ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 11th October 2024

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

Vaughan's sore jaw Gen Z aren't doing mascara Top 6 Seagull puter offerers Positive thinking makes hot sauce less hot SLP - Do you know your bodycount? Vaughan Peter Pan play Final Rankings canned foods According to science gay face is real Craziest thing you saw on a plane Friday Flashback Sharde anniversary plates 297 People work every hour of the day Fact of the Day Impossible phoner: Have you had your identity stolen?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshthorn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play ZM's Fleshthorn and Hayley. Thank you Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fleshthorn and Hayley Friday's finally here.

Yeah. God, it's been a long week. Oh, poor us. Started in Queenstown, went to Wanaka and then back home. Hayley's still sick today. I think I, to be honest, when we were coming back, I knew it was going to be

one of those bad ones. Oh yeah, she was sick. COVID? Not COVID though. It wasn't COVID, yeah, she's been testing, but Sbogon flu is what she's calling it. Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Strong case of the bogey flu. Top six.

Now, apparently there is a place in Christchurch with a seagull problem, and to keep the seagulls away from their house, they're playing a sound, which is starting to piss off the neighbours. Yeah, and it's one of those, like, posh houses on the hill, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Like a big mansion. Yeah. By the way, did we mention we saw a seagull at Kadrona when we were

broadcasting from there earlier in the week? No. A seagull. You're a long way from home, champ. Yeah, you're in land, quite in land there. And up a hill. There's no, there's not even a rubbish dump up here. And covered in snow. Yeah. This isn't your jurisdiction. I didn't see that. It's like seeing a school teacher at the mall.

Blew my mind. It's weird when you see a teacher out of school. Yeah, always. Or just anywhere where you just see a person at the one place only, and then you see them out in the... I don't recognise them when they're out of their natural environment. When you see someone you always see at the gym, and they're not in gym gear,

and you see them at the mall or something, you're just like... Yeah, yeah. Or someone that works at the gym, and you see them somewhere else and you're like where do I know them from? Yeah, it's weird.

Yeah. Yeah, like seeing a seagull or your like favourite takeaway place and then you see the takeaway place person out during daytime hours or whatever

and you're like Yeah, it's weird. It's weird stuff. It's weird. Anyway, that seagull's not the problem but we do have some problem seagulls

and I've got the top six ways to deter seagulls. Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley.ulls. And I've got the top six ways to deter seagulls. Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley. Two mystery elements. One I've woken up with this morning. Okay. A very sore jaw.

Oh. Like, I don't know what. I haven't eaten anything too chewy. I haven't taken a tumble. I haven't. I never have chewing gum. But if I have, like, someone offers me chewing gum, the next day I'll have a sore jaw. Oh, yeah. Because I'm not used to the chewing.

To the chewing. No, there's no chewing gum. Oh, yeah. Because I'm not used to the chewing. To the chewing. No, there's no chewing gum. It's not that? I don't know. It's very... I mean, great chance for a joke. It's like when your mate's got a broken wrist. I know.

I was going to make the joke. Yeah, I know you were. And I was like, it is, you know, we're a family show. And it's six o'clock in the morning. It's six o'clock in the morning. It's too early for... And it's only one side. I've never had a fellatio-related injury, but I assume it's both sides at once.

Maybe that's your dominant side. Is it? I don't know. My heavy chewing side. The other is, and I've mentioned this to you, I believe I've mentioned to you, my weird-feeling testicle. Now, the testicle itself isn't sore,

but I've done something. I don't believe you have mentioned. Oh, no, was it last week you said to Hayley and I that... It was at the start of the week when we were in Wanaka. I said, I think I've sat on it funny on the plane down or something. Okay. And it just feels... And it comes and goes.

Right, okay. But it's not... And I've checked for lumps. I'm a regular. Are you checking for lumps in testicles? No, I'm not. Come on, my man. Should I be?

We're in the... I mean, it's a young... They call it a young man's cancer Okay alright So you should be checking You gotta check these balls You gotta check them once a month Right

Set a reminder in the calendar Or do it on the first To check once a month Yeah Have you messaged our good friend I know he's not working today He'll be asleep now But our good friend Dr. Shawnee

This is a perfect question No I don't No I don't Because he'll want to touch them These need a heavy fondling To make sure that it's all right down there This is a perfect question. No, I don't know. I don't. Because he'll want to touch them. These need a heavy fondling to make sure that it's all right down there. Nobody could know. He could know. I feel like the pain is more testicle adjacent.

Right. Like it might be up in. Oh, okay. I don't know exactly where the testicle joins the rest of the thing via the cord. The cord, by the way, is the most sensitive part. Yeah, you think maybe you've twisted the cord. You've twisted the cord. I think at some stage there might have been a rotation within script.

A bit, I guess there are only females listening, a bit like when the hose gets a twist and the water stops. A bit like that. No, that would be like if you twisted the penis as the hose. I don't know. I would say because you put a kink in the hose and the flow can't work. I just think there might be a twist. It might have twisted around or something

and I don't know if it's meant to do that or not. I reckon I'm going to give it till Monday and then probably have to call a doctor. But any time I've been to the doctor for anything penis related, I'll literally go and they'll say it's nothing to worry about and the next day it's gone.

Okay. Because your doctor is going to start thinking that you just want to show him your penis. Well I haven't been to the doctor for a penis related incident

for a long time. Right. For a long, I'm talking 20 years. But there was a couple of teenage incidents where I was worried about it and I went to the doctor

and the doctor was like absolutely nothing to worry about, perfectly normal. Next day, it was gone. Man, you've got to feel for doctors. They like, people come in. Feel for doctors? Feel for the guy who just showed

a grown man his dick for no reason. Because he worried about him for like a week and he's like, all right, it's doctor time. Hey, mom. Because you're still living at home. Hey, mom. Hey, mom, I need to show the doctor my dick.

I think I need to go to the doctor. Oh my God, what for? Hmm. Sort of at home. Hey, mum. Hey, mum, I need to show the doctor my dick. I think I need to go to the doctor. Oh, my God, what for? Hmm, sort of a man issue. And she's like, oh, I'll talk to your father about it. Ah, he's not a doctor. That's why I feel for doctors. The doctor's like, nothing to worry about, my man. People are only showing the doctor when something's wrong.

Yeah, but literally both times I went, literally the next day it was sorted. Yeah, right. He didn't prescribe me anything. It wasn't. Well, maybe just wait it out. It wasn't sexual. It was just like, is that normal?

Well, maybe just wait a week. And it was gone. Well, it will be soon. It will be a week. Okay. But it does. Yeah. I mean, it's just getting old, isn't it?

Waking up with things. Dude, I wake up every morning, my back's like. Like I'm struggling to put on socks and stuff. So I've got to put a foot up on the toilet to get a sock on. Yeah, right. That's not good. But once I get started and warmed up, I'm fine. Yeah. You're just like an old Land Rover. Yeah, just keep... I'm leaking oil.

I'm leaking oil on the garage floor. Bits are sore. Yeah. Yeah. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. The producer girlies would like to discuss a new makeup trend. Yes. So one of the most cult classic makeup items is mascara.

You put it on your eyelashes, it makes them nice and dark and long and it keeps them all curled all day. Right. But us Gen Z are saying no more. We're getting rid of the mascara. Now, have you had like a conference? Yeah, we have. And decided this?

Annual meeting. Okay. And we decide who's cancelled, what decided this? Annual meeting. Okay. And we decide who's cancelled, what new slang we've got. Okay. Yeah, it's a good time. So we just had the meeting and mascara's out. Mascara's out. Okay.

And Hayley would hate this? Yeah, Carmen also hates this. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I hate this. I want to disown all the Gen Z that I know because I wear mascara every single day without fail. I think it's one of the, isn't it one of the easier makeup things to do?

It's very transformative. It makes you look like you're wearing makeup. Yeah, like even if I'm the sickest dog in the world I can look a little bit better with some mascara. You know what I mean? Even if you're the sickest dog in the world. So what, are they just saying now it's, you're not using it? You're on the verge of being put

down, you're so sick. It's like there the verge of being put down. You're so sick. It's like there's nothing more we can do. You whack some mascara on that Labrador, you're getting a few more years out of it. Yeah, it's woofin'. It's woofin'? That was in the Gen Z meeting. That was in the 200, right.

Yeah, but no, so we're not wearing it anymore. I currently am, so I'm not the best Gen Z. But basically, you kind of go for the soft, clean girl makeup. So everyone's going dewy. It's soft. We're not wearing much. It's very natural, especially for a lot of blondes. Sometimes wearing dark lashes can be quite intense.

So we're ditching the mascara. We're going natural this year, as per the annual meeting. As per the meeting. As per the meeting. Right, fantastic. How do you feel about this, Vaughn? I couldn't care less. You couldn't care less? But you look so good in mascara. As per the meeting. As per the meeting. Yeah. Right. Fantastic. How do you feel about this, Vaughan? I couldn't care less. You couldn't care less.

But you look so good in mascara. I know I do. I know I do. I've run mascara through my beard before. Yeah. You have. Yeah. When I was younger and I used to trim it myself,

occasionally you'd go a bit heavy in one spot and so you'd have to mascara it up just for a week or two until it grew back a bit. Was it like black though? Oh, then you'd have to mascara it up just for a week or two until it grew back a bit. Was it like black, though? Oh, then you'd do like around it and stuff as well. You'd do the whole. Do you know I recently got sent from Chemist Warehouse? Yeah.

Friends of the show. Yeah. They sent me like a Father's Day pack. Yeah. And in there was a beard mascara. Oh, really? A specifically designed beard mascara. A man beard mascara?

Yeah, for covering up greys, which I took personally, of course. I haven't seen. I've got lots of greys coming through. The ginger's going grey. Oh, the odd one. Yeah, right. The gingers are slowly going grey. Okay. Which, to be honest, is my preferred non-brown hair colour of beard.

Yeah, right. I'd rather have a speckle of salt and pepper than, you know, a little... So you're not going to grey... But then if you black the beard, it'll be ginger. Should I do it one day? I said to Hayley because she was here

when I opened the box, I said, one day I'm just going to come to work having done this. But it only lasts a day, like mascara. Yeah. Which is weird

because every time I touch my beard and I'm constantly touching it, I have black... No, no, no. It'll dry down. Oh, okay. Yeah, you just need... Or one day I'm going to wear it to work and I'm not touching it, I'd have black... No, no, no. It'll dry down. Oh, okay. Ah. Yeah, you just need to make up, remove it. Well, one day I'm going to wear it to work,

and I'm not going to say anything. Yeah, perfect. Well, and you'll just have all of a sudden a black beard. Well, no, it was brown. Brown. It wasn't black. I think we'll 100% notice. You'll notice, because then I'll do it,

and then I'll think it's funny, and then I'll do my eyebrows as well. Yeah, cute. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, no. Are the Gen Zs okay? What did they say in the meeting about? About beard mascara.

That didn't make it to the minutes, but I'll put that forward for next meeting. I don't see many Gen Z dudes with beards. They all grow the little mustaches. I was about to say, I don't think Gen Zs are doing beards yet. Well, they can't yet, can they? No.

Cute. Bless them. They haven't joined up the moustache to the chin. No, yeah. That takes a few years. That does take a while. That's the last bit to come in. Yeah.

Throat always gets the throat beard. Always comes in first. Ew. What? Ew, yeah. Just the throat. No, no, no. It's always way heavier under here.

And that's why you'll see people with throat beards. And then they get a moustache. Some people can never join it. No, no. The beard and the moustache. Yeah. Fascinating.

Yeah. When I see a bald guy that can't grow a beard I feel sorry for him. Aww. I do. Was that a call out to Fletch? No, Fletch got it

over the house. Daddy grows a beard. He does. I haven't seen it. Daddy grows a beard and nobody doesn't like it because he says it gets itchy. It's itchy. I love a nice clean shave with a blade. Daddy grows a beard. I haven't seen it. Daddy grows a beard. Nobody doesn't like it because he says it gets itchy. It's itchy.

I love a nice clean shave with a blade. Love it. Yeah. Don't. That was a bit weird. You should try to get him to grow his mustache. Grow a mustache. Yeah, he looks like a police officer.

Movember. Movember. We'll get the mascara for you. Just look it up. We'll see. We'll see. I'm not against the raising money side of it. Again, I just don't like the itchiness.

And then I look like Vaughan. I have bits of porridge in my bed for the whole day and no one tells me. It's living, baby. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

This is the top six. Hello there. A is the top six. Hello there. A Christchurch mansion. And I'm not talking just like, is it just a big house? It recently sold for an undisclosed amount, but they believe somewhere between $8 and $9 million. Oh, okay. Are you on one roof having a little nosy?

Ah, no. That was just a KPI for the company. Oh, that was a KPI for it. Oh, yes, I am. Yes, I am. Yeah. a KPI for the company. That was a KPI for it. Yes, I am. They do the estimate, don't they? Yeah, they do an estimate. Oh, I don't know what the estimate is.

Whenever you go on, like OneRiff, of course, my preferred website of choice, unless it tells me my property value has dropped and then I go elsewhere to find it. You're in denial, Vaughan. They're all saying the same price. No, because during COVID it was very, very high.

And then it went very, very low. Yeah, but everybody's was very, very high during COVID, Vaughan. I know, but I liked it when it was very, very high. And the interest rates were very, very low. And now it's gone the other way around. Yeah, but that's not one roof's fault, is it? Isn't it? It's somebody's fault.

It's not mine. I think it might be your fault, maybe. Oh, but that's not one roof's fault, is it? Isn't it? It's somebody's fault. It's not mine. I think it might be your fault. Maybe. Oh, dammit. The house is called The Rocks. It's very, very nice. It's very posh, isn't it? Very, very posh. Very, very nice. And overlooking the ocean. Now, when you

overlook the ocean, of course, you've got ocean creatures. Yeah. Starfish. Starfish will crawl up. Crabs. Crabs in the basement. Seals. Starfish will crawl up. Crabs. Crabs in the basement. Yeah. Seals. Yeah, because it's up a cliff.

But birds. Oh, yeah. If you're familiar with birds, seagulls particularly, they fly and they can fly straight up cliffs. So to get rid of them, they purchased a bird imitator. And I guess it plays a panicked seagull noise. Right. And it makes them freak out, because I'll never forget,

and my kids still talk about it, and they were young when it happened. Yeah. At our old place, we grew sunflowers, and I put them somewhere to dry, and then we looked out, and there was just these hundreds of these little goldfinch birds that we'd never seen at our place before eating the sunflower seeds. And I looked them up, found what they were, found the noise they made, and then played a noise out the window they made, and then like played a noise out the window to them, and they left and never came back.

Like they pan... Like it was like I didn't know I was playing a distress call. Right. And they were gone and they never came back. That is what was said on that... I do not know what the distressed bird said in the distressed bird call, but it was enough to deter them. They never came back

for those delicious, delicious sunflower seeds. So I'm guessing that's what these people are playing. Right. But it's upsetting the... Oh, okay. So Carwin, producer Carwin, has just sent me the one roof estimate for this property. $3.65 million.

Well, they said between eight and nine in this story I'm reading. An undisclosed amount. Right. So they're using a deterrent to get rid of them. Neighbours say it sounds like a masonry drill. Worse sound. Like masonry drills are dentist drills on steroids.

Air piercing. It's around the beach, so people are like, it's actually like pretty gross to just be walking along the beach and hear it. There's seals, penguins, seagull colony nearby. It must be disturbing them. Anyway, people aren't happy about it, but this glass-faced mansion's got shit all over the balustrade. So, you know, if I was cleaning the shit on the balustrade,

I'd try a few things. Yeah, me too, probably. So I've got the top six ways to deter seagulls without music from shitting on your balustrade. Okay, This could maybe stop the unrest in the community. Yes. Well, that's what I'm here for. I'm a peacemaker.

You know what they say about me. Number six on the list, get pet hawks. Okay. And do they attack seagulls? Do they? They will. They're hungry enough. Okay. And they'll be hungry. Yeah. Good. Because they're hungry enough. Okay. And they'll be hungry. Yeah.

Good. Because they're hawks. Number five on the list of the top six ways to disperse seagulls without air-piercing sounds from shitting on your balustrade. Trail of fish and chips that's somewhere else.

Then every day you just drop a few more bucks of chips in that same spot. Right. And then they will always go there. They'll always go there

because that's what they learn. They learn that that's where the food's at. And if you're affording an eight to nine million or maybe three and a half million dollar property, a few dollars a day

and chips. A couple of scoops isn't going to break the bank. No. Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six ways to disperse seagulls

without driving your neighbours insane and without them shitting on your balustrade, make them start paying rent. Give them all rental forms to fill out and pay a bond. And then weekly. They'll go squat somewhere else.

They'll go somewhere else. Yeah. They're only there because it's free. Number three on the list of the top six ways to disperse seagulls without upsetting the neighbours with ear-piercing sounds. A dress-up is their biggest threat in the wild. And I'll just Google what their biggest threat is.

Oh my God, yeah, this place sold for $8.1 million in 2012. It was $8.1 million. Jeez, $8.1 million. Get away, seagulls. That's a lot of money. You can dress up

as their biggest threat, which I just Googled, and it's humans. We're everyone's biggest threat, so that's easy. Or you could employ a human. Or just buy a scarecrow

but get it dressed up in a suit. Like it's going to suit like it's a lawyer and it's going to issue them some legal papers. That'll scare anybody away. Number two on the list of the top six ways to disperse seagulls without annoying the neighbours with ear-piercing sounds and, of course, without them shitting on your balustrade. Extra-strength fly tape.

Okay. So when they land, they can't take off. Yeah, but then they're going to just be constantly shitting. No, and then you pick them up and drive them out of town and drop them off somewhere else. And then they fly back. They might fly back. They might fly back.

They might fly back. And number one on the list of the top six ways to disperse the seagulls and get them to stop shitting on your balustrade. Shit on their balustrade. See how that works. Where is their balustrade? I don't know. Just find their house

on the side of the cliff and just... Or shit on them. Yeah. That would show them. Yeah. You know, do unto others.

Like, yeah. As that you would have them do unto you. Yeah, yeah. But then you're also probably going to have shit on your deck and balustrade. Your shit.

No, go over the side. Over the side. You've got to go to their place. You've got to find out where they live. Okay. And it's in the side. Over the side. You've got to go to their place. You've got to find out where they live. Okay. And it's in the side of cliffs. I remember Googling once because I'd never seen a baby seagull.

And we don't see them because they're on the side of cliffs. Right. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, Vaughn, this is your type of medical experiment. Yeah. People were squirted with hot sauce while in a scanner. What?

To look at their brain patterns. In their eyes? No, in the mouth. Like they were given hot sauce. Right. Now, the studies have found that positive expectations and like positive thinking can decrease the perceived intensity of spiciness. But what kind of positive thinking?

Like, I'm going to like this hot sauce, or it's not going to be that hot, or, man, oh, I'm just having such a great day. Because if I was just like, they're like, okay, you're in a scanner, just think some positive thoughts. You're like, man, I'm having a great day. And then someone's like,

and you're like, ah, immediately negative. You'd need to be told that the hot sauce is coming, right? Yeah, you're told that the hot sauce is coming. And I guess, yeah, they just want you to perceive in your brain that it's going to be not bad. Right. It's all good. That's like everything.

It's like an electric shock. An electric shock. The worst part about the electric shock is just before you get the electric shock, when you know you're going to get an electric shock. Or the surprise of it. But if you can convince yourself, like, I just need to test this electric shock. Yep. Stand on one foot and grab the electric fence as hard as you can.

Yeah. It's like, ooh, that was bad. It's not as bad as if it gets you by surprise or if you're the big panic about it beforehand. Yes, 100%. So what they found is, yeah, that positive expectations decreased the intensity of spiciness and activate brain regions associated with pleasure and higher level thinking. But also on the flip side, negative expectations made spicy foods seem less enjoyable.

So if you're freaking yourself out about a spicy curry, you're only going to make it worse. That does not surprise me whatsoever. That's just kids about anything. Yes, when you were a kid. All my wife. They get themselves so worked up about something before it happens that they'll never enjoy it. It was like, okay, so

yesterday, case in point. You're on it. Okay. When we were at Disneyland, we were lined up for the Incredibles rollercoaster. Yeah. The Incredicoaster, which is a great rollercoaster. That sounds fun. So much fun. We were lined up. We were literally next about to get in and Indy talked herself out of it.

And when we got off, we were like, that was so rad. It's such a good roller coaster. She's like, I wish I'd done it. Yesterday, she went to Rambo's Inn with her cousins.

Oh yeah. Was lined up for the roller coaster. Apparently made a deal with my dad when they drove past last time saying next time I go there, I'm definitely going on the roller coaster. Yeah. She was lined up.

She was literally the next person to get in and she talked herself out of it. And then her cousin did it and said, that was so much fun. And she's like, I kind of wish I'd done it. Yeah. And then the people that negative the whole line or even overthink it too much

are going to have a bad time. Yeah. Relax. It's going to be fun. Yeah. Look at all these people. Hundreds of people are doing this thing and no one's getting off saying,

this is the worst time of my life. The occasional person might get off and be like, I'm terrified. That's the exciting part. Just go with the flow. Let it take you. Get a bit of adrenaline in you. And yeah, try that spicy hot sauce. Ride the coaster.

Try the sauce. Silly little poe. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. It's a two-parter today. She's a two-parter. Do you know your own body count? That's your number of sexual partners. Yes or no? 75% of people do.

They know the number. Now, the reason we ask this today is because a study out of America showed that one in four hide this number from their partner. Maybe they're embarrassed by it or they think it's either too little or too many. It doesn't line up with their partner. Or they don't want to have that whole, oh, really? Who is she? Yeah.

When was this? I actually just saw a funny meme. I've sent it to my wife. It's a woman sitting there beside her partner and she's like, I know I'm not his first girlfriend. Next. I know I'm not his first kiss. Next, I know I'm not his first kiss, but actually forget it. Now I'm angry at him. I was just like, that's good stuff.

That's good. That's good stuff. I mean, ladies and gentlemen, that's the reason we don't have these discussions, right? Yeah. This argument's about nothing in the past. Exactly, just avoid it. Do you know your body count?

75% of people said yes, they do. Wow. 25% said no. I did wake up to a message from our friend James this morning. Yes. With a screenshot of our silly little poll, which just said, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It just said, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, yeah.

Is he laughing because he doesn't? Or is he laughing because who knows? I actually don't know how he voted. Yes, I want to know what he was laughing, what his laugh was. Follow-up question. Have you told your partner your body count? 54% of people said yes. 46% said no, they haven't.

Okay. They haven't told their partner. So that's way different than the American study, isn't it? Yeah. Which was only 25%. Some responses, and apparently this was a very popular response. Okay. Chris says, easy. It's

one this week. No, I think in Chris's lifetime. In the lifetime. Oh, wow. Because they found the true love. One. Just one. No zeros behind it. Just one this week? No, no. In a lifetime. No zeros. In October?

No. Oh. His whole life. I think he found the one he wanted to be with and he's been with one and only had relationships with that person. In October. We're 11 days in. Slow month, is it? Slow month for you.

Rude. Rude. We're a third of the way through October and you're at one? Something's wrong. Are you feeling okay? Alistair said, yeah, kind of. I stopped counting at 100. Alistair, you dog.

You old cedar, 100. My God, man. You must have seen some buttholes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Renee said, I have a list of everyone in a rating. Why not? Let's me know who might be worth going back to reduce, reuse, recycle. Now, apparently, this is what the girlies are doing. Yeah. So what kind of rating do you think?

Like out of five or 10? Me? No. What do you think? She, out of five or ten? Me? No, what do you think? She's rating, like. Like on the scale or, like, are there points for different things? Well, it might be a five-star system. I don't know because I know the girlies talk about, like, they have the notes app in their phone.

They keep a list. Not you guys specifically, but this is just a thing done. Oh, yeah, no, I've got a list. Well, I was trying to get you out of the trouble there, but let's hear it. Let's hear the list. Well, I've got first and last name asides from... Do you have any name on there

more than once? Like the same name like Matt, for example. There's been more than one Matt. What name is it? Oh no, you don't have to say if that makes you uncomfortable. Nick? Wow, okay. Sometimes I forget this is public radio. I was just trying to get a feel on what men are out there doing their thing.

Is there anyone in the phone that, like, you don't know their last name or they've got a nickname? Yeah. I get that. That's cool. Yeah, but the girlies and all my friends do this. They'll write kind of like a one-sentence review. Almost like a bad yelp review.

Okay. A bad yelp review. If all your reviews are bad, I feel like there's a common denominator here. No, no. The reviews, I just mean like it's just like a short review. A short review. Right. Okay.

Interesting. Okay. I feel like guys wouldn't do this. Maybe some would, but I feel like no. I feel like guys Wouldn't do this Maybe some would But I feel like No I feel like no Sierra says I stopped counting

After 30 At least you Stopped counting After 30 Not the other guy Who kept counting Up to 100 SJ says

It takes a few minutes To recall it though They have to run Through in their head Yeah right Yeah Of course I was a virgin Until I was married, so I only was one. Because the good Lord was watching.

Always watching. Not since I bought that masturbation-blocking God blanket off TV. Yeah, which you staple to your roof. We have to. It's so heavy, it's impossible to go under the blanket. I think it's just a weighted blanket, Vaughn. That's been rebranded as a masturbation blanket. A blanket blocker.

Isaac said, no, because I'm worried it'll prompt her to tell me hers, and as far as I'm concerned, I was her first and I won't hear otherwise. Oh, why do you care? Who cares? You're not her first, but at current time, you're her last. Yeah. PSP. The past is the past.

Yeah. Past is past. It should be T-P-S-T-E-P. Very long. The past is the past. Very long. Yeah. Hold on.

There was more for this. Surprisingly, this is a hot topic. Quite a bit of feedback. Danielle, like most girls, Notes app on the phone tells all. I'm going to get me into some of these Notes apps. How fascinating. I want to see. I wonder if people would send in, it might be give away too much info,

but if there were no last names or. Like you could do redactions. Because when you screen cap, you can go to like edit, you go to markup and redact. I would love to see some redacted notes apps and what the girls are saying about guys. Yeah, like, is there a rating? Yeah, first name, maybe last name.

Is there a rating? What kind of things does the review cover? Yeah, and if it was about you, would you cry? Yeah, like, would you be like, big wet tongue? You know what I'm like, big wet tongue? You know what I'm saying? Big wet tongue? A little bit of a nibbler?

What sort of things are in these reviews? What's in there? How do we do this? How would we do that? We'd ask on Anonymous. You send us a redacted, no names, screen cap of your notes app with your conquests. And you read them.

And then maybe they're only for podcasts. Only for podcasts. I think only for podcasts. Because then you could really get into the nitty gritty of it. Yeah, yeah. Whereas on a public broadcast, you're somewhat restricted by the Broadcasting Standards Authority. Tara says, yes, I do know the number because it's low.

Okay. And she can count. Maybe on fingers. Again, this month and year, right? Me and my husband have matching numbers How cute's that? Oh, that's cute I bet she could still find a way to be angry at him though Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally

How would she do that? She'd be angry at him because One of them was a cheerleader Yeah, yes Your numbers are the same But are the average out of tens hotties the same? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha.

Woman's special skill. A way to be angry at a man when you're in exactly the same situation. Now, I went to the theatre last night, and about 30 seconds before that song ended, Fletch said, I don't know anything about Peter Pan. I know. It was a Peter Pan. It was a take on.

It was different. It wasn't a traditional Peter Pan story, but I would like to know what you do know about Peter Pan. Well, okay. It blows my mind, the big gaps in your childhood. No, like I remember. It's just not something I've kept up with. It refreshed my knowledge on Bourne. Not something I've kept up with. Peter Pan's not, Vaughn. Not something I've kept up with?

Peter Pan's not up to series 10, my dude. It's Peter Pan. You know, like, I would have read it when I was a kid and then I didn't need it again. Yeah. You know, like, I haven't watched any, you know, like, I don't have kids. Maybe, okay.

So I haven't refreshed my knowledge. But what do you know about Peter Pan? He's, um... Where does he live? He lives... Do you remember the Robin Williams movie, Hook? Yes. That was a great... I was going to say, Williams movie, Hook? Yes. That was a great.

I was going to say, is there a pirate? Yes. Okay. And then he's always in pyjamas, eh? Who? Peter Pan. No. Pyjama-esque costume.

No. You're thinking. Funny shoes. He's got funny shoes. He's got funny shoes. Yeah. And there's Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell's the fairy.

And there's stars. Are there stars? I don't know. It's the stars. Is there a starry sky? No. Areinkerbell's the fairy. And there's stars. Are there stars? I don't know. It's the stars. Is there a starry sky? No. Are you thinking of the fairy dust? Maybe.

That twinkles. Yes, his twinkles. Yeah. And that's all. He's not in pyjamas. Okay. That's Wendy and John. Right.

That's the kids that he kind of steals from London. Right. And he takes them to Neverland. And he puts them in that cage with the Von Trapps. Beg your pardon? The Nazis. No, you're getting confused. That's Sound of Music. Do they end up in a cage in Sound of Music? I don't know. There's no cage in Sound of Music.

Don't they run from the Nazis? I don't know. I don't know if there's a cage. Maybe I'm thinking of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Child Catcher. Terrifying as a child, not as scary as an adult. And that's kind of what I want to talk about. Right.

Because it was this production, Auckland Theatrical Company. That's what HSC stands for. Okay. It's putting on Peter Pan. Right. And my kids are in their school's production of Peter Pan. Right. But their school's production of Peter Pan is the more traditional story of Peter Pan.

Whereas the one that you went to last night. Right. But their school's production of Peter Pan is the more traditional story of Peter Pan. Whereas the one that you went to last time. Which when you watch now on Disney+, which was like made 50 odd, 60, probably even longer, years ago now. There are some parts at the start that Disney will warn you that it was a different time. Okay. Like how Native American.

Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. Tiger Lily and there's some songs and stuff. Yeah, right. They wouldn't fly these days. So this didn't have that. But one thing that's confirmed for me is as I get older,

I'm just kind of seeing the Disney villain side of things. Peter Pan's a shitbag. Is he? He's just like, Captain Hook's just like, I've already lost my hand to an alligator, leave me alone. So what you were He's just like Calm down Stop being a rat bag

Behave yourself Right I thought Peter Pan Was the bad guy in this one Oh In the one we watched last night Peter Pan's way more Of the bad guy

Right And he originally Was a rascal Yeah But this one Right up until the end He's a bad guy No spoilers

No spoilers But I was kind of like He's supposed to be the bad guy Because it's a different Telling of the Peter Pan story But this one, right up until the end, no spoilers, no spoilers. But I was kind of like, oh, so he's supposed to be the bad guy. Because it's a different telling of the Peter Pan story. Oh, right. Wendy's much more of the, a bit more of the hero. Okay. Bit of a modern take on it.

Yep. And set in New Zealand, kind of. Okay. But I was like, yeah, and I was like, they've got a point. Okay, so you're more On the Disney villain side Of things now As I get older maybe

Right Yeah Any other Disney villains That you Evil Evil Queen from Snow White

You know She's just Trying to get on With her new marriage And Snow White's like You're not my real mum She's had enough Of her shit

Yeah I'm not in that Situation but I bet there's some Stepmothers out there That are like You're not my real mum She's had enough of her shit Yeah I'm not in that situation But I bet there's some Stepmothers out there That are like If I could get my hands On a poison apple Yeah right

I see what you're saying Yeah Sleeping Beauty Same vibe Yep What other Jafar Nah

Hard to get on Jafar's side That was just an absolute Power grab But he was doing all the work Let's face it The king was a buffoon Yeah So maybe Maybe I get on Jafar's side. That was just an absolute power grab. But he was doing all the work. Let's face it, the king was a buffoon. So maybe I am on Jafar's team there as well. Scar. He just got done.

Like, his brother wasn't really doing much. Yeah. Like, the lionesses were doing all the hard graft. Killing was probably a bit far, though. He could have just totally started a smear campaign against Mufasa. Had him cancelled rather than, yeah, try to. There's someone on his team now too. Sounds like you're a Disney villain.

Yeah. And then modern Disney stories don't have villains as such. Like you think about in the first Frozen, the villain was like, Elsa was the villain, but she wasn't really the villain. Oh no, the villain was the guy that came from another kingdom. That was just a power grab. You can't blame him. Okay.

It really sounds like you're on the side now of dizzy villains. Yeah, that's just how politics works, baby. Yep. Final rankings next. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's the final rankings. Every

Friday, we do final rankings. We rank things in order. Yeah. Today, the subject is tinned foods. Canned foods. Well, this, Hayley's away today sick, but this, I think, was this her idea? Did she proclaim to love a baked bean?

I think it was when we were talking about the odd person storing their tinned food upside down. That's right. And we then debated what was the superior toast topping from a can. I don't mind a creamed corn in a toasty with cheese and maybe some kind of condiment sauce. But it's second to spaghetti. As I've grown older, I've grown more tolerant of a creamed corn. As a child, worst nightmare.

I just wanted corn. Yeah, see, I'm not about the tinned spaghetti. I do a baked bean on, like, you know, on scrambled eggs. Yeah, because you don't get too many other baked bean options, do you? Yeah, but spaghetti, you kind of can get fresh pasta, and then it's hard to go back to the slop. What about if they've got little sausages in them? Absolutely not.

The little sausages. A question of all sausages. You'd almost be better to buy sausages. Yes. And slice them up and chuck them in. Yeah, you would. As you begin the heat. Yep.

The heating of the spaghetti. How do you heat it? If you're going to heat just baked beans. I just don't... Like I'll buy a lot of tinned beans to add to stuff. But not baked beans. But not baked beans. But if you were going to heat baked beans. I just don't... Like, I'll buy a lot of tinned beans to add to stuff. But not baked beans. But not baked beans. But if you were going to heat baked beans, how would you do it?

In a pot? Yeah. Superior. Because the microwave starts bubbling around the sides before it's heated in the interior. It's got to be a pot. Pot and a low heat. In terms of other tinned foods that I buy, yeah, it's just a lot of beans, really. Okay.

Are we including fruits? Because I feel like peaches is going to have this unfair advantage on me because I love a tin of peaches. You love a tin of peaches. I don't have time for tin pears. I love those tinned mandarins. I don't know why they're so sweet. I think it's because they're literally a sweet fruit soaking in sugar.

Yeah. Sugar water. I mean, yeah, it's not good for you, but. What else even comes in a tin? Everything. As Yeah. Sugar water. I mean, yeah, it's not good for you, but... Yeah. What else even comes in a tin? Everything. Asparagus. Asparagus. Mushroom.

Like, have you seen they've got mushrooms in a tin? That's wrong. No, I don't want mushrooms in a tin. Oh, what about sometimes I buy those little baby corns? Baby corns in a tin. If I'm doing, like, Thai kind of dishes. Yeah, yeah. Not to eat by themselves, though.

No. I think what we've got to do is rank things now that you could just crank a can open and eat it. With a fork. No, that's not... Because do is rank things now that you could just crank a can open and eat it. With a fork. No, that's not, no. Because everybody's doing that. You can't put baby corns in there. I'm going to put baby corns as my number three.

I'm going to go cream corns. I'm going to go cream corns. Too many corns. And then I'm going to go baked beans. And then I'm going to go baby corns. Corn hub? Over here? You're a high definition corn? I am. Wow. And I'll tell you my favourite. to go baby corns. Corn hub? Over here? You're a high definition corn?

I am. Wow. And I tell you my favourite, my favourite, the tin that I would buy the most would be the, it's a Mexican bean mix. I think Woolworths do it,

Countdown. That's the one that you can add to all your cooking. It's amazing. Get out. It's amazing. I don't want beans. Beans are the worst part of Mexican food.

If I get a big burrito and it's loaded up with rice and beans, I feel ripped off. Now, I know it might be a bit more traditional, but I just want the other stuff. The salsa, the guac, and the meat. Yeah. I would go, number one's got to be tinned peaches for me, if fruits included.

Yeah, okay. I love tinned peaches. Second would be, what about a creamy pud? A rice pud. A rice pud. I love tin peaches. Second would be what about a creamy pud? A rice pud? A rice pud. Aunt Betty's? Aunt Betty's rice pud. There you go. Again, another thing as a child, every time I saw one, I felt

like I was about to be ripped off. But as an adult, I'm like, I can kind of dig that. And it's simplicity and easiness. Which is probably why I got it as a child in the first place. The things we learn as we get older and see things from the other side of the coin. Number one, peaches. Yeah. Number two, spaghetti.

Yeah. Canned spaghetti, which I don't have very often, but I sure wouldn't say no to it if it appeared. Mouse on top of a half a bun. Mousetrap. Mousetrap it. Mousetrap it. Yeah. Add some cheese.

And three. Oh! Tomatoes. No! Two tomatoes., with some cheese. And three. Oh! Tomatoes. No. Tinned tomatoes. Crushed Italian tomatoes. Yuck. Tinned tomatoes.

Yuck. They're essential, like bolognese and nyungnese. Yeah, but you could choose anything in a tin and you're choosing. Tomatoes, just for practicality purposes. Always got to have tinned tomatoes in the cupboard. You simply must for any mince dish. It'll really liven it up. So we've absolutely had nothing in common today.

Zero in common. Zero of the six tinned things in common. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley's. Well, it's been described as junk science. Superstition and also not peer-reviewed, so technically not science. Okay. But two men, Mitch and Greg,

set out to scan a ton of faces and try to find commonalities between gay men's faces that would account for what facial features make gay people. Well, it's obviously the nose, isn't it? If you've got a nose, you're gay. Lots of people have got noses. Imagine if they released that and homophobes cut their noses off. I'm not gay.

I'm not gay. It'd be funny. I've got no nose. Look, I've got no nose. Everyone around here with a nose Is gay to me And they're too excited They're like jokes And everyone's like

But I cut my nose off In 2011 So this isn't the first study One study found that Gay men have more Symmetrical faces Ouch Ouch

Ouch Ouch To me and my Fung sided face But you do have the eye thing Don don't you, in our photos? I do, yeah. One eye is not quite. So there you go.

Well, that's science. You're obviously straight. Damn. Imagine if one day I look in the mirror and I'm like, my eyes are even. Shut up. It's over. It's over.

We can stay with me. You can be my beard if you want. I'm moving on. So that was the first one that did it. And then in 2015, researchers used software to map physical structure of faces to find an underlying pattern that gay men had shorter noses and larger foreheads. That's ridiculous. Then they're straight pals.

Okay. And lesbian women had more upturned noses. Because when they're going in, it pushes up. Should I stop saying that? Should I stop saying that? Are we on air or is this a podcast? It's on air, yeah. Oh, this is a live broadcast. Yeah, so they don't start upturned.

Hey, you know, there's no one that's better than me. They start downturned and then they end upturned. That's just what they call evolution. And smaller foreheads. Than straight women. Okay, but why has this taken off? It's the internet, right? Like TikTok?

It's the internet. Okay. And it's coming from within the community, which I very much like. It's not like a bunch of people. It's not like that old, what was that called? Phrenology?

Have you ever read about that? No. This crazy thing they used to measure different parts of the skull. Oh, right. And different distances on the skull. It was 100% based in the most racist being like, well, black people aren't intelligent as us because look at my phrenology chart.

This part is obviously, this part relates to, but it was all racially structured against anyone that wasn't white. Junk science, yeah. It was insane junk science. And that was, like, to persecute and to keep people down. But this is gay people just trying to identify more gays, I think. What would they say about your head? They've slept with all of them.

They're like, we need more. Let's find an identifying facial feature. And then we'll be like, okay, straight guy. Right. But again, not peer reviewed. Not peer reviewed. Did they find any in their, because you said they scanned faces. Did they actually find any?

There was, they reinforced what they found about the noses and the foreheads. Right. When they scanned the faces. But then all actual scientists and experts in the area are like, it's a bit of fun, but let's not call it science. Yeah, okay. Let's pump the brakes on. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Hayley's away today, sick. So Friday flashback would be her pick, but we're going to let the producers do it today. Do we have a clue as to what we're getting? We're thinking laneway-esque. Oh, okay. But we want to ask you guys off here

because we're really nervous of being roasted. Oh, okay, yeah. You've just got to fly into it with like an undeserved confidence. Yeah, a white middle-aged man. Imagine you're a white middle-aged man who's never faced any adversity. You pick a song and you just tell everyone they're going to love it. We just wanted some advice from the postman himself. Yeah, true.

Oh, please. I am the postman. You are. I am the postman. You are the walrus. It's coming up at 8 o'clock after the news. Today's Friday flashback. Well, passengers had a diversion on a Turkish Airlines flight this week.

They were flying from Seattle to Turkey. I'd imagine there might have been some dry lamb. Some dry lamb on the way. Some dry lamb on board. And a few hours into the flight, the captain became unconscious. Jesus. And died. Wow.

Dead. Like they're trying to, I'm imagining they did the whole, bing bong, is there a doctor on board and not a doctor of psychology? Or a doctor of English. Or a doctor of English.

And they look around, everyone looks around and they're like, well, I can't see any passengers in here now. Who is it? Yeah, who is it? And yeah, I can't see any passengers in here now. Who is it? Yeah, who is it? And, yeah, they tried. I'm trying not to panic people. Jeez.

And, yeah, they couldn't revive him, and he passed away. So they diverted the plane, because at this stage, like looking at the flight map, they were heading over, like they were heading north, like over towards Greenland, and had to come all the way back down to New York to land, because I'm guessing they have a base there as well. But it's with that thing, whatever, whosoever airspace you die in, that's the country they technically died in, right?

Because they'll wait to pronounce that dead over international waters. Is that what they do? I've heard from someone they did that. Or they'll be like, oh, they died just before we landed. So, I mean, on these big flights, these long-haul flights, there's a first officer and a second officer, so three pilots. So the other two landed the plane. That was not an issue.

They were obviously capable of doing that. But, like, not what you want to hear. That's pretty wild. The captain is dead. The captain's died. But did they tell them over the speaker, or did it just come out afterwards? I don't know.

I wouldn't tell them. You wouldn't tell them, no. Youaker or did it just come out afterwards? I don't know. I wouldn't tell them. I wouldn't pause on a GPS. You just say there's a medical emergency, we're landing the plane in New York. Yeah. Oh, yeah, true. They did have to divert them to New York. So I guess they did owe them some form of explanation. Some kind of explanation, yeah.

But it gave me an idea of a phone-in topic now. The craziest thing that you've seen happen on a plane. Because even this week there's been some insane turbulence. Like, wasn't there a flight to Dunedin that couldn't land and people were like sick everywhere? Oh, really? Yeah. And then there was that flight, what, the start of the year? Was that the LATAM flight that just, they bumped the pilot seat and it went into a dive?

Is that what caused that? It was a button on the seat that got knocked. How did that, so he got button on the seat that got knocked. How did that? So he got knocked and he was like, whoa. Well, the seat, I pushed him forward or something. And yeah, I'm guessing that's what happened. Jeez, I don't know. I never heard the outcome of what caused that.

That's wild. But I don't know. Thousands of flights every day around the world. People, people involved. Yeah. Crazy things happening. You're far more likely to be injured in a car crash. Yeah, you are. Far, far more likely. But just, there's always weird, you know, people involved. Yeah. Crazy things happening. You're far more likely to be injured in a car crash. Yeah, you are.

Far, far more likely. But just, there's always weird, you know, people are weird. People are weird. There's always weird things that happen on planes. People flip out, fights over, you know, tray tables or reclining. Yeah. Well, a long time ago, a woman fainted and fell on me. Oh, yeah?

When we were on a plane, because we were by the toilet row. So she was, I think she got up and walked down there and maybe got up too quick or something. And she. Oh, yeah. When we were on a plane because we were by the toilet row. So she was, I think she got up and walked down there and maybe got up too quick or something and she was like, whoa.

And I woke up when she fell on me and then I was like, whoa, and I got up out of the seat and they came running down and then they like threw water on her.

Yeah. But then my seat got wet and so I had to sit on a wet seat. Okay. Did they give you like a muffin or something? No, no muffin.

Any compensation? No compensation. Okay. Not even, I put a towel down, you know. Shannon, the craziest thing that you've seen on a flight? It was my first ever long haul flight and we had landed

and everyone had got up, like seatbelt sign off. As we were about to leave the plane a woman projectile threw up all over the aisle, all over people's bags as they were trying to leave. Oh, she nearly made it. She nearly made it. She nearly made it. She nearly made it. We know someone that had bad food when they were travelling overseas.

Shit their pants. Shit their pants in their seat. That's right. Like, I would never tell a living soul about that. What do you do? Like, how do you... I don't know. Do you put your undies down?

Everything's going to go in the bin. You flush your undies down the toilet? Everything's in the bin? And ever since then, I've always kept a spare pair of undies in my carry-on. Every time. Because you never know. Yeah. And it's long haul.

You take like jeans and then you get into track pants on the flight. So then if you shit yourself, you can get back into your jeans. Yeah. Full and packed. Yeah. Yeah. I just, yeah. Better travelling, everybody.

You can't trust airline food. No. 0800DARLS at him. We want to take your calls. You can't trust airline food. No. 0800 DALZITEM. We want to take your calls. You can text her as well. 9696. What is the craziest thing that you've seen happen on a plane? Somebody said,

I saw a lady full-on choking on one of those Air New Zealand lollies. It was touch and go. Someone was able to perform first aid and dislodge it, but I'm scared of those lollies now. Oh, my goodness. Just give them a nice... Don't be scared of lollies. Yeah, don't be scared of lollies.

That's what they want. They can... Lollies, like horses, can smell your fear. They can. And if you do eat them and you're scared of them, that's a lifetime on the lips.

No, a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. Something like that, yeah. Don't be scared of lollies. Eat lollies. The weirdest thing, having a mental plane, I looked out the window

and there was some duct tape on the wing. Oh yeah, sometimes they do duct tape. Should they? Yeah, I happened to be on a plane I looked out the window and there was some duct tape on the wing Oh yeah, sometimes they do duct tape Should they? I don't know I don't think it's just standard cheap $2 shop duct tape, right? My last flight was from Sydney to Christchurch And there was a drunk South African couple

That had flown from South Africa Who had had a divorce on the plane And the flight attendant had to move them away from each other And stuff was getting insane. Wow. Okay. Ethan, what was the craziest thing that happened that you saw on a plane?

It was actually my dad, but he's a nurse. And he was sitting down and coaching. And some flight attendant from first class says, are there any doctors on board? Which you know is always a good sign. And they said, all right, are there any doctors on board? Which you know is always a good sign. They said, alright, anyone with any other medical training? He goes, yeah. Goes up to first class. There's a guy

with a chicken bone lodged all the way down in his windpipe. Oh my god! He's not choking, but he can still get air through. The flight team are saying to him, he's like, do we need to force a landing?

He's like, he's got air. We can carry on. Only because your dad's like, I just want to get home to be honest. I think that was partly true, but even so, they said, yeah, we'll be fine. When they landed, he had to sign

a bunch of papers and stuff. But when he went back to sit down at his seat, they did give him a nice big bottle of bubbly for free. Oh, that's nice. Oh, lovely. Nice. I might just lie next to him on the plane and they ask. Ethan, thank you.

Julie, what's the craziest thing that you saw on a plane? I honestly thought Ethan's dad was going to have to do a tracheotomy with a blunt Air New Zealand knife. Yeah. And a pen. Yeah. And an Air New Zealand pen. Julie, what did you see on a plane? Yeah, we were sitting on a

flight and somebody right in front of us collapsed and they started doing CPR on him and they did CPR for 50 minutes and then they stopped doing CPR strapped him in the seat and we landed the plane and

he was dead. Oh my god! At one point the pilot came out and I'm sitting with my partner going who's flying the plane? Don't worry, they have a couple of them sitting up there Julie, there's a spare one. Yeah, they had cleared a of them sitting up there, Julie. There's a spare one. Yeah.

Yeah. They had cleared a whole pile of people around him, and we were also thinking that these people were probably bumped up to first class, and you'd be so annoyed being bumped up to first class 50 minutes before you... Oh, yeah. Why couldn't that person have died earlier? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I had first class, I'd be like, you've got 15 minutes.

I'd be like, just keep him coming then. Caviar, champagne. A lot. I want everything I've missed out on on the 13-hour flight so far. Yeah. Oh, my God, that's so crazy. And then, like, were they in the aisle and they had to pick up the body and put it in the seat?

Yeah. Yeah, so they strapped him into the seat and put a blanket over him. And when the plane landed, I thought that, you know, paramedics or something would rush on board and take him off. Too late. But no, we just piled out past him. Julie, I love that you're laughing about this now, but I mean, yeah, God, what a horrible thing to witness.

It was. But we had to make a joke of it. And we, I don't know, for anybody who's watched the airplane movie, I was sitting with my partner going, did you eat the chicken? I ate the chicken. You have a great and dark humor. That's a classic movie. Love that, Julie. Thank you.

Keep your texts coming in. The craziest thing that you've seen on a flight. On a small plane in Tanzania. Oh, okay. That's. Keep your texts coming in. The craziest thing that you've seen on a flight. On a small plane in Tanzania. Oh, okay. That's a great start to a story. The pilot got on and pulled a TomTom out of his pocket, spat on the back of it, and stuck it to the windshield. We're talking old school GPS.

A TomTom? Yeah, yeah. Not a TomTom, not a drum. TomTom as in the GPS, the navigation thing. And they came with the window stickers. At this cloud. Spat on the back of it, stuck it to the windshield

and typed in Zanzibar and off we went. Jesus. Kitty, that's a hell of an adventure. When I was 13, I was flying into a small island in Fiji. We were in a six-seater. The pilot's five-year-old

was seated next to the door and was fiddling with the handle and I said, that door's going to come open and then the door did come open. Mid-flight. The five-year-old. Worst flight of my life.

Honestly thought we would die. Sydney to Wellington. Worst turbulence. Two aborted landings. Diverted to Christchurch but we had three Buddhist monks on board who broke into full Buddhist chants. Right.

Everyone else crying and vomiting and people were like, stop, stop. What are they saying? Yeah, just kind of making the situation worse. Yeah, yeah. Probably, you know, getting ready to depart. As the plane goes down, they ascend to the,

I don't know if we'll display them in heaven. I don't know enough about it. I was incredibly hungover on a flight back from Dunedin to Auckland at the end of a semester. I felt really nauseous

and unfortunately, I was sitting next to one of my marketing lecturers. I was waiting desperately for the plane to take off so I could go to the toilet and do a spew. But just as we took off,

I couldn't hold it back any longer. And projectile vomited all over the seat in front of me. And because I put my hands in front of my face, it kind of squirted out the sides and landed on my lecturer as well. She was actually really nice about it and gave me a mint. Oh, and a pass? Did they get a pass?

I don't know if they got a pass. That was probably out of their hands by then. After a week in Vegas, I mean, say no more. Oh, my God. Okay, it's not a hungover on a plane story. A week in Vegas, a mate and say no more. Oh my god! Okay, it's not a hungover on a plane story. A week in Vegas, a mate and I were flying out of Las Vegas airport. 20 minutes into the flight, I was like, what's that out the window? And I thought, I'm imagining

it. Because you know how sometimes if you're looking at nothing, you see like little rods in your eyes? They thought it was one of those. It was a missile. I said to my mate, can you see that? I didn't say, is that a missile? I said, can you see that? And he said, holy shit, that's a missile. I said to my mate, can you see that? I didn't say, is that a missile? I said, can you see that? And he said, holy shit, that's a missile.

What? And they could see a missile. Like a missile test. Yeah, but still. Still. You don't want to see a missile. It's like when you're in a plane and you see another plane. I shouldn't be seeing planes from here.

I'm in one. And we watched this missile fly past. They're like, that's insane. Yeah. That's proper insane. Just don't, that's insane. Yeah. That's proper insane. Just don't think that's going to be beaten. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Friday Flashback. Flashback. Flashback. Now, with Hayley away today, we've decided to give the producers the pick for Friday Flashback. Otherwise, it gets all out of tune. And also, I didn't want to... I just picked.

I just literally picked the other week. And you did good. You did sexy, Chick. Thank you. Yeah, it was a great song. It was a banger. It picked an absolute banger. Now, what have you decided today, producer girlies,

for Friday Flashback? Well, we've been very excited with the Laneway announcement. Carwen and I are both enjoying our Bratz summers. Oh, I forgot. Was the Sky Tower green this morning? It was. Was it the right shade of green? It actually was perfect. Really? Yellowy, neon green.

How do they do it? I don't know. Cellophane. Oh, probably. Cellophane. I reckon light. I don't know a lotane oh probably cellophane I reckon light I don't know a lot about lights but I personally believe the sort of lights

that would be powerful enough to light up the sky I'd probably get a bit hot for cellophane nah it's cellophane for sure this isn't a torch at home

it's brat cellophane yeah okay so are you going Charlie XCX yeah so the song was number 8 on the charts

in 2014 it was one of our by the way 2014 I thought you were going to say like five years ago this song came out. No, it was from one of our favourite movies of the era, The Fault in Our Stars. It's OG Charlie XCX. We got Boom Clap, baby. It's your Friday flashback on ZM.

It's your Friday flashback on ZM. Charli XCX, Boom Club. That's hard to believe that song is 10 years old and she will be headlining Laneway. White-tongue-y day. It's actually insulting. It's actually insulting to believe that that's 10 years old. Yeah, ZM Online has all the details for Laneway,

all the line-up. Producer Girlies, that was your pick today with Hayley being sick. Now listen, we were a little bit worried because there weren't any texts. But KPI. That's the thing. Sometimes no feedback is worse than bad feedback. Yeah, exactly.

Because at least bad feedback, you've got a little bit of passion for something. I was worried our parcel was lost, you know. Yeah, well, you're certainly not the post-men or women. Post-people. Post-people. Post-people. But everyone was listening on iHeartRadio, KPI, and everyone loves it.

Oh, great. Okay, lovely. I'm just happy to get another Friday KPI ticked off. Somebody said, that song was ridiculous. I think they said it in a good way. Yeah, like ridiculously good. Or ridiculous like they hadn't

heard it before. I don't know. Maybe they're not in their Brat Summer. They they hadn't heard it before. I don't know. Maybe they're not in their brat summer. Yeah. They just don't get it. Get into your brat summer. Now, yesterday was the 10th of October, and that's marked 20 years.

I said yesterday on air, there was 20 years that Shaday and I started going out. Yeah. We're married now, but I like to still say she's my girlfriend every now and then. Going around. Yeah, we've been going around. You've been going around. And you met her married now but I like to still say she's my girlfriend every now and then. Going around. Yeah, we've been going around. You've been going around.

You met her at the Outback in Hamilton. Our first initial meeting was at the Outback in Hamilton. Still wild. Yep. Good things can happen at the Outback.

Yep. Bad things can happen too. Things can happen. Things happen. There's a spectrum of things that happen at the Outback. That should be the Outback's tagline.

Things happen here. Things happen here. Good, bad, and in between. And I know over the years we've talked about it, other people have met at the Outback and are married and have kids now. Yeah. It's amazing. Outback babies.

Yeah. And then there should be some sort of club for Outback babies. And Grumpy Mole babies and just bars over the years. I think Grumpy Mole babies would be sort of a lower class. You're saying Outback babies, slightly. There needs to be a study in 20 years, one of those baby studies where they're like, all right, where did your parents meet?

And everybody says that. And then they collate how well you're doing in life compared to where your parents met. Okay. That'd be interesting. Sure. Kind of. So 20 years.

And another thing you may know from listening to the show is we have had the same dining set for plates. Plates. Yeah. But everything. We bought the plates and the bowls and the sauces and the cups all at once. Now, we've had the same dining set since I think we got it when we moved into our first house in 2010. Yeah. That's 14 years.

And you may have heard that they are quite chipped. Oh, they're quite chipped. They are quite chipped. I think the last time we went around, Hayley and I just pointed at the plate. And we try not to make a scene because your wife was quite sensitive to it. You try not to make a scene. You make a big song and dance about it every single time. And that subtle pointing at the chip was very much like a...

Pointing at the chip. They're like a... Pointing at the chip. They're just quite chipped. They were quite chipped. How do you chip all the plates? I never chip plates. I don't know. How do you chip the plates? Are you...

Stone benchtop? Are you ramming them in the dishwasher? Some dishwasher ramming? Yeah, I don't know. Are we playing rough? So it's been on my mind for a little while, and I think I mentioned to you guys last week, and I said either for our anniversary or our wedding anniversary or this anniversary,

I was going to grab some plates. But then I came home from when we were away earlier in the week and she said, oh, I stopped at Briscoe's today to look at plates. No, Freedom Furniture to look at plates. Oh, not there. That's on the upper end. That's on the upper end. I automatically saw a dollar sign. So I was like, we've was like, we've got to move this along, baby. Okay. So I was like, perfect time for a gift. Yeah. Yesterday I went on the way home to the warehouse.

Okay. Where everyone gets a bargain. But she's been in at Freedom. Yeah. Looking at the box. She's got her mindset on something. She didn't buy anything. She's waiting for it to be on special.

Yeah. The snooze you lose. Oh, wow. So I went in and there was some in like boxes. I was like, that's handy. But then I do have a question why the ones you can buy single are different to the ones in the boxes. I understand selling single versions of ones that are in the box

because if you break one, you're like, I need another one, you buy it. But then there's a whole lot of really cool ones that aren't in set. So I had to like stack all the plates in the trolley and wheel it and it's like and I'm like I'm just going to chip these before I even get them home and then I'm going to have my new plates chipped.

You're buying a bowl and plate set individually. Individually, no box. This is wild. As bad as it is going through the store, that's smooth concrete, I get it onto the cobblestones and the whole, everything's like. So I buy eight new dinner plates, eight new sauces,

eight new bowls, eight new coffee cups. Wow. Okay. So I'm like, this is a whole set. What a great gift. Yeah. It's taken it because she's indecisive about it as well. Yeah.

Okay. Part two of the gift. Yep. I looked up the price of getting a dozen red roses. Yep. And then I found out that the Lego set where you build a dozen red roses that last forever, $5 more expensive.

No, you didn't do that. So I bought her. I went and bought her a whole new set. You like Lego, not her. But something we can do together. It's a very me gift. And we make the roses and the roses last forever. And then you say something like,

at a last ever, like our love. And then one day if it all falls to bits, I guess we just have to stomp the Lego to pieces. Yeah. So I get home and she arrives home and I have wrapped one plate and the Lego roses. She arrives home. She went into freedom to see if there was a sale on again.

Yeah. Because she's got her eyes on this amazing dinner plate set. Yeah. Yeah. And I get her to sit down. Yeah. And I give her one wrapped plate and the box of Lego. Yeah.

She's like, oh, what are these? What are these? What are these? And shakes it and kind of hears Lego. And immediately I see this look on her face of like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Great. Opens it, she's like, oh, my, yay. That's nice.

Oh, she hates it. She hates it. She can't say anything, though. She didn't get me anything. Oh, she didn't. It's a trap, baby. It's a trap. We've got ourselves a classic trap. Normally the other way around, isn't it?

I know. And I see why women are doing it all the time. It feels great. It feels great. You want them to say something. You're like, you're almost daring them to say something. I dare you to sound ungrateful on this day that I'm celebrating our love. And then she

unwraps the plate and she's like ha ha ha ha. First thing she did, flips it over, sees living income on there, and all of a sudden she's like, ah, great. She checked the brand. Before she made her final judgment, she checked the brand. Now, if that had said, I don't know, what's a posh?

I don't even know what a posh dinner plate brand is. I don't know. Everyone knows Living & Co. Is it Living & Co? That's the warehouse? Yep. Yeah. And what's it?

And Anko's the Kmart one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But all made in the same place. So here's the Yep. Yeah. And what's it? Anko is the Kmart one. Yeah, yeah. But all made in the same place. So here's the proof. Okay. Because he's not only set up a trap, he's done a backup trap. Yep. When I was looking for the matching cups, as I said, they were all loose.

Yep. I was looking through and I was like, yeah, that's the same. And as I just picked it up, I managed to look at the bottom and it had another Flash brand stamp on it. Exactly the same cup. Oh, it. Exactly the same cup. Exactly the same design. But it had French

bullshit. That's what it had on the bottom. It's exactly the same as the Living & Co cup. Exactly the same. So when she gets a bit... She forgets her humble Hamilton roots Yeah You know

Yeah Her father's living next door Literally making fish finger soup for himself for dinner Occasionally I feel I need to march her over there And be like it's not all champagne and caviar Remember where you came from He could afford meat A meat

An actual meat He could but he doesn't But he doesn't Doesn't want to So I've got this thing now. I have proof that it's made in the same place. All that's different is the stamp on the bottom. I saved us money.

She got a gift and she dare not be ungrateful because it makes her look like a bitch. It's a win-win for me. It's a win-win for me. Yeah, but are you going to tell everybody the one problem with the plates? Oh, they don't fit in the dishwasher because I didn't measure them. Play ZM's Flesh, One and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's band week at Fact of the Day. I was saving this one. I thought Hayley might be back because I thought she'd get a real kick out of this. Aw. But she's dead. She's dead.

She's never going to be back. And it's time we moved on and accepted it. I mean, she's just got a cold, but yeah. It's a bad one, though. Yeah. It's a bad one, though. Well, the we go to Turkmenistan. Oh.

You ever been? No. No, Ever been? No. No, not many people have. Is that the one that David Farrier went to on that dark tourist? That was Asgir Bajajan. Yeah, that was it. With all the statues and the big hole in the ground. Yeah, fascinating area. Looks amazing.

Well, this is about, he's passed away. He passed away in 2006. Who has? The leader of Turkmenistan. Right has? The leader of Turkmenistan, the first president of Turkmenistan, Sipamurat Niyazov. He's a man that loved to ban. I actually found this myself.

This has got big Anthony written all over it. You know Anthony, he'll do it like a full deep dive into something and send me like a miniature essay on it. But this is just me. Okay. I did this. This is a list of the stuff that he banned in Turkmenistan during his rule. In 2005, he this is just me. Okay. I did this. This is a list of the stuff that he banned in Turkmenistan during his rule.

In 2005, he banned lip syncing. You know what? Good for him. As well as sound recordings at musical performances on state holidays and broadcasts on their television, all cultural events organised by the state, in places of mass assembly and at weddings

and celebration organised in the public, citing a negative effect on the development of musical arts incurred by the use of recorded music or people not singing live. He took things very seriously. He also banned dogs from the capital because of their unappealing odour and banned citizens from owning more than one cat or dog. I thought it was silly. Unnecessary. It's like you're like me. You can say like your grumpy uncle, but then it's like, I do that.

No, you don't need more than that. There's a man who has more than that. And certainly it's like, we don't need this many. He also banned right-hand imported cars, converted to left-hand drive, because that was considered dangerous. Yeah. He said, no, I don't like that. He also abolished the word for bread.

He said, you're not allowed to call it bread anymore. You have to call it Gurbansultan, which was his mother's name, because he said she was the most nourishing thing he knew. Okay. So he banned that. Was this guy a dictator? Yep. Yeah.

Yep. He, after trying to quit smoking in 1997 due to heart surgery and having trouble doing it because he kept seeing other people smoking, he banned smoking in all proper places. Imagine if you just, yeah, you were the dictator and to sort out your addiction. You just ban it. You ban everything. Yeah.

Chewing tobacco was later banned as well, as he said, even the smell reminded him of smoking. He outlawed opera, ballet, circuses, and philharmonic orchestras in 2001 for being too decidedly un-Turkmenistan-like. Okay. In 2004, he said men in Angola are allowed long hair or beds because of association with terrorism. Was that when the man bun or terrorism bugger?

Terrorism. Was that big when the man bun was a thing? Yeah, well, probably a little bit later for the man bun. Okay. But he probably, he would have banned man buns, but he was dead by the time the man bun really... Took off. Took off.

In 2005, he ordered closure of all the hospitals outside the capital, stating that sick people should go to the capital for treatment, and he just wanted the best doctors to be where he lived. Wild. And then he soon after ordered all the closure of libraries outside the capital, stating that the reason that ordinary Turkmen, they didn't read anyway, so why do you need libraries? It's a waste of money and resources if they want to read move to the big

city. He also banned the reporting and or even mentioning of contagious diseases such at the time they had a problem with HIV and cholera but you weren't allowed to mention it. He banned news reporters and presenters from wearing makeup on television. He felt presenters should appear

more natural on screen and that he also said it was difficult to distinguish male anchors from female anchors when they were wearing too much makeup. This guy sounds wild. He banned car radios because he considered them useless and the car should be a time for talking

to the other people you're in the car with or if you're by yourself thinking. Okay. Gold teeth were also banned. He said that it showed, it really highlighted bad tooth health and he said he didn't want that to be a problem. You should strengthen your teeth by chewing on a dog. Quote, I watched young dogs when I was young.

They were given bones to nor on to strengthen their teeth. Those of you whose teeth have fallen out did obviously not chew enough bones. Okay. In 2005, he ordered the doctors swore an oath to him and banned the Hippocratic Oath that doctors had to say. Yeah. And in 2005, the last decree before he passed away in 2006, he banned video games because they were too violent for young Turkmens.

In the same month, he ordered the country's oil minister to learn English. In just six months, we'll be fired. The dude had a lot going on. He had, yeah. And what happened after he died? Was everyone like, thank God. I don't know who was next. Who succeeded him?

Succeeded by, that's a mouthful, Gurbangully Birdmuharabimdao. You nailed that. Thank you very much. You did really well there. Thank you very much. Yeah. Turkmenistan, amazing. Now I'm going to go, I think my hyper-focus for the rest of the day,

and maybe the weekend, will be Turkmenistan. Yeah, do it. And the history of it and where they're at now. So today's fact of the day is the first president of Turkmenistan, before his death in 2006, just banned pretty much everything. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day, day. Well, we want to know this morning for the impossible phone-in topic,

have you ever had your identity stolen? And turns out, not impossible. What did they do with it? In this day of financial e-crime. Some text messages and some crazy stories on the phones as well. Yeah. It's definitely happening out there. I mean, and is there really anything you can do about it?

Because when people's identities are being stolen, it's because some company's database has been breached. Yeah, and does their insurance... I don't know anything about it. Does their insurance cover that? Someone said, yes, I have my identity stolen. A fake license was issued. They committed fraud, changed bank account names and addresses.

The worst. Oh, just imagine all the life admin you have to go through as well. Anonymous, you had your identity stolen. Yes, I did. And how bad was it? It was pretty bad. So my passport got stolen, and then they signed up for a power internet bundle

with a power company that I just happened to be working at at the time. Right. And they had, so that I just happened to be working at at the time. Right. And they had, so that was actually going to go through. You guys were just saying something about insurance, I heard. Yep. And, like, this was under $1,000, so apparently they don't take it any further. Like, if I didn't figure it out, I don't know what would have happened. But, yeah, there was an apartment in my name at the Mount.

Oh, wow. What? An apartment? Yeah. And then, like, you were renting it or buying, there was an apartment in my name at the Mount. Oh, wow. An apartment? Yeah. And then like you were renting it or the power was going there? Yeah, like they used my name to rent it. But that's not smart because they're living there. They're getting the power there.

Yeah, so they ended up getting kicked out. Like I ended up finding out who it was and everything like that. It was quite a scandal. Did the police do anything? Wait a minute. What do you mean it was quite the scandal? Well, like just finding out who it was and everything that that. It was quite a scandal. Did the police do anything? Wait a minute, what do you mean it was quite the scandal? Well, like, just finding out who it was and everything that they did.

Like, I had a couple of different addresses and I've lived at the same place for quite some time. Yeah. Heaps of credit card applications, after pays, lay-by. Oh, my God. All of those apps were, like, really easy to pretend to be someone else, apparently.

Oh, my God, that's horrible. And so you had to are, like, really easy to pretend to be someone else, apparently. Oh, my God, that's horrible. And so you had to just, obviously, just go through this rigmarole and all this life admin and cancel everything. Yeah, and it's so much life admin. It's, like, hectic. And you've kind of got to prove, like, I'm lucky that I reported my passport missing. Yeah. Or stolen.

Because if I didn't, I'm not sure that I would have been as, it wouldn't have been as easy for me to, like, prove that it wasn't me. You kind of have to prove that you are you. Oh, my God, that's so scary. Anonymous, thank you so much for sharing. Rachel, you had your identity stolen as well. I did, yep.

So some person obtained a copy of my license somehow and made a frank one with her Fido in it. So when she used that, she jumped into, I've got a store credit card. So the first thing she did was went into a shop and increased my credit limit, spent about $9,000 in one transaction. Oh my God.

And she sort of carried on to change my address to her one in Auckland with IRD, with like banks, different banks that I'd been, you know, a part of in the past. Oh my God! She also rung the police and changed my address to her

address in Auckland. What? Oh my God! And what happened to her? Did they catch her? Yes, her address in Auckland. What? Oh, my God. And what happened to her? Did they catch her? Yes, she's in jail. She's having a wee holiday. Why did she... She's having a wee holiday.

Right. Why did she change from her identity? Did she have bad credit rating or was she wanted by the police already or what? I'm not too sure. She just, yeah, somehow got a copy of my licence or my licence details. And that's the thing.

And had a fake one. Yeah, that's the thing. There's nothing you can do about that because, you know, someone's been lax with your licence. Because, you know, these places will take copies. You rent a car, they take a copy of your licence. Maybe you check into a hotel. Yeah.

Oh, that's horrible. Yeah, she even used that fake driver's licence to steal a car. To steal a car? How long has she... I didn used that fake driver's license to steal a car. To steal a car? How long has she... I didn't know you needed a license to steal a car. How long has she... Well, sorry, not to steal a car. To use, like, obviously a car for sale on Marketplace.

Right. And gave them those, my idea. How long is she holidaying in prison for? I'm not too sure, but hopefully a while. Yeah, yeah. And did they sentence her as your name or her name? Hopefully her name. Her name, yeah, nice.

Rachel, thank you. Isabel, so many, this is insane. Yeah. These stories, God, it just really puts you off, I don't know, having any kind of online presence or giving anyone your ID. Isabel, you had your identity stolen. How much did they rack up?

So I don't feel so bad after hearing these other stories, but I worked with a girl who stole my passport and racked up two iPhones with Vodafone. It was about $5,000. Oh, my God. But did she even look like you? No, I think she just used it online. Oh, yep, okay.

And she used her address in her own email address, I found out. Idiot. And I didn't know for years. I did a free online credit check and was like, hold on, I've never had an account with Vodafone. And it was a nightmare to sort out. They wouldn't give out any information because they were like, that's a privacy breach.

And I was like, but it's me. It's my privacy breach. It's was like, but it's me. It's my privacy breach. It's my privacy. Privacy breach. So, yeah, it took months to be able to even make a police report and everything. But eventually, eventually, Vodafone wiped it and I got an email from their fraud team. And the funny thing is I worked out who it was and her cousin had a baby with my cousin. I like the gas

in the background. The gas in the background. The Swiss was like, I didn't say anything about it. I didn't press charges or anything and now I'm like,

oh, if I ever see her. Oh my God. Have we done Caller of the Week this week? Have we done Caller of the Week?

Let's finish it off. The last Caller of the Week is about, we're going to hook you a $50 McCafe voucher. Thanks to our friends at McCafe. Amazing. McCafe is my dream coffee. There you go. Well, there you go. That's a KPI

tick. Thank you very much. You just did a KPI tick there. It's fantastic. Also, the gasp in the background was a winner for me. This happened to me as well, Isabel. Like, I was getting all of this money spent on my credit card and it was like, I'm not spending this money. It's thousands and thousands of dollars. Turned out I was getting all of this money spent on my credit card and it was like, I'm not spending this money. It's thousands and thousands

of dollars. Turned out I was married to her. Hey! Jesus. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. We want to know when someone stole your identity. That's what we're talking about now. So many messages in. We thought we'd already ended

this, but they're still coming in. Freaks you out, doesn't it? Had someone take my photos and use it for a Tinder account and a Snapchat account. Never found out who it was, but they messaged

multiple girls as I was constantly getting messages asking if it was me or not. Sounds like someone got busted. Did they? One of my mates said,

someone saw that. I'd be like, come on now. Go on now. You've been a dirty dog. Someone being a dirty dog. We've been a dirty, someone being a dirty dog. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We've got a dirty dog on our hands.

My sister used to use my name when she would drive with no license. Oh my God. I would kill my brother if he did that. Yeah. Quite a few people did, have reported stories of that sort of identity theft.

Yeah. This is a cool one. My granddad disappeared. Turned out he'd stolen a dead man's identity. He lived in the UK and claimed the man's pension until he died. We found out when Interpol showed up at our house. It was like an old school identity theft situation. That happened a lot in the war.

It's the whole thing of mad men, right? Remember Don Draper? He wasn't Don Draper. He met Don Draper at the Korean War and then Don Draper died and he just came back and assumed his identity. Yeah. And it also happened in The Simpsons.

Did it? Okay. It happened in The Simpsons before it happened in Mad Men. Right. Principal Skinner assumed another Skinner's identity. Yeah. Remember?

And then the real Skinner came back and then they ended up catapulting him out of town and said, let us never speak about this again. Which apparently they've just addressed on the season finale of The Simpsons this season. Okay. Which is good. Good callback.

Tell people not to put so much of their personal shit online. Yeah. Someone's uncle's just messaged in the show. With a bit of pep in his step. Someone got my partner's detail and used that with the police, stating that they'd left their license at home. Police didn't validate and it wasn't until we got a letter advising that he would get his licence suspended

due to demerits that we realised someone had been using his details. Oh no. Spent weeks back and forth with the police providing evidence he could not have been where he was when he got issued the fine to get it reversed. Don't know who the fines went to or if they were ever even paid.

Yeah. Yeah. Wild. But you'd think the police would be able to pull up your licence photo when they pulled you over if you said you didn't have one. Yeah. Maybe it was early days where they couldn't pull up the photo. They had the photo. Because there was a time, right, where they had the photo licences

but they couldn't readily access it in the police car. Probably like early days of the internet. I counted 79 all rights today. Fletcher, but that's a new personal record. And in the police car. Probably like early days of the internet. I counted 79 all rights today. Fletch, I believe that's a new personal record. Oh, f*** off. How many of those did you count? Oh, yeah. 79 of those, too.

All right. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rate and review. Oh, f*** off. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.