ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 14th August 2024

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchvaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletchvaughan and Hayley is back today. I am back. With her lozenges.

I've got my Viralax, which I attribute. You've used all the wrong vowels in that word as well. It's Viralax. It is Viralax. Not Voralox. Viralax. Viralex. It is Viralex. Not Voralex. Viralex. Viralex. I've got vitamin C.

I've got Barocca. I've got deflamme lozenges. Orange. Orange? I sent Aaron out to get lozenges. He came back with orange lozenges. That's perfectly acceptable. Everyone knows that you've got to get blackcurrant lozenges.

Absolutely not. You're also wrong there, Fledge. But orange is... That's the best flavour for a lozenge. Orange makes me want to be sick. What's that? There's that Manuka lozenge, and they do a blackcurrant. That's yum.

That's my go-to. It's delicious. No, no. I think we'll have this out on Friday. No, no, no. Yeah, final rankings. Final rankings for lozenge flavours. Okay, it is on.

Because orange ain't it. You will see, despite having a sore throat yesterday, they are unopened. I'd rather suffer in silence than have those. Than have an orange lo't it. You will see, despite having a sore throat yesterday, they are unopened. I'd rather suffer in silence than have those. Than have an orange lozenge. I'm feeling better, though. I am feeling a bit better. Well, that's good.

I sound a bit congested, but it's not COVID. But a menthol. Ooh, yeah, no. Yuck. Yeah, dog. Yuck. Yes, yes, yes. Get in me.

That is bottom of the rankings. Save it for Friday. I is bottom of the rankings. Save it for Friday. I look forward to final rankings, lozenge flavors. So do I. I think it will be a heated debate. Your chance, a couple of chances actually on the show this morning to get in the draw to see Sabrina Carpenter live in New York. You've got to be listening for the mother trucker in the song

or the activator. There is a chance before 7 o'clock. The top six on the way, Instagram, are teasing that we'll have more photos in the carousel. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So you're going to be allowed 20 of them. So good because what is it, six or ten at the moment?

I've never filled the ten. I have when I've done like a holiday kind of a... See, I make the effort of doing a video. I do a reel. You do a reel. You do a reel. I'll just chuck some photos there for memory's sake. Lazy.

Lazy. But yeah, I like that it'll be 20 now because that's a good amount. Oh no, it's way too much. This isn't your personal vlog. Yeah, it's exactly that. It's exactly how I view it. This isn't your personal place to share parts of your life, you idiots. This is Instagram.

This is where we make money selling hair products and such. Well, this is what we'll deal with in the top six. Yeah. Coming up. Yeah, the top six are extra photos you can expect to see on carousels.

Next on the show, we're going to talk toasted sammies. Oh, my God. Actually, I just saw that they just did the New Zealand, like... Yeah, dude. ...compilation of best toasted sandwiches in New Zealand. Was that?

Those were the finalists. I think they were the finalists. Yeah, that hasn't been decided yet. Oh, yeah. Good stuff. Are there toasties that we like on there? No, look, they weren't. Criminal.

Criminal. Yeah. Criminal. Yeah, but always good to get a new toasted sandwich spot. Hell yeah. A new Reuben. No, this is a cafe in the UK that sells toasties. They're adding an insurance that you can buy with their toasted sandwiches. Oh my gosh.

Tell you what that is and why next. There is a cafe in the UK. Now, this is a toasted sandwich business in St. Andrews. You can get a cheesy toast. It's called the Cheesy Toast Shack, but you can get a cheesy toasty for £6.75. Shit. That's expensive. Yeah, but it's like...

That's like 14 bucks. Actually, in Auckland. Yeah, actually, if it's a bougie one. If it's a big Reuben, a big cheesy, you know, a proper toasted Sammy. Yeah, with a bechamel. With a bechamel. We're talking about who's got a bechamel in it.

I bet I have a bechamel. Yum stuff. Well, apparently they estimate that this cafe, that 30 customers a day, because it's by the sea, 30 customers a day are losing their toasties to gulls. I punch them. Aggressive gulls. You can't punch them. They're too fast. Now they. I punch them. Aggressive gulls. You can't punch them.

They're too fast. Now they come swooping in. Pull back. Do you know how they're getting a lot of people's sandwiches? People are holding their sandwich up like, Oh, for a photo. Take it then. The gull deserves it.

Yeah, you're baiting the gull. Actually, don't punch the gull if you're doing that, you dummy. So the owners are saying that they're giving customers free replacements for these cheese toasties, and it is costing them hundreds of pounds a day to replace these sandwiches. So what they're doing now is they're offering people that buy a cheesy toasty that are going to go outside and eat it, they're offering a one-pound insurance, a Seagull insurance. That's fantastic.

But how many of these toasties are they selling a day? If it's costing them $100, it shouldn't be on them to replace the sandwich. No. But the minute you're giving you the sandwich,

you're also, this weird human brain thing, you'll be reckless with a sandwich until you've paid insurance on it. And you're like, well, I've got to be careful now. Yeah. I see what you're saying.

Do you reckon? Yeah. It's just making you aware of the I've got to be careful now. Yeah. I see what you mean. Do you reckon? Yeah. It's just making you aware of the fact that gulls are a problem. But that's not like when you hire a rental car and you've got

no excess. I drive reckless because I have one. You drive in full insurance. You drive in full scare the entire way up that mountain. Hey you know how we cringed at a

translated to New Zealand dollars $14 toasty The one that we've bought up on KRO That's $27 my dudes No that's gone up What? No we did not When we went last time it was $24 Because I was like Jesus it's a $25 sandwich

Their basic grilled cheese one is $22.50 It's like thick. We're talking like burger-esque type sandwich. Oh, we're talking a meal. We're talking a full meal. Not like mum's making it at home with a thin sandwich white and a slice of cheese dough.

I challenge you to go out for lunch anywhere in central Auckland and walk away with change from $30. Yeah, yeah, to be fair. Yeah, although you, the other day, when we get scrambled eggs, she got a loophole. she got a loophole. So we always get like a scrambled eggs on toast and mushrooms and stuff,

and it's like 20-something dollars. And it's always a little bit big for me. Yeah. So I went in and I said, can I just get like one piece of toast with some scrambled eggs on it? It was like nine bucks. And I was like, that's crazy.

And it turned out just as many eggs as you and the thickest, fattest bit of toast ever. And I was like, okay. There would have been like four eggs in that thing. I'm going to do that loophole next time we go out. It's a great loophole. I'm going to do that loophole. Don't shut it down.

Don't shut it down. Yeah, it's a sides loophole we'll call that. Yeah. Because they're just typing in bread and eggs. Yeah. But if I said eggs on toast, I'd pay the eggs on toast bill. You'd be paying like $18. No, no.

Unbelievable. Yeah. Loopholes. I also be paying like $18. No, no. Unbelievable. Yeah. Low pulse. I also think me and that waitress have an energy. But that's decided. See, I don't think she likes you. I think we have an energy. I don't know if you do.

I think we might have a bit of an energy. I don't think she likes you. I don't know if anybody at that cafe likes anybody. No, I think they like me. I've tried some of my finest hospitality material. Wait, what? Give us some. Give us some of my Finest Yeah but if you had to deal with Hospitality material And shit Wait what Give us some Give us some of these

Hospitality jokes Oh no I always bounce off It's improv Go go go Hi Hey how are you I'm well What can I get you

Um The loophole Eggs on toast You didn't call it the loophole Oh no I've alluded them to the loophole We only give that to Hayley What do you want

So I'm waiting for this Do you want eggs on toast I'm waiting for this humour. I'm waiting for this improv. It's cold. I'm saying I can't work with this. She's like, yes anding me. But you just said that they're cold and you work your material on them. I've tried when the opportunity presents itself, I pounce.

Bad material. Bad material. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley's. Now, you have a cat. His name is Sir Major Murray Fluffington. Well, no, just Major. Just Major. Not Sir. Not Sir, just Major Murray Fluffington.

Just Major Murray Fluffington. He hasn't been knighted yet. No. So, and what is he? He's a British Shorthair. I did not see many of those at the rescue places, SPCA. No, so when I say I rescued him, it was this breeder that was holding him captive.

Right. And I paid a lot of money for her to release him. So you paid what you would pay if you were spying on him. It was very similar to what's just happened recently with this incredible complex hostage negotiation release with Russia and America. Right. Took a few months. So what was the negotiation process? I want him.

This is how much this is going to cost. Yeah, you've got to wait until he's old enough for me to release and neuter and then you give me the money and I'll send you the cat. It feels like you bought a cat. No, it's called rescuing. I don't know. Yeah, it doesn't feel similar to the process that I went through to rescue Raleigh.

Well, just because it wasn't the SPCA. Well, yeah. It's just interesting. Anyway, so he's a British short hair. So he's like half blue, half white and that's just interesting. Anyway. Right. So what is he? He's a British. A British short hair. A British short hair. So he's like half blue, half white. Wow.

And that's why he's silver. Okay. So he's not the traditional British blue. Right. Okay. Because there is a British short hair cat. His name is Traeger. That's a British blue.

Yeah. Yep. He is from the Kapiti Coast. However, his owner also, what's the word you say, rescue? Rescue, yeah. Rescued him all the way from Belgium. He was actually shipped over to New Zealand because he was so cute. So he's a Belgian blue.

Yeah, I guess so. Okay, rather than a British. He's a Belgian British short hair. Well, he's a British short hair with a Belgian passport. Exactly. He just won the New Zealand Cat Fancy National Supreme Award. Do I have a fair... So technically you're saying I've won.

You actually could enter Major Mars if he would leave the house to go somewhere. The only thing is, and I never thought I'd say this about Major Mars, you've got to fatten him up because look at this winner. He's a chonky. He's a chonky. Chonky, wonky, chonky. That's so cute. So he just won the Supreme Award.

I don't think we should be fat-shaming pageant winners. Actually, I think it's nice to see a bit of size at a pageant. It's nice to see a plus-size cat winning a pageant. It's nice to see someone in the plus size category taking up the supreme title. Maybe we stop calling plus size models plus size models. Let's just call them models. Just call them models. It's nice to see a model cat.

That's beautiful. It's just nice to see a cat winning a cat con. It's nice to see a cat winning a cat con. It's nice to see a fat ass with a sash around it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So yeah, there was the National Cat Show. Held in part Mr. North.

Now we should have travelled for this. We really missed that. I would travel for that. He cleaned up in all of his categories, but then took out the New Zealand Cat Fancy. Yeah. 2024 National Supreme. I can't see Major Murray Fluffington letting me,

like he doesn't even like going in the car to the vet. But not even to win all these awards. Look at him. Look at his prizes. He's so cute. How does he just sit there? I guess these cats that are constantly in cat shows are just used to it, right? I think you just train them from a kitten to be a show cat.

So he's got like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten ribbons behind him. He won a cage with New Zealand Cat Fancy 2024 National Supreme Winner on it. He's got a cooling pad, but his is way cooler than your Teemu piece of shite. He's got all sorts of cat foods and trophies. He's won a cooling pad, but his is way cooler than your Timu piece of shite. He's got all sorts of cat foods and trophies. He's won a scooping litter tray. A scooping litter, self-cleaning litter tray. A drinking fountain just like yours. Yeah, this is good stuff.

He's cleaned up. Well, I don't need to enter my cat because my cat's basically one of those cats. I just kind of buy. You don't get to share the title Because they have the same breed Does Major Miles have amber eyes? He does eh? A little bit yeah But in saying that

If Miss Venezuela won Miss World And you had a Venezuelan partner You'd be like Told you I've nabbed a hottie Yeah Globally recognised Globally recognised hottie

Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley Vaughn and Hayley. Vaughn and Hayley's silly little pole. Silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole. Silly little pole.

Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Which is the best back seat? That is today's silly little part. We're going on a road trip to New Plymouth this weekend. Yeah. And I tell you what, as long as I get, I don't want the middle seat.

As long as I get a side seat. How many's in your car? Three. I don't care. We might take two cars because no one wants a middle seat. Right. Well, that's the research that stacks up here too. Okay. 12% voted for the middle as being the best back seat.

20% like to sit behind the driver. And 68% like to sit behind the passenger. Because then you can have good chat with the driver. I like being in the middle if there's no one else in the back. If I get into an Uber and I'm in the back, I go passenger. Because then you can see them. You can see the driver. I just get into an Uber and I'm in the back, I go passenger because then you can see them. You can see the driver. I just like the passenger

also, you can be like, can you put your seat forward a little bit more? Yeah, and then the driver, you can't really be bothering them for more leg room. Yes, that's true. They need their legs to drive. What were you going to say about me? What were you going to say? Say it to my face. No, if you drop me off home, I'll sit in the back on the passenger side so that I can... Yeah, it's really weird. Yeah.

Never gets in the front. No, he loves sitting in the back. And he puts his ear pods can Yeah it's really weird Yeah Never gets in the front You know he loves sitting in the back And he puts his ear pods in Yeah Doesn't want to talk to the Uber Why don't I

I don't like talking to the driver And he winds down the window and then I can see him taking photos of me And he's like sending them to

friends and stuff Yeah Yeah Bitching about me She doesn't look like her ID Yeah Yeah

It stinks in here I think this is a taxi that just took down its sign. Yeah. It's running a double life. It's running double shifts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grace says behind the passenger is better views. Which is true in New Zealand. I mean, everywhere, right? Because on the other

side of the world, people that drive on the other side of the road also drive on the other side of the car. But you're on the side of the road, so you get an uninterrupted view of the countryside. I also, growing up, was of the car. Yeah. But you're on the side of the road, so you get an uninterrupted view of the countryside. I also, growing up, was behind the driver. Oh, were you? That was my spot in the car. Yeah.

So I'm just used to that. What, mum's front passenger? Yeah. Brother's on the left, you're on the right. Mm-hmm. Oh, you always had the same. Yeah, always had the same. We used to fight it out.

Really? My sister was always in the middle as sort of a barrier to stop you fighting. Of the fighting. Yeah. And, yeah, we just sat. Oh, yeah, you were three, yay. Yeah. Squished.

Did you do corners? Nope, because we would have got a smack. Oh. Lots of smacking in the car. Oh, yeah, reaching back for a smack. There was a bit of Alcathene pipe, probably yay long. What's that? Three foot long. Mm-hmm. And if thereene pipe, probably yay long. What's that? Three foot long.

And if there was fighting, we were warned. And then if we continued, the alkathene would just fling wildly, not looking. Right, just hit all of you. Just try it. And he wouldn't stop until he made three connections. Boom, boom, boom. One person could get all three. Right.

But my sister was in the middle and small. She'd pull right up. Yeah. And then it would just be whacking around the legs. And it sister was in the middle and small. She'd pull right up. Yeah. And then it'd just be whacking around the legs. And you'd be in the corners. At least he gave you a warning though. Well we got a warning. That's nice. A warning ignored. Because we were just two but we had an armrest. I remember thinking

we were pretty swish. An armrest? You know the ones that like open up. Yeah yeah. The red falcon that dad bought when we were kids had an armrest, but because my sister was always in the middle of the armrest, never got used. Boy, we hated her.

You're in the way. I remember we got drinks. On the very rare occasion we got Mackie D's, we'd make her hold our drinks because we couldn't access the armrest. The drink holder. One time we tucked the drinks in behind the seat. Of course, bad idea. That's extra thing and it spilled

and then there was another alkothene pipe. A lot of hidings. A lot of hidings. Yeah. Maybe the weird man I am today. Ashley says, behind the driver because the front passenger can turn around and look at you easier.

Yeah. Behind the driver? Yeah, behind the driver so that the person in the shotgun can turn and talk. Right. Poor driver. Okay, that's, well, the driver's being excluded. You could ask the driver. The driver's busy driving.

I hate it when I'm the driver and I'm being excluded. Like I'm just there to serve the car. I hate when you're driving and everyone just goes to sleep. Hate it. Oh, my God. How dare you? I'll just crack the radio. Yeah. I'll tune in to Zedim. Sade says, I might have a Hate it. Oh my God, how did you? Oh, just crack the radio. Yeah.

I'll tune in to Zedim. Sade says, I might have a little nap. I'm like, the hell you will. Yeah. And then you start like doing a bit of a swerve, bit of a break.

She's always napping. This woman. She's a tired, snap-cold child. She loves a nap. The other day, she didn't get her nap. Christ alive.

Right. She's the world. Sam said, I'll sit behind Whoever's the shortest In the front That's my rule Morgan

In the middle So I have A less chance Of power chucking On everyone She must need A field of vision Yeah

She must be able To see straight But also if you're a chucky You need to be next To a window Or have a sick bag And if you're a chucky I'd give you the front seat.

Because I'm... Oh, I need the front seat. If I'm not driving, I get sick. It's like, whatever. Grow up. I had a friend chuck in the front seat, though, and I had the back window open and it came back in. Shout out to my friend Hayley.

How did they chuck in the front seat? We were coming home from a Marching Nationals and we had a big night and we were driving from Palmy to Wellington. Oh. Windows down. 100 Ks? Yeah, 100 Ks.

Oh no. And she was just like, oh no. And then just tucked her head out the window and it just went out and back in the van and got me and Rachel. Oh no. Close, hey. We're close as a group.

Yeah. That was awful. And it was a ute and it had a tray, like a closed-in tray. And you know how there's like a gap? Yeah. It was all got in there. Oh, yuck. Yeah.

And then to a high-pressure wash. Her husband was not happy. I've been told, says Elliot, that behind the passenger is the safest seat in the car. I don't know if that's the truth. I was always told it was the middle. No, you can't catapult it through the middle. Yeah, but you won't break your head if you bring your seatbelt.

As long as it's not a lap belt, yeah. Yeah, if you've got the cross belt, the middle was good because you won't want to slam your face into the front of the seat. Kirsty said, I used to get horrendously car sick as a child so I needed the fastest access to the side of the road.

Now it feels, so that's passengers behind the passenger that's weird to sit anywhere else. Fleur said, preferably never, ever in the back. But if I have to, the middle, so I can still see out the front window and avoid getting sick. I'm loving hearing from these other adults

about car sickness. There's babies. We should talk about how we can't go on boats. Yeah. Well, next we should all, adults should get together and talk about how to hang on boats. I hate none of this, because I'm grown. None of this. Because I'm a grown woman.

I'm not a small, cold child. If we're on our way to a party and the car is full, then give me the middle seat. I want full vision and full access to the music and banter. But let's be honest, I'm 35 and not going to parties anymore,

so I'll take the back left. You can see yourself in the rear mirror if you're in the middle. No, if you're behind the driver. And that's really awkward and I hate looking up at the mirror and seeing me or seeing them. Yes, catching eyes and you're like, look away. Yeah.

There you go. It's a little poem. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. I am a Spice Girls child. They were my everything when Jerry left I was in the shower and my dad knocked and said

babe you better come out we've got something to tell you and we had a family hooey in the lounge and I burst into tears and I didn't go to school the next day that sounds like your mother and I have something to tell you we're sitting at a horse

I know worse Jerry's leaving the Spice Girls. I was devastated. I literally got the diff. It's cool. So everyone was very excited about the fact that there were rumours that to mark the 30th anniversary of them...

30. Yes, my dude. Wow. Yes, my dude. That's coming up. 30 years of them forming that they were going to have a reunion. All five of them. Because the last time all five of them were together,

I'm pretty sure it was the Olympics, the London Olympics. Yeah, it was. And then they did some tours, but Victoria didn't go because she's like, I've got my own fashion career and I can't sing. I don't think she said the last one. She's like, I've got my family to think about and I've got an illustrious fashion business and I can't sing. I mean, she does have a great fashion business

and obviously is so rich, she doesn't need to do it. And she's like, why would I want to do that? Like, that's distress that I don't need. She doesn't need the embarrassment and the whole internet telling her she can't sing again. That's right.

Yeah. Now, I've been listening to the Spice Girls as of late. I've been on a real buzz. I've been in my car being like, hey, Siri, play. And I've been like, Christina Aguilera, play Britney, play Spice Girl. I played the whole Hanson Middle of Nowhere album the other day.

Top tier album. Anyway, beside the point. I was listening to the Spice Girl. She can sing. She's got a great voice. Anyway, so the, oh Siri, stop. Sorry, Siri heard me. You did say, you did give Siri an instruction. You did say, hey, Siri.

Oh, no, she's listening. Okay. She's just doing her job. Yeah. So then there was a rumour that it was being held up because Geri didn't want to be part of the documentary they were going to be making, a Netflix documentary about the reunion.

How good would that be? Also, how much are Netflix paying the Spice Girls for that? Oyster. It'd be millions. Millions. But apparently it was because she was having some marital issues and didn't want to talk about it

and da da da da and now it's come out that actually Geri doesn't even want to do any of the reunion including a concert because she's got

beef with Mel B now that always had beef anytime there's a problem it's always Mel B at the centre of it she's a naughty little Mel

she's got a big mouth. And you may remember she went on what's that guy? Andy something. Oh yeah, the guy that does the celebrity stuff. And he was like, who's the worst celebrity you've ever met? And she

said, someone who I can't remember who we don't care about. James Corden. Yeah. And she said, and Geri Halliwell. And they were like, wait, hang on a second. She's your bandmate. She's like, oh my God, yeah, like I love her, I love her, I love her.

But she's an absolute pain in my ass. Now apparently Geri is like, I'm actually sick of you speaking about me like this. And doesn't want to do the reunion anymore. So they're fighting. She's like, I've had enough of this. I've got enough to deal with in my life. I've got no patience left with Mel and her little digs and chimes that she keeps making in public. So I'm walking away.

And she doesn't need the money either, does she? Well, but she's having marital problems because her husband is the Formula One boss. Yeah. Yes. He owns a Formula One team? McLaren? One of them. Yeah.

He was on the Netflix series, wasn Wasn't he Christian Horner is his name Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah so he owns one of the teams I'm not sure which one But yeah We're real good at sports eh We're done

We've done sports So done done good This show's Strength Is it's sporting knowledge Sports knowledge Yeah Red Bull Racing

Red Bull there you go It's the principle of Red Bull Racing Fletch, Thorne and Hayley Sports out harder Not laugh out louder It's the principle of Red Bull Racing. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley sports out harder. Not laugh out louder. It's sports out harder. It's sports out harder. He's only 50.

I thought he was older than that. Yeah. Well, she said that she just doesn't want to even be in a room with her, let alone go on stage with her. They are fighting. Can I say it? They've had too many reunions. Oh, you reckon you've got to do it properly once.

You get one. Yeah. You don't get to every few years be like oh, we're thinking about doing a reunion and people are like, ah. It's like you did that a couple of years ago. Yeah. Fair call. I just read this and I don't know if you've heard this before. So in 2019 Mel B claimed

that her and Jerry had a one night stand. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, I do too. I did not know this. Had a one night stand and then she made a one-night stand. Yeah, I remember that. I did not know this. Had a one-night stand, and then she made a big story about it on Pess Morgan saying, like, oh, she's going to hate me for this because she's sitting in her posh little mansion at the moment and she thinks she's all prim and proper. Oh, okay.

But we shagged. So, yeah, Mel B's got a big mouth and Geri's sick of it, basically. So no Spice Girls reunion at this stage. Well, no official word that it's been cancelled or that it's even happening, but there be beef. He's done it. Done it.

Did it. Done it. Seen it. Been it. Good on you. A mashable, the tech website reporting that Instagram... Also a great way to have potatoes. Mashable.

Yes. They're all mashing your stomach. I think that's why they called it mashable. You'll now be able to share up to 20 photos in one Instagram post. And then the sub-headline, wait, didn't TikTok do this first? Okay. Okay, you've got big Samsung energy there. You've got big Samsung.

They're just all copying each other. Yeah, they saw that it worked for them and they were like, we'll do that too. Yeah, well, you're up to 20 photos now in a carousel or a slide post. So yeah, enjoy. Top six photos you'll see now that you can have 20, not just 10. Number six on the list. Another one of those blurry, oh, my God, we're so fun and silly photos. Oh, no, we just, like, caught it in the moment.

Yeah, it's like when the lights are streaking across and you can kind of make out and it's like the girlies are running down the street or like, eh, Miguel, this is us, chaotic. We got tattoos that say young, wild and free. Yeah. It's so random, but maybe just maybe take a beat and take a good photo. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, they did. They just framed up. It's generally just after that fun one, that blurry, silly one, the real sexy one. Yeah, right. Oh, my God, I'm not even like, oh, I didn't even realise I was wearing a bikini. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've seen me at my fun. Now you get to see my buns.

Yes. Just looking over the shoulder. Ooh-ooh. Number... It's been a while between ooh-oohs. It actually has. We're not ooh-oohing enough on the show. Can we get an ooh-ooh? Ooh-ooh. Ooh-ooh. Ooh-ooh. Your ooh-ooh needs a lot of work, Fletch. It really shows you've not been practicing your oo-oo's.

This is how I oo-oo. That was actually one of my best oo-oo's. Actually, that was really good. Yeah. Stop it. Stop it. Only true. Only true.

It's a little one of those happening every now and then. Oh, it has been a while. Top six photos you'll see on the carousel. I know that you're allowed 20 instead of 10. Number five, three more photos from the 50 photos you made your partner take when you found your angle at the pool. God.

Like, this is the one where I know he's there. This is the one I don't know he's there. I'm just reading a book. It's one of my, that's the funnest thing on holidays when you see boyfriends. Instagram boyfriends. Instagram.

There's a whole like Instagram page for it as well. Boyfriends of Instagram. Yeah, boyfriends of Instagram page for it as well. Boyfriends of Instagram. Yeah, boyfriends of Instagram. So great. And you just see them be like, I'm also trying to have a holiday. Yeah. Saw so much of Mbali. Yeah.

Did you get it? Did you get it? Go again. And then they just go back to moping around. They're not even happy. Oh, no, no, no. They're having the worst time. Yeah.

I said, I took a photo. I said, take a photo of me and whoever we were with and I took it and I go, there you go. She's like, no, take another one.

I said, remember when you were a graphic designer and people would be like, oh no, we want this changed. We want this changed. We want this changed.

We want this changed. And they came back here three times. How annoying that was. It would be better if you guys were better at taking photos though. Aaron,

terrible. My parents, terrible. So wherever I go, I just get no nice photos of me. Fletch, fantastic. Thank you. The rule of thirds.

Rule of thirds. He knows what he's doing. My friends that I was just on holiday with, or one of them, terrible at taking photos. How embarrassing, eh? What am I going to do? What are you doing? Did you teach him?

You can try. Yeah, you can't. Can't teach an old dog new tricks. Yeah, you can try. Number four on the list of the top six photos you'll see on the Instagram carousel now that it's 20 pics, not 10. Another pet picture that we didn't need. We kind of got the idea.

You've got a cat. You've got a cat or a dog. You've got a cat. We saw it. I think everyone wants to see my cat more and more and more. I don't know if they do. It's crazy. Number three on the list of the top six photos you'll see on the carousel now

that you can have 20 instead of 10. I reckon a sunset. Oh, yeah. it's crazy number three on the list of the top six photos you'll see on the carousel now that you can have 20 instead of 10 I reckon a sunset oh yeah 20 sunsets I reckon another sunset 20 angles of that sunset I reckon another sun

another vibe on the sunset maybe when it's just about to disappear yeah which I think is the you know people like to take a photo of a sunset

and include the sunset but that light just after it disappears over the horizon yeah beautiful isn't it? Gorgeous. It's gorge. It's gorge. It's gorgeous. Number two on the list of the top six photos

you'll see on the carousel. I know that there's 20 instead of 10. Maybe a photo of you mid walk up the mount where you're packing a shit about having to walk up the mount before you post a picture at the top where you look all glamorous and stuff. Oh, do you think you've done that thing? You know where you're just randomly selecting what's in your carousel?

You've accidentally selected the one where your partner got you being like oh I hate this. I didn't want to walk up here anyway and you've accidentally uploaded it. I need a break.

I need to stop. We need a break. I need to stop. Why don't you take a seat? No I need a break from us. Us. Fight on the mountain. And number one on the list of the top six photos you'll see on the carousel now,

there's 20 instead of 10, maybe a few pictures where your kid doesn't seem perfect. I know it's their birthday, but knock them down a peg or two. Yeah. Be real. Yeah, maybe get a photo, that photo where your kid's chucking a tanty and they're on the floor and you're like, well, I'll video it and show it to you later,

which also is a great thing to do to your partner. Do you realize how ridiculous you look? I'll take a video so you can look at it later. Don't do that. Do it. No, Vaughn. Roll the dice. What are you doing? They are being a ridiculous lady child. What are you doing? And they need to be videoed so they can see

how foolish they look from this angle. Well, welcome to a life alone, Vaughn. Perfect. That is today's sub-session. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Hayley and I are just discussing our charity. It's nine minutes past seven. The charity you got paid for. Well, I'm not a charity.

Funny, but we're just noting that Fletch is actually not a charity. Fletch, zero charity. I'm very busy. I'm very busy. I'm very busy. Oh, yeah. He's too busy. Doesn't care about kids or birds. Now, the Olympics.

I've got a headache. Yeah, the Olympics. Can I go? No, but I've got a headache. No, just... If I was a woman, you'd let me go. Yeah, we would actually. Okay, I'm just kidding.

Whatever. Let's get on with it then. Stop being bratty just kidding. Whatever. Let's get on with it then. Stop being bratty and drink your water. Let's get on with it then. And there's some headache pills in the... Yeah, do you want some pills?

And Hayley and I share a locker. We've got some headache pills just in case. Yeah. Do you want a couple of... Yeah. Yeah, we'll give you

a couple of panties. We'll give you some panties. We'll give you some panties. Now, the Filipino medalist Carlos Yulo is the first Philippines male to ever win a gold medal. Jim. Yeah. And the Jim too.

Highly contested. Is it? Because we talked in Fact of the Day about countries that have never won. The Philippines was, had never won a gold? No, the woman had won the gold. The woman had won a gold for the Philippines. Yeah, and saying like New Zealand just at the Olympics, just gone, have won more, like Lisa Carrington's won more gold medals than a lot of countries.

Yeah, I know. That's just insane. So because this guy's won a gold medal in the Philippines, it's been a big deal. He's won two gold. He's won two gold. It's a big deal. Huge.

And not only does he get that, and of course the entire nation adoring him. Of course. But he's been offered a lot of free things. And you may have heard this news story when it happened. Free colonoscopies. Which, not to be sniffed at. Well, I get them annually. Are you in the annual?

Yeah. Annually, anally. Because annually, anally, I get them because of my serrated polypsis thing. I grow the polyps. You've got a hung. I've got a hung colon and it fills up with all the polyps. So he's also been given a free condo, like a free apartment. Noodles, ramen.

Free buffet for life. For life. Also, way to blow out after your career, right? Because you know, like you finish an athletics career and like you're not running every day. And gymnasts are lean. They're lean. They stay lean. It's your rugby league players

that are doing training, hours and hours of training every day. And they are just eating and eating and then they stop playing. And stacking muscle. But then they keep eating and then they stop training. But yeah,

the free colonoscopies one is a bit, everyone's like, what? Okay. That's good. Do they have a private healthcare in? I don't know.

Don't know how it works. Because if you didn't have public healthcare, that'd cost thousands of dollars to get colonoscopy. But even if I got free ramen, I don't eat ramen. I'm not a noodles guy. But you'd get into it if it was free. Nah, I don't know if I would. Cause you'd live and cry.

I don't know if I would. That's free. You would always have noodles to give to people. Yeah, you could just, I just give them away. Do you guys want some ramen? I love ramen. This is what I wanted to ask, because a free colonoscopy is, it's an odd prize. Really odd prize.

Have you ever won a prize that you didn't want? Yeah, great. There'd be some terrible, like, what are they called? Consolation prizes, you know, participation. Yeah, or maybe a raffle prize, and you wanted the big, you know, you wanted the load of firewood. I mean, maybe a vegan's won a meat raffle. Yeah, true, yeah. I shouldn't have put my hand up for it.

But, you know, you're going for the big prize and you get a prize that you're just like, what am I going to do with this? Can't even sell it. It's like some of those beauty pageant prizes, they come with like Botox and, you know, plastic surgery and stuff and you're like,

maybe you don't want that. Oh, you want to stay on top of it though? Oh, you do? Well, that felt pointed because I've let mine lapse. Because I've let mine lapse and I can move my face again.

Yeah. You don't want to stay on top of it. Whether it was a prize at a, I don't know, sports tournament or a school or a prize that you got at work and you're like, well, I don't want this. I don't have to read my emotions. Whether it was a prize at a, I don't know, sports tournament. Or a school. Or a prize that you got at work and you're like, well, I don't want this.

I don't want this company branded crap. Some lame, like, $50 worth of paper. And you're like, okay, thank you. We want to know what prize you won that you didn't really want. Because the Filipino double gold medalist in the gymnastics, what's his name? His name is Carlos. Carlos Yulo.

He has won a million dollars worth of prizes, and that's American. Including a resort house, free buffet lunches for life, and free colonoscopies. Yeah, the colonoscopies will be like, that's okay. I mean, you never know when you might need one, I guess. But yeah, some countries do this, like give cash as well to athletes. We give them the opportunity to endorse pet food. Dude, I was just reading an article this morning

about what the Kiwi athletes can expect and how much money. And like some of them will get like brand endorsements, but a lot of it's like, oh, they'll get a huge social media following and then they'll be able to do paid posts and da-da-da-da. And that's not solderspring at all. Not at all. At all. At all. The things we do for our septic tanks.

The things we do for a roof. Some messages in. And I tell you what, I am loving hearing about radio stations. We are the naughtiest of naughties when it comes to prizes. We always send a guy a pair of socks that you got. But he stunked on the socks. He had a great sock.

More socks. That's fantastic. Great prize. Shout out. He messaged me. He's like, I've got the socks. You're a man of your word. And I said, was there ever any doubt Vaughan Smith was a man of his word?

And he's worn the socks multiple times already. Somebody said a local radio station was doing a prize for New Zealand Music Month in May. I won a T-shirt that I rung up and won the prize. Yeah. And they said, congratulations, you've won the New Zealand Music Month prize, which you always did. Yeah.

Please. They sent me, I gave them all my size. They sent me a T-shirt, two sizes too small. And when I was 12, a CD for the album When the Cats Are Away album. Oh, okay. Which at 12 was not at all on my radar. Even at that stage was an album that was probably 25 years old. Similar someone messaged, I want a CD off the radio.

It was meant to be a relevant pop star of the time and what arrived in the post was a Hooper Stank album. Pretty sure they had it performed in 10 years when it arrived. Hooperstank, the reason, is one of the greatest songs ever written. Oh, I'm not arguing with you, Fletch. I'm just reading the message. In fact, have you? Oh, wow. He's quick.

Okay. Perfect. Anyway, that can stay on the background. Other prizes that you won that you didn't want. I won what you there at ZN described as a prize pack. Oh. And it was one Friday Jam CD. Well, that's a pack.

That's not a pack. That's a pack of enjoyment. That's not a pack. A number of different artists on it. When I was in a talent quest when I was 10 there was a table full of prizes so the first got to pick first and then the second got and then second place and then third place etc. We came third

so got the last pick of the prizes and all that was left was a glue stick. You never know. We were talking about table prizes of the table of prizes and your first one there would pick. Always get the best pick. Golf. Heaviest. The only time I ever experienced this

was when I played golf at Intermediate. Amazing. And you just walk up and there was all this stuff. You're like, where'd you get all this stuff? And then you realise

that everybody that plays golf is like a business owner so they just bring in stuff and... Someone said I was about six years old and I entered a colouring competition and got a call saying

I won! Wow. I was so excited. Me and mum went in to collect it and all I won was a single ballpoint pen. We were at a sports club and they said

they were going to do the raffle and there was various prizes for the raffle, one of which was a frozen chicken that I'd watched slowly defrosting in the sun on the table in the club rooms during the event. Guess what I won? The chicken. And I'm a vegetarian. Ooh, a sun-thawed out chicken.

Yeah. Where the sun's almost started cooking the skin a little bit. Does it take like two days to defrost the chicken? When you leave it out? On the bench, yeah. Yeah, but not in direct sun. No, you don't defrost on the bench. You defrost in the fridge.

In the fridge. Which takes longer. Just before. Somebody said, I thought I'd won an Xbox. Oh, that's a good price. No, no, no, sorry. I thought I'd won a PlayStation. Oh, yeah.

So I said to mum, I've won a PlayStation. So it was just before Christmas. Yeah. Mum's like, okay, perfect. Buy your PlayStation games. Anyone that asks what do you want for Christmas,

buy your PlayStation games. A bloody Xbox turned up. I rung the place. I was like, I thought I'd won a PlayStation. They're like, yeah, we bloody Xbox turned up. I rung the place I was like I thought I wanted a PlayStation they're like yeah we did too. So now I had all

the games for a PlayStation but an Xbox. Well it looks like mum's getting you a PlayStation. I would have sold the Xbox and got

a PlayStation. Yeah 100%. Topped it up topped it up a little bit. Somebody said I want a can of fly spray off you

guys once. Yeah well you're welcome. Was it a joke? Promise? Be grateful. Probably. Yeah be grateful please.'re welcome. Was it a joke? Promise? Be grateful. Probably. Yeah, be grateful, please.

Yeah, gosh. Well, send it back then, you rude bastard. Come on. The local pub does a meat raffle. Then there's a jackpot draw for $1,000. And the dud prizes

a roll of toilet paper. Guess what I won? A roll of toilet paper. Yeah. Good from them. I won a prize pack from you guys once. Can't tell if it was shit or not

because it never arrived. We should do a part where you should do a segment of the show where it's like, air your grievances. With radio? Yeah, with the industry. With anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just air your grievances.

Right. Yeah. See, we could have posted that. That could have been the posties' fault. Radio station won a Kim.com album. Radio station. Oh, there's so many. There's a lot of radio there, isn't there? Yeah, a lot of radio. We've got a lot to answer for.

A lot to answer for. Producer Shannon and her magician boyfriend went on a beautiful date. Yeah. Where did you... I know where you Yeah. Where did you, okay, I know where you went. Where did you go? Disney on ice. And why did you decide to go? Well, he pitched it to me.

He said it was real. This was his idea? Yeah. Oh, he's, I mean, he's a magician. He's camp as they come. And he said it was just the most magical thing. And he is your boyfriend? Yes. And you are is your boyfriend? Yes.

And you are not a male? No. Okay, just checking. No, we are happily, heterily together. You just described him as camp as they come. Well, he's a magician. I've just never heard anybody describe their boyfriend unless they are also a boy. A secure girlfriend, thank you.

Yeah. I'm happy. We're good. Camp in a magician way, not a gay way. Yeah, exactly. So, like sequin capes and feathers. I do apologise. I was unaware there was any other type of camp.

No, no, no. There's plenty of camps. Yeah, like sparkles and stuff. Yeah, he likes sparkles. Disney on Ice rules. Yeah, and he said to me, he's like, last time he went, he was a kid, and he said it was the most incredible production.

It was just down the road. We live in town now. And he said, I'd love to take you there. Gorgeous. So he bought us tickets, and he took me on a little date. It was 11 a.m. I was going to say, it must have been early, because I live in the city as well, and I left the gym,

and I was like, why are all these small people dressed as like Minnie Mouse and Disney characters with their parents? Where was it? Spark. Well, they laid down a rink. It was Saturday and Sunday. It was incredible. It's amazing.

Yeah, so we walk up. My dumb kids got too old for it and they don't invite us in. You would have gone. I wouldn't have even taken them. You could have come with us. Well, yeah, so we rock up and, you know, you give security your tickets. And they looked around to, like, see if there was a little kid with us. And where's the wee ones?

And then she said, oh, just the two of you. And I said, yeah. And she said, oh, are you going to try jump on the rink? And I said, no, I'm here to watch. And she's like, just the two of you. Oh, wow. I'm not judged. But to be fair, though, like, I know a lot of Disney adults.

Yeah. Or Disney. Yeah, they love it. And it's sort of amazing. We're not even Disney adults. On Disney, yeah, they love it. We're not even Disney adults. We're just, you know, it was just a great show. But then obviously I had to get merch. So I bought some light up Minnie Mouse ears. Oh shit, that'll drain the wallet.

Well, this was date day. So, you know, money doesn't count. Yeah, that's right. Money doesn't count on date day. Yeah, love is real. I don't know. Is that a thing? I don't know that it's a thing.

So I got my Minnie Mouse ears and I asked if they would fit my adult head and she said she didn't know. And I was like, valid question, I thought. So I just bought them anyway. They did fit. They do hurt after a little bit. Yeah, too tight. I love it when the headband

went right into the bloody side of the brain there. But it lit up and it was real cool because during the show I was like, whoa, everyone can see me. They can see you anyway. How old are you? So then we got some chicky tenders. Oh wow, a grown up meal as well.

A little bottle of coke. Do they serve wine at Disney on Ice? They do, but it didn't feel right. You spent all your money on the merch. Didn't feel right. I bet that didn't stop some parents. I did debate buying a snow cone because they had snow cones.

Shaved ice. Yeah, shaved ice. But Brendan did say to me, he was like, I think we're done. Wait, so money does matter on date night? I think he just was like, I don't want you to be silly later. I think he're done. Wait, so money does matter on date night? I think he just was like, I don't want you to be silly later. I think he just thought like,

how much plastic stuff do we need? I think it was, we live in an apartment, like if we put that in, we can't own any other cups now, you know, that's our application of glasses. Yeah, wow.

And so you would rate this as a great date? Oh, 11 out of 10. It was the most incredible show. It was weird though, all the kids, they didn't get it like I did. Like, Moana came on and everyone lost their mind. But then, like, the OGs came out. They didn't even get their own number. Oh, and then the OGs, they have to work together.

No one wants to see the OGs. We want Moana. We want Encanto. We want Alistair and Anna. Oh, my God, how boring. But they do all the OGs together as the final thing, and everyone starts leaving. Oh, my God.

The disrespect. Is that Minnie Mouse? Literally, Cinderella walked so Moana could run, you know? Yeah, exactly. How dare you? She broke through the glass ceiling. Exactly. Didn't she?

We've got a bit of white saviour going on over here, don't we? Yeah. What about a woman from the Pacific Islands couldn't stand on her own two feet, could she? Okay, also, like, yeah, they were the same with, like, Elsa too, it's fine. Yeah, right. Well, interesting. But yeah, it was such a beautiful show. Did they do good jumps?

Because I went and saw Cirque du Soleil on ice last year, and we fell asleep and then left at halftime because their jumps were like... No, they had ramps. There was lots of aerial dancing. So like every act, there was also like an aerial... To shoes. Yeah, and then there was like

stilt walking, there were bikes. Were Timon and Pumbaa there? Yes, yes, yes. And was Pumbaa still a two-person outfit? Yeah, and then there was... You imagine pantomime horsing

on ice. Yeah. That's what they do for Timon and Pumbaa. It was so cool that I just don't get why kids are allowed to go yeah right

it's the adult timeline I was gonna mock you but we did have the night of our lives at the Wiggles yeah we did yeah the adult Wiggles it was a great show

yeah I just feel like they didn't understand the nuances it was just for you yeah you got it well I shan't be attending

But I'll meet you at the bar afterwards Okay sounds good There is a billionaire His name is Richard Lugner I was going to say was Was Yeah he's dead

He did Richard Lugner. I was going to say was. Was. Yeah, he's dead. He did. Richard Lugner. He's an Austrian entrepreneur and he recently died at age 91. He was in Austria. Yeah. And he was 91. Yeah.

Just saying he would have been around for World War II. Oh, yeah. Might have had some treasures. So he made his money in construction. Yeah. Not Nazi gold. Not stolen. Not Nazi gold. There were some awful things built in Austria in the 1930s.

Well, let's not, you know. But the reason he's in the news is because he'd only just remarried. Yes. He married. Well, it's nice at the retirement village when they find love. Yeah. No, Vaughan. That's not what happened. So he married

Simone Rilanda who is 49 years his junior. Quick maths there. 54 years so she's 40? 42. That sounds like

true love. That sounds like true... For me that feels like she fell deeply in love with him for who he is as a man.

Like looked past the billionaire status. That's my age and my Nan's age. That would be like you me marrying Nan's friend. And she told me like when I talked to her she's like that's the thing about getting to this age. You don't have any friends left. Well you're 42. That's

how old she is. I know that's what I'm saying. I could marry my Nan's friend at her age. Yeah. So she married. She looked past the sagging skin and the limp willy and all of that and just went, I love you for who you are. He doesn't look 91. He doesn't look 91.

He looks pretty good now. That's what happens when you're rich. Yeah. I mean, still old. Mate, he looks really great. But just two months after getting married, he died. Prenup? So she's won lotto, basically.

Holla, we got no prenup. We got no prenup. Was there no prenup? Nah. Surely there was. Or was he like, this is my last one. I don't care. Yeah, what do I care?

Well, when I looked up, was there a prenup? No sign of it. Did he have kids? Any word of his children? Oh, he's probably got great, great grandchildren. Yeah, 91. So He said He said

My wife wears the pants now She could support me actively From now on We'll share my work At some point When I'm no longer here She'll be the sole boss So she like

Oh wait So he was a He was still like Running the company Yeah Jeez Yeah That's pretty well

Kept him going Do you know he used to pay people Like Kim Kardashian And Paris Hilton To be on his arm At swanky you know he used to pay people like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton to be on his arm at swanky events? Like he'd pay them, be like, come to this ball with me, be on my arm. How embarrassing. I mean, yes.

I'd say yes. Do you want a million dollars to do this? 100%. Buy me a nice dress, give me some money and take me to a party. I was born for this job. I'll even stroke your shoulder. I'll even put my hand on your thigh under the table. Have you been with someone

for money? Like, because they had money? Never. Because they were rich? Never, ever, ever. This is what, we asked that question

on Instagram. We did. Anonymous question box. Some replies. I said, in the last two years of my marriage to my ex-husband

for the money. So it was over it, but the money was good. Yeah. So it stayed there. You can imagine though, if you didn't have your own, you know,

didn't have two feet to stand on, you didn't have a career to fall back on. Yeah. You don't understand. Yes, I was with someone for the money, but the sex was so bad

I couldn't fake it anymore. But I got some nice trips out of it while it lasted. Yeah, right. Just chuck a couple of ooh-oohs in there. Yeah, and then take me to Rio de Janeiro

and I'll find my own. You're asleep. April just said, I wish. So I'm not going to leave her anonymous. I'm just letting you know if you know April. She's out there looking for her. Yeah, but what she's saying is who she got ain't got no money and she don't want no scrub.

Ah, right. Hanging out the left side of the best friend's ride. Trying to holler at April? Passengers. Unbelievable. Passengers side. Yeah. She doesn't say, hanging out the left- of the best friends ride. Trying to holler at April? Passengers. Unbelievable. Passengers side. Yeah. She doesn't say,

hanging out the left-hand side. But in New Zealand, the left-hand side is the passengers side. Yeah, but that's not what she said. I just made a local adaption. She's in America. Don't localise. Don't localise.

I localise the LCs. Yeah, don't go chasing rivers and lakes and hookah falls. There's some didymo, so if you could wash your boots, that'd be great. Any more people with people for the money? Sophie said, oh, no, she didn't. Can't read that out now because I said her name. Oh, for God's sake. For an Alan Smith.

This is why normally the names cut from you. Because you are not responsible. Somebody else who's not. Hang on, let me read it. No, no. Well, no. No, for myself personally. Oh, okay, yeah.

Okay. Another message. Technically not with someone, but definitely exploited sugar baby sites during lockdown. Oh, yeah, okay. Lockdown, you would have had to do anything. I've thought about it. Just Zoom.

Zoom sugar babies. What do Zoom sugar babies do? Just say, hey. Hey, let me jiggle and then. Yeah. Here's my bank account. Can I have a handbag? Can I have this?

And then he's like, I'm transferring some money. Now you've got the other window open. You see the money pop up. And then you're like, oh, you hear that go. Pop them out the boobs. Is that how that worked? I don't know. I saw something the other day and it was a kink thing where men like to be,

the kink was that they liked you saying, I'm going to spend all your money. Yeah, financial. Send me more. Financial domination. You were made for that job. I was made for that to be like, send me more and they send you a thousand bucks and you send them a message being like, is that it? I want more. Are you poor? I can't wait. What are you at? You're at work. I'm in the mall ready to spend all your money.

Send me more. You're just describing my marriage. And then they send you more and then you're like, thank you, Daddy, I'm going to go buy a handbag. And you must love it. I hate it. Oh. Wait, it's not a kink for you? It's horrible.

Oh, tell Sade that you're not into it. Taskmaster is out at the moment. Last night was ep three, tonight's ep four, 7.30 on two. And as part of the promotional, I guess, material for it, I did an interview with Woman's Day. Now, I'll never forget the first time I was on Woman's Day. It was a happy moment. My mum was like, ka-ching, she's made the big time.

My girls made it. My girls made it. She's on Woman's Day. Because a lot of people think that people get paid to go in, but they just do it for promotion. No, I think there's a thing they used to pay you if you gave your wedding photos or something like that, but I don't think they do that anymore.

But no, I was just talking promotional staff, I was talking taskmasters, I was talking polycystic ovarian syndrome, I was talking body positivity. And I saw the front cover and I'm in the corner of it saying something like, Hayley's newfound body positivity. And I was like, love this, love this.

Flicking through, flicking through all the pages. There's some great, great people in there. Great articles. It's a must buy issue. Is there a crossword? There's multiple crosswords, my friend. Oh, good. I know.

Okay. I'll bring mine in because I won't do the crosswords. Okay. Yeah. They're a bit easy for me in Women's Day. I like doing the NZ Hero ones, the cryptics. Okay. Because I'm elite intelligence.

And I opened it, and on my two-page spread, there's photos of me, a full written article, and the headline is, I'm happy and horny. That is the titular. Did you say that? I don't remember. Saying it? I don't remember saying it.

I think we were talking in relation to Wild Flutters, my show. Your comedy show about like adult. About adult fun times. Fiction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I must have alluded to my current state of being, which is, as the title says. Perpetually horny.

Happy and horny. I tell you who else saw the magazine headline. My mum. No. And she said, oh, Hayley's in the magazine this week. What did she say? And I said, oh, yeah, I haven't seen it. And she's like, oh, yes, she's happy and horny.

Oh, you had to hear your mum say that. And I said, oh, I don't know how happy she'll be about that headline. And my mum said, well, at least Aaron will be. Oh. It's cute she thinks that he's getting it. It's cute. Yeah. Of course, I mean, where else would I be putting that energy?

Who knows? Oh, that's really sweet. Yeah, well, because my mother-in-law, anytime I'm in anything, I mean, she prefers it when I'm in TV Guide. Right. But she'll always buy it. And we just haven't spoken about it. Because she would have bought it. Because she loves the women's magazines.

Right. Yeah. Catholic. Deeply. Also, every time someone's at a doctor's office waiting for the doctor. For the next 20 years. For the next 20 years, your magazine's going to be there. I'm happy and horny. I'm happy and horny. Won't be in the doctor. For the next 20 years. For the next 20 years, your magazine's going to be there. I'm happy and horny. I'm happy and horny. It won't be in the doctor's office yet.

No, no, no, give it a five year. It starts to look like 2007. Yeah, yeah. It feels to me like this could be a real t-shirt. Right. You know? I'm happy and horny. Maybe you could get it printed onto t-shirts

and sell them as merch at your shows. As merch at my shows. Yeah, I could do that. Anyway, I mean, read the article. It's a great article. But the headline, well, it's one for the books. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM.

Mark Amber belong together on ZM. Oh, he's got a bubble in his throat. I was just eating apple. Mark Amber. Fletchford and Hayley. It. Fletchbourne and Hayley. It is Fletchbourne and Hayley. It's seven past eight. And you are listening to the ZM Radio Network.

It's eight past eight. Actually, eight past eight. Leave that to me. Eight past eight. I'm in charge of this time. Fletchbourne and Hayley coming to you on the wireless. Stop being brats and teasing me. You can't do literally anything slightly wrong.

You will pounce on me I love it Now Hey everyone out there on Radioland Stop it This is the ZM radio show Should we give away a CD? Yeah, with Fletch and Vaughn and Hayley

Okay, so there is a lady She shared online a story about her new relationship Fairly new relationship, fairly new relationship. She's in her late 20s, but they're at the point where they're constantly staying at each other's house. And then she went over to his house one day and he said to her,

hey, when you come over, would you mind tying your hair up? And she was like, red flag, red flag. This guy's telling me how to look, how to behave. Oh yeah. Now she admitted she's got long, thick, jet black hair, which she attributes to her Indian grandmother. I could have done with that.

Where's my Indian grandmother? You could have done with an Indian grandmother. You say you're very thin, you'll hear. Very thin. I just needed a little bit of Indian. And then I could have also had a nice wedding. A five day one. I just really want to be in an Indian wedding,

but I didn't nab me an Indian man and I'm not part Indian. So if I did, it would be problematic. Can we get confirmation from Indian listeners if it would be problematic? For you to have an Indian wedding? Despite no Indian blood in either side of the parties. We'll just get confirmation. Anyway, lovely long black... I think you'll be fine as long as you do the accent.

I don't know if that would make it better. And the head movement. I don't know if that would make it better. Oh, well, we'll wait to hear from our Indian listeners. Confirmation from our Indian listeners if that would make it better. And the head movement. I don't know if that would make it better. Oh, well, we'll wait to hear from our Indian listeners. Confirmation from our Indian listeners if that would make it better or worse. Of which I know there are thousands. Yes. Now, so she went over there with her hair tied up and she was like,

can I ask you a question? Why have you told me to style my hair? Do you have a picture of this delightful sounding lady? Oh, stop it. Of course. Of course he wants a photo. A hot Indian woman with long, thick black hair. Don't rub your hands like a hungry fly.

Like a hungry fly looking at a cake? Yeah. I'm going to eat. I'm Louie the fly. No, you're not. No, there is no picture of her. Oh, this story sucks. Now, the reason he has implemented this rule for her inside his house now

is because her hair sheds and he finds it everywhere. And he's sick of it. My dude. Oh, my. This is. My house's hair is everywhere. And I know it's not mine because it's not short, curly, pubed, like beard hairs. Long, thick.

Yeah. When my daughter was born, Indy, she was like bald for ages. I was like, well, great. She's not going to have the positive hair. When she's a bit older, she's not going to have. She's got the thickest hair. Yeah. Everywhere I look, there's hair.

Yeah. And I'm the only one brave enough to pull the shower plug out. No, yuck. None of it's mine. And I have to be like, and pick it. And then when there's the hair, it gets straightened. It's all over the floor. So you would understand why having it up on a ponytail

will kind of mitigate it. I should have got a hypoallergenic wife. You should have. A shadoodle. A shadoodle. A wife-oodle. Yeah. So he's done this for this reason.

And she was like, oh, I kind of get it, but how dare you? But it's a rule now. It's a rule, right. Because he doesn't want to deal with all the hair. So if she comes over, hair has to be tied up. Yeah. I want to know. I'd put up with the hair.

Yeah. I do. For the dashingly good looks and that beautiful skin tone. Now, I want to know, what is the rule that you implemented for a partner? For whatever reason, maybe it was like a convenience thing or something that they did that drove you crazy or something like this. Like no work boots in the bed. In the bed?

It's a bed. Says the man who's never worn a pair of work boots. It's just the world. I'm just like people that wear boots inside. No shoes. No shoes. Boots off. No shoes inside.

And don't ask Are shoes okay Because now you've put it on me Yeah No No shoes Shoes off Yeah Oh my god

Someone said Do you want to MC My Indian wedding Next November And then I could wear the garb Yes I sort of wanted to be the bride So no

And they have long Thick Indian black hair They're saying And you'd constantly Look at her hair And I'd turn up With my thin, white girl, bleach blonde hair. And then I'd be peering through around the corner of the marquee being like, I like it.

Like a fly. No, don't invite us to your Indian wedding. This is my crowd. I'm Louis the Fly. Yeah. Okay, so here's one, for example. I made him buy me a shiwi. Now a shiwi is like a conical thing that you put if you have...

Like a festival. Yes, if you have a female anatomy, then you pee into it because the sleep out he was in didn't have a bathroom. And his mum and sister wouldn't let me into the house after 9pm so she shiwed in the bush. Lock the doors. So rather than popping a squat, the rule is, I'll stay with you, but you've got to give me a she-wee.

But you've got to buy me a she-wee, that was the rule. That's the least he could do. It's the least. We want to know what rule you implemented for a partner, because one partner asked his girlfriend to always have her hair up because her lovely long black hair didn't go through his house. He was sick of her. So she has to tie her hair up if she wants to come over.

Emily, what was the rule that you implemented for a partner? My ex, he, unfortunately, he had Crohn's disease. There was a medical reason that he did have to fart outside because it was just so bad. I didn't know, is that a thing that happens when you have Crohn's, you fart a lot well no they're just really really really awful smelling like the worst fart you could imagine

multiplied by a hundred man I feel this as a woman with IBS I'm a woman with IBS too so you're dropping dirty farts as well mine were nowhere near as bad they're the worst of us outside wow so your boyfriend

Rain or shine he had to go outside And I mean there was a few times where he'd like crack the window And just stand near it Do you know you're not the only person Someone messaged in no farting in bed He has to go to the door to fart I feel a bit bad because I used to tell him every time

But now he does it on his own accord like a trained dog I think I've traumatised him. How bad are those farts though if you're having to implement that rule? Wait, is there any reason, was there any relation to that, that you broke up with him?

No, no, there wasn't. Other reasons, other reasons, not the farts. Emily, thank you. I kind of want to know why they broke up. No, we don't need to know that. Can we go back to Emily and ask her why they broke up? Daniel or Dana, what is the rule that you made? Well, when we first started seeing each other, this was like a couple of months in,

he used to come over, we'd watch our shows together on like the one TV. And then he would turn on the PlayStation 3 and play Battlefield. So I used to have to sit there and watch him play Battlefield 3. Oh, yeah, no, no thanks. And so I said to him, I was like, no, because I want to watch my programs that you don't want to watch, you know.

And so he bought his own TV over. Oh, so your role was Battalion. But he wasn't living there full time. No, God, no. So when he wanted to come over for a little cuddle, he had to bring a TV. Well, yeah, he bought the TV and he just left it there with his own PlayStation.

Oh, like how most people would normally move in a pair of sleeping shorts and a toothbrush. He bought a TV. Yeah, he had his PlayStation and TV. But we've been together 11 years now. Oh, nice. And we both have our individual gaming setups and

it's not hooked up to the TV in the lounge. Yeah, there you go. Our kids' TV. It worked out. It worked out. Dana, thank you. Some more messages in. Oh my God. No gym clothes on Sunday. He has so many nice clothes and would wear

gym clothes on Sunday, which is a family day. A family day? Sorry, that. I love wearing active wear. He has so many nice clothes and would wear gym clothes on Sunday, which is a family day. A family day? Sorry, that. I love wearing active wear. It's so comfy. Oh, my God. I almost wear exclusively active wear on the weekends.

Even on Jesus' day. Yeah. No. Maybe it's like real manky gym wear, though. Yeah, like skungy. Yes, and like residual stink. It doesn't wash properly. Skungy, yes. And like residual stink. Doesn't wash properly. No luck on sweatpants.

Someone said, no grey track pants outside of the apartments they're all. This dude must be packing a massive bag. Oh, wow. I don't want other women. She doesn't want other women in the gaze. In the wang. Because the gays will be like.

They're like, boys, there's something on the radar. Yeah, gays are like a submarine. They'll lock into those sweatpants. It's the gaydar, but it'll also just lock into any grey sweatpants. Yeah. 100%. Oh, it's a big one, boys. Our rule is that for every meal I cook, he has to buy me one takeaway.

He doesn't cook, so it feels fair. So wait, you're getting at least seven takeaways a week? No. Yeah, because he's not cooking at all. If he doesn't cook. Oh, so on the nights when she's not cooking. It's takeaways. No, I assumed it was alternating.

Right. Oh, right, so we're going home cooked, takeaway, home cooked, takeaway. She could bank it. I'd be banking it. It'd be like you and me, 41 takeaway nights. Yeah. Jeez. How would you even decide what takeaway to have,

having takeaways that often? Yeah. Rule in our relationship is that if we're sharing dessert, we have to cut it in half at the start. Because otherwise it's a mad race to be the person that gets more. Oh, yeah, like if you're just sharing from a place. I get that. I get a bit of panic

that he's going to eat it all. It's a race to the finish ending in resentment and indigestion. That's the one. That's the situation. Quite a lot of farts, eh? Quite a lot of people

saying you can't fart in here. Yeah. How bad are these farts? Yeah. You've got to be able to fart. Yeah, but not if they're that bad. Yeah.

I reckon my farts have tamed a lot in the last few years Someone texted in one that we've got in our house When I bought a brand new house I told my husband no more dyeing your hair in the bathroom It leaves dye spots on the vanity I'm not allowed to dye my hair at my house Where do you do it then? At my hairdresser's house I'm not allowed

Okay Because one time I had brown hair dye in my hair and I leant back against the wall that was going to be ripped out anyway and I booped it. And it got stoned. Our rule is no pooping on the ensuite. You have to go to the guest toilet every time. What if you've got to go?

No way. Do you ever poop in the middle of the night? Nah. Man, I do sometimes. It's weird when you need to poop in the middle of the night. You're like, what's happening in there? Yeah, you're like, well, why now, Bonnie? I was asleep. Somebody else has messaged in. It just seems to be a lot of woman making rules here.

Oh, okay. Wow, big call. Does it sound like that came from a woman? No, that's got big man energy because it finishes with a laugh, laugh, laugh. So there's a man who will say something and then immediately recognise a woman's about to jump down his throat for it. So he's like, I was only joking around. Come on, sweetheart.

Put a smile on your face. My husband has to cook meat outside on the barbecue because I can't stand the smell of meat cooking. I eat meat and stuff, but the smell of it cooking is gross. No. That would just make me want to cook meat inside all the time. This was a good one. Before my hubby and I got too serious,

I said if he wants to marry me and have kids, he had to give up smoking. Gave up three months after dating. We've been married nearly 11 years. Saved his life. Oh, that's beautiful. You did save his life. You saved his life and he gave you life.

My ex put the rule in place. I wasn't allowed to say the C word. It didn't work out because I love that word. Same, I love that word. It's a great word. Great word. There's even a special chair for it these days. It's fun to say.

It's just fun to say. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Ah, man. What are you able to do? That's a down buzz. I'm just saying it's worldwide. It's a worldwide issue. Even here on our own doorstep.

Use fact of the day for good, Vaughan. You and I, we have access to clean drinking water. Fletch, however, has to suffer through syrup coming out of his hat. It's not milky water. It's fluoride syrup. It's a chlorine fluoride syrup. There's nothing wrong with that. The one thing when I stay at your house after a big night is a hangover if not cured. No.

It makes it worse, if anything. Stop being mean about my water. It's so embarrassing for you and your cat. Are you sure your tap isn't hooked up to the wastewater? You sure we're not drinking stale wheeze? Yeah. Are you drinking? No, I'm not.

Right. I reckon if they test your water. It's not. Right. I reckon if they test your water It's like a smoothie. I reckon if they test your water it'll have more meth in it than those lollies dropped off to the mission. Oh, yeah.

It'll be like, this water, it's weird. It's got everything in it. It's got trace elements of everything. And even a little bit of flour which is making it so thick. It's almost like a PVA.

My water is perfectly fine. Is it coming out of the tap? That's the sound of his tap running. Yeah. No, today we're looking at glasses. How many people will need corrective lenses? You poo, you poo, poo heads. I meant to say you two don't.

For some reason I said you poo. You've still got perfect 2020 vision, right? Well, at the moment, the last time I had something in my eye and I was having an eye to so i said to the lady i said i've got a great vision he got some of his tap water in his eye and immediately when he showers it's building a cataract it's a hard calcium deposit in the eye from the baby showers and that but i said i've got great vision, and she went, well, for now. Oh! Because everyone has their vision deteriorating.

But also in the age group where it starts... By the way, this fact of the day, I wanted a definitive number on how many people die not ever needing glasses. Oh, yeah. And I, you know me, I'll find a fact, and I'll just be like... That'll do.

Lazy, very lazy. I was just like, I can't find an answer, and I kept diving and diving. Thank you. And I did find a fact and I'll just be like that'll do lazy very lazy this one I was just like I can't find an answer and I kept diving and diving and I did deep dives and everything nice to see some effort but one thing I learnt was

that it's around 40 that even people who've had diving endlessly diving it was like I was diving down

through a vat of Fletcher's tap water and it was just thick and I was like I was quicksand I was diving down through a vat of Fletcher's tap water and it was just thick and I was like, I was quicksanding. I was diving slash sinking in it. And it said around 40 is where people who have had perfect vision their entire life start to decline. And they think they've got, oh, I got through my 30s.

I'm not going to need glasses. Because that's me as well. Yeah. I feel like I'm not going to need them. You've still got perfect, perfect vision. Mine went when I was eight. Oh, I had those

big coconut glasses. Big, big with the elastic around the back of his head. Oh, I did. When you see a baby and they've got glasses,

it's the cutest thing. It's the cutest thing. The little round things and they've got like little straps, like goggles. Yeah, to hold them on.

I mean, I'm sure it's not cute for the parents, but for us to look at, it's cute. It also wasn't cute at eight when I got them because I got the cheapest pair of glasses and it looked like. Like you to hold them on. I mean, I'm sure it's not cute for the parents, but for us to look at, it's cute. It also wasn't cute at eight when I got them, because I got the cheapest pair of glasses, and it looked like

Look, you're a big loser. Yeah, basically. And then I got a cord for around the back made of wetsuit material, neoprene. Oh, cool, dude. I can picture it. Ripkill? Was it Ripkill? Are you kidding me? There wasn't money for Ripkill? No way! No way, bucko.

That was from wear of the two dollar shop. Oh, yeah. We didn't money for Ritko. No way. No way, bucko. That was from where the $2 shop. Oh, yeah. We didn't have one of those. Neoprene. So what I found, what it basically boils down to, is that through studies from the National Health Centre of America, no other country seems to give a goddamn about finding their percentage, 93% of people over 70 need glasses.

Oh, wow. Yeah, right. Short-sighted or long-sighted. Yeah. And I thought it would have been 50-50. No. 61% need it for near-sightedness so they can see close, but they can't see far away.

Well, you don't need to when you're old. And 31% only needed it for reading. Okay. I thought it would have been, for some reason in my head, it was always a 50-50 split. Yeah. Between nearsighted and farsighted. Because I can see, I'm really good at farsighted.

Right. Yeah, I can see things far away. Like, I'll read signs and Vaughn will be like, how can you read that? I can see near, far, wherever you are. Do you make it close? No, no, I'm saying near, far, wherever you are. I'm hearing your arms. Is she singing a Titanic song? No, I'm singing Near Far wherever you are. I'm hearing your arms.

She's singing a Titanic song. No, I'm just singing the Make It Click. If you're going near far. Near far, make it click. That's a far more important warning. No, I know that I love what will go on, for God's sake. I don't know. Celine Dion doesn't want you using that.

Was it poor telling of a joke or poor understanding? It was not poor telling of a joke. Someone's to blame and we've got to get to the bottom of it. I can see near, far, wherever you are. On the text machine, the first 10 people who message in, you're going to decide who was the dum-dum there. Was it Fletch for thinking she was singing the McDonald's jingle for Make It Click?

Or was it Hayley's poor joke telling that we've been distraught? No, because the lyric is, and it makes no difference if you're going near or far. Yeah, I know. Make it click. No, near, far, wherever you are. Isn't that home and away? Perfect delivery.

Definitely Fletch. Someone else said it was Hayley's fault. Yeah. Fletch's fault. Isn't it home and away? Fletch. What's the home and away jingle? Fletch.

No, Fletch. Closer each day. Yeah, near and far. Home and away. That's how it goes. You need to stop drinking that water. I don't know what the water's doing to your brain. Someone text, Fletch equals dum-dum.

Maybe it is my water. I think it's your water. Yeah, I think your thick water's gone into your thick head. Big old thick water. So today's fact of the day is that 7% of the population will see their 70th birthday without needing corrective lenses. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. I have to give it to our loyal listeners who anytime Jason Momoa breathes, they message me to let me know.

He breathed. Hayley, he breathed. And he's inhaling now, Hayley. And there's the exhale. He's back in New Zealand. Me exhale. He's back in New Zealand. Me again. He's back in New Zealand. He was in Queenstown enjoying his birthday.

And then he is now back in Auckland. I think he's doing pickups for Chief of War. How do you know that you sound like a crazy person? Okay, I'll make it less that I definitely know these things. I think he's back in the country. I think he was like down south or something for a bit. I saw some like snow. Way better.

And now, well, I saw yesterday just on his public Instagram that he's in Auckland. I imagine doing some filming. Was that good? That was way better, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Way less crazy. Woo!

Way less. Anyway. Not huge on the detail that time. Yeah, that was so much better Anyway My boy Posted That his band

Oof Ta ta ta Which is Him Two others And sometimes they have guests Like Jack Black Right

Or Rita Ora Yeah They're playing a gig in Auckland Next week At the Turning Fork Which I've actually played it myself Three times As a comedian

So I guess we're sort of On a similar level now Right Did that sell as well next week at the Turning Fork, which I've actually played it myself three times as a comedian. So I guess we're sort of on a similar level now. Did that sell as well as New Plymouth is selling this weekend? Yeah, actually probably better. Feel free, New Plymouth, Taranaki, to buy tickets to my show, Wild Flooders, this Saturday. Hayley's blaming the marketing.

I am blaming the marketing. She's blaming the marketing. Oh, really? Here's some more marketing for you. Go on my Instagram page for the link. She's blaming the marketing. I am blaming the marketing. She's blaming the marketing. The lack of marketing. Oh, really? Here's some more marketing for you. Go on my Instagram page for the link. People might have had enough. Nope. It's quite saturated.

You put up with me every day and you haven't had enough. I'm medicated. Heavily medicated. Heavily sedated all the time. Anyway, I saw it as Instagram and I quickly went because it only has a capacity of 200. Right. It's tiny, like smaller than Power Station.

And it sold out and I got tickets. So I'm going to go see his band. Now here's the question. One, what do I wear? Obviously, what do I wear? Oh, I thought the question was going to be, is this crazy? No, no, no, not crazy. I love rock and roll.

You know me, I love rock and roll. I love rock and roll, rock and roll bands. You always go to rock and roll band concerts on a... Wednesday night. Always on a Wednesday night. Quite often you get to work Thursday, you're very tired. If you see me, exactly. And Vaughan will say, why are you so tired?

And you'll say, I was at a rock and roll. I'll put on my horns and I'll say rock and roll. I've been rock and rolling. That's right. Well, okay, one, what do I wear? Do I make it like really hot? Or do I like try to play it cool, like just a t-shirt, like a band tee? Sweatpants. No, no, no, not that cash.

Meat in the middle I reckon. Okay, gym tights. Active wear. Now the girlies at the producer's booth have suggested I wear the red dress I bought to wear to my own wedding. Okay, one, that doesn't fit yet. And two, that feels

a bit off Right To break it in there And then the second thing was Shall I pack my keytar Just in case Oh my god Okay you are out of control Cause imagine if he was like

Oh my god Oh my god What songs do they play covers They do a bit of everything Yeah But they do some covers Like what if I just like Whipped up a few

What if I like did Some light non-psychotic research? It's a recurring nightmare I have, being forced on a stage with a band and playing an instrument I don't know how to play. That's what I mean. BYO instruments so this doesn't happen. So you know what to play. Well, how often are you dreaming of this?

More often than you think. And it's in front of a massive crowd, and it's always with, like, a really well-known band. Right. And I'm like, what am I doing here? And they're like, just play. I'm like, play what? And then so I've got a guitar and I'm just like, bam.

Yeah, right. Oh, you just do like one little. Exactly how I performed in the school orchestra. I just put the trumpet to my mouth and pretended. That's all bass players do anyway. Wow. Good morning to our bass playing listeners. And I apologise for what he just said. Okay, maybe there's a few more. That can to our bass playing listeners. And I apologise for

what he just said. Okay, maybe there's a few more. That can't keep up with this. Jason's the bassist in the band. He bombs.

Oh, he's a bomb. What if I walk in and he goes, boom, boom. Oh my God, what, like in between scenes on Seinfeld? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

just like that. Anyway, maybe I'll bring the keytar. Maybe I'll look up some songs on the keytar. Wish me luck. Do you think it's going to come across to a tense if I'll bring the keytar. Maybe I'll look up some songs on the keytar. Wish me luck. Do you think it's going to come across to a tense if I arrive

with my keytar strapped to my back? Yeah, I think it's you just going as intense. He's not said, bring your keytar. You're just turning up with a keytar. Imagine if anyone's saying that

with you in your closet and everybody brought their own equipment just in case the food fighters were like, yeah, come on. No, he's just been too busy. He hasn't, no, he hasn't personally messaged me this trip.

No. No, okay, yeah. It's a little crazy. I'm not even thinking about it. It's not crazy to turn up with a guitar and 20 songs up my sleeve ready to go. What if he asked me to sing? What am I singing?

25 years and my life is still. Still. No? I think we should intervene here and say don't go. Really? No, no, I'm a huge fan of watching a plane crash. How do you? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Well, people are using AI to scan their grids on Instagram. And also it's being used, it's learning a lot of LinkedIn profiles. Oh, yeah. And this is something that they can... Like how do I make this better? No, it's being used, well, at the moment it's learning and studies are being done, but they're saying that going forward, like recruiters, anyone looking at hiring you for a job

is going to be able to scan your LinkedIn and work out if you are a narcissist or if you're intelligent or both or whatever it is. Because sometimes I worry I'm a narcissist. I don't think narcissists ever have that concern. I mean, it's a hallmark sign of a narcissist. But you can argue everybody is a little bit narcissistic. Oh, I can be narcissistic.

I'm not a narcissist. Right? Yeah. And people are just using this just to scan, even just a screenshot of their grid on Instagram. Yeah. And like, you know, asking it to kind of. I saw one.

So she put up like just her grid, like a screenshot of the grid. And the question she asked is like basically, hey, chat GPT, what is my, what perspective do I give off on Instagram? And it's. Wait, is that the sound that AI makes? It said, your Instagram feed conveys a dynamic and multifaceted lifestyle. Here are some impressions based on your posts. Social and outgoing from lots of photos of who you're out and about.

Travel and adventure. You look like you're an adventurer. Fashion and style. You look like someone who takes pride in their appearance. Da-da-da-da-da. And at the end, it was like very complimentary. Confidence and self-expression. The way you pose and present yourself in the photos reflects confidence and a strong sense of self-expression.

Overall, it gives off a vibe of someone who lives a dynamic lifestyle. But then other people are going in and being like, be nasty. Like be more realistic. Yeah, or like be more critical. And they're like, be nasty. Like be more realistic? Yeah, or like be more critical. And they're like, well, it does appear that often you'll upload photos of people looking worse next to you, which gives off an impression that maybe you are a bit of a narcissist.

This is why you've always got to have an ugly friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, hey hon, nobody's buying those scrunch bottom leggings as a genuine booty. So people are asking for it to be more negative. But I guess if you're going like, what general impression do I give off? It'd be helpful. I mean, everybody puts their best stuff on Instagram.

I think that's the thing. We know it's all just, you know, a big lie, isn't it? Oh yeah, 100%. If I look at my profile, I'm like, this does not reflect the year I've had. Your day-to-day, the year that you've had. I was thinking that because I uploaded my bathroom renovation on my home reno page.

And I was like, man, people are going to look at this home reno page and be like, oh, my God, how fun. The house looks great. Just like the block. Yeah, yeah, just like the block. I wish. And in reality. It's been a hell of a ride.

It's been a little bit like the block. What? How? No one's coming out with any money Why don't you just try and be nicer to me today You've had fights Both on and off screen We've dealt with tradies who are less than Desired

And Peter Wolfkamp comes around at 7 o'clock And he's like that's it shut it down too noisy Yeah yeah yeah And then the people next door are doing the same thing, but they seem to be doing it quicker and cheaper and getting a better outcome. And you think you're making a really unique house, but at the end of the day, they're just all at the same.

Why do... That's the end of the show. You're just bringing me down at the end of the show. What a note to end on. Hey, from one person drowning in his own debt of his own choices to another, I say we need to stick together and bully Fletch. Yes.

Why bully me? Who's done nothing but make smart decisions for himself. He made clever decisions. What's Fletch doing when he goes home after the show? And didn't see 2% interest rates and were like, sure, load me up. He said, I can pay this off quicker if I'm sensible. What an arsehole. I'm out.

That's me. I'm done for the day. Well, if you enjoyed that, give us a rating and review and be sure to tell your mates. You know what? I reckon your script reading is getting better. Thank you. I give it five stars.

Thank you. Just like I give this podcast. I'm telling my friends about your script reading too. Thank you. Much like I'd give this podcast. I'm telling my friends about your script reading too. Thank you. Much like I'm going to do about this podcast. Thank you, Vaughan and Hayley, for that. Good boy. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.