ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 14th May 2024

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

Top 6: Other NZ Problems  Hayley's Undies  Silly Little Poll!  Have you followed through with a Lie?  Jewellery Store Signs  Bet I Can Guess Your Mums Name!  Anonymous Phoner!Fact of the Day Day Day Day Daaaaay!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletchvaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletchvaughan and Hayley. I think I might be becoming a bad back person. Oh, really? Oh, that sucks.

Right in the middle of my spine. It always just gets out of, it just needs a click, like every 20 seconds, every 20 minutes. Oh, that's not good. Or maybe you were too hunched over on your phone. I think I've been playing too much piano. Oh, right. Posture.

Too much piano. Posture, darling. Piano. Vince isn't at the piano too long. Well, straight back today, please. Yeah. Straight back, posture. Well, the mic.

I'll just have to be far from the mic because I'm quite tall. Well, you can move that up closer. Or I could squat. You could just like rasp to the voice too. Yeah, I do. I did a lot of singing and saying my show out loud yesterday. Okay. In the garage.

In the garage. In the neighbours thing you go, cuckoo bananas. I think I'm mad. Horny and mad. So your comedy show opens tomorrow. Tomorrow in Wellington, yeah. I'm excited. It'll be good.

Will it? You know, rich for me to say. Sure it will be. Well, if you can iron out the problems before I see it on Saturday. Yeah, you're seeing it Saturday. That would be great. So you've got like a few dress rehearsals basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I'll work it out so that Fletch

gets the good show. And then by the time you see it the following Friday, Vaughan, far out. It's going to be perfection. I'll work it out so that Fletch gets the good show. And then by the time you see it the following Friday, Vaughan, far out. It's going to be perfection. I can't wait. The top six is coming up. Sure is. The top six are the very New Zealand problems.

Where did he get that idea from? Well, a Northland island has the very unusual problem. Too many Kiwi. Too many? Too many kiwi. Too many? Too many kiwi. It's a bird sanctuary. It's doing too well.

So what are they having to ship them off? They're eating them. Oh. I've always wanted to try. I feel like it would be like chicken. It has been my longstanding belief that if you don't want an animal to be endangered, you start eating them. Why?

Because then people will, like, pay to eat them. Oh, we'll farm them. There'll be too start eating them. Why? Because then people will pay to eat them and there'll be too many of them. Like cows. Do we have a shortage of cows? Sure don't. Sheep? Sure don't. True dat. Put them on the menu at a very high ticket price. Apart from me, it's my idea. And you can eat them.

You get free. Harder with whales. Yeah. That's where I've come to a hmm on this one. Hard to farm a whale. Not impossible. Need a lot of space. Given that we've got too many Kiwi on that island, I've got the top six other uniquely New Zealand problems.

It's coming up soon in the top six. Next. Why the world isn't allowed to have nice things. There is a portal that is being abused. A portal? A portal. To another dimension? Not quite.

So there is a portal of sorts that has been connecting Dublin and New York. So basically it's a live stream, like a live camera feed. Okay. And you look into it and you could stand on the streets of New York and look into a moment of time in Dublin. And then they could be looking at you and you can

connect with people across the world, like a little portal, like looking through a little window. Right. They've done this before, haven't they? Yeah, I'm trying to remember, it was is this sponsored? Is this promoting a product? Yeah, I was trying to remember. Is this sponsored? Is this promoting a product? No, it was an artist in Dublin that sort of did this one. Because I'm sure it was a product-related thing last time I entered.

Or like tourism. Somebody ruined something. Yeah, like cities tourism. And they did it during COVID. Yeah. Did they? There was something during COVID like this. Was it like a connection with the world?

We all weren't spending too much time on Zoom meetings. Yeah. Well, it's literally what it is, but it's just live all day. And it is a way to sort of connect the world. Yeah. You know, people have been teeing up. I know someone in Dublin. I'm in New York.

Come meet me at the pool. And they wave. And oh, it's lovely. Now you said we can't have nice things. Yeah. Can we guess what happened? Yeah. Somebody got their balls out.

Yeah, balls, balls. We've got balls, we've got butts. We've had a woman in New York bumping and grinding her ass across it and then the police coming and removing her from the situation. Okay. One of the worst things people are doing, excuse me one moment, they are holding up their phone,

like they're looking up terrible things on their phones and just like holding it up to the camera so it takes up the whole screen. What? Just like controversial stuff and like rude things. A specific terrorist attack in New York in 2001. What? Yes. You're kidding me Somebody held up

Yeah 9-11 That's not good So that was in Dublin that they held that up And it's being streamed in New York City Wow So I think that they're considering maybe removing it Because the Irish, the Dublin City Council was like

I was supposed to just be like nice and fun. I will say a lot of the rough stuff's coming from Ireland. Some Irish larrikins on our hands here. People flashing because it's just

live. There's no filter to it. So people just walk by and flash their boobies. I sort of feel like I might flash my boobies if I did that, just for a laugh. Yeah, I don't know what I could get out of it. Is most of this stuff happening at night when they're drunk? Yeah.

Yeah. Because it's on the like busy city streets. Is it streaming anywhere? I don't know if it's streaming. It should be, eh? Dublin, New York, Portal. Streaming. Because it's definitely like streaming straight to,

oh yeah, because there's nice moments. Two sisters connect via New York to Dublin Portal. Bringing strangers together. Smiles, waves and flash body parts. So I don't know if there's no like immediate link. It's not going to last, is it?

This is not going to last. Oh, we're human beings. We can't. We are predominantly bad. That's my takeaway from this. We are predominantly bad people and it should go. We can't have nice things.

We can't have nice things. Eleven past six. Next. The IRD could owe you money. The URD.. 11 past six. Next. The IRD could owe you money. The URD. The URD. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley.

Well, the IRD has a bunch of money that it owes New Zealanders. I love this. That it can't get hold of. Oh, it won't be me then. Yeah. Because they can get hold of me all the time. They're always emailing me. You know, you guys do your own.

You guys have an accountant. You file your taxes. You will be well aware of any money you have to pay or receive. But a lot of people aren't or they might, I don't know, change banking. There's a whole bunch of reasons. So you can go to the IRD website. You can either log in with your MyIR or go to the actual legit IRD website and search your name

and see if the IRD owe you money. You're hoping, aren't you? You're hoping. Oh, I mean, I haven't quite finished my tax return. Oh, there's a bill. I forgot about that one. I haven't quite finished my tax return yet. I'm in the process.

You love putting off a tax bill, don't you? Yeah, because you have like a year to do it. And I don't, I'm very rarely owed money. Yeah, you're always paying. Paying. I pay just enough, if not just a little bit short, and then at the end of the year I'll pay it. So they're saying that this is different to a tax refund.

So this is unclaimed money held by IRD when someone can't be found. But it would have been a tax refund at some stage. Yeah. Like, why would they have money to give to someone if it wasn't a tax? Yeah. Maybe you haven't put in your bank account details or something. Yeah, they say it could have been that you had an old bank account with some money in it that you hadn't used in five years. Or you have unpaid wages from over five years ago.

Oh, interesting. Or you may have left something at a hostel or a hotel and after six months of it going unclaimed, the business owner sold it and passed the money to IRD. What? What? How bizarre. No hostel or hotel owners doing that, right? No. Not a one.

No. Not a one. It could be unclaimed dividends, proceeds of life insurance policies and awards from court cases or prisoner allowances. So a whole bunch of reasons why it could be, yeah. That's wild stuff.

Now I feel like I might be in line to get some. I've left so much stuff in hotels. I remember like I might be in line to get some. I've left so much stuff in hotels. Well, I remember when I first left drama school and I never did a tax return. I would just pay my tax and never filed a return. And then the first time I did, I got so much money because I was like not making enough money

to pay the amount of tax that I'd been paying. Do you know what I mean? Like I was under the threshold. So then there was like not making enough money to pay the amount of tax that I'd been paying. Do you know what I mean? Like I was under the threshold. So then they, there was like thousands of dollars. And I was like, how amazing. As of the 31st of March this year, there was $477 million of unclaimed money. Give it, oh, divvy it out. Yeah, that's 477 and then six digits.

So that's nearly half a bill. That's insane. Holy hell. So, I mean, go and... For whatever reason, you could be owed money. The IRD website. Have a search. But they're also saying be careful of scammers.

It's 100 bucks each. It's 100 bucks each. Unofficial. Yeah. It's about 100 bucks each, right? And you've got 25 years. They hold onto it for 25 years and then I guess it goes to the government after that?

25 years to claim it. Oh. And if you are owed money it takes 10 to 12 weeks to get once they like process it. Yeah, right. Once you apply and stuff. Shit, I forgot to pay some tax too. Yeah, I literally just opened my ID and was like, oh, yeah.

Okay. I don't like this part. I thought there would be, I thought there would be, yeah, I doubt what. Okay. The top six is next. Top six uniquely Kiwi problems. Visit island, a bird sanctuary, too many Kiwi.

Too many? We've got to start shooting them. Too many Kiwi. What? Take a look. Well, we might as well. We've just got to steal them from their family and from their homes and uproot them and put them somewhere else. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. What a good problem to have. Too many Kiwi. Seven, excuse me, seven kiwi are captured near Waitangi when their bush habitat was about to be cleared for pine forest were released onto Motoroa Island in the 80s. They're doing so well.

They're doing so well. Our cute little fat little non-flyers that the population has apparently grown into the hundreds putting pressure on the limited habitat and food available for the protected birds. Too many. What great news. I'll take one. Me too.

They're pretty cute. We've got a biggish backyard. I'd have a couple. I'd keep them with the chickens. Imagine the eggs. Safest. Big. Big eggs.

On your property, away from the dogs and cats. Yeah. Keep it away. Oh, the cat. Yeah. Rollywood. Hoonah Kiwi. Hoonah Kiwi. Well, away from the dogs and cats? Yeah, keep it away. Oh, the cat. Yeah, Rollywood hoon a kiwi. Hoon a kiwi. Well, that's the problem. So many cats have hooned kiwis.

Shut up, Gareth Morgan. Their numbers are down. I'll say it once. All right, Gareth. If they came in and said you can have that cat till it dies, but no more cats, I'd be all for it. What? If they said you can keep Rolly, but when Rolly dies,

you can't get another cat, I'd be all for it. You know who you sound like? Ferret people. You sound like ferret people. No. This guy with like 80 farm animals and pets, but we're not allowed a cat. The only thing that'll fulfil the hole in my heart

when the day comes in 20 years' time when Rolly passes will be another cat. Yeah. No. It's going to be snowmall cats. Nothing will fill the hop. I've got a place you can rescue a camp from. Really? Thank you.

If I and cows or goats start eating Kiwis, I'd happily say no more. Really? If they ate birds, I'd say no more. Yeah, I know. But your cows don't cuddle up with you and know your soul and, you know. Good. No animals inside. Consoling you when you're sad.

No animals inside. Schnug all in and go, row against your legs. Not for me. Not animals inside. Consoling you when you're sad. No animals inside. Schnuggle all in and go, and row against your legs. Not for me. Not for me. Wow, too many Kiwis. That's a bloody lovely problem to have. I've got top six other uniquely New Zealand problems. Okay.

Number six. Small towns with not enough crime. Not enough crime. Yeah, fair enough. Do we have any of those? Small towns with not enough crime. Yeah. Yeah. But you never have any of those? Small towns with not enough crime. Yeah. Yeah.

But you never hear about them. You only ever hear about the small towns with the crime. With the crime, yeah. Oh, gosh. Got to get more crime in those. You don't know what you've got till it's gone. They take paradise. They put up a parking lot.

That's beautiful. And then charge you for the parking overnight from 6pm till 8am. Yeah. Stick that in front of a horse. No, no, no. Number five on the list of the top six other uniquely Kiwi problems. Weed that was too good. Too good.

Too good. Someone grew weed. It was too good. They had to burn it all. They had to get rid of it all. It was just so great. It was too good. Number four.

Too tasty ganja. Yeah. No cough, no nothing. Yeah, no, I know the ganja. You're well versed in the ganja. You know me and my passion for the marijuana. For the ganjas. Yeah.

Yeah. Number four on the list of the top six uniquely New Zealand problems. Someone cooked too much hangi to perfection. Oh, no. Not anything you've done. No. Well, I had enough. I just didn't know what perfection. Oh, no. Not anything you've done. No. Well, I had enough. I just didn't know what I was doing, really.

But that's a uniquely Kiwi problem. Yeah. We've got too much. What are we going to do with it? There'll be leftovers. Feed it to the birds. There'll be leftovers. Number three on the list of the top six uniquely New Zealand problems,

the car that definitely shouldn't have got a warrant of fitness, just got a warrant of fitness. Oh, my God. Yeah. Bugger. There's six months more to kicking it off, kicking that can down the road. That's tough.

Fantastic. Number two on the list of the top six uniquely New Zealand problems. Your mate that went fishing just caught more fish than he could eat. You're going to have to have some. Oh, God. I don't want to cut them up, though. Can he cut them up? All the good parts about fishing without the bad parts about fishing.

When someone gives you a whole fish, eh? What am I supposed to do with this? What do I do with this? You take the guts out. No, I'm not touching it. How? Where am I getting into it? I'm not a filleter.

I'm terrible. I tried once and half the fish, so now I just cook them whole. And then you just basically pick off the bones. No. Pick it off the bones. No. It's a great way to end the show. I do a bit of Thai red curry paste.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now we're talking. But where's the guts? You've got to cut the guts out. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'll just go to the supermarket. Yeah, yuck.

Yuck. And number one on the list of the top six uniquely New Zealand problems. You went to school with the cop that pulled you over for speeding and he was your bully and he's on his redemption arc and he feels really bad about it so he lets you go without a ticket. Instead of a ticket

get an apology. Yeah. Heartfelt. Yeah, he's on his redemption. I haven't really, I've never stopped thinking about how awful I was to you. I'm so sorry.

Yes. Have a speed on me. Yeah. Off your trot at 1.30. Please be my guest. Maybe just, maybe pull it down to 1.05. That's sort of a forgivable speed. I won't forgive 1.30. Please be my guest. Maybe pull it down to 1.05. That's sort of a forgivable speed.

I won't forgive 1.15, 1.20 again. But 1.05, because I treated you so poorly. Yep. No problem. Go on, get out of here, you little scallywag. That's today's top six. I don't believe I've been cheated on as a partner. I also haven't had that many boyfriends.

I'm a sweetie. Do you know what I mean? I'm a hard to get sweetie. You also have said you'd be quite impressed if your current fiance managed to pull that off. I'd almost like give him some, I'd give him some slaps, some daps and spell out my brother. You'd be impressed.

You know what I mean? Yeah. You'd dab him up. Yeah, dab him up, man. Good for you. I'll pour him. You know what I mean? Yeah. You'd dab him up. Yeah, dab him up, man. Good for you. I'll pour him a beer, slap him on the back. My man,

he'd be out there getting it. I'll be proud of him. Tell me all about it. But apparently, so let's say, to put myself in this situation, if I found out that Aaron had cheated on me, and then I decided to forgive and forget, not leave,

but I decided to go, okay, it's happened. Lots of couples do. It's possible. It's definitely possible. However, statistically, I am then, me, nine times more likely to have an affair myself afterwards. Oh, because you've kind of been given permission? Yeah, a little bit.

And it's like, what are you going to say? What are you going to do about it? What's coming from you? You don't have a leg to stand on in this argument. Yeah. So this was a study in a scientific journal called Deviant Behavior. Oh, what a journal. Get my hands on this little journal here.

I'm going to see what else these guys are up to. Deviant behavior. Have a little look. It's from California State University. They call it revenge intimacy. They say often anger is the motivation as opposed to just straight temptation, like you getting tempted by someone else. You might just see someone hot and be like, you know what?

Yeah. Someone hits on you and you're like well you know what I was just cheated on, I was just cheated on you wanna, the aim is to inflict similar heartache and pain on your partner it's literally tiff attack so yeah, this was from the university

of whatever I just said, California California, yeah, and researched and studied thousands of couples about cheating and what happened. This is a monthly journal. Let's subscribe. Established in 1979. And it's been released monthly since with different studies and different things. On deviant behaviour. Deviant behaviour.

Volume 45, number five is there. Imagine what's... Volume 45, issue six is there current. And how do you reckon that's changed as well over the years? Like from when it was first released, you know, like nearly 45 years ago. I don't know. Like things would have been way more deviant back then that aren't as deviant now. But this isn't just sexual deviance.

This is like deviant behavior, like dark subject matter. Oh my goodness. Dark subject matter. Like these are some of the articles in this month's journal. They collected money and used hammers to remove my front teeth. One chance criminality and victimization experiences in Lagos transport corridors. Oh jeepers.

I'll cancel my subscription. I sort of thought it was a fun, sexy thing. Theorised in the use of performance-harming substances and methods in sport as four different types of deviant behaviour. Oh, yeah. So, naughtiness. Naughty. Gig prostitution and recruitment processes a false promise of freedom. Work on the titles.

They're not really drawing me in. Get some better titles. Yeah. It would be fascinating reading though. Do you think that cheating, if we just isolate that, would be more common now than like

the free loving late 70s? I think good question. Because I don't even know. Because then I go if you look at sort of like the late 80s and 90s it was like marriage. Like good strong family marriage and you're like are we cheating?

I think the 60s and 70s free love thing was a very specific part of society that did it. I'd say sexual freedom's more across the board now than it was then. But cheating's not the same as like open relationships or, you know, stuff like that that we're a bit more liberal with now. Yeah.

Because that's not cheating. I don't know. I'd love to look. It'll be interesting to see. Well, maybe you can sign up to the journal. It'll tell you. The Deviance Journal. We all chipped in for membership.

I read this article title wrong and I thought, oh my God, that's so funny. I missed four letters of a word. How do you skip four letters of a word? How many letters are in the word? Early adverse childhood experiences and later delinquency, considering the role of middle child risk factors. It says middle childhood risk factors, which is obviously our time period, not just watching the middle child for risk factors

of adverse childhood experiences and later delinquency. I think your brain has seen what it wants to see there, Vaughn. Yeah, the attention-seeking middle child that he is. Revenge sex, weaponising infidelity. There's another journal. There's another one there. Weaponising infidelity. Maybe that's where the study came from.

Yeah, it sounds pretty similar. Do you know, I just realised that Vaughan's the middle child of us. Yeah. Three as well. He is. I'm the middle wherever I am. I'm the baby. I'm just a little baby.

She's just a baby. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Silly little po. Silly little po. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little po. Silly Little Pole What do you do when you have to burp in public?

In public. Did you just burp? In public. In public when you have to burp, what do you do with it? This is, we, this is a little public because I thought Hayley was smelling herself. Yeah. Because that's how I would. I chucked my nose down my.

No, you're straight. That's why your t-shirt's stretched. Look at it. It's got a stretch. But you were burping down your shirt. Yeah. To hide the burp. You know me, I love Prosecco.

We were at an event and I'd had coupley Proseccis and it just brings up a lot of air. And so I'm always just doing that down my shirt. Because I don't want to do it in people's faces. I think I'll either swallow or if I can just have a little side exhale, like away from whoever I'm near. Crook the mouth, hey? Oh, you've got to crook the mouth.

Yeah. No, Aaron's delivered me a couple of bloody straight to the faces, because you know when he gets into a conversation he'll be like, oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That's yuck. That's yuck. Well, 50% of people swallow it.

23% blow it up. Up into the it. 23% blow it up. Up into the sky. Oh, yeah. 13% blow it down the shirt. Yeah. 14% loud and proud it. Oh, no time.

Loud and proud. Vulgar. No, no. You've got to take out the noise so it just becomes a Yeah. Vent it. Yeah, that's vulgar.

I'd almost rather someone fart in my face than burp because the burp is so specific to the food. Maybe not in my face, but I feel it because the burp's at face level whereas the farts, it's shooting down to the floor. And it goes, kind of softly whops. Yeah. Whereas you receive a burp hard to the face.

I do it loudly and proudly and then blame my partner, says Annalise. It's funny watching his face because he looks around frantically, making sure no one turned around and then shoots me a look. So she burps and then... Oh, like in public, I'm assuming. Anybody else also felt like they've been on the

edge of a burp the entire time we've been talking about it? I literally just went like... I just had to kind of stop and check if I did actually need a burp. But I feel like I need a cough more than a burp. Tessa said, I physically cannot burp. Never been able to.

Never made any sound that even remotely resembles a burp. It's followed by a millisecond later by vomit. She can only burp as a precursor. I've done it. Surely if she's on the fizzies or the soda water, that makes me burp. Yeah, where does all the air go? Yeah. Oh, you're just full.

I don't know. Maybe it just doesn't expel itself. It just leaks out. How good's a burp when you're eating a really big meal and then you do a burp and you're like, oh, I've got space. Yeah, yeah. You know, you feel like all the air. You're like, I could actually eat a bit more.

That's property for pud. Yeah. I've just freed up some space. Yeah, yeah. You know, you feel like all the air, you're like, I could actually eat a bit more. That's property for pud. Yeah. I've just freed up some land. Yeah. Let's get a pud built there. I've just subdivided. Isabella said, burp into my mouth and then blow it out the side of my lips. Yeah.

It's a classic. Yeah. It's a classic. It's a classic. Can't be beaten. The classic puff up your cheeks and put a fist to your chest. Oh. Like, yeah. Yeah, but then you're still going forward. The classic puff up your cheeks and put a fist to your chest Oh Like yeah

Yeah but then you're still going forward Yeah That's an old man thing But a heartburn What is that? I need a cough or a burp I need something to happen on my throat That's silly little pop

Oh I hate I hate it Yeah I hate it. Yeah, you hate it. I hate it. I can't get rid of it. I've had it for over a week. I prefer you burp in my face and have to hear that

hacking pop again. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now guys, I've just noticed something because I've been travelling around a little bit. I've been to Wellington like three times in the last month and I'm going down tomorrow

for five days. And then I'm doing lots of things at the moment. Your comedy show is opening tomorrow. It is opening tomorrow. I think there's like four tickets left. Oh, that's nice. Off you go. Or don't.

I don't care. Good reverse psychology there. Yeah, thanks. Don't even. Don't buy the last four tickets. I want them empty. Because maybe during the show I'll want to have a sit down. You think about that?

If you could have left no seats for me, where will I sit? If they're all together, you could like lie across them. Yeah, just be like, guys, let's take five. I'm exhausted. I'm actually very unfit. So I'm just going to take five minutes to catch my breath. So I've been like in and out of suitcases. I spend a night at Fletcher's house.

You know, like I've just got all these bags on the go. And I was like, I need to pack for Wellington. And I've sort of been noticing the numbers of my undies going down. And I was like, well, surely like, you know, we're renovating so there's a couple of sets of drawers around

the house. The tradies are taking them? Is that what you mean by that? There aren't any tradies. It's just Aaron now. So then there's the washing basket, there's the laundry where you go straight into the machine, washing basket in the thing, and then there's two sets of drawers. And I just went through yesterday,

I was like, surely I've just missed a bag of dirty laundry that needs to all get washed or something, and that's where all my undies will be. So I went through the washing basket and found like two pairs. I was like, okay, put those in the machine. Went through the suitcase that we just had from Wellington, one pair in there, chuck that there.

That's it. I can't find, where are my undies? Where have they gone? This sounds like someone doesn't like your undies and is taking them out of circulation. Well, producer Jared just suggested that perhaps it was Morgan Penn who is so adverse to the size and the coverage of my preferred granny panties

that maybe she's boycotting them. But how's she getting them? She hasn't been around your luggage, though. No, she hasn't been around my luggage or my house. And we don't have a washing line because we haven't built it. Yep. So if we dry outside, we dry on the back deck on a clothes horse and then finish off in the dryer.

Oh, you could have one of those neighbourhood cats that's taking your washing, your undies. Cats can't get them off. Our dog will pick a sock off the clothes horse. And, you know, cats, they always have that, undies have that smell, that lingering smell. No, they're freshly washed. The cats are drawn to it.

That one thing for her to come here and say her undies are going missing, another thing for you to say she's going to rank. Because they rank. Because it's a rank. Wild. The neighborhood cats are. Actually, let's take that straight up to HR. It's been a while, but we're going to run that one straight up to HR

and get a ruling on that. Can you, on national radio, say your co-worker has a rank down stench? I didn't say you had a rank. I would wash it and it wouldn't even do anything. You said pungent stench. Like it's not. Remains on the. I can tell you.

There could be a cat that's stealing your undies. It happens all the time. You see the news stories. Wow, he's taking this long to tell me. Oh, thank God you've brought it up. You've got such a stinky. Now he's saying it smells like jelly meat. Oh, my God.

She's saying she smells like a chef. A can of chef. All this after me going through a thrush-free summer. Which I, again, will applaud. A thrush-free summer. And this guy comes out and says, oh, bloody, will applaud. A thrush free summer. And this guy comes out and says, oh, bloody with jelly meat over here. Oh my God.

Standing in knickers. How dare you? I was just trying to inquire as to where my undies are and I've been absolutely torn apart here by my co-worker saying that I've got such a ragged downstairs. I never see that. I'm a co-worker who is solo. I'm with you, regardless. Oh my God. Well, I'm just saying, maybe get the camera on the back porch

next time you're putting the washing up. That's actually not a bad idea. It's either a cat or it's a horny teenager. Maybe rub a little extra jelly meat in their crotch. Yes, why? I don't want them to take more of them if they're already getting them. Or a bait pair. I'm low.

And sew an apple ear tag in. I'm wearing skinny Hayley undies. I'm wearing undies from like two years ago that I knew they'd cut me in half today. Okay, you can cut in half. Yeah. Well, maybe you need to do a shop. I'm going straight to farmer's after work.

Yeah, do a, like, are they on special? Are they on special? Hold it there on a marker. Yeah, only if they're on special. I'm a jockey. I'm a jockey. Yeah, you've got to find a jockey. I am too.

Don't try to be friends with me now, you guys. Absolutely. I was on your side the whole time. Dragged my name and my genital's name through the mud. Through the jelly meat. Through the jelly meat. You dragged me by my ankles through a pile of jelly meat. Told everybody.

I will never recover from this. Also, I reckon some people will have a little when they open the jelly meat tonight for the cats. Oh, great. Then they'll go to feed the cat and they'll think of me. Awesome. What a cool association. I wouldn't have said that.

Boy. I can't believe you did this. Don't put her on him. You said it, Fletch. He's team jelly meat. No problem. I'm pro chef. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughn and Hayley chef Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley

Play ZM What are we watching? What are we watching? Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley What are we watching? New segment Good stuff We want to talk about

What we're watching at the moment Because there's a few Big announcements For shows I imagine We've waited for For a long time Oh my god, did you see Adam Scott

wrapped Severance? Which means we are waiting so much longer. A year? A year? Heavy editing? Don't make a show that good. Yeah, the season one is And they make us wait that long.

But that's why, there was obviously the strikes, but they had written it and they weren't happy with it. Yeah, they wanted it to be perfect, which we appreciate, but God, I just like need it. The Bear season 3 is on the horizon. That's coming out in June. Yeah, they go fast.

I didn't even know they were filming it. It's going to be out. Well, one of the big announcements, of course, is Bridgerton is coming back on Thursday to Netflix. Bridgerton season three, which I believe, you know how it follows, because I didn't watch season two, because Regé-Jean Page is gone. Well, the girls just threw up their hands.

Was it hot? Because season one, we all watched it because it was gratuitous sex. It was trash, though. No. Oh, sorry. No, no, no. I mean, sorry, it's quality television. There's pig today.

That's why it won all of the awards, eh? Yeah, yeah, because it's class. Season one, yeah. And season three is supposed to be the spiciest yet. So is this following, because season one was What's Her Face and What's His Name. And then season two followed his brother. Thingamajig and... His brother and

another hot... That guy. Shayla. And then season three, it looks like it's following Mrs. Penny Washing-Washington. Yes. And one of the other brothers. And one of the other brothers! We're going through the brothers. It's Pollen or... Pollen. Penny other brothers. Colin. We're going through the brothers. It's Colin. Colin.

Penny and Colin. Oh. That's a couple name. How embarrassing. That's a couple name. Well, the third season, it's coming out in two parts. That starts on Thursday on Netflix. So everyone's very excited about that.

And apparently, yeah, quote, super steamy. Okay. Because we all remember the staircase scene from season one. I don't. I didn't watch it. Not on the stairs. Okay. Because we all remember the staircase scene from season one. I don't. I didn't watch it. On the stairs. On the stairs. Occupational stuff. That guy left Bridget in.

What's his face? Because he's like, you know, I want to do other stuff. And he really hasn't done any other stuff. It's a meme now. I think that he was like, I'm a bit better than this. And he wasn't. Was he in that Dungeons and Dragons movie? Yeah, he's a meme now. I think that he, yeah, he was like, I'm a bit better than this. And he wasn't. The kind of smushy stuff. Was he in that Dungeons and Dragons movie?

Yeah, he's done a couple of things. Wait, was he the guy in the... Yeah, he was the paladin. He's a good looking dude. What's a paladin? Do you really want to know? Don't ask if you don't want to know. I don't want to know.

We can talk about what a paladin is. Shut it. Sorry. Shut it right down. Has he not been in other things? I think I've seen him floating around. He's like popped up here and there,? I think I've seen him floating around. He's like popped up here and there, but I think he was.

Nothing as big as Bridgerton. Yeah, and I think he was wanting to go on and be like. Was he in that action Netflix movie with Ryan Gosling? You know, that one that they filmed in like Eastern Europe? Yes, maybe. That action movie, that big budget. The Grey Man. Grey Man? Yeah, The Grey Man, yeah.

He was in that. He's in the Dungeons and Dragons thing and then he's done a couple of small things but Bridgerton was the biggest thing. Hey, give him time, you know. Maybe he's just off doing other things. Also on the horizon, you mentioned the new season of the beer. House of Dragon is only a month or

so away. I'm looking forward to that. I'm going to need a recap. I'm going to need one of those fans put together those YouTube clips like 20 minutes of highlights to bring me up to speed. There wasn't that many episodes. You could probably crank a rewatch. I could crank a rewatch. I thought it was great.

Do you know, I've just finished Jeremy Clarkson's Clarkson's Farm, the third season. I'm good. I love that. Sade doesn't like Jeremy Clarkson and I've never been a huge Clarkson fan. I was always James May

at the top the original Top Gear 3 I was always a James May man. Yeah he's a bit polarising. But Clarkson in this you see he's actually one of those guys that probably talks

a bit tougher than he actually is deep down. Like when some stuff happens to animals he gets really upset. He gets really upset when animals aren't.

He's going to shoot a horse in the head. Well he doesn't shoot a horse. He doesn't shoot a horse in the head. Well, he doesn't shoot a horse. He doesn't shoot a horse in the head. I've read the articles. But he cries when a pig has to get put down. A pig has to get put down. Until he eats it.

No, you can't. It wasn't going to be him. Or did you read that story in America, this family, this mobile, like you know how they do mobile butchers? Home kill. Yeah, home kill. This home kill team turned up. This is to a family in America and accidentally killed their pet pigs

because they got the wrong place. And they're like, here's your pork mince and your chops. Imagine people coming up to your house, Fawn, and killing your animals that are definitely just pets. Yeah, because they got the wrong address. But I get mince and sausages out of it. You're not going to eat Hermione and hermaphrodite. Sometimes hermaphrodite.

All of my animals start with H and one of them's, well, one of them's Hermie, but it's short for Herman, not hermaphrodite. Oh, okay. Right. Also, John Mulaney did a thing for the Netflix comedy festival in LA called Everybody's in LA. And I love it.

And last night I watched an episode with Sade and I was laughing pretty much start to end. And when we finished it, it was one of those shows that she said, I think you got more out of that than I did. That's okay. Which is fine because she said there was funny parts, but probably not as funny as I was making it out to be.

Because I saw on that, that's got lots of pop-up cameos. Amazing. It will not beat Unfrosted in terms of cameos. Now, hear me out. Unfrosted. I of cameos. Now, hear me out. Unfrosted. I've heard about this. I saw the trailer for it,

and the thing that hooked me is Hugh Grant's in it. He's a very silly character. He's an old British actor who plays, like, mascots for cereal brands. And I was like, I love it when Hugh Grant doesn't take himself too seriously. Now, it's Jerry Seinfeld, and you know the story behind it. Because he was on one of these episodes of this John Mulaney show.

He talked about when lockdown happened, he wanted to write something that made him happy. Yeah. And he thought the only thing that really ever made him happy, no strings attached, was Pop-Tarts when he was a kid. Yeah. So he's like, I want to tell the story of Pop-Tarts. And it's the story of this like American race from traditional cereals

to like a breakfast treat, which is the Pop-Tart. And it's like candy. It's like watching Willy Wonka. And I was like, I think this might be a kid's film. And I said to Aaron as we started, like, but to a kid? And then I saw its mature rating and it gets very silly. And every single minor character, whether they're there for like a quarter of the film or like 10 seconds, is a famous comedian.

Oh, wow. Every single face, you're like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. It's worth a watch. I actually think it's so delightful and funny. Rotten Tomatoes list of shows they're looking forward to. And on Friday when Unfrosted came out, Clarkson's Farm and John Mulaney shows came out.

Clarkson's Farm, 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Okay. John Mulaney Presents, 86% on Rotten Tomatoes. Unfrosted, 41%. Yeah, look, it's so trash, but I don't know. I'm just tickled by it. I'm tickled. If you want a little bit of fun, poppy trash. Okay. There is also a movie coming out. It's out. Okay, it's out. It's called

Billy and Molly, an otter love story. It's on Nat Geo. It's about some otters that are in love. It has 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. All I need to know is that there are otters. I have a fizzy nose like I'm gonna cry and I don't even know anything else about it. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley.

There I did something. Not quite as bad as this when I was at high school, but I um, I'll tell the story first. There was a gentleman who is at university and he, this was shared on Twitter, it was the friend, and it says POV, my friend asked the professor to push back his final exam because he, quote,

broke his neck, which we can all agree, I've never done it, major injury. Yeah. I'd go wrist, you know, so a bit more believable. never done it. Major injury. Yeah. I'd go wrist. You know? Yeah. So you're a bit more believable. I can't write. Yeah?

Yeah. But the professor said, that doesn't matter. You don't need your neck to sit this exam. So in you come. Then it's the video of his friend walking in with one of those like full brace, not just a sponge, but a full like plastic neck brace, saying like this and walking in like this. And the friend's just laughing because now he has to play out the lie.

Yeah. Because you can't just say, well, I didn't break my neck. His neck is fine. He just wanted to get out of the exam. He had to pay for this intense neck brace in order to commit to the lie. And then I just Googled, how long does it take for a broken neck to heal? A minor fracture will have six to eight weeks in a brace. Oh, what? He's claimed he's broken his neck,

which can kill you. Well, that's what I always thought, breaking your neck was, but it's severing the spinal cord will kill you. Yeah. But two to three months in a rigid cast for a broken neck. So now this idiot, basically, I mean, I don't know how long he has to keep it up for.

And you know that the lecturer knows it's bullshit. Yeah. You'd just be like, I need to see your doctor's thing. Yeah. Health insurance. He didn't think it through. As a teacher, you would 100% let them wallow in their lie. Oh, yeah.

Oh, 100%. Every day, how are you? Yeah, we've got your special chair with a cushion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd have to be like looking down and then writing. It'd be really weird because you'd be looking down, but you can't move your neck. Yeah, look, he's in that full like plastic,

like to the sternum plastic thing up his chin, and he is playing the game. Now, I didn't do it that bad, but I did French for four and a bit years. Now, in the bit years bit, when I was getting over it and I just hated it, we had to do an oral exam where you had to do a big speech. Yeah.

And I just had not done it. And so I wrote a note to my French teacher saying, Madame, je suis désolée. I can't do it because I've completely lost my voice. Yeah. And she was like, oh, no, well, pop in and see me. We'll have a talk about when we might reschedule. You can't talk because you've lost your voice.

Oh, no. Wait, you did not. Give it to us. Give it to us. So embarrassing. Bonjour. Bonjour, Madame. Oh, my gosh.

It is as bad as you say. Yeah, it's so embarrassing. Bonjour. Bonjour, madame. Oh, my gosh. It is as bad as you say. Yeah, it's so bad. So, yeah, I'm not quite sure when. This should have been your tour for Kare audition. Oh, no. This is some of your best work. Oh, no. I would have got straight in.

Girl with no voice. And doing all that, like, even talking. Also, it was like laryngitis-y. Yeah. Oh, my God, my God, my God. And so what? Did she let you off the exam? We rescheduled it, like laryngitis-y. Yeah. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. And so what, did she let you off the exam? We rescheduled it and then I dropped out of French. Right.

Picked up double music and I was like, like, screw that, I couldn't be bothered. Anyway, I want to know when you had to follow through with a lie. Now maybe, like this guy, he just wanted to get out of something. Yep. And then, I don't know, you got called out or someone called you a bluff

and you had to like follow through on this lie and do a full performance as well. I love this. I love this. People have to do the performance. Okay, well, let's take your calls now. 0800 DARS at M. Call now. You can text through 9696.

When did you have to follow through on a little lie? Or a big lie. Or a big lie. Or a big one, yeah. Maybe you had to fake an injury. Or some poor bastard in America has to upkeep a lie that he broke his neck and wear a neck brace for, I guess, six to eight weeks minimum. Because he said he broke his neck to get out of doing an exam. And the professor called his bluff and said,

well, come in, you don't need a neck. You don't need a neck to do this exam. His friends mocking him with photos of him in the exam in the neck brace. Coming in. Yeah. Oh, I can't turn my head. Anyway, we want to know when you had to follow through

with a lie, really commit and give a good performance. Katie, when did you follow through with a lie? So it was when I lived in Perth and I actually just remembered I worked at the bar that I'd gone out to. Yeah.

So I'd gone out that night so everyone knew I was out but I was so hungover the next day that I called in sick and said that I'd

sprained my ankle on the way home like into the front door. So then I got that day off, but following the following week and a half, I had to walk with a limp. Yeah, a sprain takes actually a surprising amount of time to heal on an ankle. Yeah, it was quite bad. And my boss was my neighbour, so it had to be real convincing.

I couldn't, like, just stop as soon as I'd finished work either. Oh, my God. I would have gone home and pulled the curtains and stomped around on that ankle. Oh, wow, that's so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Out to the washing line or the mailbox. I love that you kept that lie up for a good week and a half. It was a very bad hangover.

Yeah. Well, that's a hangover that is now lasting like two to three weeks as you sort of taper out this limp. Yeah. And you have to remember which foot it is too. Yes.

Well, don't actors, I've heard an actor say that you put a stone in your shoe so that you remember to have a limp. Oh, that's the next time, Katie. Stone in the shoe.

Yeah. Katie, thank you. Some messages in. Victoria said when I was at primary school around the age of seven, kids in my class who wore glasses had their own star charts and they'd get a gold star by their name every time they remembered

to bring their glasses. Oh yeah. I really wanted a gold star so I asked mum for sunglasses and then made them look like regular glasses and started taking them to school. Didn't you fake an eye test to get glasses? Because I wanted Anastasia glasses, tinted yellow glasses.

I'm alone. Yeah. Set me free. And I said, I did. I had to commit to the bit and be like, oh my God, it's so bad. Fletch. But why would they,

why did they need to be yellow? Did you have a sort of a light sensitivity or something? No, because that was like, it was the 90s and cool people had tinted yellow glasses. Yeah, but they didn't need them for reading. It was like autism, I know. Yellow tinted glasses, sunglasses. I wanted glasses.

I wanted to wear them all day in the classroom. But you didn't fool them though, did you? No, I also, I'm just realizing I did this lots. I once wanted to get out of athletics, so I said I had a sore knee. And again, my mom took me all the way to the doctors and whatnot. And then they were like, it might be like water on the knee, as in like operation. She may have water on the knee.

And I did this thing that every time I put it down, it would give way. And I was like, oh, my God. Sold the bit. Sold the bit. Sold the bit. I got crutches from the hospital. And I was like, oh, my God. Sold the bet. Sold the bet. Sold the bet. I got crutches from the hospital. And I had to be on them for like three weeks. But there was nothing wrong with you.

I had crutches at Middletown High School. I was walking around primary and I was like, oh, my God. And I felt so cool in my crutches. It was cool when someone broke their leg and they brought crutches to school and you had crutch races. It was me, man. I had crutches. No injury. Such an attention seeker.

I know. So, Fia messaged in. She faked a sore stomach to get out of athletics as well and ended up getting her appendix out, even though it wasn't ruptured or anything. Oh, my God. They just said everything's adding up to be an appendix. And once they were in there, they were like,

well, we'll just take it out because we're in here. It's not fine. And then by then you're too deep. You're like, do I tell them I'm just lying? That's the thing, because kids, they're not subtle. They're not like, oh, I've got a bit of a sore tongue. They're like, ah. And you're like, man, if she's in that much

pain, it's got to be appendicitis. We told my parents that my husband's allergic to cats. Really badly allergic. When he isn't allergic to cats, just so we didn't have to take their devil cat. Oh, yeah. When they're like, someone has to take this cat. Yeah. Don't want your devil cat. The lies, the lies

that we weave. Yeah. Oh my god, a lot of people doing it as kids. Wait, who's putting their finger up their bum? I read the end of a message and not the start. When I was about eight years old, I wanted something to be wrong with me so mum took me to the doctor with a full stomach and then when the doctor pushed down I said it was sore and low

and behind and he said, well, if that's the fact, I'm going to have to put my finger up your bum and I said I'm, if that's the fact, I'm going to have to put my finger up your bum. And I said, I'm fine, and I was lying, and I've never lied again. I just want to have a bit of attention. No, and that would kind of like... No, a doctor's not putting it...

But also as a doctor, you can't threaten to put your finger up a kid's bum just to play their bluff. Surely it's a last resort. Absolute last resort. My relatives were bugging me about being single. So I told them I had a boyfriend. It's all going really well. Just to get them off my back.

Three years later, they're like, when do we get to meet? Three years later. Three years with fake Andrew. Just get a friend to go along. I know. I had to do a 10K run for NCEAP in year 13. I lied saying I can't, I've got really bad shin splints. The lie went so far I ended up getting x-rays

and they found a stress fracture. Oh, see, it's a win. Win, win. They found something. Oh, my God. You must feel pretty good if you're lying because you don't even know it's there and then it's there and you're like, my God. You must feel pretty good if you're lying because you don't even know it's there. And then it's there.

And you're like, told you. Oh, my God. Read that top text. My sister had a weird mystery illness that put her and my parents in a hospital for months when she was nine. Months. She forgot how to walk, would have to crawl around, all sorts of symptoms. The hospital wrote it off to a mystery virus and they even did studies on her. She admitted at the age of 30 she made the whole thing

up to see how believable she could be. What? And then they say my sister is a psychopath. Your sister is a psychopath. A grade A psychopath. Oh my god. They did studies like, Miss, we gotta work it out. They would have done tests and scans and brain

She's regressing. She's regressing. She's regressing. She's forgotten how to walk. She can only crawl. She can't talk. Isolate the family. Oh, my God. That is nuts.

That is insane. If I did that as a kid and admitted it at 30, my mum would have dragged me back and made me apologise to the district health board. Oh, my God, me too. That is, that's out of control. You wasted all those lovely people's time. There is a woman who works, her name is Sarah.

She works in a jewellery store and she has shared, well, she said she thinks she can spot straight away when a male comes in and is a cheater. Now I read this and I was like, oh yeah, this makes sense and I was sharing it with a group this morning and Carween, producer Carween who also used to work in a jewellery store. Did you ever

get to set off the fog cannon? Did you ever get smashed and grabbed? I don't think that those were in the stores when I worked there. You worked in the good old days when people would just look at the jewellery. But we had like safety buttons and stuff everywhere. And they'd be like, just literally give them anything they want. Did you work in a proper jewellery store?

Yeah, a big chain one. Oh, I sort of imagined Carween in a LaVisa. Oh my gosh. What is a LaVisa? Just like, you know, like cheap jewellery. No. I love a LaVisa. Wow. I love LaVisa. I love LaVisa? Just like, you know, like cheap jewellery. No. I love LaVisa. Wow.

I love LaVisa. I love proper gold. You know, like $15 for a fake diamond necklace. Right. But not your proper stuff. Yeah, right. Oh, good for you. And so you would see cheaters coming in all the time and you could spot them.

So she claims that the first indicator would be buying two separate pieces of jewellery. Yeah. If they don't match, like they're not a set or they don't make sense together, that's a bit of a sign. Who's buying their side piece jewellery? Have you not seen Love Actually? I have. I always thought that was Snape's downfall. Yeah.

If you were a side piece, wouldn't you be annoyed if your person hadn't got you something? They're getting my piece. They're getting my piece on the side. That's jewellery enough. Are they getting a two for one discount or are they just taking advantage of the sale that's on? No, well, if you were taking advantage for the sale it was on, you would get maybe a necklace and the matching earrings. And that would be one gift for your wife.

Yeah. But if you got a necklace and then a totally different thing or a different medal or a different style, do you give away? That would be for the person that you're cheating on. Okay, right. Yeah. My favourite example of this was when a guy came in

and was looking at a gold piece, like a gold necklace and I was like, beautiful, da da da. And he's like is there any chance that you also sell that in silver? Oh my god! Literally, she just said, the concern is when a man would look at yellow gold earrings and then move across to the

white gold or silver section and be like, oh I'm also into this. Now we're women we're one or t'other. But this is the thing, this guy might not know that. white gold or silver section and be like, oh, I'm also into this. Now, we're women. We're one or t'other. But this is the thing. This guy might not know that. No, but also you wouldn't buy the exact same thing in two different... Maybe he's going to be like, which one do you want? My mum's going to have

the other one. No, no, no, because then this solidified that it wasn't for his mum or his sister or anything. He then... The place I worked at sometimes over Christmas will do a deal where you can then add on a little other gift for like 30 extra dollars or whatever to steal. He was then like,

oh yeah, I will actually add that on. It'll be great for my mum. Yeah, liar. Oh my gosh. Wow. So that's the tale. Oh, there were, yeah, not just two separate gifts but like different metals.

And then also this woman said that she would ask like, oh, what's the occasion? Is it for like daily wear or is it like special things? And then they'd start like making up excuses like, oh, I don't know. It's just like one's for this and one's for, you know, and then it'd start to get a bit fumbly when you start to. I love that.

Or they go, oh, yeah, it's for my daughter. And i'm like oh this was how was your daughter this is probably too big for her wrist and they'll be like no no i think this will fit she's a chunky wrist she's here now my daughter's she's got a big wrist yeah she's got a chunky wrist oh wow and you'd call them out and they'd be like no no it's fine, it's big enough. Wow. This is like, I can't believe that you're so like, oh yeah, this is such a thing. Would they pay with cash or would it be on the card? Nah, often just a card. But a business account.

Yeah, right, okay. Sneaky weasels out there, sneaky weasels. Play. ZDM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Hey you on the phone, I better can guess your mum's name. Well,

it's mid-May and I'd say this year Vaughan, you've been really in touch with your psychic abilities. You guessed all the mums at the live show. And the dad. And the dad. You've guessed the mum's name I think every time we've done this. Maybe that's why I can't shake this sickness. I've depleted my psychic reserves.

I don't know if that's how colds and flus work. I just can't shake this. How would you know? Yeah, you're a doctor. Yeah, fair call. You're a doctor. What are you, a doctor? You're a doctor?

Yes, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a doctor, but I just assumed that it had nothing to do with psychic abilities. Doctor, doctor. Shut your mouth. Doctor, but I just assumed that it had nothing to do with psychic abilities. Doctor, Doctor. Shut your mouth. Doctor, Doctor. We welcome Hazel to I Bet I Can Guess Your Mum's Name. What a lovely name. What a lovely name.

Hello, Hazel. Hello. We've got hazel eyes, Fletch and I. Me too. Behind these hazel eyes. Delta wrote that song actually about us. Yeah. Now, we're going to ask you three questions about your mum, Vaughn will, and then have five questions about your mum.

Five questions. What did you say? Three. No, no, no, that's What's Your Jobby. We get three. Yeah, we get three. So five questions, and then Vaughn will have 15 seconds to guess your mum's name. If he can do that, $100 is yours.

Okay, first question. I'm going to work backwards. Okay. I'm going to go for my fifth question down to my first. I mean... It doesn't matter, but yeah, you do it, babe. Your process. How old is your mum? She turned 65 this year.

Wow. Nice. She'll be a beneficiary. Get that benefit. Just got her gold card. Yeah. Oh, gorgeous. I saw it. Get that benefit. Just got her gold card. Yeah. Oh, gorgeous. I saw it.

Get that benefit. The lady on the bus the other day had a gold card, and their fares are like a dollar. I was like, I want one of these. It's timely, and it is your job as her child to remind her that she's on the benefit now. I might get my mum to apply for a gold card, the AT card, so I can use the bus for a dollar.

No, when you boop it, they'll look at you and I can use the bus for a dollar. And they get like three buses in a train. When you boop it, they'll look at you and be like, that's not a 60. That guy the other day got on and went, and the bus driver didn't even care. He doesn't care. Get on the back. And I'll just hide it and they won't know it's a gold card. And just bend over a bit. Yeah, hunch.

So this is my mum's era. My mum's 64, 65 next year. Okay, so put a patsy down. Chuck Patsy, patsy first on the list. Chuck a patsy? Yeah, 64, 65 next year. Okay, so put a Patsy down. Chuck Patsy. Patsy first on the list. Chuck a Patsy? Yeah, Chuck a Patsy. What else are you feeling? Who else is in that? Like a Pauline?

A Pauline, yeah. A Paula. Donna? Are you going to put your mum's name down? Are you going to put Chris? We always put a Karen. We always put a Karen. Yeah, that's a rule.

It's probably Karen. Am I going to go Christine? I could just try it now. I've got enough names. Helen? Helen from that era? Fiona? Karen. We always put a Karen. Yeah, that's a rule. It's probably Karen. Am I going Christine? I could just try it now. I could get enough notes. Helen. Helen from that era. Fiona.

Yeah, Fiona. Oh, Fiona. Spot on. Feels a lot like a Fiona, doesn't it? It does. You've nailed that. It does as much as it feels not quite a Carol, but I'll put it down though. You never know. We're in the ballpark.

Caroline, same thing. Yeah. Caroline. Pamela. Is that your question? Yeah, good never know. We're in the ballpark. Caroline, same thing. Caroline. Pamela. Is that your question? Yeah, good. Okay, next question. Hazel, would all the boys say that your mum is mighty fine?

What kind of car does mum drive? A Toyota Run X, I think it is. Corolla. A what? A Toyota what? A Toyota Corolla, like the Run X. Oh. I don't know. Is it sporty? Is it sportier than a normal Corolla? Not at? A Toyota what? A Toyota Corolla, like the Run X. Oh. I don't know. Is it sporty?

Is it sportier than a normal Corolla? No, not at all. Not at all. Toyota Corolla Run X. Did you say that right? Little hatchback Corolla. Oh, a little hatchback. Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go. Just looking up an image. Oh, yeah. It's not sporty at all. No. Yeah, classic. Okay, but it's a classic mum car, you know?

It's a Toyota's car. Is it silver? Uh, no. Hers is like a purply blue. A purply blue. Sorry, I got your bonus question there. I got your bonus there. Purply, purply. Oh, she's giving us sort of almost a Margaret or sort of a... Purply Pat.

Oh, I've got Patsy. But is your mum's Patsy short for Patricia? No. I'm going to put a Patsy short for Patsy. Patsy short for Patsy. Irene? Put an Irene down. Irene.

A Marie? Dawn? Yeah, it's got a Dawn. It's got a Dawn vibe. Just the purpliness. You got a Barbara? No, that's well off. You've lost your goddamn mind there.

You reckon? Okay. If it's Barbara, I'll give you $100. Thank you, Vaughn. You're not going to put it on the list. But if it is Barbara, you're's Barbara, I'll give you $100. Thank you, Vaughn. You're not going to put it on the list. But if it is Barbara, you're all witness.

I'll give him $100. Yeah. Can you afford that at the moment? I'm so sure it's not. Can you afford that? No, I can't. But you're so sure.

If it's not Barbara, you owe me $100. I don't know if you caught that part of the bargain. No, that's not how it works, Vaughn. That's not how this game works. You can't be lured into a terrible bet.

Janet? Oh, yeah, good. Okay, next question. He's doing some mental tapping. I was just looking at my names. I feel like you need a few more classics in there. Yeah. There's a strong P connection here.

Yeah. Patsy and Pauline were first. I've had Pamela and Patricia since. Have you got a Julie? But that doesn't start with P. I said I found a connection to the P. No, I think you're off. I think Julie.

Put down a Julie. I'll put down a Julie, but only to shut you up. If mum was going to cook a roast, what would she cook? Chicken. Chicken. Yeah, classic.

Classic. That's my mum too. Put Patsy down twice. In case it's not her the first time. But it could be her the next time. It could be her the second time. Liz? I've got a Donna.

Liz does a chick. Liz does a chick. Liz is chick. And we know a 65-year-old Liz, don't we? Someone's texting, it's giving Tricia. She'll be angry you've said that, she just turned 50. From a listener, it's giving Trisha. Oh, giving Trisha vibes.

Because I said Patricia. Yeah. So you just think Trish. Okay. Might just chuck a Trish there. Listeners getting in, I don't want too many listeners suggestions. What about Brenda? Too many chefs? Spoil the broth. What about Brenda? Yeah, Brenda. That could be, that could work. Brenda. Okay. What about Brenda? Yeah, Brenda. That could be. That could work.

Brenda. Okay. Does mum read? Like, what does mum read? Does she read Mills and Boone? Is she? No, she's more non-fiction. So, that's true stories.

Oh, she's looking at history. Oh, she loves her history. Oh, put down Hitler. You think this caller's mother's name might be Hitler? I'll give you $5 million. And I'll sign it right here and now. $5 million and my house. She loves history.

You've thrown me with this. Oh, I've thrown you, have I? Heather. Someone's texting Heather and it feels right. They've texted Jane as well, but that's bullshit. We've got Jane. Trudy? No, I didn't have a Sharon.

Our listeners have lost their minds here. Sharon. Trudy. Do you have a Sharon? No, I don't have a Sharon. It never gave me a Sharon. And not an inkling. Well, don't put it in.

Not an inkling. I'll give you $100 more if it's Sharon. I'm going to start a side bet. I'm giving you $100 if it's Sharon or Barbara. Oh, this is negative. And I'm giving $5 million if it's Hitler. Okay, and I'll just put 5M Hitler. That's a contract.

Okay, last question. What are mum's siblings' names? She's got three sisters. She's got Yvette, Robin and Joanne. Oh, far out. Yvette, Robin and Joanne, all that kind of same vintage. And Susan. Yvette, Robin, Joanne and Suze.

Yvette, Robin, Joanne and Hitler. I'm about to be one very in-debt woman. Joseph Stalin. Yep. Could be a Joanne. We've got a Joanne. Oh, what about Pol Pot? Put Pol Pot down too.

Pol Pot. Yeah, okay. Who's Pol Pot? No, I don't know. Pol Pot sticks with my peas. You said Pol Pot and then the grandkids kind of popped up in the background being like,

we're talking about Nanny Pol Pot, Nanny Pol Pot. She always takes her glasses off us. Yes. That's a deep Cambodian history cut.

I apologise to anybody personally affected by what was one of the most horrific resets of time. If you guys don't know what Pol Pot did, give yourself

10 minutes of brief reading. Horrific. Horrific and horrendous. But he took their glasses away from them. Okay, one more. Have you got one more or is that it? I don't know. I'm so muddled.

Just, hey, hey, hey. I've got to calm down. Have a hum. Earth, are your shoes on? No. Take your bloody boots off. He's wearing big work boots, and this is why it's all gone screw up.

You've got to earth yourself. You've got to earth into the raised floor that is above the earth. Okay. Throw my socks. Bit of a hum? Can I please get a hum, Hazel? Can you Hazel hum me? Put your buzzer on the same note at the same time.

Gorgeous. Okay, are you ready, Vaughn? No. You have three more names. And they all need to start with P. No, they don't. Patricia. I've got Patricia.

I've got Patsy. I've got Pauline. I've got Phyllis. It's a fake P. Phyllis. It's not Phyllis. I'll give you five grand. It's a fake P.

Pip. Pip. Pip. Yeah. What's Pip short for? Philippa. Philippa. Penny.

Penny. Okay, there you go. All right. You now have. What's Penny short for? Philippa? Philippa. Philippa. Penny? Penny. Okay, there you go. All right, you now have... What's Penny short for? Penelope. Vaughn, you have 15 seconds to try and guess Mum's name. Hazel, if you hear your Mum's name, yell out, Stop, that's my Mum's name. Vaughn, your time starts now.

Patsy, Pauline, Donna, Christine, Karen, Fiona, Carol, Pamela, Patricia, Irene, Marie, Dawn, Leslie, Janet, Julie, Liz, Joanne, Trish, Brenda, Pip, Philippa, Penelope, Heather, Jane. Which one? Penelope. You are such a jammy prick. I've got you to thank for that, Hayley. I've got you to thank for that, Hayley. I've got you to thank for that. I'm feeling the shoes off.

You led us there with a little bit of, you know, what do they call these people? Like tumultuous figures. Despots. Despots. 12 point. It wasn't Hitler. You owe me $200 because it wasn't Sharon and it wasn't Barbara

and you owe Hayley $5 billion because I wasn't Leila. I'll give you half of it. 2.5 each. Teamwork. The bonus round. While you're on the phone, I'll have a go at guessing your dad's name. Okay, you have triggered the bonus round.

It's going to be a historical name. Oh, you reckon? It's going to be one of those names that has been around forever because her mum loves history. Okay, so what's mum's... Penelope and... It's going to be one of those names that has been around forever because her mum loves history. Okay, so what's mum's... Penelope and... It's going to be like a Henry, like a Henry VIII or a Charles

or a Louis, like the king. Oh, excuse me. I just did a little burp into the mic. I reckon it's more of a Kevin. I would have got away with that if you hadn't pointed it out. I reckon it's more of a Kevin. Nah. Or a Steve.

Penny and Kev. Nah, it's Henry or... You feel it, mate. You got your feet on the ground? I put my boots back on. What are you doing? Get them off! It was too much psychic energy coming up through me.

I was going to start talking to people's dead relatives if I didn't get some insulation between me and the ground. One guess, Vaughan. You had one guess. Penny and hen. Hen and pen. Henny penny. Aw, that'd be cute. I reckon it's a Kev, Steve and Penny. Penny and Hen. Hen and Pen. Henny Penny. Aw.

That'd be cute. I reckon it's a Kev, Steve and John. It's not a beetle. What were the Russian ones called? What do you mean? So and the Terrible and... Ivan. Ivan the Terrible.

It's not Ivan. Oh, thingy the Great. Eastern European. Who's the Great? Henry the Great. No, it was Henry the Eighth. No, who is it? He's in the show. The Great. Catherine. That's Henry the Great. No, it was Henry the Eighth. No, who is it? He's in the show.

The Great. Catherine, that's Catherine the Great. Oh, no, Nicholas Holt. That's Nicholas. Nicholas. Nicholas. Okay, well, Vaughan, you've got one guess. Nick and Penny. Is it Nick? What was the guy's name on Big Bang Theory?

The lead guy with the glasses that was with Penny on the show. I don't know. Hang on. Big Bang. Leonard. Leonard, yeah. No.

She wouldn't offer that up. Okay, Vaughan, we need one guess. What is Dad's name? Charles. Charlie. Chuck. Charles. Vaughan.

Henry. Henry. You're going to lock in Henry? Yeah, Henry. Hazel, what is your Dad's name? It's William. But you're so right. Charles and Henry. Henry. You're going to lock in Henry? Yeah, Henry. Hazel, what is your dad's name? It's William. But you were so right. Charles and Henry.

God damn it. Yeah, you were close. Yeah, I got three of them. That's Harry. Prince Harry's name is Henry, right? Yep. Yes. And my son is Henry.

Oh, your son's Henry. That's what was coming through. That was what I think. Oh, yeah, you were humming. I told you I took on too much when I took the boots off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd gone in the wrong generation. Well, Hazel, congratulations.

You've still won $100. Vaughan correctly guessed Mum's name. Well done. Thank you. Well done, Hazel. Pass on our regards to Penelope. Yes. And William.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley's. I'm calling it out. I'm putting a stop to this. Now, I accept, because Aaron's car is often up the driveway and I'll park him in when I get home, right? And I block in the driveway. So when he wants to duck in and out, unless he's going to Mitre 10 where he needs his truck,

he'll just take my car. Now, I understand that part of the privilege of being with a man that's six foot six is that when he borrows my car, he jams it back, right? Oh, the that's fine what's it back what i don't understand now here's a humble brag i have a remote you know one of those side it's not just like an under the seat lever that you jam it back i've got little remote things i hate them when you first get a car with one you're're like, isn't this posh? Hate them.

So slow. So slow and horrible. I'm always amazed by your car. It's a lot flasher than you think it is. It's because I treat it like shit, but there's lots of gizmos and gadgets. The Mazda 3. The Mazda 3.

The Mazda Acceler. Right. Pax Asada used to own it, and he added all this weird stuff. Got a dash cam. Yeah. Who needs it? What, are you in Russia?

I know. Anyway, so my qualm with Aaron using my car is not that he's moved it back, but he tilts it down, does like- Hey, boy races. He moves the whole thing. Like the seat that you sit on can like tilt forward and back and then this bit goes like down like that and doodle-doodle-do. Just push it back.

You're going to the effing dairy. He's so tall and he pushes it back. He's still staring at the roof. So he's got to sack it out a little bit. He's literally driving it no further than like 15 minutes max at a time. And I have to get it. And not only, all I had to do was forward at 4.30 in the morning. Fine, that's fine.

Whatever, that's fine. But I've got to like, and it's wrong every time. I don't even know what my seat preference is anymore. He's obscured it so much. Right. I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, maybe you could just park on the road and not park him in. I like to think though, this is karma. That's my driveway. I'm entitled to park inside the gate. Yeah. I'm entitled to park inside the gate. Yeah.

I'm entitled to park inside the gate. This is karma and revenge for last week when we were in Wellington and we got in an Uber and you said, man, it's nice and warm in here. And he misheard you as I need it to be 32 degrees. He turned, I haven't seen anyone crank air con to the maximum since I was a teenager. 32 was where it maxed out. Because when I said, could we maybe punch that down a couple of degrees there, champ?

He went down, down, and it went down to 32. Because we landed in Wellington. It was brisk, right? And then we got into the taxi and it was just a nice little, oh, yeah, that was nice. But then suddenly, yeah, I just said, oh, it's lovely and warm in here, cranked it. And then we all opened our phones being like, I'm going to die. It was so hot I felt sick. You said something, whereas I just will just put up with it and just be likeed it. And then we all opened our phones being like, I'm going to die. It was so hot I felt sick. You said something, whereas I just will just put up with it

and just be like, it's way too hot. It's way too hot. Should I say something? What was it on? 33. When he punched it down a couple of degrees, the first number that came up after it was on max was 32 degrees. That's too hot for a car.

Anyway. Well, what are you going to say to Aaron? Cook a meat in there? I'm just going you going to say to Aaron? Cook a meat in there? I'm just going to have to say to him, it's over. I'm leaving you. Yeah. You know? Right, yeah.

I think it's the only option. I can't have a reasonable conversation about this. On his end of things, because Shaddaa will do this in our car, in my car, you just see a seat, so you throw yourself into the seat, and you just always crack your knee on something, and you're like, why is the seat so far forward? Oh, because it's so far forward. Oh well, your love. You should leave her.

Let's leave. And she uses the car and doesn't feel well. And people will be like, why did it end? You just feel like, oh, just keep moving the car seat. Now I keep banging my knees. Really? You've got a whole life together. I know, but the car, it was real pain every morning. It took five seconds to fix. You'll miss your knees when they're gone.

Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Fact of the Day, we are looking at inventions named after the people that invented them. Okay. And today I want to talk about the Gatling gun. The Gatling gun? The Gatling gun.

Gatling. Oh, that's after Warren Gatling. Close. Richard. Richard Gatling. Richard Gatling. Okay. He invented the Gatling gun. If you don't know what a Gatling. Close. Richard. Richard Gatling. Richard Gatling. He invented the Gatling gun. If you don't know what a Gatling gun is, the first ever Gatling gun,

if you ever watch period pieces of the mid-18th century sort of American Civil War time, that set them up. They usually towed them around on like a wagon because they were so heavy, but they were the first. And you would hand crank this thing and it would just have the bullets loaded in

and it would turn it manually and as part of the turning that would turn the barrels, it would also punch, punch, punch, punch, punch. A bit like a Nerf gun. A bit like a Nerf gun. On a wagon. A giant Nerf, hand cranked, very, very deadly Nerf gun. I think Nerf prefer the term blaster.

Yeah, they don't like to say gun. He invented this. You know, there were guns at the time. Bang, reload. Bang, reload. He's like this. Oh, missed him. Bugger.

Hang on, hang on. Wait, wait, you bastard. And then this thing got wheeled in on a wagon. Want to know what else he invented? Okay. Which could have also had his name but didn't. A steam plow.

So that was considered the first like steam powered tractor. Oh yeah. The Gatling gun in 1861 was his big one. A marine steam ram in 1862.

So a boat would drive into another boat and then set off this ram that would just blow a hole on the side of the boat. Like punch a hole on the side of the boat. Jesus, you're not surviving

that are you? He kind of went very different ends. He did a lot of agricultural things. He invented a wheat drill, which would punch a hole in the ground and then drop a wheat seed in. Yep. So that kind of is the tie-in.

He must have thought, man, if I turned this sideways, made it massive and strapped it to a ship, I could just punch holes in the sides of other ships. And it was the same one. It was wound, so it would go pop, pop, pop, pop to plant it, which is kind of how the Gatling gun worked as well. Yep.

So after he did the steam ram, he made the first ever motor-driven plough, which is considered the first iteration of a tractor. Huh. Very angry man. Angry, but also hungry. A very hungry and angry man. Well, hangry, isn't he? Yeah, angry.

He was doing agriculture, he was doing war, and he did nothing in between. Yes. That was him. So today's, it's named after the guy that invented it, is the Gatling gun, the preceder to the modern machine gun, of course. And it was invented by Richard Gatling.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. He also looked like Kenny Rogers. stream. He does. That is what we are. Play. ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Welcome to the Anonymous Phoner. Now, we did debate if this would be the Impossible Phoner. Impossible Anonymous or perhaps not. It won't be impossible. Yeah, and I don't think, it also depends on

how you define criminal. Now, there was a woman, this is such a fascinating watch, and she was sharing on the talk, the tics, that she was listening to a true crime podcast. And as white women, we love to do. And she said she was listening and they were talking about a serial killer from like this day and age, not historic.

And described this person where he was from. And she was like, my ex was from that state. Then described how that serial killer moved from that state to Ohio. She was like, that's when we split because he moved from where I lived to Ohio. Crazy. Right. Then started describing the fact that he was six foot six.

That's a pretty tall person. She was like, oh, my God, my ex-boyfriend is six foot six. Then they start describing this man physically, exact description of her ex-boyfriend then they say his first name only and that's the name of her ex-boyfriend that would be wild how unusual oh my

oh my so what she looks up this guy and she's like it's him the penny drops that the reason she got into true crime is because her ex-boyfriend was really into and fascinated by serial killers and how their brains work what because he was one he was a serial killer what was his crime apparently it's not outright said and in the comments it's like

i'm unable i can't say like i'm unable to say now i don't know if that means you'd be able to like google it right and go, is that him? Especially someone that tall and there's a few clues there. Yeah, there's some clues. But had he killed anyone before they were together? Or did this start after? I don't know. I don't know.

Because she won't confirm the full identity of the person, but the comments, of which there are like thousands, are all being like, it's got gotta be this one, he moved from this time to this place. She's a white girl, talked about true crime podcasts, and now all the other white girls that like true crime podcasts are trying to solve the crime themselves like they do when they listen

to a true crime podcast. Because I've already figured it out. And it's crazy it took the police so long. Anyway, this is our potentially anonymous phone, or if you want it to be. When did you date a criminal? Have you dated a criminal? Like, this girl dated a criminal before he was a criminal? Well, I think that's what it sounds like.

Yeah, I mean, she's alive, so... She's alive. She was not murdered. And now a serial killer, isn't that like more than three or something like that? Murdering more than three people? I don't know when they become. When does a murderer become a serial killer?

Serial killer become a serial killer. Three. Three or more. I know this because I am. Three or more than three. The killings have to take place over a significant period of time between them. So you couldn't do... Because they're a mass murderer if they do it all at once.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a spree. Serial killer is a bit more... Yeah, or if you did it over the weekend, that would be a spree. But it's a spree. Yeah. Like a shopping spree. There's a mass all at once.

Like a shopping spree or a serial shopper. Yep. Or a mass shopper. Do they do all their shopping at once? Do they kind of like get on a bit of a roll? Or do they spread it out and do it? Yeah. So it's like a calculated thing.

Anyway, that is what I want to pitch forth for our anonymous phoner is when did you date a criminal? Maybe you were drawn to the bad boy. Maybe you were drawn to the bad boy or maybe like this chick, you actually just had no idea and then their criminal past was revealed.

Sometimes, yeah, people write to prisoners, right? And then get into relationships with them. Yeah. Yeah, you don't have to have met them. The anonymous phone and topic. Have you dated a criminal? Now, we're proceeding with caution because... We're getting some juicy stories.

I know, wild. And this started because a girl on TikTok is claiming that she dated, before he was, a serial killer. A serial killer because she was listening to a True Crime podcast about this serial killer and then was like, as the information dropped, she was like, that's my ex, that's my ex, that's my ex. Oh my god, that's definitely my ex. We asked you,

have you dated a criminal? Eee! I'm scared! Anonymous, this was your auntie. She dated a famous New Zealand criminal. Eee, I'm scared! Anonymous, this was your auntie. She dated a famous New Zealand criminal. Yeah, she did. So she had a relationship with him before the crimes occurred and then she got back with him or they might have been on a break or something during the time and then she got back with him, or they might have been on a break or something during the time,

and then she got back with him, and I remember when it all came to light. And, yeah, it was very hush-hush in our family. Oh, my God. So she was with him when it all came out that he had done this terrible thing? Yep, yep. So it was to the point that he was um, what do you call it? Like, I went I actually had stuff to do with him

even after we had been told that he had been arrested on suspicion and charged and stuff. You're doing a really good job dancing around the facts by the way because we know who this is. This is a famous New Zealand murderer. Yeah. So did your auntie leave this murderer?

Yes. She went on and, yeah, it's still, it's a very taboo sort of subject. Do you, do you and does the auntie think he did it? Well, when you think that I was primary school age when it occurred. Right. And that sort of thing. And we don't really have a conversation about it. Yeah.

But it's quite fascinating because, I mean, like all criminals, they sit there and say they didn't do it. Yeah. And they will appeal and appeal and appeal. But, yeah, I mean, he's in prison, so. Yeah. And they will appeal and appeal and appeal. But, yeah. I mean, he's in prison, so. Yeah. Oh, my.

Okay, anonymous. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. Wow. Okay, that is, yeah, I'm just in text messages. This is quite full on, actually. I was expecting maybe we might be hearing from people with, like, light fraud. Yeah, some DUIs.

Oh, my boyfriend got a DUI. That was pretty. Yeah. I mean, people do their time, and they do the time for the crime. They're absolutely entitled to. We're hearing from varying degrees of crime. We've got your light burglaries, and we've just heard from someone, you know, auntie dated a famous murderer.

I'm just picking through the horrific stories here. I was living in London and I met two chefs. One was keen on me so we dated. Whilst in the throes of passion,

he mentioned he hadn't had a relationship since being in prison. Oh. Suffice to say the passion left me. He wouldn't tell me why he was in prison

so the passion packed its bags in. And his friend was also shocked and not knowing this, all I could think of was, what was he in prison for? Yeah. And he never told me. And why wouldn't you say?

And also, where's his banana bean? That's her words, not mine. Where's his banana bean? Wow. Well, someone's texted. We should keep this anonymous. I married one. She got pulled over texting while driving.

Oh, my God. You got your worth one of the bad ones. Try to straighten her out, but, you know, remember, lepers don't change their spots. I hope they didn't bring kids into her life like that. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, the drama. My ex didn't have a job, but he always had money.

I was like, that's weird. Won't ask too many questions, but then found a grow room in his house. Oh, okay. And yes, he taught me. Won't ask too many questions. But then found a grow room in his house. Oh, okay. And yes, he taught me how to grow it correctly as well. Water the tomatoes. Yeah. Keep your texts coming in.

9696 0800 Diles at M. Have you dated a criminal? Now, the anonymous phone-in topic, which I didn't know. Another prime example of when you live in a bubble and then you hear stories from outside the bubble, you're like, that shit goes on out there? I feel like we were thinking, oh, tell us about those bad boys. Oh, no, he did a runner from the cops on a bike.

He was defending the honour of his mother and punched someone wrong and they fell and hurt themselves and he did a small stint. There are some wild, insane stories coming through that I don't even think we can read out. I think we've decided quite a few of them we won't read out because it's just really, really intense. My cousin married a guy, had three gorgeous children, and last year they had armed offenders burst into their house

and he was arrested and imprisoned for a trial of abuse from the 1980s to just before they got together. Jeepers. It's. Okay, hang on. Really sifting through these horrendous crimes. My sister dated a criminal. He tried to blow up a house with a person in it.

But one of the helpers told the cops. They hunted him down, chased my sister. She tried to hide the explosive. In the end, she told them everything and he had a hit list out on our family. When I was 16 to 19, I dated a dropkick who would drive us to Auckland

which was an 8 hour drive once a month to buy $3,000 worth of MDMA to sell back to people where we lived. Palmerston North. Or Wellington. His mum just thought he was a good boy, good with money and not a drug dealer oh okay my mum dated

a well known New Zealand arsonist who was stolen by her best friend later found out they tried to burn he tried to burn his house down

with his wife inside but his kids got out where's the wife okay look I just never thought there was this much

really there's so much like it is insane the messages we crime. Really? There's so much. Like, it is insane the messages we've had in. New Zealand's so small, eh? My sister was dating a criminal. He did something horrendous. And then one of those helicopters were hunting him down and was chasing the sister.

And she was like, it's not me, it's him. Oh. Okay. Wow, this is really quite a lot. One of my friends dated the guy who bit the chicken's head off on Police 10-7. A guy bit a chicken's head off on Police 10-7? I do not remember that. My sister was sitting at home watching Police 10-7

when her then boyfriend popped up as someone wanted. It was completely unknown to her. Oh. God. Wouldn't you text him and be like, Hey, you were just on TV? Dis you, hon? Shivers, guys.

10 out of 10 podcasts. That one? Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Well, who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there.

Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.