ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 11th June 2024

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Two minutes past six. Hello, darling.

Hello, darling. Hello, darling. I'm just going to turn you up a little bit. There you go, there you go, there you go. Now, I've just looked at the current jackpot. No winners yesterday for five on time. It came back yesterday. Come on, you losers.

I love this game. Six and a half thousand dollars. The current jackpot. Your chance to play at eight o'clock this morning. Let's get up there. You just have to say time at exactly five seconds. What's wrong with you? Head full of rocks.

Yeah, what are you, a cold child? Need a singlet? It'll be nice money, $6,500 for your chance to win at 8 o'clock this morning. Especially when Lotto's a measly $4 million this week. Yeah. What are you even supposed to do with that coin? Ten times that Lotto. The top six on

the way. Yeah, the New Zealand Rich List has been unveiled, revealed? Yeah, revealed for 2024. The people on the rich list took their cumulative wealth up some $20 billion. Congrats, guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. And good morning to our rich listeners. We know you're cashed up and we would love to unburden you of some of that awful awful cash send it in send it in

yeah awful awful cash yeah send it in actually pop it in an envelope 2 Graham Street Auckland Central lovely 1010 is the postcode

we'll make sure it's addressed to us because there's some scallywags in this building oh yeah Tony Street will be like is this for me yeah

she's like one of those beagles at the airport. It's actually what she does at the weekend. It's a weekend job. She sniffs cash on the people. She's on the convey about. Oh yeah. Hell of a sniffer on it. I know. I've got the top six reasons none of us surprisingly

were on the rich list. Oh yeah, you're going to mention our failed business ventures. Yeah. And where we went wrong with our investments and such. Okay, well fair enough. I guess it's a learning for people. I where we went wrong with our investments and such. Okay. Well, fair enough. Yep. I guess it's a learning for people. I gave a lot of money to Kony 2012.

Oh, I got really behind that. Yeah, you did. They still haven't found them, have they? Lost a lot. Africa's a bloody big place. It is, yeah. Very easy to hide.

Never a truer thing was said. Next on the show, I didn't think the French had a sense of humour. No, they're not known for their humour. I know the Germans aren't. Are the French actually known for a sense of humour? The French are known for eating

whatever the F they want. Yeah. And not getting fat. And not getting fat. How do they do that? Staying young and slim and hot. Well, they must have a sense of humour because they have a protest planned ahead of the Olympics, which we must discuss next. Now, last week tonight with John Oliver, the HBO show, which you can watch on Neon, touched on this very story last night. Right.

This is happening in France ahead of the Olympics. Bonjour. There's a lot of protest because $1.4 billion has been spent by the French to clean up the River Seine ahead of the Olympics. Yeah, it's filthy. And the Olympics are costing a lot. There's a cost of living crisis. And so a lot of the French aren't happy taking to the street. Because all this, every country that has the Olympics

isn't everybody like, what? Like, it just drains them. It nearly bankrupt Athens, Rio de Janeiro. China could afford it. London, barely. Even the Commonwealth Games. Didn't Australia want to have them? They bailed.

And they just bailed. They were like, it's too much. Yeah, it's too expensive. It's so much money. Well, because of this, there is a protest planned on the day of my birth, the 23rd of June. Glorious day. What a day to be born. This is the day that the mayor of Paris said that she would swim in the River Seine because it's so clean now.

Which it's not because it's basically just a giant waste pipe. Yeah, it's all wrong. And has been for hundreds of years. Even though they spent so much money trying to clean it up. And they want to do the triathlon and the swimming in there. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's a river for looking at. Yeah. To actually be in. I know no, no, no, no, no. It's a river for looking at, not to actually be in.

I know. And anyway, the mayor is adamant. She's like, yes, I will swim on the 23rd of June. And so that is when protesters are planning a mass flash. They're calling it a defecation flash mob. Oh, for God's sake, they're going to shit in the sun. And there's even a website where if you're upstream from where the protest

or the swimming is happening for the Olympics, it will calculate how long your poo would take to get to that spot. I don't like it. That's yuck. I'm just googling, trying to find the latest toxic readings from the CN.

It's really bad, and it's been bad for like centuries. It's also contaminated by and it's been bad for like centuries. It's also contaminated by a forever chemical that has gone under the radar for a long time. No, it's just there to look nice. You're not actually getting in it. It doesn't even look nice. It's like that kind of felt.

You'd finish all your felts and there'd be one felt left. It'd only be described as poos. Poo, green, diarrhea. Yeah, yeah, it would be slimy. Trifluoroacetic acid. TFA is a forever chemical. Known in particular from the degradation of pesticides, belonging to a large family of pre and blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, but it's a forever one and that's in there. It's not great. I wouldn't, yeah. It's not great. What are their other options for a swam? Like build a pool A pool Or do the triathlon at a lake somewhere inland

Where you can like clean it up Surely it's got some lovely lakes I'm going to Google lovely French lakes Lovely French lakes Lovely French lakes The 10 most beautiful lakes in France Apparently they built a pool, but it's leaking. Well, you don't want that with your pool.

You just leave the hose running in it at the same rate that the water's exiting. Did you see that? This just popped up the other day. The swimming pool that they've built inside a stadium for the US Olympic trials. Insane. They built it in the middle of like a football stadium or an indoor stadium

Really? Can they cover it up and then do stuff on top of it again? No they built it floor So they built it up and built a floor around it Google it It's absolutely insane And then they'll just rip it down when the trials It'll be the most people that have ever watched us swimming

Live? Live Because it's in a giant stadium. Oh, God. I'm looking, there's some lovely lakes. Well, I don't know what's happening in France. They've got, what, a month or two to get their shit together?

It feels all very last minute. It's less than that, is it? I thought it was July. It's like six weeks away now. Well, the other night, I was talking to James McHoney. Hang on, he just said a month or two, shoot. Well, the other night I was talking to James McConey. Hang on. He just said a month or two and you said, no, nothing like that, six weeks. I'd say that's the definition of a month or two. That's a month or two.

That's literally between a month or two. It's mid-July, isn't it? That's literally six weeks is between a month or two. I'm not defending you here. He absolutely made it sound like you were a silly billy. Friday the 26th of July. Right. Well, the other night.

July named after Julius Caesar. Stop it. I spoke to James McHoney. Great fact. Such a shit fact of the day yesterday. From the crowd goes wild. And he will be at the Olympics. And he said, I said, hey, will you be our official Olympics correspondent?

And he said, I would bloody love to. Oh, my God. You've got that all teed up. I've teed it up. I've sorted it out. I've got our correspondent. Did you do that outside of work hours? I don't have a correspondent. Absolutely. Thank you. You're welcome. That's really good. I've sorted it out. I've got our correspondent. Did you do that outside of work hours? Other shows don't have a correspondent.

Absolutely. Thank you. You're welcome. That's really good. I'm always on. Always working. Put your feet up, producers. That's all sorted.

Yeah, well, Carmen was actually there, and I just said, look, I've just done your job for you, Carmen, so you're welcome. Oh, wow. Have a night off. I said, have a night off. A night off on Fletch.

Next on the show. This only pertains to you in this studio. Okay. Five reasons that the eldest child is the show. This only pertains to you in this studio. Okay. Five reasons that the eldest child is the best. What about the only child? Well, that's no one in this room, so it doesn't matter. It's Carlin. Carlin's in our show.

I said in this room. We're not talking to the producers. They're not working hard enough because you've already organized our Olympic correspondent. Okay. I'm only talking about us. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Youngest child here, me, Hayley Sproul. organised our Olympic correspondent. I'm only talking about us. Youngest child here, me, Hayley Sproul. Middle child, Vaughan Smith.

Yeah, attention seeker. Yeah. Oldest child, Carl Fletcher. We cut the path, didn't we, for the younger. Yeah. The younger siblings. Yeah, you did. Actually, that's part of this. I've got five research-backed reasons

that eldest children are the best, which I don't agree with. And as a little child, I'll argue every point. Yeah, okay. I'll go from youngest point of view, you go middle. Or I'll negate it with a reason why the oldest isn't the best. Okay. Okay, the first reason.

Older siblings might be smarter. And we've talked about this once before and we were like, it's just because they've been around a little bit longer, so they learn things quicker. But actually, this research is because they think older children often end up teaching their siblings things, which means that they're more likely to retain knowledge. Not true.

My brother wouldn't teach me anything or tell me anything because then I would know how to do something. Right. And he always had to have the upper hand. I think my older brother taught me stuff. You get on with your older brother though, don't you? Yeah, I know. Did you teach your baby brother anything?

No, but again, same. Why would I want him having the knowledge? Yeah. It's like a game of Survivor. It's outwit, outlast. Yeah, outplay. Outplay. This is a bit sad. And your dad is Jeff Probst

Yeah As a family grows Parents have less time to spend with each child Every time you add a child You're diluting the intellectual environment Of everyone in the family So the older person sort of gets all of the knowledge And then it's like a trickle down

And by the last 10 years They are the one They get the one-on-one all the time with the ABC, one, two, three, and then the next one. But then they do teach the next one. I mean, I'm the baby and I think I learnt my ABCs and one, two, threes. But anyway, okay. What comes after C then?

ABC, G, L-M-N-O-D-Z, T-R, T-R L, M, N, O, Z. Yeah. T, R, T, Rex. Yes. N, P, C. See, we could get your older brother on the phone. He'd know all of the letters. She did nail all the letters. All the orders in question.

Let me say in order. In order. Yeah. What do you mean? It's the rhyme. A, B, C, G, N, P, C. Yeah. N, T, Rex, N, W, G. Yeah. N, T, R, X, N, W, G.

Yeah. It's not quite there. G, F, G. No, you're all right. And then T. You're doing really well. Doing really well. I'm not done.

I've done that real good. Okay, the next one. They could be more responsible. They're often more obedient and responsible. This is the oldest child. Oldest child reads to me. And it was the oldest child considers Oldest child is more responsible. This reads to me, and it was, the oldest child considers himself the third parent.

Yes. The oldest always feels like it's on them to dish out a little bit of discipline and chuck their two cents in. Yeah, right. Okay, well, that was how we're saying that one's fake. This is research back.

Fake news. Research back. It's fake news. Reasons that the eldest is better. This is what a middle child would say, though, to these findings. I bet this research was conducted exclusively by eldest children. Okay, in general, the third reason, they might be more successful than their younger brother or sister.

What's success judged on? Well, they're more achievement-oriented and eager to please their parents, which can lead them to being a little bit more ambitious career wise. Suck ups is what they are. And they're more prepared to take on leadership roles in the professional world. Because they have a personal life. It just sounds like jealousy there from a middle child that's not getting enough.

Also their parents in general just perceive them to be more accomplished. Really? Even if that's not true. Because they'd be the first to do things more often. Yeah. I'm a doctor, I'm a doctor. They're like, wow, wow, wow. And then the baby's like, I'm a doctor. And they're like first to do things more often. Yeah, yeah. They're like, I'm a doctor, I'm a doctor. They're like, wow, wow, wow. And then the baby's like, I'm a doctor.

And they're like, been there, done that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was also the first to walk out of me and my brother. So, mm. Yeah, true. Okay, so that's not true. Even though this is research-backed reasons. You weren't like two years older than your brother.

I'll say it again. You only walked a day before him. You were a lazy little shit. Yeah, embarrassing. Okay, the fourth reason that eldest child's the best, they follow the rules more. Yeah. They're more obedient.

No, but that makes them narcs. Rule followers sticking to the status quo, more responsible, competitive, and conventional, whereas later-borns have to distinguish themselves and create their own personality, which is when we tend to be like, ah, look at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I didn't like the tone with calling them later-borns.

This is what it really feels like. Hello, I'm Hayley. I'm the later-born of the Sproul clan. Yeah. That's how I might introduce my brother next time. This is my later-born. This is the later-born Fletcher. It really sounds derogatory.

It does. Does your brother go by Fletch? That's interesting. You actually have the same surname. No, because I was first. So you took it. With that nickname, obviously, yeah. Okay.

Okay, here's the last reason why that research says that the oldest children are the best. They're more conscientious. Conscientious. Apparently. More agreeable. Less neurotic

than their later born siblings. They're later borns again. Yeah. They could help them in the long run be more conscientious as a human being. Yeah. I don't think so. Yeah, I agree with all of this. You agree with all of this? I do think you're saying fake news. Right now I could Google

scientific research that says middle child is best and I'd find something. Scientific research that says middle child is best and I'd find something. So scientific research that younger siblings are better. Here we go. What have you found? Sibling relations. Oh, lots of deep studies. The truth about middle children.

Middles are more likely to affect change than any other birth order. Perfect. No, just more. Older siblings tend to make more money. Yeah. The middle child syndrome. The secret powers of the middle child. perfect no just more older siblings tend to make more money yeah the middle child syndrome the secret powers of the middle child

oh my god literally from the same way so this from the Huffington Post here's one five science backed reasons youngest children win at life oh for god's sake

see it's so what we've got here I think is I am struggling to find anything positive about the middles it's all like is middle child syndrome real

so we're better. We're better. I'll just rattle them off. They're more adventurous. Yeah. They're probably hilarious. Tick, tick. They're more relaxed.

Tick, tick. My brother's got anxiety. They are great at making friends. Tick, tick. Hayley's popular. And five, they're more creative. I'm a comedian. Where's the Huffington Post list for the middle child for Vaughan?

I'll get it. I don't have one to that. I'll have to write my own. A post for middle children. It's in very large font. Next, a man has got... Here you go, Huffington Post. 11 reasons middle children are the best.

Wait, 11? You guys only had five each. Sookie. We got 11. They get the full sibling experience. You've got a younger one and an older one. Perfect balance. They give guidance and receive it too. I'll just give you five. You don't get got 11. They get the full sibling experience. You've got a younger one and an older one. Perfect balance. They give guidance and receive it too.

I'll just give you five. You don't get all 11. They get away with so much. Yeah, things are not good things. Receiving less attention makes them stronger. They become experts in compromise. Perfect. I think Tupos literally ticked all of our boxes.

That was the weakest list of all of them, though, wasn't it? No, it was the best. The weakest. Well, there was five more to go. We didn't even get to them. Next, a man has gone viral for the way that he prepares and packs for his holidays. Oh, God, is it packing sound?

Play it. ZM's Fletch Vodaneli. Now, this guy's a data scientist. He's gone viral on... Nerd. Yeah, nerd. Nerd alert. Very smart man by the looks of it. Now, he's gone viral. Nerd. Yeah, nerd. Loser. Very smart man by the looks of it.

Now, he's gone viral on TikTok because of the way that he packs his suitcase and bags when he goes away. Okay. Now, we've got holidays coming up in like two and a bit weeks. Yep, I'm going away. Yeah, have you packed anything yet? Yeah, I started shoving some clothes in a suitcase. Do you make a list? Oh, my God. Get a suitcase. Do you make a list? Oh, my God.

Get a life. Do you know what I mean? Get laid. No, I don't make a list. I make a list when I'm- I go, where am I going? What's the temperature? When I'm going hiking, I make a list.

Well, you've got to. You've got to because you can't forget, like, if you forget, like, a head torch, you're like, oh, your boots, which I did forget my boots once when I didn't make a list. Yeah. Yeah, it's horrible because then you're stuck in the middle of nowhere with no head torch, you're like, all your boots, which I did forget my boots once when I didn't make a list. Yeah. Yeah, it's horrible. Because then you're stuck in the middle of nowhere with no head torch or boots or something. Yeah, if you're going somewhere where you're doing something specific. But if you're going away to like an island or Europe or whatever.

You're just going summer. You can buy stuff over there if you forget something. I do, and what my mum does, which is a long lengthy pack, which she'll like, because they live overseas for five months of the year. She just has a couple of suitcases out and then she'll go through her wardrobe

and be like, I might take that and she chucks it in and then pulls stuff out and does little outfit plans. Well, morning of leaving. Yeah, that's so stressful. That's stressful.

Now this guy, because he's a data scientist. That's why you never remember your toothpaste. You've got to go knock on Fletcher's door. Always knocks on my door. Ask for toothpaste.

Call some toothbrushes. Well, this guy, because he's a data scientist, uses Excel spreadsheets, and this is what he does. I list out every item that I need to remember to pack, and then I also list the associated bag. And then as I'm packing, I just go through and I check off, you know, each item as I pack it. And at the same time, I can see for each bag

what percentage of that have I packed, right? And then I'm like, what is my total pack percentage? What the? Am I weird for this? They're going and heading away in order to get some tang. So he puts something in his suitcase and then there's a checkbox. I didn't even know you could do that in Excel. You check it and it goes green.

Yeah, you can. And then as he checks off more things in whatever suitcase, it shows the percentage of suitcase that's full. I mean, it's a bit full. It's a bit much. Like, just make a list in Notepad or write down a list, you know? Yeah. I mean, some people, you know, take it a bit seriously,

like you with your packing sales. Packing sales when you're going away for more than... I don't get it. It's still going in the same... But it's not a mess. All your undies are in a packing cell. It's like in a drawer in your suitcase. Kmart have got cheap packing cells like Mac Pack, Kathmandu.

All got them there. They're the best thing to travel with. Glad zip slides though. Yep. And a push. Yeah, that'd be a good packing cell. I sort of just use, you know, your totes. I'll just like, I've got so many totes.

Right. You know, every time that Cotton On's like, do you want to support children? And I'm like, well, now I look like a dick if I say no. And so I get all these totes. I'll just like, I've got so many totes. Right. Well, when I pack. You know, every time that Cotton On's like, do you want to support children? And I'm like, well, now I look like a dick if I say no. And so I get all these totes. And so you just use those? Yeah. Right.

Okay. They're like a packing cell. Yeah. Do you? Except you can't see into them. Kmart, $90, seven piece packing cube. They've got mesh on them so you can see through. Yeah.

And then I have a packing cell for undies, packing cell for T-shirts, packing cell for other things. Yeah. I don't know. I think you should try. It'll change your life. I'm seeing that there's a 21-piece travel organisation kit. Oh, my God, look what they've got at Kmart,

the checked shopping bag. The what? The big chicken. Yeah, dude. The trike. Do you know? Some airlines have banned those. The zip's got no strip.

There's zero integrity to that zip. They bust open. I'm going to get some of these, though, because they're great for the garage. Well, can you get some packing sales and just try it? Great for the garage. What are you putting in them? Just clothes that I don't wear at the moment. Clothes that are too small, Vaughn.

You know what, you won't make me want to go there. Wow. Wow. I wouldn't have gone there. He just fat shamed me on it. Yeah, I heard that. Did you hear him say like,

hey, fatty boom boom? And I was like, excuse me. No, I didn't say fatty boom boom. I said, what are you putting in there? And then he looked me up and down and went, oink, oink, piggy piggy, put down the bacon. Piggies shouldn't be eating bacon.

How dare you say that to me? That's cannibalism. Oink, oink, piggy, piggy, put down the bacon from this guy. Wow. I did say that. That's actually outrageous. I did say that. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM. From the panoramic ZM think tank, this is the top six. Well, the New Zealand rich list is out. The collective wealth of this year's NBR list has come in at $95.68 billion, well up on last year's $72.59 billion. Wow. It's great to see it's trickling down. You know, trickle down.

This is just proof, endless proof that trickle down economics works. It certainly does. They have gone up in value $20 billion in a year. Over $23 billion in a year. The top 10 are all billionaires with a collective net worth of more than $50 billion. I always like it when a billionaire, you know, like overseas, they come in and say, I do want to pay less tax. I do want to pay more tax.

I do want to help people. Yeah, I love that. But it never happens, does it? Nah. Cough up, you know. Because you know what? You know, it's like when you get a little five grand pay rise. You're like, well, now I'm going to be able to save five grand

and you just end up spending more money. That's what I imagine it looks like being a billionaire, you know. You know, you go up 20 billion. You've got to make 20 billion and then you just get used to spending it. You know, you get used up spending more money. That's what I imagine it looks like being a billionaire, you know? You know, you go up $20 billion. You've got to make $20 billion, and then you just get used to spending it. You get used to spending $20 billion. That's what it's like. That's comparative. Absolutely comparative.

Well, I've got the top six reasons none of us are on the rich list. We've made some terrible business decisions. Number six on the list, Fletcher's Ostrich Farm. They told me at the time ostriches were going to be the next big thing. And the eggs. In what way? Oh, no, ostrich eggs are yuck, though. Big-ass chicken.

They're basically big-ass chickens, the ostrich. I was told big-ass chickens. Imagine the meat production. Imagine the drummies on them. And then nobody wanted them. And I've still got, like, 4,000 ostriches. They will not die. They won't die.

Can we eat them? Can we fillet them? Nobody liked them. Yeah, they'll be yuck. Oh, I just googled how big is an ostrich drumstick? Like the Flintstones or like some kind of...

Kind of. Hold on, I'll open up this Instagram account where somebody's cooked a drumstick. It's like a leg of lamb. Holy shit. It's like a big ass leg of lamb.

That's not going to taste nice, is it? That's going to be so disgusting, I reckon. Given the fact that they've just brined it anything that needs brining for 24 hours

my guess is is it like naturally a yum a yum a yum quick meal. Yuck. Number five on the list of the top six reasons

none of us were on the rich list Hayley's NFT farm. Yes. Yeah I know. I shouldn't have put so much money into it. I didn't even know what fungible meant.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? You just saw fun and fungible and you're like, I'm in. I know. And why you need to buy a farm, I'm not sure. That was a huge land investment. I was like, where am I keeping all these fungibles? And they were like, what do you mean?

And I was like, well, I'll put down the deposit. You got upset when people were just copying your artworks. Yeah, they'd screenshot it and be like, is it mine now? And I'd be like, stop it, I've bought down the deposit. You got upset when people were just copying your artworks. Yeah, they'd screenshot it and be like, is it mine now? And I'd be like, stop it, I've bought it. Yeah. I don't know. Bizarre. Next time, eh?

Next time. Next time. Yeah, next time. Now, number four on the list of the top six reasons none of us were on the rich list. My big investment in Peloton after Sex and the City killed, was it Big? The character? Yeah. Mr. Big got killed on a Peloton. Sex and the City killed, was it Big? The character? Yeah. Mr. Big got killed on a Peloton.

He had a heart attack and died. And then I was like, this is going to bounce back for sure. Yeah. It didn't. I was reading about them the other day. They're still like struggling. Oh, no, trust me. Every time I open up my Shazies, I see that Peloton has not bounced back.

Number three on the list of the top six reasons none of us were on the rich list are I also tried to start a church. Now you think that's easy money. Yeah. And you're no tax. Do you have any idea how expensive snakes are? Why have you got so many snakes in your church? Well, because all the other church ideas were taken. I want one of those ones where you grab snakes.

Yeah, and you go, ah! Yeah, and then there's a bit of tongue speaking and then the snakes have got tongues and the amount of money I've tried to import snakes. Yeah. And then all of your followers have left now, haven't they? They've gone to Destinies. They've gone to Destinies. Yeah.

I wasn't crazy enough. So that's what I know for Vaughan's Church 2.0. Yeah. Also, you were asking for the Destinies. I wasn't. You were asking to take 40% of everybody's wages and salary. That's fair, isn't it? Well, it's a bit much.

It's fair. I reinvested. It was too much. I reinvested into brand new cars and houses for me to live in. Yeah, your mansion. That's why I'm not rich is because I invested so much when I wanted to join his church. My brother, my brother, preach, I said. I'm on the pulpit.

And then you said, give me 40% of your income. And I was like, my brother, if, I said. I'm on the pulpit. And then you said, give me 40% of your income. And I was like, my brother, if it is what the Lord wants. But do you know who made our church fail? Who? Them gays. Oh, the gays. Right. How did they make it fail?

With their gay power. With their gay power. Have you ever seen a rainbow? Have you ever seen a rainbow? It recharges the gays. Oh, and it dissolves churches, does it? Okay, I didn't know. Oh, my God.

If a rainbow hits your church, it dissolves the church. It's the woke layer. Yeah, it's like a lightning strike. Yeah. It's the woke. Okay, they must have some sort of evil Harry Potter magic. Yeah. They do, I think.

Number two on the list of the top six reasons none of us were on the rich list are Fletcher's Bitcoin buy-up at high prices and then panic fire sale at record lows. I think. Number two on the list of the top six reasons none of us were on the rich list. Fletcher's Bitcoin buy up at high prices and then panic fire sale at record lows. Yeah. I panicked, guys. I'm so sorry. Now I've got nothing. You said don't panic. And you did have some of them good Bitcoins, but you lost the hard drive.

I know. I lost my key. I need to download some more porn. I'm going to format this hard drive. And he formatted his Bitcoins away. I know. Now they're gone. P And he formatted his Bitcoins away. I know. Now they're gone. Poof.

All for a bit of porn. All for porn. All for porn. Some would say worth it. And number one on the list of the top six reasons none of us were on the rich list, Hayley's various MLMs that she's got into way too late. She never got the Mercedes. Multi-level marketing.

Yeah, multi-level marketing. Those leggings, though, they told me that every woman wanted to get into these leggings. And I was like, every woman. And they said, how many women are in New Zealand? And they said, millions. Millions. So I bought millions. They said, every woman's going to want them.

So I bought one for every woman. But they already all had them. Because you got in an eighth level of multi-level marketing, and that's about five years too late. Where's my BMW? Why am I still in the master? Yeah, I was going to say, you'll get that Mercedes any day soon. You keep going.

You won't. And your garage will be full of that shit that you can't get rid of forever. That's today's top six. You're going to love this. Okay, Uber's rating system, which sometimes it's rogue. I always give five stars unless they've almost endangered my life. Yeah, I'm always a five star. They're just making a living.

Or if the car stinks. Which it has before. Even if the car stinks, I'm five. I don't care. I mean, like you say, unless they like, I don't know, drove off a bridge. Yeah. But even then I'd probably be like, poor guy. I know. I know. Yeah, I'm sorry.

He lost his car. Five stars. Five stars. So you're going to love this, Fletch. Five stars for no cars. Five stars, no cars. New Plymouth Mayor, Neil. My hometown. Neil Holden. Yeah. Perfect five out of five star rating.

Wow. How many rides has he taken? To be fair though, Uber's only been in New Plymouth, what, the last few years. Hasn't been there long. Next time we go down there, I'm actually going down there later in the year. Maybe I'll invite him to my show and then we'll have a few drinks and I'll get in the Uber and I'll shun him and I'll just get it down. Yeah, ruin his rating.

Do you know what I mean? I'll like consciously just drink too much and he'll be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I'll be like, can we share an Uber home? I love this. So is it News Hub? Yeah, News Hub. They reached out. Or News Shub.

We're still not sure. Yeah, News Shub reached out to Mears. No, RNZ did it. Or did they? RNZ and then News Hub shared the story. Because it had big spin-off energy. It did have big spin-off energy. Okay, so RNZ, tip of Oh, did they? RNZ and then News Hub shared the story. Because it had big spin-off energy. It did have big spin-off energy. It does have big spin-off energy.

Okay, so RNZ, tip of the hat to them. So New Plymouth Mayor is the highest Uber rating for a mayor in New Zealand. He said he primarily uses them in Auckland and Wellington when he's there for work. Political reasons. Okay, now I asked the question just before, did they provide a screenshot to the journalists or did they just say my Uber rating is... Oh, that's a good call, I don't know. Because if you were low, you'd lie, right? I'm unsure.

I'm unsure. Now, there is an Uber driver as part of this article who has said how they will give people a low rating. Yeah. Touching parts of the car they're not supposed to. Oh, what?

I love cranking on a handbrake in the middle of the motorway. Yeah, I love doing that a lot. Hey, well, let's have a fun time. Yeah, undoing the seatbelt, knocking it into neutral, all those sorts of fun things. Yeah, drinking alcohol in the car. Okay. And inappropriate language.

See, that's, and I said yesterday, my Uber rating's gone down a couple of points because I think it was a 4.94 and now it's a 4.90. I blame my friends. Yeah. Vulgar mouths. Okay. Lower Hut Mere, Campbell Barry.

Yeah. This is sort of my hood. Yeah. 4.98. Oh, that's good. That's delicious. That's nice. Gisborne Mere, Raheet Stoltz.

Yeah. 4.93. Yeah, well done. That's great. Nelsonisborne Mayor, Raheet Stoltz, 4.93. Yeah, well done. That's great. Nelson Mayor, Nick Smith, 4.84. We're getting down. 4.84. But he was in government for a while,

so I imagine you just need a lefty Uber driver and you're never going to get a five. You're never going to give him a five. Now, this is, I mean, unsurprising to me. Auckland Mayor, Wayne Brown. Yeah. 4.7. Do you reckon he's gotten in some foul language in there?

He's got language in there. He's got it. 4.7. He's probably asked the driver where he's from. And you're like, oh, for God's sake. Yeah. 4.7 is low. And then the driver's like, Mount Roskill.

He's like, no, you know what I mean. Where are you from? Mount Roskill. Classic boomer. No. You know. He's definitely one of the lowest. Is he?

Your skin tone. Where's it from? This accent of yours. Where is that? That name. Mount Roskill. I told you, Mount Roskill. That name that's on your bloody ID.

Oh, well, fine. Where do your parents come from? Yeah. Mount Roskill. They moved in from Manurewa. Do you know RNZ also asked government ministers for their ratings? Yeah. All of them declined.

Oh. What are they hiding? What are you hiding? What are they hiding? We've set ours on here. I do love that the mayorres played along, though. Yeah, I love this. Wayne Brown's the lowest.

That is wild. That's not all the mares, though. Nah. There's a few mayors not on that list. Nah. What about the Wellington mare? Because remember she had that bar thing. Remember that?

Yeah. Well, I'd say tread lightly. I'd say treadread Lightly. I'd say Tread Lightly. Let's not mention that. We won't mention that. We won't mention that. We won't mention that one. Don't mention it.

Don't mention it. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So Bad Bunny was performing a show. Singer? Yeah. Rapper? Mm-hmm. Musician.

Performing in Puerto Rico. And he's singing like this. Doodle-a-d. Mm-hmm. Musician. Performing in Puerto Rico. And he's singing like this. Do-da-da-da-da-da. That's exactly how Bad Bunny sings. Do-da-da-da-da-da-da. That's actually why he's so popular. He sings exactly like that. Let me hear it, Puerto Rico.

Sing it back to me. Do-da-da-dale-oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle. So Bad Bunny's doodle-oodle-oodle-oodling on stage. And then I would say the dancer, they were doing a bit of bumping and grinding, shall we say. You know, like backed up into him for a moment. Well, you try having someone saying doodle-oodle-oodle-oodle, you're not automatically be like,

it's time to bump and grind. It's a magnet. Yeah. My butt's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's happening? You doodle-oodle-oodle-oodle me. Yeah. Now this dancer backs up on him

for a sexy moment, tries to walk away, but the zip on his crotch snags her pantyhose and as she walks away, Pantyhose? The pantyhose

are like, whoo, and they like stretch. Ragged out. And then she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm caught. Is it actually pantyhose or is it like leggings?

Pantyhose. Is it pantyhose? Yeah. Leggings are like tight, like Lululemon's. Yeah, right, but they're like. Pantyhose. Like Nana pantyhose. Like stockings.

Stockings. Yeah, stockings. Why are you so up about pantyhose? I don't know, it's just weird. Like what is she, like 80? Is the singer 80? Is she a Nana? They're just flesh-coloured pantyhose. Oh, yeah, okay. Those are definitely pantyhose? I don't know. It's just weird. What is she, like, 80? Is the singer 80? Is she a nana? They're just flesh-coloured pantyhose.

Oh, yeah, okay. Those are definitely pantyhose. That's such a great photo. That's such a great photo. Oh, my God. It's literally snagged him and is pulling them. Yeah. Like, she's a foot away from him.

She's a foot away and she's like, ah, ah. And her pantyhose are caught in his crotch. That would have a big rip. Yeah. Yeah, I know. So, anyway, she does. She, like, unsnags herself and carries on. But everyone's like, ha, ha, ha.

We saw your pantyhose get caught in a zipper. How embarrassing when your clothes get caught on things. I know. Literally. When you walk past a door and like. You got a jacket on? Yeah, and it snags on the door handle. Yeah, that door's dead.

That door's dead. Yeah. I'll put my fist through it. Or it rips through, rips off a pocket. Nothing like kills a mood, eh? Like trying to leave and something gets caught. This is the phoner that has popped

into my mind is, when did your clothes get caught? Like, maybe it got like, you know people doing those giant drop things at um, what are they called? Theme parks. Theme parks. Yeah. And have you seen those ones where like people's like clothes get snagged in the in the thing before they drop it? parks. Yeah. And have you seen those ones where people's clothes get snagged in the thing before they drop it?

No. Yeah, have you not seen the one where the chick's caught on the thing and her hoodie gets caught and she's like, ah! And it drops and the hoodie just stays up there. It's like an interior head off.

Yeah, you'd rather your hoodie than your actual head. Yeah, than your head. That's always sunny in Philadelphia when she gets her braid caught in the in the top of the giant drop

yes yeah and it rips it out and it rips it off sweet D scalps her a little bit sweet D wow but anyway

that is what I want to know is when your clothes got caught on something beyond just snagging a pocket on a door and it ruining your day but maybe you gotta

we talked about this when you get... How embarrassing it is when your skirt's shut in the door. Oh, yeah. You see the skirt dragging in the mud.

Yeah, and then you get out and you stand up and the wet, because it's been outside, touches your leg and you're like... Love that. Okay, well, give us a call.

0800-DARLS-AT-M. We're going to take your calls now. Text through 9696. That's a scary piece of machinery. Oh, yeah. Oh,-DARLS-AT-M. We're going to take your calls now. Text through 9696. That's a scary piece of machinery. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Your clothes got in the machinery. When did your clothes get caught or snagged on something?

When did you get snagged? When did you get caught? Maybe did you knock yourself out because you walked past and a door or a latch kind of caught you? Love it. When did your clothes get caught? We're being very silly and we want to know when your clothes got caught on something

because a dancer's pantyhose got caught on Bad Bunny's crotch and it's really tickled me. It's a great video and great photos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She really got snagged. She got snagged on the little claws of the zipper of his crotch. For me, it's always, there's this little, you know those latches that, where the

door thingy goes in? Yes. What are those called? You know they like go against the door and then the and then the bit runs, the latch runs into it and over it. I'd call it the door click.

What did you think I said? I'm googling. Say out loud what you think I said? Parts of it. I'm Googling. Say out loud what you thought I said. Door latch. The bit that goes on the wall. It's called the strike plate. Strike plate. Strike plate.

So there was a strike plate in my old room and every time my T-shirt would get caught in it, I was like, ugh. Because it was just the way that I'd walk out the door. You want to flip a table, eh? Oh, my God. Every time. The lever, like when you've got track pants on

and you're going backwards out a door or backing out or trying to move something and the track pant pocket gets on the lever of the door and you keep walking and it goes... You just give up on the day when that happens. You're like, eh, I'm out. I'm done. They ruined it. We want to know from you this morning,

when your clothes got caught or snagged, Becky, what happened? My mum was stuck at the top of the slide because she got the back of her jersey hooked on the top, but she was holding my baby sister as a baby. She couldn't let the baby

go, so she had to shimmy herself out of the jersey and hold the baby and go down the slide in her bra. Oh! So she just got herself free. And especially back then, the landings for slides were often concrete or bark, not

like cushy, rubbery mats like they are now. Yeah, and it was like a good old metal slide, so you couldn't exactly just let the baby go. Oh, my God. That's amazing. Becky, thanks for your call.

Angela, what happened? What did you get stuck on? I got stuck on a chairlift. Oh, no. I do love seeing photos of people on toes and chairlifts that get stuck. Yeah, I was about seven. I was seven and my jacket, like little toggle, got stuck in there. Yeah, trying to see.

So as I was trying to get off, it just kind of got dragged. Oh, really? I thought I was going to die. Yeah. It was, yeah, I had to operate it to stop the chairlift. It was great. And so they, emergency, stopped the chairlift and then they had to kind of, what, fish you out of the chair?

Yeah, toggle, toggle, man. It's so degrading that all they ever do is turn the toggle 90 degrees and it slips back through the gala. Yeah, okay. Oh, no. Oh, no. I made a scene. Angela, thanks for your call.

Ask some more messages. I did gymnastics for years and on the parallel bars, always ready for thumbs to get stuck on pockets. How does a parallel bars going between the bars and your thumbs get stuck in pockets? Going around the parallel bars. And they said one time my thumbs got caught in both of my pockets and just tore my shorts apart.

But isn't that a better option? Oh, a male gymnast. Because... I was trying to think of a leotard, but a male gymnast. Would be doing it in short shorts. Yeah, so you'd move your arms and you'd be like... And you'd rip your shorts. Oh, my God, media.

Better than ripping your thumbs back, right? Just looking at both your thumbs and then face-planting under the parallel bars. I work in a government agency with a lot of paper files that can never be destroyed. I was carrying a tray of four coffees and my jacket got caught in the door handle. But I was, like, walking with a bit of pace. Now, it spun me to one side. The four coffees flew into jacket got caught on the door handle but I was like walking with a bit of pace. Now, it spun me to one side. The four coffees

flew into a shelving unit filled with files so some people's forever files have coffee stains on them. What are these forever files? I'm more on this please. Like secret spy stuff? Maybe secret spy stuff.

It's got to be secret spy stuff. But now it looks like a pirate map because they stained it with coffee. Yes. Climbing out of a roof, overalls got caught on a nail and the ladder fell and I was stuck

hanging like something from a cartoon. Oh my God. It'd be up here and it'd be pulling at the crotch and you'd be like, ew, ew, ew.

Oh, that's embarrassing. So a nail is just holding you to the roof? Yeah. Well, they can hold a lot, can't they? Great ad for a nail. Depends on the nail.

It really depends on the nail. Yeah. My little sister was getting off the bus. We've got marine grade nails so that was because you had to because of this because you live so near the beach yeah yeah it's been a side thought it's not more expensive it's more of a stream it's more of a uh it's a salty ball it's a salty ball it's a salty ball it's a cold people put that on the real estate yeah beautiful views. Nearby beach, Ford Slash, Salty Bog. Salty Bog,

lovely. My little sister in primary school was getting off the bus and the bus door shut on her backpack. Luckily the bus only rolled forward a couple of metres before realising. This happens, I've seen it happen,

it's terrifying. Yeah. Sometimes I think they'll do it to the kids at Dilly Dally though. Yeah. Give them a bit of a fright so they won't do it again. Oh my God.

This is worst nightmare stuff. I was interviewing someone, diagnostic interviewing someone on camera for the police. More on that please. Yeah. And some of them Forever Files. And some of the Forever Files. Went to take a break, pushed my chair back

and my elasticated skirt got caught on the bottom of my chair, and my skirt completely came down on camera. Oh, no. Thank God I was wearing a petticoat. Wow. Because that's the thing with the elastic skirts, especially have you seen those ones where people, like, stand on the front? Yes.

And the whole thing goes like, ooh. You nearly flashed your diagnostics. We nearly diagnosed you you got a full diagnostic analysis yeah I was travelling in Greece going down an escalator

in a long maxi dress at the bottom I got caught in the bottom of the escalator and I was walking away so it fully stretched and ripped and it started

eating my dress I was desperately screaming trying to become unstuck next minute it's bums out in the middle of a busy Greece and I had to complete my day tour bums out in the middle of a busy grease.

And I had to complete my day tour with some weird tie-up remedy of a ripped remains of a maxi skirt. Oh, God. Hey, they got you a maxi skirt, though, because there's plenty of skirt to go around. Yeah. A maxi can quite quickly become a midi, which can quite quickly become a mini. I was sitting on the floor at work at a childcare centre.

I went to stand up, not realising I was standing on my dress. When I stood up, it popped all the buttons off. My dress button popped top to bottom. The kids saw my bum. Everybody laughed. I had to pin it for the rest of the day. They said that's the worst moment of their life. I hope for the rest of your life that's the worst moment of your life

because that's not the worst thing. No. People have terrible things happen to them. Yeah. If popping some buttons and some kids seeing your bum is the worst thing

that's ever happened. Although you know those kids are going to remember that forever. It's literally going to be the story that kind of goes with your name.

I was living in London. Friend got her skirt caught in the tube doors. They shut and took off but for some reason it grabbed onto the side and it just went rip, rip, rip.

Oh, imagine just standing in the underground and all of a sudden you're just in your knickers you're like hello everybody and everyone's like oh they probably don't even bat an eyelid yeah they see that kind of crazy every day right yeah yeah if you're in london yeah you're like oh another nude Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole, are you having a Euro summer? Anybody in here having a Euro summer? Anybody else? Maybe.

I'm ripping fingers at Fletch who's got travel plans and I'm just going to steam in Parliament. Airpoint's not kids, remember that. get Airpoints Not Kids. Remember that? Airpoints Not Kids. Airpoints Not Kids. Put that on the horse. Life's short. Get Airpoints Not Kids. Chuck that.

That's probably June. We'll put that on June. June, July. Good quote. Make Airpoints Not Babies. Yeah, great. Yeah, good. Collect Airpoints Not

Shithead Kids. Yeah, great. Yeah, good. Collect air points, not shithead kids. Yeah, not, collect air points. What do you collect? What do you collect when you've got kids? Sperm. No, it changes. Collect air points,

not sperms. Very different. Is that a B? Yeah. Yeah. There's something there, though. There's something there. There's something there for our inspirational.

Generate air points, not kids. Yeah. We'll brainstorm this one. It's good. There's something for our end of year calendar for sure. Motivational calendar. Senator Powell, are you having a Euro summer? 86%, 88% saying no.

Yeah. 12% saying yes. It's quite a lot when you think about it. It's quite a lot. And then I wonder if we said, are you having a mid-year holiday? Because that doesn't include people that are going to go to the islands. I know so many people popping off to Rara or Fiji in the next wee while. Give me a bit of Rara.

Oh, yeah. You love a bit of Rara, don't you? I've never been. I know. I love a bit of the mooring fish sandwich, basically. Travel internationally for something. It's that. It's that, yeah.

Jessie said, I'm here right now. Shut up, Jessie. Hey, Jessie, why don't you shut up? Why don't you shut up, get off Instagram and enjoy your holiday. Hey, she's making air points. Not babies. You don't making air points, not babies. You don't make air points, though, that's all. Earn air points, not.

What about earn? Earn, is there an earn with the kids? Earn air points, not. Not. Love and affection from your offspring. Yeah. I'm going to check in with you in these upcoming teenage years to see how that's going. How the love and affection continues.

Gwyneth says, I went through a breakup. How true? Gwyneth, how true? Yeah, to Chris Martin. Went through a breakup to Chris Martin. An unconscious coupling. How can we remember? If you're a Gwyneth now, you never break up with someone

you consciously uncouple. Yeah, you have to. Gwyneth says, went through a breakup. I'm not going to be single and cold. So she's off to Europe. Yeah, good. She's off to Europe. Also, good. She's off to Euro. Don't tell me she's cold. She's got those, you know,

goop haters. You know what I mean? Eat a burger. If you're cold. Ivy says, because we're having a Euro winter snowboarding in the Alps, baby. So she's not going for summer. She's going for winter at the end of the year. That's lovely. That's nice. Erica moved to Dublin last year in December.

Had a white Christmas, been freezing cold and working hard, but now my boyfriend and I are spending the summer travelling everywhere. Worth it. Nice. That's good. She's been over there. She's had the miserable winter and earned the beautiful summer. Yeah, good.

Morgan was supposed to be, but now we're having a baby instead. Oh! Did she not? Earned air points. Not babies. Book trips, not sonograms. What about book trips, not babies? Book trips on midwives.

Book trips, not. Feel free to help out on the text machine. Plunket appointments. What about poo-ket, not plunket? That's pretty good. That's good. That's pretty good. Life's short. Poo-ket, not plunket. Poo-ket, not Plunkett? That's pretty good. That's good. That's pretty good.

Life's short. Pooh Cat, not Plunkett. Pooh Cat, not Plunkett. That's good. That's good. Yeah, great. It's good for me. Really good. Yeah.

Stick it on a horse. Earn air points, not brownie points. Oh, yeah. Collect air points, not responsibilities. Oh, yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah. Air points, not offspring.

Yep. Oh, no. I'm not going to read that out. That's very naughty. I want to have a look. Collect airpoints, not airheads. Oh, for God's sake. Maldives, not midwives. Yes, that's good.

That's good. All these are great. Trips, not trimesters. That's pretty good. Oh, I like that one. Generate airpoints, not generations. Nah, that's a bit delusory. That's a mess you've got there.

Collect airpoints points Not dependents Yeah Make air points Not ears Air points Not offspring Collect air points We'll know it when we see it

No, some of those Are really good though Yeah, yeah, yeah They're good They're good stuff I mean, you get the gist Oh no, Morgan We've got to get the right one

A loose Euro summer plan And now she's having a baby I mean That sucks Do you think you'd always I'd always resent that baby For, you know Ruining my Euro summer

Ruining my Euro summer Like, I was going to go to the Zagat festival Now I've got this kid That's shitting everywhere Yuck To be honest I've seen some people at Zagat They're shitting everywhere too

Depends on the person Depends on the person Caitlin says I know, but my best friend is And I'm mad about it people that get that shit everywhere too. Depends on the person. Caitlin says, no, but my best friend is and I'm mad about it. Yeah. Sam, no, because of Cosi Livi cry.

Emily, I wish I could, but chose a mortgage instead. Yeah. Ali said, I'm from the UK, so just the Euro summer is $50 plane ticket a while.

So she's, Ali's one of our UK listeners. It's so cheap when you live over there, isn't it? First time to Europe ever, going to see Taylor Swift play live at Wembley with my best friend who lives in England. I thought this this morning. Taylor Swift's still touring. I know. Have a nap, do you know what I mean? People are going,

I mean, even people from New Zealand, but people are going from the States to go... Stop talking about it. To Europe, just because it's cheaper. Get a barley belly, not a baby belly. Oh, yes! That's good. That is good. Is that my favourite?

Yes, it's my favourite. Stick it on a horse. That is it. Fly! Don't multiply. Oh, that's good. That's also really good. Could we have a few of them scattered around numerous horses?

But one page. Multiple horses. Each horse has its own slogan. This is, by the way, this is our horse calendar for the end of the year. It's going to be for 2025. Every month is a horse, but there's a motivational quote on the page. Generated by yours truly. Yeah.

Love that. Air points, not hair. Like, hair points. Air points, not hair. Oh, points. Air points, not hair. Oh, okay. Air points, not air. It's a bit clever. It needs to rhyme with points.

Air points, not air joints. Air points, nothing to do with air points. I don't want Air New Zealand getting this free publicity. That's your flyer miles. What are they worth? Frequent flyer. Points. We'll make it air points.

Frequent flyer, not supervisor. No, not flyer. No, that sucked. That sounded better in my head. Oh, you were so excited. Why did you get so excited? That was the worst one. That was the worst one ever.

That was the worst one. You were so excited. Roams a flyer. What rhymes with points? Points not. Joints. Roams a points. Points.

Anoints. Anoints. Blue points. Break points. Cash points Check points We certainly got some good ones there So thank you listeners

For your feedback there Frequent flyer Offspring synonym Look I think we've got enough I think we've got Thanks for messaging in Frequent flyer Not fertiliser

Nah that sucks Doesn't work Passifier Oh frequent flyer Not pacifier It's not there. I think barley belly is my favourite so far.

Barley belly. Get a barley belly, not a baby belly. Yeah. Next on the show, speaking of... Frequent flyer, not frequent crier.

The baby's there. We've lost him. Frequent flyer is not feces supplier. Oh, for God's sake. Some of these are not good. I know. I think we lost him,

my dude. Speaking of offspring, we want to talk about one of your children next. She's 10 at the end of this week, which... Whoa. What? It's one of those moments where you're like, that's freaky. Where did that go? That even makes me feel old.

That's freaky deaky. Well, if it makes you feel old, last night she made Aaron feel like a fool. An absolute fool. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley's partner feel like a fool. An absolute fool. You may have heard us mention that we've got a couple of members of the Gaggle moving to the UK. That's our friend group. Yeah. Yeah.

Now, by the way, when the last one leaves tomorrow, are we taking them out of the group chat? They are. It's a awkward day. It's Toddy's biggest concern that when he leaves, there'll be sort of a New Zealand only group chat. Or do we sidearm? Or do we just start a whole new one?

I'll start a new one. Gaggle NZ, gaggle worldwide. Yeah. Because they're going to be over having their fun doing their OE. I don't want to see that. Everyone's on their OE. I don't want to see that. Everyone's on mute. Yeah, I don't want to see that. Okay, cool.

Yep. Okay. Well decided. Gaggle NZ. Decided. Rolling past. Wait till they leave, maybe. Yeah.

I reckon we do it when they're on the plane. Yeah. They don't know they'll land. Communication's gone quiet. Yeah. New group. But Toddy is leaving and he said yesterday he was passing past our place. So did anybody want to catch up? And Sade hadn't seen him.

And so she was like, yes. And then some friends of ours, Jake and Kasia. And then we were going to go down and have a beer with them. And then Sade said, should I invite Hayley and Aaron? And I said, don't, because Hayley's been telling me how she... Did you say don't? I said, don't, because Hayley's been telling me

that she's been burning the candle at all ends. And this week was going to be her recharge week. And she was absolutely going to be like recharging and good and being well behaved. And Sade said, I'm going to message her anyway. And I said, oh, well. And then I said, she'll say no. And then Hayley messaged Sade back immediately.

Yep, be there soon. I'd already had quite a few tequilas at this point. Yeah. Okay. How's that? I was hungry. She's recharging. I'm recharging.

I need to have a word to you about how you recharge. I'm recharging, man. Eating well. Oh, my God. I mean, if there's going to be a drink to recharge to, it's going to be a margarita. Yeah, it was fresh. Fresh a lot.

Do you know why? The lime tree is already giving. So I went out, because they drop on the ground so quickly. I went out and I juiced all these limes. And I was like, what, am I just going to put it in the fridge? What a waste. Oh, look at that margaritas. Okay.

It's zero waste. Yeah. We should be proud of her. They were basically free. All I had to do was buy a bottle of tequila and some Cointreau. Yeah. To use the limes. The lime was all free. Otherwise it was going to be waste waste. Yeah. We should be proud of her. They were basically free. All I had to do was buy a bottle of tequila and some Cointreau. Yeah. To use the lime. The lime was all free.

Otherwise it was going to be wasteful. Yeah. We're going to tip it down the drain. We at the local pub, which has got a chess board, it's missing some pieces. Yeah. And August, who turns 10 this weekend, which blows my mind because I always do that thing.

I'm like, 10 years ago, August was born. And 10 years before that, I do that thing. I use a pivotal point ago August was born and 10 years before that I do that thing. We just started here. Hadn't we? 10 years ago ZM. Yep. Just after that August was born and 10 years before that we'd just started working together. So now we've been working together as long

without August as with. That's wild. That's crazy. That's what I can't stop my brain from thinking about. That's mad. A pivotal time point and what happens either way. Yeah. Anyway, she set up the chessboard and we had a game and, well, I beat her. Of course. Good. I like that you don't let her win. I'm not trounced.

I'll make, if I can see something's about to happen, I'll be like, hey, have a think about it. But I never tell her what to do. I'm like, hey, have a think about it. Right. Okay. And then she, so I beat her and she's like, ah, and then she sets it up again and that's kind of when Hayley and Aaron

arrive and August is kind of like playing against herself seeing what moves work where and Aaron Aaron plonks himself down and twists the board

a little bit and he's like I'll play against you which August loves she wants to play against someone and one team was

at an advantage at that stage and Aaron took the team at a disadvantage but immediately he's like oh yeah that's check that's check and then August was like one move

she took the rook and she was like hmm and moved it like a few squares one way and then just kind of looked at it and then Aaron was like huh and looked at it and he's like I'm 32 years older than this little witch. And she's just checkmated me. Wow.

Okay. She was so, she played it cool at the time. Yeah. Car ride on the way home. She was like, did anybody actually see when I did that? Because that was pretty good. That was pretty good. But I got Aaron checkmate so quickly.

And I was like, oh yeah, he did start at a slight disadvantage. And she was like, yeah, but he's older than me. Yeah. Just by a little bit. Yeah. And then Indy was telling me they had a school chess thing. They went to another school. Yeah. And one of the teachers got beaten by like a year three. And so then this teacher

was like, all right, you're obviously one of the best here. Come outside. We'll play basketball. so then this teacher was like, alright, you're obviously one of the best here. Come outside. We'll play basketball. And then this teacher just absolutely dunked on this year three. Oh my god, I love that. Just to re-establish that this child was not better than him physically.

Mentally, he may have outsmarted him a game of chess. And then Mr. Shrimpton takes this year three outside and just like starts slam dunking on them. I love that. Take that year three. Now what? Now what? I see this as a 90s

trend but arguably the suffragettes loved a rosette. Didn't they? They had the little rosettes on their things when they marched for women's. Were they embroidered or actual? Yeah, they were like silk rosettes, weren't they?

With the different layers, like you'd win for a prize. And my great auntie Elaine used to wear her National Party rosette on voting day when she was manning the booth. Really? I don't think National Party rosettes are back, but rosettes are.

Rosettes are, particularly the sort of crocheted style. Now, Vaughan, you'll like this just out of a fashion standpoint. Purely from a fashion standpoint. Purely from a fashion standpoint. Ross Boss, you can get eyes on that as well. Do you like that? This little bikini top? Yeah, it's just for the fashion reasons.

Yeah, obviously not the model. No, not the model. Absolutely not. I didn't even see the model. I was just looking at the bikini. Why didn't she show me? She didn't show me. Oh, shoot.

Do you like a bit of that? Is that... Nah. Nah, not for you. That's why I thought she's not your type. You like a fuller one-piece, don't you? He likes a bit more coverage. Yeah.

He likes to keep his ladies modest. You like a big, big one-piece. Yeah. You like a big piece. I actually just prefer a blanket You're like a blanket This is from Miami Swim Week Which is apparently a huge

Fashion Kind of what sets the tone for what swimwear is going to be And rosettes So imagine like little sort of embroidered Roses really That's what's making up the majority of your top. Crocheted rosettes. You said you're in the 90s, but that kind of feels like 70s.

Yeah, it is almost. I actually, I suppose everything's cyclical. Yeah. Because the 90s was only 10 years ago, which is crazy. Are nipples getting bigger or smaller? Hayley, it was way longer than that. The 90s? No, five years ago tops. No, it was 10 years ago. The end of the 90s. Oh, you're talking about the sale of the 90s. Now it was the 2000 than that. The 90s? No, five years ago tops. No, it was 10 years ago.

The end of the 90s. Oh, you're talking about the sale of the 90s. Now it was the 2000s. Yeah. 10 years ago was the 90s. Well, this is like, they're amazing.

Here's more of a full coverage for you. Rosettes, they're on everything. But yeah, they're like jeans and yeah. And then Love Island's on at the moment and you know, they love us a little petite bikini. Yeah. They're rocking the rosettes.

Why are you concerned about the size of nipples? I was just wondering. Do you think there's something in our milk? But, you know, recently we talked about the average size of the male genitals. Yes. Getting larger. Do you think areolas are getting larger? Are nipples getting bigger?

What's the deal on the... Well, I don't know. Where are nipples at in the evolutionary... I might have sort of picked their size and they've sort of stayed that size. Yeah, but I'm thinking like generationally. Well, I don't know. I think have sort of picked their size and they've sort of stayed that size. Yeah, but I'm thinking like generationally. Well, I don't know. I think everyone's different, aren't they? We're all different. I know that. Even just between the people in this room

have got different size nipples. Do you know, somebody sent me overnight, there's this thing, Irish head. You know, I've got a very big head. It's an Irish trait. The big heads. And as they water down the Irishness with people from around the world, the heads are getting a little bit smaller, but for something about the big head. Well, you're watered down, but you've still got a massive head.

A massive head. How'd that happen? Do you like that one? Just the togs? I don't hate it. Yeah, good togs. Great togs. Well, if you look out, especially those-

I'm actually in the market for some togs. Can you send me the link to that? I'll send you the link. If you're heading off for a Europe summer, which we just talked about, and you're packing your bikini, chuck a rosette on it. Oh my God. Okay, there's a girl

named Jenna on TikTok and she's sharing her experience of being part of a clinical trial. She's earning $6,000 and what they do is they give her the flu. They literally like shove it up her nose, peg the nose. What?

I know, and then just wait for it to take. But that's not guaranteed to work, is it? Not guaranteed to work. You might have a great immune system. Yeah, exactly. I mean, they'll be testing multiple people, I guess. She's part of this trial. She got money for this. Yeah, $6,000.

American? It's £3,000. Alright, okay. That's good money. That's really good money. This isn't anything new though, right? No, I had a friend at, remember my friend in Dunedin when he was at uni, he did them all the time. Clinical trials.

I actually need to find out if he's dead. So listen to this. I was just looking in the comments and people are saying like, well, you know, why are they doing this? And it's like to study how the flu. And then someone messaged saying, my dad did this until the last time when him and his friend did it together, got the flu. Friend died. Because people do die from the flu, don't they?

Yeah, we forget this. We forget this. And we remembered it when COVID came about and we said, oh, it's just a flu and people die from the flu. don't they? Yeah, we forget this. We forget this. We remembered it when COVID came about and we said, oh, it's just a flu. And people die from the flu. We just don't talk about it. Turns out it was quite different. So do they, so part of this $6,000 New Zealand dollars

that you get for getting the flu, do you have to take the drugs that they want to fix it with? Yeah. Right. So the clinical trial is they've got to give it to you, the flu, which is kind of part of the dodgy bit, and then they're testing medication, like flu medication. So then they give it to you.

Untested on humans before this. Yeah, it'll be like animals and stuff. Tested on rats. Yeah. Which I'm very against animal testing, but then you're like, rats. But put it in rats. Put it in rats. Yeah.

Are we okay with testing lipstick and makeup on rats as well? No, we're not into that. We're not into that. They don't have big enough lips. My lips are bigger than a rat's lips. Yeah, no, but if you put a magnifying glass to a rat, they look big lips. Is that how it works? Not big enough lips.

No. Big lips. I mean, it would be great if they tested makeup on a rat and it gave it a big lip, and you'd be like, that's a sort of lip item. Plumping, yeah, yeah. Like it was self-plumping. But wait, so you're okay. It's a skinny-mouthed rat.

But you're okay with. Damn, that rat's going. I'm just saying if you're going to be pumping, you know, vaccines into things. Okay. Pump it into the rat. But what about if you tested the makeup on the rat while it was getting tested for vaccines?

Well, yeah, if the rat's already being used. You may as well make it look nice if it's already being used. There's a weekly report done by our health that tells you the current rate of the flu. But how do they know? From people going to the doctors and testing the flu. Oh, right. I don't go to the doctor when I have a flu.

I just suck it up. Yeah. But I'm a woman. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Anyway, this fascinates me. And you're probably one of those people that constantly says

you've got the flu, but all you've got is a bad cold. Yeah. I'm sorry, were you talking to me or were you talking to Aaron? So I need to get some antibiotics. Man flu is worse. For a virus. Yeah. Oh, darling.

Anyway, I'm so interested in this because I've never heard of doing a clinical trial, let alone done one myself. Yeah. Have you been part of a clinical trial? I want people to give us a call. Would you do it? It depends if it was for something that I had that it could cure. Like PCOS?

PCIS? Oh my God, I'd do anything. PSIS? NCIS. And then you've been through it, right? So you'd be like, if this does work and it cures it, then I can help people avoid everything that I've been through as part of it. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Like if it was something of benefit to you, like my, you know, my pop was the guinea pig for pacemakers in New Zealand. That's amazing. I'll shove it in. I'm going to die without one anyway. So if it doesn't work, I'm going to start. Did it work on him? Yeah, he lived into his 90s. And he had to carry around a car battery though, eh?

Yeah. Because he had to wheel it around. Yeah. And he was like, oh, have you got, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Had to wheel it around. Yeah, and he was like, oh, have you got one of those jumper cables? Yeah. I'm feeling a bit dizzy. And he'd just hook up to a Mazda

and pfft. Wild. Live another 10 years. It sure is. Now, have you been part of a clinical trial? That's what we want to know. Maybe you did it

for a bit of coin. Or maybe you did it because you have an ailment that you were like, wow, maybe this fixes it. A girl on TikTok in the UK got New Zealand equivalent of $6,000 to get the flu. They gave her the flu and then they tried to treat it.

Yeah. Because there is still no cure for the flu, is there? No. Apart from chicken soup and popsicles and sitting on the couch and lemon honey drinks. Lemon honey drinks. Lemon honey drinks. I could almost go with flu. Just you talking about sitting on the couch and lemon honey drinks. Lemon honey drinks. Lemon honey drinks. I could almost go with flu.

Just you talking about sitting on the couch having soup. Nah, the headache. The flu sucks. I reckon I've had the flu like once. So we want to know this morning,

have you done a clinical trial and, you know, like, were you paid for it? Anonymous joins us. Anonymous, you're currently doing one. Oh! I am.

I am. Not for the flu, though. Okay. I have a question because do they make you sign like an NDA, like a non-disclosure, like you're not allowed

to talk about doing this? Is that part of it? Oh, okay. All right. Not for this one, anyway. Okay. So what's it for? Weight loss.

Oh, like what kind of thing? Like a shot? No, it's pills. But I only just, just made the cut. Right. Did you have to be a certain weight or size? Yeah. You have to be a certain size and you have to weigh in at a certain weight or above a certain weight. Right. So are you testing a magical pill that could mean we don't have to exercise?

I wish. Yeah. Okay. So what's it proposed to do, this pill that you're trying? Sorry? What is it proposed that it will do? Assist weight loss, kill the appetite. What's the vibe?

I'm assuming, like most, it'll be an appetite suppressant. Right. Is it working? Do you think it's working? Because some people get the placebo. So you could be taking appetite suppressant. Right. Does it work? Do you think it's working? Because some people get the placebo. So you could be taking like a... I 100% think I'm getting the placebo. Oh, really?

Right. Otherwise, it's just not working if you are actually getting it. Yeah, no, it's not. I still want to eat the ass out of a dead horse. See, I think that might be the pills. I think that might be the pills I think that might be the pills because I have a wild appetite

but I've never wanted to hate the arsehead of a dead horse I've never heard that saying I love it That's what a grandad's saying My grandad's done that one a couple of times Anonymous, thank you for sharing

Love it Becky, you did a clinical trial This must have been a while ago Yeah, so I was 18. I'm now 34. And I was part of the first ever group of girls that got the HPV vaccine. Oh, my God. Amazing.

Wow. Which now is like widespread, isn't it? Yeah. Everybody gets it. Yeah. And we got paid in Westfield gift cards. Oh, that also sounds like a tax loop. A tax loop there.

Loophole. Oh, for God's sake. How much was the Westfield gift card for? Oh, that also sounds like a tax loop. How much was the Westfield gift card for? Oh, God, I think it was only like $50 at the time. Oh, my God. So, are you considered vaccinated against HPV?

Yeah, so I actually did the job. My sister's on it with me and she had cancer of cells. They went to take them out and they were gone. Wowza! That's the thing. That's the first vaccine against cancer, right? The HPV vaccine. Because I had the cancerous cells but I had to get it lasered up. Lasered off because the vaccine wasn't

around. We're the same age, basically. Yeah. Wow. That's mean. I see that's a great one to be part of. Yeah. It was on January 1st, 2017, the HPV immunisation became free for everyone aged 9 to 26 in New Zealand. So you would have been before then,

Becky? Yeah. Wow, that's incredible. What a story. It's amazing. Thank you for putting your body on the line, Becky. Ali, good morning. What was your clinical trial and how much did they give you? Good morning. I got $6,000

in the last year and it was for a diabetes study. Oh, okay. Hayley would be interested to know that I barely made the cut because I had been controlling my diabetes on Cheeto. Oh, God, yeah. Can I just say, Hayley, I love how you say diabetes. Diabetes. That's the southern accent.

Yeah, yeah, southern accent. Keto is good for diabetes. So do you have type 1 or type 2? Type 2. And that was the thing is when they did the first blood test, I didn't qualify so that my blood sugar was too good. So the night before, I had to retest and I ate three tablespoons of white rice. And it boosted. I think you're going to say I ate a pack of biscuits.

That's what I wish. The taxes is crazy because you, you, it's like you're self-employed. So I had to pay ACC and I ended up having to pay like $1,200. Oh, what? They tax it? Yeah. Yeah, that's why you want to get Westfield vouchers next time. Did the diabetes, the stuff they gave you, did it help with the diabetes?

Well, I don't know if I had the placebo or not, but I am on a list that they're supposed to continue to let you know how the study goes because our part was the first trials on humans. So it had been a lab up until that point. Was there any part of you though that you're the first trial for humans? There's no like alarm bells ringing there. There's no like, should I be doing this? No, no, because it really hampered my lifestyle.

So I went keto and changed it. And there's a lot of people who can't. So if there's a drug that can help somebody, I think that was just good to help. Well, that's what a zebra was for. But then all the celebs were like, wait, you can get skinny fast on this? Yeah, yeah.

Ali, thank you so much for sharing. We'll go to Vanessa. Vanessa, you did a clinical trial for a phobia of spiders. Yeah, so they were looking for people with arachnophobia. Yeah. And I signed up, and it turns out that they gave me ketamine to treat it. Sorry. What?

Isn't that illegal? Or it was like a micro-medical dose? Yeah, it was a micro-dose in orange juice, I think it was. Oh, orange juice. Or they didn't come up to you at a party and were like, Hey, can't you come into the bathroom? We're racking up some ketamine. Wow.

And I was like, yes. So how was it supposed to help with the fear of spiders? I'm not, I can't remember the psychology behind it, but it really did work. It was amazing. Wow. So did they then show you pictures of spiders after you'd taken this microdose?

It was VR and it was horrible. Oh my God. They VR headseted spiders? Yeah. after you'd taken this microdose? It was VR and it was horrible. Oh, my God. They VR headsetted spiders? Yeah. Yuck. But now do you feel you're cured of your phobia? No, it only worked in the moment.

Right. So you've got to upkeep your ketamine. So if you were going for like a walk in the jungle, you'd take a microdose. No, I wouldn't. I don't think I would go in the jungle on ketamine. I'd advise against microdosing on ketamine before going for a walk in the jungle, you'd take a microdose. No, I wouldn't. I don't think I would go in the jungle. I advise against microdosing on ketamine before going for a walk in the jungle. And how much did they pay you, Vanessa? I think it was $250, so it was worth it.

Okay. And a little bit of ketamine, like a little bit of... Yeah. Wow. And you're interested, Vanessa. Thank you. I just did a quick using ketamine to treat phobias, and it's the ketamine's effects on anxiety and fear-related behaviours

are the same properties that make it a depression treatment. Yeah. It's quite not well known for depression, isn't it? Getting into a lot of research into microdosing on various things. They are. Acid, MDMA, all sorts. My dad has been in a clinical trial for type 2 diabetes for 2 years

he's been a type 2 for 20 years he no longer is in the diabetic range oh wow that's amazing is it like an ozempic drug

I don't know maybe oh my god someone said I've done 15 trials which gave me enough money for a house deposit

what yeah but their liver could stop working and like they could have a fourth arm and they're gonna need a spare room

for their extra personality. Their brains decided to manifest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For Sarah. I did an RSV vaccine trial during my last pregnancy. RSV? RSV is the...

Racing super vehicle. No, it's the breathing thing, and it affects old people and young babies the worst. Oh, yes, yes, yes. I had a real problem with it a couple of weeks ago. Respiratory. Respiratory virus. Yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Tears around. We had a real problem with it a couple of weeks ago. Respiratory. Oh, yes. Respiratory virus. Yes.

Yeah, it gets real bad. It's real bad for kids. So they got the vaccine while the baby was in utero. A couple of other people are on the same trial as Anonymous. It's insulin-resistant medicine, but either does nothing or I'm also one of the placebo tests. Yep. I'm doing that same weight loss trial.

It's not about your size per se. It's about eating habits and seeing how weight loss medication suppresses appetite and how in turn that affects weight loss. Right. Based on different eating habits. Interesting. It's not all happening. My brother-in-law did a medical trial and he ended up with 21 diabetes out of it.

What? 21 diabetes? He got diabetes. So that's the one that just happens. Just happens out of the blue. Through no fault of your own. Are you born with it or you're born with the markers that will make it happen? I don't know.

I partook in a clinical trial a few years ago where I was given the COVID jab and the flu jab at the same time. Easiest $750 I've ever made. And boy, my 5G reception's awful. And they're magnetic. Oh my God. I had a friend in Canada who did this as a job. Would just do a few trials

for three months in a facility that did tons of trials. Get paid like 20 grand and then go travelling. Oh my God, wow. He's on his 35th country. What are we doing here?

And 12th toe. Jab me up. And 12th toe. A couple extra toes will help you when you're back climbing mountains. Clay, Zed Eames, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

It's calendar week here at Factory Day, and thanks to the overwhelming support I received overnight after my two rocketed moron co-hosts couldn't quite comprehend too much information at once about where the months got their names. I think the feedback was that it was overwhelming. There was a lot to take in, Vaughan. We understood it. I understood it, but it just...

It went on. It just went on and on and on and on. Well, there's 12 months. So I lost interest. Imagine if I didn't do all the months. We'll focus on just one month at a time. The current month would have just made sense. Being that you couldn't handle 12 months

and where they got their name from, you're going to love today's fact of the day of the traditional Japanese calendar with 72 micro-seasons. Oh, my God. Should we pop calendar with 72 micro-seasons. Oh, my God. Should we pop out? 72 micro-seasons. As long as we don't end up going through all 72, I'll be happy.

Oh, we will. Number one. So there's 24 categories and each of them have three or four underneath them. Right. But it's all to do with the agriculture of Japan. Right. So they would, for example, what's the date today? It is June.

Let's scroll down to June. And it is June 11th. Oh, we're at the start of one. Rotten grass becomes fireflies is today's micro season in Japan. What? Rotten grass becomes fireflies. What's the next season? The next one starts on the 16th of June.

Plums turn yellow. Then we move into the summer solstice, which is the next group. Yeah. And your June 23rd, your birthday, South Hill Withers is your micro season. Okay. Can I have mine? Yep.

What's your date again? October 8th. Yeah. October 8th. Oh, wild geese return. The wild geese return. That's my season. Because it's the beginning of the autumn.

It's like some crazy old man writing in his calendar. It's the cold dew. Plums turn yellow. I know it is. It is basically a gardening calendar. February, I'm at the start. February 20th. Rain moistens the soil.

That's quite fitting. I feel like with climate change, this Japanese calendar is out the window. It has changed. They said it definitely has changed. Well, they're going to have to reword it. Get another old man to come up with some more appropriate ones. Ice caps melting.

Yeah. Non-seasonal tropical cyclone destroys seaside fishing village. It was 18 degrees in Auckland this morning. That sort of thing. That's 11th of June. Give me a random date and I'll tell you what was happening. 5th of July. 5th of July is the crow dipper sprouts.

What? Just after the iris is blown. How are you supposed to remember all this? You're going to have to bring this fact of the day back tomorrow. Worn winds blow. Why do I need to bring it back tomorrow? I'm telling you. It was an officially recognised calendar for traditional ancient Japan.

By the way, have you watched Shogun yet? No. Are you saving that up or are you not interested? I'm not interested. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm going to go back and finish it. The Shogun series on Disney Plus,

and Aaron was watching it because I talked to him about it after the first two episodes and I said what I'm going to do is I'm going to bank him up and just smash him out as quickly as I can. What's it about? Why are you talking to my fiance behind my back?

What have you guys got going on? Well, we've got to talk about something after sex. That's hot. We talk about it. PlayStation games and Disney Plus shows we like. When you cuddle. Yeah. Can you do Christmas Day?

We had a request. Christmas Day. Christmas Day is... Yes, someone's listening. ...South Hill Sprouts. Oh, my God. It's Christmas Day. Christmas Day is self-heal sprouts. Oh, my God. It's Christmas Day. Some sprouts that are self-healing.

December to just after is when the deer shed antlers. What about January the 1st? January the 1st, wheat sprouts under snow. Because, of course, it's their winter. It's just all sprout-based. Yeah. There's a lot of sprouts. All things sprout.

Okay. Well, spring thaw. Done. Hens start laying eggs. January 30 to Feb 3. That's your hen starts laying eggs week. I think we're done here. Can we wrap it up?

We can totally be done here. Wrap it up. I'm happy with it. But if anybody's into a little bit of traditional Japanese calendar, you know the guy to talk to. That was the only message we had about it. I think everyone else might have just popped off. We'll watch a bit of show.

We'll change stations. Yeah. We're now just officially talking to each other. I'm yet to be impressed with calendar week. I'll be honest. October 8th, best day. That's from Carolyn. May 5th, frog starts singing.

This is your weakest fact of the day week we've ever had. It's not as interesting. It's fascinating. We just take a calendar for granted. It's just there every day. What day is it? June 11th. What day of the week is it?

Tuesday. It's a lot similar to sexy fireman facts if we're talking about calendars We should do fireman week Firefighters week I'll take a week off Yeah Hayley can do firefighter week I'll do firefighter week

Do firefighter week Yeah love that Not just the firemen the firewomen And the Dalmatians you can do a fact about Dalmatians Poles Many a peasant has thought

they could wear the crown better than the king Until the hefty weight of the crown is placed upon their head. Brussels sprouts under snow. Yeah, alright. Yum. The toad starts singing. Yes, it's sinking in. We're going to have some Japanese traditional calendar.

So today's fact of the day is there is a... That's all, folks. The traditional Japanese agricultural calendar has 72 micro-seasons. Stay tuned for Firefighter Week next week. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Ailey. Play ZM. We cannot help but notice Shannon has an air about her at the moment. She's up. She's on cloud nine. She's smiling brighter than ever before. Shannon, tell us why. New season of Below Deck Mediterranean is out at the moment

and I couldn't be happier. I have never watched Below Deck, ever. Oh, wake up. Someone's late. Someone's been snoozing. No, that's to post on our TikTok, FVHZM. Oh, beautiful little plug there. Wow, that was smooth.

Is 8.45am a good time for TikTok? That's our peak. That's our peak. Well, quickly, quickly. Well, we can wait. What are you posting on our TikTok? A video of you two being brats of Fletcher's apples. Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah, it's just me. I saw that video. It's very mean. The one that was on Instagram yesterday. How mean you are to me. I did watch it back, actually. I've hit post. Okay, post.

That's been posted. She was ready to go. Surely that could be an automatic thing. Is it not? No, no. You can't do that. That's why I have a job. So China's controlling us all.

Could we get AI to do Shannon's job? Well, you just put it out in the air, Shannon. You just talk yourself out of a job. No, so Below Deck, yeah, I've never watched it, but it's like cruise on rich super yachts. The greatest show of all time. The Sopranos might have something to say about that. Breaking Bad. The Simpsons, Cheers have something to say about that. Breaking Bad.

The Simpsons. Cheers. MASH. Sex and the City. There's five spin-off shows. I've seen all of them. I would say at least three times over. What happens in the spin-off shows?

Are they still on boats? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's Below Deck Med. There's Below Deck. There's Below Deck Adventure. Below Deck Down Under. It's the best show ever. My favourite person in the universe, I'd say,

is Aisha. She's a Kiwi. Vaughan encouraged her to message me, and now we've been chatting since. How are you friends of Aisha? I'm friends with lots of people. I don't know if you're quite caught on to this, but the V in VIP stands for Vaughan. Really? Vaughan is an important person. Vaughan is

precious. Vaughn is precious. Vaughn is precious. Was this a birthday treat or did you just tee it up? Why did you do it? You asked her to message Shannon because she's a big fan of the show. I can't remember. Oh, no, I remember. It's because you gave me a fright in the office and I cried and then you felt bad for me.

I remember it. It all adds up apart from the feeling bad part. Got ya. But no, one thing about my birthday, which is next-ish week, there is a VIP event and I get to meet Captain Sandy on my birthday. Captain Sandy.

Captain Sandy. And she's coming into work as well. She? Yes. A she naval captain? The greatest captain of all time is a woman. Are you taking umbrage? I'm taking umbrage.

In charge of a boat? What if she gets all frazzled? What if the waves get real big? Yeah. I love because you said to us, this is your memoir. When Jason messaged me and I was like beside myself, this is your version of that. Not only do I get to meet her twice on my birthday,

I get to like chat to her. And we get to meet celebrities. Do you want to sleep with her? Because it might be slightly different. She just got married. Oh. So who? What does that matter?

To a lovely lady. You completely ignored my question. Wait a minute, a lesbian in charge of a boat? I mean, to be honest, it makes more sense than a heterosexual woman. I feel safer. I feel safer than when she's a lesbian, actually. She's the greatest. So she's coming in here.

Yes. And, like, what am I going to do? We talk to celebrities all the time. Don't get stressed. Captain Sandy's coming in. I'm going to faint. I'm going to cry. What do I wear?

Oh, no, you've got to be cool. No, I can't be cool, though. You should wear a little sailor outfit. What is Captain Sandy's coolest thing? Like, what's Captain Sandy done? Has the ship been on a collision course with a rock, some rocks? There was pirates one time. There was pirates?

Yeah, not on the show, but she's talked about pirates and stuff. Real pirates. Okay, now that's very interesting. Or Mihati's pirates. No, like real ones. You're so excited. I almost feel like it would be funny just to cancel it, just to get to Shannon's.

Should we message her and be like, hey, cancelled. Or we put Shannon in a giant box and she can't see her. She can only talk to her through a hole in the box. That would be funny. Would that be funny? That would be really funny. We should do that. That's like a storyline from one of the actual greatest shows

of all time, Friends. Yes. Put them in a box, actual greatest shows of all time, Friends. Yes. Put them in a box, it should be naughty. No. Like I actually am quite stressed and I had a dream about it the other night that she didn't think I was cool and she thought I was a bit too much, which I do understand. Wow, you're certainly coming off a bit much now.

Yeah. What am I going to wear? Do I go for an outfit? Just wear some clothes. Go for something nautical. I mean, what do you want out of this? What do you want out of this interaction? To be friends like Aisha and I are. Well, then you can just wear whatever you want to wear.

Aisha and I have messaged twice, by the way. I know you do refer to her as if she is a close personal friend. Okay. Well, thank you. And I appreciate it because we've got the maths chat back between all of us, excluding Fletch and Vaughan. And you don't talk about this too much in there

because you know that we don't partake. That's maths and Love Island exclusive. Yeah, I am trying to find some below deck friends. Oh, the text machine's coming through. I've got some friends now. How good? Wear a red polo and white shorts. I'm going to show Captain Sandy my nautical knots

because I'm very good at nautical knots. I can do many nautical knots. What's your favourite knot, nautically speaking? The one where you go like that. Oh, ooh la la. Do you know that one? Yeah, they call that the captain. A bowline?

It used to be called the captain cook knot, but of course we've had a name change. It's just a normal knot, but it's my fave. It's my go-to. I like bunny ears. Every time. I look forward to telling Captain Sandy that boats aren't really for me because I get a little bit seasick.

And I look forward to seeing if Captain Sandy is my kind of lesbian. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Oh my God, this is a bit mean actually. So there's a trend at the moment in Hollywood, hot rodent men. And it's why we're suddenly finding men that aren't classically handsome. This is ruthless. Hot suddenly. This is very ruthless.

Barry Keegan. Yep. From Saltburn. From Saltburn. He's sort of the poster child for the hot rat boy. You look at him, you're like, hey, all the ingredients tell me that you're not attractive. And somehow you were just so hot. He's like the Hollywood it guy.

He is. He's in so many movies. Jeremy Ellen White, who is from The Bear. He's sort the Hollywood It guy. He is. He's in so many movies. Jeremy Ellen White, who is from The Beer. He's sort of an example. You'd be like, oh, you weren't hot. Now you're all hot. You're super hot. Someone's including Timothee Chalamet, bit of a rat boy.

Hot rodent. Okay. So you see him and you're like, mm, this is really hot. Okay. And it's just, I mean, this is so mean. You couldn't do this list about women. You couldn't do this list about women. What makes them rodent? You couldn't do this list about, you couldn't say this about women. Yeah, hot rodent chicks.

Yeah. Why'd you point at me? Well I'm just saying that you're giving us this list and it's I'm good with hot rodent women. Are you saying sexism is at play here? I'm saying it could be. Yeah, because we can call boys ugly but if you said it about women we'd be like that's terrible. So they're going like angular facial structures, beady eyes,

untidy hair, and lankier than your typical Hollywood buff men into Timothee Chalamet. We're all going, on paper. Is Stuart Little on your list? No. Stuart Little? He's not a whole rodent boy. He's just literally a rodent boy.

Just a rat. Yeah. Somehow, it's just, we're hypnotised. Yeah. It's a horrible thing to call somebody. I mean, Jeremy Allen White on the beer is hot. Yeah. And I know what you mean when you're like, you know,

not a typically handsome face, and yet somehow. I would have thought he, out of all the celebrities you said would be the most, I mean, and Timothee Chalamet as well. Yeah, Shimmer, Limba,

Bing Bong. Man, it's quite ruthless. It's so ruthless. But this is what they're calling them. Surely not to their face. This is why celebrities don't, you know,

you hear celebrities, like Ed Sheeran was like, I don't have a phone. I haven't had a phone since 2015. Yeah. Which is, I'm guessing fine for him because he's got people around him

that can be like, hey, you've got this and they've got phones and stuff. But you couldn't live online, eh? Like, you always hear celebrities in interviews that are like, I haven't seen that trend or I don't know about that. Yeah. Because literally they cannot be online

for this very reason. Yeah. Because they'd be scrolling and see something mean. Matty Healy, they're saying. Hot rodent man. Yeah. Who is Josh O'Connor? He's an actor.

British actor. Yeah, he straight up looks like a rat. He straight up looks like a rat. And everyone's just like, he's so hot. Right. I don't disagree. Okay, so you're saying change our jaw structure, grow the hair out.

Bead the eyes. Bead the eyes. Lose muscle. Nose some cheese. Nose some cheese. And suddenly, everyone in the world will think you the eyes. Lose muscle. Nor some cheese. Nor some cheese. And suddenly, everyone in the world will think you're a hot, hot boy. A hot rodent. Hot rodent man.

Man. Shout out to Remy from Ratatouille who did the hard yards. Laid the foundations. Laid the foundations for hot rodent men. See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Suzy Cato's a very good friend of mine.

She's already sued me twice. So if you could maybe get her to drop her stop you there. That's copyrighted. Suzy Cato's a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice, so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast, and then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.