ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 14th August 2023

Episode Date: August 13, 2023

Top 6: Fruit tax  Fish & Chip Pizza  Wheeze Remix  Flat Finances  Project Swiftie  Anna Paul!  Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. He's back, he's back. He's back. This place is a bloody mess. This place is a bloody mess.

He's brain wiping. Your father and I go on holiday for a week. It's a bit of party here. So we have a bloody party. Who even sits on that side? I think it's me in the morning. I read the paper. Also, I'm sick a little bit too.

And I'm a little bit sick. Yeah. Well, I think I'm either sick or I did three shows in 24 hours and then went out and got drunk and then had noodles, you know, at 2am. Were there any durries in the mix? Couple of durries in the mix. All right. Who were the durries with? At 2am. It's one of those. Were there any durries in the mix? Couple of durries in the mix.

Alright. Who were the durries with? My bestie. Goodness me. Look, we don't get to go out that often. She's got two kids and we live in different cities. It's a big night. That probably explains your husky voice.

Listen, my singing teacher at drama school always said to me, if you're ever sick before a show, as long as you've got your falsetto You'll be able to get through it How do you know your falsetto? It's like your high head voice Oh, no, okay, yeah So that's gone? You don't have it That's gone

How's yours, Borny? I've never had one You're still a little bit Even after a week How are you still sick after a week? I do not know. I better not have this for a week. I do not know.

Because I can't even blame getting this from you. Because you were away for it pretty much a whole week. Yeah. It's going around though, isn't it? This whole sinus-y thing. Imagine walking into the studio and these three feral human beings are all... Have you ever had those pills? those Mucinex pills? No.

If you've got a lot of stuff on your lungs and you're coughing but you can't get it, you take these pills and they loosen it up and you can cough it up. It is nuts, dude. You're just like... Yuck. I spat so much last week. I'd have to take over a little walk outside and have a spit. Wow, Shade must be peak horniness.

Oh, no, she told me I wasn't allowed to spit in the sinks anymore. It is gross to spit in a sink, but it's my sink, so I'll spit in a public toilet. Well, it's good to have your bag. Yeah, it's gorgeous, actually. And it all starts today. Taylor Swift tickets, 8 o'clock. You've got to be listening.

And then again at midday and at 4, if you're the first caller through at four o'clock when that third Taylor Swift song plays, and you can name all three, you get a double pass to a sold out Sydney show A Reserve tickets. Four o'clock, who's that? Is that Georgia or is that Brian Clint? It's Brian Clint. So you've got to be listening all day

to ZM for those Taylor Swift songs. There will be other songs to play, but it's just those songs at the top of eight, the top of midday and four o'clock. I just thought Hayley's been here for a year and a half and she's like, who's on just those songs at the top of eight, the top of midday and four o'clock. I just thought Hayley's been here for a year and a half and she's like, who's on at this time of the day? This four o'clock he's speaking of.

Who the hell is talking on the radio then? The four's a weird sort of hour. I don't know. What time did Brad Pitt start? Jeepers. So they're on here for four hours. God, poor buggers. I should listen in.

Once every three songs. All right. Coming up on the show, the top six. You're back, Vaughn. Hayley's been doing a stellar job. Yeah, what are you doing? Oh, you haven't been listening. Oh, God.

He's been in bed since. Oh, true, true, true, true. You're lucky to get out of bed while the show is still happening. I'll tell you, when you're awake, it's quite a lot of work to do. Yeah, we did work hard last week, didn't we? Yeah, you forget. And then it's like top six is next. You're like, is it?

Is it? Yeah. Fact of the day. Don't have one. You better get one. The top six other things to take off fresh fruit and veg. It was announced yesterday in an absolute vote grab from the Labour Party that GST will be removed from fruit and veg. It was announced yesterday in an absolute vote grab from the Labour Party that GST will be removed from fruit and veg.

Even though senior economist Brad Olsen said, terrible idea. He did. But you've got the top six to do with that. The top six other things to take off. Fresh fruit and veg. You know when you want to know something and so you try to make it a work thing so that work can pay for you to know it?

Like how? Well, that's what Sarah Pollock at the New Zealand Herald, shout out to them upstairs. Our colleague upstairs. Yeah, she has written an article about how to travel with your adult fun toys. Oh, yeah, okay, that's definitely... She was like, I'm on a trip.

I'm heading off on a little holiday break. I'm going to Raro. Yeah, and then thought maybe, oh, maybe we could get the work to sort of cover this so I could understand what it is. Yeah. So she spoke to a number of people at airports and also with a woman called Emma Hewitt,

who is a sex educator, about the best way to take it with you. Because you know, like with vapes and stuff. Lithium batteries. Yeah, you've got to have it in your carry-on. But it's only lithium, right? You can have the other batteries in your checked luggage?

Yeah. But what kind of battery is in like a satisfied pro? Well, those ones that recharge would be lithium. You'd think so, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. What kind of battery is in like a satisfied pro? Well, those ones that recharge would be lithium. You'd think so, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I don't know. If you're still running your dilly off a couple of double A's,

that's not great for the environment. Oh, my God. I know the next time you go to watch TV, the remote's not working because you've had to. You're rolling a couple of big diesel batteries, aren't you? Yeah. Well, it's like a big old torch. Yeah.

His is like that big red torch, though. Yeah. Does it have a mains option? Can you plug it into the mains? You can. You can hardwire it. Yeah. It's tough.

I think the TV reception, though, wouldn't it? It's got a transformer attached. You've got your plugs in funny places in your room, so he runs an extension cord to the lounge. Yeah, and he bought it from Asia, so he's got to have the adapter on there. So he's got an adapter into a multi-pack. One day I just won't arrive at work because of this.

It's on fire. Yeah. Well, here are three things to consider. Check the rules and regulations of your specific airport that you're travelling to and from. Right. Because some of them will say what you want to do with their batteries. And some of them will just take them out of your suitcase, your batteries.

Yeah. Like if you check them in. Oh, and even places, like if you had it, say, in your check-on, or either Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, they can bloody arrest you. Oh, they're illegal. Thailand. That's not illegal in Thailand. Really?

I mean, they do all sorts. Thailand's a very conservative year you know yeah most goose yeah I've never liked a thing in Thailand before

I've been there multiple times have you just put them in my suitcase really yeah I don't know

if I'd get arrested for it imagine being arrested in Thailand for a dilly yeah very silly the other piece of advice

is to pack light in terms of you know know, you might have your larger pieces. Yeah. Or maybe you're more discreet, sort of bullet-sized. I mean, it's up to you how you use your 23kgs, isn't it? Perhaps more discreet

in some of these countries might fly under the radar a little bit more. Right. And especially if it kicks off in the suitcase. You know, how much do you want that suitcase to be thrashed about? If you were to take all your clothes and your carry-on and then just load your suitcase with dillies, that's absolutely your

prerogative. Probably not that one that I got sent recently that honestly is so intense that we use it as a deep tissue massager on the shoulder. I gave you a bit of a go on it. That's maybe how I caught this. Giving you a little gilly rub.

It shook up too much. It loosened up years worth of asbestos in my lungs. Yeah. These are the places where sex toys are illegal.

The Maldives, Mauritius, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, Thailand. What? Who knew? You cannot bring a sex toy on your adventures.

It is explicitly prohibited. In Malaysia and Indonesia. So you're telling me you've broken the law. Multiple times. Because you've been to Thailand a couple of times. Yeah, and United Arab Emirates. And you took it with you?

Well, I wouldn't leave it behind. I've done solo travelling. And the other thing is the bigger question, checked or carry on. Yeah. Because like with your vapes, you've got to have that in your carry on, not in your checked. They say put it in your checked baggage so that when it goes through the bloody machine,

you're not standing there going, heh, heh, heh, heh. If it's got, if your toy is battery powered, you need to remove the batteries. I don't have any of the removable batteries. They're in there, aren't they? Yeah. So if you're not sure if it's one of those, put it in your checked

and then just remember that it's a very normal thing, nothing to be ashamed of. In worst case, you'll just get to your destination and they've taken it out. Yeah. They don't want to touch it. But they're expensive. You don't want to lose it, so maybe checked.

No, maybe carry on. Just put it in your checked luggage if it's not a country that it's illegal, and then... Claim it on travel insurance. Remember, they took all 12. Yeah, oh, my God, it was like $1,000 worth. Yeah. Exactly. Of fun times.

Treat yourself to an upgrade. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the Top Six. Hello there. You announced over the weekend, God, those election hoardings have started going up. God, they're ugly. They just make the city look like trash.

I know. Yeah, but I do love when they draw like a doodle or a moustache on them. I just saw a really funny one that took out a few letters and spelt some absolute lewdness. Did you see this? Really? What politician was it? Was it ACT or was it National? that took out a few letters and spelt some absolute lewdness. Did you see this?

Really? What politician was it? Was it ACT or was it National? National, yeah. And they'd removed the faces and it was like, they changed it to be like, get this, Seabourg. Oh, my God. Like, by removing some letters.

Oh, because it's like, get the country back on track. Get the country back on track. That's the national slogan this time around. Get the... Oh, shivers. Something rack. Okay. Clever. People are very crafty, aren't they?

They are. But they're so yuck. I hate seeing the hoardings start going up. Yeah. And we've got really big ones on their front fences. I know. It's like, all right, mate. You love them that much, do you?

Well, yesterday it was announced that Labour will remove the GST off fresh and frozen fruit and vegetables. Should they be elected? Oh, that would be good because you know I love my frozen berries. Wait, so, sorry, this is Labour's policy. But it's only happening if they get elected? Yes. Oh, far out.

I thought they were doing it like now because they're still running the government. And then a journalist said, so this is just like buying votes. And Chris Hipkins said, well, it is an election year. And I liked that they didn't deny it. He's like, well, it is an election year. He's honest. Oh my god, I genuinely thought it was something that they were

doing as a policy now. No. If they get elected, it'll be done by next April. I genuinely just thought my grocery's about a policy now? No. If they get elected, it'll be done by next April. Okay. I genuinely just thought my grocery's about to get cheaper. No. No. Apologies.

And also, if the GST's coming off that, it just means you're going to get taxed somewhere else. Let's be honest. Oh, yeah, they'll find a nice way. We're not so flush with cash in this country at a government level that we can just be knocking taxes on the head without sneaking them in somewhere else. Yeah.

So I've got the, if they're going to take the fresh fruit and veg, the GST off it, I've got the top six other things they need to take off fruit and veg. Okay. Number six on the list, the stickers on apples, because sometimes I eat them.

Guys, there's so many stickers on fruit. What if there's two stickers on an apple and you grab preliminary sticker and then you start eating the apple and then you realise there was a secondary sticker on the other side. Yeah, so you're chewing it. They are technically

edible, eh? But it's not pleasant. I don't want to eat it. Does the machine put those on or does somebody's thumb put them on? I don't know, actually.

Because you know if it's an old bird she's probably doing that thing old people do where they lick their finger to turn it on. Oh yeah, yuck. Get a sticker on?

Yeah. Alright, number five on the list are the top six other things they need to take off fresh fruit and veg. The hard bits on top of kiwi fruit. Oh, yeah.

Because otherwise you could just eat a kiwi fruit whole. You could just pop it in. But there's always the stalky bit where it joins the vines. The little nub. Especially on the greenies. That nub's really intense. It's a hard green. Yeah, the greens sometimes even have a hard core.

Core. I know. Bit of a core to it. Yeah, I'm gold kiwi fruit. I'm team gold. Must be nice. Must be nice. Number four on the list of the top six things to I'm gold kiwi fruit. I'm team gold. Must be nice. Must be nice. Number four on the list

of the top six things to take off fresh fruit and veg. The skin off, that was a laboured breath. The skin off bananas. Because you pay for bananas by a kilogram

and quite a bit of it is made up in the skin. Can you pre-peel the bananas? I peel mine at the self-serve. Do you? And then I put them into the bag and put the skin

just where they chuck the old receipts. Yeah. I reckon I save half. Yeah. How do you stop the bananas from going immediately brown? I eat them immediately. You eat them immediately. You buy a banana.

Seven bananas. You buy two bananas a time. One you eat before you even weigh it, so technically that's free. I just go to the supermarket. Technically that's stealing, I think, Vaughan. Not if you got it from the kid's fresh fruit basket. They do have bananas in there. Ban that's stealing I think Vaughan. Not if you got it from the kids fruit, fresh fruit basket. They do have bananas in there. Bananas are too expensive to pop in there. Yeah. Number

two on the list. So three. Whatever. There's numbers. It's irrelevant. The top six other things to take off fresh fruit and veg. The vine on vine ripened tomatoes. I know you already do this. I do this. Yep. Because it all adds up. Do you? Storks, vines yep. You gotta take them off. It all adds up. Do you? Storks, vines, yep, you've got to take them off.

It all adds up. But then they just look like regular poor people put tomatoes. How is everyone going to know you're eating a vine-ripened Campari tomato? Yeah, it's going to be fancy. My mother likes to cook them on the vine so that you know that they're on the vine. That's actually really nice if you roast all the vines. Yeah, I know. Is that?

Yeah, it is. But if you roasted it off the vine, it still tastes like a fried mayo. It just looks like a fried mayo from a full English. From a brully chippy. Number two on the list of the top six other things to take off fresh fruit and veg, the outer two layers of brown onions. That's just paper. Oh, yeah.

That's just paper. It's pretty cool that onions come wrapped in their own gift wrap. That's good. Yeah. I love onions. I love onions, but I hate it when one of the paper layers starts to become an onion. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. I love onions. I love onions, but I hate it when one of the paper layers starts to become an onion. Yeah. And then you peel it off

and you lose a whole onion. You lose a big, fabbit onion because it's papery, thin at the top and then thick, juicy onion at the bottom. What am I supposed to do? It's an onion issue. Yeah. Yum.

And number one on the list of the top six things to take off fresh fruit and veg, the stalks on broccoli. Oh, you can roast those. Fine, you roast them. I just want the heads. I just want the yummy top bits of broccoli.

Well, Australians pay per kg for their broccoli. So lots of people were doing it, eh? They were snapping it off. And the supermarkets are like, no, you pay for that. Yep. Go get it. That was number one. So that's the end.

Oh, fantastic. That's the end of the top six. He's back, eh? He's back. The. Go get it. Oh, that was number one. So that's the end. Oh, fantastic. That's the end of the top six. He's back. He's back. The end. No sequel. Play it. ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley.

ZM Fletch. Oh, my God, guys. Wow. Listen to that. Get me out of here. This studio is awful. I said as I blow my nose and clear my throat.

My family's been living with it for a week and nobody else has caught it so this might be what they call the man flu someone text us someone text us saying

my god you guys are a mess we are we sound disgusting don't we you're so blocked you're so gravely and I've got like a hot kind of

Melissa Etheridge thing going on right okay Melissa Etheridge a stony kind of a... Tell me, does she love you like the way I love you? That's my husk. That's a good bit Etheridge.

Does she stimulate you? Who was she dating for a while there? I don't know. Melissa Etheridge was... I believe it was a woman, yeah. She's got to be a dabbler at least. No, no, she's a fool. I know a dabbler when I see a dabbler.

No, no, no, Melissa Etheridge is full lesbian. Oh. Full. She's got to be a dabbler at least. No, no, no. I know a dabbler when I see a dabbler. No, no, no. Melissa Etheridge is full lesbian. Oh. Full. She might even be gold star. I don't think she's ever touched a penis. Wow. I don't know that much about Melissa Etheridge.

I didn't know you knew so much about Melissa Etheridge. I'm a big fan of Melissa Etheridge. 62 years old. She was dating someone that was on. She's two. This woman. She was on a string of tv shows in the early 2000s maybe she's also a lesbian tammy lynn michaels okay interesting such a lesbian good for

her um god bless her god bless her from top to bottom now a family uh booked an airbnb as families famously do all the time right and they turn up to to this Airbnb and they had to share this on TikTok because the house, which looks like quite a nice house, is absolutely littered with rules in the form of little kind of placards, shall we say, on next to everything.

So they went in and there was a nice sort of rustic farm style cupboard and then filled with plates and jugs and all this kind of stuff. Yeah. And then on the handle is a sign that says antique and fragile.

Please do not attempt to even open this door or pull on the knobs. So not only are you not allowed to use the things in there, you can't even open the knobs. Then there was another sign by the door upon departure, please leave all furniture and bedding and respective rooms and houses highlighted where originally found.

Because people would, what, move chair? Yeah, well, remember when we were doing Bake Off and I was broadcasting in from my Airbnb, we moved like everything to get the radio set up going. And at the end when I was putting it back, I couldn't remember where any of it went. So it would be kind of weird, I guess, going in there.

There's a cactus on the bench and it's got a little sticker, do not touch. I mean, it's a cactus. I sort of feel like in their nature themselves they go, do not touch me. The house was just absolutely. In one video, in just this video alone, there were 11 rules all written in big big, underlined, capital letters.

And they were like, there's so many more. I feel like the Airbnb-ing isn't for you if you need so many rules. Yeah. Like. You don't want people in your house, clearly. You obviously don't want them. Yeah. So don't Airbnb your house.

Yeah. There was another one. There was a room divider. Like one of those kind of, you know those, what would you call it? Like a. Like a. A foldable.

Yeah. That people get changed behind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of those. Lights behind them so you can see the silhouette of them getting changed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're peeping through. One of them says, do not touch or move for any reason.

I am 10,000 years old. Now that's just not true. And I'll break if you look at me the wrong way. Again, just don't Airbnb your house if you don't want people touching. On each bed, there was a note beside the bed saying absolutely no jumping on the beds. Any breakage of beds

will be immediately passed on to renters. Oh, come on. Come on. And then all sorts of, like, there were some shelves that had signs on them, owner's use only. I don't think you should be renting a house out as an Airbnb. Also, if you've got all these antiques and a 10,000-year-old room divider,

I don't think you need the money. No. Of being an Airbnb or clearly an antique collector. Stop being so retentive. Anal retentive. Anal retentive. Anal retentive. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM.

Is it? What's the time? It's 40 minutes past six. Did you say 40 minutes past six? No, it's 20 minutes to seven. We don't say. It's 19 minutes to seven. Yeah, that's what I don't think you would have said 40 minutes past 6.

No, I don't say... I just looked at the clock. I definitely don't... I never say you would have said that. Do you not say 41 past 6? No. No, you don't say 41 minutes past 6. No.

Absolutely not. And if you know someone that does that, unfriend them. I heard someone say that on the radio once and I had a word to them. I said, it's not 41 minutes past 6. I said, it's not 41 minutes past. It's 19 minutes to 7.

When do you change after the half hour? After the half, yeah. It's where you change. I don't know. I don't say that. You say, it's 29 minutes past 6. It's half minutes to 7 When do you change after the half hour? After the half, yeah It's where you change You say it's 29 minutes past 6 It's half past 6 It's 29 minutes to 6 29 minutes to 7 It's like people that have a problem with Like this Thursday or next Thursday

This coming Thursday This Thursday Next Thursday Isn't this Thursday It's the one after Yeah, the next Thursday is not next Thursday Next Thursday is next week Yeah, this this Thursday? It's the one after. Yeah, the next Thursday is not next Thursday. Next Thursday is next week.

Yeah. Yeah, this Thursday. That's why you say Thursday week. Yes. Or next Thursday. Either one works. Okay. Not Vahnia.

The next Thursday. Sure. Next week's Thursday. Next week's Thursday. That's how you should do it. Yeah. A pub in England is getting a lot of chat because they have put together two, I can't believe these two foods haven't been slammed together previously. It's a pizza, but it's a fish and chips and curry sauce pizza.

Oh, yum. With mushy peas. Okay, that's as British as it gets. And some tartar sauce. But they've globbed the tart tart sauce rather than drizzled the sauce. Now I know it's a thicker sauce and if you're eating a proper tart here it should have like chunks throughout it but you could still

water it down a bit for a drizzle. My local pub that I adore greatly they once did a fish and chip burger and it was like the crunchy fish, layers of chips and mushy peas in the burger. It ruled so hard.

It's the mushy peas that seem to make it a little bit more than a standard because I'd get a fish burger and if it was looking a little on the slim side, I'd open it up and chuck some chips in. But the mushy peas and the tartare. Are the mushy peas like what you'd put the tomato base? No. They're just glob still on the top. They're globbed on the top like the tartare sauce.

Okay. The base is the curry sauce. And you've got little wedges of lemon on it. Oh, my God. That looks amazing. It does look good. How has nobody done this before? I'm sure people have.

His base looks a little blonde. Could have given that a few more minutes in the oven. Yeah. Or he'd be baking it afterwards? I'd almost say that's ready for a bake afterwards, but it could also be. No, no, he's eating it. Like a bready base rather than a traditional.

Yeah. Right, okay. Anani sort of a. Oh, that's a good idea. You could do, if you had a good local chippery, you could go and just order the fish. And then make the bases. Bring it home, make the bases, put the fish on, mush up your peas.

Would it be better to put the fish on last? You could do it at home. If you've got an air fryer, you'd do the fish. Yes. You'd do the fish at home because then you could pick the sort of fish bits. Do you want the fish bites? Do you want more of a longer fish bit? Flaked.

What shape are you doing your pizza? Because this is sort of like a rounded edge rectangle. Are you blowing your nose on here? I'm trying to pretend that I just have a tired voice and I'm not sick. No, you do this right in the microphone. Well, you sound absolutely terrible. I'm so sorry, everyone. What we need is a fish and chip pizza.

Dude, how good would that be? Can we make this? Can you make this? We might need a lamb sip and strepsils pizza. Oh my God, we could get a little deflam pizza. And then Robitussin like Drizm. Robitussin Drizm. Yeah, but this is what we need.

Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Can you cough off? Did I turn my microphone off? It's so loud, it's coming through our microphones. Flip-flop and Hayley, silly little pole,

silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly, that silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole.

Should dogs be allowed in the workplace? Fano Tori, the Wellington mayor, was taking a staffie to work. Normally people bring their stupid little, I don't know, fluffy dogs to work, don't they? Yeah, a little handbag. What do they call handbags? Handbag dogs. Dogs. And apparently the landlord said no dogs.

It's a commercial right. It's a commercial, right? It's a commercially building-wide situation. Okay. So if you're running Doggy Fridays, you've probably got to check with your landlord. Are we still doing Doggy Fridays here? They did for a while, didn't they? What are they doing Doggy Fridays? Every now and again, I think.

Right. And then people are bringing in French Bulldogs and be like, what do you think? And I'd be like, terrible. What have we done to them? Why do we do that? And you bought one and it's only making it worse? And they're like, Vaughn! And I'm like, you asked, don't ask.

It's a don't ask, don't tell policy when it comes to Vaughn and dog breeds. 74% of people said, yes, dogs should be allowed in the workplace. 26% of people said no, and I'm looking forward to hearing from them. I loved when you brought your dad's puppies in a couple of times. Oh, yeah. They were nuts. But they were a pain in the ass as well. Yeah.

They were everywhere, chewing on things, running around. Oh, actually, oh, no, that was really fun. But the dogs that people bring in are never cute. No, they're always like mongrel, pitbull. Or it just looks like a rat. They get a bad name and then... It's a help! It's attacked the Xerox.

It's taken my calf muscle. Because it made a funny noise. Yeah, don't bring a yappy one. Here we go. Lucy says, patting a dog decreases stress and releases serotonin. So does drugs, actually. Yeah. So does patting yourself, to be fair.

Making a patting your own dog, which you should not do at the workplace. Unless your workplace has got a masturbatorium. If you work in ancient Rome or... Actually, we need to clean up the masturbatorium here. Yeah. I've had enough of it. Yeah, and they need to stop calling it the wellness room.

No one's using it for that. Oh, I know, come on. It also encourages healthy habits, like walking on your lunch break and actually taking a break. Well, you've got to take them outside to wee, don't you? Mm-hmm.

Gets you outside. Alexandra says, we have dogs in our offices and the best, they have to be office ready, i.e. not bark loads or pee on the floor. It's a huge mood booster

when they choose you to walk up to for pets. Oh, yeah, that would be cute. Yeah. Here we go. Here come the cat people. No, because why are dogs allowed and not other animals? If dogs are allowed, then can you bring in an iguana or a human child for that matter?

I honestly love dogs. I wouldn't personally mind, but it's a fairness thing. Also, people are legitimately afraid from childhood dog attacks. That's 100%. Yeah, true. Also, allergies and everybody should feel safe at work. That could be a rabbit person as well. Big rabbit energy.

Big rabbit energy. The allergy thing is, yeah. Grace just said allergies and then the emoji blowing its nose. Maybe that's why we're all sick. Maybe someone's got a dog in this building. That's why we're all snotty and sneezing. Taylor says Help distress who doesn't love a puppy cuddle

During a shitty work day I like them sometimes But sometimes people don't clean their dogs enough And they smell And then I smell Now I smell It sounds like you're ready to look for a new job too Yeah

Taylor Lizzie says They are much better company than humans Well I don't know My humans don't shit on my lawn and then just walk away from it. Someone's got to pick that up. My dog comes to work in the office with me every day,

and if I don't bring him, my boss complains that he hasn't seen a leave application for the dog. That's a bit cute. That's cute. Samoa says, absolutely not. Someone brought their dog to work, and the dog did a number two on the floor, and the owner did a terrible job of cleaning it up. Well, that's more of an owner issue. That's an owner issue.

They can't be just doing number twos on the floor, especially if they're a runny dog. Especially if they're a runny dog. That's a little poll. Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair. Send Simple Simon to the pie man. Let me taste your ware.

Oh, I always let me see your ware. Well, it is rude that he's eating the pie. Send Simple Simon to the parliament. Let me taste your wear. Oh, I always always let me see your wear. Well, it is rude that he's eating the pie. Is he pie-ing? What kind of pies are they? Are they mince and cheese? No, they'll be fruit pies.

They'll be like Plum or Doris Plum or something like that. No, I want no time for Simon's pies. I want a mince and cheese. No, Simon, come back when you've got some meat.

Get out of here. Now, if you're listening to the show this morning, you'll see here that we're all quite a little bit poorly. I'm putting mine down to run down. Yeah. You're quite sick. I'm clogged.

You're clogged. It's not. And you are just quite unwell. You had all of, did you work Monday last week? No. No, so you had all of last week off. Yep. And you're still sounding like this.

I've neither got worse nor better since Thursday. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday were dork. It's not something the doctor can fix, is it? It's just a cold, a flu? I said to Dr. Shawnee, who messaged me saying, you're the only person on the show that doesn't come to me the minute they have an ailment for free advice. And I said, yeah, I'm not a scrounger.

And I said, but I feel like if I go to the doctor, I'm just going to get antibiotics, and I don't want to take them for no reason. No, because they stuff you up. Yeah. You don't want to get a yeast infection. Exactly. Especially with your...

My yoni is a temple. His yoni is very delicate, PH. It is. And... Turn your microphone off. Turn my head. Turn my head my head i apologize to the listeners um i can't remember what i was gonna say it doesn't matter but you i've had a headache i've had a headache for seven days yeah kind of like constantly because of the cough and i've hurt a little bit in the neck here yeah right is this going around?

Have you heard from other people? Oh, everybody's sick. Everybody's sick. Everybody's sick. Right. I don't know if you're listening. Doctors, that was what I was going to say. I tried to book a doctor.

Yeah. And they said this was on Monday. They were like, the earliest we can do is Friday. That's right. Wow. Because the doctors are all sick. Yeah, right. Because people, I don't know if you know this, sick people go to the doctors.

Yeah, and they make them sick. And with their contagious sicknesses. Yeah. And they make the doctors sick. Yeah. And then they are too sick to say to other sick people, oh, yes, you're sick, have some antibiotics. Right. Okay.

Okay. I don't know if on, was it Monday, I believe, or Tuesday, you submitted to the group chat that you're in with producer JP. The wheeze. The wheeze. And we played it endlessly in that show. Can we listen again? Is this still a thing?

No. That's wild though, eh? Because I was just breathing and I was like, I was watching TV. I was like, what's that noise? It sounds like a, it sounds like a, have I left some porn going?

Yeah. And, that's that noise? It sounds like a, have I left some porn going? Yeah. And it's what I'm into. BG's porn. No, it's slow balloon release porn. And then I was like, is it me? And I stopped and I stopped breathing and it stopped happening. And then, yeah, it was a. You had a chest rattle.

Yeah. Well, we loved it so much. And then we thought it really belonged in a song, so DJ Jizzy P put two. My favourite, I think, is the Taylor Swift. You know when they put the goats in Taylor Swift? Mm-hmm. Well, he's given it to you.

Yeah. I can't believe that was coming out of your mouth. Now, DJ Jazzy Pizzle, you've spent a bit of time making a mega track, a remix. Yeah, way too long. Okay. It was quite hard to do, actually. I mean, but you're DJ Jizzy Pizzle. The only DJ I've known that's better. That was straight into the mic.

How are you still this sick after a week? I don't know. It could be with me forever. Why are you here? Used up all your leave. I did. I've used up all my sick leave. And so they can't find me at work.

Come back and make sure your family can't be fed. Yeah. I don't think they said that, Ward. They did. I don't know if they said that. They said we're not going to pay you. Doc, you'll pay. Oh, that's rough.

Yeah, that's my... This is DJ Jizzy Pizzle. Shout out to all my Wheezy boys. Not COVID. Not COVID. Not COVID. Not COVID. Oh, yeah. That is disgusting.

That is so rough. I can see the... It's making me cough. It makes me think I need to cough. Hearing the coughing makes me think I need to cough. Hearing someone cough makes me think I need to cough. Was that a fart? I don't know if this is going to take off. I don't know if this will be in the clubs, Jared.

It's not top 40. No. It's not top 40. Are we not going to be putting this on rotation? Who sung that song? Who did this original song? Skrillex. It was Skrillex.

What did that have to do with him? Is he still around? I don't know. I think he's still around. I think he's still doing it. He's probably got the flu. From listening to this. He caught it.

Oh, jeez. It's rough. It's really rough. We'll upload that to our social meds if you want to have a little listen. Apparently everybody's sick. That's what everybody I talk to is like, oh yeah, everybody's sick.

Everybody's sick at the moment. Teachers are sick. Nurses are sick. Not COVID though. Somebody just messaged in, I've had that exact situation for about a month. A month? It sits in the lungs.

It's hard to describe. What? Sometimes you just find yourself short of breath and you just launch into a coughing attack. I better not have that. Have you been on the fitness? Have you gone for walks or anything? No, I can't.

I would go out to feed the cows and have to have a sit down in the paddock and spit. Just constantly be coughing and spitting. It's not COVID. Because that was like you, Fletch. Well, if it is COVID, my family haven't caught it. No. And it's not showing up on any tests.

It's lasting too long for COVID. We might have to put you down. Oh, please do. Oh, my God. Are we sending him to a farm? We're going to get the vet over. Yeah. We might have to put him down.

Yeah, that's okay. Or I'll dig the hole. I said to Shaddaa, I was like, if I'm old and I get like emphysema or something, and this is full time, 100%, like smother you with a pillow. Let me dig the hole. I'll hire a digger. Yeah. Let me dig the hole. One last. One last. It's a dig the hole. I'll hire a digger. Let me dig the hole. One last.

One last. It's a bit grim. I get to hire a digger. Dig myself a lovely... You go out with a bang. Could you do one last little barbecue for us? And then I'll go and I'll show you guys the hole. And when I'm showing you the hole,

shovel to the back of the head. I'll be into the hole. I'm not going to prison for this. I'm not going to prison for this. You will have to fill it in manually because I've returned the digger by five. Can we not return the digger to Hyerpool the next day? You won't be able to back the trailer because Hyerpool's got a bit of a back. You've got to go in and then

you've got a back. No, I would have had a few drinks. I can't drive. No, I will drive. That's why I'm dropping the digger off. Can't we just push you off a cliff? We'll go for a nice walk. But then I don't get the digger. Then you've got a hole for nothing. Unless you're going to have a hungy at the... Ooh. Have a little hungy-tungy.

Hungy-tungy. Have a hungy-tungy. That's a great idea. Not after your last hungy. I don't think you've got the earth for it. So don't worry about it. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's.

So, I mean, we all know that Barbie, number one movie in the world. Yeah. At the moment. Huge amount of money made in New Zealand alone. Yeah. Let alone worldwide. It's a weird movie. It's so weird, eh?

It's really weird. It'll be the weirdest billion dollar movie ever. Yeah. Yeah. But cool. But weird. Yeah. It was interesting. My best friend was telling me she went and she took her daughter,

who's 10 years old, and she, like, had a weep, a huge weep. She was like, man, I was watching her and then looking at her and, like, this was so important to me. I was crying about this scene and that thing. I was like, oh, you're talking about the speech. And she was like, no, it was a different bit. You know where they flashback through the lives of women

and that's all the people that worked on the film and stuff. She said she was sobbing that her daughter was really embarrassed. She's like, mum. She was having a cool memory. Anyway, I know I was like,

oh, I didn't have that experience. Maybe that's when I was in the bathroom for the fourth time going for a ways. It's quite long. Well, now, they did a survey in America. 22% of the people they surveyed,

Barbie was the first movie they've seen post-pandemic. Really? Since COVID. Right. So it's actually got people back into the movies. Back into the cinema. And I think that's what, I mean, Hollywood's not exciting at the moment with all these strikes

and nothing's going to be happening. Yeah. But, like, it's exciting that people are going because we just stopped for a while. Yeah. And, you know, like, things, we could get them all on streaming platforms and we don't feel like we really need to.

And Barbie and Oppenheimer and Mission Impossible, to be fair, have kind of created this, like, moment in cinematic history that is, like like pulling everyone back. Like when I tried to book tickets to Oppenheimer, it's like sold out. Like it's some kind of... Yeah. Well, you've got to see that on a big screen.

It's incredible. All those three movies, amazing on the big screen. I know, but people have said before, you've got to watch this on a big screen. You've got to watch Avatar on a big screen. I watched it on my laptop. Aaron watched Avatar 2 on his iPad. We don't listen.

We're like, it's too expensive. But Oppenheimer, for some reason, we're like, no. I've got to see that. It's just the sound as well. The sound and the big screen. It's incredible. And do you know, what's the show? Oh, Greta Gerwig, who now is the highest grossing female director.

Of all time. Ever. That's pretty cool. Who did she beat? In one single film. Not collectively. Because... With one film. With one film. Right. So she's amongst the... Right, right. Per film.

The highest female director. Highest grossing female directors. The Hurt Locker lady. Who used to be... Did she used to be married to... George Lucas. No. James Cameron.

James Cameron. Catherine. Starts with H. We're at a pub quiz. This is a pub quiz. Who directed The Hurt Locker? Catherine. Bigelow.

Yes. Doesn't start with H then. All right. Okay. Was it Catherine Bigelow? Male gigolo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brenda Chapman. Excuse. Sorry. Yep. Catherine Bigelow? Male Gigolo? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Brenda Chapman. Excuse me.

Sorry, Catherine Bigelow. I'm sorry, I tried. Turn your microphone off if you need to cough. It got me. Number seven is Brenda Chapman, who directed Brave. Okay. Matrix Reloaded was directed by Lana Wachowski and Lily Wachowski. Wonder Woman's directed by Patty Jenkins.

Highest grossing. Greta Gerwig. Captain Marvel. I feel like that's a producer. Anyway, what I was going to say is that Greta Gerwig consulted with the set designer for the Truman Show on how to create that feeling of a soundstage.

You know, like a set. Because you know in... Without it being... Without it being... Without it being... Obviously. Yeah, yeah, okay. A theatre-y kind of production. Like a lack of depth.

Yeah, a lack of depth. Like the set finishes just behind. Yeah, we can feel there's a wall. Yes. And it's a soundstage that's going to end. And when I read that, I was like, oh yeah, that's so true. That amazing set, which is why you have to see it on the big screen, is inspired in part by the Truman Show.

Did you see Neil deGrasse Tyson worked out by, like, the moon and everything? Yeah. Whereabouts in the world where Barbie Land could possibly be? Miami? Not Miami. Where is it? Florida.

The moon's orientation places Barbie well between 20 and 40 degrees north latitude on Earth. Palm trees further constrain latitude to between 20 and 30 degrees. The sun and the moon rose and set over the ocean. So if it's in the U.S., Barbie lands somewhere in the Florida Keys. Yeah, well, she is Florida. Yeah. Barbie is.

Yeah. Isn't she? Malibu Barbie. Malibu. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Play. ZDM's Fibu Barbie. Malibu. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. I was in Wellington this weekend. Tell you what, it was having a good day. It was blue skies. It was kind of warm, crisp. Yeah. I loved it. I loved it so much.

And I performed three shows while I was down there. One Friday night, two on Saturday night. And when I got there on the Friday, like I arrived, checked into my hotel and had a little nap. Shat myself. You want me to touch back on that one just a momentarily? As someone who had to watch his farts last week, could it be a rapid increase in cough medicine and vitamin C?

Are you sure you're not sick? I don't know what happened. This was Friday, so Thursday I ate lunch. Yeah. I didn't eat dinner. I just didn't feel like it, and I was feeling a bit, my stomach was a bit funny, and I was like, eh. And I was on the project, and I came home, and I was like, I just didn't feel like it. And I was feeling, but my stomach was a bit funny. And I was like, eh.

And I was on the project and I came home and I was like, I just want to go to bed. And then I didn't eat breakfast. And then I got to Wellington. So it had been 24 hours before meals. And I went to this place on Cuba Street that does pasta. And I had a pasta, like a rich lamb ragout. A beautiful hat. Vaughn, you would have loved it.

I can't wait to take you there. As far as pasta goes, you can't go past a lamb ragout. Lamb ragout. Don't go creamy, please. No. Don't go creamy pasta. You love a creamy chicken bacon pasta. He's an Alfredo boy. My fave.

Well, I had this. It's got to be in the packet. You add your little butter in your milk and you simmer it on the stovetop. It's culinary delight. I will say, I haven't had that stuff since I was a student, but I loved it. Sometimes you've got to treat yourself.

Go back. Treat yourself to a family-sized pasta. Yeah, remind yourself of uni days. Do you know what I was thinking my kids don't eat enough of the other day? What? Diamond rice risotto. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Christine used to kill that in the big electric fry pan.

That, some chicken thighs, some pineapple. Oh, yum. Christine used to kill that in the big electric fry pan. That, some chicken thighs, some pineapple. Oh, man. We're living in the lapel after there in the 90s. Peas. Yeah. Not in that one. The diamond risotto had a curried one. No, you added your own peas.

Was Patsy spicing it up? Yeah, Patsy was adding her own peas by the sounds. Yeah. Oh, no, we had the Chinese style one. Rice risotto. That one, it was like curried almost. Yeah, that's a fave. That no, we had the Chinese style one, rice risotto, that one. And it had like, it was like curried almost. Yeah,

that's a fave. That's what we had with sausages. Yeah, well it's got peas in it. That was the one that we had with sausages. Yeah. Anyway,

so I ate this meal and then I went back to the hotel and I was like, I've got a couple of hours before I've got to go to the theatre at four and pack in and do my tech and my lights and all that kind of stuff.

And I was like, I better catch a nap. I've got a big weekend of performing. So I had a lights and all that kind of stuff. And I was like, I better catch a nap. I've got a big weekend of performing. So I had a nap of 45 minutes and then I woke up and was like, lifting my cheek to do a classic I'm on my own fart. And she was wet, man. I can't believe you're admitting this. Like, why are you admitting this?

Why does this shock you anymore? I don't have any shame. Yeah, well, I won't be there. I won't be there. I won't don't have any show. Yeah, well, I don't want to be in there. I won't be in there. I won't. Trust it too hard. Yeah, right. But you had sort of a whole thing.

Yeah. Not just a little, that's going to require a wiper. It's going to be at you when it dries. No. Yeah, it was a thing. And then I quickly went to the bathroom and I had like full on diarrhea. Wow. This is not what you need before a show.

No. Oh, my God. Can you die quietly? It's exactly what she needs before a show. Is it clean out better before the show than during? I was like, what am I going to do? And then I text Aaron and I was like, man, I've got, like, next-level diarrhea. And he was like, work it into the show, baby.

It's about your body. And did you? No, I did about four sessions in the hotel room and then a couple at the theatre. And by the time I was taken to the stage, she was all right. She was purely, yeah. Safe to fart again. Why am I talking about this? Anyway, I was performing da-da-da-da.

But then I did my tech and it went really well and I had lots of time. So I had all this time that I was at the theatre. I was hanging out on my own, just going through my set, warming up, doing this, and I went upstairs. That's actually the noise mine makes when I do. And then I was like, I'm going to sit down and listen to some music, going to do my makeup.

7.15 comes around. What time's the show starting eight o'clock okay and i was like right that's makeup's done hair's done gonna go down in the space have a little warm-up come back upstairs and i was like i'm the last thing i'm gonna do is i'm gonna put on my outfit didn't bring it just didn't bring it and what it's like quarter past seven no it's 7 35 oh where did you not bring it is it in a Auckland or is it in the hotel room? No, it's in the hotel room. Oh, okay.

So I was like, I had literally put on, because I don't know if you're aware of this, but I wear a very small mini skirt in this show. And I have control undies and then a control leotard and then I had control tights over top. It's the only way I can fit in it. Three eyes. So I had all that on and I'm there in bra, leotard, tights,

Doc Martens, ready to slip the skirt on. And it just was not there. And so I had to run out of the theatre, run up Cuba Street, because I was at the bottom of Cuba Street. I was staying right at the top, ran up there. And people were like, hey, passing me as I went, being like, we're on our way to your show, like walking to the theatre. And I was like, hey, passing me as I went, being like, we're on our way to your show, like walking to the theatre.

And I was like, I'm not ready. And then I like ran up, grabbed the outfit, which I had pre-ironed. Oh, lovely. So it's not like I sort of forgot that I was wearing it. It was ironed and hung in the wardrobe. And then I ran back down and saw my audience coming in. Like it was like quarter to eight. They were about to open the doors

and the actress isn't in the house. And I was like passing them all and I was so confused. And then luckily they saw me. They got to have the full experience of being the miniskirt. You know, because I do a joke about my body and the whole thing.

Yeah, yeah. And all that kind of stuff. And it requires... A little bit pumped? That particular... I was dripping with sweat. And then as the moment I got the suit on, the guy came up and was like,

clearance, like we're going to start came up and was like clearance like we're gonna start and I was like alright got to do none of my pre-show rituals and I ended up having the loosest and most fun show

I think because I just like wasn't doing all the like getting nervous stuff I just like ran down Cuba Street essentially onto the stage play it

ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley now this was revealed to us last week by social media producer Chanelette Pyjamas. Now, Vaughan, you're going to be very disappointed. So, Chanelette Pyjamas revealed well, there was a day, right,

that she had 96 cents in her bank account. Was it 96 cents or am I over... 92. 92 cents. Sorry, I gave her four extra cents there. Can I have that back, please? Just a day before payday. A day before payday. So we got the girl a scone and a coffee, you know. Got to keep her well fed.

Bit of charity. Bit of fodder. That's, I believe, feed the children. Yeah, so whenever Save the Children come up to me, I'm like, I'm already doing one. I've got that going. You've got Shannon. I donate a scone a week, and I'm happy to do that.

Thank you, Mother. And then, to our surprise, Vaughan, the next day she's like, oh, yesterday at the supermarket, this and that and this and that. I did this. I got that. You had 92 cents. And our pay doesn't come through till after the show. Where did you get this money from, Chanelette Pyjamas?

Well, my flatmate pays rent a day early, so I had her rent money. So, Shannon misappropriated rent funds. But I was being paid like 12 hours later. But then she was going to waver. She spent top... Don't enable this! It's a spiral. It's a slippery slope. It is. Yeah, if I wasn't being paid the next day or had like

a concrete salary, probably wouldn't. But I knew I was going to get some moolah soon and your girl was hungry. The scone had gone and been You've got to be careful. This is like when I started spending all the money that was inside the pokey machines at the bar that I ran and I was like, I'll pay it back.

You're not allowed to do that. Just before you know it, you have millions of dollars in a hole. Oh yeah. I don't think this is bad. Oh my god. It's a short termterm interest-free loan. I'm actually not disappointed. I thought you'd be really disappointed.

No, as long as the money's in there when the automatic payment for the rent goes out. Yeah. But that's the thing. I've heard some horror stories of people that are in charge of the flat accounts. Taking the pay. And then all of a sudden the landlords...

Not taking pay. I was going to say, you're using the flat money to buy methamphetamine. That's terrible. And you all of a sudden the landlords... Not taking pay. I was going to say, would they use their flat money to buy methamphetamine? That's terrible. And you get a call from the landlord or the agency and they're like, hey, you guys are four weeks behind in rent. And you're like, what do you mean?

I pay mine. We've been paying Hayley rent every week. Hey, don't use my name in this faux scenario. I used to be a little bit terrible, but thank God one of my flatties was so good with money that she always covered me. I'd be like, oh, whoops, I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. But that's the thing.

There's always that one person in the flat that you trust or is in charge of that. Yes. And you do trust them because it's normally going into their account or an account that they're all over. I have friends that have been burned before. It's this thing that Shanlette's started, which is skimming. You're skimming a little bit, and then your pay doesn't quite have enough to top it up,

so now we're falling behind a little bit on the power, and now you're getting in the litter, and now your power's off and the meat goes rotten. That's fine. I'll just, you know, skip town. I don't know. No, but we need you, Shannon. Oh, thank you.

For God's sake. Thank you. Well, yeah, I told her about it. I said, by the way, we might be talking about this on radio. I've been spending your rent money. What'd she say? She's like, that's fine, because the food was for her as well. I cooked her dinner with it.

Oh, right, okay. And she's like, that's fine. She's like, I trust you. We've been living with each other for about six years on and off. Right, so, okay. She's my best friend. She trusts me. Oh, yeah, we met her.

She dropped us off and we'd had too much to drink. Yeah. Oh, she was so lovely. She was so lovely. She let us play Troye Sivan. Yes, Yeah, we met her. She dropped us off and we'd had too much to drink. Yeah. Oh, she was so lovely. She was so lovely. She let us play Troye Sivan. Yes, yes, it was lovely. She did. Oh, she was lovely.

I'd spend her money. I'd spend her money too. Yeah, she's very kind. Yeah, she was. But this is what we wanted to ask this morning and take your calls. 0800 DALS at M9696.

How did your flatty misuse the funds? Yeah, how bad did it get? Did they spend rent money? Did you get evicted because of it? Maybe you've got bad credit now. Do you know the first time I ever tried to apply for something, I found out that I had bad credit.

One, because I had like no credit was the main thing. But two, because I hadn't paid a power bill. And I was like, yes, I have. And a flatty I lived with hadn't been paying it. Yeah, if your name is on the utilities you don't let somebody else pay for it.

If you're going in flat with friends never put your name on the lease or the bills. Get someone else to do that. You're boring.

Boring, yuck. I mean at least you can really trust your friends but strangers no way. I think we'll also take calls

you can talk about you can job in your old flattyies or your current flatties or yourself if you were a little bit of a Chanelette pyjamas skimming off the top each week. Okay, we missed the rent payment after September 11. Oh no. Because you were sad?

No, my flatmate was $5 short because he bought a ninja sword. Because you just said, no man, we're living in uncertain times. That's what he was like. He's like, look at this cool ninja sword I bought. I was like, no, man, we're living in uncertain times. Yeah, yeah. He's like, look at this cool ninja sword I bought. I was like,

that is amongst the coolest things I've ever seen. What, just in case Al-Qaeda come? Yes. But he said, it comes with a downside. I'm now $5 short to pay rent this week. And I was like, well,

who's paying it? We're going to be on the streets and Al-Qaeda will find us even easier. Yeah. we're going to see it easier. Chanelette Pajamas has been skimming off the top of her friend's rent. Her flatty's rent. She does replace it

but we think it's a slippery slope. We want to know when the flat funds were misused. Not misused. Some wild messages in. Some of this is quite sad.

Why? Money makes people desperate. Yeah. An old mate lied about the landlord increasing our rent and then used the extra that they were charging us to save up for a deposit to buy the house and then kicked us all out. Oh!

My God. Wow. That feels like the storyline of a good bloody film. That's wildly illegal. Right. That's stealing. Yeah, it's stealing. Fraud?

Totally. Take them for it. Small claims them. Our head flatmate was an alcoholic. All of us got the boot after our rent money unknowingly went on alcohol for two months and none to the landlord. Two months. That sucks.

It's not your fault. Did you get like a glass or something? Did you get like a glass of bubbles or something? A couple of cans? Something to take away. Yeah. Keep your texts coming in. 9696.

She wanted to know when the flat funds were misused as Chanelette Pyjamas has been buying, feeding herself off of her friend's flatmate's rent. You know, we just talked about the flatmate who's the person in charge of the flat account was an alcoholic and was spending all their money. Yes. It's an addiction issue, obviously, that's sad.

Yeah. And you said, I hope that they had a couple of good parties. Yeah. He was drinking most of it while he was at work. Oh, dear. At work. Mmm. Sheesh.

Wow. Yeah, so we want to know from you, how was it misspent? Let's go to Liv. Liv, what was the flatmate doing? He was cutting, like, we were paying more than we needed to, to be able to have, like, a big party when he moved out, or whenever somebody

moved out of the flat. Yeah. And then he was moving out first, and we're like, cool, big party time. But he has, the account was in arrears, so we're like, what's going on? We should be, like, there should be heaps of money in there for a party. Yeah. So, we ended up, like, dissolving the flat, in therears, so we're like, what's going on? We should be, like, there should be extra money in there for a party. Yeah.

So we ended up, like, dissolving the flat in the flat situation, and then we found out that the extra money had paid for his girlfriend to fly over from the UK, and they were now living together. Oh, how much money? Can I just say, it's a dumb idea to be putting extra money into the flat account for a party. It's a dumb idea. We were in our 20s. It was over for a party. It's a dumb idea. Yeah. We were in our 20s. It was over 20 years ago.

It was a great idea. Everything's about a party. We can look back now and realise it was a dumb idea though, can't we? But to come all the way from the UK, that's a lot of money.

Yeah, I mean, it was 20 years ago so it wasn't that much more, like, you know, it was cheaper than it is now. It was all relative. It was pretty expensive. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess the big thing was that he worked for a bank so that's why we trusted him with the money. Oh, for God's Yeah. Yeah. I guess the big thing was that he worked for a bank, so that's why we trusted him with the money. Oh, for God's sake. Wow. He's a money man. I don't think these banks like money more than they like people. You can't trust them.

Liv thinks you called some messages in. My best friend at the time, no longer friends. Okay. She didn't pay rent for two months and then expected us to help catch up. She spent it all on food and weed. We found out when we went to move house and the lady was like, you guys are way behind on rent.

And she had to pay six and a half grand back. What do you do? Go to the bank and get a personal loan. You'd have to, yeah. My former flatmate was secretly planning to move out, stop paying money into the joint account for rent. The bank manager had a great time playing detective, trying to find out what funds had and hadn't been paid in as evidence.

I wouldn't have thought the bank manager would have bothered. They were just really like, your problem. Yeah. They just might like solving the mystery. They went above and beyond, didn't they? They're a bank manager who wishes they were a detective. My brother's partner was in charge of the flat account. They each had a main bill in their

name. Okay. So someone did power, someone did water, someone did internet. They would all pay from the flat account. Then when she cheated on him and they split up, I was helping them and I called to cancel the wheelie bin and there was an overdue amount of $800 and she said I'm paying it.

You need a bin. You need to put that rubbish somewhere, don't you? Put her in the rubbish? Yeah. Taylor Swift, Crawl Summer, jot that down. Be listening at midday for the second Taylor Swift song and at four o'clock with Brianne Clint. And if you're the first caller through,

you score a double pass to see her live on her era's show in Sydney, Australia. I've been thinking about this because obviously this is the biggest thing for us at the moment. They were saying that she's probably the reason America hasn't gone so much into a recession. But this I don't understand. Oh my God, but we're spending money.

Yeah, people are spending money to go to. But this I don't understand. Oh my God, but we're spending money. Yeah, people are spending money to go to his shows. I don't understand. I thought we were supposed to wind in the spending. But can you still have inflation without a recession? Inflation, without a recession, it just keeps going. This feels like a question for Daniel's brand. You're effectively saying Taylor Swift is causing hyperinflation. So people aren't going to be able to afford their groceries

because of Taylor Swift. And Beyonce's doing the same. People areinflation. So people aren't going to be able to afford their groceries because of Taylor Swift. And Beyonce's doing the same. People are spending money. It's keeping economies going. Yeah, keeping it going. Keeping people in work as well. But that was the opposite of our problem, because interest rates were low, we had too much money to spend.

Yeah, look, I think we might need economist Brad Olsen to help us with this one. He came and saw my show in Wellington. He spent money too. He bought those tickets. I didn't give him complimentary. He's causing inflation. So he's causing my show in Wellington. He spent money too. He bought those tickets. I didn't give him complimentary. He's causing inflation. So he's causing inflation.

So he went out for dinner afterwards. Oh, who's spending money now? News Brad? No, I appreciate the support. But I've been thinking about Taylor Swift

because I've got to say and I love, I admire her success. I've never been a Taylor Swift fan. Like I've never been You've never been a Swiftie. A Swiftie. Okay. I can listen to the music and be like

got good music. Yep. And then I'll you know. But you're not a Swiftie. I'm not a Swiftie. And you know the weather's been miserable I'm going through a stressful house situation. I don't really have much to look forward to at the moment.

Okay that sounds a bit depressing. And then I was like, man, all these people have been messaging us, messaging me directly. All my friends are like hyped for Taylor Swift. It is the number one thing that is keeping this world happy at the moment, I swear to God, Taylor Swift. And I was like, man, I wish I could feel that buzz. And so I wanted to maybe get the girlies involved with a little project to try to turn me, who grew up listening to Marilyn Manson and weird emo stuff and a lot of screaming, turn me into a Swifty.

Do you think it's possible? Absolutely. It's easy work. I just want to be one of those girls who's like crying in a glittery suit. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yep, yep. I want to buy a set of cowboy boots and then just learn the guitar.

Yes. Your comedy performance outfit is like perfect. It's like the man outfit. Glittery suit. Yeah. I'm wearing a glittery suit. So you're already on the way to being a Swiftie. Oh my God, it's going to cost me anything.

This is barely going to cost me anything. I mean, yeah, just like tickets and flights. Yeah, I want to go the whole way. I want to go the whole way. Do you think that you can turn this strange... This tired old thing. This tired old gal, 33 years old, drove into work this morning, listened to System of a Down.

Do you reckon you can do it? I do. I think that Shannon and I will give us maybe three or four weeks. You'll be big as fans. Is this going to be like a boot camp? Like I've got to work hard? We've got different angles. Karlyn's good with the history.

She's diehard. Because I want to be like a full... Understand it all. I'll be onto the trends. We've got some TikToks we can do. We've got some trends. Let's do it. Okay, I'm going to talk.

You're not going to be a local. You're going to be the biggest Swifty. What does that mean? Am I a local? What's a local? Locals are like the fans that go to the concert that know a little bit but don't know everything. Oh my god, that was me at the last concert. Yeah. Was that me at the last concert? You're a local, babe. It's fine. It's not a bad thing.

But you're going to be a diehard. It feels like it's a bad thing. You're going to know what she wore to her prom. But what is going to happen if diehard. It feels like it's a bad thing. No, no, no. It doesn't sound like a bad thing. You're going to know what she wore to her prom. But what is going to happen if we do this for four weeks? I become a Swifty. There's no tickets available. I'm not taking the ones we're giving away. That would be selfish.

Well, we'll go on the live streams, you and I. We'll watch the live streams together. Can I still get an outfit? Yeah. I'll be dressing up to watch the live streams from Auckland. Don't you worry. Can I get her dating history? Am I going to know all this? Yeah, a little be dressing up to watch the live streams from Auckland. Don't you worry. Can I get her dating history? Do I make her know all this?

Yeah, a little bit. It's not the most important. Okay. Oh, I see. I've already hit a sour point there. Yeah, you have. She gets critiqued too much for her dating life. Okay, Project Swifty.

Right. So, your homework for this week. I've got homework? Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay. It's going to be fun work. Mm-hmm. Okay.

It's like home play. And then after this, I'll teach you guys everything about Queen. Yeah, perfect. And where was Freddie Mercury from. For sure. I might check my schedule. Yeah, okay. So what's my homework for this week?

So homework for this week is to go head over to Netflix. This is an easy one. Head over to Netflix. I've seen it. Watch her documentary, Miss Americana. You're already there. I've seen it, I think. I think I watched some of it. Oh, we'll re-watch. It-watch it's a good reward and then also because you need to see a concert

to just know what the atmosphere is like okay how much she performs she's a theater kid oh my goodness she's a theater kid she's just like i'm hooked in there yeah on youtube illegally but don't tell anyone she has the 1989 world tour when you say anyone like everybody listening right now we've got quite a few listeners apparently no as long as they don't tell YouTube

oh yeah don't tell YouTube the 1989 world tour is uploaded onto YouTube okay and in exchange can we send her the recording of my show

and she can watch mine yeah for sure we'll just call Taylor up yeah exchange okay so I'm gonna watch the doco and the the concert

yeah project Swifty Sprout begins. I think you've got your work cut out for you. I'm ready for it. I'm ready for the challenge. Do you want me to do Hayley's version of Taylor Swift? Because she's got a much higher voice than me. Yeah, let's do it.

It's you! Nope. Let's let you get your falsetto back. Yeah, let's get my falsetto back. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. This is one of my favourite texts we've ever received. Hey, if Mia can become Princess of Genovia, Hayley can become a Swifty.

Did you get that reference? The Princess Diaries? All good. I forget you're men. I forget you're men. I think I'm in the company of women and then I forget you're men. Was that the Anne Hathaway one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know. Princess of Genovia. No, I'm familiar. I've never seen it. Now, devastation sweeps the country. It sweeps the world right now. Annapool. Hawaii.

That's heartbreaking. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, that's insane. Wow, now you've mentioned that, it's really going to put this next story in perspective. Oh, Ukraine. Ukraine? No.

The ongoing conflict with, no? No. Famine? No. Famine? No. Okay. Political unrest? General political unrest? No.

Surely you know this. Anna Paul... Systemic racism? Only fans influencer Anna Paul, a 24-year-old from Australia, has broken up with her boyfriend. By the way, it's worth like $6 million. And it's huge online. Same. Not.

I'm just looking down the list of things that I should be concerned about, and this doesn't seem to be on here. Is Anna Paul not there? I thought I saw Anna Paul, but it's Amazon deforestation. Oh, deforestation. Well, the girlies told me this morning that people are devastated. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

Shannon wanted a day off work. Yeah, she tried to call in sick, and we were like, no, no, we're all sick. Yeah. It, my gosh. Okay. Shannon wanted a day off work. Yeah, she tried to call in sick and we were like, no, no, we're all sick. Yeah. It's been a hard week. Weekend. Who is these people? They're an OnlyFans couple. Is it Anna and Paul or her surname is Paul?

No, so her name's Anna Paul and she's been dating a guy called Glenn since she was about 14. Okay, what are they, 80? Anna and Glenn. She's 24. She's my age. And they what are they, 80? Anna and Glenn. She's 24. She's my age. And they have been together since they were kids. Sorry.

Love that you just keep reminding us you're 24. Yeah, we know. They've been dating each other for years and basically she's an influencer on TikTok.

People love her content. She travels around the world but she's also an OnlyFans creator. She's the number one creator in Australia. I mean, looking at her pictures I can see why people follow her. Yeah, sheans creator. She's the number one creator in Australia. I mean, looking at her pictures, I can see why people follow her. Yeah, she's gorgeous.

I thought the number one OnlyFans Australia was the girl that was funding her V8 supercar dream through OnlyFans. Maybe no, not anymore. Because we spoke to her years ago, and she was worth millions of dollars. Yeah. Didn't even need like a mortgage. Nah, she just went investing in order to get back into V8 supercars.

Is there a more Australian thing you've ever heard in your entire life? Next she'll be buying the Rabbitohs or something. Oh, yeah. Because she's from the Goldie. She'll be buying the Titans. Wow, so all this chick does is like she travels around to like everywhere in a bikini. And I'm not saying that's not a bad way to make money. Hell, if I had those, I'd post on those assets.

I would be posting. But her content's not all about those kind of things. She's a real wholesome influencer. And I know that sounds contradictory. But her content is showing her family traveling around the world. And her mum does home cooking. And she loves her family. And Glenn is just so nice. People aren't paying for that though, are they?

No, the stuff they pay for is... There's lots of free recipes online. Yeah. You've got to buy the cookbook, you know? If you want them all. She feels like your friend. People have become invested in her life, like any reality star, really. She's kind of a comfort watch, you know? Like if I'm like

oh, not feeling great, I'll be like, oh, just go watch Anna travel around to Germany and go see her mum's first home and stuff like that. And so why are we upset that they've broken up? People break up all the time. They're so cute together, though. Some people on TikTok are like, they were the only

reason that we believed in love and now it's gone. He would do very cute things like she would fall asleep and he would take her makeup off. He was videoing it. No, he wasn't. He was doing it for content. Vaughn, love is dead now.

Love is content. Is that what you're telling me? Love is content. Love only exists if it's in content form. Anna and what is his name? Glenda. Paul. Anna Paul and Glenn have split. Now love is dead, so I'm going to leave Aaron. This is what it's telling me.

It's like, why bother? Why bother? I never get upset at celebrity. I'm just literally trying to think if I've ever been upset at a celebrity separation. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes really shook me. It really rocked my world. For Siri's sake. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For Siri's sake. I tell you what, if David and Victoria Beckham split up, I'd be pretty sad. Because they're like... What, you just think they're cute together? And also just like surviving Hollywood together is like pretty amazing. Or surviving stardom.

And surviving sexy nannies. Remember that? Don't forget it. Yeah, I do remember sexy nannies. Oh, yeah, they had a sexy nanny, didn't they? Yeah. Sexy nanny debacle. Yeah.

Oh, well. Always hire an uggo nanny. That't they? Yeah. A sexy nanny debacle. Yeah. Oh, well. Always hire an uggo nanny. That's the key. Always go ugly on your au pair. Yeah. Or babysitter. Yeah. Always go ugly.

Like next level thug. You know what I mean? Like a dog. Yeah. Play Zed-N. Let's go to Nelly. Play Zed-N. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.

Who's got the best abs in Hollywood? Chris Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth does have great abs. There's no doubt about it. Ryan Gosling had abs in the Barbie movie, didn't he? Yeah. Ryan Gosling was in Good Nick in the Barbie movie. He was in Good Nick.

I just Googled best abs in Hollywood. There's the ripped Zac Efron abs. Oh, yeah. Yeah, ripped Zac Efron. Yeah, but he was miserable. He hated that. Because he was too ripped. Mark Wahlberg's got a good set of abs.

Matthew McConaughey does abs well. Yeah, because he's got a long torso. He's got a nice, enough space for it. Yeah, because he's got the eight pack. Eight. One, two, three, four. What about Channing? Ryan Reynolds has the traditional six pack.

Okay. How embarrassing for him. Ryan Gosling. One, two, three, four. Eight pack. Okay. How embarrassing for him. Ryan Gosling. One, two, three, four. Eight pack. Counting abs? Eight pack. Because that's what today's Fact of the Day is about.

Do me next. Do me next. You. How many abs do I have? Count them. The amount of abs you can get is predetermined. Why is he ignoring you? He won't look at my stomach.

He won't look at my guts. One. One. Two. Big guts. One. Two. Big ab. Three. Three? Two on the left, one on the right.

It's predetermined how many abs you've got. So either six or eight? You can have up to, what was the maximum? Twelve. What was the maximum? So. What was the maximum? So you can have different, like, it's predetermined by your genetics if you were going to have a four-pack, a six-pack, an eight-pack

at the long end of the scales. Right. Yeah. Oh, my God. If you look at abs too long, they're actually really weird, not that attractive. They're like weird lumps. Aren't they?

They're just weird lumpies. Oh, yeah. See, those ones. I'm on a bodybuilder. What is that, an eight pack? That's a 12. That's a 12. That looks ridiculous.

That's ridiculous. That's too long. I mean, no, no, they can't help that. Oh, yeah, they can't help that. But they can. They just start doing sit-ups and crunches and stuff. Yeah. And they're more chippies.

Cover it up. Cover it up. They're disgusting. But that's heading down to your pubis mondus. You know, like that's heading right down. Your abs are getting all the way down to your cock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right the way down. If you've got no abs, that's your parents genetic fault.

Well, it's my Celtic blood. Someone's stacked a lot of abs on top of abs. Someone's in a Photoshop of like 24 abs. His arms are short. My Celtic blood of if you're going to gonna eat You better hold on To some of that energy

Yeah Yeah same Has led to that My body is a Is a caveman And thinks that We're not sure When the next meal's gonna come

So we'll just hang on to fat So you better hold on To a lot of it Even though we've got 24 hour restaurants Yeah Yeah Okay

And we have done for a long time Back it up No one told my abs No one told my genetics Go back and tell my ancestors Okay Chill on that There'll be enough in the future And we have done for a long time. Back it up. No one told my abs. No one told my genetics. Go back and tell my ancestors. Okay. Chill on that.

There'll be enough in the future, but you've just got to survive to get there. So it's predetermined how many you'll have. Yeah. Like numbers wise. But it's just up to you to uncover them. So when you uncover them is when you'll find out how many you have. Okay. Unless they're under there and you can like feel the gaps. And then you can kind of work it out.

And if it's going to be 12, is it worth it? Women too because we're much smaller. Yep, smaller but you've got abs under there too. Yeah, more belly fat to work through. Well, you've got to. There's a healthy level, isn't there? Got to keep the baby I'm not having warm, you know. Good thing my hips have spread to make room for this baby.

That's not going to happen. You're choking up Vaughan. Yeah. If there was a baby in there, this baby's warm. I've got the hips. I'll be able to squeeze it out of my non-existent. You have got great child-bearing hips. I do.

And thank you for noticing. It's not a lot of an hourglass, our Vaughan, is it? Well, often it goes, you know, it's not spoken about. People don't know that, but the Coke bottle was based on me. Yes. On Vaughan's delicious hourglass figure. Stunning. Beautiful.

Well, today's fact of the day is whether you're going to have four, six or eight abs, it's not up to you at all. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Day, day, day, day. or closest mate? There's two sorts of people in the world at the moment. Those that are sick and those that are travelling. Yeah, oh my God. Because it's August, it's Edinburgh fringe time so a lot of comedians,

actors and that are all over in Scotland and then jumping around. Seems like every second New Zealander is in Europe. I know. And so many people online have been sharing

these disastrous things that are happening to them. And then I saw... It's hard for me to feel sorry for them. Yeah, no sympathy for me to them. And then I saw... It's hard for me to feel sorry for them. Yeah, no sympathy for me. No. And then I saw comedian Brinley Stent,

and a good friend of mine, was in Heathrow, which is one of the most chaotic... She's my friend too. She's my friend too. She's my friend too. I'd play Dungeons and Dragons with her. And she's Jared's friend as well.

She's a fleeting acquaintance. Yeah, fleeting acquaintance. You'd say hello, but you wouldn't text her when anything big happened in your life. Even if I walk past in the street, I'd probably pretend to be on my phone. Duck. Fleeting acquaintance. Fair enough. Well, she's in Heathrow at the moment.

Well, she's not anymore. She went to, she was performing in London. I think she was on the Amalfi Coast where every second, asshole. Yeah. But when she was trying to fly from London over there, she got to Heathrow and shared that she had forgotten her passport, that she'd left it.

Where? At her friend's house, Alice Sneddon, a fellow New Zealand comedian who lives there now, who lives out of town. So, so far away. And she was sharing it about that she'd left it there and then she had to get Alice to like put it in an Uber and Uber the passport

all the way to the thing. I think she had something like five minutes left on the gate to get through there. So she literally got there with five minutes to spare. Yeah and she filmed the whole thing. It was very, very tense and it arrived and she made it fly and now she's in a mouth end and I have no sympathy for her, the stress she went through.

People have been sharing these online like people packing their passport in their check-in luggage. Oh no. I don't know how you do that because you have to show your passport, right? Yeah, or maybe they get there and it's like, where is it? You go look for it and it's actually packed with you

the whole time. I've done a few dumb things. I, you know, in Paris there's two airports. One is not as used and one is Charles de Gaulle, which is the bigger one. I went to the wrong one for my, I had like a small connecting flight somewhere. And I turned up and for some reason my immediate reaction was I rung my mum in New Zealand. And she was like, babe. Yeah, I'm in New Zealand.

I don't know what you want me to do about it. Like, go here. Go do this. Go this. Oh, wow. And I missed my flight. Another one I did was I was flying to Venice from Barcelona. And there were huge queues at the Barcelona airport.

Yeah. And I was in the queue. And this woman was coming down being like, Venezia, Venezia, Venezia. And I thought she was saying Valencia. And I was like the queue and this woman was coming down being like, Venezia, Venezia, Venezia. And I thought she was saying Valencia. And I was like,

well, we're not going to Valencia. The oranges. Was she offering you oranges? No, she was saying Venezia, as in who's going to Venice.

That's how they say Venice. And I thought she said Valencia where we're not going. So I just ignored it. And then got to the front. They're like, your flight's left. And I was like,

oh. Oh, so she would have got you to the front of the line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, if you're going on this flight, come forward because it's going to leave and you're not going to make it. So then we got to spend another day. Why are these people speaking different languages? It's very rude. How dare

they go around saying... In their country. In their country, the name of the place and their language. Yeah, it's very rude. It confused me in another way. It's racist. So we thought on the back of the place in their language. Yeah, it's very rude. It confused me. It's racist. So we thought on the back of this online trend

we'd share these stories this morning because it is quite funny. We can laugh now. You give us your dumbest ones. Where did you leave your passport? Where did you,

you know, what did you leave in the bloody hotel safe? Maybe you missed up the airports. Messed up the airports or even the wrong day. Thailand's got two airports.

I know people that have been to the wrong Bangkok airport. Yeah. missed up the airports. Messed up the airports or even the wrong day. Thailand's got two airports. I know people that have been to the wrong Bangkok airport. Yep. Don't do it. 0800 DARS at MSN number. You can text through 9696. We want to hear your dumbest travel mistakes. We want to know your silly, stupid travel mistakes. Kimberley, this

was your brother. Yes, yes it was. Sorry. How bad did he mess it up? So this was just last week, and he was leaving New Zealand to go to Singapore, I believe. He thought his flight was on Wednesday night. So on Tuesday night, he's just at home.

He's getting ready to go to bed, and he gets an alert on his phone to say that his flight is leaving in two and a half hours. Did he make it? Is that that weird flight that leaves at, like, 10 minutes past midnight? Yeah, yeah. Yes, it is. Yeah.

And so did he make it? He did. He threw everything in his suitcase, and my dad drove him to the airport, and he made it. Wow, done, sir. Because I've seen that flight. You're like, oh, yeah, I'll go. It'll be just after lunchtime.

And then it's actually that day, but it's at the very start of the day. Yes, yes, yes, yes. It's a weird flight time, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So he was really lucky. And he made it. He made it.

That's so stressful. Yeah. Amazing. Thanks. You're called Renee. How badly did you mess up? Okay, so this is a friend's story. It was about 15 years ago.

Yep. She was a teenager, so fair enough that this happened, but then kind of not. So she was flying out in about two weeks and she hadn't ever flown before, so she needed a passport. Right. So she got a fast track, everything. Passport arrives.

She gets to the airport. She checks in and she hands over her passport. And the lady at the checkout is like, oh, you're going to the South Island. You don't need a passport. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Fast track is expensive. Yes.

Exactly. So she got so much crap from all of us. That is something you're never told. And if your parents don't travel you around a lot, you just don't know. You don't know. If you've never travelled before and your first time on a plane is to the other island in New Zealand and you're like,

do I? Yeah. I mean, you can Google now. You can Google now. That's something you can Google now. Imagine if the taxi driver... Yeah, it wasn't that long ago, right? So, like, she should have now. Oh, my God. You can Google now. That's something you can do. Imagine if the taxi driver... And it wasn't... Yeah, it wasn't that long ago, right? So, like, she should have known.

But she didn't. I mean, she's going overseas. Yeah, she's overseas. She's overseas. Yeah. Cooked straight is a C. It's a C. It is amazing, Renee.

Thank you. I think our audience is a bunch of silly bullies from these messages that we're receiving of your dumbest travel mistakes. We've all made them. You've got the wrong airport. Yeah. I got the wrong airport. Two airports in Paris, heads up.

Make sure you know which one you're flying out of. I'm so organised. I know. I'm so organised as a traveller. I just love travelling, but everybody makes mistakes. Have you made mistakes? I don't know. Everyone makes mistakes. Have you made mistakes? I don't know. There was one. I don't know.

Everyone makes mistakes. Have you made a mistake? No. Never. No, I didn't know that you needed a yellow fever certificate to get into a country from Brazil. Oh, right. Which I had, but I didn't have my travel pass, my vaccination passport on me.

Dumb dumb. Dumb dumb. Such a dumb dumb. Such a dumb dumb. Bronte messaged on Instagram saying she forgot we needed a visa and to LA to transit and we missed our flight. How did they even let you on the flight though? They're so anal about that.

Because you're transiting through it. I don't know it. Don't know. Accidentally threw my passport in the hotel bin in Egypt along with some food scraps. Oopsie daisy. That's an expensive mistake. Ben, what was your silliest travel mistake?

Your dumbest. Yeah, well, back when I was about 14 or 15 and I was being held up at the airport because my older brother and sister, I come from a very prestigious family of airport liability. Right. Okay.

Online. We'd been to Australia and been through the markets and my sister had an ornamental snake in her bag and my brother had an ornamental knife. her bag and my brother had an ornamental knife so they were both taking the time coming through awesome wow being an absent-minded 14 year old I had left my backpack under the seat and then when we finally got going I got home and realized I didn't have my backpack and so I'm kind of sitting there my mum's going well you bloody had it I know I saw you on the plane. So she thought, I'll give the airport a call

and just see if it's there. And she said, oh, is there a black backpack there somewhere? And they said, oh, the one sitting under the chairs over there? Yep, yep.

We're about to get the bomb squad. Is that yours? She said, oh, yep. They love getting out the bomb squad for a bag, don't they? Yeah, that was, it was a real time

that you couldn't leave a bag or it's bomb squad time. Yeah, well, this is probably about 2007, so we're not far from 9-11, so probably a bit sensitive. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so my mum, dear old mum's like, oh yeah, if you just put the

bag at the info desk, we'll come and get it now. And they're like, we're absolutely not touching it at all. You have to come and get it from where you've left it. God, calm down, eh? Yeah, alright, Catherine. Amazing, Ben. This is not her locker. Amazing. Ben, thanks for your call.

Anonymous, this is your friend that made a dumb travel mistake. What was it? Yeah, so we were living in the UK, and we'd just finished our, like, you know, UK time, and we were all doing a big trip on the way home, and she's Aussie, she has a Kiwi boyfriend, and there was another Kiwi and a British, and they went to go to Brazil,

so I was doing South America for a few months. And they were all teasing her because she had booked the whole trip. Like, don't you need a visa? Don't you need a visa? And then the air hostess overheard her and she's like, yeah, as an Aussie, you need a visa to get in. So she literally got kicked off the plane as she was walking in. And she would say to them, look, you've got to go because we can't re-get these tickets.

So she got off, had to go back through immigration, but her UK visa had expired. So she got off, had to go back through immigration, but her UK visa had expired, so they thought she was trying to overstay. So she was interrogated for like two or three hours. Oh, my God. She had a cell phone. She'd given us her OysterCard.

They had no way to get anywhere. Eventually rang my brother-in-law at the time, and he said, look, I'll give you a cab, get you there. Got back, opened a bag, had her boyfriend's bag, so had no clothes of her own. And he's in Brazil rocking her bikinis kind of thing. Eventually, she went over, got a visa, got to go a week later. Oh, wow. But the stress of that day, you'd just be like, no.

Yeah. Brilliant, anonymous. Thank you. Some messages in to finish. A cat messaged in. I arrived in a jet. A cat messaged in. A cat messaged in. Well, meow to our cat listeners. Meow, meow, anonymous. Thank you. Some messages in to finish. A cat messaged in. I arrived in Germany. A cat messaged in. A cat messaged in.

It says, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, quarantine, meow, meow. Arrived in Germany for a wedding. Yeah. Immigration asked to see the invite and I'd left it in New Zealand. Yeah. Wait, why did the Germans need to know if I'm here? There's a couple of things like that. I remember reading about that stuff,

when you're trying to prove why you're in the country and if you're there for a short time, then what are you doing? Yeah. Why do they need to know? So the invitation can help. That's none of their business. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, but they want to know that you're legit. And that you're legit going to leave. Yeah. Really? Yeah. So you've got to take that. I could make the invite on Photoshop and print it off at home before I leave. Yeah. Yeah. Really? Yeah. So you've got to take that. I could make the invite on Photoshop and print it off at home before I left. Yeah.

Yeah. I know. It seems like a weird thing to fall back on. If you've got a passport, which is a far harder document to get. Yeah, but if you've got a flight out of the country, why do they care? Yeah. That's weird. It was their wedding invite, but she'd left it in New Zealand and she said it was a real headache.

What a pain in the ass. I mean, Germany of all places. I still haven't forgiven. Not 100%. Not 100%. It's not even been 100 years yet. Just at arm's length. Yeah, I'll be...

Excuse me, just wait there. Oh. Who did you tell me you were? Yeah, that was my tum-tums. That was my tum-tum-tums. Hey guys, I reckon that was the most fun I've ever had on a show. Oh, not for me. Vaughan?

Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. Nowhere even close. You haven't been here long, have you? No, I haven't. No. Well, if you were listening and you had fun, why don't you give us a little review and a rating?

ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.