ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 11th March 2024

Episode Date: March 10, 2024

Hours in the Kitchen  Top 6: Speed Bumps  Silly Little Poll!  Broccoli Beauty Hack  P!NK  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchforn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchforn and Hayley. Happy Monday. Happy Monday. It's a big Monday because we've got an announcement at 8 o'clock

after 5 on time, which by the way is at $25,000. That'd be nice. That would be so nice. You'd be able to do a couple of weeks of groceries on there, to tell you. Yeah. Just a couple of weeks. Oh, yeah.

Just a couple. And I'd get the good milk. You're going Lewis Road. You're going Lewis Road if you've got $25,000 in your pocket. Oh, no. You get through $25,000 too quick. I think I'll just stick to Derrydale. Two for six. Yeah, Derrydale or your

Pams. Yeah. But you'd get a Lewis Road butter, wouldn't you? That's not from the same cow. No, the Lewis Road cows are fed gold, I believe. Are they? Yeah, they're fed gold. And they're sung to to sleep. You can go crazy at the supermarket

with $25,000, your chance to win at 8 o'clock this morning with our game five on time. The top six is on the way. Yeah, the FENS, Fire Engines New Zealand. I don't know. That's what it stands for. Does it? I thought it was Fire Emergency New Zealand.

It might be, but I like Fire Engines New Zealand. It might be, but I like fire engines in New Zealand. It's better for the fire engines to get together. They've said that Auckland Transport are putting in a lot of speed humps to slow down traffic, but they're a nightmare

to get over in a fire truck. And it may slow down. It's causing critical delays to emergency response times. And say your fact about fires. Oh, is it? Well, I read it in that article. Every 30 seconds a fire gets bigger. They double.

Did you know that? Did you know that? I did not know that. And so they're slowing down for the raised pedestrian crossings and your house is gone. Doubling. Yeah, it's doubling. Wow. I mean, you know how long it takes a manster to get going after you slow down for a pedestrian crossing. Oh, yeah, she's not zippy.

Let alone a fire truck. Well, I've got the top six other reasons we should get rid of speed bumps, too. Okay. I'm actually campaigning to get some put in my street. Oh, really? But now I'm going to have to reconsider. Well, yeah, because imagine, because you'll have to drive over it every single time you leave the house. Yeah, but so will the bloody motorcycles

coming from the tavern onto the highway. Oh yeah, maybe they'll go the other way. Spooking the kids. You should just put some make some of your own speed bumps and then they'll go the other way. Get some Timu road spikes. Yeah, actually I will. That's way cheaper than me going door knocking and you know time consuming.

Next on the show. Apparently we spend 1,000 hours doing this thing. I don't know how that adds up. Okay. We'll get into that next. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley.

This seemed absurd, but I've just done some mathematics. Not girl mathematics. Just normal maths. Normal, actual mathematics. So apparently, this is an American study. Okay. So take it with a grain of salt, because they're insane. Aren't they?

A little insane, yes. They're insane over there. So the average American spends 1,000 hours a year in the kitchen, according to this survey. So working out how much you'd spend a day, and then on average, that works out to be 1,000 hours a year in the kitchen, according to this survey. So working out like how much you'd spend a day and then on average, that works out to be a thousand hours a year. Does this mean like cooking or like when I go into the kitchen

and get a glass of water? Swing in the fridge. Or I look in the fridge door and I'm like still nothing has appeared. Yeah, where the chips at? Yeah. Yeah, where the chips at? Have I got chocolate in here somewhere?

Where the chips, where the chips, where the chipset. Where the chips, where the chips, where the chipset. That's a great Hayley's version. You've just come up with that on the spot. Yeah, brilliant. You know, that's done. Yeah, well, it's eating, cooking, hanging around the fridge, snacking. Okay, a thousand hours a year. So 1,000 hours divided by 52 weeks. Yeah. That's how many weeks I believe there are in a year. That's 19 hours a week. Okay. Divided by seven, quite quickly you get down to 2.74 hours.

If you're cooking, there's an hour. Dishes. Dishwasher. Yeah, dishes. 20 minutes. Snacks. I mean, if you're home and you make lunch as well, that's included, breakfast, lunch, dinner.

But I didn't think that many people are cooking too much. Are they? Yeah, that's what I thought. I was like, but we're just getting takeaways like four or five times a week. Like Uber Eats and takeaways, exactly. Do you ever hang out in the kitchen? Yeah, people congregate in ours. If we're having drinks at mine, it's out in the kitchen? Yeah, people congregate in ours.

If we're having drinks at mine, it's always in the kitchen. Yeah, if you're at the bar. We've got the breakfast bar as well, but I don't know, I don't sit there very often. No, I never sit there to eat a meal. At the table. Well, our dining table's in the kitchen. Okay, are we counting the dining

room, which is often... No. Adjacent. No, they had a separate for the dining room. So living room was asked about, dining room was asked about in the kitchen. So they've separated there. But ours is one and all. It still feels like quite a lot. When I was sick, I moved the PlayStation 5 into the bedroom.

And it hasn't left the bedroom. And I got a little beanbag and I just sit on the beanbag at the't left the bedroom and I got a little beanbag and I just sit on the beanbag at the end of the bed and I play PlayStation is this so you can hide from your father

and all yes you've seen right through my guys there wow he watches a lot of shows YouTube videos

I update you on what he watches he went through a big period of watching people get arrested on body cam footage and there was a lot

of screaming and I said to him maybe we don't have the traumatic screaming videos body cam footage. And there was a lot of screaming and I said to him, maybe we don't have the traumatic screaming videos when the kids are home. Was it a lot of hot females being arrested? It was a lot of females being arrested. Oh, okay. Probably only females being arrested. Okay. Then he got into watching

GoPro footage, elevated GoPro footage, looking down on Asian short order cooks. Like takeaways. Yeah. Cooking takeaways. That's quite fascinating. I could looking down on Asian short order cooks. Like takeaways. Yeah. Cooking takeaways. That's quite fascinating. I could get down on that. Don't know, but he was really into it.

Okay. I lost an hour yesterday watching buildings being demolished. Oh, that's great content. Like explosives. Yeah, like full taking down skyscrapers. Yeah. Now that was good content. He'd love that.

He watched, no, because he's got a new favourite, it's children playing chess. Speed chess, children playing chess against each other. Okay. Is it because they're so young that they shouldn't be able

to be that brainy? I think it is, like he admires the fact that these children have, you know, got a real grasp on the game and they're playing speed chess.

Yeah. Marvellous. Yeah, so that's his latest. So he'll be just watching those and he's always like, do you want to watch something? I was like, I'll leave you to it

and I go into the bedroom and I'll, hence why you... Oh, you'll never have sex again. You'll never have sex again. Your PlayStation in the bedroom. How, that's so unsexy. Yeah, but you don't need to have sex when you've got a PlayStation 5

in the bedroom. Yeah, true. We're about to do this because our TV room, we have to move the bed in there soon for renovation purposes. That's the next one we're moving into. And I'm quite looking forward to having

the TV in front of us. Watch some movies. Yeah. PlayStation and stuff. Never make love again. Quarter past six. Next on the show, a new hobby on the horizon. And you know me and my hobbies. I don't tend to half do a hobby. Knitting. Spend all the money and then give up after a month is my approach.

Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Give me a show at the weekend. Wonderful. Harper on about it last week. It's like an A&P show, isn't it? It's like a big A&P show. Yeah, it's got a bit of everything.

Falo and Goong were there. Always good to see them. They're the ones that are always like the yellow. They stand in the yellow outfits. They hand you a pamphlet too. They do the ones that are always like the yellow they stand in the yellow outfits and they hand you a pamphlet too and they do like they do a parade

and bang the drum and they do that stuff. Always good to see them there. Hell of a back story. I'm not going to go into it now. It's depressing but you guys should

on your own time. It really is, yeah. Because the girls are like, what is the story? Because previously we've let the girls call them the minions

because they were in yellow. Why not? You know, it makes it fun. But this year I was like, I think you're old enough that we don't just say Minions. Let's learn. So we looked up their story and it's a harrowing back tale. Oh, gosh.

That you should on your own time spend. So we're here to talk about the good. Yeah, we don't want to bring it down. They're happy people. They're happy people now. I'm going to do a long tease in an hour. I want to tell you what Aaron wants to buy thanks to you going to the QMU show.

Because you shared it in the group chat. And now... It's a wise investment. Something's going to be in my backyard. You've found a new hobby. Well, I was very surprised. We parked ourselves up. We got there as it opened

and got the rides out of the way to avoid being in the queues. Yeah, because I was going to go and then you said you were already there and I was still dusting around Fletcher's house trying to get myself together. Post Pink hung over. So I didn't end up making it.

So we went super early, got all the rides out of the way, then had a mosey around, got some food and then parked ourselves up at the Axeman competition. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The wood chopping. Some horny stuff. I watched it last year and honestly. Yeah.

Well that was the thing I brought a video up and people replied being like well Morgan sexologist Morgan's hot for Jack. Oh yeah. Jack Jordan.

Is he a wood chopper? He's a wood chopper. He's one of the young fellas. One of the best in the country. Let me cast my eyes on this.

Very full arms and barrel chest and shoulder on this guy. Yeah right. Power from top to bottom. Yeah. And everything was so close. My favourite part

was where they do the chainsaw cutting. Right. They race. There's a lot of technique to a chainsaw. But I saw them, they were like,

how are they halfway up the tree standing on something? Well, they have to cut wedges and then that's part of, that's one of their competitions. They have to cut wedges in a trunk and then put a plank in.

They have to cut the right wedge to hold that plank and then climb up on the plank and then do another one, climb up on the second plank, and then it's the first one to chop down the top of the tree. How do they not chop a leg off, eh? That's what I thought. They must sometimes get hurt. Well, I don't know if the guy was just saying it as like a joke

because they were all like in sneakers. And he said, oh, they don't wear steel cap boots, because if you hit the steel cap boots with your axe, you'll bugger your axe. I was like, but if you hit your foot with an axe, you'll bugger your foot. Now, you can sharpen your axe. Yeah, you could get a new axe.

Yeah, you can't get new toes. You can't get new tendons. No, you can't get new. I had a mission. Those axes are so sharp, too. They just go in between the toes and just go straight through the entire foot. Yeah, I reckon you wouldn't feel it.

It'd be so sharp. Right. Huh? But everything was so close. I was like, they need a loser in here. And that's when I was like, I could do it. And I could be the guy that is so like, you know how you, there's always someone who's way worse than everybody else.

Yes. If anyone would want you to win because you'd be like, oh, look at that slow. Oh, he's going so slow. Yeah. And so you'd be like, chop. No, no. I'd be like, chop, chop, chop. I'm not hitting it with enough power, so I'm like doing the same amount of chops,

but I'm not getting into it. Oh, right, okay. You'd be puffed and wheezing. Chop, chop, chop. And I get the chainsaw going to cut through the log and I'm like, meee, because they just go, meee, meee, meee. I'd just go, vroom, vroom, vroom. I'll be like, meh.

Because I'm not sharpening my blade properly. Oh, my God. So you want to take up a hobby so you can be the underdog loser. Yeah. Right. The worst at it. I'll support you. I just like axes.

That was what every time they were there, our friends Jake and Casey, every time they got a new axe, Jake and I would look at each other and be like, that's a bloody nice axe. That's a nice axe. And then they brought out a new chain so you'd be like, that's a bloody good chain. Are these like special axes?

To a Tahee racing axes. Made in New Zealand. Do you know we're racing axe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know we've got the best axe? This is just something I've learnt. We've got racing axes used around the world made right here in New Zealand in a forge.

Really? It's cool. Right here in New Zealand. I would have thought somewhere like Canada with all their lumberjacks. Yeah, definitely Canada. Yeah, I would say they'd be up there for axe competitions. But I just like axes.

To be honest, I didn't even need to get into the hobby. I just like a big wall of axes. You could just get a racing axe and cut your kindling. Well, that'd be, do that fast. No, I've got one of those to cut my kindling. I've got one of those inventions by that Taranaki girl. Oh, yeah, those are great. Because her mum was almost nearly chopping her toes off.

I tell you what, it's a little bit emasculating the first time you do it, but it's safe. It's safe. Are there women? There wasn't yesterday. So close after International Women's Day. I know. I don't think there weren't not invited.

Yeah. I just think they had the bloody scones competition, you know. We were probably whipping up the scones. To be honest, when I went and looked at all the crafts, I didn't see too many men's names on the preserves and jams. Yeah, well, that's fair. It's balanced, isn't it? Yeah. Play it.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the Top Six. Fares of critical delays Senior firefighters have raised concerns Of the amount of crossings and speed humps Installed by Auckland Transport As they cause critical delays to emergency response times Those big daddy trucks

with the big ladders on them. Oh, yeah. So you've got to slow all right down and then get going again. And in that time, your house is burnt down. Yeah. And not just houses. Like the photo in the paper today,

the New Zealand Herald, my paper of choice. Me too, Katie. 100, 160 years of the business. Is that right? I think that's what we were told last week. A lot of papers. Today is edition 48,882. Oh my god, I forget they number

them. I love it. That's good stuff. It shows even like traffic fires. Like if cars catch fire. Yeah. It takes them so much longer to get there. Do you know my mark? Because I want to get speed bumps put on mine because our street connects from a pub to a highway and it's like a known spot for bikies. And I just told my mum about it and I was like,

I want to get speed bumps put on our street. And mum said she did it when I was a baby, that we lived on this street that people would hoon through and my mum went door knocking, campaign, got a speed bump put in. I tried to get it at our old place, but they wouldn't do it because it was a bus route. Yeah, we had that too. street that people would hoon through and my mum went door knocking, campaign, got a speed bump put in. Oh my god, Patsy. I tried to get it at our old place but they wouldn't do it because

it was a bus route. Yeah, we had that too. They wouldn't put them in, yeah, they wouldn't do it. I've got the top six other reasons to get rid of speed bumps,

not just for fens. Okay. Number six on the list. You think it's easy for Mr. Whippy to get over there without spilling the chocolate sprinkles? Oh yeah.

Oh yeah, the sprinkles will go all over the floor. Yeah, if he hits that too hard, boom, and then the flakes will be on the floor. Yeah, if he hits that too hard, boom, boom, and then the flakes will be on the floor. And all the ice cream stuff in the machine slops around.

The wafers will snap. You know? Pink wafers. The pink wafers will snap. We're going to have a real problem on that one. Mr. Whippy opens up the wafer container. It's just dust. That could be the initiative of a fun new Mr. Whippy,

though. Dusted pink just did it. Wafer dust. Nice and get a wafer dust. Instead of the sherbet. Yeah. Yeah. Cheaper. Yeah.

Number five on the list of the top six other reasons to get rid of speed bumps. Speed bumps are the poor cousin of the chicane. Oh, yeah. What's a chicane? Chicane. Did it? Yeah. It makes you go around, so you can't just go a straight line.

You've got to slow down to go around. That'd be worse for a fire engine. A chicane. Oh, yeah. Weave through. Especially a long truck, if you've got a long one. They need to be like those buses with the bend in the middle. Yeah.

That you've got overseas. The bendy buses. Yeah. Auckland used to have bendy buses. Yeah, we did. What have they? They just slowly phased them out. I think they just got rid of them, yeah.

Got some double deckers. More buses. I love standing on the bendy bit. Same. We'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like being on the inside of them, yeah. Got some double deckers. More buses. I love standing on the bendy bit. Same. It'd be like, It was like being on the inside of an accordion. It was just like it. Which I know is a lifelong dream of yours

to be inside of an accordion. And I finally ticked that off the list. Yeah, yeah. Number four on the list of the top six other reasons to get rid of speed bumps. They don't target the people with external speakers on their cars enough. No. Siren Kings cars enough. No.

Siren Kings. Yeah. Yeah. There's nothing about a speed bump that's going to disadvantage a Siren King. Because they already go slow, don't they? Yeah. Bring back Crusher Collins. She needs to crush a few of those Siren Kings cars.

Well, they crushed all those Comachero motorbikes. Yeah. Just see those. And those were plated. Some of them had gold plating. Fancy. Turned that into a ring? Yeah.

Or a tooth. Or a tooth? Why not? I'll take a gold tooth. Well, if you see the police minister with a tooth. That'll be worrying. Number three on the list of the top six other reasons to get rid of speed bumps. How about we start thinking about the ladies with the boobies?

Thank you. Or no, or men with the... And the men with the tummies and the boobies. Yeah. It's a rude awakening when you go over a speed bump. When you hit, your boobies go. That's always how I know if I'm blowing out. If I'm on a...

Yeah. Speed bump. You have a little jiggle. Okay, probably should go down to the gym. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six reasons to get rid of speed bumps. How about we start thinking about those lovely lads and lasses with very low cars? They have to go sideways and they look like right wallies doing it.

How embarrassing. How degrading to have spent all that money on a car and then you have to go sideways over a little bump. You can't go into car park buildings or up driveways. It is funny when someone hits a raise at quite a speed. Yeah, I love that sound. I love that sound. It's an expensive sounding sound. And number one on the list of the top six other reasons

to get rid of speed bumps. They hurt on buses too. Have you ever been on a bus when it's not the bus driver that's doing the usual route and they hit the speed bump with a little bit of all foot? And then you watch the whole bus just like, it ripples down the entire bus. And we're trying to encourage people to take buses.

We are. Help me. Heal the world. That is today's Subsex. Play ZM's Fletch Vordernaley. Play ZM. Okay, Oscars day today. Who's going to win?

Oppenheimer. Cillian Murphy. Oppenheimer. Do you think Barbie will get anything this time? I think they'll get like a... It'll get something. Yeah, something. Screenplay maybe. Yeah. Probably

Oppenheimer, everything else. I love the Oscars though. I love watching the Oscars. Who's hosting? Jimmy Kimmel. That's right. Because he's hosted it a couple of times. Anyway, every year it's released, the goodie bag that they receive.

This is everybody that attends, right? Everybody that attends, yeah. Or just celebrities? Oh, sorry. It's just the front bit. Nominees. Just the front, yeah. Yeah, right.

Okay. People involved in nominated stuff. Right. Not someone that edits movies who's in the back row. Lame-o. Yeah, yeah. Not the lame-o tech nerds. Yeah.

So, and I don't think it's like left on their seat, like a goodie bag. I think it's like sent to them. Right. Because they're huge and they're full of, you don't see people at the end leaving like hampers. With a stocking. So this year it's around about,

it's $288,000 New Zealand worth of goods, including a luxurious trip to Switzerland. You've got a lot of plastic surgery vouchers. Are you kidding? They're always in there every year. The priciest thing is, yeah, is a luxurious ski chalet in the Swiss mountains. That's worth $80,000 to Chalet Zermatt Peak.

Three night trip. Right. Nice. But then if you're like a big celebrity, like if you're George Clooney or whatever, I don't know who's going to get like. That's what I mean. Like you already, like can you gift it, re-gift?

Can you give it to like your poor cousin? Are you like on Instagram like here I am in the Swiss Alps and everyone's like, oh, free. That's cheap. Yeah, how embarrassing. I don't think George Clooney would be like, here I am in the Swiss Alps. No, I don't think he needs to do that.

I think he might just go to the Swiss Alps. Right, okay. So there's another vacation in there. The Golden Door Spa in San Marco in California where the average nightly stay is $2,000. $3,000 sorry. A luxury villa in St. Bath Paradise

worth $129,000. These are just all these holidays. Then there's some affordable fashion including a $500 handbag, a handbag holder,

but the handbag's job is to hold. But is it when you get home, put it in a wardrobe, do you have a holder? It's called a hook. Literally just go and get a command hook. You know, they're $5. There's $800 worth of Miage skincare products,

Cera Balm products, D22 tonic, all the skincare, vitamin C dark spot serums. It's so weird how they get their stuff in there. Because wasn't there a Kiwi company that got some stuff in the last year's bag? I can't remember what it was. Manuka honey. Yeah, manuka, lozenges. It's always a manuka product that's coming from New Zealand.

There's a microneedling session from a big spa. A Rubik's Cube. That's in there. Okay. A 50th anniversary Rubik's Cube. Oh, yeah. There's some high-end popcorn. There's cushions.

Honestly, even though it's expensive, I have to say, it still feels a bit like junk. You know what I mean? Like luxury popcorn. Whiskey-flavored popcorn, Vaughn. I just have the whiskey. I don't need it on point. You know what I mean?

Or there's tequila. It's in my taste now. There's gin. Whose tequila and gin is it? Is it like a celebrity's? Ant? There's tequila. It's in my teeth now. There's gin. Who's tequila and gin is it? Is it like a celebrity's? Antigua Cruz tequila. Haven't heard of it. Antigua.

There's a blender. A blender. Do you know what I mean? Like one of those little single serve smoothie blenders. Like a celebrity's not going to need a blender. They've already got one. They literally have everything you could ever want. And you're sending them with junk.

It's junk. Anyway, good luck. So who do you think, I think, Kelly Murphy's gonna win Best Actor for Oppenheimer. Best Actress,

I reckon, will be Lily Gladstone, Flowers in the Killer Moon. I haven't watched that. Flowers in the Killer Moon. Is that good? Has anyone seen it? It looks long.

It's three hours. It's really long. Classic. Is it so bad now that when I always see the movie Runtime and I'm like, not tonight. Nah, not tonight.

Yeah. And if it's over two and a half hours or even two hours, I'm like, nah. We're going to a movie screening. The first thing you did was look it up and say, oh, hour and a half. Delicious. Yeah, delicious.

Because Oppenheimer's two movies. Yeah. I had to go for a wheeze like twice during Oppenheimer. I watched Oppenheimer. I only watched the first I had to go for a wheeze like twice during Oppenheimer. I watched Oppenheimer. I only watched the first bit. It felt like it had a natural ending and I didn't watch the second bit. You didn't watch the trial. Act two, you were just like.

She didn't watch anything after the blowing up. They blew it up. It worked. And I was like, good for you. Is that not the end of the movie? Roll credits. No, you haven't seen it. I haven't seen it.

No, there's a whole fallout of what he's done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was like, I've had enough. You can't bloody live with your failures. No. I just picked an ending and that was enough for me. That was good for you.

ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little po. It is so silly, silly, silly. pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. Today's silly little pole, screen protectors. Love them or not for me?

I don't currently have a screen protector. Neither. No, I never use them. They always break. Yeah, they always... Love them or not for me I don't currently have a screen protector Neither No I never use them They always break Yeah they always That's their purpose They break and then you replace them with another one Nah they get manky on the edges

Yeah they get real groshy I hate them We actually recently I'd say peer pressured Some would say bullied Our friend James Who had one of those privacy screen protectors Aaron's got one

And like It was like Maybe he's got one. And, like, it was like... Maybe he's got an affair, bro. Great. But, like, he had a brand new iPhone, and it dulled the whole screen. I was like, what is even the point of having this amazing phone? They suck. They suck.

Yeah. The glass ones, because when I have had them, I'll get the glass ones, but they're so flimsy. They break easy. They always have little cracks and chips around the edge. Yeah. I don't know if it's going to last forever. Nah.

But then on the other side of that, I have had, like, my keys kind of scratched my phone once, and it really annoyed me. Yeah, I got that. Because my Apple Watch is scratched to smithereens, and I got a protector on it for a while but same thing, they just peel off. Things are made to be scratched. Well, 79% of people say they love them. Really? Screen protectors. 21% saying not for me. Amy

says, I drop phones like they're bouncy balls so I need a screen protector. Yeah. I don't think she's throwing them at the ground and being like, how far up will it bounce? Or let's throw this down Baldwin Street in Dunedin or anything crazy like that. But she was obviously clumsy.

Yeah. I don't want to just tap a whole box of bouncy balls down Baldwin Street. Yeah. So bad. It's been a lifelong dream of mine. But apparently the speed they would gather on the way down would be devastating to any car's bike.

I don't care about your physics. Yeah, I don't care either. I don't care's bike. I don't care about your physics. Yeah, I don't care either. I don't care about that. I don't care either, but I'm just saying it would be very obvious who tipped the balls down. Yeah, and also

you wouldn't be able to make a getaway, would you? Because you'd have to come back down the street and by that time people would be outside of their houses yelling at you.

Living because their windows are all broken and everything's been smashed. What do you think it would be like to get into a shopping trolley and just go down? I don't think the wheels would be over fairly quickly. Fun. Charlotte says, privacy screens are even better.

People next to me can't snoop. Why is everyone having multiple relationships? What if you go on public transport every day? I think a privacy screen would be good. But what are you looking at on public transport that is that bad that you don't want people seeing? Maybe you're reading your smut books on your phone, you know? Oh, maybe.

Because I've looked over people's shoulders on their Kindle and I'm like, oh, heaven's to Murgatroyd. Heaven to Betsy. Heaven's to Murgatroyd, I said last week and everyone in my house laughed at me like they'd never heard it. Heaven's to Murgatroyd. Heaven's to Murgatroyd, I said last week, and everyone in my house laughed at me like they'd never heard it. Heavens to Murgatroyd. Heavens to Murgatroyd. Privacy screens, a tick in the book there.

Mike said, oh, okay, this is long. Because they chip and break within the first five minutes of putting them on, it's like buying a new TV or dishwasher and leaving the thin, clear plastic on. It's so satisfying to peel off. Or Nana buying a new couch and then getting a plastic cover so it's still brand new when she dies. Jeez, those people that picked it up from the op shop are going to be stoked you took such great care of it.

Mike's just ranting. Mike sounds like a great person. Yeah, good fun, Mike. Common with you there. WTF, you telling me people don't have screen protectors? Are these people rich? How the F can anyone afford not to have a screen protector with the cost of phones these days, says Jordan. Remember when I even

just didn't have a phone case? I was raw-dogging it for a while. See, I will never not have a phone case. And then it absolutely shattered itself. I had to get a new phone. I have screen protectors, says Julie, on my phone, my iPad and my watch. They still look brand new. Love the matte finish. No glare.

Matte finish! No. Oh, yuck. Love the matte finish. No glare. Matte finish. No. Oh, yuck. Dull the screen. Oh, no. Matt. Yuck. Emily, you're an absolute munter if you don't use a screen protector, says Emily.

Munter. She's called you guys munters. Oh, my God. Love them, but when they crack, you peel them off and it gets hard to see and use, and then you can't be bothered going to store to get a new one so I say yes but 90% of the time I don't have one and Fleur says

I've never used one and I've never had a broken screen and my screen is not full of scratches you've just cursed yourself today Fleur's literally going to snap her phone

in half she's going to drop it and it's just going to shatter the entire screen that's the little poll well the New Zealand dental ass have done a shatter the entire screen. That's a little poll. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, the New Zealand Dental Ass have done a... Nice.

Nice. It's an association. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, the New Zealand Dental Ass have done a little study. See, I like to imagine it's a donkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Dental Donkey, the New Zealand Dental Donkey. The New Zealand Dental Donkey or the ASS Association has

found that nearly half of all Kiwis are avoiding going to the dentist due to rising costs This shouldn't really be a surprise right? Cost of living crisis. Something's gotta go. Yeah Do you go to the dentist? That's a little sore, take a panadol My teeth are still there

1, 2, 3. That's good. I mean, you only really go when it gets really bad, right? Like you, Vaughn. You put off for, you got literally a temporary crown. Yeah, in 2010. And it lasted till last year. Just last year. When it broke in half after I, well, no, it broke in half in 2015,

but then I punched myself in the face. Getting off a bus. Getting off a bus. Yeah. And it got very sore and got worse. Yeah. And then a bus. Getting off a bus. Yeah. It got very sore and got worse. Yeah. And then I got another

temporary crown put on and we're just hoping that's going to last for another 13 years. Why don't you go for regular... I do now. I do now.

You do now. Because my dentist was so friendly and that was a big thing. If you leave it for too long, you think, I'm going to get such a rock up here.

Nah, they never do, eh? But they don't... Well, I don't think modern dentists don't because they probably had a meeting at the dental donkey. And they said, guys, when we're condescending and mean to people, they don't come. And their teeth fall out. And then it makes us look bad

because everybody's rocking around with gummies. I definitely didn't go for all of uni. And I think maybe one year, I did like four years off maybe. And I remember being so nervous to go back. And then it was fine. It was absolutely fine. And then I'm part of one of those plans. So it doesn't feel like it's that expensive.

But it is so pricey. If you've got to get actual work done. Yeah. The average, for an example, in this news story, a single root filling. Is that a root canal? A root filling? Oh, yeah, because otherwise it's just a filling. I've had one of these.

Have you had one? No, I've never had one. They put like little pipe cleaners in your canals. It's pretty gross when you think about it. It's pretty gross when you think about it, yeah. I can't. I cannot. I cannot.

So the average price for a single root filling is up from $800 to $935. Who's got that lying around? I got one of those and it cost me $1,200. Yeah, maybe. Did I get some other junk? You've got fat teeth, though. I do have fat teeth. You have fat teeth.

Your teeth are really overweight. Horse teeth. Yeah. Big fat. Horse molars. I didn't say overweight. I just said they're just chunky. Big fat teeth.

Yeah, big fatties. I don't know. Maybe I need twice as much filling. Is it still cheaper to go to Thailand? Yeah. Well, like overseas? Yeah. Someone goes wrong. You're not in Thailand anymore, are Thailand? Yeah. Or like overseas? Yeah. Someone goes wrong, you're not in Thailand anymore.

Yeah, exactly. Well, go to the dentist, guys. Go to the dentist. That's the thing, it says here the average exam's gone from $74 to $84 but even if you're regularly paying $84, it's better to do that and know than to wait and it's going to cost you $12 times as much. Than to wait and it's going to cost you $2,000.

Also, good hack. Like if you don't have a regular dentist and you haven't gone for a while, go on like grab one or whatever. Lots of dental practices do. Like super cheap exams. Yeah, super cheap like checkups and exams and x-rays and stuff.

I mean, if the result is you have to have a root canal, that's still going to cost money. I'd also give them a Google. The dentists. Yeah. Give them a Google. Give them a Google before you... Go on, Google.

They're like, you're like $14 for a filling? This seems amazing. And you get there and it's just a vet. I don't think it's just... You can hear dogs barking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the background. And he's like, you didn't read the fine print.

It's a dog filling that's $14. And you're like, well, I'm here. Ruff, ruff. Yeah. Get in there. Tell him I'm a good boy. You identify as a dog now, do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For a $14 filling, my friend, I'll identify as many animals. I'll be the goodest boy. Vaughnie, you went to the QMU show I did, lovely event I was supposed to go but then I just sort of had a lazy day instead and I didn't want to get lured in by all the beautiful deep fried foods so in the group

chat that we have going, Fletch that you were not part of the QMU meet gun and toe club. Toe as in pull, not toe as in end of your foot. No, it's not a foot fetish. Okay. But we actually haven't discussed that as a

group. Could do. We could add that in there. You sent a picture of a miniature donkey. Yes. Now, why did you send this? Because it was cute. It was just very, very cute.

It was probably the cutest of the animals. Now, I'll show that to you, Fletch, because it is cute. It was in with the miniature ponies, but it was smaller than a miniature pony. Yeah, a little donkey. A little donkey. And donkeys have got a lot of personality.

Yeah, they do. I follow a couple of Instagrams of donkeys that live inside in America. Now, I don't know what's happening on my Instagram. You follow a couple of donkeys that live inside on Instagram? Yeah. What, like, what? Yeah. Okay, why?

It wouldn't be an inside donkey. Wait, inside with carpet? Inside houses with carpet? Yeah, my dude. Yeah, they're inside. No, that's, they, yeah. How do they stop them pooping? Exactly, the poos in the waist. Is it this poo? They'll be pooping on the carpet. Oh, yeah yeah. How do they stop them pooping? Exactly, the poos in the west.

There's pooping on the carpet. They'll be pooping on the carpet. The poos in the west, that's not good. So Aaron said in the chat back, I want one, he can live in our backyard, right? And I was like, he, he, he. We're out at dinner. And then Aaron goes, seriously though,

like we've got a big enough backyard that we could actually have a little donkey. And I was like, you're not being serious. He said, no, no, no, actually, we'd be perfect. He's like, I've gone off the idea of having a dog, actually. I'll just get a donkey. And I said, for what purpose? Like, what purpose will the donkey serve?

And he said, companionship. And I said, Aaron, you wanted it. You wanted it. Yeah, one, me. He's like, you're never around. Like, I was like, get a dog. His whole vision was like, go in, you know, get in his truck, open the door, dog jumps in, off they go to Mitre 10. And this is his dream life. I was like, you're never around. I was like, get a dog. His whole vision was like, go in, get in his truck, open the door, dog jumps in, off they go

to Mitre 10, it is his dream life. I was like, great. This will be fun. And I said, a donkey's not going to get in your truck. He said, you don't know that. I was like, are you going to put this donkey in your front seat and take it to Mitre 10? Or he could get a ramp for the youth. Yeah, he could get a ramp for the youth. And then it was actually

sort of planning out this whole thing. Because we've got this sort of like dead-end backyard that's not really good for much. It could be perfect for chickens and then you get eggs. Yeah, but there's quite a lot of maintenance with a chicken, eh? Not as much as a donkey. I know. Chickens are pretty low maintenance, really. It's not a pet that you have when you live where you live.

He said it would just leave Rolly alone because Rolly would hate having a dog. He was like, but the donkey's not going to bother Rolly. And then he was talking about building a little shelter for it out the back next to the garage and he said, and when it rains I'll be able to build a small

pen inside of the garage so that the donkey can go in there when it's raining. What about the cars? That's where you'd put the car. The cars don't go in the garage anyway. Right. Yeah. But it was actually quite sort of planning it out.

And all because Vaughan sent a photo of a cute miniature donkey. So when our goats pass, and I'm in a hurry for the goats to pass. I quite like the goats. I think I'll replace two goats with one miniature donkey. With another stupid animal that does nothing. But then the donkey has got the hooves. And when an animal's got hooves is when there's problems.

Checking. Well, no, I'm just thinking the maintenance. Like horses and stuff. Oh, you've got to cut them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've got to. But that could be quite cool. Pick up a little farrier.

Not David. The actual, you know, profession. Why not David if you were going to get a farrier? David Farrier makes documentaries. I don't know if he makes horseshoes and puts them on with nails and does the hoof maintenance. You need to talk to Aaron about this because I don't think he's thinking straight. But he's genuinely

looked on the website. There's like a breeder in Auckland. They're very expensive. Because we looked at miniature donkeys once upon a time. They're skewed before the Highland cattle but they're also

like they can be noisy. I think your neighbours and you live Yeah. You've got neighbours on the same side. There'll be bylaws to stop this. Yeah we don't have

a big property at all. There'll be bylaws to stop these sorts of shenanigans I'd say. We have just a backyard. Okay you've got to just today show them pictures of like cute Labradors or something to get him back on track.

Is this the only way that I'm going to end up with not having a donkey in my backyard? Is getting a dog. Yeah, Labrador. Is getting a dog. Getting a bloody dog. Oh, God. The donkey's cute, but we're not getting one.

The boy needs, the boy needs a pet. The boy needs a friend. Play. ZM's Flet. We love a beauty hack. And I love one particularly from the land and the wonder and the curious world of TikTok. Now, here's some beauty hacks. I'm going to do a little run through and then I'm going to land on my broccoli one.

Okay. Colander pasta curls. So you put your hair, your wet hair upside down into a colander and then you blow dry it through the colander, take it out, voila, curls. Does that work? How do you get it through the colander holes?

No, you wouldn't thread the hair through. Oh wait, you just rest it in the colander. And so it's all like scrunched up. Yeah. And you blow dry it and it's kind of set in the scrunchy Position And then that's Colander pasta curls

And then you keep the colander out for din dons That sounds like one of those things Your mum would have had one I don't know if Patsy might have had one You'd sit them on the table The kitchen table And they would go up and over your mum's head and pop down and she'd sit there and her hair would dry.

It looked like a beehive. I know. They used to have them at hair salons too, but my mum had a home one. Oh, fancy. She must have looked good. There's another TikTok beauty hack, foundation and water. You get a cup of water and you squirt your foundation to it

and then you dip it in. Drink it. No, you don't drink it. You drink it and it turns your skin brown. Anyway, broccoli is the one that I want to discuss now. Okay. So, I don't know if you guys are aware, but you should be that freckles are very on trend at the moment.

Freckles. Now, you're a bit freckly, Vaughn. I got freckles. Yeah, you are. You're less so, Fletch. Yeah, no. I used to have real, when I was little, a young fellow, cute little, real cute little freckles. Yeah, cute little freckles. Nah.

Oh. Nah. Freckle face. It was so cute. Yeah. It wasn't like, So you didn't get tasty, we'll just do it now. Yeah.

You freckly little twerp. Yeah. A freckle face. And now you're a four eyes. You're a four. You freckly little twerp. Yeah. A freckle face. And now you're a four-eyes. You're a four-eyes freckly. You've got a ginger beard as well, you gingy, freckly, four-eyed freak. I think we can stop now. Are we good?

I think I've had enough. Have we made up for that? You love getting negged. Yeah, that's my thing. So they're really on trend. And people are even going as far as getting tattooed freckles. Freckles are hot, though, eh? They're so hot.

They're so hot, yeah. Expect a little smattering across the cheeks and nose. Lush. So if you don't have the balls to get them tattooed on, you don't have the guts, you can use broccoli. Yeah, but you know I'm still, I got my eyebrows tattooed on in the 2000s, and I regret that now.

Yeah, they're really square-shaped. Yeah, and they're I'm still, I got my eyebrows tatted on in the 2000s and I regret that now. Yeah, they're really square shaped. Yeah, and they're down. They're down. And really, they're almost black. But eyebrow tattoos don't last, eh? No, they wear out over like a year or so. Well, the broccoli hack is you get a floret of broccoli and... What are we running broccoli prices at $2 something?

Yeah, I'll... That's not too bad at the moment. That's not too bad. Because, God, it went crazy, didn't it? What are we at? A bag of broccolini, $3.99. Were you looking at leany? And that broccolini might be a better thing.

You're only using a little bit of broccolini. A full head, $3. No, eeny. When you put eeny on the end of anything, it becomes more expensive. Yeah. Because my carotenees are always more expensive than my carots. But I know what you're about to tell us because of anything, it becomes more expensive. Yeah. Because my carotinis are always more expensive than my carrots. I saw it online at the weekend. So what I'm saying is you might be better to do a broccolini.

You say why, and I think people will see. Well, if you had a forehead, you take one floret, and then you would dip it into a bronzer or a contour of some sort, and then you dab it on your face. And because of the little dots of broccoli, it does almost a perfect freckle. And this woman, she's tried it. She was like, this is ridiculous.

Tried it. They look cute as a button. Look, she's got that real dotty- Oh, yeah. Dotty-dottiness. And then you set it with a setting powder, and off you go with your freckles for the day. I'd be livid if I went home with someone

in the morning with freckles. Yeah, you see her at the bar and you're like, look at that cute little freckled face. Fiend. This is 2024's version of the chicken fillets. Luring us poor men in. Luring us poor men in under false pretenses. Last year it was those yoga pants

that lifted the tush. This year it's the freckles Scrunch bum Yeah We're just victims everywhere we turn For me it was more of the health and safety issue Of tripping over a chicken fillet on the dance floor Oh god they used to so

Do you know why they peel off Because they were meant to sort of stick And then lightly click together But we used to wrap them right around the sides Yeah you guys marched it forward Especially when you had small boobs like I did, you'd be like, right! And then the stick would sort of wear off.

The adhesive, it wasn't a 3M master hook, was it? Gosh. I used to love getting home and taking them off and chucking them up on the ceiling like that. Do you know we used to get wads of toilet paper and go like that in the bathrooms? How long would they stick for? I used to do my chicken fillets all night.

Oh, wow. We'd be like, God, that was a big night, wasn't it? Better get the broom. Or get woken up at 4am by one slowly peeling off your ceiling. Oh, God, what was that? Anyway, try the broccoli hack. I mean, you could probably dip it in the thing,

do it on the face and give it a good old rinse in the colander after you've done your pasta curls. And then chuck it in the stir fry. And then give it a steam. Or in the stir fry. Not then give it a steam. Yeah. Or in the stir fry. Not a bad idea.

No need to waste it. Next on the show, we want to talk about proposals. And the bad ones. Oh, romantic proposals. Yeah. Not business proposals. Oh, no, no, no. I was like, it's too early for a business meeting, mate.

So you've got a business proposal for us. You've got some ideas. I mean, I'm open to a business idea if you've got one. Oh, can't be bothered. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. A proposal has gone viral. This is a guy called Michael. He works at a Tesco, which is a UK supermarket chain.

I love Tesco's. Tesco's are great. I don't know. I think I've been to one when I've been over in the UK. Tesco's and Sainsbury's, those are the two sort of big ones that are like everywhere. Every supermarket overseas is cheap. Yeah, when I say cheap, actually, yeah, it's just normal. Yeah.

Well, he proposed, and this is what's gone viral, he proposed to his partner, Sandra, at the self-serve checkout area. Did she also work at the Tesco? No, she was visiting, and she was using the self-serve checkout area. Did she also work at the Tesco? No, she was visiting and she was using the self-serve checkout, but she turned around and Michael was on one knee with a ring to which she said, F off. Oh, no.

And then said yes. Oh. Oh, she said yes. I thought she said F off. Like, surprised, you know, like. Oh, yeah. I mean, I guess that's sort of one thing is if you do it in such a bad location, you're truly going to be surprised by it.

Yeah. Well, she was completely surprised. She yelled out, yes, yes, of course, of course, yes. And the people are like. People are clapping. People, I'd imagine there's someone like me in the line as well that's like, let's just kind of get this moved on so that I can scan my groceries. But of course it's gone viral

and the internet has an opinion on it. And a lot of it is not great. It's somewhat lacking in romance, I'd say. Yeah. I mean, what's the significance to the couple? Well, I mean, he works there and that's, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah.

You know, was there not a park nearby don't know. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Was there not a park nearby? I know. Was there not a... Like even just at home. Was it their anniversary and he applied for the day off, but the boss was like, we're understaffed as it is. We'll run off our feet here at Tesco.

I know, but you'll be finished by seven o'clock and then go home. And even do it at home, yeah. Yeah. And that's the thing. You always hear of these, you know, but you'll be finished by 7 o'clock and then go home. And even do it at home, yeah. And that's the thing. You always hear of these proposals, these amazing locations, up a mountain or at the beach or wherever. In Venice, darling. And you always hear these wonderful stories, but you never hear the crap ones.

And this is a question I want to know this morning. Were you not happy with the proposal? Yeah, maybe the location was utterly terrible. Or just the effort? Yeah. You know they just ask and that's not what you're about? Yeah. And for some people, love a low-key.

They're absolutely happy with a low-key proposal. But if you weren't? If you weren't, you're not going to be happy. Or maybe it was a spur-of-the-moment thing. The moment was wrong? Yes. Like at someone's wedding. No, no. That's the big one. You never, ever, ever

at anybody's wedding. A funeral? No one's proposing a funeral, right? I, the spur of the moment thing would annoy me. If there was no thought and it was just like, oh my God, will you marry? I'd just be like, oh no, absolutely not. I will but just come back and do that again. Yeah, like, yes.

With some cameras and effort. Maybe a miniature farm. I'm going to say, dare I ask for a flash mob? Yeah. You know? No, we're not. Is it too much? Am I not worth a flash mob?

Let's not encourage flash mobbing again. To a song from Glee. Am I not worth a Glee flash mob? The Glee version of the song and the flash mob. Just a small time. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay, this is what I want to know.

Were you, did you hate your proposal? Yeah. 0800 DARS at M is the number. You can text through 9696. You can be anonymous as well. Some texts already coming in. Yeah, they are. Some great stories.

We'll get to those next. Give us a call. 13 minutes away from 8. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. 13 minutes away from 8, a man has proposed to his wife at the supermarket he works in at the self-serve checkout area. Yeah. And some people online have been a bit judgmental. Not us, though.

We're not judging. And have said maybe that's not the location to propose. Yeah, hon. But, you know, I feel like there's a story there, though. Well, she's happy. She said yes. They're in love. They're getting married.

We just hope there's a story. We hope there is. But we want to know this morning, did you hate your proposal location? And we're getting some messages in. Tony, you saw a proposal at your workplace. Good morning. Yeah. Where do you work?

Or did you work? Well, I used to work at Helen Stein's. Okay. In one of the busiest stores. Okay. What drew you to work at Helen Stein's? Because then you don't get to wear the cool clothes. Oh, well, you can if you want.

But the license is the Helen Stein's sister store. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh, so you get the discount there. Yeah, you get the discount there. Okay. And I think men is also, men wear it easier than women wear it, I think. She gets to be like, how's it going in there?

And like, have a look at some hot men in those hot pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How's the inseam? How's the inseam in the leg? They don't know what they're doing. And I think we've just learned why Vaughan and Hayley can't work at a men's clothing store. Time on the inseam there. Handful of balls.

I'm like, no, I've got to move these out of the way so I can get a proper measurement. Vaughan, move these to the side here. Sorry, Tony. Anyway, you were working as a professional at Helen Stein's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so it was like a super busy late night.

Like, I think it was near Christmas or something and it was hectic. Like, the store was a mess and there was this couple trying on a suit

in the fitting room. I'm pretty sure there was like clothes all over the floor. Like, it was messes. Socks was everywhere. I can't help but say,

Tony, that's kind of your job was really to... I know, I know. I try to fold that shit up and you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, give it here. It was 100% was, yeah, yeah.

But it was hectic. And yeah, he was trying on a suit with his partner and then I think his partner's friends were there. Anyway, he like walks out into the middle of the store to show her the suit and then he just gets down on one knee in the middle of the store and

there's people shopping all around and she says yes and her friends start taking photos and they just have this like I forgot what the phone-in topic was there for a bit. I thought

we were just ragging on people who work in clothing stores. They were always like, no, no, I'll take that. I'll take that. That's right, that's a proposal. Did he, Tony, did he even want to buy the suit or was he just using the Helen Stein suit to look nice to propose? He did. He did buy the suit. Okay.

And he was sort of like, you know, the thing was like, this is what we're going to get married in kind of situation. Oh, right. What are you making decisions? Yeah. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wearing the pants. But it was just so awkward. Like, everyone just kind of kept shopping around them. Oh, my God. Like, nobody, you know, nobody clapped or anything like that. And I remember thinking, like, maybe they could have, like, talked to us. Like, because I think, you know, like, some weird, like, pitbulls playing or something. You know?

Yes! Mr. Worldwide! We could have put a nice song on. Like, cleaned up the boxes. Yes, you could have put on some nice Ed Sheeran or something. Yes. You know, a little bit more relatable. But no, that was it.

And all of us, I think, for the whole rest of the night, kept going, did that really happen? Yeah. Couldn't you have just gone to Rembrandt? Like, wouldn't that have been nice? Hey, look, we're not poo-pooing Helen Stones. They do a great suit. Oh, that's so good.

Yeah, the vibe. The vibe. Yeah. Amazing. Tony, thank you so much for sharing. We'll get to more of your texts and calls, Zach. So many. Did you hate your proposal?

Maybe the location or just how it was done. Oh, God. Well, we're talking about your proposals. Maybe the location wasn't great, in your opinion. It's your proposal. You're allowed to have an opinion on it. Of course. We're simply the messenger. Yeah, and don't shoot us. A non-judgmental messenger. Oh, your proposal. You're allowed to have an opinion on it. Of course. We're simply the messenger.

Yeah, and don't shoot us. A non-judgmental messenger. Oh my God, absolutely. I got proposed to in bed, says this text. He literally just rolled over and asked. Didn't have to go far, I guess. No, there it is. Does he have the ring in the bedside drawer?

You would hope so. Was he like, hey, also though, can you lie on your side? Because you're snoring. Yeah. God bless you, it's getting cold at the moment. I had to you're snoring? Yeah. I had to roll. God bless you. It's getting cold at the moment. I had to roll shots over. Oh, I had to roll Aaron over a couple of times last night.

Yeah. Oh, God. Okay, roll over. You're not breathing properly. I even had a dream I was being chased by a bear, and I believe the of the bear was the snoring. You know, the snoring roots its way into your dreams. Yeah.

Oh, God. My husband proposed to me outside the bandstand at the Christchurch Botanical Gardens. Lovely. That's nice. However, he hadn't done his due diligence. God, he got that out eventually. And proposed to me outside a chain link fence that surrounded it as it was closed off due to earthquake damage. Oh, yeah.

Nothing says I love you like chain link. They've find a new fence. It's one of my favourite fences. May our love be forever fused like these chains. When I was in the UK. From Hyerpool. Yeah. Lovely.

Yeah. A bit of Hyer. I mean, if you're going to Hyer fencing from Hyerpool, you might as well get the big, tall. Yeah, big, tall stuff. Get the barbed wire clip-ons too. Yeah. If you're going to go there.

It's worth the extra. It'll keep out the scallywags. You don't want people jumping a fence to get to your concert for free. Oh God no. My proposal when I lived in the UK he said, oh I'm going to take you somewhere exciting. We went to the UK version of births, deaths and marriages and he said we better

get married then when we went inside this office building. And no I wasn't pregnant. It was for UK tax breaks. Oh okay. That's romantic I wasn't pregnant. It was for UK tax breaks. Oh, okay. That's romantic. That's romantic. I was pregnant standing at the counter at Cash Converters. My proposal was, guess we should get married then.

Why don't you pick out something nice? Hey, I'm not against a second-hand ring, but maybe get it out of Cash Converters first. And then go to the beach. Pop it in a fresh box and we'll go to the beach. That's right. We were doing long distance UK to New Zealand.

I arrived in the UK on Christmas Eve. I had been there a couple of hours, horrendously jet lagged. It was a horrible flight. He proposed to me in the living room on Christmas Eve. I couldn't comprehend what was happening. I asked to sleep on it. He's not very good about that.

And yes, the next day I said yes. He still mocks me now asking if I want to sleep on it. He's not going to feel good about that. And yes, the next day I said yes. He still mocks me now asking if I want to sleep on it when making everyday decisions. You always feel a bit bloaty after one of those big flights. No one feels sexy getting off a stinky... Full of farts. And very tangy all over the body. My ex was sitting on the floor in front of me

while I was massaging his shoulders, grabbed my hand, pulled it forward, put a ring on it and said, would you marry me? That's not too bad. Yeah, that's kind of cute. Yeah. I was proposed to in a sleep out at a batch in Taupo. I said yes, but always give him a hard time about waiting and doing it at the lake or something.

I mean, we had all these picturesque surroundings. Like mountains, lakes. Around it. Geothermal hotspots. I go and stand next at the lake or something. I mean, we had all these picturesque surroundings. Like mountains, lakes. Around it. Geothermal hotspots. Like going to stand next to a geyser. It was a New Year's Eve. He got more obsessed with the fact of timing rather than location. Right.

But then after that, New Year's was a complete flop. Been married nine years. Nine years this week. Okay. Congratulations. Congrats. My now husband was so drunk when I turned around and saw him on one day, I thought he'd fallen over and I tried to help him up.

My husband proposed to me via text message after an argument and just said, go choose a ring if you want, and that was the proposal. Now that text started with my husband, not ex-husband. My ex got blackout drunk and proposed to me during my speech at his 21st in front of all of our family and friends. I had to say yes as he'd already started crying. Oh, Bubba. He woke up the next morning and didn't remember a thing while I'm fielding calls and texts from family congratulating us and I had to tell every single one of them it wasn't real.

There's a reason this started with ex. We did stay together two more years after that. Oh, wow. 21st proposal. You don't know what you're doing at 21 though, do you? No. started with X. We did stay together two more years after that. Oh, wow. 21st proposal. You don't know what you're doing at 21 though, do you? No. Play.

ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. The ultimate live theatrical experience. Drama school. It's a $40,000 degree I got. Raw and uncensored. Oh, f***. Get ready for the triumphant return of Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley live.

Well, that guy just did the whole announcement, the voiceover guy. Should we just play another song? Yeah, we're just done. Oh, no, don't do that. Good from you. We're coming back live, baby. Yes.

So, now, we did kind of tease this announcement yesterday online. Yeah, we had some. And there were a lot of requests for cities and towns around the country. Now, we hear you. We hear some of you. We literally can't go everywhere We literally can't go everywhere. We can't go everywhere, but there is a reason we are going to do these next two live shows

when we do them, because on the 5th of April, 2024, we will be doing a live show in Auckland again. And then on the next day in Christchurch, April 6th, we will be doing Fletch, Juan and Hayley live. And the reason we are doing those two shows that weekend is because it is 20 years

since Fletch and I started working together. 20 years! Literally, April 5th, the Auckland show date is the day my nana had written in her diary and she's passed away. She's no longer with us. But every year she'd ring me on that date and say, it's been so and so years since you started working with Fletch.

Aww, that's sweet. So we're going to celebrate that. We're going to revisit some memories from over your 20 years. I will be there too. Just to keep it fresh. And it will be completely different from the first Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley

live show that we did in Auckland. Yeah, yeah totally. It's going to be fun. We're going to have... from the first Fletchborn and Hayley live show that we did in Auckland. Yeah, yeah, totally. It's going to be fun. We're going to have... Well, the first one wasn't. He said it's going to be totally different and you said, yeah, it's going to be fun. Oh, yeah, that was a sham. That was terrible.

We worked out the kinks. Yeah, you wait. No, we're so excited. We're so, so excited. We can't tell you... Are you going to do another Hayley's Live? Hayley's Version Live? Hayley's Version Live.

100%, if you'll allow, if you'll have me. Absolutely. If you'll have me, I'll do it. We'll bring out the old keyboard. Maybe I'll bring my keytar. Some yarns from over the years of 20 years working together. Yeah. And just the usual live shenanigans.

Some larky. And I tell you what, it's an R18 event. It is because we have, and we've got a sponsor this time as well, Heineken Silver. All thanks to Heineken Silver, a surprisingly smooth, low-carb Heineken. Yeah. So R18. The thing we like about R18 as well is, God, it gets a bit rogue, doesn't it? It does.

It did last time. You're getting a ruckus. It did. It did last time. You get a ruckus. It did. Now, so the dates again for Fleshborn and Hayley Live, April 5 in Auckland, April 6 in Christchurch. We are finalising the venues. That will be done in the next couple of days. But in the meantime, register for first access to the tickets

for when they go on sale at ZM Online. Yeah. And so we will be in touch once you register as well. But we'll announce those dates in the venues in the next couple of days. I think we've covered everything off, haven't we? I think so. And then later in the year, hoping to get around to some other... Because I know we'll see your comments.

We see your comments. We do. We will. We will get there. Westport. We see your comments, Westport. I love the West Coast. Me too.

Wild Foods. Wild Foods was on at the weekend. Always an absolute hoot down there. Should we do it at Pancake Rocks? Outside? I don't know if the population... All balancing on Punakaiki. I don't know if the population base would support a show.

First one, Hayley Live in Punakaiki. Are you sure? Okay. We won't make promises to anywhere. But we're excited. All the details at ZM Online. Do you think the orphans are going to show up again? Because, God, they were at the last one.

No, they're Christmas orphans. Yeah, because they did get adopted out. They can probably be rested this time around, maybe. I don't know. I think they... We are getting closer to Christmas every day. Christmas 2024. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Naily. We are getting closer to Christmas every day. Christmas 2024. We went to Pink on Saturday night.

It was an absolutely amazing concert. What a performer. The acrobatics and stuff was worth it alone. Who's checking her wires? I thought she was literally flying above Eden Park. Yeah. Who put the wires up? I don't know.

What did they anchor them to? And how do they, because we saw when we went to find a spot, and we kind of got there a little bit, like, right before it started, there was just a pole sticking out, and then someone said, that's where she lands. I was like, what? Yeah. She just lands in the middle of the crowd on a tiny pole. Like, there was no platform on it. It was like big enough for her to

put two boots on and that was it. And so we stayed there and then she landed there during the show and I was like with absolute precision it must be like predetermined but they it's insane. Because when they have that

thing above a sports stadium, that camera that whizzes around up there, the spider cam, that pulls itself on the different wires. But she doesn't have the motors attached to her.

It must be out. The motors are all in sync at the different attachment points. Yeah, they must be pulling. And one pulls and one pushes because if one was just pulling

and the other wasn't, like, letting it out at the same, she would dip. I was fascinated to share my other wasn't, like letting it out at the same time, she would dip. I was fascinated to share my panics. It is insane how it works. It was such a great concert. And one of the things that is popping up yesterday and Monday and today

is the amount of people that saw us at the concert. Because we were with a large group of the gaggle who have sort of in themselves become quite infamous, plus Maddie McLean was there and a lot of people were papping us. A lot of mums were loving Maddie McLean. Oh, yeah, well, he was getting this boogie on. Anyway, I woke up to a couple of messages saying, oh, I saw you at Pink last night, looked like you were having lots of fun.

Someone literally just texted in asking if you got a bottle of water. Because when you were leaving, you really looked like you were enjoying some chewing gum. Chewing gum? Oh, I ate half a bloody box of Eclipse mints because I'm on keto and I was like gagging for food and they were only like chips and stuff.

I had Eclipse mints in my bag. I was eating them like they were like candy. Aren't they a diuretic if you had two? Yeah, they are. I shat myself. I was leaving Eden Park. Beautiful. Worth it though.

Anyway, I got this message from a listener, Claudia, who said, I went to Pink last night and it was a great time. The absolute best part though was seeing you marching, going hard, straight into the male bathrooms. Zero Fs given. a girl on a mission. Hope you had the best time.

It's my number one rule. I need too many eclipse mints. I'm not standing in the woman's queue. I know. There's always a queue for the woman's toilets, eh? Well, thank you. I can't remember her name, but the first time when we just got there, I was already busting to go to the toilet,

and the ZM listener, the line was huge. And the ZM listener was like, Sproul, get in here. Oh, she had your back. She had my back. Because remember, a ZM listener cut my cue when we went to Matchbox 20. It's karma. It's karma. Exactly.

So I did go to the men's toilets. And if, gentlemen, you saw me in there, there was no cue. I, like, went went in head down i don't look at the urinals i'm not there to see willies i'm there to wait okay went for a wee came back out it was all good no harm done i didn't take someone's spot meanwhile these silly women are just waiting in the line forevermore i do feel that there's often a an unbalance when urinals are an option but as soon as there's not urinals, women get more toilets than men.

So I have no, I've used a woman's bathroom before in an individual closed door cubicle situation when there's a line for the men because we might only have two. Yeah. But then women have got eight. Well, and a lot of concerts, if they're female skewed artists,

will just relabel the men's toilets for females. Yeah. I've seen events where they've just added signs to the men's. Yeah. What is gender, you know? What is gender these days? One's an upside-down triangle. One's a right-way-up triangle. That's what gender is.

That's all it is. Which way do you point your triangle? Yeah. My mind changes all the time depending on how quickly I need a wee. Yeah, like, I'm that triangle. Horrible place to leave a concert from when 50,000 people are leaving. Oh, okay.

Jesus. Only the nation's most well-known sports ground. Oh, no, the venue itself was great. Oh, lovely. Leaving. Luckily, we had a friend. We went back to a, we had a bit of kick-ons.

Well, I didn't. I went home to sleep. You got on a beam. Because I'd had enough. But we walked. And a, we had a bit of kick-ons. Well, I didn't. I went home to sleep because I'd had enough. And then in the morning, Hayley left because I went out to the gym and I said, see you later. Just let yourself out. Got home in the

spare room where she was staying. Smelled like roast chicken. She'd pre-bought a roast chicken. You know, what happened was, because I'm on keto at the moment, and I wanted to make sure I had enough food, right, that I wasn't going to, like, run out of snacks and reach for a chip. So I bought a half chook, and I brought it round to Fletcher's

for some pre-drinks, and I was like, I don't actually want it now. I'll pop it in the fridge. Great thinking. So that when I get home, I'm not lured in by something else. I'll know the chicken's there. Now, I stumbled home a couple of hours after Fletch got home, and I got my chook, and I took it into the bedroom and I fingered off some chicken and ate that and put it next to the bed and went to sleep. And then the morning you came

in to get a clothes horse, leaving the door ajar and Major Murray came in sniffing for chicken. Of course he did. Did you smack him? I clipped him around the head. No, I didn't smack you. Stop smacking my cat. I didn't smack you. Because stop smacking my cat. I didn't smack your cat. But yeah, when I was leaving and I was packing up all my stuff, I was like, man, this room reeks of chicken. Yeah, and do you know what? She left chicken juice on the duvet.

Did I? I don't think that was chicken juice. There's chicken juice on the duvet. And now I've got to wash the duvet. You think I shat myself because of all the Eclipse mints? Well, either way, I've got to do a duvet wash with a grease removal. Oh, no. Spot clean.

What do you use for your grease spot cleans? A bit of Sard soap? Yes, Sard. A bit of Sard. Sard and a thing. A squishy bottle. A trigger bottle. Oh, you've got a Sard trigger.

I've got a Sard trigger. We'll have a Sard. Because we're a bit of friend. Sometimes. I don't know. Just one from the supermarket. Yeah. Well, anyway. Yes. You want to know. Just one from the supermarket. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, anyway. Yes. You want to get the sards open, but circles. Little circles of sard. No, you want to dab. Do you dab the sard? No, it'll work the circles of sard. No, because you cause it to pull.

Some people go, I'll spray it. Just spray it. Little circles of sard. Spray it and work away at it. Spray it. Little circles of sard. Then pop the sard back in the glad bag and seal it. Nobody's using a bar soap for their washing.

Calm down. Get stains out better. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day theme is pilots. Okay. People who fly planes. Did you come up with this because of the news story that that is...

Two pilots? So this is not new. Okay. What you were about to say. It's been put up again, but it certainly isn't new. But BALPA, the British Airline Pilots Association, and it annoys me here because they've given AL a home in the acronym. Oh, and it doesn't need one.

But it doesn't because airline's one word. It should be BAPA. BAPA. BAPA. Yeah, right. But it's BALPA. Or BAPS. BAPS would be better.

I love BAPS. BAPS. British Airline Pilots Squadron. Yeah, there you go. Squadron's a great one. It makes you think of pilots, doesn't it? There you go. It's like when there's a business and they do an acronym.

Am I using acronym right? Acronym. And it's got of or that in it, and they do an acronym. Are you using acronym right? Acronym. And it's got of or the and they don't put those letters in. Yeah. Put the O's and the T's and the of's and the because it makes the word balanced. Anyway, that's just me and acronyms. That's just me and acronyms. Belper did a study in 2013. They asked their pilots and, of course, it was completely off the record.

This is their union. These are the people. They said that more than half of pilots have fallen asleep while in charge of a plane. What? Of the 56% who admitted sleeping, 29% told Belper that when they had woken up, the other pilot was asleep as well.

Because that's the article I read this morning that I thought was bizarre. This is a story out of Indonesia, a Batik airplane. The pilot and co-pilot fell asleep for 28 minutes, and then they both lied about it, why they were so off course. They were like, nope, nothing happened. They're off course, so the plane's just careening towards nothingness. So it drifted off its planned path. So has this just happened?

Because this story was from 2013. Yeah, this has just happened. Oh my gosh. So about half an hour after the plane took off, the captain asked permission from his second in command to rest for a while. And he said yes. The co-pilot took over command and then fell asleep

himself. A few minutes after the last recorded transmission, the control of the aircraft was handed over and the air traffic control received no answer. And this 10 years almost to the day of MH378's appearance. Yeah, God. That's not good.

So this, in 2013 when this was coming in, it was because there was new rules being introduced that allowed pilots to land an aircraft after being awake for 22 hours straight, which previously they were not allowed to do, and to work seven early starts in a row rather than the current three.

Yeah, I was just going to say, why were they so, there's something that's wrong here, right? Why were they so tired? Pilots shouldn't wrong here, right? Why were they so tired? I really like my pilots tired. You know, just those accidental errors that can happen. Yeah, me too. Really sleepy boys. It's like flying a bit more exciting, you know?

43% of British Belper Union pilots believed that their abilities had been compromised at least once a month in the last six months by tiredness. 84% of them at the time said it was compromised at some stage during the last six months. So tired plays a massive role. Being tired plays this massive role too. Could we ever sleep on here?

Because we're quite tired. I get a bit tired, but I also don't have 300 people's lives in my hands. I reckon even if you did, you'd still have a nap. Yeah, dude. Just like rest. Let's have a rest. I struggle to sleep on planes,

but I bet if I was the pilot, I could. Yeah. No. That's terrible. But have you ever walked past a cockpit door when it's open? They have like real lush sheepskin covers. I'm like, oh, nappable. Because do they sleep in the

saddle? I think they should have a Shakti mat. I think every pilot should. So that they don't sleep. Yep. Well, the big planes have like bunk beds. Yeah, they do, eh? They actually like take themselves off for a sleepy bed. And do they tag in and out? Yeah, they have shifts. Okay. Gosh. That's good stuff. This one, I don't want this fact

to have painted pilots in a bad light. Oh, no. And we're going to do some positive stuff in the week. It's not all going to be doom and gloom to put people off flying. Although with the price of flights, it would be quite good if people were a bit more scared. So they didn't go, so you got the cheaper flights. You know what I'm saying here. I like what you're doing here, Steve.

You know, I've got friends that are pilots. They train so much. Yeah, they never stop learning. They never stop. Yeah, it's insane the amount of training they go through. So you should feel in safe hands. Yeah. It's just when the wheels start falling off.

That's not anything to do with them. That's kind of out of their hands. That's out of their hands. Do you see that video at the weekend? It was the United Airlines, like, massive big, like, Boeing 737, 777. And a wheel just fell off. Because you know those plain-spotted nerds always take videos of takeoffs? Perfect video.

And you just see this massive wheel fall off. Wait, it fell off on takeoff? Yeah. So it had already done all the hard work? No, it's got to land. No, but it had just been all the way it had been on the wheel and it's running like wait off and the wheel's just like plomp. Jeez, that's terrifying. I know.

But there's like a hundred wheels. There's heaps of wheels. Don't worry about it. Wait, but how'd they change the wheel? I'm going to find the what's that? How'd they land? Well, they landed okay because there like a hundred wheels. There's heaps of wheels. Don't worry about it. Wait, but how'd they change the wheel? I'm going to find the... What's that? How'd they land? Well, they landed okay because there's a hundred other wheels. They had all the other wheels.

I thought there were only two wheels. No. There's two wheels on each side of the... Don't they go to bloody Tony's tyre service and get a couple of... Cost them a bloody fortune. Yeah. Well, Tony would make sure it's bloody on there secure. He would, actually.

Shit, she would. Yeah. That's what they needed to get to Tony's. That's right. Get those lug nuts nice and tight. So today's fact of the day, and the first for pilot week, is that 56% of pilots admitted they'd fallen asleep, and 29% of those pilots said they'd woken up

and the other pilot was asleep as well. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day So Madonna is also I didn't even really know that she was doing Massive concerts at the moment Because Well we've been in Swifty land Yeah we have

You know And Pink land And Madonna's like Hey I'm over here I'm back and better than ever Because she had that Terrible sickness Last year or something

She was in a coma Wasn't she Yeah That's right Anyway she's back And she's on tour Icon She's an icon, Madonna.

However, she has made the news over the weekend for an incredibly embarrassing interaction with an audience member. What are you doing sitting down over there? What are you doing sitting down? Oh, okay. Completely incorrect. Sorry about that. I'm going to go here.

So it's kind of hard to understand She says what are you doing sitting down She's got everyone up on their feet right What are you doing sitting down over there What are you doing sitting down They're in a wheelchair They're in a wheelchair She like literally walks over and is like get up

Basically and then sees it and then when she's like Oh politically incorrect I'm sorry I'm happy you're here and just like carries on politically incorrect is such a weird thing to say there I know I've made an honest mistake I'm so sorry you know me

politically incorrect no you just put your foot in it basically you'd want to die you'd just want the hole to open up in the ground and swallow you. Yeah. And disappear.

That's so awkward. It is so awkward. The crowd's also just a bit like, eee! Yeah, they did that. It had like a pop. Yeah, they popped a bit to be like, eee! Wow, in a wheelchair here. Anyway, I don't think that the person who was in the wheelchair

has said anything yet or anything, you know. She's come out and apologised again, right? Oh, totally. Of course she has. And look, it was just an in-the-moment honest mistake. I want to know when you said the absolute wrong thing. You've put your foot in it. Oh, people do this all the time when they assume someone's pregnant. Yeah.

Nobody wants to be on either the receiving or the giving end of that. That's why you never say it. When I went into a store and I tried on a dress and she said it would be good room to grow. Now, we've had that. I know Karwin's had it. We just don't want, you don't do it.

But it happens all the time, doesn't it? It does. When did you say the absolute wrong thing? I was with a friend at a bar. It was years ago and the guy behind him kept bumping into him and he just turned around while saying, stop being so pushy. And the guy was in a wheelchair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why was the wheelchair guy pushing him? He was ramming him with the wheelchair. Don't be ramming. I don't know if he wanted to get, like, I don't know, the whole thing where I was just like, yeah. Awkward.

Yeah, really awkward. You could be an asshole in a wheelchair. I'm kind of with the thing, regardless. You're being pushy. Please don't push. Yeah, but I don't know. Yeah, look, I don't know. You think he was being pushed

and because he was on wheels, he couldn't stop himself. Yeah, maybe because it was quite tight. The crowd was quite tight. He's got a handbrake. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. He can still be an arsehole. He can still be an arsehole in a wheelchair. Yeah. Is that

an episode of Coober Enthusiasm? It feels like it. It feels like it could be. It feels right on brand for it, for sure. It really does. We want to take your calls. 0800 DALS at M. You can text through 9696. Oh no! Okay, here's an example. Asked a lady with one arm if she needed a hand. It's a genuine mistake.

It's just a turn of phrase. That's good stuff! It's just a turn of phrase. I know, if you had one hand, you'd just let it go, right? But you say to people all the time, do you want a hand? Do you need a hand? Yeah. Yeah?

Can I have a forearm if you've got one? Yeah. Anyway, when did you say the wrong thing and you absolutely put your foot in it? We want to know when you put your foot in it, said the wrong thing at the wrong time because Madonna asked someone in a wheelchair why aren't you standing up at her concert?

Very awkward. Very awkward. And I tell you what, that is just the top of it. That's the tip of the it. Because, man. That's the tip of the iceberg. Brendan, what happened? G'day, guys.

How are you? You're really good, Brendan. That's good. Hey, I'm a commercial photographer, and I got employed by a restaurant to come and take photos of the patrons and them enjoying and all that sort of thing. So I walk up to these beautiful four women, and I said, hey, can I take your photo?

They're enjoying their cocktails and enjoying the restaurant. They're like, yeah, cool. So I start taking the photos, and I'm like, cool. And I look down at the camera, and I'm like, right, oh, she looks a bit drunk. You know how people just don't really like photos of them? You know, when you capture them and they're in the wrong light, you know, you might have caught them off guard. Yeah, we've all got female friends.

We don't care. light, you know, you might have caught them off guard. Yeah, we've all got female friends. But yeah, I was looking at the photo, I was like, oh, this one particular lady looks a bit drunk. Let's try it again. And I said, oh, you look a bit drunk. And they're like, cool. And I looked back up and it looked like this lady had suffered from a stroke. Oh my, oh my. She wasn't drunk. back up and it looked like this lady had suffered from a stroke. Oh mate.

Oh mate. She wasn't drunk. I get a bit droopy when I drink. You know, I get it. My gut dropped. I'm even shaking about it now. You've got to let it go. You've got to move on. That shows you're a good person. You agree to it.

You feel terrible to this day. Do you look a bit drunk? Oh no. I've had a stroke on. Oh that's horrible. Oh God Brendan. That was awful. That was honestly

awful. Thank you for sharing though. It must be hard to relive. Yeah. Yeah. We appreciate it. Thanks Brendan. So many messages in.

Where do we start? Some of them are here like oh no like Brendan he feels bad about it. Some people are here just, what were you thinking? Yeah. I've got a cousin with dwarfism and I was having a chat to him and I just said how much I love hanging out with him

because he's so down to earth. Down to earth. Yeah, it's very close to the earth. Down to earth. Of all the things I could have said, I said down to earth. Right now, though, we're talking about. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know.

These are actually making me. Some of them can't even be read out. Some of them are so. There's such horrendous situations where people have said the wrong thing. When you said some of them can't be read out, you looked at Hayley as if to say. No, because I look at her because she's got the text machine. You're busy. Yeah.

With all of the dials and buttons and sliders. There's so many messages. One of them was, I had to go at my neighbour for cutting down the tree between us as we would have no privacy with him staring in. He's blind. Now they're long-term neighbours. She knows this. The moment she said it, she was like, hey.

Oh, yeah. I worked at a bridal store and a bride came in to try on gowns with her group, including an older man. And I said to him, you must be so excited for your daughter. Never say it. Insert pause. He paused and he replied, oh, I'm her fiance. Never ever again have I assumed such a thing.

12 years on and I still think about it every day. Oh, my God. Yeah. But let's be honest, you're used to it, aren't you? Yeah. I made a joke with my patient. I'm guessing a nurse or a doctor here. Told him I was just pulling his leg.

He called me a cheeky bugger. He doesn't have any legs. Emma, good morning. Good morning. What happened? Were you the one that wanted to dig a big hole and disappear? Yes. Okay.

I used to manage a jewellery store and I used to have this regular customer that would come in all the time. Yep. Specifically to see me and long story short, she didn't come in for a while and then just out of the blue she turned up. And I was happy to see her. We started talking. I was like, hi, how have you been?

She was like, oh yeah, you know, I've been busy. And she had her hands on her. We started talking. I was like, hi, how have you been? She was like, oh yeah, you know, I've been busy. And she had her hands on her stomach. So you know where this is going. So I was like, oh my god, came out from behind my counter. Behind my counter. I actually came round. I wish you didn't.

And I was like, oh my god, congratulations. And I even gave this belly a rub. No, you didn't. You didn't judge a belly. No. And then she looked at me, she's like, I'm not pregnant. And I was like, oh, what?

Oh, no. And I had a full store. People were looking at me. I felt judged. Oh, no. Did she stop visiting you after that? She did, yes. That would have been about the only time I reckon any jewellery store

employee would have been like, what do I do with the ramroad right now? Yeah, love for a car to just barrel through that. It would be good if a bunch of masked individuals came in and smashed the display glass. To make it worse, guys, I was like, oh, I'm not saying it's that. Oh, my God. Stop talking, Emma.

Stop talking. Shut your mouth. I would have flicked the switch for that smoke thing. Yeah, yeah, the gas. And then when it cleared, you were gone. Bomb cannons activate. Emma, thanks for sharing. Some more messages in.

Oh, my God. Goodness me. I was at a wine and food festival and a well-known woman who had had an accident and was in a wheelchair went past with a wine in her hand. This is a wild story. It goes on. Someone walking the other way thought it would be funny, not knowing her backstory, would have thought it would be funny to say,

whoa, drunk driving, because they're in a wheelchair and they're having a wine. I turned around absolutely shocked and embarrassed on behalf of this person who said this idiotic thing. And then when I turned and looked, the woman in the wheelchair stopped and turned and she thought I had said it.

Oh, no. And she said, piss off, you bitch. And I was like, I didn't do anything. Oh, my God. Absorbing someone else's is so painful. My friend's dad was really badly burnt in a house fire. He came around one summer and I was complaining to him how I'd spent all day in the sun and I was burnt to a crisp.

And he replied, he replied, I know the feeling. Oh, no. Oh, no. God. These are so good. There's so many cases of people like going to offer a hand and there's no hand. There's so many people. Went to put blood pressure cuff on a patient's arm.

Another nurse here asked them, put your other hand on my shoulder. There wasn't one. I was in a bikini and I had a ciggy, but I didn't have a lighter. And I said to somebody, have you got a lighter? And as they pulled the lighter out and they said yes but I just don't think you should be smoking while you're pregnant. I was not pregnant. Oh not pregnant. Oh for God's sake just keep your opinion to yourself.

I've got a blind work mate. It's so ingrained in everybody to say see you later rather than goodbye. Oh yeah. So you'd be like see you later and they'd be like yeah but I won't see you. I've done it again haven't I? I've said it again. I've said it again. As a teen, I was working at the local video store. A customer had specifically

requested an R18 film and when it arrived they picked it up and when they left, they automatically said, and you have yourself a good afternoon. There was nothing wrong with it, but it was just the fact that everybody knew what that person was off to do. Yeah, yeah. Oh no.

Okay. Oh no. Oh no. Oh, my God. This, okay. Oh, no. Okay. On my way to, oh, no. There's too many. I was selling poppies for Anzac Day and asked a war vet if he had any shrapnel. Shrapnel? Shrapnel.

Like coins. Like coins. Like coins. Oh. Anything? You got any donations just from shrapnel? I'm a war vet. Yeah.

I know all about shrapnel. Got a bit of grenade in my leg still. On my way to meet a friend after work, I was in the back of a taxi putting on some lippy. The taxi driver said, heading out on a date. He said, no. And I said, no, just a friend. Then he said, oh, I just wondered because you smell gorgeous.

Then he panicked. It was too over-familiar. And he said, you don't look gorgeous. Oh, I'm busting for a wheeze after that podcast, I'll tell you. It's a podcast. You are allowed to listen to it while you're wheeze. There's no rules on when and where you're allowed to listen to a podcast. It just says here I'm busting for a wheeze.

I read it, okay? I read it. Give us a review.