ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 11th October 2023

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshporn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fleshporn and Hayley's got his flannel out. Yeah, I've got a hot compress on my eye, I've got a sore eye, and I've never had a sty before, but all symptoms point to that. I've had one, it's horrible.

I went through a period of getting them. I think because we wear makeup as well. And if you don't completely get it off, it blocks your bloody things. That's when I got mine after we had a photo shoot and it clogged a pore. Yeah. It clogs a pore in your eye. Eyelash. In your eyelash. Eyelid.

In your eyelid, yeah. Can you see a little white thing? Yeah, I gave it a good squeeze. No! I gave mine a squeeze and that's how it cleared up. No, but you shouldn't on your eyes. I'll wash my hands first. Oh, don't look at me. You look like you're bloody on crack or something.

Yeah, because of the hot water in my eye. I mean, this is what he says happens. Does he need to take the day off? Yeah. Is there an option to take a day off? I've always been told I just have to turn up for work for anything, regardless. Unless you're dying. No, you to take a day off. Not for that. I've always been told I just have to turn up for work for anything, regardless, unless you're dying. No, you can take a day off.

No, you can't. Yeah, you can. Off you pop. It's just your voice. We've got it. Your voice is fine. I'm more than a voice. I'm a man.

I'm a man. I know you are. I know. I'm a man. Coming up on the show, the top six, the All Blacks playing Ireland on Sunday morning, 8 o'clock.

Yeah, but I just want everybody to calm down because we might not win this one. I've got the top six of the sporting events we've still got to look forward to in 2023 if the All Blacks lose this weekend. Right, because if they lose, they're home. They're out. Wow. Because the Australians are... Or they'll hang around.

No, Australians are already on their way back. Yeah, but Australians are like the worst losers ever. Yeah, they are. I like to think we could hang around and have a couple of wines in the south of France. Oh, hell yeah. You know, watch a couple more games. Go see some shows or something. Yeah, yeah.

Soak up the culture. Well, the top six coming up. Add to trolley. Thanks to Countdown as well at 8 o'clock. Kicking that off with the first item. So make sure you're listening just after the news at 8 to win. But next on the show... We're going to talk about the closing shift. Not in the workplace.

In the home place. The closing shift. New trend. Okay. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I should have requested closing time. Time for home and now go home.

So gather your drinks and your friends. She's nothing if not lyrically very capable. Closing time. You don't have to. I mean, I could play this song, but do we want to? Why bother? I've basically covered it. One last call for alcohol.

Yeah, so finish your whiskey or beer. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. I know. Stop, stop, please stop. Should we just do a sing-along show? Hump Day. Instead of talking about the things we plan to talk about. There was a bar in Nelson that always played this song.

Yeah, this was 100%. This was the gig tour at the Outback in Hamilton when the lights came on. And everyone was like, oh. Cameron, we'll see. Or you'd be like, oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, fantastic. The reason I'm talking about closing time

is because there is hashtag closing shift going viral. Now, if you've worked in hospital, you've all done a closing shift before, which is this, basically. You're at the end of the night, and you get all the punters out, and then you've got to clean. Yeah, but they've turned the machines off.

You can't get anything made for you, and it says they're open until 9pm or 11pm. Sir? But they're like, it's 20 minutes before, and they're like're open until 9pm or 11pm. Sir? But they're like, it's 20 minutes before, and they're like, no, sorry, we're... It's closing time. As in the doors are closed. Because if they can get their staff out before the start of their next hour, they don't have to pay them.

Sometimes I feel like you're not spending enough money. Yeah, but I feel like the closing shift should be when they finish the business, when they close the business, you know? No, closing shift is when you're out the door. I know. Yeah, but I just want food. This disgruntled punter. Like I'm ever having dinner that late.

So closing shift is one of the latest TikTok trends. It's not about hospo or restaurants or bars. It's about the closing shift at home. The thing you do when it's closing time on your day and you're like, right, I'm going to go to bed. It's closing time. And then you do a closing shift. See, I would do, I kind of do this when I have dinner.

So I'll clean up everything in the dishwasher, turn it on or chuck it in, wipe the bench. Everything's clean. Everything in the bin. If the bin's full, bin's out. Okay, I didn't know it in. Yeah. Wipe the benches. Everything's clean. Everything in the bin. If the bin's full, bin's out. Okay, I didn't know it was this easy. This is literally what happens every night. Yeah, same.

If you leave your dishes just on the bench overnight, you're a bit of a monster. Unless you're pissed. It's a full... If you're a bit pissed, you're good. Check him in the sink. This is like you do a full house reset. You floof the pillows.

You might even do a cum. You might even do the rugs and everything is reset so that you start your day the next day. With a clean house. With a clean house. And then the next shift come in and it's clean for them. Do you spray and wipe the bench every time or do you just give it like a hot cloth?

Sometimes. Sometimes just a hot cloth. Depends how heavily I've cooked. Yeah. If there's a bollock nays all over the bench top. Oh, you need to spray a hot cloth. Depends how heavily I've cooked. Yeah. If there's a bollock naze all over the beach top. Oh, you need it. Yeah, spray and wipe. You need to spray and wipe.

If I have just a few crumbs, hot cloth. Hot cloth. Hot cloth. A little bit of hot cloth. Yeah, hot cloth. Because you also don't want to, you don't want to cancel inspection in the morning and all your dishes are manky in the sink.

Imagine if you get a D rating on your own home. It's embarrassing. Imagine people coming into your house and they come and there's a health and safety D rating and you're like, oh, yeah. It's a bit manky in here. Sorry, guys. Jen, was this the song that got banned after September 11? No.

One of the semi-sonic songs got banned. Why? Closing time, banned. You're not thinking of... Oh, yeah. Here we go. You're thinking of... What song got banned on 9-11?

Lots of them. I mean, obviously. Or anything with, like, fly in it, like, Learn to Fly, The Foo Fighters. Lots of them. I mean, obviously. Or anything with like Fly in it, like Learn to Fly, the Foo Fighters. Lots of ACDC songs. You're not thinking of Five for Fighting, but that became

a bit of a song after 9-11. Are you talking about Five for Fighting, Superman? Um. Every new beginning comes from some

of the beginnings and I mean, what a lyric. Bang. We got through the whole song. Just wipe down Comes from some of the beginnings And I mean, what a lyric. Bang. We got through the whole song. Wipe down your bench, Dean. You dirty monsters. Basically, the moral of the story is wipe your bench at the end of the day.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Short men. Yes. We all know one or two or three, sometimes on each other's shoulders to be the same size as an ordinary man. Stacked. Wow. Stacked up in a trench coat to try to get their way

into an adult movie. Yes. Even though technically they're already adults. Adults. Yeah, they could have just gone in individually. Yeah, and they peek through the little gaps in the jacket. Yeah. Short men make good lovers.

So there is this article that we've found. Yeah, with this bold claim, short men make great lovers. I'm trying to think about the shortest. Short men, great husbands. You have to be a lover before you can be a, well, maybe not if you're of the extreme Christian faith. Well, yeah. You'd of course be saving yourself for the sanctity of men. Or you could be a

renegade fighter if you're not a lover. So this article has come to light in our attention, and we thought I thought the closing time was a little old. My reference is not on the mark today. You've got your late 90s, early 2000s references today. I mean, rebel sports

for sure. Yeah. Producer Gerard, this article has come to light. Why short men make great husbands and we thought we'd run these points past you. As a resident short king. As a resident short king. As a short king. How tall are you for the listeners that are now trying to imagine you?

A tall 5'7". 5'7". Not really that short, eh? No, I don't think so. He's surrounded by We're quite tall As a crew We're a tall Yeah

We're a tall show Yeah stretched out Lanky bunch Thank you for calling us lanky I wouldn't No I don't want to be called lanky I fill out You know

Jesus Christ Vaughn You are useless Well I know one of them's about How close their head is To the pubic area No hands Yeah No hands What? No hands. Yeah.

No hands. What? No hands required. You can just walk into the room and... Eight legit reasons according to yourtango.com. He's just got the list. Short guys make the best husbands. What were you doing before we went on air? I was still trying to find what semi-sonic song was banned on you.

I told you there was no song where there's bands. I thought it was you on that list, and I was just like, why are these on the list? And there was... Anyway. I've been with a lot of short men. You should try it. Are you hitting on me?

You got someone in mind? No, no. What are we doing? What are we doing, JB? That's not what I meant. What if Jason Momoa was the size of Jared? Would you still find... That would of Jared? That would be weird. That would be strange because he's so wide,

like so stacked. Yeah. It needs height to stretch it out. Yeah. A legit reason short guys make better husbands. Number one, they're intimate more frequently, according to the Journal of Sexual Medicine. They're like little chihuahuas.

They're a little humpy. Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing? Get off. Get off. Get off my leg. Are they really? What makes them more humpy? Lucky dudes.

Getting it on most, we're 25 to 29 years old, weighed less than 172 pounds, which is... Not much. And we're five foot nine or under. That's about 200 New Zealand dollars. That's good for you.

It's about 75 kgs. Okay, Ryan. Oh, yeah, I'm under that. Yeah. And the height as well. Number two, that chock full of confidence. Napoleon Complex is actually code for ridiculously ambitious because they're the littlest dogs in the fight,

so they've got to bark the loudest. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know a little fellow. Short man syndrome, yeah. Usually kind of aggressive in defence of their height. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's definitely back in the early 2000s. Short men had a real complex about it.

Number three, they make you feel like a supermodel when you stand beside them because you're taller than them. Yeah, I can see that. Like if they chuck on some heels, suddenly they're a head taller than me. They just feel like a beast when they stand next to tiny men. They live the longest. Do they? Yeah, but men don't last.

Because it's like big dogs. Yeah. Bones, too much weight, too much. Hearts. Hearts got to come more distance. Inbred. Like those dogs. Yeah, it's just too much. Heart's got to come more distance. Inbred. Like those dogs. Yeah, well, you know Aaron. His cousins. You know the longest living men

are the men under five foot two. That's a little fella. That's a tiny, tiny fella. Less space to fill up with disease. I guess the blood doesn't have to keep going up and down so much as fine.

It's like a hummingbird heart. Yeah. They've got longer life expectancy. No, covered that one. God, I'm having a great day. It's like a hummingbird heart. Yeah. They've got longer life expectancy. No, covered that one. God, I'm having a great day. It's my style. Now, more committed. Research from

New York University found that men, short men, are significantly less likely to get divorced than average or tall men because their options are limited.

Options are limited. I was about to say that. The amount of girls on Tinder with, like, height restrictions. Yeah. Oh, like a Rambo's in Roller Coaster.

Yeah. It has to be this tall too. So you wouldn't even, if they've got a height restriction, you wouldn't even show up in their feed to swipe. I think just in their bio, they're like, I'm this tall, so that kind of looks too. Yeah, right. I'm sure you can't just eliminate people on their height.

Yeah, you can. Can you? Imagine if you could do it on their width. Oh, God. It would be terrible. Very problematic. They give you more options when dating. The average height for men is 5 foot 9, not 6 foot.

Once you drop that absurd height requirement, you'll double, maybe even triple your chances for love because there's more people. Yeah. That's why size 9 shoes are always the display ones. Yeah. Size your small foot. And then I put them on size 12 and they just look like clown shoes. Yeah. Such a small foot. And then I put them on size 12

and they just look like clown shoes. Yeah, I know. I'm long in foot. They're easier to match in height during intimacy. Because you're right there. Yeah, right there. It's trickier to be five foot one and kissing your six foot two boyfriend during intimacy.

Yeah, that's a shower accident waiting to happen, isn't it? That's a slip on the freshly cleaned floors. Their height prevents you from standing on your tippy toes. I like standing on my tippy toes. So you don't need to stand on your tippy toes and get sore calf muscles. Oh my God, sore calf muscles.

How long are you kissing for? Go to the gym. I'd just get a box. No one's ever had to stand on tiptoes for this guy right here a nice flat foot because they would be four foot on the step i was gonna say maybe they could almost squat down a little bit give themselves a bit of extra sometimes i like to stand like on the edge of the balcony and kiss aaron and say imagine if i was this tall well i'm six foot six now right yeah is that weird for that weird for him? He's like, yuck.

Okay. What did you think of that list, Jared? Yeah, I'm fine with it. I was expecting... Endorsed by a short king. Yeah, endorsed by a short king. I was expecting more shade. Congratulations on being a fabulous lover. Thank you.

I have references, so... Yeah, happy to check the references. Pass us the numbers. Hi there, this is Hayley from ZM here I'm just calling in regards to Jared Pickstock and whether or not he was a delightful lover to you He's trying to convince me to branch out to

Small Kings and I was just wondering if you could comment on the fact that The quality of the lingus, the quality of the The quality of it all I didn't do, I never did like a college route, you know like Quality of it all. I didn't do, I never did like a college, you know, like a uni roommate thing. Did you guys, did anyone do like, you know,

what is it, the residential halls? Yeah, like halls. Never did halls of residence. Nah, no one in the boothie. What was radio school? Was that room dorms, eh? Yeah, so we had like a kind of halls but self-catered. It was called O-House.

Or like free donuts and food and stuff. No, no, no. Self-catered. Oh, like a motel. Oh, so you didn't get that. But it was also like a flat situation, right? Like you had a living room and then five bedrooms.

Yeah, five of us. And like they all studied. There was like people who did like singing and dancing and then journalists and then a few radios. Such malarkey. In a real degree, like an acting one. Well, you know, this is massive in America. They've got a college dorm room.

We share a room. And your parents travel two hours in the car. And your parents drive with all your crap. And then you get there and you meet the roommate. It's like we see on the movies and the TV shows. Exactly. You don't know them at all. Well, there's one chick who shared this online

and this happened to her and she got there and she was like, help. My mom just dropped me off and my roommate hasn't even said hello to me and has been on FaceTime with her boyfriend for 72 hours straight. Like didn't hang up, phone plugged in, talking for 72 hours straight with her, like, high school boyfriend.

I was going to say, are they doing that thing where they're like, oh, we'll make it work. We'll make it work. We'll stay together. Oh, my God, this was great. Coming from a small town, all the girls at the end of the year with boyfriends, and they're like, we're going to make it work. And he's like, bless him, trade, diesel mechanic or something.

Yes. But he's staying in the small town, and she's off to Wellington. And I'm like, oh, you know, I'm going to make it work and he's like bless him trade diesel mechanic or something but he's staying in the small town and she's off to Wellington and I'm like oh you know it's hit you in that big city big you know what I'm saying

yeah everywhere and you've got all these smooth operators and these sexy boys it's not Morrinsville there's hot people in Wellington yeah

I know sexy arty people in Wellington as well and you've got your bloody plumber mate back in yeah yeah yeah he's bloody now, though. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I was the plumbing business. God, I wish I found a man in a trade. Yeah. Or a woman in a trade. But I didn't. Yeah, 72 hours straight. Because we had this as well at drama school. Everyone coming for their creative endeavours

and leaving their small towns and being like, my boyfriend lives back home. And you'd be like, oh. How long will that last? Only one of them did. You wouldn't even recognise your partner after when they came home at Easter or after a term at bloody Toy Focato, would you? You'd be like

Jesus. They'd be like, sorry. They're like, come inside. You're like, well I just need to be invited energetically into the room. Who would you like to come inside? Which one of my mini characters? Cassandra. I'd just shut the door and be like that's enough of that.

72 hour. I've never done, I've never FaceTimed anyone for that long. That's ridiculous. You would have to have your phone plugged in the whole time otherwise it would run out of battery. Definitely did like on the actual phone. Landline. Landline talking to Benjamin for like a good couple of hours until my mum was like get off the phone

or she'd like pick up the other phone downstairs and be like, hi Ben, Hayley needs to go to bed. We'd be like, man, stop embarrassing me. Nah,

they really got on. Oh wow, yeah. It was a really nice relationship actually. But yeah, that would be the only time that they'd be like,

cut it out. Yeah. If you want to go overseas. And the uni dinner, go, to tell you it had a low battery so you'd have to pick up that.

Oh my God, I'd be like, I've got to put it back on the cradle. You'd have to go on the old cord my God, I've got to put it back in the cradle. You'd have to go on the old corded one. Yeah, I know, in the hall,

and now everyone's going, you know what I'm saying? But also, same thing when people go on their OE, and they bring, and you know, someone stays back in New Zealand, they're like,

you're telling me you're getting on a boat in Spain, and you're not having a little, or lassie puppy? You know, you're telling me, that Mr. Wonganui's going to be waiting, while you're bloody In Mallorca

With Carlos Having a good feed of paella Paella Paella Paella That's hot Now I want to meet A man called Carlos

And eat some paella I can do you a Carl And some porridge Shit I'll take it That's the music version Yeah, yeah. Well, there's Carl. I can do you a Carl and some porridge. Shit, I'll take it. That's the New Zealand version. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six.

Hello there. This weekend, we play Ireland. The loser is out. Yeah. Of the Rugby World Cup. Now, they are currently number one in the world.

They've been playing very well. What are we? Where are we ranked? We were down. We dropped a lot. Yeah, we have been down. And they, do you remember,

they came here and beat us. They won their first series. Yeah. Oh, guys. All Blacks. World ranking. World rankings in rugby. One, Ireland.

Two, France. Three, South Africa. Fourth, New Zealand. Five, Scotland. Oh, goodness. Okay. Go to the UK, right? Let's just prepare this weekend.

It's okay. Don't want to be negative, but just saying. No, we have faith. Go the boys. The game is 8 o'clock Sunday morning. Australia's 10th. Yeah, they're already home, aren't they? Yeah, they've popped off. They've popped off home. So what I want to say is, you know, don't put all your eggs

in one basket. I've got the top six other sporting events we've got to look forward to if the All Blacks lose this week. Okay. Fantastic. Number six on the list. Literally any other sport we play against Ireland. Like what? Anything. Oh, yeah.

We always beat them in every... Do we beat them at football? I don't even... I wouldn't even know when we last played them. Yeah. And they're not the footballing nation that next door is.

Yeah, we beat them at cricket. Smash them at cricket. And then we even played them at that Irish version of cricket. What's that? Isn't there a Gaelic version of cricket? Oh, maybe. Oh, how silly.

Yeah, I don't think we've got a team that plays Gaelic football. Yeah. Although that's probably there, you know. Text us if we're wrong. I'd love to hear what we last lost at Ireland. Have you beaten them at marching? Well, they do a different style of marching. Do they march the Irish?

No, we've done a lot of Irish dances, but not. They dance. We're not going to beat them at that. What's that thing? River dance. River dance. We're not going to beat them at that. We're not going to beat them at that.

We won't. We simply won't. So let's not play them at that. We've got their arms locked down way better than we ever could. Yeah, their legs. Okay, the last time Ireland played the All Whites, we lost 3-1. When was that, though? 2019.

Okay, not that long ago. Okay. Next on the list. Number five on the list of the top six other sporting events we've got to look forward to of the year. All-Ax losers. We get to Ireland, the Cricket World Cup. It's currently on. You may not have even heard about it.

It's kind of been overshadowed. We had a couple of good wins. Beat England in the first game. A couple of great catches. Oh, yeah. Great catches. Great old, lovely Trenty. Trent for me.

Trent. His last name is... Trenty Bowles. Bowles. No, Trent Bolt. Bolt. Yeah. That's what I said.

What I love about you the most is your sporting knowledge. Oh, I know. For me. Yeah. For me, it's got to be cricket. It's got to be Trent Bolt. It's got to be... It's a ball about to catch up. Name some other ones in the most is your sporting knowledge. Oh, I know. For me. Yeah. For me, it's got to be cricket. It's got to be Trent Bolt. It's got to be... It's a ball about to catch up.

Name some other ones in the team. Phineas Flabergaster. And Chris... He plays Quidditch, doesn't he? Chris Cairns. Yeah, sure. I mean, yeah, he played cricket a long time ago. Stephen Fleming.

Yeah. And Joraya Ramaya. Joraya Maraya. Okay. We've simply got one of the best. No one's got an arm like Joraya Maraya.

Yeah. Right from the boundary he could launch it. From the boundary, no. Number four on the list of the top six other sporting events

we have to look forward to if the All Blacks lose this weekend to Ireland. The Gay Games. The Gay Games. The Gay Games. The Gay Games are happening in Hong Kong. These are the Gay Games postponed from 2022. In Hong Kong? I know!

What games do they play at the Gay Games? All of the games. All of the usual Commonwealth games. Oh, I thought they were specifically gay things. No, they're not. Like, what would be at the Gay Games if they were specifically... I'm too scared to say. All sorts, though. Yep.

Number three on the... Do we want to dwell on that or are we worried we're going to get in trouble? No, move on, move on. I'll get in trouble. Number three on the list of the top six

other sporting events we've got to look forward to if the All Blacks lose to Ireland are the Handball World Championships. Oh, where are they happening? The Scandinavian countries are sharing hosting duties. Oh.

I had a look at a list of the teams. Yep. Not bad. Not bad. Because they're really well... Very great teams, obviously. Yeah. World Champs for handful.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that New Zealand team quite good? Nah, we don't have a team. We don't have a team in it. We don't have a team in it. Why don't we be the team? Now, I looked it up. Handball was different to what I thought it was. I thought it was that one where you

stood in a square and you started a year. That's four square. I love four square. What is handball? We would definitely be in the four square world champs. Yeah. Why don't we put a team? It could be like Cool Runnings or something. Yeah. It could be like one of those Disney movies where a bunch of ragtag

handballers. We didn't win, but the real medal was the friendships. Yeah Yeah It'd be like one of those Disney movies Where a bunch of Ragtag Yeah Underdogs Handballers Underdogs We didn't win But the real medal Was the friendships We made along the way Was the friendships we made

And the lessons we learnt In here And we conned the government Out of paying for our flights To Scandinavian countries And we had a beautiful holiday Yeah Yeah

And number one on the list Of the top six other Sporting events We've got to look forward to If the All Blacks lose To Ireland this weekend The backyard cricket game At Christmas with your family, that starts out pretty casual.

Starts out pretty casual, but pretty quickly gets well out of hand and someone throws a cricket bat at somebody else. Thank God it's plastic. Yeah. Well, it has to be after the wooden bat incident. Yeah. Of which we do not speak. Of 2007.

Yeah. Well, we lost Grandad, didn't we? Yeah. RIP. That is today's top six. It is absolutely bold of vegetables, given their current price, for them to ask us to pick a favourite.

Bold of them to say, who would you vote for? There's a few popping up now, I noticed, in the supermarket that are cheap. You know, you get a couple of things and you're like, oh, okay that's not too bad. Avocados are back on the cheap bus. Yeah, there's avocados. Avocado time.

And then you're still getting a $15, you know, collie. It was an Instagram reel that got suggested to me, most overpriced things in the supermarket this week and it was a half melon that got suggested to me. Most overpriced things in the supermarket this week, and it was a half melon for $9.50. I was like, $9.50?

That's what you eat when you're away. It's mostly water. It's a breakfast buffer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. Only appropriate time for a melon. Top 10 most hated vegetables. 10, cabbage.

Rude. That's rude. You're just cooking it wrong. Yeah. Number nine on the most hated veggies, beetroot. Rude. You're cooking it wrong. Beetroot.

Just remember you ate it because you might otherwise think you are bleeding from the anus. Number eight. Asparagus. Rude. Yeah, smelly weeds though. Asparagus rules on the barbecue and it rules in an asparagus roll at a funeral. With a bit of a pecorino crumb.

A what? A little pecorino crumb. We didn't go to a private school. We don't know what that is. You don't have the asparagus with the pecorino crumb? No, no, no. I don't know what that is, darling. Pecorino is in cheese little pecorino crumb We didn't go to a private school We don't know what that is You don't have the asparagus With the pecorino crumb No no no Pecorino is in a cheese

A pecorino Yeah I don't have it now I simply must make you A pecorino crumb Number seven Silverbeet I'm on board

You're yuck Get out Get out Get out Get out You stringy shit Get out Stringy fibrous shit

Get out Salary By itself Yuck Couldn't agree more Yuck But it can play a part In like pretending you're healthy and eating cream cheese. Oh, yeah.

No, but like a bolognese, a soup, they require a celery. I could go without. Number five on the list. And I am angry that this is at number five. This should be at number two on the best vegetables, Brussels sprouts. Yum. You're cooking them wrong. You're cooking them wrong.

It's because we all have memories of having them as kids. Boiled. They were very bitter and boiled. But grilled. Grilled. Oh, my God. Yum. You're cooking them wrong. You're cooking them wrong. It's because we all have memories of having them as kids. And they were very bitter and boiled. But grilled. Grilled. Oh, my God. Yum. Roll them around.

Some of it charred on the top. Yeah. Some bacon chunks. Number four on the list. It's a hard dog to cook. It's the Swede. Oh, yeah. Turnip is sort of a situation.

Hard to cook. You've got to turn to the Swedes to see how to do the Swedes right. Number three on the list. Kind of agree because they're squeaky when you put them in your mouth. Broad beans. No, I love broad beans. They're too squeaky. Too squeaky.

Make them into a dip. Okay, I could eat a broad bean dip. To okra. Never. What is that? Never buy it. It's the holy one. Yeah, it's got holes in it.

Oh, yeah, I always see that. They make Japanese food a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Indian curries can use it apparently according to this list. Who voted on this? Big vegetables. I wasn't curries can use it apparently according to this list. Who voted on this? I wasn't actually asked. Big vegetables come out with this list. You're selling big vegetable.

Yeah. And kale's number one. Couldn't agree more. It's bitter, it's yuck. Top 10 good ones. Silverbeet, 10. Cabbage, 9. So these are hated, but they're also loved.

They're a controversial one. Eight is beetroot. Seven is asparagus. Six is spinach. I thought that might be on the top. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Spinach is okayroot. Seven is asparagus. Six is spinach. I thought that might have been one of the top hated ones. Spinach is okay.

Spinach leaves are okay. Good for you. You need those leafy greens. You do. Five is peas. Yum. Fresh peas though.

Only fresh. Don't freeze them. Yeah, only fresh. Four, carrots. Yum. Three, kumara. Love it. I'm blown away.

We're at two and I haven't seen potato. In fact, it's not on the list. Two, broccoli. Yum. Che, kumita. Love it. I'm blown away we're at two and I haven't seen potato. In fact, it's not on the list. Two, broccoli. Yum. Cheesy brock. And number one, tomato. Tomato.

Tomato's number one. No. Tomatoes are fine, but they're not a number one vegetable. Yeah, they're not number one. No. I would have thought potato. You say potato, I say tomato. I don't know who was asked.

Where's sweet kumita? Four and a half thousand people. Kumita's there on number three. Kumita was three. Oh, good, because I like that. Open your tarting up, boy. Yeah, I know, I say tomato. I don't know who was asked. Where's Kumita? Four and a half thousand people. Kumita's there on number three. Kumita was three. Oh, good, because I like that. Open your tarting up, boy. Yeah, I know, but no potatoes. No potatoes, that's wild.

Get out. What about the onion? There's not even an onion on there. Oh, no. On neither list. Onion is for sure. What about garlic? Is that a vegetable?

Yeah. That's a vegetable. It's a bulb, though. It's a bulb. Is that an onion? It would be a bulb, too. Yeah, it would be. Oh, I hate these semantics. It's a bulb. But it's not an onion. It would be a bulb too. Yeah, it would be. Oh, I hate these semantics.

Yeah, me too. A tomato's really a fruit? Because tomato is number one and technically it's a fruit. Yeah. This list sucks, Vaughan. Live with it. Now, we all watch The Chase. Don't pretend like you don't.

It's a great show. One of my absolute favourites. But I always try to play along And I feel like I would just panic under the pressure Even if you knew the answer Do you ever feel like that? If you were a contestant

Yeah if you had to do it Oh absolutely The lights The audience Bradley Walsh Yeah and just like the moment Like we used to play this game And have you been paying attention

You'd go like You've got you know 15 seconds to name me And you're like Your brain just goes like this. Anyway, there was a contestant on the chase and he was doing his individual bit. Oh yeah. You know, like they do an individual bit and then if they, and then they become a team. Because I never watched that, but I only, if I ever see the chase, it's like five minutes before the news starts. Yeah, right.

So I don't know how the game actually works. Yeah. That was what I used to be like. Yeah. Okay, so the question here was asked. First question straight out the gate for a thousand pounds. The YouTube channel Big Jet TV live streams footage of what type of vehicle landing? A plane.

Aeroplanes. Jet planes. Jet planes. Not jet skis? Is that one of vehicle landing? A plane. Aeroplanes. Jet planes. Jet planes. Not jet skis? Oh, he didn't. He did, hon. He said jet ski. How often does a jet ski land? You'd have to do jumps.

I think, like, he, just the word jet and the pressure of it, and he was like, jet skis, immediately. And then everyone basically laughed at him and then he was told he got it wrong. I'd be like, can you edit that out and I'll just say something else? Yeah. Anyway, I want to know

if there's a moment, because like afterward you can see in his face that he's like, oh my god, that's so embarrassingly stupid. You know when you have those moments where you're like, oh my god, that I'm so dumb, like how did that happen? I want to know those moments when you just like, oh my God, I'm so dumb. Like, how did that happen? Yes. I want to know those moments when you just thought, oh my God, I'm so dumb. You know, you just like, you say something so wrong.

Or you know when you're that thing, when you say a word over and over again and you're like, what does that word mean? Moment. Moment. Moment. Moment. Moment. Or you go to put your eye drops in, but it's super glue. Yeah, you do that at least once a week.

I do that once a week, yeah. Once a week. Listen, you won't know this, but Fletcher's got his eyes closed. Yeah. Or actually, is that why your eyes all bung at the moment? Because I put something wrong in it. No, I, no. It's a sty.

It's a sty. Or I did this yesterday when I was driving. I was like, man, my car's driving like shit. Handbrake's on. Does it not like help? Ding, ding, man, my car's driving like shit. Handbrake's on. Does it not, like, help? Ding, ding, ding, ding. No, no, my car's not fancy enough. It just has a bit of, like, tug on it.

Yeah, I've done that before. You're like, why is this car so slow? And then you're like, oh. Gotcha. I'm, like, pedal to the metal. There is a light on your dashboard that literally is an exclamation mark. I know, which is like, hey, hey, your handbrake's on. Yeah.

But I just want to know those moments where you just think, oh my God, I'm so dumb. I'm so dumb. It could be something that happens all the time. Yeah. Or just one of those one-off moments where you just thought.

Or just a monumental balls up where something so silly. Yeah. Just a small mistake. Yeah. You're like, oh my God, I'm so dumb. Or you thought there was a YouTube channel dedicated to jet skis landing. Yeah. Just a small mistake. Yeah. Oh, my God, I'm so dumb. Or you thought there was a YouTube channel dedicated to jet skis landing. I love this.

A work colleague asked someone to text him immediately why the house he was designing wasn't on Google Maps. Doesn't exist yet, mate. Wait, this is an architect? Yeah. I'm just trying to show you it on Google Maps. You probably take it off from it at that stage. show you it on Google Maps. You haven't... You'd probably take it off from it at that stage.

We haven't made it yet. You haven't made it. It hasn't been built yet, sir. So there you go. Okay, 0800DARLS at M. We want to take your calls. You can text through 9696. We want to share those moments where you just thought to yourself,

oh, my God, I'm so dumb. We want to know the moment where you just thought, oh, my God, I'm so dumb. Just those moments where you just catch yourself being real thick. Some people call them blonde moments. Yeah. You know, being blonde. Because there was a guy on the chase who just answered

one of the easiest questions so, so wrong. What was the question again there? The question was that a YouTube channel called Big Jets watches the landings of what type of vehicles? And he said jet skis. The answer is jets or planes. I do love watching a plane in like a Wellington windy day. When they come in that way.

Yeah. When they come in like with a shoulder forward. Yeah. A little side. And then they kind of cram onto the, yeah, that's good stuff. But it's not jet skis. Jet skis don't land. People are watching those to watch a crash, right?

We sort of want it to fail. That's what they want, a crash, right? Is that what gets people off on those channels? Yeah, I think so. We sort of want it to fail. How close it comes. I don't think people all want to see a plane full of people, I suppose. No, I know.

But you just want to see how close it comes to it. And be glad you weren't on that plane. But that's morbid, right? That's a bit weird. It's a morbid fascination. I want them to nearly die. But not die. Not die?

Yeah, obviously not. Nearly die. So some calls. Anonymous, good morning. What was your can't believe I'm this dumb moment? Morning, everyone. Yeah, I was working at university, which actually makes this even worse because one would think you had a little degree of intelligence, but clearly not. We had some parking changes, and restrictions

meant we had to find all-day parking a bit further out. So it just added to my walk into uni, and I found this fence, which if I climbed it and threw my bag over, I could sort of access the buildings I needed to a little bit quicker. So for a week I was parking in the same spot and throwing my bag over, climbing myself up and over. And I imagine that people were able to see this. And then a week later I drove past and about five metres up on the bend there was a pathway in.

Oh my God, fantastic. Good stuff, good stuff. You're scaling a fence With it Yep I love that I guess it's just a bit of morning exercise Bit of parkour

Bit of parkour Recently Thinking into Health and physical education I felt I was living You know The lifestyle Yeah

Walking the walk Why walk through A gap in the wall When you can go straight over it Exactly I love that Anonymous Thank you Claire What was your moment Where you couldn't Why walk through a gap in the wall when you can go straight over it? I love that. Anonymous, thank you.

Claire, what was your moment where you couldn't believe you were that dumb? Morena. So yesterday I came home from work. I pulled into my park, turned my car off, and it wouldn't turn off. And the radio kept playing and the lights were still on. And I was getting really stressed. I was quite worried, like, oh, what's happened to my car so i called my brother it's like my car won't turn off what do i do he's like have you checked that it's in park it was in reverse still it won't let you do it i've done that when i've been driving someone's car or rental i'm like pushing the off button or trying to turn off the key you're like oh my god

i'll just leave you running all day. And it's still in drive, you're just like, oh. Or when you try to start the game. Yeah, and I was quite upset as well and he's probably like, oh my goodness, you're done. I once did this, I had to drive a car and get gas in it for my dad. It wasn't our car, it was a

repossessed car, okay? He used to have a finance company. Anyway, pay your bills. I was driving it down to the petrol station before we were taking an auto. And I got to the lights and I stopped it and then it would not start. So I abandoned it. I put the hazard lights on, ran up the road back to the office. I was like,

the car is in the lights. And I got there and I just put the foot handbrake down and I like couldn't. And I literally just like stopped traffic for about 10 minutes. So I feel you there, man. And you get in such a panic.

Yeah, Claire, thank you. Some messages in. Okay. Are people dumb? Are people dumb? My sister thought the temperature gauge on the dashboard of a car because of the it looks like waves, it looks like a buoy, she thought it was indicating how close to the ocean you were.

That's good. Hey driver, close to the beach. And my other sister, who liked to tease her about that, had to stop teasing her about that when she put a plastic chopping board in the oven as an oven tray. Oh no. Okay, not the smartest by the sounds of it.

Oh, no. I grew up in a small town, and I thought Polytech was a technical school for Polynesians only. Man, I'd love to go to Polytech. Unfortunately, 100% white. Wow. Is that why they've called them institutes now?

Maybe to remove the confusion. Don't have to be Polynesian to go here. I went to the football club prize giving on Saturday night and our team's nominated fancy dress. Hopped in the car to drive home, sober. Turned the lights on. I was like, those aren't working right. Got out.

I was like, those don't look right. Tried the high beam. That was dim as well. And then I realised I had sunglasses on. And sober. And sober. Wow. Sunglasses on. And sober. And sober. Wow. Sunglasses on.

Everything actually is a bit dim. And sober. I was an airline onboard manager en route to Australia. And once I, as the door shut, I said, welcome aboard. We are bound for Austria. And people were like, oh, we're in the wrong flight. And I was like, and then everybody started panicking and I'd said the wrong country entirely.

It's Australia. I mean, close enough. Close though. Yeah. Close though. I text my friend asking if 900 grams was less than one kilogram while I was at the supermarket. She lives for the chance to tell people this, so I'm just going to tell you now. Was it one of us that we were talking the other

day about the fact that a kg and a litre is the same heaviness? It's the same weight. It's the same weight, yeah. I was trying to explain to someone, they were like, how do you translate mil to milligrams? And I was like, you don't need to. It's the same. It's the same.

It's the same. Milligrams, yeah. They were today years old when they learnt that. I'm 26 years old. Yesterday, after calling it lion dancing, I learnt that it was lion dancing because people stand in a line while they do the dancing. Yeah.

Someone said they felt pretty stupid yesterday looking at FEH Facebook page and discovering the orphans weren't real. Sorry they... I saw them. I don't know what you're saying. They were definitely real. But they are real. They're unfortunately very real. They're not here today. They're incredibly real. They're unfortunately very real. They're incredibly real.

They're out applying for jobs. Because you're not going to look after them. So they're pretty much sitting over there. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley Silly little poe Silly little poe It is so silly, silly, silly That the silly little poe Do you vote the same as your partner? We're talking parties. We're talking politics.

So we were discussing this at the weekend because our friends Mike and Matt, they are the complete opposite. The opposite. The opposite voting spectrums. Well, not like hard out, extreme far right or left. Yeah, we don't... Well, I suppose we do, but

I don't know. I've always had the same politics as the majority of my friends. Yeah. And I've always been the same politics as the majority of my friends. Yeah. And I've always been surprised when I meet friends that vote differently than me. I'm always like, what? Interesting. How interesting.

Aaron and I vote the same. Always have. Yeah. You and Sade. Do you discuss that? Yeah, we do. Especially on a year where, like, you know, everyone's like, this year's quite murky. So sometimes it's not so clear cut.

We discuss it, but we don't, not in depth. Previously, we voted the same. I feel like this election might be the first time. Really? Really. Interesting. Do you vote the same as your partner? Do you and Major Murray, sorry, you and Major Murray vote the same?

Yeah, he, well, he does. Yeah. Yeah, he does. He's actually quite right wing. He's a Nazi. I can't believe it. He's actually quite right wing. He's a Nazi. I can't believe it. He says some racist stuff. That's what happens when you're British, short hair.

Yes. That's our friend Mike's getting a plug in for his political party. No, Mike, there's no political parties being mentioned here. We're simply talking about exercising our democratic right to vote. He's allowed to vote for whoever he wants. That's his right. But see, he's our friend, but he votes completely different to us. Yeah, totally.

That's interesting. Do you vote the same as your partner? 41% of people said yes. 36%, only just behind, say no. And 22% don't know. Don't discuss politics. Isn't that weird that you could be with someone and not know where they stand politically?

I guess a lot of people would just be like, maybe they're just very quite, it's not a huge part of their life, politics. But it affects everybody. I know. Would there be a deal breaker if someone was completely opposite to you on the political spectrum?

It'd be pretty hard. It'll be a little bit hard. How about this? I've got friends that are and it's fine. How hot are they? Yeah, I know. Like if, you know, if Jason Momoa and I found out he was like a Trump voter. You know, I'd be like, what?

I'm finding that hard to reconcile. I feel like he would not be. I don't get that energy. Oh, he does. He outwardly doesn't have that energy. No. I'd make an exception. Ashley messaged in saying, my partner and I vote differently.

He works in the private sector and I work in public health care. Now, wouldn't you, if your partner worked in public health care, hear all the stories about what happens if public health care doesn't get enough money? So you would be like, well, that's terrible that you're dealing with that. Yeah. Meanwhile, in the private sector, you see people with tons of money and you're like, how much more do they need? Yeah.

I don't know. That's just my thoughts. That might be hard to reconcile. Yeah. I don't know. That's just my thoughts. That might be hard to reconcile. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe you just don't. This is one of the no-go. Her profile picture is they're married, so they're on the beach. They're married.

Hayley says, yes, but it was only after we voted that we said who we voted for and it was the same. To each their own. If it was different, it wouldn't have mattered. Yeah, right. Okay. So that's an interesting take on it. Courtney says, no, despite my best efforts,

we are not voting for the same people. Wow. Really? I made my husband vote today. I don't care who he votes for, but because he does zero research and doesn't care, he asked how I vote and then just copied what I did, apparently. That's how it used to work back in the day. That's a role

reversal, isn't it? Yeah, it is. A man blindly voting for who his wife voted for is the role reversal of how it used to work. If you and your partner are voting for the main parties, a different main party each, are you just cancelling each other out so just don't bother voting?

No, you still have to... Someone said, well, that's not the case. Is it an MMP thing? It's also an episode of Cougar Enthusiasm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is very funny.

He's waiting in line, a long line, and he's like, well, if we're voting for different parties, why don't we just both leave? Yeah, yeah, and then it just doesn't matter.

Renee said, because we discuss it and always agree. So we must be voting for the same people. I feel that voting is a private matter and it shouldn't influence

somebody's vote based on what I think, said Shayla. Private. Imagine if everybody had this opinion. Imagine the world. If everybody was like,

it was up to you. What I feel and believe is part of the private matter. And I won't force it on you. Yeah, interesting. I can imagine that. Still though. We vote completely differently, but it's not a deal breaker.

It just leads to very robust and heated conversation slash debates. Oh, see, I couldn't. I just couldn't. I'm a journalist, so I have to understand all sides of the political spectrum, but my partner doesn't have a political bone in his body. So if I try to inform him it comes off like I'm nagging or preaching

and it honestly is easier to just avoid the subject altogether. Yeah, right. So you just don't say. Yeah. Deanna says I bloody hope so but she hasn't asked so she...

She's a dono. Yeah, so she might have to... Isn't it just wild? You can do because hearing from that there's a few people that are just like, oh, we don't really know, or it's a bit complicated. Do the political compass.

Just Google political, the vote compass. You can go on and then it asks you a bunch of questions about things that matter to you, and then it tells you the parties that you most upright align with. At the end of it, if you look at the party you're recommended to vote for, and you're like, oh, no, that's bullshit, I don't like them,

then, I mean, you'd already made your decision, hadn't you? Do some research, yeah. The biggest issue, and we have talked about this before, is you do not get a sticker when voting. So don't expect one this weekend because they've got rid of the stickers. Unless they left over from last election and you were electorate. But otherwise, they're not doing stickers. I did see comedian Chris Parker ripped off the barcode

off a bag of carrots and chucked that on and then wrote I voted on it. So you can make your own. You can make your own. Or go donate blood. Because you get a sticker for doing that. You get a sticker for that. And a cup of tansy bickies.

19 minutes away from eight. Up next, NASA's going to be looking pretty swish soon. So in 2025, the Artemis 3 moon mission is set to be the first moon landing mission since 1971. So have we not been on the moon since the 70s? Nah, man. Why not? Because I think we were like, done that. Or some people say it was because... We lost the lease on the studio when we filmed it.

Yeah, man. Yeah, man. No, humanity hasn't been back. We've seen like, the Japanese did that- At Little Rovers. Yeah, did they do one that went around the moon? Yep. Into photos.

We've sent the odd thing up there. India is pretty close to getting some moon stuff happening. Russia crashed into it recently. China also had a bombastic moon mission. Yeah.

Well, they did call their moon rocket Shaggy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And as it swung and went Mr. Bombastic. And then Mr. Mr. Lover Lover. Mr. Lover.

So. Mr. Lunar Lover. Mr. Lunar Lover. Mr. Lover. Mr. Luna Lover. Mr. Luna Lover. They call me Mr. Moonbastic. So I, excuse my naivety, I just, I don't think I quite realised that, that we hadn't been back since 1971. So in 2025, the Artemis 3 moon mission

is aiming to land the first woman and first person of colour on the surface of the moon and they're going to look pretty hot doing it because Prada is set to design Wait, are they not sending a gay? Oh, you better hope. Hopefully the woman or the person

of colour is gay. What if the woman is the person of colour is also gay? Oh, my God. Holy shit. That is iconic. Somebody check your conservatives because they will be losing their mind. Is a black gay woman on the moon? They're going to be beside themselves.

So Prada is going to be designing the suits that they'll be wearing. They're collaborating with Axiom Space to design and develop NASA's next generation lunar space suits Because do you remember the SpaceX suits? They look pretty futuristic So do you think that's why NASA are like we better up our game here Because Elon Musk and SpaceX are You can look as futuristic as you like But they've got a very specific purpose to serve. Yeah.

You know, I don't care who's designing them. Louis Vuitton. Yeah, but Prada's all about. Louise Vuitton. Louise Vuitton. As long as it's doing the job. I don't think the astronauts would care, would they? Well, Prada's very famous for its sunglasses and its handbags,

so you'd hope that suit would have a lovely clutch. Well, this first female black lesbian astronaut will have to have a handbag. She'll have to have a handbag? Mm. That's part of, that's why they haven't had women on the moon. No, she's a lesbian. Oh, she's got a backpack. She's taken the ute.

She's got a satchel. She's just going to leave it all in the ute. It's got a satchel. No, like a festival satchel with a couple of baggies in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Prada can design her festival satchel. She's just going to leave it all in the air. No, like a festival satchel with a couple of baggies in the bag across the front of it. Well, Prada can design her festival satchel. Or we'll get a text in from a black gay woman who would love to go to the moon, as long as she gets to keep the Prada clothes at the

end. Absolutely you can. I mean, that's right. You're right. You're an astronaut. Absolutely. So obviously, like it's not, because they're going, Prada is very advanced in their science and they look at different materials they use. They are. It's not just about jackets and hanbok styling.

So they're collaborating. They're going to make the suit look bloody good. I bet shoulder pads will be in there, because they're big on a blazer, Prada. Are they? Yeah, big on a blazer and a hat. Okay. Have they got any history of doing anything other than?

No, but it's not the first time So other luxury brands have done this before Really Yeah I was just reading before I can't find who it was but you know Other big fashion houses Balenciaga, Coach and here in Preston Have recently collaborated with NASA

On different collections For space travel And now Prada is going beyond design. So they're designing but also using Prada's technical expertise with raw materials, manufacturing techniques and innovative design concepts to bring advanced technology. Because what was the original story when, like, they needed a female astronaut suit?

They just made some really weird adjustment to a male's one. Right. I can't remember what it was. Did they take the sleeve out from the crotch? I think they just literally let it seam out around the bust or just made it slightly. They were just like, there, perfect. Chubby boobs in there and get up and do the moon.

I can't wait for the Instagram dupes. The knock-off. Oh my god, the Prada. I know. From the Hong Kong ladies market. The knock-offs. Oh, my God, the Prada. I know, from the Hong Kong ladies' market. We can go out. We can go out on a Friday night in an astronaut's. Do you have the Prada Artemis 3 moon mission suit? Oh, yeah. It's not Prada.

It's smarter. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. We have just brought Afternoon's Bloody Georgia in here. Oh, what? Hello. Oh, you're still the first teacher. You've really worn that.

You've really worn that. You've adjusted the microphone while it's on. It's stiff, man. I know. I beg your pardon. You can't say that. Now, there is a bottomless brunch venue in San Francisco, I believe. Yes.

And they have released a notice to the public and to their punters that says, Dear all mimosa lovers, I identify as such. I would agree with all of us in this room. I also identify as a mimosa lover. I always say hold the orange juice though. Dear all mimosa lovers. That's just a Prosecco hon. Well, if we're drinking in the mornings,

I'll just have a breakfast beer. Yeah, there you go. Like a Kilkenny or a Guinness, sort of a substantial meal. Please drink responsibly and know your limits. A $50 cleaning fee will now automatically include in your tap

when you throw up in the public areas. I couldn't agree more. If you can't control yourself in a public area and you vomit publicly, you should 100% have to pay. Oh, I'd like to pay a cleaning fee.

Speaking of, you've never vomited somewhere. Not for a very, very, very, very, very long time. Oh, but you have. I would have paid the cleaning fee to Hood a cleaning fee. Speaking of, you've never vomited somewhere. Not for a very, very, very, very, very long time. Oh, but you have. I would have paid the cleaning fee to Hood Street in Hamilton in the winter, in the Christmas season of 2003 when I vomited purple guanas all over a bunch of cars.

Yes, sir, I would have because it may have taught me a lesson. Yes, I spewed on cars, sir. You probably would have. I was aiming for the gutter, but I tripped and I project I vomited on the car. So I said to everybody in the producer's booth, has anybody vomited after a bottomless brunch? And the only person to raise their hand was Georgia Burt. Don't start the Christchurch thing with me, but I will say we all do it.

Who hasn't? I haven't. And I've drunk tons at a bottomless brunch. I witnessed somebody mid, early afternoon vom on a table. I've never done it on the table. Pretty much every bottomless brunch. Why should bar staff have to clean up vomit? That's not in the job description.

No, but you're going, most logical people. She said pretty much every bottomless brunch. Every time. Most logical people just go to the bathroom, though. And it wouldn't have a tactical spew. A tactic? No, I can tactical spree No it's not tactical It's just like oh you've eaten too much It's an urgency Oh sorry bartenders I've actually just

eaten too much of this tiny breakfast you've given me Tiny breakfast But how do you like if I vom or most people vom it's the end of the night for them right You're too gone to How are you getting a, if I vom or most people vom, it's the end of the night for them, right? You're too gone to, how are you getting a $50 fee out of them?

Oh, just the table will have to cover it. Your mates will have to get it. Right, okay. No, I've never thrown up at a bottomless branch. I've absolutely ruined the day starting one. You can carry on, though, because if you get out, it's just sits in the chair. And you've just got to get it out and then you can carry on.

Where are you from again? Christ, yeah. You just put mints in your bags, guys or a toothbrush. What do you put a mints in your bag for? You keep mints in the fridge, you bitch. You wanted to make some rissole Yeah, I was like

where are you going to find a home plate? Yeah, what are you going to make patties to get yourself through this over-drinking you've done in the morning? Oh, it's for when I go to the BYO, lady, you know, BYO mints. This bit, bringing mints to a BYO, cook it. Well, look, it's a feed that's been introduced overseas at Bottomless Brunches, but, I mean, it could catch on.

It's only a matter of time. I'll go on record. I think Bottomless Brunches are a terrible idea. I think it's a terrible idea. It used to be so much fun. It used to be so much fun. People can't control themselves. The old boy used to not control himself.

People cannot be trusted. 100%. So I speak from experience. People cannot be trusted in bottomless brunches that are a terrible idea. A terrible idea. Sit in the day without food and drinking like that. Well, we will say drink responsibly, please. Of course.

Exactly. For every woman vomiting, there's a guy who's going to be like, Jesus, I'll come and pick you up. Because you've ruined my day. Drag it. We welcome Courtney to Better Can Guess Your Mum's Name. Good morning, Courtney. Good morning, guys. How are you? Really good. Really

top-notch, thank you. Nice, nice. I'm glad that the elves are back for Christmas, FYI. They're not elves, they're orphans. I'm not, although to be honest, maybe there's room for some Christmas elves. No, don't encourage, don't encourage. Courtney, do not encourage the Christmas elves. No, don't encourage that.

Courtney, do not encourage the orphans. No, no, not orphans. The orphans I told you, they're out getting a job. They're out getting a job today. But they always talk like this. The way they always talk like this, my elf was going to be, like this, hello? Mr. Fletcher.

No. All right, Courtney, Vaughn's going to ask you five questions about your mum and then have 15 seconds to try and guess her name. Fabulous. Courtney, can you hum with me, please? You start humming, I'm going to tune, and that's going to be our psychic bonding. Okay. Go, hold one note humming.

Yep, go. And we're good. We're good. We're connected. What are mum's siblings' names? Oh, Dean and... Pardon me, pardon me, pardon me. Dean. We're good. We're connected. What are mum's siblings' names? Oh, Dean and... Pardon me, pardon me, pardon me. Dean.

Dean and Murray. Dean and Murray. Oh, my God. Oh, Sharon. Her name's Sharon. I'm telling you straight out of the gate. There's got to be a Sharon. A Sharon.

Dean has a Shazza. Classic. We've got Linda. Oh, yes. We've got Sharon. We've got Karen. You've got to have a Jeanette in there. We've got Jeanette. Jeanette. Jeanette. We've Karen. We got We got Jeanette.

We got Christine. Tina. Tina. Same vintage. Tina, great vintage there. We've got Sandra. Sandra, yep. We've got a Joe.

Oh, you're Joe Murray and who was it? Joe Murray and Dean. We've got a Deb. We've got a Joe. Yep. Oh, you're Joe Murray and who was it? Joe Murray and Dean. Yep. We've got a Deb. We've got a Deb. We've got a Deb and Dean and we've got an Ange. She's Angela. Tanya?

You've got a Tanya? Lynn. Do I have a Lynn? I've got Linda. I'm going to go Lynette as well. I want to hedge my Linda bets. Tina. I've already said Tina.

We've got a Maria. Next question. Lots for question one. Oh, yeah, that got a lot of good names, didn't it? How many bedrooms is mum's house? Oh. Why does that matter? Shut up.

I'm connected. I'm sorry. Shush, shush, shush. No, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. I'm trying to concentrate. I'm trying to count. Can you hum again?

Because Fletch broke up connection with negativity. I'm so sorry. Okay, go, go. You go. Yep. Yep, we're back. Okay, I've connected again. How many bedrooms is the house?

Well, where you can sleep for. Oh, that's nice. Oh, that's lovely. Big spacious house. All the kids have all moved out, haven't they? I think so. What's she feeling?

Wait, no, we don't know that all the kids have moved out. Oh, yeah, true. Tough times. Kids are living at home for longer than ever. True. Are they empty rooms, Courtney?

Yeah, all of them are empty. Okay. You said that you can sleep in. Is there one room that's for crafts? Oh, it's like the study, but it's got a pull-out bed. Oh, yeah. Okay, so in time, you know,

if someone brings a... It's a four-and-a-half bedroom house. Courtney, this isn't one of the questions, but if you bought a partner home, were they allowed to sleep in the same bed as you? Or even as an adult, they had to sleep in a different room because that always cracked me up. Oh, no, no, no, no.

My partner could have slept in my bed. Okay. Wow. So heathens. I had the whole downstairs for myself. Oh, wow. Did you? I bet some absolute shenanigans went on down there.

Oh, I can tell. Courtney's had shenanigans. Next question. No, I'm right. Oh, I. Did you? I bet some absolute shenanigans went on down there. Oh, I can tell. Courtney's had shenanigans. Next question. No, I'm right. Oh, I'm sorry. Got a Barbara, got a Tracy, got a Pam, got a Diane. Oh, Diane was boring into my head too. It was bouncing around there, right?

Because Diane had a four-bedroom house in Eastport. Did she? Three. My next question. What age is mom? Oh. 62? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, okay. Similar to my mom. She's 62. So I might put a Patsy. Chuck a Patsy on there. I might put a Patsy. You can't go wrong with a Patsy. Patsy doesn't have four bedrooms, though, so that, you know.

How many bedrooms is Patsy currently rocking? Three bedroom, two bathroom? Oh, she's got two houses, so it's sort of, yeah. That's hard. That's hard. It depends if we're talking about Italy, darling. Yeah. Okay.

Oh, the two houses includes the Italian villa. Okay, good, good. Good to know. That's good to know. Okay. Oh, the two houses includes the Italian villa. Okay, good, good. Good to know. That's good to know. Okay, next question. What chore does she hate? You know how mums have always got a chore they hate? My mum hates cleaning the windows.

Hates it. Oh, same. Hates it. Oh, I don't actually know. I think mum quite likes doing the chores. She's a chore. She's a chore girl. Yeah.

She's got her routine gets up, does the vacuuming, does the bathrooms, does all that jazz. I was going to say Jane, but you wouldn't have Jane and Dan. When she cleans the bathroom, does she use like a Clorox wipe or does she have a spray and wipe and a reusable? Oh, no, no, no. She's got a bucket she takes around with all her cleaning products. Bucket.

Yeah, she's got a bucket. Okay. So she's an organised mum. She's a chore and a cleaner. She's a a bucket she takes around with all her cleaning products. Bucket. Yeah, she's got a bucket. Okay. So she's an organised mum. She's a chore and a cleaner. She's a chore girl. Thanks. Give me a bit of Brenda energy, to be honest. Holy.

A bit of Brenda energy. I'm going to take a left turn there, but put it on the sheet. Have I had a Vicky? That's giving me a bit of a Vicky vibe. Okay. Anne. Do you have an Anne? Checked in.

Got an Anne. Schmuck on Anne. Don't want to be caught short on that. And fifth question. Have you had a serious discussion with your mother about death? Oh. Yes. Are you the executor?

Are you the executor? I think they're well as, like, before I was born. So I don't think I need to update that. Oh, shoot. Yeah, I know. Because Vaughan and I are executors, aren't we? Because we're the favourite children. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am too now I'm going to be Oh, shoot. Yeah, I know. Because Vaughan and I are executives, aren't we? Because we're the favourite children. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am too now. Are you too? Yeah.

Me and mum have discussed, I think, I'll be in charge of the finance stuff and they'll still be in charge of the medical stuff. My mum wants to be biffed raw dog into the hole. My mum won't tell me what she wants at a funeral because she said I won't be here, but as long as I'm still the one that has to smother her with a pillow.

Oh, you've got to end it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We had that chat again the other day. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Is there something you want to tell me? And she's like, no, I just want to know that you'll do it.

Wait, she wants to know it's coming. I don't think I'd want to know it's coming. No, no, no, no, no, no. She doesn't want to know it's coming, but she wants to know that I'm not going to chicken out. Oh, okay, right. You won't. You'll be all right. There's no way. No, no, no, no, no. She doesn't want to know what's coming but she wants to know that I'm not going to chicken out. Oh, okay, right. You won't. You'll be all right.

There's no way. There's no way. There's no way. There's no way I can smother my mother with a pillow. Wink. Just for legal purposes.

Wink, wink, no charge. Okay, so we've had a death chat. What names is that giving you? Glenda. I might put a Christine because it's the chair. I might put my mother-in-law's

name too because I've discussed smothering her with a pillow against her will. Denise. Okay, now I think I've got so many bloody names. Okay, I've really had a hot connection. Well, Courtney, let's test how hot Vaughn's connection is because he now has 15 seconds to try and guess your mum's name. If you hear your mum's name, yell out,

Stop, that's my mum's name. Your time, Vaughan, starts now. Linda, Sharon, can't read that one. Jeanette, Tina, Sandra, Jo, Deb, Ange, Lynette, Maria, Barbara, Tracy, Diane, Pam, Nicola, Pat. That's my mum's name. Which one? Which one? Diane. Diane.

Got four bedrooms. Diane's got four bedrooms. You know a Diane with four bedrooms. Yeah. Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, Vaughn has done it again. You're so...

It's the psychic hum. It's the psychic hum. It's the hum. It's the psychic hum, yeah. It's the connective. I'd like to know the stats, and we should go back and count all of the times we've done this this year, because you must be over 90%.

You've got a real ability this year. We haven't done it as much. Maybe that's the key. Quality over quantity. Were we juicing you last year a little bit? Yeah, so maybe you had rung me out. Well, you've triggered the bonus round. The bonus round.

While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. You've already won $100, Courtney, but if one can guess your dad's name, just one guess. You know, I'm not getting our usual Beatles vibe off this one. It can't be Jack, though. Jack and Diane. It can't be Jack and Diane. I don't feel like it's a John and Diane. Oh, John and Diane.

That's good. John and Diane. I'm with you, though. Paul, it's not Paul. Or do you go a bit left field and go Terry and Diane? Terry and Diane. It could be a Terry and a Diane. It could be a Terry and a Diane. I'm with you, though. Paul, it's not Paul. Or do you go a bit left field and go Terry and Diane? Terry and Diane. It could be a Terry and a Diane. It could be a Terry and a Diane.

It could be a Terry and a Diane. It could be Steve and Diane. Brian? Brian? I've got a hot vibe on the last part of the alphabet. Oh, really? Really? Diane's taken the front half. What about

William? Billy? Billy. Willie and Diane. William and Wayne. Wayne and Diane. Wayne and Diane. Oh, bloody Courtney. Wayne and Diane's daughter. Say no more. You reckon it's Wayne?

Yeah. Okay, we're going to lock in Wayne, Courtney. What is your dad's name? My dad's name is Wayne. No, it's not. I'm going to smash a glass. It's not. It's not. What is your dad's name for real?

No, his name is Wayne. Get out! We get confirmation from the producers. Is that the name? Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne. How did you do that? William and Wayne. When William, foul William.

Foul that. Foul the last one over there. I don't know. Have we had a Wayne before? Every time this happens, people say it's rigged. It's not. That is insane to witness. Oh, my God.

Are you surreal? Yeah, yeah. His nickname is Wayno or his female name, like I like to call. Oh, my God. Are you surreal? Yeah, yeah. His nickname is Wayno, or his female name, like I like to call him, is Wanda. Wanda. Wanda. It's so right. It works so well. Producers, you did lock that name in.

I did. It's Wayne. He's done it. He's done it. Wow. Amazing. It's a psychic. It was a hum.

We put a lot on. I think Courtney was giving me the right amount of energy there. I was getting a good vibration on Courtney. It was a hum. It was a hum We put a lot on I think Courtney Was giving me The right amount Of energy there I was getting A good vibration On Courtney It was a hum

We sucked Well You've won An extra hundred dollars Because Vaughan did it Guess the dad's name Congratulations Well done

Amazing Thanks Pete And our love to Wayne and Diane Our love to Wayne and Diane Absolutely Awesome Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley And I love to Wayne and Diane. Oh, you love to Wayne and Diane. Absolutely. Awesome. Play.

ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Oh, my God. I think I just shut vote compersentials on the last page. I'll never know who to vote for now. I just actually shut it to Google. How old? When Catherine the Great.

Catherine the Second in Russia. You might be thinking, but Vaughan, I thought it was Rollercoaster Week. It is Rollercoaster Week. It is Rollercoaster Week. It is. We can't bail out on it. Because somebody messaged me saying, have you heard of the Russian Mountain? The Russian Mountain. Is that like Splash Mountain?

Nay, I haven't. Well, imagine Splash Mountain. Yeah. But then a Russian cold snap hits and the hydroslide has an ice coating to it. And you have a Russian Mountain, which, and the Hydra Slide has an ice coating to it. And you have? You have a Russian mountain, which was predated roller coasters, but technically weren't roller coasters,

but technically weren't toboggan tracks, but close, but also technically not a water slide. Yeah, okay. Russian mountains, the first one was opened in the 15th century. So, what was that? The 1600s. By the way, this annoys me too.

It annoys me as well. I feel like we shouldn't be saying 21st century when the first two numbers of our century that we're currently in are 20-0. Because no one says I'm in my 37th year when they're 36. I know. No one says that. It's annoying. But it is technically correct.

I hate it. I'll go on record. 18th century is the 1700s. I hate it most of it because it confuses me and I have to stop down every time I'm saying it to think what century we're in. Same, same. So we're in the 21st century. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm just massaging my bicep. I've got

a little knot in it. I'm just digging in. Aggressively might I say. Yeah. Aggressively rubbing yourself. I just wanted to look like you might have pulled something. I'm scratching, he's rubbing. We're all over the show. So the 15th century, 1600s, Russians started building giant wooden slides

that had sides on them. Yeah. And then when the winter would start to come, they'd obviously pour a bit of water down there. The Russian winters are so cold it would freeze and stay frozen all winter, where then they would get a block of ice, a thin sheet of ice, so they would put ice on ice and then sit on top of that ice on some sort of seat,

and they would ride down these things called Russian mountains. Jeez, you'd go fast. 50 miles an hour. Whoa, okay, yeah. So what's that? Is it 80? 80. Far out.

Just over 80. How big were the signs on these chutes? Yeah, slippery as well because if you turned your body weight, you go whoop. It was the old days, so they were high, but not like hydro slide high. Not open hydro slide high. So it was very popular amongst the upper class. Catherine II of Russia, when it

got to her, now I just checked, she lived from 1729 to 1796. Is she the great? She was the second great. Oh, yeah, she is Catherine the Great. Okay. Oh, yes, there was a Catherine before, but this was the first. Did she have a pension for?

Oh, is this the one that the TV show is about? Yeah, Catherine the Great. That was good. It is good. I finished a series and then forgot to start the next one. Oh, watch it. Nicholas Holt plays her husband. Oh, no, I didn't like that.

Al Fanning, you didn't like it. I hated it. Why? I don't know why I just hated it. Really? Yeah, I tried. Like, I gave it a good few episodes. I think you might be wrong, Han.

Yeah, I know. Go again. No, go again. Once you get used to Nicholas Holt just being a horrible person. There were definitely some funny lines in it. Yeah. Go again. Maybe I'll give it a bit more of a...

So she loved the Russian mountains so much that when it got to summertime, she wouldn't have it. So she had one built for her. Now, this sounds dangerous, if you've ever been on... You know, if you see in a factory a long thing of rollers and you just push a box down and it's just... Oh my God,

like airport security. Yes. I always go... Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever been... I've been to a couple of parks for kids

where they've got one of those in place of a slide. Now maybe kids are lighter so they skim over the top but my fat bottom got pinched. Oh, okay. Yeah. So this could be dangerous.

So she put in rollers a giant Russian mountain with rollers. Okay. And rolled in it because she said she loved it so much. So people would come to her house because she was the only one that could afford to do this. And she would go down. Look, I don't want to be negative, but it does sound like you've, on Rollercoaster Week, you've brought in slides and luges.

I was thinking like general theme park yeah the roller that she had and hers is where we get rollercoaster from

oh okay apologies no I jumped a wall with him born and I'm sorry I'm sorry because they would coast down

yes okay on the rollers a roller coaster they would coast down a roller and that's why when it spread around and there were these Yes, okay, on the rollers. A roller coaster. A roller coaster. Yes. A roller, and that's why when it spread around. And there were these, the rides that predated what we call roller coasters now,

were called roller coasters, but you were literally just coasting on some rollers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It makes sense. I've never thought about the name. How dare you, sir? I know. Well, no, sometimes you go off script, and I'm just saying it did sound like we were doing slides.

Yeah, and it evolved during the revolution. And then we included some Russian czars and leaders, some monarchies, and then we got to it. You're pro-Russian now. Yeah, what's your stance? Past Russia, big fan. Russia of old. Right, the Russia of old.

A fascinating country. Yeah. A fascinating country. So today's fake of the day. You're telling me you're tuning in on a 1700s Russian Fabergé egg? Oh, absolutely not. I wouldn't. I'd have a Fabergé egg.

I'd have a Fabergé. I wouldn't know where to put it. And I'd say to people, have you checked out my Fabergé egg? And Shadad would say, stop putting the Fabergé egg. Oh, absolutely not. I wouldn't. I'd have a Faberge egg. I'd have a Faberge. I wouldn't know where to put it. And I'd say to people, have you checked out my Faberge egg? And Shaddaa would say, stop putting the Faberge egg out. It doesn't go with the Scandinavian decor. It wouldn't.

It's too glittery. It's too glamorous. It's too much. And I'd say, well, they were right next door to the Russians this whole time. Are they the ones with the other eggs in the middle of them?

No, no, Babushka. That's a Babushka. And then there's another egg and then you open... That's a Russian nest doll. Nesting doll. Oh, that's right. And then there's another doll. And's a Russian nest doll. Nesting doll. That's right. And then there's another doll.

And then the last doll's always a bit like, that's not even a doll. It's like a little nugget. It's a nugget. It's a nugget of wood. You'd always lose the little nugget. Yes. Because you'd line them up

and then the nugget would fall off and roll off the table. It would roll and coast. Off the table, bringing us back around. So today's fact of the day is that Russian mountains, or what they were called, predated roller coasters, but only worked in the winter.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Now, I would like to share a story about a couple because people have gone on their high horse about it, being like, this is so rude. So there is a couple that lives next to what they would call a very chatty neighbour, right? Anytime they see the neighbour, it's like, oh, hi, and it's an old mate, old mate Richard.

Yeah, and they haven't, yeah. And he comes out and he just talks their ears off and sometimes they can get stuck out there, apparently for up to two hours talking to old mate Richard. So it's, you know, they've lived there for quite a time now and they're like, I'm happy to indulge for a little bit, but when I need to leave this conversation but when I need to leave this conversation, I want to leave this conversation,

we send each other a text that says SOS Richard, Richard being the chatty old neighbour. Yeah. And then it's the other person's job to come out and be like, oh, babe, sorry. Hi, Richard. I actually need you because so and so. Or Kev's on the phone.

Kev's on the phone. You know Kev's on the phone. Kev's on the phone. You know Kev's on the phone. Kev's on the phone. Or the one that was used in this video they shared was Vivian's clogged the toilet. And then you see the husband go... Is this one of their kids?

One of their kids. Oh, right, okay. And you see the dad go, oh, bugger. Oh, well, give Richard a handshake and off he goes. And they're laughing, right? SOS Richard.

God, I would build a fence. I'd build a large fence or put a hedge in. No, look, Richard looks like a sweet old codger, I'll say it. Yeah. But then everyone online's like, oh, he's old, you know, da-da-da-da-da. But every

now and then you just need to leave a conversation. We had this. We've got things to do. Yeah, you've got things to do. You're only stuck for two hours. Also, every couple does this. I know, and it's not all, yeah. To, like, rescue you out of things. Oh my God, yeah, like, terrible dates. People do that all the time. Going, like, keep you out of things oh my god yeah like terrible dates

people do that all the time going like just walking up to your wife at a party and loudly saying I'm ready to go now yeah yours is so unsubtle

yeah but yours would be I am ready to leave and I'm sure we'll see this at this massive New Year's bash that he's hosting

yours is the sign that you want people to leave is you leave. You go to bed. And that's the sign to a leave. And then people who were raised by, I'm guessing heathens, don't take the social cue of the host himself.

The spa was so warm though. You go to bed when you want. People can carry on. Put in some earplugs. Yeah, exactly. I want to know when you want. People can carry on. Put in some earplugs. Yeah, exactly. I want to know, what is your, like, what is the signal or the code that you and your partner use to help you get out of things? Right.

To leave parties early. To leave parties or to just, like, tell them something. There needs to be a more discreet way than pulling out your phone. Yeah. And, like, the message is hard. You open a message you're like, hold on Richard, I'm just sending a message. Then a couple of minutes later she's like,

oh yeah, yeah, exactly. With your friends or your partners, if you've been friends or with your partner long enough, you can just look at them and know instantly they need help or they don't want to be there. Always. Or like mine of their ends is like, if I don't introduce you, I've forgotten their name. I will always introduce you. And if I don't introduce you, I've forgotten their name. I will always introduce

you. Yeah. And if I don't, it's because I don't know their name. So just hurry up and introduce yourself and then I'll be like, oh my God, of course you know Carl. And then I'm like, sweet. I'm covered. Everything's smooth and fine. Yeah. Well, give us a call. 0800 DARS at M. Text through 9696.

What is the signal or unspoken code or little sign you give your partner to get out of things? We want the signal or unspoken code or little sign you give your partner to get out of things? We want to know the unspoken code or signal that you and your partner use when you want to get out of something, leave somewhere, get out of a conversation. Remove yourself from an awkward

interaction. So a couple's under fire for doing this with their elderly neighbour but every couple does it. They just text each other saying SOS. Yeah. I don't want to get stuck talking for two hours. Shelly, what do you and your partner do? We have a code word Fijoa. Fijoa?

It's not a word that can be subtly dropped into conversation though. That's the thing, we don't normally use it in conversation, but you know, your drink could smell like Fijoa. We do, so it's one of those things that we've tried, we've figured out we could drop it into a conversation, but we don't normally something in a week.

So you'd be like, my drink smells like Feijoa, and he's like, interesting, let's go. You could be like, I really love that. I don't know what vodka this is, but I really do love that Feijoa vodka. Yeah, oh my God, what season is it? It must be nearly Fijoa season. That's it. Is that a Fijoa trio? Any of your friends listening

now, though, are like, okay, next time she says Fijoa, I'm going to be here. You're blowing your own head now, Shelley. You're going to need a new word. Shelley, thanks. You're called Jeff. What do you and your partner do to get out of conversations or parties? Well, we actually use the name of a guy who was down on his luck

back in the day when we were in youth group. Okay. What's the name? His name. Sorry about this, my friend. No, don't say his name. Don't say his name. I want it now. I feel bad when you use

a man's name and then what your wife knows that it's time to leave. No, no, no. So like the code was if she was kidnapped and I would phone home or there was an axe murderer running around the garden. Yeah. You couldn't phone up and she'd say, oh, there's an axe murderer. Or I've been kidnapped. So she would just say quietly, Johnny Mill.

Johnny Mill. And then you'd all know that you could call the cops or whatever, but the ex-murderer wouldn't know. Oh, wait, so this is a code word for like, I'm in trouble. This is everything. Wow. Okay. Poor old Johnny Mills.

Poor old Barcy. He's trying to find happiness by going to youth group. Yeah, I know. Seeking solace in the Lord himself. And these kids are all just like, Jesus, Johnny, buddy, why are you putting that brown upside down, mate? You're bringing down youth group. Jeff, thanks for your call.

Some messages in. I like that. Imagine making the walking legs. So, you know, the yellow pages walking with your fingers. You do that on your partner's leg under the table. Oh. Time for us to do this. What if you go a bit high on the thigh and they get excited?

Oh, yeah. Then it's very much time to go. Didn't your dad unsuddenly kick your mum? Oh, my God, yes. My dad was like saying something that he shouldn't have been saying and so my mum did a little like kick under the table

and my dad just goes, don't kick me. Okay, can you text coming in 9696 0800 dials at M. What do you and your partner do to get out of a party or escape a conversation? Is there a code word?

Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. We want to know the signal or the sign or the code word you and your partner share. Whether to get out of a situation or to shut up or leave or anything really. And some of these are very creative. Very creative. It's more of a dance, says a texter. I give a look what she does everything not to look at

because he wants to stay. So it ends up being quite a full-blown one. My workmates text each other hot potato. And then the person calls them and says, hey, you need to be back at the office straight away. I don't know what you're up to. So they have to... Oh, that's good.

That's a good situation. That sounds like getting out of a chat with the old mate, like the original. Yeah. Story on this. Similar to if friends want to get out of a date too. Yeah. I've just backed over your cat, Hayley. You're going to have to come home. Oh no. My partner and I give each other a look and then a nod and then we stand up and shake hands and we were on our way. So they shake each other's hands. No, look, nod, stand up, shake hands and then leave. See guys, we're off. Like they're initiating the sequence.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good stuff. Kids would be a good excuse, wouldn't they? Actually, I was just realising. Oh, babysitter. Yeah, yeah. How many parties did Vaughn get out of? Oh, the kids are sick.

It's like, no, they're not. Yeah, but as many times he does that, he also just brings them and they put up with it. So I appreciate it. Yes, but as many times he does that, he also just brings them and they put up with it, so I appreciate it. Yes, they certainly do. They're giving you all the looks and you're both going, we want his name. It is time to go. You told us.

That'll change soon. You told us. Yeah, well they can have a bloody beer with us. We use sign language. Somebody messaged us. Oh wow, she's been looking up some NZSL on a few different ways to say like exit, leave. That's enough is one of them that's a good one, that's enough like a chopping motion

that's enough get off oh okay, yeah that's actually a good one to learn too actually, get off me get off, I've had enough probably not one I'll ever have to deal with and then probably learn to read it more than yeah

somebody says that kids text me code orange Probably not one I'll ever have to deal with And then probably learn to read it more than Yeah Somebody Says that kids text me code orange If they want to come home From somewhere and aren't comfortable telling whoever They're with Kids For bailing out on it That's quite good too

Somebody said it's just simply a look And when you get that look from your partner You're like oh that's one I like this, it's not for a party But we say banana in front of the kids When we think the other one's being a bit harsh With their parenting Instead of saying don't talk to your kids like that

Or back off and just be like banana Because then you go banana And then you feel all silly And you're not being too hard on the kids anymore I don't know how you work it in You'd be like what am I when dad always says banana To each other banana and then you feel all silly and you're not being too hard on the kids anymore yeah yeah I don't know how you work it in you'd be like what am I doing

dad always say banana to each other we talked about bananas a lot as kids bananas were around the house a lot how did that make you feel now that you're an adult

and you're in intense therapy yeah there'll be some trauma over that there was this person that just text saying I text my daughter if she wants groceries

and she says yes noodles if she wants some. Now that's not a code word. That's just that your daughter wants some freaking noodles. She just wants noodles. Yeah. It's a very simple code. She's exactly telling you what she wants.

Yeah. Noodles is my code word. What does it mean? It means get me some noodles. Yeah. My 10 year old daughter, now we've completely changed, tacked on this,

but somebody said my 10 year old daughter used to say, is the ham toasty ready? If when we worked in a cafe, a hottie came in, so I'd come in and check it out. Whoa. Your code words for hotties. We ding a bell.

But we also ding the bell. Don't ding the bell if there are no hotties outside. Did you see us? We turned and looked, and it was a waste of time. What was that dog? Pavlov's dog. Pavlov's dog.

Pavlonian response? Yeah. Oh, yeah. See? Yeah, you're the dog. Youlov's dog. Pavlonian response? Yeah. Oh, yeah. See? Yeah, you're the dog. You're salivating even at the sound of it. And then, of course,

the... First time, yeah. First time, there's a multiple ding. Well, call me Pavlovia. Shivers, guys. 10 out of 10 podcast, that one.

Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Well, who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there.

Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.