ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 13th November 2023

Episode Date: November 12, 2023

Alexa doesn't know CPR  Top 6: Babies  Silly Little Poll!  AI Reviews  Gross things you spotted at a Restaurant  The Impossible Phoner!Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshporn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Hello, good morning, welcome to the show Fleshporn and Hayley. We just gotta get Christmas out of the way. We just gotta get through Christmas and then we'll be able to take a breath. It's a big week, it's a big week. Friday's live on Thursday.

Paramore on Saturday. Floors are getting sanded this week, so I can't even live at my house. Where are you living? With some friends. Oh, right. Okay. But their house is maybe more of a house

than you've been living in for the majority of the year. Yeah, what they did is they moved into a house that was ready for them. Right. Not moved in, then made the house ready for them. So they've been living there this whole time just in a lovely house. Fascinating. Yeah. Fascinating. Okay made the house ready for them. Yeah, so they've been living there this whole time, just in a lovely house. Fascinating. Interesting way of doing it. Yeah.

Actually, just sort of jumping on in. Must be nice. It must be. Yet is a big week. Just going to get through Christmas, you know. Yeah. Well, not long, not long. Not long. Are we five weeks away from Christmas?

Yeah, I don't care. Jesus. I don't care. Why don't you care? No, we've got five weeks left of work. You like presents. I'm going to count the weeks. What's today?

The 13th. We've got five weeks. Happy wedding anniversary to me. Oh, bon anniversary. 13th wedding anniversary on the 13th. Ooh. Yeah, we're going to probably get a new divorce. That's a double up of 13s.

Okay, one week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, five weeks. It's exactly six weeks today? Six weeks till Christmas. Exactly, because Christmas is a Monday. Yeah. Christmas is

a Monday. It's a Monday. Tom Six on the way. Gordon Ramsay's had another baby. Another baby. What does he want? One of those fell. I thought when he put the photo up, he was welcoming a grandchild.

Because his oldest kids are like approaching the age of baby having. But it's his. It's Six. Sixth Gordon Ramsay baby. Goodness me. So I've got the top six rankings if you have six children. This is also as the sixth is fresh.

Like while the sixth is a brand new baby, how I would rank my six children if I had six children at the birth of the sixth. I mean, being the oldest, I'm obviously the favorite. Nope. So you'd wonder if that will be not according to my list. No, I think you fade. I think your charm wears off. Oh, really?

Yeah. It's always the youngest that's the favourite, right? Yeah, absolutely. Because they're the funnest, freshest. Never the middle child, Vaughan Smith. Nope. No. Never.

I'm the youngest. And I'm just still fresh. They're just still delighted by me. Still fresh. Here is my brother. They're like, old news, Sam. Yeah. Old news.

The top six coming up next on the show. Alexa does not know CPR. I don't know how Alexa, a small speaker, semi-sentient AI, would be expected to know CPR. She should know everything. Well, she just Googles and then tells you. Well, it's annoying when you ask Alexa what you believe to be a basic question, and it's like, here's what I found on the web. When you ask, and that's the response,

there should be a little notification sent to Amazon to say, hey, someone just asked this, we should add it to the answers. Yeah, true. We should add, this is how we should answer this question. But why that question was even asked, we'll talk about next. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Why that question was even asked, we'll talk about next. You should not be asking Alexa for CPR instructions. I sort of, I can kind of imagine why you would do it, right?

If someone in your household like fell over and you weren't sure, you'd be like, oh my God, Alexa's like AI. Yeah. Surely she'd be able to help me. What do you ask? Hey, Alexa. Hey, Alexa's like AI. Yeah. Surely should be able to help me. What do you ask? Hey, Alexa. Hey, Alexa, how do you perform CPR? I'm sorry.

I don't quite understand you. Yeah, they laughed. My husband's dying. I'm sorry about that. That's sad. So they tested eight different questions about CPR on Alexa, Asiri, Google Assistant, or Cortana, which is the Microsoft version.

How embarrassing. Cortana. Pardon me? Sorry? What? How embarrassing. For Cortana? Yeah.

Why is that? Well, just no one knows who that is. Like you say Siri or Alexa. I had to introduce it. Everyone knows. Yeah. The answers were then assessed by emergency medicine doctors. Yeah.

And they said that there was severe inconsistencies between the different ones and you shouldn't ask that. This is just something you should know. You should do a little course. It's better than in the spur of the moment, in the heat of the moment, when you don't know, it's better than nothing. Imagine being like, Alexa, how do I do CPR?

And then it starts playing you Credence Clearwater Revival because it confused CPR for CCR. Someone tell me long. You're like, no, no, he's on the floor. He's dying. That's also too slow. Someone told me long ago. You're never going to resuscitate.

What is the song Staying Alive? Staying Alive. No, it changed. Or even faster, eh? Yeah, it used to be. Staying aliveive. No, it changed. Or even faster, eh? Yeah, it used to be... Staying Alive. Staying Alive. And then they changed it.

What's the CPR song now? Because I think they needed to be a little bit quicker. It's Post Malone now, isn't it? No, Post Malone wouldn't have anything quick enough. Oh, it's still saying CPR song. Sandstorm? Baby, shuck-do-do-do-do-do. Baby, shuck-do-do-do-do-do-do.

That's good. That's a good pace. Yeah. Oh, there's a few. Sweet home Alabama Oh, that slowed down a bit. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Right, but any kind of fast beat.

Yeah, consistent beat. Producer Cowan, you did a course. You did the CPR course here at work. Was there a song? No song. Oh, my God. There's a list. There's like a playlist.

All Star. Hey now, you're a star. Oh, he, there's a list. There's like a playlist. All Star. Hey now, you're a rock star. He died this year, remember? He needed CPR probably a bit slow. So it was a bit slow. No song. What did they teach you? It's too early to remember that.

What if I was having a medical emergency? Safe hands. Someone went to Robbie Williams at the weekend and they absolutely forgot how to do CPR. Yeah. No, there's just not. It kind of just makes sense. You know the pace of your own heart, right?

You're just saying, like, feel through it, man. Yeah, just feel it. Are you telling us to CPR on a vibe? What's the vibes? God damn, Gen Z. That's how Gen Z is doing CPR. God damn, everything's on a vibe. So there's, you can go and see playlists

because there's heaps. So whatever song you would relate to the most. Right. Highway to Hell, Akadaka, Numb by Linkin Park, Purple Rain by Prince, Rumour Has It by Adele. Something for all indie tastes. Okay, Indie did a, my 11

year old did a CPR thing at school And they had like a dummy But like I think I told you guys She was doing it And they're like No harder Harder

And because they had Here the dummy's ribs crack It's got like a It's got a rib A rib So you hear the crack And that's how you know You're doing it hard enough

Oh my god Oh no thanks Kneel next to the person And place the heel of your hand on the breastbone at the centre of their chest. Place the palm of your other hand on top of the hand

that's on their chest and interlock your fingers. Position yourself so your shoulders are directly above your hands using your body weight, not just your arms. Well, you'll struggle

because you're a small in a t-shirt now. Will you have the body weight? Well, no, I'm a medium. I'm a large medium. He was small in one t-shirt. No, I'm a large small. In an oversized t-shirt.

No, I really told a lot of people he was a small in a t-shirt now,, I'm a large small. In an oversized t-shirt. No, he really taught a lot of people he was a small in a t-shirt now, which I've never heard a guy brag about. I've never heard a guy be like, hey guys, guess what? I'm a small in a t-shirt now. No, I was a loose small. Are you going to have the body weight

to push down on the chest and crack the ribs? No, I don't know. He's too petite. He's such a petite boy now. I'll probably outsource that. Keeping your hands on their chest, release the compression, allow their chest to return to its normal position

and then repeat these compressions at the rate of 100 to 120 times a minute. 100 days, a big difference there. I've already forgotten all of this. Great. I can't wait to die in front of Carwin who doesn't remember her training or Fletch who's going to outsource my saving.

Thanks. This is great. I'll go on Fiverr. I need someone to resuscitate my friend. Thanks. This is great. I need someone to resuscitate my friend. I don't want to touch your breasts. Oh no, she's like my sister. I don't want to touch your breasts. I don't want to touch my sister's breasts. Oh my God, it's weird.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. You know on your lock screen, if you're an iPhone user, sometimes you've got your now playing showing. Oh, like you're watching YouTube, you shut it down, but it's still on the lock screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it just shows it. It's got a little title. Like I've been watching the morning show. Oh, yeah. And it will say the morning show, whatever, da, da, da, da, da. Yeah. And then even when you close out of it, it's still there. Yeah.

There is a man who shared on Reddit. He's like, help! Because his now playing keeps on showing up the title of the adult content he had watched. Well, like a bug. It won't go away. Yeah, so he's like, I have closed

the browser. The video is not saved. It doesn't do it all the time. But every now and then, the title, which is blanked out, hairy blanked out. Pops up. Wait, what's the first blanked out word? Because I would have thought hairy would have been the leading adjective. No.

Was there a noun before. Like, it could be like curvy hairy something. Curvy is not offensive. Or a colour. But maybe he's just blocking out the term. Yeah, or a colour. Yeah, or a. Yeah.

Or just like very. I don't think there's a need to black out a colour. Whoops. To fuzz a colour. Okay, okay. Oh, my God. I just got think there's a need to black out of colour. Whoops. To fuzz of colour. Okay, okay. Oh my god. I just got the rest of it. So you know what it is? What word? Can you please pop it in the chat?

Not in the work chat. Just out of curiosity, when you said it I was like the hairy should be at the start. It's really inelegant the way this has been done. Is it some kind of bug? What's he using to watch it? It'll just be a,

it'll just be bloody send. Because YouTube does that. It'll just be bloody. There's nothing, that's not on YouTube. That content's not on YouTube. No, no, no.

It'll just be your web browser. Right? I mean, I'm not going to try it. Shut the tab. So there's nothing he put in there. What are we dealing with

an amateur? He said he has, it's a bug. Yeah, so he's shutting the tab. The whole, there's no in there. What are we dealing with? He said he has. It's a bug. Yeah, so he's shutting the tab. There's no video saying. Has he done a hard reset? He said he's reset it.

He did a full factory reset on his phone. I'd throw my phone into a volcano. He did a factory reset and it's still doing it. It's still happening. It's still happening. Throw it in a volcano. Updated the software, everything. Get a secondary device.

Do you think this is some kind of bug? You know like the people that work at Apple, they're like, you know it would be funny? Yeah. We just make this little bug. But is it only him? Has anybody else commented on the story being like, help me, help me, help me? Lots of people commented, but people were more commenting on the title, which I'm trying to send to the group chat, but it's

something's not allowing me. Oh, IT say it. Yeah. Anyway, it's a really funny little screen grab. I just love that his whole thing was, help, make this go away. Please make this go away. Could you, in that browser, start watching something else instead? That's what people were saying.

On the same tab, open a new website. Yes. And view something innocuous. Yeah, which is like, lovely walks. Yeah. How to build a fence. Yeah view something innocuous. Lovely walks. Yeah, how to build a fence. Yeah, lovely beach walks. Yes, and then watch that. Gorgeous.

Gorgeous sunsets. Big hairy sunsets. 20 past six next on the show, the top six. Yeah, the top six order of six babies. Gordon Ramsay has had his sixth child. So at time of birth of the sixth,

of course, you've got a ranking in your head. You don't say it out loud, but I will tell you. Yeah. And if you've got six children, don't call to disagree,

but run your own at home. Yeah. Will you be ranking your children as well next? No, no, no, no. It's hard when there's only two. Yeah. Someone will get upset.

There's a winner and a loser. Yeah. There's no middle ground. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley when there's only two. Yeah. Someone will get upset. There's a winner and a loser. Yeah. But there's no middle ground. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley from the bustling ZM think tank. This is the top six. We should do a, we should do a phoning,

phone in topic at some stage with like, what do you just send to your partner? Because Shara and I are constantly sending each other real estate listings with absolutely no intention of moving. Check out this unusual

place. Did you win a lotto at the weekend and not tell us? No, I'm just like, check out this weird, I'm just going to send that to her before I forget. What an unusual property. Check this out. It's just down the road. Did you know this was here? Etc, etc. Anyway, today's top

six is not about that. It is the top six babies if you have six babies. Like the ranking of your children. Gordon Ramsay's just had another child. How old is he? He's still working. He's still working? What do you mean he's still working?

He's virulent. I thought you meant literally like he's still got a job. He's 57. That's old, eh? That's dusty. That's dusty little stuff. Yeah, you hear about people, they maybe have started a bit later,

but he's got adult children. How old is his oldest child? I thought he only had teenagers. Is there a gap now? Like is this baby like... No, because he's kind of consistently been having them. Really? Yeah, Tilly and that.

Tilly, Megan is Gordon Ramsay's oldest child, and she's 25, born in 1998. So he's been having children since 1998. Wow. 25 years old. Who could be bothered with one, let alone six? Imagine being that old and, like, it's time to start living life

and then you're just doing it again. And it's the same woman. When are they going to have time to go on their P&O cruise? I know. You can't take a baby on one of those. Well, you can. I think you think you can. His wife is 49 years old.

And she's been having babies for the last 25 years. Good on her. She must love it Good for her So he's got a son, his sixth child And this is the top six definitive rankings of children If you have six of them At time of birth of the sixth Okay

Number six on the list The third Oh, okay The third child Stuck in the middle Stuck in the middle Yeah Wasn't the first Probably sick of their attention seeking The third. Oh, okay. The third child. Stuck in the middle. Stuck in the middle. It wasn't the first.

Probably sick of their attention seeking. Yeah. Probably there might have been a dip at the third where the third's like... Or why'd you go back for fourth, fifth, sixth? Yeah, and then they get an attitude about it which only cements their place as the sixth favourite child. Yeah. In the place of six children.

Number five on the list of the top six babies ranked, if you have six babies, the fourth. Because the fourth is just about as bad as the third. Give it a couple more years and it'll be as bad as the third, but that's also two more years for the third to become even more of the sixth place. The fourth feels forgettable. You would often leave them behind.

The oft-left behind sibling would be the fourth. God, my mum confuses my brother and I and my dad. And the cats. And the cats. And the cats. Like, your mum would be listening through all of the names of all six kids. But when you're a parent, you've just got a whole lot of, as you know, the lotto balls?

Yeah. Diddle-in, diddle-in, diddle-in, spinning around. Those are all the names that you use regularly. When you're a parent, one just drops into that little thing. Right. It could be the wrong one. Okay. It's not the one you're after.

Number four on the list of the top six ways to rank six children at the birth of the sixth. Number four is the second. Oh, yep. Okay. Because the second's like

been around for a while. Yeah. Probably not as exciting as the first. Yeah. Probably not as exciting as the first. I reckon once upon a time you really loved them. No doubt. They would have the first. Yeah. Probably not as exciting as the first. I reckon once upon a time you really loved them. No doubt. They would have been first.

Yeah. They've had their place at the top. They've had their time at the top. Just slowly but surely. But then also, yeah, they're not as, you know, crowd-pleasing as some of the others, but they're also not as divisive as the sixth, as the third and fourth.

Yeah. You know, the second just, the second knows their place, I guess. And that's why they're happy in the middle of the pack. Number three on the list of the top six babies ranked, if you have six babies. Number three is the fifth. Oh yeah.

Because the fifth is kind of like pretty new, but you had a sixth for a reason, didn't you? Yeah. Fifth didn't knock it out of the park. No. Fifth was like, okay, let's... I like it enough that I would have another one. Yeah, yeah.

It didn't put me off. No, not as a third. But it doesn't satisfy me. If I was still at the third now, I probably wouldn't have had a fourth or fifth or a sixth. Yeah. Second place in the way of ranking six children if you have them at the birth of the sixth

is, in second place, is the first. Oh, okay., is the first. Oh, okay. They're your first. And they're the oldest now, so you're almost kind of like, well, in this case anyway, in Gordon Ramsay's case, he's got a 25-year-old

probably relating to them as an adult. Can talk to them about adult things. A little bit of a confidant. And, you know, they'll pass those horrible teenage years into their mid-20s. And number one on the list of the top six babies if you have six babies

at the birth of the sixth has got to be the sixth. Surely not. You had it for a reason. Crying and loud and yucky. You don't know it yet. Your face is squishy.

We're at the birth of the sixth. We're not six weeks into the sixth. Oh, yeah. Because then at six weeks into the sixth, the sixth will probably be about food.

Okay, yeah. So if you manage to follow that and the amount of times I felt like I said sixth. Yeah. What a great start to the week. That's today's top six.

There was a massive study done on cheating, like infidelities, cheating on your partner, your wife, your husband, your person. Yeah. Your dog? How do you cheat on your dog? Because Your husband Your person Yeah And Your dog Because sometimes When you smell of other dogs And your dog's like And

Who's that bitch Yes or sometimes I'll pat a dog And my cat can definitely tell Yeah Yes You've been out there Running with dogs again

He won't talk to me For like a day Yeah I have to sleep on the couch Well they're sensitive eh Yeah they are They do that thing Where they just like

Sit down Like we call it Sausage rolling Where they just sit And down, like we call it sausage rolling, where they just sit and you can tell they're in a huff. Yeah. You're like, you all right? And he's like, you tell me. If I wasn't, why wouldn't I be?

Yeah. You all right? Do I have a reason to not be all right? No, I'm fine. What would it be? Anyway, out of this study, which they weren't looking for, they sort of uncovered something that, a trend. Yeah.

And they were like, oh, interesting. And it was the day of the week where most people, if they're going to cheat, would cheat on. Now, we already know it's not going to be Monday. Not Monday. Because Monday, honestly, I'm. I'm so tired today. Like, you're lucky I'm here. Like, just count your blessings.

I've turned up. Yeah. And then he wasn't here. You are contractually obliged to be here today. I know, but my phone died over the night because I had my brown noise on. And I woke up and I was like, oh, no, I haven't woken up to an alarm, have I? And the brown noise wasn't playing. And I was like, oh, no.

It was 3.45. Oh, okay, lucky. Yeah, okay. I went and charged and then put something on my watch and it was fine. Okay. Monday, you're lucky I'm here. Tuesday, I'm pepping up, but I'm still, you know, I'm still kind of behaving.

Yep. Tuesday, I'm still on a diet. I'm going to the gym. Do you know what I mean? I'm not probably planning on cheating on my husband. I'm humping on Tuesday. You cheat on a Tuesday? No, no, not cheating.

I'm humping, though. Well, this is cheating, not humping. Yeah, I know, but I'm giving you my where I'm at on a Tuesday. Also, it's Taco Tuesday. You're humping after tacos? Before. Before tacos. Oh, okay.

I'm going to eat too many tacos for humping to. Oh, okay. I'm going to eat too many tacos for humping to be an option. And I'm going to eat so many tacos, humping's absolutely out of the way for the first half of Wednesday. Yeah, so Wednesday's a write-off as well.

This is you wanting to hump. Do it always. Yeah, okay. Well, then we're at Wednesday, right? So it's hump day, which typically I like to hump on hump day. People are tired as well.

Yeah, I know. I can't hump on Wednesday because of all the tacos from the night before. I'm still a little uncertain in the southern hemisphere. Yeah, right. Thursday we're getting excited. Now I'm thinking of cheating. You know, now I'm going. The week,

the good week's wearing off on me and I'm getting annoyed by Aaron. I'm thinking, oh, I'm going to go out and I'm going to get someone else. And I'm going to have a nice fun time with them. But I'm busy and I've got work the next day. Yeah. So you're not cheating.

I can't be a late one. It can't be a late one. Not on Thursday. No. Just a cheeky play with yourself. Probably take care of that on Thursday, the itch. That itch, the scratch, the itch. Yeah, Thursdays.

Yeah, thirsty Thursdays. Yeah. Friday is the day that they found out, they call it the day of temptation, that most people would cheat. Really? I'd love to cheat, but I've got D&D with the boys at seven. Oh, nerds.

So I'm not going to be able to cheat. How long does D&D go for? All night. What do you mean all night? Like until I go to bed. Yeah, but that's a perfect cover for cheating. Because Sade's already asleep at that point, surely. Yeah, but I can't let the boys down. No, no, no, no. You play don't go to bed. You just don't go to bed.

I can't let the boys down, you know. No, no, no, no. You play D&D all night and say you wrap up about 11. Sade's fast asleep. Yeah. Pop in your bloody chimney and get down the driveway.

Oh, I'm too tired. You're too tired. And probably, to be honest, a little too tipsy. Right, okay. Oh, well, that's one of the things. It's like Friday, end of the work week.

Stress relief, go, you know. But if, like, we're done. It's the cheating day. It's the cheating day. Upcoming weekend, I could bloody go out tonight and say I'm doing D&D with the boys, but really I'm doing D&D with my boys. Do you think it's work

drinks or an after work that's the perfect cover? People relax on a Friday after they finish work. They have a few drinks. They get excited about upcoming activities and leisure of the weekend. Gets you a little bit loose.

Wow, and that's the day. Yeah. So they do say the second day. So Friday's number one. Not Saturday. Wednesday. Hump day. Hump day. We're humping on Wednesday. Really? Why do they say Wednesday? We call it the Wednesday waiver. Wednesday. Hump day? Hump day.

We're humping on Wednesday. Really? Why do they say Wednesday? We call it the Wednesday waiver. Okay. When you're sort of teetering, your good intentions and your wild side are sort of meeting in the middle.

Do you think that Wednesday is also the day that people give up the gym and the healthy eating for the week? Or is that more Tuesday? Yeah, because you've done Monday, Tuesday, and you're like, man. And you're looking good. You're looking good.

Someone's got to appreciate this. Your shoulders are a bit tight. You're like, I feel And you're looking good. You're looking good. Someone's got to appreciate this. Your shoulders are a bit tight. You're like, I feel like I might be popping. Yeah. I might be popping. It's time to cheat on my partner. It's time to cheat on my wife. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little poe. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly. That silly little poe. Silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole. I prefer to call it the alligator pear. The alligator pear.

The avocado. The avocado. How do they say that in Central America? The home of the javacatos. Do you know what Spanish is for avocado? It The avocado. How do they say that in Central America? The home of the avocados. Do you know what Spanish is for avocado? It is avocado. Is it? But I was just wondering how it's said.

Avocados. Hava. Avocado. Sure. Sure. Avocado. But the alligator pear is another name. Paleta.

Well, today's silly little poll. How do you cut your avocado? I saw somebody cut it left to right, left to right, side to side. The wrong way. No. That's not right. Stand it up so a pear sits. Well, the avocado won't because it's got a rounded bottom.

Stand it up like that and then you go top to bottom. Yeah, that's the way you do it. 87% of people agree with us in our silly little poll. Only 87? 13% of people cut side to side. What are you doing? Who raised you? Mad, mad people.

Yeah. Angela says, depends on how much I'm eating. If eating all of it, I'll go lengthways. If just having a wee bit, then I'll cut the top off. You should have just the tip. So the surface area to go brown. Oh, yeah, okay. It's ingenious.

That might actually work if you only want like a third of it bigger, though. Yeah, you just cut the top off so the surface area to go brown. Oh, yeah, okay. It's ingenious. That might actually work if you only wanted like a third of a big A, though. Yeah, you just cut the tip off. And then you're not making the rest brown while it's in the fridge. Yeah, keep the whole seed. I always thought that it was a great way of justifying eating a whole avocado. Oh, yeah. You cut it up and you're like, this thing's going to go brown. I might as well eat it.

And literally have a more pieces of toast. Have an avocado on each piece of vogel. I mean, that's fine when it's like three avocados for $2, but when they're $4 each. I don't buy them when they're, because they're always rubbish. They always go from rock hard to brown mush. Kaylee says, I switch it up depending on the vibe of the avocado.

She's vibing. She's just vibing the avocado. Vibing the avocado. She's just vibing the avocado. You've got to vibe. Those round ones? Haas. Are Haing the avocado. She's just vibing the avocado. You've got to vibe. Those round ones? Haas. Are Haas the round ones?

I think so. What's the standard ones we're eating? Are they the standard ones? No, Haas is standard. Oh. What are the round ones called? Damn, there's a name for them, eh? There's all different sorts of names.

Reed? Reed. Yes, and they look like they're not ripe because they're green. But they are. They are. If they're round, you could go round. You could go either way on those just because it's equal. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm still going the same way. Saskia is offended. She said, in capital letters, who would cut it side to side? What the swear word with lots of Ks on the end. Wow. She's angry about it. She's livid. I didn't mean to upset people.

Kaylee says, the top quarter with no seed is the perfect serving size. So I go side to side just above the seed. Same thing. Just the tip. I wonder if we should have had a trigger warning before this. Yeah, I feel actually deeply offended. If you take the tip off and then next time you go around top to bottom. Yeah, that could work.

Then you've got good serving sides either side. You've got three serves out of an abo. Ashley said, side to to side people need help. Yeah. Neither. They're the most boring, bland, tasteless, fruit, veg, whatever you call it. We've got a salt pepper though. It's a super food though, isn't it?

And a guacamole? Yum. Yeah, you've got to add things to it, but it's a great base. Andrew said that, but then Andrew says, whatever they are about the avocado, like your Fijohas, your Kiwis love weird foods. I'm calling for his immediate deportation. I hate Fijohas, but Fijohas taste too much like something. Andrew Reddison comes from, but he's on the first plane back.

Yeah, right. Okay. How absolutely bloody dare he come for the Fijoha. And the avocado. How do you say Fijoha? It's Fijoha. I know it's Fijoha. I just like Fijoha for the fajoa. And the avocado. How do you say fajoa? It's fijoa. I know it's fijoa. I just like fajoa.

Fajoa. I just feel so lazy to just like fajoa. Because it sounds like you're about to say another word. Fagina. Yeah. Yeah. Which is also wrong. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Just to reiterate, fashion is my passion. I care deeply about fashion. I'm confused by this. So Niall Horan is a judge on The Voice. Something's got voice to it. This is the same Niall Horan that was in One Direction. Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

One and the same. Yes, it is. So he is a judge on The Voice. And he was on, a little clip was shared of behind the scenes, and this happened. My uncle has those shoes. Huh? My uncle has those shoes.

Why do people your age not wear these? Two people today have said, my uncle has these shoes. Really? Guys, he's wearing Chuck Taylors. Could you hear in his voice, that wasn't a laugh like... How old am I? He's wearing Converse Chuck Taylors. He's 30.

He's 30, yeah, he's 30. I just googled that. Oh, how embarrassing. Oh my God, since when? No, no, no, 30. I just googled that. Oh, how embarrassing. Oh, my God. Since when? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. These are timeless classics. Do you need to check with...

Yeah, Gen Z. Young girlies. Shannon. You've got chucks. No. Oh! I'm past that point, sorry. Oh!

I'm not saying they're old. I'm just saying they're not trendy anymore. Oh, my God. Producer Jared is a passionate advocate for the Chuck Taylor um time is classic

they'll never go out of style I will wear them till the day I die you're nearly 30 aren't you no I don't know if we need to talk about that isn't it a month away you and Niall Horan

couple of old men same age as Niall Horan and this is shocking news to you as well I don't believe it they're cool man what about I wear the platform ones Shannon a little extra yeah no those are like Same age as Niall Horan, and this is shocking news to you as well. I don't believe it. They're cool, man. What about I wear the platform ones, Shannon?

A little extra... That's even such a question. Yeah, no, those are like... I'm not saying they're not cool. I'm just saying it's not the go-to style anymore. But like the platforms or the trying different ones, people are just going for like a plain white sneaker, I feel like now. Like the girly look is just like a white... Can we do a shoe check on the studio?

Oh, yeah. Okay. Or like in Carlin. Is it an Air Force One? I'm going to chuck Taylor over there. Is it an Air Force One? No, not an Air Force One, but that is the kind of style. You're going to love when you hear that song about Air Force Ones.

Don't. Air Force One. Okay, what about, can we do a check? What are you wearing? Fletch? New Balance. New Balance daddy shoe? Yeah, well, I like a daddy shoe.

Yeah. Okay. Straight up, straight up. Straight up to HR. Straight up on tone alone. Yeah, that tone. Vaughan Smith, what have we got? Birkenstocks.

Yeah, Birks are cool. And I don't give a shit what you think. You see, if I drove to work at the moment, I'd be wearing Birkenstocks. Are Docs cool? It's a little cold on the toes. Guys, could you just hear that Docs are cool? Shut up, Grandma. I've got Docs too.

I wear my Docs too. You'll be not wearing them today. It's all about what you chose in this moment. Right. So I'm cool. I only went off cuts because of the lack of arch support. That's why you've got to get the platform ones. Because I'm an old man. And you have to spend so much time bending over doing up the laces.

My back's no good. Do what I do. Here's a great tip for you. If you can't undo the much time bending over doing up the laces. My back's no good. Do what I do. Here's a great tip for you. If you can't undo the lace, I just cut them off. Because you got so drunk a few weeks ago, you couldn't get out of your shoes. Couldn't get out of my shoes. I cut them off.

Jesus Christ. No, it's because I do something. It's even when I haven't had drinky poos, but it's elevated by the drinks. Yeah. But the way I double knot is stupid. And the chuck lace is a tight lace it's a real thin tight lace

and there's some way I'm tying them that is wrong and so I couldn't get out of them the other week I would only go back to Chucks if I had a good pair of orthopedic insoles you know those things that look like laces but they're elastic curly ones and you put your foot in there You know those things that look like laces but they're elastic? Oh, okay. Curly ones.

And you put your foot in and then it shuts around the foot again. Why don't you add a Velcro strap, you loser? Dude, 100%. The day when I was a kid, mum's like, no more Velcro shoes, loser. I was so upset. I love my barter bullets. Barter bullets! It sounds like you need a kumpf.

A pair of kumps. You do need a kumpf. A pair of hush puppies. Yeah, a pair of hush puppies or a hannah's am I yeah hannah's

hush puppies had their own store did they I don't know if they do anymore couple of

hush puppies out there they don't do their own stores anymore but you can still

get them apparently there's a new smartphone app This is great news for you Hayley That can tell if you're drunk just by listening to you Yep I mean

An alien could tell I get Before I slur I get nonsensical And then start slurring No I would say your slurring Kicks in before. Oh, okay. There's the hair.

There's the hair. There's the hair tussle. And then you'll say something and you'll be like, oh, okay. Yeah. You'll be like, what? Born. The microphone's got the jacket all wrong. Yeah.

Sorry? Does it? What? Okay. Aaron. See, maybe your partner would probably pick up just as well as this app, but apparently they've made software And they did testing and they compared it

To breathalyser levels So it could tell you actually The level of intoxication So it listens to your frequency and pitch And basically with a 98% Accuracy predicted Intoxication I thought it was just going to be like you drunk

And I'd be like, anyone can tell that. But if I can sort of tell the levels... But like, imagine if they had this to get into like the club or a bar and it's like... They'd hold it up to you and you'd say... They made people read out tongue twisters and sentences. Oh, that's not fair.

She's on the beach and she's got some shells and she wants a good price for the shells on the beach and she's got some shells and she wants a good price for the shells on the seashore. And it's not going to let them go for less than her asking price. And if you want to come and battle with this woman selling seashells on the seashore, you're a prick. I will say, I will say she's a bit of a, she's a bitch. I went down there and she wouldn't even look at me.

If you were peddling seashells on the seashore. No, but they're just like in the ocean. Do you know who was also a bitch? Peter Piper. No, he's just trying to pick her, pick her, pick her. Peppers weren't ready to pick him. Then why? Why don't I pick her, pick her, pick her?

You're too small. You're not getting into this bar. How about pick her, pick her, pick hang. Then why? play ZM oh my gosh what are we doing now we are talking about AI reviews I'm here for it let's do let's go AI travel reviews are absolutely

saturating the online travel world because I I would never ever go anywhere book anywhere without reading reviews

these days same I don't know how we planned trips before the internet. The what? We really hit the middle syllable there. The internet. Internet. Internet.

My first big overseas trip was in 2006 and that was on the back of a marching tattoo in Norway and we just went to like London, Paris. Do you know what I mean? Because I was like that's where you go when you go abroad. Yeah. Other than that, because we didn you go when you go abroad. Yeah. Other than that, because we didn't really, like, use the internet that much.

There weren't huge online reviews then. You didn't go through Instagram and see some amazing beach and you were like, I must go there. And now, later years, you go on. You go on TripAdvisor. You go on blogs, travel blogs, Instagram, pictures, Google search, everything. And you go, that's where I want to go. And you curate it. Yeah. But now AI is like totally taking over.

There's like so many AI articles. Like just recently, sorry, that was a really wet swallow. It made me feel like I needed to also have a wet swallow. Everyone listening in is part of the show Wet Swallow. Yeah. Good. A little breath at the end. have a wet swallow. Everyone listening in is part of the show Wet Swallow. Yeah. Good. A little breath at the end. A little wet swallow.

So recently, Google blocked or removed a total of 115 million fake reviews of hotels alone in 2022. That is insane. TripAdvisor has also identified 1.3 million fake reviews last year alone and now Issue is trying to put up warnings and everything on their sites of this. But how do you know if it's an AI review? That's the thing

AI is so smart. If it's just like five stars, love the room. Even reading this article this is from the NZ Herald about this. You read this thing about influenced by online reviews and AI technologies doing this. And if you need an example of just how convincing AI can be, consider that the paragraph you just read was written by AI.

And you're like, you played me NZ Herald on your 160th birthday. So also they're going like photos, like chat GPT, like how you use the image creator thing. Yeah. Creating images like this of Bali or wherever or Thailand. Is that a fake image? It's BS. Yeah, that's fake.

That's not true. That's not real. And it totally takes out things like pollution, overcrowding. You see like photos of Venice. And people are like, Venice looks beautiful. And you get there and you're like, I can't see it. There's a thousand Americans here. Yeah.

In my way. And they just use AI to show the best case scenario of a place. So what do you do? I guess you could check with, like if you find a place you like, like a beach or a place, you could cross check it with Instagram.

Yeah. And they're going, basically like if you go, I'm interested in going to this island or this destination or this place, go to the thing and see that it looks nice, but then go, I'm interested in going to this island or this destination or this place, go to the thing and see that it looks nice, but then go to five other websites, travel bloggers, people that actually travel for a living,

Instagram, Google search. Don't just go to one source for your information. And don't believe the reviews? Yeah, because all these reviews are just written by AI bots being like, had a fantastic stay at the Holiday Inn. No, that was Chingy that wrote that. Oh, was that Chingy? Yeah, that was Chingy.

Oh, I thought Chingy was an AI bot. He may have been. I haven't heard from him lately. Oh my God. Conspiracy theory. Chingy is AI. Next on the show. It was the first bot.

Well, grubby restaurants are still happening. Auckland. It always seems to be Auckland Council that are like, man, you guys want to hear about some grubby restaurants? They've released photos of all the D&E grade eateries. And I'm like, why don't, you've never seen Christchurch City Council

or Wellington or any of the other councils doing this? Yeah. Like, release them. Oh, Wellington used to do it because they used to really, it was always the list of my favourite places. To get a beautiful, like, roti canai or something. Yum. These photos.

Auckland always says here's the D's and E's. And they haven't sorted their shit out, right? Because you get a chance, a period to sort your stuff out. Otherwise, you get slapped with this on your window. Yep. And people are like, it is a $7 chow mein though. It's a $7 chow mein for a reason. Yeah, I can't taste how grubby this is.

Yeah. I don't know how much chow mein for a reason. Yeah, I can't taste how grubby this is. Yeah. I don't know how much chow is in this mein. Yeah. 27 restaurants inspected by the Auckland Council have received either D or E grades. And this is the first time I've ever seen an article where they've decided to put in the photos, the evidence. Yeah.

So the council released the photos. This is not. By the way, this article, you might think, ha ha, it is not for the weak of stomach. Oh my God. Can you add this to the group chat, please? I would like to follow along. You need to Google this and look at their photos.

There's a couple of things that... There is a photo... There's a bucket. Don't, Vaughan, don't. I'm going to start doing my coughing. There is a photo of a microwave and it doesn't look too dissimilar to our work microwave. I know, and we fought hard for that grubby microwave.

Well, when I say we, born on our behalf. To the nail with the system. What is amazing about these photos, did you see at the bottom of the article, what is amazing about these photos is that it says that they were given a grace period to clean up and they all have A's now. I'm like, there is no way you can clean something up to an A.

Unless your cleaning was burning it down. Unless you did a full kitchen renovation. This is, I think, this is my favourite because it doesn't make me want to be sick, but I've got so many questions. There's a large green bowl. Now, that, I don't even know what. I know, it's got a yeasty thing in it that's rising,

so it's obviously making a bread of some sort this bowl looks like what kind of bowl how would you describe this bowl it's not a food bowl if you were stuck and you really needed to go poos or spew it's one of those bowls that you always had around the house

it was a spew bowl but it was also the popcorn bowl but it is the sick bowl it's the bowl you would vomit but it was also the popcorn bowl. But beside it. It is the sick bowl. It's the bowl you would vomit into as a kid. Because it's nice and big, so it's easier to hit. It's got high sides. It would be on the floor beside your bed, high sides, big bowl.

Beside the bowl of rising yeasty product is an open hole in the wall and pink bats are no more than three inches away. And then this mysterious mould. God knows what's living in there. You're telling me that restaurant went to an A? Oh, my God. That's unbelievable. Did you see who's at the top of the list?

I won't say, but I've definitely eaten there multiple times. Have I eaten there? Yes. I've eaten there. I've eaten there. I've eaten there. They only need to go to a restaurant that's A grade and see like a cockroach or any kind of infringement

and you get dropped down. Yeah, totally, totally, totally. All of these places are A's now. And so there is a list of them. Oh my goodness. I know, I'm just going through. I'm so far in at two. Two, three.

I've got three so far. You know what? It builds your gut health, you know? We're bubble wrapping our children. They need to eat more mouldy infested foods. If I could have my flatbread, you know, ferment and develop beside an open wall cavity with pink bats and mould, that would be great.

That would be great, yeah. Again, it's making you stronger. Yeah. We would like to talk about this morning. No names because we don't want the legal implications. But we want to know the grimmest thing you've seen in a restaurant or a takeaway or a bakery or anything. Like the thing...

Like when the bathroom's through the kitchen and you have to walk behind the chefs and you're like, hello, and then you go and you're like, oh no, I've said too much.

There's no closed door between where I'm doing wee-wees and where they're doing poo. Making noodles. But a lot of places you go through and there's a toilet

and it's clean and that's fine, right? Oh my God, yeah. Yeah. I love it. I'm always like, hell yeah, this is fun.

A little look on the other side. Behind the scenes. But what have you seen at a restaurant? The grimacing. Did you see someone drop a steak on the floor and then just pick it up and put it on the grill? Yeah.

Or the one in Wellington was like, where I like to get it, was famous for taking the leftover food and scraping it back into the vat of deliciousness. I don't like that at all. So if I only ate half a bowl, they'd be like, that's still good. We were at a, years and years and years ago.

They put your leftovers back into the- This is a very famous place in Wellington and everyone was like, oh, but $7. $7, this is how they keep their prices down. And I'm fine with it. And recycling, you know, like think of the planet. There was that time we went to a bakery years and years and years ago

and there was no one out front. And so I was like, hello? And I could hear someone back. So I stuck my head around the corner and I saw a woman going and wiping her hands with a handful of chicken that she was shredding. Oh, get out! Get out! To put in the filled rolls.

And she was like, like a real, like a very wet nose. A very wet nose. High fever-ish. Yeah, gross. And this is pre-COVID. Oh, years before. I think we were in the middle of swine. I think swine was still fresh on the mind.

That's probably what started swine flu, maybe. Okay, 0800 DARMS at M is our number. Give us a call. And we want to keep these places anonymous. But what is the grimmest thing you saw at a restaurant or a bakery? Maybe you worked there? Yeah. Auckland City Council have released some photos

of the grimmest finds at the D and E grade restaurants. We're struggling with this and regretting even bringing it up. I think all councils should do this because I think it would keep people accountable. This is so gross. Some of the messages are just like... So we've asked this morning, what is the grimmest thing you saw at a restaurant

or a bakery or a food place? Anonymous, but wow. This message was the one that had me laughing. A super bougie bistro in a small town had a restaurant cat. Oh, yeah? That's a no-no. No, I'm okay with it.

Shop cats are fine. Shop cats are fine. Restaurant cats are fine. No. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it, too. No, I'm okay with it. Shop cats are fine. Shop cats are fine. Restaurant cats are fine. No. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that. We were told, we found after we smelt,

we smelt it, we found what we were told was a cat poo in the pot plant next to our table. No way. But I swear to God, it looked like the chef

had taken a squat. That cat must have had a giant butthole. No, my cat does human. Could have been a main coon. Because a friend of the show, Morgan, was house sitting this weekend and she messaged me a voice messagethole. No, my cat does human. Could have been a main coon. Because a friend of the show, Morgan, was house-sitting this weekend,

and she messaged me, a voice message. She said, does your cat do human-sized shits? I'm like, yeah, he does. Does he? Yeah. He used to have a high-fibre diet because he's got a, you know, a gentle butthole. Oh, he does have a gentle butthole.

A couple of loose buttholes in that house, am I right? Yeah, but I've got to use you. Oh, and Alan Smith. He's got into your bloody vics. We've just got high-fibre diets. He's got his vapour drops. Hayley Jane's bro. Joe and Vaughan Alan Smith.

And Vaughan Alan Smith. Leave Vaughan Alan Smith out of this. Tony, good morning. You're a fridge engineer, so you would have seen some stuff. Oh, God, Tony. You don't call a fridge engineer when your fridge is working perfectly, do you, Tony? Yeah, no.

Morning, guys. Yeah, I've seen a few bits, but this was back in the UK. We had a call out to go and fix the fridge in a restaurant, which was shut, and they hadn't opened yet. So I knocked on the door, and the guy came to the door. So I come to fix the fridge. And he looked at me and pointed to the, we walked through the restaurant. And it was all closed, of course.

And then we saw the swing doors, you know, the swing doors in and out of the kitchen. So he said, in there. So I went in and I said, where's the lights? Where's the lights? And he looked at me and he walked in and he turned the lights on. And when the fluorescence came on I have never in my life

seen so many mice. There were hundreds. When I say hundreds I mean hundreds. Shut up, not hundreds. You don't mean hundreds. You mean tens. He means hundreds.

I mean hundreds. They were on the floor. They were on the shelves. They were on the benches. Why would he lead you into the shop? They, I know. And he looked at me

and I went, what's going on? He looked at me. I went, what's going on? He looked at me and he just walked away. But what was wrong with the fridge with the mice in it? No, the thing is, it was an upright fridge and the fan had gone underneath it, one of the condenser fans. We call it a condenser fan.

Anyway, I had to pull the fridge open away from the wall. Well, more came out and they were running all up my legs. Oh, you're right. That's everybody's nightmare with rats and mice and they run up their trousers. I know. Well, it's funny. I actually put my overall socks, my socks over my overalls.

Good, good, good. You've got to make a tight seal so the mice don't get in. Yeah, exactly. So what I did afterwards, I fixed the fridge and I walked out disgusted, of course, and I phoned the council. And then the next time I drove past, they'd shut down. Yeah. Good, good.

No, that was a good call. Oh, my God. I can't. Why would you book anyone to come and fix anything when there's hundreds of mice? And I'm not exaggerating. When I say hundreds, there were hundreds. In his defence, Tony, Ratatouille really made it look like the mice could cook. I mean, one mouse made a difference.

Yeah, yeah. Hundreds of mice. You could get so much work done with hundreds of mice. That's a Michelin star. Working together. Thank you, Tony. No, not thank you, Tony. Thank you, Tony.

Coming in, 9696, 0800, Darns and him. So many. We'll get to more of these stories next. The grossest things you've seen. There are some gorgeous texts coming in of the grossest thing you've seen at a, well, not just restaurants, some food providers. Yeah. Things you've seen.

These are the two that really have made me laugh in the last minute. I used to work next to a restaurant in Auckland. I went out back for lunch one day. I was sitting there and then I was like, what's that on the bonnet of the car? They were defrosting meat on the bonnet of the car. Shut up. No cover or anything.

Black car, hot day, frozen meat just sitting straight on the car. Not even a cling wrap. Nothing. Raw meat. The meat juice dribbling down the bonnet as it defrosted. What about birds?

Who cares? Not a problem. They're not worried about birds at that point. Oh, my God. That's disgusting. I was at a bakery. I was sitting at... I never sit in a bakery at the bakery table.

There's always one table there with, like, two chairs. Oh, my God. And sometimes you'll see old people love sitting there because they're not getting back in the car. They'll just eat and then they'll get it back on the road. Flaky pastry in the car. I was sitting there. Yeah. Because they're not getting back in the car. They'll just eat and then they'll get it back on the road. Flaky pastry in the car. I was sitting there. I was eating my sandwich.

I saw a pigeon walk through the flappy curtain of the back room. I love that. My work there. At least not at this stage. Judge this pigeon. Yeah. Walks through and then hops up onto the counter and walks down the entire counter eating the crumbs off the counter.

And the lady working there didn't give a shit. She's watched it happen. I haven't looked good. Sarah, what's the grossest thing you saw at a food provider? So it was about a month ago. I went and did my normal shopping at a supermarket and I buy like weenies and buns for my son for lunches on the weekend. Sorry, weenies.

Weenies, you know, the little polonie weenies. I know what a weiner is, but I've never heard of them. Little red sausages called weenies. Okay. Like a Cheerio. Yeah. Yeah, like a Cheerio, yeah.

Weenies! Weenies and buns! Those sausages have too many names for how small they are. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Okay. And so I just grabbed the front packet of buns, you know,

that the supermarket makes their own buns and wraps them in the bags and clothes, and just go home the next day, went to get these buns out for my son, and I found this little brown thing in it, and I thought, oh, there's a little bit on the bun. And when I looked closer, it was actually a cockroach in the bag running around. It was running around? Having a hell of a time.

Yeah, running around. It was trapped in there. It didn't go in at your house. It was in a supermarket. No, it was fully enclosed, nothing opened. Yeah. I mean, he would have been having the time of his life.

He's got six bloody beautiful buns there. Yeah, he's like, chuck us a couple of weenies. Yeah, yeah. Chuck us a weenie, honey. Chuck us a weenie. Sarah, thank you. Anonymous, what is the grossest thing you saw at a restaurant?

Good morning. When I was like 15 years old, so it's not there anymore, don't worry. I was working, it was my first job, and I was working at an Italian restaurant in Milford. And there was no way I was going to say anything. But for their desserts, they would get their desserts from the cheesecake shop around the corner. Oh, yeah.

Classic. Classic, yeah. And they went to go and serve it. And the guy dropped the cheesecake, like, face down on the floor in the kitchen. Uh-oh. And picked it back up, all this black stuff on it. Like, I used to be able to slide on this kitchen floor. Yes!

And he just flicked the black stuff off and then served it. Oh, yuck. No, yuck. At least put some more icing on it. No, do you know what I would have done to cover it up? I would have got a flake and flaked it. Flaked it. Flaked it on and covered up the dirt.

It's cream. Flaked. Whipped cream in a flake. Yep. And. Flaked it on and covered up the dirt. It's cream. Flake. Whipped cream in a flake. Yep. And a couple slices of nana. Anonymous. Nanas. Whipped cream and flake.

Thank you. Some more messages. So many gross stories coming in. Guys, get a grip. We were outside the chip shop. The owner came out onto the main street of town, flopped it out and took a wazz in the gutter on the side of the road through the grate.

You know, in his defence, he went straight into the grate. We appreciate that. Then went back in and kept cooking. We literally watched him go back in straight, no hand wash. Oh, yuck. Yeah, 12 years ago that was.

The place is still open, but I've never bought myself to have fish and chips from there again. A few places, a few reports of people seeing woman just, well, people just walk out and take a whazz. Someone said, we're about to go into a fruit and veg shop

and parked around the back and then the back door flew open and a woman charged out. She was wearing an apron. She worked there. She just leant against the wall and took a wazz. Wazz straight then and there. I mean, yeah, it's more graphic when it's a woman, isn't it? It just is.

The way we have to go about it, this whole action of squawking, it's just so much. But you can do it without the genitals being exposed. These people saw the man's penis in the middle of the main street. No, sometimes you can if you... It depends on the angles. You've got a lot. It is a lot.

Okay, okay. Trust me on this. There was no sanitary bin in the bathroom, but there was a conveniently placed hole in the wall, which was filled with used sanitary products. Shut up. I'm embarrassed to be Orban. He's fishing through the grime.

Someone said, I worked at a restaurant where if there were people, it was BYO, but if there was any wine left in the bottom of the bottle, they'd pour it into the house wine. No! I mean... No! I mean, it's house for a reason, right? It's a blended red. You'll say if you ran a restaurant... No, no, no, no, but I'm saying

sometimes I'll be drinking a sav and then Aaron will pop a bubbles and he'll come top me up. I'm not saying, wait till I finish. It's the same colour. Savion Bzeko. I sort of felt it coming for a while, but I grew up believing I was really my father's daughter, like very similar to my dad.

We share a lot of personality traits. Yeah. He's very, I mean, he's hilarious, charming. Okay, yeah. personality traits. Yep. He's very, I mean, he's hilarious, charming, or the same thing. Okay, yeah. Aging like a god and just, just incredibly delightful to be around.

And, I thought she said she was like her father, but what she's just described as counter. Yes. And what way?

Your way. No, look at me in the eye What way? Can you hear me? Now that's my mother coming out Because we always would say Me and my brother are similar in ways

But very different And my brother's very much like my mum And I'm very much like my dad And now as I am Full steam into womanhood There's just these little things That are really happening That are making me think that I'm my mother.

One is the idea that I just need to get through Christmas. We've been talking about that a bit this year. Such a mum thing to say. I just cannot take that on my plate at the moment. Let me just get through Christmas. And I can hear it coming out in ways and I'm like, wow. The second one the other day was that I want to buy a Christmas wreath.

Now, I was a cool goth. What happened to you? I. Now, I was a cool goth. Yeah, what happened to you? I was a party girl and a cool goth. And now I'm thinking I want to buy a Christmas wreath. I'm happy to pay $200. What? I haven't done it, but I'd be happy to. You know what I mean?

Because it's really going to present the house well. And then the other day I was stroking my neck and I remember, and it was really soft. And I was like, oh my God, that's so nice. And it reminded me of when I was a kid and I used to always stroke my mum my neck. And I remember, and it was really soft. And I was like, oh my God, that's so nice. And it reminded me of when I was a kid. And I used to always stroke my mum's neck because it felt so soft. And I'd always go up to my mum's neck

and be like, oh my God, that's so nice. And then I remember my mum telling me as I got older, I was like, oh yeah, you used to always touch your neck. She was like, yeah, because as you get older, the skin loosens and it gets soft. And the other day when I touched my neck, I was like, that's soft. Oh no, it's soft.

I'm becoming my mother with a was like, that's soft. Oh no, it's soft. I'm becoming my mother with a soft neck. Oh, soft neck patsy. And then I was in the supermarket yesterday just getting a couple of bits and pieces, which again is very much like my mother. I'm just going to get a couple

of bits and pieces. And then I just sort of like almost just sort of drifted was drawn towards the magazines and I bought a New Zealand home and garden and what are you like I didn't think you were allowed to buy a house and garden without showing them a picture of your kids yeah I know ma'am do you have the id for the house and garden oh hold on I do have it here somewhere I know but I picked it I picked it up and I was flicking through and I thought, oh, yeah, nice. Like this is –

It's a bit of me. It was an issue on colour in the house and, you know, we've got a very colourful home. I'll get home, I'll pour myself a Chardonnay and I'll sit down and I'll read this. I literally went home and poured myself a glass of Prosecco, slightly where we differ, me and Patsy. And I flicked through a house and garden and I just thought like,

oh my God, I've just become my mum. Because my mum has bought, is it home and garden or house and garden? New Zealand house and garden. She has kept- Well, she's always trying to make her house a home. Yeah, she is. My mum has kept every single issue of New Zealand house and garden

since I think the 80s. So she's got hundreds and hundreds of copies of them and she won't throw them out. And she has every single one and she stacks them in this bookshelf. Oh, that's a hoarder. From March 89, April 89,

and every single thing. And I was like, now I'm buying these magazines and flicking through it. Do you not do what my mum does with her mum? One of them buys the Woman's Weekly and one of them buys the other one and then when they're finished, they swap.

A swap-de-doodle-dan-day. I've got the books for you. She calls them books. My nan calls them books. Remind me, I've got some books for you. And then they switch the magazines. No, we live too far apart. And they've done it for my entire life.

Oh, are you going to see, or if I go see my grandmother, my mum will be like, oh, I've got a couple of books for her And they swap How long between the issue coming out And the swap? Well, no, it's just One of them buys a certain brand

One of them buys the other one It doesn't matter It could go a couple of months But then you've got three You don't want the goths getting old Oh, they don't really care about that Well, that's the thing with New Zealand House and Gun I was like, mum, you're keeping them all

And she's like, yeah, because but she's got almost like a catalogue in her brain and she'll be designing her next house and she'll go, oh, there was that green because I remember I think 2001 there was a particular house and it was from this city and she opens it up

and she like finds them and gets inspiration from these magazines still. It's unreal. And this is me now. I said to Aaron, I was like, we're going to have to get a magazine shelf. Like my mum, he said,

like hell we're getting a magazine shelf. Anyway, look, I guess it's just happening to all of us, isn't it? It's good. Don't fight. You can't fight it.

I know. I'm slowly leaving the father side and I am becoming very much my mother. Minus sort of, you know, lack of proper job and the kids and very much my mother. Minus sort of, you know, lack of proper job and the kids and responsibility and... The drinking.

No, no, that's on par. That is. There is an article on the NZ Herald. Happy birthday, by the way. The NZ Herald is 160 years old. That's old? Yeah, like 160 years ago, the journalists just wrote it out on paper and they just had to do copies like that.

Yeah. That's how they did the newspaper. Yeah, they all just handwritten it. Wasn't it scored into a tablet or something like that? Yeah, they chipped into a tablet. Was that 160 years ago? Chiselling into tablets? Maybe a little bit more than that.

The editor went up the hill and then came back with stone tablets carved with the 10 rules of journalism. Yeah, right, right. As I believe. Yeah, there you go. Anyway, I was reading this article about a parent questioning whether or not it's okay to let their kids swear. And I think that debate's changed a lot over the last years. Like way, way back it was an absolute no,

but now I know parents are a little bit more liberal or free with it or, you know, it's just language. As long as you're not swearing at someone or name-calling. Because you forget they're around. Because when we were around watching the rugby and that ref penalised us again, we let out some swear words and forgot your kids were there. Yeah, they were right.

They've heard swear words. Well, Vaughan was swearing the most. When it was the Warriors, it was bad. I had to be like, I'd swear and then say, excuse my language. Yeah, sorry about that. Sorry about the language. But this article was interesting about going, there was a couple that decided that

he wanted to let swearing become normal in their household and just be like, it's just language. If you want to swear, you can swear inside the house. And his wife was like, over my dead body, you're doing that. And then as they got a bit older and they had like a Google Home thing and when you say, hey, play this song, they always go for the explicit version.

And so their house has been filled with swear words because of the music they listen to. And it's kind of normalized it. So now the wife's come around and been like, actually, it's just language. Like, just swear. Because what do you do? They're not allowed to swear at people. And there's some swear words that, you know,

like when you're older, you can swear. You're allowed to listen to music that's got swear words in it. But the funny thing is they'll be like singing along and then they'll stop and not say the swear word. I don't know how. We're very lucky because I don't sort of like taper my language at home. Do you remember the first time that you said a naughty word? I remember the first time I said the C word.

I had no idea what it meant. Someone at school had said it. Yeah. And I didn't ask what it meant, but they used it in a situation that certainly didn't call for it. Yeah. Like, you bugger probably would have done sufficiently in the time. But they would have just learned it too.

They learned it too. And been trying it out. And they said it. And at the dinner table that night, my father was always very particular about, like, manners at the table. And I sat right by him, so I seemed to get the lion's share of, use your knife and your fork and elbows off the table and I can hear you chewing and all that.

And I said, stop being such a C-word. Fuck! How old were you? Eight. Oh, my God! Wow! And I remember it was like, if it was a sitcom, there would have been a record scratch.

And he grabs me and he just threw me away from the table. He just picked you up with one arm. He just picked me up. My father was a rage-filled man when we were younger. People can't believe it when they meet a man who is such an angry fellow. And he just lobbed me over the table and I went, whee, hit the ground, skidded on the lino. Yeah. And it was like, get out.

And I was like, I'm was like i ran away crying yeah and then like mom came and she was like why did you say that i was like i don't know i don't know what i mean and i got in trouble obviously to teach me to not say the word but i didn't learn because i think it was just after that um i had i think we've talked about it before there was a competition that if you entered at milky, sent you a blank cassette tape. Did they? Yeah, to do with whatever you wanted. So I had Milky Bar and I always remember that was the tape that I would put into my little radio and press record and I would record myself saying swear words. So it was just you and be like, this is Vaughan Smith.

Yeah, and then, you dumb bastard. And it was literally like that. And then, you dumb bastard. And it was literally like that. And then would you listen back to it? Like very quietly with headphones. Yeah. I was swearing. Like a CIA. A bit of a thrill.

And then I'd take the tape out and I'd bury it right at the bottom of this junk drawer I had. Yeah. And then one day I came in from outside and my parents were like We need to have a word Oh no And my brother had found the tape And played it And heard it And he went straight to mum and dad

And he's like You gotta listen I go your brother is such a narc Full narc Yeah And I got in so much trouble Oh my god So like months and months and months

Of not being able to do anything And any time I was like Can I do this They're like nope Because of the tape I'd be like okay And now look at you A potty mouth heathen.

Yes. Huge heathen. It's so funny. I remember the rumble in my tummy and I decided to say a naughty word rather than a normal word. And mine was piss. And I remember being in Eastbourne outside on the street and mum's saying, we've got to get home because your brother's

having friends over. And I remember being like, say it. And I was like, before we go home though, I need to piss. And my mum being like, excuse me. And doing that thing where she gripped your hand so tightly. I was thinking you used it in like the correct context, but just a slightly more. Yeah, I didn't tell her to like pee off or anything.

I thought you were going to be like, we need to get home. No, no, I'm going to be like, piss off. I thought you were going to be like, we need to get home and you were going to be like... Piss off. Consciously, instead of saying I need to go to the bathroom, you're being like, sure, but I need to piss. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Today's, this week's fact of the day is called Super Sense Week.

Super Sense. That's what I'm calling this week's fact of the day theme Super sense Because yesterday me and my mate Jake were having lunch And it was like quiet And then I Because we're two people we can sit in quiet It might surprise people about me But I quite like sitting in quiet Even if other people are there

I think it's a mark of when you've kind of like met a good friend As you can both sit there and it's not an awkward silence We were just eating and then I said to him Out of the blue If you could have any animal sense, which would it be? A great question. Like how dogs can sniff really well.

Yeah, dogs can smell really well. Cats can see in the dark. I thought like a bird of prey's vision would be really good. You know how they talk about how like hawks and eagles and stuff can zoom? Effectively, they've got their own built-in binoculars. Yeah, they pinch their eyeballs and they go,

they zoom and they drag out. I'd have a built-in metal detector. No, that's not a sense. It could be touch. What animal? This is the question. No, it's how would you find a built-in metal detector? It's how would you find the metal?

What sense would you use? You'd sniff it. You'd sniff it out. Oh, smell it. Okay, I'd have sensing murder murder then You can't have sensing murder He's misunderstood the environment here What animal's got sensing murder Cats

Don't they come and sit on your lap Before you die Yeah those dogs Those corpse dogs No they can smell it They smell dead people They smell it You're already dead

They smell the dead It's not sensing murder They can smell Are there some dogs That can like smell Genetic disorders I'd be an airport beagle Or smell panic attacks coming

They smell the release of the hormones That mean you're going to have a panic attack God my dog would be exhausted Oh god he'd be sick of it too Calm down woman What are you worried about I'm just going to let her have this one I might get a bloody afternoon off if she, you know,

takes herself off to bed. So, yeah, I said bird of prey eyes. Okay. I thought that'd be pretty cool. Okay. So then I thought, that's pretty cool to talk about all week. So it's Super Sense Week. Yeah, okay.

Where each day we will be covering one sense. There are five. And who rules at it. I know, kind of perfect, right? It is perfect. And who rules at it in the animal kingdom. Okay. So today we're talking about smell, the sense of smell,

your ability to smell things. Any guesses on the world's, what is deemed to be the strongest sense of smell in the animal kingdom? Is it a dog? Shark. They smell the blood. Shark's pretty good. Dogs are like sort of generally...

Well, that's their job. Yeah, that's their job, sniffing. I'll just get to it, shall I? Yeah, go. The African elephant has the strongest sense of smell in the animal kingdom. No, what does it smell? It can smell water. Oh, yeah.

Oh. It can smell water and water that it can drink, by the way. That was going to be my question. Like, what if it's, he's like 100 k's over this way, gets there and it's just someone's like pump bottle. Yeah, they've left a pump bottle in the desert. Yeah. Oh, as long as there's some in there.

Well, it's embarrassing for him, isn't it? Yeah. He's gone all that way for a bottle of water. For a little bit. Yeah. So they can smell water sources from 19.2 kilometres away. 19.2? Can. 19.2? Can we just say 19?

Well, they said 12 miles, but I did the translation. Right. We can say 19. 19.2. I'd like to round it up to 19.5 kilometres. But that's not it. It's not close. It was 19.25.

Yeah. Let's go 19. Okay. Yeah. We'll get 19 kilometres. I'm almost like, can't we just do 20? Because that feels way better mathematically. So they have, scientists have studied the genetic makeup of an elephant

and apparently have around 2,000 genes associated to smell alone. That's more pairs than you. Yeah. Five times as many as humans. Five times as many as humans and twice as many as dogs. Wow. And their genetic makeup To be able to smell

It would be a little bit awkward To have a drug or cash Or fruit sniffing elephant At the airport though I think it would be cute God It would really hold things up Because they move slow

Imagine the pandemonium Sir if you could just open your bag And you open your bag And the snout just goes This trunk just goes Then it goes If you've got drugs Yeah he sits.

The elephant sits down when he finds cocaine. Yes. Yeah. Or it just comes out white and the elephant's just like. Let's keep going. Let's go to town. Let's find some more. Now, can I just get you to block your ears, please, Hayley?

Oh, yuck. Also worth a mention is the male silk moth. Yeah. It doesn't technically have a nose, but it has an antennae that is optimised for odour detection. Right. It can smell one single pheromone scent particle from a female more than seven miles away.

Oh, that's bad news for you, Hayley. I know you've blocked your ears and you don't like the word moth. Can I come back? Yeah. They've got antennae. Ah, I know. And they can smell your pheromones. Do you know that they can smell your pheromones?

I know, that's why I douse myself in perfume. Yeah. To keep them away. And the Kiwi gets a mention for being a bird with a fantastic sense of smell. We talked about that last week in Native Bird Week. The nostrils at the end of the nose, they show them in the ground and they can smell like the bugs around them and where they need to get them. Good stuff. So, yeah, then there's the dogs and they can smell like the bugs around them and where they need to get them. Good stuff.

So, yeah, then there's the dogs and stuff, but we all know how great dogs are. They don't need any more props. Who am I kidding? Good boy. Yeah, he's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's a good boy.

He's a good boy. Okay, so today's fact of the day is the animal with the best sense of smell for Super Sense Week, smell, tick, done, is the African elephant. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. The impossible phone-in topic, a topic that we think is so impossible, will be lucky to get a call. Yes. Now, I was reading an article about Timberland,

the music producer, rapper, DJ And he revealed that in 1986, so a very long time ago Yeah He was working at Red Lobster and a co-worker pulled out a gun to show him the gun Yeah The gun went off, grazed Timberland on his neck, and it went in at like an angle, like it didn't go like

through the neck, it kind of went through that way, like grazed the outside of the neck. The bullet, it went through a nerve, made his arm dead, instantly. He had to do all this physiotherapy to get it going again, but they didn't remove the bullet. So the bullet's still in there. He had to do all this physiotherapy to get it going again

but they didn't remove the bullet. So the bullet's still in there. He's like, I've got that lodged in me for about 40 years or like four decades. I would have thought a bullet would have gone through a neck. I know, but it didn't go like all the way. It's sort of, yeah, I don't know. It's lodged in him.

He said, that bullet is still in me. He's got some scars there and whatnot. Would that beep in an airport? You would think so. Surely. Yeah. I can't believe someone brought out a gun to show him the gun, and the gun just went off.

America. I know, that could have just gone through your face. America, yeah. Anyway, it got me thinking, because you hear these stories about people that have had bullets in them and whatnot or things stuck in there. My impossible phone idea is do you have something lodged in you that shouldn't be there? Now, I am going to discount the likes of your IUDs or your breast implants or your, you know, if you've got a metal rod, steel plates and whatnot.

What about just a splinter that you haven't been able to get out over the weekend? Sure. I mean, hopefully more long term than yesterday. got a splinter and it's still in me. Hot soak on and a bit of a squeeze and you'll be all right. Get in the spa. No, no, no. I don't have a splinter. I was just using it as a temporary sort of example of having something close inside you.

You gave Hayley and I a look like you were in pain. I sold it. I really sold it. I did well. But you know, you hear people getting bloody dental bits and bobs lodged in their gums for years. People that had an operation and they leave the scissors inside.

Leave the scissors inside or maybe something went through your leg and it was better to just keep it in there. Will we be accepting calls from people that had something for a period of time lodged in them? Yeah, but they've got it removed. Yeah, that's fine.

I'll accept your past traumas. Your past, okay, past stories. 0800-DARLS at MSN number for the impossible phone and topic. Give us a call now. Text through 9696. Do you have something stuck or lodged inside of you that shouldn't be there? 11 minutes away from 9, the impossible phone and topic. Yeah.

Have you got something lodged in you that shouldn't be there? A foreign object of sorts. Because Timberland, the music producer, said he's still got a bullet in his neck from an accidental shooting where his friend was just trying to shove his gun. When did you say, like, 86 or something? 86.

1986. Jeez. Okay. I know. Timberland's bullet is so much older than a lot of people listening. Older than me. Yeah. Amazing.

Jess, this was your mum. What does your mum have lodged in her? Yeah, my mum has an over 30-year-old splinter in her hand. Why does she get it out? Yeah, no, we can't get it out. It's in, like, the bottom of the inside of her thumb, if you can visualise that. Oh, wow. So over 30 years ago, she was cleaning out a fireplace

and, like, put her hand down and felt this thing, whatever it is, go in her hand, and she believes it's a sliver of glass or metal. Yeah. Oh, my God. Sorry, that's my toddler. Yeah, hang on. I'm on the radio.

I'm on the phone. It's a truck. I see the truck. Oh, it is a toddler. Yeah, hang on. I'm on the radio. I'm on the phone. There's a truck. I see the truck. Oh, there's a truck. That's good. Wait, wait, wait. I want to hear more about this truck. No, we're not talking about the truck.

We're talking about the month's tractor. Green to green stock truck. Yeah. Has it got cows in it or is it empty? Yes. Yep. Stock in there, yeah. Yeah, they're on the way to the slaughterhouse.

Are you talking to your kid? There's next month's mince right there. Let's go. We can go well into details. Can you mum still feel the splinter? Yeah, so you can squeeze either side of it and it's like this little hard bit that like moves around in the morning. Every now and then you can squeeze it and it

squeezes out like that silly string kind of white pimply stuff. Oh no, she needs to get that removed.es out like that silly string kind of white, simply dust. Oh, no, she needs to get that removed. That's like a little ongoing infection. Oh, it's great fun. I'm seriously cleaning it out. There's no pain, no inflammation. It's not actually infected.

It's just this, like, skin. The white blood cells have been put around it to protect the body, though, right? And she remembers 25 years ago, me being in hospital as a kid and entertaining me with this thing in her thumb when I was in hospital as an eight-year-old. So, yeah, she's just got it.

It's great fun. It's good fun for us. We're like tickers. Yeah, like a party trick. How bizarre. Jess, thank you so much. Mal, this is your brother. What does he have lodged inside him?

So, he had hip surgery years ago because he was a rower. Yeah. And he got it all done and he was very dramatic about it and he kept saying it was really sore for years and we all kind of rolled our eyes. Yeah.

Get over it. Didn't really believe him. And then finally, he was in Melbourne, he came back to New Zealand and he said, I'm getting a surgeon to have a look at this. The surgeon opened him

and pulled out this fishing wire, like a metre of stuff. Sorry? Like it was like this. You can imagine, right, the wire used to catch fish. It was kind of all lodged in his hip and it was a good metre. He's still got it in a jar in his room now. How do you sew it up?

How do you sew it up and not see this fishing wire? I know. It's pretty busy in there. Yeah, he'd been walking around with this, grinding around in his hips for years, and we were telling him to harden up. So was it metal or was it like nylon, like fishing nylon? No, it was sort of like a nylon,

because apparently it's very strong, and they quite often use stuff like that to tie bits and pieces together in there. But there you go. I know. And he was right, and we were wrong, so we're never living that one down. Yeah, no. there. But there you go. I know. And he was right and we were wrong. So we're never leaving that one down. Yeah, no.

No. I told you. Mel, thank you. Keep your texts coming in. 9696. Not impossible. 0800 dials at M. Yeah, some grim ones.

Oh, we can just do a quick, like, I've got so many amazing text messages coming in. The impossible phone-in topic. Have you got something lodged inside of you? We're all just walking around like rattling cans, aren't we? Yeah. Everyone's got something just rattling around. So many calls and messages. Paul, your daughter.

What? This was your daughter. What happened? Yeah, so she got her ears pierced when she was about nine years old. I was nine years old when I was allowed to get mine pierced. That was the age. I had to wait till. Good age.

Yeah. Good age. Great age for poking holes in your body. Two months later, it was time enough that she could get some new earrings, some different ones. And she was saying at her nana's at the time, and they together put these new earrings in, and no one thought any different of it. And about five months after that, she started complaining of a bit of a sore ear,

and it looked a bit red. So we took the earring out, and it was just blood and pus everywhere on the hole and then it was something like brown like on the back of her earlobe like inside the earlobe and so I grabbed some tweezers

and I tapped it and it was hard kind of like metallic I was like oh that, that's interesting. So I had a bit of a fish around and she's obviously not really enjoying it at all. And I pulled out a second butterfly clip. And so these earrings, within five months previously, was a butterfly clip already on them.

And then a new butterfly clip over top, which had just mushed the butterfly stuff into the floor. It had gone inside the air. How did she not feel when it was happening? It was literally in the middle of the yellow.

How did it slip in there? Oh, that's disgusting. That's really funny. That's so weird. You're a brave man for fishing back there. It was a good bit of fun. Yeah, I don't know.

I would just be like, this is how you live now. He's got that lodged new horn. Paul, thank you. Some messages in. We're talking about when you've got something inside you that shouldn't be there. My husband had a lump on the side of his knee. He said it had been there for ages. One night we got drunk and I was like, I'm going to cut into it.

Yeah. Okay, you shouldn't do that. No, but if you're going to do it, you know. A human tooth came out. What? No. A human tooth came out. How did it get out?

Of the lump on his knee. Had he banged someone's face with his knee? Like been in a fight? Or maybe he grew an extra one. Maybe his twin is in there. That could be. They always find other things in when it's the ingested twin though. They should cut in a bit more and see if there's another twin in there. That could be. They always find other things in when it's the ingested twin though. They should cut in a bit more and see if there's another twin in there.

Yeah, hair. My husband got shot in the leg with a slug gun when he was a kid. And the calf muscle by his brother had a full body scan at 25 years old in hospital and it was still in there. Jeez. My brother stabbed me with a pencil in 1999 and you can still see the graphite in my arm. Stabbed me with a pencil? The lead of the pencil. I have a BB bullet in my forehead.

It's been there for 30 years. You can still touch it and feel it. Ow, BB guns hurt. I have a rose thorn in my finger from childhood. It just lives in there now. My wife has glass lodged in her leg from being hit by a car when she was 13. She's 32 now and the glass is still in there

Somebody else said the same thing They were in a car crash when they were younger And they went through the windscreen And the glass is still just working its way to the surface And they'll just like touch their face And feel something sharp It's safety glass Old cars didn't have that

God there's so many messages My cousin has a porcelain doll's thumb stuck in her eyebrow from when she was a kid. So those little wee porcelain dolls, a little wee thumb must have like fallen on it or been playing with it or been whacked with it and it went in and never came out. I feel gross. I feel sick, eh? I went for an MRI once and they said, sorry, it can't be completed due to the metal that you've got in your head.

And my mother was like, I beg your pardon? And I was like, what? And they're like, yeah, you've got metal in your head. I've got this mysterious metal in my head that no one can explain how it got in there. Oh, you can't really open up the head, can you? I suppose you can't. Yeah, it's not an easy place to open up. It depends.

There's on the inside or the outside of the hard bit. Oh, it's on the outside. Surely you can't get it out. My brother has half a needle in his finger from when we were changing the thread on mum's sewing machine and I stood on the pedal to see what it did and it just went into his finger and snapped off. Oh my God, what about this one? My great-grandfather fought in the Battle of the Sommon World War I. He's got half a grenade lodged in his body.

It went off near him and it lodged near his heart. He was cleared for fighting again. After that happened, send the man home. He gets to go home. And after he went over the top again, he had his right arm blown off. But he lived the rest of his life with half a grenade lodged in his body. He's a tough old mate.

What an old mate. I don't make him like that anymore. They don't. Nah, they really don't. Because I'd be like, we're in the trench, go up over the top, I'd say. Absolutely not. You go up. What? Did you just say run it don't want a dumb approach

see ya see ya later actually I'm going to have to stop you there that's copyrighted Susie Kato's a very good friend of mine she's already sued me twice

so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action that would be great tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast

and then she tells all her friends and if you're listening maybe review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast. Yeah. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well.