ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 12th March, 2025

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod Power pee-er Top 6 from our prime minister Harry Potters what??? SLP - letting a late person cut infront of you King Charles playlist MAFS sex life story Shannon's hack Teen hangout spot Hayley's hack 5 years since the pandemic Hayley's nudes might get leaked  Fact of the day Unrealistic red flags See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network, this is Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley's Big Pod. Thanks to Animates, making happy happen for pets. ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thanks Bryn, good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Thanks Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Two minutes past six. One of us was up until the wee small hours. Hi guys. After a concert. I've actually pulled up alright. Yeah, you have. Yeah. You've just made a couple of toasties.

Well, I prepped. Yep. I anticipated a much dustier vibe and I made cheese toasties in preparation for today. I'm excited to eat them. I got home at one. I don't think that was too bad. It's pretty good from you. Yeah, not bad for me.

Those toasties smell good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ed Vaughan picked me up this morning, so I didn't drive, so. Great. I feel I'm on top of the world. Yeah. Shout out to all our Slipknot listeners.

Lovely to see you last night. God, yeah, I saw a lot of Slipknot listeners. Lovely to see you last night. God, yeah, I saw a lot of Slipknotters around the city yesterday. Oh, my God. It was a sea of black, black T-shirts. It went from all the cowboys at the weekend. I know. For Chris Stapleton. Yeah.

And to Bogan Slipknot fans who don't know about walking on a bike lane. I will say that, but anyway, that's for another one. No respect for cyclists. Yeah, no respect for the bike lanes. Wow. Respect the bike lanes, guys. No, great concert, but anyway, that's for another one. No respect for cyclists. No respect for the bike lanes. Wow. Respect the bike lanes, guys. No, great concert, but yeah, I feel good today. Bounce back, you're here.

Bounce back, I'm here. Ready for the show. We've got Secret Sound coming up at seven. Thanks to Superlocal. Listen out for that activated call through. Just got a guess of sound. Win the cash. It's $50,000.

I mean, it's easy. Hello. I thought I had it. I thought I had it. I thought I had it. Well, a lot of people think they have it. Like, they've got their guess, and it all comes undone. We're at that point where people are getting quite obsessed with it. Yeah.

So, 7 o'clock, your next Activator. The top six is coming up. Yeah, Christopher Luxton. Luxton. Luxton. Christopher Luxton. Christopher. Christopher has called the Wellington City Council lame-o.

Lame-o? Lame-o. Wow. Lame-o. And it was a timely reminder that before he was Prime Minister, he was a devout evangelistic Christian. So that's like say, us calling them MFers or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is how Liz gets. Lame-o's right

up there in the dictionary of swear words for full-noise Christians. Oh, God, yeah. It's basically the C word. Or they certainly wouldn't say God, yeah, because that would be blasphemy. I beg your pardon. I beg your pardon. Heck yes. Oh, heck strong. I'm going to ask you to tone that down a little bit, please.

I've got the top six powerful insults from our evangelical Christian prime minister. The ones that he could use next to describe people. Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. I can't believe we're talking about this. I've been told off about it before by our very own friend Morgan Penn

who is a sexologist and tells me off for this all the time. What now? What's she telling you? So when I got my yawning mapping with Morgan Penn

which is when she maps the pleasure and pain of your yawning. Yep. Before she did it, I was like, I need to pee. And she goes, okay, that's fine. There's a bathroom there. And I went, okay, in, back.

You do pee super quick. Sometimes you beat me out of the toilet. Yeah. Which is amazing because you need to sit down. I sit down, I cubicle, I pull the whole pants down. I lock the door. Yeah, I know. And I'll come out and be like, what are you guys taking so long for?

I'm a power pee-er. And apparently, not apparently because I know this. I thought you were skipping washing your hands. I know. And sometimes I show you that they're wet. They're wet, yeah, by rubbing them on my face. That's how quick you are. I'm so quick.

So it's called power peeing and it's no good for you. It's no good for you It's no good for you It like It can weaken your bladder control If you're What I do Which I've been told I'm poor Is bearing down So as you were to poop

If you were to push out a poop I know exactly I do it as a male I get it going You just give a little So it's when you like, when you squeeze. Push your pelvic floor down.

You squeeze it out. Yep. They're calling it power peeing. Very bad for you. you've got to take your time. I think I take my time. You've got to take your time. So a pelvic floor expert

who would like help people who have like had a baby or who have had an injury or whatever when it gets a bit weaker. Yep. Do not power pee. That's the message. You've got to take your time. Help people who have had a baby or who have had an injury or whatever when it gets a bit weaker. Yeah. Do not power pee. That's the message.

You've got to take your time. You've got to sit or stand and... Just breathe. Well, you've got to take your own advice here. I know, but I don't have time. I'm in too much of a hurry. But apparently it can cause long- term issues with your pelvic floor control. So when you're getting older, which already as a woman is an issue, you can have a bit of incontinence because you have kind of worn out the muscle.

So I know I do this because I go like this. I don't have time. Like this. But a lot of people are doing it and not knowing and so a pelvic floor expert was like if you are like curious about

whether or not you're power paying just put your hands on your bladder area basically and you'll feel your core engage so don't engage

your core don't engage your core you should be sitting there relaxed and letting it trickle as opposed to if you go like this

sit down if you just like this, sit down. If you just give a little push, I feel my abs go. I mean, I do have a ripped eight pack. So it's easier for me to feel the abs. I like to engage core at any opportunity. I'll engage the core. I engage the core. That's why it's so jagged and hard.

And ripped. Yeah, that's why you're so ripped. Lean, lean, lean, lean. But even if you don't have an eight pack like me, you can feel your stomach go, it's like a little push like that. We shouldn't be doing it. Rushing urination.

Just relax. Just relax. I like that we started the show with a PSA about how we're literally a PSA. Well people will be getting up, getting out of bed. You know, the clock radio's just gone off. Relax.

No, it's playing the radio. The clock radio's just wake you up with the radio. No, you can choose alarm or radio. There was a little switch. It's crazy. Alarm, radio. But you never have one. No. We had an alarm clock thing that went,

and you had to hit it and it was like, bing. It's 7.45am. Wow. Rich people, eh? That's how rich people live. So nice. Wow. Lovely growing up.

The top six is next. The top six. Full noise. Christian insults that the Prime Minister could use next. He's called Lamo. He called the Wellington City Council Lamo. Lamo. Lamo.

Do you think when it came out, everyone around it was like, oh. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. The Prime Minister, Christopher Luxton, has called the Wellington City Council lame-o that they didn't put a plan before the government's deadline. That's, wow, that's insulting. Yeah.

It's been a number of years since I've heard a lame-o. A lame-o, that's so lame-o. Oh my God, lame-o. Yeah. He's already down in the polls. Stop talking. Yeah, don so lame-o. Oh, my God, lame-o? Yeah. He's already down in the polls. Stop talking. Yeah, don't lame-o. They had time to put some regional plan and everything,

and they said Wellington region didn't put forward a city or a regional deal. It's pretty lame-o is my view on it. That's what he said. Lame-o. Lame-o. And it is at this time and other times when you watch him that you need to remind yourself this is a heavily religious man who's trying to quash his religiousness to try to come across a little more bipartisan and appealing to a majority atheist nation. Because when he was at New Zealand he got rid of the boobs on the safety video, didn't he?

The swimsuit illustrated safety video. Lamo. Which was Lamo. He said that's lame-o Made the flights lame-o Not getting to see boobies Yeah So I've got the top six insults

We can expect next From our evangelical Christian Prime Minister Okay Number six He's going to call The Christchurch City Council A bunch of tossers

Tossers Are we allowed to say These swear words on here I honestly can't imagine Him even saying that You bloody tosser. My mum loves it. That guy's a tosser. Oh my god, I love that. It's a real 90s

parent insult. Real, real, real. It's quite hurtful, but it's gentle. The toxic insults from our evangelical Christian Prime Minister are number five on the list. He'll call the Dunedin City Council a bunch of eggs. Eggs!

Oh, eggs. Oh, are you egg? Yeah. Stop being an egg. Number four on the list are the top six insults from our Christian Prime Minister. He will call the Wairarapa District Council a bunch of dipsticks. Dipsticks.

Dipsticks. That's another pair of insults, isn't it? Skathing. Yeah, that hurts. I really want to's another pair of insults, isn't it? Skathing. Skathing. Yeah, that hurts. I really want to know the origin of dipstick as an insult. Was it the oil thing? Is it oil or was it from some sort of previous dipstick? Oh, yeah, because the oil thing is a dipstick.

It is, but oil dipsticks are only invented within the last hundred years, right? Yeah, it feels like it's got a ye olde time. Dipstick, like they would dip in somewhere else. Okay, dip shit. Oh, okay, that's not right. Dipstick came after dip shit. Like there's a softening of dip shit, similar to darn, but in a softened version of damn,

inspired by the actual stick that you dip into a crankcase to check the oil levels. Okay, so that is the origin. Good for nothing apart from dipping in a... I do love darn. You know me, I say darn. Gosh I do love darn. You know me. Gosh darn. Gosh darn.

Gosh darn it. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six insults from our evangelical Christian prime minister, he'll call the Hamilton City Council a bunch of plonkers. I don't think we can say that on air, Vaughan. I'm so sorry if I've insulted anybody. You're a plonker. We're going to get complaints.

Again, haven't heard that for so long. I know, it's good, eh? There's always going to be a bloody in front of it. Bloody anybody. You're a plonker. We're going to get complaints. Again, haven't heard that for so long. I know, it's good, eh? There's always going to be a bloody in front of it. Bloody plonkers. Bloody plonkers. Number two on the list are the top six insults for regional councils from our Christian Prime Minister. He will call the Nelson City Council a bunch of muppets. Oh, wow.

Muppets a good one. Yeah. Muppets a good one. And number one on the list are the top six insults from our evangelical Christian prime minister when he really gets raging. Yep. He's going to call the Auckland City Council a bunch of turkeys. Oh, God.

Look at these turkeys. Apologies for these awful slaps. I will say I have said six very hard insults and I apologise for them all. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. White Lotus Season 3

is currently playing week to week, week drop. I know, neon. It's on neon. It's on neon. I was behind but I caught up yesterday

and... I think it's at that stage in the series and no spoilers that... Because I wanted to just watch it's at that stage in the series and no spoilers that because i wanted to just watch it all at once and wait but i'm doing that it's i think it's impossible because because we go on the internet every day for work yeah it's yeah and i started seeing i started seeing some memes and some stuff pop up and i was like i've got to be watching on the day it's

it drops yeah yeah because already it's getting getting like, it's a good season. Yeah. I saw an article yesterday that was like, who's going to die? And it was like running through all the characters being like, someone's going to die. And that's not a spoiler because at the start of every episode, someone dies. Someone dies. You just don't know. Start of every series.

Season. Sorry. Yeah. You just don't know who. Yeah. Totally. So Jason Isaacs is in the cast. Most well known as Lucius Malfoy from the Harry Potter movies.

Indeed. No, I never watched Harry Potter. He's a fantastic actor. He's brilliant, hey? He's been in heaps of things. He's like intolerable. His character is fantastic in the show. Every character on White Lotus is intolerable.

That's what makes it such a great show. Yeah. So he plays like a, he's the father of a family that's all there. Yeah. And as part of being at this White Lotus retreat, which this year is in Thailand, they all give up their phones, but he won't because he's got secret things happening. So he's glued to the phone.

However, the phone was not the issue with the latest episode which you mentioned yesterday fletch being like oh my god like we were not prepared the internet was not prepared because during one scene he kind of like lent back he's wearing a robe yep spread his legs and we saw full hog and hound oh really yeah yeah yeah the full hog and hound. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The full... No, meat and veg. Do you think that was a prosthetic... We talked about this. I would like to know, yeah, if it was a stunt. Stunt penis.

Because it was Eddie's soldier. Was his whole face and penis in the same picture? Yeah. Or did it scan up? No, yeah, not a body double. No, okay, so there was no cut point between them. Fletcher's frantically googling. I'm just googling. Someone said

why did I just see Lucius Malfoy's full bush and flaccid penis? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And people are appalled. People are kind of like shocked. Not so much, he's acting and it's his wang sure, but let's not forget he tried to kill Harry Potter

and no one so much as, you know, raised the night. He was mean to Dobby the house elf. I don't know. I've never watched the films. For many years. I never watched. I think I've watched one of them maybe once. Right.

Yeah. But Harry Potter fans are like, this was my childhood thing watching these films. I don't need to see Lucius's. Yeah. Well, do you remember season two, Theo James? That was a prosthetic. That was a prosthetic.

Because it was a whopper. I reckon Theo James would be packing long. Yeah, but to the point where probably he was like, he's got an energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He might have just had a light prosthesis. A slip cover. A slip cover. A condom of sorts. A light prosthesis. A slip cover. A slip cover.

A condom of sorts. A light prosthesis. Yeah. But. Yeah, the internet is upset. I just saw Draco Malfoy's dad's dick. What the heck? I love that people are just like.

Can't see him as anything else. Hashtag white loader. Seeing Lucius Malfoy's penis was not on my 2025 bingo card. How old is he? Is he keeping it tight? Yeah, he's very handsome. I think so, and he's got a great voice. Yeah. Just that beautiful deep voice. Jason Isaac's

age. So he's 61. He's 61 years old. Bravo, you know. Wow. So he was my age when he was done playing that character, almost done on that. Stop doing this. Why do you keep doing this?

He would have been Goblet of Fire. Harry Potter wasn't 20 years ago. Dude. No, because I read it as a kid and I'm only 25. I think you need to put your sunglasses back on and eat the rest of your hungover cheese toast. I think you'll find it was only 10 years ago. Play Zidim's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole. How silly is the pole? Very.

How little is the pole? Also very. Silly little pole. Would you let someone skip the airport security line because they're going to miss their flight? 67% of people said yes, and I would too. I'd just be like, eh, go ahead. You know, sometimes they're like, anybody on the flight to Christchurch? Anybody on the flight to Christchurch?

And someone in the back is like, yes, yes, I'm so sorry, yes. It might have been a delayed international transfer, guys. I'm very forgiving in these situations. I've definitely done that. But sometimes you just see these people that you know have tuned up to the airport one minute ago. Yeah, you haven't put in any effort yeah my favorite is when i see people uh pulling up to the airport security

with their big suitcase i'm like you're gonna get turned around yeah what are you doing you gotta check this out yeah is that your first time at an airport yeah welcome this uh comes off the back of a reddit post somebody posted that they were really sorry, they felt bad that they didn't stick up for a woman that had cut in the line because she was late. And people kind of were, I guess, having a go at her. Being like, it's her fault. It's her fault, yeah. Oh, no.

If we can help in some way. This Reddit post, it was like, I feel bad for not sticking up for you. And then that person got laid into by Reddit, who's like, well, just, this should have been at the airport earlier. Oh. So you can't win online. Have you done it? I've done it. Maybe once

I think when I've had to go like, excuse me. I've definitely been in lines where it's tight and not because of my fault. Definitely like when I've flown Jetstar because they've got that zero time. They're not waiting at the gate for you. Do you know what I mean? They're shutting the door. Well, Sheldon said, yes, of course, a few moments delay won't affect me,

but it could ruin their day. I had a connecting flight wait on passengers from a delayed flight. Others were waiting at the back, stressing. I got there, just went around the ropes. The others followed. This was Christchurch. I probably wouldn't try it overseas, though. I'd only try it in New Zealand.

But, yeah, you just go around the ropes. I mean, I don't love when you're all sat down on the plane and someone comes in late and you're like... And they're holding a coffee. Yeah, you've got a coffee or you've had a glass of wine. You had time to get a coffee but just not turn up to the airport early. Interesting. What's worse in your mind,

someone turning up with a hot coffee or a cold coffee? Like an iced coffee. For some reason, iced coffee seems so much more relaxed that you're like... Even though it probably takes the exact same amount of time. Yeah. If someone turns up with an iced coffee. For some reason, iced coffee seems so much more relaxed that you're like... Even though it probably takes the exact same amount of time. If someone turns up with an iced coffee, they just look like, hi, and they look all relaxed and... I don't know. I'm just popped this in my head.

Your poor planning doesn't constitute a problem for me, said Sam. Sam. Sam. CN says it would completely depend on how stressed they looked. Yeah, okay. If they looked stressed, they'd be like, get on through. But if they were like, oh, can I skip? No.

Be on time for your flight, says Tegan. Tegan, they're trying. No. Some people are like you, Vaughn. Never in a rush. Yes, said Gemma. Let's face it. I'm there three hours before I need to be,

so I've got time to let people get through. Erica, in my head, no. But I feel like you never really get the choice. One person lets them through and then you look like the bad person if you're like, no. Yeah, once the first one goes, it's hard to be the person that stops the person coming through the line. Yeah.

Phoebe said, the amount of time I have had to be that person that's actually about to miss the flight, I would absolutely let someone else come through. Yeah, if you're a chronic late person, you're like, well, it's only fair that I let other people in. Anonymous please. I work airport security and absolutely not. Everyone has had the same amount of time to get there. It's not my fault you were late. Maybe

plan a little bit better next time. Airport security not taking into account the delayed international transfer. And that's just, that happens. Or trouble at baggage. Yeah, they'll put on another get you on another flight. That sounds like something someone who wasn't going to miss their flight would say. Oh, so Tanya's calling their bluff.

Tanya doesn't believe that it's happening. And Clementine, what a lovely, I've always loved that name. Oh, my darling. Yeah, because of that Huckleberry Finley. Oh, my darling. Let someone through once. An old mate boomer was panicking about missing his flight and skipped several rows ahead.

Turns out we're on the same flight and he had to wait in line to board. What a bloody drongo. Drongo. There's a Christopher Luxon and sort of I've ever heard one. That's a great one. Drongo. Drongo.

Play ZM's Flesh One and Hayley. So King Charles has released a curated playlist apparently of his favourite songs on Apple Music. Oh, of course. Yes, and... I'm quite surprised by the amount of, I will say it, brown people. Good King Charles. Right.

Do you like my King Charles? I really like your King Charles. I do. I can't help but feel he has hired a young person to tick a few boxes. Because when you look at this playlist, he's basically gone around the Commonwealth and picked a whole bunch of artisan songs. We better have a Maori on there. Dame Kiri Te Kanawa is on there with E Te Iwi E, which is a very famous song.

A lot of schools had it as their school song. Yep. You're telling me King Charles is sitting down and listening to a song in Maori? That one doesn't surprise me so much. Really? Because it's Kiriti Kanawa, and she was massive. Yes.

Like, she's performed for the royals multiple times. Yeah, and it's kind of classic. It's a classic. It's more in their wheelhouse. Do you think Bob Marley and the Wailers performed for the royal family back in the day? I don't think so. So you've lined up a few of the songs, Borneen. This is on the King's Child playlist.

This is actually a banger. Yeah. I love that brown man with the dreadlocks. I don't think I like Bob Marley until I hear Bob Marley, and then I'm like, I can listen to the rest of the song. I never reach for him, but I do like his black tunes. You can just picture him being like, so there's like Indian artists on here.

As you say, he's like circled the Commonwealth. He's like, to apologise for colonising. If we stole... I'll chuck him on my playlist. If we stole their ancestors' bones from the museum,

I'll put them on my list. Now, one thing I would say is it's giving gay. We've got Kylie Minogue on here. Really? You're telling me? The locomotion. One of the gayest icons of all time.

Yeah. Kylie Minogue has long been a gay icon. Yeah. Despite not being a gay woman herself. The gays love Kylie Minogue. This was a banger. This continues to be a banger, though. Yeah.

You're telling me King Charles is jamming out? This could be Friday Flashback. I know I promised the people puddle of mud, but I feel like I could go a little Kylie Minogue. Well, you could keep it up your sleeve. I could keep the puddle of mud up my sleeve. Okay, great. But this is not one of the only gay songs on here.

He's also got Diana Ross, again, a gay icon. Great song. And again, a real like... What I love is he said... He was being interviewed about this and he mentioned this song. What did he say? When I was much younger, he says, it was absolutely impossible not to get up and dance when it was played.

Yuck, the idea of him dancing. Oh my gosh. Diana, Diana, dance with me. I'm actually a gay boy. Don't tell

anybody. Don't tell anybody. I'm the future king. I mean it. You can find the playlists, it's

everywhere where you get playlists, but you get interesting choices on here. Ray's on there. Yeah, Ray's awesome where you get playlists. But you get interesting choices on here. Ray's on there. Yeah, Ray's awesome. Beyonce's on there. Really? Yes, I love black music.

This one? This is on here. One of the wider tunes of the playlist, I'll say. Anyway, if you want to check it out, I think you just search the King's Music Room playlist. I don't know if it's going to take your party to the next level. Oh, it's got Buble, of course. Michael Buble is on there.

Yeah, it's got some Buble. Yeah. I just haven't met you yet. Also Anushka Shankar, who we know the King loves. We're definitely big fan. Big. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. I've been watching Married at First Sight, as you know.

I'm sorry. You haven't found something of a high quality to watch. No, shut up, Warren. It's such a toxic season. It was on the other day when I was doing my email for prep for the next show. And, oh, it makes my blood boil. It makes my blood, my blood pressure goes up. I hate, I just don't like, I heard it summed up really well

on the Conan O'Brien podcast this week. I don't like seeing people embarrassed, and I don't like seeing people in uncomfortable positions that they can't get out of. And that's what reality TV often is. That's what people love. That's what we love. And we've got John in soon, don't we?

I was going to say, and we have. I don't think we can, can we say? No, okay, no, we're going to wait. We are going to talk to John Aitken again because we talked to him before the season. And this is one of the most chaotic seasons ever. So we're going to touch base with John. Expert, John Aitken, friend of the show, amazing man.

We're also going to talk to my favourite member of the cast and also Shannon Carwen are we saying we're going to have an interview with our favourite member

look we'll say on Monday tune in for John on Tuesday tune in for probably I'm going to say everyone's favourite contestant yeah

yeah that's right the one thing I want to talk about now is because so what episode are you up to girlies Yeah. Yeah. That's right. The one thing I want to talk about now is, so what episode are you up to, girlies? Because you're watching Legally in New Zealand. Yeah, I'm up to Legal New Zealand. And you are too, Hayley.

Me too. Yeah, so last night's episode was the last night of retreat. The retreat is just ending and we've got a dinner party tonight. Vaughn Allen. So they go away. So you know they're all on their individual couples in their little apartments and stuff. And then they come together for the commitment ceremony

and the dinner party once a week. Once a week they have to say, yes, I'm still on board to participate. I'm staying. Or I'm leaving or whatever. But the retreat, they go away for a weekend. They went to Byron Bay. Yes. Byron Bay.

Lovely. Beautiful home. Do they have a beach left there? Or did they get untouched by the... Because we've talked about how the beach at Surfers is just gone now. Oh, my gosh. 50 kilometres of Queensland beaches is just gone. It's just like a five to 6 metre drop from the road

Yeah that's insane Well the beach looked lovely But they were at this like wedding venue kind of place Right But they all stay together And it's always chaos Because they're fighting Like the car's fighting

They're all taking judgement on each other's relationships Do any of them ever like Say go to the dinner party Eat Have two quick drinks And then just leave Like I would Sometimes but it won't make it

to air. Like you'll watch a dinner party and then you'll be like oh we didn't see Tony and Morena and then you'll be like, because they've just probably sat there going oh my god can we leave? Yeah, I just leave. I'll be like thanks Those normally aren't the kind of people they cast for the show though are they? No, no, no

There's also been a behind the scenes video that Jackie's just posted recently of what happens after the dinner party. I love it. And they get put into a concrete room and they're spaced about three metres apart and they have to sit in chairs and wait to be filmed for their confessionals. It's so... They get put in holding, yeah. So speaking of Jackie, let's talk about Jackie and Ryan because at the retreat, and this is something I want to ask you guys because you both gym frequently. Okay.

At the retreat, Jackie, who was a Kiwi, by the way, she was Miss New Zealand. She wasn't. She was like Miss New Zealand something. Some yacht competition. Yeah, Miss New Zealand. Yachting in this small region.

But boy, she hangs on to the Miss New Zealand part. You were Miss Morrinsville. No, I was Miss New Zealand Morrinsville. Oh, okay, right. Sorry. Slightly more prestige. Yeah. So Jackie mentioned, the girls, they split up, the girls and the guys.

And Jackie mentions, as she often does, she says too much, that Ryan, her husband currently, doesn't make love in the mornings or before he's gone to the gym. Right, why? Because he's saving his testosterone, right? Yeah. For his workouts. So she wakes up and she's all frisky whiskey,

like, come on, let's have a little morning delight. And he's like, not until I've expended my testosterone in the gym for my guys. Okay. Now, I heard of this with fights, like fighters, boxers. What do you hear about it every time there's an Olympics or a Commonwealth Games? And it's like, do the athletes do it and they and

they and even self-pleasure yeah none of that but i always thought the jury was out on that and some athletes are different some prefer it yeah i'm don't i don't is that a thing i don't even know it became this whole discussion is it a thing it's maybe for a high performing athlete maybe an hour or so before not a guy guy who's lifting 10kgs. You know what I mean? He's like, I can't on training days. Mate, what are you training for? Yeah, training days.

Also, it's a bit of cardio, right? But also, if a beautiful woman is saying to you like, hey, I want to have a little bit of delight, you're saying to me that you're going to go no until I've lifted, babes. What an irky. Yeah, and then he got mad that you're going to go, no until I've lifted, babes. What an irky. Yeah, and then he got mad that she aired this out to everyone. He was offended that this was a personal matter.

His testosterone is his own decision what he uses it for. That's right. And to be fair, he was being ferociously laughed at by all the other men in the team. Oh, I know. All the other guys who are all like, you know, it's maths, so they're all like Jack Jim bras themselves. They're like,

dude, shagging's number one. Shagging comes before anything else. Without a doubt. Without a doubt. It's number one in life. Yeah.

The gym comes second, brah. Anyway, God, it made me laugh. People only go to the gym so they can get the shag. Choked the goose. Is that a saying? Someone's just texting to the show So they can get the shag Choked the goose Is that a saying? Someone's just texted into the show

Gym goer here Yep Lovely to have a fellow bra Bra Good morning Good morning bra Good morning bra Gym goer here

I feel a difference if I've choked the goose Can't lift as much Choked the goose Well thank you Oh my god the end of his number is 007 Thank you 007 Oh James Bond Chokes the goose

It doesn't choke the goose No fanfare Okay No intro Her intro was revoked Yep We gave Shannon a five star hack last time It was revoked

We had to do a What's the word? A retraction and apology. A retraction and apology because her hack was causing havoc in people's lives. So the intro that we made, production, we put a huge budget into this. It's been put in the trash. It's time for another Shannon's hack. That's right.

And we did promise that if she ever got a five-star review that she would get an intro. But as you said, it's been retracted. It's been retracted. What's your hack today, Shannon? I've got a sushi hack for you today. I know you guys love it. We've got two sushi gobblers in the studio.

Is that what you call us? You're gobblers. You gobble up your sushi. We have a little break for sushi. Yeah, you love it. I've got a hack for you. So you know how when you get the little soy sauce fishy? I don't like the soy sauce fish.

Now you're talking. Welcome to the hack. It's not enough soy sauce for the whole sushi thing. And I just, it's unnecessary prices. It's just like a weird placement, right? When you kind of put it in, you're getting undistributed soy. Yeah. You've really lost confidence in that sentence.

Undistributed. You know, you've got all this undistributed. You know when you say a word, just be confident and just go with it. I think I forgot how many syllables it had. Undistributed. Yeah. My hack would be, and this is what I do when we get sushi, is instead of getting the tiny plastic sushi fish,

I just sprinkle soy sauce on and then shut the lid. From the table. Great hack. Five-star hack. Isn't that a great hack? Give the man an intro. Actually, Fletcher's hacks, Fletcher's hacks, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley's Fletcher's hacks. Although we do have a ginger sting, gingy sting.

You guys do. Zingy, ging. And he's a sting on the wasabi too, because you're not getting enough wasabi for every piece of sushi. He's a gingy sting. He's a ginger sting. Yeah. That's what we're, it's our nickname for the sushiabi too because you're not getting enough wasabi for every piece of sushi. He's a gingy stinge. He's a gingy stinge. Yeah. That's our nickname for the sushi guy next door, gingy stinge.

He's very curt with his service. Like great sushi next to us. Oh my God, great sushi. Love it, but he's very curt. Push you on the miso. Push us the miso. Have you made too much miso, bro? Yeah.

Not my fault you've got three crockpots back there full of miso, my dude. That's not on me, dude. Anyway, back to you, Shannon. Well, so Fletcher's hack works, but if you're on the go, it's a little bit less accessible, right? Yeah, the soy. So my hack for you is to head to a shop like Chemist Warehouse. I don't want to go to another shop.

I'm just at the sushi place. I'm just at the sushi place. This is just a one-time setup to get you through. Just please humour her for the hack for me. Okay, I'll listen. So you buy a little travel reusable bottle, a refillable bottle. You fill it with soy sauce next time you're out or at home. That's leaking in the handbag.

No, you've got a cat. That's leaking in the handbag. Chemist warehouse spray bottles would never leak in your handbag. That's right. Ding, ding, ding. So you keep in your handbag or in your pocket, lads, a little soy sauce, and every time you get sushi, spray it on.

Spray it on. I don't think soy sauce should be sprayed. Can we just say we apologise sincerely to our Japanese listeners. No, this isn't a cultural thing. It does feel like a cultural thing. Also, you could literally buy a tiny bottle of sushi at the supermarket. Soy sauce. Soy sauce

at the supermarket. No, you don't need to be going to a chemist and then opening that and then putting soy sauce in so you can spritz the sushi with soy. But it's the distribution. But then where does it stop? Because I'm a hot sauce guy. Through and through I'll have hot sauce over soy sauce every time. So now we have a pocket full of sauce.

You need a whole condiment handbag. I need like, what do they call those? Hip flasks. They're all my favourite condiments. A fishing vest. A fishing vest of condiments. Except we have chilli oil in another one. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Of course we do. I just think there's something so joyous about having a bite of something and every bite has the same amount of sauce. So you spritz it. Spritz. And then you can spritz to your delight. But also, the spritzing is not direct enough.

There'll be aerosol. Aerosol soy will go out and it will stain around. It might be too thick for a spritz as well. No, I've seen this. Low salt. You want to go low salt soy. Yeah. We're not going dark soy.

That's for cooking. What's that other soy that you like with the almonds? Tamari. Tamari. Isn't that a sort of a soy? I think it's a soy almond. Yeah, I've had coconut aminos. Coconut aminos?

Yeah, that's a soy alternative. Okay, some messages in. Okay. Justice for Shannon. Thank you. That's one text. Okay. We'll bring that right back with a one star.

Carry it in your pocket. Hot, says someone. Hayley's got a handbag. I'm not carrying everyone's soy sauce. What am I, the soy sauce delivery woman or a gobbler? The person who did say justice for Shannon, they sent that in before they heard the hack. They have just said never mind, that was trash.

Oh, I love this. Apparently somebody said it's already done. They sell little Japanese soy sauce spritzers at Daiso. Oh, Daiso.

Daiso. Oh, do they? So it's a stolen hack. Wow. Wait, so this is not authentic. This is stolen valor. This is like someone dressing up in a military outfit

on Anzac Day to get a little bit of praise. Stolen valor, we call that. It's exactly like that. Wow. Stolen valor. One star. One star. Born? One star. One star. One star.

Born? One star for Stolen Vela. One star for Stolen Vela. Back to the drawing board, Shannon. Yeah. No jingle yet. You stingy gingers. And good luck.

You stingy gingers. Gingers? It's gingy stingers. It's not your stingy gingers. Of course. Stingy gingers. Your stingy ginger is your mate at the bar that won't buy it around

who also happens to be a ginger. And good like drying out your leathery handbag too when it's full of soy sauce. Soy sauce. And soy sauce stinks. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Renews went around regional New Zealand asking young people

where they spend their free time like what's the hangout spots the majority McDonald's Macca's was like the big

hangout kind of spot I guess especially in small towns yeah we would go back in the day because of free refills

in the day free refills I don't remember Macca's ever having free refills BK had free refills nah they did BK was big free refill oh I don't remember Maccas ever having free refills. Yeah, they did. BK had free refills. No, they did.

Yeah, BK was big free refill. Oh, did you have to take it up to the counter and be like, free refill, please? But BK always just had the fountain and the thing, and you could just. There was one of the Wellington Maccas, the one right by the Wellington train station, they had just the taps out.

Like, burger canning, taps out. I always remember people hanging around BK Manor's Mall. Yeah. That was a popular spot. BK Manor's Mall. Yeah. That was a popular spot. I always thought BK was the- BK Manor's Mall was the goth spot. In Queen Street? BK Queen Street outside the-

Yes, emo spot. Borders, what was Borders Bookstore? Oh, wait, what was that there? Yeah, Borders and it was BK. Yeah, the BK- That was the stairs. That was an emo hangout. Some emo looking teenagers sitting on the stairs.

I was there, bro. Looking miserable and shit. And to the Metro Centre. That was me, bro. That was me. You probably walked past me and went, ooh, how filthy. Yeah the stairs. I was there, bro. Looking miserable and shit. Into the metro centre. That was me, bro. You probably walked past me and went, ooh, how filthy. Yeah, yeah. That was me. Yeah, I did.

That was me. We've met before we met. Well, I was always out there on Friday night, of course, preaching the good word of the Lord. Of course you were, yeah. And that's how I found my way to Christ. Now, they say in small towns, like a lot of teenagers, there's not that many places.

Like we grew up, well, I grew up in like a city. So you'd go to the mall. You'd go to the cinema. You'd go to the town. Yeah, we didn't. We grew up in like a city so you'd go to the mall you'd go to the cinema you'd go to the town yeah we didn't we grew up in small town new zealand so then you're like of course maccas it's a gathering spot i want to know today what was your teenage hangout spot like another one of mine this was when i was um definitely of a legal drinking age okay yeah just just for clarification okay yeah definitely at this point i was of a legal drinking age. Okay. Just for clarification. Okay, yeah. Definitely at this point,

I was of the legal drinking age and allowed to buy and drink alcohol, was we used to hang out at, we used to call it the tunnel, and it was above the terrace tunnel, like over the motorway. Why did you say we used to call it the tunnel when it was literally a tunnel?

I just put it in quotations to spice it up. We used to call it this bridge, we used to call it, and you're going to struggle to keep up with why we do, but we call it the tunnel when it was literally a tunnel? I just put it in quotations to spice it up. We used to call it this bridge. We used to call it. And you're going to struggle to keep up with why we did, but we called it the bridge. That's crazy. I can't wait to hear the backstory of that name. There was this hole and it went from one side of the mountain to the other and vehicles went through it. Oh, shut up, both of you.

We called that the tunnel. Wait, where did you... So above the tunnel, there was like this hill. Yeah. And you could access it from a certain street. And we used to go over there and then hang out over the motorway. Now, don't tell Patsy, because that's, I mean, I survived. But we used to hang out above a motorway when cars were like zhoom, zhoom, zhoom, zhoom, zhoom. That was the spot.

Oh, no, don't encourage that. And a church car park. Now, where was, when I was of illegal drinking age, where was your teenage hangout spot? That's what we want to know this morning. Okay. We always just hung out at people's houses. Yeah, because there was nothing to do in Martin's Park. There probably wasn't. Were you going to go to the gas station or

the dairy? Or you'd meet people at the gas station. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You worked there. I did work there. Yeah, but I don't remember there and I might be. Yeah, we had areas, but nobody ever hung out there. It was always just at somebody's house. Yeah. Okay, well, we want to take your calls. 0800-DARLS-IT-IN

9696 to text through. God, I hope we're here for some manners more goths. Yeah. How nice if we all just caught up. Who are all working professionals now? Mothers and fathers and have mortgages and careers. We want to know, where was your teen hangout spot?

That's the question. There was an article on Renews about where small town teenagers are hanging out because there's not many places to go. Yeah, it's mostly McDonald's. And the answer was mostly Macca's. Yeah. Because they're like, this is a good place. This is food. This is chips.

Maybe a place to charge your phone. Yeah. Wi-Fi nowadays, eh? It'll be free Wi-Fi. Yep. Oh, of course. Wi-Fi wasn't a factor when we were teenagers.

Anonymous, where did you used to hang out as a teen? Where was the teen hangout spot? We used to hang out at the local golf green.

Boucher. Wait, so it was a golf club but one specific green? Oh, yeah, just where the holes were. We used to sit around drinking around there.

Oh, God, you're a greenskeeper's nightmare. Yeah, did the golf club hate this? The neighbours used to call the cops on us occasionally. We'd get marched out, yeah. Right, okay. I mean, they're very particular with their grass. I know. But it's a lovely place to sit because it's so well...

Soft. Soft and mowed. Because the green's very short. There's just off the green. That sort of not fairway. Spongy. Yeah, nice actually. Nice place to put down.

And actually the holes where the golf balls go. Great drink holder. Perfect there. Do you know what I mean? That would just slot right in there wouldn't it? God, greenskeepers would hate you.

Yeah, yeah. It's lots of fun though. Okay. And what are we doing now, Anonymous? Where's life taken us? Because that's some of the funny ones we've had text people say what they used to do when they were a teen and hang out and now they're in a different situation.

What's life thrown at you? Oh, much more sensible these days. Yeah. Would you be the type of person now if you lived next to a golf club and there were some raucous teenagers drinking, would you knock on them, call the cops? Oh, I don't know.

Maybe not. Maybe. Let them have a bit of fun. Maybe not. She would. Until it gets to 11 o'clock and you can't sleep. I used to throw house parties all the time. I love how quick I am to call noise control.

Yeah. Exactly. Anonymous, thank you. So many messages. We hung out in an old lifeguard tower. It was called the Lighthouse.

You had to roll over a wheelie bin and then the tallest person in the group would stand on the wheelie bin and open the trap door in the bottom of the tower and then push up the person who

would have to help up the next people. It was quite the rush to get in there. What if you had to go wheeze? I'd just go off the side.

Off the side, yeah. And the girls can go back down through the hole. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Not on the ladder though.

Yeah, back it up Back it up Away you go We used to hang out at the viewing platform Outside of Auckland Airport South of the airport You know where you watch the planes Yeah

Take off and land Huh That's nice Maybe a bit of aviation autism there Awesome Yeah Aviation autism Maybe

You shake your eyes And guess what plane was coming in By the sound of the Sound of the engine. So many other ones. We used to hang out in the underground car park underneath Albany Warehouse. We'd race our cars up and down and someone would run alongside

to see if they could run as fast as the cars. We stopped doing that when someone got run over. I'm now an accountant and a mother of two. I love these messages. Every fortnight on Friday night, my cousins and I would hang out at Manners Mall and look through the record shop. Sometimes movies, then Maccas,

but it was always just a lot of loitering. Yeah. We came up with a real strong code name for the place we used to hang out at. It was called Red Bricks because the car park had red bricks on the ground. Crazy. They sound like Hayley's Tunnel.

Tunnel. Tunnel. Quote, unquote.'s tunnel. Tunnel. Tunnel. Quote, unquote. We used to hang out at tunnel. Oh my God, of course. We used to hang out at the cemetery. When I was a teenage witch, we used to do that. Try to summon spirits and such.

Yeah, yeah, just be a bit peculiar. Or people drinking in a cemetery. It's like, no, no, no. No, no, no. Drinking is disrespectful. Just casting spells. Casting spells, no, no, no. No, no, no drinking is disrespectful. Just casting spells. Casting spells and trying to summon the dead.

The creek, someone said that was, you could just, in the town where I grew up, you could say, well, hang at the creek. Everybody knew. The creek ran right through town

but everyone knew the exact spot on the creek that we'd all be hanging out on. Oh, the octagon in Dunedin filled the fountain with bubbles. Yeah. That was always a big thing. It's a classic. Oh, Central, not Central,

Canterbury. Someone just said the riverbeds. You always knew exactly where to go on the riverbed for a hangout. Rotorua's Blue Lake Lookout Car Park. That was great. They had an old steel rubbish bin. We'd light that on fire and sit around and...

You know what I mean? For the first five minutes of the They had an old steel rubbish bin. We'd light that on fire and sit around and... Oh. Yes. I mean, you know what I mean? For the first five minutes of the burn, it's going to be very rubbishy. But then afterwards, when you start putting the wood on, it's going to get nice. They just call those council braziers. Yeah, that's right.

The council brazier. Yeah, beautiful. Brazier. Not brazier. Braziers, where you put your boobies in. That's right. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah.

Now, I hope this person has grown up a bit. We used to just hot box cars and cruise around. Now, I hope you are a well-grown human being. Mount Hot Pools, cheeky handhold under the water. Peak teen years there. Oh, God, I didn't think you were going to say that. I honestly had to read it a couple of times to make sure it said handhold under the water. Time Zone New Market or anywhere with a photo booth

and we'd save up all of our money and go and hang in there and spend all of our money on a series of photos with our besties. So good. Chart will be, Kay. Teenager used to hang out spots was the ice skating rink. Oh, yeah. Used to hang out at the ice skating rink. Used to hang out a lot at computer cafes.

I mean, people just won't know. It was a bit harder to come by. Used to log in and be like, I just need to check my MySpace. I'm going to pull into this internet cafe. And Ash Burton in the 90s would literally just roam the streets because there was nowhere really good to hang out, so we're just always on the search

for a place. Well, I guess the real destination was the friends you made along the way. Here's one I think that's going to make you nervous, Vaughan, for the future. I don't want to hear it then. Hi, I'm Zoe. My hangout spot was my boyfriend's house.

He lived down the road from school, so I'd jump the gate and go home for a nap. I too, Zoe, used to visit my boyfriend for naps. Zoe, but this was in a time before you could legally insert tracking devices in the nape of your daughter's neck. No, you can't actually do that. That's actually, that's a crossing a boundary. Well, actually, we were overseas when it got done, and there it was legal and different jurisdiction.

Different jurisdiction. I can track them. Play ZM's Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. I think I look cute today. All things considered. Well, you did get home at 1am. 1am. After your concert. Bed by 1.30, up at 4. And I think I've pulled myself together quite well. Even my mum's proud.

But part of what makes me look so good is my new shirt. Arrived yesterday. I did that arrived yesterday. Yes. It's cute. It's pink. It's oversized. It's like an oversized man's business shirt.

Like I had a wild night. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and you put on a man's pyjamas. Yeah, and I put on a man's pyjamas. But they're pink. on a man's PJs. But they're pink. Oh, this is Rich coming from you. You're the one who wears pyjamas to work. Not today. We wear sleep nighties. It's embarrassing. You wear a sleep nightie, it's a t-shirt. He wears a sleep nightie to work.

But yesterday, so I bought this shirt from just a small boutique news at Support Local. Yeah. Kmart. Yeah. Okay. Is it a small boutique news that support local. Yeah. Kmart. Yeah. Okay. Is it a small boutique local retailer?

I only buy local. Okay, yeah, right. Oh, my God, my outfit's full Kmart. I forgot my skirts Kmart as well. Yeah. I look cute as. But I don't. Did Georgia just give you a look like, ooh, Kmart?

No, it was like knotted. Did you just ooh Kmart me? No, no, she was knotted. She was like, yes, queen. Do you Kmart Georgia Bird? I do Kmart, but I don't Kmart? Did you just Kmart me? No, no, she was nodding. Do you Kmart Georgia Bird? I do Kmart, but the only thing I don't Kmart is shoes. Oh no, I wouldn't because I make my feet smell. I don't think that's a thing. There's something about cheap shoes that make my feet smell.

But I bought this from Kmart and arrived yesterday and I was like, well that's cute. And then I just did what I do with my Kmart goods. Which was cut the tag off so no one knows it's from Kmart. She was at the reception using their scissors, cutting the Kmart tag off so she can pass it off as something not. Because the K in Kmart stands for Karen. Karen Walker's Mart.

Karen Walker's Mart. Also, it's a boutique offshoot. That's right. Like a cheap Karen Walker label. Is that what it is? What people don't know Is the K in Kmart Stands for Our very own

Karen Walker Does it? I don't know if it does What do you think She'd find more insulting That you're saying that Or the time you broke Her Barbie in front of her

Oh my god I broke the Barbie The one and only Yeah Broke her sunglasses Yeah I think she's forgiven me For that

She won't forgive me For this Saying that this shirt That is definitely Not cotton Is from Karen Walker But I just love it Because people go Oh my god I love your shirt You're like thanks It's Karen for that. She won't forgive me for this. Saying that this shirt that is definitely not cotton is from Karen Walker. But I just love it because people go oh my god I love your shirt. You're like thanks it's Karen.

And because they don't themselves go to Kmart they don't know that it's Kmart. I love your shirt. Oh my god I know. It's Karen. Oh don't ask me how much it costs. Oh my god. But you know fashion. In the name of fashion. It's from Karen. It's Karen. And they'll be like Karen. Walker. Yeah Karen Marts. You's Karen. And they'll be like, Karen. Walker. Karen Martz.

Don't fill in the blanks. It's them assuming it's Karen Walker. You're just saying Karen. It's K-dub. And they'll go Karen Walker and you're like, no, I'm going K-Mart. But the M's are so down. Play. ZM's. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Five years this week

since COVID-19 was classified a global pandemic Five, it doesn't, does it feel like sometimes it feels like five years sometimes it doesn't, it feels like two Yeah, it does feel still fresh and I think because of the economic impact of it, you know, we're still saying

everything's still different, like the banks and all that kind of stuff, so we're still feeling the impact of it. But also, yeah, I was so skinny five years ago. Not that that was a good thing, but I just, I had a- Are you blaming the pandemic? I had a hot rock body in that first lockdown. So there have been some interesting studies done.

Like the New York Times had like 30 graphs on how the world has changed since COVID. And some of them are just shocking. Like the amount of alcohol consumption is at record highs and stays there. And what was the one about time spent socializing? So Americans are spending nearly one and a half hours less outside their homes in 2023 as they did in 2003. But even compared to just before the pandemic five years ago, it's like half the time is spent outside than it used to be. Yeah.

We were just like, okay, sick. I can just hang out here. Awesome. And so people aren't socialising. It's like they're calling it the anti-social century. Oh, my God. Not me. I'm doing my bit.

You're doing your bit. Thank you. Yeah. Like a Tuesday night slipknot. Why not? Why not? But like remember concerts and everyone was like,

oh. Yeah. And concerts became like super spreader events. Was it, what band was it that played in Auckland? Was it Tool?

That played just before it all happened and they were like, someone at the Tool concert had COVID. If you were up the front on the left you need to get tested

it was like this side of the stage because some friends had been and then they were I also caught up with them in Wellington and they're like

I can have COVID right now and I was like ah do you remember as well during when we had eliminated it in New Zealand

and we got set loose and the rest of the world wasn't and 660 played and they're like this is the biggest concert in the world that's right and we were like hell yeah and rest of the world wasn't and 660 played and they're like, this is the biggest concert in the world. That's right.

And we were like, hell yeah. And then all the other countries are looking at us at this huge festival being like, oh, cool. Well, it's been five years

and the sushi shop next door just took down their QR code. Did we try to log in the other day? I think it's because you guys take the piss and try to log in every time you go in there.

Every time. I have seen a couple of QR codes recently faded, you know? And you're just like. Okay. I don't think we're going to get through this. I'm not going to listen to the whole thing. I'm going to play like five seconds because I reckon it's going to be too triggering.

Okay. You ready? Yeah. Oh my God. This is a COVID-19 announcement. Getting tested. No, I'm going to turn it off. It's too much.

Driving through testing stations. That's right. Also, I went to drama school with that girl who did the things, Moana, and she was like, for a while afterwards, it hung around her. Yeah, because everyone was like, it's the COVID voice. Does she have any other voicing jobs now? Because when you hear her, she'll be synonymous. Yeah, yeah, because everyone was like, ugh, it's the COVID voice. Does she have any other voicing jobs now? Because when you hear her, she'll be synonymous. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't think so. Who knows? Yeah, interesting. So, let's speak to the list of things that were happening around the world five years ago. And let me just make sure this is paused. Yes, it is. What were you listening to?

Well, no, remember before we did King Charles Music List. Yeah. Still listening this whole show. Still cranking. Yeah, great playlist from the King there. But this woman called Charlotte Aubrey got stopped randomly in the subway and sung Shallow from... I remember that.

That's right. She had that big Farrah Fawcett blowout. Yeah. That was five years ago. Not staged at all. Definitely not staged at all. Definitely not staged at all. Shakira and Jennifer Lopez did the Super Bowl halftime show.

Tiger King, the documentary, had just premiered on Netflix. That's right, lockdown. They reckon if there hadn't been the lockdowns and people weren't stuck inside, that wouldn't have been the thing it was. But because everyone was stuck at home, it became a big show. And that was the snowball effect.

And he's like pleading to Trump to let him out and pardon him. You're not that special, bro. Do you know what I mean? No one cares about you anymore. Like you literally, what are you try to murder someone, right? Yeah, yeah. You plotted a murder. Yeah.

And it was well documented. The first season of Love is Blind was online as well. Sonic the Hedgehog was the biggest movie in the cinemas. The first, I think we've had three Sonic the Hedgehogs now. We're not watching better things. They really crank out those Sonics. Says the woman who watches maths every week. Yeah.

Calm down. Sonic the Hedgehog was a classic. Classic art. Welcome. You're right. Sonic is that. I down. Sonic the Hedgehog is a classic. Classic art. Welcome. You're right. Sonic is that. I don't know if it's a fair fight, to be honest. Maths and Sonic the Hedgehog.

Dance Monkey by Tones and I, Someone You Love by Lewis Capaldi, and Good As Hell by Lizzo were the biggest songs. Really? Lewis Capaldi was then. Lewis Capaldi feels newer than pandemic. Because Lizzo came here. We met Lizzo just before lockdown started. But in my mind, I was like, that was after.

And Dance Monkey doesn't feel that old, even though it feels like it's been around for ages. Old Town Road by Lil Nas X won heaps of Grammys. Where is he? What's he up to? Little Nas. He's Big Nas now. He's Big Nas.

And we're not as interested. Billie Eilish won most of the awards. The couples that were still together, Megan Fox was still with Brian Austin Green. Remember that? Yes. J-Lo was still with that baseball player, A-Rod. A-Rod and J-Lo. Channing Tatum and Jessie J were a couple.

That's right. Elon Musk only had six children five years ago. Now he's got 14. He's yuck. He's like Nick Cannon. Nick Cannon only had three kids. Nick Cannon only had three kids five years ago. Now he's got 12.

Yuck. Let's never go back. It seems like such a strange thing. We wouldn't do it again. We just wouldn't. Schitt's Creek was still on TV. Modern Family was still on TV. Like, you know before

Yeah And they were broadcast On television Yeah Rather than being on streaming On Netflix Yeah It's crazy

Well happy five years ago Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley A while back I received In my while I mean We were still on holiday Christmas holidays I received an email From a woman named Jessie

Yeah And it was just a classic Gmail account. And she said, Hayley, comma. Yeah. I love punctuation. Yeah. She's so strong. Yeah.

Hayley, capital H. But what comes next shocked me. Okay. Hayley, comma, seen you online. Okay. Yeah. So I came back and I said, what you seen, comma, Jessie? Wait, that's all the email said, seen you online.

Hayley, seen you online. And were you just like, well, I am well known. I am a woman. I'm a talked about woman. If you Google my name, there's maybe an article. I just said, what you seen, Jesse? She replied back, Hayley, hello, my boyfriend's out of town. Let's meet.

Here's my pictures with a link. And I was like, I'm not opposed to having a little geese. Right. Wait, you didn't click the link. You shouldn't be clicking strange links from people. I haven't yet. Okay. I am on the work laptop. I feel more comfortable doing it on that. Though we do do those courses that say don't click links. Yes, exactly.

So maybe I won't click it. It says, Hayley, hello, my boyfriend's out of town. Let's meet. Here's some of my pictures. Link. Sign in on this site and find my profile. My name's Jessica. Okay. Signed off Jess dot dot dot dot, which really has put me off.

Too many dots. I always do three dots. Three. Wait, she signed off Jess. Now, her name on the email is Jessie. She then says her name is Jessica and she's signing off Jess. Pick a line.

Okay. Do you know what I mean? She's all over the is Jessica and she's signing off Jess. Pick a line. Okay. Do you know what I mean? She's all over the show but she's hot for me. Yeah. But she signed off Jess dot dot dot. Dot.

That's right. You don't sign off with an ellipsis plus one. Or it's just like this. Hey, click this link. Jess. Jess. Right.

But you think she's hot for you. I said to her. She said it herself. I replied back Jess dot dot dot. Showing her her, I replied back, Jess, dot, dot, dot. Showing her the right amount of dots. Jess, dot, dot, dot. I said, this has big scam vibes. Goodbye, I wish you luck.

Yeah. Just, you know, ending it there. We don't engage, even as a joke, we shouldn't engage with these emails. Sometimes we do. Because then it tells these people that you're active. 30 minutes later, she emails back. Hayley, hey, my boyfriend can read this email. That's why.

That's why I'm sending it like this. Let's begin our meeting on this site. Just find me. Click this link. Okay. I'm not ready to click the link. I'm out and about.

Does the boyfriend never go into the sent items? No. To see what she's sending out? Only the inbox. Dot, dot, dot, dot. You always got to check the sent items. Exactly.

And then I said, wait, are you a woman? Question mark, question mark, question mark. Now, I'm not opposed. I was just clarifying because sometimes a Jessie Plemons. The actor, yeah. That's a man.

She said, yes, and I think you will want to date me, question mark. I don't use email. Please contact me on. The website. Insert link. Kisses, I get. Oh, okay. Jess, dot, dot, dot. Now she's lit.

I've said this, three dots, right? Then I said, oh, then I didn't respond to her. The next day she emails. Oh no, sorry. One minute later, she emails saying, Hayley, did you get my previous message? I'm waiting for you online in my chat room. A little insert link here.

I said, Jess, you silly bee, don't scam me. I'm looking for you online in my chat room. A little insert link here. I said, Jess, you silly bee, don't scam me. I'm looking for love. Okay. Then she emails me this morning. I was like, this is January 16th you sent this. She emails me this morning, Hayley, I have several naked pictures of you. Wow, this has escalated.

Now, do you remember when there was a time where one of the scams was, I have hacked into your camera on your computer. Yeah. And I have seen you playing with yourself while watching things. And I will leak this unless you transfer this money. And it got a few people. It works on some people, yeah.

She said, Hayley, let's chat. Contact me, and you're not going to believe this, on this site link. Okay. Now, if she has several naked pictures of me, one, lucky girl. Yeah. She should be so lucky. She should be so lucky. But two, I just want to click the link. I just want to see where it takes me.

When did she get the photos? Like, at what time? Because if she had my nudes from this time last year, I'd be like, I'll send you updates. I feel like I'm better. Well, you're ripped now. You're a lot more ripped. I'm just feeling better in my body.

I'm probably more confident as well. I think that'll really come across in the weird photo that's taken from my chest as I'm double chinning. Yeah, having a little time. Frantically playing with myself. Yeah, yeah. I feel like it just would be better for all of us if you leaked this year's edition rather than last year's.

Do you think I should message back and say, I'm a brunette now? Yeah, yeah, get an update. When were these photos taken? I've changed my hair colour. Okay, well, maybe I'll just clarify with her before I click the link. You were having a bit of fun with this,

but people actually fall for this. Oh, my God. I know. I know. But now you've also told this Cambodian troll farm that your email is active, and they're just going to up the... Well, I'm starting to feel a connection between Jess and I.

When you said Cambodian troll farm, I got excited to think they were the trolls from the movie. So did I, big neon hair. Yeah, in Cambodia they would have such a good time and the kids would love them. Cambodia's had a hard sort of like... Yeah, last 50 years I reckon they could do

with a troll farm everyone gets a troll it's not what you're thinking everyone is that our charity is that what Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley are going to get behind as a charity

a troll farm Cambodian troll farms Cambodian troll farms help us support the young trolls of Cambodia with the hair with the hair with the fluoro hair

they can't keep up with the hair it's not what you're thinking play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's our fact of the day for Things Named After Bad People Week is the sandwich.

Oh. The sandwich we enjoy, bread, butter the bread. What did Mr. Widge do? Oh, well, no, he wasn't Mr. Widge. His name was John Montague. He was the fourth Earl of Sandwich. Is sandwich a place? A sandwich is a place, yes.

Is that why the... Sandwich is an estate, yes. Was the sandwich before the Sandwich Islands? Sandwich Islands named after the same man. He was a big supporter of Captain Cook. And that was what Hawaii became. Yeah, yeah. Captain Cook.

What a guy, eh? What a guy. What a guy. That's mine. That's how I imagined him. That's mine. Oh, like that? That's mine.

That's mine. So he named the Sandwich Islands, which are now Hawaii, after him. Montague Island off the coast of Australia is named after him. The South Sandwich Islands in the Atlantic Ocean are named after him. And the Montague Island in the Gulf of Alaska is named after him. Okay. Do you guys always struggle with spelling sandwich? Sand, which?

Sand. It's one of those words that catches me every time. Sand, S-A-N-D, which W-I-C-H. Sometimes I always think of going sand, W-H-I-C-H. Like which one are you? Yeah, and then we say sandwich. Sandwich. Yeah, we almost spell it S-A-M, Sam, wedge, W-E-D-G-E.

Sandwich. We'll have a sandwich. Oh, I love a sandwich. Which then you're one step away from describing a sand wedge, which is a golf club. Yeah. Completely different. What did he do anyway, Mr. Sandwich?

Well, Mr. Sandwich invented, the sandwich was invented for him because he loved gambling. He loved playing cards so much that he wanted a free hand and he didn't want his hands to get greasy because he didn't want to eat with a knife and fork. But he wanted to eat with one hand, his beef, his greasy beef. Big fan of greasy beef, this guy. So he said, slap it between two slices of bread with some other stuff,

and then I can play cards and eat the sandwich. And then the bread is guarding my hands from the greasy beef. Yes. So I'm not going to get grease on the cards. And then eat the bread because it's all got yummy grease to it. Eat it like a sandwich. So that was named after him. Oh, after his position.

Right. He was the one that specifically enjoyed it. The fourth Earl of Sandwich. But he wasn't a great guy because he loved gambling. Here we go. Huge gambling guy. Get into the dark recesses of society for a little bit of gambling. And if his mates didn't want to play cards, he'd be a gambler man.

Don't tell me he ripped off some pokies. No, there's no pokies back in the day. What was he to do to pass the time? Cards and sandwiches. Right. He also held dozens of different government positions

that was terrible at them, constantly accused of corruption. He was commander-in-chief of the British Navy during the Revolutionary War, which was against America. And he had his ass absolutely handed to him.

He lost every exchange that he was ever involved in. You may have heard the famous exchange where someone says you'll either die by the gallows or the pox, meaning if the law doesn't get you, your deprived lifestyle will. You'll catch something and you'll die. And the person responded, that depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.

Now, he was the original one someone said that to. Rude. He was getting burnt in that original. Winston Churchill said it. It's been attributed to a whole lot of people. And he did indeed have a mistress, a very famous mistress. Her name was Martha Ray. She bore him nine children, five of which survived.

Now, he first saw her when she was a singer. Five of which survived? Yeah. Jeepers. Child mortality rates were terrible way back when. So he first saw her when she was a singer in a club and he said, I might like that. And he began an affair. His wife wasn't keen on it,

so he had her labelled mad and locked in a castle. Well, that's nice and tidy. Get her out of the way. Get her out of the way. Get her out of the way. And then when he was away doing these various trips that he had to do in his various positions, he encouraged his good friend James Hackman

to look after Martha and visit Martha regularly. He became obsessed with Martha. And then at the opera, he took out a gun and shot her. And then, of course, Lord Sandwich went on to more depraved activity later. Right. What a guy, eh? Yeah.

Well, I shall never eat another sandwich in my life. My toasty sandwiches I had this morning, they were the last. They were the last? I'm taking a stance. It's a feminist. We could just rename it. It's a feminist stance. Like we did with the duodecimal system, metal, not exactly the system in the library from yesterday. So today's fact of the day is the man

where we get the name sandwich from for a delicious meat and bread situation was a corrupt womanizer and a failed military man. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. You know we love Dochi here. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. You know we love Dochi here. When Dochi plays, we crank it.

And I listen to her in my car all the time. I just love her, that whole album. Yeah. Incredible. It's a mixtape technically. Indeed. So, thank you. That's right.

I learned the difference. Dochi did a Hot Ones versus. So she didn't do the sit down with the guy. It's like she goes head to head with a different artist. And they were talking and Dochi is bisexual. Identifies as such. And said she has two red flags

when it comes to men. Here they are. The first red flag, you're a man. Okay. Damn it. The second red flag for Dochi, you're a man. Okay. Okay, right. Damn it. The second red flag for Dochi, you're a straight man. Oh. Yeah.

God. That's you, Vaughn. Wait, so what does she want then? Just women. That's what she doesn't want. No, she wants men or bisexual men. Okay, right. Yeah, women, bi men, trans men.

Anyone except a straight man. Anyone who's not a straight man. Right, okay. Oh, man. Anyone except a straight man. Anyone who's not a straight cis man. Oh, man. No, I love this. I think that is- That is really angered. And you'll never guess who it's angered. Oh, who, Vaughn?

Straight men. Oh, don't upset them. They're very fragile. The white ones particularly wound up about this. The black woman said this? How dare she? How dare she? That got me thinking because I was like,

so many women on the internet are like, how is this so accurate? How is this so right that this is a red flag? We learn about red flags, hear about them all the time, like he's a liar or he keeps secrets or he gaslights you or da da da, red flag, red flag. He drives a sports car, da da da da.

I want to know this morning, what is your absurd red flag? The little things that you just go, you know what? That guy wears sockets. I used to wear sockets, but now I... And it is a huge red flag. You've gone up. You've gone up to sort of a crawled up ankle.

Well, because remember we got cancelled, sockets got cancelled, so I've gone for the tube socks. Tube socks. Which are very, especially in summer, oh, it's so hot. I know, I'm in a tube sock. And that's my ankle, my sockettes. Yes, I know. A breezy ankle and a sockette, I tell you.

To get the ball rolling, here's some examples of absurd red flags. We asked on Instagram. Doesn't like garlic. Good call. Big red flag. Yeah, yeah. Yep, that's terrible. You could be the love of my life and I'd love you.

Jess says, somebody not pouring me a glass of water as soon as we sit down at a restaurant. Oh, look, there's water on the table. Yeah. I wouldn't overstep. I wouldn't assume that they want water. I would ask. I'd be like, do you want some too? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But then you've got to wait for them to get the water. Okay, here's another absurd red flag. Being a dentist is a massive red flag. They enjoy inflicting pain and touch teeth all day. Guys, the text machines already. I love this. I love this. They don't shower before getting into bed.

Oh, you've got to get into bed. That's an absurd red flag. Danny messaged that in and I couldn't agree more. You've got to have a shower before you get in the sheets. This one is great. Your absurd red flags, this we want to know. And another example just came in the text machine. Can't handle spicy food.

Yes. What an ick. Like grow up. Oh, yeah. Like if they're real up about it too. Like what are you? Is there chilli in this? Oh, God, that's hot.

And you're like, really? It's just pepper. It's paprika, dude. Calm down. Don't she has come out and declared her two red flags when it comes to men. One, being a man. Two, being straight. Those are her red flags.

So we've asked you what are your absurd red flags, and oh my God. Funny, funny, funny. Funny listeners. Kick us off, Vaughn. Oh God, where do I start? Bisexual woman here. Nothing irritates me more than meeting a gorgeous, cool girl, and she has the audacity to be straight in a mahogany relationship. Oh my God, Where do I start? Bisexual woman here. Nothing irritates me more than meeting a gorgeous, cool girl and she has the audacity to be straight in a mahogany relationship.

Oh, my God. The audacity. Never stop them, though. For men, I just find the way they sniff all the time very annoying. Blow your nose, please, gentlemen. Blow your nose. People who sniff and don't blow their nose, I'm like, do you need a tissue?

Are you a baby? This is why I've got a box of tissues here. I'll blow my nose if it needs blowing. If they don't like bacon, that's a big red flag. Or if they like driving around for ages trying to find a park instead of just parking further away and walking. Oh, I agree with that. No, I'm going to keep looking.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like, we could have been there by now. Marilyn, what's your absurd red flag? Brown shoes. People that wear brown shoes. What if they're with, because do brown shoes go with navy suits? Some people do a navy suit and a brown shoe.

As long as you wear a brown belt, we're okay. Yeah. My last boyfriend, when I told him that was my red flag, he said, don't you remember when I wore brown shoes with my suit to a wedding that we went to, which was a navy suit? Yeah. Yeah. Did you say, yes, of course I remember. which was an AV suit. Yeah. Yeah. Did you say, yes, of course I remember.

Yeah, it was a big ick for me. We're not together now. Yeah, exactly. It was a brown shirt. What about a brown boot, Marilyn? Like an RM. You spent a fortune on those RMs. Nothing brown.

Wow, nothing at all. It's a big ick. Okay. Some more messages in. Thank you, Marilyn. If a guy makes an arrr noise when they yawn, like they've just come out of the trenches, shutters with that.

When he drives a hatchback is one of my favourites. So funny. That is so funny. If you meet a guy and you're like, this is great, and you walk him out of your car and he's like, this is me here, and opens a Mazda Aztina or whatever you're like, and you're just like, oh, no. It's got to be a separate boot.

Abby, what is your absurd red flag? Like when you're playing bear pong and the ball bounces away and they do that like awkward little crouched run after it. It's all really nasty. It's all disgusting. Abby, do you know what I reckon it is? It's the curved back. Yeah.

I'm like, just stand up. What are you doing? There's been times where my chickens get out and I have to chase them and you're huddled over and you're running and you're like, even doing that, you're like, oh, yuck, I hate this. So unattractive.

It's the hunched back. Just stand there and wait. Why are you so impatient? It was so funny. Oh, my God, Abby. This is iconic. I'm going to say Coral of the Wake. Absolutely.

Coral of the Wake has very funny, very funny, absurd... Red flag. Red flag for you. We're going to hook youal of the Wake. Absolutely. Coral of the Wake has very funny, very funny, absurd red flag for you. We're going to hook you up. Thanks to Chemist Warehouse, home of the biggest brands at the lowest prices. We've got a Chemist Warehouse prize pack for you, Abby. Abby, just to confirm, let it bounce till it stops. Yeah, like.

But I kind of just want to get it before it gets dirty, you know. The arched back is ick. What are you, a dog having a pillow? Wait till it stops. Can I stand on it? Because I might tend the ball and then I'll ruin the game. Just do anything but the run. Okay.

Oh my God, that's so accurate, Abby. Thanks, Abby. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse. Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way?

Give us a review. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.