ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 13th February 2024

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Rats  The Secret Slurp!  The Impossible Phoner!  Fletch has a Tesla Question  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshhorn and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fleshhorn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. Welcome back, brim brins. Yeah, it's been...

Where's brin been? Sunning it up on an island, I believe. Must be nice. Must be nice. Looking forward to seeing the tan. Mine's fading. It's been a bit... It's been a bit... It's been a bit...

It was cold this morning again. There's been a lot of sun. It's been a lot of sun. It was beautiful yesterday. Yeah. I didn't get a tan when I was sort of watching Telly on the couch. Oh, that'll be why you're not... That'll be why you're losing your tan.

I'll go outside today. Too much Love Island, which is ironic. Love Island. Why is ironic. Love Island. Why is that ironic? Well, because I'm not in the sun and they're golden in the sun. Oh, and they are in the sun. They're on an island, aren't they?

They are. Well, they're in South Africa. It's good fun. Is that where they're filming it? Yeah, this year. Oh, okay. Usually it's in like Mayorka, I think, or something like that.

Yeah, in Spain somewhere, right? But now they're in South Africa. Beautiful. Mountains in the background. Top six coming up and you may have heard Bryn say the current mouse or rat count that didn't end in the Africa. Beautiful mountains in the background. Top six coming up, and you may have heard Bryn say the current mouse or rat count at that Dunedin supermarket. Yeah.

What was it, 17? Yeah, that's quite a lot, isn't it? It's hard to ignore. They're not all rats. A mice in the potato salad. A mouse in the potato salad. But is it the same countdown that had the mouse in the potato salad? I might need to do some further investigation

because I thought they'd shut that, yet this seemed to be a newer video. But a mouse was skedaddling around, and great news, that mouse will be joining us in studio for today's top six. We've spent a little bit of top six budget to fly the mouse up, and the mouse will be in studio

delivering his top six favorite deli items. Oh, okay. As rated by DMs, what we're calling him, the deli mouse. The deli mouse. Deli mouse in studio before seven. Very special guest. Very excited to have our first top six guest. I hope you've got potato salad on the list.

Well, I guess it's not my list. It's not my list. Wow. It's the mouse's list. How are they going to speak to my list. It's not my list. Wow. It's the mouse's list. How are they going to speak to us? I'm excited. I actually speak a little mouse. Oh, do you?

Oh, that's good. Wow. Yeah, right. Well, the top six. Did you not do mouse in third form? No. No. French.

Oh, wasted. Absolute waste. Wasted language. Mouse would have been way better. So much better. Next on the show. I have Australia's top searched personal goals

for 2024. I love that we've got to search them before we commit to them. We've got to make sure they're like ripe. Yeah. Some of them are quite

straightforward. Some of them are a little off. You guys didn't set any goals, eh? Don't set goals, don't fail. Exactly. Yeah, right. I set some goals. Did you?

Yeah. For the year? For the year. I wrote a to-do list the other day. For the year? No, just for the day. Oh, okay, that doesn't count. Trim the hedges, dig a hole, and there was one other thing.

Doesn't count. Done, done, done. Dig a hole? Yeah, I had to dig a hole for a second. Okay. Okay, let's have a look. Okay, what are yours dig a hole for a second. Okay. Okay. Here, let's have a look. Okay, what are yours? Prioritise sleep.

How's that going for you? Remember the other day I woke up at 11pm and just stayed awake till I had to leave for work at four? By the way, speaking of sleep, you recommended I listen to the Brown Noise playlist. Yeah. No go. Because it was a bunch of three-minute-long Brown Noises

and when one ended and the next one started, I woke up every time. You've got to pay for premium you're getting ads aren't you no no no I pay for premium yeah yeah yeah

it wasn't the ads it wasn't our way through and it was like are you enjoying this service boy would you like to pay for it no it was just they were too short

I'm going to pay for an app because there must be a brown noise app that will just literally play as long as you I need to pay

for a machine because I've got the literally play as long as you I need to pay for a machine Because I've got the rattle I tried last night I listened for maybe 30 seconds And I was like There's that rattle I've bugged the speakers I used Alexa last night

To listen to the brown noise I've got a friend that's got a white noise app But can you get brown noise on that? Absolutely You'd be able to get a brown noise app You'd get it on T-Mill or something Yeah Get a brown noise machine

So prioritize sleep Get a brown noise machine That's not going well. I feel like that would burn your house down. Yeah. Yes. Which is kind of counterproductive to sleep, isn't it? That's red noise.

Having no house. Walk every single day. That's not going well. Three completely booze-free days a week. I think I've done that twice. Focus on skin. But we are how many weeks into the year five? I don't know, like six.

It'll be five or six weeks. Anyway, Australia's top personal goals that they've Googled. I have a list of the top 10 Google searches from Australia for personal goals. Okay.

Number 10, how to budget. That's good because actually there are like good like tangible techniques. Use a spreadsheet. Do this,

do that. That makes sense. How to stop. That makes sense. That makes sense. How to stop that makes sense. That makes sense. Number nine, how to stop overthinking. I feel like in Googling, you're already overthinking it. What are the

techniques to overthinking something? Like you have anxiety on a Sunday or whatever. Stop drinking. How to stop that one. How to stop overthinking. Six tips to regain control. Be mindful. Question your thoughts. Own your overthinking. Six tips to regain control. Be mindful. Question your thoughts.

Own your overthinking. Challenge your thoughts. Focus on what you can control. Talk therapy. Eh. Too much work. Yeah. Number eight, how to get better sleep.

Yep. Again, I get it. It's tangible. Brown noise apps or do this or no screen time. How to stop drinking is number seven. Oh, okay. Yeah. There's, again, you could probably find some things. Number six, develop career path

was the seventh most Googled personal goal. In Australia. How to develop career path. Would that be like a career change or just a path in the way? Or just, yeah, getting better positions in your current kind of job. But it's different for everyone.

Like you guys sort of followed like a normal sort of career trajectory for radio. I just walked in. I didn't go to train. This one, eh? I don't learn. You say words,

I don't need to know them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like quite a, I would say a lot of what you've learned is wasted. Like Vaughan, did you learn to do the machine and then realise that you don't need to know them. Do you know what I mean? I would say a lot of what you've learned is wasted. Like, Vaughn, did you learn to do the machine and then realise that you don't need to do it? Yeah, because Fletch does it.

Fletch does it. You know what I mean? So I don't need to do the machine. And he's like, what are the... And if he dies, I just stop doing this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you can't work anymore if I die. You can die, Vaughn, and I could die,

and the show would go on. But if Fletch dies, we'll all just keel over in a ball. Stop. I think radio itself. Radio itself would stop. Radio in general. It would be the final nail in the coffin. That is radio. Yeah, right. Because you two would be on media. Turn off the FM transmitter that side. Right, okay. It's podcasts

only. I think you'll find everyone's pretty replaceable. Imagine us just like wandering around the funeral. Jesus, you believe that management bullshit? Have everybody been replaceable? Are you kidding me? Try to replace this guy. That applies to the majority of us here. But not you. You're the

only one we need. No way. I've spent nearly two decades crafting this beautiful personality to be simply unmissable. But it doesn't matter, Vaughn, if someone doesn't push the button so he can hear you and that personality. You should have learnt the machine.

You should have learnt the machine. You should have learnt the machine. Number five, quit smoking. Oh, we've already all done that, haven't we? I believe everybody's moved on to vaping so they don't care now. Yeah. And then they were going back to smoking.

Really? Are we? Well, Christopher Lux's sister-in-law's got anything to do with it. Oh, yeah, true. Number four, stop snoring. You know how people take their mouths shut? Yeah. I feel like I get hay fever and my nose will congest and then I'll just die.

Because you can't breathe. Yeah, which we find for the show because we've already established I could die and nothing would happen. Okay, the top three most searched personal goals from Australia for 2024. How to drink more water. Jesus, you need to Google that. Yeah, turn the tap on. Put some kind of vessel under the tap. And the jump between number four, stop snoring, 91,000 searches.

Yeah. How to drink more water, 165,000 searches at the end of last year. Oh my God, this explains so much about Australia, doesn't it? Drink more water.

Turn that tap on. Open your gullet. Yeah. Tap on. That might have just been people who live in the outback though. Very dry out there.

They might just need like how do I find more water? Open a bottle of water. Open a bottle of water. Yeah, they have access to water. I don't think like unreached tribesmen are Googling how to drink more water.

Top two, how to eat healthy. Yep. Gut health. Maybe they're searching fermented goods. Maybe they need to eat more fermented foods. What do you reckon number one is? So that's 192,000. How to lose weight.

Yep. 365,000. How to lose weight. But they have a lot of, they can just get on an online service in Aussie and get Ozempic. Yeah, they can. I was watching 60 Minutes. Yeah, you've got to,

it's an online doctor, so they, you know, they've still got to have a doctor's appraisal. Quite on quiet. But yeah, they can get it. And the other kind of types of it as well. Yeah. Insane.

New South Wales was the region that searched that the most, that were the most concerned. Yeah, because of Bondi. Have you been to Bondi? Yeah. God, everyone's so hot. Yeah, I know. You'd have to take a little shot of the Zimpy.

My bloody Bondi's are really having a feast in Bondi, aren't they? Bondi's, more like Bond-thigh. Ooh, Bondi's, more like Bondi's would like to touch. No. Bondi's would like a slice of that. Let's just stop there. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly Little Poll. Silly Little Poll. Silly Little Poll. Silly Little Poll. Today's Silly Little Poll is should you put your partner's name in your Instagram bio?

Yuck. I have this. What do you mean you have this? But it just says like husband of. It was silly. Oh, yeah. Husband of the year. Oh, you're silly, do you?

Husband of the year. 2010 to 2028. Now, I took some liberties and kind of scheduled in the next eight years when I did this. Very presumptuous. But still married. I like the joke of it. And also, like, you're a personality and Sade is sort of a character in your life. Well, people have got to know I'm taken.

Did you guys know? All the time I get DMs. Because they can't be sliding in. Yeah. He's still with Sharks. I feel like the gays do this a lot. Yeah. Just to be like, don't slide in.

Or do. I don't know. Oh, I thought you meant the gays were sliding in. And they do. Oh, they do. Or they love you. They love you, don't they? Oh, gosh.

Do they what? You're absolutely farmer beer daddy, aren't you? Do you know Aaron got Instagram? Did he? Yeah. When? Like over a year ago. Okay.

But it's like no posts, private, and it's just so he can have a looky around. He's a lurker. Yeah. So you're not going to write his name in your bio? I don't want anyone to know that I'm taken. Do you know I'm an open book? You're open to suggestions I'm open to persuasions suggestions

opportunities international celebrities visiting I'm open oh yeah you don't want my mom being like click on the main page

what was that girl I had that interview with and they click on her and be like oh my gosh she's taken yeah yeah oh my god

having a partner's name in your Instagram bio, cute, love it, or no, it's cringe? 89% saying no, it's cringe. It is cringe. 11% saying cute, love it. Love of my life. Dan, I'm a huge fan of my partner, but who is the star?

That's right, it's me. You're the main character. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to put someone else on the billing on your profile. I'm a huge fan of my partner. That's a really nice way on the billing on your profile. I'm a huge fan of my partner. That's a really nice way to say it. It is. I'm a big fan of yours.

Emily said, this is cringe even if you're 12 or 42. Yeah. On my MySpace profile, I used to have a whole section dedicated to Benjamin. I was like, this is my gorgeous boyfriend. And where is he now? Happy, happily married, and he's got lots of daughters. He started a family. God bless.

Sean says, nearly as bad as a joint name Facebook page. Yes. Let's not put it on. Not as bad. Not as bad. No, not as bad at all. Not as bad. That's way worse.

Amy says, it has such strong Year 7 vibes. Even worse. Oh, yes, I've seen this. What? Even worse if there is a lock next to the partner. Oh. I've got them locked down. Oh.

Who knows? Maybe I'm just bitter because I'm single and it's Valentine's Day. Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah, true. I think we asked this at the wrong time of the year. Oh, yeah. Because you know what the single bitter people are like around this time of the year. Weeping messes.

Sad, lonely, weeping. Like the cats out on the driveway in the middle of the night just meowing at each other really loudly. Terrible time of the year. Benny says, people anti this are single or burnt by past bad relationships. And he's swinging for the fences. Yeah, but I mean, look at the results. 89%.

It's cringe. It is. Single or not, it's cringe. Majority says. Katie, who I really like, it says her name

and then it has an emoji of a raccoon. Oh, okay. Does she like raccoons? They're very cute. They are so cute, especially when they rub their hands together.

Yeah, the wash bears. Wash bears, we learned that on Fact of the Day last week. We learned so much on Fact of the Day. Before they rub their hands together. Yeah, the wash bears. Wash bears, we learned that on Fact of the Day last week. We learned so much on Fact of the Day. Before they got the name raccoons, they used to be called wash bears because it looks like they wash all their food in their hands.

Katie Raccoon says, this screams, this guy's cheated on me seven times. Yeah. Yes. 100%. Yes. Candy. Candy's got a raccoon persona name as well.

Is this a thing? Is this a millennial? Shannon? Is this a Gen Z thing? Do you know what this means? It means you're getting old and you don't know. Oh, my God, Shannon, you're no longer relevant. Oh, my goodness.

You're out of touch. Can you quickly do some of that Googling and find out what it means if you've got a raccoon beside you? Yeah, I'll do. I've had a fall and now I don't know a social media trend. Oh no. I'll figure it out

and I'll be sick. Yeah, this could be actual serious trauma. Head trauma. I wonder if it might be something to do with single ladies ahead of Valentine's Day.

Because they're all like, I've never seen this and now two raccoons in a row? Unless this is some sort of weird Instagram glitch, best glitch ever if you ask me.

Oh yeah. Candy says, it's cringe but also as a single woman, it helps tell me if a man is readily available or if I see his name on somebody else's page. Okay, Shannon has an answer. We head back to the social media desk. A sense of playful mischief and secrecy.

Oh. Yeah, I think it's like that. Rubbing their hands together. Yeah, I'm figuring you out boys Where did this start? Do some more digging please I've got a raccoon beside my name on Instagram I don't think you should

I don't know if you have a sense of playful mischief Actually you do Secrecy not so much God the boy loves to gossip This is my next question How do I do it? Carry on with this. Do I edit something?

The poll. Carry on. Megan, who has a sunflower beside her name, says, I have his initials, but they're the same as mine, so I could look cringe or egotistical. Egotistical. Both. You don't want to look egotistical. No.

Especially if you've got a big ego. Yeah. Or an egotistical. That's one of those ones that's jumping the gun a little bit. So apparently, democracy states that it is very cringe to have your partner's name in your Instagram bio and check mine in about five minutes because I'm going to work out how to put a raccoon beside me. I want more symbols.

And are you going to delete your wife's name? No. Even though we've confirmed it's cringe. Even though it is cringe. Go edit profile, Han. Oh my God, wait, does she have yours? Wife to Vaughn Anonymous. Oh.

She's a closed book, though. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. God knows the men she's missed out on. It feels like you're calling, she would have had her pick. I was looking at her naked yesterday. And I was just like, God damn. That was nice.

And I gave it a smack. I saw her breasts the other day and I was just like, God damn, that's nice, and I gave it a smack. I saw her breasts the other day and I was like, phenomenal. Yeah, they're not bad. I enjoy them. When I'm granted access, I enjoy them. A lot. Do you know what? If I wasn't locked.

When I'm granted access, like it's a time vault. It's a timeshare. I have to book in my week. Twice a year? It's never the week I want. It's always in winter in Topol. I know. So cool.

Can't use the pool. No. I would, do you know what I mean? If I wasn't working with Vaughn and I needed this job and so I couldn't sabotage this working relationship, I would. I'd have a go. Nice.

I take that as the highest praise. I've had lesbians tell me before. Oh, I know. That love a go. And I said, well, book in your week. So, Dad, you go edit profile. Oh, my God. He can do this later.

Name. And then you change that there. 625 next on the show. We're staying on the tangent of relationships. We're going to talk about the bristle reaction. It's quite funny. And how you may mitigate this in your relationship. Play ZM's Fletch

Vaughan and Hayley. God, this is relationships are hard, aren't they? The longer they go on, as I'm reading this. There's something that has garnered millions and millions and millions of Google searches and it's called the bristle reaction. And it is when you've been in a relationship

for so long that when they touch you, you go, you recoil. Oh, that's not good. That's not a good sign. Bristle reaction. Literally, you're just like bristling. Because you've got the ick from them? Basically, it's a very similar thing to just being like,

ugh, at your own partner after a while. God, that's that was just in that song. Ugh. I said what I said. The bristle reaction. A lot of people saying like what is this thing

that when my partner who I've been with for so long and whose physical touch I know suddenly it's not like I'm consciously recoiling

your body just has a ugh. Okay, that can't be a good thing, right? Can't be a good thing. Okay, that can't be a good thing, right? Can't be a good thing. No, that can't be a good thing. Well, psychologists and a clinical sexologist called Ness Cooper says it's not a bad thing. It's not bad because it's like you're not sort of consciously doing it. It's actually quite a normal thing and probably a sign that your libidos are mix-matched for a while.

And that there's very easy ways to get away from the bristle reaction. And it's about touching more in ways that don't lead to sexual encounters. Because your body's kind of like learning that if you've been together for so long that when touching someone, it kind of leads a certain way and it becomes very predictable. And if you're now in a mix-match and you're going like, I actually don't want that at the moment, your body will immediately have this like knee jerk reaction or the bristle

reaction. Would that happen when couples don't touch that much? They only touch for that? For, to lead to sexual intimacy. And so they're going like, if this is something, one,

it's a conversation to say like, this is what's happening. And two, to incorporate more physical touch that doesn't lead that way. I got a foot massage last night that didn't lead to sexual intimacy. Maybe that was at the mall though. No, no, no.

It was in the bed. Fanny's magic fingers. Under the escalator. Fanny's magic fingers, sometimes too strong for me. Oh, they go a little bit hard. You can ask them to tone down the... No, I'm a Kiwi. Nobody does.

I'm a New Zealander. I don't tell them the pressure's too much. Is this too hard? No. It smells great. Oh, my God. Thank you very much. How is a tiny lady so strong?

What is wrong with you, woman? So strong. Yeah, I got a foot massage that didn't lead to sexual activity. It was great. My only complaint was that I got one foot. Oh, wow. Okay. So he was over it.

Maybe he read the room that it wasn't leading anywhere. Sometimes I'll do that. I'll abandon it. I'll be like, oh, this isn't. He had one foot and then he just saw that I was just like recoiled on the side. And he's like, oh, I'm not getting anything out of this. He's like, this looks like the Brussels effect to me. I think she might be giving me the Brussels reaction right now.

Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Yes, good morning. We'll all be familiar with the story of the rats in Countdown Dunedin South. Yes. And they've found more, haven't they?

They have. It remains shut. There was a story 14 hours ago saying they caught 13 more rats. That's more rats over the weekend. On top of the rats they'd caught previous to the weekend. Four trapped last week, 13 more over the weekend, 17 rats in total. Sounds like we've got a nest. I hate rats.

Do you know what? I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often. We were just saying that they are huge warehouses full of food. With surely heaps of entry points. You couldn't like seal tight a ginormous warehouse like that. There'll be holes. Mouse and rat holes.

And then so another one in Christchurch. Eastgate Countdown had a mouse crawling around the potato salad. A cute little mouse. And we're actually very lucky to be joined in studio by, we're

calling him DM, Dally Mouse. Dally Mouse, okay. We could call him EDM, Eastgate Dally Mouse and also electronic direct mail and electronic dance music. Yes. EDMs are nice, so EDM is in the studio, just a quick rename there. Good morning, EDM.

Oh! Oh! It is a pleasure to have in the studio. Just a quick rename there. Good morning, EDM. Oh. It is a pleasure to have you in studio. Yes, I also feel you've been unfairly chastised in the news. He's right, though. He's got a point. He's simply a mouse trying to get by. Is that what he said? Sorry, you're going to have to translate for us.

Oh, you guys don't speak mice. We don't speak mice. We did French. I do apologise. I do apologise. A waste of language. And I did Duolingo Spanish speak We don't speak mice. We did French. I do apologise. I do apologise. A waste of language. And I did Duolingo Spanish. I was going to say,

I did Jewish, and I was like, I don't know if that's how we call the language. I did Duolingo Spanish. You did Duolingo Spanish. Well, I did Duolingo Rodent. Okay.

So I can speak all range of rodents. Well, we've got EDM in studio, so now EDM is going to tell us EDM's top six deli items as rated by the Eastgate Deli Mouse. Okay. Number six. Shaved ham.

Sounds like a bird, doesn't it? A classic. Yeah. Yeah. You don't speak mouse. Mouse. It's actually really offensive to say that one language sounds like another one. Okay, sorry.

It feels racist. It does. It feels racist. Got you. You're going to say it to the Chinese? No. So, Idiyem, you like ham. Shaved ham.

Shaved ham. It's just a classic. It's my go-to. I got 200 grams of that stuff yesterday. It's a classic. Number five on the list of the top six deli items as rated by the Eastgate Deli Mouse.

Dude, dude. Sorry, you guys Sorry, quick translation for us The cheap tangy coleslaw Yeah, yeah Don't pay for the more Extensive coleslaw It's the cheap stuff

It's just got the tang Tang and sweet Tang, little short Real crunchy That's the good stuff Yeah, you're right actually Man, that's an Eastgate Deli Mouse I'm thinking there's more to it

A bit of a Ratatouille situation Could be A bit of a He knows his food He knows his food Number four on the list Of the top six deli items As rated by the Eastgate Deli Mouse I'm thinking there's more to a bit of a ratatouille situation. Could be. A bit of a... He knows his food. He knows his food. Number four on the list of the top six deli items as rated by the Eastgate Deli Mouse. Yeah.

Yes, dude. Shredded chicken. Oh, yeah. Always powdery. Shredded chicken, though, to me, is all the rotisseries they couldn't sell. So they shred it. It's a sourcing.

It does need a sourcing. It's very dry. It's a little bit of extra sourcing. It does need a sourcing. It's very dry. It needs a little bit of extra sourcing. Because it's breast normally, isn't it? Yeah. Number three on the list

of the top six deli items as rated by the Eastgate Deli Mouse. Oh, yeah. Okay. Dutch salami. Okay. Verkerk's Dutch salami.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. We get that. A little bit of a spicy salami. I've got 200 grams of that stuff. Yeah, that's good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. I actually saw's Dutch salami. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We get that. A little bit of a spicy salami. I got 200 grams of that stuff yesterday. Yeah, that's good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually saw it on the line.

I had the deli yesterday. I read it down at the supermarket yesterday. Did you? Yeah, she had quite a good balanced shop and I had corn chips and cheese dip. And it was in the booze section when we found each other. Yeah. All right, I'm trying to find some American beers

for the Super Bowl. Oh, yeah, okay. I was going to get Corona. Yuck. So plain. So plain. So watery. It's not enjoyable. Number two on the list of the top six deli items as rated by the Eastgate Deli Mouse.

Expensive taste. The egg and celery salad. That thing always weighs more and costs more than you imagine it's going to. Good protein source though. You're right there, Mouse. And it's yum. Don't get me wrong. Oh, it's yum.

But he's not paying. He's just crawling over and eating it. True, true, true. This though. You're right there, Mouse. And it's yum. Don't get me wrong. Oh, it's yum. But he's not paying. He's just crawling over and eating it. True, true, true. This guy's got the right of the area. He rules. And number one on the list of the top six deli items as rated by the Eastgate are deli mouse. Oh, God. Right.

Feels aggressive on that one. Yeah, that was aggressive. He's selling it with passion. Yeah. Because it's the deli cocktail sausages. Wow. The Cheerios. Cheerios. Yeah. cocktail sausages. Wow. The Cheerios. Cheerios, yeah.

Yeah, good stuff. Yeah. Oh, delicious. Yeah, it rules. He was getting aggressive there because he said at the end, it rules particularly

when you pick one up but one's joined to it. Yeah. So if you're trying to share with your siblings you have to eat two and that sort of counts as one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One, yeah. Well, thank you very much Eastgate Deli Mel. Yes, thank you. Really appreciate your time. Yep. Yep. Yep.

We don't need your life story. It was just... He was asking if we were paying for his flight back. No, he can walk. No, no, no, we've booked it. He can't walk. He's got such cute little legs. Such cute, tiny little legs.

That is today's top six. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Netflix in Korea, the Korean division, which has given us some gems. It's so good. South Korea makes excellent TV and film. North Korea?

They make films different, though. Well, they've got to all have one of the sanctioned haircuts. Yes. Don't they? From Kim Jong-un. Un. Un. Un. Don't they? Of course they do. From Kim Jong-un. Un. Un. Un.

How dare you? That wasn't me. You should know his name. And now we're a bloody target. Well, now I can't go to North Korea, can I? You know they're listening right now. Are they? Yeah.

Well, that's our lives done. Well, Netflix and South Korea have greenlit a new movie, which I'm not even going to attempt to say the name of because it's quite long and I don't speak Korean. So my apologies. Wow, doesn't speak Korean. What a prick. What next? Gotcha. What next? This film

will see a father attempting to turn his daughter back into a human being after she was accidentally turned into a chicken nugget. I beg your pardon? I knew you'd chicken nugget. I beg your pardon? I knew you'd find that funny. I beg your pardon?

Chicken nugget. So it follows the daughter of a company president who mistakes a new machine as a device which helps her with fatigue, and she accidentally gets turned into a chicken nugget. And then her father and the intern, which also has a crush on her, must work together to try to turn her back into a chicken nugget. And then her father and the intern, which also has a crush on her, must work together to try to turn her back into a human. But at the same time discovering secrets.

So it translates to chicken nugget. Does it? Duck gangjeong. Which is chicken nugget. Oh, you saw, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I forgot you spoke Korean.

Yeah, of course I speak Korean. We all do, other than you. Oh my God. And also the greatest thing about South Korea, the fried chicken. Oh my you. Oh my God. And also the greatest thing about South Korea, the fried chicken. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Yes. Yes. So I don't know. I think this is in production or it's about to be. This is fantastic. I'm excited. I'm excited.

This is so good. Special shout out as well on Netflix at the moment. I just finished last night Griselda. Yeah, we're loving it. Which has Sofia Vergara. Vergara. Yeah. Where's all this

pre-Spanish? I'm only up to 100. Sofia Vergara. What the frick? That is unbelievable. Doesn't speak Korean or Spanish. And so she plays

this drug lord basically. This famous drug lord that people hardly knew about. Everyone thinks of Pablo Escobar. Great show. Six Eps. Made by a lot of the Narcos people. Yeah drug lord that people hardly knew about. Everyone thinks of Pablo Escobar. Great show. Six Eps. Made by a lot of the Narcos people.

Yeah, have made the TV shows about Pablo. Insane. And then you look at what- It starts with a quote from Pablo Escobar saying she's the only woman he's ever been scared of. The only person he's ever been- The only man I've ever been scared of was a woman. Yeah, named Roselle.

It's incredible. Oh my God. Reading the plot of the show, it just looks fantastic. If you could be turned into a chicken nugget, which one would you be? The boot. The boot. It's the boot, eh? The boot.

You dip the boot first. And it hooks into the mouth. Yeah, it hooks in. But that's why you'd get eaten. If you were going to get turned into one and the idea was you didn't want to be eaten until you could be turned back, you'd want to be the least appealing nugget shape. You want to be one that's six. I mean, when have you left a nugget? Never. and the idea was you didn't want to be it until you could be turned back you'd want to be the least appealing nugget shape you want to be one that's like I mean when have you left a nugget? never

yeah when do you get a six pack and be like that's not my favourite shape I'm going to leave that never never I've been watching Married at First Sight now I didn't catch last night's episode because I was catching up on Love Island

I'm really stocked up on reality TV at the moment. And you've been neglecting Curb Your Enthusiasm. I've been neglecting Curb. I've been neglecting finishing off Griselda. And then you started Oppenheimer and stopped when they detonated the bomb. I know. Seems like a good time to stop.

She didn't get the regret. I'm smart. I've got to build a bomb. Build a bomb doesn't work. Don't tell me there's. I'm smart. I've got to build a bomb. Build a bomb. Does it work? Don't tell me there's regret from the man that invented pretty much the demise of humanity. Yeah, there is. Yeah.

About 45 minutes of regret after the bomb test. That's all a good stomach. And then it was like, yeah, you know what? They had this coming. Yeah, totally. I feel like I saw the gist of it and I'm good. Okay. But MAPS, one episode, they do all the weddings first, obviously,

and then we kind of get into the experiment of it. And at one of the weddings, one of the brides, who was definitely cast as the villain this season, she's been labelled crazy, she's quite a lot. She's a lot. And I, yeah, a lot recognises a lot. Do you know what I mean? Okay. Well, at least a lot is I yeah I a lot recognises a lot do you know what I mean okay well at least

a lot is just another word for crazy yeah yeah totally like she got too drunk at her own wedding kept tripping up on her own gown and all this kind of stuff anyway she was late to the wedding and for a number of reasons now producer Jarrod who's also watching

just reminded me of the fourth reason. What was the fourth reason, Jarrett? She forgot her bouquet. She forgot her bouquet. And so she made the limo pull over and she just went into a bush and yanked out some bush flowers. Trash. She's just like a hot mess.

And then she forgot those flowers in the limo as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's her name? Lauren. Laura. Laura, Lauren. What's her name? Lauren. Laura. Laura, Lauren. I'll start with Lauren. Just go search Crazy Mass Bride.

So she slept in and when the cameras are in her room as she's waking up, hungover recognises hungover. Yeah. So she's hungover. On the way to the wedding, the limo got stuck in the mud and couldn't get up the hill. So she's running really late. The funny reason for me was she was wearing this white

dress and then just before she's about to leave, she's like, do I need a tan? And she quickly fake tans her body. Now, if you have ever fake tanned before, you know that if you fake tan and then don't shower before you put clothes on, it rubs. And during the whole wedding, I can see her wedding dress is just like covered in brown. It's so bad. It's so bad. Anyway. So she's late to her wedding because she

fake tans. She fake tanned. And then didn't wash off. One leg as well because she's got a split up one side. So she just does the one leg that's exposed and it's just like blotching everywhere. It's terrible. I want to know why you were late to your wedding. And when I thought of this question, I was like, my parents were late to their wedding

because their limo driver, my parents only had four guests, very small low key wedding, but their limo driver went to, like say it was like Browns Road. They went to Browns Road, South Auckland, not Browns Road, North Auckland. Right. And then they called them being like, where are you? And they're like, well, where are you?

And then they had to drive there. This is why I always put my passcode when I give my address out. Great idea, Rach. Yeah, you have to do it. You have to. There's a Browns Road in probably every bloody suburb of New Zealand.

Anyway, why were you late to your wedding? Maybe you had a last minute. Was it you needed a tan? Needed a quick tan? Was it bad traffic? Maybe you realised that you didn't, you know, you didn't have a wax and you had to do a quick little waxy row. I thought you were going to say maybe you realised you didn't want to do it.

And then you decided you would. Then you decided you would, so you're late. Maybe that's what happened. Maybe you were like, maybe I do, maybe I don't, maybe I do, maybe I don't. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Right now, though, we're talking about why you were late to your wedding because one of the Mavs brides, Lauren is her name, has been cast as the crazy one this season.

Which you relate to a bit. Crazy recognised crazy. Yeah. Boozer recognised boozer. Okay. And she was late because she decided as she was in her gown, hair done, makeup done, ready to go, that she needed to tan her leg. The one leg. And so she's

like, leg up, giving it a little buff. So we asked why you were late to your wedding. And it turns out a lot of you have been. Sarah, why were you late to your wedding. And it turns out a lot of you have been. Sarah, why were you late for your wedding? I was not late to my wedding. My darling husband was late to our wedding. Oh.

Yeah. So I, well, not me, my bridesmaid got a phone call from the best man a couple of hours before. Well, actually it wasn't quite a couple of hours, about an hour before we were due to go to the venue. Yep. And he had forgotten his suit. Oh. How far was the suit from where you were? Well, we live in Rotorua.

He left the suit at home and we were getting married in Taupo. Oh, dear. Okay, so what, you're about an hour Or so late Because that's a couple of hours Yeah So it ended up being I think it was about An hour and a half At the end

He quickly jumped in the car Drove all the way home Grabbed it Came back He thought that I had Everything packed And delivered Oh

Okay To our different places Because I was getting ready Somewhere else Okay But no no I did tell him That the one thing you had to grab was food too. Yeah, of course you told him.

Of course you told him. Yeah. No. So what did your guests do? Did they just hang around for that extra time? We were really lucky because we'd organised a grazing platter for immediately after the ceremony. So the lady arrived fairly quickly into it or fairly early on. I would have demolished that crazy.

So they had food and booze and whatnot. Oh, thank God. Oh no, but that's not good. Yeah, but then by your wedding, they're totally boozed. Yeah, and they ate it all early. It was great, and it was cool, because all that really awkward ice-breaking people talking to each other part happened before I even got there. Everyone was comfortable with each other.

They were all chatty. Everyone was getting along. It was quite nice. At a good level. Brilliant. Sarah, thank you. Nicole, why were you late to your wedding? I was late to my wedding. I had to line up at the Department of Internal Affairs and pick up a passport for my honeymoon the next morning,

which I realised on the morning of the wedding that it had expired. Oh, babe. Well, honeymoon's the next day after a wedding. Wild. You need a few days' wind down after a wedding. What was that like? Was it just chaos the next morning, even after the wedding, getting sorted for that?

Yeah, it was. But luckily, when I was in line at the DIA, I had to use the bathroom, and the bathroom wasn't open on a Saturday afternoon, and so I had to pop over to Sky City to use theirs, jump over, put 20 bucks in the pokies and put the jackpot. I'm here.

I'm here. I'm here. It's my lucky day. They open on a Saturday afternoon but they don't open their toilets. No, because it was an emergency and I wanted a passport

so it cost me $1,000 but I won $300 on the jackpot and the pokies. Okay, so it cost you $700. Yeah, okay,

well that's better than $1,000. So the groom's standing at the end of the aisle while you're at the pok cost you $700. Yeah, okay, well, that's better than $1,000, isn't it? So the groom's standing at the end of the aisle while you're at the pokies winning $300. I love this. Why not? Brilliant. Nicole, thanks for your call. Chelsea, you were late for your wedding? No, my dad was late for his wedding.

Okay. Because they went to leave the house, and my uncle ended up somehow putting his arm through the glass door so the glass door shattered his arm split open they needed to go to a and a and they literally passed my mum's limo as she was heading for the wedding on the motorway yeah they were freaking out and so luckily the girls spotted the guys, they got in touch and the girls

subtly took mum on a, got the limo driver to take mum on a scenic route. Oh, beautiful,

beautiful. Mum had no idea but she had picked up that obviously they were like an hour late, later than what

they were meant to arrive at the wedding. Everyone got there, uncle in a bandage, everyone was there. Oh, jeepers. I love how you're like, somehow he slipped. Chelsea, thank you, some messages in. Do you know what these people need is they need a Vaughan Smith.

They need a countdown, a Vaughan Smith. Vaughan does a countdown. Yeah. Like a theatre countdown, like a stage manager. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we knew what time we had to start walking down to where the bus was picking us up. And I'm great in the morning of a wedding because I've got literally nothing to do. Once I've shaved my head, I only need about five minutes to put on a suit.

Yeah. Very little can go wrong there. I don't eat or anything in the clothes. I do that more or less naked. Yeah. Yeah, I was there for all this. I was just laying around in my undies. Also, you don't want to get sweaty.

Yeah, no, you don't. You don't want to get sweaty before the wedding. And an hour out, I started giving every five or every 10 minutes until 20 minutes. And then from there on, every five minutes until we actually had to be walking out the door.

Which you appreciated. And then we left literally on the minute. Yeah. On the minute we were supposed to leave. It was perfect. I appreciated it. Why didn't you apply this to the rest of your life? Like being early for work every day?

Well, because I have to get up for that. Yeah. I was already up for the wedding. Fair enough. Okay, fair enough. If we started work at, what time did we catch that bus? 2.30.

Yeah. I could do that for you. Okay, great. Yeah, right. Should we just move the show then? We should move it this time of the day. If we could jiggle the show. Go back to afternoons.

Yeah, much friendlier. Much friendlier. My dad thought the ceremony was 2.30pm, but it was 2, so we obviously couldn't start until dad got there, so there's lots of pre-wedding photos because the photographer was there taking the pictures. Yeah.

We were late because my sister's zip on her dress broke. She was a bridesmaid and my mum had to see her in the dress. Or sew her in the dress. Or sew her in the dress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Sew her dress broke. She was a bridesmaid and my mum had to see her in the dress. Oh, sew her in the dress. Oh, sew her in the dress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Sew her into it. I also saw someone talking about

they hadn't practised their boob taping. You've got to practise. As someone who's had last minute boob issues and then you get worked up and you're getting late and you're getting sweaty and the tape doesn't stick and your boobs are everywhere

and you've got to go. Someone did say the stick on bra wouldn't stick because we were so sweaty. Yes. And then we hid in a room trying to come up with plan B for a backless dress, and it got even sweatier because we were in a small room. I'd go down to the liquor store, stand in the chiller for 10 minutes.

Yes. I'd actually get the titties out in the chiller. You're not going to find a single person that works in a chiller that's offended by breasts. Oh, just get a friend to put the hand up. Also, when you're cold, your breasts are sort of tight up, perky, beautiful. You know where to tuck them up. Yeah, yeah. I cold, your breasts are sort of tight up, perky, beautiful. You know where to tuck them up.

Yeah, yeah. Got married on the family farm, so I got ready in the house as the ceremony and reception were both there as well. Thought there was no way I could possibly be late as I was on site. Nope. Hair half done, outside, changing tables around, giving directions to the flowers.

I've got a real lack of delegation ability. Nearly back on track, time to put on the dress, and my mother decides the lawn just needed a little bit of a touch up. So she started mowing the lawn. You can't mow the lawn on a wedding day. The guests are there. God, I hope they had a catcher. Oh yeah. I don't mow without a catcher.

You should never mow without a catcher. You monsters. I mean, we've given away hundreds of thousands of dollars with the secret sound, but the secret slurp. It's got to be one of the best. I would say a Stanley Cup at the moment is as popular. As $100,000. Couldn't agree more. If you won $100,000 what are you going to spend it on?

Stanley Cups. All of it on Stanley Cups. Yesterday you slurped hundreds and thousands. I slurped so many hundreds and thousands because we had about eight wrong guesses. Today I'm happy to be slurping and I bought a thicker straw. Okay. Now

let's get really close into the mic. I'll turn your mic up full here. So I can, oh, if I whisper, it sounds really good. Does it? It's quite hot. Okay. Okay, ready? I reckon, do you reckon the mic needs to go down to the bottom of the straw?

Bottom or top? Bottom or mouth? Bottom. Okay. So we could do both. We could do both. Okay, this is today's secret slurp. You need to identify correctly. Be could do both. We'll do both. Okay, this is today's secret slurp. You need to identify correctly.

Shut up. 0800. Just be careful, please. 0800 dials at M. The first correct caller wins the Stanley Cup. What is Hayley slurping? I'm going to do a big slurp. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I told you it was going to happen. I told you. Now, at the other end, it was going to be a rocket. Did you hear it came out the other end it was going to be a rocket did you hear it okay do top

do top of the straw my dad and you be careful don't be silly you be careful okay ready ready that's so good

okay secret slurp is your chance to win the hottest item around at the moment, a Stanley Cup. And you've just got to, today, identify what Hayley is slurping up her straw. Yesterday, it was hundreds and thousands. Today, do you want to give us another? Yeah. I'll give it my biggest one yet.

Okay. Wow. A lot. It's a lot. Victoria, good morning. Oh, good morning. How are you? Welcome to Secret Slurp.

Welcome to Secret Slurp. Now, what do you think Hayley is slurping? It sounds kind of like bubble tea, but I could be completely wrong. I'd say close. So close. I would say close. But you are completely wrong. Victoria, thank you.

Amy, good morning. Welcome to Secret Slurp. Good morning. A good slurpy morning to you, Amy. Yeah, lovely. I think it's jelly. I think you're ready for this jelly. Should we have one more listen? Oh I think it's jelly. I think you're ready for this jelly. Should we have one more

listen? Oh, for God's sake, here you go. It is jelly! Yay! We've still got another bowl to go as well. I've got two bowls made of four cups of strawberry jelly.

It's so gross. It's quite nice. It is. It's yum. Jelly is the best. Lime jelly is the best jelly. Yeah, lime or like boysenberry. Blackberry.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Raspberry. Amy, congratulations. The Stanley Cup is all yours. You've won today's second slur. I'll pay the tickets, but I'll take it. I mean, so close. Right up there, like second best thing

that you could win from ZM this week, definitely. Do you want a Taylor Swift ticket? Or do you want a Stanley Cup? No, it's not an option. You get the Stanley Cup. You sound like you're giving her an option there. No, no, no, we'll see you on Thursday. Congratulations, Amy.

Don't forget Taylor Thursday, this Thursday, 6am, your last chance to win those tickets. Speaking of Taylor Swift, it was the Super Bowl yesterday and producer Shannon, who sits next to me now, placed a bet.

Who, by the way, I believe at Howlett College was top of statistics for her year. She was. I mean, this is a great ad for Howlett College. Oh, I know.

Because she said that she was top of statistics with only merits, which means no one got excellence. No one else bothered. Right, okay. Shannon placed a bet. Now, Shannon likes to gamble. This is what we've learned about Shannon.

It's slightly problematic. It's slightly problematic. But yesterday she admitted to us that she'd placed a bet. A $15 bet. When and how did you end up with a TAB account? Oh, probably back in uni. She's a long-term bettor. You know, when everybody's got heaps of discretionary income.

That's right. Sorry, I just burped a bit. It's the jelly. It's repeating on me. I went to the races when I was in uni, and I thought I was betting on horses, but I was accidentally betting on dogs in China at one point and I'm not proud of it.

I reckon keep that to yourself, Han. Dogs in China? Yeah, it was an accident. I didn't mean to. It's alright. Now I only bet on humans or cards. Yeah, great. So yesterday you placed... I think it's when you bet on the cards you're actually betting on the human to win the cards.

So yesterday you placed a $15 bet on the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl. Of course. At the same time, Drake had moved his decimal point ahead a little bit and placed a $1.15 million bet. Yeah, in that realm. Yeah. Now you raised the question earlier, who would have done better out of this bet? Because it was paying $2, right? So you were doubling what you bet.

So you made out with $30 yesterday. I made out with $30. Drake made out with $2.3 million. Now, on the face value, you'd say that Drake has done better, right? You would say Drake has taken away more. But he had more at risk. Yeah, but Drake had more to start with.

Yeah, and relative to his wealth. Yes. And relative to your wealth, who actually made the better return? Yeah, so I've done some statistics. Because she is Howard's golden girl of stats. Can we delve into that a little bit just briefly? Who was anyone else in the class? Yeah, yeah, heaps.

It was a big school. But it was not notoriously like the smartest subject. No, smart people do algebra. Algebra, yeah. I thought they did all the maths. No, because you only get a number of subjects. So they'll be doing English. They'll be doing history.

So when you get to, I think it was year 11 or 12, you pick one. You split. And so I picked statistics. Okay, you did cabbage maths. You did cabbage stats yeah and then I dropped maths after that

I didn't do it in the last year that's so boring well I peaked I reached number one what was I supposed to do number one out of how many people

my score was like I think 1400 1500 I don't know how many were doing stats I think maybe three or four like a hundred people

stop trying to diminish your achievement. I'm not diminishing, that's really good. It's very good. We have a very smart woman on our hands. Even though she never

achieved excellence. No. I did have to use a website called Percentage Calculator to do this break. It's fine, it's fine. It's fine. So I worked out my net worth.

I looked at my KiwiSaver because that's my money, right? Hell yeah, it is. Yeah, that counts. so I started waitressing young and so I have a bit there then I added my car into it because it's the only thing I own and you own that outright you don't owe anything on it yeah well I do owe $700

to a mechanic okay well you've got a minus that's a debt if we're doing a spreadsheet asset car debt car debt no you don't muddle with the numbers. Okay. The $700, we'll just push that to the side.

To be honest, I think your car's worth $700, so we could probably just scratch that entirely. Just make that a neutral. Yeah, that's neutral. Okay. What I've worked out is that I have $18,000 of net worth. Great. Oh, okay.

So I won 0.017% of my net worth. Oh yeah, so the $15 that you won was 0. What is it? 0.017. So almost a percent. No, it's 0.01. 0.1 would be closer to a percent. You were quite far from a percent.

Man, how bad was this statistics class? I told you, I only got merits. But, looking at Drake, his net worth is $250 million. He won 2.3, so he only made 0.09.

So I was only 0.08 off him. We were pissing in the same pool. I gambled as much as Drake and I won as much as Drake. But he still beat you, really. Well, no.

Because you're 0.01% and he's 0.09%. But we were in the same category of number. Because if we were rounding, 0.01% is closer to just zero. And 0.09% is closer to 0.1. But in statistics, we don't round.

Do we not round? We deal with numbers. I drop maths as soon as I could, like a hot potato. Yeah, so basically, I'm a big winner. No, basically, you still lost. I don't know if you can say that. When you got your TAB account, you said you were at university. Yes.

Some people come out of university with a debt called a student loan. Oh, yeah. I've got one of those. What was your net worth? $19,000. $18,000. How much is your student loan? I think I've got $35,000 to go.

Oh, you've got negative. Oh, sweaty hon, you're negative. No, but that's even better. That means percentage-wise you won more than Drake. Okay, now do that calculation. No one knows how. No one here knows how. She's negative rich.

That's algebra class stuff. But I think that means I'm a big, big winner. Compared to Drake, you won a bigger percentage of your net worth. Which is in the negatives. But that means I'm in the positives now because I won $30. No, no, no, no. You're still thousands and thousands of dollars away from it. $15 didn't pull you out of negative equity, negative debt.

I did get Uber Eats with it, so it felt good. So you've spent it already. So he's gone. I said, that's gone. Because I reckon Drake's probably going to invest his or something. Well, I invested it in my hunger. Yeah. I was hungry.

Well, he got Uber Eats, but not the same percentage to his net worth. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd have to pretty much buy Uber Eats itself, I think, to spend that amount of money on Uber Eats. Look, numbers aside, you placed a bet. And you won. Got a return, and you won.

That felt good. Good for you. Don't think about the net worth. What is money? Yeah, it doesn't exist. Uber Eats exists, and Taylor Swift. I'm the big one. You is money? Yeah, it doesn't exist. Uber Eats exists and Taylor Swift. I'm the big one. You can't do that.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, you know, my TikTok career was short-lived. I said I was going to be really big on TikTok last year

and I made two of them, I think. Maybe three, 2.5. And then I just forgot and it's hard. The editing bit's hard. It's just easier to watch them, eh?

Yeah, and I watch them via Instagram. Do you know what I mean? On Reels. On my Reels. Like a week after they've already been field tested on TikTok. That's right, yeah. Only the best TikToks get to Instagram Reels. Yeah, I know.

They're multi-platformial, aren't they? Yeah. Well, here's a TikTok trend that I really love. I saw this and I was like, oh God, that'd be horrible. The trend is cool. It's sort of, it's supposed to make you feel awful. Yeah, okay. The trend is what would happen

if your card declined at therapy? So you have your therapy session, you go to pay and your card's like declined. Your card declines. And I read this being like, oh, I can't imagine they'll bloody invoice you and send it to your thing and then you'd have by the 20th of the month to pay it.

Well, like the doctor, right? Like the doctor. But no, it's not literal. It's like, oh, I imagine they'll bloody invoice you and send it to your thing and then you'd have by the 20th of the month to pay it. Well, like the doctor, right? Like the doctor. But no, it's not literal. It's like, I'll give you some examples. Okay. When your car declines at therapy, so they bring out all the male teachers you viewed as a father figure growing up. Okay.

When your car declines at therapy, so they bring out your life before the pandemic with all the expectations of the life you thought you'd lead. Okay, that's pretty grim. When your car declines at therapy so they bring in your mother as a little girl to tell you all about her future dreams, bracket, you can't save her. It's so twisted.

When your car declines at therapy so they bring out that one person you hurt because you were going through a bad phase and you never got the opportunity to apologize to them. So it's basically like you can't pay with money, so you have to pay with like trauma. Soul coins. Trauma. Slices of your soul.

Your card declines at therapy, so they bring in the girl who never broke up with you, just introduced you to her new boyfriend at a party once, and we just never talked about it. Wow. When your car declines at therapy so the therapist just starts throwing up in front of you. I love these. When your car declines at therapy so they force you to think about the times your little sister would ask to play with you and you were a moody teenager so you said no. That's sad.

When your car declines at therapy, so they bring God in, proving not only is he real, but also you're going to hell for trying to deconstruct religion. I don't know what mine would be. I don't know what my version of that would be. I don't have a lot of trauma.

I'm mentally really sound. Yes. I didn't laugh. I wasn't laughing. I don't have trauma. I don't laugh. I wasn't laughing. I don't have trauma. I don't know why my brain's gone loo-lally. Anyway, if you want to get on this,

it's like literally there's just like endless ones of them and it will make you cringe. What is that? When your car declines at therapy, so they remind you that your uncontrollable rage is in your blood, you'll always be your father's daughter. Oh my God. Jeez.

Okay. Wow, some of these are dark. I can see why these people are going to therapy. Yeah. They have a lot to work through, don't they? When your car declines in therapy, so they bring in you and you just have to stare at yourself. There's a lot.

There's a lot to unpack here. Play Zed-N's Fletch for the nightly. Play Zed-N. It's the return of the impossible phone and topic I think it's my favourite segment Oh me too Because we get the most outrageous calls I know, yet to be proved impossible And now this one, because it feels to me very American

And I was reading an article about a woman Who started writing letters to a prisoner. And he was a murderer. But she didn't know this guy other than seeing him on the news. Nah, and I feel like that's quite a common thing. I think, do they run programs? That's where they put you in touch with people behind bars? Yes, a pen pal program.

To mitigate loneliness. I'd say so, yeah. Right. Well, I don't know how they met, but they were like emailing, not emailing, writing letters and stuff. Like they were pen pals while he's behind bars. He gets released, they get married. And they've got this like family and this like future and whatnot.

And I was like, that's why. I mean, we love a bad boy. Don't get me wrong. I love the bad boy trope. But a murderer bad boy. Yeah, I don't actually want to marry a murderer. Yeah, and every time he's hungry, he's like, I could murder a cheeseburger. And you're like, murder what?

No need, I'll make you one. You talked about, though, what is it, the bristle effect? Yeah, the bristle effect. Yeah, he touches you. You're like, are you all right? Anyway. But you know all those Netflix shows about mass murderers? I'm a little bit obsessed with them.

Who was that one that Zac Efron played? Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy. He was getting like... Jeffrey Dahmer. All of those high profile ones. It's people with some serious issues. But they were getting like...

Get obsessed with them and they get love letters. Hundreds of love letters. But sometimes they're not always romantic. I listened to a podcast. What's that? The anonymous phone calls with beautiful strangers or whatever it is. And it was a guy

who ended up being a pen pal with like a really notorious serial killer. Yeah. And same thing. It was more that he was a bit like gothy

and it was a morbid fascination with that kind of world. And then he ended up being like this friend. And then the guy was executed and he was like, you know, it was hard because I felt like I'd lost a friend I was like is this serial anyway this is my impossible phoner have you had a prison pen pal I don't know if that even happens and I and I'm looking

probably more for like you didn't know that you know it's not like a member of your family and you're writing them letters. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that doesn't count. Or you knew them. No, you're just in touch with your family. But somehow you found your way into sort of a written relationship with someone behind bars. Because, I mean, I guess if there is a program that puts you in touch,

people would do that because they'd feel bad for people in that situation maybe. But like what kind of stuff do you talk about? Did you fall in love? Is it flirtatious or were you just like, mate, get on. I don't know. Now that you say it, I don't know if people will admit to doing that. Totally anonymous. Because it's quite, like to admit that is quite something, isn't it?

It is something. Especially if you were like married and then you're writing to some dude behind bars. Anyway, can be totally anonymous. It can be. You could know of someone that's done this as well. You can share someone else's story. I'm just curious to know if this happens in New Zealand. I mean, you hear about the odd prison guard

hooking up with someone in prison, don't you? That happens every... Hot. No, naughty. Naughty. No. Hot. No, naughty. Naughty. No. No. No.

No. 0800 dials at Amazon number. It's the impossible phone and topic. You can text her as well. 9696. We've heard from someone who works in corrections. Now, they are saying this happens. I want to hear from you.

Have you had a prison pen pal? The impossible phone and topic You need to warn a woman when you put the mics up I was just saying curse words at some of these messages Wow we are getting some juicy Juicy Juicy messages Just as well we said it should be anonymous

I mean wow So what we want to know today for the impossible phone-in topic. Yeah. If you've had a prison pen pal before, had a little back-and-forth writing relationship with someone behind bars. Because it happens and people fall in love. And I wanted to know if that's happening here in New Zealand. Anonymous.

This was an ex-colleague of yours. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So what, they were writing to somebody in prison? Yeah. It was a client. Okay. Okay.

So I feel like this is crossing some ethics lines. Yeah, okay. Let's dance around the job. And so what happened? They were writing and how long did it last? I think it went on for a couple of months before it was discovered. It was discovered. It was discovered.

Okay. Okay. You obviously work in this area. Have you ever felt a romantic inclination towards any prisoners? Definitely not. What do you think it is? The occasional good-looking one. Yeah, yeah.

I know, I know. But it's the bad boy, eh? They're in there for a reason. It's when the good-looking one comes along, you're like, I can change him, you know? I'll be the one to fix him. I'll be the one to fix him. And so did they form a romantic relationship?

Yeah, they're married. What? What? How bad was the crime on a scale of like shoplifting to murder? About a nine. Oh! Okay, wow.

Wow. Okay, so we're at a nine. We're at a nine. That's okay, wow. Okay, and so they were riding to each other. God, we are dancing here in anonymous. How long were they together while he was still behind bars?

I think it was a couple of years from memory. Like two or three maybe. And then when he gets out, moves straight in with her or? Yeah. Wow. And they're married now. The first time living together is also your bail address. Well, I mean, if it's not going to work after that.

Yeah. It's not going to work, is it? So, and then they'll be married for a while. It's worked? Yeah. Well, I guess so. I haven't heard that they've split up or anything. Wow.

That is a wild story. My love has no boundaries. Thank you. Good dancing, Anonymous. Yeah, good dancing around that. I appreciate that. Sam joins us. Sam, you wrote to an American prisoner.

Yeah. So I would have been about 20 at the time. 20? Yeah. That's quite young. The father in the studio just absolutely shuddered. Yeah. How did you get in touch with an American prisoner?

So there's a website that you can actually go on and it gives you it gives you like a photo of them and kind of their age their a little bit about them.

It's more people that are in there that don't have anybody. Right. Did you when you see their pictures and profiles did you choose the hot one?

I honestly can't remember. Knowing me, I'm guessing so. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, my God. Absolutely. Do you have daddy issues? Because I've got quite good relationships with my daughters at the moment. Doesn't every woman have daddy issues?

Let's be honest. No, I'm all good. Yeah, so I ended up talking to him for about nine months or something, but I ended up getting a job overseas. So when my address changed, I didn't end up getting any more correspondence from him. Oh, I see. But he did end up giving

my address to his cellmate because his cellmate was lonely too and he wanted a pen pal and I think that's the reason I stopped responding at that point. Right. Because I was like, okay, this is getting a bit much, like my information's getting handed around to an American prison.

Do they get your physical address or do they just get like a code they have to put on an envelope and then the prison puts the address on it so they never find out physically where you live? No, I think because you're writing to somebody in another country and you know they're not going

to end up in your country, I think they do give it to the prisoners to write it. I'm not sure. I mean, the handwriting on the envelope and in the letters looked the same. That's horrible. I've still got the letters tucked away. Yeah, you do. I'd keep them.

Were they romantic or were they just literally like... Oh, God, no. Oh, okay. I did not want to be one of those serial killer fangirls. Okay. So what kind of stuff did you chat about in these letters? I think he was quite young too. So it was like he would tell me about his family and what he wanted

to do if he got out. Just wanted chats? Yeah, pretty much. I think he liked to draw so he'd usually include little drawings all over the letters and all that sort of stuff. It was honestly the most. Wow. Do you know why he was in prison? No. So I think one of the rules is that you're not allowed to ask them,

but if they offered it, you are allowed to know. But I never really pushed for it because I didn't want to know. Of course not. Why would you want to? Why would you want to? Why would you know? Okay. Well, Sam, that's. Yeah, I think it's just the thrill of writing. Yeah, incredible. Thank you

for sharing that. Yeah, amazing. Some messages in. Where do we even start? I've got tingles. This is so wild. People are texting in and they're like, I don't want to talk, but here's a bit of information. So I've just been doing a little bit of a Google and it's all like, all go. My friend matched with a guy on Tinder and spoke to him for about a month before he admitted he was in a detention centre, that he could not leave. Are they allowed a phone in the detention centre? No, I mean, there's phones.

There's phones around. How do they get that in? They're so wide, iPhones. The Anus, I think. You take a deep breath. And exhale. Pen pal for around one and a half years, and now we're engaged with a baby.

I'm a lawyer, brackets, did not meet him through work. Okay. And he's a well-known ex-criminal? He's a well-known ex-criminal. So fair to say we get all sorts of comments. I bet. Love is love is love, though. known ex-criminal? He's a well-known ex-criminal. So fair to say we get all sorts of comments. I bet. Love is love is love, though.

You know, love is love. Love is love. I have a mate in prison and we write to each other all the time. Oh, you do? That's different interviews than maybe before you went to prison. You only know each other. Somebody said, my dad's in prison and has given other prisoners my sister's address and she keeps getting mail from them. No thanks.

Thanks, Dad. No thanks, Dad. No, Dad. No. He's like pimping her out to be a pen pal. He's a pen pal pimp. No, little father. Prisoner Correspondence Network organises pen pals, which I do that. It's not fluid at all, just provides company and social connection.

Right. I follow someone on Instagram who's openly shared she has a prison pen pal and what she has a prison pen pal. And what she has shared is actually via text. So that's not a pen pal. That's a text pal, isn't it? That's just how they're getting a phone in there. Phones in prison.

You let phones in any part of the New Zealand prison system? I write Christmas cards to prisoners every year. I've had some really pleasant letters back, and I couldn't recommend it in more terms of a small action you can take that will truly make a difference at Christmas time. That's nice. It just depends on

what they did though. Yeah, that's the thing you don't know though. Did you evade some tax? Merry Christmas. Did you murder an innocent person? Not a Merry Christmas.

I hope your Christmas is rougher. Yeah, you have a terrible Christmas. Santa doesn't find you in prison. I used to work for a business whose PO box number was very similar to Mount Eden Prison and we'd often get handwritten letters to prisoners and we would open them and read them. Yep.

And welcome to the staff meeting. We do have some stuff to get to, but I know you guys love prisoner mail. So here's a juicy one. Hello. What a way to get attendance at staff meetings. Oh, you'd be there. Yeah, totally. You'd be there. One of our staff meetings. You're like, I'm late, I'm late. I meetings. Oh, you'd be there. Yeah, totally. You'd be there.

Our staff meetings. You're like, I'm late, I'm late. I'll zoom in, I'll zoom in. Yeah. You are scratching the surface of the messages we have received. I know, because some of them I feel like... Too close could be... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really? There's been a couple of people messaging about some very high-profile New Zealand criminals. Yeah. That's juicy. That's juicy. That is juicy. Play. ZDM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Today's Fact of the Day is Super Bowl week here at Fact of the Day. And this is about the origins of the Super Bowl halftime show. Yes. As it is the grand spectacle that it is now. They've always had something happening during halftime, mostly just for people who are in the stadium. The TV would cut away to a whole bunch of like stats and colour commentary and people's opinions and then the ads and stuff.

Because I've done a lot of halftime shows. I've done a lot of the All Blacks halftime shows with marching. Yes. Sevens halftimes. We've done that a lot. They don't televise. They don't televise it. They kind of will have it in the background or they might say,

oh, yeah, the so-and-so, so-and-so is doing the halftime show today. And then mostly it's just interviews. I like at halftime when they do a t-shirt cannon or they do a fun game where people have to catch a ball. For basketball. Basketball does it, eh? Or like get this in the hoop and you win a million dollars. Yeah, that's the good stuff.

Well, in 1992, the Super Bowl halftime show was Gloria Estefan. Brian Boitano, who you will probably only know from South Park fame, he was an ice skater. He was an Olympic ice skater. No, I still don't know.

In the South Park movie, there was What Would Brian Boitano Do? That whole song. Yeah, it rings a bell. South Park made a deal out of him. He was a Canadian ice skater. Right.

So they had like a snow- production, Gloria Estefan's song and some ice skating and at the same time on a different channel, a live Super Bowl version of In Living Colour, which was a live sketch show. It was sort of like a more African American dominated version of Saturday Night Live with Jim Carrey. They did a live show and it cost the network, there was CBS, it was broadcasting the Super Bowl, 10 points of the percentage.

So 10% of people left and didn't come back for the second half until Andrew McCullough was finished. And they were like, we really need to step up the game. So the next year in 1993 was the start of the mega halftime show and they kicked off with Michael Jackson. Oh, wow. Oh my God. I know that whole performance. Yeah.

93. He's up on the top of a screen, but it's not really him. Yeah. It's someone dressed like him. And then he goes, and then he disappears and he pops up in the middle of the stage. And that kind of set the bar going forward. Yeah. He stood someone dressed like him. And then he goes, boom, and then he disappears and he pops up in the middle of the stage.

And that kind of set the bar going forward for it. He stood there at the start when he popped up in the middle of the stage and people just basically screamed for a minute and a half before he started his performance. He's in like classic black and white era, white shirt, black pants, white socks, black shoes. The dangerous, the black jacket, the big aviator sunglasses. And he does a performance which ended with three and a half thousand local children

singing with Michael Jackson. Heal the world. I know. Okay, wow. Make it a better place. Was he paid for that? Because they never get paid, eh? No.

So they don't get paid. Yeah. Apple Music pays $50 million every year to sponsor the Halftime Show, as it currently stands. Yeah. Apple Music pays $50 million every year to sponsor the halftime show as it currently stands. Right. And they don't get paid but they see a massive boost. After 2020, Shakita's Spotify streams went up

230%. Yeah. Jennifer Lopez went up by 335%. So they make money in other ways. Right. They get $2 from Spotify. They get $2 more. They get $2 more from Spotify. other ways. Right. And it's just like credit. They get $2 from Spotify. They get $2 more. They get $2 more from Spotify. That's so nice.

Yeah. That's so great. Yeah, that's exactly how they do it. Wow. Okay, and then ever since, it's been a big thing. So after Michael Jackson, there was one with a young, there was Stevie Wonder who did tap dancing. Okay.

I didn't know Stevie tapped. Well, no, he learnt tap dancing. Now, how does a blind person learn tap dancing? Purely by sound. Purely by how it sounds, which is apparently a hell of a task. A hell of a task. Also, a young Elijah Wood took part in the next. What did he do?

There's been some dud years. There's been some dud years. There has been a few dud years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there was one. Diana Ross arrived by helicopter and then, no, left by helicopter. She started on this massive tower, sung her song, and then just got airlifted out on a helicopter.

Yeah. Totally avoided traffic. Because Paul McCartney did it and everyone was like, oh, it's not quite the vibe. Like, Paul McCartney is a mega, mega superstar, but, like, it's not Lady Gaga. That is, hold on, the article I was reading had a name for it. The Over the Hill Rockers era.

Yes. Of the halftime show where you had Paul McCartney, then the Rolling Stones the next year, then Prince the next year, then Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, then Bruce Springsteen. Okay, no, but the Prince one was actually amazing. And then The Who.

So they had all these like old guys. There was one I wanted to talk about the halftime show where someone died. Really? Someone died in the halftime show. They were supposed to. Like a backup dancer. It was the Blues Brothers year.

Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman, James Belushi and James Brown and ZZ Top. Right. Something for everybody there in the year 1997. And there was, it was dedicated to a woman called Laura Patterson, who three days during practice for the halftime show bungee jumped off the roof of the Superdome and her equipment failed and she

just fell to the ground and she died so they dedicated it to her. They didn't tie it on or something? Yeah, it was just equipment malfunction. Gosh. It's been so horrendous. Or she did that thing when you go get a bungee they're like, how much do you weigh? And you're like 70. What do you want to say 70? Do you're like, 70. 70. 70. What, everyone says 70.

Sure. Do you want to jump on the scales? No. No, I literally just, I literally weighed myself this morning. 70. 70. Oh, fine, 72-ish. Fine, you got me, caught me.

Oh, wait. Do I keep my boots on? 74. Are my boots on? Man, man, oh, no, these boots, oh, no, these boots, these are heavy boots. Yeah, 84. Yeah. And. Yeah.

And then the rope is definitely not set up for your 90 kgs. Are you going to dip me in the water? Because whenever I get wet, I seem to hold a lot of water. I'm like a sponge. Probably. We'll say 94. 94. I've probably got 24 kgs of clothes and stuff on.

Give a bit of a safety, but let's put 94. Okay, let's put 100. Write 94, but know that 24 kgs of it's clients. Actually, I don't want to hit the water, so you better make it less. Sure, I think that's how it works. So I don't hit the water. That'd be really great. So today's fact of the day in Super Bowl week is that the halftime show became the spectacle it was

because people were just tuning out of halftime show to watch sketch comedy. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM So here's something I've always wondered about Teslas Because they can drive themselves Yes But do you have to turn it on? Yeah it's got to be on You have to turn on autopilot Yeah I believe so I've never driven one, I'd love to have a fang in one

They look fun I've been in one Tesla Ubers in America I've been in the Lamborghini door, Tesla Uber. And he put a system of a down on really loud and said, do you want to see how fast I can get to 50 kilometres an hour? I bet he does that for everyone. And we said, yes, please.

That's not that hot. And it went, huh? And then we were there. Yeah, yeah. And you're there. But so, because I was wondering this the other day, because there's this car park building Right by my pool

That I always walk past And there's always cars just coming out It's not your pool No it's not my It's a shared public pool The public pool What did I make it sound like I had a pool You just said like right near my pool

Not your pool No he owns the pool But he lets other people use it for a fee To pay off the debt that he has I don't know he owns the pool No the council own the pool. I just wanted to humble you. You don't have your own pool.

Vaughn's got a pool. You don't have a pool. I was leaving the public swimming pool where I saw a plaster on the floor. Yeah, exactly. Probably a turd floating in the shower. No, no. Spell it like it is.

And there's this car park building and the cars always pull out and I'm always like, look, they're not going to run me over. Yeah, so you just walk in front. And I, I realized when a Tesla, famous last words,

they really are. I realized when a Tesla pulled out that when I cross like pedestrian crossings or walk in front of cars, especially Teslas in my mind, I'm like, they've got this thing built in where if they see a human, they automatically put the brakes on. Right.

Yeah. But then I'm like, do they? Cause I always J, right? Yes, yeah. But then I'm like, do they? Because I always jaywalk in front of Teslas assuming that even if the human doesn't see me, the car will and it will just stop. And so that's why I jaywalk in front of them. Because you want them to jam on their own brakes

and give the driver a fright. Because I went, you may remember, I had a bit of a flirtatious relationship with Audi for a while and they gave me an Audi and they had one of the guys you've fallen from grace haven't you

it dried right up I'm back in the Mazda I'm miserable about it no further communications they got what they wanted they got what they wanted they used me they used you

they took my car away I'm not even going to keep talking about it I mean it was win win wasn't it you got a car it's not win win I don't have the car

I'm back in the Mazda and it's worse than ever. It's the worst day than ever. I love a time for Lamborghini to swoop in and make their play for you. We were just talking before about how much fun a Lamborghini would be. What car we would have and I said, I'll bring a Lamborghini. I think the way you've carried on, you'll be lucky to get a second-hand Skoda. I think you're right. But that had really sensitive cameras.

Anytime, if you were kind of creep... You know, sometimes you creep out. You're like, I know there's a car coming but I'm alright I'm creeping it would just be like boom it would just jam the brakes okay so it would

and it would or like someone walked in front of it it would scare the bejesus out of you okay so what you're saying is I can well I'm saying

it happened with Audi and that's the last one dropping their name because I drive a Mazda now right well you should just say it happened with that former European car I drove

that luxury vehicle yeah that I was allowed to have for four months yeah but I imagine Tesla's do it Right. Well, you should just say it happened with that former European car I drove. That luxury vehicle. Yeah. That I was allowed to have for four months. Yeah. But I imagine Teslas do it. Is anyone texting in with a Tesla? Someone just said, have you guys seen the video of a Tesla driving through a cemetery? It feels disrespectful. No, but the video of the Tesla with the wing doors getting taken out by the London double-decker buses. One of my top 10 YouTube videos of all time.

So the wing doors go up and the bus just canes it. I haven't seen that. Man driving Tesla through a cemetery at night is shocked to see ghosts come up on the screen. People are flooding to social media in horror after a Tesla driver revealed what happened when he drove through a cemetery. Now, this has been reported by reputable news source Unilad. Okay, right. Yeah. We trust them, don't we?

This feels like this. Yeah, this is nonsense. This is the story of the guy driving a Tesla with the new Apple Vision, which was completely fake. Oh, I know. That was fake. Completely fake. So, yeah, I wonder if you were to walk right in front of it.

I mean, don't dive in front of them in case. No, I'm going to dive. I don't like walk in front of a car that's just in the middle of the road. I'm just saying if there's an area where there's a little giveaway, you know, grey area, I'll just gun it if I see a Tesla because I'm like, well, it'll stop. Famous last words. Don't play fast and loose.

We mentioned earlier in the show that Vaughn and I are allowed to die. You're not because you'll be able to learn the buttons. I can't learn the buttons. I have no interest in learning the buttons. The entire tower that is radio. You are the Poe in the centre of our mud eye. And I mean that with all my heart. That's really nice things we've just said about you.

Thank you. Very nice. I don't know. No, no. You don't need it? No. I sort of think it was a good opportunity. It's all good.

Don't worry about it. You don't want a nice compliment? No, I don't need it. I'm a strong woman and I don't need it? No. I sort of think it was a good opportunity. It's all good. Don't worry about it. You don't want a nice compliment? No, I don't need it. I'm a strong woman and I don't need to be told by some man that I'm an excellent contribution to the show and that you value my input. What's next on the show? X, isn't it?

Yeah, it is. I've got the top 10 bedroom X from Bumble. For Valentine's Day, Bumble, the dating app, which is the female-driven dating app. They got a message first? They got a message for Easter. But apparently, I think it was producer Jared was telling us that the girls are being lazy, and they'll just message, like,

smiley face, and then the boys to message back. You know what I mean? Be creative. You've got control. Take it. Take the wheel. You wanted it. Have it. Well, I mean? Be creative. You've got control. Take it. Take the wheel. You wanted it. Have it.

But I'm lost without you. So they have released, they did some nationwide research in New Zealand, the top 10 bedroom tics and the top 10 bedroom ex. So it's the habits we find attractive and unattractive when going back to a date's bedroom. Okay. Now, I always talk about when I went home with Aaron on our first date. I beg your pardon.

No, no, no. You must have. I said I would have, but I did. You must have been mistaken. I said I would have, but I did. You said you went home with him on the first date. Yeah, I did. I said I wasn't going to, and so I just shaved my legs.

Wait, you're a good Christian girl. I thought you were waiting till marriage. Yeah, we didn't do anything there. We just talked. Okay, and you still haven't to this day. I wouldn't have invited him into the home. Oh my God, no. It wasn't even tempting

because my love for Jesus is so strong. Of course, there it is. Amen. So I was fine. I was resolute. Okay. Okay, the top 10 bedroom tick list. Anyway, what I was going to say

is that Aaron's bedroom was like super clean and really tidy. Oh, okay. Had red wine and it was like... Did he know that you were coming back? Red wine. Or was it a surprise? He just holds, 13 years later,

still holding onto the idea that he was like, I didn't assume you were coming home. I was like, why was the bed made? Why was it vacuumed? Why was there mood lighting? And why was there two bottles of Pinot Noir? Oh, okay. He knew.

Will you tell me? Yeah. I'll just run through the tick list because the ick list is, I think, more important to know. So when we come home oh my god they've given me the top nine because there's eight equal

so there's ten but there's an eighth equal okay well ninth it's like when there's a shared award like a shared winner no pick one so ninth of the tick list is artwork we love artwork. Eighth equal is music playing and linen bedding.

I've got all linen bedding. Music playing? You walk in and it's like... It's too presumptuous. You know the first thing I would think is I don't want to be with someone that's going to run the power bill up if they're leaving music on. Yeah, we've been on a date for four hours. Yeah, we've been out for four hours and you've just been running music. Oh, so the music

has to be going on arrival. They can't just walk in and be like, Alexa, play some sexy slow jazz. No, it was pre-running. Well, it's like when you come into the room, what do you want to see?

And it says music playing. Okay. So I'm going to assume it's been playing all day. Back to number nine. What if their artwork says like, live, love, laugh?

Yeah, or it's like a cat hanging in there. I don't know. It just says artwork. Eighth equal was music and linen bedding. Seventh was folded laundry. I don't like that. Put it away. Yeah, it's like a cat hanging in there. I don't know. It just says artwork. Eighth equal was music and linen bedding. Seventh was folded laundry. I don't like that. Put it away.

Yeah, yeah. Well, if you folded it, you've done the hard part. Just put it away now. Sixth is having a fan or air conditioning. We've all got that. That's fantastic. Number five, soft lighting. Absolutely.

These are the top ten bedroom tics from Bubble. Four, stylish bedding. Yeah, okay. Spongebob duvet. Three, a maid. Well, we all know that I slept with a guy with a Superman mink. Blanket. Blanket. Of course you did.

Of course I did. We all did. He's Superman for crying out loud. That was his cape. That wasn't us. And you know what? He was a Superman. Okay.

Number three, having a maid bed. We like it. Okay. Number two, the smell of fresh sheets. Okay. They don't have to be fresh. Oh, okay. We just don't want to spritz them.

Now, I'll give them a full breeze before you pop out. Yeah, and number one is just a tidy room in general. Those are the tics. Those are what people love. Top ten bedroom tics. Now, here's the top ten bedroom ick list, things that we find unattractive when we enter a date's room. Number nine, thank you.

You've given me top ten and there's nine ain't cool. Is empty cups nearby, kids bedding, I would say that's a Superman mink, and an unmade bed. That's all equal for ninth. Okay. I'm going to picture the room that has all nine of these. Yeah, yeah, okay.

Paint the picture. And even if the person is a 10, okay, here's the deal. Picture right now, in your mind, you're 10. Yeah. A person that's like a 10 for you. I'll be picturing my wife. I'm still going to do it. Because she might be listening.

I'll be picturing Jason Momoa. And dare I not pick her for my 10. Yeah. Okay, so pick your 10 in your mind. Now, at the end of these nine, I want to see if you'd still sleep with them. Imagine if I go over to Jason Momoa's house and he's got like a mink Aquaman. Oh, like the promo one. Promo blanket but it's

not even made. He's like, oh, that's me. Okay, next to Sade and Jason's bed, it's a single bed. That's number eight is the bedroom ick. Single bed. Number seven is no bed frame or a mattress on the floor. Okay, so now we've got a single bed

on the floor, empty cups, kid bed and it's not made. And an Aquaman mink. Okay, so now we've got a single bed on the floor, empty cups, kid bed and it's not made. And an Aquaman mink. Okay, so you've described my living when I first left home for like three years. Number six, lube on the bedside table. Well, where else are you going to put it? In the drawer. No, no, no, you want it there, just, you don't want to be fumbling around

for a little bit. Yeah, I'm going to set up this masturbation station and put it out of the way. Oh my God, hide your masturbation station, please. We've got a friend that up this masturbation station. Oh, my God. Hide your masturbation station, please. We've got a friend that has a masturbatory station. I've visited it. I've used it before. Not for its purpose. And it's right by the hallway. All the flatmates will pass and see the station.

He's going to be so upset with you. I know. Well, James. Big heart. Stop it, Big Heart of James. Number five. Number five, mirror on the ceiling. Have you ever put a mirror on the ceiling, but you've gone to the airport to put a mirror on the ceiling,

but you haven't got your single bed in a frame, this is some stuff, my dude. I don't trust a mirror falling down from the ceiling. Oh, absolutely. That's what I got on there, those 3M bloody sticky. I don't trust them with a mirror. It's like when you go to the dentist, there's a TV screen on the roof. You're like, that's not putting me at ease.

No, I've had a professional put that in store. Have they? Okay, four, piles of dirty laundry near the bed or on the bed. Number three, remnants of food or drink by the bed. Aquaman's been having some protein shakes. These are the biggest X for people, according to a Bumble survey in New Zealand. Here's your top two, yellow pillow.

Okay, wait, wait, wait. Yellow under the pillowcase? Yeah, are we hiding our secret shame under the case? It's always yellow under the pillowcase. yeah yeah Are we hiding our secret Shame out of the case It's always yellow Under the pillow case No use a protector Then a case Yeah but the pillow

Protector's yellow The pillow's in Then just get a new pillow Just says yellow pillow I reckon it's no case Yellow pillow without a case Is what I'm picturing Yeah yeah okay

And it's like sagged And clumped And number one is Stains on the bedding That's your top That's your top I'm still doing it if there are ten. Oh, come all this way.

My hangover all the way around. Ten's a ten. Am I right? Shivers, guys. Ten out of ten podcast. That one? Yeah. I think two of us were ten out of ten and one of us wasn't.

Well, who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there. Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. No, don't. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's F, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah.

Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.