ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 14th October 2024

Episode Date: October 13, 2024

Big news: Freaky Friday 2 has a release date Signs you're common Top 6 Perma thrush is coming SLP - What do you do for inflight entertainment? Hot girls sleep with soft toys Vaughan fact time - Waterblasting Shapewear you can customise yourself first hair removal Hayley is feeling 35 Double dating app Fact of the Day Impossible phoner topic: Were you left at the altar?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley Big Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Thank you Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show.

Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, we're all back together. Thank God. We're all back after your sickness. Well, let's not pretend like it's all over. It's a lingering. It was hellish. Hayley just took out of our communal tissue box three double ply tissues. That's six ply.

Six ply. I always go three. I've got a wet snozz. This is next level. This is the tail end of sickness. Right. There's a lot still coming out. Yeah. Apparently there is next level. This is the tail end of sickness. Right. There's a lot still coming out. Yeah, apparently there is some influenza.

Dr. Shawnee told me there's some influenza going around. So it definitely wasn't just a cold. I was achy and fevery. Right. But you had the flu. I got the shits. You got the flu jabbed away. Yeah.

Yeah, we got them at work. I know, it's all bullshit. But then we didn't get it and we were in close contact with you. We were literally hanging out with you in Queenstown for days. Oh my God, we were shoulder to shoulder and there was a moment where we all just went, do you think it's COVID?

And I said, yes. And we're like, well, we have been, I mean, Vaughan literally stuck his fingers in my mouth at one point, but that was sort of just a moment between friends. I was at a dinner table in public at a very nice restaurant. Well, I wanted her to taste the sauce.

And it was a delicious sauce. But as I was dropping Vaughn home in my little car, I was like, yeah, well, if it's COVID, Vaughn's got COVID. And it wasn't. I was so shocked.

Yeah. Anyway, nice to be back. Did the show suffer greatly without me? It suffered horrendously. Horrendously. It limped along. It limped along. At subsonic speeds. Happy to beously. A limped along. A limped along at subsonic speeds.

Happy to be returned. I like how sales were destroyed. We were just at the wings. You will be pleased to know KPIs were ticked off. Thank you, Kate. In your absence. Yeah. I was so worried about it.

I kept waking up being like, should I go in just to tick the KPIs? Tick the KPIs off, yeah. Oh, good. I'm proud of you for getting that. Yeah, you're welcome. Nice to be back together. It was hard work. Do you know what you're doing for the top six?

No, I'm not sold on any particular idea as yet. Still hunting for the perfect top six because I don't want to let these people down. You're perfection, aren't you? You really are. I really am. Well, fantastic. We'll let you deal with that.

Next on the show. Okay, this is exciting. This is exciting for women of my generation who loved Freaky Friday 1. We know there's a Freaky Friday 2 coming. Yep. We have the date. Play Zed-Ems, Fleshborn and Haley.

I am, do you know who I love right now? Jamie Lee Curtis. She's having a moment. Is she? Oh my God, yeah. Well, her and the beer. She won the Emmy twice. Oh, of course, yeah.

Oh, did she win it this year as well? I don't know if she won it this year. She's really good. She's so good in it. And then what was the one where she had the sausage fingers? Everything, everywhere, all at once. Yeah. And she won the Golden Globe for that?

Oscar? Oscar! She won Oscar. The Best Supporting Actress. And I just think she's having a moment and she's like really vocal about being not sucking in her guts anymore. You know, she was like, I'm not doing that.

I can't be bothered. I've sucked in my guts my whole life not doing it. And then we all got excited because Freaky Friday 2 was announced with her and Lindsay Lohan. Do you remember the original? Which I don't think I, I mean I know the premise. Yeah. Classic body swap, you don't know

what it's like being me. Yeah, mum and daughter at odds, rebellious daughter. Was it a remake? That was a remake. That was a remake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who did the original? I don't know who did the original. It was like years ago though, right? Yeah, probably like Bette Midler or something. I don't know, that's a stab in the dark. And then they released a teaser saying that they were making a sequel.

Right. Because when did the original Freaky Friday come out? 2003 was their one. Yeah. 1977 was the original original. And who was in that? Any names you recognize? Great question, Vaughn.

No, no one that I recognise. But it's an old trope, right? Oh, 100%. It's not. Yeah. Yeah. Jodie Foster was in the original one. Oh, my God, Jodie Foster.

Jodie Foster played the kid, right? Jodie Foster played the kid, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, lovely. No one we recognise. You don't know Jodie Foster. No, I... The lead roles, John Astin, Patsy Kelly and Dick Van Patten.

I love Patsy Kelly. I don't know any of those people. No, do I. It doesn't even say, oh, you're Jodie Foster. Okay, there you go. Well, the Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Lee Curtis one was like during a time in which Lindsay Lohan was doing a bunch of these movies. She did like Confessions of a Shopaholic.

She did this one. Herbie. She did Herbie Fully Loaded. That's right. She did some rubbish. She did some terrible movies. And then she did a lot of drugs. Yeah, I like the Lindsay Lohan where she was partying.

And where did she run a bar? Did she run a bar in Greece? No, in Mykonos. In Mykonos, yeah. And now if you go there, it's like a decrepit thing and it's the sign's still there and everything. Right. Anyway, so she did this and she did Just My Luck.

Confessions of a Drama Queen was hers. Oh my God. Mean Girls. Yeah, Mean Girls, but that was a good film. Yeah, yeah. But she did a string of crap films, but Freaky Friday was so good. Right.

And then everyone got excited because they were like, Lindsay's back with Jamie Lee Curtis, who's having a great moment. They have released on an Instagram post, Disney and Jamie Lee Curtis together. Not Lindsay. I don't know. She didn't collab.

She didn't click invite collaboration. August 8th, 2025. For Freaky Friday 2. This is a long tease, guys. But next year, August 8th, it's going to be there. And you'll actually watch this? Hell yes, I will.

Because it was, I don't know, I was just at the right age. 2003, I was 13. Yeah. So it was like the perfect age to watch Lindsay Lohan. Before all the drugs. Before it all went downhill. Really, she took a lot of drugs. But is she doing all right now?

I think she's doing all right. I mean, she won't be a better actress. She's terrible. She's just bad. Everything she did post-drugs, you know. Yeah. Not great. No, but Jamie Lee Curtis, I think, will really carry it on her shoulders.

Yeah. I'm sure the people making the movie are hoping she'll also carry it. Yeah, 100%. Play ZM's Flesh, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, you would have seen this gentleman on Instagram. His name's William Hanson. William Hanson. You know, he also has a podcast. He's an etiquette specialist.

You'll know him. He radiates gay. I've seen him on Instagram. For reals. And he's got a podcast with like a common man. Yes. And they do. Classic yin and yang

sort of match up. Yeah, and he's always like, never have a chardonnay. You never, or he talks about how cheersing and dinging your glasses together is so common.

Oh, really? So you wouldn't do that with like, if you met rich people and like, and they invited you out in their super yacht. He's like, why are you whacking your glasses together? You simply raise people and like, and they invited you out on their super yacht. Why are you whacking your glasses together?

You simply raise it in a toast and da da da. He's so funny. He's very self-aware. Right. Of his ponciness. Yep. And he's got a great sense of humour. But he genuinely is an etiquette expert.

Right. Who's worked with royalty in the past with, you know, the do's and the don'ts of society. Like, who's his clientele? Like, if you all of a sudden find yourself about to marry into a really rich family and you're just a paceship bogan? Well, you hear about, you know, people like Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle. I was going to say Miriam Margoyle, but she is not married in.

She's not a royal family member no but they you know they're sort of more common people that have married into that and they get completely taught

how to sit so someone like him would teach you yeah I know because I'm like when would you ever because you're not going to get my

Taranaki Bogan roots out of me no absolutely not there's no I'll ding a glass don't tell me I can't ding a glass you've had a few Bergen

roots in Taranaki, have you? He's had a couple. A couple of roots. Not usually his type, but, you know, needs must sometimes in the Naki. Biggest choosers. Quite rude. Anyway, so he created a list of 16 signs that you are more common than you think.

And some of these I was like, oh, they're not very relatable to us. He's British. Like tie clips is on it. You know, like a tie. What is it? Like a bar that goes across a tie to keep the tie down? Yeah, to stop it flapping around. Very common, darling. Oh, too common.

Very common, darling. What, so you shouldn't use one? You shouldn't use them at all. Oh, dear. Well, if you're getting ready for work this morning, you've got a tie clip. How very common. Why not? I thought they were bougie. I thought they were the same. Oh dear. Well, if you're getting ready for work this morning, you've got a tie clip. How very common. Why? Why not? I thought they were bougie. I thought they were the same.

I thought the little gold clip and then you get your matching cuff links. I thought that was the go. Yeah, no. He is supposed to use more of a nappy pin than a tie clip. So it's not seen. Yeah, I don't know. Oh, okay. It's not.

Honestly, with jewellery like that, it's a bit garish. You would clip behind the tie. Yeah, I can't see it. I can't see it. Yeah, right. As not. Honestly, with jewellery like that, it's a bit garish. You would clip behind the time. Yeah, I can't see it. I can't see. As opposed to this big hefty sort of bar. For a nappy pin, a big old pin. A big pin, I know. A big safety pin.

Anyway, so that's one of them. Liquid soap, very common. What? Are you kidding me? He was like, it stinks of middle class. I've been back on a bar. No. Because I'm trying to get through.

I've got this nasty habit of getting things like toiletries and just dumping them in the bottom drawer of our bathroom. Yes. And it just gets full and never gets good. Yeah, what's that drawer for? I'm on a big use everything in the drawer. Are you using bars you've stolen from a hotel? No. Because I had to use a bar of soap at a hotel

at the weekend. It was very dry. Very dry. No, you don't get those. These are like, this one's got like exfoliating stuff in it. Oh, posh. And it's got like, it smells really nice and it's got some sort of oil in it because when you finish, you don't feel dry. Well, it's got a spa pole and an electric gate and a bar soap. And a bar soap.

He's not common. I know, but it's always a pubertum. The electric gate is broken. The spa is once again broken. That didn't stay working for very long. We're never coming around. I know. We were never going to. Eating on the street. Very common.

I love eating on the street. Same. I was eating whenever. Street food. Food trucks. Yeah. He was just like it's the food of the common man eating on the streets. This is why it's great to be common. Holding a knife like a pen, but I thought we were supposed to with the finger on top. Apparently common. He said you hold a knife like a knife, but I don't know.

He doesn't go into detail in this article. How you're supposed to. Mounted televisions, because if it's mounted, it's because it's so big. How very garish. What? Having a large wall mounted. Oh, so he thinks it should be sitting on a cabinet. Yes.

A small, elegant television. Oh, no. No, no, no. Go to the cinema. I know. I'm like, God, I've got a huge the cinema. I know I'm like God I've got a huge television even now I'm like I could have gone bigger.

Yes. Applying makeup in public. He's like you should have done that. Very down market. Any grooming in public in fact is no good. It's a private thing. So you should go to the bathroom. Go to the bathroom. Excuse yourself. Drinking gin and tonics and he says I know it's devastating.

It's a delightful way to drop. Very common. I mean, the gin and tonic is a common drink. Vodka, soda, gin and tonic. You know, whiskey dry. Prosecco in lieu of champagne. Ouch. That hurts.

Does that hurt you especially? It hurts me greatly. But you know you're drinking Prosecco. But sometimes I prefer it. I prefer it. It's lighter. And sweeter. Yeah, it's not as full on.

Yeah. Okay, eating on public transport. I mean, that goes without saying. Very unhygienic, he said. Personalised number plates. If you got one of those, you are common as muck. Searching property values. I do it weekly.

He was like, how embarrassing. The only value you have in your home is its monetary value. Hot tubs, very common. Really? He said it's a petri dish of filth, whilst microscopic chunks of your epidermis flow past.

I love him. That's like the filters here. Get a filter for that. I need to listen to this guy's podcast. He sounds very funny. Oh my God, he's so funny. Oh my God. Yeah, the stuff I've seen of them on Instagram is pretty funny.

Number 13 on his list of 16 telltale signs you're more common than you think. Enjoying the Great British Bake Off. He was like, it's just so common. Is he just trying to, like, with this, just offend as many people as possible so more people are talking about him? Maybe. Because everyone loves that show.

Totally. Okay, his last ones are trainers, in particular wearing Adidas trainers. Yeah. Especially with, like, a suit. Buying portraits. Buying portraits. Oh, yeah, like if you've got, like,

pictures of yourself in your house. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he said, on yourself in your house. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he said, number 16 on this list, to avoid, he says, in quotes, to avoid in all possible instances salted caramel. How very common. Oh, my God, I love salted caramel. He's so good, eh? Play.

ZM. Fletch, Vaughn, and Hayley. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is the top six. Somebody posted on Reddit, Reddit user TheBrokenLanyard. Yep. Lanyard.

Lanyard. Said, the bloke at New World Deli Counter gave me the exact amount of meat I asked for on the first go. And then he puts up a picture of the bag where he's got farmland beef pastrami, which costs $40 a kilogram. And the guy's giving him exactly 100 grams. Delish. That's good stuff. What's your mark where you say, nah, take a bit out or add a bit more?

Oh, I don't really. Is that right? I'm like, yeah, that's okay. I don't do deli meats. Don't you? Oh, must be nice. Well, you carve your own ham, do you? You do bachelor's ham bag.

I'll do a bachelor's ham bag. That's a deli meat. No, it's not. It's adjacent to the deli. No, it's not. It's got a sticker on it. You know how much the price is. It's not shaved.

Not messing around with, oh, take a pinch out. Put a pinch more in. But sometimes they take the piss. If you say you want 200 grams of shaved ham and they put it on, it's 280 and they look at you, I'm like, come on. We're nearly at three. Yeah. Don't look at me. I'll take 300 grams of ham.

You self-monitor here. Yeah. Force your ham on me. I'd just rather buy the packed, already packed pastrami or salami. Yeah, I know what you mean. It lasts longer too. Yeah. Because it's so processed.

That's so much salt. Yum. So I thought the top six other things at the supermarket that make you go... Like when you're pumping your own fuel and it ends exactly in zero zero. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good stuff. I'll take that out. That's good.

I didn't realise this show was going to be so horny. It's pretty horny. You get ready. You're about to hit the six horny things that happen at the supermarket. Number six on the list, shoving the trolley in from a mile away. Oh, and it kills.

And it looks like it's not going to, but then it does that curl. It does that light curl like a bowling ball in a bowling alley and goes

straight into the trolley behind it. I had to put a trolley back in the trolley bay yesterday and it was really long in the car park and I just heft it all the way to the end. It felt so good. Did it go in? Yeah, I love it when a trolley back in the trolley bay yesterday and it was really long in the car park and I just hefted it all the way to the end. It felt so good.

Did it go in? Yeah, I love it when they're loose in the rack and you shove it in. Yeah, there was no other trolley at the end. Oh, I just slotted right in. So I was the first one. Just rammed it in. Rammed it in.

Beg your pardon. That's good stuff. Just ram it in. Beg your pardon. Sometimes. Which one have you said when they're all loosely put in? It was a half trolley. Oh, okay.

So is that going to mess up the full trolley? No, because if there's two things, if there's two lanes... No, there's only one. Oh. Oh, well.

It doesn't matter. That's not your problem. That's not my problem. But you were there loosely done it and you just ran it and it straightens everything up.

That's pretty good stuff as well. You would have been a great trolley boy. I would have been. I also would have taken people's trolley on the way. Yeah, it would be hot.

Because, you know, people are like, you'll often be like, oh, and they're like, I'm sorry, I'm all loaded up. Yeah. They don't take your trolley. I'd stop. I'd add another trolley to the thing. I'd probably crash into cars too. Number five on the list of the top six things at the supermarket. They make you go, uh-huh.

When you get the last of something that's on special. Yeah. Yeah, nice. Yeah. And sometimes it's like it's not there and you go, when you get the last of something that's on special. Yeah. Yeah, nice. And sometimes it's like it's not there and you look down. I actually got the last avocado. It's right at the back.

Yeah. I got the last avocado and I wasn't going to chuck. No. It was, I cut it open expecting it to be rubbish and it was actually really good.

Oh my gosh. It's a good feeling. I just assume at the end of the day there's a whole lot of avocados that I just chunk that they just put somewhere. People have put a finger through. Yeah. Ch's a good feeling. I just assume at the end of the day there's a whole lot of avocados that are just junk that they just put somewhere. People have put a finger through. Yeah.

Junk-cados. Yeah. And when it's like five avocados for $5 and you're like, well, half of these are going to be mush. Yeah.

It's just a slop. Not even good for a guac. Number four on the list of the top six things at the supermarket that make you go, popping in for a few things and only getting a few things.

Unheard of. Yeah. It's wildly unheard of. Yeah. It's the great unachievable. While I'm here, I actually might grab some more on that.

Yeah. Number three on the list of the top six things at the supermarket that make you go, when you nail your timing on the self-serve machine and don't get any

unexpected items in the baggage area notifications. It never goes smoothly, eh? Yeah. Because if you get that you get to the end and then it's like tap to pay, F-post,

please put your thing in front of the boop before it's even finished it. Boop, boop, boop. That feels good. Yeah. That all rolls through, makes it smooth.

Number two on the list of the top six things at the supermarket that make you go, eeeeh. When the bananas are perfectly yellow and there's a fat bunch of seven. Oh. Four on the back, three on the list of the top six things at the supermarket and they make you go, eeeeh. When the bananas are perfectly yellow and there's a fat bunch of seven.

Oh. Four on the back, three on the front. That's my favourite bunch of bananas. No, I need a kiss of green. I need a kiss of green.

I need a hint. I need a hint. You'll like my banana today. Look at this horrendous piece of shit. Oh, I can't. It's going to be the most No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It is mush. Yeah, perfect. It's in your well house. There's a no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It is. Yeah, perfect. It's in your well house. There's a bit of bruising. There's a bit of. Yeah, the green. Green tinge.

But it's two grain. Yeah, that's two. Even I wouldn't buy that. Yeah. Do you know what? That's what happens when you online shop. May I approach the sidebar? Just a quick little sidebar.

You may. You may. When I was unwell, Aaron was nursing me. On the teeth. On the breast. That's not his best. Aaron was nursing me on the teat. On the breast. He was making me some toast. And he said, what do you want on the toast? And I said, peanut butter and banana.

Right? Normal. Yeah. Never heard of it. No, banana, honey and cinnamon. No. Peanut butter and banana. It's very normal, isn't it?

It's just like very, it's a common thing. He was like, banana on the peanut butter. Did he put the banana down first and then try to peanut butter the banana like very, it's a common thing. I'd have it, but it's not my thing. He was like banana on the peanut butter. Did he put the banana down first and then try to peanut butter the banana? No, no, he's not quite that. I feel like that's something he would do. You 100%. But he was like,

how do you have the banana on it? I was like, slice it, you idiot. I just couldn't believe it. You've got to mash it with a fork. You've got to mash it with a fork. No, Anna, but you're a dad. Dads mash. Dads do mash.

We don't mash. Anyway. Number one on the list of the top six things at the supermarket that make you go... When you pull out a loaf of bread and the one behind it goes... Slides down. Yes.

Makes the slide sound. And then does a light poof as it gets to the bottom. The poof. That's like when you get a drink at the servo and you take it out and the other one goes... Oh, my God. Oh, because it pushes it down. Yeah. It's on an angle a little bit yeah

it slides because of the old slideroo that's good stuff that bread and it looks really soft yeah pillows yeah sexy stuff

oh my god this is a hot way to start the show yeah it's hot on to today's top six play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley

play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley Do you know Everyone can get thrush Regardless of genitals But it is often Thought of Mostly

Yeah Something that Aggressively attacks The vagina And you've been Out and proud Out and proud You've had three

Summers straight Oh look As a girl that Loves to go to the gym And wear gym leggings And then you go Through a hot summer, lots can happen. I've had, what is it, athlete's toe thrush. That's thrush for the toes, eh?

Foot thrush. I've had foot thrush. Battled it many. Please. Every winter, a thick pair of socks and boots. Please don't call it toe thrush. That's why you're meant to wear jandals at the pool. Because that's the problem.

You swim and if you use the showers at the gym and the pool a lot, you're asking for it. You're asking. Warm, moist environments like between the toes or between the thighs. That's just, there's warm, moist environments. You can get them on the willies for sure, but it's less because it's more external. For the...

Vagina. Do you use the spray? Nah. It's a crans remedy. You don't use crans remedy. You spray a bit of crans remedy in the gusset of the panties? Please don't say that, Vaughn. Please never say gusset of the panties again, please.

Okay? I'm only letting it slip because it's 6.42 and I'm feeling silly. Yep. No, yeah, there's a cream. Right, okay. You go in and get your cream and you've got to ask very confidently. Quietly. I feel like the people behind

the counter, they don't care, right? Anti-fungal. They always ask you oral or vaginal and you're like, read my tone. Read my tone. Open your go, read my tone. Open your mouth to them, show them there's no thrush. Not the mouth. If it was in the mouth, I would be coming in and being like,

I got the mouth thrush. Well, okay. I have not had it for years and long may it continue because there is a rise of something that they are calling perma-thrush, which is basically... Like permafrost. What calling perma-thrush, which is basically- Like perma-frost. What's perma-frost? Forever frost.

You go in the Arctic Circle. Oh, the Arctic. Okay, right. Get too close to that. Yeah. And the ground and the Yukon. Right. I've watched a bit of gold mining shows.

Right. Yeah, perma-frost. I knew you'd know. Well, then you can probably work out what perma-thrush is, which is just a treatment- A permanent layer on your Arctic Circle. The closer you get to the North Pole, the more permathrushes. Treatment-resistant thrush. Jesus.

And it is coming about because people. Have they tried exit mould? I don't know. That gets rid of everything. That gets rid of everything. Okay, for the record, please, can we just say now, do not use exit mould on your privates. Now, sometimes when we speak in jest,

people do think that we're being serious. Yes, yes. In moderation. Use your exit mould in moderation. And not at all on your genitals. Yeah. So it's because people are often, maybe they have a few symptoms down there

and they'll be quick to take some antifungal canistin or whatever. I just had to Google what the most... Fluconazole, anything. Do you take... It's not... You can't take antibiotics because it's... It's not bacterial. It's fungal.

It's fungal. Right, okay. So you've got to take the right medication. So yogurt's not going to do anything? Yogurt! They used to say that. I shoved some yogurt up there. I've never tried that one.

What, just like a Yoplait? I don't think you'd do like a chunky berry. Like a chocolate? That's a dairy food. I said yogurt, sir. It's food. We'll just get a bottle. Use them, you Kelsey.

There's little evidence that applying plain yogurt directly to your vagina will help treat thrush. However, natural yogurt may help soothe the area. Right. Yes, if it's burning, then a nice cooling yogurt. It has to be a Greek yogurt. A Greek, okay. Sorry, I'm recovering from a sickness and I cannot handle these silly jokes. It's because people will get any symptom down there, a little, and they'll take it and they're becoming resistant to it.

It's a bit like how some STIs are becoming resistant to antibiotics because they're being used so much, aren't they? They're being used too much and it may result in people that have perma-thrush

and they will just have to instead take a daily medication to keep the bacteria, or not the bacterias, everything that's down there, keep it all balanced and at bay. Get on to your kombuchas now. Get on to your kombuchas now.

Get on to your kombuchas. Get your gut health in order. And don't put chocolate yogurt up your... ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Silly little poe, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little poe, silly little poe, silly, silly, that silly little boy. Silly little boy.

Silly little boy. Silly little boy. Silly little boy. Well, Hollywood actress Jessica Chastain, not happy. She was on a six-hour JetBlue flight. That's in America. And the in-flight entertainment wasn't working. For six hours.

Was she in business? Did they have business? Yeah, I'd say so because she tweeted or X'd saying, my flight was $1,500 US dollars and you gave me a $15 credit for the screen not working. They offered a $15 voucher. Just put some music on. You've always, and this is today's silly little poll. What do you do for in-flight entertainment?

Beware your own device or use the screens provided? Always have your own device with stuff because you can't trust that, A, that it's going to work, or B, that there's anything good on the in-flight entertainment. I found recently, I mean, I haven't done a lot of international flights, you know, over the last few years. But this year I did, and I thought it was great. It was a good mix.

And then I don't listen. I don't watch it on my own device. It's too small. I'll just listen to things. I don't have an iPad. Get yourself an iPad. I'm not going to buy an iPad. I think I want to get an iPad

for this exact reason. Yeah. I travel a lot. I suppose it would make sense. It's good stuff. Didn't you have an iPad? Oh, like 10 years ago. Yeah.

What do you do for Inflate Entertainment? BYO device is 34%. Use the screens provided 66%. So still, you know, the majority of people use their screens in flight. Yeah. Zach said, Kindle or phone? In-flight stuff is usually garbage. And who really wants to watch Friends for the 30th time?

I hate on a plane and they're like, here's a series and it's like, oh, it's season two and it's four episodes. I know. What are you doing? Like, I want to watch a show. I know. Start from the start.

The weirdest little pickeying. Yeah. How's the first season? Not the last half of the first season. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The first half of anything. Well, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The first half, if anything. Well, why don't airlines just pay for Netflix? Yeah, but the Wi-Fi.

It won't work. Plane Wi-Fi is so bad. Yeah, well, a lot of planes signing up to Elon Musk's X. Yeah, well, hurry up. To Starlink, which gives you amazing internet. Yeah, thank God. Can't even send a message. The biggest international carriers sometimes pay upwards of $90,000

for a license to show one movie over the period of a couple of months. And these airlines now feature up to 100 movies at a time when 20 years ago they'd only carry 10 or 12. Yeah, yeah. Well, because you remember back in the day there was like those big screens and you'd all watch the same movie? Yeah. And you had no choice.

Insane. Yeah. Some more feedback on it. Artara says, depends on the flight, domestic, my own, international, their screen. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. BT says, because I don't want to hear all the pilots talking about what's happening on the flight. Yes, that's another because they pause it. Yeah.

And if I have 10 minutes left of my movie and it's been interrupted by them telling me to prepare the cabin for landing or that we're running early and then they cut off

the in-flight entertainment and the movie's at only one volume and the speaker makes my ear bleed with that volume. Sometimes I think they're preparing

the cabin for landing so early. I know, we're too prepared. Stop being so prepared. We can do it just before we touch down. You want a little less

preparation in your movies. Yes. Get a sore neck if you're looking at your own device for too long. No, you tuck it in the thing. Boy, I brought that thing off AliExpress for like $2 and it clips into the seat and holds you fine. Yeah, holds it up there. I do load up my own with content,

but that's for when I'm waiting at the airport more than on the plane. Oh, yeah. Becca says, I like to watch movies on the flight and I usually find something I haven't seen yet. If I use my phone or laptop, I just watch the same stuff I always watch. Mason, own device games can be played and draft emails

that can be sent when I land. Oh, he's a businessman on the plane. He's doing some business. Samantha, I like to use both. I usually have a TV show or a movie playing on the screen and then playing a game on my phone at the same time. some business. Hot. Doing some business. Samantha, I like to use both. Usually have a TV show or a movie playing on the screen and then playing a game on my phone at the same time.

She's double screening on the plane. Sounds like ADHD. Madness. Robbie, I download... Yeah, self-diagnosed ADHD. Of course.

I download a whole bunch from my streaming apps to watch on the plane. Sometimes there is skipping. There is skipping on the ones provided on the plane. Skipping?

I'm bisexual. Dice. Oh, how would you say it? Vice. Vaisal. Vaisal. Oh, okay. She's taken out the die.

I would have said bye to Vaisal as well. Bye, Vaisal. Bye, Vaisal. Bye, Vaisal. Okay. I have my own choices locked and loaded, but sometimes scroll through for some surprises on the inflight entertainment to see what they've got.

Yeah, maybe there's a movie you've always wanted to see. Yeah. And Brad asks a question, whatever happened to cinema releases being available on the planes? It's all older stuff now. There have been some new releases. It really depends what airline you're on. Like, you know, like the airline you were on,

like Singapore, like Emirates, Qatar, the bigger airlines have like way more movies. Yeah, yeah. And quite good modern stuff. Try that. Play ZM's Flashborn and Hayley. Now apparently hot girls sleep with teddy bears. Now you know me, I've had my teddy bear since I was three years old.

Yeah, yeah. Kuali. Kuali. I've got them tattooed on my upper thigh. So that if anyone wants to visit that area, they know. My priorities. I've got a cat. I've got him tattooed on my upper thigh so that if anyone wants to visit that area, they know my priorities. I've got a cat. I've got my cat.

I've got my family quote, and I've got a teddy bear. They know that you'll at least be number four on there. And I've got a J for Jess, so you're actually number five. You're five on the list of priorities there. If you are lucky to be visiting my upper thighs, you get to see your rankings.

But apparently the people are sharing online and even Margot Robbie jumped on board with this because she sleeps with her teddy bear. And she is undeniably a hot woman. And it started a debate online that hot women sleep with their teddy bears. And it's true. I know lots of friends of mine

that still have some form of a manky bear that sits there, priority. Doll? Or is it always a manky bear that sits there. Priority. Doll? Or is it always a bear? No, it's got to be a soft. Okay, it's always a something soft. Not a hard doll. Right.

What are you sleeping with, a Barbie? That's what I wondered. One of those big old creepy dolls that move at the shoulders. It's got a porcelain head. The rest of it's like stuffed? No. Okay. Everyone's coming out online and showing off their soft toys.

And they're terrible. Do you know I've actually been trying to find someone that would clean my teddy bear? But you don't want to risk it. Because I don't want to risk it. Yeah, right. But he is. What about a delicate wash? If you are even suggesting putting him into a washing machine. You are sorely mistaken.

Could you dry clean him? No. Because what's dry cleaning? They spray, right? Is it a chemical? I don't know. I got a suit back from the dry cleaner and it still had a smudge on the collar. I'm quite upset.

It was a $58 dry clean. Dry cleaning got real expensive. It got expensive. When did that get expensive? I think they weren't allowed to just tip their things down the storm grate anymore. That is the cause of the chemical. Is that why it got expensive? I think so.

Because I only ever get my suit done, my one suit that I wear four times a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And each time you get it dry cleaned. For a wedding and event and I get it dry cleaned. I know. I feel like it used to be $25, $30 and now it's like $60. I had a sleeping bag cleaned.

Oh yeah. When I went a sleeping bag cleaned. Oh, yeah? When I went to Anchor Island. Yeah. Just in case it had been intense or whatever. Soiled. Soiled. But you take a sleeping bag into a dry cleaners, and you're like, just a sleeping bag.

And they look at you like, what horrendously happened to the sleeping bag? He's had a wet dream, hasn't he? He has had a wet dream. And then he's left it there for 17 years, and now he needs a sleeping bag. It'll be longer than that. No, I wouldn't trust taking a teddy bear there though.

Yeah. Girlies, do you sleep with a teddy bear or a soft toy still to this day? Yeah, I still have my little frog that I have a little... A little frog? Yeah. Is it a Kermie? Is it a rip-off? No, it's not Kermit.

Is it a budget Kermit? Oh my gosh. What is that book where the frog has spots, coloured spots on its back? No, that's a toad, isn't it? No. Coloured spots, a frog. Winning the Willows.

Mr. Toad. Really going to destroy me. Mr. Toad. Anyways, and I actually have two of them because when I was a kid, my mum used to swap them out and not tell me. Oh my gosh. That is the key.

That is the key if you've got kids. You buy one and they get attached to it. You buy lots of them. Right. So when they're like in their like 20s and 30s and 40s, they've still got. Yeah, but their soul's not the same. Sits on my bed. Because lots of people Shannon, do you sleep with a teddy bear? Spotty

frog, little lift and look. I'm gonna have to Google it. You Google. Literally yesterday my parents were like, alright when you moved out, you left 90% of your stuff here. We've got to go through it. Yesterday, I donated a bunch of my toys, but I still kept like three or four of them. Yeah, it is hard to say goodbye.

I love them so much. Because Lady Gaga shared like all of her little toys that she sleeps with. Molly May, who's like a, you know, British. What do you do? What would you do, though, if you had like Froggy or your toy and you met a guy and you're going to bring them back to your house, would you hide

the toy? No. Aaron must learn to respect Kweli. And he has over the years. Exactly. It's like a litmus test of if they're a douchebag. Yeah, it is. It 100% is. If they're like, ooh, yuck, and throw it across the room, I'm like, I'll throw you across the room. And not in a sexy way. Not in a fun way. Not in a fun way.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Do you know what season we've entered? Spring. It's one of my favourite seasons. Water blasting season. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I've only ever water blasted a house once and it was really fun. It's one of my favourite things to do. Yeah. I notice a lot of things

that need water blasting and I'm thinking I do too. Whenever anybody, friend of the show, Ryan Teeth. Oh, yes. Manny McLean's husband, real estate agent. Every time he puts up the obvious on his real estate page, I say, the obvious thing here is that water blasting, that deck needs a water blast and a re-stain.

Yeah. That's the obvious thing here. If I was going to sell my house, I'd definitely waterblast the deck. You'd be amazed at the amount of people that have got a pool area with a non-waterblast deck. Do you know what needs a waterblast? Because I did a little bit of driving at the weekend, the main sign into T-Rail.

Oh. The whole thing is covered in moss. You've got, for Christ's sake, someone get a wet and forget on it. You get a, I don't know. You just spray it and walk away. If I was in charge of social media for a wet and forget on it. Yeah, get a, I don't know. You just spray it and walk away. If I was in charge of social media for a wet and forget or something, I'd 100% be like, oh, we're driving through here.

We simply couldn't have it. And just put it up. Yeah. Don't ask. Just do it. It was that sign, you know, the big ones that say where the road goes and the main roads up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That one needs a hard water blast.

Yeah, it needs a water blast. Why is it so light? I don't know. I think it's just in a spot where it just doesn't get a lot of sun. You've got to be careful that you can't water blast everything. No, I know that. Because our house is really dirty. Like it's because we live near the pine forest.

So it gets all that pollen and it's dirty. And I was like, well, you need a water blast. No, your house brush. And then Aaron was like, absolutely not. House brush. We're going to get a hose house brush. Get a, you know, the proper attachment. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For a water blast. You might want a water blast., the proper attachment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a water blaster. You might want a water blaster. I love water blasting. Your favourite time of the year. So I was water blasting some long story. Yeah. I reckon try to keep it tighter. Cut to the guts of it.

Just because it's radio. And I was water blasting some wood because it needs to be repainted. Yeah, yeah. And when I was finished, I spun around with the water blaster. Yeah. Being a bit silly because it makes me feel good. Yeah, I spun around with the water blaster. Yeah. Being a bit silly because it makes me feel good.

Yeah. I spun around with the water blaster and just put a streak across our world. We've got two water tanks, two old concrete water tanks. Oh, yeah. And I put a streak across it. And it was at that stage where I was like, that's a dirty water tank. Now, I said I was only going to be five minutes water blasting something. So then I was another hour water blasting because I decided I was going to water blast

one of the two water tanks. Because the problem is, like, you can't have any streaks or anything left. You've got to be so thorough. Yeah. That's the good thing about concrete. Wood, unforgiving. If you go too close and you take too much off,

it can be damaging to the wood. You can actually gouge it. Yeah, totally. But concrete's a bit more fun to water blast because you can just really colour it in. I do love the time lapse of the driveway. Dirty, dirty, concrete driveway. Outside

tiles are also a beautiful thing to water blast. A bit easier than concrete sometimes. So I was water blasting and I felt my phone vibrate and it's the lads chat and it's popping off about something. So I just sent a video of me water blasting the tank. And my mate Johnny replied saying,

I could watch 40 minutes of that. So I video called the group. And they couldn't hear me because of the loud. Yeah. Because I run a petrol powered water blaster. No offence to our electric water blasting listeners. We're electric. Grow up.

Get some real power behind you. Sounds like that's really bad for the environment 3200 PSI catch a water blaster right and so I was water blasting and it was just a live call and I couldn't talk because it was too loud yeah and so they were all kind of catching up and then there was a bit

where everybody just went quiet and watched me because Callum my old mate who was on it was like I think he's getting to the dirtiest part of the tank that's gotta be the south side facing part of the tank. Did you just set up a camera? No, I was just holding it. Oh, you were holding it? I was doing it one handed.

Oh yeah. So our water blaster's got a trigger you've got to pull. I cable tie it. I cable tie the trigger on. So you can just hold it willy nilly. Because then I can just. You've got weak fingers. Because I get a sore finger.

So that's why I get a sore hand. You've got to work your fingers more. You've got to exercise them. Grip strength. Just that. Yeah, you need to get those machines that you hold on. Get the grip strength up. No, I just cable tied it on, and then there was this dead silence

as I was water blasting the... Wow. The real dirty part. It's beautiful to watch. It is beautiful to watch. What a beautiful way to connect. Maybe you should go live next time on Instagram. I was thinking about that.

Next time you do a water blast. People would lap that up. Yeah, I'd lap it up actually. I'd watch a bit of that. Yeah, I might actually, because it was, and there's, I don't think those water tanks have ever been cleaned. And I found a number on it, I think it was 30,

no, 17 bar 3. Okay. So that tells me they were installed on the, or made on the 17th of March, but it doesn't say what year. Oh, old though, if they're concrete. Yeah, they're concrete. Yeah, they're plastic on the, or made on the 17th of March, but it doesn't say what year. Oh, old though, if they're concrete. Yeah, they're concrete. I was in plastic. See, this should be a sport on like,

you know, they have darts and stuff. Or like sheep shearing. Yeah. Water blasting. But water blasting. And you each get like a same square of mossy concrete or driveway. It would be very hard to get it,

get like a mossy moss. Or you find a driveway and you have a lane each. Yep, yep. You mark the driveway. And you've got to do it fastest, but also the best job. Yeah, yeah. And without the lines.

You know, without those lines. And would it be like Formula One? Like, it would be different brands of water blasters? Oh, maybe. Like, you could be Team Karcher. Team Karcher. Hayley could be Team Makita. Do they do one?

I don't know if they do one. I've seen a DeWalt one. Yeah, I think I've used a DeWalt. Mine's a Karcher with a Honda engine. Oh, okay. So I'm a bit of a Red Bull. Yeah. I'm Team Red Bull.

I'm going to make my own car. You're Red Bull water racing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm plug in. I'm plug in. I feel a bit embarrassed. I'm plug in.

Yeah. I don't know. Ouch. Somebody make that happen. I'd watch that for hours. You know what? There probably is. Water Blasting Championships. Yeah, Water Blasting Championships. I feel like Middle America would do this. Oh, yeah.

And they'll all have branded t-shirts or overalls. Oh, yeah. Sponsors. The works. Blaster. I don't think there is. Something that Karcher or some kind of brand should do Or Mitre 10 should do it Do the waterbasket championships Love it, great idea

Are you finding anything Vaughan? No You could start this The West Auckland waterbasket Vaughan's good for ideas But little follow through Too lazy Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley is a little follow through. A little follow through. Too lazy. Yeah, really lazy from you.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. You really hit the O in please. Yeah. Please. Please. Please. It's Sabrina Carpenter.

Please. Please. Please. I'm just channeling my Kath and Kim. Oh, I liked it a lot. Now, shapewear. Shapewear is something that all women know. I've been getting a lot of targeted advertising for the skims.

Is that Kim Kardashian? She's doing the men's. Yeah. Doing the men's skims. Say what you will about her. Weirdly, I get more advertising for the female skims. It's crazy. It's crazy that you're looking will about her. Weirdly, I get more advertising for the female skims. It's crazy. It's crazy that you're looking at different content.

Weird. But the algorithm's like, want to see a bulge? Yeah, it's crazy the algorithm thinks you're female. Or just really interested in the form of a woman. Well, you know me, there's no better form. Yeah. There's nothing worse than bad shapewear, though.

And shapewear's expensive. You have no idea. What is shapewear? Shapewear's just big undies, eh? No, but there's all sorts. There's body suits. There's shapewear for the torso. There's shorts. There's big undies.

There's snap crotch. There's thongs. There's all sorts. Snap crotch. I've got snap crotch ones, and I was on stage once, and I moved too vigorously and it went... I was just raw dogging it. The snaps go...

The domes go under the... Yeah, in the coochie. I know, I know. It's not great. Sorry, that just came out. It's not great. It's not comfortable. But that's where if you're wearing a full, you know,

like top to bottom, you need the snap crotch because otherwise you've got to peel it all off to go for a wee or hook it to the side and that's just a mess Hook it to the side Not to say that I haven't hooked to the side before but it's not ideal So much potential for sprayage

Oh so much, anyway There is a company called NYX, K-N-I-X American I believe and they do shapewear. Very similar vibe to Skims, to Kim's brand, and she does such good shapewear. Say what you will about Kim Kardashian. Skims rules.

Like, it does great stuff. But NYX has a similar kind of a vibe. But they've got this thing. What's it called? I just saw it. Shapewear. Perfect cut shapewear. And it's a one- thing that has like a singlet

a bra, across the tummy and then shorts. And it's designed to be it's got all these lines that you can cut and custom make it to whatever dress you may be wearing. So if you've got a long back, you can cut it out

the back. Right. And not just like willy nilly I suppose you could buy anything and cut it out. So if you've got a low back, you can cut it out the back. Right. And not just like willy-nilly, I suppose you could buy anything and cut it out, but it's actually got guides. You can go like, okay, low back or plunging neckline or like you've got to slit up one leg, so you've got to cut off one of the thighs. And I'm guessing even if you wanted to go in between, you just kind of cut halfway between the lines. Yeah, I suppose.

That's what I was trying to work out going like, oh, if you cut too low on something. But, you know, if you cut it for one dress, it wouldn't work for the lines. Yeah, I suppose. That's what I was trying to work out going like, oh, if you cut too low on something. But, you know, if you cut it for one dress, it wouldn't work for the other. But I suppose you just cut lower and then you can always wear it on a higher dress. Or I guess you could get a friend to kind of get a pen or a Sharpie and just like, you could,

do you have to hem it? Because it'll just fray after you cut it. No, the way that they've done it though is they've made these kind of guidelines so where you cut it wouldn't fray. Oh, so that's why you would have to cut where the lines are. Yeah. Because it's pressed more.

Yeah, so it's customisable shapewear. And everyone's like, this is genius, because you can't find the right thing all the time. You'll always get our dress that you're like, oh, God, it's got a high neck and a low back or a slit here and a blah, blah, blah. So if it's not perfect when you put it on, you make it perfect by cutting it.

And you just cut it. How expensive are these? Because I wouldn't trust myself. I don't have good enough scissors. I need mum's good sewing scissors. Now I'm on the website. Technically this is sewing. Do you think as a 45 year old man I'd be allowed to use mum's sewing scissors now?

Do you know what Aaron's been... What for? I cannot keep scissors where I want the scissors to be in our house. They all become renovation scissors. Mine are in the second drawer. Yeah, mine were in the second drawer for my kitchen scissors. They've become renovation scissors. The renovation scissors, God knows where they are.

I bought left-handed sewing scissors. Okay, and he's right-handed. Yeah, he's right-handed. I was like, left-handed for me, and I want to be making some cushions. I got my sewing machine back. I'm going to be doing this. They've ended up in the reno box.

I saw him outside the other day cutting bloody string for some thing. Oh, no. They've ended up there. He's using mum's sewing scissors. He's using mum's left-handed sewing scissors. Guys, I found some premium German crafted carbon steel yarn scissors. So this is just more

for the sewing, the knitting and stuff. Right. On Teemu for $1.51. Yeah, they're not going to be great. I don't think they're great. But on this website

they do say you've got to, you have to use fabric scissors. Like good scissors. But then just go to Spotlight and get some short-end expensive. You know,

Vic Tronox, I'm a big fan of their knives. Oh, we love Vic Tronox. The bright-handled knives. They've got a pair of Taylor's scissors, 26 centimetres, just go to Spotlight and get some vitronops you know vitronops oh yeah we love vitronops the bright handled knives yeah they've got a pair of Taylor's scissors 26 centimetre

Taylor's scissors for $75 oh okay that's quite expensive that's really pricey $14.28 for fabric scissors professional heavy duty scissors

for leather sewing on Timu leather sewing what are we making chaps mmm we are we're making a pair of leather chaps, are we?

We're making some chappy chaps. Well, some people, what is the name of these again? Nix.com. Nix, okay. Are they shipped to New Zealand? They ship to New Zealand. This is non-spawn. This is non-spawn.

It's non-spawn and I will say horrendously expensive. Okay, right. I just say let your lumpy bits loose. Yeah. Or could you just cut? Yeah, just get some cheap, get a Kmart and cut it. Yeah. Why not?

Give it a go. Give it a go. Next on the show, we're going to talk about body hair removal. Gone wrong. We've all done it. Chapel Roan. I'm getting peer pressured into going as Chapel Roan to the Halloween party, by the way. Oh, yeah, you'd be great.

That's great. Thank you. Yeah, I don't know if I would be. Play ZM's Fletch, Florn and Hayley. There is a woman called Leah Garcia, Leah Garcia, and she has caused a bit of kerfuffle online because she shared a video of her waxing

her three-year-old's monobrow. Oh, three. You know how young kids get that real fluffy forehead and stuff? And especially, like, she's Hispanic. She has the hairy jeans. Yeah. She's got some Frida Kahlo. Oh, yeah.

How do you say her last name? Kahlo. Frida Kahlo. Yeah, Frida Kahlo. She's got some Frida eyebrows going on. Yeah, she does, man. But she's three years old, and I think that's the debate that people were like,

one, waxing, painful, and then you start, like, it doesn't just get rid of it. Yeah. It'll come back, and you're just going to wax it from three years old? Just leave it. Wasn't that a thing, like, like mums were always like

Don't start Don't start Because once you start You can't stop Yeah That was my mum with shaving She was always like Please

As long as you can Hold off of shaving Because also laser Wasn't really a thing back When I was a kid I took my three year old For laser I don't know

But I'd rather not Well do you know what When I was young How old would I have been Anyway I want to talk about Your first ever hair removal stories, the good, the bad, the ugly, because this reminded me of when I was 11 years old,

I too sported somewhat of a mono brow, and I had really bushy eyebrows, which now suck it. You know, I'm like, yeah, get in line, biatches. You all want these little slugs. And I've had them from day one. My dad's got Scottish jeans. Are the thin brows making another run?

No, I think we're embracing so much of 90s culture, but not that. You're hoping for the thin because you got yours permanently tattooed on. Yeah, I did. And the Pamela Anderson lines. So I remember I was teased. Someone teased me about my bushy eyebrows. At private school there's teasing.

No, no, this was at public. This was at public. Of course. Into media. Of course. Yeah, before I moved to the private. Peasants love to tease. Yeah.

And I got teased for having bushy eyebrows because it was the 90s and thin brows were in. And I cried to my mum and I said Please can I get my eyebrows done And she's like fine And she took me to this small beauty clinic In Eastbourne where I lived And said to the woman

Look she's 11 years old We don't need anything dramatic She just wants them to be tidied up a little bit And so the woman she tweezed them And I came out with Pam Ann archers. Oh, no. Like the thinnest archers that I'll take, say, took like six, seven years to grow back properly.

So bad. And I had to go from school one day with these big bushy eyebrows to these thin, plucked little worms. Did you get teased for that? Yes, because it was so dramatic. It was terrible. Yeah, she didn't follow through with that brief, did she? Yeah, exactly.

And then I did all sorts of hair removal because, you know, I'm a hairy woman. This is before laser. And sometimes it's just horrendous and young people are just like... Is there an age limit on laser? Because that wasn't even an option when we were at school. It wasn't an option. this and young people are just like Is there an age limit on laser? Like because it wasn't even an option when we were at school

it wasn't an option. Nah, it started when I was at high school and there was a I've got my pubes in it. Yeah, I'm totally bald from high school on. And when you lost your virginity it was a weird conversation. Yeah, I just used the laser cutter in the middle work room and just turned it right down. Anyway, we always

remember. That's why I've got the Nike tick down there too. It was a big brand at the time. It was. That's why I've got the Playboy bunny. Same reason. We all remember the first time that we dabbled in hair removal. Oh, the veet? The veet. Everybody's burnt a layer of skin off with veet. Yeah, we want to know

and in your intimate areas. Whole lord air. We want to know, yeah, and in your intimate areas. Yeah. Whole lot of air. We want to know your first hair removal stories. Like, how badly did it go? Yeah. What did you try?

Maybe you were like doing it in secret, like you went to the supermarket to get some wax. Yeah. Or some hair removal stuff. I gave a parental advice. Oh my gosh.

Okay, they're already coming in. So many, okay, oh my God, there's so many coming in. this is great. 0 Oh, my God. There's so many coming in. Okay, this is great. 0800 dials that Amazon number.

Give us a call. You can text through 9696. So many people attempting Brazilians on their own for the first time. Oh, no, no, no. And then just having to bail with hard wax in there. Give us a call. Your first hair removal disaster. God, I'm loving it.

There's a text that starts, did my balls when I was 18. Did my balls. How? Like shaving or waxing? For a date night. Somebody messaged him. Oh, shoot. So they did my balls when I was 18, 19 for a date night,

left it on too long, ended up with chemical burns and blistering on my balls. That sounds like veex. And some on the shaft. I rang my mum in tears. She offered no help, just laughed at me and told me I was a stupid twat. Somebody said they wax their butthole shut.

If you leave the wax on, it hardens. Yeah. Georgie, this was a monobrow situation. Yeah, so I was about 10 years old and thought I had a monobrow. I probably definitely did it because ginger and the hair would have been quite blonde. Oh my God.

But I took to mum's razor and I ended up accidentally shaving one of them completely off. And then the other one, the other one had like a little bit of hair, no hair and a little bit of hit. Oh no. And looked at myself and thought mum's going to flip and kill me. Yeah. So naturally I put pl thought, mum's going to flip and kill me. Yeah. So naturally, I put plasters, one on each eyebrow. Of course. Well, that's way more subtle.

Skin colour. Yeah. Like trying to hide a hickey. Yeah. Do you think when you put the plaster on, you could then draw eyebrows on the plaster, perhaps? But then mum, then I come out and mum goes, what the hell have you done? And naturally, I go, oh, I fell on my face.

And she goes, and just fell on your eyebrows. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just hands didn't help at all. Hands didn't help. How long did it take for the eyebrow to grow back? Oh, well, once I took, because mum goes, oh, take them off slowly or you'll pull all the hair off. And so I took them off really fast though, thinking, oh, I've tricked her,

but she knew I'd shave them off. Yeah, it's so obvious. I had to go get them waxed for ages to get the shape back because they grew back kind of funny. Yeah, they do. They grow back all straight and sharp and outy. Oh, no. Georgie, thank you for sharing.

Josh, your first hair removal whoopsie. Yeah, so my first hair removal whoopsie I went into a little boutique cosmetology place to get laser hair removal. I have a pretty thick beard, so it's a pain in the ass to shave my neck hair.

And I thought it would be laser removed. Yeah. And how did it go? Oh, blisters! Yeah, they were like pussing. laser removed. Yeah. And how did it go? It was all over my neck. Oh, blisters! Yeah, they were like pussing. It was pretty nasty.

I had to take a full week off of work just to, uh, I couldn't move my neck left or right. It was just kind of stuck in place. Did they juice up the power too much or did you get some sun on it or? Yeah, I told them, they're like, how much pain can you endure?

And I told them I have a pretty high pain No. Oh, you've got to work out to it. No. And did you go back? It felt about the same as getting a tattoo, but it did not turn out well afterwards. Yeah. It would be sensitive on the neck though. Did you go back and get more

sessions or was that you retired from laser hair? I retired from it. I have like permanent scars now. Luckily the hair grew back in some places but it's like kind of white scarring on my neck now.

Oh my God, you poor thing. That sounds horrible. Oh, I mean, congrats on growing a nice thick beard though. Yeah. Keep your texts coming in.

There are so many. Nine, six, nine, six. We'll get to more of those next. 0800 dials it in. Good morning to our Indian listeners as well. We're hearing from a lot of you. Mum is under fire

for waxing her three-year-old's monobrow. And it's got us onto the first hair removal stories, your disasters. And there are so many messages coming in that we're thinking we might do a special

spillover. Podcast spillover. Yeah, especially because some of the stories are a bit X-rated as well. Surprisingly. Surprisingly. Yeah. Some text messages in. Good morning. I belong to an Indian family from Fiji. Grew up very strict. I got a hiding from my mum when my sister caught me

shaving. Oh, okay. Yeah. We don't know what. Legs? Yeah. Just once you start you've Yeah. Leg, we don't know what. Legs? Yeah. Just once you start, you've got to keep going, don't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the start of forever. But then you can't be too hairy

because then you get teased. I know. Like, there's no winning. There's no winning. But you would also think- Really, what we need to address is stop bullying people. Yeah.

For things that aren't under their control. Well, especially because if it was an all-girls school, you'd think all girls would be in the same situation, right? Yeah. And they'd know that it's a thing. It's just a thing.

But, yeah. But they also know if everyone's picking on another person, they're not picking on them. Yeah, that's true. It's a classic diversion situation. If someone's got to get picked on, I'd rather it was someone else, not me.

Your monobrow, not mine. Teenage. What did you just say? Yeah, that thing in the middle. Yeah. I gave it a pluck yesterday, actually. Oh, my God. Mine is so bad, I didn't realise because I've got quite dark lights in my bathroom. And then I was in Dunedin and I thing in the middle. I gave it a pluck yesterday, actually. Oh, my God. Mine is so bad, I didn't realise,

because I've got quite dark lights in my bathroom. And then I was in Dunedin and I looked in the mirror, I was like, hello. There's a few in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They always pop up so quick, too. You do a check one day and you're fresh. Nothing in there.

And then you have a look the next day and there's three. I'm going to get my brows done today. Three big bad ones in there. Thickies. I got teased for my bushy eyebrows amongst other things my first year of high school so I shaved what I was hoping

would be above and under the eyebrow. Ended up shaving off half of one of them. I had strict parents so was never allowed makeup. Yeah.

It's taken 16 years to grow back because the salon threaded the same threaded the same one half off because they were following what they thought

was the natural line of it because I'd mumbled it up earlier. You've got to get yourself a good brow gal. My partner will kill me if he hears this. I honestly think once you find your brow gal

or boy, brow boy, brow gal. I've never had my brows done by a boy. You've got to hold on to them, don't you? Like a hairdresser.

I only trust Indian women with a piece of string in their teeth. Thread. Yeah. The thread is. They know. They know, yeah. I told you once I was getting

some downstairs maintenance and she asked me if I was a bit Indian because of my hair patterns. I said no. Wow. You're just a hairy guy. What do hair pubes say about me? I think it was more the sort of African.

There's something else down there that's definitely not Africa. Oh, yeah, that was the something else there that's definitely not saying Africa. That's the giveaway, yeah. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Hayley. Now, y'all know, y'all know that I was not feeling great about turning 35. No. And it happened.

And it kicked off with a hiss and a roar by getting really, really sick on a mountain. And then spending the first four days. What a mountain to be sick on. Oh. Beautiful vistas. I loved it. The snow. Oh, my God, it was delicious.

A mild wine at Kadrona Hotel. It was a great day. Yeah. But then the following days were terrible because I was in bed. Gotcha. Anyway, so I was feeling a bit haggard about turning 35 and then kind of the start of it's been quite rough. But there's been a few instances

that really made me feel quite old. Okay. One of them was, I performed my show in Dunedin on Saturday. Thank you everyone who came along. Very great crowd. Interesting. I see you post a photo of the flat seats.

Yeah, yeah. It's an auditorium. Oh, right. There's no built-in seats. Okay. No raked seating. It was just, yeah. It's an auditorium. Oh, right. There's no built-in seats. Okay. No raked seating. It was just, yeah, chairs that they bring in. But you're elevated, so everyone got a good view.

Right. Yeah. Anyway, so I was walking home from that and walking back to my hotel, and I walked past a little group of young people. A little group of young people. A little group of young people that were enjoying a of young people. A little group of young people that were enjoying a beverage on a Saturday night just in the octagon.

In moderation. In Dunedin. No, it's Dunedin in the octagon. In moderation. I'd say in extreme non-moderation. I, however, had not had a single drink because I drink in moderation. Yeah.

And I walked past this group and then suddenly I hear the guy yell at me, hey lady from Taskmaster which has confirmed a number of things for me. One, that I am fulfilling the role of old lady on Taskmaster. We've talked about this before that Taskmaster kind of

follows a casting template. That's right. You've got brown person, crazy person, older man, older man, older woman, and young whippersnapper female. Yep. And we also talked about the fact that Abby Howes and I,

who was on my season, are the same age. In fact, she's slightly older than I am. But that she was fulfilling the role of young whippersnapper and I, therefore, am old lady. She just looks quite young, eh? Very young. And then, remember when Abby Howes, I said, how old do you think I am? And Abby said, I think you're our age. Yeah. That's another kick in the teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you're saying that I look like this 42 year old gentleman here. Anyway, so yeah, he yelled at me, lady. Lady from Taskmaster. And I was like, oh, and I turned around and I looked at this like 20 year old and I was like, I suppose I am. Suppose I am. You are a lady. You are a lady yeah the lady

did he call you ma'am no it wasn't ma'am but it was lady lady which is just one step away from ma'am it's ma'am adjacent it's ma'am adjacent

is miss below lady yes hey miss yeah and then babe chick all that that's down

those days are gone oos my oos I'll always accept yeah it's a privilege to be called an oos it's ageless

it's an ageless it's ageless term okay's an ageless term. Okay, so that happened and I was like, oh, I'm a lady, that's fine. I also went to the supermarket and I did a self-checkout bottle of red wine. I was making a bottle, I was making a bolognese from scratch.

Oh, wow. Applause for applause. I mean, that's an old lady thing to do. Yep. Full stop. And I did it in my Dutch oven. Yeah, my ceramic Dutch oven. And so I needed a bottle of red wine.

Got the red wine. Boop. On the self-checkout. You always got to wait for it. That was the perfect boop. I heard it too. Oh my God. That was the perfect go again.

Because it is. It's a boop, not a beep. I won't do it again. I always go boop. It's not boop. No, it's more of a boop, boop, boop. It's not as good as the first time I did it. Nah.

So I got the bottle of red wine and I went to this. Boop. No, it's gone. No, that was way too good as the first time I did it. Nah. So I got the red one and I went to this. No, that was way too low. I still think it's good. I'll try. I'll try. Not bad. You've got to go to lead in. You're telling the story and put it in the story.

That's what made it impressive. She went from speaking to the perfect boot, back speaking. So then I scanned the thing that I was buying. No, no, no. You're stopping now and you're right through it. I put it thing that I was buying. Boop. No, no, no. You're stopping now and you're right through it. I picked up my red wine and I put it through the South Surf checkout. Boop. Put it in the bag.

That was good. Not as good as my first one. Not as good as the first one. Now that first one. Far out. Man. Never do it again. I thought I was talking about feeling old.

Boop, boop. Now we're really talking about how excellent my boop was. Boop. Anyway, so I got my bottle of red wine. Boop. Nah, it's gone. And the guy came over to do the ID thing. And sometimes they'll just do a really nice subtle,

look at you, yep, she's over this, and they'll scan it. Or they'll compliment you by asking for your ID. This guy literally took a step back, got under my eye, like got under my face to have a real good gaze. Yeah. And then just swiped approved without asking for ID. And I was like, wow, you took a real gander at my mug and you went, she old, scan the thing.

So that was two strikes. The third one was, and I can't say any detail of this, obviously, because it's confidential, but I had an acting audition, first time in a long time. Wow. And I was like, holy shamoles. And so I read the script first and I learned all the lines for the audition and then I was like, oh, God, I need to learn a little bit more

about the character, read through the character, and it was like, this character is this, da-da-da-da-da, mother of teenage son, da-da-da-da-da. And I was like, that is outrageous. And I was like, nobody will buy this. I'm really going to have to age it up. And then I thought, no, technically I really could have a 15-year-old son. Yeah, you could.

And I got pregnant at 20 and no one would have been like, oh, my God. They would have been like, oh, young, but, you know, congrats. It wouldn't be an immediate like, oh, what are you going to do? It would be like, oh, well done. So you literally could be a mum. I could be a mother of a teenager at this point. And it would be absolutely believable. Yeah, so those are just three things that really slapped me

in my saggy 35-year-old face this week. I don't know. What do you say to women when they get like this? No, you can't say anything to me. Okay, what about a traffic light? Do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka. Do- light? Do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka. Do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka. No, that's not as good.

Do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka. Do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka. Do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka. Do-ka-do-ka-do-ka-do-ka. Next on the show, there's a new dating app, and they've gone for a point of difference. What about a microwave? No.

That sucks. That sucks. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. New dating app. And let me just describe to you this dating app. It's called Double with two Bs because you always get a spin on the spelling of a word. And you've always, if you've got a new dating app,

you've got to have a different like a spin. On Tinder. It's a Tinder spin. Everything is a Tinder spin. Yeah. A spinder. A spinder. That's nice.

Now, the Double app, the Bubble app, is on their website where it explains what it is. There's not a capital letter inside. Now, this is just. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's for Gen Zs. It is for Gen Zs. Because they say, consider our generation.

We spend three hours a day on social network, but only three hours a week with our close friends. And why, when it comes to dating, are we making it an isolated thing and completely turning off all of our social networks? So the Double app is basically trying to orchestrate double dates where you're on the app swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe yep you match with someone like that that's the sound it's not like it's like and it goes it's a match yeah so you. So you are there. You match with someone.

They match with you. You're now matched up. With your date, you bring a friend, they bring a friend. And that's how it works. So it's a double date. Oh, so it doesn't match another match couple from the app. So you're, I mean, you're hoping that you both have a single friend. Now, what if you bring your single friend

and the guy that you've matched with or the girl that you've matched with. You're like. Herein lies the problem. Yeah. You're like, I like this. They're hot. Like, I'm loving this so far. And then your friend swoops in.

Who's also there because they're single and looking for a date. They take your hot match. Yeah. And then your hot match brings us minga mate. And so then your hot friend sitting there being like, well, I don't want minga mate. I want the hot guy that you've already vetted for us. And then they get minga. Yeah.

Then you're stuck there with a minga. I've been stuck with the minga before on nights out. One man's minga is another man's zinger. Everyone is someone's zinger. Love that. Also, how do you know that the minga you were stuck with wasn't also of the opinion that he was stuck with a minga? Because he's a minga. He deserves a minga. He deserves a minga.

Minga sees minga though. Mingas don't want mingas. Yeah, but mingas get mingas. Mingas deserve zingers. Minga has lost all meaning to me now. Yeah. I know this is exactly the problem with this is that you would just turn up

and be like, well, we were all technically single. So even though we've matched, who's to say that you guys aren't a better fit? And then maybe that would happen. In your dating days, did you ever turn up to what you assumed was going to be a date

and they just had a friend that was coming anyway? No, never. But that would be so weird. That would be weird. Yeah. Hot. No, to be weird. You said hot first.

You did, he did. You live a very different life to us. He lives a very different life. He's like, oh my God, two for one. Yeah, hot no to be weird you said hot first It's not You've turned up We all are very different lives plays itM's Fletchborn and Hayley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's Everest week. Oh, lovely. The Ford Everest week. Oh, lovely. The Ford Everest.

The Ford Everest. Is this because... Which is a Ford Ranger and an SUV. If you were a mum who were like, man, I wish I could drive like an arsehole tradie, the Ford Everest. Is this because there is a Maori woman, right? There is one or two, yep. I've heard of a couple.

I believe you're one. There is a wahine Maori who is aiming to be the first wahine Maori to summit Everest. Oh, wow. Okay. Yes, her name is Holly Beckham. One of the most Maori names I've ever heard. Almost as Maori as Hayley Sproul. But she wants to be

the first Maori woman to reach the top of Everest. God, I've seen the lines to climb that thing. Horrible. Yeah, it looks like a slog. I was reading a bit about it because that I didn't know, but the reason is they found the foot of the guy, A.C. Irvine.

They know it's his foot because that was embroidered on his sock. And he was the guy that they thought may have summited Everest before Sered, but no proof was ever acquired. Are we going to have to say the first person to successfully summit and go up and down? But if they find, like they found his foot, if they find, because it's kind of been a bit of a mystery, if they find like his other foot, the rest of their stuff,

because they might have had like a real, the camera or the film might be. Yeah, there's no way that. But it's dry out there because it's always so cold. Oh yeah, imagine if they developed the film. That's why the bodies get preserved on Everest for so long is because it's so cold up there. It's like nothing can decompose. Well, until there's proof.

Sir Ed was the first. Sir Ed was the first. We'll claim it. So Irvine was, they found his foot, but that's not the fact. It's so grim how they're just straight up showing a foot. A rotten like 100-year-old boot and a manky old sock with a name that skints it in it.

But anyway, today's fact of the day about Everest is that the, how old do you think the youngest person to summer at Everest is? Two. And one of those little. And they didn't know. They had to do it themselves. They had to do it themselves.

Oh, okay. Eight. Maybe like 18. You think eight? Have you met eight-year-olds? Either. Are we naming it? They'll be like, my parents, and they'll be like, I don't want any of this.

I'm not going up there. They look boring. Are they a teenager, like 13 or something? Yeah. 12. Oh, wow. Yeah. 13 years old

is the youngest person to say please uh yes that makes sense you know it makes sense yeah there there's some amazing things about everest like the quickest time and like the average we'll cover these later in the week don't blow your load it's monday but like how long you should set aside good choice of words how long you should set aside. Good choice of words. How long you should set aside if you plan to summer at Everest. Oh yeah.

Because obviously we live at the sea level and this is nearly at the cruising height. The top of Everest is nearly at the cruising height of a jumbo jet. Wow.

That's how far above it is. Jeepers. And the oldest person, so the youngest person is 13 years old. The oldest person, what do you reckon? 87.

Pull back. 42. 69. Nice. Nice. Don't pull back that far. You've pulled back too far. You went 87 was very close.

71. 79. 80. 80. Wow-ses. 80. That's insane. Yeah.

And then you see some 80-year-olds and they can't even like- Oh, no. Walk around the supermarket. I actually apologise. I read the list backwards. And then you see some 80-year-olds and they can't even like walk around the street. I actually apologize. I read the list backwards. The youngest person to do it is an American. He was 13 years old, 10 months, 10 days when Jordan Romero summited Everest in 2010.

He was basically 14. But a 15-year-old. Yeah, yeah, very close. A 15-year-old summited it in 2003. That was their first, like, young record holder that was also female. Yeah, so that was the youngest. 80, that's impressive. I mean, the young thing's amazing, but, you know, you've got... God, and you get all puffed going up the mount.

I do. So puffy and sweaty. That guy for the seats along the way. Sweaty and puffy and puffy and sweaty Yes And then you know Break at the top Take your glam squad

Get all dolled up For your photo at the top of the mount Sit down for a bit Good bit Yeah And then you say something like What is it? Win the morning, win the day or something

Yeah something like that Carpe diem or something Inspirational shit like that And then struggle back down it Saying it's hard on the way down My knees, my knees Yeah So today's our fact of the day And the first for Everest week Is that the youngest person to summer it and then struggle back down it saying, it's hard on the way down my knees, my knees. Yeah.

So today's our fact of the day, and the first for Everest week is that the youngest person to summer at Everest was 13 years old and the oldest, 80. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. It's time for the impossible finding topic. A topic that we think will be impossible. Yeah.

And there won't be a lot of calls, if any. Now. Especially for this one, because I feel like this would be hard to admit if it happened to you. I know. I mean, we may be relying on other people's kind of secondhand stories, right? Like, knowing that they were at a wedding and this happened. Yeah. So, there's a woman called Rachel Siegel.

She goes by Funky Ribs on the talk. Do I say da talk to sound good? Yeah, that sounds... Yeah. It's amazing to me that a bird can be on TikTok. Siegel. Do you think I'd say Seagal? No, she's got your name.

Seagal. Rachel Seagal. Rachel Seagal. Now, she shared just our video of her in this incredible cape gown dress and revealing, she says, my name is Rachel Siegel and my fiance just left me at the altar. And then she walks away and her friends are like, ah! And then the next video is her on like clearly a vintage bus

that was hired for the day and they're having drinks. So she's got a Red Bull in her hand. Having a cry and a good sing and like having a good night. And apparently she went out that night and just had a great, you know, turned it around. Okay. But in the videos leading up to that one video, you literally see her fiance and her being like,

oh my God, tomorrow's the day. Oh my God, here's some of the dresses I didn't pick. Does she say in any of these why he left her at the altar? Beyonce and her being like, oh my god, tomorrow's the day. Oh my god, here's some of the dresses I didn't pick. Does she say in any of these why he left her at the altar? No, so she's posted a few videos since then being like, oh god, like, I'm not ready to talk about it yet. This was literally last week that this happened.

Right. And then the sort of aftermath has, you know, gone viral. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but I have documented it and really put it out there so you will ask. That's right. But I'm not ready to talk about it., but I have documented it and really put it out there so you will ask. That's right. But I'm not ready to talk about it. Like and subscribe.

Like and subscribe. Follow me for the big reveal. But it is like wild just to see these videos of like the whole, like there's a video of her in the dress and then you see the congregation behind. I'll say it looks like this is a wedding of like 200 guests. Oh my God. And he left her waiting there. She is

dressed and ready to go. Just like go through with it and then either don't sign it. This is what we just talked about off air. We're like, I would never do this to someone or if someone did this to me, I'd be like, just shut up. Everyone's here. Go through with it. When it comes to the

paper, don't sign it and then you can just get lost and we're just going to perform this day for everyone. Don't embarrass me. It's easy for an actor like you to do. She's out the front. Tradition says she would walk through and she wouldn't walk up until he was already there. Yeah, I don't know.

I think when left at the altar means on the day, she was there dressed, ready to go waiting and then was informed he's not coming. So he just didn't show up? Because the way you're describing she's already up there, it's almost like he was halfway through and he's like, actually. No, no, no, but all the guests are seated, dressed, on their sides, and then there's a bit of her just being told.

You do hear of, I don't know, cheating grooms or cheating brides being found, and, you know, it all kind of bubbles up on the day or before. Yeah. And that's why they get left or one of them leaves. Yeah, something like that. None of that's been revealed. But anyway, I mean, it's just horrendous. But I've never been to a wedding like this or heard.

And none of my friends have ever had this experience before. No. And that is our impossible photo. Yes. Were you left at the altar on the day? Or do you know of someone that was left at the altar on the day? Or do you know of someone that was ready to get married on the day and then it didn't happen?

Yeah. For whatever reason, someone got cold feet they pulled out. Look at this video of her, she's running towards the guests. Look at all those guests. Oh my god, that's embarrassing. And he is just not there. And they're all cheering her on and stuff, which is very nice. Okay, well By the way, this wedding, I'll say I'm gonna put like a minimum $60,000 price tag

on a wedding like this. Yeah, it's not cheap. Okay, well, maybe it is the impossible phone-in topic today, but we'd love to hear from you. If this has happened to you or you know of that happening to someone, 0800-DARLES-ZM is the number. You can text her as well, 9696.

Were you left on the wedding day? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. Oh, struggling today. It was hard. Actually though, the last minute couple of late arrivals on the text Masinio. This is a woman that's gone viral in America who was left on her wedding day. Yeah. And yeah,

like you said, like about 200 guests by the looks of the video. Yeah, huge production. It's at a golf course and she had the gown. But immediately turns it into content, which tells me that she might have had an inkling beforehand. No, because her posts before were all about, here's my boyfriend. I think your point is maybe she's insufferable.

She's a little insufferable. Maybe she's insufferable. Maybe he was like, I can't do a life with this. I own a wedding venue and had a groom not turn up on the day. I had to tell the bride she walked down the aisle in tears. Her bridesmaid then announced to everybody that he would not be coming. It was very, very awkward. That would be a moment where you would need some kind of like,

you'd need some counselling, eh? Yeah. Would you even recover from that? It would take a long time, eh? It would take a lot of healing. My husband's friend was left on the morning of their wedding. They had a kid together. She let him know she wouldn't be showing up.

She then disappeared for years, leaving him with full custody of the child. It's been 10 years and they're just starting to be amicable. Wow. Oh, my God. I don't know that I could do that. They just disappeared entirely. Like more for the fact that they walked out on their kid.

How do you explain that to the kid? That's a tough one. I'd probably say mum's gone to Antarctica. Yeah, she's an Antarctic explorer. She's exploring Antarctica. She's an incredible woman, your mother. Can we call her? No, because they don't have phones in Antarctica, little Timmy. I read an article. No, Tim they don't have phones in Antarctica. No, they've got Starlink.

I read an article. No, Timmy, she doesn't have it. They've got Starlink, isn't it? No, she's in a... She's in a different bunker. In a cave. Yeah, in a cave in Antarctica. In a mountain.

She's in a mountain. She's doing their... Important work. Hard work for the future. Yeah. But I would say if she's doing hard work, she'd need to be able to send her results back via some sort of satellite communication.

Timmy, mummy's gone for a while, don't you worry. She doesn't love me. No, she loves you very much. And now you're lying to me. No, we're not lying to you. I feel like this entire family is built on a foundation of lies. Not at all. Do you want some tiny teddies, Timmy?

Yes, I do. Yeah, there you go. Yum, yum. Yes, I do. I want to watch Mr. Beast on the iPad and play Minecraft. Timmy's so easy to... Yeah. Put some tiny watch Mr. Beast on the iPad and play Minecraft. Timmy's so easy to... Yeah. Just put some tiny titties over here on the iPad. I've built Mum's cave in Antarctica.

Except I've given her a phone so she can call me. Yeah. In Minecraft world. We told you she doesn't have a phone, Timmy. Yeah. A friend's son was the groom, ran out of the church as the bride was walking up the aisle. No. Everyone thought it was a joke.

Everyone was gobsmacked at his parents' worth for years. That's what I was thinking when I saw the wedding party. I was like, his family's all there. What are you saying? So embarrassing. So embarrassing. I'd give him a clip around the ears. My dad got left at the altar when he was 19.

Then my mum five years later, the rest is history. We'll take him out at 19. It's young. Don't do that. That's too young. It's young. Not impossible. Not rest is history. Wow. Well, don't get married at 19. That's young. Don't do that. That's too young. That's young. Not impossible. Not impossible in the end there.

Not impossible. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Hayley. At the weekend, I purchased some equipment to have bees. Oh, my God. Bees? Bees. I want bees. We want bees.

Yeah, Aaron told me he wanted bees. He went, you're getting bees. Ah! Yeah,es. I want bees. We want bees. Yeah, Aaron told me he wanted bees. He went, you're getting bees. Ah! Yeah, he's always wanted bees. Did you hear? It's just weird that I wasn't even part of the conversation that you hung out with Aaron on the weekend. I actually saw him thrice.

Three times. Thrice at the weekend. Oh, wow. Small times and I saw him. Yeah. Yeah, when I said bees, he was like. You guys gay for each other? No?

He's a big boy. Are you having a secret gay relationship? If I was going to go into gay, I don't think Aaron would be my first stop. Start smiling. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I think so. Work your way into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, I don't know. He'd be a bit much first time. Yeah, I think so. I think so. Would you go that mask?

Would you go for a big hairy mask boy? Yeah, because if I'm going to be sleeping with dudes, I'm sleeping with the manliest dudes. Right. Otherwise, you might as well just stick with women. Is that your thinking? Oh, no, that's not entirely it. But if I want the soft touch, I'll stay with women.

Okay. But if I start hooking up with dudes, you know they're going to be like gay lumberjacks. I love that you've given it some thought that if you were gay, this is what you would do.

You're going to go full mass. That had to be more at least as masculine as me. Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay. Masking me and up. Right.

You and up on the mask scale. How did we get from you buying bees because Aaron wants bees. Aaron wants bees. Okay. we get from you buying bees? Because Aaron wants bees. Aaron wants bees. Okay. So why are you, how do you, can anybody just get bees?

No, you've got to be registered. You've got to be registered. So a friend is registered and he owned the beehive. So technically that has hives because he's registered. Okay. He's using my property, but I purchased the boxes and stuff. Oh, right. For the bees to go in.

And then do you get all the honey? Yeah. Can we get some honey? Will we get some honey? We'll see. You're going to sell it, aren't you? Starting late this season. So this season might be a building season.

Next season, a couple more boxes. Got to keep an eye out for a queen, though. Got to find a queen bee. You're looking at one right now. Would you fit in the box? And how do we get the honey out of it? And you don't want children. But her job is to just

wander from bit to bit laying more eggs. And just having thousands of servants. Do you have the time for this? You've got to squeeze each of the bees to get the honey out. You've got to milk the bees. Yeah. I'm putting in a 50-a-side rotary bee shed. You've got to milk the bees. Yeah. I'm putting in a 50-a-side rotary bee shed. You've got to milk the bees.

There's thousands of them. Yeah, it's like a little version of the cow shed. Are you worried about getting stung? We've had that before. They weren't, but that was a very calm queen. Okay. Apparently it's all on the queen. Don't look at me then. I'm not a calm queen. You'd be all

jacked up, stinging left, right and centre. Sting, sting, sting. And it's good for your property, right? So the difference between the fruit on the fruit trees or the vegetable garden or just flowers, anything. In the last two summers

we haven't had bees, but the ones prior to that was unbelievable. Because if bees die, we all die. That's right. Yeah, we do. Correct. Yeah. We're actually all spiritually tied to one bee. Oh my god. Mine is Jerry Seinfeld's bee from the bee movie, so I cannot have one die. Mine's the one from

the Honeypuff's ad. Yeah. Mine's, um, I don't know any more bees. Oh, Bumble! Mine's Bumble's alright right, you're all right. Are you going to have a cute little outfit? A bee outfit? A bee man outfit? I'm going to buy a bee man outfit.

With the hat? The hat? With a smoker? Do you ever get a smoker? Let's get a smoker too. This is cool. This is fun. Yeah.

I want some honey. Are you going to have little like basic honey? Clover. No. A lot of manuka trees. Yeah. He's going to say he's manuka, A lot of Manuka trees. Yeah. He's going to say it's Manuka, but it doesn't do anything. Yeah, it's dabbled with bloody clover.

Oh, I love the clover. Weed. Weed honey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weed honey. Gorse honey. Yeah, dandelion. Yeah.

Gorse honey would actually be pretty good honey, though. What is? It's flower like nobody's business. Yeah. I'm excited for this. Yeah. God, you love extra effort and work, don't you? Like, what are you doing making work for yourself?

I don't have time to be milking bees. It's fun. This is fun. What's fun about it? You go out, you put your suit on, you huff and puff them with some smoke, you have a look, you find the queen, you're like, there she is, and all these are the good bits. It's not fun.

And then later on you get honey. That's a whole episode on Netflix. You could be watching TV. You're trying to find ways to avoid spending time with your family. Now, I think there's a deeper issue there. Well, they're all scared of bees. Yeah, exactly. Right, I'll set up a little seat beside the bees.

He just wants to be more and more isolated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bees and bears and... With your big gay boyfriend. Oh, I just realised I did the whole show with my headphones on backwards. So... Well, that means the show's backwards then, isn't it? We're going to have to play this in reverse.

Well, should we speak in reverse and hopefully they'll work out the other way? You're a deserter. You're a deserter. Give us a review. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley.