ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 13th October 2023

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

Attractive Accents  Silly Little Poll!  Top 6: Signs of a Fake Doctor  Duck Crash  Final Rankings!  The PS5 has backfired!  The Impossible Phoner!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fleshforn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fleshforn and Hayley. Happy Friday. Hello, hello. Election Eve. Yes, indeed.

It's the election eve. I haven't voted yet, but you know I'm going to. I might do it today, actually. I know, I've already voted. I voted at the weekend, Sunday. There was no one there. Got straight in, straight out. You're going to be in a line.

Because you're going to do a special vote, right? You did a special vote. Vaughan, don't you have to do a special vote? No, no, no. I'm doing a standard, bog standard vote. I'm one of the common men. There's been an argument over where you're going to vote. Well, yeah, because the girls' school is doing a voting poll this year.

Great, perfect. And Shardie said, let's go there. I said, no, but we go there every day. This is our chance to go into a building or an area that we don't usually go into for a little bit of a nosy. It's not a bloody huge event. You're such a nosy prick. No, it's awesome. You go somewhere where you're like, I wonder what it's like in there.

The best is where there's a community hall that's never open. Apart from like midweek, some local lady runs like a 6am Zumba class in there or something. Oh yeah, I love a Zumba. Or a Tai Chi. Yeah, it doesn't get used.

And so you get to go and have a bit of a look. And then you get to see who from the area died in World War I, World War II, maybe there was a Vietnam contribution.

They smell those halls. I love the smell of them. I love the smell of a. I love the smell of a musty rural hall. Smells like old tea bags and a Pyrex glass. Yeah, yeah, and a

zip on the wall that's been a bit leaky. Yeah. You've got to turn the zip off when you leave, otherwise a bloody pebble will

be through the roof. No matter where you vote, vote. Yeah. The top six coming up on the show is Fake Doctor. Wild.

A woman has been charged because for a few years she was posing as a doctor online. Now, she wasn't seeing patients, but she was giving out medical advice. She's not a doctor. She would dress up like a doctor for photos and put them on the gram. Oh, my God. Her handle had medical references in it. She was not at all qualified. That is wild.

So she's being charged as like impersonating a professional. Is this in Australia? Yes. She's hot though. Oh, we'll forgive her slightly. Yeah. Well, I mean,

she's going to get off the hook. Yeah. She'll tell us a hot, sad story about why she did it and we'll all be like, oh, that's okay because you're hot. But I've got the top six signs

she was a fake doctor all along. Also, coming up on the show. We need to talk about accents. There's been a study looking into the most attractive and least attractive accents. Are we on the list?

I'll try and do it. We're on another list. It's not on an attractive list. We don't make it onto that. We did win one year. Remember that? We came second as... We never won

if the Americans do the study, but if the Brits do the study, we're always like, all right up there. I thought the Americans loved us.

They can't tell the difference between us and Australia. They think we're Australian. They're dumb, aren't they? They really are. Next on the show, bad news if you're awake listening at this time.

Maybe you're finishing night shift or you're an early riser. Starting with bad news. Yeah, I know. Oh, for God's sake. Yeah. With the music, she was like, I don't care about music.

I actually just made this up because this is what you wanted. And then she releases a song this great, and you're like, but this is really good. I like this a lot. I know you have. And then she releases a song, this great. And you're like, but this is really good. I like this a lot. I know you have. Massive fan. Now she doesn't like her own fans. Cause they were like,

we're going to call ourselves the kittens. Cause she's Doja Cat. She's like, you guys are lying. Yeah. Scientists have uncovered why night shift work and workers that wake up early, such as us or people listening now, why

they have changes in appetite. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah. Because you're up more, right? Yeah. So you've got to have four meals and then more snacks. I've been here for nearly two years and I've put on 16

kgs in that time. It's simply just I'm so hungry all the time. All the time. And then tired. And tired which makes you want carbs and bad food. So you might relate to this because scientists from Bristol and the University of

Occupational and Environmental Health in Japan they've got together and done a study. They sought to understand how circadian misalignment, so you know your circadian rhythm. Which is your natural sort of waking, sleeping cycle as a human being. Now, it's a phenomenon commonly associated with jet lag. And you'd all say, working these hours,

and people that work night shift, you do feel jet lag. Feels like jet lag. Like you've just come back from Europe, and you're not on the same time zone. Yeah, totally. And so it's prevalent in night shift workers. And so they, to summarise, basically people eat more.

Yeah. That's basically the gist of it. Because you have breakfast and then next breakfast and then snack breakfast and then four lunches. And so they looked at the daily food intake of people that wake up normal hours and night shift workers, and yeah, people do eat more. And it was a lot more. But it's so much more than just what you're eating as well because your sleep pattern impacts your hormones.

For someone with a hormonal disorder, I've been told so much about sleep. You've got to sleep and you can't do it like this and you've got to sleep this much at this time. And you're like, well, it's not possible. So for those that are working night shifts or working weird hours, they recommend you try and maintain daylight exposure, cardiovascular

exercise and meal times at regulated hours. Yeah, right. You sort of managed to do that, Vaughan, as an early riser. You don't eat like we eat at like five. Oh yeah, I have an apple on the way to work, but I'm absolutely starving

by nine o'clock. And I have got into a very bad habit of a treat after dinner. But see, at least like our hours are the same. I feel for like shift workers, like people, you know, firemen, ambulance, you know, pilots, ambulance you know pilots

one week it's early nurses yeah all over the show at least like you know we've got a regular schedule that you can kind of make work

but yeah when you don't know if one week you're working nights the next you're working days that's all over the show yeah totally well shout out

to our shift worker listeners who are probably just heading home happy to be part of the end of your day. Maybe feeling guilty about that pie and V on the front seat. Some things are more important. I wouldn't go V. I'd go pie, that's a pud.

Yeah, and you're about to hit the hay. But I wouldn't go a V because that's going to interrupt your sleep patterns. I'd get some nice blackout curtains and probably a sleep mask as well. Yeah. Air plugs, the whole shebang, you need your sleep. It's the way to go. 12 past six. Next, we're going to explore the most attractive accents.

I'll do my best. And giving theirs a go. Oh, okay. Using their acting degree. Exactly. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, you're right, this is a survey out of America and therefore we don't feature on the list

of top 10 most attractive accents. But is Australia on there? They sure are. I don't think they can tell the difference. No, they can't. Because I would say difference. You can't tell the difference. Whereas we would just naturally say you can't tell the difference.

And we wouldn't end the sentence with a yeah but. Yeah but. Yeah but. Yeah, we'd say yeah, nah. Anyway. So here's the list. They voted on a whole bunch of them. And I'll go most attractive accents first. Okay.

They've given the top eight. You don't do eight. You do five or you do ten. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry, everyone. I'm sorry. Yeah, all six. Now, have you got your thingy plugged in, Vaughn E?

I got my thingy plugged in. Can you Google, can you YouTube a Brummie accent? Brummie. Brummie. Brummie. What's a Brummie accent? Well, that's number eight on the list of the most attractive accents. It's from Birmingham.

Oh, Birmingham. Oh, okay. Cheeky blinders. Yeah, yeah. Cheeky blinders. Birmingham light. Yeah. I can't do it.

Why are you blarting? It's Boston in here. Hello, everyone. I'm a hip-hop artist. That's her. Right. Okay. So that's a little bit of her.

And then they've got number seven is Welsh, which is, oh, I can't do it. It's so songy. Welsh is a lovely accent. I tried to think about Lloyd Langford. Yes, that's her. It goes, oh, right. It's kind of got to bounce around a bit. Yeah. Like that. I love a lovely accent. I tried to think about Lloyd Langford. Yes, that's how it goes. It's kind of you've got to bounce around a bit. Yeah.

Like that. I love a Welsh accent. But for me, I don't know if it's attractive. It makes the undies drop. I couldn't say the P word. Number six on the list is Italiano. Oh, yeah. I thought you were doing Indian in the first two syllables there.

I'm going to give you a heads up so you feel safe. Indian's not on the list. Oh, yeah. I thought you were doing Indian in the first two syllables there. I'm going to give you a heads up so you feel safe. Indian's not on the list. Okay, great. Safe as in I should be doing an Indian accent. Italian is a sexy accent. Yeah. Buongiorno. I mean, a beautiful Italian man came up to you with olive tanned skin

and said buongiorno. You would bloody pop in the sack quite quickly. Number five on the list is for the French. The French people, it's the language of love, you know. Bonjour. Mm. know Bonjour It's not Oui ça va Doesn't do it for you You're saying

You're saying Ten out of ten Yeah but that's They're a ten out of ten French women are very abrupt They're very It's not To the point

It's not hanging at all On the accent What you're gonna say Is if a five Becomes an eight On the back of the accent Because of the accent Yeah Wow okay've got to say is if a five becomes an eight on the back of the accent. Because of the accent. Wow, okay.

Number four on the list, have we got Irish twiddly? Can do, can be cute, but there's also heaps of different Irish accents. Northern Irish is very different to... I would say Sharonan. Yeah, Irish. Do you know, for me, I went through a real period of time

before I met Aaron where if I went into a bar and a man had an Irish accent, that was off my wind. What if he was a minger? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. As long as he called me a sweetheart or something like that.

I follow on Instagram and he always wears a cheese cutter hat. He's Irish. And he makes things using old tools. Hot. Are you? He's like, today makes things using old tools. Hot. He's like, today I'm going to re-handle me axe. And you know what they say, if it ain't ash,

it ain't worth it. And then he'll go about making an axe handle. Yeah, it's pretty hot. Wow, you're just horny already. So that's fourth. Third, they've just got like London. Like just a London accent. And London has so many accents. Yes, so many.

Oh, it's such a multicultural melting pot, isn't it? And also class. Like where you sit in the class system changes your London accent. Are they thinking the posh and EastEnders? Yeah, maybe. Essex. Is it Essex? The only way is Essex.

Essex is like. No, that's not nice. But weren't they rich but a little bit trashy? I don't know. What's that school? Eton. Eton. That's the posh people.

Yes, Eton. Number two, Scottish. Oh, yeah. I love Scottish actually. Same thing. I mean, I've spent a lot of time in Scotland in my life. Love a Scottish lad. Especially the Glaswegian.

You can't even understand that. No, no. That's so funny. You just let him go. What's happening? Crazy soldier talking to me like that. Okay, number one. Number one is bloody Australia.

And I think we might be in this group. Yeah. Because, you know, I just reckon, mate, they don't even know. Oh, it's America. When I was in LA recently, everybody was like, oh, you're from Australia? Whenever I've been in America, the same thing. They're just like, oh, you're Australian. Yeah.

Now, ironically, of their least attractive accents, like the top five least attractive are American, basically. American Southern. Yeah. Like a real like Southern male. I find that it's a charming accent. But it can also be quite thick. Yeah, yeah.

And then fourth is Canadian. Really? Okay. Really friendly, yeah. Number third is American Midwestern, which is you're more like cowboy kind. I'm walking down the street here. Yeah.

Number two is Boston. And number one they say is the most least attractive accent is New York. New York, yeah. Hey! You're walking in! Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Today's Silly Little Pole. We asked you on Friday the 13th and also Halloween month.

Yes. Would you sleep at a haunted house? My answer was no. 100% my answer was yes. I rolled my eyes. I mean, it's more likely. I have seen a ghost. It's more likely that you should crack a window because you've got some carbon.

You've got some carbon dioxide poisoning. Monoxide or dioxide? Both. Both. Both. Well, minoxide, you'll fall asleep and possibly die, but dioxide takes a little bit longer. It'll make you see some things. It'll make you go a bit loopy.

A bit delusional. No. Would you sleep at a haunted house? Because people are sleeping at the house that The Conjuring apparently happened in. Oh, yeah, with the doll. The Conjuring started with the doll. There's like three Conjuring.

Is there three Conjuring? What's the one I'm seeing on the way to work? There's a billboard for the Exorcist reboot. Oh, right. Whatever it's doing. Yeah, the Conjuring's an American horror film. Family moves into a farmhouse where they experience a paranormal phenomenon. Phenomenon.

They consult some demonologists. That's what they do. Be a believer. Look, I wasn't a believer either. I don't really believe in it course they do. Be a believer. Look, I wasn't a believer either. I don't really believe in it, but I've seen a ghost. You drink way too much. I wasn't drunk on that night. Actually, I haven't had a drink since Saturday.

I'm so impressed. Crazy, eh? Just a quick check in though. How many drinks did you have on Saturday? 50 Gotcha Would you sleep in a haunted house? 17% said yes

83% said no way We drove past When we were in Wellington With some friends And we were driving And our friend Amanda's like That house is haunted Yeah

She's like, I used to live up here. That house is haunted. And then I looked at it and I was like, it's got a haunted house written all over it. We used to go ghost hunting as teenagers. We'd get in my dad's car and my boyfriend would drive and it would be me in the passenger seat,

our friends in the back. We'd drive all around the hut, lower hut, and go to these famous ghost houses. Did you find any? No, but we used to get real spooked. Yeah. Really, really scared. Josh says,

absolutely, based on no previous experience or reason to believe so, I think I'd thrive. He would thrive in a haunted house. That's where you want to thrive. That's a thriving environment. Brianna says, this is the girl who can't even stand next to mannequins and clothing shops because I think they're going to come alive.

So I'll pass. I don't think they're going to come alive but I always, I think they work there and I'm always like, hey, can you help me? And then I realise they're not real. You're talking to a mannequin because the titties are out. Yeah, totally. You're like, it's weird that this woman's got such white skin. But with nipples the other day.

Prominent nipples on a mannequin. And some of them have big bulges too. I'm like, packing big. Wow, they're packing big. Who are they selling to? Oh, they're selling undies. They've got to pack up the undies. Yeah. Kanga says, as in Spookers

or the Palmerston North Motel? I would just for the lols. It'll be a good story to tell if something actually happened. Wait, the Palmer... Is that where you saw the ghost? Yes. The Palmerston North

and the Motel? He's giving the two extremes there. Right. The haunted hotel room or Spookers yeah someone messaged in the other day

they used to live in the house in Spookers back in the day when it was like a known king seat did their family did like the grounds no it was after it was shut down

but there was still a house on that must have been looking after the property oh I don't know if I could do that so spooky. Imagine mowing the lawns. All the dead...

And just looking and seeing somebody watching you through the window. And there's no one there when you look back. Nikita says, I said yes while sitting in my non-haunted house feeling very brave. However, I've thought about it more since I clicked yes, and I would probably change my answer tonight. Yeah. That's the thing.

You get inside your own head, right? Yeah. No ghost is scarier than me when I've had a bad night's sleep. Ghosts beware, says Kat. Right, okay. So she's not scared. They should be scared of her. Karen says the ghosts might be friendly.

Let's not judge them. We don't know them. Yeah, that's true. As famously, haunted houses are always friendly experiences. Yeah. With a lot of Casper. Oh, anonymous, please. That's what they'll ask.

Okay. I work in a rest home as a nurse and sometimes do sleep over night shifts where I'll sleep in an empty room if they have one. My rule is if I can remember someone dying in there, I don't sleep in there. I'll take a mattress into the office instead. If the last person to vacate the room left it while alive, I'm good. Wow. When do you leave a rest home to go to?

You go to probably the care unit. Oh, you go to a more intense. Yeah, the hospital part. I'm not worried about dead spirits, says Nicole. Only the living can harm you. Yeah, good call. Very spiritual. Yeah.

Apart from, I mean, if you've seen The Exorcist, that little girl gets possessed, right? So that's the demon that's hurting her. Yeah. Yeah. Well, happy Friday the 13th. Yeah, yeah.

I'm watching a very silly AI video of some rock and roll star singing Baby One More Time. Made me giggle. Now, this is very, very interesting. There was a study from the UK, I believe, that asked 18 plus peoples their stances on marriage. And it's so interesting reading this because I don't even know why I want to get married. It's not for religious purposes for me. The legal part of it, I don't even care.

Because you've been with Aaron so long that you aren't practically married. Yeah, legally you're as good as married. Twelve and a half years. I don't know what it is. I don't know. I can't even tell you why. It's just the hetero norms that are forced on you by society. I think it is.

I think I want to feel owned by a man. I think I want to be someone's wife and I want to be owned by my husband. And you've always dreamed of being a princess. And I've always wanted to wear a princess gown. Anyway, well, according to this study, only 36% of people serve it. I said it yesterday, I feel like you're

attacking my Christian values. Oh, sorry. Sorry. We did have a meeting about it after work, how we need to lay off of fawns. Yeah, I don't attack your religions. Because we don't have one. Not on air. Behind the scenes.

Fervent. Yeah. Fervently religious, these two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We like to keep a neutral, on-air persona. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then pop off to church. Now, according to this...

Fletchers is temple, technically, but carry on. Well, no, I go to my church and I make little Weet-Bix bricks. Yeah, that's right. And then we sell them and all the profit goes to the church because we don't pay tax. Wink.

Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink.

Wink. Now, the stat I want to share with you is that only 36% of people believe unconditionally that marriage is meant to be for life. Like, meaning that, like, people will get married, but only a third of people think that getting married actually means your intention is to be together until the day you die. That's, to me, that's insane. Like, don't get married. It me, that's insane. Because why are you doing it? Don't get married. It's so expensive. Yeah.

I know people that have been married that even when they were engaged and they were planning their wedding and they got married, they knew that it wasn't really for them. So this person. That's bananas. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bananas. Why be with someone? Someone shared this as part of this article.

Natalie Clark, when she was walking down the aisle knew that this probably wasn't going to be forever. What are you doing? I don't know, but then I'm like I get it. You can love someone really hard for a time and know that it's not forever and maybe still want to have a party to celebrate

the love. I don't know. Not saying I feel like that. I cannot be bothered. I've found the one. Because, good lord, we're just, the houses. Yeah. You're bogged down with admin. Exactly, just like Vaughan. And I love him.

Sorry, that felt like that was a side thought. You love me? No. Wow. Well, why would you say no? I don't know, maybe one day. As a friend? As a friend. Until I'm in love with you. No, but so 36% of people were just like, yeah, yeah, definitely. Like the intention is to be together forever.

51% of women said that they believe that while marriage is meant to be for a lifelong commitment, this usually isn't practical. Okay. Among those age 18 to 24 Young people 50% no longer believe a lifelong union Is even realistic

I mean we talked about monogamous relationships yesterday That's a Realistic view on things Well statistically they're not wrong Yeah totally The majority of marriages end in divorce now At least people getting married In New Zealand

It's actually really interesting. The younger people were definitely like cooling off on the idea of marriage. Putting it off, yeah. A third of 24 to 34-year-olds say they don't believe marriage is even relevant today. The number of marriages and the marriage rate has dropped in New Zealand. This was from 2022. New Zealand residents registered 15,657 marriages in civil unions in the year to December 2021, down from 16,779 from 2020.

Well, lucky they let the gays marry because we've got a couple of those coming up, haven't we? Yeah. So 52% of female divorcees said they had led the decision to divorce. Like they'd been the one to drive it. 61% of divorcees would not consider tying the knot again, rising to 67% in men. So you've done it once, you're like, eh.

And having divorced parents is more likely to make you weary of marriage and inspire you to leave your marriage. I mean, I get it, man. It's just a day, isn't it, though? And a lot of money. My sister has messaged me. Oh, yeah? She's been through, she's had a...

A marriage. A marriage and a wedding. She's had a very expensive party. A very expensive party. Very expensive. You might as well just have a party. Yeah. Have multiple parties.

At least then the venue people won't double charge you or charge you extra because it's a wedding. You don't have the term weeding in front of it. You just have it in the local pub. Oh, yeah. Sounds good. Amazing. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the bustling ZM think tank, this is the top six. Australian woman Dahlia Karizi has had to pay more than $13,000 after a magistrate said her offences were extensive, prolific and pervasive. She pretended to be a medical professional on TikTok.

You can't do that. When you're on Instagram and the talk and there's a doctor there dishing out advice, you don't know they're a doctor. Oh yes, because it's different to I guess being in a hospital And taking patients and stuff But it's not She made videos

On topics including Paracetamol toxicity HIV Ovarian cancer Fibroids Testosterone And foods people should feed their toddlers Some of her posts

Attracted 15 and a half million views And one and a half million likes Oh wow That is unbelievable. She made posts on Instagram and applied for jobs while claiming to have a medical degree and sent a number of emails in which she suggested she had medical qualifications.

None. None whatsoever. How did they get her? Because to me, can anybody just go online and pretend to be a doctor? Yeah, of course we could. She would post pictures in scrubs. There's one here which is on a balcony,

which obviously was made to look like she was on break at the hospital. Oh, for God's sake. Three things I love in the photo. The lovely sunset sky, my comfy scrubs, and my nail polish from blah, blah, blah. She's got a stethoscope around. And they are like medical scrubs. She was misled people.

Did nobody say, I know that girl. She's not a doctor? Like, is that how she... I don't know how it eventually came out, but... And what did they get her on? Do you know what, like, what law she actually broke? Well, just...

Is there a law about pretending to be a doctor? Pretending to be... Pretending to be a policeman or something. Yeah. Posing as a bloody medical professional. She was giving people advice. Right. And that's what broke the law.

On very serious matters. Yeah, that's the dangerous bit. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And apparently it just like snowballed. Like someone just said to one day, oh, so you're a doctor. Because she'd studied like first year health science and then stopped.

Right. And she was like, yes. Like even. Oh wait, so she'd started to study to be a doctor, but couldn't hack the bloody seven years. Well, she might not have even got in. Because you do the first year and then if you don't get in. Oh, yeah, of course, yeah. The defense lawyer said she had been studying a bachelor's degree

in health science, met a person who believed she was studying medicine, not just first year health science, which leads into medicine. And she didn't correct them. And then that just roll, roll, rolled. And eventually got like, she was telling people she was like a specialist with gynecology.

Oh no. The lie just snowballed and got out of control. Sounds like she needs some help. Top six signs she was never a doctor. Number six, she asked the patient where they thought their heart was. And then when they pointed at the heart, she was like,

yeah, I thought so. That was just a test. Which side is it on? Left. It's there? Left mostly, but there are the odd case of it being on the right. But you're left-handed, so you're on the right. So mine would be on the right. Yeah, that's how it works.

Yeah. The top six signs she was a fake doctor all along. Number five, her stethoscope was a Fisher-Price My First Doctor's Kit. You could tell it was like red and blue and green and stuff. She upgraded from the Doc McStuffins Disney Junior one. Number four on the list of the top six signs she was a fake doctor all along. When she asked who was her favourite doctor, like who influenced her to become a doctor,

she said Dr. Dre. Not actually a doctor. One of my favourite doctors, though. Number three on the list. Doctor of fat beats. Of the top six signs. She was a fake doctor all along. She spewed when a patient spewed

and passed out when she saw blood. Yeah. You can't do that if you're a doctor. And she said, ooh, icky, ooh, ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Number two on the list of the top six signs

she was a fake doctor all along. She thought the ambulance was an Uber for doctors. So she'd get in the back and be like, I'm just heading home. Yeah, via the bar though. I'll have a drink here. Yeah, give me a couple of whoop. Is this nice for everybody? And number one on the list of the top six signs she was a fake

doctor all along. Didn't have sex with a single nurse. Not a single one. Dead giveaway. Dead giveaway. You have to. That's the biggest. Yeah. Isn't that all of second year is what you do is learn to do that? I think so.

How to sexually satisfy your hospital co-workers. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Bam. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley's Who Dat Girl. Anonymous is on the line. Good morning Anonymous. on the line. Good morning, Anonymous. You are that girl.

I am that girl. What are you doing? Where are you at? What's happening here? You're very good. I'm running into a meeting room. Wait, so you're at work already? Yeah, I am.

I am. I am. What kind of work? 7 to 3.30, baby. What do you do for work? I work at a fertilizer company in the mountains. Oh. Oh. Can I have some? What do you do for work? I work at a fertiliser company in the mountains. Oh. Oh.

Can I have some? What have you got? Can I have some? Because my grass isn't growing. Yes, I literally can. I've messaged you on Instagram. I'm like, great grass, lots of earthworms. You know, it's...

Oh, you know, I'm a natural guy, but if the grass... My grass really hasn't popped off in spring. We can talk about this later. My lawn's growing like mad, but my paddocks aren't. It's been so wet. Can I just mention, we're doing a bake-off today, and I made the best scoff lolly loff. Oh, my God.

Love that. It is going to rock your world. Have you called the show before? Yes, I have. Oh, you have. It wasn't a long-time caller. Long-time caller. We don't do the bell for that. Now, we're going to play you have. Long time caller. Long time caller. Oh, right.

We don't do the bell for that. Now, we're going to play Who Dat Girl. We don't know your name, anonymous, but Vaughn will ask you a few questions about yourself and then have 60 seconds

to try and guess your name. If he can do that. Great energy. I'm already out. I'm loving this. I'm scribbling down some names. VIP tickets up for grabs to Fridays live.

Vaughn, first question. How old are you? I'm 24. 24, okay. Well, that's why she's full of life. The world hasn't worn her down yet. Yeah, God, 24. I was thriving. So what, 99 or 98? Yeah,

99. Just made it in to the 90s. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, and what are your Friday plans like after work? Oh, we've got our leaving drinks tonight. And then I'm going out for dinner with my boyfriend. Oh, lovely.

Is someone leaving work? But are you coming in hot to the boyfriend dinner though? You'll be coming in hot. Oh yeah, like well-oiled. That's classic. God, that's you'd be coming in hot. Oh yeah, like well-oiled. That's classic. God, that's classic me coming in too hot. Yeah. Is it just you and the boyfriend? Or is it a group of you?

Oh, bloody, my friend was like oh, we're in a thruffle, right? Like, I can come as well. I'm like, nah, nah, you can't come. Oh, you bring him. Thruffles are hot. We talked about thruffling yesterday. Yeah, yesterday. Because have you ever done that where you're meeting up with one person later on for dinner and you come in and you're just trying to keep it together

but you are a little steamed and you're like ready for... Yes. A thousand times I've done that, Vaughn. It's called sprouling it. All right, I'm ready. You're ready. Okay, Vaughn now has 60 seconds to try and guess your name.

If you hear your name yell out, stop, that's my name. Here we go. Go. Brittany Taylor, Zoe name, yell out, stop, that's my name. Here we go. Go. Brittany Taylor, Zoe Page, Maddie Aller, Lucy Grace, Georgia, Ashley. Which one? Grace. I'm going with Grace.

Too easy. Who dat girl? It's Grace. It's Grace. Who dat girl? Who dat girl? It's Grace. Dat girl Grace.

You did it. Congratulations, Grace. You have won a double VIP pass to Friday's Live. Congratulations. We'll see you there, Grace. Come and make yourself known. November 16, no fertiliser. You've got to leave your fertiliser at home.

They don't let you bring in fertilisers. Spark Arena. I'll take it off your hand. Jason, the Rollie Boys to Me, and Flo, Ryder, Kelly, Roland, Jojo, Travian McCoy, Baby Bash and more. Those tickets are on sale now. ZM Online with all the details. Congratulations, Grace.

Yay, I'm so excited. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Well, I had a childhood memory. You'd say a trauma. We've talked about this on the show before, Vaughn, haven't we? Can I go on record and say I think it's very brave of you to revisit this? For entertainment purposes. What's really my mum that

will... Well, she put you through this. She did. What happened? Well, yesterday police in Dunedin responded to an accident involving several cars on the Dunedin motorway. You know that cute motorway they have that's like... On the way to the airport? Yeah.

And they're like, motorway, and then they're like, motorway ends. Oh You know that cute motorway they have that's like... On the way to the airport. Yeah. To Moscow. And they're like, motorway, and then they're like, motorway ends. Oh, yeah, like, motorway, up the hill. We had one of those in New Plymouth, too. It was like, start a motorway, and then 500 metres later, it was like, end of motorway. But we had a motorway. You had a little motorway.

We had a motorway. Was the plan that that was the start of greater things to come? I think so, but it just hasn't happened. Okay, that's fine. But so police responded to a crash involving multiple cars on the Dunedin motorway, the southern motorway, at it just hasn't happened. Okay, that's fine. So police responded to a crash involving multiple cars on the Dunedin Motorway, the Southern Motorway, at 11 o'clock yesterday. A driver has attempted to avoid hitting a duck

and its ducklings, 10 ducklings. But in doing so, hit two cars. Two cars had to be towed from the scene. Luckily, nobody was hurt. Oh, thank God. The ducks are fine. Oh, so no one. The ducks are fine and the humans are fine. But the cars aren't. Two cars had to be towed, which means they couldn't be driven

away from the scene. Who cares? And they're very lucky that they weren't hurt. And Vaughn knows the story. My mum ploughed through some ducks. Ducklings. I know. On the way to Nelson. On the way to Rabbit Island, these ducks. Little yellow ones. She was taking the kids out to the hottest gay cruising spot

in the Upper South. Rabbit Island's great beach, Vaughan. Oh, she loves that. Great for cruising. Well, why not? You know, exposure to different cultures. Very important. And on the way through, just ploughed through a bunch of ducks.

We were just innocent kids wanting to build a sandcastle and go play on the beach and find some pine cones. This makes so much sense. And the ducks wandered across and mum just ploughed through them. They died. When we were learning to drive on country roads, the rule was you don't swerve for animals. I know.

My parents telling me this, you never swerve for animals, but I swerve for ether. You plough through them. No, you plough through them. Well, no, but you plough through them, but only if they're ploughable. I'll swerve through it for birds. Don't plough through a. No, you plough through them. Well, no, but you plough through them, but only if they're ploughable. I'll swerve through for birds. Don't plough through a horse. Don't plough through a cow.

You're not beating that. My mum told me don't stop. Boof. Don't go on the wrong side of the road to avoid an animal. No, you shouldn't swerve, because then people have died like... 100%. ...swerving to avoid like rabbits or possums.

It's like, no. And they're both 10 points each. So you want to take them out like fair and square. I've never hit an animal. I've stunned a bird. You know, a bird sort of going. Yeah. And being like.

But I've never hit an animal. I don't want to hear the. You don't like a puff of feathers out the back window? Mum has messaged on WhatsApp claiming that she braked and only hit the last one and then used the duck emoji. That's good of her. So she's saying only one duck. She's using the emoji.

I remember several ducklings. We have to choose to believe her. We have to choose to believe her. When you're a kid, you do tend to remember things on the slightly more dramatic side of things. The whole, all of them died. My mum slaughtered 12 ducks. Yeah, yeah.

But no, it's the right thing to do. I mean, this is what happens when you swim. Someone could have literally died yesterday because of 10 ducks. Yeah. Ever hit something and it's been dark and you just hear that and you're like, oh, and then you stop and you look. Not nothing there.

No, that's when you're reading the paper next day that someone... Yeah, someone hit his grandma. Yeah, someone's nana was out for an evening stroll. It's important to get fitness at any age, but goddamn, wear some reflective stripes. I hate when you see people walking on the side of the road. You scooter and it's all welded and city streets.

That's dark. Yeah. Have you ever come across a cyclist or someone walking on the way to work? It scares the hell out of me. Why are they not lit up like a Christmas tree. Yeah. Have you ever come across like a cyclist or someone walking on the way to work? It scares the hell out of me. Why are they not like lit up like a Christmas tree? Yeah. I remember when I bought my first bike and I was like, I'm going to become a cyclist. And Aaron bought me a high vis and a head torch and a this light.

And he was like, you're not getting on that bike unless you're basically. You've got to be a beacon. Play ZM's Fletch Von Anele. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Ailey. Play ZM. It's the final rankings. We do this every Friday. We rank our favourite things. Normally it's food.

Today, holes. Body holes. Body holes. And then there's two types of holes in the body. Blind holes. That is where the holes have an end So you think of like a cup Yep

A hole at the top This is a blind hole Because at the other end there's an end Well it's like a cul-de-sac It's a no entry Correct Through holes are like a donut or a straw It's a hole that goes from one end to the other

Would the mouth be one of those? There are billions of blind holes all in the body Sweat pores, ear holes, navel, urethra, vagina are blind holes that have an end. Five through holes. Two nostrils, two eyes, and a mouth. Oh, yeah, through because it's just coming all the way. They all have an end to the hole. Okay.

It's hard to rank because you've got to go value, right? I mean, the vagina, that's life. Without it. Isn't the nose the vagina, that's life. Without it, none of us would be here. Isn't the nose and mouth, that's life? Because you've got to feed yourself. Yeah, but you don't have a nose and mouth if there isn't a vagina. What came first? The vagina or the nose.

Who came first? Dad. Always. Sorry, sorry. You said you were going to keep this professional. We said we were going to keep it PC. Okay. Yes.

I love the mouth hole. Women have one more hole. Yeah, we do. Sorry. Well, that's not inequality, is it? Yeah, I know. It's not equality? Also, that hole is just a real cumbersome,

just annoying burden on our lives a lot of the time. I do apologise. Thank you. I'm going to go for me. I felt like that was my fault. I don't know why. I thought it would just be easier to go for me. I felt like that was my fault. I don't know why. I thought it would just be easier to apologise for it. For me, I love my ear holes.

I love to listen to music. I love to listen to people. I love getting something in them holes. Yeah, I love scratching the ear holes. I love itching the ear hole. I love the mouth hole because I love to eat food. I love to put food into that mouth hole. That's going to be my number one, I think.

Is your mouth hole? My mouth hole, yeah. And then my second favourite hole's got to be getting it out so I can get more in. So you're popping down. So it's got to be the butthole. The butthole. It's not one of my top three. Yeah, it's definitely not one of my top three. The butthole's not in your top three? No. I'm going to say my right nostril

because I love having a dig. Yeah. Love having a dig in the right nosty. The butthole is not in your top three. Yeah. It's got to be a top three hole. I'd go a nostril hole as well because I love to dig. You'd be bugging without it. You'd be bugging with it.

I was waiting for that. You must have it. I was waiting for that. The eyes, to me, not a hole. No, because they're blocked up with the ball. Yeah, that's a ball in a hole. That's more of a socket than a hole. Yeah, I'll give you that.

Thank you. I'll put that under the socket. You may be air hole because you like enjoying music, but it's not like you're going without if you don't select it in the top three. Yeah, no, I know. Smelling rules. Smelling really nice things is quite a lovely. Sometimes, though, stuff stinks. Yeah, stuff does stink. But you've got to take the good with the Yeah, no, I know. Smelling rules. Smelling really nice things is quite a lovely... Sometimes, though, stuff stinks.

Yeah, stuff does stink. But you've got to take the good with the bad, you know? Yeah. Okay, so nostrils is in top three. Who am I after before my third? I think it's going to be... Urethra. Nah.

Nah, because it's not... Nah. It's not necessary. And we've all had a UTI. For the fun part of that area. We've all had a burning... You know? Yeah. On this all had a burning, you know. I'm most butthole your three.

I'm going to go mouth hole, butthole, ear holes. Okay. I'm just seeing what the people are saying. Jane Sproul. I'm going to go mouth hole, number one. Ear hole, number two. Vagina, number three. Despite the burdens it gives me.

Why isn't vagina in your top three? Because I don't have one. No, but you can. Am I allowed to pick vagina? Number one. Is one allowed to pick vagina? Yeah, we're just talking in general holes. In general.

Yeah, in general. Oh, yeah, number one vagina hole. Oh, don't try to cover up now. We're saying you'd make it number one. Number three butthole. Great. I'm going three, butthole. Great. I'm going mouth, ears, vagina. No, I will not tell you.

I will stop right now. Thank you for keeping that. Before I lose my job. Your top three, please. Your final top three. Oh, I said them before. What did I say? Mouth, hole, left nostril.

Mouth, hole, left nostril. No, right nostril. Right nostril. I don't know. It's got to be that old. Because otherwise, how do you poop? Yeah. That's the only thing, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This was fun. What are people saying? I think we're saying mouth hole in general is our winner. It's number one. Okay, fantastic. But a lot of people are saying, hey, there's nothing like a good poop.

Yeah, right. Okay. So it's up there for people. It's up there. But I'd say Mouth Hole takes it out today. Interesting final rankings today. Yeah, really interesting. Okay.

Everybody get out there and enjoy your holes. Yeah, get out there, man. Safely and responsibly. Yeah. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now, congratulations are in order to Billy Ray Cyrus who was wed three days ago on the 10th of October

to, he's 62 years old, Billy Ray. Miley's dad. Miley Cyrus' dad and tied the knot with 34-year-old Australian singer Fire Rose. That's a 28-year-old. Now I'm just checking the age because she does not look 34. She's so much older. Her mum only just recently

married the Aussie guy from Prison Break. Yes. Dominic Purcell, is that his name? Yeah. So they're both both of her parents are married to Aussies now. Yeah. And she was with Liam. They love the Aussies. They love the Aussies. They love the Aussies.

They love the Aussies. Yeah, they do. So, I mean, people are a bit like, she's three years older than Miley. Miley's 30. This chick is 33, 34. Do we think she is 34? Dude, she's had so much plastic surgery done

and it's made her look so much older. Yeah, right. If you're in your 30s, you don't need that many implants in your cheeks. I'm being judgmental. It also, I mean, Billy Ray, have a shower before your wedding day. It just looks... Oh, he looks a little bit homeless, doesn't he?

Yeah, the hair, the dreadlock pigtails and it's like one slice of his face is showing. So that means that Miley's stepmum is now three years younger than her. Yeah. Yeah, could have literally been at the same school as her. Yeah, totally. So I thought, you know, these are not unheard of stories. I want to know if anyone listening, if their parent got with someone who was around about your age.

Like dating someone around, right. Like your parents separate and then your parents get a new partner. Yeah, dad went out and then found a new partner and you're like, yeah, I remember her from home ec. She was in the same class as me. But then you also hear of that happening and then they actually get on. Yeah, totally. Because they're the same age.

No judgment. We're not here to judge. It's just a really interesting dynamic to me. How you would go, I mean, like, you know. What's the age gap between the mum and the guy from Prison Break? Mine leaves me like three or four years. Yeah, yeah. Oh, right, okay.

Because that's what I just looked up when we were talking about it to see if he was close to, but no, he's like 54. I think she's like 15. Yeah. I mean, Prison Break was like 15, 20 years ago. Coming up 20 years ago. Yeah, coming up 20 years. Next year, it'll be 20 years since Prison Break.

Wow. So many people are starting to watch that again, or getting into it. Yeah, first few seasons good. Guys, we're getting distracted by Prison Break. Sorry, I always get it. It's a great TV show. You're getting the boys.

I could feel a boys club happening, and I'm just going to stop it, because I want to talk about relationships. Did your parent, mother or father, get with someone who's close to your age? Yeah. And how weird was it? I mean, maybe they had a full-on relationship.

Maybe they got married. Maybe your step-mom or your step-dad is like close to your age. We'd love to hear from you this morning. Could even be younger. 0800 DALS at M. Give us a call. Text her as well.

9696. Does your parent get into a relationship with someone who's round about your age? We're talking about Billy Ray Cyrus got married, father to Miley Cyrus, and he married someone only three years older than Miley. So we want to know if your parents have ever dated or had a relationship with someone that's

close to your age. Because like your step mum or your step dad would be like your age. Emma, good morning. This happened. Good morning. How are you? Good. Actually it was the other way around. So I married

someone who was within a year of my mother's age. Oh, my God. My father. I don't know that my dad would handle it. My dad was a little cagey at first, but he got to know him and he was all good. My mother knew him better beforehand than my father did. How did they know him before you knew him?

Oh, because of the sport that I did and my mum was involved in. Right, right. Are you still together now? No, we were together for like eight or nine years. Oh, wow, okay. But, yeah, so separated, no animosity, no hard feelings or anything. Wow. But, yeah.

Wow, so that's like the complete opposite. Yeah, interesting. Thank you, Anonymous. What was the situation? Oh, hi. So this was not my parents, but my grandparents. Yeah, okay. So it was my granddad.

We were at his 17th birthday. I was like 10 or 11. And he rocked up with this woman that no one really knew, but there was a lot of people there we didn't know. Yeah. And we found out that that was his partner. But the interesting thing was is they were younger than my parents. Right.

So this was Papa's 70th? Yeah. Wow. And so where was Nana? Had she passed at this stage or they'd separated? No, she was there. Oh, no, she had passed away when I was, like, really, really, really young. Oh, right.

Well, I'm sad to be in his later years that he's found love. Yeah. I'm like, is he getting her in, Daddy? And she was... Sorry, what was that? She was, like, in her 50s or 40s, was she, at the time? Late 30s. Oh, get it.

Brenda. She is. I love that. Interesting. At the time I was young, but looking back now, I was like, well, he was like a lovely man, but he didn't have a lot of money, so he must have been a really lovely partner. Yeah. Or a massive wang.

Yeah. Just say it, Anonymous. Grandad was packing. Grandad had a huge penis. And great skills Nice work David Anonymous Thank you

Is he still with us Or has he passed now too Oh he passed away too At least he went out happy Yep Happy as he's ever been Thank you so much Anonymous He was a good man

Keep your texts coming in 9696 If you ever see an angel With a massive wing It's Grandad It's Grandad yeah Now we're talking about When your parents got into relationships

with people around your age. No, I was just saying, I honestly, it's easy for me to say this now. I honestly don't think I could do it to my kids. Like, I love embarrassing my kids, but I don't think I could do this, turn up at a party with someone their age and be like, this is my love. I've taken a new love. It's cringy. I've taken a new love and she could be your stepmom soon. Just saying. Oh, my love. I've taken a new love. It's cringy. I've taken a new love and she could be your step mum soon. Just saying.

When they're like 25, you'll be, how old will you be? Well, I'm exactly 30 years older than Indy. Great, yeah. So if she's 25, I'll be 55. Well, no, it does happen. Steph, your mum is dating someone your age?

Yeah, so me and my brother have a partner that's the same age. Yeah. And then my mum is also dating someone who's the same age as our partner.

So you, your mum and your brother are all dating people of the same age? Yeah. Wow. And what age is that? My partner's 39.

So they're all having their 40th in the same year. Wait, so is your partner a bit older than you? Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So older and then younger. And mum's is a bit younger.

And mum's is younger. Yeah. And was it weird at first when mum's like, here's my new partner? Yeah, it kind of still is, actually. Yeah. Joint 40th. Yeah. No, don't make it too weird.

No, you'll save on venue hire. No, that's true, actually. Cost of living crisis. And more on the bar tab. Just an idea, Steph. Thank you. This is the text I've been waiting for. I didn't even want to lead a horse to water.

I wanted to see if the horses would come forth and say, we just quenched our thirst. Yep. My dad came out in his 60s. Great. Good for him. Homosexuals have entered the conversation. Great. My dad came out in his 60s. Great. Good for him. Homosexuals have entered the conversation. Great.

My dad came out in his 60s. Yeah, good on him. If, you know, those had been his feelings, they'd have been suppressing the whole way through. I'm glad he, you know, got it out before. God, but all that time. All that wasted time. I know, all that.

What a waste. Having to put up with boobs. Imagine how many Mardi Gras you've missed out on in harvest parties. Having to put up with boobs for 60 years pretending you're into them. Yeah. These are fun. Oh, I love that.

My dad in his 60s came out as gay. His first relationship was with a 25-year-old. Yes, dad. Yes, dad. And I was 28 at the time. Woo-hoo. Yeah, get it, dad. You can always have a little twink there, doesn't he?

That's been a real daddy. Yeah, daddy. Like actual daddy. Maybe a snow bear. Yeah, or maybe, Dad. He's got himself a little twink there, doesn't he? Must have been a real daddy. Yeah, daddy. Like, actual daddy. Maybe a snow bear. Yeah, or maybe a snow bear. My great-grandfather was 92 years old and had a baby with a 38-year-old lady. Wait, was he super rich? He'd already had a kid in his 60s.

So my great-great-uncle is two years younger than me. Oh, get out. That's wild. How old was he? 92 and the person was in their 30s. She was 38. That's wild. Michael.

You just think he'd be dusted 92. Michael, welcome to the show. Your dad's partner. Who was he with? Yeah, what's going on, T? Hey, yeah, my dad, his partner's two years younger than I am. He went to school with my little brother. Oh, God!

They have two kids together, and they're both younger than my oldest son. So your half-brother is younger than yours? Yeah. Your half-brother is younger than yours. My half-brother's... So I don't feel good about my kids calling them uncles, so they call them cousins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But technically they're kind of uncles.

My son's about a full head taller than his uncle as well. Wow. Your son's like eight and he went to school and he's like, bit up my uncle at the weekend. Yeah. I took him. Gave my uncle the smash. Michael, thanks for your call.

Some messages in. My wife is the youngest of four and we celebrated her 30th birthday 10 days ago. Happy birthday. We celebrated her step-mom's 30th six days ago. So her step-mom is four days younger than her. And she's actually not the youngest of four anymore. I have misspoken as she is an eight-month-old half-sister.

Eight-month-old half-sister. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So scandalous. This is so interesting. Yeah. There's so many. There's so many of them.

Don't call me. My ex just married a girl after meeting her in person for 20 days. She's 23. He's 42. Our kids are 16 and 14. That's going to be a confusing time for a 16 and a 14 year old. Oh my God. My estranged father is 53. Just married a 26 year old. I'm 33. My brother is 29. And at 33, I wouldn't even date a 26-year-old if you met them.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Ailey. Play ZM. Now, you will remember last week was our birthday. I'm still harping on about it. Actually, a week ago today was Aaron's birthday and I woke him up early in the morning to give him his present, which was a PlayStation 5.

Not the new thin one. They've just announced a thin one. So you literally, the week you got him a present, they announced a thinner one. Okay. That's alright. Maybe he doesn't like things thinner. Oh, he likes a bit of girth, does he? Maybe he likes something to grab onto. Okay, yeah. You know? It's not all

about the thinner one. He likes the curvy box that I got him. Yep. It's just after when you realise what you just said. The words came out funny. Anyway, so I got him this thing and obviously our TV's not up at the moment because the lounge isn't finished but he's like looking forward to playing it. And then he just said to me yesterday

he was like, oh I said ha ha something about playing the PlayStation and then he was like, you're going to play with me though eh? And I was like, oh, I said, ha ha, something about playing the PlayStation. And then he was like, you're going to play with me though, eh? And I was like, no? He was like, no, but you have to play. Like, oh, please, can you please play PlayStation? I don't know how to play PlayStation. I don't play PlayStation.

No, thank you. It's just for you. And he was like, no, but the whole thing is that I wanted to play it with you. And I was like, oh, no, that's not what I thought was happening. Your plan has backfired. What I thought was going to happen is that I would buy this time consuming void of time for him and he would use that

and I could tottle off to the pub with my friends and come back home and he's had a pleasant evening, I've had a pleasant evening and then what about it I totally get where he's coming from there are some games where you're like this would be fun to play but Sade's the same, she's like no, no, you could be playing they will watch a little bit and I'll be like would be fun to play, but Sade's the same. She's like, no, no. I'm like, you could be

playing, they will watch a little bit, and I'll be like, do you want to play as well? She's like, no, no. No, I like, sometimes I'll watch, like I'm watching a movie. I've always done that since I was a kid. My brother was a gamer, and I'd just watch and he'd be like, do you want to play? I'd be like, no. It's like watching your little Crash Bandicoot run around and get the things. I don't want

to play. This was not the plan. And now he's going to be, now he's disappointed that I said no. Oh, no. What have you done? No, what I thought I had done was given him the distraction, the fun thing for him. I don't want to be involved. There's some good games where you get to play with a lot of people.

Like we had a four-player one. Play with you. What was that one I like? Cooked. Play with strangers. I would play with Vaughn. Two cooked. You're cooked, whatever it is. And you I liked? Cooked. Play with strangers. I would play with Vaughn. Two cooked. You're cooked, whatever it is, and you had to run a restaurant.

And so four of us would play, but they didn't like that Dad was bossy. Yeah, but you can play. Someone had to be the boss. You can play restaurants, and I'll just go to a restaurant. This is not the plan, and now I'm like. But do you think once he has it and he starts playing some games he'll get hooked? Yeah I hope so I hope so

Oh there's not every game's not for you and your partner. It's not that I don't want to spend time with him. Yeah. I just don't want to do that and I want my own time as well so. We've got a lot of got a lot of prosecco's to drink. We've got a lot of social events coming up.

And he's not that interested in them. Oh, someone just texted me saying, don't play with him. If you end up better, he'll never forgive you. I'm not. I won't. Yeah. I'm not. That's not my advice.

Go play with Vaughn and Jared. You might have to take one for the team here, Vaughn. I don't even have to leave my house to play with him. I can do it from my house and he can be at his house great and then we're both at our own houses perfect

this is perfect as long as I'm just nowhere involved in any of this I don't want to play I want to party well a woman online has been roasted.

She's an American. Slow or fast? Medium. Okay. Actually quite a pile on online. Oh, really? She's been applying for a lot of jobs and doing a lot of job interviews, which would be horrible.

Yeah. Like, have you ever done many? No. I applied for. Yeah, I did. Actually, yeah, they're job interviews, I guess, auditions. But I don't know, it's a question to say. I just feel like, I don't know.

Why do you want to work here? Because I need to pay bills. Why does anyone have a job? Yeah, I've done one proper job interview like that. Yeah, yeah. Well, so she hit TikTok and said, I've just been yelled at for asking a very reasonable question. So I'm applying for a job somewhere

and I just wanted to know. So I asked him, do you have accommodations for people who struggle with time blindness and being on time? Sorry. And you immediately didn't get the job. And she's not getting any of these jobs

because she's asking them if they are okay with her being time blind. Which we struggle with Vaughan all the time and his time blindness. He's time blind but he's not ever just not here or like late, late, late, late.

Six o'clock series. Yeah but sometimes, sometimes. It depends. Like we have to lie to you. We have to say things like 20 minutes earlier than they are. Yeah, but the party don't stop till I drop in, as ancient French philosopher once said. True, true.

Yeah. What was their name, the ancient philosopher? Well, I can't remember, but it was Gandalf the Grey who said a wizard is never early or late. I know, I'm sure it wasn't Casha. He's always right on time. It was Caché. Ancient philosopher Caché.

Yeah, ancient French philosopher. Renaissance philosopher Caché. Yeah, yeah. Stop till I drop by. So is time blindness a real thing? Have you Googled it? Well, she says it is. I'm not time blind.

I'm not time blind. I'm just not held hostage by time. I'm not. Oh, my God. I'm not letting time dictate my. I'm not letting time dictate how I live. I'm just a hostage to time. Man.

Join me. Wow. And my new life coaching business. Don't be held hostage by time. The Ron Smith story. So you'd rather hold up your work colleagues? I'm not holding anything up. Proceed.

Proceed. We literally wait every morning for you to turn up so we can start. You turn up and most of the work is done. Exactly. But that tells me you're capable of doing it. He's time blind. He's time blind. And we are time 2020.

I'm time free. Yeah, we've got 2020 time vision. I'm time free. I'm a step ahead of time. Wow. What is time though? Exactly. It's a construct, man.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's Rollercoaster Week at Fact of the Day. I've been loving it, Vaughan. Thank you very much, Hayley. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Oh, yeah. It's Rollercoaster Week at Fact of the Day. I've been loving it, Vaughan. Thank you very much, Hayley. I've been telling you facts about rollercoasters, and today it does have to take a grim turn.

Oh, dear. It's going to take a little bit of a grim turn about people, the deaths related to rollercoasters. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what are you looking up there? I wanted to know how many people have died from shark sharks. Oh, this is a thing. So the Wikipedia page, coastopedia.net, list of deadly roller coaster accidents.

The oldest one is 1930. So like 90 years ago. What is it? 93. Three. There's seven left. That's 93 years. Why did that take so long for me to work out?

I panicked. You did panic. I panicked. Yeah, you math panicked. I math panicked. The first one, 1930. So really when you take into account it's been 93 years, it's 90 years.

We're having many years. I've math panicked again. It's 90 years. We're having many years. I've math panicked again. It's not bad at all. Okay. How many people all up? There have been 37 reported deaths on roller coasters. Okay. That's safer than sharks.

It's safer than swimming in the ocean. Well, I wouldn't even say sharks. Shark deaths, very few and far between, given the amount of humans in the ocean at any given time and the amount of sharks in the ocean at any given time. And the amount of sharks in the ocean at any given time. Yeah. Cars, bikes, all things. Guns.

Drugs. Boats. Crocodiles. Hippopotamuses. Yep. People chucking on lollies. Yeah. Trains.

Smoking. Yeah. Yep. Smoking. Smoking. COVID. Spent around for way less time, taking away more lives. Yeah.

37 recorded deaths from roller coasters. 18 recorded from mechanical failures. 10 recorded from falls from roller coasters. Oh, that's bad. Five from people who have been struck by the roller coaster, maybe not even went on the roller coaster, but it's a death by roller coaster, so it counts. What, they were walking on a roller coaster track?

Four from others. Okay. Others. It is a death by rollercoaster so it counts. What, they were walking on a rollercoaster track? And four from others. Okay, others. Miscellaneous. It is death. Other, so other. The others interested me too when I heard other I was like what could possibly be. The fire in the hole rollercoaster at Silver Dollar City in 1980

an operator switched the train to go into the service area unaware that riders were on. The entrance to the service area had a low roof. All passengers escaped serious injury except for one man Oh! That was in 1980. What? Another one, and this is one where Raging Bull at Six Flags Great America in 2003, a girl with a heart condition died after riding a roller coaster. She had a known heart condition and had been seeing a cardiologist but had said she didn't because the sign at the thing said

if you have a cardio, you shouldn't be on this. 1944, in the other category, a fire started at the Palisades Park which destroyed the park's rides and unfortunately some people were stuck on the roller coaster when the fire broke out, so they died. And Loch Ness Monster at Bush Gardens in Williamsburg, a park employee found blood

on the last car. Unidentified reasons, probably a nosebleed. I wouldn't count that as a death. Wait, that's under other reasons. Yeah, but it didn't add up to our other. It didn't. Okay, right.

Those are the four things under other. Right. But there was some there. That's why. Okay, so it's not. Okay. I mean, it's still horrible that there have been that many, but it's not what you would have thought.

Falling would be terrible, though. Some of them. I've never had that problem when the belt goes over and there's lots of room. There's never room. No, no. It's clicked in. Because when I went to Ramazan not too long ago,

there's that big one that you go up and then it goes over. And I remember being upside down and feeling like, this isn't enough. I feel weakly in here. It's because of the weightlessness when you're upside down. Yeah. Because I remember someone explained that to me. It feels like that gets loose,

but it also is coinciding with the fact that it's at that moment where you're weightless. Yeah, I know. Love that ride. I love that ride. It's so good. Yeah, it's really something. Some of the more interesting ones.

In 2011, a man died on the Superman Ride of Steel at Darien Lake because he was a war veteran who had both of his legs amputated. And so he slipped out from under there because he couldn't put his feet on the ground couldn't put the feet on the ground to secure himself it's dark

but let's take into account how many millions of people literally on I think at last count there was earlier in the wake I saw something in the vicinity of six and a half thousand roller coasters around the world and people are constantly riding them and have been for nearly 100 years.

No. It's a thrill ride, and most of these are things that have been taken care of by now. So today's fact of the day, the grim sign to finish Roller Coaster Week on is there have been 37 recorded deaths on roller coasters in 93 years. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Yeah. It's time for the impossible phone-in topic. A topic that we think is so impossible, we won't get any calls. I just was reminded of my favourite toy when I was a child. It was a piano. Yeah. But when you hit the key, it banged a bell. Oh, a toy piano. It was a toy piano, but it was like,

and there were these like alarm clocks and you pushed it and it was ding inside an alarm clock. And that's what it sounded like. Yeah, they're called toy pianos. Chaos. They're so cool. This chaotically loud toy. Well, good for you.

I wish I still had it. And so you just started hitting everything. Stop it! Hey, someone's excited because we're going out for breakfast. We're going out for brunch. We're going out for brunch. Now, well, we've got work to do before then, Hey, someone's excited because we're going out for breakfast. We're going out for brunch. We're going out for brunch. Now, well, we've got work to do before then,

and I have proposed, Vaughan, the impossible phoner. Now, you know, you heard the controversy of Matt Healy from the 1975. Yes. We're at a festival in Kuala Lumpur. This was a while ago, but this bit of the news has only just come out, right? Yeah, so they, and to protest Malaysia's harsh anti-gay laws, Matty kissed, made out

with his bassist, right, in a protest. And then they got pulled, their show got shut down, they got pulled from the concert, that was it. Now, it's been revealed that they were actually, for a short time, imprisoned in a Malaysian prison as a result of this, as they were trying to get this all sorted out.

Now, this reminded me of Bridget Jones' diary when she ends up in a Thai prison? Does she? I've never seen it. No, it's Thai. I assume she wrote about it in her diary. Did you go past the Bali prison?

They love to show you where Chappelle Corby was. Yes, totally. That place looks horrible. But these places like, I mean, Thailand, maybe it was Bali, but Bali, like Malaysia, they have these. The Hilton Bangkok. I've read a book about a guy that was in the Bangkok prison and it was awful.

You've got to think about the Middle East. Places where they have more conservative laws and less human rights. Yeah, and less human rights. Tourists end up in these places and it's horrendous. Chappelle Corbett at some point, she didn't go to an Australian prison which would have been way nicer. She was stuck there for years. Or people like him just get in trouble

and get arrested. Maybe a drunken night out or a small foot wrong and they have to be there for a night or two. For something that, if he did it in any other place in the world that had less conservative laws, that wouldn't have even

been looked at. I want to know, my impossible phoner, were you arrested in another country? And maybe you had to spend a little bit of a time in a Thai prison cell.

Maybe you got too drunk at Oktoberfest. Yeah. Or someone a little drunk on the Kontiki. When I bloody lived in Oman for a couple of months, they were like, please take these rules seriously, because you can't be out here, you can't have alcohol in your hand

out here, you can't have this, you can't do this as a woman, don't do this. And I was like, oh, shoot, what's going to happen? How did you survive that? I lived in army barracks where the rules didn't apply to me. But, you know, there are those places that you go to visit and it's all good and fun, but maybe you got arrested. Okay.

I mean, maybe this is going to be impossible. Yeah. Because I'd like to think we've got nice law-abiding listeners. Yeah. Yep. 0800 dials at Emerson number, text through 9696. Have you been overseas and been arrested? Yeah.

And held for a short period of time? Or a long period of time. Chappelle, your calls are welcome. Right now though, the impossible phone-in topic. A bit of failure. Someone has messaged in and summed it up quite nicely.

This is definitely not impossible. No. I would say we have been, in fact, bombarded by you international criminals. Have you ever been arrested overseas? I will say some people been, in fact, bombarded by you international criminals. Have you ever been arrested overseas? I will say some people are texting in with the juicy seed of it.

I want to know the whys, the wheres. Yeah, I know. Who's the person that was detained for 18 days, no contact in Japan? What did you do? Elise, you were detained by London Border. What do you call them? Interrogation.

I was. So I don't actually think I did anything wrong, but they took a dislike to me at the age of 18, pushed on to my OE. Yeah. And yeah, they interrogated me, you know, where you first meet them at customs and then took me into the detention centre

and held me and interrogated me for nine and a half hours. Oh, my God. What did they think you had, like drugs or something? No, I think they thought I was going to work illegally. But I had a whiteout. I had no plans to work. I had my whole thing laid out perfectly. Were you like, I'm from New Zealand.

This is what we do. Yeah. Literally, I was like, do you think I'm actually going to be a criminal? Yeah, weird. Like, I want to visit. I don't want to live here. Yuck. Yeah, ew.

I'm here for a short time. Honestly, it put me off forever. I was like, I don't even want to go in. Oh, my God. Elise, thanks for your call. Sam, where were you arrested overseas? In China. So I won a competition.

There was actually four of us, and we got sent to China for a week. And the organizer of the trip, first thing first, actually, we couldn't get on the plane. The first time we tried to get on the plane, we were allowed on the plane. But when we got to China, they arrested us because we had the wrong visas, and they were so angry with us for slamming our passports down and shouting at us and running and it was fucking crazy. Oh my God.

Wow. So there was just a paperwork mishap. Did you get it all sorted? Paperwork mishap. Yeah, fully. Yeah, it took about six hours till they could contact, you know, the people back here and they sorted it all out. But yeah, it wasn't too enjoyable.

Yeah, that's a rough start to the trip. So you basically land and they lock you up. Yeah. Wow. Jesus. Yeah, that's not good. ZM, it's the impossible phone-in topic. Have you ever been arrested overseas?

Matty Healy from the 1975 admitted that they did spend some time in a Malaysian prison because they kissed on stage at that festival and Malaysian prisons, not a prison you want to be in No Very strict laws You know, they knew those are the laws You can't go to a country and get nude in front of a temple

I know, I don't know why I'm saying it because they're like protesting their laws and you're like, you know what, a lot of it's religious it's got nothing to temple or... I know, I don't know why I'm saying it because they're like protesting their laws and you're like, you know what, a lot of it's religious, it's got nothing to do with you. Yeah. You know, I don't know. And if you want to protest, just don't go there. Yeah. Also the gays love Bali, like Bali does turn a blind eye. Yeah. Until they don't. Until they don't.

Until they don't. Some messages in. Myself, my brother and three friends were arrested in Banff, Canada one New Year's Eve For back chatting to some police Who were trying to stop us across the road We all ended up in a cell for the night And I got charged with assault on a police officer

Because I tried to pull him off my friend Who he was kicking in the gutter I went to court, got deferred Had to pay a fine and an apology letter And this was all before the New Year's countdown Wait, so the police was kicking your friend And you tried to pull him off And you got done for assaulting a cop? Spent the New Year's countdown In the, so the police was kicking your friend and you tried to pull him off and you got done for assaulting a cop?

Spend the New Year's countdown in the back of the police car with my brother. My parents were very proud. They would have been very livid. Byron, good morning. When were you arrested overseas? Morning, Tim. Around, I want to say 2013.

Okay. I was visiting my mum in South Africa, and it was my birthday, and me and some friends had gone out for some drinks, and I got pulled over and arrested for DUI. And I had to stay in a Johannesburg prison cell with about 30 other drunk drivers one big nasty smelly damp

wet room with 30 drunk drivers breasts did we learn our lesson from that Laura

did we learn our lesson I did definitely yeah girls South African prison like you didn't

sell it to me I don't want to go I was talking over you no no we were both talking over each other. We're both to blame. In fact, I'm more to blame because this is my job.

I should have let you speak because you're the caller and you're a guest in our house. What was it? You didn't sell it to me, the South African prison? And you were only like in the Romandi part. You weren't in the full Nelson Mandela experience. I don't know if they call it the Nelson Mandela experience. Yeah. No. I wasn't know if they call it the Nelson Mandela experience.

I wasn't trying to be jovial there. The dude was in a solitary confinement for like 20-something years. Yeah, man. Yeah. Wow, naughty boy. You're a naughty boy, Byron. Byron, let's go to Elizabeth. Elizabeth, this was your grandad got arrested and had to go to prison overseas.

Yeah. So when did this happen? About eight years ago. About eight years ago. Oh, we can't hear you, darling. You're gone. Are you there? Granddad got arrested in Singapore.

Granddad got arrested in Singapore and then they're still screaming about it apparently. Granddad's a badass. The message is in. So I just said, bloody hell, now this wouldn't be a coincidence, I saw the exact same thing happen in Banff on New Year's Eve. I don't think that's a coinkydink. Maybe that's the same thing.

How crazy is that though? Two people listening to the show would be, one person was getting arrested and the other person was watching. Did they get a video of this cop kicking him in the guts? That'd be great if they did. My brother-in-law was arrested in Koh Samui, Thailand for overseeing his visa

and spent three months in a Thai prison and then transferred to a Bangkok deportation centre in the back of an open truck. Eventually got a flight back to the UK. Not a good experience. Such a worry for the family. Yeah, I bet. Personally, I think he's a complete idiot for not renewing his visa.

That's what they said. But he was then arrested arriving back in the UK for questioning for a past case. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Canada was arrested. America spent the night in jail and deported to Canada. Our passports were taken and we were handcuffed on our flight there.

Was Canada so intense? I think they're very intense on passports and stuff. Canada is the most intense place I've ever gone into with immigration. Seriously? Because I was only going for like three or four days at the end of a trip. And they were like, why are you coming? I was like, I don't know. I want to go to Montreal.

And just got so many questions. I put my finger up your bum. What do you got in there? Yeah. I want to know to Montreal. And just got so many questions. I'm going to put my finger up your bum. What do you got in there? I want to know more from this caller here, 557. I know we've run out of time. Japan, 18 days, no contact from the outside world. What did you do? Why are you in a Japanese prison?

And do you get a bento box through the cell door? And do you get a beautiful katsukari? Yum. Oh, yum. Yum. I think you guys are overselling Japanese present food. You're getting some kuyosa with a soy sauce? Yeah, on the hot plate.

They've got the chippanyaki hot plate right in your cell. And he's like, choppity, choppity, choppity, choppity, choppity, choppity. And then he goes, go back and open your mouth and then flicks the shrimp. Yeah. He caught it. He caught it. He caught it. Yeah, and then he makes an onion volcano.

Oh, another podcast in the bag. The caught it. He caught it. He caught it. Yeah, and then he makes an onion volcano. Oh, another podcast in the bag. The plastic bag. Are they back? No, no, still banned. Okay. They never left. That's where you come in with the line, boy. Boy, man, if you enjoyed that.

Okay. Oh, and if you enjoyed it, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell all of your friends. God, I need some sleep. Yeah. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.