ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 14th March, 2025

Episode Date: March 13, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod Ex spray painted the wrong car Top 6 Aussie school lunches Queenstown airport  Toto Interview SLP - Do you still use dating apps Great debate - Comfort food AI wingman for dating How long did you keep an office romance a secret Don't open group chats What did someone say that you've never forgotten Fact of the day Hayley's car drama Vaughan goes camping See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. From the ZM Podcast Network,

this is Flesh, Fawn and Hayley's Big Pod. Thanks to Animates, making happy happen for pets. ZM's Flesh, Fawn and Hayley. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show. Fletchforn and Hayley. Happy Friday.

Happy Friday. Secret Sound is back at 7 and 8 on the show this morning. If you think you know what the secret sound is, listen up for the activator then to play, thanks to Super Liquor. I don't think I know, I'll be honest. I've got no idea, but people are sure they know. And yet they don't. And yet they call up and they're wrong.

Well, someone out there has to know what that secret sound is. Come on. Seven o'clock, your next chance. We have a special kind of left field interview before seven o'clock on the show. Yes. A trip down memory lane, especially for long-time listeners and podcasters of the show. She's a long-time, long-time listener. I've only joined in the last three and a bit

years since that chick. She's just so amazing to listen to. The chick you've got. I just like her. She's a bit much. She can be a bit much. She's a bit much. This happened 12 years ago. 12 years ago we got Toto Africa to number one on the iTunes chart.

It peaked at number five on the official New Zealand Re-Ans chart, Recording Institute, something, something, New Zealand. And it changed the way that they did charts. Influenced. You influenced the system. Because we tiddled with it. We tiddled with it. It's such an iconic start to a song.

A synth. And this was 30 years old when we got it. When we did it with it. It's such an iconic start to a song. And this was 30 years old when we got it. Yeah, it was a 1982 song. We did it in 2013. So good. We're going to talk to Joe, who's in Toto, because they're coming to New Zealand. How good.

We've got to. We've got to tie to the song. It's like our show's anthem. Yeah. And I love when we did the live shows, like people just, this is one of their like core memories of you two. I love that.

And it's just an honour to be here and be part of it. You're welcome. Top six as well, coming up, more problems with the school lunches. Now they're being flown in from Australia. Do we not have bakery? Do we not have a bakery? Do we not have a local community

of parents that could just make some sandwiches during the day? Could they do a nuggy run? Nuggy runs? If you buy enough, it's called economy of scale. Go down there. My local bakery does a filled roll for five bucks.

Just huck that in half and then chuck a cookie on top. Get it in there. Couple of those little small savouries. We'll be top six dealing with this soon. Top six signs your school lunch came from Australia. Next on the show, though. There is a scorned ex who wanted to get revenge on her ex. So she took to what she thought was his vehicle.

Play ZM's Fleshborn and Hayley. Okay, police were called to a scene in which a young woman, I believe she was 18 years old, was caught vandalising a vehicle. Because, and she was asked like, why are you vandalising this vehicle with spray paint?

Okay. And she said she was upset with her boyfriend. They'd had a fight and she was like, right, I'm going to take action and I'm going to vandalise your car. So she got a can of yellow spray paint. I'll just say. I'm looking at the photos.

It's a great yellow on black. It is a phenomenal yellow. It's a beautiful, it's a very, it's the yellow you want when you get a can of yellow spray paint. Yeah, but it's deeper than your furrows. It's minion yellow. I was looking for a word to describe the yellow you want when you get a can of yellow spray paint. Yeah, but it's deeper than your furrows. It's minion yellow. I was looking for a word to describe the yellow.

It's minion yellow on a black, what kind of car is that? Like a Nissan? Shitbox, I think is the, yeah. I think is the correct brand of that car. A shitbox sedan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So with this yellow, this fantastic yellow can of spray paint, she's written things like, well, we're debating it

because it's so poorly done. I think that one says poo. I think that says poo. But then I think it might say Jason is a devil. Yes. Or we can't work out if it says Jason or assholes spout really badly. Yeah. There's like...

I'm wondering if that's a swastika on the back, but maybe I don't think... Maybe it's an H. Maybe I think it just says high. She's got... I'm always trying to write high and it comes out as a swastika

she has every panel of this car the roof the window fully graffitied it's fully graffitied with Minion Yellow not

not like she I cannot describe it's like a baby has written this what's the boyfriend done the ex it's cheating right

it's definitely cheated. Yeah. Well, if you're saying Jason is a devil, I can only imagine. Anyway, so the issue with this is not only the vandalism for which she has received a $5,000 fine. Yeah. It's not his car.

Oh, no. It's his neighbour's car. That's so good. Oh, shucks. What the hell? So they arrested her and then was like, here you go. Oh, I beg your pardon. So the issue was that her ex-boyfriend owed her $700.

Oh, okay. So then this spurred vengeance. Yeah. So there was no cheating, just money owed. No cheating, money owed. But now she has to pay $5,000. Yeah, more than that damage. Yeah, so she's $5,700 down.

And his car is fine. And his car is fine. It's the neighbour's car. And she would have had to pay for the spray paint. So she's $5,720. How much is a can of spray paint? Oh, that. Was that beautiful yellow?

A couple of cans. $12. So we're talking US here. Yeah. Almost double that now. She's down. Well, yeah. Anyway, so I think if you are planning on taking vengeance on a vehicle,

one, maybe don't. Maybe don't. And two, it's you. Yeah, yeah. It's immediate and you get that satisfaction straight away. It's too obvious it's you. You're going to And you get that satisfaction Straight away It's too obvious it's you You're gonna get caught You're gonna have to pay

You wanna Rather than do that Put some time and effort Into slowly destroying Their self confidence Or Slowly destroying Their life option

Getting in their mind Like messing with them Never admitting to it And then they'll slowly think They're losing their mind After a while That takes a toll Or poop and put it in the freezer

And grate it through their car. That's a classic. Again, I'm more of a mind man. You are a mind man. I'm more of a just destroying them down to the cellular level, you know. If you're not a mind man like Vaughan, if you go on a graffiti something, maybe like plan out what you're going to say. Yeah.

Because it's embarrassing when you vandalise something and in the moment you write poo. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I really think of something and in the moment you write poo. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I really think of something like, you cheater, you lying scoundrel. Also, think about your spacing, because quite often you'll see a sign spray-painted and you can see they've run out of space.

It's like... Like a birthday card. The birthday card when you were a kid. I love it. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. From the Notes app on Vaughan's phone This is the Top 6 Now I'd like to start out by saying

This isn't political It's not political This isn't political But what a shambles this coalition is The school lunches It's not political What a bloody shambles More problems with the school lunches

There have been melted plastic in them. There have been butter chicken for a week. They just haven't shown up. They were turning up at 2.30. One of the main providers has gone into liquidation. Yeah. My mum was, we were talking to my mum about this. Again, not political.

But like, why wouldn't you just employ local communities, your local marae, and get the mums together and the dads together and go, okay, you're shifted on for this week. Feed it back into the community. Just put that back in and make a nice fresh sandwich. Well, now they're flying in school lunches from Australia because apparently we don't have food here. How is this effective?

I'm currently eating food. It's odd. Yeah, I had some food last night. I haven't had any food this morning. We've actually got these giant kind of... Trees. ...warehouses full of food, and you pay for it at the checkout.

Wow. Yeah, they make this thing with flour. Yeah. And they put yeast, and it's like a... I've heard of this. Bakery. Bakery. Briard.

Briard. It's called briard. Bread. And then you put in there, you could put, like, chicken. Chook and buns. Get a chook and buns. You know, chooks, slaw and buns. Wild.

Anyway, not political though. It's not political. It's not political, but it's a shambles. And now Australia, an Australian company is flying them over. Wild. Madness. Top six signs you're eating an Australian school lunch. This isn't political.

Yep. But I'm just going to say. It's not political at all. No, not at all It's another balls up Top six signs You're eating An Australian school lunch

Number six Is a snake In a hot dog bun It's just Instead of a Instead of a hot dog They eat snakes over there And you can get so many

You can get so many Sausages out of a snake Because they're pretty much Like one really long sausage I'm so glad We don't have snakes I've seen snakes Overseas

Every time Yeah they are All day Have you watched You haven't watched You're not up to date With the white lotus I'm so glad we don't have snakes. I've seen snakes overseas every time. Yeah, they are. Have you watched, you haven't watched, you're not up to date with the white lotus. No, I'm not watching white lotus. Walter Goggins. Who I love. Who you love. He spoke about the, there's a scene in a recent episode with the snake.

He actually got bitten. Did he? Oh, really? By one of the snakes on the set. They were an armless snake? Yeah. No, I don't believe they were. They were cobras at that. Yeah, but they didn't have arms. Yeah. They were an armless snake? Yeah. No, I don't believe they were. They were cobras at that.

Yeah, but they didn't have arms. Yeah. Oh, armless. Yeah, okay. Yeah, then they were armless. Oh, I see. He's not doing a part. I'm doing a dad joke.

I'm doing a joke. I was just going, was the snake armless? Most of them are. And you say, no, no, no. And I say, oh, so it was a lizard. Right. And then I lick my lips and fall asleep on the couch five minutes into a movie.

Yeah, your arm's folded and your glasses all the time, you know. And then I just say, I'm just shutting my eyes just for a bit. I'm not asleep. But we're not political.

It's not political. It's not political. It's not political. Number five on the list of the top six signs you're eating an Australian school lunch. The PUD is a PAV

and it says, Australia's own PAVlova on it. Yeah. That's not true. You're always trying to steal that, aren't you? Yeah, give it back. Stop saying it's your PAV. It's our PAV. Number Yeah. That's not true. They're always trying to steal that, aren't they? Yeah. Give it back. Stop saying it's your Pav.

It's our Pav. Number four. Again, not political. Number four on the list of the top six signs you're eating an Australian school lunch. It's wombat stew. Wombat stew. Ooey gooey, yummy pooey wombat stew. Have you seen the news story about the lady?

Oh my God. She picks up a baby wombat. She picks up a baby wombat. She's an American influencer, right? Yeah. She runs across the road with this baby wombat after stealing it from the mother. And like now the entire country is like, deport her.

Lynch her. Look at this video. So they're driving along and they see a wombat and a moth. Because you see them on the side of the road all the time. Sadly, occasionally you see them as roadkill. But the wombat and with his mum, and she runs across and is like, oh my God, and picks up the baby wombat

and runs back to show her partner. Yeah. Oh, and then she's making a joke across and is like, oh my God, and picks up the baby wombat and runs back to show her partner. Yeah. Oh, and then she's making a joke where you're like, the mum's pissed. Yeah, and the mum kind of does come out

and be like, where's my baby? Come here, my baby. Oh, wow. Yeah. Wombats are cute.

They are real cute. Yeah. So cute. Kind of can't blame you because it would be a great photo. Yeah, I'd like to pick up a wombat. Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six signs you're eating in Australian school lunch and this is not a political. No, we'd like pick up a wombat. Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six signs you're eating an Australian school lunch and this is not a political. No, we don't want to get political. The chicken nuggets

are emu sized. Giant. You only need one per kid. In fact, they're called chikimu nuggets. Okay. I'll work on that.

Yeah. I thought it was pretty good. Chikimu. Because M and N are right next to each other in the alphabet. Obviously, I'm mistaken often in sound size and then

just chuck a U in the end and make them capitals. Chikimu nuggets. I'm still on the wombat. I won't lie. I'm just watching

the video of the wombat. They're very cute animals. Number two on the list of the top six things you're eating in Australian school

lunch and I will take this moment to remind you this is not political. No. But this is a shambles. It's just a bunning sausage. It's a shambles.

It's just a bunning sausage sizzle every day. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not bad. You know what I mean? I mean, it's better than flying in meals from Australia. Yeah, I love a saucy sizzle. Saucy sizzle every day.

I'd need a couple, though, because I was a fat kid. That's the thing. I'd get two. Yeah, I'd get two. Because, you know, it's not for profit, is it? No. So you can probably afford to go back to. I'd get two. Yeah, I'd get two. Because, you know, it's not for profit, is it? No. So you can probably afford to go back to like a dollar of sauce.

Yeah. And number one on the list of the top six signs you're eating an Australian school lunch, it's a Vegemite-flavoured Tim Tam.

Oh, yuck. Not Marmite. I found a recipe online last night for Vegemite Tim Tam Tiramisu. Oh, that makes sense. Okay.

A dip in umami, a salty. Yeah, but not too much Okay. A dip, an umami, a salty. Yeah, but not too much. Hey, I reckon it would just be a kiss of Vegemite. Oh, yum, yum, yum. I'd use Marmite instead of Vegemite, but yes, I'd be here for that. I'm Vegemite. I'm a Vegemite.

Yeah. I'm a Vegemite boy. Well, surprising you two would be Vegemite. I mean, no, I'm not getting political here, but it's not surprising you two. That feels really politically charged. Yeah, because you're a huge fan of the Latter Day Saints. Yeah. I'm a huge fan of paying tax.

Yeah, he's a sanitarium guy. He loves it. And I will take this time, if I may, just take a moment to remind everybody this wasn't political. It wasn't political. No, no, no.

But Christ, what a shamble. Vaughn and I both put this on our notes for things to talk about on the show today. I don't know why. This is a man thing, eh? I was saying both of you started chatting about this for about 15 minutes this morning and I couldn't give a shit.

I want to say primarily male. I think there's a lot of females in STEM. Yep. Science, technology and engineering, maths. It's super interesting stuff. If you're into civil engineering, if you're into large-scale projects, if you've got a little bit about transmission gully and the tunnels and such. None of this interests me.

I like boys and wine. Queenstown Airport has spent $23 million on the latest tourist attraction. It's where your plane doesn't stop. And instead of going off the end of the runway Or smashing into a wall like that one earlier this year. Yeah, that was horrible. It will hit this new pad that they have installed at the end of

each end of the runway called an EMAS, an Engineered Materials Arresting System and it will literally stop the plane in its tracks. The blocks will disintegrate under the weight of the plane, stopping anything. And there's a bit of goo underneath.

But then what? They've got to rebuild it? Yeah. Every time this happens? Yeah, but it doesn't happen that often. I mean, you think now it doesn't happen. It's an emergency. It's an emergency thing. It's been built where the grass was, so previously the plane would have ended up on the grass. Why are they getting so ready for this?

Do you know what I mean? Because if they're not ready for it, Hayley, when it happens, everyone will be like, why didn't they have that? But no other airport has it. You just skid into the fence. It's something that they're installing around the world. Because have you ever seen these? I just went to EMAS's website and they've got 130 plus.

I can't find them. There's photos of a private jet having had to use it. Right, but not of it actually having. Nah, it's like posthumous. But could we jump on it and like crank it? We wouldn't go through. No, because we wouldn't be heavy enough because you're too skinny.

Babe, especially you. Especially you. I know. There could be a thousand Haley's on it and it would be like, is there something on me? The Queensland Airport likened this to a creme brulee. Yeah. Because your creme brulee's got a hard top.

It's a hard top. And then when a plane's on the top of it, it cracks and goes into the custard. It's really big. I don't know why, but this gets me really jazzed. You love your planes. I want to see a video of a plane going into this. Looking at the photo of it, it's massive.

Like, if you look at it in relation to that car and the road sign, it's really big. Would it be 100 metres long? It's massive. Yeah, really big. The entire width of the runway,

obviously. Makes me think of those holiday park trampolines with the air in them, you know, that you're going on. That's what it feels like to me. Yeah, it's the equivalent

of 20 tennis courts. See, that's so like to me. Yeah, it's the equivalent of 20 tennis courts. See, that's so big. It's big. It's big. Right. So what is your hope that one day a plane goes into it and you're on it and you're like, wee? Because when you sink it, we just kind of go like. It just kind of comes to a halt.

It just slows you down. It just slows you down. Because have you seen Have you ever been overseas And seen the runaway truck gravel pits They're in New Zealand Where They're in New Zealand

Where have I seen them They're in the South Island On some of the passes Oh okay You go down And they've got a special name And yeah effectively You're going down a steep hill

And to the left You just It goes It's got a slight incline And it's just deep gravel. Yeah. And they hit it and it just stops trucks. Like a ball pit for trucks.

A ball pit for trucks. A ball pit for trucks. And trucks have so much fun. So it kind of, I'm just trying to look up a video of someone landing on it, but thankfully people don't that often. Yeah. But it kind of crumbles into a dusty.

Yeah, yeah, the top bit disintegrates. Yeah. Okay. It's amazing, isn't it? I just think it's great that we have some engineering on the show every now and again, you know? I think so. I love engineering. I think it's great that we have some... I know it's not sexy for you, Hayley.

Yeah, I don't know. It hasn't ticked my boxes but perhaps, you know, I don't represent the majority. I'm just going to have a look. Apparently, they're on... I'm just on the text machine to see some immediate feedback. Okay. That's what I love about live radio. They're on transmission gully too for cars.

Oh. The gravel pits on the side. Those little gravel things that would stop you if you spun out, I guess. Oh, I've always wanted to drive in. I know. I get tempted every time I see one of them. I know.

Yeah. It would ruin your car though, eh? Could you put it in four-wheel drive and reverse and get out again or am I sinking too much? No, I think you'd sink in and be them. I know they're, yeah. How hard would it be? It would ruin your car though, eh? Could you put it in four-wheel drive and reverse and get out again or am I sinking too much? No, I think you'd sink in and be stuck. You've come to a stop. I'm to a stop.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. And the song at backstage. Oh, it was a better time. It was a better time, wasn't it? Oh, yeah. We did not know how good we had it. Or I didn't know how snatched my body was at the time.

But that's a bit by the by. By the by. By the by. It was just a good year to be me. It was just a great year to be alive. Yeah, 2013. And this song playing in the background was already 30 years old. So by my maths, now it's 42, 43 like me.

Wow. It came out the year I was born. Wow. This song and I are the same age. And we got it into the charts. Now. It kind of became a bit of a show song. It did.

Didn't it? Yeah, it did. And so the band, Toto, are coming to New Zealand to play a show. Yeah, in April. In April. Joe is on the phone. Joe, the song, of course, we've got such a special tie to it because in 2013 we got it into the charts.

I heard about this. That's an amazing thing that you guys did with that. We would do a section, a podcast section, where we would hear from international listeners. And every time anybody messaged in from anywhere on continental Africa, it would kick off the fact we'd have to play Toto's Africa

in the background as we talked about this person. And then we were just one day being pressured heavily by management to do something newsworthy, to grab those headlines in this saturated media landscape and we were like, let's get Africa by Toto to number one and well, it bloody well happened. That's amazing. It's such a great story and, you know, listen, thank you guys for doing that.

I mean, I've got to be honest, that song is part of thank you guys for doing that. I mean, I got to be honest. That song has, you know, is part of what's kept us in business. It's one of those weird things. And the funny part is that the other guys, aside from David Page, who wrote the tune, you know, didn't want it on the album. Really? Absolutely. That song was brought in kind of at the very last minute. Dave had this little piece that he wanted to do and they they reluctantly agreed to sort of record it and produce it and buff it out and all of that.

And everybody felt like, well, put it at the end of the record. In those days, you know, something you weren't sure of, you would put it at the very end of the record. How many times have you heard it belted out so poorly? Like the amount of karaoke bars. And there's a rat. And you're like, oh my God, they're trying to do the top. To take me away from you. You're like, you need to do the bottom part, dude.

Guilty, guilty. Yeah, guilty of. Listen, I've belted it out poorly a few times myself. Oh, I doubt it. Over the years. Africa's probably my favorite part of the show. Surely it's one of those songs, though, that you barely have to sing anything, right? You just hold the mic out.

The audience will know every single lyric. Well, that's true, but we are sure we make a point of doing all of the singing, too, because that can get annoying for an audience. If every five minutes you're asking them to do the work. Totally. They paid good money

to come see us belt it out poorly. Yes. Oh my God. Thank you for saying that because I see so many artists, especially modern artists, and then when there's

a real high bit and then they can only ever do it in studio with a lot of support and they always just go, and here's the... And then just hand it out to the audience to scream.

Butcher it. All the ticket and tour information is at livenation.co.nz. Joseph, any songs you want us to get to number one before you arrive? Rosanna. I'll bet you could do it with Rosanna. I mean, Rosanna.

But do you know what? They changed the rules after we did that. Oh, yeah. Do you know what we did to get your song to number one led to a change in how the New Zealand Recording Institute does the charts? I don't doubt it. It was very sneaky.

It was very sneaky. Yeah, so you played your part in major legislation change in the music industry in New Zealand, and for that, we thank you. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole,

silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. Silly little pole. We prefaced this by saying, only vote if you're single. Do you use dating apps? A lot of people get burnout, eh, from dating apps. Over them. What was that graph? Did we talk about that graph or did we just discuss it?

There was like the, from the day people install a dating app to the time they delete it or delete it or stop using it. It's only like three or four days and it peters out to next to nothing. So recently, because when we prepped for the show, so two different dating apps I've been made aware of

as of late. Yep. One is called Sniffies. If you know Sniffies you know what Sniffies is. This is... Also, Sniffies sounds real cute. Not really. It's not cute. I went on the work Wi-Fi yesterday

and I couldn't believe how far I got. I cannot believe you went on the work Wi-Fi because this is... Research for my job, Fletch. My friend in LA was telling me about this app

and I was like, oh, that's not going to work in New Zealand. There's not enough people. Not enough gay. Because it's gays or bi's? Both. Gay and bi

and it is strictly hookup. Yep. Like, there's not enough people. Not enough gay. Because it's gays or bi's? Both. Gay and bi, and it is strictly hookup. Like, there's no pretense of like, oh, should we date? And then on the map, there's these little icons of people's doodles. Doodles. Just doodles for days. And Hayley was looking at this on her work laptop. I was like, look at these doodles. There's doodles, doodles, doodles.

Why is it called sniffies? Are you sniffing it out? Yeah, like sniffing out a hookup. I don't know. Like a bloodhound. Yeah, like a truffle. No, you're a truffle pig. Yeah.

So on the other side of Sniffies, not that Sniffies is trash, but my friends on it, and he was showing me. It was so great. He showed me his profile. I was like, oh my God, show me. And he was like,

you will have to see my penis. And I was like, that's fine. Okay. So he was showing me Sniffies. On the other side of that is one I was reading about the other day called The League. And it's basically for people who think they're better than everyone else. The League.

The League. It's like people with PhDs, people who are elite sports people. Okay. So it's, what's that? Raya? Some of the one Raya, but for people who aren't famous, but are better than you. Are better than you. Isn't Bryn our newsreader on that one?

Yeah, he is. He's on Raya. God damn. That one's hard to he is. He's on Raya. God damn, Bryn. That one's hard to get onto. You need like references and... But I think if you know someone on there, like Bryn could invite you on. But Bryn's also got a blue tick on Instagram, doesn't he?

He's a big deal, our newsreader Bryn. He's a big deal. We've got the biggest guy. Yeah, yeah, he does. He did go on a date with that 70-year-old clairvoyant though, so the dude's up to some shenanigans. The League is a selective and high-quality community of motivated daters looking for meaningful long-term relationships.

Whereas Sniffies, it's just willies. On Raya, apparently Raya, you have to get recommended by somebody on Raya, and Bryn gave Karwin a reference when she was single before she found a rich European boyfriend. That's right. And you got waitlisted but never accepted. Yeah.

Oh, Manga. To be fair, I think that you're supposed to have multiple references. Also, like, I don't have a massive social following or anything like that.

They look up who you are and, like, why you would be a big deal. They don't care about radio producers. Oh. Oh, it's all right. I'm not single.

Don't feel sorry for her. You just called her a Manga three seconds earlier. Yeah, well, you've got to feel sorry for mingers. No, but she's societally a minger. As a fellow minger. Yeah, not looks-wise. Looks-wise, you're gorgeous.

No, it's your personality. It's your personality. You've taken it too far. Career-wise, completely. I'm walking out. We can give her a bit of stick. She's already gone and got our coffees. Yeah, she got us coffees and she's got a boyfriend.

She got the jar. She invited us. She gave us the jar and now we're all jacked up on jar. Do you use dating apps if you're single? 76% of people said no. Wow. Oh, my God. I know.

24% of people said yes if you're single. So where are you meeting people? People just aren't. If not on Sniffies, where are you meeting people? People just aren't. If not on Sniffies, where are you meeting? I am Sally. Not Sally. What? If you're saying S-A-L-L, why wrong?

S-E-L, but the E's got a arrow over it. And the S has got one too. This is their name. They must use them because they said, because you can't meet men at work, the supermarket, or at the dog park anymore. Supermarket would be hot, eh? Sorry, I just rammed my trolley into the back of your Achilles tendon.

That's right. I'm sorry, but I'm not going on any date with anyone that rams my Achilles tendon. You need to know they're in charge of a trolley. That's the worst feeling I would have. Ow! Elizabeth said, I use them because I work... Can you pause, Vaughn? How did. Wait, can you pause Vaughan?

How did the woman flirt with you again at the supermarket? I don't know. Didn't she ask me what I was having for dinner? That's right. Oh my God, that's right. She started talking to me at the supermarket. Yeah. Beef.

Beef. Chicken. Beef. Maybe get a Maggi stirrin' packet. I don't know. I'm going to make stroganoff. I was going to make some devil sausages. Just going to slice up some apple and some onion

and the rest is in the magic bag. She's like, oh, gross. Because you can't meet men at work, the supermarket or the dog park. Oh, that's right. I read that one. You just read that one. Are you having a stroke? It's all about devil sausages.

I know. Brain damage. I'm not even drinking this week. And last night I wrote the top six and this morning I couldn't remember what it was or what any of the things were I've said it before I think there's post 4pm Vaughan and he's just like let's just get to bed

Elizabeth said I use them because I work so much otherwise I'd never meet anybody yeah that's fair enough we've got to find some work life balance there Lizzie if I might recommend why use dating apps when you can use the FVH show slash podcast from Brad Olsen? He looks like a lovely chap.

So many people used to say that. They get thirsty for Brad. They get really thirsty for Brad. Tell you what. Is it because he's responsible? Yeah, but you wouldn't like dating him because he'd tell you off about all your jackets. Oh, I know.

And he doesn't grow a beard. Okay, right. He's lovely and tall, but Brady would be a catch. Six foot, what is that song? Six foot two, blue eyes, finance? It's kind of him. He's kind of a guy from that song. For a man in finance, yeah.

Nick says, I've been told that in real life I radiate gay, so I thought I might have more success online. Oh, okay. Nick might radiate gay, but apparently might not be gay. It's like, girls, where's all my girls? God, where do you meet a woman these days? And we're like, it is giving a little bit. God, I'm just looking for a bloody...

I'm just out here having my iced coffee. Yeah. Oh, don't catch me perving at them titties. I don't want to get caught. Oh, man, you know me and fannies. I love them. Can't get enough. Oh, God, I cannot get enough of the fandango. Oh, my God, it's my favourite caught. Oh, man, you know me and fannies. I love them. Can't get enough. Oh, God, I cannot get enough of the Fandango.

Oh, my God, it's my favourite thing. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I could just Fandango for days. Anyway, I'll catch you later. I've got to go and move the Volkswagen Golf. Kisses, darling. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Welcome back to The Great Debate.

Now, Vaughan, we were assuming that you came up with this, why we're debating the best comfort food. Are you hungry? No, there was a story about noodles, wasn't there? Noodles invoked the ultimate comfort food. Shannon, you tried to say that noodles, two-minute noodles, are the ultimate comfort food. I was agreeing with this study, yeah.

I feel like there's something about slurping something up that just settles my soul. Wow. Okay, we'll clip that up. You said in one of those show trailers. I mean, I love a noodle, but if I was going to have a comfort noodle, it would be like an authentic Asian dish.

Big fat ramen. Oh my God. There was a food truck at the CUMMI show. Did you see the lady making the hand-pulled noodles? No, but it's very impressive. Very impressive. It's not a comfort food, though. The lady making the hand-pulled noodles? No, but it's very impressive. Very impressive. I watched it for so long, it was so mesmerising. No, it's not a comfort food. Comfort food is...

Hearty. And it's Sweetie Treaties. Oh! No, I'm going... Okay, what about mac and cheese? You know that. People love mac and cheese. I'm not a mac and cheese guy.

That's a comfort food. For me, it's a pie. Do you know what I mean? If you're going like, oh, I'm feeling a bit grim. Yeah. Like a $2 pie, great. A $10 pie, great. Do you know what I mean?

And you just feel warm and buttery, pastry and sloppy mints, which, you know, Shannon could slurp up. It was great. I'm going pie. Okay, you're going pie. What are you going? You're going sweet. You, you're going pie. What are you going? You're going sweet. I'm going mac and cheese.

You're going mac and cheese. And then also like comfort foods when you think about it's stereotypical, the breakup. You know, your breakup. You don't hit a soup or a pie for comfort. You hit ice cream and sad movies. Yeah, I know what you mean. What about just a bag of chips? Yeah.

A big bag of chips. Lollies. Chocolate. Just a big block of chocolate. Like about just a bag of chips? Yeah. A big bag of chips. Lollies. Chocolate. Just a big block of chocolate. Like basically a cart full of junk. Yeah. Like a junk binge. Yeah, totally.

Or what I finally said wrong, because I was also thinking stew, because I love stew. It's a comfort food. Yeah, but again. Because I can eat it hot, I can eat it cold. But if you've been dumped, is your first thing to go and do an eight-hour stew? No. Do you know what I mean? You need something that's readily available.

Pizza. Good pizza. It's got to be good pizza. It's always got to be takeaways. Easy. Oh, yeah. What about a foot-long meatball sub? Oh, for God's sake.

Meatball sub is the most confused meal available to the masses. I know. That's what I like about it. It's too meaty to be a sandwich. It's too sandwichy to be sloppy. A sandwich shop. A sandwich shop. Yeah, no, I'm not doing meaty stuff.

Oh, you don't do meaty stuff? I reckon cheese. Cheese has to be involved in a comfort food. What about like a shepherd's pie? No. Yep. Oh, God, we can't agree. I would have said anything.

Like a little crustless slop with mashed potato and cheese on top. I mean, we can agree that it's definitely not noodles. It's not noodles. And it's not soup. It's not. It's not soup. Soup doesn't have enough substance. Soup is a drink.

Soup comforts when you're sick. Yeah, it's a drink with some floaty bits in it. It's a gluggy drink, really. I think my comfort food is mince-based. Really? Oh, someone said cheese toastie. Or a good Reuben. Yeah, like a big, buttery, trenched cheese sandwich.

Somebody said a box of scorched almonds. That's madness. For God's sake, what is it, Christmas? Yes, yes. It only is where you'll get many comfort at Christmas time. I'm on board with that. Or a big block of Whitaker's chocolate.

No. It's got to be, to me it's got to be savoury. It's got to be hot. No. It's got to be hot. It's got to be hot and sloppy. Mashed potatoes,

Korean fried chicken, someone's message done. Oh yeah. Korean fried chicken rules, but I don't want to be sad. I don't want to rely on it for comfort. I want to only share good times

with Korean fried chicken. Because then next time I have Korean fried chicken, I'll be like, oh, I remember that want to be sad. I don't want to rely on it for comfort. I want to only share good times with graham fried chicken. Because the next time I have graham fried chicken, I'll be like, oh, I remember that time I was sad. I don't want that anymore. No, yeah, that's a celebratory chicken. You idiot. 851, you idiot. That's a celebratory food.

Parmesan cheese toastie dumped in tomato soup. I stand by the soup. It's too much soup. It's too much soup. Chicky nuggies. Oh, someone said a big fat muffin. Big fat muffin. Too dry.

I couldn't even tell you the last time I had a muffin. It's got to be sloppy. No, not if the service station microwaves it for 10 seconds. Nah, even in the middle there's going to be a dry bit. There's going to be a bit where you're like, and have to get it off the top of your mouth. Yeah, what does a big bowl of pasta? Big bowl of sloppy wet pasta with cheese all over it.

That's where you go mac and cheese, but mac and cheese is... I don't like mac and cheese. Nah, neither. It's got cheese, though. It's sloppy. No, but you need more to it. You need to have a better mac and cheese. Someone said fried rice.

Oh, yes. Not a comfort food. Yeah, it's good stuff. It is good stuff. The people are hungry. Wine. Actually, what the hell are we doing? Wine.

No, that's comfort drinking. Oh, you're right. That's not comfort food. It goes hand in hand. Nachos or the hell are we doing? Wine. No, that's comfort drinking. Oh, you're right. That's not comfort food. It goes hand in hand. Nachos or lasagna? Lasagna? Hey, lasagna. Nah.

Lasagna, it's got everything we wanted. It's cheesy. It's mincey. It's kind of a pie. There's a strong pasta element to it. Yeah. Butter chicken and a cheese naan? Oh, see, that.

Now we're talking. Now we're talking. Okay, wait a minute. What about? What about? Mac and cheese with butter chicken that. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. Okay, wait a minute. What about, what about? Mac and cheese with butter chicken sauce. Butter chicken lasagna.

No. It's possible. What was the butter chicken one I saw? Because we've done chicken nuggets dipped in butter chicken sauce and it blew our

whole lives apart. Yeah. What was the one I saw the other day? Pizza. So get a cheese pizza, like a big sloppy cheese pizza dipped into butter chicken sauce.

Or you just get a couple of takeaway pizzas but then also get a takeaway sauce and then dip the crust into the... I found a recipe for butter chicken lasagna. There's three recipes and they've all got five stars. And instead of the pasta sheets, is it just naan sheets?

No, no, no, no, no. It's still the pasta sheets but it's chicken and butter chicken in between with cheese as well. It's got to be naan sheets. Naan sheets. It's got to be thin naan sheets. No, no, no, no, no. It's still the pasta sheets, but it's chicken and butter chicken in between with cheese as well. It's gotta be naan sheets. Naan sheets. It's gotta be thin naan sheets. Thin, but you can't make a thin naan. Oh, what about thin roti sheets? Now we're talking. Now we're struggling with some

gold. I think that's the ultimate comfort food. So we've landed on, we've collectively agreed that the best comfort food ever is a butter chicken lasagna made with thin roti sheets. And maybe some side nuggets.

And some side nuggets. Life could not get better than that. So AI bots are going to be rolled out into dating apps like your hinges, your bumbles and the rest to help people flirt with people and craft messages and write their profiles for them.

Which defeats the whole purpose of being presenting yourself, right? Like if you're having a bit of banter with someone that's kind of what gets you interest. That's the magic, right? You're like, oh this person's got good banter. Yeah. So I think it's a,

but that, exactly, I think it's for people who don't know how to engage in conversation properly. They can use AI to say like, oh, you know, give me a flirty message or something to say here and that kind of AI would take over for a bit. But then you're going to go on a date. And then do you even,

you're going to have to read back your conversation to see what your AI bot said about you. Do you like my muffins in the morning? And they'll be like, where's your classy, flirtatious banter gone? This has happened before with a guy we both

know. You were there, we were there and he was talking to somebody online and we were crafting the conversation. And we were on fire. Because I imagine girls do this all the time, right? Sit around as a group and respond to a guy? All the time. Okay, so we tried it.

Or sometimes I'll just take over the swipe. So that's what we were like, do this, do this, and then respond, okay, quick brainstorm, send this, da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh, that's too much, that's too much. Yeah, and then he went on a date and she was just like, who is this? That's insane.

Oh, God. This isn't the collective 2011 riz of Fletch and Vaughn. Dude, you need a little in-ear thing, you know? Your friend's telling you what to say. So it's called Match Group. It's a tech company with the biggest in the world portfolio for dating platforms. And it's investing more money into new products for these dating apps,

writing messages and all that kind of stuff. But then, like, you know, psychologists are going, you're going to put these people into these real-life circumstances and they're not going to be able to handle themselves. Because the reason that they're using this AI is because they're lacking in social skills. And then, I mean, our silly little poll just before was, if you are single, do you use dating apps? And, well, over 70% don't. Yeah.

So people are done with dating apps anyway, let alone this kind of AI hellscape. Yeah. And people are, like, there's a lecturer in applied ethics at a university was saying, actually, this is pretty bad and we should have, like, protections against using AI in these apps because it's kind of a form of, like, it's almost like catfishing, basically. Because you're not actually talking to the person. You're not actually talking to the person. And then there's that whole thing of, like,

falling in love with people and da-da-da-da-da. So interesting. I mean, you could just do it now, right, if you were. Yeah, and I guess that would be another angle. Because you know how dating apps always want to have an angle? Yeah. That would be an angle as we don't use AI, we're actual people talking to actual people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, real people. Real people now. Real people now. Real people, real connections. Do you like muffins in the morning? How do you butter your bread? Up or sideways? Oh, shit, it's square? How do you butter your bread? Up or sideways? Oh, shit.

It's square. What do you mean? It's square, though, isn't it? Will you sleep with me now? I butter my bread like that. Do you? What do you mean? You go down.

No, you go down. Go sideways. Wait. Wait, wait. So hang on. You've got a bit of toast. Wait, bit of toast. Okay, this is a bit of toast. I'm like. Dip. No. Wait, wait. So hang on. You've got a bit of toast. Wait, bit of toast. That's a sliver of paper. Okay, this is a bit of toast.

I'm like. Dip. No. Sideways. Side to side. Well, if I was like that. No, you've just gone up now. You turned your bread and you're like, oh, well, like this.

And you turn the bread. This is not odd. This is not odd. Fletch. Sideways. Like this. Butter. Butter.

Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter.

Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter.

Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter.

Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter.

Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter.

Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter.

Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. Butter. He's buttering up. Like some sort of monster. I'm not weird. You think you know someone. Silly little pole. Monday. Do you butter your bread upwards or sideways?

And we have to have diagrams, I think. Someone just said, is this the great debate too? Yeah. Join you on Monday. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. How long you kept your office romance a secret? And then like, how was it found out? Was it revealed?

Was it discovered? Because some places have rules about it, right? Especially since, like, you know, there's been a lot of Me Too stuff. Yeah, totally. And the power imbalance with managers and staff. So this was from the New York Times. It was like, ask an expert, you know, someone writes in. And this person works in one of these workplaces

where a workplace relationship would mean one of them would have to quit. And they were like, we don't want that. We're both loving our careers. So they dated and dated and dated behind everyone's back. And now they're literally getting married and their office doesn't know. And so they're like, how do you go, hey, I need time off to go and get married and do this same time yeah it's crazy so like that's how long they've been keeping it secret for and i was like that would be one kind of hot also and two really stressful i reckon i could tell yeah i reckon i could tell you'd see a little look every now and again or

you'd see them at lunch always hanging out are always hanging out. Yeah. Yeah, you're always living together. Are they seeing each other? Yeah. Yeah. And then also, how do they hide it? I mean, maybe if you live in a big city like New York, you could, but in a small town, you couldn't hide that. Yeah.

You know, one of those big cities like New York City. Yeah, one of the biggest. The biggest city I can imagine. How did you hide it in New York versus anywhere else if it's in a workplace? It's got to do with the size of the workplace surely. No, but I know what you mean. If we were dating

Fletch, which we try and it just wasn't right. Something was wrong. Something was off. Something was wrong. Something. Like because we live in Auckland as well, people would be like, I constantly see you together. Yeah. And then like Vaughan, you would know that we're, like, getting in the same car and we're eating our lunch together.

No, you guys just aren't trying hard enough. One of you starts walking down the road, the other one gets a car, goes a long way around the block, picks them up. For years? New Zealand's too small to pull this such a small. I'm not imagining it's going to be forever. No. No, well, this is the thing.

But if your workplace is against it and you think it's long term, then one of you's got to get a new job. You go out of your way. Okay, so someone's messaged in already. My husband was my boss when we started dating. Hot, hot, hot. I'm now in the finance department, but we're married with two kids. We kept it a secret for four months before it did.

It became too obvious. We also had our wedding at our boss's house. Oh, okay. So everyone's cool became too obvious. Yeah. We also had our wedding at our boss's house. Oh, okay. So everyone's cool. The bigger boss's house. Everybody's cool with it now. Yeah. Okay, well, this is what we want to ask this morning.

0800-DARLS-IT-EM. We want to take your calls now. Text in 9696. How long did you keep your office romance a secret? Currently asking you, how long did you keep your workplace romance a secret for? And like, how did it all come out? Maybe it's still going now.

You can reply anonymously. Because I read an article, I could ask an expert thing in the New York Times because I read the New York Times. I'm very well read. I always get to read the first three lines of their articles. I've actually got a subscription. It's just really great.

Do you both have subscriptions to the NYT. Yeah. I just play their free games. But basically this workplace romance has been going on for so long that they're about to get married and the office still doesn't know that they're even together. Wowzers. That's what we've asked you.

Lots of messages. Lots of steamy workplace romances. I was with this girl for almost a year and one day. There was a kid That somehow saw my messages Instead of screaming I love you He said I love you To someone

That job didn't end well Now why was there a kid Do you think this was a school A teacher A school Yeah Because there's another Message in

I'll dart around it Kept our relationship Secret for over six months It only came out When we were accused Of being a bit On school premises when a student saw us.

Oh, wow. Okay. Me, oh my. Mr. Smith and Mrs. Januno. Oh, you know Mrs. Januno. You couldn't get your hands off Mrs. Januno. I couldn't get my hands off Mrs. Januno's Januno. Yeah, yeah. Januno what? Januno what?

My friends kept their relationship secret for a whole year until they found it hard to get away with booking the same time off to go on holiday. Oh, my God. Are you going to Fiji between the 8th and the 20th? I'm also going to Fiji between the 8th and the 20th. You guys have both come back with matching tans. That's so crazy.

Yeah. And matching braids from Bali. I found out about my husband's workplace romance that had been going on for quite some time when he left his work email open at home. Oh. No. Never leave a paper trail.

Or a digital paper trail. What is a digital version of a paper trail? Oh, it's a footprint. Digital footprint. Yeah. My boyfriend and I worked together. He acts like we're not

a couple in front of the young single woman at work. We've been together for six years. Now, that's a different phoner. That's a different

phoner. When was your boyfriend taking the piss? When was your partner a piece of shit? Join us on Monday. When was your partner? When will shit? Join us on Monday.

When was your partner? When will we have you realise that you're not being treated right? Workplace romance is secret. For three months thinking we would get in trouble. But then another couple in the workplace went public. And we were like, oh, sweet, we're fine. A year later and the boss only just found out about us and he thought it was funny.

So the whole time you were like, we can't say, we can't say. I mean, I guess it depends if your workplace has a rule, right? If it doesn't. It was all going very well, very secretly. Leaving work one day, I said, bye, love you, in front of everybody, to the person I was seeing at work. There's a couple at my work currently who think they're hiding their workplace romance, but everyone knows, including the boss, but they still think they're being sneaky, so we're just all enjoying it. Oh, that would be so entertaining. Yeah. I'd be like, oh, my gosh.

What do you think of so-and-so? Me and my now husband were on the down low for six months because he was in a higher position than me and he's 20 years older than me. At work. Wow. All right. It came out at the V8s. Turn that into a book.

It came out at the V8s after party. I mean, what doesn't come out at the V8s after party? What's the V8s after party? Well, the V8s is the motorsport, the car racing, your Holdens, your Fords. A couple of bourbons on board. Jeez, yeah, a couple of diesels, mate. All come spilling out. Yeah, it's the after party.

Drunkenly bumped into our boss and said something stupid. We later found out that our boss and his boss also had similar stories from meeting their partners. Oh, so all of the people in positions of power had also met workplace romances. Sounds like a little bit of a problematic workplace when it's happened three times. God. One time you're like, oh, heck, yeah, what is the environment? Yeah.

I mean, you go to a V8s after party, it's a powder keg. It really is. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. We're going to call with our pants, not literally with our pants down there, but we're just having a light laugh. Mid-private conversation.

A light laugh off of you. What are you doing? Oh, for God's sake. I know it's Friday, but pull it together, Vaughan. What happened? I was just having a delicious slurp of the laughs. Remaining dregs of my java. Now, I sent this to you.

Oh, my dear, do you know why I sent this? Because you know that Fletch and I socialise together quite often and sometimes, gosh, we get a bit carried away. Vaughn will come out sometimes. Sometimes, but it's seldom. Yeah, very hard to get him out of the house. And then the other day, because Fletch and I like to have a blowout in the cowl. And then the other day Vaughn teased a potential blowout in which he might join and we were like

Yeah, we got excited. We got excited. Special day, special time. Special day. And then I saw this thing on Instagram yesterday. I was like, we should do this. So it's called like a don't open chat. And apparently lots of people do this. You could do it on anything I guess. Messenger, Snapchat is one I

saw, Reels or whatever. Instagram or whatever. And if we were going out, we're going on holiday. Fletch, Fawn and Hayley, we're hitting the road on a genuine friends tour of sorts. We're going to go to Abel Tasman. I said Brazil. Okay, we can go Brazil.

Let's use Brazil. You could do this even for a wedding, any event with friends. A wedding, a birthday, a party, just a night out on the town. Yep. And then you open a specific chat. So we've got our own chat, but we'd open one that would be called the Fletch 4 and Hayley Don't Open chat. Yep.

And during the night, we drop in videos, messages, photos into that chat, but you cannot open them in the moment. Now, this is hard for someone like me that cannot leave a notification bubble on my phone. You, in Messenger, if you opened it to send a video in it, that would take away the notification, but you wouldn't have to watch the previous videos. No.

Whereas Snapchat, it would just come through as a lot of purples. I'd have to turn my bubbles off, my notifications off, because it would do my head in, and I'd accidentally press it out of habit. Yeah, and then it would just come through as a lot of purples. I'd have to turn my bubbles off, my notifications off, because it would do my head, and I'd accidentally press it out of habit. Yeah, and then it would open. Instagram, you wouldn't do it on Instagram DMs. It wouldn't work very well in their world. No, no, no.

So the idea is that... So then we would have our night, and you would go, like, we'd take photos that we could post on Instagram, but this one's full of, like, naughty things, sloppy moments. And then maybe a week later or the next day when we're sitting around on the couch recovering, then you put it up and we all enjoy them together in the here and now. Like you just, like you screen share.

Yeah, yeah, you screen share. And you watch it in the lounge. The one I saw was like all these girls who had had this huge holiday. I think that, were they doing it for spring break? Yeah, spring break. And then they all were sitting around this couch with like, you know, comfy clothes on and some snacks and stuff.

They're like, right. Open it. Screen share, open the thing. And there was just like the most intense and sloppy content. And it's like- I'm sure some of the memory blanks were filled in from the night before.

When was that? Great idea though. I totally think this would be such a good idea if you had a wedding. And then what do you do? In Snapchat, do you press, go on your phone

and go screen record and then scroll right to the top and press and just let it play through? Yeah, maybe. Does that, does Snapchat automatically start playing the next one

or do you have to go out and then you, would you edit it together and send it to everyone or it's not for that? I think it's just to like relive it once and be like,

holy moly. I think, yeah, you don't want the evidence. Well, the whole thing of the don't open chat everyone or it's not for that? I think it's just to like relive it once and be like holy moly. I think yeah you don't want the evidence. Well the whole thing of the don't open chat is that it's the content that perhaps is a little bit more you wouldn't put on your stories. Not for the internet to see it's just for the group but also yeah imagine if you had a wedding and then you invited all of your guests

into a don't open chat and then the whole night they're just dropping in behind the scenes stuff. As someone who's had a wedding and the table planning and everything, you'd have different groups. You'd have don't open chat for. Oh, yeah, because you'd be your friends, like, sending the most raucous stuff and then Nan would be like,

we're just having pudding. Hi to the lovely couple wishing you a long and loving marriage. And we just want to say we love you. Thank you for a beautiful day. And then the next one's like... There's something that popped into my head this morning, actually, that I think we should talk about

because I know everyone will have a version of this. Okay. The thing that someone said to you once and you've never forgotten it. And almost you hear it every day. It lives ring free in your head. Here's mine. I was living, I can picture the house. I was living in the house.

There was some doors off of the kitchen, like French doors. And I, there were two boys outside, whose names I won't say. And they were out there and I was like against the window teasing them and they were screaming. I was like, what? And they opened the door and I was like, I can't hear you.

I'm 11 years old. And they said, you've got a monobrow. Hayley Chain. And I did. And now everyone's jealous because I've got these great, strong Scottish brows. But in 2001, it was not desirable. No. Everyone had Gwen Stefani's, didn't they?

That's right. And then this sparked this whole thing. I had a monobrow and they told my mum. I was like, mum, I had a monobrow. And then she took me to the place and then I got the Gwen Stefanis and I've spent literally 25 years trying to get them back. Trying to get them back. I got the Gwen Stefanis. But it's so funny.

When I was a rich girl. When I had the thick brows. So it's funny that every time I pluck my monobrow now, it doesn't traumatise me but I just think of them. You I pluck my monobrow now, it doesn't traumatise me, but I just think of them. You've got a monobrow. And every time I just pull out my little hairs or I see, I catch a sort of, I just think of that comment from you and Dan. It's body stuff.

Yeah, body stuff. The body stuff's one of those things. And I bet the people who said it would not have any recollection of saying it. No. No, probably not. But not, because then I was like, everyone has those things that someone said to them not have any recollection of saying it. No. No, probably not. But not, because then I was like, everyone has those things

that someone said to them once and they think about all the time. Another one was I did my first ever solo show in Edinburgh at the Fringe, right? Huge thing. And I had this tiny little review in a newspaper and he called me empty, like as a woman.

Empty. From a man. I was like, oh my God, my first ever international review. And I read it and it was like, the show's not great. This isn't funny. I don't really get it.

And she's empty. I was like, wow. Oh, that's hard. Now, obviously, I don't believe that I'm an empty person. No, I wouldn't describe you as empty. No, thank you. I would say too much. Too much.

A bit too much. A bit too much. Flowing cup brimming. Yeah. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sort of elephant toothpaste. Where's the sauce? bit too much. Sort of an elephant toothpaste. Where's the source? Turn it off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's the leak? But this is what I want to know. What is the thing that someone said to you once that you always hold on to? And maybe it's something, you know, I'm sure there's lots of horrible things, but just like something stupid that you're like. And a throwaway comment. And a throwaway comment.

I know a 70-year-old man that won't take his shirt off at like the beach or whatever because when he was a little kid, someone said, you're a square little boy. Square little boy. And to this day. To this day. And it's weird because it's throwaway comments. I had this recently. Apparently, I called a ferris wheel rusty.

And I've had to apologize multiple times to CJ of man's amusement. And they go around all the way. Because Sade knows him from Hamilton. And I was like, when I first met, she hadn't told me she knew the Carnie folk. And it blew my mind. And then I throw away comments. There's something about a rusty Ferris wheel. And he messaged me last month saying, I bought a new Ferris wheel.

I was like, what? And he's like, because you called my last Ferris wheel rusty. I said, CJ, what are you talking about? And he's like, you did the first time we met. And I was like, I'll run his mouth off smithy. And I said, that's horrible that I've put that on somebody. I'm full of regret about that behaviour. I hate that that's that person's,

I don't like it at all. No, I know. We're getting some absolutely wild things in. My mum's workmate once told me I could be a model from the neck up and I think about it all the time. That is so ruthless. Sorry to laugh at your trauma.

I'm sorry to laugh. A boy I liked said I had a lazy eye. So you're always looking being like, what is it smaller? I've got a lazy eye. Yeah, when I smile, one of mine goes a little skew of bits under Paris Hilton and she had a sex tape. Very successful sex tape. Very rich.

I would say probably the most successful sex tape. Yeah, yeah. It's better than Kim Kardashian's. I'll say it if I had to rank them. Oh my God, we're being inundated. Okay. How ready these were

in your mind to text us. Someone's throwaway comment like you said, 25 years ago. Yeah, and maybe it still changes your behaviour to this day.

0800-DARLS-IT-M. Call us now. When I was 11 years old, someone said to me, you've got a monobrow. Two boys said it and I was plucking my monobrow this morning and I just hear these little voices going, got a monobrow. Two boys said it. And I was plucking my monobrow this morning,

and I just hear these little voices. Do you know what? They probably just wanted to flirt with you. Oh, they were in love with me. Still are. Probably. Still are. Tough, Bicky.

A well-known leader of a Tauranga church once told me I had a monobrow. She wasn't a leader of a church at the time. She was my high school crush. Oh, wow. So I went home and just ran a razor blade straight up. And then I just leader of a church at the time. She was my high school crush. Oh, wow. So I went home and just ran a razor blade straight up and then I just had two square ends for the eyebrows. And that took, like you say, you mess

with your eyebrows, it's a decade of you've got to work your way back. Yeah, you do. So we want to know, what is the thing that someone said to you once and you just always remember it? Emily, what did somebody say to you? Hello. Ten years ago, my boyfriend at the time, this was something that I

never had noticed on myself so I was completely unaware but we were sitting at the beach one day the sun was shining on my face and he told me I needed to go home and shave my beard. Oh. And I'm very fair

so I'm blonde and once I went home and had a look, like, there were some hairs there. Fluff. Because I'm blonde, it is unnoticeable. But every week now, hair removal, I am so paranoid about it. Yeah, any time the sun's on my face, I'm like, oh, my God, people will be looking at my chin hairs. Oh, my God, Emily, you should get in the studio and have a closer look at my chin right now. I am not, oh my god, people will be looking at my chin hairs. Oh my god, Emily, you should get in the studio and have a closer look at my

chin right now. I am not fair. Who gives a toss? Well, how long did this boyfriend last after that? Um, about two months and my partner now, because he sees me hair removal it and he's just like, I love your hair. Yeah, just a little bit of

fussy, wasn't he? He's trying to make up for it but yeah, that's something that will stick with me. Well, thank you for sharing Emily. Yeah, just a little bit of fussy, wasn't he? He's trying to make up for it, but yeah, that's something that will stick with me. Well, thank you for sharing, Emily. Yeah, thank you for sharing. There are so many messages in. It's crazy. A chick at work 10 years ago told me I had a weak chin. I get surgery this year to correct my chin.

I never noticed that. It just gets into your brain, doesn't it? Someone messaged saying, can you tell Emily I'm sorry? Do we think that's Emily? Do we think that's the boyfriend? Can we try to get the guy on the line? No, it's not, is it? Shannon's trying to get it.

Surely it's not. Emily, if you're still listening, get ready to get an on-air apology from this piece of shit. Someone said, when I was 14, a girl at school told me I looked like an ant because my little fringe pieces were sticking up like antennas. I'm now 28, and every day I do my hair, I make sure that I don't look like an ant. You don't look like an ant.

You don't look like an ant, darling. You look like a beautiful butterfly, if anything. A girl called my curly hair buffy when I was 14. I've now straightened my hair every day for the last 21 years. Buffy. Because of what one person said. Yeah. What is a good strategy or a technique to get over something like this?

So it doesn't live re-drink. I'm not a psychologist or a therapist but surely there's a way to let go of things. Surely. I mean, this is the problem though, like Emily and like this woman who texts and saying once someone told her she had hairy

arms and now 20 years later she removes the hair on her arms. Yeah. Once you start these things, you kind of can't stop. You know what I mean? Like you make it worse and it gets thicker and stuff. God, I don't know. My grandma watched me walk up some stairs and said those are cankles if I've ever seen them. Oh, for God's sake.

Do you know, I've currently got our text machine to display 200 texts a page. Over a page. Yeah. Of people carrying around these things that are throwaway comments in the time. We joke, but you've got to be careful about what you say. You just don't know if it was the one thing that people will hold on to.

You know, a little comment here, a little comment there, and here are people still bloody shaving their monobrows off years later. My hockey coach told me I had a masculine voice at trials in front of about 50 year eights. I'm now 36 and whenever I hear myself speak, I bring my voice up an octave. Let me tell you something. Oh my gosh. Nothing sexier than a woman with a deep voice.

Oh my God, I know. Nothing. Like you hear woman Scarlett Johansson, like you think of your sexy voices, it's always raspy. It's not high-pitched. It's not Fran Drescher as the nanny. It's not.

Mr. Sheffield. You embrace the lower octave. Live in it. We can't even read them all. They're wild. Don't you know, my grandfather once said in disgust, you're just like your bloody mother. And do you know what?

I take it as a compliment every day. Good. You think about it and be like, what a privilege to be like her. A boy at school once said to disgust, you're just like your bloody mother. And do you know what? I take it as a compliment every day. Good. You think about it and be like, what a privilege to be like her. A boy at school once said to me, look up. And then I looked up and then all his friends laughed. And he said, I told you that she's got big nostrils.

I now to this day, to this day, I avoid looking up at 31. Oh, don't. Somebody messaged in, this makes me so sad. It is so sad. It is so sad. You've got to be careful. Choose your words wisely. If you don't have anything nice to say,

don't say anything at all. Shut up. And if someone says something mean to you, punch them. You have my permission. Just punch them square in the jaw. I don't think that's how we deal with things. When you were trying to look for a way to get through this,

I think a good punch. My husband told me I run weird. I can't run in front of people now. I joined a gym and the first thing I had to do in the group class was run. I cried and went home aww

husband told you you run me he said it lovingly though surely that's a little light razor between the two love lines someone said like Hayley

a friend in primary said to me was F off monobrow and I think about them every time someone compliments me now on my thick slug brows and shout out to my mum who stood over the eyebrow lady for the first five years

making sure they didn't make them too thin. Russ, you asked about techniques. Russ Harris apparently has a good technique to help with this kind of thing. One of them is to humorize the statement. For example, say it in a funny voice in your head every time you think it. So, okay, let's apply this to your monobrow saying.

So you would say what they said to you in a funny voice to humorize it. You've got a monobrow. Yeah, it's Coop at the Park saying. Oh, hi, Hayley. You've got a monobrow. It takes away a little bit of the sting. Yeah, that's really good.

And then you're like, hi! And you whack Kermie. Yeah, okay, I like that. And not because you're a pig. I didn't think about that. Wow. I don't know. I'm not calling you Miss Piggy.

Wait, what's happened? Because now I've got a new one. I just got rid of one one, and now I didn't think about that. Wow. I don't know. I'm not calling you Miss Piggy. Wait, what's happened? Because now I've got a new one. I just got rid of one. And now I've got a new one. Hi! Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. Facts of the day, day, day, day, day. Grow up. Sorry, I said a silly joke just before that.

You just savagely booed me. I was really ruthless. I said that my mum had seen Vaude at the QMU show and said, gosh, he's lost a lot of weight. And Fletch goes, did she say anything about me? And I said, yeah, she said, yeah, look who found it. Rough, eh? Which she obviously didn't say.

Rough, rough. Which she didn't say. Oh, gosh. Well, that's going to live with me for the next 10 years. Yeah, well, there you go. We've all got something new. This week here at Fact of the Day, it's been things named after people who turned out to not be great.

Yeah, bad people. Yeah, bad people. Today I want to tell you about Hans Asperger. Guess what got named after him? Aspergic syndrome. Aspergers. Asparagus. No, I lie.

He jests. Hans Asperger was an Austrian doctor who studied. Uh-oh, here we go. Yeah. He's a Nazi. He's coming Nazi. I bet you he's a Nazi! It's coming! Nazi! Bet you he's a Nazi!

He was an Austrian doctor who studied autism during the 1930s and 40s. Okay. He is a Nazi! He later described a sort of branch of what was believed to be just broad spectrum autism at the

time. So now we're more aware of the spectrum of autism and there's a whole SPF 50 SPF 30 at least 30. Sometimes your mum comes back with an SPF 8 from, Coppertone SPF 8 from Hawaii and you're like mum that's not enough for the New Zealand

sun, you've got to have more and he described an aspect of autism which later became known as Asperger's Syndrome. While he was once believed to be protecting children that he was studying from the Nazis, later it turned out after he'd studied them enough, he'd just

give them to the Nazis. No! That's the worst one of the week. I know. That's why I saved it for Friday. That's the worst one. You're headlining with the biggest a-hole. The biggest problem. Wow! Oh worst one. What, you're headlining with the biggest a-hole? The biggest problem. Wow. Yeah. Oh, my God.

And so because- Why haven't we renamed that then? I don't know. And the thing was, even he didn't discover autism. A Soviet psychiatrist called Gunrus, not going to try the last name, described a condition and said, this isn't like what we think it is and just get lumped in with children

with learning difficulties and stuff and things as far afield as Down syndrome, which were kind of just lumped into, I don't know, too hard. Something else. This was the guy, the Soviet psychiatrist, he said there's something more to this. And so he was kind of like studying autism

and said it's an autism spectrum and then the Asperger's syndrome got added. Now, the American Psychiatric Association officially removed Asperger's syndrome, replacing it with autism spectrum disorder in 2013. But around the world, haven't followed suit. Still named after a doctor that would study them children and then be like

and hand them over to the Nazis. Wow. You hear about it less. Definitely I went to school with a couple of girls that had Asperger's and I've got family members with Asperger's but like you don't hear about it as much now. It's a name not as much. And even within Asperger's there's now different

that's its own spectrum. So there's different categories within it. He was a very bad man. A very bad man was Hans Asperger's, who had the Asperger's syndrome. He probably called his friends fat as well. Yeah, he would have fat-shamed people for sure. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. You know how you know your car, your own car through and through. You know how to push it to its limits. Yep. You know, when the fuel light comes on on your car, you're like, please. I've got a week. Please, Light.

A week? I've got a bit of time. Excuse me, Light. I'm busy today, all right? Calm down. Well, I'm currently driving a borrowed car. Like, it's not my car. It's a temporary car.

And I thought, so yesterday, I didn't realise because Vaughan had driven it the day before. Oh, don't blame me. Well, you could have given me a heads up that it was running low, but it's all good. But yesterday I drove into work and I noticed the fuel light just came on as I was driving in, which often in most cars nowadays,

it's like 70k left, you know, and I live like 22k from work so i was like that's fine got into got into my car yesterday to leave and was driving along the motorway listen to a book having a good time like feeling good and then i looked down and the fuel gauge went like i don't know what i don't know what it was doing but it went from like 45 and then it went 20 19, 18, 17, not as I was doing kilometres, as I was just driving metres. So you get more than a fuel light, you get the distance

to empty. Yeah, fancy fancy, very fancy but it got down to 6 and I'm sitting in peak hour traffic, crawling there's not even I couldn't like hoon off to an exit.

It was I've never have you run out of petrol before? Nah. No, I've never done it. Because you get a fine on the motorway. If you're on the motorway because you cause like

massive congestion. Yeah. And you shouldn't have gone on. On the Harbour Bridge you get in big trouble. Yeah, my friend blocked the Terrace Tunnel in Wellington

and got a huge fine because it's one lane in one lane out and everyone was just like Oh my God. Running out of fuel in the terrace tunnel? Yeah. And then she had to sit in it while everyone was just like...

Ripping the fingers? Oh my God, it was the most nerve-wracking thing and I did that thing where you know, you're like I turned off my book that was playing, turned off the aircon, window down, stopped breathing because I knew that breathing the air in the car would use up the gas, cl off the aircon, window down, stopped breathing, because I knew that breathing the air in the car would

use up the gas, clench the anus. I don't think that's a thing. And even, you do all these weird things, I start holding the wheel lighter. You know what I mean? Because you don't want to squeeze the wheel too hard in case it uses petrol. Again, I don't think that's a thing. It was honestly the most,

I was just sweating. So how, did you make it to a servo? Like with two kilometres on the back, which is bad given it's a borrowed car. So how many k's from where you got this, the fuel? Probably like 10. Oh, 10 and you didn't have a fuel station before then? Yeah, I was on the Auckland motorway.

Crawling. Literally every off-ramp has a servo by it. No, but I was heading west and they're all off and into the bloody, you know what they're like, they're just west, it just goes on forever. Still a few, yeah, a couple of kilometres off the... Yeah, and then I had to like crawl through the... I was, I'm

sweating now thinking about it. Oh yeah, that's stressful. It was so nerve wracking. You've got to just, if you don't know the car, put petrol in. Yeah. It was just awful. Imagine what it's like being in an electric car. Oh yeah, I've heard about this.

Kilometre anxiety, distance anxiety. Yeah, yeah. Because it's constantly... You just can't fill it up in every petrol station, can you? No, you've got to find a charger.

But is it replaced by the joy of helping to save the planet? Does that combat the anxiety? And getting to support Elon Musk. I just can't get enough of the guy. Oh my God. Have you seen people

who have been putting... Vandalising Tesla. Even in New Zealand, someone got arrested this week for vandalising Teslas. And even a Polestar, which isn't even Tesla. No, Polestar's Volvo's electric car.

They're cool. I like them. Some people that have Teslas that are like, well, I recognise this is a problem and I don't like Elon Musk anymore, have bumper stickers that say, I hate Elon Musk. I hate Elon Musk as well.

I bought this before he went crazy. When Tesla's first arrived, we were all like, oh, those are pretty cool. I mean, he put one in space. Remember that? Yep. With the guy. He's a weirdo.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. So this weekend, I'm going to help with a project out of town. Yep. And I was just saying that I'm excited because I've got all my stuff sorted and my tent and my... He's staying in a tent. I'm staying at a campground. And Fletch is like, why are you staying in a campground?

And I said, I quite like. And he's like, get a motel or a hotel. Just a little cheapy little inn. And I'm just like, no, that's expensive. That's expensive. I'm doing this on the cheap. I'm doing this and I quite like camping. You're going to be doing manual labour though. Camping by yourself.

When you get scared of the monsters? No, I bought the monster repellents. But where are you going to shower? This is why you don't go camping solo, George, you're the monsters. No, it's the gremlins that are going to get your feet.

Just make sure your feet are tucked in. I'll tuck them in the sleeping bag. Yeah, make sure they're zipped in. And if it's hot and you have to under your sleeping bag and your feet are a little bit exposed, then you're like, uh-oh, the gremlins. Wait, are you doing, because Aaron's camping at the moment and he's doing proper camping with the thin little foam mattress.

I'm 43 years old with an already bad back this is why you get a motel no or a airbnb it's too expensive i'd show you like i'll be able to find one and i was like no then none of these will none of these have compared prices again he books a week out do you know what i mean if he had gone on yeah i could have got like a hundred bucks or something i've got to be with you on the camping though because sometimes when you go to a motel and you can't take your own pillow and like there's stains all over the place. Motels are a bit manky.

Motels are a bit manky. Campgrounds keep their shower blocks tight these days. Oh no, you're going to get fungi feet. Jandals, jandals. No. You're not locking beer feet. Are they Shannon's hats? Yeah, we're in the pads.

Shannon's famous pad hat. Duck tape and Libras. Is it a like $2 coin shower and you've only got a certain amount of time to... They don't do that anymore. I don't think they... No, they're nice. You've got half the soap in you

and you're like... You just keep having to hit the button. Well, you haven't finished... You haven't finished doing all your stuff. Oh, no, they do do that. Ha-Hei Camp... No, not Ha-Hei. Up north, one of the campgrounds do it

where you've got to go buy your tokens. Oh, do your tokens. Yeah. Shower tokens. No, they don't do that. Yeah, I reckon. No, shower is part of the whole thing. Go in the tokens. Oh, do your tokens. Yeah. Shower tokens. No, no, no. Shower. Shower. It's part of the whole thing.

Go on the ocean. No, don't do that. Grab everything you think you need and go up there and then realise you've forgotten your towel, but it's too late because you're already nude and wet and you've got to put your clothes back on and go find your towel. Oh, wait, so now the guy from radio is walking around a camp park where there's all these people in the nude. It's a nude campground.

With what we know is quite a small thing. Do you know what I mean? Well, I'll warm it up in the shower before I get out. I'm not a monster. It's a nudist campground. It's a nude campground. With what we know is quite a small bed. Do you know what I mean? Well, I warm it up in the shower before I get out. I'm not a monster. So what, you're going to drive down soonish and you're going to pitch your little tent on your own. Yeah, and then I'm going to get out my nice, big, comfortable Kathmandu chair.

Yeah. Remember that chair they gave me? Yeah, lovely chair. I use it all the time. Sometimes I'm at home and I'm like, man, I'm in the mood for that chair and I just pop out this big moon, this big round chair. Yeah, I've seen them. I've got myself a nice, fresh bottle of Jamesons and I'm going to and I'm like, man, I'm in the mood for that chair. And I just pop out this big moon, this big round chair. Yeah, I've seen them.

I've got myself a nice fresh bottle of Jamesons and I'm going to watch the blood moon. Oh, okay, okay, okay. And then I'm going to tell some teenagers to shut up. Because I've got work to do tomorrow. I'm trying to sleep. And they'll say, why are you in a campground, granddad? And I'll say, none of your goddamn business.

Because I left it too late to get an Airbnb. And then they'll take my pigs out in the middle of the night and my tent before. And you'll suffocate. He's flying away. And the wet tent will be on me and I'll be in a dream and then I'll have a dream that I'm being suffocated by a wet jellyfish.

Okay, well, I look forward to your camping story. Yeah, please be safe. On Monday. Please be safe, darling. Look, I'm camping in Iran. Please be safe. It's Mount Maunganui. He would, though. He'd be like, guys, I're not going camping in Iran. Please be safe. It's Mount Maunganui. He would, though.

He'd be like, guys, I'm going to Iran. Do you know, where are you staying? I'll just bring you in the tent. Bring you in the tent. There's plenty of desert ground there. Nice dry ground to peg into. Yeah. George is up next.

Friday jams. Another shot at Secret Sound as well at 11. Have a great weekend, everyone. Someone said, the sink and the dink, telling Vaughan how to spend all his hard-earned money is pretty rich. The sink and the dink. That's single income, no kids, double income, no kids.

Sink and the dink. How dare they call us that? I like that, though. The sink and the dink. We do have some great sink and dink afternoons. You guys carry on like a couple of sinks and dinks, I'll tell you what. Okay, if you had to rate, review or marry Fletch, Vaughn or Hayley, what one would it be? Okay, I would marry Hayley.

I would have sex. Wait, which one is it? No, no, no, no. It's only rate, review, marry. Oh, okay. No comment. If I have sex with the podcast, I don't know how that would work. It's only rate, review, marry. Oh, okay. No comment. I don't have sex with the podcast. I don't know how that would work.

Give us a sexy little review, though. Play ZM's Fletch, Fawn and Hayley.