ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - 15th August 2023

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

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The ZM Podcast Network. The Fletch, Fawn and Hayley Big Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Good morning, welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. It's two minutes past six. How are we feeling today? Itchy. A bit itchy.

Yeah, covered in paint. She's itchy. Got a bit of product filled up in the hair. That'll be the chemicals seeping in. Are you using a lead-based paint? Yeah, lead. Good. Because I feel like lead seals in the asbestos better.

Yeah, it does. It holds it right where it should be. But then that main deal. Yeah, I do. I'm not using lead paint. Does Resane not do a lead paint? No, I think last year they might have pulled it. Pussies.

Yeah. Whoops. Get some in your mouth. I have. We've been painting. We painted up a storm yesterday, me and Aaron. I hate painting so much.

I know, same. I hate it. But I did love your time lapse. I don't know why, but I watched the whole thing and I was like, it's so mesmerising. I know.

I know. What is it with Reno time lapse videos? Well, today's going mesmerising. I know. I know. What is it with Renault time-lapse videos? Well, today's going to be even better. We're doing colour. Colour. Here comes the colour. Brilliant.

Wouldn't you like to know? It's fun stuff. It's not, but yeah. It's not doing it. No, I don't want to be actually painting. I just want to watch the videos. Coming up on the show, the top six. And what a historic day yesterday.

Ooh. What? Goodbye COVID restrictions. Yeah. Not that anybody... Oh, my God. When that logo turned up on my feed, I was like, no. It's back, baby.

No, I was just saying COVID restrictions are, like, gone. And while it would be nice if you stayed at home if you are sick. As he says coughing. As I cough. Yeah. Although I've been testing. It's not COVID. You don't have to anymore, I guess.

No. And rat tests are going to be free for the rest of the year. And then I was like, that means they're not going to be free next year. I just don't think they'll be around next year. Will they? Rat tests. Yeah. I mean, they have been free anyway.

Yeah, yeah, but what I'm saying, yeah, but I don't know, because people are like, who's still testing anyway? Who's still testing anyway? But I like quite like to know before I go and see my elderly grandmother if I've got COVID or if I've just got some allergies because it's pine season. You might already be all dead. That's just me personally. Yeah.

Yeah. You think you're all dead? Yeah. Same, but personally. Yeah. Yeah. You say yours are all dead. Yeah. Same, but yeah. Yeah. Not from COVID either. No, no. Long ago.

Pre-COVID. Yeah. Pre-COVID dead. Age or their own demise, right? Yeah. But what I'm saying is I don't want to be responsible. No. I can't live with that on my conscience.

Yeah. All right. Well, the top six dealing with the COVID restrictions going. Yeah, it is the top six COVID restrictions that I think should come back. Oh, right. You want more? Yeah, I'm a big fan. I was a big fan.

Next on the show, a photo has popped up on Reddit, and it's got people quite worried because it has to do with one of our favorite, most trusted brands. Oh, no. Something a lot of us buy. That'd be pretty sweet. I want to see how many people try to call. I want to see the phone logs.

The direct messages are very, very funny. Hey, can I have a couple? People are just like... Hey, not how it works. No, people are just messaging, trying their couple? People are just like... Hey, not how it works. No, people are just messaging, trying their luck. That's really cute. That is not how it works. We've got a block of tickets.

We've got so many to give away. There'll be another double pass today. God loves a trier. Fletch does not, apparently. It's just not how you do it, is it? It's not the rules. It's not the rules. Rules be rules.

And also, like, I've got so many friends that missed out on tickets. If I could get tickets, I'd give them to them first. Straight up. That's not the rules. Rules be rules. And also, like, I've got so many friends that missed out on tickets. If I could get tickets, I'd give them to them first. Straight up. That's how it works. But I can't. I'm not even doing that because I can't. Do you know what I'd be doing? I'd be going myself. How in the house would that be a little trip for all of us, Sydney?

We could have a nice, good food in Sydney. Well, be listening at 8, the next Taylor Swift song. A photo hit Reddit yesterday and got people a little worried. I'll show you guys the photo. It's a Whittaker's block of dark almond. I love dark almond. You'll notice it's slightly smaller and the packaging is different.

It looks skinnier. Well, it fits in a whole hand. That's easily fitting in a hand and that doesn't look like a massive hand. 200 grams. We've lost 50. Yeah, so the blocks they sell at the supermarket here in New Zealand, 250. Iconic. Now, this kind of went around, and people got a bit upset.

They're like, you better not be shrink-flating us, Whittakers. Don't you dare. You are the trusted brand. Like every other product is doing at the moment. But somebody in the comments after a while says that that's an export block that goes to places like Canada or, you know, Europe or wherever. Wouldn't they just give them a smaller, I don't know why, maybe they don't need as much chocolate.

Maybe it just comes under the shipping next tier, you know, if it's lighter. A little bit cheaper to ship or they don't need as much chocolate, but apparently that's what somebody has said. So... If these pop up, I'll flip this whole desk. Well, I couldn't see any 200-gram blocks on any New Zealand supermarket site. I've done a little digging.

Well, congratulations to Whittaker's for being part of the thriving New Zealand export business. Yeah, it is thriving. You know, taking one of our products, our high quality dairy, making it into delicious chocolate and exporting it around the world. I wonder how much...

We've got a couple of negative Nellies in the studio here. I'm not me. Why am I shitting on our exports? I'm not being negative. Why are you shitting on our exports? I didn't mean to shit on the experts. Do you want to have a go

at the quality and size of our pine log exports? Oh, don't even get me. I was literally about to shit on the experts. Do you want to have a go at the quality and size of our pine log exports? Oh, don't even get me. I was literally about to bring that up. The logs? The logs. The quality of our export logs. How do they get the logs?

I'm not going to get into it. It'll spoil my day. How do they get everything off the tree? You know, like when you see them at the ports. Yeah, dude. Have you not seen the machine? They have a machine that takes the bark off. Oh, my God.

Oh, wow. The digger attachment that picks it up and like feeds it through and strips all the stuff off the outside and just plunks it down there and another digger puts it in a pile. What do they do with the bark

they shave off? They just leave it there and then when a flood comes it all washes down the river and makes a mess of the east coast. I thought they put it into old people's gardens.

No, because it's all like this weird land that's super hard to access. Right. So they just kind of leave it there. Okay. Oh, because it's all like this weird land that's super hard to access. Right. So they just kind of leave it there. Okay. Oh, if it dries over summer, it would be an absolute nightmare if that was to go up. How did we get to chocolate from chocolate to the logging industry?

I don't know, but last night, because we're getting our floorboards put in, right? Our wooden floorboards. And the little offcuts, the guy putting them in is like, do you want to burn them in the fire? We were like, hell yeah, man. Because it's just raw timber. Oh my God, I've never felt a fire so hot. Hot, hot, hot hardwood.

Hot, hard. Oh really? Hot and hard. I slept nude, no sheet. You're a nude sleeper now, like me. No, no, no, just once.

I was just like. Just once. Only because you're sleeping in the lounge next to a fireplace. Yeah, my nightie was getting like sweaty. I was like,

get me out of here. It was close to being combustible. I'm just looking at our top 10 exports. Okay. Huge fan of the export industry. Your dairy, eggs, and honey, predictable. Yep. You know, that's up there.

Meat, up there. Wood, up there. Beverages, spirits, and vinegar. Vinegar? Do we do a lot of vinegar exports? Oh, there's no vinegar like New Zealand's vinegar. I've always said that. I've always said that.

I go for a Chinese vinegar or a... Are you talking flavoured chips over there? Are you talking honey? No, like a rice wine. Like a rice wine or like a Japanese... Well, now you're saying Japanese is Chinese? Don't say that too loud. Hey, don't you throw me in here.

Don't you say that too loud. Or I'll go an Italian vinegar. I would never use it. What's a New Zealand vinegar? I don't know. Now I want to know about New Zealand vinegar. I don't think we're popular with that. Again, what is your issue with our exports?

I don't have any issue with that. You do. You're shitting on the chocolate and the pine trees. I don't want the chocolate going smaller. He just doesn't want a small chocolate. He loves his Whittakers. I just don't want a small chocolate, but it doesn't look like that's happening.

There's an artisan vinegar. We can relax. Located in Christchurch. Shirley's Artisan's Vinegar. Okay. I'm giving you the wrap up here. 13 past six. And a good morning to our vinegar enthusiast listeners.

A very good morning to our vinegar exporters. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley. We are absolutely hemorrhaging New Zealanders at the moment. Are we? Hemorrhaging New Zealanders. Our biggest loss of New Zealanders since 2013. Are they dying? No, they're moving overseas.

Oh, okay. The promised land of Australia. Yeah. Well, just everywhere, actually, because in the last six weeks, 15,000 New Zealanders have applied for Australian citizenship. Yeah. Now, that includes ones that were already there. Yeah.

Because it became easier to become an Australian citizen. So maybe lots of people who were dilly-dallying but living there as residents have applied for citizenship. What's the benefit? Benefits. Right. The same benefits you would get if you were a citizen of New Zealand. Yeah. Because my brothers lived there for like 12, 13 years. He should be jumping on it.

He should 100% be applying. Because a lot of Kiwis when they had COVID lockdowns and stuff were kind of screwed, eh? They didn't get any of the subsidies or help. No, but my brother got one from New Zealand. Good old New Zealand. Can he pay that back? Yeah, he has. We're going to pay that back? Yeah, he has.

We're going to need that back. Yeah, he has. Don't investigate him. Yeah. We're going to need it back. I think my brother is too, because he doesn't want to live in Australia.

He wants to live in New Zealand. It's too hard to come back. For how many years? 12, like 13 years. He lives here now. That's his home. No. He's got a Kiwi girlfriend.

He's too proud. He's too proud to become an Australian citizen. I know. It kind of feels like they're cheating, right? Why is it too hard to come back? Money. Oh, gotcha. I've got another friend there.

She's got two kids, husband, and they desperately want to move home because they've got really young kids and their families both live in New Zealand. But the pay cut they'll have to take in their industries to come home. It's ridiculous. New Zealand, but the pay cut they'll have to take in their industries to come home. In between a whole lot of really hilarious videos I was getting on Instagram reels last night, including one woman who was snowboarding and strapping up her boots and singing along to

Rihanna while a grizzly bear was chasing her in the background and she had absolutely no idea. What? I'm getting served a lot of bear stuff at the moment. Okay, a lot of bears. A lot of beer content. There's this account that just literally compares jobs in New Zealand and Australia. And I was like, oh, it's in a New Zealand accent. They'll spin this to make us look good.

Yeah. They didn't. They didn't. Oh, okay. They didn't. Yeah. They didn't do it. So we have had a 34,800 New Zealand citizens leave since June this year That's a lot, isn't it?

Yeah A lot left But 120,000 non-resident New Zealand citizens No, non-New Zealand citizens Yep Including some residents Have migrated here. So we've still got more people than we did last year,

but it's people migrating to New Zealand. Yeah, right. And a whole lot of New Zealanders leaving. But we are still gaining a population. Sorry. I was trying to hold that in. This is terrible news for us. Yeah, it's not great, is it?

I don't want people to be here if they don't want to be here. No, I mean us specifically. Because it's not the Breeze listeners moving to Australia. Oh, yeah, you're saying that a lot of these are out. It's the young, funky people. It's the young, funky dudes and dudettes. The young, funky people, yo pros, yeah. Hot yo pros.

The dudes and babes. Well, it's good for the podcast, though. People can listen to the podcast when they go overseas. As long as they know podcasts exist. Yeah, they do, yeah. Well, they can listen for the podcast, though. People can listen to the podcast when they go overseas. As long as they know podcasts exist. Yeah, they do, yeah. Well, they can listen to our podcast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Absolutely.

Thank you for that, Hayley. That's lovely. So if you're packing up, maybe you're on your way to the airport right now. It's just your last morning. You're leaving. Subscribe to the podcast. Yeah, absolutely.

And also, good riddance. We don't want you if you don't want to be here. Yeah. Is that what we're saying? No, no, no. You don't say that because we're trying to get them to listen. But also, yeah, like, screw you. Where's your patriot?

Yeah, exactly. You're chasing the dollar, are you? You'll soon find out there's more important things than money. Yeah, that's right. Where's your mana? Like winning Lotto tomorrow night. That's money. That's money.

That's money-based. It's all money-based. Sane amount of money. Sane amount of money. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Sometimes in life it might take you a bit of time to realise your sexuality. Perhaps you haven't known it your whole life and it sort of dawns on you. Okay.

Later in life. I have friends for which this has occurred. But for one woman, her name is Ellie, she was at university and she said she was watching a lot of Netflix. And she thinks that Netflix worked out that she was bisexual about six months before she figured it out. Because Netflix kept recommending to her shows and films with like bisexual themes or lesbian themes. And so she'd watch them and obviously enjoy them and watch them through. Yeah, and then be like,

they'd recommend more. Right. And then she was like, man, I'm watching a lot of gay stuff. What kind of stuff was Netflix? Just out of interest? Yeah. Well, one of the stories was You, Me, Her.

Now, isn't that the one the husband and wife and they bring in a third? Goodness me, I'm not being served anything like this on Netflix. What's your Netflix serving up? You, Me, Her. A lot of gold rush kind of shows. You do.

Yeah, yeah. Survival shows. I think Netflix knows you're fully hetero. Billed as television's first polyamorous romantic comedy, You, Me, Her centers on a couple who's waning sex life in a sequence of surprising... What a way to have your sex life described. Mine's waxing. W couple who's waning sex life in a sequence of surprising... What a way to have your sex life described. Mine's waxing.

Waxing, waning. And a sequence of surprising turns are about to take their relationship in a direction neither could have imagined. Yeah. Okay, right. Yeah, she said Sense8 is another one that she was shown. And then she started realizing like,

man, I'm getting a lot like this. The Fall, The Sinner, House of Cards. All like this. I guess there's a few characters that are like, yeah, just hot women. Yeah, hot women. And then she said, she realised about six months later, then she was like, oh, it's all making sense now.

I was really like drawn to this in a natural way. It's like when people's one cards and stuff work out that they're pregnant before they need. How? There was this wild story about this guy. Not from overseas. Yeah, that was in America.

Or something. And some guy was furious that they were sending his teenage daughter deals for pregnancy kits and stuff. And then, yeah, it turned out she was pregnant. And they knew before she did. How? I don't know. Because of what she was buying. Pickles and stuff. And then, yeah, it turned out she was pregnant and they knew before she did. How? Because of what she was buying. Pickles and peanuts. Pickles and ice cream.

Yeah, just the weirdest collection of things. Magazines. Yeah. Yeah, wow. Well, this is intelligence. And then she was like, don't forget that you've got the genre codes that you can search.

Instead of searching like LBGTQA plus films, you've got the codes and you can search. Instead of searching like LBGTQA plus films, you've got the codes and you can get like more. I always see those pop up online, yeah. Wow. 1-0-0-0-1-0. That's your gay stuff. Well, yeah, look at this. Comedies

6548. Dramas 5763. These are great and they reveal so much more than you would see on your homepage. Now I'm just going to have a look at New Zealand's gay content, just out of interest for our listeners. Grizzly and the Lemmings, that's a cartoon. Sounds hot. Paw Patrol, I think we've got different codes.

There is some real bisexual stuff going on, and there's a lot of male dogs in that tower. They're all in uniform. That's pretty hot. There is some real bisexual stuff going on, and there's a lot of male dogs in that tower. Okay. They're all, like, in uniform. That's pretty... Oh, that's hot. That's really hot. Yeah, that's hot. Yeah, you're telling me they're chasing...

Like village people. ...Rusty having a bloody good time. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. This comes from Reddit, New Zealand's Reddit, where someone said their landlord had emailed them saying that their rent was going to go up. Dear so-and-so, time flying.

The year nearly finished. I think you guys are very good tenants and I'm happy to sign another year with you. Because the bank interest rate increased a lot, so I want to increase the rent to $630 a week. From what? You don't say that. You don't say that. You don't say that.

Because when the interest rates go down, it's not like the landlord's going to be like, I'm going to cut you some slack. Your rent's going down because the interest rates are going down. Oh, yeah, true. You just want to be like, this is how it goes. This is the market value of rent at the moment. It's going up.

Does it say what they were paying? They were paying $560. No, you can't increase it that much. You can, to $630. You can increase it once a year up to 20% of the price. So, yeah, that's under $100 and 20% of $500 is $100, so they can increase it that much. Yikes.

If you'd like to sign another year tenancy agreement, please let me know and hopefully we can renew the agreement by the end of this month. Regards. Don't regards me. Don't regards? After saying that, don't regards me. Good afternoon.

This is the reply. Redacted and I, which is a funny name, Redacted and I have considered your emails and to be honest we were surprised to see a proposed increase in rent. We consider that we've been good, reliable tenants and had planned to stay here long term. And an increase in rent from $560 to $630 is 13%. Oh, yeah.

And a 13% in rent is not something that would work for us long term. Furthermore, inflation has been 6% this year. And similar properties listed here, one for $49595 a week, one for $5.50 a week. We note that trade-in prices are what the landlord is asking for, obviously not ends up what is always agreed upon. Yes. So maybe the tenancy.gov.nz market price linked guide is a better guideline in all likelihood for prices of rent.

We are proposing that the rent increases from $560 to $585 a week for a further fixed term if renewal is confirmed. We believe this is the maximum

that could be reasonably considered a fair market rental for the property in the current market. We do like living here and we do wish to stay for a long time

but it has to be within our means. We look forward to hearing from you. Kind regards. Well written. That was really good. Are they a lawyer or something?

They've done their research. Hi. I see the two properties you sent me. The first one. Oh, my goodness. Oh, for God's sake. Looks no garage. And the second one is very poor condition.

Although it says pool condition. No pool. Oh, my God. Run a spell check. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're trying to burn people. They are not very comparable with this as a new painting and renovation. They also provide a good brand fridge and washing machine.

Removed now. Well, don't say we supplied you something, but we removed it. But anyway, I will take $5.85 for another year. Wait, so he said yes? Yeah. Yeah. This one that the owner wants is $1,000 a week. They do put in there, though, and that is a two-bedroom townhouse.

But that'll be one of those brand-new builds. Yeah, swish, swish, swish. Yeah, yeah. Fully insulated situation with some double-glazed windows. They got away with it. Well, for a year. They got the $585. Yeah, for a year. They got the $585. Yeah, for a year.

But it adds up because they'll be saving themselves $2,300 over 12 months. I like this. I think it's good not to just keel over and take it. Yeah, they didn't just roll over. Yeah, you're just like, well, well. Actually, I've done my own research. I've done some Google. You can't just pull the woolly over me. This is my house

as well. Yeah. I'm entitled to make it their home and fight for it. Because they didn't give reasoning as to why it was going up that much. They just kind of set interest rates. Yeah, right. And then plucked a number out of the air. Very cheeky. I think it's good from the tenants.

But also... I'd start hammering a few bloody pins in the walls, though. You're going to put a pin in the wall? Yeah, I'd put a pin in the wall. This landlord sounds like the one that're going to put a pin in the wall? Yeah, I'd put a pin in the wall. This landlord sounds like the one that's going to come in anyway afterwards

even if you've left it in great state charging for a professional carpet clean. Oh yeah, they're cheeky. Big professional carpet clean energy coming from this landlord.

Yeah, and then they'll make you leave for the day and they'll just go hire a rug doctor themselves. Yeah, of course they will. They're not paying a professional.

No, no, no. Or just not even clean it. Not even clean it. It's better now. Yeah, it's better. I vacuumed again. No, no, no, no, no. Or just not even clean it. Not even clean it. They're like, it's better now. Yeah, it's better. I vacuumed again. Yeah, I just chucked a vacuum around. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. From the self-driving ZM think tank, this is the top six. Hello there. COVID restrictions are over. Dr. Aisha Burrell yesterday announced the end to the remaining COVID restrictions. Wow-way. I still find it funny when you go to like a bakery or a cafe and they've still got a QR code on. You were laughing about this in the sushi place across from work.

When Fletcher's just like, did you scan in? Yeah. It's like, oh, my God. Because he's still got the QR code on the door next to the cash register. Remember the next level was scan in and show your vaccine pass to get into like a pub or a restaurant. Remember that? Yeah, vaccine pass, good stuff.

I only just recently deleted the app, the COVID Tracer app. I got rid of that a long time ago. Yeah, I was like, wow. It's in my travel folder on my second page of apps. I think you can go, babe. I think you can get rid of it. I like it. Let it go.

I like it. Okay. I've got the top six things about COVID restrictions that I think we should just implement full time. Number six on the list, not leaving the house. Boy, I love not leaving the house. Stop being a hermit. Come out. Not leaving the house. Boy, I love not leaving the house. Stop being a hermit. Come out.

Not leaving the house. We're going to a party with us. We've got a friends leaving party in three weeks and Vaughn's like, no. I don't want to. I don't want to. Who's leaving? Zach. I found out when I was invited to the Facebook event.

Yeah. Well, I'm not invited to this. That's how I found out he was leaving. That is no way to tell a man that you've kissed that you're leaving the country. Can I take your spot? Because you don't want to go, but I'm not invited. Yeah. You can come.

Yeah. Here you go. Do you reckon I can just put myself in there? Yeah. You can be my plus one. Number five on the list of the top six things about COVID restrictions that I think we should just implement full time. No group's bigger than five.

God, that was good stuff. No. Five is nice though. Five's a nice number. Yeah. Maybe six. Two couples in a... In a tagline.

In a discount. In a fletch. I don't want to be four-wheeling your party. Four-wheeler. He's a four-wheeler. I don't want to be the spear on the back of a RAV4.

Yeah. You are with your little silly Looney Tunes cover or something. Hey, whoa. Yo, 70 Cent. Yeah, you are with your little silly Looney Tunes cover or something. Hey, whoa, Yosemite Sam. Yeah. Number four on the list

of the top six things about COVID restrictions that I think we should just implement full-time. Working from home. No. Because that was good. There was no traffic. No, but for us it sucked. For people that still had to go to work. There was no traffic. That was pretty cool. Number three on the list of the top six COVID restrictions

I think we should just implement full time. Roadblocks in and out of Auckland. To keep Aucklanders in and the rest of you out. Remember that? You just show your bloody power bill to come home. Yeah. I live here. Please let me go to Wanaka to ride my horses.

Oh my God, that's right. Remember the Wanaka couple? Uh-huh. That's right. Man, that was fun. Piling on to rich people. Oh, it felt good. As a nation, it felt good.

It felt good. Number two on the list of the top six things about COVID restrictions that I think we should just implement full-time. A 1pm TV show that we all watch. Yeah, you would check your phone and be like, shoot, gotta go. Oh, hang on. I'll put it on. I'll put it on.

What was on before the thing? Emmerdale? Was it Emmerdale that was on before the 1pm? Wasn't it a game show? Like the one with the... The Tipping Point. No, it wasn't the Tipping Point. That's earlier in the day.

Right. They might have popped a Tipping Point in there. And we could all remember... I feel like it was some British... We could all remember the journalist voices, couldn't we? Yes. Jessica Tova. Tova Jessica.

Yeah. Number one on the list of the top six things about COVID restrictions. I think we should just implement full time. Just if you had the slightest sniff, you should just stay home and play video games for a week. You had a week off. I want another week off. I've still got the sniff. You still need it.

Bring it back. Bring it back. Send me home. You could literally be home for weeks. Send me home, boss. Send me home. Send me home. You could literally be home for weeks. Send me home, boss. Send me home. Send me home. That is today's top six.

Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Now, there is a woman who is sharing a, and I've got to say this woman's a bit of me. Okay. I'm just going to throw it to the group. Do you mean looks wise? Yeah, I don't know. There's something about it.

There's something about it. Okay. But each factor. Bit of a boyish charm, bit of a shaggy-do on top, you know? Okay. Anyway, she's shared, she calls it the day in the life of an unfortunate woman. She had a wild event happen and totally missed it. Somebody broke into my apartment in Los Angeles last night.

Let's get into it. They went through everything. Every one of these cabinets was open. My entire fridge was open. Everything from my fridge and freezer were everywhere. There was bananas eaten with just peels everywhere. The cherry on top is they took a jar of

honey that I had and smeared it on everything. They came in here, right? Where my bed's right over here, right? Started smoking cigarettes. How did I sleep through that? So she had a home invasion. It feels like these people must have been like drunk or something because they weren't really like taking stuff.

I mean, to smear honey over, like you're breaking into someone's house. You're not stealing anything. You're eating bananas and smearing. Were they bears? Oh, no. No, they weren't bears. I just had a beer break because bears are looking for ways to cool down in the heat wave.

Yeah. Oh, are they? They might have been trying to get into the fridge. Yeah, I saw a bear in somebody's swimming pool. Swimming pool, yeah. I was like, hey. Yeah. Well, she they? They might have been trying to get into the fridge. Yeah, I saw a bear in somebody's swimming pool. Swimming pool, yeah. Yeah. Well, she slept through the whole thing. Does she wear earplugs or earpods?

I don't know. I don't know. Because I'm big on the earplugs when I sleep. I'm not. I need to hear the room. I've got brown noise blasting the whole time. I always remember when I was a kid, my dad would be like, did you hear that car last night?

I'd be like, no. I'll turn into him. I'll be like, in the morning, did you guys hear that car last night? I'd be like, no. I'll turn into him. I'll be like, in the morning, did you guys hear that car last night? Shut up. What are you talking about? It's like,

our car took that corner up the road a little fast. What? I can hear, and like, we've got a security light on the garage and it'll turn on

when the cats walk in front of it. And you're like. Yeah, but through curtains, I can be like, security lights on. Like, it's just the light changes

in the room and I'm awake. Yeah, me too. Become a horribly light sleeper. She's obviously a heavy sleeper and can sleep through anything. If you look on the social, on the video, sorry, like, it is a ruckus.

The, and she lives in like, it's, is it New York City? LA. LA. She lives in like an apartment so it's not like she's in some vast mansion and they're on the other side of the house. Like they're right in your space. And if they're opening things and... It's a mess in there.

But also this is LA. We can assume she's on a sleep aid, be it CBD, gummies. Oh yeah, she's had a gummy bear or a Larazzi. She's had two Larazzis and a couple of cocktails. Does she mention if she was on any kind of gummies or sleep aid? I don't think so. Everyone's on gummies.

That's crazy. Everyone in LA is on gummies, especially everyone that looks like her. She's got a shaggy mullet do and a spike necklace. Yeah, she's doing it for the sleep aid. Absolutely. But I want to know if other people, our listeners, have slept through something as epic as this. Because I do not.

Aaron will go, and I'll be like, what's happening? I'm awake. I'm alert. I'm kind of a deep sleeper. Yeah. You live in the city. I live in the city, so I'm used to noise. Hustle bustle, yeah.

And so I can just easily block it out and I'm just like. Yeah. That's straight asleep. I can't relate. I've slept oh yeah my friend when we went to Bali

Yeah. I went to Bali last year. You've never mentioned it. Yeah I went to Bali. Did you know this? It's so exquisite. She's been to Bali. Hayley went to Bali.

So last year you know in our mid years a year ago now. What I like about it is rather than tell us too much about her travels she just does it year ago now. What I like about it is rather than tell us too much about her travels, she just does it, you know. And then we'll just.

Nothing online. Yeah, not bragging about it. I know. I'm a private person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to keep a lot to myself. And you're a people person as well. You don't want anyone to feel bad that they haven't been to Bali.

Oh, God, no. I don't want to smear my privilege in people's faces. No. That I get to go on holidays for two weeks in Bali. When I was in Bali, Aaron had a horrendous first night belly, right, like Bali belly. And we were like clambering around

the bathroom looking for pills, looking for all that and our friends slept through it. The next morning they were like, what a magical sleep. We were like, I don't know, Aaron's a lost a couple of kgs. People that are listening that have slept through something similar, like a break inin or like an alarm going off? A fire?

Oh, well, you know, and you survived. Only call if you survived. Only call. Well, don't call if you're dead. Yeah, don't call if you're dead. We're not taking calls from dead listeners. No, not this morning. So 0800 DALS at M.

Let's take some calls. What about like a car crash and you're like in the car, you know, like you're the passenger. No, surely not. And someone's having a big like. And you woke up in the ditch. And you're like. What are we in the ditch? Currently we're talking about the thing that you

slept through. There was a woman in Los Angeles who slept through a really, I was going to say bombastic, a really bombastic home invasion. Bring that word back. Yeah, oh, it's back.

That term, bombastic. Bombastic side eye. That's already back. Is it back? Yeah. Oh, pops. It's back. You say bombastic side eye.

Oh my God. And I say it and it embarrasses my children. I'm like, I'm going to give you the bombastic side eye. I'm so happy that you're able to do this to your kids now. I'm loving it too.

I love this. They're loving it, I reckon. Yeah, yeah. They're huge fans of embarrassing dad. Yeah, especially Augie. She's going to be absolutely loving it. She's coming that age where she's really like. Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, we're talking about the things that you slept through because this woman slept through this bombastic home invasion. And, like, her place is, like, ruined. It's bizarre she slept through this. So what have you slept through? Let's take some calls. Hayley, what did you sleep through? Sorry, that's my name.

That's impossible. Hi, Hayley. Hayley, there's already a Hayley here. We're going to need you to take on a second. What's your middle name, Hayley, on the phone? Oh, I don't really want to say. It's quite embarrassing. Okay, let's call it.

No, we simply must know. It's Hayley Louise. Louise. Everyone born in the 80s and 90s was called Louise or Rose, so you're fine. Louise, Rose or Jane. Louise is on the phone. Good morning, Louise. Wheeze.

Hayley Wheeze. Let's call her Hayley Wheeze. Little wheeze in her pants. Oh, that, honestly, that brings back trouble. Oh, we've heard it. We've triggered it. No, we can't do that. We've triggered it. Okay, well, Hayley Whez Let's call her Hayley Weez Little Weez in her pants Honestly that brings back Trouble for me We've heard it We've triggered it No we can't do that

Okay well Hayley Weez What did you sleep through? I slept through a car Crashing into my house Oh my god Like where in the house Were you And where did it crash into?

So I was in the bedroom Next to the lounge And it crashed into the lounge Oh my god And when did you wake up? I woke up Dad woke me up the next morning. I was like, Hayley, come look at this. And the whole neighbourhood woke up.

Wait, wait, wait. How long? How drunk were you? What time did the car crash into the house? And what time did you wake up? The car crashed in at about 2am. And everybody in the whole house woke up on me. I wasn't drunk.

I was only like, what, 13? Oh, wow. So you just... Yeah. What the 13-year-old... Remember those big hormonal sleeps? Dude, dude, I was just about to say, how good was a sleep when you were 13 through, like, 16, 17?

And you could sleep for 12 hours. School holidays, you'd wake up at, like, 1pm. Yeah, nothing woke up. Yeah, and you'd wake up, and you still wouldn't, like, be busting for a wee. You'd be like, I could wee. I could wee. I could wee. Oh, my God.

Wow, that's insane. Are you still now, Hayley, a deep sleeper? I, yes, I very much am, especially when I have a few drinky-po's, you know. Oh, mate, I tell you what. Hayley also likes to drink. Oh, my God. You can't adopt my personality and my name. I'm sorry. Hayley, I think like when you come

for your show in Christchurch, because I'm coming for the first one, we should absolutely get on it. We should have a Hayley cocktail. A double Hayley cocktail. Wait, do you have yourself an hour? It's going to be like a Hayley day. Do you have a big boyfriend? No, I've got a female version. This person.

Hayley's face was just like. You're living my other life. You're living the other life I dream of and consider doing one day. Yes, it's way better. Way better. I was born in Christchurch. Did I leave a Hayley behind? I was going to say, it's sort of a splitting of the two.

We're the same but the opposite. I don't want you to get in a it's sort of a splitting of the two. We're the same but the opposite. I don't want gay Hayley in Christchurch. I don't want you two getting together near any sort of electrical circuit and at the same time making a wish to see what the other's life is like because we could have a Freaky Friday situation over here. Yuck, yuck, no. No, no, no, no, no. Are you yucking the penis?

Are you yucking a penis? I'm yucking it. It's disgusting. Well, I'm not yucking what you deal with. Can we call her of the week, Hayley, please? Can we call her of the week, Hayley? please? Can we call her of the week, Hayley? Oh my God, really? Are you kidding? I was kind of a bit

self-absorbed. Oh, ding the bell. You've got the bell. Ding, ding, ding. Yes. Yay. She yucked penises. She did yuck penises. I don't know if we should give the call of the week.

Are you allowed to yuck a penis? Are you allowed to yucked penises. She did yuck penises. I don't know if we should give the caller of the week. Do you know a lady yuck a penis? In 2023, are you a lady yuck a penis? We're okay. Well, it's also a little bit self-indulgent because she's called Hayley. Because she's me. It's the part of me I left behind. Hayley, our caller of the week, we're going to hook you up with a $50 McCafe voucher

thanks to our friends at McCafe. Well done. I'll see you in Christchurch, how about a little drinky? We're going to have a great time. She was fun. Let's go to Georgia. Georgia, what did you sleep through? Good morning.

Did you just burp? Did you just burp? Did you just burp? Did you just burp? No, I think it was the phone line. It sounded like she dropped a rock. Did you burp? Did you just burp?

No, I didn't. I'm driving. It sounded, Georgia, like we went, Georgia, good morning. And you're like, burp? Yeah, I didn't. I'm driving. It sounded like we were in Georgia. Good morning. And you're like, burp. What's that? Oh, no. It's probably my phone.

My phone has been dropped so many times that it's just terrible. So it's probably just my phone making weird noises. Okay. That's all right. Okay. So what did you sleep through? Oh, I went to go visit my cousins in South Africa. And I sleep on the couch in their house.

And they've got, like, security beams surrounding the property. Wait, so I was trying to blowtorch the door open? Wait, so they crawled under a security laser beam? Yeah. And then they sort of blowtorched the field and the Wait, so they crawled under a security laser beam? Yeah. And then they put a blowtorch to the field and the door would be unbreakable. Yeah. But they put a blowtorch and they melted the field around the glass

and the frame. So they could take the frame so they could take it out. Oh, my God. Wait, so you're just sleeping on a couch? I was going to say, Tom Cruise and Simon Pegg out there? And so you're on the couch.

You don't hear a single thing of this. Not a single thing. And they came in and they took the phone from on the couch next to me. They took my luggage. They left me a pair of high heels, which is weird. Oh, that's nice. That was it. That's nice.

You've still got to go out in South Africa, don't you? God, Africa's wild, eh? It is so wild. Someone's taking a blowtorch, trying to break into your house, getting under your laser beams. Yeah, they came back a week ago and did the back door as well. Why not? It was a two-part job.

They couldn't get it all done in one day. It was like Mission Impossible, Dead Reckoning 1 and 2. Georgia, thank you. Megan, what did you sleep through? I don't know if I can follow that one very well, though. I just... I believe in yourself. ...worked with the police in my bedroom.

Oh! Oh, okay. What... Why were they... We had been... Sorry? No, go ahead, over. Oh, we'd been out all day, and we'd left a window open,

and the neighbours had seen somebody sort of casing our place. We came home, went to bed, left the window open, and then we looked to the police in our bedroom. See them coming through the window? Right. And they climbed in through the... They broke in because they thought there was somebody in there because we weren't answering the door.

Sounds like an insane job. We were asleep. Corrupt. Wow, okay. And what, shining torches in your face? Shining, so they woke us up, shining torches. My husband is from Scotland and he just speaks normally.

He sounds very aggressive. Yep. And so, yes, there was a lot of yelling and then the policeman, the second policeman had no idea what was going on and had his pepper spray ready.

But thankfully, he didn't actually have to use it. And your husband was like, got out of my swamp! Megan, thank you. Some messages in.

It was Christmas morning and my entire family left for a tropical holiday and I slept through them leaving and they got on the... Okay, you're just telling us the Home Alone plot. Oh, you silly Billy.

That'd be rife. See what you've done here. I don't want to talk about this on the radio. But can we read it out? We can read it out. But I slept through someone breaking into our accommodation in Australia. They stole our milk. Didn't take money or valuables sitting on the kitchen table.

Just milk. Doesn't need a good cuppa, you know? Yeah. Just borrow some milk off the neighbours who are asleep, but that's okay because I've got the key, so I'm going to pop in there. My friend was a teenager and somehow her parents left because they were selling their house.

It was an open home and the real estate agent was showing someone through and said, oh, yeah, this is one of the bedrooms and opened the bedroom to my friend asleep in the bedroom. In your undies and T-shirt. Having one of those 13-year-old 12-hour sleeps. Dude, oh, God. If you are like 12 through 17, 18.

Yeah, man. It's the booze that really kills it. I think it's when you start drinking that it really kills it. Because you can have those days where you're in bed all day and you're kind of on and off. But there is this sweet spot of human existence as in the teenage years where you can sleep 12 hours uninterrupted no wheeze breaks you don't hear a damn thing you don't get cold you wake up and have like eight pieces of toast yeah you wake up ravenous yeah perhaps the only thing that wakes

you up is the fact that you're hungry it's a a mini hibernation. Now we're a skinny bear looking for some food. If you are entering that period of your life. It's a good time. Enjoy it. Oh, man. It will never be the same. If your parents try to wake you up, nah, let them sleep. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Now, here are five questions to ask yourself, and you can send them to your partner if you're going through a bit of conflict, to ask yourself if you're in this sort of sludge of a relationship, when you're sort of past the fun honeymoon, I still like you phase, and you're in the, oof, the real weight of it. Right. And I read these and was like, holy moly.

Don't worry, we can't afford to break up, me and Aaron. So I'm not even really applying it. You made a pact, didn't you, during the renovations? You just can't break up. Nope. Plus we love each other very deeply. Yeah. Where am I going to find a bigger man?

He's a big dude. He's a big, yeah, it'd be very hard for you. It will be. But these are quite intense questions. So I'm sorry if I read these out loud, you ask yourself these questions and now you leave your partner. Now don't put that on me, but it may happen.

Okay. Now the six questions. Number one is, you know, are they up the wars? That's number one. An official. Because if you ask your partner, what is your sort of directional situation with the wars? Yes.

And they say, who are the wars? Gone. If they say, I'm indifferent to the wars, they're gone. They should know that you're on the warrior's bandwagon. If they're down the wars, I wouldn't even see them. No, gone. Now, here are the five questions you'd ask yourself. If someone told you you're a lot like your partner, would this be a compliment

to you? If someone said, you're very similar to Sade. You and Aaron are very similar. Would that be a compliment to you? Don't have to answer it. What's their tone on that? Do you know what I mean? They're really intense. What an intense question. Really intense. Because then

if you don't like that you're like your partner, then do you like your partner? Then do you like your partner? That's a great question. Really intense. Because then if you don't like that you're like your partner. Then do you like your partner? Then do you like your partner? That's a great question. Deep question. Wow, that is full on. Number two. Oh, am I going to be ruining everyone's relationship on a Tuesday morning?

Are you truly fulfilled? Yeah, but it's great because you ruin their relationship and then we do like a phone-in conversation topic on like what's wrong with your relationship and it's a self-perpetuating machine called radio. Yeah, they can call in tomorrow. Alright, tune in. Number two, are you truly fulfilled or just less lonely?

What? These are really good questions. I know, I thought that they'd be like, is he nice to your mum? But then that's also putting way too much on somebody else to give you self-fulfillment. That's on you. Yeah, but a else to give you self-fulfillment. That's on you.

Yeah, but a lot of people do rely on others for that. A lot of people do. You've got to love yourself before you can love others. Like how many people don't want to break up because they don't want to be alone? Yeah, I know. But they might be happier. But that could be a discovery in yourself and you'll be like, oh, yeah, I actually,

it's not a full, a fulfillment thing. I just, yeah, hate being by myself. Oh, my God, these are deep. Number three, let's carry on. Are you able to be unapologetically yourself or do you feel the need to show up differently to please your partner? Man, I'm unapologetically myself. You are, yeah, you are.

100%. Yeah. And so even with the stuff that comes out of me. Sort of all the time. Sort of all the time. Sort of, yeah, there's never a respite at all. Yeah. And so even with the stuff that comes out of it. Sort of all the time. Sort of all the time. Sort of, yeah, there's never a respite at all. Yeah. Sort of like.

Yeah. Never really. Yeah, nonstop. It's less of a wave and more of a tsunami. Yeah. It just keeps pushing, doesn't it? It keeps pushing inland. Yeah, wow.

There's no break from it. Wow. Even if you retreat to the highlands. Yeah. Public, private, she's all one. Number four, are you in love with who your partner is right now as a whole or are you only in love with their good sides, their potential or the idea of them?

Oh, wow. This, what a question. That's asking too much. Yeah, because people have highs and lows in life. You go through highs and lows in moments where you are thriving and moments where you're just surviving. If you love everything about your partner, then you're a sap. That's not enjoyable to be with.

I've always thought this. Thank you, Vaughan. People say, like, you're supposed to love everything about them. I don't think you're supposed to. No, you don't. You don't. You're still a human being. You're supposed to just love the majority of them.

It's like suddenly you're in a relationship. You now can no longer see that other people are attractive. This is not true. No. Got the wandering eye. Number five, the final question is, would you want your future or imagined child to date someone like your partner?

So say I had a daughter. Oh, wow, yeah. Would I want them dating someone like my partner? She'd be lucky. Yeah. She'd be lucky to find a massive hunk of a man. Right. As I've found.

Yeah. Deep questions, man. Man, they are a lot. So don't forget the number one question. Are they up the ones? Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Ho, ho, ho. Ooh, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Ho, ho, ho, ho. So we're like halfway through August. A couple of weeks it'll be September. We're 130. Spring, spring. Spring will sprung. Spring will sprung. I saw some daffodils the other day.

Yeah, daffodils are sort of a mid-winter bloom. People always assume they come in hot in spring, but your bulbs do. Your bulbs. Your bulbs start popping up. I just thought, oh, it's like freezing cold. I'm seeing daffodils.

Is this just global warming? Yep. A little bit. Would you guys like snowballs? Snowballs? You know the white things that always grow with daffodils? Oh my God, they're my favourite.

They smell so good. They smell real good and they're really cute. I like those more than daffodils. Oh, controversial. I'm spicy like that. Well, there's no snow bell day, is there? 131 days, 16 hours and 15 minutes until Christmas.

Yes. 131 days. This year is going to be insane. The Warriors will be NRL champions. Up the waz. Up the waz. Up the waz. We all got up the waz.

We'll probably be already looking forward to the next season. Well, a lot of reports of Christmas creeping in. If you see anything while you're adding about, take a photo and send it to us, FVHZM, on all the socials. Yep. Hannah has sent this in. Dunedin Santa Parade has posted on their Facebook page, the official Dunedin Santa Parade page.

Wow. Is it the stuff of legend, that parade? It is the stuff of legend. Wow. The countdown is on until thisedin Santa Parade page. Wow. Is it the stuff of legend? It is the stuff of legend. Wow. The countdown is on until this year's Santa Parade, which means it's time to get your applications in so you can be part of Dunedin's biggest and most exciting annual community event. Throwing a little bit of unnecessary shade on other community events

there. Yeah, I feel. Applications for entry are now open online. Head to dunedinsantaparade.co.nz to apply for a float position. And it will be on Sunday, the 3rd of September. Now, I can see that weekend, the second, Britney Spears' birthday, the third Sunday will be a very popular weekend for Santa Parades. What?

It's September. No, you said September. I meant December. You meant December. I was going to say. Did I say September? Yeah. That'll be the cold and flu medications.

The cold and flu meds. He's absolutely high as a kite right now. Yeah, he is. You're doing so well considering. Thank you very much. Yeah. Thank you very much. It's the mixing of the medication that's not going well.

Yeah. Rihanna messages in saying, does a Christmas giveaway count towards Christmas penetration? Absolutely. A friend of mine in the UK just shared this in the hopes of winning. Saw a few shares of people trying to win something yesterday. I can't remember the name off the top of my head. It's a clothes thing.

I was like, all right. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Good luck to you all. But this is to, you share this post and you could win a Christmas shoot for your kitties. Okay. I bet that's in the UK, but that definitely counts towards it. Yeah. Definitely counts towards it.

Hannah said, Christmas penetration in Dunedin today. No word of what this retail outlet is, but it is a retail outlet. The wreaths are out. What? As are the baubles. No, too early.

Baubles. It's got a real spotlight, $2 shop vibe going on. Oh, okay, right. Because remember, it's my first year I'm getting a Christmas tree. I've never had my own Christmas tree. In your house? Yeah.

Wow, okay. So do I have to start shopping for baubles now? Are they going to sell out? Are they going to sell out? No. The closer you wait to Christmas, the more likely you are to get a cheaper bargain as well. Because they want to get rid of the baubles. Aliana spotted at H&M in Sylvia Park Christmas penetration.

It's Mickey and Minnie on a hoodie that says, Happy Christmas. Oh, too soon. That's straight up Christmas, isn't it? That's straight up Christmas. Willis Street opposite New World. Yep. Wellington.

Yeah. Gloriously freshly opened Christmas shop is happening. Emma sent that in. Well, Wellington's big on the Christmas shops. Ever since Kikoldi's isn't a thing anymore. So they were lifting the Christmas worth in. The baton's been passed at the Christmas shops. Wow.

Anonymous said that the Ascot Foursquare supermarket is having a pre-Christmas sale. It's time to start thinking about it. 20% off all giftware excludes plants and incense. Okay. Almost said another word, not incense. Just a T in there somewhere. There's a few words that sound like it. Plenty of cheeky canomes in stock. They've

spelt canomes, not gnomes. Oh, it's gnomes. It's gnomes. Okay, I'm going to quickly pump through. Daniel also said pick and mix lollies. Have said we've put together the ultimate lolly advent calendar with 24 days of small treats and a larger mix to enjoy on Christmas Day. Yes, please. These are limited.

Before September was done. These are limited. This is a boutique artisan. Oh, that sounds nice. Advent calendar. That's Daniel. All right, with all that in mind and 131 days away from Christmas. Has anyone seen the wrapping paper?

Christmas penetration is at... 4.2%. Oh, that's a jump. It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Play ZM. Now a financial expert has revealed that 42% of us are doing this one thing We're paying for subscriptions we don't use Dude, I'm so bad There's advertising in some podcasts that I listen to

That are like, there's apps and stuff that specially, I don't know how they work, but they go through, I don't know if you give them your credit card details, which feels weird, but like, these are big companies, and it goes through and it tells you all of your regular payments and your subscriptions. Well, I know on iPhone, you just click on your profile name, and then there's a whole tab for subscriptions. That's for subscriptions that you do through Apple. Only through, yeah. there's a whole tab for subscriptions. That's for subscriptions that you do through Apple. Only through, yeah. But then I'm guessing you have to tell these apps that you've got Netflix, you've got Disney+. I don't know. I don't know if it goes through your statement

and just sees like a regular one that comes out monthly and it identifies it as a regular payment. Go through your bank statement. Because I did that recently. I'm subscribed to this thing called a mortgage. God, I'm sick of it. Have you tried unsubscribing? I have tried unsubscribing.

They wanted my house. How rude. And then they won't let you live there probably, eh? This is capitalist bullshit is what it is. Wait, they're going to take my house away?

Apparently, because I unsubscribed for a mortgage, whatever that is. I thought when you bought a house there, you owned it and it was yours. Far from it. No, I don't think so, yeah.

Far from it. Mine's bad. In this cost of living crisis, is that something to check? Well, there's a number, because I've got every single streaming platform. And I've got Spotify that I pay for. And I've got, like, weird fitness stuff. I accidentally paid for, like, Masterclass. Didn't you pay for Chris Hemsworth? weird fitness stuff. I accidentally paid for like Masterclass. Didn't you pay for Chris Hemsworth? Chris Hemsworth

Centre Fitness thing. Yeah, but Chris Hemsworth is hot. I used it once. I used it once. It's like $150. What? Yeah. Have you unsubscribed? I think so. Yeah, see this is wild. You need to go through and have a good check. Yeah, yeah.

I have. Expiring 16th of August. That's tomorrow. I'm going to do a Chris Hemsworth workout today because it's my last possibility. But it's expiring. It's done, right? It's not going to ring you in. Okay, good.

Right, okay. So you've had two workouts for that price. Yeah. That's pretty good. NBA? I mean, I watched all of that on PAX. You could have had like four personal training sessions for that. I know, I know, I know, I know.

Yeah, but is your personal trainer as hot as Chris Hemsworth? Yeah, she's hot, but she's a flight attendant now. So I've been left alone. Look what happened to me. You've been left unattended. I looked in the mirror the other day. My dump has fallen off. Because you were not on her flights.

Yeah, but now she'll just be like, chicken, fish, chicken, tea, coffee. Well, I'll be like chicken and fish. You told me they were both lean, good choices of meat. What do you want from me? Play. ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. Taylor Swift, ready for it on ZM, Fletch Vaughan and Hayley. That is the first song you need to write down,

jot it down in notes, remember it, because you need that with the song at midday and the one at four o'clock to win the double pass to see her live. If you're the first caller through with Bree and Clint when that plays. Yes, write it down. Now, there's been a research. There has been a research. You seen it?

I seen it. And I'm going to explain it to you now. I done it. Did you done this? I done it research. Wow. Okay, well, I seen it and I'm gonna Explain it to you now I done it Did you done this thing? I done it research Wow Okay well I seen it And now I'm gonna tell you it

Some research done In New York City About dating habits In general Like where people are dating The majority of people Still doing your classic You know

Yep Dinner and drinks Some people doing your lunch Gen Z's doing like yoga and stuff. You know. Yeah, no thanks. Yeah. It's a no from me.

I don't want someone to see how unbendy I am. Yeah, or how sweaty I get. Yeah, I know. I'm a wet woman. But they voted that dinner on a date is the hardest date to escape from. And look, they're using the word escape, and I feel like it kind of makes it seem like you've been tied to a chair or something.

But the hardest date to bail on, essentially. Well, it's true because you've got to wait. You've got to sit down, talk, and then you've got to order, wait for your food. It's in public. You're surrounded by people. Other people are involved. People are serving you. And then if all of a sudden there are some red flags and you've got to order, wait for your food. It's in public. You're surrounded by people. Other people are involved. People are serving you.

And then if all of a sudden there are some red flags and you've ordered dinner, you can't just leave. Yeah, I know. Well, you could. You could just be like, hey, I actually think you're a bit of a POS and I'm going to leave. Yeah, but you've ordered your food.

I actually think you're a bit of a POS and I would like you to leave because I'm hungry. And I'll eat your meal as well. Yeah, I'll pay for it and everything. But I can imagine this. I've never done a runner on a date, though. I don't think. Nope.

You've got to pre-plan, though. If you're not sure how it's going to go, you've got to have a friend that's going to be like, I'll call you. Yep. Answer if you want. Or give them a text and say, like, I'll call you. Yep. Answer if you want. Or give them a text and say like with a code word or call me soon, bail me out in like 10 minutes. Go to the bathroom and say call me in five, get back.

I did that with my first date with Aaron. All my flatties were like, text us if it's like not going well and we'll like make an excuse, like call you or something. Yeah. And then I didn't come home for two days and now I'm all like. Are you alive? Well, just like text us just, like call you or something. Yeah. And then I didn't come home for two days. And now I'm all like... Are you alive? Well, just like text us just to say that you're alive. Yeah.

I'm alive and I'm going to marry this guy. Yeah. Anyway, I want to know what is the best excuse you've used to get yourself out of a date, no matter what situation you're in, be it a dinner date or a physical date, a walk date, a late night date, whatever. Yeah, just a drink at a bar.

Drink at a bar. Just say I've got to be home. I'm tired. I need to go home. But maybe you had a bit of a more night day, whatever. Yeah, just a drink at a bar. Drink at a bar. Just say I've got to be home. I'm tired. I need to go home. But maybe you had a bit of a more creative solution than that. Okay. Because it's the people pleaser in a lot of people that you don't want to upset them.

My wife wants me home by 8.30, for example. Yeah. That'd end the day. That would end it, yeah. Yeah. That'd really end the day. Well, no, it'd end by 8.30. Yeah.

Well, how far off from home am I? You live far out. You're 20 minutes. 20 minute drive. I'd be kind of getting ready to go at 8. Yeah, right. In case there was diversions. Okay, so 0800DARLS at M.

We want to take your calls now. You can text through 9696. What is the creative excuse you came up with to leave a date? Give us a call. Luke Combs, Fast Cars, sit in. We are wanting to know the best, most creative excuse you have used to get out of a date, to leave, bail on a date. The humble dinner date has been voted the hardest date to get out of.

Yeah, there's too much around it. There's too many sort of moving parts there to be able to walk out of a restaurant without paying, without eating, without, you know. People have, though. People have. We want to know now. 0800 dials that Emerson number.

You can text through 9696. Someone had, you know, I joked saying my wife wants me home by 8.30. Yeah. Someone said you'd really get along with my wife has gotten me out of a few, like, dates that were headed south pretty quick. What? Sorry, what? You'd get along really well with my wife.

They say it to them when they're like, this date's going terrible. But I would be so annoyed if someone said that to me when I was on a date. You'd get along well with my wife and I'd be like, something you should have told me, man. Yeah, I know, but it's an exit. Yeah, whether you're... This person messages them, I don't think they've got a wife, I think they're just saying it to get out.

Right, but it's a bit of a douchebag thing to say. Yeah, it is. Yeah, but if it's going south and you don't care what this person says because they've already been a bit of a douchebag. What they think of you, yeah. Yeah. Fight douchebag with douchebag. All right, Tash, good morning.

How did you get out of a date creatively? So I was waiting for surgery for my knee because I dislocated it. Okay. My muscles surrounding, or my ligaments surrounding my kneecap were that loose that I could like pop it out. Ooh! Was that like a party trick? Was that a party trick?

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. So I could just pop it off and say I'm going to go to the toilet or something and get down off the seat and then like dislocate it. So you would purposefully dislocate your knee and then come back and be like, oh my God. I've dislocated my knee. That rules. Like look.

Yeah, and then he like drove me to the hospital and I said, oh, it's going to be quite a while. So then he left and I got out of that one. Wait, so then you've got to be Uber from the hospital, and I said, oh, it's going to be quite a while. So then he left, and I got out of that one. Wait, so then you've got to be Uber from the hospital, whack your knee back in place, and go home. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Wait, was the hospital closer to your house than the restaurant? No, no. Okay, wait, because that's more of an Uber.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it was fun. I could just pop it back in, and then away I went. Good party trick, actually. Oh, my God, yeah. I could just pop it back in and then away I went. Good party trick, actually. Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah. I'd always do it, be like, look at this. Are you doing damage every time you do that?

Oh, 100%. Undoubtedly. Undoubtedly. The arthritis that is coming your way, darling. That's how you are. It's going to be worth it, though. You're not stuck with that guy. Yeah, ask the messages in.

Rather arthritis than be with him. I got the ick after 10 minutes on a first date. I went to a bar and asked them to sneak me out the back door Now bars do this And a lot of bars have like the secret code word That you say if you feel really uncomfortable Yeah can I talk to So and so

Can I talk to Jane or something like that Yeah or like a specific order A drink you can order that doesn't exist But it lets them know that you're not feeling safe Yeah So then they can They might have a plan to be able to get you out of there. They often have that written on the back of the toilet doors, by the way.

Yeah, the angel shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Angel shot. Yeah. I told a date that my cat needed feeding at a specific time, meant that I got away, and he thought I was a crazy cat lady, so he didn't contact me again. Oh, bugger, it's 6.15.

Oh, my God. Little Princess Margaret's going to be absolutely starving. I've got to go and feed my cat. Well, she probably doesn't want to wake up and her cat's eating her nose. Well, I was just telling these guys I was, again, Instagram reels served me up. There's this clip from a podcast where this guy was talking to some paramedics, and paramedics were saying when they go to a house where someone's been

deceased for a little bit, like a few days, like a neighbour called and said, I haven't seen Sue from next door Or think something Might have happened And Sue's passed If Sue had a cat The cat's eaten her nose Every time

It always starts on the nose The nose is the softest part There is no way Major Murray I've got a big Hard cartilage Yeah You need to round it

There's not a lot of Fat on your nose That's just where they start And then they just go For the soft bits That they can get to There's no way My cat would eat me

100% It loves me too much. No, Raleigh would be distraught. Yet dogs are sitting beside them waiting for them to wake up. But it never happens. What if it's been a week? No, because then it's a bit manky. But dogs smell and you can't leave them at home by themselves.

I'd still rather have a cat that ate my nose off than a dog that sat next to me. Either way, I'm dead. I'm well Ikea. Eat up, mate. Have a nose. Have a nose on me. Have a nose have a nose on me have a nose I in the middle of a date said

oh I just got a notification that my new gaming router has arrived and I need to go set it up now that's much like the cat needs feeding at a specific time

that'll take care of it add the situation and probably put them off because you're prioritising your gaming router I can't see a future with this nerd

no yeah I'm out my daughter and I have a pre-programmed photo. It's a platter of food and we send it. We say, how far away are you? And then we say, oh, my God, it's my mum's or daughter's birthday dinner and I've totally forgot I've got to go. I'm so sorry.

Or if the other one texts asking how the dog is, that's code for get me out of here. And we reply with with not good. It won't make it through the night. You better come home. Oh, that's genius. Get your parents involved. Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

Oh my God, my dog. My dog's not going to make it. Mum just said the dog's not doing great. Yeah. And if you're not as good an actor, you don't have a degree in acting from Toy for Cutty New Zealand Drama School. Like yourself.

I reckon the mum's birthday one's even better. Yeah. Yeah. Just, oh my God. Oh, what an idiot. I forgot. Oh, jeez. Sorry. I'm going to get out of school. Like yourself. I reckon the mum's birthday one's even better. Yeah. Just, oh my god, oh what an idiot. Oh jeez. Sorry, we're going to get out of here. Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Fact

of the day, day, day, day, day. I do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Now, that is, I will say, disclaimer, the same parent company as this company. Yes, it is. Yes, yeah. In the top left-hand corner of what you can see, there is three lines. Now, you click on the three lines, and it's like a menu. It's like a collapsible menu situation.

Now, lots of websites have these. Most websites have a menu situation, but you click on the three lines, and it drops down to a drop-down menu. Yeah. So click the X, so it goes back to the three lines. That is called the hamburger button. Yeah, there's a hamburger. That type of drop-down menu button that you click has a name

and it is called the hamburger button for very obvious reasons. Do you think that people that work in web design are like, lame fact of the day because they deal with hamburger buttons every day? I thought they might like it because people don't appreciate website designers enough. Because usually, because they're designing the hamburger. And their work and their idiosyncrasies are there.

Yeah. There's the hamburger or the triple dot or the cog, right? For those like kind of extra menus. I don't think that should be a cog. Cog is settings. Cogs is settings. There's a whole row of options, and then they all have a flip-down menu. Isn't Facebook a triple dot?

That's a drop-down. That's a drop-down. That's a drop-down situation. Are they lots of hamburgers, though? Well, no, because the hamburger has to be the three lines that indicates if you click here, you're going to get a list of nuggets. They're nuggets. The dots are nuggets.

Okay. Yeah. Yum. So originally list of nuggets. They're nuggets. The dots are nuggets. Okay. Yeah. Yum. So originally designed in 1981. Oh, wow. The hamburger button. Yeah, you were, oh, no. I was 82, so the hamburger button is older than me.

Wow. Yeah. Does that make you feel old? Nah. Other things make him feel old. Yeah, my own mortality and the fact that I'm definitely over halfway through my life is making me feel a little bit old. No, don't say that.

Maybe. Don't say that. You're 41. He's not living to 82. Oh, God. He eats and drinks way too much for that. I'm only third of the way through.

I haven't had a drink for four days. Round of applause. Hold for applause. Thank you. That's amazing. That's it. Is that because you're sick, though? No, I drank a lot when I was sick

That's not good To be honest It made me feel the best I felt When I was sick I don't know It relates to your immune system Listen to yourself But I'm just

Yeah I'm just taking a break I'm just taking a break Good good Four days I'm proud of you man It's a long time I did two days last week Applause for applause

Applause You were at the pub last night? Yeah Stop the applause Stop the at the pub last night Stop the applause Stop the applause Okay right Yeah so today's fact of the day Is that those three lines that you click

And it gives you a drop down menu That has a name it's called the hamburger button Fact of the day Day day, day, day, day, day. Ergophobia, abnormal and persistent fear of work. Okay. What's that clown one? and persistent fear of work. Okay. What's that clown one? People have that one.

Or balloons. Oh, yeah. I used to be afraid of balloons. And then my best friend shoved me in a room when we were kids with a whole bunch of balloons. And she thought she was helping me. And she popped them all in. It just made it so much worse. So still.

Yeah. So now if people. If I see a balloon, I'm dubious. And I'm on edge. Yeah. But if someone's blowing up a balloon around me, I'm always like, that's enough. Oh, my God.

Do you remember that time you got into a weather balloon? Was it a weather balloon or was it just a large? It was a large. It was like a novelty sized balloon. Yeah, it was amazing. So much fun. I've still got one of those at home. And you do a bit of street performance with that, don't you?

Oh, yeah. Some guy in Sydney is making a massive buck. He looks funny. Of those giant balloons. Yeah. Yeah, that was fun't you? Oh yeah. Somebody in Sydney is making him absolutely buck off those giant balloons. Yeah, that was fun. You're missing out. You should get into it. Electrophobia, the fear of chickens

and hens. You wouldn't want that. Or you wouldn't get your eggs. No. They'd just be piling up. God, listen to this. Phobophobia. Scared of being scared.

Scared of being scared. What? Phobia of phobias. Taphophobia, an abnormal phobia of being buried alive. I don't think that's a phobia. That's a very normal thing to be afraid of. Yeah.

Oh, what a freak. What are you afraid of that for? You'll be fine. Gnomophobia is the one that has taken the internet by storm. Gnomophobia. Gnomophobia. Gnomophobia. That's where garden gnomes. You don't like garden gnomes.

Not gnomophobia. That's gnomophobia. Just N-O-M-O. Gnomophobia. And it't like garden gnomes. Not gnomophobia. That's gnomophobia. Just N-O-M-O. And it's not like FOMO. Fear of missing out. Is it not being... There's JOMO, which is the joy of missing out.

Nomophobia. Is it not being afraid of homosexuals? Yeah. NOMO. You're afraid of people that aren't gay. Yeah. Yeah, that's... You're a NOMO.

You're a NOMO. Oh, that would be heterophobia. Oh, yeah, that's... You're a nomo. Oh, that is heterophobia. Oh, damn, that's what I got to name. No, nomophobia is the fear or anxiety caused by not having your phone. And I always try to think that I'm all right with my phone. But you're not. I'm not, man. I was hanging out with my best friend.

She's my soulmate, The woman I love so much on the weekend. Yeah. And then I was telling her about my phone. I was like, man, I've just got this phone thing. I keep looking at my phone. And then she'd be talking and I'd be like, I've just opened Instagram. I'm not bored of you. I'm not bored of our chat. I'm not bored of our time. This is a special time. We barely get to see each other. But she was engaging you

with your ears, but not with your eyes. Yeah, so I'm like that. She needs to be a more visual storyteller. I'm doing it right now. She needs to be like, and then like this, and then they were like this. I need stimulation. And then do something visual so that you are visually engaged. Yeah, I wonder if it's not nomophobia if I just,

because I need like five levels of stimulation at all times to feel all right. Otherwise I feel like a scream. But we're all, we're just in this habit now, aren't we? Yeah. And we just, we're so, we're a slave to our phones. Would you feel like that, Vaughn? I feel like you're not so much.

I mean, I know you have a nice, you allow yourself a scroll. If I sit down, I can easily find myself scrolling. But no, if I'm out doing stuff, I'll just forget to check my phone for quite a while. Yeah, see, I don't. And then now, then you get the watch. What about you painting your house at the moment? You were filming it the whole time.

Oh, so you couldn't be on your phone. Couldn't be on my phone. Okay. So that's why I was painting so quickly. That's not a time lapse. I'm just going fast. Right. So you can get back on your phone.

No, it's more like when it's not around. It can be in the house and stuff, but if it's not around, I do, I feel like. I wouldn't call it nomophobia yet, but I would call it. You're a semi-nomophobe. I'm borderline. I'm a semi, I'm a part-time nomophobe. Yeah. Play.

ZM's Fletchvorn and Hayley. Silly little pole, silly little pole. It is so silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole, silly little pole. Silly little pole. Well, it might be a silly little pole on air, but just over those songs we were talking about degenerative brain disorders. So behind the scenes, we can get deep. We can get a bit serious here. We do get deep and serious sometimes. Behind the scenes.

Yeah. But the silly little poll, which is far more palatable at 11 minutes to nine on a Tuesday morning than ageing and all of the effects that it has. What do you prefer? A bar tab or a pay-as-you-go situation? So this is kind of, at the moment, is it kind of a thing on TikTok

or somebody's had a whinge about this? Yeah. It also, for me, it depends on like how big is the group I'm with. Because a tab, as we know, someone can always get lumped

with things at the end whereas everyone just sort of pays as they go. I like that. Like Hayley and I. Tab is a day session with your family. Like, I'm thinking...

With your immediate family. With my immediate family. Yes. I'll just be like, oh, I'll put that down and then Sharae and I will have some drinks and then the kids

will get a Sprite or what have. Which is weird also when you've got kids, you'll be like, no, you've had a Sprite as you finish your fifth beer. Hey, no, you've had a Sprite.

Yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can I have another one of these? Dad, can I have a Sprite? You've had a Sprite. You've had your Sprite. There's too much sugar. But if you're joining your friends at a bar

and say you're being healthy, or you're just in for one drink, you don't want to be lumped with... Or the thing is, if we're settling in for a big day, but say, Fletch, you're popping in and you're popping out, you're leaving earlier,

either you're abandoning me and Vaughn with your bloody drinks or you've got to go in and pay off some of the tab. Or if you are only there for a couple and there's three of us, two go on the tab and you buy a round. So then we're at the same, we're even sleepers. But who's got the chips? Do you know what I mean? Like when you go to pay, you're either getting a lot. He'll pay the chips.

But you know, some people wouldn't pay the chips. I always pay. I always get a chips. You always pay the chips. I always get a chips. It doesn't go unnoticed. It doesn't. Thank you.

You're a chips getter. Thank you. I'm a chips getter. He's a chips guy. He's a chips guy. So the feedback was much prefer to pay as you go. 78% 22% of people saying they prefer a bar tab. I think 22% of people saying they prefer a bar tab.

These, I think, 22% of people who... They never pay for chips. They're the people that never pay for a chip. Or they're rich and they don't care. You know what I mean? They never last. Yeah. Like Hayley and I, we're in New Plymouth.

God, did we have to pay for it? I want to say I went first and I grabbed more. This is why. Did you grab a chip? This is why. I grabbed a chips and I grabbed a. This is why. Did you grab a chip? This is why. I grabbed a chip and I grabbed a bread and the bread never made it down to the table. And we ended up paying for it.

We've got a couple of chippy bread hogs. Do you know how scary a bar tab can be when you're deep in the Jager shots? Everyone in the bar becomes your friend and things get out of hand, says Shana. Yeah. You have to learn that lesson the hard way. Hannah says, pay as you go because then I know exactly how much I've spent. Yeah. You have to learn that lesson the hard way. Hannah says, pay as you go,

because then I know exactly how much I've spent. Yeah. Responsible spending. Callie, I prefer a bar tab, but my budget prefers a pay as you go. It does keep you more accountable on a regular basis. Yeah. It does.

Bar tabs creep up. Alan, if you have a tab, it feels like it's for free. It hurts more at the end, but it's worth it, because you've just had all those free drinks. Yeah. True. Beth, it feels like it's for free. It hurts more at the end, but it's worth it because you've just had all those free drinks. Yeah. True.

Beth, it can escalate very quickly and get out of hand with a tab. Yeah, it can. You're right there, Beth. Words of wisdom from Beth. Bar tab, says Abby. It's drunk me's problem at the end of the night. Good luck. Yeah, that's quite fun.

You've just got to hope your credit card has that much on its limit, though. Or you're sober enough to transfer money if you need be. I hate having to split a payment 27 ways. Paying as you go is a way more efficient way, and it means that no one is stuck paying for the extra stuff at the end because somebody forgot to pay for it. Like Hayley and I. Forgot to pay.

Chips or hogs? Chips, hogs. They're not grabbing the chips. Not grabbing the chips. So there you go. People are preferring a pay as you go. See ya, see ya later. Actually, I'm going to

have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Susie Cato is a very good friend of mine. She's already sued me twice so if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action,

that would be great. Tell her I'll review her five stars if she does the same for this podcast and then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening,

maybe give it five stars as well.