barrister is a lawyer. So you get property lawyers and whatnot. So they specialise in courtroom advocacy and litigation. Gotcha. So that's your lawyer. So they specialise in courtroom advocacy and litigation. Gotcha. So they argue cases in courts and tribunals. Blah, blah, blah.

That's what you imagine every lawyer is, but there's so many lawyers that are just, they read and they know the rules. Yeah, I guess so. But they don't go to court. Yeah. Interesting. Wow, there's a 17 year old Lawyer Yes In California

That is ridiculous And we'll deal with this In the top six Your lawyer is 17 You can't even drink In California Until you're 21 I just would not feel good

If he's been busy studying He might not have Ever had time To get a driver's licence You have to pick him up Take him to your own Court case He's gonna need a Uber.

A Uber. The Uber lawyer, like the Lincoln lawyer. Yeah. He'll become the Uber lawyer. It's got a good ring to it. Uber Uber. Next on the show, a woman has gone viral because of something she has in her car. And if I had a car, I think I would 100% add this to the glove box.

I like to keep my car quite streamlined. Oh, don't even. I like to keep my car just. You had the pleasure of being in Hayley's car at the weekend? Yep. Yeah, it's something, isn't it? This is what it is. Open the door.

Oh, Sproul. And I'm not often disappointed in people for their personal circumstances because I can understand. But I was like, oh. It's just getting worse. Well, I'll tell you what was in this woman's car. It's genius. Next. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

Well, a woman has gone viral. She shared this on TikTok. She has a pair of $2 Kmart tongs. I love those tongs. In her car. Yeah. Not the big barbecue tongs. Mini tongs. I love those tongs. In her car. Yeah. Not the like big barbecue tongs. Mini tongs.

I love mini tongs. And she uses them because sometimes she doesn't get close enough to like the ticket machine or the swipe machine. Oh, that's a great idea. She's not playing fast and loose. I like to get as close to scraping as possible. I know, same. I'm like.

But sometimes some of them are just so far away. I know the ones at the airport, you're always like out the window whenever I've been in someone's car, just out the window a little bit. Not all test the stick. Yes, they do. They've got the FPOS machine on the stick.

On the stick. And they reach it towards you and you're always like, well, thank you. So yeah, she'll, if she's got a swipe card to get into her building, she'll just put it on the tongs, beep, or grab a ticket

because it's got the... It's the tongs with the little silicon bits on the end. The grip. So a bit of grip if she's getting her tickets out. Yeah, that's good. It's brilliant. There's some that are like, our work one's not too bad because it's kind of low.

Yeah. But there's some that are always high and when you've got to push the thing or put the ticket in, you can't do it. This is great. I might add tongs to my car collection. And you just put them in the door, in the hole. I reckon there's already tongs in your car. I reckon at a pinch you'd find a pair of tongs.

Yeah, or the raccoon that's living in your boot might have already collected a pair of tongs. There's something in there. Is it on your list of to-do things, clean your car? I'm picking up my brother from the airport on Saturday with his partner and they'll have luggage Where's it going? Oh yeah, you're going to have to

I saw Aaron's ute In the ute yesterday The ute's not clean It's terrible But better than your car I think Just Because he's got the tray Yeah, he's got the tray

He can put things in the tray Even producer Jarrett got into the back of my car Over the weekend And he's a slight fellow And I had to do like You know when you go like that and like scoop everything to the side, to the edge. And it was a bit manky, eh, JP?

Yeah, it was a bit grim and there was a pong. Yeah, there's a pong. Yeah, there's a pong. And then the cold power, you know, the cold water surf powder, whatever it is, it's not overriding the pong anymore, is it? No, I know. I know. It was sort of saving me for a bit.

Yeah, the laundry powder was doing a lot of the heavy lifting, but even that's been neutralised, and that says something. There's a pair of florally nicks in the back, and I was like, God, I hope Jarrah doesn't see this, because I'm unsure whether they're clean. I don't know. It's pretty grim. It is grim.

Why didn't you do it this week? You know when people get into your car and go, oh, Hayley. Oh, Hayley. Oh, Hayley. They're not angry. They're just disappointed. Yeah, just, I don't want to. I don't want to get in here.

No, maybe this week. I think you should park the car beside the skip room at work and just clean it out straight into the car. I even hope someone takes it out with the rubbish. It's not that it's full of rubbish. No, but there is. There's rubbish. There is because I,

when we went to the work Christmas party and Hayley gave me the ride, we got there, I said, oh, and I pulled the tags off the chairs I took and I was like,

oh, and I was looking around for a bin. She's like, give them here. She took them out of my hand and just tossed them in her car.

So we're playing like we are treating it like a bin. But then when she opened the boot to put the chairs in and she was just like just push them in.

Yeah. I saw like a leather jacket. There is. Yeah. There's money in there. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? There's a few expensive items.

There's lost jewellery. Mixing with chairs. Yeah. There's a ring that may have one or two diamonds. Gone. God knows. Jeez.

Anyway, look, it's on the to-do. Okay. Next on the show, a Christmas trend is making a return, and I actually can't believe this. With your Christmas tree up and not decorated? Fluffed. Yeah.

And ready to decorate. There is a Christmas tree trend back, and I'm not sure if I can get on board. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. I have to go back in time and see where Olivia Rodrigo started and where she is now. That's where it all began for her. Yeah, it is.

I'm so proud of her. She is still only 20. We're talking about her like she's announced her retirement. I know, but that song's like two years old, and it's a great song. But now she's got this rocky, I'm just loving it. I know, but that song's like two years old, and it's a great song. But now she's got this rocky, I'm just loving it. I'm loving Olivia. Now, okay, I put up my Christmas tree.

I'm literally going to edit a video of me erecting the tree. A time lapse? A time lapse of sorts, because remember, it was a hot point of contention even buying the tree. Yep. I haven't sold anything, which was the deal of buying the tree

to sell $300 worth of stuff. Haven't done it. Considering a garage sale. No. I don't know. There's lots there. And then I hadn't told Aaron that it was actually eight foot, not six. So yesterday I was putting it up sort of quickly.

Question. If you have a garage sale, can I come over and do, can we get one of those price guns? And I'll, and then put a sticker on every thing. Because how cool would that be? That's pretty retro. I'd love that, actually. Where do you get those from?

But then you should have to buy more stuff to sell things. Yeah, but that's a cool thing to own. You'll never use it again. I would use a price sticker gun every day. Imagine the fun you could have at parties. Yeah. Imagine going to people's houses and be like like I like that. I'll buy it. I'll just do that.

I'll come into your house and be like. I'd get a holster for my sticker gun. You go over somewhere and you're like spinning it around. People would be like do you have a carry permit for that? I'd be like it's a price sticker gun. Chick chick and you're free baby. I love it.

Well I put the tree up and didn't, haven't sold anything, but it's up, but I didn't decorate it because we couldn't, I don't know where the fairy lights are. Okay. And I simply will get in so much trouble if I go buy new fairy lights, knowing we've got fairy lights.

So it's sitting there and I'm really excited. I'm going to try to decorate it today. But I sort of went, remember I'm going birds and flowers. That's the thing. I was thinking classy because I'm trying to create a classy home. I need not have bothered because apparently one of the tackiest Christmas decorations

is back in fashion, tinsel. And in particular- Isn't it really bad for the environment? The stringy tinsel. Oh, okay. Kind of 40s, 50s vibe. Yeah, okay. Retro. 40s, 50s vibe. Yeah, okay. Retro.

Now this is so my vibe. This over the top tacky, black coloured. It's not like a tinsel string. It's like a long flowy. Weaves of tinsel. Are they meant to look like icicles? I think so. Is that the idea?

They're meant to look like icicles. Well, they do in that service, don't they? But all these like vintage vibes are coming back where people just go like, it's got to be like pink, red, green, blue and all this tinsel. Right. Now, I thought we said tinsel was tacky.

What about the tinsel strings? Yeah, because we've got some in the producer's booth and my God, it's tacky. I'm going to say it, guys. I look out there and I just think that's sad they didn't decorate that they don't need to feel bad about that

it was thrust upon them yeah but that kind of tinsel fluffy tinsel you're not a fan isn't it like that's like traditional do you put tinsel

on your tree do your family your parents put up a tree there's tinsel but they're older does Bev have a real tree or a fake tree? She's got invested in a fake tree.

I actually decorated it the weekend and put tinsel. Did you? I had all the boxes out. Wait, so you're trying to say mum's put tinsel on the tree. You put tinsel on mum's tree. She was like, here are the decorations. You put them up. Oh, that's so cute.

And there was a lot of mismatch. Like, it's just decorations from all over the years. Well, that's the vibe. That's the trend at the moment now is eclectic. Chuck them all on, yeah. And I've curated some bloody poncy bows and flowers and birds tree. Now I want to go like full tacky. Full tacky.

Do you think Aaron will forgive me if I'd got new decorations? No, you can't. You can't do that. Well, this year it's flowers and birds. So you're finding time to decorate your tree this week, but you don't have time, this year it's flowers and birds. You're finding time to decorate your tree this week, but you don't have time to clean your car? I have priorities. The car cleaning is a

timeless task. Right. It's the 11th of December and my tree's not up. What's even the point of having a tree? I would almost say you've come too close to Christmas. I wouldn't put it up. I know, I know. But it's up. Because, you know, this is the first year since I've had kids they haven't had advent calendars.

We just kind of forgot. Because they haven't said anything. And they're just like, oh, okay. You can't start now. I know, but if you bought it now, they'd just gobble up 11 chocolates. Yeah, because I received an advent calendar last week and I just opened all of it because I was like, you know, I'm so behind. Yeah.

But last week you weren't so far behind. I think now we've ticked over the point of almost halfway. No, I was so behind. It was like day three. Was he open all of them? I just had to open them all. Oh, well, I'm not going to read it. I did notice that you got sent that quite a rad idea for an advent calendar.

Was it rubs and... Rubs and sauces and herbs and spices. Yeah, it was a great idea. Yeah, and I just opened them all. And then, yeah, she just, I was like, oh, well, completely just. Greedy. Yeah. Play it.

CDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Today's silly little pole. Thank you. Thank you to my trackpad for deciding to click. Oh, God, I thought you were trying to do that touch screen. You know when people go on their laptop and they start tapping at the screen? You're like, it's not touch screen, horn. Oh, horn.

Aaron does it. He tries to pinch. Oh, pinch that open. And you're like, nope. Which way do you mainly face in the shower? Do you face towards the water or away from the water? I feel like we should have had a third option for both because I feel like I'm both. Yeah, but mainly.

Which way is your frame? Mainly forwards. Forwards. Mainly forwards. Right. Yeah. Aaron, mainly. Which way is your frame? Mainly forwards. Mainly forwards. Right. Yeah. Aaron's mainly backwards. Yeah, I thought I was mainly forwards but then I broke it down. I was like, I'll get in. I'll start with a straight in the face

and then I'll turn around and I'll do all my washing my bits and my pits facing away. So that the water doesn't run the soap off while you're rubbing it in. And then turn around and then spin back around

and brush my teeth facing away from the... Yeah, no, I do most of it for it, but I don't always want my hair to get wet. Yes. Do you know what I mean? So you're always like that. Whereas when you're back, it's harder to not get the hair wet.

Well, 54% of people... Does it avoid... Sorry, I should have approached the trigger warning. Could you just... Sorry, I know. I should have trigger warned you. Trigger warning here. Trigger warning here.

I don't like facing the back because my hair gets wet. See, that was fine because I saw that coming. Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. Thank you. Which way do you mainly face in the shower? Towards the water, 54%. Away from the water, 46%. Wow, that's really split, isn't it? Yeah. Tara screaming in caps says,

are you kidding me? Do I not know how to shower? Aren't you drowning? But I don't know what she voted for. She must be... No, she would say she wouldn't want to face it because she's drowning. Yeah, she's facing away from it. Maybe nobody's taught her how to hold her breath.

Yeah. Or how to, like, move her neck. And if it's coming from a high angle and it's hitting her in the face, it'll just generally run off. Yeah. She doesn't have to suck it up. You've got to tilt the thing.

Yeah. Someone's got to talk to her about tilting the face. She's got to tilt the thing away from the face. She's totally stuffed up showering, I assume, her whole life. Yeah. This week's going to be a different week for her. Yeah. Yeah.

She's not going to be face down on the shower floor. Yeah. Struggling to breathe. Chris said, sure, I would like to see the gender breakdown because surely women face the stream to stop their hair getting wet and men stand with their back to it. Yeah. Not worrying about it as much. No way people are facing directly into the water.

How can you? How are you breathing? I would drown if I faced the water. Maybe we need to run some kind of tutorial. You just have the thing tilted down slightly towards the chest and then you move your head. And then I've got a rain shower. So that comes straight down. Yeah.

But it's fine. It just runs off your face. You can still breathe. Yeah. And then you just move your head slightly. The neck is a wonderful thing. It goes side to side. It goes up and down.

It goes back and forth. You know what would rule so much more if your neck was a ball joint? Like your shoulder and your hip. Yeah. It would just constantly run. I suppose it almost is. Yeah, but it's just a series of... Towards with my neck arched painfully backwards

so as to not get water in my face all the time, says Ran. Courtney, what kind of psychopath faces away from the water? I bet it's men. I bet it's men. Men also tilt their heads down to let the shampoo run into their eyes like psychopaths.

She's really coming for men today, our Courtney. Okay. She woke up. She chose violence. Yeah. Away from the water until I need to wash my face.

If you stand facing the water in the shower, you're a monster, says Owen. Wow. It depends on how rough the day's been, says Holly.

I'd like to reach out to Holly, make sure she's okay. Lean against the wall. Yeah, because you face it and then you tilt your head down and just let the water cascade down your face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when you've had a bad day. I had a bad day. I burned a brown barrel.

I need to do the show. And I put it on my face and it runs down my face. And I can't breathe because my neck doesn't work. And hot water's in my eyes. And it feels like the dry, but it's just hot water. It's what it does to the eye. I need the water hitting me in the face in the morning to wake me up, says Samantha. Yep, good.

Kathy, unless I want a back massage, I'll face the water. What the hell? What, have you got fire hoses in there? Yeah, the massage. I'll face the water. What the hell? What have you got? Fire hoses in there? Massage. My niece says I rotate like a rotisserie chalk. Oh, yeah. Same. I'm a bit of a rotisserie chalk.

Yeah, you are a bit of a rotisserie chalk. Big. I'm a honey soy bachelor's handbag just turning around, getting basted. With couscous stuffing. Thank you. Yeah. You're that one. You're a fancy one. Thank you for saying that basted. With couscous stuffing. Thank you. Yeah. You're that one. You're a fancy one.

Thank you for saying that I'd have a posh stuffing. Yeah, he's got couscous stuffing. Whereas Vaughn would just be... He's got a log, that breaded log. Yeah, I'm happy to be a breaded log, sage and herb stuffing. No, it's the people stuffing. No one likes couscous stuffing. No, I just guard the couscous.

I prefer couscous stuffing. Absolutely not. I like my couscous. Absolutely not. No couscous. I like the couscous. Couscous. Couscous. Absolutely not. I like my couscous. Absolutely not. No couscous. I like my couscous. I don't need my couscous up the anus of a chicken. I don't like couscous.

It's the worst. Couscous. It's the worst carbohydrate known. No. I'd say I'd seldom eat it, but when I do, I'm like, this is great. No, it's dry and it's yuck. No, not when it's in the ass of a roast chicken. You've got the roast chicken juices running through the couscous.

No, no, no. Sage and Herb bread stuffing. It's the best way to eat a couscous. No, couscous is something else. No, no, no. Chicken juice couscous. Yuck. Couscous.

You're playing forest and leaves with your coos coos. The normal stuffing is so dry and yuck. And it's just a matted log. It's like a dreadlock of bread. But if you cooked the coos coos stuffing for as long as that stuffing takes to get dry, it would also be dry because it's dry by nature. No, the coos coos is no. Coos coos is dry by nature.

It absorbs the moisture. The couscous. Yuck. Chicken juice couscous. You know that it's just leftover deli rolls they can't sell, but they chuck in a chicken anus. Absolutely no problem with it. They thumb it into the anus and call it stuffing.

Those new bags that are moist and keep in all the moisture. I assume they cook them in the bachelor's movie. I had one last night and there was a log of absolutely inedible. Well, dip in all the moisture. I assume they cook them in the bachelor's movie. Yeah, I had one last night, and there was a log of absolute inedible... Well, dip it in the juice. You need some couscous. No, couscous is yuck. That should be tomorrow's silly little poll. Someone just messaged saying,

couscous is so nasty, they named it twice. So, okay, there was a woman in China and she went out to lunch with a friend and they had a really nice meal and then she went to pay the bill and it was in New Zealand dollars, $100,000. Okay, that's overpriced. That's got to be one hell of a stake. What would you pay $100,000 for?

Nothing. There's nothing. Nothing edible. Timeshare? I don't know how much timeshare is cost. Yeah, investments in companies. Food-wise, I can't imagine. No.

There's not even a drink that would, no. But maybe if it was a billionaire, it would. Anyway, she was like, what the hell happened? And then she worked out that when the food came out, she'd taken a photo of it and uploaded it to DeGram. Yeah. And in that photo was a QR code, which is the ordering code for her table.

Now, sometimes in New Zealand, like we've got one, like Mr. Tom or whatever, and you have to put a card on it so you would be paying for it. But if someone else uses it, they recognise it's a different device and then they'd have to pay for it. But this is simply putting through orders

and then you pay at the end. Because at some bars and restaurants, that happens, eh? Like it just runs it up. Yeah. This just ran it up and then she got there and it was $100,000

and she was like, what the hell? So the people on social media had added 2,580 orders of squid, 1,850 orders of duck blood. Where was it going, though? Was the kitchen preparing it? Because it never arrived at her table, right?

Well, I don't know. Because surely the restaurant would be like, okay, something's happening here. We don't have this much squid. Yeah. Or we're getting a foul. This is an insane amount of orders. You might do the first couple, but then you're like, oh, yeah. So they got to it.

I think the kitchen came through with the receipt and was like, hey, this isn't what you've ordered. And then they moved their table. Right. They moved it and then let her off paying the bill because they didn't make the food. I mean, imagine if you were like, okay, we've got an order up. We've got one of the beef burgers, a margarita pizza,

and 2,586 orders of duck blood. Let's go. You're not going to make it, are you? No. No. I had duck blood for the first time. What? Yeah.

How do you eat it? It's like a jelly. Yuck. Ew, yuck. That's yuck. Yeah. What did it taste like? Me too.

No, it didn't taste like blood. It just tasted like a savoury jelly. Why don't you just get a raspberry jelly like everyone else? Get lime or something. Yeah, lime. Get a lime jelly like everyone else. Or do a mix. You're in a hot pot sitting around.

Everyone's just going crazy. It's a hot pot. Excuse me, do you have any raspberry jelly? I don't think that's a raspberry jelly in a hot pot. I'll ask for raspberry jelly at any restaurant, no matter how fine or what the theme is of it. I'll ask for raspberry jelly at any restaurant no matter how fine or what the theme is of it. I'm always,

I'll go to a fancy Japanese and be like, I'll finish with the raspberry jelly, please. Play. ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. A 17-year-old has become the youngest to pass California's bar exam. This is the one that Kim Kardashian failed twice. For a year. What, is she still lawyering? Is she still? No, she passed it eventually.

Oh, so now she is just a lawyer. Yeah. Is this like the last thing you do? I think so. I've been catching up on the latest season, which is probably like six months behind, and she had one last thing to do? I think so. I've been catching up on the latest season, which is probably like six months behind, and she had one last thing to do, and that was it. Well, this 17-year-old sat the exam in July,

and he just learned that he'd passed. Oh, okay. Yeah, so he was 17 when he passed. He is now 18. He's become a law clerk for the district attorney's office. A law clerk? Yeah. He started high school at 13

and graduated from law school earlier this year. His name's Peter Park. Almost Peter Parker. Almost crazy. That is insane. Yeah, wild, eh? Smart. How?

So smart. And today's top six might seem like someone in their 40s who's jealous of an overachieving 17-year-old and that would be exactly the point that I'm coming from. Yeah. Why not? Top six signs your lawyer is 17 years old. Number six on the list,

they have to edit and upload their Get Ready With Me before court can start. Of course. Let's plan an outfit. GRWM. Yar. I'm just filming a Get Ready With Me. Gruma.

Gruma. Number five on the list of the top six signs your lawyer is 17 years old, their mum had to drop them off at court get ready with me. Grumma. Grumma. Number five on the list of the top six signs your lawyer is 17 years old their mum had to drop them off at court because they can't drive yet. No. Probably not.

No. Number four on the list of the top six signs your lawyer is 17 years old they're working from home today because they're not vibing the workplace. There's no vibe.

There's no vibe. I think they did pop in last week for a vibe check. They gave a quick vibe check and they could feel that the vibe was on's no vibe. I think they did pop in last week for a vibe check. They gave a quick vibe check and they could feel that the vibe was on a downward trajectory. So they're going to be back in office when the vibes changed. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six signs your lawyer is 17 years old.

They're wearing a Nirvana t-shirt and calling it classic rock. Oh, ow. And then you say, name me one Nirvana album and they're like, oh, I just love them all. Like, for me, the greatest hits,

like, really like, Common Aids. All their best songs. Unplugged. Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, no, Unplugged was an actual answer. Yeah.

And it was a great album because it kind of was a best of, but it was also acoustic. I know. We can get into it. Number two on the list of the top six songs, Your Lawyer is 17 Years Old. They've got a best-of, but it was also a coos. I know. We can get into it. Number two on the list of the top six signs your lawyer is 17 years old. They've got a podcast.

Oh, yeah. It's just them and their friends. Yeah, they do. And number one on the list of the top six signs your lawyer is 17 years old. Their cross-examination and statement in court is mostly acronyms and words you don't understand. For example, FAM, T TNTL at the prosecution's cringe approach, FR.

IYK or YK, it's a W for us. The salty because we're so dank. No cap. But yikes, judge. The simp and the L. Period. What just happened? Just waving to the Gen Z's. We know, we know, we know.

Basically saying fam, people here, TNTL trying not to laugh at the prosecution's cringe approach, FR is for real If you know, you know IYKYK, it's a W for us, it's a win for us They're salty, angry

because we're so dank, great No cap, truth Big y're salty, angry, because we're so dank. Great. No cap. Truth. Big yikes judge. Kind of like putting on the judgment, like, this is cringy. You obviously know what to do. They're simping the L.

They would love to lose. Period. I'm impressed, actually. Period. Period. Good from you. Yeah. Really good. Thanks, everybody.

Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Good from you. Yeah. Really good. Thanks, everybody. So the list of the most Googled things for New Zealanders in 2023 has been released. Love these lists. I'll tell you what, snubbed. Who? Us. Why? Us individually, snubbed.

We haven't been Googled. We're not on this list. Of course we've been Googled. It's a good list. You don't want to be on the list. Why would you want to be on this list. Of course we're not. It's a good list. You don't want to be on the list. Why would you want to be on the list? People are Googling you to take you down a peg. All the attention and all the awards, don't you?

What New Zealanders were Googled? As the New Zealanders on there. Dai Henwood probably being like, how's he going? Yeah, how's guys' health? He is going well. He's going well. Okay, 2023. Okay, the most Googled things. He's going well. Okay, 2023, we are, okay, the most Googled things.

It's the rugby. Okay. Boo, boring. FIFA Women's World Cup. Yep. That was exciting. Was Googled a lot. Was that this year?

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Jake Paul versus Tommy Fury. That was a boxing fight, wasn't it? Yeah. Into Miami, Wrexham and Manchester City. Are these the sports categories? Feels like this is sports.

Yeah. It's football, isn't it? Do you know? What list are you reading? Oh, that's Beckham. I'm reading that it's from the Herald. I like we're there for your first time. You're learning, you know, at the same time.

Yeah. No, it's not in order. It's just the terms. It's not gone like the most. But where are you reading this? On the NZ Herald. Well, there must have been a Google press release. Oh, you want to go straight to the source?

I want all the lists. I don't want some faffy. No, look, it's giving me the sports and then you move to the people. Okay, who are the most Googled people? Lydia Ko, Israel Adesanya, and Dai Henwood. Is Dai Henwood number one? I don't know if they even put it into the... I've got the top

Google searches for 2023. Number 10, submarine missing. This is in New Zealand. Number 9, Auckland shooting. Hang on. Number eight, this is why I will, I've said it once and I'll say it again. Women should not

be in broadcasting. He does say that every day I come in here. He's like, what are you doing here, woman? I'm always like, I'm here to entertain people.

He's like, you shouldn't be here. I don't know who's living after your children. I was trying to use our trusted news source, NZ Me's NZ Hero.

Well, I'm just going straight to the source. Eight, war in Israel and Gaza. Seven, Jacinda Ardern. She retired at the start of this year, didn't she? Was that the start? Oh my God, so much has happened.

Number six, Auckland flooding. Yep. Number five, Auckland airport. Oh, yep. Number... Do you remember when all of the luggage carousels were like underwater?

That's right. That was wild. It was sopping wet. Yeah. Absolutely. The carpets must have been ruined. I was thinking. Number four, census 2023.

Number three, election results. Number two, Matthew Perry. Oh, okay. People Googling, I guess, what's happened to see if it was real and then constantly doing that Google to see if there'd been any updates. And number one, Cyclone Gabriel. Yeah, but what you're missing out by just doing this brief compiled list is the nuances of the categories that NZ Herald, my chosen news source,

have put it into. Because what are the celebrities? Margot Robbie, Harry Styles, Ed Sheeran, Elton John, and Taylor Swift. No surprises there. What are the movies we Google? Oppenheimer and Barbie. Avatar sequel. And everything, everywhere, all at once.

That's right. That movie. I still haven't seen that. It's good. It's really good. Really weird. A lot of chicken and quiche recipes for Coronation Chicken and the Coronation Quiche.

Missing Titan Submarine, that was a lot. In the terms of recipes, the category, see, isn't this delightful that I'm branching out of just a boring top ten. Cookie, scone, afghan, icing and mud cake. We are getting a lot more variation here, Vaughan. And then Yorkshire pudding, focaccia,

coronation quiche, coronation chicken and teriyaki sauce. Oh, delicious. Or our recipes Googled. I just forget so much of what's happened this year. Are you still going to do a Hayley's version at the end of this week of everything that's happened? I've got to say, everyone's doing those wrap-up videos

that I did last year and it's just, you know what I mean? Like we should have been there, done that. I did that in 2022, and then Fall Out Boy was like, we've got an idea! I was like, I had that idea, Fall Out Boy. Pete winks. Yeah, I would have thought Billy Joel had it first, though, didn't he? Yeah, Billy Joel wrote the original song, and then I came in,

and I made it funny. Man, beating you to the punch again? What am I even doing here? I shouldn't be here. I should be sewing socks. Yeah. I should be darning your socks and your handkerchiefs. Are your husband's socks absolutely pristine?

If not, get to darning. I'm going to head off, guys. I'm going to go darning. Okay. Well, you're about to tell us what you got up to in New Plymouth for the weekend. Yep. Looked beautiful.

For the family Christmas. Yeah, it did, yeah. How much time did you actually spend with your family? You hiked a mountain and then yesterday morning you were at the airport at like 7am after a swim. Yeah. No, I was at the airport at 8am. Oh, forgive me. Forgive me.

Can you apologise please for that? Swim in the morning. Huge misinformation drop there Because I've just received a message from your lovely mother Bev, good morning Vaughn Has Carl shared the leftover Turkish delight with you yet? And I said interesting I'm hearing of it Bev

So there was a container of You know like actual Turkish delight? Yeah from actual turkey Well I think it was from a Turkish shop Somewhere mum was like hell. Yeah, the powdery jelly gelatinous stuff. Yum! I just chucked it in my suitcase, but the lid came off. What, raw dog? You just bit it in there?

Not even that way. It wasn't even raw dog, it was like in between things. So I was like, it'll be fine there. And then so I opened up my suitcase and there is this white powder everywhere. I look like a narco trafficker. Oh gosh. And so I had to pick out the pieces of Turkish Delight out of my clothes and eat them because they were raw dog.

You didn't have to, did he, though? He didn't have to. I did, yeah. You could have rinsed it out and then re-icing sugared it. Re-rinsed it. What a prick. I love Turkish Delight. I know.

Next time. Is there a Turkish shop in New Plummet? No, I think they were in Hamilton when they found it. Yeah. I know exactly the spot. Yeah, that'll be it. I know No, I think they were in Hamilton when they found it. Yeah. I know exactly the spot. Yeah, that'll be it. I know exactly the spot because they were up there to the hospital, weren't they? Yeah, they were, yeah.

On the corner there by the hospital. Right. Amazing. Okay, well, get your own next time then. That survived the test of time. Yeah, get your own next time. I might when I'm driving through Hamilton next. And yeah, I still don't have any in this story.

I'll bring you some Vaughn will bring you some In the next story Well there you go babe That's what happened to it Yeah thank you Thank you though Was it your mum's

Shoddy container Did she give you A second tier container No it was the actual Container that it came in Oh yeah I can imagine it For suitcase travel

You're a damn fool Was it dome topped I should have bagged it Was it dome topped Or was it like sushi tray What What kind of container I was in just a plastic Container Sushi tray Yeah Was it dome topped? I should have bagged it. Was it dome topped? Or was it like sushi tray? What? What kind of container did they give it? I was in just a plastic container.

Sushi tray. Yeah. No, not a sushi tray. A tie takeaway. A tie takeaway. A round cup size. Dome to top? What, like a coleslaw?

Coleslaw at the supermarket. It's no dome top. Flat? I know what you're meaning, but it's not one of those. Ridged outside? Ridged down? No. Dome top?

No. Hard seal? Like a coleslaw at the supermarket? Like a coleslaw at the supermarket container. No, but it's not one of those. Ridged outside? No. Ridged on top? No. Hard seal? Like a coleslaw at the supermarket? Like a coleslaw at the supermarket container. No, because that's cardboard. What the hell is it doing in there? No, it's not cardboard. Some of them are still doing plastic.

You're spending too much time on the container here. No, no, no, no, no. It's pivotal to the story. If you're to blame or if the container's to blame. I think it's 50-50, to be honest. But what I wanted to mention, to talk about, is I went for a hike up the beautiful Mount Tataraki. It looked gorgeous.

Yeah, I had the best luck with the weather. That's so great. You were above the damn clouds. I was above the clouds, yeah. I woke up at 3.30, had breakfast, and I hooned up the mountain. You didn't have to do that, actually. I was back home at like 10 a.m. Everyone's like, well, so you went home for family Christmas.

I did. I was back home when everyone was starting.m. Everyone's like, well, so you went home for family Christmas. I did. I was back home when everyone was starting their day. Oh, that's good. So anyway, I got up. I had breakfast because it's very important before you go on a hike, you want to poo at home. No, yes, you want to have breakfast, but you want to poo. In case you get lost and you don't want to have an empty tummy as well.

Yeah, that too. You need the energy. And then also when I parked up before my walk, there was a toilet. I was like, I'll just go again because you don't want to be using long drops. You need the ablutions gone. You don't want to be using a long drop.

But also when I run or walk for long times, it shanks poops out of me. Does it? That was why I'm not a runner because I'm like, and literally my bowels are like, oh yeah, that's what it does. Coffee early, poops out of the way.

I start this hike. I get up to the hut. It's beautiful. It's a blue sky above the clouds. Just insane views, 2,000 metres above the ground. On Mount Taranaki, I'm on that little sticky out bit that is the only thing that's stopping it being a perfect Mount Fuji. That bit. Phantom's Peak, it's called.

There's a little hut, you can stay there. So I'm in there, I'm like, I'm having a little coffee. I know, I saw it, it looks cute.

I had some snacks. Anyone else? Anyone else there? A few people had stayed the night and a few people had come up as well for a day hike as well. What did you chat about? I didn't really chat.

They just left as I got there. So I was like, hey, bye, have fun. Good yarns. And so I'm packing up. A convers just left as I got there. So I was like, hey, bye, have fun. Good yarns. And so I'm packing up. A conversationalist at heart.

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, wow. I don't know. They were French. Popping off connections, mate. No, they were French.

I felt like that. Rabbit warrior. You didn't even say bonjour. Also, I said hello because I always say hello to everyone on a hike. I'm like, hello. This one guy absolutely snobbed me. I hate that. Like, I that like i was like on a mountain yeah at least just be like give a grunt he didn't look happy walking uphill anyway so i

decided i was going to come down and then i was like i need to go for a wee and i was like there is a long drop now 2 000 meters this is on a like a rocky mountain flat there's the hut and then behind it is a concrete pipe that they've put up. Right. With a door on front of it. And it is a long drop. You can literally see the pile of poo and paper and weed down there. A metre down.

Oh. So it's just like a culvert pipe put in vertically. Yes. It's a drain, like a drain pipe. How do they empty it? There's a door. They don't. They move it.

The mountain does. The mountain does. The mountain does. You just cover it up with rocks and put it somewhere else. Oh, no. I mean, they might dig it. I don't know. Not our job.

Anyway, I was like, hold my breath, put my T-shirt over my nose, open the door, and there's a couple of blowflies. And I was like, whoa. There's always a couple of them.

And they're the biggest, the juiciest blowflies. They are the fattest blowflies. Full of shit. Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm like holding whoa. There's always a couple of them. And they're the biggest, juiciest blowflies. They are the fattest blowflies. Full of shit. Yeah. And so I'm like holding my, with one hand, I've got my T-shirt over my nose. And then I'm like zipping down my pants.

Yeah. And then I get my, yeah, I get the willy out. Yeah. And then I'm like, okay. And I'm like, okay, wheeze time. And then I like start going wheeze down. And you can kind of try not to look, but it goes down the pipe and then you hear it hit.

Yeah. And then at that point point that is when I would say about 1000 blowflies went NO! Yeah like in Batman when he disturbs the bats in the cave and I was just like and then I was just like still pissing on myself trying to stop

pull my pants up I stopped mid-weez Just got out of the door And these blow flies are everywhere Like hundreds and hundreds of them Were you wearing sweat wicking sort of absorbent material Yeah I was And then so I get out and I'm just like

And thankfully everyone else had left the hut And so I was like oh I'm just going for a wee behind the toilet No one can see me Yeah of course I would have taken almost a wee behind the toilet. No one can see me. That is your privilege. I would have taken almost a space invader's approach to that. Disturbing of the flies when they started flying around. I just would have been wildly weeing in every direction I could.

There were so many of them. They must have all been down there. Yeah. Just like sitting. Because it was quite early. I'd say this would have been like 7 o'clock in the morning. I don't know if anyone had used the toilet. So I'd kind of disturbed their sleep, I think.

That's awful. I don't even want to use the long drop every day. I didn't know if I'd sat down. Straight up your anus. Straight up the bum. No, thanks. Yeah. I don't want to put people off our great outdoors.

Oh, no, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. That's why I just wee outside. Yeah, I know. It's kind of frowned upon, though, isn't it? Yeah. I'll poo in a long drop. Very quickly.

Yeah, but okay, so if you do that in the future, I'd just sprinkle some water down and just give it 10 minutes. Oh, that's upsetting. It's grim, eh? Now, we've got an introduction. It's great, mate. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Now, we've got an introduction. Play the beat. We've got an intro made.

Last Christmas, I gave you my Chris. But the very next Chris, you Chris me a Chris. This Chris, to save me from Chris. I Chris you a Chris Chris, Chris, Chris Love it! Does that even make sense? Shout out to Jared and Sam for the production

And shout out to Sproul for the vocals I think it makes perfect sense Last Christmas I gave you a Chris But the very next Chris you Chris me a Chris This Chris to save you from Chris Chris you a Chris, Chris, Chris So every day we must me a Chris. This Chris to save you from Chris. Oh, Chris you a Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. So every day we must get a Chris on the show.

We must amass, amass of Chris's for Christmas. And today we welcome in Chris Parker. Good morning. Ho, ho, ho. Oh no. Merry Christmas. There he is. That's just true. Do you know what?

Because I've mentioned this many times before. I don't know if it's my favourite tidbit about you is that you were a mall Santa and I sat on your knee when you were like 22. How old were you at 22-year-old mall Santa? Skinny, young. Oh, skinny twink Christmas. I was doing Harvey Norman in Westfield in Christchurch. So there will be a couple of people out there who won't realise, but they are sitting on my knee.

It was so surreal. Well, it was like 2012, just after we left drama school, right? Yeah, and you'd have to get changed in the Harvey Norman toilets. Well, like the customer toilets. And so I'd go in and then I'd come out like Superman, you know, and then straight into character, of course. Yeah. And then just three hours of free photographs.

I don't know if they're free anymore, but at the time they were. Yeah. While a Dyson fan just like hits you with air. Yeah. And then I'd go back to the toilets, get my clothes. But one time I got changed and then realised my clothes weren't there.

So I took one through the Harvey Norman, half dressed, being like, has anyone seen my clothes? My daily clothes. So you need to go back to home. I've got to catch the bus. You can't be in the velour in the car. Oh, my gosh.

Wait, did you have padding and, like, makeup to age yourself? Oh, yeah. I went all sort of Laurence Olivier on it. Right, okay. Very nice. I'll find the photo. Yeah, I need to see a photo.

That's fantastic. But what I want to uncover is this whole plan for Christmas because you're striving to be apolitical in all this, aren't you? Yeah, no Luxon, no Hipkins. You guys,

what are you going to do? Yeah, that's two Chris's. That's two Chris's that we could easily make a Christmas out of. Well, I picked mine. It's up to everyone else. We are talking

to Kristen Peters. Who? Kristen Peters. Kristen. Kristen Peters. Kristen Peters. And Krisandra Ardern. Yeah. But apolitically. Yeah. Very apolitically. There are a lot of Chris's Chris Kirsten Kirsten Peters Kirsten Peters and Chris Indira Jern but apolitically

very apolitically there are a lot of Chris's in this country I guess yeah you've got to get an international Chris well we

like a Chris Hemsworth we need a Hemsworth or a Pratt or an Evans but I can't tell them apart yeah be good to get Chris Hemsworth for more of like the intellectual stuff

and you've sort of got me for more of the body sort of sex appeal yeah like the little yeah you know I'm here for your sort of raw sex appeal stuff and you've sort of got me for more of the body sort of sex appeal. Yeah, like the little, yeah. You know, I'm here for your sort of raw sex appeal. Yeah. And then you'd bring in some of my kids worth for sort of wit.

Yeah, yeah. Intellect. Can't find this photo. Yeah. Now, Chris, what are you up to? Because I know that you are currently rehearsing a Christmas show. Your whole life is Christmas right now.

I lean into Christmas. Yeah. It's obviously from Christ's church, which has got Christmas on it. Christ, yeah. So yeah, it's a lot of... And you're a man of the Lord. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah. Forgive us for I have sinned. And so I'll edge up until about, you know, December the 1st and then I just hit it. Yeah. And so, yeah, right now we're preparing for a Christmas show at the Kīuranga Tērā. We're doing nine o'clock shows

because all our sevens have sold out. Me and Tom Sainsbury, who is my arch nemesis. Yeah. But also dear friend. But we're teaming up together with Kuda Forrester, maybe one of the funniest people in the world.

Tom Eason, Ruth Nesburner, Brinley Stent. It's a stellar cast. Wow. And no Hayley. And no Hayley. It's wild, eh?

It's, yeah. Do you hear who's just like, sorry, just pausing. Did you hear he's just like sorry just pausing did you hear he's like could have forested funniest woman

in the world Hayley put aside her passion for the art for the ability to pay a mortgage yeah and may I say

what a mortgage that is what a mortgage may I say and somebody else with a giant mortgage that's what I'm I'm gonna say

it is one of the biggest mortgages I've ever seen that's a gorgeous thank you so much gorgeous big huge well that's really We're the house with a giant mortgage. From the bottom of my heart. We have to do what we have to do to pay our mortgage. It is one of the biggest mortgages I've ever seen. That's a gorgeous big mortgage. Thank you so much. Oh, that's really touching. Thank you. You actually mean that from the bottom of my heart. Well, thank you so much.

It is such a huge mortgage. Thank you. Some people were sufficient with a six-digit mortgage, and not Hayley. Oh, my God. Hayley was like, bunch of pussy. Hayley said,

if I get some of your mortgage, I'll take our mortgage for the rest of us. What if you absorb a mortgage? Happy to. Yeah. So what happens in this show? Is it Christmas? Tom Sainsbury and I

play gay motor inn owners in Bethlehem, Toadana. Of course. Whose business, The Stick It Inn, is running out of patronage and so we decide to

The Stick It. The Stick It Inn. Yeah, of course. We decide to restate the stick it in. Yeah, of course. We decide to restage the second coming of Christ to just drum up a bit of business

over the Chrissy period. Of course. I love that. Get on to co.nz I reckon if you were like oh my gosh there's another Jesus

and it was born here and Bethlehem it's a smart idea. And what is Chris Parker doing for Christmas? Christmas You going to Christchurch? Oh, no, we're going up to, you know,

oh, you know how it is, you know, year about, year about, year about. Yeah, year about, year about. So I'm doing year about. I'm going up to Whangarei, which will be nice. With the hubby. Yes, with my hubby. And, you know, lots of, oh, you know,

handing gifts over. We're going to do a ham. We're going to bring a bit of the, I'm going to ham it up. You know, we're bringing a lot of the Christmas spirit. You're bringing the ham and the ham. Yeah. And because my mum,

you know, she really likes to drive Christmas back home and I can't get a foot in. You know, it's like, no, no, no, I've got it. Oh, really? Because I'm running Christmas this year.

This is my first Christmas. Are you going to do it passive aggressively or are you going to do it just aggressively? Yeah, yeah, that. Anyone need another drink? Yeah.

Great. Well, the sun looks nice. Even though I volunteered to do the ham, I'm still going to be passive-aggressive about it. Are you nervous about the ham? I mentioned last week I'm nervous about the ham. Oh, we were just going to go hungry without this, were we? Yeah.

Oh, well, I'll do it. See, I imagine that's passive-aggressive. Hayley's going to be like Jamie Lee Curtis in that episode of The Beer in season two. Just sloshing wine. And then just drive her car through the house or something. But still call it passive aggressive.

It feels like a brand. No, no. I'll drive my car through the front lounge. It's fine. No one else is going to. Well, Chris, thank you for being

the first Chris on our Massive Chris's. I'm worried for you guys. I feel like you've gone in sort of gung ho on this. No, I think we'll find plenty of Chris's. We may be struggling Thursday or Friday.

I mean, I came up with this idea and I said shotgun Chris Parker. Yep. And then I've shuffled the problem on to everyone else for the rest of the week. Best of luck to you. I got the best one. Here's hoping you get Chris Hemsworth or someone like Chris Kringle. Chris Kringle? The ultimate Chris.

Chris Pringle. Kringle. Kringle. Wait, my ultimate hope is... He's talking about Santa Claus. I was thinking about the 1980s cricketer. No, that's who I was referring to as well. Yeah, I thought so.

The 1980s cricketer. Cricket was a rich vein of Chris's as well. Yeah. I'm going to find this photo of me sitting on Chris's knee. But do the one where I'm in a Santa costume. We'll add it to the... Yes. Not the other one.

Any other ones? Oh, no, blur the genitals to the, oh. Yes, not the other one. Any other ones? Also, oh no, blur the genitals. No bottoms. I'll blur the crop top. Also, before you go,

Chris, you've got a big tour next year. Lots of dates. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I'm travelling all around the country again next year with Stand Up. Cannot wait.

I honestly couldn't tell you when. You think you're funny, do you? I'm going weak about it. Yeah, I think I'm pretty funny. You think you're funny, do you?

We've been on seven dates. The dates that you've released are for like July, June. Yeah. Yeah. Takes released are for like July, June. Yeah. Yeah. Takes a wee while to organise, you know, so you've got to be in advance. He sells out fast.

Live Nation. He's a big deal. That's what I'm saying. I've got the best, Chris, and good luck to you guys for the rest of the week. You can get the tickets from a link in my bio for my tour next year. It's called Give Me One Good Reason Why I Shouldn't Throw My Phone Off This Bridge. Love it. Chris Parker, thank you so much for joining us. Merry Chris-mas.

And a very Merry Christmas to you all too. He's still got it. He's still got it. Now this is a funny headline. Elfin safety. It's good eh 21 million

Brits Injured themselves preparing for Christmas Research has suggested Elfin safety Even funnier when you say it in the context of this So people I guess this is the I'm having a weird shooting pain in my butt again

Pfft I get that every now having a weird shooting pain in my butt again. I get that every now and then. It's just in the butt. It's just in the butt. I had it before and it's just like, ow. Are you dying? Are you okay? Now I just got another one. It's very uncomfortable.

Now, I imagine this is like the ACC thing of when they go like, here's how you injure yourself in the holiday period and whatnot. Like upper ladder, putting the Christmas tree up. Upper ladder, yeah. Decorations, falling off the roof trying to put a Santa up there. Lifting the tree, shoulder injuries, falling off a chair, hanging baubles or lights. Because if you don't have a step ladder, which lots of houses don't,

then you're getting the bloody wheelie gaming chair and that's going skating. Festive fires. People catching fire. That's going skating. Festive fires. People catching fire. That's not good. Burning themselves with hot oil while cooking the turkey. Cutting themselves, chopping vegetables for Christmas.

What did you say? 21 million people in the UK. How many people in that country? Isn't that like half? British, UK. Is it 100? Is it 50? It's 67.3 million.

Oh, wow. Yeah, so 40% have been injured during the festive season. That's a lot of people. I don't think that's like this year, but in general people responded to a survey saying, yeah, I've had a Christmas injury before. I think we should do our own research. I love this.

I think we should do New Zealand-based research because they'll have wintry accidents oh yeah like slipping and stuff on ice yeah we'll have sand in the in the wound kind of accidents have you had this is what I want to know have you had an injury Christmas related

maybe you bloody whether it's in the lead up to Christmas or on the day yeah maybe you bloody were you know tying a wrapping a gift and it penetrated your finger. Or trying a new gift and you're too boozed. Yeah, or like the glass baubles because we love a glass bauble. Oh, yeah.

You know, and then maybe tumbled into the Christmas tree after a few too many bloody Christmas margs. And you've smashed through the Christmas tree. How embarrassing, eh? Falling into a Christmas tree. God help you. Okay, well, let's take some calls. 0800 DALES at M. Call us now.

Text through 9696. According to the UK, a lot of them are having Christmas injuries. We want to know, have you had a Christmas injury? Well, according to a survey, 40% of Brits have injured themselves at Christmas time,

be it in the kitchen or decorating or preparing or on the day. I did a little bit of Googling. I said ACC stats, Christmas injuries, New Zealand. And this came out last year. This was a press release last year. Figures show that in the past 10 years, almost 1,200 people in New Zealand

suffered an injury involving a Christmas tree during the month of December. Three quarters of those were soft tissue injuries like muscle strains. Oh, yeah. Ligament tears. Totally. And it was when people were moving tissue injuries like muscle strains. Oh, yeah. Ligament tears. Totally. And it was when people were moving their Christmas tree.

Yeah. They're heavy, man. Yeah. I moved mine yesterday, which I fluffed, and it didn't even have baubles on it yet. Well, and that's a fake one. That's not even a real tree. Okay. Don't call me out.

Well, no, I'm just saying that a real one. There you go. He's had a nose job. He did have some rhinoplasty. We touched on a nose job. He did have some rhinoplasty. We touched on it last week. He's had rhinoplasty. He had rhinoplasty. I'm just saying that a heavy tree, a real tree is more heavy than a fake one.

Definitely, because the log is very thick. Yeah. Well, we wanted to know, we asked you, we're doing our own research, as we always do here. What was your Christmas injury? Mackenzie, what happened? Hey, so it was Christmas Day and I think it was 2004 and got

my first bite for Christmas. Oh, man. Congratulations. It was lovely except there was a piece of metal sticking out the side of the pedal. I got on it, foot slipped, and metal went straight through my leg, up the leg. It was a lovely day at the hospital.

So I still have the scar to this day. Was it dad, mum or dad that put the bike together? Oh, honestly, don't even remember that. Yeah, and also don't bring it up. Yeah, don't bring it up. It's Christmas soon. We don't need to know whose fault that was. Oh my God, that would have been horrible.

That's awful. I bet the hospitals must be horrendous on Christmas Day. Yeah, with people that are drinking and whatnot. Yeah, it wasn't fun. I wasn't allowed to get it stitched, so I had to have it bandaged. Apparently, I was too young to stitch it. Oh.

Yeah, so it was a thing, but I had it bandaged on my leg for, I don't know, how long? Oh, in the height of summer. Oh, yuck, yuck. Funny tan. Did everybody else's parents, when you had a cut or something over summer,

they'd be like, saltwater or heal it? And you'd go into the ocean, you'd just be like, ah! They'd be like, no, it's good, it's good, but it hurts, it's good. It means it's healing. Mackenzie, thank you. The message is in.

When I was a kid, I got rollerblades for Christmas and was rollerblading toward a big glass door and I was like, uh-oh, I better stop. So I used the brakes, but I kicked the front of the rollerblade through that floor-to-ceiling window and broke it. Broke an entire window. Now you've got to hope that that's safety glass.

Yeah, got a little cut on the leg from the raining down of glass. Some of these are horrendous. I know. Oh, my God. Glasses everywhere. We're asking you what your Christmas injury was to see if we're like the UK and have lots and lots of people getting injured. Yeah.

Preparing for or on the day of Christmas? We are. We're like them. Jack, what was your Christmas injury? Morning, team. Good morning. It was the day after Christmas. I'd gotten a slinky for Christmas as a present.

Cool. Cool. So cool. Was it last year? A lot of slinkies. Or how old were you? No, this is fair. I was probably about five. Oh, my God. And. Love slinkies. Or how old were you? How old were you? No, this is fair. I was probably about five.

Oh, my God. And did you have lots of steps? Were you like, I know just the steps for the slinky? Yeah, exactly. So there was like a carpeted staircase. Okay, yeah. I've got questions about the stairs you chose and also was the slinky a steel slinky or a plastic slinky?

It was a rainbow. It was one of the rainbow. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, they're way better. I had one of the rainbow. Yes! Yes! They're way better. I had one of these. Rainbow plastic slinky. Now, were the stairs carpet?

I heard you say carpeted stairs, but I'm wondering if there were some hardwood stairs available. There were some concrete stairs, but I went for carpet. Okay. I see an injury. I would have gone concrete. Oh, please. What happened on the carpet and stairs?

Yeah, so there was quite a few stairs. It was probably like 15 stairs from the bottom story up to the first floor. And there was a handrail beside the stairs. And I was like, I'm going to put the slinky on the handrail, and it's going to slide down to the bottom, and I'm going to race it. And I can win because I'm fast. No, it's a slinky UFO. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

That's a soft toy. You slide your soft toys down the hand, it's a slinky UFO. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's a soft toy. You slide your soft toys down the handrail and the slinky will walk down the stairs. No, no. It was a race. I was racing the slinky. Jack, you're an idiot. I can't help but feel that Jack's an idiot.

I'm a child. Big idiot. I don't care you were an idiot child. You're an idiot, man. I hope your money improved as an adult. Oh, no. So what happened? You raced a slinky. Yes. And I tripped an adult. Oh, no. So what happened? You raced Slinky. Yes, and I tripped, obviously, and I fell.

And there was a glass door at the bottom of the stairs into the garage. But it was like that retro brown gross. Oh, yeah, like mottled. Gross glass? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude, that glass was weird. What were we thinking? Carry on. Yeah, why did everyone have that? Everybody had it. Yeah, dude, that glass was weird. What were we thinking? Carry on.

Yeah, why did everyone have that? Everybody had it. Yeah, so I went head first through the glass. Oh, my God. Was it safety glass? I don't know, but I was fine. Oh, wow. Oh, jeepers.

That's lucky. What do you mean you were fine? You just went through the glass and was like, whoa. Yeah. I'm like, did you, dude? If I had done that and come out, I'm like, oh, my God, I broke a window, but I'm like Did you If I had done that And come out I'm like

Oh my god I broke a window But I'm fine My dad would have been Like you are anything but fine I'm about to kick you So hard on the ass Jack thanks

You called some messages in My uncle dislocated his knee Playing table tennis With our new table tennis table On Christmas day Oh dear I went into labour On the 22nd of December

Still no baby by Christmas Eve Now that's a long labour Ended up having a caesarean section that night And begged to go home Christmas day for only a few hours After the operation And they let me Not sure what I was thinking Dumb

Popped a stitch Gave my son a pocket knife for Christmas I thought. He's ready. He cut his wrist quite badly. Oh, jeez. Within minutes of unwrapping it. Man, these are grim stories, some of them.

Yeah, I regret, actually. Saved some sparklers from Guy Fawkes for the kids to have on Christmas because I feel sparklers are a very Christmas-friendly firework. Yeah, they are. Lots of kids in our family so I was lighting them all at once off the barbecue. What I didn't know was I was holding in my hand a sparkler

bomb and when they lit because of the reaction and the heat and it spreads really quick and it blew up in my hands and I got burns all over both hands on Christmas. That wasn't fun at all. When I was younger, we were camping over Christmas playing frisbee and a German shepherd decided to join in. When I went to catch

the frisbee, I flipped over the dog and landed on my tailbone and I could not walk. I thought they were going to go for the frisbee. Yeah, I thought that dog was going to be out of the hand. Yeah. My brother bit into a glass apple bauble thinking it was a real apple. How dumb is your brother?

Your brother's dumb. Your brother's dumb. Call me Jack the Idiot. This year I've crashed your house a couple of times. You have, yeah. Most recently on the couch and that was absolutely fine. Well, because the inn was full, wasn't it? The inn was full. Yeah. Yeah, I knocked

on the door and I was like, please, please, sir, let me in. This is a familiar story. Yeah. I was like, I'm about to give birth. Yeah. And he was like... I was like, not on the couch you won't be. Yeah, get some towels. You sent me a message yesterday, Fletch, saying any chance this key is yours from a

spare room stay? Yeah. And I was like, oh, shoot, there is a chance. It could be mine. Thinking that you meant like, did you borrow this spare key? No, no. That's what I thought you meant, that this is your key. And I was like, weird question. Like, sure, just absorb the key and put it in there.

I was in the spare room yesterday and I just, this key was like right next to the bed, like just under it. And I was like, that's weird, like that must be recent. And so I text my friend that was staying last week for like, he was there a week and a half. And I was like, is this yours? He's like, no. I text like four or five other friends. They were like, no.

It's no one's key. How did the key get there? Can I see the key? But he messaged me saying, is this mine? I'm somewhat of a locksmith? But he messaged me saying, is this mine? I'm somewhat of a locksmith. But you messaged me saying, is this yours? And when I understood what you meant, you were like, I just changed the sheets and found it,

which meant that he suspected it was mine. The last time I stayed at his was the New Zealand Pie Awards, which was about six months ago. Which leads me to believe that you have not changed the spare room sheets For six months And you've had multiple guests No I literally have changed them after I change them after everyone stays

You're not going to stay at my house And have manky sheets I'm thinking because I made the bed the other day That when I made it somehow the key was behind the mattress Or underneath it And I had dislodged it I love a mystery key You should go through my key ring.

I know what three of them are and there's about 10 of them on there. No. I take them all off and keep them. You know why? You put them in your purse, right? Yeah. Your lady purse.

In my lady purse. Whereas guys put them in their pocket and you don't put anything on your keys that you don't need. Bare minimum. Bare minimum. Yeah. No, mine's just heavy and dangling

and they're all getting longer. You know, like I haven't anchored to a primary loop. You've got to have a good, solid loop key ring. Might I recommend a carabiner? No. As the said, it's embarrassing. What did you get that off your drink bottle?

Yeah. I did. I took, because sometimes drink bottles will have a carabiner and a key ring on it and then you've got a twofer right there. No, that's embarrassing. It's embarrassing for you. Put that on. Put that on. Take that with you. So you've got a mystery key. Owner unknown. Owner unknown. Cut it Mr. Minute. Cut it Mr. Minute.

That means they're a mall goer. See, because that key, that style of key, I haven't had that for about a year since we removed that door. So it's definitely not mine. It's your standard front door key. Just little medium-sized key. Yeah, standard key.

House key. It's definitely not a car key or a lock key. Yeah. It's generally a house key. If it's no one that's stayed in the last six months, I guess I'll just chuck it out now, right? No, you have to get to the bottom of this. This is a mystery to solve. The minute you chuck it out, someone's going to the last six months, I guess I'll just chuck it out now, right? No, you have to get to the bottom of this. This is a mystery to solve.

The minute you chuck it out, someone's going to come forward and say, did I leave my key at your house? I'm locked out. They will have had another one cut by now. They'll have a new one. I've asked like all of my friends. I don't know who it is.

The exciting one is when you find a key and it's got that do not, like do not replicate on it and it's got a serial number in it. That's like my front of the case. I've got those. And it costs like $100 to get a new key. Very expensive to get that done.

Fun though when you're like, what secrets do you have? I mean, we know the secrets this guy's got. Well, it's just the key to my... You wouldn't want to walk in there unannounced. No. What, because I'm a nude sleeper? Oh my God, amongst other things. God knows what's happening.

Okay, so this weekend, this Friday, we've got carpet installed in our two spare rooms. Last Friday. This Friday, gone. No, last Friday. You say last Friday. Because if you say this Friday, it means Friday coming. Friday.

Sorry to interrupt. I just have received an email from the receptionist saying, there is a courier box addressed to you from Deadly Ponies. Excuse me? To you. To all of us. Is this our collab idea? What was our collab idea? The Deadly Ponies handbag.

For Christmas hams. Yes. The Deadly, because when everyone goes, I've got a Deadly Ponies handbag, it's likebag. For Christmas hams. Yes. The deadly, because when everyone goes, I've got a Deadly Pony's handbag, it's like, oh my God, nice. And we said Deadly Pony's handbag. For the Christmas ham. For the handbag. The nicest handbag.

If they made this a thing, we'd be getting a cut. This is our business idea as well. I mean, there's no formal contract in place. I don't like the follow through. I hate follow through. I'd like to just sit back and like reap the rewards financially Anyway carry on

I was about to soft launch our other business idea What was your other business idea? Oh no Guys we are brewing We are more than just co-workers and friends We are business partners Anyway We got carp we got carpet in store.

It's quite a big box. I reckon it's the handbags. Vaughn, you do that while Hayley, and then at the end, Vaughn can reveal what's in this box. Okay, don't open it yet because I'll get distracted. This is quite a big box. No, you carry on your story. So we got carpet on Friday.

Yeah. And then during the Friday, we had a few drinkies, me and Aaron, and then everyone left the house, and then we went and laid on the carpet. What's happening over in the Deadly Ponies box? Who cares about my story? Carry on. Is it a handbag? Oh, my goodness.

Okay, carry on. Carry on. Is it the Deadly Ponies handbag? Carry on. Also, there's huge gender inequality in this box. Anyway, so we lay on our new carpet because it's very textural on its wall and it's delicious and it's so delightful. I can't wait for you or Toes to experience the carpet.

And we lay on it doing carpet angels. And as Aaron was doing a big carpet angel he knocked over a glass of Prosecco onto the carpet. You big giraffe. At least that's white. Can you pay attention and not look at the... He's pulling out Deadly Ponies boxes. These are...

I'm slurring. I'm so excited. She's celebrating. Okay, so at least it's white wine on the carpet. White wine on the carpet is fine. And we were a bit boozy. We were like, whoopsie, typical us. Yeah. Now, yesterday we had our friends' miss.

It's our friends' Christmas. The four of us do it every year. Did you have a Daintly Pony's ham bag for the ham? I didn't. And that's a business idea we need to brew on. Yeah. What's happening in these boxes? I don't know.

Just carry on. Oh, I can't. Anyway. What's happening in these boxes? I don't know. Just carry on. Oh, I can't. Anyway. Have you got a wallet? Have you got a wallet? What's happening? Oh, it's a wallet. I was hoping it was a handbag.

It's amazing. That's so cool. Oh, my God. Well, you haven't opened the big one yet, have you, Vaughn? No. Anyway, so stop it. I'm getting so distracted by fashion. Anyway, yesterday we were at our friend's house

and I saw a glimmer and I was like, oh my God, I thought there was an animal in here. And I said, oh, it would be so nice if you guys got a cat. And my friend Tim was like, I don't really like cats that much. I'm not really a cat person. And we were just telling him the joys of cat ownership. I've liked him. You do like Tim.

I do like Tim. And he trims a good hedge. He's gone... Oh, I know that. Very impressive. Is that Tim? I love Tim. Very impressive he trims a good hedge. He's gone, oh, I know that. Very impressive. Is that Tim? I love Tim. Very impressive. He trimmed a good hedge. He's got a great hedge. And now he's not a cat person? That's another rung up the

ladder, Tim. Yeah, I know. You'll get on like a house on fire. But we were talking about it and we talked about how much joy Raleigh brought and all this. And they've known Raleigh his whole life. And they were like, God, is he still bringing in animals? And I was like, nah, he's basically stopped doing that. Hasn't even had it once. Yep. Q2. I'm home at 11 o'clock. It's too late already. I know it's a work night. I were like, God, is he still bringing in animals? And I was like, nah, he's basically stopped doing that. Hasn't even had it once. Q2, I'm home at 11 o'clock. It's too late

already. I know it's a work night. I'm like, here we go. 11.30, I'm winding down. I'm falling asleep. 1 o'clock, I wake up to the crunching of bones. You dreamt that. Aaron has headphones in, snoring, the man's tired. I dare not. Yeah. I lay there being like, you

better not. you bastard. Here. Oh, it's still alive. What, he's crunching the bones and it's still alive? It's still alive. This prick, this cat, Rolly, has brought in a little sparrow and chased it around the room, tearing feathers and spreading blood and guts. Yeah.

And we happened to, last night, move into one of the spare rooms because we were in the lounge, move into the big spare room with the brand new carpet so we could enjoy a normal room with carpet. Rolly has – where's the head? No one knows. They'll eat it. They'll eat the head. So I'm lying there like this, and I was like,

Aaron is just going to flip. He's so tired. I cannot wait. And I just did that thing. I reached for my phone, and I was like, what's the damage? Shine a torch. There is, like, the torn apart carcass of a bird at the doorstep, and Raleigh's just there.

And I was like, oh, for F's sake. And it was, I'm talking an exploded bird and there's blood all over this carpet. How did you get the blood out like last night? What did you do? Yeah 1.30 this morning I just couldn't because I was sitting up and I was going because like usually it would just be the

bird right and he's had a little nibble. Yeah. It is, where's the head? It is decimated and I just, Aaron just kind of came to him and was like, you all right? And I was like, mate. You're not. And Aaron was just like, oh, it was a bad 1.30 for us.

So the cat's going to not be an inside cat at night now? According to Aaron, yeah. Nice, hot play, hot play. It's like right now. Until it's winter. I know, but then like he did it out, right? And then we got the vacuum cleaner and the sponge and we sponged the carpet and vacuumed.

Wait, where's the head? Look, where's the head? No one knows. And Aaron said, that's it. Like, he's not coming in. And I was like, well, it's his first time. He's like, nah, that's it. But you built the expensive cat door with the council vacuuming light.

I know, but then I'm so tired because I lay awake all night being like, Rolly will be cold. The cats are very resourceful. He's going to be outside on his own doing what? Laying in the dirt wondering what he did wrong because he brought us a present? There's going to have to be a big turnaround in the house. Not a good night. Isn't the cat door at the front of the house?

No, it's in the back now. Into the lounge? Just shut the door so we can get into the lounge. And then it's not anywhere near your bedroom. Yeah, I mean, that doesn't have a door yet. And that's a hard one for him. Yeah. Doesn't have a door yet. And that's a hard one for. But yeah. Doesn't have a door yet. And the door to the bedroom

couldn't be closed because we've got the carpet installed and the doors are too low. How do you get sparrow blood out of the carpet? I don't know. Aaron's a wizard with that kind of stuff. Right. I just kept quiet. You're telling me there's a wizard at your house experimenting with sparrow blood in the carpet. Sounds like the start of it. Yeah, I'd watch

your back Vaughn and I'd be very nice to me and tell me what's in the jelly ponies. How long was it bed? Fact of the day is next. Christmas week. Christmas week here at Fact of the Day. You can open your present. It's Christmas. It's Christmas week.

Thank you. I sounded ungrateful before when I said it's not exactly a handbag, is it? It's a very nice wallet. Well, you haven't opened the big one. That could be a haylac. I opened a big one. That's going to fit a ham in it.

Yeah. Olivia Rodrigo, Vampire, ZM. Don't do my job! She did it well. Better than you. Wow! Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Before we get to fact of the day. Shout out to Deadly Ponies. They've just showered us with gifts. You may remember that I never got to the bottom of it. I've accused many people of stealing my Deadly Ponies handbag. You gifts. You may remember that I never got to the bottom of it. I've accused many people of stealing my Dilly Ponies handbag. You have. You have. Shots were

fired. At one point I suspected Vaughan Smith. What? I didn't know I was a suspect at large. Yes you were. I was closing my investigation on you. You had passed. I wasn't. Also, Fletch has called me an ungrateful prick.

So I just wanted to clarify. Again, I'm very, because I opened the box. I was expecting, all I expected was a bag to put my ham in post Christmas Day, which they have put a ham bag in because we did say that a great collab would be Deadly Ponies doing a ham bag. Ham bag. Yes. Because all the girlies ever want in life is a Deadly Ponies ham bag.

And you could get them. Exactly. You could get them and you'd be like, openies ever want in life is a Deadly Ponies handbag. And you could get them. And then you want a Deadly Ponies handbag. Exactly. You could get them and you'd be like, open it up. And it comes in a Deadly Ponies box. And they're all excited. They open it up and they say, it's a handbag. Yeah.

And you're like, that's what you asked for. And they say, no, I asked a handbag. And I said, well, no, you've got to be clarifying. You haven't even said it. You didn't write it down. So I thought you wanted a handbag. And then everybody has a laugh and, you know, you find out if your partner is, you know, materialistic

or loves your quirky sense of humour. Well, they put a Deadly Ponies handbag in and then inside the handbag is a Deadly Ponies handbag. Next year we need to get onto it earlier so we can get these produced for Christmas. Also, the boys are laughing because I feel choked up. I've never laughed. It was very emotional.

You didn't think I was crying. And then I looked at the handbag and I got choked up. I've never liked this. It was very emotional. She was almost crying. And then I looked at the handbag and I got a chill up my right leg. People don't understand what it's like to receive your deadly pony's handbag. This is just, this is something. And also, oh no, I won't say that. I won't say that, but I'm excited. Well, I've made an immediate transfer into my new wallet. Thank you very much.

Don't buy this junk shit offline. Because they're like, look at all our great reviews. And then when you get a bad review, they just delete it. That's the wallet that you brought off Instagram. Oh, yeah. And you hide it and it tore straight away. It broke straight away. Now you've got a Daily Ponies.

And do you know what? You're going to experience what it's like when you've got a Daily Ponies because you're going to pull out your wallet to pay and people will go, oh. Really? Because then they'll expect that I'm going to pull out your wallet to pay and people will go, oh. Really? They'll expect that I'm going to be footing more than my fair share of the bill. Not happening. Well played, Deadly Ponies.

And we look forward to next year's collaboration on the FEHX Deadly Ponies handbag. Handbag. All right, it's time for... Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Even though I said I wasn't going to do it, I'm doing it, damn it. It's Christmas week. Yay! Fact of the day.

He's not a Grinch. I've done Christmas week before and our last week on air in the lead up to Christmas and found out like really awesome. This is where I learned about the Yule Cat. Oh yeah. Which is like Iceland's got this Yule Cat

that goes around and does bad things to people who didn't do their job and stuff. It was just a real, keep people on their toes, keep them working for the greater good of Iceland. And I love the Yule Cat now. But this week, Christmas week, it's going to be a bit harder having done it before.

So I like to find a quirky fact that, you know, isn't printed on Christmas crackers and such. Well, I have a fact about the world's biggest ever Christmas present. What do you think is the world's biggest ever Christmas present? An island. A country. No. A ship. It's something that was made. It was

made in the 1800s. And it was a gift from one country to another country. Statue of Liberty. Statue of Liberty, correct. Yeah! Of course! From Paris! So France

proposed a gift to the United States to say well done on your commitment to democracy. Are they going to take it back in a few years? Yeah, I wonder if they're going to melt it down because that copper would be worth a fortune now. And to sort of honour Abraham Lincoln. So the Statue of Liberty was a Christmas present.

Huh. Because they said to Yuletide greetings, this is our Christmas present to you. And it was actually copper before it oxidised. Yeah, it oxidised. They knew that was going to happen. That wasn't an unexpected by-product. They knew it was going to happen.

But yeah, when they first made the Statue of Liberty, it looked more coppery and more gingery and gold. That's making all of our Christmas presents this season look pretty bad, isn't it? Might as well do a Dilly Pony sandbag, speak for yourself. I'd rather that than a big, ugly statue. I was going to go to a construction site this weekend and steal a whole lot of copper piping, melt it down, make

a statue out of it, and give it to... Where's Fletch going to put it? It's really weird because when you say that you can tell Fletch who's never even probably dealt with the piping in his house versus someone who's dealing with piping and it's just don't even joke about that

don't joke about stealing I've had that before don't do that so today's fact of the day is the world's biggest Christmas gift was from France to the United States and it was the Statue of Liberty. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah.

Now, we did tease last week that we were starting to head towards silliness. And now that we're mere minutes away from four shows left of the year, the silliness has increased. And unfortunately, we've roped Carwin, producer Carwin, into the silliness. Now, Carwin said that she was preparing for the show last night and saw something that made her lean into the Silly Billy nature. Yeah, listen, I've done the show for a few years now. I know how we all get on the last week.

Silly. And I was like, I'll get ahead of it. I'll produce the silly. You're going to bring the silly. So some Chinese scientists have basically invented an invisibility cloak. I don't know if they have. Yeah, I don't think it's quite. Isn't it reflective or something?

Yeah, but that makes you invisible, you know? It's invisible to cameras. Yeah. And infrared. Right, so you could be like up to no good and security cameras won't pick you up. Yeah, and so you wrap it around and any photo

like bounces back and it comes across as white. Is that the one you're seeing? Yeah, I think so. It's basically Harry Potter, right? Let's get those for our license plates. What's that?

Whoa. I didn't say that. And then run amok. You're such a bad boy. I just meant like go 60 in a 50. Something like that. I know.

Sorry, naughty. Sorry, naughty. Oh my God. That would be cool though, right? That's pretty cool. I didn't realise we were a 50, something like that. I know. Sorry, naughty. Sorry, naughty. Oh, my God. That would be cool, though, right? I'm sorry. I didn't realise we were dealing with such a bad boy. So you think that it's going to make, it's a step, I guess, in the right direction of invisibility cloaks.

Yes. And so you want to pose to us and to our listeners, if you did have an invisibility cloak, what would you do? If you could be invisible, where would you go? What would you do? I don't know. I'd panic and do something dumb. Like, do you know what I mean?

Like, go get ice cream from the supermarket. And then you'd be like, I don't even need that, you know? Right, yeah. Go to the bank. I do feel like, yeah, getting something off of a shelf. Getting something off of a shelf so it looks like it's floating. Yeah, that would be weird. Freak people out. Is that freaking people out's floating. Yeah, that would be weird. Freak people out.

Is that freaking people out? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I think I'd just leave. But what would you do? I'd just be real nosy. I'd be like,

I wonder what they're saying about me and I'd go into a meeting and I'd be like, oh, this is boring. No, you just hurt your feelings. Nah, because you... No, no, Vaughn. I've heard what they say.

Power. Knowledge is power. Vaughn, it'll hurt your feelings. Other stuff I might learn in there. That's a good... You could actually go into actual proper meetings where important things are being discussed. I'd do industrial sabotage.

Would you? I'd get hired by one company to spy on another company. Oh. I'd go to the airport and go on a flight somewhere fun and then I'd take it off and I'd be in Bali and I got there for free. Would you just hope for an empty seat and have to stand in the cloak the whole time?

You'd have to stand in the aisle and any time someone goes to the toilet, you'd be like, shuffle back. But wait, what if you're in an empty seat and the person next to you touches you or goes to put their headphones on the seat but they touch your lap? And it floats, yeah.

And then it floats and then you've created a whole thing. You'd have to go to the toilet. You'd have to stand in the toilet for 18 hours if you're going all the way to Europe. I don't think you've thought this through. I think you're wasting your invisibility on industrial sabotage. And meanwhile, I'm now holidaying in Bali for free. No, because then when I go to Bali on holiday,

I fly business class and don't have to hide under a cloak the whole time. Right. Because of my money from my industrial sabotage. Yeah but there'll be an empty business class seat and they don't have adjacent seats. There's your problem. So you'll get away with it. You just sit in one of those. Yeah right. And then when they're walking past with the bubbles you just like poke out a hand

loop back into the cloak. Right. Okay. Back into the cloak. Okay. Well that's how I'm using my invisibility cloak. We want to take your calls. If you could be invisible, what would you do? Make my way around Hogwarts at night, hiding from... Well, that's the actual... Filch the cat.

Yeah, right. Yeah, up to no good with my buddy Ron Weasley. Oh, my God. And Hermione Granger. Of course you went there. Yeah. 0800 DALS at M. We want to take your calls.

You can text through 9696. If you had an invisibility cloak for a day, what would you do with it? Give us a call. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. If you're invisible for a day, for 24 hours, what would you do? What would you do?

There's been an invisibility cloak of sorts invented that kind of repels security cameras. Yeah, repels lights and flash photography. Good for celebrities and paparazzi and whatnot to just ruin their photo. Oh, yeah, because you can make a top out of it. Yeah. And then it would just mess with the flashes. Try to take a photo of my boobs.

Lacey, what would you do 24 hours invisible? Yeah, g'day. Good morning. Good morning. I would love to rob a few banks. Yeah, me too. I'll help you out. Now, we will say the only

thing stopping you being a lawbreaker is the fact that people can see you? Who get caught? No, because you're invisible. Yeah, yeah, I know, but what I'm saying is I'll take away

your ability to be seen and all of a sudden you're like, well, now I'll rob a bank. Because you just have access to piles of money, wouldn't you? No, no, we're not here to judge.

I'll rob a bank. I'll help you, Lacey. We'll go halves on the profits. There you go. We'll say this is a highly hypothetical. It is wild. The only thing stopping somebody breaking the law is the fact that they'll be seen.

Don't be so high and mighty. You're going to go look at boobies. And I know it. Yeah, he is. He's straight into the changing rooms to look at boobies. I can see boobies anytime I want. The internet, I don't know if you guys know this, but the internet is full of them.

It's full of it. Bev, what would you do? 24 hours invisible. Me? Yes. What would I do? What would you do? Okay, so first off,

long time listener, first time caller. Wow. Welcome to the show. Where are you from, Beverly? I'm originally from Alabama. Alabama. Oh, wow.

Okay. Yeah. That, wow. Okay. That's cool. And what would you do with 24 hours invisibility? Well, I have to admit, when you asked this question, I was getting ready. I was just out of the shower, getting ready in the bathroom, and I thought, oh, I'd totally hard out

in the all-black changing room. You'd hard out. Oh, my God. Do you believe, Beverly, they get completely naked in the all-black changing room. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Do you believe they get completely naked in the changing room? Or you'd just be happy to send them in their undies? Oh, no, yes. Well, you know, oh, no, they've got to be naked. Surely.

They have to sit back and do things. They've got to be naked. Something charming about it when it's said in a southern accent. Yeah. So you're just sitting there? They're jumping in those ice packs. I can help them. I can help them. You're invisible. You're invisible. the southern accent. Yeah. Are you just sitting there? I mean, they're jumping in those ice packs. I could help them.

I can help them. You're invisible. If you were quiet, there would just be a towel floating in the air. They would just never know. Right? I love that.

You've really thought this through, haven't you? Wow. You're a wild child. Oh, yeah. It's like a dream come true. For some people, it's Rob Bank.

And for some people, it's have a perv. I love that. You are not alone in this,. For some people, it's Rob Bank. And for some people, it's have a perv. I love that. You are not alone in this, Beverly. Thank you, Beverly, for your call. So many messages coming in. A lot of people, I think, wanted to see some nakeds. We are tackling the serious issues here.

The question at hand right now, if you had an invisibility cloak for 24 hours, what would you do with it? Where would you go? What would you achieve? So far, we're robbing banks and we're seeing boobies. Yeah. Thematically.

Do you know what, Nuna, but text messages? Yeah. People would mess with their ex. Really? Yeah, I'd go to my ex's house and just put the living shits up in for 24 hours straight. Spook him. Somebody else said, I'm completely petty,

but I would just go to my ex's. Want to watch TV? Too bad the remote's under the cloak. When the shower and your towel's gone? Too bad. Put your car keys in a certain place and now you're late for work? Sucks to be you. I'd have a backpack of stuff under the cloak with me.

Wow. Oh, my God. People are really vindictive, isn't it? Yeah. It just seems like a waste of just a mess with someone. Who cares? Yeah, I know. You've got to get something that's like lasts beyond the 24 hours.

I'd have my boobies and my hoo-ha out all day. Just be naked under there. Oh, yeah, because you would be able to walk around naked until what if it clicked off and then all of a sudden you're naked in public. You're in the middle of bloody Aotea Square. I'd probably still wear knickers just in case. I'd wear a bra and undies. Someone said, I'm not going to lie,

I'd like to pervert Fletch and see his Christmas cracker. Nice, that's from Margaret, I assume. Keeping the marriage alive with a bra and undies. Someone said, I'm not going to lie, I'd like to pervert Fletch and see his Christmas cracker. Oh. Nice, that's from Margaret, I assume. Keeping the marriage alive with a little bit of dangerous flirting. Probably my faux wife, Margaret. Yeah. Oh, you've got to stop calling her that. My client's neighbour thinks my client's having an invisibility cloak that he puts on them to go onto his property.

Oh, he's not well. Oh, exactly. He's not right. He's not well. He's saying your clients have got an invisibility cloak and they're sneaking onto my property and damaging it. Right. Okay. I'd just get my invisibility, this is

sad. I'd get my invisibility cloak on just to get shit done without people interrupting me and stopping me the whole time. Oh my god. Errands? You have an invisibility cloak for 24 hours. We can be robbing banks. We can be getting rich. We can be messing with people, and you're running errands.

Yeah. Wild. I just want to take a poop in private, you know? I just want to be left alone. That's just paranoid, isn't it? Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one. Yeah.

I think two of us were 10 out of 10, and one of us wasn't. Well, who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do.

Unless it's a bad one. Oh yeah, don't. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.