ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 12th September 2024

Episode Date: September 11, 2024

Cheapest Countries to travel to School Fundraiser Dilly Silly Little Poll - How many outfits do you wear a in a day?Warehouse sending Hayley bowlsTop 6: Relief teachersWhat did you mess up from a youtube tutorial?Devon BriggsGuy MontgomeryQuick Little Poll: Dave Grohl, do we forgive him?What did you find snoopingFact of the DayWomen at the Mexican Cafe Best and worst day for a dateSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Big Friday energy today, but it's Thursday. Toot, it was Friday energy yesterday.

I woke up this morning at 4.30 and messaged you both saying, how the F is it not Friday? Yeah, it should be. Should be. We could make it so. I was just about to say we could make it so. And what, just not turn up tomorrow? What are they going to do? Fire you.

I can't have that. I haven't even had my warnings yet. Oh yeah, I haven't had my warnings. They've got to give me them. They've got't even had my warnings yet. Oh, yeah? I haven't had my warnings. Oh, yeah, right. I haven't had my warnings. Okay. They've got to give me them. By law. Give me my warnings. Exactly. I've got to have my warnings.

On the show, one verbal, two written. Is that how it goes? There's something like that. I don't know. Do you know verbal warnings are given in written form? I didn't know that. That's interesting. Yeah, they follow it up.

Okay, right. Stranger. With a confirmation. I say that because I've had one before. Have you? Yeah, I've told know that. That's interesting. Yeah, they follow it up. Okay, right. Stranger. With a confirmation. I say that because I've had one before. Have you? Yeah, I've told you this. When I had a big night the night before and then I didn't wake up to open up the shop.

That's right. That's right. So the clothing store I worked at just wasn't open for a couple hours because I was... Yeah. Out to it. Okay.

Your chance to win. Sabrina Carpenter live in LA. This draw is happening tomorrow. It's our final trip LA. So a couple of chances on the show this morning. Listen out for the

Mother Trucker Activator. The top six on the way. Yeah, there's a relief teacher shortage because of there's a teacher shortage. Yeah. So the shortage carries over

to the relievers. One school on Auckland's North Shore, or if they prefer Hibiscus Coast, they like to separate themselves from the North Shore. Okay, right. Which is very rude.

Yeah. They, the principal said sometimes up to 20 relief teachers a day. Far out. Well, and needed. Yeah.

That's what they need. Yeah. That's insane, right? What's it just no one's turning up to the whole school? Just lots of teachers off sick and just a shortage

of teachers and everything. God, what a logistical nightmare. So I've got the top six relief teachers that need a step up to the mark.

You know, some people that we could have being relief teachers. This is why you need to be running the country. You're not the first to have said it. Yeah, ideas like this.

Because I said it and then you've said it so now that's been seconded I think we need to take the first to have said it. Yeah, ideas like this. Because I said it and then you've said it, so now that's been seconded. I think we need to take the notion to the board. Yeah. Next on the show. This surprised me a lot. There was a survey done. No, not a survey.

Some research done by a tourism company. Yeah. About the cheapest places to travel in the world. So, some really good, like, tips if you are looking for a cheap holiday. Yeah. But then also one surprise on the list. Yeah, a bit of a surprise. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley.

This was a study by one of those online comparison websites, like travel comparison websites, like Skyscanner or Google Flights. Or Hotel Travago. Yes, Travago. Is that still around? Are people still using that? Yeah. Remember the ads were everywhere and now they're not. Yeah, the Travago girl. Has she been made redundant? I don't know.

She went to clown school. What? You know how Aaron went to clown school in France? She went to that school. Oh, the lady. Yeah, the lady, the Travago girl. Well, he could ask her. I don't think they're close friends. They just went to the same. Oh, the lady. Yeah, the lady, the Trivago girl. Well, he could ask her. I don't think they're close friends. They just went to the same school at different times. Anyway, GoCompare is the one that they researched.

They looked at the data from 2023 on British holidaymakers' expenses working out where they spend the most money. Yeah. Surprisingly not flights, but I guess if you're a Brit, often the flight isn't the worst part. It's the accommodation. It's most money. Yeah. Surprisingly not flights, but I guess if you're a Brit, often the flight isn't the worst part. It's the accommodation. It's the accommodation. Yeah.

And then they worked out where around the world it's cheap to holiday. And here's the top 10 cheapest destinations ranked on, it's basically done by average cost per night. Okay. To stay there. So even if you've got to, I mean, for us it's hard

because we've got to spend so much to get most places. But then, yeah, so do they. They've got to take some long flights to get to places like Thailand. Totally. Yeah. Okay, Hungary was number 10. Yeah.

Sweden number nine, which this list surprised me. That's a Nordic country. It's so expensive. Famously expensive. Yeah. I'll give you the list and then I have a theory. Okay.

Sweden number nine. Eighth was Portugal at about $199 a night. Oh my God, spoiler alert. I said Australia before I said number seven. Number seven was Spain, $194 a night. Number six was Australia, $189 a night. And then five, Thailand for $184 a night. Where are was Australia. $189 a night. And then five, Thailand for $184 a night. Where are you staying in Thailand for that much?

You can get cheaper than that. Thailand's so cheap. That's way too much a night, unless you're staying at like a five-star resort. In which case, why are you trying to look up the cheapest destinations? You're at a five-star resort. That's where you're going wrong. Number four on the list.

New Zealand. The cheapest place. Cheapest. Cheapest. What? Cheapest. So just what they're paying on accommodation. Based on average cost per night accommodation,

New Zealand, $183 a night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, I'd say that's pretty mid. Like you could get a nice place for that much. If you're trying to be a cheap traveller, why, you could get a nice place for that much. Yeah. If you're trying to be a cheap traveller, why are you booking at these nice hotels? Number three was Turkey.

Number two was Poland. And number one, India. India's very cheap. New Zealand's four on the list. But they've kind of, they've made this as like, most affordable travel destinations is how it's been branded. And I'm like, dude, one.

Okay, if you're coming from the UK, you've got to get here first. That's going to cost you like $5,000. Then you're going to, sure, if you can find a hotel room for whatever they said it was, $180 something a night, good for you. You can do that. Then good luck just getting around. Yeah, good luck eating. Good luck eating. Good luck doing anything. Renting a car. Yeah. All of that.

That's what I think is that they haven't actually taken into account because Australia's expensive, Sweden's expensive, Turkey wasn't that cheap to be fair. I think that they're just they're going like oh when you stay

when you stay the night it's cheap as long as you starve the whole time you're here. Yeah. You walk everywhere so you don't actually go and see anything.

Yeah. And you Google free stuff to do and dot dot dot before you get there. You're not going to Hobbiton, let me tell you that, for nothing. I think if you want cheap, you've just got to do Southeast Asia. Southeast Asia. So it's the way to go.

That's why I was surprised that they've got New Zealand ranked cheaper than Thailand. Thailand, one of the most exquisitely cheap places to visit. Yeah, even with accommodation. Especially accommodation. Food, foot rubs. Yeah. Yeah, especially accommodation. Food, foot rubs, $5 foot rub. Well, and just do that thing that most Kiwis do,

like just stay on someone's couch or spare room way too long. Oh, don't do that. Not doing that. Don't do that. Grow up, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't even ask.

Yeah, oh God, no. Next on the show, we don't like to go on about our charity, but this weekend it's the annual charity event, the school fundraiser. Gosh, I've already done charity this week. I can't believe this is my second piece of charity. Two charities in one week. And I did two the week before. I mean this is just insane. Well I don't like to talk about it.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley's. This weekend the annual school quiz night. The school that my daughters go to. I host the event. Yeah we're defending champions. You are. Second time round with the, oh no, third time.

This is our third time. This will be the third time, yes. Correct. What did we go as the first time? Double denim. Double denim. Yep. Last year we won best costume as the Minions. Yeah, that was great. Grew in the Minions. This year, Pirates. Pirates. Oh, you're letting your theme out the bag, telling everybody. I thought everybody

knew. I thought we were pretty, I thought we'd been pretty open and honest about that. Yeah, we'll watch the other teams. I mean, to the other teams. Oh, I don't know, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I actually might go as a computer pirate. Oh. Would that be allowed?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the Pirate Bay. Old goes Pirate Bay. Dot com. I'll just wear a T-shirt with Pirate Bay on it. Yeah. Would that be all right? Yeah, sure.

Yeah, and you can be forever changing what's after Pirate Bay on it Yeah Would that be alright? Yeah sure Yeah and you can Be forever changing What's after Pirate Bay It's dot org Dot Sweden Dot da da da Yeah yeah Remember when they used to

Run around the world Changing their names Oh yeah But it was One particular And they have auctions At these things as well Yeah

At the quiz night This has been a Source of controversy In the past Because you know The idea of these things Is people are a little tipsy. Oh, a little bit. Have a drink or two.

And then they're, um, what do they call them? Silent auctions? There's silent auctions. There's silent auctions and auction auctions. Yeah, and they're running throughout the night and people get excited for these things and they buy things and they're ahead of the moment. Did you see what happened yesterday? Vaughan's dropped me in it again

and I've got to run the auction with him. Like I did last year. Oh, right. Last year. Famously, I always, every year, I get sick the week of the quiz night. You were so sick.

Every year. And I'm coming off the back end of a cold this time. Yeah, that's good. It's always around this time of the year that I'll get my seasonal change. You need to start working on your gut health. Yeah. Get some Viral X in there. Yeah, seasonal change. You need to start working on your gut health. Yeah.

Get some Viral Ex in there. Yeah, gut pills. I've just sort of remained at least well behaved enough to run this auction. To run the auction.

Well, it's auction number nine. The Date Night Pack. Indulge in a romantic staycation with our Date Night Package. Explore a luxury stay, massage and dinner. It includes a night for two

at the Movenpick Hotel. That's fancy. A $300 dinner voucher at Soul Bar and Bistro. That's the place to be seen. A massage for two at So Spa. And one intimate ladies toy.

Donated by Movenpick Hotel Craig Walker Building Removals and Girls Get Off. We've got a dilly up for grabs. And a fundraising quiz in a school hall. Yeah. Donated by a Movenpick Hotel, Craig Walker building removals, and girls get off. Right, okay. We've got a dilly up for grabs. We've got a dilly up for grabs. At a fundraising quiz in a school hall, it seems wrong.

It does. It just seems wrong. It does. And a date night pack. She's going to go finish herself off, and then you're going to be like, all right, we've had our massage, and she'll be like, oh, no. You can hit the ice cream bar at the hotel.

Yeah. It's just assuring that everyone leaves the night satisfied. Satisfied. You know, and sometimes it takes a bit. I think this is so funny. I also, I can absolutely picture the fact that your wife, who loves to bid on these auctions and loves to have one or two rosés before we go,

will absolutely be hooning for this. No, she's been told our contribution to the fundraising is we bring a table this year, two tables of people. Yeah. Yeah, that's lots of money for the school. And I host it for free. Yeah. So that's our contribution to the night.

We don't need to spend any more money. Yeah, I know, but she's waved that hand around. I'll get her rolled up. I'll be like, come on, Sharnay. Any more money. Come on. Don't you want that? It's for a goodani. Give me more money. Come on. Don't you want that? It's for a good cause.

It's for school. It is. That's why we're bringing two tables of people that will spend money and have fun and I'll host for free. Do you know what we're fundraising for this year? It's the school. So all the money goes into a kitty and it keeps the price of going to school camp and stuff down.

Oh. Right. How big is a kitty? Like a kitten. Yeah. No, stuff down. Oh. Right. Yeah. How big's the kitty? Like a kitten. Yeah. No, a kitty. Kitty. Kitty.

Like a small kitty of cash. I always thought kitty, when we say it in New Zealand, was like just a white person's way of saying kitty. Kitty. Like the big woven flat basket and all the money went into a big flat basket. But what's the origins of putting money from the kitty? Money kitty. Money kitty. What's the origins of the term? Origins of, you know, money from the kitty. Money kitty. Money kitty.

Was it a dead taxidermied kitty? In Middle English, a kitty was a wooden tub, which probably came from the Dutch. This gave rise to the modern English kit, meaning a collection of objects intended for a particular purpose. Why? Where it contained a hold such a kit, it is conjectured that kitty is a sense of a collection of money for a particular purpose. Like a kid, right? Or a container to hold such a kit. It is conjectured that kitty is a sense of a collection of money

for a particular purpose derived from kit. Oh, right. Okay. So nothing to do with kittens at all. No, nothing to do with kittens. Not as cute as I thought. It's weird that it's got the same name. Kitty.

Yeah. As in little kitty cat. Yeah. And kitty. Nothing to do with kitty. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Nothing to do with Kitty. Today's silly little poll. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Silly Little Pole. Today's Silly Little Pole. How many outfits do you wear a day?

I thought this was silly, and then I was like, well, actually, you wear your clothes to work. Yeah. Well, I do, and then I wear my gym clothes. Yeah. And then I wear comfy clothes at home, so that's three. And then if you wore pyjamas and not nude, that would be your fourth. Yeah.

Do you not just get back into your clothes you wore to work in the afternoon after the show? No. I do sometimes. Or maybe if it's summer, but in winter I'm wearing jeans. No, I'll wear my comfy pants. Oh, really? Yeah. Or in the summer just wear undies.

Because there's a woman on TikTok who shared that she wears about six outfits a day. For give or take, whatever the day is. But then I was like, that's absurd. And her husband was just roasting her. Yeah. But as Shannon mentioned, like, if I was, say I was doing a show, then you're going, you've got your morning work, then you've got your gym, then you've got,

you'll probably get back into your work clothes. Then you might have. Don't count those as a third outfit if you're getting back into your work clothes. Oh, yeah, you're back into work clothes. Then you would have an evening outfit. Then you would have your at-home outfit. So you're at four. And then pyjamas.

You might be five, yeah. Could be five. Yeah. Give or take. I go work, gym, maybe. Maybe. Farms, like at home, outside getting dirty clothes, and then just knickers to bed.

Wait, but you're at home getting dirty clothes. What are you eating and watching TV in clothes? I'll just stay in those. What are you eating in and watching TV in? I'll probably just stay in those. And your dirty clothes? I'll get back into the clothes I wore to work.

Right. Because I've still got a bit of wear in them. Yeah, right. And then put them out at the end of the day. Okay. And then your gym jams.

Yeah. Because you wear a nice long long sleeve. I wear a long gym jam. Long gym jam. Long tartan. Nightgown. Flannelette gym jam.

How many outfits do you wear a day? Less than two. Eighty-four percent. We put less than two, but two wasn't an option. Oh, yeah. Less than two, would it be one or zero? Yeah. Then the next option would be two.

Good morning to our nudist listeners. I didn't even think of that. Three, four, five plus. Yeah. So do you wear less than two? Two, not allowed. Yeah, not allowed. Or three, four, five.

I think Shannon meant two or less. Yeah. Two or less. That's not what it says. 84%, three, 16%. Zero percent of people think they wear four or more. Or four. Or zero also think they wear four or more, or four, or zero also think they wear five or more.

But I think on a varying day, I think they're getting that wrong. But then there would literally be some people that would go to work, get up in the morning, go to work, and then get home still wearing those clothes and just take them off and shower and go to bed. Yeah, so it would be maybe one or two. I suppose if you're not a gym girl, you just hang out in your clothes. Julia says,

gym, work, comfy clothes, PJs, maybe an outfit change between depending on temperatures. Yeah. So that's five for Julia, which is weird

because the response in the five category was zero percent, Julia. What did you click? Julia, we're going to need Julia to go back and change her vote.

Hang on. It was so insignificant that it didn't register as a perceived vote. There are a couple in there. So 5,000 votes in two or less, and then seven votes in five plus, which just didn't even register. Yeah. Dan said, generally two, work clothes,

and when I get home I have to get into pants without a judgmental waistband. Yes. Yes, it's got to be a bit of giving that waistband. I've got to say. Gemma, new mum, so I'm constantly changing outfits because God knows what I'm covered in. Although when I was working, I generally say two to three a day.

Work, gym, something comfy. Caitlin, scrubs for work, active wear. That's not even our Caitlin. That's another Caitlin that wears scrubs to work, active wear. That's not even our Caitlin. That's another Caitlin. That's another Caitlin. That wears scrubs to work.

Wow. There are two nursing Caitlin's. There's two nurses called Caitlin who spell their name the same way. Not a Y in sight. It should be like taxi driver IDs. Once someone's got your Caitlin, once someone's got your name, you've got to be Caitlin 1. You've got to mix it up. Yeah.

Yeah, 1. 2, 3, oh my God. Active wear to exercise and something else if I need to run errands. So she's saying three, but I don't know what she's wearing at home. But then what's she wearing to work? Because you just said scrubs. Scrubs to work. On the way to work.

Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. I would have thought that would have been a bit cold on like a day like today. You'd have a hoodie. Okay. PJs, uniform back into PJs, says Brooke. Everyone else makes enough dang washing in this house. Adam 1, why would I need to wear more?

There is a man that gets up and puts on clothes and takes them off at the end of the day. Love it. Love that. Because I don't feel the need to wear four effing T-shirts a day like my husband. I do the bloody washing, said Renee. Okay. Why is he wearing four different T-shirts? He's just trying to stay fresh for her.

Okay. So many. Courtney says, work clothes, active wear for a walk, after work, clothes for cooking, general activities,

comfort clothes for relaxing and then finally PJs. If you've done your cooking, if you're going to do some relaxing, just get straight into the pyjamas. Maybe she's got some

aromatic spicy foods on the go. or a greasy, you know, you want to smell like a grease shop. My pyjamas, my dress, but not ready for the outside world because I'm postpartum outfit. Then my gym gear and or outside outfit I wear,

which includes a bra for the first time. Oh, yeah. She's been rocking around. No bra. Postpartum. But now she's had the baby, so she's got to strap down the... I was going to say strap down the milk jugs. Jeepers, creepers.

Previously, free-range milk. Now they're strapped in. Strap down the milk jugs. Strap down the milk jugs. Do swimming speedos count as an outfit? Richard's making the inquiry. That's a really good point, actually. That's gym gear.

You would add another one. But then I would add another one for the days that I would go swimming. Togs. Oh, okay. You should start working out at the gym in your togs and your speedos. No, I don't think so. Just set the outfits down. I don't think so.

Straight in. Well, that's a little... Okay, we mentioned earlier in the week that Kmart, actually, was doing a cabbage bowl dupe, and they're all the rage. Couldn't get your hands on them. I'd kind of seen these in the past, these cabbage bowls. So the original cabbage bowls is by this. I'm going to stick with my original.

Ours by who? The original cabbage bowls is by an artist called Bodelo Pinheiro. He is a Portuguese caricaturist. And they're like these absurdist sort of cabbage leaves made into ceramic bowls from 1884. I was going to say they were 80s. No, 1884. Oh, 1884. Yeah.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're like super old and now the company still uses all the moulds. And my mum used to collect these, and so I've always revered them. And then I went into Kmart and saw them, and I was like, oh, my God, they're doing juke. Juke. Cabbage bowls. And now everyone on TikTok's got cabbage bowls, and everyone's doing them.

And you spoke about this, what, a couple of days ago on the show? A couple of days ago, because I was like, oh, my God, because the genuine ones, shall we say, are very expensive. Like how much are we talking? Like for a small bowl, you're like $120. Okay. They're decorative. You know, you're not serving your bloody Sunday soup in them.

Anyway, and then when we were... God, you're going to turn into one of those... Are they dishwasher safe? Oh, God, surely. But you're going to turn into one of those, like, our safe? Oh, God, surely. But you're going to turn into one of those, like our parents that have a cabinet full of crap that you're not allowed, you weren't ever allowed to touch.

No. Or use. It's just pointless. No, I'm not precious with my precious things. Okay. They're there to be enjoyed. Right. The taxidermy is there to be patted.

The bowls are there to be eaten from. Okay. Anyway, gently. Pat him nicely. He's a fox. Anyway, so when we were talking about this on air, I was Googling them, and then I was like, oh, my God, the warehouse is also doing juke cabbage bowls.

And yesterday I got a message from our lovely receptionist saying there's a fragile courier here, and I said I know exactly what that is. And the warehouse have sent me their jup cabbage bowls. They're pretty bloody good. They look quite robust. Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying hard floor robust but like and that suits your kitchens

all green too. My kitchen. Did you see how aggressively I just dropped this bowl? You nearly did drop it. I think they are robust because I had it on my lap and then I shuffled in the chair and it smashed against the desk and it's still bloody good. It's great. It's a good jupe.

Not bad. So I'm looking it up. Hang on. Cabbage bowl. Veiny. Veiny. Oh, they run a thick vein. For those that can't picture them, they just look like cabbage.

They look like cabbage leaves. They're ridiculous. Yeah, they're cabbage leaves formed into a bowl. But to be fair, I mean, if you want the real deal, right, your bowl this size, say you're looking at a couple of hundred bucks, this big bowl, which I would call, I'd call that your fruit bowl. Oh, my God, I thought you'd smashed it. I just put two together.

That's quite nice. Organically shaped. Yeah, that's nice, man. Almost sounds watery, doesn't it? Yeah, and again. Beautiful. Like the water version of wind chimes. I can't work out if that's nice or grating.

Same. In between. I like it and then I don't, and then I like it and then I don't. Short bursts. Short bursts. Anyway, so for this fruit bowl size, right, that you would probably pay a couple of hundy bucks for the Italian version, $22 from the warehouse.

Oh, that's good. Good from there. I say non-spawn, but they did give them to me. But I just think... Are you hashtag gifted? I'm hashtag gifted. I'm not spawn. Hashtag gifted.

It's not a pay partnership. Hashtag collab. No, no, no. Hashtag gifted. Honestly. Oh my God, can you put my fruit in there? Yeah.

There you go. Fruit bowl. I've got a banana we could add. Have we got a studio fruit bowl? I love this. I want my banana back. I love this. We've got a studio fruit. add. Have we got a studio fruit bowl? I love this. I wore my banana bag. I love this. We've got a studio fruit bowl.

No, no, no. If it goes in the bowl, it's now communal, which is great because now I'm in charge of the show apple. If I put the banana in, that's just the excuse we need for a post-show breakfast. Oh. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Twist my arm.

This is good. This is good from them. Really good from them. I'm never angry. I'm just putting the banana in the bowl. Now we've got bananas. We've got mandarins We've got apples

This is great Oh my god I'm never mad at a juke Because it makes fun things Like cabbage bowls More affordable It is weird Putting real fruit

Into a not real brassica Into a cabbage Yeah Yeah Yeah Kind of like we shouldn't Be doing that Feels wrong doesn't it

Yeah Using fruit To store our vegetables What else can we put in the bowl? Our keys? Am I right, boys? Let's see. Play ZDM's Fletchford and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

This is the Top 6. Well, teachers, they work hard. Oh, they work hard. Raising our kids. For us. Working hard, raising our children for us us because we can't be bothered. Can't be bothered. But there's a shortage.

Well, you could homeschool. Oh, my God. I just said I can't be bothered. Imagine. What part of I can't be bothered don't you understand? Yeah. Also, they'd be all like hunting and like outdoorsy stuff for the kids. No math.

Oh, there'd be some math. They'd be like, I done for the kids. No math. There'd be some math. I'd be like, I done shot the deer there. Yeah, but did you done hung it up? Yeah. Yeah, go look outside. I seen it. Okay. As long as you said you done it.

So there's a, what do they call them? After primary school, after intermediate college, high school. Yeah. The word completely escaped me there. Maybe you should go back to high school. I'll go back so I can have better recollection of words on the spot. Yeah. The principal is saying up to 20 relievers a day, which is insane stuff.

That's surely like every teacher at the school. Yeah. It's a big school. It's a big school. It's a big school. Lots of teachers. But, you know, there's a shortage. It's a big school. It's a big school. It's a big school, lots of teachers, but you know, there's a shortage, sickness tears through schools,

as we well know. And so there's a problem getting that many relievers and keeping some sort of consistency and it'll affect the kids. Yep. So I've got the top six answers to the relief teacher shortage. The six peoples and or things that could be teaching.

And or things. Interesting. Bit of a tease there. Number six on the list of the answers to the relief teacher shortage. Prisoners. What are they doing? Right, so you reckon let some of them out to teach. Oh, no.

They're not all awful criminals. The white collar criminals. Oh, like some fraudsters. Yeah. They could do the math. Yeah. The economics. The white collar criminals. Oh, like some fraudsters. Yeah. They could do the math. Do math. The economics. The accounting.

Yeah. They'd be like, this is where I went wrong, all right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went a little bit too heavy on the personal drawings. Yeah. That kind of set off a flag. Yeah. I should have invested more in like establishing other companies,

more shell companies, different shell companies. I'm learning. I'm learning. Divert, you know. And they could give them ankle monitor bracelets so they don't take off. No, no, no. One of those things off the back of their neck

in the Suicide Squad. Oh, yeah. They're constantly monitored. If anybody doesn't like it, they push the button and their head explodes. Here's a better idea. Why don't we just bring the kids to the prison? Put them in the prison.

And that'll also scare them off crime. Oh, my God. And make use of public transport. Yes. To the prison. Put them in the prison. And that'll also scare them off crime. Oh, my God. And make use of public transport. Yes. I love this. How hard is it to run a country? How have we already solved this and there's five more options? Yeah.

Number five on the list of the top six answers to the relief teacher shortage. All those poor people that were working for the government that lost their job when the government said, oh, we've got to strip back government employees. Get them back working for the government teaching. Ha, take that, David Seymour. What have they been doing? Yeah. Nothing.

Frantically searching for jobs in a market with, you know, terrible employment and no jobs. Get them back teaching. Here's a job. There are jobs. It's teaching. Yeah, and they're back working for the government. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Number four on the list of the top six answers to the relief teacher shortage. What about the smart kids? Oh, my God. Get the smart kids to do it. Oh, yeah. We used to already do that a bit at high school. Really?

Yeah, like when you do chutes with older, smarter students. How did that go? I don't know. I wasn't dumb enough to need one. Oh, okay. But I wasn't smart enough to be one. To be one. You're in the middle of the road of less work.

In fact, if you were smart, you wouldn't want to work too hard and be too good because then you'd have to do extra. Number three on the list of the top six answers to the relief teacher shortage. It's about time the PE teachers started stepping up, I reckon. Is it right? What are they doing, eh? All they do is a beat test.

What are we doing, the beat test again? Road climbs. Sprints. Good morning to is the beep test. The beep test. What are we doing? The beep test again? Road climbs. Sprints. Good morning to all of our PE teacher listeners as well. Appreciate your work. Do the beep test today. Are we also the preferred station for PE teachers? Well, there's a lot of lesbian crossover as well.

Lesbian PE teachers? My PE teacher was a lesbian. Was she? Yeah. Was she? Yeah. I mean, that goes without saying she'd listen to the show, but I thought that would have been because she's a lesbian.

Yeah, yeah, true. I think she was here as a lesbian as opposed to a PE teacher. Okay. Well, good morning to her. Good morning. Gay and non-gay PE teachers. Yeah. All of you.

Number two on the list of the top six answers to the relief teacher shortage, YouTube. Oh, yeah, just put it on in class. Yeah, you can learn anything on YouTube. You can learn anything on YouTube. You can learn literally anything. We're about to delve into that more soon, and it turns out not always. Yeah.

Not always a good idea. And number one on the list of the top six answers to the relief teacher shortage, that guy that's hanging out outside of the school in a van. He's just hanging out. He's always looking. I think he really wants to come in. He's obviously free.

He's always there during school hours. Yeah, he's got nothing to do during the day. I reckon we get him in and get him teaching. What's he doing with his day? Seems like a really nice guy. Great with kids. He's super friendly. Super friendly.

Except to the adults. But that's good because you want him to concentrate on the task at hand. Yeah. Yeah. And he's got the van for field trips. Should we need it? We'll go to the museum. Te Papa.

We're not letting him in the school, Vaughn. Oh, absolutely not. Wow. Yeah, that's fair. That's the next up six. Te Papa. We're not letting him in the school, Vaughan. Ah, absolutely not. Wow. Yeah, that's fair. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Not a great story on my hands here.

No, it's quite grim, isn't it? Pretty grim. There was a young man, he was complaining of stomach pains, and this is in India. Yeah. And his father went to the local medical centre and said that his son had these pains. The doctor, quote unquote,

Yeah. said it's gallstones and we've got to get them removed. We're going to have to go to surgery. So this isn't a medical centre, not a hospital. Yep. So the doctor then informs the father he better pop to a local petrol station and get some diesel in case they need to transport the son to a bigger hospital. Wait, diesel for the ambulance?

No, no, diesel. I don't know. Diesel for his car? I don, no. I don't know. Diesel for his car. I don't know. I don't know. During this time, the doctor began the surgery in the clinic without consent. During the surgery, it was reported that the doctor started looking at YouTube tutorials on his mobile phone for instructions on how to remove gallstones. Jeez, okay.

And eventually that young man did die because this was in fact not a doctor. This was a man posing as a doctor who thought that he could get away with surgery by watching a YouTube tutorial. Only a man would do that, eh? It was a man. It was a young, only a man would do that.

Not the first time this has happened in India. There was only last year another woman was found guilty of forging a medical licence to become an anaesthetist. A what? An anaesthetist. An anaesthesiologist. An anaesthesiologist.

Which is one of the most important jobs in that room. Yeah, right? Because otherwise... Too much and they're dead, right? Yeah. Too much, they're dead, not enough, I'm feeling it all and I'm awake. Yeah, yeah.

A number of counts. They basically, they get charged for, they're being sentenced for murder. Yeah, yeah. A number of counts. They basically, they get charged for being sentenced for murder. Yeah, right. Because that's what it is. It's very reckless. Anyway, this story aside. We were talking about it this morning and that's when Shannon said that she tried to,

not a YouTube surgery, but you tried to YouTube something and it didn't go well. Yeah, I tried to do jump-starting a car. Right. And we just couldn't do it. Jump-starting, like connecting it to another car? Yeah.

So you put the cables on, but why didn't it work? Well, I don't know. I didn't do it. But you followed the YouTube video. Yeah, we watched a video, couldn't do it, ended up just asking a random man for help. Sounds like she put it on the plastic bit. Yeah, I think you put it on the plastic bit.

Didn't peel back the battery. I don't know. You know there's a cover on the battery terminals? You've got to reveal the metal. Yeah. Did you put it on the metal or the plastic? I don't know, but it sounds like maybe the plastic. I don't know.

I mean, bless, this is the woman yesterday who said she wanted a pre-nub a pre-nub not a pre-nup yeah yeah but i think like because youtube tutorials are great i use them all the time cooking renovation stuff you're just going like oh how do you do that or like da da da but it sometimes it doesn't go well and it can't teach you the same as like a full education or someone showing you in person, training, all these things. So this morning we want to know, what did you mess up from a YouTube tutorial?

Not what did you learn or what went well. Maybe it was like a DIY disaster. You were like, I can do this myself. I've saved money. We don't need a plumber or an electrician. No, how to tile a bathroom. How to waterproof a bathroom. YouTube.

Car stuff's always, car or engine stuff's always a ripper. Because you're always doing this. You take stuff apart and then you're just like, oh, God. But you are, to your core, a handy person. You're going to figure things out. Yeah. But someone like me who would go like, oh, there's a noise in my car. I'm not just a YouTuber.

I would stuff it up. There's no way. Yeah, there's no way I could do that. It doesn't make sense to me. You've kind of got to know what the problem is to YouTube, what to a noise in my car. What does YouTube? I would stuff it up. There's no way. Yeah, there's no way I could do that. It doesn't make sense to me. We've kind of got to know what the problem is to YouTube, what to do. Yeah. Well, we always talk about how well things go from YouTube tutorials

and what you've taught yourself. But when did it go bad? 0800 dials at M. Give us a call now. You can text through 9696. What went terribly after learning something from a YouTube tutorial? What did you mess up from a YouTube tutorial? There was a doctor, someone posing as a doctor in India

thought that they could remove gallstones in a surgery and the patient died. They didn't, yeah. Patient died. I mean, obviously we don't want grim stories like that. We don't want the extreme stories like that. But so many people are trying to save a couple of dollars around the cost of living crisis.

Things are so expensive. Maybe I can fix this myself. Yeah. Watch a YouTube tutorial. Yeah. Not always. A lot of people want to learn a skill. Sarah, what did you fail on with a YouTube tutorial?

My blonde oil from my hair. Oh, no Oh no. Too blonde, not blonde enough. Ginger, or did they fall out? I didn't really leave it long enough. I died over a brunette straight away. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Did you do that thing when you're watching a tutorial on YouTube where you just kind of skip? You're not in the mood to watch all of it, so you're skipping? Cut to the good bit. Kind of. I just thought I could, yeah, because my friend was my hairdresser, but she went on maternity leave early, and I desperately needed them done, and so I thought I could do it myself.

Wow. How did it look in the end? Out of 10, what do you give yourself? The final product or the blonde foil before I died over it? Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, so you took care of the final product, or you went back I died over it. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, so you took care of the final product or you went back to a professional? I'm through and eat now. Yeah, you just put a box dye over the top. Yeah.

Okay. Will you ever try it again? We have another whack one day. Um, no, I'm going to go back to my friend. Yeah. We've learned, haven't we? We've learned. We've learned, yeah.

Not as easy as a lot. Sarah, thank you. Teresa, what did you mess up on a YouTube tutorial? I tried to replace my iPhone screen. I went to Trade Me, bought the replacement screen, bought the little screwdrivers, the tiny, tiny, skinny screwdrivers that you need, took it all apart. And then when it came to putting it back together

with the replacement screen, I just couldn't make it work. And then each of the screwdrivers are different sizes to go into different places, but I just put all those screws into a little pile, so yeah. Oh, yeah, no, you're going to keep your... I would never do this to my phone. How much were you trying to save? Like, what did you spend on the replacement screen and the little screwdrivers and stuff?

I think like 50 bucks all up. But I think back then, it was like an iPhone 7. So an iPhone 7 Max or some rubbish like that. So it was so expensive to replace screens back then. Yes, that's right. It was like the cost of a new phone. Yeah, so I was like, but I ended up having to biff the whole thing.

Oh, that's crazy. You don't have the dexterity of tiny seven-year-old Chinese labourers, have you? No, yeah. I mean, it's probably labour. Oh, gosh. Teresa, thank you. Some messages in.

I thought I could squeeze my dog's anal glands that were infected. Ow. I mean. Is there a YouTube tutorial how to squeeze your dog's anal glands? Yeah. Of course. There's a YouTube tutorial for literally everything. Can we say to all the people that upload a how-to video,

bless you and thank you. Thank you. So generous. I was so bad when there's some really niche one. Yeah. Like I was trying to fix this part on my quad bike, and it was the most niche. I finally found out what was the problem. This guy, and it had something like 35,000 views.

I'm like, is it because 10 people have watched it like 3,500 times each because you've constantly got to be rewinding and rewatching? Guys, I'm on YouTube. There are hundreds of videos on how to squeeze your dog's anal glands. My question is, how often are we squeezing anal glands? Is this a thing? Is this a regular thing with dogs?

It's because dogs have been bred poorly, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a whole lot of situations. Oh, my God. You've got your finger up. It's took us. Yeah. What?

You have to put the finger in? Yeah, and then you're like, it's like squeezing a pimple. But the pimple is like a semi-internal gland. How do you express your dog's anal glands? That's the word. That's the word. Because I was thinking milk, but milk's not the right word. Ew, yuck. Ew, yuck.

There's some vets teaching us how to. Ew, no, I'm sorry. Yeah, and there are always tiny dogs too with tiny, tiny butts. Always little overbred dogs. Not like massive dogs with gaping bum holes, you know. They're going to make it easy. Oh, for God's sake. There's another one called how to empty your dog's anal glands.

It's too much. Have you ever smelled that? I'm sorry, but breakfast isn't happening this morning. Oh, my God, Vaughan. I called you, Aaron. Someone said, how many times have I watched a tutorial on how to fold a fitted sheet? Still, for the life of me, can't fold a fitted sheet. Oh, yeah, I just chuck it in a pillowcase.

Ball it up. Yeah, yeah. No, you didn me. Can't fold a train. I just chuck it in a pillowcase. Ball it up. Yeah. Yeah. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. That lightest text. No, you didn't. I gave myself a tattoo in the mirror.

Yeah, I don't believe that one either. Okay. I think that's a lie. And they spelt the word backwards. I think it's a gag. Oh, you think it's a gag? I think it's a gag. Right.

I followed a YouTube tutorial on cutting my own fringe. Epic fail. It was about one and a half years ago, and my fringe has now only just grown long enough to tuck behind my ears. Yeah. You've always got to go long, and you can trim, but you can never go longer.

You can't grow it in a second. Yeah. I had gel nails where they would build the nail on top. After two weeks, I'd semi-killed three nails and decided to remove them. How hard could it be? YouTube clip said it was easier just than nail polish remover and tinfoil. Yeah, nah, by the end of the first three nails, I'd made myself bleed and my nails are still brittle to this day.

That's why you have the professionals. Yeah. I YouTubed a male Brazilian. Oh, no, you don't do that to yourself. And now my husband's asked for a prenup. He's got a prenup. Take him to a professional. No, or just let it,

just give it a trim, just give it a tidy. We don't need to be ripping it all out. I googled how to remove an old frosted film from the windows in our house. Didn't have a heat gun so I used my hair dryer instead. Needless to say, I cracked the window with too much heat. More expensive to replace the

window than just paying a professional to remove the film in the first place would have been. I used the YouTube tutorial to learn how to ask girls out. She said she wasn't into me that way. Aww. I'm going to Google YouTube, how to ask a girl out. Okay.

There's so many. Tried to embed the flowers from my wedding in resin. Didn't do it properly and they all rotted, but it cost me a fortune. Resin's not cheap. Yeah, resin's not cheap. Asking a girl out can be a nerve-wracking thing to do. Take a breath and remind yourself that you're awesome. And if she says

no, it's okay. Try it on me. Try it on me. Hang on. If you want to ask a girl out, you were talking alone, have a good time together, then be upfront and say, I'm just following along with subtitles. Okay. Something like, hey, Fletch, I really like hanging out with you. Would you want to go on a date sometime? Or there's a new movie coming out this weekend.

Do you want to go see it together? No. Not even as friends? I'm okay. Okay. Okay. so that didn't work That's crazy That was so charismatic That was horrible

That was horrible to witness That was horrible to witness Why did you do it in front of me? Now you've ruined my day Do you want me to try it on you? You've ruined my Do you want to go to the movies This weekend Fletch?

I'd love to Yeah I thought so Thank you What did he do differently That I didn't do? He buys popcorn. I buy popcorn and I got a massive hog.

That's how you get the ladies to go to the movies with you. If only there was a YouTube tutorial on how to get a massive hog. We've been following

the Olympics and the Paralympics with great interest. Very proud of all our Kiwi athletes. Athletes. Athletes. Athletes. And we're joined in studio by Devin Briggs.

Hello, welcome. Morning, everybody. You are a paracyclist and you've literally just returned from Paris. Yes. 20 hours? Yep, we got off the plane yesterday morning, spent the night in Auckland, and now we're here. Why the... I mean, we're happy you're here,

but God, I'd be like, God, give me a break. Yeah, it's been a bit of a rough journey getting here, but we're good. I know. So if you haven't been following Devin, Devin, you was in Switzerland. You had an accident, and then you basically went to the Paralympics

fresh from hospital. Yep. What was your injury? Your coccyx? Yep. Cowbone. Ran over by a bike, broke my sacrum. So I've got a fractured sacrum right now.

A sacrum? I didn't even know it. Yes. No? Arse. Arse? Oh! But you're a cyclist.

Yes. Famously, you need your arse. Yes, you do. You sit on it. Hurt a little bit, but managed to break out of hospital. Oh, my God. When I was at drama school, I chipped. She can do this, by the way, any story.

Any story. You're telling us about your training for the Paralympics. I've got a relatable story. You break your ass, and she's like, funny story. When I was at drama school. And she can do it to anything. You just watch. But when I was there, we'd do a lot of rolling around on the ground and I chipped just such a tiny little bit at the edge of my tailbone.

I've never known a pain like it. I can't even imagine the pain you must have felt when a bite went over you and you broke it. It felt like a constant lumbar puncture. Like it was that painful. So then, okay, so in your head this happens and you're like, that's not ideal, I'm off to the Paralympics. First to Paralympics, you're 20 years old. Excited to go, you still go.

Yep. And then you compete two of your races. You don't quite make your medals that obviously you were wanting and then you had to make the decision to pull out. How hard was that? It was insanely hard. What was the medical advice you got? Was it like, if you go and do this, you could do yourself some damage ongoing?

I had about six doctors in Switzerland tell me no riding bike for six weeks. And we were like, oh. You were like, I'll get a second opinion. Same thing. Third opinion. Fourth opinion. Sixth opinion. You're like, I'll get a second opinion. Same thing. Third opinion. Fourth opinion. Sixth opinion. I'm going to stop asking these doctors.

Oh, my gosh. So we spent five days in hospital in Switzerland and broke out, got into the village, and they're like, yeah, you might be able to compete potentially. And then we're like, yeah, screw it. We'll compete. What's the hospital food like in Switzerland? Do you get a little tableau, right, for dessert?

No. Or some cold cut meats? It was really disappointing. I got bread and water for breakfast. Oh. What? He's training for the Paralympics. Bread and water's no good.

Yeah, I had a big lunch and a small dinner. Oh, my God. Okay. I mean, yeah, that must be incredibly disappointing. But, you know, one, we're still incredibly proud of you for even going to the Paralympics. You've set world records before and you're 20 years old. Like, you'll go again and again and again and again.

You just said that you want to go eight times. Yep. I've got to beat the record. I've got to beat Michael, our shooter. He's up to seven. So I've got to beat that. So you've got to go eight times. He's been to seven Paralympics.

Yep. And they're four years apart. Yeah. He's been gone for a while. Wow. 28 years. No, let apart. Yeah. He's been gone for a while. Wow. 28 years. No, let me do it. Oh, God.

We don't do maths on the fly. He went to quite a low-decile school. 28 years. Holy moly. Yeah, I know. But you've got enough time to do it. Now, I did ask you off mic before. First question, actually.

First question. I said, did you have one of the Paralympic village muffins? Because that was one of the things they said when it changed from the Olympics to the Paralympics. Will the Paralympians get the muffins? And they confirmed it. We got the muffins. We got the muffins every day.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Were they good? They were okay. Oh, do you think it's because they were built up so much for you? On social media? Yeah, they were a good muffin. It was chocolatey. We had gooey chocolate on the inside, but it was...

Warm or cold? Cold. Cold, okay. Oh, okay. So is there a microwave there for 10 seconds in the microwave? Yeah, I can take 15 seconds in the microwave. There's no microwaves. The French put it on microwaves, don't they?

Yeah, they would. This is France. Do you think that because you're a Kiwi and we come from like cafe culture that we just have a higher expectation from our muffins? And the coffee. The coffee was terrible. Yeah. Oh my God, it's awful over there.

But so you're there at the Paralympics, there to achieve your dreams. You've got a broken ass and it's not going to plan and then you get food poisoning. Yep. Devon, someone didn't want you to be at the Olympics. Yes, he was. Definitely not the journey I imagined my first Paralympics being.

So what happened? Was it the muffins? It could have been the muffins. Listeria muffins. Listeria muffins. I'd spent a night just up all night in the toilet. Oh. Wasn't the greatest, but.

Gosh. Didn't get to see Paris the next day Which was kind of sad with my family So when you made the decision that you Had to withdraw from competing Did you hang around? Did you watch some events? Yeah still stayed in the village Had my partner, mum and dad over there So got to hang out with them

Spend time with them and just Enjoy the experience Imagine being the parents of a Paralympian You'd be super proud My mum must be so embarrassed Again it's not about you And just enjoy the experience. Oh my God. Imagine being the parents of a Paralympian. You'd be super proud. My mum must be so embarrassed. Again, it's not about you. Yeah, sorry.

It's about you. Tell us about your time at acting school. I've already shared one story with Devin. I think it's overkill. It's overkill. But was it amazing, especially because it was a difficult experience having your partner and family there? Yeah, it was good. It was really helpful.

I don't think I would have been able to compete in race if it wasn't for them actually being in that drive to go on to. That's so nice. What's next, Devin? What's next? What's the plan? Have a month off, recover, heal up, and then... Oh, yeah, I forgot about your injury because you're just...

Because you're so chill. You're so chill and just go on with it. Yeah, no, recover, rest up, and then oh yeah I forgot about your injury because you're just because you're so chill you're so chill and just go on with it yeah no recover rest up and then get back into it and train for LA hopefully get some world records

get my world record back in September next year at Track Worlds hell yeah and go from there Devin we will be following with great interest and we will follow you

all the way to LA where we know you'll kill it thank you so much for coming in thank you guys for having me play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley We'll follow you all the way to LA. We know you'll kill it. Thank you so much for coming in. Thank you guys for having me. Well, it's just guest central this morning. Oh, God, a revolving door of guests.

After guests. We just had a guest. You may feel the seat is hot. We have Paralympian Devin Briggs in. Oh, wow. And our guy Montgomery's here. That's a huge one-two punch. How have you overcome adversity, Guy?

Well, I was born. No obstacles were put in front of me. And it's all gone swimmingly. That's actually a really similar story to the people on Fetchport and Hayley. It's actually all gone quite swimmingly so far. How are you, Guy? Welcome. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. I'm good. I'm here because I made a TV show about spelling.

Yes. And it is now my responsibility. No pleasantries. Straight in. To tell the entire country I did this. And to please watch. I love this. He knows his mission. Do you know, I was in Melbourne this weekend,

and because it's in Australia as well. You'd actually say last weekend. This weekend. Or you'd say this weekend just gone. Yeah. But I tell you, on a Thursday, you wouldn't say this weekend. No, actually, you're so right. You wouldn't.

You'd be mad, wouldn't you? Yeah, I'm sorry. Because you'd think, I was in Australia in the future? Yeah. Why are you using the past tense, Hayley? I've stuffed up here. I like where the anecdote was going. No, no, no. I was going to say

something really nice. These language pedants you host this show with. I was going to say something super nice about how proud I felt as a New Zealander to see Guy Montgomery's spelling bee in Australia and I won't say it because I stuffed up which weekend I was in Australia. I like that you snuck it in anyway. You're a very subtle operator.

It's actually quite confusing because there's two versions of Guy Montgomery's Guy Montspellingby, same title, running concurrently in two territories. Similar look, and Guy Montgomery's the host. Yeah, I tie it all together. Yeah, except one's got Australian comedians. Correct. And one's got New Zealand comedians.

And then your sidekick is different. I mean, this is a woman. The way you guys treat Hayley, you know, on this show. No, she's only who she is because we're constantly battering her. Obstacles, obstacles, obstacles. You sound like a fantastic dad. They're giving me the adversity I so missed growing up. Yeah, no, so there are two seasons happening.

In Australia, it's a guy called Aaron Chen, and here it's a fantastic New Zealand comedian called Sanjay Patel. Both very humorous people. Yes, absolutely. And, yeah, it's been, I mean, it's crazy because we filmed this season last November, you know. This is the New Zealand season we filmed last November. Oh, wow.

And because things have been going so gangbusters at Warner Brothers Discovery, they're just so overwhelmed with content. It's crazy. They just didn't know when to put it out. And so they held off and they held off and they said, now, now. And I'll tell you when we're going to play.

It's 7 o'clock, right after the news. Wow. See you, Campbell Live. See you later, the project. It's all spelling now. Good. And we've already got one in the bag. It's all spelling now. Yeah, good. And we've already got one in the bag. The national government said the children need an hour of spelling and reading.

I'm part of their new mandatory educational intervention line. I thought so, because you're wearing the blue. You're coming wearing the blue jumper with the ant yellow underneath. Oh, no. And the New Zealand first cat. He's peddling education. Yeah. No, yeah, I'm a puppet. I'm a government puppet. He's peddling education Yeah No yeah I'm a puppet

I'm a government puppet But no Basically yeah It's on every Thursday At 7 o'clock And I'm so proud of it Like we really worked So hard on this show

I came up with the idea During lockdown You know And then it's been Incredible to watch it Become an actual material You know you can walk Around the set

And touch stuff Just because you were Sitting and you were Lonely during isolation. And I think it's so funny. I'm really proud of it and I just want to tell people about it and to watch it. Really.

There's no like sort of subtlety. I'm not hiding what the message is. Yeah, great. It's also, I think it's what people want to watch at the moment. It's so silly. Yeah, well it's not unlike your fantastic recent season of Taskmaster. It's pure escapism. Exactly.

We don't need to be taught anything. I mean, you know, a bit of spelling, it's fine. But it's just pure entertaining silliness. Both very fun to do, because I did season one. That's right. And then very fun to watch. Yeah. Like it as a joy.

Yeah. Well, thank you, Hayley. I appreciate that. I tell you, the more I hear about this Hayley Sproul, the more I like it. She's only come up because we tried to keep her down. I'm not sure about these hired goons. I know.

To diminish her self-worth. We should get Guy Montgomery on this stage. You'll flounder because you're not getting the strict. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, we'll just add him in. Who's on this season? We've got a list. Yeah.. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, he'll just add him in. Who's on this season? We've got a list.

Yeah. Rose Matafior. Yeah. She's in it. That's right. We've got Tom Sainsbury, Pax Asadi, Jackie Brown, Eli Mathewson, Jazzy Smith. Someone's found a press release.

And many, many more. And many, many more. Tonight, for example, because the beauty of it is you can get someone like Rose on. Obviously, everyone knows and loves Rose. But you can also get new comedians on. So tonight's episode, Eli Mathewson, defending champ. Reece Mathewson, a new Mathewson has entered the arena.

Liv McKenzie. And then there's a guy called Etai Dong. Oh, my God. Etai is so funny. First time on TV. He is so funny. He's one of the best stand-ups. He's one of the hardest working stand-ups in the country.

And it's so awesome to be able to give them the chance to be on a panel and actually be funny in the way that they're funny on stage. That's a big thing for you, though, isn't it? Because, like, and I say this as one of these comedians that gets a lot of TV work. Yeah. There are familiar faces. So we sort of rotate around.

And then when you did Guy Montgomery's Guy Montspellingby, you were like, nah, I'm going to put some of those people and a lot of new faces we haven't seen. Like, Abbey House wasn't it? I personally don't like to see it go out. I like to pull the ladder up behind me. Understandably. You've leveraged against what you thought you were going to earn

and it's important the ladder comes with you. Exactly. You take the ladder into the bank. It was like when I entered the housing market. As soon as I was in, I was very happy to see the house prices skyrocket. Absolutely. I'm in. That's all I thought.

So, yeah, Abby was on the first episode with you last year. It was her first TV appearance. Abby's amazing. Exactly. And Robbie was on this season. Robbie was on this season. Robbie, who is so good, white guy behind a desk, who I've been watching for years and been like,

why isn't this guy on television? Absolutely. And Itai, so Itai tonight, he's on. And he did, I talked to him afterwards. He came with so, Itai, so Itai tonight, he's on, and he did, I talked to him afterwards. He came with so, because there's no homework. If you're a comedian, you just come on the show and you have to trust the format.

It's all been set up for you to play and have fun. It's a bit like Taskmaster in that respect. Itai came in and had so many spelling specific jokes. It was crazy. Like when I got to him on his podium, he went for like, I don't know what they edited it down to, but he went for like 10 minutes, just this run of spelling jokes. And then even throughout the show,

he kept having a spelling joke for every moment. Afterwards, I was like, I've got to know, man. How long did you work on these jokes? And he's like, you don't want to know. I've been doing every open mic in Auckland for a month, bombing my ass off to practice these jokes for the show. And I was so happy. Like, you know, that's a crazy thing to do,

but I was so happy for him. That is reason alone to watch, honestly. Yeah. And so it's on every Thursday at 7, and then they're all, as they get released, they go on 3 Now, which is one of the better streaming apps. And there's a lot of them.

And Guy wants you to watch it. And I want you to watch it. That's right. Thank you, Guy. I cannot wait. Thank you for having me. How are you guys going, by the way? Is everything good? Yeah, great. Horrible. We actually haven't to watch it. Thank you, Guy. I cannot wait. Thank you for having me. How are you guys going, by the way? Is everything good? Yeah, great.

I actually haven't been great. Haven't you? Yeah. That seems unlikely. I've sort of been blowing my life apart. Yeah. I was going to move to Thailand and just throw it all in. Yeah. But I'm here and I'm happy. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's good. You don't sound happy. And the lads? Any workplace friction you want to get off your chest? No, no. No, none actually. No, no.

This is the best bit. I'm not buying what you're selling. Play ZM's Fletch Vodden Ailey. Play ZM. Brogan, I match with another workaholic from Tinder who doesn't live in my city. We're yet to meet. We have a plan, but this would be perfect.

Yeah, a little spring fling. Yeah. If you can get away from work. God, could you imagine they'd both be on their phones? I've just got to reply to this email. Oh, my God, they finally meet and they're like, sorry, just five. Five? Just five.

Laptops out, laptops out. We did a quick little poll because yesterday Dave Grohl announced that, well, he confessed, admitted, posted on his socials that he had fathered a child outside of his marriage. And does he have two daughters? Three. Three. And they're all apparently.

And now four. And now they're all off social media. You're off, Hon. Why am I off? There you go. You had turned your mic off. You do this all the time. You do.

I don't think it would be intended. Your contribution to this show is of value. Trying to silence the white man. That's exactly what's happening. So he's got three daughters already in his marriage, his 23-year-old, three-year marriage. And then yesterday, they all went off socials. Well, they obviously don't want the comments and messages from fans.

The Food Fighters toured Australia in late November and December of 2023 and continued to New Zealand in mid-January 2024. So my maths means that unless this baby was born premature, that's an Australian baby. Okay. That could be an Australian baby. Okay. Okay.

We don't have all the information. It might even be prior to her leaving. Right. But anyway, we did a quick little poll for people who have been cheated on, which is probably so many people that know of it. We don't know if the wife's left them or we don't know any of those details.

He's committed to regaining their trust. Shannon, can you quickly send through the screen cap of how many people voted on this and how many people saw it so we can work out a percentage of people that answered this versus the people that saw it but haven't been cheated on to answer it. Oh yeah, good call. Because we asked for people who have been cheated on,

did you forgive them, yes or no? 74% no. Oh, okay. They just couldn't move forward. One quarter did. One quarter forgave. Forgave and forgave. I don't think that's a saying.

Forgiven, forgave. Forgave, forgiven, forgot. And forgot, yep. Tori. Oh, should I do names or no names? No, no names. Well, it's too late. Tori's been named.

I'm trying to move through my life because of this at the moment. I want to forgive, but how do you forgive someone for throwing away nearly 15 years for something so cheap, nasty, and soul-destroying? Babe, that's awful. Yeah. You don't have to. You also don't have to. Yeah, you don't.

Plenty of fish on the paddock. Hey, T. Plenty of fish. Hey, T. I wouldn't be eating fish. Yeah, no, there's plenty of cows in the sea. Sorry. I wouldn't be eatingenty of fish on the paddock. Hey, tea. Plenty of fish. I wouldn't be eating fish. Plenty of cows in the sea? Sorry. I wouldn't be eating fish just lying in a paddock.

How long has it been in the paddock? Did it fall out of the sky? Was it a rain fish? Yeah, it was a tornado rain fish. Does it smell okay? Yeah, it does. I'd eat it. And it's salmon.

Oh, yum. You know I love my rich, oily salmon. Life's too short, says another person. But then I don't know if she's saying life's too short to not forgive or life's too short to forgive. So out of everybody that saw the story, a third replied. Wow. Safe to assume a third of people have been cheated on.

Bernadette, like a dumbass, I did forgive. And then he did three more times after. Obviously not with that person anymore. That's good. Well, you got away from that eventually. Forgive and forget them and then move on with your life. Don't waste energy on them. It's their loss.

They made a stupid mistake. So forgive but maybe left them, it feels like. Someone whose name starts with K said, the first time I did forgive, the second time I also forgave, the third time no, and then finally realised they might be gay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, I give them that then finally realised they might be gay. Yeah. Okay. Well I give them that piece they don't deserve it.

Oh this is lovely. No, I wish her well in her journey and I hope that both sides of her pillow are always warm. Wow. That's actually a horrible thing to say. Sabotage. Stop it. You are too hot on the rider sometimes And you're going to get us in trouble

We're having a little laugh Okay He just turns on the mics Just turns them on He says his part Yeah exactly And then goes quiet So you just want to run this show on your own

Because we'll be gone Okay here we go I'm on an article I'm on an article. I'm on an article on the NZ Herald. That's my chosen news source. You have to say that because the company employs you. No, but that is my chosen news source. Okay, good.

Now, it revealed that one in five New Zealanders have admitted to snooping through their partner's phone, going digging, looking for trouble, having a little snoop-de-snoop, looking through the photos, looking through the messages, what have we got here? And you've never done this with Aaron? I genuinely haven't. It would, I've always said this,

it would make me proud for him to be up to no good on his phone. He's just not a technological... No. Yeah. Even the idea of him secretly messaging some woman being like shh, don't tell my partner. I'll be like this is hilarious. Like you can't

even barely even message me. He barely messages his friends. There's nothing to look for. Yeah. There's no one sending him pictures. There's nothing going on there. So That sounds like the dream for most women, doesn't it? I know. Jealousy and trust not an issue for me.

Have you been doing all about setting up a joint Facebook page so he doesn't have an online presence? I don't want to be responsible for that. I get it. It happens by proxy. People just message me being like, hey, can you tell Aaron? Anyway, that's a large percentage of people and it's seen as a bit of a no-no. So what was the

percentage of New Zealanders? A fifth. A fifth, okay. A fifth of New Zealanders. A snooping on their partner's devices. Exactly. Now one in five admit to snooping on them. Do you reckon it's at least half? Yeah, I mean, maybe a little bit less. What percentage of the population are women?

Half. That's right, he said it. Oh my God. That's right, he said it. Oh my God. That's right, he's drawing a line in the sand. He went there. Lesbians know what I'm talking about. So there's a relationship coach and a divorce mediator who has said that basically there's no real instance

in which you should snoop on a phone. And if you, because people go like, but if you're snooping, it's because there's something worth looking for. But she's like, then use your words. Like, don't go looking through their private device. Use your words to say, hey, I'm feeling a bit disconnected.

You know, is there something going on? Are you seeing someone else or whatever? Don't take the matter into your own hands. Yeah, but you need the evidence, don't you? You need some. I don't know that you do. He's been watching his crime prosecution shows. Yeah. Yeah. but you need the evidence, don't you? You need some... I don't know that you do. He's been watching his crime prosecution shows. Yeah. Yeah. Hit them with the evidence.

In extreme cases, if it was like a really toxic relationship, maybe then you need to get some, as you say, evidence or real clear evidence that something's happening. If you just have kind of like maybe some insecurities, that's not a reason to go on your partner's phone. It's a real breach of trust.

Deal with them with words. That makes sense. Yes. Now, I want to know this morning, what did you find while snooping? And this could be not just phones, emails, diaries. Oh, yes. Something under the mattress. The junk drawer?

Yeah, cash in the walls. I don't know. Yeah, sure. How good would cash in the walls be? Oh, my God. Imagine when I was renovating, I was ripping jib off. And cash started falling out. Stuffed with cash and not wasp's nests.

Yeah, wasps and asbestos. Asbestos. Cash? Or like, just you're like, you find cash, but it's the cash that doesn't exist anymore and they don't accept it. Imagine that. It's not even legal tender anymore.

But maybe you just went snooping for something, looking around someone's room while they were out, and you found something. I always love those stories when girls are, like, feeling like their partner's being shady, and it's the guy getting the engagement ring, and they ruin their... Or planning a nice surprise for them.

And they ruin their own surprise. Love those stories. Okay, 0800DARLSATM. Give us a call now. They've already started to get some messages through. You can text in 9696. What did you find when you were snooping? Can be anonymous as well, if you were.

Yeah. Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. A fifth of Kiwis, one in five Kiwis, have admitted to snooping on their partner's devices. A device, a new device has entered the arena. A device I had not even considered snooping

in. Dash cam. Oh my god. I've got a dash cam. I was snooping in my husband's dash cam memory card and so we parked up on a quiet street with another woman and you could hear them smooching. Oh! Oh, my God!

Got ya. Got ya. He might have just been eating succulent, delicious Chinese meal. Chinese meal. Or a custard square. Yeah. And the amount of times Sade kicks down the door and she's like, are you an ill other woman?

And I'm like, no! And I'm just slopping a custard square. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you're the best I've ever hadumping across the square. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you're the best I've ever had. That's amazing. That's amazing. That's crazy. There are so many messages in and some wild stories.

Oh, my gosh. Because when someone, like, does go snooping and they find, like, the dash cam footage of their husband cheating or they find evidence, they're justified, right? Mm-hmm. So many people are saying, I had a gut feeling, I looked, I went looking, I know I shouldn't have, and I was right. But then how often is that gut feeling nothing

and just people being silly? Silly billies. Wow, there's some amazing messages coming in. I'm a male, and at the time I was 27 years old, it was the first and only time I've gone looking through my partner's phone. It was to confirm my suspicion. I found the evidence. I was right.

Nothing prior to finding out. I did try to talk to her about it, but she was really closed off. So you've got to do what you've got to do. So I had to do it. I had to confirm what I suspected. That's what the therapist said was the first option, right? Use your words. That didn't work, so I guess why not have a look?

Anonymous. I know. When I was 10, I was looking for Christmas presents and found court documents that a family member had applied to the court for custody because my mum was mentally unwell. Custody of you? Of me.

Imagine going looking for your bloody G.I. Joes and you find out you're going to be G.I. John. God. Anonymous, you went into some G.I. Joe's and you find out you're going to be G.I. John. God. Anonymous, you went into some emails. Yes. Hi. Hi. Is it illegal to go into someone's email if you know the password? Or if

they've saved it on the login? I don't know. I was snooping on the phone and I found in the email emails from another email that had his surname. So I knew it was his. Yeah. So, I don't know, I think it was a Gmail or something.

And I tried to go in and to get in. I don't know if it was to change the password or to just, like, forgot password, get in with, like, security questions. Yeah. And that night I was kind of like, oh, you know, what was your first dog's name when you were little? Subtle. Subtle. I mean, it sounds like you're dealing with a numbskull anyway. Yeah, it's fine.

He was answering that question. So, yeah, he answered all of them, and I got in, and it was literally an email for, like, all these dating websites and emails with other – well, it was, like, literally a whole other email to. Cheat. To cheat on you. Yeah, pretty much.

And then did you confront him? Yeah, I went to him and I was like, listen, those questions I asked you. I was vetting you. Yeah. Okay. And you got rid of him? Yeah, absolutely.

Fair enough. Anonymous, thank you. So many messages. I was looking for coins when I was younger and found my dad's bag of weed. And something else. And something else. Okay. Something else that dad was having fun with.

Yeah, rubbery. Okay. Yep. Spare tyre. Not me, but a good friend of mine. Her partner said to them, go through my phone. I've got nothing to hide. All smug.

And she was like, okay, and went straight to recently deleted messages. He was like, what are those? Oh, no. And he'd been texting multiple escorts. Oh, escorts. As soon as she'd go home or to work and he'd be meeting up with the other ladies. But he didn't know about the recently deleted. Always delete the deleted.

Yeah, delete deleted. You've got to empty the bin. Yeah. I went in my gut, searched for evidence, found a fake email address and a Facebook profile and a ton of numbers and texts on his phone from people. Oh my God. I was covering for the receptionist at work one day,

as in like doing her shift, and decided to do a little tidy, aka, oh, snooping. Yeah. I found out she was defrauding the company, stealing people's tax checks, and basically being an all-round loser. Oh, my God. That's detective work, though.

That's good stuff. Yeah, good on you. Anonymous said, found secret credit cards supporting his online adult viewing habits. Yeah. Secret recordings of us in bed and recordings of me asleep in bed when he'd pulled the sheets and blankets back and taken photos and recordings of me with only one eye. What the hell?

That's so terrible. That's, jeez. Okay, check your partner's phone. Okay, now you're all for it. Check your partner's phone. Oh, my God. On my 21st birthday, my partner at the time hadn't come home, so I looked on Facebook, and he was picking up another chick.

Also found a conversation with his mother bagging me. Oh, no. It's done. Mom, she's such a bitch. I got my ex cheating while I was overseas. I checked his Find My iPhone and saw he was in a neighboring city when he said he went for a run. He denied it at first, but then confessed that he's a chick.

Neighboring city? Why is he checking? He knows you leave your phone at home if you're going to go for a run and hook up with people at the public toilet. Come on. Come on, guys. We're better than this. Yeah. No, bring City boys. Everyone knows you leave your phone at home if you're going to go for a run and hook up with people at the public tour. Come on. Come on, guys. We're better than this. Yeah.

Come on. Come on. Chat to a gay, you know. Get some tips. Duh, dum-dums. Come on, duh. Yeah, the gays should run a course. The gays should run a course.

You know what I mean? A class. Sneaky Devils 101. Sneaky Devils. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's Native Bird Week here at Fact of the Day.

And today we're covering my new favourite. Okay. The kakapo. Oh, yeah. I got to meet one recently on Anchor Island, way down the south island. You've been editing videos. I'm going to put those up soon. Yep, those are going to go up soon.

What a hell of an experience, hell of a trip. And getting to see a bird When there's only 246 There was 247 unfortunately this week There was a deaf Oh no Highly suspicious too You had just left the island And one died

And you were holding one No I wasn't What's in the chicken coop? I never held one That was a rule I wasn't allowed to touch one There's a suspicious green chicken at your house Some people call them moss chickens

Because they look like they're covered with a moss But no apparently a tree fell Why are they not having sex? They need to be humping more There's just green chicken at your house. Some people call them moss chickens because they look like they're covered with a moss. But no, apparently they're tree fell. Why are they not having sex? They need to be humping more. So apparently, due to the numbers being so low, when the kākāpō recovery started, there's not a huge genetic diversity. Oh, okay.

We insist to us. There's a bit of... So that's why now they've all got genomic testing, genomic testing, and they know where everybody's from. And then you get a need, there's a guy with a bit of... So that's why now they've all got genomic testing, genomic testing, and they know where everybody's from. And then you get a need that there's a guy with a bit of Fiordland in there and they need a bit more Fiordland. They need a bit more Fiordland, kakapo.

So only certain people can hunt with certain people. What? Birds. Only certain birds. I was like, we're all the same. I don't know, I was only on the island for one night. I don't know the rules of the duck stuff. But they can't just let them roam free and just do same. I don't know. I was only on the island for one night. I don't know the rules of the duck stuff. But they can't just let them roam free and just do it.

I don't think so. No, they will put specific birds. Otherwise they won't. And we've talked about the monogamy of the Kiwi this week. Yeah. And the Fanta. Not these guys. Not these guys.

Not monogamous. They build a little bowl in the dirt. The males, they clear out a bowl, and then they just do a dance in the bowl, and they do their birthing noises. Yeah. And the ladies come and then they just do a dance in the bowl and they do their booming noises burp burp burp and the ladies come over

they're like nice bowl nice bowl bro and he's like how do I you think it looks good from up there come on

see what it looks like check out my bowl check out my bowl she comes and he's doing the dance does she do the dance too nah she just nah she watches him do it

and then just pretty much just puts it up oh awkward have it yeah have it kind of like watching auditions on like X Factor She watches him do it and then just pretty much just puts it up. And he's like, have it. Kind of like watching auditions on X Factor. And then she leaves.

And she's done. No, she's not done. She was never in the game for that. She was never in the game for that. So I thought I'd hit you with some of the facts about the world's only flightless parrot. Fact one. World's only flightless parrot. Fact one. Yeah, only flightless.

World's only flightless parrot. Also, the world's biggest parrot. On average, 400 grams heavier than the next one, which is those big blue macaw looking things. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they're fatties. 400 grams heavier. My boys. Doesn't fly. Apparently stopped flying because of the Haast eagle. Yeah. We've talked about the Haast eagle

and I'll tell you what, tomorrow we're hitting the Haast eagle hard. That's our final bird, even though it's extinct. I know it's extinct. But I love it. If those things were still around, we'd have to, God, there'd be some flying crashes. I think that lasted a few more hundred

years, and then they could have had delicious high country sheep to eat. Yeah. As soon as the moor was gone, Haast eagle. Anyway, we'll talk more about him tomorrow. Kakapoor today Also believed to be one of the longest living birds Can live up to 90 years old Oh my old dude

And they don't start breeding Males don't start breeding until they're about four And the females don't start breeding until they're about six Right Yeah and the males Because the males get a bit hornier a bit earlier There's this island just off Anka Island Where I went where they'll take the horny males and they just

like have a bachelor's pad out there. Oh, okay. Because they're a bit raucous if they leave it on there. And I want to say that the final little fact about kakapo, my new favourite, is that it can store, because it's given up flying so it doesn't need to constantly be eating to fly around because that's

a lot of energy taken. It can store and it's one of the only birds to do it, store a lot of body fat. They can eat, they'll eat a lot, and they don't burn it all by flying because they're just poddling around. Yeah. And so they put on a lot of body fat. And the heaviest one.

This just sounds like an excuse, doesn't it? I can't fly. I'm too fat. Have you tried? No. Anyway, more rimu berries for me, I think. So today's fact of the day is the kakapo is the world's biggest parrot. It's the world's only flightless parrot.

And it's a cute little fatty. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Celebrating a friend's birthday yesterday and had a quiet dinner planned at Mexican Cafe Which is, god it's been around for years It's an institution Yeah

Yeah it is It's not bougie new age No What do they call it? Tex-Mex Which is like American Yeah But it's not authentic Mexican

It's kind of like if your mum used to make Mexican in the 90s. Yes. Before everybody's mum made Mexican. Tasty, cheap, margarita jugs. Oh, yeah. And it's got a vibe. And sometimes if it gets late at night on the weekends, they do like dancing.

Salsa dancing. It's great stuff. It's great stuff. Go through. Anyway, I was there. But as part of the Mexican Cafe's legacy, you can choose, if you like, to sport a large sombrero. Yes, yes, yes.

Are you allowed to do sombreros? I don't think so. I don't know. I think you're allowed to do sombreros, not fake moustaches, not the accents, not the ponchos. Okay. Right, okay. But I've definitely worn a sombrero

at Mexican Cafe before. Same. For sure, we all have. But last night my party of four opted non sombrero. Yeah, no. No sombrero? No sombrero. Ni el sombrero. No, non sombrero. No, no, no, no, no. Gracias. Thank you. Are you speaking Italian?

Gracias. I forgot which language. Gracias. Non sombrero Anyway So we're there Having a raucous laugh Like we're having a good laugh Definitely a table of extroverts Yeah

And I look across Because I'm on the balcony Which you've got to do If you eat there I'm on the balcony I look across To this table of Four lovely

I'll say it Mums Okay But maybe like Of older Like 50s to 60s. Okay. And they're all, they have sea sombrero to the sombreros. They are wearing four large sombreros. And I was like, I love this.

Like the girls around. Senorita, take a look at her hands. Sea puppy. Sea puppy. Sea puppy. Oh my God. Si papi Si papi Oh my god Stop massacring a beautiful language But when you wear a Muy caliente

Papi Si papi When you wear a sombrero at this particular place It's because it's a vibe and you're like having a big Raucous night These mums were having the most Sort of low-key, in-depth, quite serious conversation. That's a sombrero, isn't it?

With four sombreros. It was such a funny sight to see. I'm not making fun of them. It just was so funny. It felt like having that conversation of like, oh, God, yeah, Margaret, it sounds like you and Paul have really been through the wringer at the moment. I know.

Because it just felt like this really kind of serious conversation. Deep and meaningful. They were all leaned in around this small table. Like a huddle of... Sombreros bumping side by side. Do you know what this reminds me of? When at Christmas you pull the crackers and everybody puts a hat on because it's all joyful

and then as the thing goes on, someone will bring up a topic of conversation that should have been talked about or someone's dead and it's not there anymore and it gets quite serious or a little argumentative and then you look around and everybody's wearing stupid paper crowns that are too small for their heads and get split on the side.

Oh my god, I just loved to see it. It was so funny. They've come for a night out but the conversation in the moment I've seen it has turned into, not serious, but like deep. And really they were leaned in and listening, really giving each other time, but their four massive sombreros kept like knocking. I loved it so much.

And George has turned up pretty bloody late. Got her belly button out. You got your belly button out. It's the middle of bloody winter. It's cold today. I'm just going to show off the guts. Oh, yeah, we had a tiny call. You've got your belly button out. It's the middle of bloody winter. It's cold today. I'm just going to show off the guts. Oh, no, she's tucked it away now. I didn't get to see it.

It's an innie, too. Should we all have them out? I used to have an outie. Oh, did you? Yeah, when I was a kid. They freak me out. My undies are too tall. How is your stomach so brown in the middle of winter?

Guys, I went to Aussie last week. Not that you didn't go to Aussie and get trapped in the outback for six months. What? Fletch, you don't have your belly button. Arguably the most ripped torso of everybody wearing a belly button. I touched mine away. And it's going to look extra good because you're beside your fat friend. Mine's up here.

I've got a really deep hole. Everybody knows at the beach you park yourself up beside your fattest mate. That sounded like applause. It was me tapping my guts. Round of applause. And you know what? I don't give a shit.

It's because I've got a deep belly button too, so I'm getting that. I've got such a deepie. I'm getting a bit of... Have a good listen to it. Cavanous echo. How deep is your belly button? Shh, shh, shh. That is such a good clap.

Yeah, that's a really good clap. It's like when you walk up and you see your bro and you haven't seen him for a while and you're giving the dap up. You're like, hey, guts. We pop. We pop it in here. We've gone over reason.

You've made your belly button all red. Jeez, you should see the nipples. Hey, anyway, end of the show. What are we doing now? We should have ended on that note. No. I feel like everybody's looking at my nipples. How are you going to talk about date night?

Oh, I know now it sort of feels irrelevant. You've sidetracked us. Can you build it out of here? Why did you turn up to my five minutes before it starts? We were going to talk to you about the Under Armour Fitness Nightclub. Oh, I was saying they made some flavour. I'd been over there for a while. What? And now you mention another radio station on our show.

That's ridiculous. Do you know we're in a cutthroat competition with everyone? Everyone is going in there. Get on board. You just have to share your love, guys. I'm just sharing the love. What are you sharing love for? You bought us a coffee.

You didn't bring us a coffee. That sucks. You've got your belly butter now. It's a better belly butter than mine. Mine's too deep and it's very light. It's the brownest belly butter I've ever seen. Do you know what? We actually, deep belly buttons are great for raspberries.

Oh, you just heard me tapping my gut. Fletch, raspberry my guts. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I can't reach. I can't reach. I can't reach. I'm going to need a hero. It's not happening.

Georgia, get out. Please, can you roast breast, belly button, please? No. Never. Never happening. It would happen and then next week it would be like, we can't work together anymore. It finally happens.

Yeah. We had to make physical contact. Oh, guys. Okay, well, if you want to go on a date night, go in the middle of the week. Is that it? Yeah. Nice. What, Wednesday? Tuesday, guys. Okay, well, if you want to go on a date night, go in the middle of the week. Is that it? Yeah. Nice.

What, Wednesday? Tuesday, Wednesday. Go in the middle of the week. Tuesday, Wednesday. Wait till next week now. Why? Because it gives you an excuse to leave if it's not going well. Oh, because you've got work the next day.

What's a song with a double clap in it that we play at the moment? That Dasher song's got double claps. Sabrina Carpenter. No, what about, oh, yes, or Dog Days. Is it Florence and the Machine? Is that the one that goes? No, you want, if, yes, or Dog Days. Is it Florence and the Machine? Is that the one that goes? No, you want, if you want to run with me, I need a fantasy that I can take you for a ride.

Okay, find that. What's that song called? Oh, what is it? It's Dua Lipa, Dua Lipa. Yeah, Dua Lipa, Dua Lipa. Levitating. Levitating. Okay, stand by, stand by.

Levitating. You get your guts out. You cannot miss it, and we always clap to this. Levitate. I'll get by, stand by. Levitating. You get your guts out. You cannot miss it. And we always clap to this. Levitate. I'll get it. Get your guts out. No, why?

How do you spell levitate? L-E-V-I-T-A-T-I-N-G. Hang on a second. I'm going to do a leap. Stand by. This is not like Google My Search. You were going to say Duolingo. Levitating.

Yeah, it's levitating, isn't it? Levitating. All right, are you ready? How close in does it happen? Pretty. It's straight away. It's levitating. Levitating. All right, are you ready? How close in does it happen? Pretty. It's straight away. It's right in there. Go to get the mic done.

So there's a double clap. Miss the double one and then we'll. No, I'm going to do a double clap. Okay, you ready? I'm going to do all. I've got to shuffle closer to the microphone. Yeah, poor Carwin can't even look. Okay, you ready?

Yeah. Okay. Bill boy, baby, do a leap and make him dance when it come on. Everybody looking for a dance, throw the one on. Hang on. No, no, no, leap and make them dance when they come on. Everybody looking for a dance. Hang on. No, no, no. There's another one here. Oh, yeah.

There's another one. What a great way to end the show. Is there another one? No, that's it. That's it to the neck. Oh, you missed it. I'll rewind. I'll rewind.

I missed it. Bellybutton. I'm Mr. Bellum. Great way to end the show. Great bellybutton slaps, bud. Okay, if you had to rate, review or marry Fletch, Vaughn or Hayley, what one would it be? Okay, I would marry Hayley.

I would have sex. Wait, which one was it? No, no, no, no. It's only rate, review, marry. Oh, okay. No comment. I could have sex with the podcast. I don't know how that would work.

Give us a sexy little review, though.