ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 12th November 2024

Episode Date: November 11, 2024

Sunniest Region is Blenheim, Why? Gen Z hate the smile emoji SLP - Are you scared of the work toilets? List of pet names in 2024 Top 6 Features of $1.2M the Christmas Tree How did you waste a doctors time? Wicked website link Hayley's obsessed with a UK Fish n Chip shop Throw out ya black spatulas Call up and do an impression Fact of the day Hayley has woken up What to do if you fall off a skyscraperSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley on ZM. Thank you, Adam Cooper. Good morning. Thank you, Adam Cooper. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Vaughan.

Get stuffed, Adam Cooper. Oh, controversial. Oh, mainstream media. Whoa, controversial. Mainstream media. Were we being too nice? I was just sort of a bit of balance or something. No, no, no. Yeah, good old Adam, eh? Right.

On the show today, Vaughan Smith, I believe you've got the top six, and there is some controversy as we inch closer to Christmas at Auckland Council spending a lot on a Christmas tree. Yes, they should. Auckland business. And season's greetings to our listeners this morning. Also, it's not even the council. I don't think it's the council.

The council may have put some money in. I don't know. I don't know. But all I know is that there was Auckland business leaders defending the choice of spending $1.2 million on a central Auckland Christmas tree. Is it one they're going to use again? Because I noticed they put a...

It bloody better be. I watched the... What's the place with the New York and the... Rockefeller Centre. Rockefeller Centre tree go up. Oh, my God. That's a genuine tree. No, yeah, they cut that down and then truck it into New York City.

Every year they select it. It's a whole thing. It's an actual pine tree, like a proper... Douglas fir. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's the one thing. It's an actual pine tree. Like a proper... Douglas fir. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's the one. And they grow them, and they pick them years out. And they've got, like, okay, these are the five for next year.

And I guess at the time, they're like, which is the best? So the Christmas tree is being split three ways. Hot. That's hot, man. I love a Christmas tree three ways. Man, me too. And so Auckland Council's portion was coming from a rate paid by city centre property owners. Ha ha.

Not me. But do you know what? I reckon it'll look great. Yeah. I'm all for it. It needs something. Since we got rid of our old winky fiddler. The winky fiddler.

Who's that? Oh, yeah. Enter on Queen Street. The old farmer's winky fiddler. It needs something. It needs something. There was those giant baubles. And I had that person that was living rough tell me to get effed.

Merry Christmas, they said on the end. I was like, that's a nice touch. Yeah, that's part of their Christmas display. Yeah, that's... So you've got the top six dealing with this soon. Top six features of a $1.2 million Christmas tree. So that's a phenomenally expensive Christmas tree. I can't wait to put up my Christmas tree.

Next on the show, though. expensive Christmas tree. Oh my god. I can't wait to put up my Christmas tree. Next on the show though Blenheim. Marlborough. I was just there. I was there a week ago. Was it sunny? It was bloody stonking main. Wow. Great news. Great news for Blenheim. Great news. We've spent a little bit of time there. Always have a good time. Always good time.

A lot of roundabouts. A lot of roundabouts. I'm fine. You know me, I love a roundabout. A remarkable amount of roundabouts. Love a roundabout. Play Zed M's, Fleshborn and Hayley. Do you remember that Rogue? Nah,

I'm imagining it. Was there a year where Taranaki had the sunniest? Vaughn, there has been a couple of years. Really? Wild. Actually,

I say really in surprise. How dare you? You know, I love New Plymouth. I would say in the last few years, I've really fallen in love with New Plymouth. That's a beautiful region. You should try some of the other regions. I grumped there.

I've tried enough. Hawke's Bay is my one. Hawke's Bay is one of those ones when you go, I'm like, I could live. You've been there four times. Yeah, I know. And every time I'm like, this is a beautiful spot. I can't base it on four times. Do you know, I was in Nate Pierrot. I spot. You can't base it on four times. Do you know, I was in Napier.

I can base a crush on a region on four times. 100%. Love it. First, fourth sight. I was in Napier on Saturday. Saturday. Yeah. It was 27 degrees.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, it's beautiful. And I went for a walk and I was like sweltering. Yeah. It was so nice. People were swimming. No, I was wearing literally a pair of gym shorts that are called the No Chafe Lotus Short.

Lovely. Yeah. So, no, no chafe, but man, it was sunny. It was gorge. So, Taranaki was the sunniest region in 2021 and 2022. Yeah. Nice. Bad years.

Bad years. Just as a year. They needed something. Years we like to forget. Years wise. I just got chilled out when I started thinking about those years. 21 was worse than 20.

Oh. And 22 was equal with 20. Right, but I'm just saying it has in the past been the sunniest region. Okay, well it's not this year. Marlborough. Marlborough.

Good old Marlborough. So far though, is there any chance that someone could overtake them? 15 hours behind them is Nelson. Okay. Bay of Plenty just behind Nelson

and Tasman is kind of the same as Bay of Plenty. Bay of Plenty. You said New Plymouth's not even top five. Classic New Plymouth. No, we're in Northland. It's had a bit of a cloudy year, has it? Yeah. Is Wellington on there in terms of...

Oh my God, it was so embarrassing on Friday. What happens if you end up all the good days? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you can totally beat it. Not even top 50. I was there on Friday with the Seven Days Tour. Could have really been around, haven't I? You're getting around.

There on Friday, and it was the most embarrassing day. Do you know what I mean? It was one of those days where everyone was flying and being like, God, I hate this place. And I was like, oh, no, it's my favourite. It's beautiful. It was windy, windy, windy, windy, like stormy landing and take off.

Embarrassing, to be fair. Oh, but go, go, good for the grapes. I've wondered what makes... Good for the wine. Good for the wine. Good for the wine. I've wondered what makes, like, what geographically makes this one of the areas

that's regularly the sunniest? I thought you were going to say what makes an area sunny. I was like, the sun? The sun. Stupid, dumb idiot. Dumb question, right? Oh, yeah, I don't know. Surely it's a, me just trying to come up with something.

As if I understand weather at all. I don't know. I don't know. Okay, a feature of the climate of eastern Marlborough is the large amount of winter... Oh, no, that's not telling me anything, really. It's almost like people study this stuff and get, like, degrees in it.

All of that's where I'm at on bloody niwa.co.nz reading Marlborough climate... You know who I need? Who? Chat GP. But I don't know if I can copy and paste all 40 pages of this and get me a... A simple explanation.

Next, I know we're going to come back and talk about something else, but I'm going to chat GP to this entire 40-page NIWA article and ask it to find me the reason Marlborough is the sunniest region. But it's all over the show because New Plymouth or Taranaki has been... Stop that. Tekapo in the past has been... Yeah, down south. Is it bad I can understand? It must have something to past has been. Yeah, down south. Is it that I can understand?

Must have something to do with mountains. Yeah, because the mountains push it away. They hold like three entertainers. It must have something to do with mountains. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. I just said I was going to give you a one-sentence ChatGPT summation of why Marlborough is quite regularly the sunniest place in New Zealand.

Yes. ChatGPT won't let me ask it any questions without logging in. I don't want to do that. But someone text message, Duh, it's where the ozone hole is. No further questions. Yeah, well, that sounds probable. No further questions.

What? Also, have you just exhausted your free chat GPT quota? I've got so many a day. I use the chat G, what do you call it? No, no, people hate it when you say it wrong. GTP. No, chat GST. I used chat GST last night. What did chat KFCC say?

Well, it was giving me free answers. What did chat DUI, what were you using chat IUD for? I'm not telling you. Oh, he's been secretive about it. Oh, chat STD. What is this rash? Yeah, what is this rash? Please help me chat STD. Okay, so Gen Z, they love to attack

us millennials, don't they? They do. And now they have come for the humble, the simple, the multi-purpose. I reckon don't pause after come next time or I can roll straight through into the next word. Now they have come. Oh, yeah, right. Well, I hope they are. But they have come for the humble smiley face emoji. Just not a twisty zany one, just the classic.

If back in our day It would have been a colon and a half a bracket Just like that face They have labelled this emoji Both passive aggressive And my favourite word Sinister Sinister

They're saying that when you respond to someone's messages By using this like smiley face emoji, which could be like, yep, cool. That's what I think I'm doing when I say that. They say that it's coming across as like, like a big attitude-y thing. They've got a problem with it. They think that it's passive aggressive.

Now, our Gen Z proddies, look at them gossiping. Look at them gossiping. Look at them gossiping. So adverse to hard work. I was loading in your fish and chip audio for 7.37 this morning. Thank you very much. Now, do you, as our Gen Z's, do you hate the smiley face emoji? Yeah, it's very much a passive aggressive.

You've just typed a semicolon in a bracket. People do it in the office. It's very much a, mm-hmm, mm Why? You've just typed a semicolon in a bracket. Yeah. People do it in the office. It's very much a, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, okay, home. Wow. Oh, my God. What is your problem? What is your problem? Why can't you just leave us be?

Ask the emojis in the socks. What is your problem? Why can't you just use the little one with a little bit of blush? Yeah. What's the one with a little bit of blush? Oh, yeah, I like it. It's bashful. That's bashful.

I like it. It's bashful. It's a simp. No, no, no. Yeah, it's half simp. That's bashful. That's bashful. I like it. That's a simp. No, no, no. It's too simp. The simp is the big eyes. That's half simp, the blushy face.

When we're in a world of so many emojis, just chuck in some personality and don't be passive-aggressive. Let me tell you about a ton of foreign emojis. Let me tell you when you had to go,

you'd go to go Colon Smite You'd be like See ya mum Smile But you'd actually send mum See ya mum

Wink Mum's like What are you winging me for We're not that young We did live In a time before emojis As babies Yeah books

Little babies My first Little dribbly babies Little babies Pooping in your pants Shitting in your pants Little baby babies I was alive for 9-11.

We were just barely. What do you remember of that day? Not much. Yeah. It was one. Do you know what I hate with emojis? Is when you are writing a list and you go, da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

A, bracket. Yeah. Write the sentence. Yeah. B, bracket. Yeah. Write the sentence. Yeah. B, bracket. Emoji with sunglasses suddenly. You know what? It just automatically does it.

Oh. And you're like, no, I'm trying to say point A. I don't go A. If I'm writing on this, I don't go A, bracket. I go A space dash space begin point. Yeah, that's really nice that you do that. I actually think that's really classy. But I just say in my trash way of doing it, A bracket,

B bracket turns into the guy with the sunglasses on. Does it? Yeah. That's awesome. It's awful. I'm always like, A, point A. Point A, really angry. B, what's up?

C. Summer, homie. Pretty summer day out here. I'm in Marlborough. This is the Ozo poll. Well, speaking of Gen Z, actually the basis for our silly little poll next, because apparently a lot of them-

I tell you what, we give them a show, but boy, content. I know, so much content. They give us so much content, don't they? They give us and they take it away. And they're comforts flow with over. It's the new Boomer versus Millennial. Yeah, it is. Content-wise.

It's our turn. It's our turn. Millennial versus- It feels like we've rushed into Millennial versus Gen Z. I feel like this could be a battle for the ages because I feel like we're just going to keep

battling through until we die. And I don't think it's just Gen Z's but a lot of people are scared of using the work toilet. Like, I know people

that will avoid it or go home. We knew someone that would go home. Oh, who won't do a poopy would be in there. We knew someone who would go home

but also didn't drive. So would have to catch a bus home to shit during the day. That's ridiculous. How do you feel about the work toilet? It's silly little pole next. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fletchborn and Hayley.

That's true. You were right. Fletchborn and he's dead. Fletch Vaughan in He's dead Fletch Vaughan in The third one died That did sound like You guys had both died Didn't it

Yeah The show thanks to Mick Caffey Oh my god That's what it would be like He'd be here doing a show And he'd have to let the nation Know that Vaughan and Hayley died

We were in a car together No that was just I don't know Like a croaky throat I just had to clear my That's how we do it Fletch And just Fletch and just fletch.

The show thanks to McCafe. Great things are brewing on the go. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. How do you feel about work toilets at today's Silly Little Pole? This comes to us again from the greatest generation there ever was and ever will be, Gen Z. Yeah, apparently they don't like using work toilets. Why not? This depends where you work.

Do you know, here we've got nice toilets. They were right here. Yeah, they were right here. They were very quiet until they put music in. It took like a year. Was it a year

until we had music? Some would say it was Jase Walker's lasting legacy. It was. It was. Before he left this company and moved back to Australia,

he got a radio in the toilets. He petitioned management. It was so weird going into a quiet toilet. I almost feel like each individual stall should have the ability to turn the music up in the toilets too because sometimes it's a little low and you're about to absolutely gasp. Oh, yeah.

So they were right here, our last workplace. Remember Fountain Court? Yeah, that, yeah. So they were right here, our last workplace. Remember the member fountain court? Yeah, that was pretty grim. Every other day there was a message, and it was always the women's toilets. Hello, the phantom shit is back again. They've gone all over the floor. Oh, yeah, the women's toilets are way worse than the men's. There's feral behaviour in there, honestly.

So gross. So one and two, this was a study. Speaking of women's toilets, do you ever use a unisex toilet fletch? And you know the thing that gets rid of the sanitary products? Oh yeah, I always like

run my hand and go zzzz. And I'm like, yeah. It was quite fun. Yeah, and sometimes I'll have a piece of rubbish

and I'll be like, zzzz. Put it in. Chuck it in there. Yeah, it is fun. It's pretty fun. It is fun.

So a study out of the UK found that one in ten employees have never been able to poo at work. 34% are just too scared to use the bathroom. Oh, God, no. You have to. You drink coffee, you drink a lot of water.

Everyone else is doing it. Yeah, I'm going a couple of times a day. Yeah, God. Receive me, you know. Receive me. Out of all of them, 19% simply refuse to go at work. One in four will happily hold it in until they get home. How is that even possible?

Because when I need to do poo, I need to do poo. It hits me and I'm like, it's poos time. Yeah. I've definitely like, because there's four stalls in the women's, one accessible, three smaller ones. We've got three stalls inaccessible and two urinals and two sinks. How many sinks have you got? Three.

So you've got one more sink than us. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's urinal space. Yeah, yours are bigger than ours. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think I went in with Fletch once just to have a look. Yeah.

Yeah. Good stuff. But what was I saying? I was saying something and I can't remember. And you guys hooked up in the disabled place. No, that's just between friends. Just a friendly hookup. No, we hooked up in the normal toilet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just in case someone in a wheelchair came in. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let's consider it on you. If someone needed the accessible toilet, you know, we're not going to prevent them. We also haven't even got to sell a little pole yet.

Okay, get to sell a little pole. I just realised, I was like, what are we doing? Oh, yeah, we're doing an actual thing. How do you feel about the work toilets? Hate them, scared to use them, use where necessary, or love them constantly going, which seems a lot. Yeah. It seems a lot.

Okay, so the most popular one is use where necessary. That's 68%. Almost. Almost nice. Yeah, almost nice. When we talk about toilets, I don most popular one is use when necessary. That's 68%. Almost. Almost nice. We were talking about toilets. I don't know if that comes into play, does it? Oh, we're not doing that in a toilet. The second most popular is love them constantly going.

7% of people hate them, scared to use them. Okay. The way you're drinking that water, was that jug full at the start of the show? Yeah, I'm feeling dehydrated. You're going to need a wheeze, son. You've got colonoscopy prep, though, too.

I've started my colonoscopy prep today, so I'm flushing. What, you've already started? No, no, no, no, not that part of it. The change your diet part of it. Phew. Tomorrow, no food.

Oh, yuck. But fun, because you get propofol. Yeah. A friend of mine had a colonoscopy yesterday, and they were like, you will not like

about that propofol. I was like, you're going to feel great for the next 12 hours. Char said, I can do number ones at the work toilet, but not number twos. I literally drive home during my non-contact periods. I'm a teacher. Oh, yeah.

To do number twos. Come on. Surely the toilets aren't that bad at school. In the staff areas. Staff areas, yeah. Shauna says, our work toilets are cubicles and there's not enough of them. Putting grown professional

centimetres away from each other while they relieve themselves. That's not my vibe. Yeah, it's a weird thing to do. It is. We're all humans. Daniel, I'm a teacher and we have a staff member,

no one knows who, who puts up a new meme slash joke in the staff toilets each week. I often have a chuckle to myself when I go to the toilet and a new meme is there. I like that.

That's cool. The meme needs a frame. Yeah. I feel like it needs a permanent frame. And then all they do is they take down the front and change the meme. A little light box. Yeah. Fantastic.

You never know if they're going to smell like someone's taken a big dump or they're going to smell like feet, says Jamie. But either way, they always have an unusual aroma. Polly said, I work with mostly women and our office toilet is directly opposite our boss's office. Who has made sure we know he can hear us weeing. I'll only go when he goes out

for lunch or coffee. Polly, we need to get HR onto this immediately. If he has made light of the fact that he's heard every female staff member urinating, that's a big ick. An employment red flag. That's a big ick. Yeah, HR.

That's, we definitely need to help you. Carlo said, hate the work Portaloos would rather piss against the side of the work you. Oh, the work, I didn't even think about Portaloos tradies. Someone else just messaged in, I clean Portaloos for a job,

so I don't mind using the toilet because I know that that is clean every time. Yeah. I would love to, there must be a video online of cleaning of a Portaloos. That's fascinating stuff. It's one of those things we take for granted. You'd watch that.

It's one of those things we take for granted. Oh, we hated it. I hated it. Whenever they came and they put in a big hose and they suck it all out. It was awful. And then do they clean it or just put more of that blue stuff in it? Well, that's part of the cleaning.

But no, they gave it a good clean. Fascinating. I know. Please keep me anonymous, but I pop to the shop and run down the street to the public toilets. What? I guess it's just a matter of time before they realise I don't come back with any snacks. Public toilets are better than your work toilets? I suppose it's like a bit of anonymity

rather than pooping next to your wife. Maybe they're going to like a mall toilet. I always poop in malls. Poop in malls? Yeah, it's so strange. I don't think I've ever

pooped in a mall. Oh yeah, I always poop in a mall. It's like the sheer excitement of shopping. The thrill of a good bargain maybe gets me all moving. They wanted to remain anonymous

but their profile picture does look like Producer Carwood. Oh yeah. I'm not saying it's her but they do look alike. She is aghast. She is aghast

that you've even insinuated that. Marie said, I work from home. I guess it would be my own fault if my toilet was in any condition

other than to my liking. I'm the only female in a trade heavy depot with one toilet. To you, our thoughts and prayers go. Oh, yeah, wow, okay. When someone's diet mostly consists of energy drinks and highly processed meat inside highly processed pastries. Yep.

Our thoughts and prayers go. It's all going to come ripping out around 10 o'clock, isn't it? Oh, is it? Oh, ripping out. Tim would like us all to go into this day. Boss gets a dollar. I get a dime. That's why I always poo

on company time. That's gorgeous. Yeah, good. That's good. Yeah, don't waste your own time. No, no, no. Get paid to poo.

At work. That's a little bomb. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. N-Z-C-A-R. What do you reckon it stands for? NZCAR. NZ.

Cars are rad. Okay, that's your option. NZ, casseroles are us. There's not even a U in there. That's NZCAU. Sometimes they get it wrong. Yeah, you're right, actually. Sometimes they get it wrong. No, it, you're right, actually. Sometimes they get it wrong.

No, it stands for the New Zealand Companion Animal Register. So that's your microchip database, basically. Oh, yeah. Major Murray Fluffington's in this. Yeah, and Rolly's in it twice. Our dog's... Why is he in it twice? He's got two microchips.

Oh, I think I remember this. No, when they first rescued him from a plastic bag in Lower Hart, they chipped him and they thought that it had... We've all been there, right? It had to be rescued from a plastic bag in Lower Hutt. Do you know what? I have been disgustingly close. They thought the first one didn't work and then it did,

so he's got two chips. Oh, right. You've got two numbers. Right. New Zealand Companion Animal Register. So it's where you register your pets if you microchip them, which you should. Also, you've got to register your dogs and stuff. So they have a whole database of, roll please, 1.3 million pets in New Zealand across lots of different species.

I'm surprised that many people have registered their pets. Amazing. So this includes rabbits and horses. I'm sorry. People are microchipping a rabbit? Do you? Oh, my God. I kind of want a rabbit, but that's a side thought.

Wouldn't the microchip be the price of a rabbit? I don't know. What does a rabbit cost? Not much. Not much? Well, they breed them like bloody rabbits, don't they? A lot of supply. Here he is.

Do you register your other animals That aren't cats and dogs Well cows you have to They've got a national animal identification Something the T is Nate And tracking Tracking scissor Tracking scissor

And you have to Because of microplasma bovis and other diseases that could wipe out the dairy industry across the country, bajillions. So, yes, but not the goats and not the pigs. I don't think NZ's casseroles include big farm animals. This is your domestic sort of pets. They have released the top five names by species.

Horse, rabbit, dog, cat in New Zealand for 2024. Okay. Based on people registering. Because that time of year we're going to get all these lists. I know. I love the list. Okay, horses from fifth to first. Okay. Marley, Kiwi, Jasper,

Charlie, number one is Bailey. Oh, I thought Shadow might be in there. Shadow Flaps. Shadow Flaps, the white horse, but also like a dark horse might be called Shadow. Yeah, true. Okay. So Marley, Kiwi, Jasper, Charlie, Bailey. It sounds like I'm doing the alphabet. Yeah, Marley, Kiwi, Jasper, Charlie, Bailey.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, Rabbits. Floppy. There's got to be a floppy. No, no, floppy. Peter. Peter. No.

Floppy. No. I don floppy No no floppy Peter Peter No Floppy No I don't think you'll guess any of these From fifth to first Honey Hazel Cookie Coco Archie

Stupid rabbit names Archie rabbit Archie the rabbit Okay here's the Do you want cats or doggos? Dogs We'll do dogs We'll headline with cats

Cats last year I want a headline with dogs. No, too bad. For dogs from fifth to first, Charlie, Daisy, Poppy, Bella, Luna. Bella was top dog a couple of years ago. Bella's big dog name. Yeah. I can't believe like Chopper or Muzz isn't in there, you know.

They don't register themselves. They don't register those dogs. And cats is Nala, Coco, Milo, and Bella and Luna are the top two on cats and dogs. Really? Yeah, so Luna is number one across cats and dogs. So don't name your children Bella or Luna. Because that's officially an animal name now. Mind you, your children will outlive your animals. Ideally.

Ideally, yeah. Fingers crossed. Yeah, all going well, that happens. So yeah, like Luna and, what did I say? Bella. No, yes.

Luna and Bella are the top two names for cats and dogs. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six.

Fletch will be happy about this. He's a central Aucklander. A $1.2 million Christmas tree. Where's it going? It's not up yet though, right? Nah. It's going up in the like Britomart Square, right?

In downtown Auckland. Oh yeah. So Borough McQueen Street. It's where the big balls have been previously. Oh, outside the railway. Yeah. Yeah, the big balls are up.

Show sponsor McDonald's. Yeah, yeah. I love that. I love that non-ease. Big balls are up. Yeah. But yeah, because I had a look this morning. It's a keystone in the McDonald's bridge, isn't it?

It truly is. It's sort of their flagship store. Yeah. It's just right in the middle of it all. It's flagship nugs for me. It's always open late. Yeah, it's good. It's good stuff.

Saved many a day. Yes. It's flagship nugs for me. It's always open late. Yeah, it's good. It's good stuff. Saved many a day. Yes. I guess we'll see what quality the tree is when it goes up, but there's a lot of bulk. Faux or real? Faux. I imagine faux.

But it's going to cost $1.2 million. People are like, what? Yes. Nice, nice. It's a long-term investment because, of course, Santa was retired just before COVID, and last we heard... Yes, that's right. ...was in Wanaka. Yeah, was he dismantled?

I'd actually like a Wanaka update, if I could. Yeah, because he was lying on... You could see him on Google Maps. He was lying in a quarry outside the back of a museum. Yeah. I think the head got put somewhere last time. Someone said the head was up, perhaps. So the tree is over 18 metres tall,

10,000 LEDs, 4,000 pahutukawa flower decorations and 200 giant baubles. That's going to be amazing. I like that. I got the top six features of a $1.2 million Christmas tree for $1.2 million.

Number six on the list, the Christmas tree angel on the top. It's a $1.2 million Christmas tree for $1.2 million. Number six on the list, the Christmas tree angel on the top. It's a real angel. We've borrowed it from heaven. Holy moly. What's the high ridge on an angel from heaven? Quite a bit.

Anything religious costs quite a bit of money. It does. It's got to go into the coffers. Yeah. Angels breathe normal oxygen? They breathe anything they want. Yeah. Pollution, oxygen, They breathe anything they want. Yeah. Pollution, oxygen, anything.

They actually love pollution. They're actually a great CO2 filter. Really? Oh, man, that's awesome. Great. So good. Number five on the list of the top six features of a $1.2 million Christmas tree,

the snow that falls from it is cocaine. Wow. I don't know if that's a good idea for downtown Auckland. Yeah, for downtown Auckland. I reckon they've had just about enough of everything. Let's face it, there's already a bit floating around already. You're getting it off the tree. Number four on the list of the top six features

of the $1.2 million Christmas tree. You know, we were talking recently about posh Christmas trees that have trains that go around them. Yes. It's a real train. You can ride it. Oh, my God. You can ride it up the Christmas tree and then they just turn the brakes off and you

rollercoaster back down the Christmas tree. Love it. Did you order one of those from Teemu? No, I didn't. I've chickened out. Because you didn't want to set your house on fire? Yeah. I feel like if I'm going to get one, I should get a legit one.

Yeah. Okay. A legit one's probably just from Teemu in a different box anyway. Yeah. That would make me sort of feel better. Paying the middleman a whole lot of money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, interesting.

Number three on the list of the top six features of a $1.2 million Christmas tree. The reindeer? Yep. Real reindeer. You've got to be kidding me. Real, real big. And they fly? Of course they do.

Oh, my God. Because the angel blessed them. Yes. With her magical heaven powers. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six features of a $1.2 million Christmas tree. The lights on it are so bright

that no one in the whole city will experience any form of nighttime in the entire month of December because when they get switched on, everybody else, it's like in the movies, you know when you see parts of the city shutting down and the lights coming off? That happens every time it switches on

because it's such a drain on the ground do you know on that I was just reading so it's 18 metres tall this tree it's going to have 10,000 LED lights

I said this at the start and did you say about the light show no I didn't say every 5 minutes there'll be a light show no there'll be a 5 minute light show

every 10 minutes 7.30pm till 10pm that's going to be cold 7.30 p.m. till 10 p.m. That's going to be cold. 7.30, so it's still going to be too light in December. Yeah, no, but for the kids. It's too light. Nah, nah, nah, till 10, you'll be all right.

Yeah. Oh, my God. What if someone tries to climb it? Oh, no, they're going to have security there. Yeah, 100%. 100%, okay. That'll add to the budget. And number one on the list of the top six features of the $1.2 million Christmas tree. Guys, it's the Sky Tower in disguise.

What? That's how big it is. Why don't we just put some balls on that? Actually, yeah. Or even just sort of a little green jacket. You know those horrible five-minute craft videos? Yeah. We've talked about them before.

They make a spaghetti shoe or some nonsense like that. I saw a guy. Spaghetti shoe with concrete. Yeah, with spaghetti and some concrete, of course, why not? He put PVC pipes around his letterbox in like a triangle shape,

in like a cone shape and then wrapped green stuff around it and I was like, look, a Christmas tree letterbox. I was like, that sucks. But imagine it on the Sky Tower. I think that would suck too.

That would need some big pipes. Need some big stuff. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. There's a GP. God, we're all choking up today, aren't we? There is a GP in the UK. Alka Patel is her name. She has said. Loved her in Scarface. I didn't get the reference. No. Alpagina. Al Pacino.

Alka Patel. Doesn't even sound like it. Doesn't even sound like Al Pacino. Doesn't even sound like Al Pacino. An Al Patel phone joke would have been funnier. I loved her charging cradle in the early 2000s. See, that would have been a better observation to make. That would have been way funnier.

And then I would have laughed. But then, now, you've just made fun of someone's name because they're from another country, Hayley. So are you happy with yourself? Can you believe? Because I said Al Pacino. Can you believe? I said Al Pacino because it sounded like Al Pacino.

And you said she sounded like a phone. This is Paul Henry all over again. I've got whiplash. I hope you've enjoyed your job. Don't Paul Henry me. Well, you shouldn't have Paul Henry'd yourself. Oh, my God. I hope you've enjoyed your job. Don't Paul Henry me. Well, you shouldn't have Paul Henry'd yourself. Oh, my God.

We're all going down. Jumping on this great chat. By the way, we're all going down. Oh, we're all going down. Anyway, so she says that she's got 20 years experience as a general practitioner. She's done it again. I have not. Shut it. She's still in the accent. She's done it again. I have not. Shut it. She says... She's still in the accent.

She's from the UK. Cancelled. Cancelled. You're all cancelled. Anyway, she says that over the last 20 years... What, people from the UK have an accent? Cancelled. It's cancelled. She says that

over the last 20 years, she has seen in particular the last four years, a huge increase of time wasters. Oh, I wonder why. Maybe a huge global pandemic and everyone's freaking out about the long-running effects of it. No, not at all. Social media. People are influenced by social media and they're checking symptoms

on things like social media or they're seeing people go like, oh, my God, I had a mark on my finger and it turns out it was sepsis and my finger fell off. And so people are waking up with, she used this as an example, waking up with a dot on their finger and immediately booking an appointment to come in and be like, this is sepsis, that's going to have to go, isn't it?

And she's like, no. She's like, no. One person booked an appointment for, there's no more explanation, so don't ask for it, by the way. Yeah. One woman booked an appointment for her son because apparently

he couldn't stop walking backwards. Time wasters she's calling them and she said it's terrible because then there are people who actually need medical

What is the diagnosis for someone who can't start walking backwards? Kick in the arse to sort their shit out because that's what my parents sort of give me.

Stop showing off. I'd be like Yeah stop. I'd be like Mum I can't start walking backwards. Yeah you're tired you're cold.

Yeah alright. And then you would've got you're cold. Yeah, all right. And then you would have got to stop showing off and kick up the arse. Just because we've got friends around. Send attention, yeah. From reading a lot of news, though, in the UK, they have, like, it's really hard to book in with the GP. Really hard.

I know even in New Zealand and some places, it's hard to even enrol in a practice. But, yeah, there, you're waiting months to see one. Yeah, totally. Well, no wonder they're going in at first signs of sepsis, because if they wait they'll be dead. That's a deadly thing to get. I mean, she's not discouraging people from investigating

things, such as a sore set of balls, which could be a sign of something, you know, dangerous. More serious, yeah. But she was like, they're just time wasters. Now, I think I've definitely done this before when I, you know, how many times do you need to swab an ingrown hair to convince me that it's not something more serious, you know?

Swab it. I can see the hair inside. I reckon just swab it. I reckon just swab it. What are you, why are they swabbing it? Well, you know, if I've had an ingrown hair in an intimate area, I'm just making sure that it wasn't an STD of sorts. And I remember that I've

definitely said to a doctor, swab that. Rate yourself, but you're a hooker up with anybody. Shut up. I used to. I'd love to say that if I was a doctor. Doctor, I think I've got an STD. Look at you, doubt it. Who the hell would even... And then you're like, oh no, you're right. It's bad.

It's real bad. That's what you've got. I want to know, when did you waste a doctor's time? Like, maybe you went in with a small thing that you thought was, like, you thought, I've got a bruise, this must be meningitis. But it was, I don't know, your pen leaked and it was just ink. Yeah, exactly. Whatever it was.

I'm bleeding from the nipple. No, a red pen has leaked in your pocket there that's what's happened there but maybe it was something you thought was really serious and it was just something tiny and

yeah totally something you could have just sat out at home yeah you're like this is skin cancer no my love that is a wart still haven't dealt

with my warts by the way are you having no I haven't I haven't had time could be the week okay give us a call 0800 DALSATM you can text in as well

9696 when did you waste a doctor's time you thought it was worse than it was we want to know Could be the week. Okay, give us a call. 0800 DALS at M. You can text in as well. 9696. When did you waste a doctor's time? You thought it was worse than it was. We want to know when you wasted the doctor's time. Yeah. Took something a little bit too seriously. Apparently in the UK, this is a massive thing.

One in four appointments, they were saying, are time wasters. Yeah, and it's all because of social media, because people are saying, like, things online that... Got to scratch. You're like, well, that's flesh-eating disorder. Guess I'll be eaten alive in the next 24 hours. Better go to the doctor. Yeah, just put some sablo on. But then you hear about people that ignored it

and they lost their legs. You're being alarmist. I'm just saying. I'm just saying it's probably flesh-eating disorder. Abby, when did you waste a doctor's time? Well, it wasn't actually me. My auntie, she took her son to the hospital because he was blue. Oh, no.

That seems fair. Yeah, but it turns out she just hadn't pre-washed his blue bed sheet. So he wasn't high-toxic. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She's like, it's not. The dye's rubbed off. You're fine, but it was okay.

And the doctors are like, stop buying cheap shit sheets. Your kid, the dye has not even set in them. Yeah, pretty much. That's why we always pre-wash linen. Yep. Oh my God, Abby, that is so funny. Thank you. Yep. Oh, my God. That is so funny. Abby's going to cue.

No, it's the sheets. Anonymous, when did you waste the doctor's time? Hi, guys. So for about three, four days straight, I was suffering from excruciating abdominal pain. And I went to the doctors, and they did all these push tests, like where it hurts. And then they were like, crap, we need to take you to the hospital. they did all these push tests like where it hurts and then they were

like crap we need to take you to the hospital I think you've got kidney stones so I got to the hospital they did their scans and the person was doing scans like I can't see any kidney stones all of it is pretty cloudy so they kept me in overnight gave me some pain meds a specialist comes and they're still confused on what's happening. So stayed another night for observation, and then someone else came, and it was just a case of I had gas and I just needed to let it rip. You needed a fart, didn't you?

You were just falling into it. Wow, this is why you don't hold it in. Did they fart you? Did they get the fart out? No, they just had to wait until I went to the bathroom and did a poop. And yeah, after that, I was good to go. Oh, how embarrassing. Oh, my God.

Do you know that's on your medical record somewhere? Yeah. Farted. Just need to fart. Never hold it in. Anonymous, thank you. Some messages in. I tell you, very popular on the messages that we're getting in, beetroot.

Oh, yeah. You're going to eat a lot of beetroot, beetroot salad, anything beetroot heavy. Put a little mark on your hand. Ate beetroot, not bleeding. Yeah. Yeah. Just a little mark. And then when you're on the toilet and you start panicking, you'll see the mark and you'll

be like, that's the beetroot mark. That's the beetroot. Yeah. That's the beetroot mark. That's the beetroot. Yeah. That's the beetroot mark. Some other messages in. My partner went to the GP with heart problems on his OE in London. Turns out copious amounts of alcohol, illicit drugs, and three hours of sleep a night can mirror the symptoms of a heart attack.

And I tell you what, if you keep doing it, I reckon you might have one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eventually, down the road. I fell off my bike and really hurt my leg. My dad was convinced it was broken because I had a lump. He's like, that's a compound fracture. I was like, it hurts a bit, but not like broken leg. Went to the doctors.

The doctor pushed it and said, sir, that's a mosquito bite. Oh, that is so embarrassing. Oh, that's so embarrassing. Oh, that's embarrassing. My ex-husband was a doctor's worst nightmare. Went there convinced he had motor neuron disorder because he had a twitchy toe. He also went there once because he was convinced he had HIV. No symptoms of HIV,

but was guilty because he'd slept with somebody outside of their marriage. And was convinced the guilt manifested itself into HIV. Into a dark thought that he couldn't get rid of the fact that he had HIV. Wow. I feel like there's a lot of issues here. There's a lot to unpack there. Some vets are weighing in. Oh, yeah.

A guy brought his dog in being so panicked about his cancerous growths on his dog's underside. I said, sir, those are nipples. And they said, it's a male dog, though. And they said, sir, male dogs like you have nipples. Have nipples. Yeah. And the guy was just like, how much is it going to cost me? That's the minute thing.

How much is it going to cost me? Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's an idiot fee. That should have been a moron fee. Yeah. Somebody said I used to work on Healthline and people would call. I'm pulling blood. The first

thing you'd say would be like, have you eaten beetroot lately? And some people would hang up at that stage just out of sheer embarrassment. Oh wow. And some people are like, it wasn't the colour of beetroot. And they're like, is your poo when it comes out the colour the same as the food when you ate it? And they're like, no, it's different. And they're like, that's kind't the colour of beetroot. And they're like, is your poo when it comes out the colour the same as the food when you ate it? And they're like, no, it's different. And they're like, that's kind of the vibe with beetroot too.

Yeah. Someone said they were constantly dealing with stomach issues, sore, constantly had the liquid squirts. Oh, yeah. Turns out anxiety. Really? Just was all stressed and worked up And anxiety manifested itself physically My son stopped using one of his legs

But it's got a happy ending So you can laugh When you know the outcome I know the ending So I laughed You didn't No But it was still funny

He's gone too It's still funny Big Paul Henry energy from this guy It's still funny My son stopped using one of his legs I was like Oh no He's gone too. That's still funny. Big Paul Henry energy from this guy. All right, Paul. Still funny. My son's still using one of his legs. I was like, oh no, he's still using one of his legs. Took him to A&E and they're like, well, we'll send you off to Starship.

Sent him off to Starship while we were in the area waiting to see a doctor where there's all the toys. I looked down and he's using both of his legs. Oh God. What was it? He was just being a little brat? No, he probably wasn't even old enough to realise that he wasn't using the leg. He's like a little kid kid.

Couldn't be like, my leg doesn't work anymore. Oh, so good. I had a skin cancer. It was definitely skin cancer. I took a photo of it and I was like, that's a skin cancer. And then I looked up what skin cancers look like. I had skin cancer. I went and the doctor was like, I hate to break this to you,

but that's called an age spot. Oh, no. As we get older. Oh, no. Oh, we're getting old. Granddad went to hospital for a heart attack. Turns out he was just constipated. Yeah.

Really constipated. God, so constipated your chest hurts. Mm. Wow. You'll need some fibre. Granddad's on a lot of red meat diet there. Yeah, yeah. Went to the doctor as I had this horrible, painful, blistering rash on the back of my leg.

I was like, I don't know where that's come from, but that's flesh eating. The internet told me it's flesh eating. Swabs, et cetera. Turns out after a few too many beverages, of course, we only here at the show drink in moderation. Only in moderation. One on the hour with water in between. Fell asleep on a hot water bottle that by the morning, of course, was cold, so I wasn't

aware when I woke up. It gave you bliss. It burnt you. I had a friend that had that happen. That's why you always use Gran's knitted cover for your hot water. That's right, you've got to get Gran's knitted, crocheted cover. Always. Oh no, that's a real one. My friend went to the doctor's feeling fatigued. Oh no, Always. Oh, no, that's a real one.

My friend went to the doctor's feeling fatigued. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. My friend went to the doctor's because they said they'd been feeling fatigued, but they had also recently administered a terrible fake tan. The doctor was like, oh, my God, it's jaundice. You're having kidney failure. All the other way around.

So the doctor rushed them to hospital for all the tests. The tests came back good. They just weren't getting enough sleep. But the doctor thought they had jaundice, and that's how bad their fake tan was. Oh, no. You've got to get the Bondi Sands with the green undertone. The Bondi Sands.

Use the glove. Use the glove with the green undertone. Green undertone. Jaundice. Yeah. Okay, there's a long one here, but it does end with... Hi. I know.

They said their name. I'm going to leave it out. Okay. A month after having my son, I was in our shop and I started feeling real bad chest pains. I hopped in the car with my husband. He took me up to A&M. I was put in a cubicle.

They did blood tests and said I looked really pale and wanted to see me for a chest X-ray. And the orderly was pushing me to the waiting room and he banged the bed on the door and I let out an enormous burp. And then the chest started again. I had an X-ray, got back to the emergency department, had another birth, they said, but I think it means burp. They ended up giving me, sending me home

because the chest pain was starting to go away. I had a bath that had popping candy inside and I'm pretty sure that was what was causing the internal disruption. They just had too much popping candy. They had a bath and they were eating popping candy in the bath and just go, just guzzling popping candy and eating it and so they just needed a good couple of burps and all it took to dislodge the burp was a bang by the orderly into the door.

Well, if you're having trouble booking in to see your GP or you're waiting hours at A&E. Wait, one more, one more. This is why. My friend was really concerned that my newborn baby had a tiny penis. I took him to the doctor. Turns out it's got a normal-sized penis for an infant. Infants just have tiny penises, and my friend was just a bitch.

What did you expect a baby to be born with a man-sized dong? You don't get your man dick until like 25. I'm still waiting for mine. Mine's baby-sized and I'm trying not to panic. We're actually going to talk about this wicked press tour again after 8. This one is getting some great content out of this Wicked movie. But now we want to talk about a slightly different aspect of the Wicked movie. One where you wouldn't say

has gone flawlessly. So bad. As Wicked released special edition Barbie dolls of, what are the two witches' names? Glinda Gwendolyn and Protrochium. Yeslyn and Petrochrium.

Yes, the Petrochrium. Yeah. No, Carwin, don't type in the chat the actual names. We don't need it. Gwendolyn and Petroleum. Glinda and Elphaba. Yeah. Petroleum sounded better to me. So... I've never seen this either in my

life. Elphaba. But you've seen The Wizard of Oz. Yeah. Yeah, so you know the one that gets, correct me if I'm wrong, So I've never seen this Either in my life Alphabet But you've seen The Wizard of Oz Yeah Yeah so you know The one that gets Correct me if I'm wrong The one that gets

Squashed at the start Yeah The bad witch The bad witch And then the good witch So which one is Ariana Grande The good witch

Good witch Right It's all about how The bad witch Isn't a bad witch That we're all just Different witches And it's a story Of sister Right. It's all about how the bad witch isn't a bad witch, that we're all just different witches. It's a story of sisterhood and it's really beautiful and it's got great music and those two have apparently nailed it.

Right. Something that hasn't been nailed. Yeah. Wickedmovie.com. It's been fletched recently. You know what they nailed recently? You two, cut it out and move on But people love it

When we bully you People love it when we bully you We have feedback actively coming in He's the builder not the building He does the nailing He doesn't get nailed Moving on Keeping it family friendly

Wickedmovie.com Is the website to family friendly. Wicked Movie, well, I'm afraid not. WickedMovie.com is the website to promote the movie. Wicked.com is where you go to watch the home of official parody porn movies such as Captain Marvel, XXX, and

other. The home of Wicked Pictures. So they have printed the wrong website address on the box. They put Wicked Pictures. So they have printed the wrong address, the website address on the box. They put wicked.com on the Barbie box where you can go to learn more about Wicked and other Wicked products. Please tell me they found this out

after they've been distributed. Yes, sir. Certainly, there's pictures of them on shelves. Who predominantly buys Barbies or receives Barbies? Yeah, that's not good, is it? Wicked.com. How many sets of eyes go over that? Yeah.

Are they going to go into these stores and are they going to pull the dolls or are they going to put a sticker over them? On that website, they will. Vaughn. Bit of pulling, bit of pushing. Vaughn. Bit of poking. Vaughn.

Vaughn. Vaughn Allen. Come on, bit of pushing. Vaughn. Bit of poking. Vaughn. Vaughn. Vaughn Allen. Oh, come on, guys. I didn't make the mistake. I'm making fire here. It's so bad. I don't know how they're going to have to do it. We deeply regret this unfortunate error

and are taking immediate action to remedy this. Parents are advised that the misprinted, incorrect website is not appropriate for children, although mum and dad might want to save it for later. Brackets. Consumers who already have the product are advised to discard the package

but this immediately makes this a more valuable, this makes it collector's edition. It does. If you can get it before they,

because they're just going to put a big heavy duty sticker on it, right? Or just replace the box, yeah. The new ones they make they'll do a different

box, right? From here on out but all the ones and they will hit the ground running with the movie merch because it all plays out. We're in Christmas season now.

Yeah. The movie's going to be out immediately. They're going to leave the movies and the gays and the children will immediately want to buy the dolls. Oh, my God, yeah. Young girls, like as a young girl who loved Barbie dolls, I would scream the house down until my dad bought me both these dolls. I would thump the walls and I would slam the doors.

You would slam the door. You slam that door again, you're losing it. I'll tell you what I'm going to lose is my absolute shit if you don't get me that doll. But like yeah, they're going to snap these up. But yeah, now the ones without the stickers on them are going to become

collector's edition. Who's losing their job this week? But then that's like you said before, how many eyes have these things got across? Or is that part of the packaging not important? Of course it's important. I know it's important, but to who? Yeah, who does it? Well, they're in stock at the warehouse.

I'm just looking here. Wicked the Musical. Oops, we can't find that page. Oops, we can't find that page. Oops. Oops, we can't find that page. Go to wicked.com. No, don't. We're at work.

No, don't. It won't let you, I don't reckon. I'll try. I'm not trying to go there. I'm just looking on the warehouse website to see if they've got them. But yeah. So I pop by the warehouse. Well, that could be collector's edition.

Plays. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. You know that my Instagram sometimes feeds me the weirdest stuff. And I'll be like, I don't know how I got here, but I think it's just because I'm- Yeah, neither. I don't know. Why is it showing me this?

I haven't looked up that. Why is it on my explore page? Oh, we know how yours- What does it know? Why is it all hot Brazilian models? No, at know how yours. What does it know? Why is it all hot Brazilian models? No, at the moment, it's literally which Pokemon is your favorite. I said yesterday, I guess because it's both meta, right? Yeah.

Facebook and Instagram. And my Facebook was all that. And now my Instagram's all, my explore page is like, which is your favorite Pokemon? Mine's all over the place, but I just had a giant, I think it's a panther licking a dog. Like a little baby panther. It's real cute.

Big panther's tongue would surely... Shred a dog. Shred a dog. Yeah. Big cat. Cute, that is a big cat licking a dog. I think it's licking a doberman. It's real cute.

I tell you what, when that goes sideways, that's going to be a hell of a fight. Oh, my God. Yeah. I hope that kept videoing. It's in the snow, too. You failed to mention that. It's in the snow as well. It's licking the snowflakes off the dog. Oh my god. Yeah. I hope they get video. It's in the snow too. You failed to mention that. It's in the snow as well. It's licking the snowflakes off the dog.

That's cute. That's very G-rated content. Show me the whole Explore page. Go. Absolutely not. Everyone click their search. Everyone click their search. And go on the Explore page. Jason Momoa, Jason Momoa. Do you know that's what they should do? Someone like

Graham Norton. You know how he gets all these celebrities on? He should be like- Open your Instagram. Open your Instagram explore page. Hit the search thing. Although a lot of them just don't do social media. Nah, or they're on it quite passively. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so my Instagram served me up. What I thought was just a unique bit of content that wasn't going that, oh my God, it's a raccoon getting a belly rub. It's a raccoon getting a belly rub? Is a raccoon getting a belly rub? Dude, that's an obese raccoon. I got that yesterday. Big, fat raccoon.

I love, you know I would love a raccoon, but you're killing it with kindness. Nothing bad on my explore page. I'll have you know. Yeah, mine's pretty tidy today. Mine's actually pretty well behaved. Yeah. Look at that. Well behaved.

Yeah, that's pretty well behaved. There's a lip. I didn't know you were a big fan of the Brisbane Broncos, though. That's crazy. Apparently I am. Yeah. It a big fan of the Brisbane Broncos, though. That's crazy. Apparently I am. Yeah. It'll be because your brother is. Yeah, yeah.

My first nine thumbnails, six of them are Jason. Anyway, so I got fed up this content. It was from a West Midlands chippery called Merchants Fish and Chips in Birdley, Worcestershire. Worcestershire. West Midlands. England needs better names for the areas. West Midlands.

So, Birmingham? What, like North Island, South Island? Or just like middle. Smart. Middle, middle. Because then it's halfway up. Top, bottom, middle. Yeah, top, bottom, middle.

Top, top, middle. Yeah, top, bottom, middle. Top Britain. So it's basically this chick who they film, this fish and chip shop who has an Instagram page, they film fake customers taking an order from their main server called Destiny, who has a tan that I would describe as Trump-esque, blonde hair, big fake nails, but people are obsessed with her. Can I get some fish and chips, please?

Yeah, what size would you like? What size would you like? I'll go for a medium meal, please. Yeah. We are doing haddock. Would you like to try that? Yeah, sure. I'll try a haddock, yeah.

Yeah. Would you like any sauces? Yeah, what sauces have you got? We've got... I don't get what... She just gives the most mad service ever. Do you want any salt and vinegar? Yeah, I'd love loads of salt and loads of vinegar, please.

I can't stop watching. I was expecting it to be funny. No, it is. Wait, because when you look at her, she is like the... Yeah, but it's radio, Hayley. No, but because people need to go and see this. People need to go and say this. Says the guy who just showed a fat raccoon getting a belly rub.

It's radio. We can't hear the belly rub. Everybody imagined a raccoon on itscoon getting a belly rub. It's radio. We can't hear the belly rub. Everybody imagined a raccoon on its back getting a belly rub. Well, everybody can imagine Destiny with her big blonde hair and her orange tan. So I thought this was just a weird bit of, you know, something that had come up on my feed. And because I've been enjoying the videos so much

and followed them, that's why I keep seeing it. No, it's like going viral. She's going viral. Hundreds of thousands of people are following these things. 24 million views on a single video of her just like, can I get some chips please? Yeah, sure. What kind of fish do you want?

I've got hard work if you want to try it. People are obsessed with it. And like every day it's just growing and growing and growing. Chippy Diva. Chippy Diva they call her. And people are doing the thing where they take the audio and they learn to mimic it perfectly and then reenact it. I guarantee you, had Halloween, this is just kind of hitting now,

had Halloween been like coming up, I would have gone as Destiny from Merchant Fish and Chippies from Midlands UK. And you would have spent all night explaining your costume. Yeah. As is the case with all great costumes. Let me get out the TikTok. And everyone's like, Jesus.

I'm just like, Catwoman? Who are you? Catwoman self-expression. Yeah, sure. How many chips do you want? I don't get it, Hayley. I don't get it. Hayley, what are you doing?

We've got hardik too. Would you like some hardik? What's that? Okay, yeah. Enjoy your day. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Well, it's bad news in the utensils department in your kitchen. The black spatulas.

Oh, God, I love my black spatulas. You know, it's all the kind of the non-stick stuff. Yeah. So a new study has found that high levels of flame retardants in some items made from recycled black plastic, including kitchen utensils, toys, and other household items. Tongs. Tongs.

Yeah, black tongs. I mean, the photo here that they've used. Let me see that tong. No, your tongs have silicone at the end, not this plastic. No, it's got the same black plastic as the spatula. Oh, mine don't. And sometimes every now and then you'll be using them on the barbecue and then you'll leave them too close and you'll look again and it's bubbled.

So is that the problem that it's full of toxins and we're putting it into our food? Basically, yeah. When they came for the non-stick pans for a while. Well, they've still come in for those because those have got a forever chemical in them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That full forever.

You slowly chip off into your stir fry. You want that to last forever. Yeah, yeah. I'll pay good money for that pan. I love a your stir fry. You want that to last forever. Yeah, yum. I'll pay good money for that. I love a chemical stir fry. So the black, the black, the black

spatulas and fish slices and scoops and stuff. What? Nothing. You just kind of stopped in that sentence and tripped over yourself

five or six times as you tried to get it back on track. Do you think that's who utensils killing her slowly? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. It leached into your brain. It's my brain. It's the black spatulas.

So what are we meant to do? Go to like the wooden ones that are also black. No, just, I don't know. You know, like a real brown, black, wooden spoon? And you don't clean them properly. You don't clean them properly in the boat? Because you're not supposed to put them in the dishwasher. No, you're not supposed to put any wood in your dishwasher.

I do. I do. I put all my wooden stuff in the dishwasher. Because my dad, when he washes a chopping board, he puts it out in the sun to dry. We leave ours on the rack. I don't put them in the dishwasher, but we've talked before about the dishwashing

loading etiquette in our house. I'll take them out of the dishwasher and put them in the rack. And they need to stay there for ages to dry out because the dishwasher soaks them, whereas if you just scrub them and then put them in the rack, they'll dry away quicker. Better living, everybody. But then the chicken juice is drying in the sun. No, you scrub the chicken juice off.

Are you cutting your chicken on your wooden boards? Yeah, you're not meant to. No, you scrub the chicken juice off. No, you just cleaned it first. You give it a rough scrub. Wait, are you cutting your chicken on your wooden boards? Yeah, you're not meant to. No, I've got a plastic board for chicken. Yeah, but that's why you stop halfway through a sentence

is because you can turn your microplastic into chicken. That's why you go, is it the bleh bleh bleh? Play ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Ah, ah,

ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Fawn and Hayley. Ah, arre arre arre grandre. What?

Why do you always have... Arre arre arre grandre. I'm trying to make her more Spanish than she is. Yeah, well, she's been doing that for years. She's really leaned into the pale aesthetic. She has recently, hasn't she? Wicked. For the wicked thing.

It's a change of everything for her. Now, she's always been Very good at impressions Amazing at impressions So good On SNL You can look up a sketch Where she's working at A radio

A radio It's not how radio works But she's working at a radio hub Where each of the radio stations Start Like The machinery starts failing At different times

And they're like Oh no The classic rock station's down You're gonna need Your eagle's impression And she can nail that Right And then she does Celine Dion is amazing Celine Dion's phenomenal at different times. And they're like, oh no, the classic rock station's down. You're going to need your Eagles impression. And she can nail that. Right. And then Celine Dion is amazing.

Celine Dion is phenomenal. She does a Britney impression. Shakira. Shakira. I think she even does a Bruno Mars impression. How do we know that she's not impersonating herself?

And she's actually someone completely different. Exactly. Ariana Grande is a character. Wow. So she has been doing press for Wicked. Yeah. And Grande is a character. Wow. So she has been doing press for Wicked. And appeared on a podcast

and they asked her to do her Hermione Granger from Harry Potter impression. Can you do your Hermione impression? Do you know what I'm talking about? Ron's been splinched. That? Been splinched? Hurry, Ron. Hurry. Ron's been splinched. Now that's really good.

That's top tier. She's got the nasality. She can push it around. Yeah. The voice goes around everywhere. Yeah. Very talented vocally. Mm-hmm.

And I liked that, and I like impressions. Of course you do. I follow so many impressionists on Instagram, and it's the same, like, they nail, like, eight. There's one guy who is just so good at eight impressions but every post is just the same eight impressions in different situations and I'll watch every one of them because I admire it deeply.

The art of the impression. Some people just have it. So what I want to do is people ring up and do their impressions don't tell us who you're gonna do. You just start and we have to guess who it is So wait, we're going to say, hello Jane

Do your impression And they'll go And we'll be like, you are a duck But we're not after animal noises We're after impressions Like celebrities or singers or anything like that People Why can't we take ducks or animals?

Animal noises. No. Got to be a famous duck. Okay. It'll have to be Donald. It'll have to be Donald, but then that's a character. Okay. I will accept good, like, if you can do an impression of a noise.

Like, what about the pedestrian crossing? Yes. What one did I nail the other day? Oh. Boop. It was a boop. Was it the checkout? No, not that. That's good. nail the other day? Oh. It was a boop. Was it the checkout? No, not that. That's good.

You told me to do that. It was the checkout boop, and I did the self-checkout boop, and we all just stopped. Because it was a really good, you nailed the tone of it, and you could never do it again. Right. Well, maybe you're doing an impression of the bagging area chick. Yeah, maybe.

Or maybe you are the bagging area chick. I mean, that's cheating. That's unappreciating. Maybe you've got a good... A lot of people working on their trumps at the moment. Edie the dogs. Everyone's working on their... What was that one? Edie the dogs.

Edie the dogs. There's no more famous... Edie the cats. Edie the dogs. Edie the dogs. How do you not get in here? You are famous for your Arnold Schwarzenegger. Have you been working on that? Tirelessly.

Okay. Guys, get in the chopper. No. What do you mean? I just don't know why. It almost had a bit of Trump to it. Oh, my God. Guys.

Yeah, I was too close in the back of my Trump. Terrible. Okay, so you want people to call Vaughan. You can call now. 0800-DARLS-AT-M. Yes. Text through. 9696. Well, no, you can't text through. No, but if you can't get through, the you can call now 0800 DARS AT M. Yes. Text through 9696.

Well, no, you can't text through your impression. No, but if you can't get through, the producers can call you back. Yeah, they'll call you back. Give us a text. On your impression. Yeah.

Don't be shy. There's got to be some Jennifer Coolidges out there. Oh, yeah, true. Or some Helen Clarks. Helen Clark is a classic. Helen Clark's a cubic classic impression.

Yeah. Maybe you've got an impression. Fletch and Vaughan. 0800-DARZATM. If you have an impression, call us now. Ariana Grande does a great impression. Many, many great impressions, but she's revealed her Hermione Granger impression.

You sounded a bit Trumpy there. Many, many great impressions. Great impressions. Now, your idea, Vaughan... I was working on my Trump impression yesterday in a voice note to some friends, and they said, you've just got to slow it down. Okay, give us a little bit.

No, I know, it's a work in progress. It's still working. It's a work in progress. So we want you to call us and give us an impression, and we've got to try and guess what it is. Yeah, what it is. I don't know. This is fantastic.

Somebody said their brother can do a really good Kermit the Frog impression, but sadly he's sick, so he can't call in. So I'll do it, because I've got a pretty good Kermit the Frog. Okay, go. Hi-ho, this is Kermit the Frog from Sesame Street. Oh, that's really good. And Kermit was Jim Henson, who also did Ernie. So Ernie was like,

Rubber ducky, you're the one. That's good. Are you just being nice to him? I think. That's good. I'm so much fun. Are you just being nice to him? I think it's really good. It is. No, it is good. I'm awfully fond of you.

Okay, I'm impressed. I like that one. I thought it was good. Suitably impressed. Nellie, good morning. Hi. How old are you, Nellie? Young impressionist.

I'm 10. Yes, she is. Oh, my God. Look at this. Brave, calling up the radio station, going to do some impressions. Okay, give us your impression, and then we're going to try to guess who it is or what it is. I've got two. Is that all right?

Yes, that's fine. That's fine, Nellie. Not too many other callers on the topic. What are we going to have fun? I told you there wouldn't be many. You watch the quality over quantity here at the show, Nellie. Nellie, give us your first impression. Remember, don't tell us who it is.

Okay. We have to guess. Oh, my God. You look like the 4th of July. Jennifer Coolidge! A 10-year-old doing a Jennifer Coolidge. Oh, my God. That's so good.

That was good. That was good. We guessed, didn't we? We guessed, didn't we? We guessed. Okay, good. Give us your second one. I do my makeup in somebody else's car. Lord! We guessed, didn't we? We guessed. Okay, good. Give us your second one.

I do my makeup in somebody else's car. Lord! Oh, my God! That's so great! Do it again. Do it again. I do my makeup in somebody else's car. Somebody else's car. Oh, my God!

That's amazing! Nellie, you're so good! Nellie, don't stop. Don't ever stop doing impressions. Yeah, keep working more and more. I'm working on a couple more, but they're not as good. You don't have to do them. Who are you working on?

What other ones are you working on? Drew Barrymore. Right. Joe C. Warren, Donald Trump. Yeah, yeah, great. Donald Trump. Yeah, you could have a Trump up your sleeve. Four more years of that on here. Yeah, you, great. Donald Trump. Yeah, good to have a Trump up your sleeve. You've got four more years of that orange mess.

Yeah, you can work on that for years. Plenty of times to work on that. Thank you so much, Nellie. That was fantastic. Thank you. So good. Somebody has messaged in saying we've had Kermit the Frog and Ernie from Vaughan. We've had Hayley's Jennifer Coolidge.

Oh, my God. As a time for the Persian rug merchant from Fletch. Oh, perfect. I don't do impressions. I don't do impressions. No, but your impression of a Persian rug merchant from Fletch. Oh, perfect. I don't do impressions. I don't do impressions. No, but your impression of a Persian rug merchant in the markets. You're trying to get me cancelled. This isn't a thing that I do.

Come on, give us the Persian rug merchant. Ethan, good morning. G'day, guys. G'day, Ethan. All right, it's... Don't tell us. We have to guess. But when you're ready, you launch into your impression.

All right. It's the SpongeBob laugh. I hate that. Oh, my God, do it again. Oh, my God, I hate it. What are you doing? I love it. I love it.

There's a trick. There is a trick to it. And it's a lot easier if you're a guy. You say da with a hyper voice and you put your hand on the bottom of your Adam's apple and you just run it up and down. Da. Patrick. Da.

Patrick. Okay, that's really good actually. It's such a good one. It's so weird. Oh, that's good. Round of applause. Really good. We like that. We like that. Thank good, actually. It's such a good one. It's so weird. Oh, that's good. Round number four. Really good. We like that.

Thank you, Ethan. Brendan, good morning. Morning, guys. How are you? Really good. Really good. What's your... Well, don't tell us.

First call. Long time listener. First time call. Oh, beautiful. What a topic to pick up the phone. Your band's been waiting for this. Yeah. Okay.

All right. We're ready. Here we go. Pick up the phone. Yeah. He's been waiting for this. Yeah. Okay. All right. We're ready. Oh, no, your noise gate. The phone's not playing ball 100% on it. Try again. Oh, no, the phone is... The phone gate is... He's not doing an impression.

He's doing a noise. It's not working. Hang on. Here we go. Oh, that was... Oh, my God. He's the home phone. He's the home phone. You're the home phone.

Oh, my God. That's so good. That was really good. How are you doing that? It's just whistling and then flicking your tongue up and down at the same time. That was really good. Really good. Can I have it one more time?

There's something nostalgic about that. Would it work maybe on speakerphone? Try on speakerphone. Oh, yeah, it did. Yeah, okay. Oh, my God. It's so good. Hello, Hayley speaking.

Hello. Hello. Can I ask who's calling, please? I mean, you can use the same thing. It's like the crossing lights where it goes. Yeah, good. This is good. Really good.

Really good. That's really good. That's great stuff, Brendan. Thank you, Brendan. You said this wasn't going to work. Oh, who else is having fun? I'm having a lot of fun. I'm having a lot of fun.

I'm still blown away by the 10-year-old that did the Lord. I know. I know. She bought it. She's great. That was amazing. Adam, good morning. I'm amazing. Adam, good morning. I'm pretty,

sorry, good morning. I'm pretty sure that Brendan just had half a country whistling, flicking their tongue because I was just sitting there going... I know.

I like to imagine people stuck in traffic were looking around and seeing just a weird amount of people going... Like, hats off to Brendan. As a first-time caller, that was an epic call. That's right, Adam.

That's right, Adam. The energy of the show. I love this call of the call. Call of the call of love. We should get Adam in studio more often. What have you got up your sleeve, Adam? Don't tell us, but... Well, yeah, I got a couple of texts here saying I need to do it.

I'm going, I'm not sure how good it is, but we'll see. We'll be the judge. Okay. Okay. Oh, that may have been. Oh, my God, Stanley. Stanley from Family Guy. The creepy guy with the.

No. No, no, no, no. It's the Cleveland from Family Guy. Cleveland. There you go. Not Stanley. I'm Cleveland Brown. Oh, my God.

That's really good. I like that. That was good. Everybody loved the Family Guy impression, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not good. Oh, my God. That's really good. I like that. That was good. Everybody loved the family guy impression, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not good at any of them. Nah. Yeah, that's good.

How often are you asked to pull that one out? Well, actually, to be fair, not that often. I tend to just do it because I'm a bit strange. It just sort of comes down. Somebody does something and I'm like, oh, that's my thing. We like strange people. I like it. I like it.

Fun. This has been fun. This has been fun. Haven't we had fun? Haven't we had fun? Haven't we had fun? I had fun. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Fizzy drink. Fizzy drink. I'm just reveling. It's like Ozzy Osbourne. United Video News. Oh, I know. I'm so sorry. We've been actually wanting to tell you for

a few years. Great news. Those weekly releases you still haven't dropped off, you get to keep them now. They're yours. They're yours. DVDs. Are DVDs still the most high quality version of a video I can possibly get until I get a scratch? 100%.

I love my DVD collection. All those shelves in your house. Shelves and shelves of CDs a video I can possibly get until I get a scratch. 100%. Yes. 100%. I love my DVD collection. I know. All those shelves in your house are so cool. Shelves of CDs and DVDs. There would actually be a good poll. Do you still have DVDs and CDs? CD rack. That's a great silhouetted poll because some people custom built shelves and stuff.

My dad won't let me chuck out his CDs. My dad still has all of his CDs. You don't listen to them. You've got no means of playing them. Are they, are CDs going to do the round and become like retro cool again, do you think? Or they never had that sort of cassette. But cassettes did. And records were kind of like timelessly

cool, but just weren't the easiest way. It's the quality, man. It's the quality when you listen on vinyl, man. It's like no other, you know what I mean, man? It's like no other. It's warm. Alright, Neil Young, calm down. It's got a crackle. Fizzy Drink Week here at Fact of the Day. And today's fizzy drink is, I think we can all agree

that the rankings of best ways to drink fizzy drink is number one's glass bottle. Yes. Number two's can. Gotta be ultra cold too. Yeah. And number three is plastic bottle. Yeah, I agree. I would go,

but above that, I would put in a glass with ice. Glass with ice at home. I'm talking on the road. Oh yeah, on the road. Glass bottle. Glass bottle. Yeah, glass bottle number one

and number two. Yeah. Plastic bottle number three. Completely agree. And people are like, they just taste different. Well, there's proof that they do.

Okay. Oh. No, you go go because carbon dioxide can escape a plastic bottle oh what is your little holes or something little holes in the plastic technically yes they're tiny insignificant but the plastic that plastic um drink bottles are made out of for soda is the air can escape through it. Okay. Ever so slowly.

Ever so slightly. Like you're talking like minute. Yeah, yeah. But if it sits around for long enough, it will lose some of its bubbles, which of course affects the taste. Yeah, because I had a bottle of tonic and it would have been on the drinks trolley for ages.

Like a plastic one? Yeah, plastic one. I hadn't seen it. And I was like, oh, well, I'll use that. And I opened it and I was like, what? Yeah, not good. Not one? Yeah, plastic one. I hadn't seen it and I was like, oh well I'll use that and I opened it and I was like, what? Yeah, not good. Not good? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you had a glass tonic it would have been better. It would have been still

okay? And if it had been stored in a darker place. Yeah, maybe. Maybe kept cold it would have been better. It's been lightly burping itself this whole time. But also aluminium cans aren't just cans because soda has a pH of 2.5. The average soda has a due to the citric acid and phosphoric acid, which you can eat, so don't freak out about it.

But it's the same reason it's bad for your teeth. We'll eat through an aluminium can. And how long? Well, it's got a coating on the inside. Oh, okay. A plastic coating on the inside of a modern aluminium can. So have you ever seen a really old can? No.

Like a fizzy drink, really old can with the old rip tab situations. They had to stop using those because they corroded the metal so quickly. So aluminium's a less corrosive metal, but it still needs a lining on the inside. Otherwise, it would start to eat through it. Or just sizzle through. Eventually, it would corro to eat through it. Or just sizzle through. Eventually, it would corrode your guts, like your teeth. Wow. Interesting.

So glass is the way to go. Yeah. So when your parents told you don't swill that soda around your mouth, it's because, one, it sounds disgusting to everybody else at the table and I'm not raising an animal here. Yeah. And two, it isn't good for your teeth to be squirreled around. No.

Because if it can melt through a can, it can melt through. Good facts. So someone just texted saying, so I'm not crazy for thinking that beer from a can tastes better than a bottle. But no, that's the opposite. A bottle would be better. No, it's their preference, but it tastes different. That's why I said our preference would be,

and I was hoping you guys might have a slightly different take on that. No, no, no. But we're all quite sensible. This is where we are. This is quite normal, aren't we? And classy. And in America, it tastes better out of a glass bottle because more likely that has come over the border from Mexico

where they use actual sugar, not high fructose corn syrup, which tastes like trash. And it's bad for you. Because it's cheaper. It's so much cheaper. Someone wants to know what kind of human would leave a plastic tonic bottle on a drinks trolley. Are you a monster? Well, someone left it at my house and I was like, I'll just put this.

It's definitely not for display. You put that in cupboard. That was hiding behind other bottles. We're just trying to fill out your drinks trolley? Just buy some more drinks. You got a Pam's tonic water on your nice drinks trolley with your like $200 bottle of gin. No, it was Shweppy's. No, it was Pam's. It was Shweppy's. It was Shweppy's. Or was it Pam's tonic water on your nice drinks trolley with your $200 bottle of gin. No, it was Shweppies. No, you went Pam's.

It was Pam's. It was Shweppies. It was Shweppies. Oh, I was at Pam's. I think it was Pam's because that's tonic water and there's no difference. And why am I paying an extra dollar for a bottle of tonic water when it's the same slop? Oh my God, I'll always go value or Pam's. It's the same stuff.

Yeah, I know it is. Fizzy water. Yeah. But you don't put it on your drinks trolley. Have some respect. So today's fact of the day is that soda does taste different out of different vessels due to the leaking of

carbon dioxide. And sort of a sub fact is that aluminium cans can be corroded by soda. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Tay, tay, tay, tay, tay. I mentioned it numerous times today that I've been touring around with the Seven Days Live tour up and down the country everywhere. And it has been a lot of fun, but it's left me rather exhausted because you finish late and then you maybe have a glass of wine in moderation afterwards.

It's classic Sproul burning the candle at both ends over here. It is, yeah. She's a hardworking girl. So yesterday, the night before, I'd only had three hours sleep. I could not sleep. And then I had to get up and do radio from Christchurch yesterday morning because I was bloody tired. Got to the airport and I

knew it. You know me. One thing I'm good at is sleeping on planes. You're very good at that. I cannot stay awake. And I was like, that's okay. I'm flying from Christchurch to Auckland. I'm going to get, you know, an hour 20 in there. That's going to boost me up for the rest of the day. I'm flying from Christchurch to Auckland. I'm going to get, you know, maybe- An hour 20, an hour 15. An hour 20 in there. That's going to boost me up for the rest of the day. I need this.

So I went into my seat. I booked window because I knew it. I know that I like to sleep. Windows, if you just lean against, maybe you put a little hoodie up. I had a hoodie on and the hood was up. And the sunglasses were on and the headphones were on. Picture that.

Yeah, good. Right? Do not disturb in human form. Yeah, good. Right? Do not disturb. In human form. Yeah, that's right. It does annoy me that it was a beautiful day. Was it a beautiful day and you're flying up to South Island and you're blocking it?

It just would have been stunning, I know. Stunning views. And you're asleep wasting it all. I know. Well, I'll be back. But anyway, so hood up, big headphones on, sunglasses on. As soon as I get in there, I've got brown noise because my brown noise playlist is downloaded.

Play against the window and as sure as hell, as soon as that thing starts jiggling around, I'm snoozing. I start to feel everything get a bit deeper. I was like, oh my God, I'm exhausted. Then I feel, you know, I sort of drift into a land. Then I feel slap, slap, slap on my arm quite aggressively. Oh, okay. And I was like, and I thought like that.

I'm snoring. You know, I've got open mouth because I don't look attractive when I sleep on a plane and I couldn't care less. I'm like that. Like this. And the woman next to me is like smacking me on the arm and then she just gestures towards the flight attendant who was there doing the water and the snacks.

I know. No, you don't wake someone up. By sleeping, the automatic rule is I don't want any. Once off the ground is if I'm sleeping, I don't want water or coffee or a biscuit. And I will say the Air New Zealand staff, they know that. They never wake you up to say, No.

Hey, do you want some water? No, I'm asleep. It's not the only meal you're getting on a 15-hour flight. This is a 90-minute max flight. I'll survive without the small cup of water, thank you, and some chocolate pretzels. I'm all good. I was like, and because I was half asleep

and they had the in my ears from the brown noise, I went, oh, I'm fine, and just like turned back around. Now I think at this point I have clearly made it clear that I don't want anything and I really need to sleep and I am actively sleeping and please don't disturb me again. So I was like, I couldn't believe it. I was aghast. That is poor behaviour.

So then, brow noise on again, I drift away. Oh, beautiful. Finally. I need this sleep She's a busy Smack smack smack Again Again

What does that look Like this The lollies You know what The lolly basket I'll say it in New Zealand It's not worth the wake up It wasn't in New Zealand

It was the woman next to me. No, no, no, but I'm saying the molly on the hole. I know they're not waking you up. The flight attendants won't wake you up. God, no. It was the woman next to me being like, the lollies are here. And I was like, do you know what's not here? Me, my rest.

So she wakes me up for some lollies. And I did the same thing. And even the flight attendant wasn't even looking at me She just said this woman thought I just couldn't What do we describe this woman? What do we look at her? Okay, 50s Doesn't fly much?

Not sure, didn't get that vibe Was she flying home or was she living in Christchurch? Felt flying home Flying home? Felt flying home, read a book, I believe Was with her husband Okay How dare she? There might have been a bit of a motherly approach to this Home. Felt flying home. Read a book, I believe. Was with her husband. Okay.

How dare she? There might have been a bit of a motherly approach to this. Maybe. I have literally never wanted to throttle someone more in my life. And I honestly could not believe it. Can we just be clear? The etiquette is if I'm asleep, we're not waking. But also the etiquette is headphones on, don't talk.

Yeah. Don't touch. Don't talk. Don't slap me awake. Yeah, no, don't do that. If she was really worried, take two lo. Yeah. Don't touch. Don't talk. Don't slap me awake. Yeah, no, don't do that. If she was really worried, take two lollies and put one aside. Oh, I've had that before when people have taken something. I got you a lolly.

I got you a little pack of crisps or something like that. No. She woke me up twice in my much needed 90 minute slumber. I was honestly so upset. I'm still upset. I'm really upset. That's bad etiquette. I would put this etiquette on par with, now you're facing down two days of the week

and two moves of very poor etiquette. This morning, Fletch. Sliced up. Thank you, thank you, Vaughan. Thank you. My pleasure. For bringing this up. Thank you.

Fletch has had a bag of green apples when his friend from Costa Rica. Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic stayed. He went to the supermarket unsupervised. This friend of yours was like a lost little lamb in the big city. And so he went to the supermarket unsupervised

and bought a bag of Granny Smith apples. Yeah, and he came home and I said, we don't really eat those here. We don't eat those. Those are for juicing. Those are for tarts. Yeah. Juice and tarts.

Juice and tarts. Yep. And then realised after he had one that- But he must have also purchased a 20 kg bag of green apples because the guy went home months ago and we've been

force fed green apples every morning because Fletch will not just make a tart like a normal person I said give me the bag I'll feed them to the cows yeah

no wasteful wasteful how these apples have lasted this long God only knows they've finally ended but this morning

he's like I've got your apple and he cut us up because every day when he brings an apple he gives us a big slice. For being good boys and girls. For being good boys and girls. It's our reward for being good boys and girls.

Yeah. And then this morning, we get our green apple and we struggle through the ground. They're getting flowery. They're flowery, but they're still got that. They've got no sweetness. Tartness. They're just awful. Only good for a tart or a juice.

Cider. And then we really push these apples down. And then we really just push these apples down. Then we look and he's got himself a big red apple. And he didn't mention it. And he eats the whole thing himself. I'm on to the Pacific Rose. Yeah, but you should have shared with us the Pacific Rose. Thank you for eating that last apple.

It was lovely. Oh, my God. Unbelievable. I mean, what's your Wednesday got in store after Monday? No, it's not Wednesday. I think this show is built on a foundation of genuine friendship, and you have destroyed that today. Single-handedly have destroyed that.

ZM's Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Let me give you a little peek into the sausage factory. Oh, God. Let me open up the big doors. I imagine I'm the Willy Wonka of sausages. You guys are getting a peek at how they say you don't want to know how the sausage is made. It'll put you off the sausage. I'm going to tell you how this bloody show

sausage is made. We do the show here. We go out. We try to live a little during the day. Have some fun things to talk about. And then at the end of the day we all chuck an email together of things that have happened to us. Things we've seen in the news. Things we could possibly talk about. We trawl the depths of the...

And I've got the dirty depths of the internet. Mine are sometimes short because I'm just like, I can't be bothered padding. I'll give you an example. Here's mine from last night. Phona. Ariana Grande does a great Hermione Granger impression. Do you have an impression? Don't tell us who it is.

Ring it up and do it. We'll see if we can guess. We did it. I'll say that was pretty good. I'll say that was fun. That was pretty good. And Fletch was behind it the whole time. Yeah.

From the word go. He was a supporter from the get go. I'll be honest. I didn. I'll say that was fun. That was pretty good. And Fletch was behind it the whole time. Yeah. From the word go. He was a supporter from the get-go. I'll be honest, I didn't think it would work. No. Phone it. This is my other idea for a phone out. We might bank this.

We might do it tomorrow. Who knows? Rural families panic as the government slashes school bus routes. What's the wildest thing that happened on your school bus route? Because I've got some stories. Oh, yeah. I've got a couple of stories. Yeah, that could work. Top six.

Then I said, top six features of $1.2 million Christmas tree. And then I wrote six things that's good that's been used on the show yeah to blend him

goes the sun that's my headline it's about blend him having the most sunlight hours yeah we used that used on the show all killer

no filler pretty good okay there was a couple of fillers at the end I said do you guys know Fonterra selling it's big dairy brands yeah see that's filler

that's filler it's a bit of filler but it's an interesting bit of chat it's not interesting at all who's gonna own Anchor it's not interesting at all. Who's going to own Anchor? It's not interesting at all.

I don't care. The last one was, I love seeing a Grand Designs house for sale. This one by work on the top floor was a very ambitious Grand Designs episode. Oh, is that the one on the old farmers? Yeah. What's happening here is you're actually just thumbing all of your crap left over filler content into the show. So tomorrow I'm going to turn it off. into the show in which we've got 60 seconds left. 60 seconds left.

If we're talking about thumbing in crap, there is no finer thumber of crap than Hayley Sprouse. Shut up! I thought this was interesting. You'll get to a point in Hayley's prep where you're like, she's filling. Yeah. And it's always

a uni-lad link. It's a great website. It's a uni- uni lad link. I believe we're serious on uni links. It's a uni lad, isn't it? Also, I've noticed your padding, Fletch. You take all of everybody else's leftovers and reseed them as your own. We have never called this out. At some point this year, he started filling his prep with our old prep.

You are more than welcome to go through all the leftovers and put them in and let them die. If they didn't make it on the show that day it's dead. It's not going to be good enough for the show the next day. Well unfortunately you're not here to plan the show Vaughan so you wouldn't know how hard it is. I've hit a nip. Yeah actually.

I think all of us need to be addressed here. A load of horseshit that Sproul put in to talk about. What to do when you fall from a skyscraper. From Uniland. Well, it may mostly happen in your dreams. Isn't this helpful information to have?

We live, for example, in the CBD. We're here at the moment. We could fall from a skyscraper at any moment. We couldn't fall from a skyscraper at any moment. You could at any moment. We wouldn't be ever in the perilous position of being at the part of a skyscraper where one might fall well

I thought I found it very interesting and I thought our listeners would be into it so I've read the article it's based off a 26 second

YouTube short by Zach D Films that I will play for you now if you fall off a skyscraper there are a few things you can do

to increase your chances of survival first relax your body by moving your arms and legs to keep them loose keep them loose gotta keep it at this point because the article pulls it out a little bit more and they talk to a physiotherapist who of course is the expert in falling off the building i love that they're not talking about it as if you've fallen from the second floor.

It is a skyscraper. That is the definition of too tall. The YouTube show has a guy that looks suspiciously like Fletch, but a computer-generated version, falling from the, she said, relax your body so when you hit the ground, your body's more easily able to take the impact. What are you, you're falling off a skyscraper?

You're like, okay, chill out, just relax. Shake it off, Shake it off. This could work out all right. All right, Sprout, so it's happened. Off you've fallen. All right, just shake your arms and legs. Keep it loose, Sprout. Point two.

Then aim to land on something that can break your fall like a tree instead of the concrete. So we're swimming in the air now. Relaxed swimming in the air towards a tree. Or an umbrella. A canopy, a shop canopy. Yeah, a shop canopy like a Spider-Man. Sorry, I'm just checking the text machine

to find out how helpful people are finding this. So then they talked to another expert that said, aim for something that will break your fall, like the tree, instead of concrete, saying if you're falling next to a building or off a cliff in the wilderness, you do your best to break your fallen in segments by hitting a ledge, a cliff, a tree, or another object.

It will break up your fallen, divide it into several shorter falls. Shorter falls, that's fantastic information. Which gives you a much larger chance of survival. Okay, right. That's great to think about. Point three! If possible, position yourself to land on your feet

to distribute the shock through your legs, but try to roll upon impact to reduce injury. Roll upon impact. So we're going to land on the feet, we're going to bend on the knees, and we're going to roll. Soften it, soften it. We're landing on, again, the physical therapist,

who I'm imagining is like, how have I ended up with this being an appointment today? It might sound painful, but it could save your life. Land on when you remember you're falling, so you're really hurtling towards the ground. Because I'm imagining I'm falling off the Sky Tower. That's what I'm picturing this whole time. There's no trees.

No trees. There's little trees. Those things will just... You'll just be impaled by them. And they're surrounded by things that'll hurt you. So she said, the physiotherapist said, land on the balls of your feet and point your toes slightly before your knees.

Oh my god! This will allow your lower body to more effectively absorb the impact. So your legs at this stage are a pudding. I think this is an incredible... What an incredible article from you, Hayley. Really good. Good find on the internet. Great information for our listeners to have. There's multiple levels

where this is a real showcase of the problem the media is in. The situation we find ourselves in as the media. One, someone made this video. Yes. It's 26 seconds long. They put it on YouTube. It's had 15 million views and it's only been up for nine days.

So there's people where this is a genuine concern for them. It's good information to have. I think it's helpful. Someone at the Unilad offices is like, look at this video. It's funny information to have. I think it's helpful. Someone at the Unilad offices is like, look at this video. It's funny and informative, but we need to extrapolate it. We'll ask a physical therapist. Yeah, great.

We'll ask a physio. They've dug deeper to verify the information. I suppose so. They've dug deep. Now, they'll put it online. This is a big one for Unilad. It makes the front page. This is great. Hayley Sproul on the other side of it online. This is a big one for Unilad. It makes the front page. This is great.

On the other side of the world. This is information our listeners must have. Click. And she's like, it's good enough for me. And then now we repeat it on the radio. But we should have done oh, 800 dials. And then when did you fall off a skyscraper and survive? By landing on the balls of your feet and then pointing your toes.

Why do we need to? We could just ask a physiotherapist if that's how it works. We'll get one in on the show. And I can't afford to have a physiotherapist, so I'm going to Fans Magic Fingers 60-minute massage where I will, during the 60 minutes of delicious hot stone, of course, with oil massage, we'll ask her these questions. All under a Westfields escalator.

This is incredible. I think this was a great break, actually. Beautiful, yeah Yeah Good from you Yeah good from me actually Really good Oh I just realised I did the whole show With my headphones on backwards

So Well that means the show's backwards then isn't it We're going to have to play this in reverse Well should we speak in reverse And hopefully they'll Work out the other way Give us a review