ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 13th December 2024

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

U.S Shooter Lookalike Contest Ideal Time to Turn Up to a Party Silly Little Poll - Elopement or Big Wedding? All Blacks say 'Bye' to Cars Top 6 - Reasons It's NOT a Good Time to Buy a House Flying 'Naked' Trend Final Rankings - Classic Christmas Gifts After Pay Shopping Trends Study Weirdest Intrusive Thoughts Darude Interview Nude Sleep Experiment Results Fact Of the Day How Far Did You Travel for a Date/Shag?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify,

or wherever you get your podcasts. The ZM Podcast Network. The Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Flesh, Vaughan and Hayley. Happy Friday.

I wonder how many people, like, it could be their last day today before holidays. Yeah, there's a few people that'll be knocking off early. I'm actually thinking of just working right through. What, to the end of next week? No, no, no. All summer. Well, you want to do some solo shows over summer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Get some days in love. I think if you cast your mind back, you've done that and it didn't go well, did it? Have you? No, do you know I've never, and this is the cockiness of this guy, me, I've never worked over summer. Like, since I've been in radio. When I was at uni, I milked cows all summer. Yeah.

How much of a shitbag is that? Even when I first started, I was just like, Nah. Do I have to? No, like, suppose not. Never really. What a prick. This is the inspirational chat I give to radio

students. Don't work summers. Don't work summers. We've worked over summers before. Stop being a brat. We've gone on tours. Oh, poor us. We got to go around the country and stay in nice hotels. It wasn't really because the Sri Lankan

cricket tour got cancelled because of the tsunami and they'd already paid and booked all the accommodation so we just went and had a nice holiday on the company's expense. Well, that sounds fun.

Yeah. We hardly worked. Well, we'll be here next week. I'm working all the way through. Well, good for you. Again, he's not. I'm entering my third age. Wow. I won't be. See you there. No, good for you. Again, he's not. I'm entering my third age. Wow.

I won't be. So you're there. No, I won't be. Coming up on the show, silly little poll. Would you prefer a big wedding or just an elopement? If you're not married,

this was a question to people not married. I feel like it's changing, eh? I don't know. A lot of my friends who originally wanted big weddings. Yeah, just elope. Just the money. Surely it's cheaper. Surely it's cheaper friends who originally wanted big weddings. Yeah, just a lot. Just the money.

Surely it's cheaper. Surely it's cheaper. Yeah. But then family get annoyed, don't they? If they're not invited. Yeah, well, then pay. Well, that's our silly little poll soon. Because a lot of them doesn't mean no one's there, right?

It means you're going to a location and it's a very select few. Yeah. And if they turn up. And if they turn up, they turn up. Yeah, but please don't. We'll get into the polar songs soon.

Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley. So, in New York, there has been another lookalike contest. We've had Timothee Chalala-May.

He turned up to his, didn't he? That was great. We've had the guy from the movie with the thing, Glenn Powell. Glenn Powell.

Yep. He went to his as well. He went to his, thing. Glenn Powell. Glenn Powell. Yep. There's so many. He went to his as well, eh? He went to his, eh? Feels a bit indulgent. It does. And that's coming from you. That's coming from me. If I, I would, man, I would rock up to a lookalike contest for myself.

Guys, this is crazy that you're all here. Oh, what an honour. Oh, this beautiful woman, am I right? Anyway, there's been another one in New York and it is for the United Healthcare CEO shooter. Like Luigi. Luigi Romaggio. Luigi Romaggio.

The memes haven't slowed down. I just saw one of Tony Soprano like mid, like he's pointing and he's yelling and he's like, he's an Italian martyr. He's a hero. You put respect on his name. I was just like, good, good. It just keeps on keeping on.

I've heard a little bit of comedy about it over the last couple of days. I just don't know how to think or feel. The whole situation is really cooked. Like, this is someone that murdered someone, like a dad with kids. And everyone's like, he deserved it. And you're like, I know that. Like, I know healthcare is, like, he deserved it. And you're like, I know that. I know healthcare is like screwed in America but, and the company that he was

CEO for, you know, cost thousands of lives with some of their decisions on healthcare payouts. I know, I know. And didn't they have one of the highest like, decline rates? Yeah. So it's like not, I just still don't think that we should be murdering people. But anyway, so they've done this, there were eight contestants who

all sort of donned, you know, face masks and hoods and, you know, they've got pretty eyes. Yeah. Because that's the whole sort of rhetoric around him is that but he's pretty. Yeah. The shooter. And yeah, they turned up. It was sort of like a soft, gentle, not a protest but like they're kind of there in support

of the shooter. Yeah, yeah. Were you talking to someone in New York and they were saying it's a weird... Yeah, Yeah, the whole weird energy of the entire place has just this volatile... I mean, that's just kind of American on a whole, right? Yeah. And just with the current political situation. But they said there's this weird New York energy at the moment.

Yeah. So there were dozens of onlookers. So I will say this didn't make a huge impact. You know, it's not like thousands turned out. And they cheered for the winner who was wearing a green jacket and face covering. Looked like a dead ringer for the cold-blooded

assassin, they say. Wow. And also did you see people wanting Kim Kardashian to represent him? Jesus Christ! I mean, he's got a great smile. You know, I get it. Yeah. It's something, eh? I get it.

It's wild. The internet has certainly been delivering this week. Yeah, I know. Again, the witches... It's so confusing that I'm enjoying it. Like, the memes are funny. I know, the memes... But a life has been lost.

I know. I don't know how to feel about that. But was he a great person? But he was murdered. But he's a family guy. But it was bad. You know, a family guy. But it was bad. You know, you're just like, it's so, I mean, anyway. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley.

Well, most people think if you're going to turn up to a party, it should be just after the start time. Yeah, I don't know if I've ever been. Okay, I think it depends. Slightly fashionably late, but not late, like Vaughan would be. Like, you wouldn't go to a party. Your ideal time to go to a party would be never. No, I'd say, yeah, we'll be there.

And then once it's started, message them being like, I'm sorry, something's come up. Insert lie. Yeah. Something about the kids. Something about something else. Something else has happened. They're great excuse kids, aren't they?

Once it's already started is the best time to let someone know you're not going to make it. Because then they're already in the party. And everyone's there and they're happy. Yeah, and they might not see it. And then they do check their phone and they're like, oh, he messaged hours ago. Da-da-da-da-da, perfect. This article that's on the Huffington Post talked to an etiquette consultant.

Oh, how lovely. And they were saying it depends around the world about when you arrive to a party. Right, it's different everywhere. And they said for linear time cultures, think Asian cultures, if the dinner or party is at 6, you turn up at 6. I was going to say that. And then he mentioned circular time cultures. And this is something I've noticed in South America when I've travelled there,

is when something starts at six or someone says they're going to meet you at six, that could mean 6.30, 7 or 8. Yeah. Which is wild. In circular time cultures. What's circular time cultures? It's just like around about, I guess.

Sort of like people who work maybe more around a siesta, like Italy. It is bizarre. Wait, so they can say six and so you go there at 6 and then at quarter to 8 you're like

they're not coming so you leave and then at 8 they arrive and they're like hey where do you go it might be different if you're in South America

and you said we're going to have dinner at a restaurant at 7 or 8 and we've got a booking they would be there but maybe late even still late

I know what you mean like the more kind of what is it the way to live. The relaxed, sexy cultures. Sexy indifference. Like I went to a couple of parties when I was in Italy with my parents in the village, right? And they would be like, oh, we're throwing a party after the thing.

Come along. And there's no start time, really. It's just sort of, they'll say lunch. We're going to have a lunch. And then so you're like between 11 and 2. But the organisation and me, the organisator needs to be like, give me a time.

Is it 12.30? Is it 11.30? Do you wait till everybody's there or do you just kind of like go? It's just there. But food can't, the prosciutto's going to start getting that sliminess to it

and the cheese is going to get too soft. No, but it's not about that. It's about the company. No, it's not. It's about the cheese. I reckon you's not. It's about the cheese. I reckon you need, for me, if I was throwing a party, like I'm throwing a New Year's party. Wow.

Have you had an invite to this? Yes. Yeah, I did. What are you talking about, Rude? You're not even going to be in the country. You may have made it very well aware that as soon as the show finishes next Friday, you are out. Yeah, but I would still like an invite to know that I'm wanted.

Okay, you are hereby invited to my New Year's party. I'm so sorry, but I actually can't make it., you are out. Yeah, but I would still like an invite to know that I'm wanted. Okay, you are hereby invited to my New Year's party. I'm so sorry, but I actually can't make it. Thank you. Okay. This is how I invited Vaughan. Why don't you come and know? That's all I wanted. I said, Vaughan, why don't you come over and join us for new? For new new. That was it. I actually

would just love to do nothing. Yeah, great. Great. Whereas I'm throwing a party and I would go, as long as like two of the people turn up around about the time that I've set as starting, then it's fine. Then we can relax. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Other people can wander around.

Yes. Whereas when you throw a party, Fletcher, I'm like, well, I'll just come over straight after work. Yeah. Will you help me get ready? I'll just sort of be around the whole day because I want to get bang for buck. Well, as long as you're not early,

that's why I like to give a start time. Just don't be early because I'm planning up to that time. Yeah, exactly. I'm in the shower 30 minutes before that. Please don't arrive when I'm nude in the shower. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little pose.

Silly little pose. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pose. I'm very angry. Silly little Paul. What's wrong? You both looked at your watches, but I didn't get a bzzz on my watch. Because Shannon just seemed silly little Paul for me. Silly little Paul came's wrong? You both looked at your watches But I didn't get a Because Shannon just sent Silly Little Pole through Silly Little Pole came through

Minutes ago for me No it didn't It came through at 6.20 Literally right now Shannon literally just sent it right now I didn't get a Well I was looking at the weather Oh what's happening with the weather?

Don't like We're not We're not conspiring anything You're watching I didn't get to look at my watch What do you think We're talking about you Are you guys talking about me?

This is exactly what I said would happen. I know, you did say this would happen. When did you say it would happen? Like, she just messaged me. Exactly. Gotcha. Look at this. Look at this.

New Plymouth weather today. It's going to be beautiful. I wish I was coming. Because you love New Plymouth. I love New Plymouth. It's a beautiful day. Unless they'll be smiling andmouth. I love New Plymouth. Going down today. People will be smiling and the sun will be glistening off their rotten gums. It'll just be absolutely lovely.

There is hot kettle black old gold tooth Morrisville over there. There is four right in the water. Well, congratulations. Hey, guys, it looks like Wellington's having one of their days. Yeah. What are we all looking up our hometown weather? Yeah. What app did you look it up on? Only because I'm going there today. Guys, it looks like Wellington's having one of their days. Yeah. What are we all looking up our hometown weather? Yeah. Morrinsville's got going on.

What app did you look it up on? Only because I'm going there today. You're on the Apple one. Okay, Morrinsville. Mostly sunny. There you go, Greg. 25, what's it getting up to? 25 degrees at 3 o'clock this afternoon in Morrinsville.

Everybody check your hometown weather. Today's silly little poll. If you aren't already married, would you prefer a big wedding or a small elopement? Oh, you'd go elopement, wouldn't you? Yeah. I think I always dreamed of a big wedding, the dress and everything. And then as I get older, I think that...

Are the heterosocial norms wearing off? The heterosocial norms are very much wearing off. How embarrassing for my dad to walk me down the aisle in a white dress, in my virginal white dress. You know, no. For me, it's simply the money factor. I would love to be the centre of attention and look in the best I've ever looked. What? You?

Yeah. No, sorry. I mean more so I can spend it on other ridiculous things. I imagine your wedding has a big stage and you're just performing all the songs too. Oh, 100%. She's her own wedding singer. You're the wedding singer.

She's her own wedding singer. Please welcome the band. It's me and my piano. And your mum's on the side of the stage being like, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Oh, that scale was sloppy. And again, and again, and again, and again. And then your mum gets the microphone.

I do want to apologise to everybody. It seems Hayley hasn't been practising. Go on. Go and play for everyone. Go and play for everyone. Well, 74% of people said a small elopement. 26% of people still want a big wedding. But I know people that have done this and, like, not told family.

And it's been, like, dropping an atomic bomb. Yeah, me too. Because, you know, the parents look forward to this. Oh, well, thanks for the opportunity to come and celebrate. Yeah. You don't want your parents in Vegas, though, do you? God, no. I'm going to do terrible things, Dad.

Don't look. Mason said small wedding would rather spend the money on a massive honeymoon travel in the world. Yeah. Well, that sounded nice. And then do it in as many cities as you can. Did he add that? Yeah, that's what he put at the end of it.

Oh, Mason. Oh, Mason, that's not classy. That's your wife you're talking about, yes? Yes. Please use the correct terms. We would like to fornicate around the world. Exactly. The day is for you two, not your guests,

so small wins, says Eden. Bronte said, I'm getting married at St. Paul's Cathedral in London. Oh, darling, darling. Wait, are you actually not St. Bronte? Or is this like a dream? Loved in St. Paul's Or is this like a dream Like a

Wait the St. Paul's Cathedral Isn't that where Like celebrities Have funerals And weddings Darling yes It's in Mary Poppins

The bird woman Sings of it Jesus Christ It's massive Oh wow Lots of pigeons Just by the fame Pigeons

You're gonna pay all that money Just be surrounded by pigeons Bird woman Goodness me Just by the fame. You're going to pay all that money to be surrounded by pigeons, bird women. Goodness me. That is a bit much, Bronte. How much can you... An invite wouldn't go amiss. Yes, if Bronte can let us know...

We must get our eyes around this. Let us know how much a venue hire is. Yeah. Well, if you can afford St. Paul's, you can probably afford your favourite radio show to come over and celebrate with us. Oh my God, we'd love to be invited to that. We're a tall show.

We need leg room. At least a premium economy situation. And you're going to need some kind of head covering to get rid of the pigeons because you don't like pigeons. So some sort of white veil would feel appropriate for me. Megan said we eloped to Europe earlier this year. Best idea ever. Spent the same amount of money on an intimate wedding

and one month travelling Europe as it would have cost for a really low-key New Zealand wedding. Yeah, I like that. Nice, nice. Spent the same amount of money on an intimate wedding and one month travelling Europe as it would have cost for a really low-key New Zealand wedding. Yeah, I like that. Nice, nice. It's the way to go. Also, no judgement to those that want an expensive wedding. It's your money. Linda said,

anyone who doesn't vote small elopement isn't currently planning a wedding. I voted elope, but if someone else pays for it, then I'll go for a big wedding, said Xanthi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If we've got a rich daddy, why not? Our second Megan, we're loped.

Best day ever. Make nuggets for lunch. Boosh. Oh, I love that. Nuggets on your wedding day. I always think this. If I had a big wedding, I would have, you know, your nice catering and all that. Yes, and then a nuggy table.

Nuggy drop like 7pm. 8pm. Love that. And be like, hey guys, guess what just turned up? Table of nugs. All the nugs. Imagine you've just married your one true love and then you find out that they're a barbecue dipping sauce person. Well, it's not too late.

Because this paperwork hasn't been submitted. So you can tear those up. You can just tear them up and be like, how embarrassing. Or drown it in the barbecue sauce. Make it unreadable. Kelsey said, reluctantly having a massive 110 guest, $250 per head wedding next year.

Oh, no. Let's do the math. Is that $25,000? It is $25,000. And that's just that part. That's just really food and drinks. 110 people, $250. $27,000? It is $25,000. And that's just that part. That's just really food and drinks. 110 people, 250. $27,500.

And that's just on that part. See, you could get flights to Vegas, return and get the Elvis Chapel for that. Yeah, fun. Easy peasy. You could just buy some cheap dress over there. Alexandra said, any excuse for a big party to send it. Yeah, great. Rochelle said, ooh, yuck, attention.

I also don't want people to share their stories about how me and my partner met. We do not need to bring up the past. So I swiped right and he also swiped right. And then it said, it's a match. And we both already technically had partners. Some vague

grey area. Some kind of crossover area. God, people that crossover never like to talk about it, do they? They really avoid that. They're like, hang on a second. Wait, when did you meet? When you were with Daryl then? When did you meet?

Because my birthday was after that and you brought Daryl. Bingo. Crossover. See, there's a a better crossover there. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. If you're familiar with what I stand by being one of the greatest New Zealand television, made for television movies of all time, the story of Stephen Donald and that kid.

I've got errands in it. He is. Doesn't he play Ali Williams? Does he? Apart from being tall, have zero in common. I know. It was a real small part but he got so ripped for it. Yeah. And he played Ali Williams which is

wild that he didn't play Sam Whitelock. Much more of a Whitelock energy. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, errand's in it. Well, one of the saddest parts about that amazing... The kick. The kick. That's what it was called. That won the Rugby World Cup.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the kick that rung the lead up to it. And how he got dropped, and he got picked up, and he wasn't in the squad, and then he had to... And the saddest part about it was when he kept having to go back to the Ford dealership and drop off his Ford every time he got dropped from the All Blacks squad. Like Ruthless, eh?

Well, give us your car back. You're not on the team. Give us your car back. You don't even get it for the rest of like a 12-month period or whatever. No, no, no. Give it back. Well, it's happening to all of them right now. So they all drive Fords.

So as part of the Ford sponsorship of the All Blacks and parts of New Zealand rugby, the elite New Zealand rugby players get Fords. Okay. I'd get a Ranger. I'd get a Ranger. And be an a-hole on that. Yeah, and be an a-hole. Totally. I'd get an Everest, which says, I'm a mum who wanted a Ranger. You would be an All Black

Ford driving around in a Ford Festiva. Yeah, you would be. Actually, I would because it's sensible. My nan's got one of those. I know. Thrashers, man. It's quick. That or I'd ask them if I could get a 2001 XR8 Ford Falcon. Right.

Yeah. They'd be like, don't you want a new one? I'd be like, come on. You can't beat. This is quite fun. Hell of a year for the XR8. So Ford's 30-year sponsorship of New Zealand rugby will end on January 31st. They couldn't reach an agreement.

Right. So who knows what that means. I wonder why. So they're not going to sponsor the All Blacks in any way. So now, and there's like 80 of them. 80 of these cars. 80 players and coaches and staff. Every player in the 36 man All Black

Rugby Championship squad got a Ford vehicle for use for the year. And then, you know, there's the high-ranking behind-the-scenes people. The coach should get one. Coaches and the other coaching staff, probably. Yeah. I don't know if the Black Ferns get one. Of course they don't.

No, they don't. They get a pat on the back, pat on the bottom. No, I think they just have different sponsors, don't they? I think they do probably individual sponsorships. Yeah. So, I mean, who's going to sponsor the All Blacks vehicle-wise? Hyundai, it's kind of got Hyundai written all over it. Hyundai does so much sponsorship.

It's crazy. Maybe they could get some e-bikes. Get to practice on an e-bike. That'd be nice. They sort of all live around. Got a lot of cycle lanes now. The country, yeah. I think it would be really good for cycling in New Zealand.

Shimano. Awesome. I don't know. Shimano do gears. Do they do a whole bike? I don't know if they do a whole bike. Do they do an e-bike? I'm really struggling to name e-bike brands.

Oh, you know. Tornadoes. They do them. Tornadoes. They do them. Tornado, yeah. Or let's go retro. Let's get them all riding penny farthings. Turn up to all legs of practice. And it'd be good for the core too.

Yeah, the balance on the big wheel. And the balance. It might actually be really good for the players. Or just one of those micro scooters, you know, not electric. That you have to push. Just push scooters. Or they're all about exercise and fitness. We'll get these boys moving.

Get them on some bikes. Yeah. So there's no word on what their sponsorship, because they'll get cars, right? I think so. They'll have to find a car dealer, right? Like a car brand. No, they have to go to Turner's. Get a second-hand car.

You know, that'd be good, actually. Keep them humble. I'll tell you what, I've won hell of a 2013 Mazda Axilla. Up for great. Leather seats. Yeah. Leather humble. I'll tell you what, I've won a hell of a 2013 Mazda Axilla. Up for greats. Leather seats. Yeah. Leather seats. Yeah.

It's all been souped up. It's got a dash cam with no chip in it, so it's not on. Yeah, and no spare tyre. No spare tyre. Who needs it? Yeah. In the five years I've owned it, it's... The whole Japanese system, you don't really know what radio station you're picking, do you?

Oh, it's crazy. No. I just stop until I hear a familiar voice and I go, I think that's ZM. Yeah. I think that's Brian Clint. Yeah, I think so. So that's up for grabs if they want to buy that. Okay. It's only like 200k on the clock. I'll

text them right now. Yeah, yeah. Which one are you texting? All Blacks. All Blacks. 0800 All Blacks. I'm texting the All Blacks. The All Blacks. I'm in a chat group with all of it. All Blacks, comma,

the. What if full from grace a brand new Ranger to your crappy man stuff? Will you clean it out at least? Let her see, so let her see. No, no, no, no.

Dust galore and there's chocolate in the middle console still. That's full. Yum. I can't get it out. I can't get it out. Play ZM's

Fleshed One and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. You can't hear that, but imagine I'm doing two fingers at my eyes. Yep. And then I'm turning the fingers away

and then now they've become two fingers apart to one joint and that's what I'm doing. I've got my eyes on you. I've got my eyes on you. Vaughan thinks someone's encroaching on his territory. Yeah. Ed McKnight says six reasons you shouldn't buy a house right now on one roof.

Dot, dot, and Zed. Now, see, maybe Ed doesn't listen to the show and know that your thing's been the top six. Ed's an economist. Okay. So I reckon he knows that we're bad news, Brad, till we die. There is no other economist for us. We've picked an economist.

We have a sexologist. We have an economist. And we've got a proctologist and a geologist. And we have a resident doctor. We don't need anyone else. And I reckon Ed's jealous. He wants to be our economist. That's the only thing that can explain it.

You've come up with your top six. Why did he do six? I don't know. He probably wanted to win it out. You don't own the number six. I do. I'm just looking at some of his points here. It's an interesting article.

Yeah, it's well written. Number five was Trump won the US election. I reckon he could have got rid of that and just stuck with a nice five. No, but that's quite important because that could affect our economy next year. Some developers are going bust with his sixth point. Yeah, that's also a

very valid point. Rental market's tough. Give us your top six. The original home. I never expected to get so petty about this. I know. So he does actually care about the top six. Ed McKnight.

The top six real reasons it's not a great time to buy a house. Number six, it's far too grown up for you. You've got to start making real grown up decisions the minute you've got one of these and they suck. Sometimes they keep you awake at night but Vaughn, I already stay awake at night because of

crippling anxiety. Well, a house isn't going to help. It doesn't help. It doesn't help. It is wild though how it still feels weird to have a house. Yeah. Oh my God, it's a novelty every day.

It's impossible that I own a house. I'm simply a child. I know. I'm a baby. Yeah. I'm just 22. Whose name is that

on that piece of paper? Yeah. This isn't mine. This can't be mine. Number five on the list of the top six reasons it's not a great time to buy a house.

When you own the house, you can't blame landlords for your shitty house anymore. Who do I ring? Yourself! Hey, this is broken. Hello, Hayley speaking. Yeah. Yeah. Hayley, what do I do about this broken pipe?

Well, Hayley, I'd recommend you call a plumber. But that's going to cost me money. Yeah, it is. Well, it's not my house. It is your house. Wake up! Knock, knock, knock. McFly! Number four on the list of the top six reasons it's not a great time to buy a house.

You don't need another reason to hate the banks. But I tell you what buying a house is going to do. Give you another reason to hate the banks. Why are they making me rent it off them? I thought it was mine. You just said it was mine. I seem to be paying a fortune for the pleasure of owing them more money. How is that working?

Number three on the list of the top six real reasons, Ed McKnight, it's not a good time to buy a house. They just constantly need goddamn money spent on them. Just constantly. Whether you choose to or not. Constantly. Yep. Forever. Things snap. Constantly. Yep. Forever. Things snap. Things rot. Yeah. Roofs don't last forever.

I thought they were forever. I thought they were a forever item. No. Hey, carumba. Number two on the list of the top six real reasons it's not a great time to buy a house. Now you have to give a shit about OCR and interest rates and financial nonsense.

I still don't know what any of that means. I don't even know what it means. Yeah. I just follow along. Yeah, but when it goes up, it's bad. I know that much.

Yeah. And it's up. And then you're like, man, that went up quick. And then they're like, it'll fall. And it went up like a rocket and it falls like a feather.

And number one on the list of the top six reasons right now is not a great time to buy a house, Ed McKnight. What if Vaughan, he's allowed to do a top six list? He's not allowed to do a top six. Okay, wow. It really sucks up your spending money over summer, and then autumn, and then winter, and then next spring,

and then summer, and then autumn autumn and then repeat for 40 years. Yeah, I mean, between Ed's article and yours, Vaughan, it really doesn't sound like a great time to buy a house. Really not a great time to buy a house. That is today's Sub 6. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Well, the naked travelling trend has taken off. Now, it's not where you actually fly in the nude.

Baps out. But it is a money-conscious movement led by freakishly frugal frequent flyers. Say it again faster. That is a mouthful. Frequently frugal frequent travellers. No, freakishly frugal frequent flyers. Freakishly.

Oh, I nearly had it. And if my children are listening, that is alliteration. Yes. Because they were doing a thing last night and they were like, Dad, what's alliteration? Well, here's an example a thing last night. They were like, Dad, what's alliteration? Well, here's an example.

Yeah, go. Freakishly frugal frequent flyers. That was good. Frequently frugal frequent frequent flyers. Yeah. Frequently frugal. No, freakishly. Freakishly frugal frequent flyers.

Freakishly frugal frequent flyers. Alliteration. And now back to Sean Murray. I mean, we have the, you know, the bag fees here in New Zealand, but they're not as, you know, in America, they're insane for a bag. It's like 60, 70 US dollars, which is 100 New Zealand dollars for a bag.

Ours is always like cheaper if you get it when you book your ticket, but then it's like 20 bucks. And then if you do it on the day, it's more. Same in Europe as well. I remember booking a flight and the luggage was like half the flight price. Yeah, that's how they get you.

That's how they get you. They're like, hey, fly from London to Ibiza for 10 pounds. You want to bring a bag because you're going to the clubs. It's 100. It's 100 pounds. So it's 110 pounds. So a lot of people are now traveling without luggage. And when I mean like no luggage, they have a little tiny backpack.

And that is pretty much it. They're wearing as many clothes as they can when they board. I fly hot though. I couldn't do it. I fly very hot. Once you're on board, you can chuck your jackets up or under the seat. That's fine. But they literally, and it kind of becomes a challenge for these

people to travel with as little as possible. That's kind of cool. challenge for these people to travel with as little as possible. As little as possible, yeah. That's kind of cool. Yeah. Yeah. I can dig it. Yeah, it's kind of a trend that's taken off and people like joining Facebook groups and,

you know, sharing tips. Because when did we talk about the fisherman's vest? Yeah. Was that the end of last year? Maybe about a year ago, yeah. Yeah, we were talking about that's a good way to get stuff in pockets. But a jacket with lots of pockets would be great. Yeah.

Undies, like full of bras and undies and socks. Yeah. I don't know, just having a suitcase when you travel, especially if you're going away for a while, then you can take a whole bunch of stuff. You're not needing to buy it over there. I would hate to rely on buying undies in any given location. Yeah, same.

I'm specific with the undies. I could do, like, general sort of clothes in a warm location. You know, a specific with the undies. I could do like general sort of clothes in a warm location. You know, a t-shirt's a t-shirt. Shorts are shorts. Yeah, when you go away, you kind of just wear the same things anyway, right? I know, but it depends.

You wear the same shorts. It depends. Because you can buy off rack, but what if you can't? If you're super tall or you're bigger. Yeah, this is true. You know, especially if you were flying. I can buy off rack.

Thank you. I can't buy off rack in Thailand. Nobody can. No one a frack in Thailand. Nobody can. No one buys a frack in Thailand. I've walked into a store with my friend who's sort of a similar size and they just go, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or are you walking?

Like too big. And you're like, I usually am a large in a T-shirt. And then you're like, any triple XLs? Any nine tuplet XLs on those racks? No, I'm not a light traveller because I just panic and I'm like, I want to look cute. What if we go out to dinner?

What if we do this? And then I'll pack a suitcase. Like I went to Italy for two weeks last year, this year, this year. And I took that big, my big July trunk, packed. And I, yeah,

100% I wore like two outfits out of that. Yeah, you didn't use most of it, right? But I had it there. Just in case. Just in case, ready to go. Well, flying naked, it's a new trend if you can embrace it. Also, it means you don't have to wait for your bag too, which can be a long time at some airports.

Days in some cases lately where baggage just gets totally left behind. Off the plane straight to customs is good too. So good. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's the final rankings. Put such a sore pimple right on my lip. Oh, yeah.

Ooh, ouch. Oh, we should be ranking. Painful pimple spots. Yeah. Because I reckon entrance to the nose. Oh. Because you can't squeeze it. You can't drain it.

Well, that can be next week's final rankings. Positions for pimples. Put it in, Cowan. Painful. Worst position for pimples. Yes. Just worst. That just is really sore.

The top of the lip. Yeah, top of the lip. Oh, ouchies. Okay, but today with Christmas fast approaching, final rankings, we are ranking classic Christmas gifts. Do you know what? Socks. I just realised what our number one is,

and I know you'll agree. Voucher. Voucher, yeah, voucher. Because it's easy. I just got... And you're in control of what you spend it on. If it's a place you like. My in-laws just got me a Prezi card,

and I could have cried. Yeah, that's good. Gorgeous. And then I said to Aaron, I'm going to buy myself something fun. And he said, oh, we could put it towards Christmas. That's a Christmas present. That's my gift. That's your gift.

He wants to spend your gift. He actually wants to spend my gift. You've got your own Prezi card. If you want to contribute to our Christmas with that, then that's your prerogative. But how good's a voucher? Voucher's rule. Yeah.

There's no doubt about it. What about a scratchy? I think that's my number two. Here's my problem with a voucher though. Yeah. And I was just talking to my sister about this yesterday. It's like we always said $30 was the limit for the kids. But a $30 voucher now with like a teenage daughter,

like a $30 voucher, is it enough? What can you get with $30? She will get what she's given. No, but this was my pitch for Secret Santa. If you're not buying everybody a present, you can afford to spend more on a singular present. Not everybody, Vaughn. A chip-in.

Not everybody. What? Like a chip-in situation. No, Secret Santa. So, for example, rather than having to buy all, like, six of my niece's and nephew's presents, we get one per daughter. So instead of buying six presents, I'm buying two.

So you get more money per present. You get less presents. I mean, it depends on the situation. You just ask the family what everybody's comfortable spending. Yeah, totally. And what people can afford. But $30 is fine. Yeah, $30 is, and then they top it up, you know,

depending on what they want to buy. That's the top up situation. They've even got a Christmas? Oh, shut up. How good was a $20 note from Nana in a car? Dude. How good? See, okay.

Cash. Cash, man. Because cash, to me, cash beats voucher. Beats voucher. Because it's not real. It's not real because cash is not, it doesn't exist. But you could literally be like,

okay, I've got this voucher, but I really want an ice cream right now. And this voucher will not get me an ice cream. Cash will get you the ice cream. There is a saying here, cash is king. Yeah, I would stand outside the store and offer it to sell it to someone going in so I can have ice cream money.

So you would trade away a $30 prezi card for a $5 ice cream. That's a buy and demand. Hey, do you want this prezi card? It's got $30 in it, man. You Prezi card for a $5 ice cream. That's a good point of demand. Hey, do you want this Prezi card? It's got $30 in it, man. You get me $20 a night. We'll call it even. Never accept a Prezi card from someone outside a store saying,

hey, hey, hey, what a Prezi card. Because they probably shoplifted the card and didn't activate it. Yeah, cash rules. What about a box of Chockeys? Yeah, like Scorch Dammies. Like a bottle of something? Every year, Aaron's parents will give all the sons and the daughter a bottle of Baileys. Yuck.

Yum. We love Baileys. I hate Baileys. It's so yuck. But what about a bottle of wine or a bottle of something? The problem is so many people don't drink. I've literally given someone a nice bottle of wine

and then half an hour later when I message someone saying, hey, what did they drink? They didn't get back to me. Bought them a nice bottle of wine. Then the person who I messaged got back to me saying, oh mate, they haven't drunk for years

and I'm like, thanks for ruining my three years sober. Yeah, you turn out with a bottle of whiskey and they're like, that's my hurt in the wine. And I'm broken their sobriety streak. The chocolate is good. I'm going to go voucher or cash.

Yeah. No, no, no. These are two different things. No, no, no. These are two different things. Completely two different things. Cash, voucher, scratchy. Money hungry.

Money hungry. Because you're giving them the potential to win $25,000. But when I give my brother a scratchy, I'll scratch the barcode, scan it on the app just to make sure I'm not giving him $50,000. Didn't you buy him a scratchy that won $50 in 2006? And every Christmas you bring it up? I was pissed. So never again will I do that.

Because you're doing your final Christmas this weekend. Do you and your brother exchange? We will, yeah. Do you? are you going to scratch the scratchy well I'm not giving him $50,000 Hayley I'd never live with myself

or if you buy him a lotto ticket you buy a duplicate ticket so if he wins you win too at least I get half of it that'll teach him there's two winners this week

yeah and you're like haha you didn't get all of it yeah I don't know when I I just feel like when I get a gift

and it's a box of favourites, I'm stoked. Yeah. Yeah. And the last few days, and then they always, the, just the plain chocolate ones

always end up in the fridge for weeks and then you just forget and then someday you open up the fridge and you're like, oh my God, I do feel like a Cadbury dream.

Okay. I do feel like that. I'm going to go cash, number one. I'm going to eat the hard toffee one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, why not?

If times get tough, I'm going to eat everything in there. I'm going to even push it Number one. I'm going to eat the hard toffee one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not? If times get tough, I'm going to eat everything in there. I'm going to even push it out on a cherry ripe and a Turkish delight. Yum. Oh, that goes first. No, that's good. Turkish delight, number one. That's an argument for another day. We've done this.

I think we've done this multiple times. One's cash. Two is lotto slash instant kiwi. Yep. So like something, you know, gambling. One cash, two gambling. Two is the gift of gambling. Three, here comes a curd ball. Yep. So like something, you know, gambling. One catch, two gambling. Two is the gift of gambling. Three, here comes a curd ball.

Okay. Home baking. Oh, my mum does Russian fudge for everyone. I love it. I love when someone gives you like... Your mum has never done Russian fudge for me. Actually, she's never done it for you guys. It's one of my favourite lollies.

Yeah, she's literally so good. I know, James's mum. Is it as good as James's mum's? Wow, I think I'm about to get absolutely pulled out here. I think we need to have a mum's fudge off. Yes, a mum's fudge off. Which is actually in my Pornhub year in review as well. But I think we have a mum's fudge off.

James's mother's Russian fudge, which I have had before. So sweet. It makes your teeth shock. Yeah, yeah. And then your cheeks go numb. My mother's, I'll just say, it's a little bit easier on the palate. Oh, wow. I know.

And I love James' mum. Well, we'll have a fudge off. We'll have a fudge off. We'll have a mum fudge off. So your top three? My mum doesn't make fudge. It's not good for you. That's great.

She'll just stick to the margarine. She'll stick to some margarine. Yeah. I'm going to go voucher number one. I know you're going to hate this, but undies number two. My mum has bought me undies since I was a kid to now. I would not say no to that. As long as they're the right undies. She puts them on my Santa sack. She knows. As long as hate this, but undies number two. My mum has bought me undies since I was a kid to now. I would not say no to that. She puts them on my Santa sack.

She knows. It's weird that Santa's bringing you undies, by the way. It's a little creepy. He sees me when I'm sleeping and I sleep in my worst undies and he's like, thanks. Ooh, yuck. Those are bleached through. Anyway, I'm going voucher number one. They're having their own little fudge off, aren't they?

Voucher number one. Undies number two. I'm going scratcher number one. They're having their own little fudge off, aren't they? Voucher number one. Undies number two. I'm going scratchy number three. It's just the thrill of the day. Christmas scratches. It rules. Mum always hangs them on the tree. She punches a hole in the corner of them.

So does my pop. Hangs them. But just remember my hack. She goes around and hands them out. Scratch up the barcode. It's not a hack. So you get the winning ticket. That is not a hack.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. What are we paying for on Afterpay? What did I buy on Afterpay the other day? And sometimes I'm like, I've got the money, but I like to trickle it out. Do you know what I mean? And I don't know why I do it. Isn't that bad for your credit rating? Well, I don't really.

Not only do you pay it off immediately, I think it is. Oh, right. But then I remember last time we asked the bank for some money. They were like, what are these Afterpays? You're saying, me too. I was unaware I had. Oh, right. But then I remember last time we asked the bank for some money, they were like, what are these afterpays? You're saying, me too. And I was like, I was unaware I had afterpay, sir, to be totally honest with you. And was that a conversation for another time?

I asked a very, very good question, what is this afterpay? Yeah. Let me get back to you in a moment. Well, I don't. What is this afterpay? You talk to me. I remember when I first got my credit checked, I didn't have any because I don't have a credit card or any loans.

Oh, yeah, right. So I pay off my afterpay as I go. have any because I don't have a credit card or any loans. Oh, yeah, right. So I pay off my afterpay as I go. I don't know. It just tickles me sometimes. Right. Anyway, this is through Australia, but I am sure the spending habits reflect New Zealand as well. Okay.

What are we paying for for afterpay? There was a huge skyrocket in red items jumping 24%. Wait, red things? Just anything as long as it was red. Yeah. How do they know? I don't know. I don't know how they do it.

I guess they just go through everything. I guess, yeah, they know what products you're buying and what colour they are. It would always be like colour, item, red. Yeah, okay. We buy a cushion, red. Red items. And I wonder if this is to do with that surprising red theory

that we implement in our house. Yeah. Every room has to have a little piece of red, even though it's not a key colour. Yeah, it's big on TikTok and online. Yeah, big interior design trend. Yeah, okay. But also red's been good in fashion as well.

I'd rock a lower red. Red drink bottle. Red drink bottle? Yeah, this is my surprising red thing, my red drink bottle. I don't think I've got anything red. I've got a red jacket. You've got a red jacket? Yeah, my outdoor jacket is red. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. You've got a red jacket. You've got a red jacket. I've got a red skirt.

I've got a red jacket. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. You're for like hiking and such. Yes, fashion. You're ropping dirt. Well, that's good actually because they'll see your body on Everest and they'll be like,

oh, red jacket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, red jacket. Take a lift at red jacket. Now, trainers. We bought a lot of trainers in 2024. Personal or? No, foot.

Foot trainers. When it comes to foot No, foot. Okay, trainers. When it comes to foot. Shoes. Leggings. Shoes, yep. All about comfort. Okay. Lounge wear.

That's a huge thing for women on TikTok as well. So far, I'm seeing a lot of female. Interesting. Spending. Spending. Yeah. Interesting. I'm not hearing.

I would like to know after pay's gender split. Oh, yeah, that would be interesting. Do they have that in their wrap? There's more. I'm not hearing... I would like to know after pay's gender split. Oh, yeah, that would be interesting. Do they have that in their wrap? There's more. I'm going to Google it. I'm just in the fashion realm at the moment. Yeah, loungewear, like high-end loungewear for hanging out at home, and Crocs, huge skyrocket between 2023 and 2024.

Adidas Sambas, which is like the most popular sort of casual shoe. 231% spike in sales. Really? Between 23 and 24. I'm a Reebok. I'm a Reebok guy. I'm a Chuck Taylor. What are we going to do about shoe brands?

No, I'm just like boots. You'll work. But I had to buy new gym shoes the other day. I'm stuck with the Asics. Asics? They've done me well. Because I do more running. I'm a running guy. He's not a brand basher, is he? Because Asics, I wouldn't look at with the Asics. Asics? They've done me well. Oh, wow. Because I do more running. I'm a running guy.

He's not a brand basher, is he? Because Asics, I wouldn't look at someone's Asics and be like, sick Asics, bro. No. Your new balances, you're always like,

nice new balances. Yeah. Loving the Nikes, babe. Or the Adidas, yeah. Sick Asics. I don't even look at anybody's shoes at the gym and think, sick shoes.

Sick Asics. I just never think about that sort of thing. Yeah. Kitten heels skyrocketed. I just never think about that sort of thing. Yeah, kitten heels skyrocketed. What? I thought you didn't like those. I hate them. When you've got a long foot, a kitten heel is not it. Okay, in

the toy range, Barbie. Huge. Yeah, we'll do movie as well, yeah. And Bluey. Huge. Big, big. Bluey related toys, books, accessories across the year, 83% increase since the yeary. Huge. Big, big. Bluey related toys, books, accessories across the year. 83% increase

since the year before. Oh, sorry. I beg your pardon. Barbie had a fall. Oh, okay. Barbie's had a fall. Barbie's had a fall. Yeah.

Yeah, those are the sort of big main items that we're buying. It doesn't have a gender split, but I will say this feels like feels like women. Feels like women buying things

on Afterpay. Women are significantly more likely to use buy now, pay later payment services such as Afterpay, ZipPay or ZipMoney than men. Over 1 in 10 women report using a buy now, pay later service in the last year compared to only 5.5% of men reporting

the same thing. Twice the amount. Twice. The top items of 2024, there's one, there's one men's. Did you want me to repeat that? Twice the amount of women.

Yeah. Now to be, I will say, traditional roles say that like when you said Bluey and buying toys and stuff. Yeah.

The women are buying the toys. They might be more likely to buy the toys for children so maybe that's why it is. Yeah. That might account for a little bit but I will say, twice. Twice. The women are buying the toys. They might be more likely to buy the toys for children so maybe that's why it is. That might account for a little bit but I will say twice. Twice. Twice the amount. Do you know why? Do you know why? Twice the amount and you know the gays love the afterpay.

On your bank statements when it says afterpay it doesn't say what you've bought. That's why I like it. So that's why you think women do it as well. So it goes, it just says afterpay, afterpay, afterpay, afterpay. It doesn't say afterpay this dress, afterpay these shoes. You can't palm off afterpay as groceries or essentials.

What was that? I think it was something for the house. I can't remember. What's this afterpay? I can't remember. I think it was minus 10. And then because you're acting. Can you afterpay at minus 10 though?

I'm pretty sure it was, I think maybe it was the plants I got for the house. I think I put it you afterpay at Mitre 10, though? I'm pretty sure it was... I think maybe it was the plants I got for the house. I think I put it on afterpay. Okay. Where did you get that dress from? I've had that for ages. Your acting, that was the worst acting I've ever heard because I've heard it so many times.

When you hear a lie so many times, you become immune to it. So I'm wondering with the acting you were doing there, but Aaron being an acting teacher in his own right, I wonder if you say it and then he stands there and there's a silent period of everybody's trying to work out what's a lie and what's not. Prove it. Play ZM's Fletch

Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Now I revealed this week that I chose, rather than getting a boring old white crown in my teeth, I've got a gold tooth. And you guys were shocked.

So shocked. And people were shocked. But I've heard from so many people that are just like, absolutely. Yesterday, a group of lads, I'd say, not my main lads chat,

who were in support of me 1,000% from day dot. They're in support of you whatever you do. A secondary lads chat with a different group of lads fired up, and one of them was just like, this gold tooth, my king, like, fantastic. I wanted one.

My wife wouldn't let me get one. I was like, we don't ask our wives. That's not her mouth. That's not her mouth. Yeah, my mouth, my body. My mouth, my gold tooth. Yeah. I heard from another friend, my friend Kim.

She was the same. She's like, I'm due to get these fillings. I really want a gold tooth. I heard from another friend, my friend Kim, she was the same. She's like, I'm due to get these fillings. I really want a gold tooth. Her wife's told her that it's not to go. And I was like, again, we don't ask our wives. Someone said to me when I got those spare of the moment tattoos, you know, I was like,

what's Erin going to say? I was like, I don't give a crap. Who gives a shit? My thighs? Yeah. Yeah, I never get asked that. If he's back there looking at him, you know, lucky him. So, I've get asked that. If he's back there looking at him, you know, lucky him. So I've got, I've talked about him before. I've got a dark passenger on board. People are loving the term dark passenger, by the way. It's intrusive thoughts, but mine's like a person.

Like I literally hear him tell me things. Do that. Do it. Do that. Yeah. What would happen? It's not things like murder them all. No, no, no.

He'll pose it as a question. Do you know one of the- What's the worst that could happen If you did get a gold tooth Nothing Do you know one I always get Is when you're boarding Like a jet And you're on the air bridge

And you see the little joystick Dude That moves the gangway My man wants to touch that So bad I want to jiggle that thing so bad And just move us We just all move away

I want to press some of the buttons. Like, what does it do? What does it do? I really want someone, I've thought about it before, if someone ever in that line gave me the lightest of shoves, I'd go, whoa, and reach out and touch it. And then accidentally, yeah. And I'm going to eat it.

Yeah. Immediately pass the blame to somebody else. Mine's definitely driving on the motorway, just open the door. Just want to open the door and hit the bollards. I get that driving past traffic cones. I'm like, I could just fling open a door now and knock over a couple of traffic cones. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I wonder if I would get, and sometimes it wins. We were driving once and we were in terrible traffic by Costco in West Auckland. And where they're building the Kmart now was just this big grass paddock. Yes, yes, yes. And we were stuck in traffic there and I was in the gym and I had my daughter with me and

my dude's just like, you could drive through there because you're in a four-wheel drive, you could drive through the grass and skip all the traffic. You could just go around. And I was like, he's not wrong. And I went and I drove up over the curb and you actually did it. I just drove through this grass paddock and cut out, I'm guessing, 15 minutes of waiting in traffic. And my daughter's like, what are you doing? I'm like, it'll be fine. Of course

it's going to be fine. What's going to happen? The cops are like, hey, what are you doing? And I'll be like, my kid was going to poo her pants. Yeah. You want to deal with the poo her pants? And she's just going to sit there looking like she's about to shoot herself because there's a police officer and she's scared. Yeah. He was right. He was right again. He was right with the tooth. He was right with taking a shortcut.

I'm thinking of giving him full control. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. We're handing over the keys. He'll blow your life apart, hon. Why can't he have 2025? That's one year. No.

He could have a whole year. We'll keep Vaughn around for a little bit longer. He's Vaughn too. Yeah, I know he is, but... He's a cooler Vaughn. Remember when... I mean, no, that's an old reference. What's a more modern reference?

What? Well, I was going to say, on that really, really old TV show, Family Matters, Steve Urkel, the nerd, used the machine to turn himself into a cool reference, dude. Into a cool version. No one's with us. We heard yesterday after you mentioned

you were a dark passenger, these intrusive thoughts. People messaging you about having these intrusive thoughts, and we thought, well, this is something we could develop and talk more about today. And this is what we want to do right now is 0800 DARS at M, text through 9696.

What are those weird intrusive thoughts that you always have? Yeah, maybe you get a recurring one. Someone just did it once. My little devil, they call theirs. Got the better of me once. I did open my door on the motorway to knock over a road cone.

Turns out not great. Dent to the driver's door. Of course you will. But my little devil was happy. But that's it. You know it's going to dent the door. That's the trade-off. Now someone called your guy

entitled middle-aged white man. Yes, it is. Absolutely. I've seen you do this before with parking. Yeah. You're just like, I'll just park here. Why not?

Or if I'm just somewhere and I'll be like I'll just rip a U-turn And people are like there's no U-turns here And I'll be like my little guy will be like I do that because I'm like don't tell me I can't right turn here I'm in the clear I can go right now and I do it Well those are road laws but that's okay Now having a dark passenger I'm reading some of the ones we're getting in

And I'm like my dude's not this crazy. We're talking about those weird, intrusive thoughts that you always have. The fun ones. Lots of people have different little names for them. My little devil. Yes. The voice in my head. I don't know what it is.

I'd love to know more about it. Susie, what do you call yours? I don't have a name for it, but Morena. Morena. Morena. Susie. Just intrusive thoughts every now and again. What about Dark Susie? What about Dark Susie?

Oh, yeah, Dark. Could be, could be. Or Naughty Suze. What is Naughty Suze always telling you to do? Well, mine's a bit of a weird one. I was thinking about it yesterday when I was listening in, and every morning I feed the cat, every morning I think about licking that jelly meat spoon.

Do it. Do it. Dark Susie. Do it. Dark Susie, no. Just do it once and it'll go. Do it.

Oh my God, no. I get what you mean though because like if it was any other food you'd be like yuck. Oh, I'm going to lick this. Yeah.

Because if it was a human food you'd lick it, right? Do it. Also just it's because you're twisted so you know that it's going to be yuck. Absolutely. Just do it.

Just do it. Do it. No. Oh, no, that's so funny. Thank you, Susie. If you ever do do it, please call back. Dark Passenger really wants to talk to Naughty Suze. He wants to tell her to do it.

Stacey, what's your weird intrusive thought? Hi there, long-time listener, first-time caller. We'll get the bell. we'll get the bell. Which bell have you got, the clean bell or the dirty bell? Clean bell. It's that one, there we go. Welcome, Stacey.

Thank you. What's your intrusive thought? I'm a secondary school teacher. Oh my gosh. And every two weeks, there's a full school assembly in our gym. I want to turn off all the lights. Do it.

All of them. 700 students just squealing. I want to do it. Wow. That's harmless to be honest. That's not even... I can't even see what we're debating yet. Do it.

That's so funny. Do it. Okay, I'll do it next year. Yes. Do it. Film it. Send it to her. And then just be like, oh, sorry.

Does the gym have any natural light or would it be pure darkness? It'll be dark. Oh, yeah. I love that. There might be some panic. Just do it for Film it. Send it to her. And then just be like, oh, sorry. Does the gym have any natural light or would it be pure darkness? It'll be dark. Oh, yeah. I love that. There might be some panic. Just do it for five seconds and then put it on. And then leave it a bit and then flick it back on and look around like, which one of you kids did that?

Who did that? Who did that? Who did that? You guys are my devil on the shoulder then. Yeah, we are. But we're just three devils. Do it. Your naughty one's called Racy Stacey.

Yeah, Racy Stacey. Racy Stacey. The dark passengeracy Stacey. Racy Stacey. The dark passenger's Racy Stacey. Stacey, thank you. Some more messages. I had an intrusive thought once, what it would be like

shutting my hand in the toasted sandwich maker. I would not recommend doing it. It'd burn and it'd infect pretty much all of the skin of my hand for a long, long time.

Yeah. I did it as a teenager with touching the iron and I was like, I bet that's hot. And I just found myself going like this and I've got coiled up fingertips on top. Yeah. Yeah. You just did it as a teenager with touching the iron. And I was like, I bet that's hot. And I just found myself going like this. And I've got coiled up fingertips on top. Yeah.

You just did it. Which is why you were such a good burglar, because you didn't have any fingerprints. Dumbass Dave messaged in. That's Dave's dark passengers. Dumbass Dave really wants to drink water out of the water blaster when he's washing the car. No!

You'll blow your face off, dumbass Dave. Dave, you'll destroy your tongue. Spray it up in the air and then catch it. But don't, don't Dave. Dave, even, even my dark passenger's like,

don't do it, dumbass Dave. I feel like we're going to keep dumbass Dave alive. Yeah, you'll literally tear a new mouth. Your mouth will be so much wider.

Don't do that. Oh my God. So many people have this one of when their partner is driving, cranking the hand, cranking the handbrake. Hopping over at the beach who was driving along the sand. I just had the thought of pulling the handbrake. Hopping over at the beach who was driving along the sand.

I just had the thought of pulling the handbrake. I did. We got stuck and had to be towed out of the sand. Don't yank the handbrake. Don't do that. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

Right now though, talking about your intrusive thoughts, those things where you're like, what if I just do that? You know what? Here's one at the cute low end of the scale. Okay. You know how supermarkets have free fruit for kids?

Yep. My enemy wants to take an apple. Yeah, that's cute. I've done it. And I've just been like, they took two bites and they didn't want it. What was I supposed to do with it? Oh, so they had the first bites. No.

100%, that's your apple. They didn't have the first bites. Oh, that's a lie I've prepared to tell people. Oh, Vaughan. You'd be on camera taking it. But then, yeah. Okay. Is that going to go back to security camera over one apple? Oh, Vaughan, you'd be on camera taking it. But then, yeah, okay. Is that going to go back to security camera over one apple?

They are doing it tough. Yeah. They are doing it tough. Yeah. It's like when you take an extra pen from the bank, you know. Banks are doing it tough too. They're doing it so tough, that's really going to throw the whole budget for the year. Shah joins us.

Shah, what is your intrusive thought? For the last six years, I've driven down the motorway and had a look at these four burn piles as I drive past. When I first went past them, they were chopping down trees. And I thought, oh, yeah, cool, firewood. But they've left them there for six years to get overgrown. They'd be tinder dry. Every time I drive past it, my little,

I'd call it my oh wow moment goes, what would happen if I threw a Molotov cocktail? A Molotov cocktail! Yes! I thought you were going to say, what would happen if I park up, go over and light them on fire?

She's robbing a Molotov from a moving vehicle! I thought Sia was just like, what if I took that to my own fireplace? You robbing a Molotov from a moving vehicle. I thought Char was just like, what if I took that to my own fireplace? You're throwing a Molotov cocktail. That is wild that they cut them and stack them

and they haven't burnt them off in six years. I mean, now's not the time. We're in summer. We're in summer. This is a mid-winter burn. Do it. Char, make that cocktail.

Do it. Do it. Yeah, I think this is how wildfires start. Yeah. Do it and then we'll hose it off. It's fine. Just do it and it yeah I think this is how wildfires start yeah do it and then we'll hose it off it's fine

just do it and then we'll hose it down amazing Shah thank you message is in not that I thought that call was going no

in the minute a Molotov cocktail came in though hard to say no I thought it was free firewood like you yeah same

when I was a kid my uncle let me light the bonfire when we were doing a tree with a Molotov with a homemade Molotov cocktail and it was the craziest.

So you hiff it. Yeah, you light it on the rag and you throw it. It's so crazy. It was the 80s. Give me a break. I was seven years old. We have a little handheld device

at work for crimping metal lids in glass vials. And everyone has the interest or thought of just putting your finger in and crimping your finger. Someone did it once and they stripped the skin off their finger. No, yuck. Working in online customer care at the Summer of just putting your finger in and crimping your finger. Someone did it once and they stripped the skin off their finger. No, yuck. Working in online

customer care at this time of the year specifically, it makes me want to tell people, reply to them asking if they're aware of how effing stupid they are. I just want to know, if you're aware of how stupid you are, then that's fine, I can help. But if you think this is a good question, I'm having problems with you.

Liz tested me yesterday. Her name was spelt L-Y-Z. Now, who spells their name like that for... I can see this person just needs a vent. It's okay. They do.

But I can see if I was ever to work in customer service, I would have these intrusive thoughts. I'd probably just go through with them and tell Liz or whoever

that they are effing stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. The little sociopath in me just needs to push a red button. Anytime I see a red button, I'm just like, is that a pushy button? Can I do that? Can I push the pushy button?

Overwhelming desire to put my foot under the tyre of a slow-moving car. Oh, my God, same. And just be like, it wouldn't hurt that much. Confident that when my toes explode, I'll finally realise how cooked this idea was. My full intrusive self decided to put all the windows down on a full car wash while we were in the middle of the car wash. Why?

Every single time I've been in a car wash when it gets to the blow cycle, down goes the window. Yeah, I do that. Do you? Yeah, every time. Oh my god, I never have. I've gone down in there real quick. It's so rad. No, you leave them down and it's just like being in a hurricane of chaos and the kids are like No! No! And like receipts and stuff are going everywhere. Oh, you leave them down and it's just like being in a hurricane of chaos and the kids are like, no, no!

And like receipts and stuff are going everywhere. Oh, it was like hot. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. It's Darude, Sandstorm. It's your Friday flashback. Can we end the country in March for Manuka Farm Symphony in the domain 29th of March,

symphony.com for tickets. Someone texts and saying, God, I'm glad I'm wearing the right bra for this tune. Banger. They bounce. Yeah, they bounce. Even I was experiencing some bouncing there. It would have been good to have a bra myself.

Cara's vibrating with Friday flashback. Love, love, love. On my way to a job interview, playing this loud, putting me in the right mood. Yeah, good luck for your interview. Someone just said, my intrusive thought has now upgraded to dropping it low at the train station in Wellington.

Do it. Drop it low. station in Wellington. Do it. Drop it low. Drop it low. Do it. Oh, my God. Amazing feedback. My nine-year-old said, that's a long intro. They're not familiar with the...

It's called a build. No, the whole song. She was waiting for the lyrics to kick in. No, this is the instrumental. Yeah. Well, I never, ever thought in my life I would ever say this, but that's Sandstorm by Darude, and we are chatting with Darude right now. Good morning. Well, good morning ever thought in my life I would ever say this, but that's Sandstorm by Darude, and we are chatting with Darude right now. Good morning.

Well, good morning to you guys. It's good evening for me, and you guys are, I'm looking in the future right now. This is cool. You are. We are the window to the future. It's about to implode, so just get in a bunker and you'll be sweet.

Obviously, you're coming for Manuka Farm's Symphony in the Domain next year, joining an incredible wine. We were just looking after listening to Sandstorm. That was the end of 1999 that song came out. Yes, that's true. Dude, 25 years?

Are you kidding me? That's bananas. No, that was literally like 10 years ago, surely. The maths doesn't stack up. The numbers don't work. But obviously, does it still blow your mind that no one is ever disappointed when that song comes on? Like, we hear it and we just go crazy all these years later. Well, you'd be surprised.

I do get some DMs here and there or even some public comments, but then at the same time, it's really funny. If I post something on, say, Instagram and people actually take the time and effort to go like, But then at the same time, it's really funny. If I post something on, say, Instagram, and people actually take the time and effort to go like, your song is the worst one ever existed. And I'm just like, much love to you. You actually came here to tell me that. It's so incredible.

Also, that's just straight up not true. You can say that about some songs, but a song that just pops off for 25 years straight it's just not true it's a great song so one thing is interesting people often ask me like uh you know what's the secret of the song and i know every millisecond of it every sample everything about it but i don't know why uh it is that, why it became the phenomenon it is. But on one hand I do know, like, it has a recognizable song, you hear it once, you'll remember and recognize it again.

And for whatever reason, and this is the key thing, it sticks in your head but it doesn't very easily become irritating. And that's why, that's the I think, of the longevity of it. And for the weirdest reason, it doesn't become irritating to a lot of people. Some people, of course. And also, it doesn't become irritating because the dreaminess of the song is that

it just builds and builds and builds and builds. It drops. We build, we build, we build, we drop. We're never just sort of like staying in one vibe for too long. Yeah. Yeah. I guess there is a big dynamic difference in the kind of quiet breakdown beginning and then the build up and then going again.

Have you seen any of the videos of the Auckland Philharmonia doing Darude Sandstorm at previous synthonies? I actually have and I had the pleasure of seeing one at the ministry event in Sydney. Oh wow, okay. I was early this year and I can't wait to witness that myself and potentially maybe take part in it as well. Yeah. That's going to be fun.

I saw it performed with the orchestra in the Town Hall in Auckland, which is a very, very old building. And it's got a balcony that was built a hundred years ago. And the moment the beat dropped, the whole audience

was jumping on this balcony. And there's a video of, I know, this is on YouTube, this balcony being like's a video of, I know, this is on YouTube, this balcony being like, rush, rush, like moving like this and everyone was like,

that can't be good. But that's the impact of the song. Can I be a little braggalicious for a second? Yes, please. This is a very similar story to what I heard a while ago. There is a stadium in Texas where they

host 50 or 80 thousand people and they actually had to reinforce a concrete football stadium because of sandstorm was moving the rafters in one end of it. Wow. If. And this is not, if you Google something like sandstorm and stadium shaking or moving or whatever, you will find it. It's from like five or ten or whatever years ago

and I was just like, yes! But insurance has nothing to do with me. Yeah, you're like, just because my song's so sick. I'm like, oh my God, I can see the video. It's insane. Can't wait to have you here God, I can see the video. It's insane.

Can't wait to have you here in New Zealand and see you absolutely pop off with Symphony. Oh, me neither. It's, well, I've come to your country many times. I've played all over the place. Some of the bigger cities and actually some small ones as well. And it's always so lovely.

And this Symphony thing, seeing those videos having a little glimpse of myself uh i can't wait to get actually to doing stuff with you guys we're so excited manuka farm symphony in the domain tickets are on sale now at symphony.com it's happening the 29th of march in the auckland domain uh darude thank you so much for your time this morning. Thank you, guys. Can't wait to see you. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. We mentioned on Monday that for Saturday afternoon, we had a long lunch with some members of our friend group

to celebrate Christmas in the year that was. And in that discussion, it came about the topic of sleeping in the nude. I think because it was so humid at the lunch and everyone's like, oh, summer's here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then a number of us mentioned that not only do we not sleep in the nude,

but we vary from me in like a little bralette and some small shorts to full underwear underneath a full pyjama set. Yeah, like that's too dressed for bed. That was a lot. Yeah. To which the nude sleepers I'm one of these.

to great umbrage. Yeah. And then Dr. Shawnee, show doctor, he doesn't even have work in a practice. He's just a show doctor. That's all he does, yeah. He laid down a challenge of sorts

for everyone who didn't sleep in the nude to sleep nude for five days, for seven days. Like just try it and see how you like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was, when I started, I was like, oh, this feels weird. And then now it feels weird to wear clothes to bed.

Like when people stay at your house. Summer and winter, I'll always, I'm just always a nude sleeper. It's just nicer. Vaughn rocks a undie tish? No, no tish. Undie. Just, just, yeah. It's just nicer. Vaughan rocks a... Undie Tish? No, no Tish. Undie. Just second grade undies.

The same brand as I wear during the day but the ones that have been around for a lot longer. Looser. The elastics burst out. One of those full cotton onesies that old people wore in the 1800s. Like a gold miner. And he has a little candle on a platter.

And I undo the button flap and I put it down. For poopy. For poopy. I'm out here just searching for gold. We are five nights into the social experiment. And we've been messaging the group every night, sending nude photos of ourselves in bed. Here I am.

And we've heard from a few people. Chris, who probably wore the most to bed, he has been partaking and his first night didn't go well. Yeah, this is the alarm at the hotel he was staying at and he was sleeping nude. Committed to the experiment. Messaged the group saying,

well, now I've got to get changed to evacuate the building. Yes. Not a great start. So he was nude, had to then put on clothing. Yeah. But he has stuck to the experiment. Yeah. So far.

Jazz gave us some feedback on how it's going so far. Yeah, look, it hasn't been an overall unenjoyable experience. One bugbear at this stage. I get woken up a lot in the night being tackled by my hair. We've got the fan going at the moment because it's so hot. Me too, me too. And where there'd usually be a big baggy T-shirt, it's just skin.

So my hair is just constantly tickling me all night and I think there's bugs crawling on me as I wake up. I never even thought about this. I never even thought about this. Because we're also being blown by the fan at the moment. And yeah, the tickles on the back are interesting. Okay. Now Matt

chimed in and he has been quite outspoken about how much he's not enjoying the process. But here's how he's going now. You all know I'm not one to dramatise. Of course not. I have noticed a significant decline in how good my sleep is. I've been waking up heaps,

things just flapping about where they shouldn't. It's his junk. What's flapping? His junk. Once we get past that seventh night, I will definitely be back in my PJs. Now, shout out to the fact he's committed to the seven days, though. No one out of our...

He's backed away from it. Yeah, no one has dropped out. We've all committed. But why aren't people liking it? Do you know what? I think I could come around to this. I might extend my period of trial. Oh no, I'm going home for Christmas.

So I will be putting on clothes. Right. But for me, it's the boobies that's too much. And also just the shame of getting into bed. Like it feels stupid. Are you going to run? Or are you just sort of all nude? And you sort of getting into bed. Like it feels, you feel sort of stupid. Are you going to run? Or you're just sort of all nude and you sort of pour into bed

and I don't know. It's been interesting. But then yesterday I did get some back tickles and on a bareback it was quite nice. Back tickles from? From Aaron.

Oh, not the hair. Back tickles in bed, he would tickle you through the t-shirt. Yeah. No, you always go like this and you pull it up, don't you? Yeah, I know, but yesterday, I just

turned over and what he saw was an exposed bare back and he went in for tickles and that was really nice. Right. But I don't know, the baps everywhere is a little bit much for me. Well, I don't have to deal with the baps. No. But you've got bits flapping about. Yeah, but they flap, I don't know. You should just get it in position.

Yeah, just get it in position and you're fine. Yeah. Well, we've got two more days. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today, I do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do Now, you did kind of touch into the origin of the chocolate coin. Yes. Saint Nicholas, who originated in Turkey. So that's another thing that Christians won't like.

Santa's not white either. He's not white. Well, now's not the time for a religious thing, please. But Jesus 100% was not white. 1,000%. He wasn't blonde and blue-eyed. You didn't grow up in that area of the world 2,000 years ago and have a white face and just a nice sort of a light brown mousy.

You were like a Bondi beach dude. But did he have abs in that? Yeah, dude, he was ripped. But more from starvation than, you know, Les Mills. Yeah. I don't know, man. Carried that cross. That was the original CrossFit.

Yeah, I think that was CrossFit. Carrying the cross up the hill. He was fit to do it. He was fit. Yeah, I think cross fit. Carrying the cross up the hill. He was fit to do it. He was fit. Yeah. So, St. Nicholas would go around and originally

around this time of the year, people would be drying their socks, hanging them up and he'd put coins in the socks. Oh my God.

And that's why we have Christmas stockings and that's why we put things into the Christmas stockings, gifts and such. And he would especially help an impoverished young woman.

I don't know. Help. Help me, I'm poor. Linger outside their windows and toss coins into their socks, which is a bit creepy. What about impoverished men? Just women? More women.

Something tells me he was trying to get some. Yeah, dude. He was looking to get down. Yeah. So that's the origins of why coins were given. Of course, then to make it more appealing to children, chocolate, because kids love chocolate. Everyone loves chocolate.

Chocolate is delicious. Chocolate coins. And so they made chocolate coins. So I watched a 25-minute long video, which could have been five tops. Could have been an email. On how they make chocolate coins, because this is also something that we've debated.

Because they stamp the foil. On how they make chocolate coins, because this is also something that we've debated. Because they stamp the foil. Yeah, they do. This is how it works. Okay, so the chocolate is melted and poured into big flat sheets that run through a machine and they still... Have I got your attention or are you looking outside? I was looking at the tray. I was looking at the tray.

I don't know why he's looking outside. It's the return of the hot person, Belle. I didn't know. You were the one that wanted chocolate coin. You don't want to know why he's looking outside? It's the return of the hot person, Belle. I didn't know. You were the one that wanted chocolate coin, Lassie. And I'm giving them and you're not paying attention. I'm listening. So the big flat sheets of chocolate go through and a cutting template comes down

and it looks like a steel tube, like the width of a chocolate coin, and it punches into the chocolate and goes up. But here's the thing. It doesn't leave the chocolate in the flat, punched out. It actually goes up into a magazine-style loading of that tube, and when that tube's full, it empties, and they go into another conveyor belt.

Now, all the chocolate that's left with the holes all punched out of it. Remelt. Bingo. Remelt. Goes into a trap at the end that gets melted and shot back into the original pot. And then they try again. That chocolate's like, oh, not that time, but I'll try again. This could be me.

I get hooked into a coin. No, it must be again. Scraps again. Scram. So then it goes onto a conveyor belt and the chocolate discs at that stage go along. Wait, are printed with the? No. Not stamped yet.

In one fluent motion, it wraps the foil around. There's a machine that picks it up, and it goes one layer on, because you know when you're unwrapping them, there's always- There's two? There's two layers. Each half is wrapped. So the foil is stamped, not the chocolate. Wait.

And so it goes into it, and one goes in and it wraps around. Yeah. So top folds over the bottom. Then the next stage is it goes into a stamper and one stamper stamps both from the same side. But because the chocolate is warm, it stamps the foil and the chocolate at the same time. What you're admitting to is that the foil is stamped.

Because you said to me that the chocolate was stamped and the foil goes on and then adjusts to the foil. And I said, no, the foil is stamped. I thought I was arguing the point that I just told that they were both stamped at the same time, whereas I thought you were trying to say the foil was pre-stamped and then they put the chocolate in. Yeah, but mine's closer to the reality.

No, Vaughan's is closer. What I believe is the exact reality. No, Vaughan said the chocolate in. Yeah, but mine's closer to the reality. No, Vaughan's is closer. What I believe is the exact reality. No, Vaughan said the chocolate was stamped, which it's not. Raw dog stamped on the chocolate. And the foil goes on and... Yeah. Okay.

So we're both wrong. So you're both wrong. Okay. That's nice. Say I'm wrong. Say I'm wrong. I'm wrong and I'm wrong. And then they put them in a little onion sack

and give them to the warehouse. Then it goes in the onion sack and it gets clipped at the top and I'm wrong. And then they put them in a little onion sack and give them to the warehouse. Then it goes into the onion sack and it gets clipped at the top and it goes away. Cadbury got out of the chocolate coin game. Do you know Cadbury hasn't made chocolate coins for nearly 20 years? I don't know who makes them. You know why?

Why? Finicky. Yes. But the main reason why, they couldn't get enough purple on it. And there was nothing. Because it was gold. The coins were gold.

The little tag across the top of the onion sack said Cadbury. Yeah. But as soon as you pull that off, those chocolate coins could be from anybody. Yeah. And they do not want you eating a product that you don't immediately recognize as Cadbury. Oh, okay. And you might be thinking, but what about their other chocolates? Like, yeah, other Cadbury chocolates have their own branding that is so recognizable

as a brand that they're like, well, it doesn't matter if you know that that's owned by Cadbury. PAMS does them. They need enough purple. And they were just like, we can't get enough purple on there because people won't buy purple coins. And did you know, last little bit on chocolate coin fact, where I'm just ramming in all the chocolate coin facts I could find,

you can get chocolate poker chips. So you can play poker all night with poker chips. Oh, that wouldn't work for me. And at the end, you could just get a hole in a chocolate. Well, then that's the thing, right? You might eat your $5, and that's going to mean you can't get to the next round. And then I've got a good hand,

and then I've eaten all my iron. You're like, I'm all in, but you're all in is not much anymore because you ate all your poker chips. But I thought that was a cool take on like a poker night rather than paying for real money playing for chocolate. This is great. See how that was really fun.

All of it. It was a story. I really loved it. I think we've saved coin week. I think we've saved it from true damnation. I don't think you've saved anything. We couldn't save calendar week. I tell you what, we just couldn't save it.

Today's fact of the day. I don't know, there was heaps of them. You pick. Oh my God. Fact of the day, don't know there was heaps of them You pick Fact of the day Day day day day Do do do do do Do do do do do Do do do do do

Do do do do do Do do do do do Play ZM's Fletchvaughn and Hayley Now there is a story About a love struck male humpback whale who swam a record-breaking three oceans, 8,106 miles to get it. And I would swim 8,000 miles.

That's just over 13,000 kilometres for a hookup. That must be some ass. I bet she still had a complaint. You said you were going to be here yesterday. Why are you late? Did you bring me anything from the journey? Yeah, yeah. I'm hungry. What should we do for food? He's just like, grill? Boring. Oh my god, we had

grill yesterday. So I'm guessing that some kind of, they must have tagged this humpback whale at some stage with one of those, I don't know, do they put an air tag on? And then put some sellotape over it so it doesn't get leaky? Yes, duct tape, I think. So they duct tape an air tag to a humpback

whale. This is science. And then they basically follow this whale and, yeah. He went there, had a shag, did he go home or did he move there? Well, because they do this every season, don't they? They migrate. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and then I guess he, yeah. Were there no hotties in his local area? It is apparently the longest. Because any time I'm on the computer, it's constantly telling me there's hotties in my area. Me too. There's like grannies. Grannies?

No, not if you're a whale, it turns out. Oh, right. This apparently represents like the greatest, the longest great circle distance ever taken by a humpback whale between two locations. That's documented and all for a hookup. I hope she humped back.

Yeah, I hope she humped back too. We don't want to bill a princess. So this is what we wanted to ask this morning. Have you travelled for a hookup? Wow. Okay, I this morning. Have you traveled for a hookup? Wow. Okay.

I don't think I've traveled for a... We're not talking relationship, right? No, no, no, no. For a bit of booty. It's not a long distance relationship. Not interested. It's maybe you extend your arm distance on the apps. You know, you extend your location. Which I always think people should do.

You're matching with people, I don't know, that are 150 kilometres away. And so do you drive to Hamilton? We've already got some mad texts in. I went from New Zealand to London for a hookup. Someone I knew but had not hooked up with before. Okay. So just went over to London.

Wait, doing their OE or they booked a holiday? They were like, I'm going to go and this is going to happen. Well, I guess that was the driving force behind being like, well, I'll just go to London. For a holiday, I'm going for the driving force behind being like, well, I'll just go to London. For a holiday, I'm going for a hookup. That bomb deep. This is what we want to know this morning. 0800 dials at M. Give us a call. Hamilton to Tauranga, not that far. But that's still like, it's still a drive.

You used to be able to take a train. Beautiful train. Oh, Vaughan, stop going on about your train. You can go train through the Kaimai Ranges underneath. There's a tunnel. It's a rad tunnel. A lot of people travelling for this. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.

And a humpback whale has travelled nearly 13,000 or just over 13,000 kilometres for a hookup. It's a new world record. Now, we did say this was a male humpback. A female humpback previously had the record. So it's not just the men. Another one for males. Another one.

We got them. We got them, boys. We want to know how far you have gone for a hookup. Anna, this was a friend of yours. Yeah, so we were living in London a couple of years ago. And then she said, oh, I'm going on holiday. And we just assumed maybe she was traveling around the UK or going to Europe. Then about a week later, we got a post on Instagram saying she was back home the uk or going to europe yeah then like about a week later

we got a like post on instagram saying she was back home and she hadn't told anyone and then we realized yeah back in back in new zealand and then we realized that she'd been talking to this guy before she'd left and she'd gone home for a hookup that's like 28 hours to get home it's a long journey yeah that's with good flights tell Yeah, and you didn't tell anyone. Because you'd be embarrassed. Is it the judgment? Because did you guys know the guy? Were you like, oh, he's not worth going that far?

It's got to be pretty bomb D to go all the way around the world. No, we're only like, she'd only just talked to him before she'd left. Oh, okay. And then she just said, oh, yeah, actually, I've gone home to see him. But then went back a couple months later for Christmas. Oh, for the family trip. Okay, so she combined it with Christmas. So that's okay.

She went back a couple of months later for Christmas. Oh, okay. She did two trips. Now, did you get some feedback on whether or not it was worth it? Well, yes, they're actually engaged and getting married next year. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's bomb D. See, that's nice.

Once you find a bomb D, you never give it up. Wild that he never went to London, though. Yeah, true. that bombed it. See, that's nice. Once you find a bombed it, you never give it up. Wild that he never went to London, though. Yeah, true. Anna, thank you. Heidi, how far have you gone for a hookup? I went from London to Belgium. How did you meet this person in Belgium? Well, me and my friend went to Antwerp for a weekend, girls weekend.

And we were pretty deep in absence as well. Absence! You brave souls. Best decisions are made there. You were seeing the Green Fairy. Yeah, totally. Got lost in my hotel as well. But anyway, I was here with a barman at one of the bars. Yeah. Yeah, we ended up sort of hooking up.

And so I went home and then we were sort of chatting, so I went back. And then he came over to London as well. But yeah, that's when I went, no, I don't want to do this anymore. So you went to Belgium, but when he came to you, it was the ick. Yeah, I don't know why. You flew to Belgium to hook up with him, and when he came to you it was the ick. Yeah, I don't know why. You flew to Belgium to hook up with him

and when he flew to you you were like, ooh, full on. Desperate. Desperate calm down. Yeah, God. Give me some space, Tim. I love it.

Like his whole smell changed. I was like, no, this is yuck. Yeah, wow. Get out of my area. Get out of my space. Go back to Belgium, Tintin. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley.

Oh, my God, that top text. I haven't read the top text. I'm still getting through some of the ones at the bottom. Some great messages coming through. We want to know how far you've gone for a hookup based on the fact that there is a new record now for a migration from a whale, a humpback whale, 13,000 kilometres just for a hookup.

It's mating season, so, you know. Oh, yeah. Got to do what you got to do. Got to do what you got to do. How did they hookup. It's mating season, so, you know. Oh, yeah. Gotta do what you gotta do. Gotta do what you gotta do. How did they know she was gonna be there? I don't know. They were probably

texting along the way. Right. To find my... My now husband... Or it's Winder. You meet on Winder. Yeah, Winder. Whale Tinder.

Whale Tinder. Whale Tinder. Yeah. They swat white. My now husband, when we first dated, used to hitchhike from Makatu to Tokoroa

once a fortnight for a hookup. Killed her. And once walked to Rotorua to see me. Walked. I mean, come on. Like, get a bus. Get a bus. Or a rental.

We hitchhiked. Go pick the month. I need to know what she was doing when he got there. I need to know her tips and tricks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting a man to walk all the way to Rotorua, that's... Yeah. You've got it going on.

Salute you. Yeah, but this is why men do everything, isn't it? Build things. Yeah. Yeah, everything. Everything gets done. Anything that's been done

by a man throughout human history, it was because there's a chance of getting laid at the end of it. Oh, 100%. It's the driving force of life. Yeah.

You know, you think Captain Cook came down here because he loved exploring? No, he wanted some honeys. God, no. We the driving force of life. Yeah. You know, you think Captain Cook came down here because he loved exploring? No, he wanted some honeys. God, no, we had the Maori honeys. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I'd come all that way and that had been here,

I would have been like, worth it. Yeah, 100%. Worth it. Harrowing journey. Then you get into Hawaii. Take their land and then take their hearts. My God, fellow travellers, we've bloody done it. Stunning brown skin on her.

Bloody done it, boys. Hoorah. Tuck in, lads. Tuck in. He gets caught. I'm not going to eat him. And he's like, bloody great way to go if you ask me, boys. Shit, we've had a good run, haven't we?

All this way, beautiful bride room as far as I can see. And now they're going to eat me. Tops, tops, tops. Mark it down as that's how I want to go. Okay, great. Without all the bad stuff before.

Okay, yeah. Without the colonising. Yeah. Ideally. That's been done for me. Some other messages on how far you've travelled to get laid.

Not me, but someone travelled to Timaru. From Timaru to Christchurch for me for a hookup. Wow. Yeah.

This is a great message. I live on the south coast in Wellington. I occasionally get messages on Grindr from Nelson. The grit must be pretty dire down there but this fairy ain't taking a fairy. That's good. That's good.

Good from you. I bet that would result in the Cook Island Swimcross ever, right? Yeah, 100%. It'll be a gay. Yeah. Lubed up. Yeah.

Ready to just get in there. South to north. The water just, you just slip through the water. That's why. Yeah. Yeah. Just straight.

Half an hour. Wow, the record's like four. That's amazing. Well done. Yeah, it's crazy fast. Well done you. I must actually now Google what the Cook Strait swim record is.

If it was four hours, that's insane. It has to be longer than that, wouldn't it? But you always look at it. When you're in Wellington, you see the South Island, you're like, I could swim there. Well, they don't go to the ferry terminals. No, they don't go to the ferry terminals.

It's the beach. It's the ferry terminal. It's beach to beach. It's four hours, 33 minutes and 50 seconds. That's impressive. Is the fastest Cook Strait swim time. We're going to name on that one? 14,000 kilometres.

Sebastian? No, Andrew. Danny? Andrew Donaldson from the UK. Andy. Gay? I was going to say confirmation of sexuality. No.

20 years ago in Australia, my brother would sneak out of the house at night and bike 14 kilometres each way to his girlfriend's house for a hookup multiple times a week. Her dad would have killed him if he'd known or ever found out. As a virgin, I went to Kentucky from Invercargill. What? What?

What? They went to Kentucky. And I'm imagining USA. Fried chicken? Yes. Or USA. No, not to the local KFC. They went to Kentucky from Invercargill. So you got Invercargill to Auckland, Auckland to wherever, wherever to Kentucky. I think so. And then what happened?

To hook up with a girl I met a year earlier I hadn't kept in touch with. Met me in the airport and she told me she'd gotten herpes from sleeping with someone else. Oh, no. Whether that was true or not, I knew I wasn't going to get any. You should have got her to come here because we're the best country in the world to have herpes. We are. We are. Great Henry time.

De-stigmatise. Yeah, we're de-stigmatising. Should she have dropped that before? I reckon if, yeah, I reckon let them know before they come. Well, if the plan is to have sex, you should always disclose. But if I'm in Kentucky and I'm not going to sleep with this woman, I'll be finding another one, right? I've come all this way.

You've come all this way. I've come all this way. I'll get a Kentucky honey. Yeah. It's like going to KFC. If they're out of the breast, you get the thigh. You get the thigh and you're like, that's fine. In fact, I go for thigh. I'm a thigh guy. He is a thigh guy. And if they're out of the breast, you get the thigh. You get the thigh and you're like, that's fine. In fact, I go for thigh.

I'm a thigh guy. He is a thigh guy. And if they're out of chicken, I'll just do a potato gravy. Dude, I'm there. I'll go a Colonel Snack Attack. If I've gone all that way, I'll settle for a coleslaw and I'm out of there. I will not, however, go all the way to Kentucky for a three bean salad. Oh, God, no.

Get out of here. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listeners. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it. So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley.